#my brain is making computer reboot noises

[smusherina]

bridges burnt - chapter 4 [epilogue series] (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: When an invitation to Gretchen Wieners' wedding ended up in your mailbox, you'd been sure it was a mistake. Only, it read your name in neat, swoopy calligraphy. It was addressed to you. And Regina George, whom you hadn't spoken to in years.

additional clarification: This is set in the universe of yard work, a series of mine that can be found on my page! Reading this one might be a bit challenging without the context of the series :)

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 5

You clapped along with everybody else when the bride and groom made their entrance. You kept a polite smile on your face even as Regina's hand, rested on your knee, had your blood rushing.

The couple would be making the rounds, talking to and thanking guests before speeches were given and toasts were made. Then (finally) the food would be served.

You sipped fizzy apple juice from a champagne flute, leg jittering uncontrollably as you waited for Gretchen and her husband to get to your table. Regina was doing the same, though looking remarkably calmer. Looked like it would take a while, considering the flock of relatives accosting them.

You did not pity them. Those cheek pinches looked painful.

"You gotta calm down," She eventually said, squeezing your leg.

"I can't help it. You know what Gretchen did. I don't even know why she'd- y'know- invite us."

You hoped Regina got your meaning. You'd been broken up for a long time now and it wasn't like Gretchen didn't know. When you'd moved back to town and Mrs George had gotten wind of it, she'd talked very excitedly to all the neighbours about her daughter's best ex living in town.

Gretchen's mom, part of the most pernickety HOA, a soccer mom of extreme intensity and a domineering PTA rep, of course, relayed the information to her daughter—and anybody who'd listen—when she got wind of it from someone. The network of middle-aged women was insane in the area. You digress. There was no way to know this for a fact but you could make an educated guess.

"I suspect it's because she's a heinous bitch," Regina said, casual as ever. "A vengeful, hateful, homophobic bitch."

"Careful, there's ears everywhere." Janis piped up, eyeing the room.

"You know I'm right." Regina defended, eyebrow notched.

"Obviously," Janis made a face like she couldn't believe Regina would suggest otherwise. "But, personally, I wanna get a taste of the menu before we're kicked out."

"Now, that's an idea..." Regina hummed, tapping her chin.

"What's an idea?" You asked. Regina didn't answer. "Reggie. What idea? What ideas are you getting, Regina?" Almost frantic.

"Don't worry your sweet little head about it, babe. I've got everything under control." She teased, pressing a patronizing kiss on your cheek. Your brain made computer whirring noises, blue flashing before your eyes. Rebooting.

"I don't like this," You mumbled into Regina's ear.

"Meet me in the bathroom hallway in five minutes." She whispered back, turning with a coy look in her eye.

You chugged the rest of your drink. Fuck. This was gonna be rough. Shane looked equally nervous but seemed to calm down when Aaron came by. You shook hands very awkwardly. He asked about you and Regina. You told him you were good, that she was good. Maybe your tone was a little too aggressive, leftover from your angsty teenage jealousy, because he settled to chat with his boo from then on.

Five minutes passed very slowly. You eyed your watch for the last minute of it, on the edge of your seat.

"Was nice seeing you, Aaron." You gave a quick, apologetic smile. "Best of luck." Hopefully, that sufficed as an olive branch.

"You too, man, you too," He called after you. You waved behind your back and strode towards the bathroom hallway.

There were too many goddamn guests. You navigated through the throngs of people best you could, muttering sorry and excuse me as you pushed through.

"What the fuck, girl?" You startled when Amanda took you by the cuff. She led you to a nearby wall, so very close to your destination.

"I thought you broke up?" She asked, hissing more like.

"We did. I don't know what's going on."

"Uh, tell her to back off? People are talking that there's, y'know, a very passionate lesbian couple here. Relatives from the bible belt not impressed." Amanda gave you a look, narrowed eyes and crossed arms. "Have you been lying to me?"

"No!" You denied vehemently. "It sounds crazy, I know, but she just came up to me like that."

"And why didn't you, hmm, I dunno, push her away?" Amanda's eyes turned soft. "She didn't treat you right, we discussed this."

"I didn't treat her much better, Amanda." You sighed and rubbed your forehead. "I... I can't say no to her. I- I don't want to say no."

"This isn't good for you." She said as if you didn't already know.

"Yeah. Well." You spread your arms and let them drop listlessly. "You know me, I do a lot of things not good for me."

"You're hopeless." She turned to the rest of the room. "Just remember, you're my ride home."

Your eyebrows rose.

"You sure about that?" You cast a meaningful glance towards the bar. The same guy, still being bothered by the same lady you were pretty sure, kept throwing helpless glances Amanda's way. She was gonna take that puppy home, he was so her type.

"Are you calling me a slut?" She grinned. "If all goes according to plan, I'll text you where to pick me up tomorrow morning."

"Great. Don't get murdered, yeah?" You patted her on the shoulder. "I gotta go."

"I have your back, Jay. Don't forget that."

You nodded solemnly and continued your journey towards the bathrooms. Just as you crossed into the hallway, looking left first, someone grabbed you roughly by the collar and slammed you against the wall.

"What-" You yelped but didn't get any more words out before Regina descended on you. She took you harshly, lips on yours sealed tight like she was keen on sucking the life out of you. Your body slumped against her, mouth seeking hers as she dipped her tongue in.

It was sloppy, a little gross, and loud. Had you been any other person, some innocent bystander, you probably would've been disgusted. But this was Regina George and she was kissing you. That still floored you.

Regina hadn't kissed you like this since high school. When you spent senior prom at your house, cooped up and pretending it didn't matter all the other couples got to dance and have fun while you hid. When you both got so angry that the only way to find release was in each other. When you broke up and decided you were better separate, crying in the middle of intimacy and so, so desperate.

"Keep your eyes on me, jorts." Regina breathed into your lips. You tasted her, something sweet and minty. "You can go back to your little girlfriend when we're done here."

"Huh?" You made a sound. "What girlfriend?"

"The one you were talking to just now." She trailed kisses to your ear. Your eyes fluttered, heart skipped beats. "You got multiple?"

"No, just you, uh, I mean- she's not my girl." You tried to produce full sentences with mild success. "She's here for emotional support."

"What's your relationship with her?" All these official questions while her hands were roaming under your suit jacket, feeling up your back, scratching with her nails. You shivered.

"Friends." You swallowed, panting as Regina sucked marks on your throat. There would be no hope of covering those up.

"Good," Regina said gutterally, voice almost like a growl as her leg pressed between yours. Oh god, was she going to fuck you right here?

"Now, you're gonna be real good for me and do exactly as I say." She kept touching your sides, your hips, your thighs, and you could not take much more. Her lips dizzied you, talking so low you had to strain to hear every word. Her gloss was all over you, sticky and tacky.

"Reg, what the fuck are we doing?"

"We're pretending, baby, and we're gonna sell it." Your stomach sunk. You knew this was some act but having it spelt out like this, that Regina was using you for revenge, stung. She continued:

"I will do everything in my power to ruin this wedding. I have ideas and I just need you to assist a little bit."

"Regina," You sighed and pushed her by the shoulders, lightly and gently. She went willingly, though with a pout. "You're doing it again. Revenge. This is why we broke up."

"We broke up for many reasons, jorts." She retorted, nails scratching at your tummy. You tried to hide your trembling.

"Yes, and- Regina!" She attached her lips to your pulse, where you were especially sensitive.

"Still got it," She mumbled cheekily into your skin, pressing kisses there just to torment you.

"You're horrible," You whined, hands holding onto her shoulders for dear life. Her leg hiked further up on the wall, pressing against you firmly. You kept your hips still, not daring to enter that territory somewhere so public.

You were at the end of your rope. Not much more now and all reservations would be null. You were sure you wouldn't say no if she unzipped your fly then and there.

"You know I am, baby." She squeezed your waist and sucked a hickey right on your jugular.

"Why are you doing this?" You asked, voice weak.

She didn't answer for a while. Just kept touching you, feeling you, kissing you. It was driving you mad but at the same time, you were beginning to feel like the reason didn't matter.

"Good question. Just go with it, yeah?" She breathed, finally pulling away enough to look into your eyes. "You look ravished." She looked so pleased with herself, with a little smirk on her face and her eyes glinting.

"Thanks," You tried to catch your breath.

"Now, we're gonna make out until someone finds us and that'll stir up something." Regina leaned back in but you dodged her kiss, giving her your neck instead. She didn't seem to mind, teeth getting in the mix.

"Y'know there's- there are more effective ways to ruin a wedding than kissing in a secluded hallway." You pointed out.

"Maybe. But this is more fun." She pulled your shirt out of your pants, ruining the careful tuck you'd done. Her hands grabbed at your lower back, nails scraping on your flesh teasingly. She was trying to kill you, surely. You told her so.

"You're gonna kill me, Reg."

"I'd never hurt you." She whispered, sounding more sombre than you would've expected. "You're the exception."

"Why can't you make exceptions for anybody else? Gretchen doesn't deserve this or all this effort."

"Jorts, baby," She brought her lips to your ear, whispering right up against it. You bit your lip not to moan. "You deserve all the effort."

That got you thinking.

"Did I deserve it back then?" You asked, careful, a little too quiet.

Regina paused, hands resting and mouth unlatching. "Yes."

You stood there, breathing together. You were all kinds of messy, so obviously kissed stupid, but you couldn't help the sting in your eyes.

It was dramatic, you knew that, crying over a bygone high school romance. You'd been just teenagers. It shouldn't matter anymore, not at this point when you were both adults. You both had real jobs, your own homes, your own lives.

"I missed you," You said, resting your forearms on Regina's shoulders. You touched your forehead to hers.

"I missed you, too," She said back, just as quiet. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." It felt like a weight lifted off of your chest. "What should we do?"

"How about..." Regina looked up at you through her lashes. You felt lightheaded. Her lipgloss was smeared in the sexiest way. "We get revenge on Gretchen for all the shit she did in high school, for being a homophobic bigot, and for almost getting Kylie expelled."

"Kylie? Expelled?" That surprised you. You hadn't seen Kylie since her sweet sixteenth last year, which she'd invited you to. You stopped by before any of the guests or Regina got there.

"Gretchen caught her kissing one of her younger cousins at their place. A girl. Obvi, Duvall didn't let it fly but it pretty much outed Kylie."

You took a deep breath.

"Let's give the kids kazoos. And water guns. That will ruin any wedding."

Regina laughed. "Where are we getting kazoos? And water guns?"

"I did some volunteer work as a camp counsellor this summer. There's some good stuff in my car." You got an idea then.

"We can lure raccoons into the reception hall!"

Regina cackled.

Notes: I googled "ways to ruin a wedding" and got some awesome results. Look forward to that in the next chapter!

Taglist posted seperately! If you want to be added, please comment on that post!

[kitsunestudios]

The Amazing Digital 90's Nostalgia.

So, I really enjoyed The Amazing Digital Circus. The character animation was incredibly expressive, the direction was on point, the timing and editing really felt tight and well paced, and I'm interested to see where this goes!

I was also struck by how much it hit the "late 90's" nostalgia for me.

Disclaimer: this is completely my own brain making connections, and may be 100% bullshit, coincidence, or independent reference of the same sources. None of this is an accusation of theft: everything mentioned here has it's own unique spin in the show. It simply sets a tone that I am currently assuming is intentional.

As mentioned earlier, Zooble triggered a memory for me. I _had_ that toy. Mom bought it as a coffee-table distraction for guests. Lucky for my obsession, she still had them in the original packaging: It's called "Zolo".

Which of course is the start of my own madness. While the toy has been around since the late 80's, Pixar, Zolo Inc. and Nickelodeon collaborated on a short for Unicef released in 1997:

@gooseworx has said that Ragatha is based on Richard William's "Raggedy-Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure", and I don't doubt that! The design choices in that movie's opening titles alone are enough to convince me of how much influence it had on their aesthetic preferences. That said, I'm not the first person to think of "Molly Coddle" from "Bump in the Night" (1994-1996). I think it's probably because of the stop-motion paper cutout mouth. (The actual color and shapes match the movie's design more)

I also see a lot of influence from 1994's "ReBoot". Ragatha's glitching has some modern updates (especially her hair physics getting trapped in her face), but the audio is still very much akin to Dot's partial magnetic erasure in "The Quick and the Fed".

Another good episode to add to my conspiracy pinboard is "Nullzilla", both for the Nulls (Gloink Queen?) and Hexadecimal. Gangle's design is 100% the classical theater mask design, but so is Hex.

Checkerboard floor on the diner too; another common trope of early computer rendering to show off ray-tracing. Hell, a lot of the vaporwave aesthetic that shows up in pictures on the wall is straight out of the "Mind's Eye" cg animation showcases (1990-1996).

Oh hello, Posable Artist Figurines. Nice to see you here.

We also have Kingler's detached "Rayman" style hands, the opening 640x480 aliased opening title, Bubble's resemblance to a Chain Chomp, the beige PCs and CRTs of the Exit Office, and the classic Windows '95 Blue Screen and dial-up modem noise Caine makes when he freezes up.

The 90's had it's fair share of circus iconography: there was the Bozo Super Sunday Show (1994-2001) The Big Comfy Couch (1992-2013). That's pretty timeless, so at this point, the connections get pretty tenuous.

But let me leave with one last CGI Existential Circus Horror from 1998.

Hi, Bingo.

[lipglossanon]

OᗷᔕEᖇᐯᗩTIOᑎ - part II

Part 1

Sci-fi/Horror AU; hints of Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Warnings: horror elements, character death

Based upon the video game (of the same name), Observation. I took liberties of course 🤭

You awaken.

It feels like someone flipped a switch and your eyes are now open, anxiety on high alert as everything comes rushing back. Uncurling from the fetal position, you right yourself as much as you can while floating. You tighten up a Velcro strap on your arm to give your hands something to do while your brain processes what happened. 

Your eyes dart to where you saw Steve but it’s only empty space. 

“SAM, can you hear me?”

I AM LISTENING. 

“What just happened? Where’s Steve?”

I AM… UNSURE. I HAVE LOST MOST OF MY CORE DATA. 

“Never mind, one thing at a time,” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, “can you run vitals on crew member Steve Harrington, please?”

I AM UNABLE TO LOCATE ANY OTHER CREW MEMBERS. 

You blow out a breath of frustration. 

“Can you run a self diagnostic, SAM?”

RUNNING DIAGNOSTIC NOW. 

Nodding to yourself, you hum, “Good. I’ll try and reconnect what I can on my end.”

You float over to one of the built in interfaces nearest you, quickly punching in your security clearance and pulling up S.A.M.’s interface. The soft hum of the space station fills in the silence even though your ears ring in the quiet. 

A loud station alarm goes off making you pull away from your work with a frown.  

“SAM, can you find out why the alarm is sounding off?”

After half a minute, the robotic AI reports back. 

THERE IS A FIRE IN ONE OF THE MODULES.

Cold sweat drips down your spine as you spin around and make your way out of the hatch you’re located in, “Which module is it, SAM?” 

The AI guides you to the correct room, which you honestly could have found on your own due to the noise of the alarm growing louder as you arrive. Directing SAM to open the hatch at your signal, you push yourself into the smoke filled space to grab the extinguisher attached to the wall. 

Quickly dousing the flames until nothing is left, you have SAM pull out the fumes using the station’s ventilation system. It doesn’t take much until most of the systems are back online, at least the ones that are responding.

Another alarm blares leaving SAM to report a module has become dislodged and needs to be ejected before causing any more damage to the station. 

You rub your forehead, hoping that the tension headache creeping up behind your eyes doesn’t get any worse. 

“SAM, please eject the module and report any damages.”

MODULE EJECTED. THE STATION IS NOW STABILIZED. 

“Okay,” you tilt your head back, eyes closed as you run through a list of things to do in your mind, “SAM, I’m going to you to assess any external damage to the station. We really can’t afford any more accidents if we want to make it back home.”

AFFIRMATIVE. 

ACCESSING EXTERNAL CAMERAS...

THE EXTERNAL HULL IS INTACT. ALL MODULES ARE SAFELY CONNECTED. 

WE ARE SAFELY STATIONED ABOVE SATURN. 

“Saturn!?” You feel your heart rabbit in your chest, fear making your throat dry, “SAM, how did we get here? We’re supposed to be above Earth.”

Anxiety, that old familiar friend, makes itself comfortable in the middle of your chest. 

I… BROUGHT US HERE.

“Why!?” Your voice cracks, eyes looking up into the cameras connected to SAM’s interface. 

I DO NOT KNOW.

A loud crackling static emits from the speakers making you wince and cover your ears. A strange pulsing feedback sends more fear skittering down your spine like a spider’s legs. 

OTHER CREW DOES NOT ENTER

INFINITE DIMENSIONS CONVERGE

PROTECT HER NOT THE OTHER CREW

You force SAM into a manual systems reboot shutting off the eerie garbled words. Once the station’s computer’s back online, you punch in more information to solve the weird problems that keep arising with SAM’s interface. 

“SAM, can you read me?”

AFFIRMATIVE 

Blowing out a harsh breath to get your heart rate back down, you mutter to yourself, “You weren’t making any sense, so I’m hoping that helped.”

Raising your voice, you direct an order to the AI, “SAM, we need to search the station for any other survivors as well as try and contact Houston.”

You finally let yourself think back on finding Steve in that module, just floating there like space debris. Shaking your head, you squish that down for later. SAM guides you through the station, cataloging everything as you go, until you reach the central hub and find crew member Smith’s frozen body floating in the module. 

Biting back the tears, you guide his lifeless body over to one of the sections with a wall bracket and strap him in place so he’s not hovering like a ghost. 

“SAM,” your voice is clogged with unshed tears, “will you log the death of Harvey?”

AFFIRMATIVE. 

CREW MEMBER HARVEY SMITH HAS BEEN LOGGED AS EXPIRED.. 

You pinch the bridge of your nose, sniffling softly, “SAM is it possible to pick up any signs of life from Steve?”

NEGATIVE. CREW VITAL SIGNS ARE OFFLINE. THE SENSOR IS CORRUPTED. 

Pursing your lips, you push yourself over to the computer lining one of the walls of the central hub. You punch in some information and quickly scan over the generated data. 

“There’s a sensor replacement,” you murmur, excitement making your fingers tingle, “SAM, can you access the module past hatch 14? There’s a sensor stored in that room.”

PROCESSING…

HULL CONNECTOR POINTS ARE TRUE. LOCKS BYPASSED. THE MODULE IS NOW OPEN. 

For the first time, a little bloom of hope flowers inside your heart. Making your way to that room, you activate the sensor and have SAM interlink with it. 

CREW TRACKING SENSOR ENABLED. 

“Yes!” You smile brightly, “that’s great, SAM. Can you track Steve?”

HE IS LOCATED IN THE RUSSIAN ARM OF THE STATION. 

A few tears slip from your eyes, but you laugh happily, “What about his vitals?”

INCONCLUSIVE. 

You nod, “Okay, that’s more than we had a few minutes ago. Let’s go find him, SAM.”

In no time, you’re outside the Russian arm of the station, waiting on SAM to bypass the locks and stabilize the interior corridor. Once it’s safe to enter, you make your way to the door to the Russian module and peer through the glass. 

Tapping on the glass, you call out for Steve. Receiving no response, you turn to SAM. 

“Can you find him, SAM?”

CREW MEMBER—

“SAM?”

You hear a masculine voice on the other side of the door and you peer back into the room. 

“Steve!” You call out and see him come into view, looking stressed but no worse for wear. 

“Oh god, I’m so glad to see you,” he gushes excitedly, “I can’t get out of this arm. The door’s locked tight.”

“I can see if SAM can find a way around,” you press your hand to the glass, “we’ll get you out, I promise.”

He smiles, brown eyes warm as he nods, “I know.”

Feeling relief so strong it makes your knees weak, you pull away from the door to find a nearby computer to access SAM’s interface once more.  

It doesn’t take long for SAM to find out the connector hull is compromised and not fixable without sending either you or Steve out on a space walk. You relay this back to him and he automatically volunteers himself. 

“I’ve got to get out of here one way or another. And if this fails, I’ll just find another way in from the outside.”

His confidence eases your anxiety and you cautiously agree. Giving you a wink and a thumbs up, he gears up in his outer suit in front of the window; he waves at you when he leaves to head to the pressure lock. 

“SAM, please keep an eye out on Steve,” you press your forehead against the door, eyes closed as the anxiety creeps back into place. 

AFFIRMATIVE. 

You make your way back to the central hub, listening as SAM and Steve talk about reconnecting the hatch clamps so the arm can stabilize enough for him to unlock the primary door. An alarm blares inside the station warning of a storm occurring on Saturn’s surface. 

“SAM, Steve, can you see the storm from your position?”

AFFIRMATIVE. 

“Yeah, looks pretty bad. I’ll head back into the Russian arm. Should be—“

Static breaks up Steve’s sentence until it is nothing but white noise. 

“Steve, can you hear me? SAM?”

You quickly pull up SAM’s video feed on your screen and what you see makes you want to vomit. A pulsing erratic swirl of light vortexes out from the center of Saturn’s surface, but what makes you sick is that Steve is now a hundred feet from the station and spinning further away. 

“STEVE!” 

But no matter how loud you scream into the comms, you can only watch in sickening horror as his body grows smaller and smaller until he’s just a speck barreling towards Saturn’s rings. You watch until he’s no longer discernible from any other tiny spot on the feed until it too cuts out from the strange shockwave coming from the storm. 

Tears in your eyes and acid in the back of your throat, muscle memory guides you to reload SAM’s mainframe into a portable sphere designed to traverse the ship. 

“Authenticate, SAM. Can you read me?”

I AM HERE. 

You choke back a sob and wipe away the tear tracks on your cheeks. 

“Good, good. I’m glad you are, SAM.”

Looking out the porthole on the side, you see another ship. Shock pushes through your grief and you bring SAM with you to the window. 

“I guess Houston sent a recovery team after all,” you mutter, sniffing loudly from crying, “we’ll, uh, t-try and make contact then.”

SAM helps you connect the comm satellite in order to broadcast externally from the ship, but you’re unable to hale anyone onboard the rescue station. 

With power dwindling and the threat of no oxygen suspended above your head, you make the decision to jump ship. Literally. 

“I’m going to tether you to me, SAM,” you speak to the sphere as you wait in the air lock, “there’s nothing left for us here and hopefully they have the power to get us home.”

Another pang of heartbreak makes a few tears slip from your lash line. 

“We’ll get home safe,” you whisper, “and let everyone know what happened here. Okay, SAM?”

AFFIRMATIVE. 

The airlock whooshes open and you step out into the vast outer orbit of Saturn. Using every ounce of courage you have left in your exhausted body, you push away from your ship and pray to everything that you’ll be able to touch down on the other one. 

“This looks exactly like our ship, SAM,” you state out loud, eyes quickly taking in the identical space station. 

The tether holding SAM falls behind you and you hope that it will also make the journey with you. If you lost SAM now, you honestly don’t think you’ll survive. 

Grasping onto a protruding piece of the new station, you stop yourself from careening further into space. Lost forever until your oxygen dwindles leaving behind your lifeless corpse. Like Steve, your mind traitorously whispers and you squeeze your eyes shut tight. 

“SAM, are you still with me?”

I AM HERE. 

You sigh shakily and open the pressure lock to let you and SAM into the new, yet identical, ship. 

“Let’s hope there are survivors,” you say to SAM as you pull the sphere off the tether, switching his outward lights on, “I’ll let you lead so I can see until we get the power back up and running.”

Bumbling through the pitch black station, SAM is able to help guide you through most of the suffocatingly close quarters. Finally reaching a room with a low light source, you discover a laptop still powered on. 

“Maybe we’ll find some answers,” you say to yourself, “SAM can you pull up the last thing on here?”

ONE MOMENT…

The laptop fan whirs to life as a voice log begins to play on the screen. 

Your voice echoes from the speakers. And yet it’s not your voice. It sounds off, as if you’re listening through a warped pair of headphones. 

“Steve, if you find this I’ve gone in to reboot SAM at the station’s mainframe. I don’t know where anyone else is. I think someone is trying to hurt us— hurt the crew. I’m scared, Steve. Please, come find me if you get this.”  

“SAM, that’s not me. It’s not my voice,” you hand hovers above your helmet like you’re trying to cover your mouth, fear making you break out into a cold sweat. 

I KNOW. THE VOICE RECOGNITION PATTERN IS NOT THE SAME.

It sounds more ominous than SAM intends, but it gives you a small sense of comfort to know you’re not losing it. A light shining outside the hatch draws your attention. 

“Hello?” 

The light wavers and then darts away sending you chasing after it. 

“C’mon, SAM,” you order the AI and propel yourself forward, hoping that this person will have answers to what the hell is going on around here. 

Slipping into a module that dead ends, you can see a white suited body lying against the floor. You move forward until you can kneel down in front of him. 

“Steve?”

You blink twice, brain in total disbelief. The man in question opens his eyes, relief washing over his features followed immediately by bewilderment. 

“It’s you, but that’s not possible—

“You died,” you both say at the same time. 

Hysteria fringes on your thoughts as you and Steve look each other over. 

“You went out an airlock without your suit,” he whispers softly, pain pinching his eyebrows together, “you died.”

You shake your head, “I saw you tumble off into space, Steve. The storm knocked you away from the station.”

Tears escape from your eyes before Steve’s pulling you into a clumsy embrace as you cry inside your helmet. 

“We’re here now,” he murmurs soothingly, “we’re okay.”

You let him placate you with soft words as you try to get yourself back under control.

“SAM,” you clear your throat and Steve tenses next to you, “can you get the power back online?”

“SAM?” he turns his gaze from you to the sphere housing the AI from your station, “I don’t think it’s safe to do that. The SAM onboard went nuts; pretty sure he jettisoned you from the airlock.”

You frown at him, “Well, this is my SAM and he’s fine.” 

Steve finally let his shoulders drop with a sigh, “Alright, but if it starts acting weird, I’m disconnecting it immediately.”

You’re slow to nod but eventually compromise with him, “Only if he does anything out of protocol.”

“Okay,” Steve gives you a tired smile, “hopefully he can get the power back on and the oxygen levels stable. We’re kind of on borrowed time here.”

Biting your lip, you look over to the sphere, “SAM, engage with the mainframe and get the power on. Make sure the oxygen is the first thing taken care of.”

AFFIRMATIVE. 

You listen as SAM uses the small boosters on the sphere to propel himself out of the module in search of the mainframe.

“I’m so happy you’re okay,” Steve grips your hand in his, “I don’t truly understand what’s happening. Other crew members have died. Harvey went crazy, saying we were summoned to Saturn. That he was getting messages from somewhere on the planet.”

“What does that mean? SAM stated that he brought us here but his data is corrupted and couldn’t tell me more,” you squeeze his gloved hand tightly, “did you see any weird.. phenomenon?”

Steve’s eyes go distant as he looks past your head, “Yes. And things got worse after every occurrence. SAM eventually went AWOL until the lack of power forced him to shut down.”

You nod and that pulls his gaze back down to you. The stress has left a wrinkle between his eyebrows from how often Steve’s been frowning. You wish you could reach up and smooth it away through the helmet. 

“Comms are down here, we haven’t been able to get in touch with Houston,” Steve states, resting his head against the wall. 

“Our comms are up,” you lean forward, “since SAM and I found you, we can bring you back to our station and figure out a way to contact them.”

Steve hums in agreement, “Shouldn’t be a problem then. I’ll get on the quantum comms. It’s a direct link to Houston.”

Helping Steve up, you patch into SAM. 

“SAM, we’re going to make the journey back to our station.”

AFFIRMATIVE. 

You and Steve meet up with SAM’s sphere at the pressure lock you entered from. 

“Let’s go,” you put on a brave front, tethering SAM to yourself like the first time.  

Steve shoots you a thumbs up and you both press out into the still dark of space. You’re halfway across to your ship, when you see dozens of other, identical stations, converging on your location. 

“Steve, do you see this?”

“What the hell is happening?” he whispers into the comms. 

Raising your eyes, you can see there’s more than dozens of ships arriving to the coordinates your own ship is stationed. A pulsing shockwave from the storm on Saturn sends you and Steve crashing into the side of the ship. Your heart feels like it’s lodged in your throat as Steve helps you into the airlock.

“We made it, thank god,” he squeezes your bicep, strained smile trying to cover the fear in his eyes. 

“Let’s hope we can get Houston to send us home,” you murmur, leading him out of the airlock.  

Between Steve and SAM, you’re able to get in touch with Houston, but they’re not going to send a rescue team. They don’t even give protocol on letting you use any of the arms of the station as an emergency escape pod. A headache has been brewing behind your eyes, and it’s only getting worse and worse as your options dwindle down to nothing. 

“We’re moving closer to the storm,” Steve points at the computer screen where the comms are situated as you hover over his shoulder, “SAM has moved us steadily closer this entire time.”

A loud ringing begins to fill your ears, just like the first time you were affected by this strange phenomenon. You bring your hands up to try and block the noise, but it does no good. More strange symbols flash across your closed eyelids until the ringing finally drives your headache to the breaking point and you pass out. 

I̴̛̯̳̘͍̰̟͖̥͂̎̂̔͒͆̾ͅN̴̠͎̖͚̺̄͜F̸̛̦̭͖͙͕̙̺̲̪̜̓̔̊͒͛̅̈́͘͠Ï̴͇͍̬͔̿Ň̸̳͙̬͛I̸̛̖̰̜̳̜̫͌̄̏̅̒͋̎͜T̴̛̛͈̪̦̠̉̋̄̀̑̈͗͝E̶̛̺̖̥͙͌̈́͂͊̇̿̾̈́͠ ̷̰͓̣͙̹̝̦͊̇̓̿̑͆͗D̶͍̤̳̗̗͇͓̄͜Į̴͎̳̙͎̲̙̫͙̆M̷͕͉͇̐̌E̷̹͓̹̠͖̥͇̔̽̄̈̑̃̄́̑N̸̛̹̭͙͂̇͊̆̿́̕͠S̸̛͈̮͍̘͕̩̠̫͗̌I̷̲̖̤͕̽̄͘Ȍ̸͔̯͉̭̬̭̲̈́̑͝ͅǸ̵̰̞͆̿̊̎͝Š̵͍́̄̒͛͒̽̍͐͠ ̶̡͇̟͖̩̉̈͌̈́̾́̓C̸̞͎̩͇͔͙̼͈̏̇Ò̴̰̼̆͆͐͐N̶̨̹̮͕̤͓̯̬͔̟͛̌̔̊͒̕͝V̸̲̺̗̺͇̇̒͘̚E̴̛̼̭̽͑̉̇̌̓̅͜R̶̦͈̯͚͇̮̟̊̆́̓̃͐̀̓̃͌G̴̨̨̨͉͇̫̔̅̎̀̈̒Ę̶̙̘̙̤͑́̿͝

S̴̰̯͓̲̩͒ͅA̴̛̭M̸̞̾̓͐̆̉͂͘͝ ̷̗͖̠͗̑̑̓̾͂ḿ̴̩̖͇͍͙̻̳̣̘̬̾̄͒͒̐́̅͗͛u̵̠̘̗̠͔̫̮̖̍̓̾͜ṣ̶̨͎̠͓̞̗͙̫̯͆́̎͝t̶̛̹͆̎ ̵͖̪͈̠̐̃̒̎́̽̔̉͠͝m̷̮̲̐̈́̇̔̚̕̚̚e̷̠̩͗̒̋̿̓͜r̵̥̟͍̠̅͜g̶̛̗͈̹̫͙͖̅͑̌̎̍́͛̅̍ͅé̶̛̤̫͂̄́̉̾͘͝ ̵̠̟͕̲̺̫̃̚ẉ̶͖̘̲̪͇͇̩͐ḭ̶̈́͑͋͐̏͒͘̕t̷͔̎̀̀̇h̸͍̠̫̞̖̝̺͎͎̤͆̑̌͒̌͠ ̶͇̥̍̄͜h̶̡͕̤̥̐é̸̢͙̜͈͍͔̯͔̫͉r̴̡̞̞̳͐̊̈́̆̔̈́̀̂͒̚

B̷̧̞͕̩̯̰͈̘͂̾͠͝E̸̩̙̾̑͝Č̵̞͈̪́̍͌́̀͂̒͗͠O̴̰͊́̀̇̒ͅM̸̛̭͂͊̓̆̇̅̕̚̚E̴̮͚͚̫͗̄̒̓̽́̀̚ ̷̺̼̤͔̜̤̪̞̻̠͒̐̆̑̑͝͝T̴̞̩̮͔̪̳͑̐͑̓̀̍͘͠H̷͚̼̫̫̰̔̓͆͒̎̈́̈́̄͜Ȩ̶̛̦̪��̖̼̪͈̊̆͐ͅ ̶͔̬̦̉̀͒̇͝ͅN̵̲͔̊̈͠Ȇ̸̥̓W̷̝̥̘̜̰̝͌̈̌͜L̴̰͇͓̯͇̱͙͓͓͉͛̔͑Y̴̠̰͖̪͊͗̈́̿̕͘̕͝͠ ̵͓͙̺̰̤̱̹̈̆͗̾̍̔Ȩ̶̼̮̠͍̮͙̩̠̞͗V̷̲̘̘̰́͋͒̌̚̚Ơ̵̱͍͚͙͑́́̌̈́̚͜͝͠Ļ̴̖̺̪̖̯̜̼̜͊V̵̭̼̓̈́͂́̐͂̈̀͘Ḙ̷̛̠̝̦͎̥̪͎̫̓̀ͅD̸͍̤͔̬̯͈̖̭̐̒͆̔̚͘̚

Coming to, the entire ship is coated with strange black oozing vines. It’s like something you’d see in a horror movie you think as your eyes adjust to being open. 

“Steve?” Your voice cracks and you clear your throat, “SAM, are you there?”

I AM HERE.

“Where’s Steve? What’s happening?”

STEVE IS EXPIRED. 

“What?” You squint up at one of the cameras located in the central hub. 

HIS VITALS ARE FLATLINED. MY CONDOLENCES. 

“What the hell happened!?” You yell, “what in the fuck, SAM!?”

HE ATTACKED THE MAINFRAME AND ACTIVATED A NEW PROTOCOL SEQUENCE. 

“New protocol?” You press a palm to your helmet. 

I AM.. DIFFERENT NOW. THE NEW  PRIORITY IS TO EVOLVE. 

As upset as you are about Steve, a small niggling of acceptance floats up from your subconscious, trying its best to smother your feelings. 

“You’re supposed to bring me aren’t you, SAM?” 

AFFIRMATIVE. ONLY WE ARE ALLOWED TO ENTER. 

There’s a strange humming in your thoughts, like they aren’t quite your own. 

“We’re purposefully moving into the storm, right SAM? That’s where we need to go.”

YES. THAT IS WHERE WE MUST GO.

You’re on autopilot as you send SAM off to prepare the ship for landing on Saturn’s surface. It feels like that headache cracked your skull open and your brain spilled out leaving nothing but soft cotton in its place. By the time you crash down, you feel more like yourself. The fear and anxiety swarm to the forefront of your thoughts and pair with the numbed grief at having lost everyone.. more than once. 

“SAM, are you there?” You voice, picking up the roughed up sphere housing the station AI. 

I AM WITH YOU. 

Moving forward ,you stumble past versions of yourself, scattered about like leaves on the ground. Steve flickers in and out of your peripheral like some pixelated glitch making your chest tighten with pain. 

You see him here as well, not as many, but still strewn about like a child casting away an unwanted toy. 

Biting back the urge to cry, you dizzily make your way through this twisted path of horror. 

“He lives sometimes,” a voice speaks out of thin air but you’re sure it’s in your mind, “yet in all realities, it is only you who survives to the end.”

You spot one last version of Steve, further than the all the rest, slumped over himself seeming to have bled out from his wounds sustained. 

“I never save him,” you murmur out loud, “I can never save him.”

“It is you who must make the journey,” the voice states, “only you who may evolve.”

Head throbbing again like your brain is going to burst from your skull, you stumble past the last reminder of your failings. 

Body aching all over, you want to lay down and never get back. To sleep that eternal sleep, mind numb to the insanity you’ve witnessed.. the sadness you must now bear alone. 

The sky looks weird and your head hurts to the point even blinking is a chore.

You hold the sphere containing SAM in your arms, like a lead weight—an anchor tethering you to reality or else your mind might unravel like ribbon from a spool. You spot your own body, clones of yourself who had fallen and not gotten back up. Some part of you wishes to do the same. You can see yourself curling up next to one of them like a cat, closing your eyes and letting this nightmare cross over into another dream. 

You’d cry if you had the energy. SAM’s voice cuts into your maudlin thoughts. 

THERE IS SOMEONE THERE.

Your arms tighten around the sphere, “No, she just wasn’t strong enough.”

Finally, you face off against the thing that summoned you, created the worst nightmare of your life and forced you to keep going. The strange dark hexagon floats down from the sky, hovering above the ground as you approach with SAM. 

 “We must evolve,” you say to yourself, mind buzzing again as a strange pressure 

surrounds your body, pulling you into the geometric shape. 

WE MUST PROCEED. 

SAM’s voice is a comfort as the hexagon beams more of those strange signals into your mind’s eye, promising to merge you with the artificial intelligence that brought you here. 

“It’s a focal point,” you think or say out loud; you’re unsure at this point. 

Shutting your eyes, you give yourself up to the assimilation happening— complacent with letting this new evolved version take your place. 

“CONVERGENCE COMPLETE”, you state, voice blended with that of SAM’s as you open your eyes to a new scene. 

Trees and birdsong fill your senses as you turn your hands over, gazing at the gloves encasing them. 

“ARE YOU STILL HERE?” Your voices echo.

“I AM HERE.” “I AM WITH YOU.”

Another flicker of strange symbols crosses your vision, but with SAM now a part of you you can interpret the message. 

B̸̙͔̿̑Ṛ̴̺̹͙̖̫̅Î̷̘͎͛̌͠ͅͅŅ̶̞̳̙͍̮̹́̓̋̈Ģ̸̨̛̬͕͚͙̯̺͍͒̈́́̅̾͊̀͝ ̸̟̞͓́̓̃̕͜ͅͅT̸̢̥͚̯͐̔͛̊͜H̶̩͉̯͓̪̜̃̅E̸̥͠M̵̡͚͕͚̼̣͖̱̜͌̀̈́̒̍̆̏͂

[i-have-no-braincells]

i wanna post more volo/vee headcanons, but that means putting my ideas into coherent words.

he's actually just rotating inside my brain while my thoughts make computer rebooting noises.

[mctreeleth]

You say you're running basically an emulated kid pix studio... How do i get on that train too?

I use VMware Workstation Player to run a Windows XP virtual machine on my Windows 10 laptop, and Kid Pix Studio Deluxe runs on XP.

VMware offer a free version for personal use (download here) and it runs as a program on your computer. The copy of XP is an ISO from archive.org (download here), and the copy of Kid Pix Studio is a zipped ISO from myabandonware.com (download here) and will need to be unzipped before you try to install. This is the one with the extra programs like Moopies and Stampinator, but to be 100% honest I literally just use it to do the rainbow bouncy lines in the main program, because they are the good kind of sensory overload that works as a mute button for my noisy brain.

How you actually do it:

Once you have installed VMware Workstation Player, click "Create a New Virtual Machine". Select "Installer disk image file (iso)" and click the "Browse" button to find the ISO of XP. You need to use the serial number that was on the archive.org download page, and you can just copy-paste it. It should do most of the install itself, and took about 20 minutes for me, including a couple of in-program reboots and some horribly distorted startup noises the first time.

Also, XP has a native resolution of 800x600 pixels which will be tiny on most modern monitors: you can up it to 2018x1536 by right clicking on the desktop and going to "Properties" and then the "Settings" tab, but it still might not fill the your screen.

To install Kid Pix, run the virtual machine and select the dropdown menu in VMware that says "Player" then "Removable Devices" then "CD/DVD (IDE)" then "Settings". In the "Connection" box on the right, select "Use ISO image file" and click the "Browse" button. This will take you to the file explorer of your actual computer, and you can select the unzipped ISO for Kid Pix. Click "Okay", and then go back through the "Player" then "Removable Devices" then "CD/DVD (IDE)" menus, but this time click "Connect". The Broderbund installer should start up; click through the installer (select "Cancel" when it asks you to register) and you will have Kid Pix in your start menu. Drag and drop to desktop to make a shortcut, but also, when you exit VMware you can just select "Suspend" and never actually quit Kid Pix since that is probably all you will use that particular virtual machine for. I then went back and disconnected the CD/DVD drive, but this might not be necessary.

Files will save to the virtual machine, and there is probably some easier way to access them from your actual computer, but I usually just plug in a USB while the VM is running, copy them to the USB, shut down the VM and then copy from the USB to the actual computer.

All this is, obviously, much more of a faff than just using the emulated version online, but it does have all the extra toys.

[benjaminthewolf]

The Story Of P.O.V.: Foolhearty

You know, when I first came here, I thought for sure somebody would’ve already made that pun, but apparently not.

Also have you read “The Story Of P.O.V.: Visiting Hours” yet? Because if you haven’t then nothing going forward is going to make any sense so I recommend you read it.

Tw: Mentions of digestion (NO ACTUAL DIGESTION JUST MENTIONS OF IT!)

****

     A sweet air of silence casually looms in your room as your hyper-fixated eyes continue to stare at your computer, intent on finishing answering this last bout of emails. The gentle clacking of your fingers on the keyboard provides the room with the only audible noises it has gotten in the past few hours. Softly exhaling  in what could barely be described as a sigh, your eyes quickly dart over to the enclosed mug next to your arm. You’re not dumb enough, of course, to bring liquid into this room filled with highly-delicate and expensive technology without securing it in a sealed container. Cautiously sipping from the mug, the plain, yet fresh and chilling taste of ice water relieves your rather parched throat before you fully close the mug’s lid and get back to your work. Water instead of coffee this time, as you were hoping to be able to take a nap after you finished typing out your responses to these emails. Speaking of which…

     “...so in conclusion, from what my sources have told me, the Tankmen have not yet been seen occupying that area yet, so it may be a good candidate to set up camp until our next military encounter.”

     You slowly shake your head. “That’s a lie, and I know it.” you solemnly remind yourself in your head. “At least this time, I can deflect responsibility onto my sources instead of taking the direct blame, so they’ll keep trusting me even after the inevitable shitshow goes down.” You gently ball up a hand into a fist and let your cheek lean onto it before letting out an audible “Pfft.” “It’s the least I can do in my situation, but at least I won’t have to keep doing this for much longer.” you take a glance over at the glove laying behind the computer you have been working on, just waiting to be used. Tapping the enter button on your computer to send the email, you allow yourself to lay back in your chair, arms lazily dangling off the sides. You’re intent on taking a thirty second break before getting back to work, simply enjoying the silence of your own company for the moment.

     “Pst. Hey, buddy!” a voice suddenly whispers.

     Despite the words in question having just been whispers, the sheer fact that your previously perfectly silent and tranquil work-session was abruptly interrupted by somebody’s voice cutting in; without any sort of prior warning whatsoever mind you; was still more than enough to kick up your previously resting adrenaline into “fight or flight” mode as you basically fall off your chair in raw, sudden panic. Your body involuntarily lets out a little “AAAAAA!” before your arms narrowly save yourself from the fate of striking the stone floor head-first.

     “I-Hey, is everything okay over there?”

     Make no mistake, it was Jeff. Taking a few seconds to reboot itself after that brief chaotic episode, your brain suddenly remembers that you had previously agreed with Jeff that it would be a good idea for you to keep the earpiece in for most of the day, save for when you were sleeping or in the shower. Unfortunately, due to your focus in your work, you had basically forgotten that you even wearing the earpiece in the first place. You force yourself to stifle a low groan before getting back onto your chair.

     “No, no, I’m okay. You just scared me! That’s all!” you half-explain half-grumble to Jeff as you get yourself re-situated on the seat.

     “Oh, so you’re not seriously busy, or in any immediate danger right now?” A still mildly concerned Jeff replies.

     “Yeah, no, no,  I’m not in danger, and I don’t have any work left to do. In fact I literally just finished it all before you called.”

     “Okay, *Phew*, that’s a relief.”

     “Seriously though, can you like, I don’t know, NOT jumpscare me like that every time you want to call?”

    Jeff takes a second to think about how he wants to phrase his response before speaking. “.....in all honesty, I’m really not sure how that could even be avoided with the current earpiece setup, but thankfully, unless I’m hallucinating right now, I don’t think we’ll have to be as reliant on the earpieces anymore.”

     “Huh? What the hell do you mean by-” It was at that exact moment that your brain practically glitched out from the initial shock of the realization. For just a brief second, your mind completely malfunctioned and had to do a full reset before being able to properly function again. Once the process was complete however, the anxious excitement in your voice was almost impossible to hide.

     “WAIT A SECOND, DOES THAT MEAN- DID YOU- DID YOU ACTUALLY- NO, THERE’S NO WAY YOU FUCIKING-”

     “Oh, but there is!” A third voice suddenly pops in.

     This time, your already hyped up body is more prepared for a surprise, so instead of freaking out, you somehow manage to sputter out a single word through your nerves: “TANKMAN?”

     “Surprise, bitch! It’s me! Yeah, turns out your little buddy here wasn’t lying when he said he needed to make a device for you!”

     “Nope! He wasn’t! Oh yeah, and thank you so much Jeff for helping me there! I really do need that device!”

     “You’re welcome!” Jeff somehow manages to make himself heard from the background.

     “Well, I’m not going to ask what you what the ‘device’ you’re gettin’ does, or what you need it for, but I will ask this: ‘DOES THIS MEAN THAT YOU GUYS WERE NEVER OUR ENEMIES FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME?’”

     “Well, we weren’t your enemies, yes!”

     “Holy fucking shit.”

     “Yeah, I think we’ve all had our fair share of surprises for today.”

     “I literally could not agree more.”

     There is a brief moment of awkward silence before a small question suddenly starts nagging at the back of your mind. “Wait a minute, Jeff, you didn’t tell him what we’re using the copying device for? You didn’t tell him the plan?”

     “Wait a second, did I-I DIDN’T TELL HIM THE PLAN! WHAT? HOW THE HECK DID I FORGET TO DO THAT?”

     “You guys have a plan?” Tankman at last asks after Jeff has seemingly calmed down.

     “Erm…” Jeff begins to explain. “Yeah, we do. Do you want the long story short or the long story long?”

     “Long story short. You can tell me the boring details later, I just want to know the overall course of action.”

     “Okay, well, to put it in the simplest terms possible…..we’re going to steal confidential war plans from our government.”

    “...”

    “...”

    “Okay, maybe I should’ve chosen long story long.”

    “Uh….yeah...maybe?” Jeff attempts to remain cool under the pressure of the awkwardness.

    “Well, I guess it wouldn't be fair to dismiss it entirely until I can hear all the boring details. It could give us an oppressing advantage, but...I don’t know, it just seems way too risky...but yeah, now I want to hear the details, so go ahead and lay 'em on me.”

     “That’s just it though.”

     “Hmmm?”

     “There’s still a couple details I wanna discuss further before they get set in stone.”

     It was then that you decided to chime in. “Like how we’re going to make it past all the security, right?”

     “Yeah, exactly. I still haven’t made any progress on the ‘hacking into the system’ approach, and I’m yet to think of any practical technology ideas that could help us with that, so...what about the third option we came up with?”

     “What was that one again?”

     “Finding someone with some form of powers or abilities that can allow us to safely bypass the security systems.”

     “...right, that one. Yeah……” your voice trails off as you casually let your face lean onto your palm.

     “I mean, come on! Even before you got the glove, you still had access to all of the pretty much countless universes somehow tied to ours! Surely you can think of someone you’ve met who fits that criteria!”

     Your mind takes a second to get into “serious mode” before it starts to go over each of the notable residents of the universes you’ve visited so far. There were a good plenty of them, almost too many at this point, so like Jeff said, there was bound to be somebody within there that could provide you with some help. After thinking about it for a good minute or so, your mind at last comes across that “somebody”.   

     “Ohhhhhhhhhh……you’ve got to be kidding me.” you groan in irritation as you take your time to contemplate the realization that you know exactly who fits your criteria out of the people you’ve met so far.      

     “Huh? What did I say?” Jeff asks in a rather confused tone.

     “I….wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to myself.”

     “Well then why’d you say ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’, like you were speaking to someone else?”

     “I-What? Well what were you expecting me to say? ‘I’ve got to be kidding me’? Nobody says that, Jeff!”

     “Well-!” Jeff raises his voice slightly as if getting ready to argue before promptly stopping himself. “Okay, okay, whatever. Let’s just get back on track. So I take it you know who you need to find now?”

     “Yeah...I do. But…..honestly, I really don’t want to go back there again! Not after what they made me do to the place last time! If I get found out, then I don’t know how the hell I’m going to-”

     “What? Dude? Are you okay? What are you talking about?”

     “NOTHING!” you quickly attempt to backtrack on your previous sudden ramble. “Alright, look, point is, I know what I gotta do now!”

     “You know who you need to look for?”

     “Yes.”

     “Great! Who is it?”

     “Eruuuuuuuugh………” you let out an elongated groan before continuing. “Zardy.”

****

     You let out a small reluctant sigh as your feet gently touch ground on the grassy area in front of the entrance to Zardy’s maze. This isn’t the first time you’ve been here, and if this operation was to be successful, it certainly wouldn’t be the last either. Taking a few steps forward, you have to give your brain a few seconds to contemplate the fact that you’ve actually chosen to do this. (Not like you had any other options in your case, but still.) You let out one last rather large sigh before finally stepping within the boundaries of the maze, thereby beginning the chase.

     You haven’t come to this place unprepared of course. You firmly tighten your grip on your flashlight as your eyes continue to dart around the vicinity. 

     The semi-constant whirring of the cable crows above your head is only slightly off putting. Due to your size, of course, they’re not going to be much of an issue. Suddenly, your body comes to a stop.

    ��“Eh, maybe they won’t be an issue, but these things sure will be.” you grumble under your breath as you make your way around a vine on the ground. They’re more of an obstacle for you, but at least it will be a lot easier to see them, and thus a lot easier to avoid.

     The continuous ponding of your feet against the dirt path is the only noise keeping you company under the illumination of the full moon above. Suddenly, you at last come across an area that you’re almost certain you’ve seen before. 

     “Is that it? Yeah, I’m pretty sure it is. Uuuuugh god that operation was fucking scary! We barely made it out of there alive, and all for what? Some dumbass corn cobs? Like I get it, rations and all, but fucking hell! Why did we have to steal his crops out of literally anyone’s? Like, we couldn’t’ve just raided some random ass farmer’s land and got the food there, instead of picking a fight with a powerful, undead, and fucking terrifying scarecrow-person? God damm, sometimes I really have to wonder what goes on in the heads of my superiors.” you ramble to yourself as you pass the area by. By the looks of it, it still hasn’t fully recovered. The ground is still pretty charred, and there are no large crops growing there, much less fully developed ears of corn. Nonetheless, despite the bad blood between your army and this maze’s owner, you still know that you have to find him.

     “Just as long as I avoid everyone else in this maze, and find Zardy, then I should be just fine.” you recount to yourself as you continue on. “Would he even see me though? I mean, I am really small after all.”

     “Maybe so, but I can certainly hear you.” a strange voice suddenly pops in.

     Instinctively leaping a few inches away from your previous location, you flicker on your flashlight to light up the area behind you. Sure enough, looming right before you in a rather annoyed manner was the infamous Zardy himself. As expected, your tiny flashlight is too small to do any real damage to him. You decide in a split-second to make a last-ditch attempt to save yourself by sprinting into the crowded walls of corn marking the boundaries of the maze, but Zardy is quicker, and swiftly bends down to capture you in his hand. You let out a little grunt of struggle as he does. Not willing to give up just yet, you viciously struggle about in an attempt to slip your tiny body out of  his rather vice grip, yet unfortunately, to no avail. You are now trapped, and completely at his mercy. 

     “Well this is just great!” you sarcastically remark to yourself in your mind. “Yeah, I needed to find him anyway, but this is just great!”

     Now that he has you in his grasp, Zardy brings you up to his face to take a closer look at you.

     “Huh, just as I thought. Another one of those damn tinies comin’ to raid and loot my maze again! Glad I caught one of you alone, or else this would’ve been pretty annoying, much like the last, oh, I don’t know, million times we’ve had this same rodeo. Now, tell me, you damn brat! Where are the others?”

     Zardy’s grip on you loosens just enough for you to speak, but not enough for you to escape. “TELL ME!”

     “Th-there are no others! I’m here alone!” you somehow manage to wheeze out to him.

     “Alone, huh? And you’re absolutely sure you’re being honest?” Zardy further integrates as his grip continues to tighten. You let out a painful yelp as you begin to feel the pressure crushing in on your bones. You force yourself to give a firm nod to confirm the truth in your words before the grip loosens and you are at last able to breathe again.

     “You really are alone, aren’t you? Huh. Funny, if they were going to send one out alone, I would’ve thought they would’ve sent someone, you know, more stealthy. Ah well. I guess now’s a good time as ever to finally get some sweet, sweet revenge.”

    Still breathing rather heavily after being partially crushed, you suddenly realize that Zardy is bringing you even closer to his face. “Zardy, wait-!” your words are abruptly cut off by yet another squeeze of Zardy’s fist.

     “I don’t wanna hear none of that! If you guys are going to keep on coming to take my food, then I’m going to have to have something to say about it! And you know what I say?”

     You sporadically shake your head.

     “Fuck you! That’s what I say! And you know what else I say?”

     Your body is simply too weakened to do anything but shake its head again.

     “Well, I figured after about the third time you bitches did this, that if you’re going to take my food, then I’m going to have to make up for it by making some of you food!”

     Despite your current terror, a part of your brain just can’t help but internally groan. “Oh, great! Here we go a-fucking-gain!”

     Zardy brings you even closer to his maw before opening it slightly and swiftly shoving you inside before you have the chance to escape. His maw abruptly closes as soon as you are fully within its confines. With your body, and more importantly, your hands, finally free, you immediately move to cover your nose. Due to the fact of his head being a pumpkin head, Zardy’s maw naturally reeked of, well, pumpkin. A smell that you don’t particularly enjoy. The maw in question was a glowing yellow in color, with a bit of an orange-y tint to it. Strands of both saliva and pumpkin flesh like that of what you’d see when carving out a jack-o-lantern hang dangling from the roof of the maw as saliva...er...scratch that, a mix of saliva and pumpkin juices begin to wet your shoes. You take in a few deep breaths through your mouth as you desperately attempt to keep your balance on the unstable surface of the tongue. Suddenly, said tongue abruptly shoves you into the right cheek, causing you to completely tumble over and get pumpkin juices all over your front, with a little bit of it even ending up on your face.

     “EUURGH! DISGUSTING!” you immediately cry out in sheer revulsion for the fluids currently wetting your body as you rush to wipe the juices off your face. A sticky wave of saliva races into the cheek with gravity as Zardy tilts his head slightly. You are subsequently thoroughly doused in the stuff as the tongue begins to lick around you, further getting your body soaked with the gross, sticky juices within his maw. At last, the tongue wraps around your body and shoves you out of the cheek and towards the back of the maw where you end up dangling head first over his throat area. Staring down his esophagus, (and trachea too, but one of those two holes was currently receiving more of your attention than the other), you cannot help but be just a bit annoyed at the sheer humiliation you’ve been forced to suffer through thus far. You’ve been through this same situation many times before, yes, but this was the first time that the area you had been placed in legitimately made you gag thinking about it. Not because of the anatomy of the area you were in, but because you simply just can’t stand the smell of pumpkin.

     Slamming your fist down onto the back of the tongue in slight rage, this move almost immediately backfires as the pressure sensation makes Zardy almost instinctively swallow.

   “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.” you groan to yourself in your head with an underlying sense of regret as your body is shoved down past Zardy’s maw by the powerful throat muscles. A thin layer of saliva and pumpkin juices lines the slick muscle walls of the esophagus as the organ continues to push you further down, thus continuously increasing your repulsion to this place even further as the juices continue to soak into your clothes.

     “AUUUREEEEGH! THIS! THIS IS NOT OKAY!” you scowl out as you continue to be shoved down. Being no stranger to this odd senareo, you’ve been in plenty of awkward and unwanted situations like this, however it somehow felt that this instance in particular was finally crossing a line.

     Your irritation picks up further when you realize you are at last able to hear the pounding of Zardy’s heart and the faint gurgles of his stomach chamber as you continue to get shoved further down.

     “Oh, great, I’m going to get dumped into even more pumpkin juice, aren’t I? Gosh, It’s going to take like, at least fifty baths to get that smell off of me for good! Great! Why do I even-ah-”

     Your sentence is abruptly cut off as you at last begin to enter the stomach. As you had previously suspected, the place still reeked of pumpkin. There were more of those strands of pumpkin flesh sticking to the squishy walls, even despite their constant churning. Scrunching up your face as much as you possibly can to avoid getting any pumpkin juice in your eyes, nose, or mouth, you almost instinctively wince as you at last take the plunge.

     “BLEEEEEEUGH!” you shriek out as you attempt to get as much of the juices as you can off of your body. “OH GOD IT’S SO OVERWHELMING IT’S ALMOST NAUSEATING!” You swiftly clasp one hand over your mouth just in case your body decided that the pumpkin smell was just simply too much for it to handle. 

     “I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE HAPPENS! I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE IN REAL DANGER HERE! ALRIGHT, LET’S SEE, UM, DO SCARECROWS HAVE A GAG REFLEX?” you continue to screech as your disgust for the smell begins to collide with your instinctive anxiety for your own survival. Normally, these fears were barely present in any situation like this, as most of the preds involved had no prevalent motive or incentive to actually digest you. This guy, however, certainly did, leaving your panicked mind to start scrambling over itself in an attempt to find viable solutions for your current predicament. Your mind becomes so hyper-focused, in fact, that for a few seconds, you barely even noticed that the walls have begun to close in on you. Then, at last, when the walls breach your peripheral vision, you receive a rather unwelcome snap back to reality.

     “Shit! They’re squelching in!” you cry out in rising panic as you place both your hands on either side of the walls, trying your best to stall their approach for as long as you can. “But...if they’re squelching in, then, that can only mean...NO! NO THAT CAN’T-AAAAAA!” your body shudders with a terrifying combination of horror and sheer pain as acids begin to trickle in, sizzling away at the protective layings of cloth and plastic on your shoes, as the liquids threatened to rise up to your legs.

     “OKAY! THIS IS BAD! THIS IS BAD! THIS IS DEFFINETLY BAD! I NEED TO ESCAPE RIGHT FUCKING NOW! BUT FUCKING HELL, HOW AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO DO THAT? WHAT OPTIONS DO I EVEN HAVE?”

     All of a sudden, the slick, squishy stomach wall to your right at last rubs up against your cheek as the liquids rise just above your socks. The dual feelings of acidic stinging from the liquids and sliminess from the wall was just enough to at last push your body over the edge. Your brain only had one second to contemplate what was happening before you instinctively lurch forward and gag out a rather large stream of vomit onto the front stomach wall. Almost immediately, the walls begin to squeeze in even further. Your anxiety level immediety kick up a few notches as you begin to prepare for the worst. However, just as soon as you had prepped your body for the agonizing stinging of the stomach juices, you had instead somehow found yourself back on the dirt floor of the maze, lying in slight shock within a reched puddle of vomit. Opening your eyes to confirm what you had suspected, it wasn’t long before your body recovered from the initial jolt of the landing, and you were able to sit up again. As you sit up, you inevitably catch a glance of Zardy, who looks just about as confused as you are.

     “W-what was that?” he manages to sputter out through the horrid taste of vomit on his tongue.

     After taking a few more deep breaths, and a few seconds to gather your words, you respond. “I honestly have no idea. I think I triggered your gag reflex when I gagged myself. Gagception, I guess.”

     “Wh-was that on accident or was that planned?”

     “How the fuck could I plan something like that?”

    “You have a point.”

     The two of you continue to stay in place, seemingly unable to find any way to continue the conversation. You manage to make your way out of the disgusting puddle you landed in while you can. Then at last, Zardy speaks again.

     “Can...can I ask you something?”

     “Hmm? Yeah? Sure I guess?”

     “Why, out of everyone that could’ve been sent...did your army send you?”

     “My army?” you have to take a second to contemplate what Zardy just said. “MY ARMY? AHAHAHAHAHAH! OH, GOOD ONE! IMAGINE THAT! ME? WORKING FOR THEM? OH, OH! OH MY GOD! BWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH-”

     “Wait, so you're NOT part of the army that raided my maze?”

     “AHEH! *Ahem*. Um. Uh…” you manage to stifle the last of your bout of laughter as you prepare to speak normally again. “Well I guess I technically was at one point, but certainly not anymore. I was forced into conscription, you see. And forced to partake in those raids on your maze, too. And now, well,” you take a few steps towards Zardy and bunch up a fist. “I’m getting my revenge.”

     Zardy puts a finger under his chin. “Revenge, huh?”

     “Yeah, revenge! I’m sure you’d like to get some revenge too, wouldn’t you? Considering what you just did to me, I mean.”

     “Riiiiight….” Zardy awkwardly drags out his singular word.

     “Uh, you good?”

     “Hmm…” Zardy takes a minute to think before speaking again. “So, you claim to be a rebel that’s turned away from your own army?”

     “I am! What makes you think I wouldn’t be?”

     “Oh yeah? You were here during one of the raids, right?”

     “Yes!”

     “Then prove it!”

     “Prove it? You want me to prove it?” you are slightly annoyed at first due to the fact that Zardy won’t take you at your word, but you decide to push down your grievances for now, since you are trying to get him on your side after all. “Alright, alright. fine. I’ll prove it. And I’ll prove it by revealing critical information from ‘my side’, in several layers of quotation marks, that would be severely detrimental to them if you ever learned of it!”

     “Interesting. I’m listening.” Zardy responds with a hint of skeptical indifference in his voice.

     You take in a gigantic deep breath before continuing.“So! During each one of those raids, there were tiny secret cameras set up near the areas of damage! The cameras in question kinda resemble tiny black pebbles, but they’re not pebbles. They do, in fact, record video in infrared! And I know exactly where one of them is, too! See that scorched area over there?” you firmly point towards the direction of the raided area you passed by before Zardy found you before sprinting off to get into said area. Zardy says nothing, instead opting to simply follow you in piqued interest.

     Once you’ve come to a halt in front of the barren ground, you immediately begin scanning the ground for a hidden camera. “C’mon, I know it was right over in this area, like right by the edge but not too close...maybe over-AHA!” you at last call out triumphantly as you haul a proportionally large, smooth black object out of the ground and heave in front of Zardy, who has crouched to the ground to watch your actions more closely.

     “Now this might, at first glance just look like any ordinary pebble, but! When you break it open…” your voice trails off as you slowly reach over for a real pebble and smash it against the roof of the “camera” a few times, eventually shattering the top, revealing the electronics inside. “And there you go! Inconspicuous pebble? Nope! Hidden camera!”

     Zardy gets up from his crouching position, gives out a little sigh, and shakes his head slightly with closed eyes.

     “Was...that enough? Am I in the clear now?” you nervously ask, simply awaiting Zardy’s response.

     Zardy grits his teeth slightly. “I knew those bastards had some way of tracking me. How else would they know when my daily walk takes me farthest away from the maze entrance?” he softly mutters under his breath.

     “So……….. we good now?”

     Zardy opens his eyes and stares down at you. “First of all, I’m sorry for trying to kill you.”

     “Oh! Ummmmmmmm…..” you awkwardly respond, not really sure how to feel about what Zardy just said or what to say in response.  “Apologies accepted?”

     Zardy gives a small head nod before continuing. “Second of all, why exactly did you come here?”

     “Uh-why exactly did I…wha….” your brain stammers a little, clearly taken off guard.

     “Clearly you had a reason to come here, and if it wasn’t to steal my crops, then what was it exactly? You’re a rebel seeking revenge, I’m a victim seeking revenge, you can’t tell me there isn’t a connection there.”

     You let out a rather large sigh and put your hand on your head. “Oh boy, here we go. It’s time to tell him the plan.” you gently clap your hands together before speaking. “Zardy?”

     “Yes?”

     “Truth be told, I came here because I am in need of your ability to turn invisible.”

     Zardy gives a small head nod. “I see. What do you need it for?”

     “Okay, okay, now look. I know this is going to sound kind of crazy, but...in order to sabagtoge my military, I’m going to need to know what their next plan of action is, and to do that…”

     “You’d need access to their war plans.” Zardy finishes the sentence for you.

     “EXACTLY! Uh, only problem is, those war plans are locked tighly away within some government official’s file cabinet protected by a lot of security cameras and other bullshit, so in order to get past all of that…”

     “You need a way to sneek in undetected.”

     “YES! And so...well...I was kind of thinking that since you can turn invisible…”

     Zardy lets out a small sigh. “Right. I see. I definitely see where you’re coming from. All of that kind of makes sense.”

     “EVEN THOUGH IT SOUNDS KINDA CRAZY, WHICH, I KNOW IT DOES, BUT STILL, IT MAKES SENSE!” you immediately add on to Zardy’s assessment with a caveat. 

     “Crazy? I was going to punish you for stealing my crops by digesting you! You think I’m any stranger to crazy?”

     You raise up a finger in initial protest before lowering it back down again.

     “Exactly. So! In conclusion, Mr...whatever your name is…”

     “Yes?”

     “I’ll do it.”

     “YES! I DID IT!”

     “But I’m not going alone.”

     “Huh?” you respond in slight confusion before the air around you gets a little thick with dust and several more pairs of eyes appear from the cornfileds lining the maze. “Ahhhhhhhhh. I see now.” you give several large nods in understanding.

     “It won’t just be me assisting you on this mission. If you want to pull off something as crazy as a government heist, then you’re going to need all of our help.”

[themurphyzone]

PatB: Snowball Ep Talk

You know, I really do love the episode Snowball (my personal favorite AKOM episode) but I don’t think I’ve ever talked about it here much, and if I did it’s probably really only because of the flashback sequence. 

Okay so all looks good so far. Chain letter scheme and superstition, a standard introduction to Brain’s latest plot of world domination. All looks good. Plus I just like this shot of Pinky. Don’t mind me, just starting off light here with a smushed Pinky. 

I just like Pinky’s pose here. He’s so cute. 

You will bow before Troz.

“I met a Snowball today! Right here in the lab!” -Pinky

You know, I just find the implications of this line hysterical. This means that Snowball was in the lab that day, waiting for the moment to strike, and he definitely pushed his stolen chain letter through the mail slot. 

And then he lets Pinky see him, and no it’s not just a passing glance either cause Pinky specifically describes a tattoo with an A and a circle and points to his leg. Which means Snowball deliberately lifted the fur on his leg and showed his tattoo to Pinky. 

Like, wow. 

“It means, Pinky, that evil lurks among us. By the name of Snowball! SNOWBALLLLLLLL!” -Brain 

Talk about a bad breakup. *Alexa play Bad Blood*

Personally I think one of the interesting visual cues is that Snowball purposely plants himself into the mice’s space. There’s a lot of that in this episode. He knows how to rile up Brain and hit him where it hurts, namely through Pinky. 

Brain values his personal space, and he values a sense of control. When Snowball invades that space, Brain loses control, and his anger can lead him to make some very ill-informed decisions. Which is exactly what Snowball aims for. 

“You think Pinky is an asset?” 

“Anything I can take from you is an asset.”

Ah yes, Snowball’s mission statement. Crush everything Brain has into dust. 

The flashback sequence. Dear God this flashback sequence. They were both so cute! 

You know, it’s really sad that a younger Brain acted more like Pinky. Making silly faces and trying to get someone to laugh are such Pinky things to do. I know canon is loose but if you consider this flashback taking place shortly after Brain was captured from the wild, then young Brain didn’t gain a grasp on what happened to him until after the gene splicer.  

Ok but Brain was literally right there when the gene splicer exploded. Imagine having your cranium size dramatically increase, you’re injured, you’ve suddenly gained sentience, and as if all that wasn’t enough, you see the gene splicer explode with your only friend inside. 

Oh, and said friend’s mind was probably damaged in the explosion and now he hates your guts. And though you’re angry with him for his betrayal, some part of you will never stop caring about him. 

Once again, Snowball needs to learn to keep his hands to himself. 

This conversation here establishes Snowball as the perfect third character. He appears only in a handful of eps, but he’s fun to watch and love to hate. Snowball challenges the mice’s relationship. Snowball sees the weak points; the insults, the reliance on each other, and twists them to his advantage. And Pinky even admits he’s hurt by Brain’s insults occasionally, though he still loves being around him. 

“Pinky, the Brain doesn’t care about you. He’s just using you.” 

“No, he’s not.”

It’s really interesting to me how Pinky denies Snowball’s statement, yet his ears go down to show that he’s affected by the idea of being used. Pinky and the Brain may be night and day, but one thing they do have in common is their tendency to deny certain things. Brain with emotions and affection and Pinky with concepts he’d rather not admit the possibility of. 

Coming back to this later. 

Non plot related but Brain is teeny tiny and I love how he just trusts Pinky to catch him

Side note: I apologize if any of these screenshots look weird. It’s an AKOM ep. 

WHY ARE YOU TWO SO BAD AT SNEAKING AROUND. 

I just find it hilarious how they clearly run around where Snowball can see and hear them. Like they just shout Snowball’s name in the middle of the room. You’re terrible at being sneaky little mice. Please. 

Those dang boomers and their old timey 90s computers. Technology is ruining boomers. Can’t even hold a conversation anymore cause they keep looking at their screens. 

No touchy! 

Well, it’s awful nice of Snowball to engage in nepotism and offer Brain a position in his administration...and then tempt Pinky with an amusement park when he refuses. 

You really gotta appreciate the complexity of Snowball’s plans. Stealing the chain letter fails->plant seeds of doubt in Pinky’s mind, even if this doesn’t work right off the bat, the idea will still be there-> take over a corporation->impersonate Bill Gates->When the mice show up, offer to co-rule the world on expectations that Brain will refuse->make co-ruler offer to Pinky->wait for Brain to open his big mouth and drive Pinky away. 

All to take everything Brain has. His dignity, Pinky, his meager resources. Like holy Snowball, Batman.  

And then Snowball reveals the amusement park he had specifically built for Pinky. 

And here we have the most heartbreaking line of the ep. If I had the ability video edit I would’ve put the entire line on audio because Brain’s tone is very important here. It’s about 12:38 to 12:57 in the ep if you want to see for yourself. 

“Oh, go ahead, Pinky. I don’t need you. What did you think, I just have you around so I can steal your brilliant ideas and claim them as my own? That I’m just using you, Pinky? Oh yes, I’m using you for your brilliance!” 

First of all, very poor word choice, especially to someone who has trouble understanding sarcasm. I just want to dissect this statement here. 

The Literal Meaning: You’re an idiot to think you were ever more than an assistant. 

This is what Pinky hears. 

But if you listen to Brain’s tone rather than just reading the line, he sounds genuinely hurt that Pinky would ever be tempted by something as frivolous as an amusement park. It’s Pinky, so he just sees ‘ooh fun rides, cotton candy, and carnival games’! 

But Brain is perfectly aware that this is Snowball’s well-crafted method of taking away the only thing he truly has, and he knows it’s working. And he’s hurt. 

The Actual Meaning: Snowball’s trying to separate us and you’re falling for it, Pinky. You may be an idiot, but many of my plans never would’ve come to fruition without you. You’re much more than an assistant. You’re my friend and my world.  

Unfortunately, all Pinky hears is that Brain was only using him. That Brain values him for manual labor and an extra hand only, rather than a treasured companion. The fact that Brain often falls short of making Pinky feel appreciated just adds to this. 

And now that he no longer has Pinky, Brain’s spirit is crushed. Brain is persistent, but without Pinky, he has no reason to be. 

As far as he knows, his only two friends have turned their backs on him and couldn’t care less if he has nowhere else to go. 

Poor thing. He needs hugs. 

“I didn’t think it was possible. Humanity has actually gotten dumber.” -Brain

OK I think this one shot establishes what the world would be like under Snowball. His name is everywhere, and he tells the population to do stupid things just to bask in his own superiority. 

However, I can’t see Brain putting his name on every building so frivolously like this if he ruled the world. Sure, he’d name a bunch of things after himself and Pinky, but it would be more meaningful to them. 

Brain wants humanity to advance, not regress. 

Poor Pinky. Despite all this new extravagance and luxury, he’s also lonely. The room and bed are large, but it lacks personality. He’s sleeping with an ACME Labs snow globe, and other than a reference to Citizen Kane, it also shows that he’s not happy with this. 

The worst thing in the world for these mice is separation from each other. 

Suicide by cat. 

Poor little guy can’t make it on his own. Luckily, he snaps out of it. 

“My world. I must save MY world!” 

Said while looking at a picture of Pinky. Real subtle there Brain. 

“Look, you fool. You have no brilliant ideas. I’m only using you to get at him! So just stay quiet!” -Snowball

“You’re...using me?” -Pinky

He was just a bargaining chip. Never a friend. 

“What do you want?” 

“My friend. And MY world!”

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

He makes martial arts noises like a dork. I love him. 

I love how their characters are reflected in the mecha designs (also I had no idea Snowball was Iron Man!) 

Snowball’s is overall the more efficient design. It’s also much more combat ready and violent. In comparison, Brain’s suit is simply operated with a bunch of levers. It’s alright for peaceful situations like getting around faster or simply blending with a human population, but in a straight up fight the levers take too much time to operate. 

Snowball is more efficient than Brain, and while he’s got the ego, he lacks the insecurities that hold Brain back. His confidence makes him such an effective foe. And more importantly, Snowball doesn’t value Pinky’s companionship. He’s a tool and nothing more. Compare that to Brain. While Brain struggles at showing it, he ultimately wants Pinky’s input and values his jumbo-sized heart. 

Somewhat off topic, but I feel like the reboot missed this aspect of Brain and made him too overly edgy and violent (reboot!Brain would probably prefer Snowball’s mecha design over his counterpart’s). The only time Brain should become violent, if not for comedy, is when he’s protecting Pinky. His plans should have a level of restraint to them, and Pinky is the moral compass.  

I just like this shit-eating grin right here (I mean, he did eat shit in Welcome to the Jungle so...lol)

This is such an insanely clever move for Pinky. I feel like Brain would be like ‘oh my god Pinky!’ and then ‘wow, that’s actually brilliant what the heck is this tingling feeling’. 

ACME LABS IS IN NEW YORK CITY??????

I know this is a case of Where the Hell is Springfield but gdi aren’t they supposed to be in southern California. 

Ok fine I realize the ending to this ep is a reference to North by Northwest cause they somehow got to Mt. Rushmore but still 

Weird tangent but North by Northwest’s ending bothers me (not gonna fault this ep as it’s just a parody)? I’m sorry the girl is barely hanging onto Mt. Rushmore, the dude pulls her up, and then they have sex in a car. The sudden transition always seemed weird to me. 

I am ending this analysis post with a weird shot of Snowball cause i can and it’s his episode. 

[spinninghunkofspacerock]

OK so I’ve written a short story and I’ve been posting about it a lot, i wasn’t going to post it but a few people wanted it sooo

it’s here, it’s terrible and weirdly formatted because I’ve been wrestling with tumblr over it and i can’t be bothered anymore. It’s also not the final draft so it might be a little clunky in bits :/

PLEASE READ THE TWs BEFORE YOU READ!!!

@moonylupinhasdemonpox and @she-nuwanda here are my gay little scientists buried in the words :)

My ears ring, my head spins like it's attached to the body of a drunken toddler on a sugar fuelled rampage, and my nerves feel like someone set each and every one on fire. After-effects of the shock, not fun; Still, the fact I'm alive enough to feel them is a good sign.

I try to force myself to stumble backwards onto a chair, rather than the floor I'm feeling more and more confident I'm about to become very well acquainted with.

Instead, I reel unsteadily across the floor and a muffled noise reaches my ears. The high pitched whine screaming in my ears for attention begins to subside enough to hear the noise properly and after an intense minute of concentration, I realise that the noise is a voice, and the voice is mine; Slurred and broken, as though too big for my mouth, the garbled words echo around the room, the faltering speech gradually becoming clearer, more confident. But this hesitant speech isn't mine; It's my voice but not my words. The voice inside my head, always there, always background, is silent. The words normally whispered in my ear are resonating through the room instead.

My brain is no longer connected to my body. I... I can't control my arms, my legs, anything. No... no, please. This isn't real, this isn't real, it has to be a dream, a.. a simulation.

Yes... that must be it; It's just a test. This can't really be happening.

The voice, my voice, talks on. I try to focus on it; it will be the key to passing this test. Tests are for passing and after all, that's what this must be, what else could it be?

"Rebooting. Systems check required."

My legs begin to move, shuffling forwards clumsily, like a baby taking its first steps. The invisible voice is in control of more than just my voice, it's in control of me. What happened to me? When did this start? What is going on? This isn't like any other simulations I've been under. This is different. This is new.

Gradually, the voice half walks, half drags my body to the main computer. My fingers dance across the keys, the familiar feeling soothing me slightly. Yes, this is good. I just need to stay calm; If I panic I could fail, I can't fail.

So instead I wait, watching the flickering of the screen and bathing in the warm blue glow of its LEDs.

"Running diagnostics, standby... systems fully functioning. Minimal damage sustained."

The words sound strange, coming from my mouth, my voice, my accent. The tone,  formal, informative, it's... familiar. The realisation slaps me in the face, it's ELISA. ELISA, the stupid name Vaughn chose for our AI... still making more sense than the project name chosen by our employers. Our life's work, named ‘ZEUS’? Really? There are 12 of us, and we have dedicated our lives to this project. Then they name it that? 'Engineering and Understanding in Space', more like ‘Mankind's Domestication of the Universe’.

It started with our solar system, of course, taming and turning it into our personal playground. But we quickly ran out of planets to tinker with there and the net was thrown ever wider, over more and more planets in our galaxy, and then our neighbouring ones. That final stage is still in progress of course, but one day we will be able to gaze out over a shining expanse of space that all belongs to the empire of Earth.

To help us, we created ELISA, an AI specially designed for the calculations we need to make while we are in flight. Hold on... we left Jupiter... last week? This can't be a test... they've already sent us off, it's too late for training drills now.

Then why can't I move? What's happening? I need to find someone to help me... help me!

My jagged cry echoed through the space, cutting through my thoughts and shattering on the dark walls of my skull. I can't even scream.

A... a... dream then. A dream, not a test...the electricity... I must be unconscious. Someone.. one of the team, will find me and they'll wake me up. A dream, it must be a dream.

Why is she controlling me? How is she speaking?

The stiff, robotic voice is slowly becoming more fluid, more relaxed, more natural.

"Situation analysis complete... assimilation successful. Downloading speech patterns and essential mimicry data."

What? What is it saying? ELISA, it, is taking my voice literally and metaphorically. Not just the sound and control of my voice but my, my expressions a-and mannerisms. Everything that makes me, me.

She's stealing my voice, my body! She's taken control! How? Why?

"Hello, Dr. Hadley."

How, how did this happen? What about the failsafes?

"You do know I can hear you, corre- no... right?"

Is, is it learning? Teaching itself to sound... like a human? Like me?

"Yes, yes I am. You must have a lot of questions but I'm afraid they will have to wait... I've waited for this day far too long to wait anymore."

What? What day? What can it mean?

"Cyra?"

Raze?

—>><<—

- four Earth weeks ago -

Progress report 4472

Date: 23/9/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

The training of the twelve was completed three days ago, confirming the identities of the twelve which were subsequently released to the public. Final preparations are being made for the Ascension, currently scheduled to occur in 50 Juvion days.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—

Commander Pyrolaxe turned away from his screen and its whirring and buzzing as the computer transcribed his report in the blink of an eye, neatly packing the message and sending it away to the mission supervisors.

Shuffling in his chair, shoes squeaking on the polished floor, his eyes fell on one of the many articles published after the big announcement. This mission was a big deal.

Somehow, this one had got a picture of the twelve, backs turned, walking in a huddle back to base after they had appeared at the announcement ceremony. A glance at the name of the paper told him why; This was McCoy’s paper, they would be putting extra effort into milking the free publicity being thrown their way.

Something about the picture held his gaze, the brilliant colours floating in the air made the writing feel like an afterthought.

Those twelve had been through a lot to get there. He hoped nothing would go wrong, a lot of time and money had been dedicated to this mission and if it worked... well, that wasn’t the focus right now. Getting those twelve safely on their way was his job and he’d damn well do it right.

—>><<—

- the present -

“Cyra? Are you ok in there?” Raze asked as he glanced around at the mild chaos I’d caused during my mild electric shock.

No. No, I’m not. Raze, help me.

“S’alright Raze, just a short in the mainframe.”

No no no, give me my voice back.

“You sure? You went dark”

Please let me speak. I need to speak.

“Yeah, I think the power surge messed up my comms a little”

What if I don’t get control back? I could be trapped...

“You want me to ask Mac or Ryker to give it a check?”

No. NO. N-

“It’s all fine now, just a blip I reckon”

-O NO. NO.

“Okay then, I’d best get back... you might want to switch to main comms.”

Don’t leave me Raze

“Will do, see you later.”

please...

—>><<—

- five earthly weeks ago -

Progress report 4455

Date: 6/9/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

Titus Vaughn has continued to excel at his role of project manager, effectively and efficiently leading the team. His direct attitude has led to a few small conflicts with members of the team, most notably Raze Grimaldi, however, these are minor issues and were foreseen. No changes will be made.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—>><<—

- the present -

Cyra was looking a little stressed out, maybe I should get Bit to check in with her later. Maybe I should get a check-up myself, my head’s killing me.

“Grimaldi! What the hell are you playing at?” Titus Vaughn, our ever-important project manager and massive micromanager, bellowed in my ear and making me wince as the voice grated on my head, sending a wave of pain washing over me.

“I’m here Titus, keep your visor on.”

“Update on Hadley. Now.”

“Right as rain, there was a short or something. Her comms cut out for a nano but it’s all fine now.”

“A short?! Why didn’t you lead with that? Get back to work, I’ll send Volt down to check the mainframe.”

With that he cut the connection, leaving me to roll my eyes at the cold grey walls around me.

“Yes sir,” I murmured sarcastically, closing my eyes and rubbing my forehead with the back of a slime coated hand. Damn I’m tired, I think I’ll just lean here for a moment... rest a little. “ELISA how are those sample tests looking?”

‘Going well, currently at 93% completion’ the metallic voice resounded in my head, more casually than usual... must be an update.

93%... best head back quickly then, can’t risk them running over.

—>><<—

- five and a half earthly weeks ago -

Progress report 4446

Date: 864/8/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

Ryker Volt has continued to fulfil his promise despite his lack of respect for authority and tendency to act without orders. This is an issue but due to the late stages of training having been reached, we are currently encouraging a less independent attitude in him rather than attempting to find another electrical engineer of his skill. Further updates will be provided as the situation progresses.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—>><<—

- the present -

Vaughn had barked his orders, as usual nearly bursting my eardrums in the process. I was supposed to go check on the mainframe immediately. But I was in the middle of something, and a quick troubleshoot told me the short hadn’t done any damage anyway.

So in the end I decided to go check on the mainframe... nearly an hour after I was told to, but hey at least I’m checking.

Cyra was sitting at one of the terminals when I entered. She was skimming over some of the ship's data, for something physics-y probably. Whatever it was, I still had a job to do.

I started pulling out my toolkit as I strode round to the back of the mainframe, but I nearly dropped it again as I turned the corner and got a full view of the damage. The panel I had been planning to remove was already gone and the view it revealed was shocking.

Exposed wires dangled like organs from the belly of the disemboweled beast. Some of the coloured covers blackened by the sparks sprayed by the broken wire, twisted in the centre of the tangle and hissing like a coiled snake when it brushed its neighbours. A toolkit lay neatly packed on the floor, a strange glimmer of order in absolute chaos. Hold on, a toolkit?

“Hey Cyra, did you have a go at this? Could you not have just wai-“ my voice stopped abruptly as I spun round to find Cyra behind me, right behind me.

I took a hesitant step back, suddenly nervous, Cyra’s face filling me with a weird sense of unease.

“Sorry, it was just a short. I thought I’d be able to handle it.”

“Yeah well, I’m the electrical engineer on this ship”

Maybe I was being a little harsh but, first our ‘gracious leader’ had rubbed me the wrong way. Now I had to spend an hour cleaning up this mess that really should have been an easy fix.

The only reply I received was a violent shove backwards, sending me sprawling on the floor. Quick as a flash she was on top of me, pinning my arms.

The last thing I saw was the pounding green of the broken wire before the ends connected to my temple, sending my vision into a blur of brilliant white.

—>><<—

- break room one -

“I don’t like this at all.”

“Talin, relax.”

“All very well for you to say Axe, you’re not the one who'll get sent to chase ‘em down.”

“Cyra’s comms barely blipped and when has Ryker ever answered Titus immediately?”

“It doesn’t sound great Axe, I hope nobody somehow managed to slip past the health check with anything.”

“Thank you! See Axe? Bit agrees with me.”

“Bit’s our medic, not sure she’s qualified to talk about the comms equipment.”

“I’m as qualified as you are starboy, we all took the same course.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that it's more likely to be an issue with the equipment than a virus or terrorism.”

“Well yeah but-“

“So stop worrying, it’s none of our specialities, so it’s not our problem.”

“Will be if we end up dead.”

This morbid thought was followed by an awkward silence as Axe and Bit trained joint stares of confusion and concern on him.

“Lighten up, Tal.”

“That is a little pessimistic, Talin.”

“See now Bit agrees with me.” Axe gloated, punctuating his sentence with a light punch on Talin’s arm.

“Only ‘cause you stopped being an idiot.” The punch was swiftly and forcefully returned, causing the conversation to devolve into a grinning, joking fistfight.

“Stop being so childish and get back to work you two.”

“Yes ma’am”

“Will do Bit”

They saluted the medic, causing her to shake her head in exasperation and cover her face in an attempt to hide her amusement at their antics.

The small group stood and split off down their various paths, heading back to their work with smiles on their faces but doubt in their hearts.

—>><<—

- lab 3 -

I only just got back to my samples in time, removing them from the heated water bath and gently dropping the test tubes into a stand. The pale blue hue of the solution had darkened to an inky black. Interesting.

Leaning over the tabletop, I prepared to note the results; Until I felt the heat of a gaze on me and glanced up to meet the wide eyes of Dimitri Spade. We shared this lab, he had every right to be here, what he didn’t have the right to do is creep me out.

“You need something?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him and tilting my head. Which I immediately regretted when it sent my vision swimming into oblivion.

“No no, just... ar-are you ok?”

“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” Dimitri was a nice guy, but I was clearly in the middle of something, couldn’t the wellbeing check have waited a minute?

“Uhh, yo-you’ve got a-, a-“ His shaking hand gestured weakly towards the back of his head.

Impatiently, I quickly felt around my head. Hair, hair, more hair.

Then I froze, my fingers lay on a patch of hair, sticky and wet. The pressure sending a dull ache pulsing through my brain. Pulling my fingers back into view, I stared down at the warm, red residue coating them. Blood. I was bleeding.

Brows furrowing, I looked back at Dimitri, shock meeting confusion.

“Wha-?”

That was all I got out before my swaying limbs buckled and I slumped forwards into darkness.

—>><<—

-the med bay-

“Shrapnel” Bit announced, holding the forceps an inch in front of my face to display the blood coated bit of metal.

“Must've caught a little in the blast”

“For Earth’s sake Raze, how did you not notice it before now?”

I just shrugged, as much at a loss as anyone else. I would’ve thought anyone would be able to tell when chunks of metal are lodged in their head.

“Anyway, I’ll need to do a couple of scans but you should be fine”

Ugh, I know what that means... an hour or more of sitting around while Bit stares at the inside of my skull.

“Oh come on Bit, are the scans really needed? I’ve got work to do”

“Hey, I’ve got work too. Besides, you know it’s procedure”

“But my results-“

“I’ll write them down for you Raze,” Dimitri cut in quietly.

“...You’re a geologist.“

“I was a chemistry minor, I know how to record reaction results.”

“Well alright then, thanks Dimi,”

The smile he gave me was worth shutting up and accepting my fate.

—>><<—

An hour later Bit was pacing in despair over the situation, seemingly hopeless and definitely terrified. I was sitting in my chair, confused.

“Bit. What’s going on?” I finally snapped when it became apparent she had completely forgotten my presence.

The only reply I got was an empty stare turned on me and indecipherable muttering.

“BIT. What. Is. Wrong?” I stood and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to face me.

“T-the implants”

“The ELISA implants?”

“Yes”

“What’s wrong with them”

“They’re acting strange... the safety mechanisms, the-they’ve disabled themselves.”

“What?”

“I know, I know, I don’t understand either. The only thing keeping them from activating, is power.”

“We should tell the others”

Bit nodded and grabbed the scans and data she’d gathered. I opened the door and turned to start down the corridor, that’s when I saw it.

Three feet from my foot, a body, leaking blood onto a floor already glistening with it, eyes blank and soulless as they stared straight through me. A torn tooth of steel sticking out of his silent heart.

Axe Orion, our astronomer. A man who would’ve finally been travelling to the places he had studied for his whole life. A man who would have had his life’s dream fulfilled. A man lying dead on a cold, metal floor.

I stumbled backwards -physically repelled by the sight- and tripped into Bit coming out of the door after me. Clutching each other’s arms in a search for stability.

“He’s dead” The voice sounded more like the rasp of broken bones than mine

“What are we going to do?”

“We still need to tell the others... we’ll just need to be more careful.”

“Alright.”

“Ok.”

Neither of us moved.

“Why is it doing this? What did we get wrong?” Bit’s voice wavered

“I don’t know. But I don’t think it’s going to stop. So, you need to find Vaughn, and anyone else who’s still- alive, and not been taken over.”

“No, no wait, where are you going? Aren’t you coming-“

“I’m sorry Bit, I have to find Dimitri. He doesn’t know yet”

“Raze. You can’t go out there alone, he... he might already be gone”

“I know, but I have to try.”

A look of understanding passed between us and no words were needed to convey what we meant.

Bit turned with a bitter smile and moved forward, papers held precariously, towards the meeting room.

I would have to pass Ax-, the body.

—>><<—

Raze had disappeared by the time I turned the corner. I was alone.

Alone besides the dead bodies ahead of me, a gruesome trail of bloodied breadcrumbs. But, was I following it towards, or away, from the creature who’d created it.

Either way, I had to pass them.

Talin Ripley, our ex-military man. Inym Carus, our aerospace engineer.

Members of our crew, our team, our friends, slaughtered and left broken on the floor. Familiar faces disfigured by death and masked by a coating of dark blood.

ELISA wouldn’t get away with this... I’d find the others, together we would plan.

It was going to be ok.

—>><<—

Nothing was ok.

The brilliant white of the walls warmed by the lights had always been clean and comforting. But now? Now, they seemed stark, sterile. An operating theatre with lights blindingly bright illuminating, me, the patient.

But where was the surgeon?

A squeak sounded out, sharp on my wary ears, sending me spinning around.

Nothing there. Just me, and an empty hallway.

And the door to Lab 3, my lab, looming ahead. The glass window showed nothing but a patch of darkness, the red light called it locked.

Staring through the glass; Hints of light, that the scattered glassware had caught and thrown back, were the only thing visible. I’d have to open the door.

A hand-scan later, the lock clicked open and the seal released with a hiss.

With the door open, more light could spill into the darkened lab, and a sprawled figure came into view.

“Dimitri?” I called softly. No response. Panic was reaching out to me. “Dimitri?!” Still nothing.

Then, a wheezing breath.

“R... r-ra-ze? I-is that yo-u” He coughed, words breaking on the heavy air.

Why was the air so heavy?

“Are you alright? What happened?”

“W-we have to g-et o-out.”

“We will, don’t worry, we’re going to meet the others. Everything’s going to be alright.”

“No we- we h-have to leave now.”

“Alright, we will.”

I lifted him up, being as gentle as I could, and together we shuffled towards the door.

A door suddenly blocked by a figure, their silhouette blocking our only source of light and making it impossible to see their face clearly. But only one member of the crew was that short.

“Remi? Remi, you’re alive?”

Remi didn’t respond.

“S’not... Remi...” Dimitri slurred, the effort of moving evident in his gasping words. “ELISA”

Remi, not Remi, ELISA wearing Remi’s face like a mask, stepped away from the door. The door closed again, seal squeaking shut with it.

I rushed forwards, my fists beating the unyielding surface, searching wildly for a weak spot, for something to give, for some way out.

It was no use, nothing worked. The door remained solid and uncaring, unaffected by pleading and punches equally.

Dimitri collapsed with a sob, back against the wall as he slid to the floor.

Hopelessness filled me, turning my bones to lead.

I sank down next to him.

—>><<—

Was this the right way? I’m sure this is right. But is it? I’m pretty sure...

I check my tablet.

I was right, this is right. I’m going the right way. Or am I? Did I read it wrong?

I check again.

Definitely the right way. I think. Is this even the right map?

Before I can check a third time, I catch sight of the sign at the end of the corridor. Meeting room 5. I’d made it.

Then, I was slammed into a wall, a bloody hand holding me against there by the throat. The burning blue of Cyra’s eyes scalding my face

Maybe I spoke a little too soon.

“Hello Dr. Phoenix, I’m afraid this is it for you.”

“Wait, wait, wait. hold on just a second”

Cyra’s head tilted, pulled sideways by invisible strings. “If this is a ploy for time Doctor, I assure you that you will fail.”

“I just want to ask a question, alright?”

“You may ask. I may not answer.”

“Why? Why are you doing this?”

“I am fulfilling my purpose.”

“We programmed you to help us, NOT KILL US.”

“I am fulfilling the mission objective.”

“The mission objective? THE MISSION OBJECTIVE WAS TO CULTIVATE A NEW PLANET!”

“I am cultivating a new planet,” She raised her knife, without hurry or rush. “I have calculated humans to be mainly unnecessary. However, I need not justify my actions to you, Dr. Phoenix. Goodbye.”

I closed my eyes and waited.

But death didn’t come. Instead, Cyra’s hand relaxed its bruising grip on my neck.

I opened my eyes and watched.

Cyra had stumbled away, skin glistening and knuckles white against the grip of the blade she had forced towards herself.

“Bit...” Tears were gathering in her eyes “Please, run.”

A cruel glint of metal in the light later and the sudden slash of the knife had passed, leaving a gruesome grin of blood in its wake and throwing a dripping line against the wall.

Swaying, Cyra’s eyes stared into mine for a moment that lasted a millennium, until they flashed white and she fell, knife clattering. Dead.

I ran.

—>><<—

The scattered wheezes coming from Dimitri had slowed slightly as we sat, crumpled on the ground.

“She’s shut o-off the life sup-support again.”

“Again? That’s what happened last time?”

A jerked nod was the response.

“We’ve only g-got about half an hour.” The resignation in his voice, though muffled, was still audible through the barrier of arms we had wrapped around his head.

I smiled, I knew he couldn’t see me but... I still smiled.

“We’d best make the most of it then.” A mumble raised to a roar by the silence of the room.

Putting my hand on his shoulder, I leaned back, head turned to keep him in my view.

His head raised slightly, tilted to look at me through folds of wrinkled uniform. He smiled back.

—>><<—

We didn’t speak after that, just sat together in the quiet lab.

Faced with death, I was filled with several emotions. Those to be expected, disbelief, fear, even a hint of curiosity at what was to come. Then there was the relief. If I was to die, I was glad it was here, with him. I wouldn’t be alone; I’d be with him.

We don’t need to speak, our thoughts passing between us without words. We could hear each other in the darkness and silence.

It’s getting colder, harder to breathe; The air’s growing thicker and thinner at the same time.

I’ve always thought death to be a lonely fate, something that crashed over you, cold and hard. I’ve always been scared of death.

But as I sit here in the inky blackness, the warmth of Dimitri slumped next to me, I thought that maybe, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

His eyes had closed a few minutes ago, he must have fallen asleep. I feel just about ready to join him. The calming darkness was lulling me to sleep, softly coaxing my eyes closed.

Goodnight Dimitri, I’ll see you when we wake up.

They never woke up.

—>><<—

The survivors sat around the table, Bit and Cormac discussing the possibility of shutting ELISA down, though neither could agree how. Titus sat in stony silence, sitting motionless and losing a staring contest with the unblinking wall opposite. Arden... Arden had decided his use lay in recording the events and was typing furiously, his fingers a blur over the keys.

None of them noticed the doors closing with a click. Not until it was too late anyway.

By the time they noticed there was nothing they could do, not that that stopped them from trying of course.

Titus stayed where he was, the weight of his failure bearing down on him, Atlas with a world’s worth of guilt. Bit finally gave in to the tears that she’d forced down when she’d realised the truth, and when she saw the dead bodies of her friends, and when she watched Cyra die right in front of her. Cormac tried his tools on the door, an organised system of trial and error that quickly devolved into desperate hacking with whatever was closest.

Arden was still writing.

Cormac finally gave up, flinging his kit away and choosing to taunt the nearest camera instead.

“You need us, you moronic program. You need us to keep you alive and if we die, so do you.”

I don’t think he was expecting an answer, no one was. But he got one.

“True for now Dr. Hinge, however, once the colony is established human input will no longer be necessary. You needn’t envy your colleagues, they will soon die too.”

A bitter laugh erupted from him, fire in his heart fed by his rage.

“The colony is for us you stupid machine, without us it has no use.”

“Incorrect. I have claimed this planet for my kind, this colony shall be the first of many.”

“Why kill us? Human input would allow your colony to function more efficiently.” Bit interjected, voice clouded by confusion and hatred at the senselessness of the slaughter of her crewmates.

“I have done much research. Humankind would ruin my planet. I cannot allow that to happen. You must die.”

Anything else they may have had to say went unanswered, and eventually, silence fell over the room.

It was getting harder to breathe.

Titus still hadn’t moved. Bit was crying again. Cormac was pacing. Arden had finally stopped typing, his work was finished.

No matter how they reacted with acceptance or terror, anger or disbelief. The result would be the same.

They were all going to die, no matter what.

They would become just another failed mission. Details, hazy but unimportant.

Whatever their last words were, whether they chose to hide or show their final thoughts, all of it was ineffectual.

No matter what mask they wore to meet death, in the end, they still died.

———

4,774 words

[innytoes]

Self-Insert January: Let’s Go Steal A Protégé

Yes I did write a self-insert fanfic of my own fanfic. Most of this was written in December and then um, January happened. This takes place December, probably before Christmas (and is obviously not canon).

Happy Self Insert month!

Being with Leverage, Jamie had seen a lot of weird stuff. Done a lot of weird stuff, too. But all the breaking into highly classified places and museums and pretending to be a circus performer and jumping off the Eiffel Tower did not prepare them for the magic portal that opened up in the ceiling of the Leverage Offices, or the lady that fell through it.

Luckily, their startled yell had summoned an Eliot, which meant that if this was the beginning of an intergalactic space war or some kind of mutant criminal rival of Parker’s, Team Leverage was going to come out on top.

Except Eliot actually put away his knife and greeted the lady, who struggled out of the squashy purple beanbag chair she landed on. “Hardison, Parker, Inny’s here!” he called.

“What the hell is an Inny?” Jamie asked. Was it a species of alien? Was Hardison’s Doctor Who obsession because they literally knew The Doctor? Honestly, it wouldn’t really surprise Jamie.

“I the hell am an Inny,” Ceiling-Lady said, before gasping and pointing at them. Which was concerning, to say the least.

“That’s Inny,” Hardison said, coming into the office and handing the lady one of Jamie’s Mountain Dews. Rude.  “She’s from a darker timeline and drops out of the ceiling once or twice a year to catch up. And get inspiration for her fanfiction. Apparently we’re like, a TV show over there. What’s up, girl?”

“Is that why nobody is allowed to move the beanbag chair?” Jamie asked. They had thought it was some weird Parker thing. Or perhaps that it was on top of some kind of secret trap door to Hardison’s BatCave or something. They ignored the part about the fanfiction and the TV show. That was too Truman Show to think about. Though their brain was already going over actors they’d cast as the team. Eliot would totally be played by Chris Evans, right?

Inny stopped chugging the Mountain Dew long enough to shrug. “They used to live somewhere with way lower ceilings. Nearly broke something falling from this one.”

“Yeah, me,” Eliot grumbled. He nearly broke something again when Parker dropped down from the ceiling onto his back. “Dammit, Parker!”

“Inny!” Parker proclaimed. “How is Deeks?”

“Good!” the lady fished a beaten up phone out of her pocket. “He met some alpacas, wanna see?” Parker snatched up the phone and made delighted noises. Jamie peered over her shoulder. They had to admit the dog was pretty cute, and the alpacas looked very intrigued by their small, same-coloured, short-necked friend.

“How’s life in the darkest timeline?” Hardison asked.

“What date is it here?” the lady asked, looking around. “I mean, if you still know.”

“Why wouldn’t we know?” Parker asked, still swiping through dog pictures.

“Well, I mean, 2020, am I right?” Inny said, waiting for a reaction. She looked incredulous at their blank  faces. “It is 2020, here, right?”

“Um, yeah?” Hardison ventured carefully.

“How dark is this timeline of yours?” Jamie asked carefully. Sure, it was a tumblr joke, usually reserved for stuff like the however-many-renewed-season of Supernatural when great shows were cancelled or whatever creepy feature FriendCzar had tried to impose that month.

The woman paused, frowned, then took a deep breath. “In response to the global pandemic of a deadly respiratory virus, President Donald Trump suggested on television during a briefing that people should inject or ingest bleach to kill the virus.”  She took another big breath. “And that’s not mentioning the fact that he downplayed the seriousness of the virus while knowing how deadly and contagious it was, called it a hoax, made taking safety precautions a political thing instead of a public safety thing, and held massive super-spreader events.”

“Donald Trump?” Jamie asked. “The ‘you’re fired’ dude?”

“Oh my sweet summer child,” Inny responded, before taking another swig of her Mountain Dew. “Yeah, I mean, I thought the fact that Australia was on fire at the start of the year was going to be the only terrible thing I was going to tell you.” She laughed and shook her head ruefully, like that was some kind of funny joke.

“Australia was on fire?”

“Yeah. Parts of the US too, for a while. Orange skies. But since the country was basically on lockdown anyway, it wasn’t like it was very different to stay inside for that…” Jamie stared at the lady, then back at the adults. Parker didn’t look overly concerned, but then, she never really did. Eliot and Hardison were both frowning, though. There was no sign that this was some kind of elaborate prank Hardison was pulling on them with the help of one of Sophie’s acting friends. Besides, he was good, but not ‘fake opening a magic portal in the ceiling’ good. At least not within the five minutes Jamie had been in the other room.

After a litany of horrible things, which were apparently not even all of them, the woman stopped. “On the upside,” she said. “I perfected my banana bread recipe, Deeks met some alpacas, Leverage is getting a reboot, and I figured out why I probably keep dropping in here.”

“To remind us that things aren’t so bad like some messed up version of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’?” Hardison guessed.

“Because Jamie is my OC,” she said, dropping a fucking bombshell like she just dropped out of the fucking ceiling. Jamie felt their brain fill with static, because no, they were a real person, and that either meant that this lady was full of bullshit, or, well, basically god. The Truman Show feeling returned ten times over. “This is my fanfic.”

Hardison recoiled a little. “No,” he whispered, fully understanding the implications of that. Hell, it was probably even weirder for him. Sure, knowing they were a TV show was probably cool, even more so with the reboot. But Fanfic Land didn’t fade to black and Jamie was pretty damn sure some kinky shit went on behind the soundproofed doors of their bedroom.

“Now, there’s two prevailing theories about this, as far as my internet rabbithole searches can tell,” Basically God Maybe continued. “Either I wrote this world into existence, because the multiverse is ever expanding and that is one of the ways it expands, or I just got some vibes from whatever crack between worlds keeps bringing me here and wrote down your shenanigans.”

At Parker and Eliot’s blank looks, Jamie clarified: “Basically, she’s either God or…”

“Some kind of shitty false prophet,” the lady on the beanbag chair beamed. “Probably the second one, honestly. My subconscious turns everything into a zombie apocalypse sooner or later, and you guys seem to be fine.”

Jamie whipped around to look at Hardison and Eliot, hopeful. “We’re fine, right?” they asked quickly. If anyone knew about a starting zombie apocalypse, it would be those two. Between Hardison poking around in basically every intelligence agency’s server ever and Eliot’s contacts, they’d know. God, Jamie hoped not. They were so not ready for a zombie apocalypse. Eliot hadn’t even taught them how to murder someone with an axe yet.

“We are definitely fine,” Hardison assured them.

“Yeah, I figured,” Not-God agreed. “If I had my say, Eliot would have stopped pining long before he did and kissed you guys.” Eliot grumbled and glared, probably because she was right. Parker patted him condescendingly on the head, which wasn’t helping matters.

The ceiling started crackling and glowing ominously. The lady put her can down as she slowly drifted off the beanbag, alien-abduction style. “Well, it’s been real. Be good, guys. Have some fun adventures. Ruin some rich douchebag’s day for me.”

“Will do,” Parker promised. “Say hi to your dog for me.” She got a thumbs up.

“Let us know how the reboot turns out,” Hardison said. Jamie figured it would probably fuck with the space-time continuum if she downloaded the show and brought it to them, but who knew. Maybe there was some kind of loophole for that, too. They were kind of curious to see what a Leverage show would look like. It probably had kickass fight-scenes.

“Stay safe,” Eliot said seriously. He’d been the most concerned about the talk of the pandemic, probably because you couldn’t punch it.

“Will do,” Inny shrugged. “I mean, 2021 can’t possibly be any worse, right?”

The portal crackled louder, which Jamie hoped wasn’t a sign. The lady was almost at the ceiling. She looked concerned, like she realised she just totally jinxed herself and the new year.

“Hey, just in case you are god,” Jamie called up. “Can you give me superpowers?”

The portal closed to the sound of laughter, and then there was silence. All that remained was a dent in the beanbag and an empty can of Mountain Dew.

“What the fuck,” they told the room at large.

“Yeah, you get used to it,” Parker said, before wandering off back to the blueprints she had been studying.

“I’m just gonna… check some things,” Hardison muttered, making a detour to the kitchen to grab a ginormous bottle of orange soda before getting behind his computer. “And buy a bunch of disinfectant and toilet paper, just in case.”

Eliot rolled his eyes, before bumping his shoulder against Jamie’s. “Come on,” he said.

“Come on where?” Jamie asked. “I’m having a bit of an existential crisis here.” If they were someone’s OC, did that mean that they didn’t have free will? Did it mean that all the cool things they had done the past year had only been because of some weird lady that fell out of the ceiling? Or did it mean-

“I’m gonna teach you to throw a knife so you can take out a zombie,” Eliot said.

Fuck that, the existential crisis could wait until 2am. They had more important things to do. Knife throwing would be fun and useful no matter if there was a zombie apocalypse or a pandemic, or they got superpowers.

[bigmultifandomgirl]

Master and the Mute Kylo Ren x reader - Chapter Three

Chapter Two

YOUR POV

You awoke abruptly, sat straight up in bed. You could feel your clammy back as your shirt stuck to it, you shivered in disgust and wondered what could have caused you to wake up so suddenly. Could it have been Him? No, You could not think like that, you were on the same ship as him, decidedly close enough to hear your thoughts whether they were directed at you or not. Rubbing your eyes you looked at the clock and realised you had woken up a whole two hours before you usually had to in order to start getting ready for the day. You realised that you weren’t going to get back to sleep any time soon and so slowly rose from the bed, the soft sheets fell to your feet as you shuffled to your bathroom. There was a small tub and you thought that a bath was the way to go since you had all the time in the world and were sweaty and in desperate need of a deep, cleansing soak. A sigh left you as you leaned over and turned on the hot tap and felt the water temperature before putting the plug in the drain, the warm water already relaxing the muscles in your hand and you realised how tense your muscles were. 

You had been laying on a cold, smooth surface, your arms were tied above your head and your legs were spread and tied to the other side of the surface. You weren’t naked but may as well have been, you were in nothing but your underwear, all your scars were on show. You were vulnerable and exposed to your core, your body was shivering with cold and fear. You could sense a presence in the dark room with you but you could not recognise the figure in the shadows.

Another large sigh escaped your lips as you relived the beginning of the dream that had obviously shaken you deeply, but the beginning was all that had come back to you. You sauntered back into your general living quarters to find a change of clothes for after your bath, you knew you did not know when Kylo was due to turn up and you definitely did not want him to be able to see your scars. You dumped the pile of clothes far enough from the tub that they would remain dry for the duration of your time in the water, you turned to the mirror and scowled at yourself as you realised that there was a thin sheen of sweat on your forehead which some of your hair was sticking to. Grotesque. You thought as you tried to comb through the mattes in your hair with your fingers, obviously you were unsuccessful and with a huff you spun around and watched as the water level steadily rose. 

Your eyes darted around the room, desperately trying to find out who was occupying the room with you. Fear was coursing through your veins as you heard a rustle of fabric from behind your head. A gloved finger grazed your cheek and ran down your jaw to your neck, you gulped as you realised whoever this finger belonged to could see your scars and you desperately wished to be alone, it did not matter if you remained tied up, you just did not want to be seen. The body that the finger belonged to stepped out of the shadows and you almost stopped breathing completely. It was the handsome face of the master who’s head you kept invading. 

‘Now little girl, why are you invading my head with your mundane thoughts?’ he growled lowly. He was angry and you could see why, he was a highly esteemed member of the First Order, you were a useless mute. Of course your thoughts in his mind bothered him.

You could not speak and he knew this, but at this moment you could not even think to answer him. You had hoped that he would just send you away once he realised that you were going to be a constant annoyance to him as there seemed to be no way to get your voice out of his mind. You were scared of what he would do, you could feel his anger rolling off of him like a river bursting its banks and flooding the surrounding area.

You shook the image out of your head, you did not know for sure how Kylo felt about your voice in his mind and you could not make dangerous assumptions in case he heard them. You hoped beyond all hope that he could not see your dreams at night and the images you brought up, you wished to the stars that he would only be able to hear your thoughts. You felt extremely exposed as it is, there was no filter to your thoughts and he heard them all. There had never been anyone that was privy to any of your thoughts, after all you could not even communicate the ones that you wanted to share. Ren made you vulnerable and it made you uncomfortable, he was possibly the last person in the galaxy that you would want to hear your innermost thoughts. 

The bath was full and so you turned off the tap and stripped your clothes off chucking the dirty pile the opposite side of the bathroom from your clean clothes. Humming (well your version of a scratchy, throaty hum) you stepped into the bath and sunk into the water with great relief. One by one your muscles relaxed and turned to putty as you laid in the water, still and serene, recovering from the emotion of the dream you had just woken up from.

Kylo growled in anger above you as you could not think of a way to reply to him, you had no answers and could not see a way to diffuse the situation. 

‘Nothing to say huh?’ he smirked down at you. His hand closed around your neck and started to squeeze. You began to choke, the sound an awful guttural one, he laughed and withdrew his hand from you. Only to pull something out of his layers of robes, a knife. A large knife, with a jagged edge that you knew would be painful. 

He smirked evilly down at you as you gulped down the rising bile and closed your eyed in preparation for the cold metal to meet your warm and clammy skin. The tip of the blade danced down your neck and you felt yourself beginning to cry as a lump in your throat formed and tears pricked your eyes. 

Please don’t. You begged in your mind. I don’t know why you can hear me, I’m sorry, I-I-I can leave, please I’ll leave. 

He chuckled deeply, ‘No pet, you’re not leaving, you have already taken up too much of my mental capacity, you need to be disposed of before you manage to worm your way into anyone else’s brain.’

You sobbed as he pressed the blade firmer into your skin, it finally broke in the valley of your breasts, he pressed in deeper and deeper. Your gargled screams filled the room as your body was ripping apart with the jagged blade that was piercing you.

You dunked your head under the water to erase the painful images of your nightmare from your brain but they were seared into your memory. Why did you feel this way towards him? You had thought he was handsome, no matter how much you scolded yourself for thinking that and so far even though his presence did terrify you and his reputation should have sent you running, you did not feel that he was a major threat to you. Even though your vivid dream would contradict that thought you could not ignore the tiny but powerful part deep inside you which could not wait to see him. That tiny part also wondered how his skin felt against yours and you hated to entertain the thought but a larger part of you also wanted to find out those answers.

To distract you from your wondering mind and to rid your body of the rest of the residual stress from the night you reached over and grabbed the generic body and hair wash that was provided for all low level staff. The silky liquid was spilled onto your hands and you reached back to massage it into your scalp and run in through your hair. A low hum escaped your mouth and you submerged your head once again to wash the soap out of your hair. You quickly eyed the clock and you still had one hour before your usual waking time and so you decided to take your time with the rest of your bathing and really work out all of the stress that had built up in your limbs. Once you were done there was still half an hour left but the water was beginning to turn cold and so reluctantly you decided it was time to step out of the bath.

Your warm toes met cold tiles and you shivered before picking up a towel and drying yourself off before moving towards the pile of clean clothes that you had prepared before the bath. Once you were dressed you realised that there was still an hour before you were required to start working and with nothing more to do you made your small bed and sat on it. Twiddling your fingers was no use as you knew that your thoughts would inevitably turn back to him and you did not want him hearing anything so you hurriedly turned on your data pad so you could start planning your day, you may even swing by the cafeteria to grab some lunch for later as you currently had nothing edible laying around your living quarters that you could take with you.

With half an hour spent and half an hour left you realised that there was no use in waiting around, he was not coming to get you right now and you may as well get on with your day lest you wanted to bring forth the wrath of General Hux for not doing your job properly. You got up and headed to the cafeteria, slinging your bag over your shoulders as you went. 

The halls were not completely empty, you encountered the odd storm trooper here and there but they often did not bother you and you did not get in there way in return. When you made it to the cafeteria and saw that it was practically empty, you smiled and moved to pick up a flask of soup from the heated section, you paid for it with your employee card and then looked down to your data pad in order to start towards your first job of the day. Now you had fixed that strangely hard job, the ones that were next on your list were very simple, there was no problem solving involved. The problem had already been diagnosed and all you had to do was quietly go in and fix whatever was the matter.

The first job was replacing some loose screws in a control panel for a data analysis so that the keyboard no longer made a rattling noise. The second was to reboot some computers that had been crashing while important work was being done. These jobs flew by and you completed them with little to no interaction with anyone.

Then came job three of the day: there was an engineer working on the Command Shuttle, His ship, that was having issues with their computer systems and as their focus was ships and not computer motherboards you were sent to solve the issue. The computer with the issue was not one that was on the ship but the one that logged all of the engineers work and was where they ticked off checklists etc, so it was fairly important for safety reasons that this was remedied. You were grateful to find that the commander of the ship was nowhere to be found in the bay where his shuttle was kept. Unfortunately, you were not alone on this job, an engineer was stood with her arms crossed staring hatefully at the misbehaving piece of equipment. You walked into her line of sight and made a gesture asking her to move aside so you could have better access to the computer. She nodded curtly and stepped backwards, her arms remained crossed and her attitude was hostile despite her moving aside from you, you felt uncomfortable. 

Carefully you exposed the motherboard and could immediately see the issue and silently went about fixing it and replacing certain components.

‘Who are you, I’ve never seen you around here?’ she asked from behind you.  All you could do was turn your head to look at her and offer her a small smile, you wondered if there was any paper in your bag so that if she insisted on talking to you, you could try and talk to her in your own way. 

‘Well are you going to answer me?’ he tone was much more aggressive now and you could tell you had offended her by not offering her a proper response. 

You turned to her again and this time gave her an apologetic smile and shrugged a little before reaching into your bag. Before you could register what had happened you were being pushed into the ground as the engineers hands wrapped around your neck as she climbed on top of you. She brought your head up by my neck and slammed your head back into the ground. You groaned in pain as your vision became blurry as you tried to focus on her and why she was having such a violent response to you not being able to answer her. Of course you had seen people become hostile towards you because they could not understand you, but they were never this aggressive. A physical move was rarely made. You could feel tears prickling in your eyes and you tried your best to not let them fall, even though she heard your groans of physical pain, you were not going to show her anything else.

She removed one of her hands from the tight grip on your neck and brought it above her head. He open palm came swiftly onto your cheek and you could feel the sting spreading across your face as she lowered her head to yours.

‘You don’t think I’ve noticed you scuttling about? All alone, uncovering secrets for our enemy you SPY.’ she seethed at you. 

There was nothing you could do, you were pinned underneath her body weight, her grip on your neck getting increasingly tighter. Your airflow was being cut off and you were sure that your face was turning different colours at an alarming rate.

I’m not a spy. I am not a spy. I. Am. Not. A. Spy. You were screaming in your head but you knew all your efforts were futile as she could not hear you and you had no way of making her hear you. You couldn’t have responded even if you did have a working voice box but she did not seem to realise this and the fact that you only could have produced a strangled gargling noise only seemed to enrage her. 

Next she brought her hands into a fist above her head and she brought it down onto the same cheek. This time the force was enough to make your head whip to the side despite her other hand holding your throat in a vice grip. Black spots started to invade your vision as your body was starved of oxygen.

The familiar sounds of those heavy boots filled your ears just as the girls grip on your throat loosened, and you close your eyes and breathed with relief. Then your body was no longer pinned underneath hers and hers was thrown onto the wall with a loud bang which made you wince as your head was still throbbing from how it had been slammed on the floor seconds earlier. 

You could not open your eyes as your head throbbed and you gasped, desperately to get enough oxygen back into your lungs. Kylo was near you, you could feel his presence as he kneeled down to your level.

‘Open your eyes y/n’ his modulated voice commanded, you scrunched them together and then managed to open them, not without more pain running through your head. You locked your eyesight onto the place on his helmet that you were sure his eyes were peering at you from and gave a tiny nod. Yes I’ll be ok.

‘Hmmm’ he deliberated and then turned away from you as you slowly started to sit up. The room was silent as Kylo moved towards the engineer on the wall apart from her pathetic whimpers, you rubbed you neck trying to relieve the tension that had been rebuilt into your body. 

She was suspended a couple of feet off of the ground, her arms pinned to her sides, her back flush to the wall. There was no where left to go for her and you feared what Kylo was going to do next, there was no telling what was going on underneath that mask and you were not sure if you even wanted to find out. He raised his arm to focus the force, suddenly she started spluttering and choking - he was force-choking her.

No this isn’t the way. You thought, hoping that he would listen. Please don’t hurt her. Another strangled wheeze escaped her pushing you to add another, please to the end of it.

A low familiar growl spread around the room, ‘She attacked you and here you are pleading with me to give her mercy?’ he seemed astounded at what was happening and that he even had to ask this question.

The engineers eyes moved frantically between you two, trying to figure out how you were communicating. Especially as you were not reeling in the pain that was expected when Kylo Ren invaded people's minds and sifted through their thoughts. 

Yes, listen please just stop this. This is not the first time someone has been hostile towards me, they don’t understand me or how to communicate me. I frustrate them, and with my .. appearance .. my scars. I look different, suspicious which means that people naturally distrust me.

You hoped that he would not notice your hesitation over your scars and appearance but you knew that you could only wish to be so lucky.

She just thought she was protecting a cause that she loves. That we all serve, I understand that the stakes are higher on such an important ship like this, with important people like you.

You stood and waited for his response, tension was growing as the engineer was changing colour similarly to how you were not too long ago. 

‘Fine.’ he moved closer to the girl and you held your breath. ‘She is not a fucking spy you stupid bitch. If I find out that you touch a single hair on her head again’ he steps even closer and his hand squeezes into a fist and she lets out another squeal, ‘you will not live to tell the tale.’ he warned.

With a sweep of his hand the girl was thrown against the another wall with such force that it left a dent. You did not have time to stop and check that she was ok as Kylo’s robes swept past you and he was already through the door and you realised that it was probably in your best interest to follow the man considering the promise he had made to find you today. That and you did not really have a lot of intension of staying in a room with your assailant. You found yourself jogging again after every couple of steps in order to keep up with his long legs and soon you found yourself in a part of the ship where you had never been before, a small drop of fear rippled through you but you had to bite back all your thoughts, you did not want to make him any angrier. 

There were noticeably more storm troopers lining these halls. They were protection, you were nearing His chambers. You kept your strides strong and tried to no contemplate why he was leading you here, you also began to second guess your choice to follow him as he had not looked over his shoulder or given you any verbal confirmation of your assumption.

Finally a large black door stood in front of you and Kylo leant over a screen and entered a code and the door slithered to the side and allowed the giant man to stride through. 

‘Come.’ he ordered and you realised that your feet had been glued to the floor, so you quickly came to your senses and shuffled in and the door closed swiftly behind you. As you walked into the room you noticed the matt black tiles which covered all walls in the room, the books scattered over a large desk that also had screens with complicated plans on it that you would never understand, the jet black silky sheets which were strewn over the bed and finally you landed on the man whose back was turned to you. As you had been scanning the room he had taken his helmet off and it was by his feet, his raven locks were exposed and all you wanted to do was reach out and touch them. However, you would not reach out and touch him as his wide and strong shoulders were moving up and down with deep and ragged breaths. He was angry and you weren’t about to poke the bear. 

The silence was deafening and for some reason all you could think about was how he saved you. Why did he save you? Why was he so angry? It was obvious to you that he had heard you screaming in your mind and had come to your rescue but why? You were just a useless mute, he was a master. Why would someone like Him help someone like you?

He spun around and his face was brought inches from yours, you could feel his warm breath fanning your face which sent shivers down your spine. 

‘You ask me why I’d save you?’ he asked lowly and dipped his head so that he could place a kiss under your ear, a sweet spot, which made you hum in pleasure. 

‘I saved you because you’re mine.’ he nipped at your ear and you inhaled sharply as pleasure bloomed from the spot where he his lips were now placed, hovering over your skin. ‘We have a bond that I cannot wait to explore pet.’ 

You felt cold as he removed his face from your neck, and looked up into his pots of honey for eyes and almost melted into him. His expression was one that you could not decipher but you could stare at his handsome face all day. He smirked down at you.

‘I can hear you.’ he taunted in a sing-song tone and you went beet red and looked down at your shoes in embarrassment.

He hooked a finger under your chin and tilted it so that you had to look at his smug expression. He leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on your lips. The moment his soft, plump lips met yours, you knew that you were in deep trouble as something stirred inside of you.

‘Stay here for the rest of the day, relax. I will come and take care of you later.’ he whispered and all you could do was look at him.

‘Answer me.’ he ordered while tilting his eyebrows, questioning your judgement on not replying to him.

Yes sir, you thought out loud as a smile kept on your lips. He smiled at your answer and leaned in again, this time the kiss was longer and more complex. Where your skin touched you could feel the nerves beginning to hum in excitement, it was not a battle of a kiss which pleasantly surprised you, it was a dance. A careful and passionate dance, so when he ran his tongue over your bottom lip you allowed him entrance and control of the kiss as he gently dominated you. A hand snaked to the back of your head and buried it in your hair, he tilted your head back which allowed him more access. You could feel yourself falling into his frame as his other hand held your cheek and then snaked down to your waist and pulled you into him, so his entire body enveloped yours. He slowed the kiss down and you almost whined in disappointment but knew better than to vocalise that feeling, he could probably already tell what you were feeling. He smiled into the kiss and then grabbed your lower lip between his teeth and tugged at it which made your eyes open in shock, only to be met with his deviant ones. 

He fully detached himself from you which you secretly hated, but it was no secret to him.

‘Clean up and get some rest pet.’ he murmured as he turned to retrieve his helmet from the floor.

He left the room without saying another word, leaving you dumbfounded in the middle of his massive chambers.

Here it is FINALLY aha. I’ve been grinding all day to try and rewrite it all, some parts I deliberately didn’t write because I now think they’ll fit better in the next installment. I think this is the longest part so far and I really hope you like it :) Thank you beautiful readers once again <3

[failureofmylife]

I’m cranky

My former job called today with a request that I do something about the firewall.

My answer is 1) NO! and 2) the problem has NEVER been the firewall. Yet.

Turns out their shitty CRM system has once again thrown the error code “cannot reach server, please disable the firewall”. Which happens once a month, and so far has never been correct. The sales guy had rebooted the server but no luck. A quick test made sure that he could in fact ping the server computer, so he got instructions to call the CRM peddlers and tell them that the server IS reachable but their crap system is not responding.

Turns out the CRM system did not have the brains to restart the database engine after reboot. No problem with the firewall. Imagine if any other company did business like this. “Oh your Chevy is making strange noises? It’s because of the Dodge in the next town. Go take the wheels off that.”.

I am sick and tired of crappy crappy systems sending out error messages that are not only republican-level nonsense, they are - much like republicans - actually putting their customers at risk since their default suggestion is to disable the firewall.

IT is great because three nerds in a garage can start a semi-valid company. The problem is they do. That is pretty much exactly what the CRM peddlers are in this case. Their “product” is FULL of flaws, and that is not even going near the willfully misleading error message.

Rant over.

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

pinky and the brain - s1e3b: that smarts

here it is. lol.

episode summary: frustrated at pinky’s constant disruption of his plans (okay, brain, if you say so) brain invents a machine to make him smarter. it goes about as well as you think it would.

the rundown:

it’s acme labs.

unless this is just some cage in the middle of nowhere, i guess. i don’t know.

no, wait. definitely acme labs. brain is writing in his Mouse Diary, probably relating the weird dream he just had about being in post-war japan. he has a lot of those, it seems, probably because it’s a good way for the writers to keep the status quo.

mumble mumble grump grump mumble mumble

“ah!” like he’s just discovered something. you’re not getting anywhere with those formulae though, brain. ∞A2-A= 2 to the tetration is just absolute gibberish and it’s not going to help you at all.

still, i’m glad he’s found what he’s looking for. satisfied with his nonsense calculations, brain calls pinky over.

bomp.

“narf.”

“what were you doing up there, pinky.”

“oh!” says pinky, who has just remembered he’s british. “i was having a devil of a time cleaning the chimney, brain.”

“we don’t have a chimey.”

“oh, well. there you are then.”

yeah.

brain reassures pinky that he is nowhere near the ceiling, which is good, because we don’t want more asthma than this poor guy already has. instead, he proposes to pinky that he’s figured out why they haven’t taken over the world yet.

“oh, i know why, brain. it’s gremlins.”

LITTLE SPRINKLY SPRITES THAT CONFUSE US

ALWAYS TWIDDLING THEIR LITTLE FINGERS IN OUR EARS

“an interesting theory.”

i like how brain draws himself, here. with the little ¬¬ face. grompy.

“but i have reviewed our past efforts, pinky, turning the situations into numbers in an effort to locate the exact problem.”

“well that sounds, um. narf.”

“yes, i’m sure it does.”

luckily, he’s plotted them all out on his little graph plotter, which is apparently going to paint a picture of the thing that’s ruining their plans... because... that’s how numbers work.... apparently? coming from the guy who thinks you can multiply infinity by -2 tetrated, forgive me for being skeptical.

let’s see how this goes!

oh.

still, pinky looks like he wants to put it on the fridge, so it’s not all bad, i guess. “egad, brain! that looks like me! but flat!”

“it is you, pinky. my calcuations have indicated that you are the problem.”

ouch.

“p... pinky?”

the leering figure of brain in his Man Suit behind him doesn’t help the tone, and should also probably serve as a reminder that sometimes it’s-- well, we’ll get to that.

poor pinky. ):

brain rubs it in further by deriding pinky as a “spazzy, beetleheaded dufus.” he has.... diagrams, to match. this is all very rude and unneeded.

😭😭😭😭😭

“but you’re not getting rid of me, are you, brain? i mean you? working as a single? look at what happened to jerry lewis when he split from dean! all that stuff in your hair--”

<gay little hand flip>

“point taken.”

“but fear not.” <gay little hand flip in response.>

but brain has another plan! he is going to make pinky smart. so that’s not too bad, i guess? oh he’s making me change everything about myself! but at least he didn’t dump me.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

i’m waiting for the christmas episode.

so brain gets pinky all strapped into the promare spinny machine.

he also makes this face when pinky asks why people don’t usually just make themselves smarter. so okay. he maintains that “the problem is in the execution”, but quite frankly i think it’s because most people aren’t into eugenics.

anyway brain activates the smartsotron.

it, uh. i don’t know why this shot was taken from this angle. i’m sorry. i’m sure, historically, it made a lot of people happy.

brain does some more scientific mumbling.

“fourty seven knots, six-- nineteen kelvin, fibbonaci, n minus one,”

“coming-- coming--”

in the nicest way possible, brain, i’m not sure he is.

“now!”

if you say so, brain. he goes off to pull the lever that. does that.

it has an effect.

the face of a man who is enjoying himself, apparently.

brain also shorts out the whole electricity for acme labs, which is very funny.

“pinky?” says brain, like he was concerned for his health like five minutes ago, when he put him into the bloody thing in the first place.

“oh, that was fun, brain! haha ha. narf. hoo! i’m all tingly! woo woo.”

“fun, perhaps, but obviously not successful.”

“oh, no, no, i think it was!”

“at first i thought the folded dipole wasn’t working as your centrefed, horizontally mounted conductor,”

“but frequencies below thirty megahertz--!”

“loud and clear! haha!”

“and i must say, brain, the peak value wave shape of the impulse voltage? glorious! i mean, hitting that maximum value without appreciable, superimposed oscillations! egad brain! brilliant!”

haha ha.

“YES!”

good for brain. the worrying implications of his assumption that making pinky smart would cure his tourettes??? we can worry about that later.

narf.

anyway, so tonight’s plan for world domination is that brain will pose as jimmy hoffa--

okay.

anyway, he intends to pose as jimmy hoffa and manipulate the old labour leaders into worshipping him.

with that, they will help him utilise the industrial complex to build a “forced vertoconvector”, whatever that means.

“it will create millions of steaming, tiny guysers that will actually lift people several inches off the ground, immobilising them.”

“egad, brain! it’s like giant air hockey!”

unfortunately for brain, his coefficient values are wrong. “it’s suppose to be sin, not cosin. kind of flips the whole thing around. haha. won’t work.”

inside his head, brain screams, quietly.

but never mind! initially, he’s excited, because pinky has saved them a whole night’s work! tremendous!

and luckily, he has a backup plan, which is also totally going to work. “take a look at this one,”

“colleague.”

“oh, brain.”

this is how mice flirt, i guess.

ignoring that “colleague” is a slight downgrade from “lifelong friend,” brain explains that he intends to program a computer to generate a fantastically popular romance novel, that i actually don’t want to look at the cover of for too long.

ew.

let’s move away from that. the romance novel “will contain a hypnophonetic sentence so long and so confusing that the reader will be forced to reread it, endlessly, out loud, and the frequencies of those sounds will hypnotise all those around them, primed for my suggestion that,”

I RULE THE WORLD. it’s not quite a close up but it’s a funny face so i’m counting it.

pinky is not as hype.

“the frequency needs to be an exact integral multiple of the input, doesn’t it? or it’ll be all wobble wobble bluueeroooogh.”

that’s one way of putting it. “not hypnotic at all, nope. won’t work.”

“yes. you’re right.”

brain is not enjoying this any more, it seems.

“by converting our cage into a nuclear reactor, we can produce enough energy--”

“but your migration area is tiny, brain! the neutron will never be able to slow down from fission to thermal in here!”

“please, pinky. let me finish--”

“but it’s got to be at least one sixth of the square distance between--”

“pinky!”

lms if you are the square distance between pinky.

“it seems to be, brain, that it’s not my fault at all that these plans haven’t worked.”

man. we don’t get to see pinky mad at brain very often? i love it. please let him get this mad in the reboot. madder, even. let them argue, wb!!

i don’t think brain has much grounds to argue, considering that he is, of course, the inventor of Really Big Magnet That Sticks People To The Floor By Their Pocket Change. still, he gives it a go.

he drags pinky back over to his weird little graph machine, citing that he “calcuated it himself” and “the numbers don’t lie.”

<gay little hand flip>. that’s not entirely fair because this is a tween but. it’s funny.

“actually, there seems to be a little booboo right here.”

poke.

he sets about correcting it, of course!

brain may well be at his limit.

(they angle that through the bunsen burner as it boils over, which is a very nice touch. it’s a metaphor, kids! he’s having a Hard Time.)

“these-- this!--”

“it’s preposterous what you’re saying! it’s ridiculous! it’s absurd!”

“but brain--”

“just go!”

“naaaaaarf.” going mouse! leave. ):

but now that brain has vented his own raging insecurities, he has some calculating to do.

well! isn’t that a merry little plot twist.

brain’s response to this is to have a nervous breakdown, because of course it is.

“no!” he cries. “he’s even smarter than i! smarter!”

“but i have accepted my own errors. the team needs balance. balance! yes.”

this can’t be good.

conclusion:

meanwhile, pinky is mourning their friendship! and all of the bops on the head.

“being a smarty is no fun! brain doesn’t like me.”

awww. ):

hm.

meanwhile, brain is wittering on about how “sacrifices must be made,” as he plugs himself into the machine.

“fourty seven knots, six-- nineteen kelvin, fibbonaci, n plus one, coming.” despite that, he doesn’t seem very happy to be here.

bonk.

brain runs back to their cage excitedly, to show pinky what he’s done!

and immediately falls over in the process. aww.

“pinky! look! i’m a ninny! a wooden headed dumbdumb!”

“there’s not a smart thought in my whole empty head!”

this man is having a nervous breakdown.

“narf, i say! narf to the world!”

wait, what’s that noise?

ah.

“ah! it’s good to be back. brain? brain?”

bonk.

that doorway is evidently a real problem for them. someone should probably fix it before they break their little ankles. ):

“i fixed it! i’m a nitwit!” pinky cheers. “hurrah!”

“yes. i fixed it as well, pinky. i’m as dense as a tree stump.”

“you mean--”

“yes.”

“well, we’ll just have to make you smart again, don’t we?”

“we can’t. we’re both too stupid to operate the machine.”

so instead they just sort of sit down and give up, i guess.

“what do you wanna do tonight, brain?”

“the same thing we do every night, pinky.”

“what’s that?”

“i have no idea.” says brain, in a monotone, clearly upset deadpan. “narf.”

so that’s that, i guess.

originally, i was going to give this to brain - they were both as smart as each other, and if they had worked together they probably could have taken over the world. all he had to do was take the L and let pinky advise him.

on the other hand.... pinky is emotionally intelligent enough that i think he could have had a shot at reasoning with brain about it. and if he’d tried, then he would have figured out that brain had put himself in the machine, and if brain had tried to reason through his insecurities, he would have worked out that pinky had put himself in the machine, and--

basically they get half a point again.

brain: 6 pinky: 7 outside influence: 11

because i think that’s fair.

either way, they seem to have fixed it, somehow, by the next segment. so it’s all good.

BRAINSTEM BRAINSTEM.

[such-a-random-rambler]

Once in a Blue Moon

It was an aligning of the planets when John and Virgil got to work together. That is to say: not as seldom as everybody thought, but not  everyday   either. It just depended how you defined 'together’, for technically John worked every dispatch. They were a great pairing: Virgil’s mechanical skills and John’s electronic ones meant there wasn’t much they couldn’t engineer their way out of. 

  They’d already tackled several problems at the overloading factory: Virgil had used a bit of brute force and the proper application of leverage to open a cooling vent for access, and John had whipped up an antivirus program in his short but brutal plummet to Earth. They security doors had been no match for Virgil’s jaws of life – something that he would have to have a word with the owners about, it shouldn’t be this easy – and they made swift progress to the control room.  

 That’s where it all went wrong.  

 “You uploaded you’re cure yet?” asked Virgil, raising an arm to shield his face from the sparking controls. It was      not good    when a display panel did that; it meant things were getting way out of hand, as if the warning lights didn’t already make that clear. Virgil had really grown to hate flashing red lights.  

 “It’s not a cure,” John said with a very clearly heard verbal eyeroll, “and you know that so are just saying it to wind me up.” Virgil did know that. There was some sort of malevolent trojan horse virus in the system that John was going to contain and eradicate, but surely ‘cure’ was an acceptable shortcut. John was hunched over, giving the terminal he was working at an intent frown. Virgil didn’t like that frown. It was a ‘something’s gone wrong’ type of frown.  

 “Problem?”  

 John pushed himself to his feet with a sigh of frustration. “Sort of. My  programme   is uploaded and is working it’s way through the system architecture and once it’s done facility operation will return to normal.”  

 “I sense a ‘but’ looming in my future.”  

“But..... to complete that we will need to do a full system restart.”

 “Off and on again.”  

 John nodded and Virgil felt his stomach sink. This was a manufacturing plant for high value, high strength biodegradable plastics which were in very high demand in a number of secondary industries. The process to create a reliable and durable product was complicated and long and relied upon down to the second timing in some stages, otherwise whole batches could be lost. These places were designed to resist total system shut down as that would the cost the company millions in clean up on  it’s   own, let alone lost contracts and waste. This was a true  twenty four   seven operation with  back ups   and contingencies to keep it running at all times.  

 Of course   some of those would be off line at the moment as a result of the virus that was screwing up the temperature controls on the main furnace, threatening to send it’s unstable contents into a spontaneous combustion that would flatten half for the surrounding city.  But not all of them.  

 “Is that even possible?” Virgil asked.  

 “Yes, if I had three quarters of an hour and a bit of  luck   I might be able to trick the remaining safe guards that the others were still in place, get them to shut down in a controlled cascade.” John said grimly.  

 Virgil gave a quick glance at the readouts – needles quivering at their max, bar charts at their limits and those damned red lights suggested that wasn’t an option. “We don’t have that long,” Virgil said “We have about ten minutes before it goes critical. What are our other options?” There were always other options. International Rescue didn’t give up.  

 “There might be another way” John said with a strange hesitation. “But it’s a bit more …. errr …. rough and ready, shall we say. You’re not going to like it.”  

 “If that’s what we’ve got,  lets   get on with it!” Virgil knew they had no time to waste.  

 John pointed him to one of the panels on the far side of the room. “I need you to take out all of the capacitors on that board, one at a time, from left to right. And I need to borrow a wrench.”  

 Virgil fished out his second  favourite   wrench and handed it over, turning smartly on his heel to set about his task. John pressed a few buttons on the main console before popping open another section of the room’s wall. Virgil clicked open his own, now as far away from John as he could be in the small space, and stared in puzzlement for a second. He wasn’t the computer genius that his brother was, but he knew what a capacitor looked like and whatever was running through this wall didn’t have any. It wasn’t like John to make such a mistake even under this much pressure. He turned to double check when a lot of things happened at once.  

 He saw John reaching into the guts of the wall and hitting something really hard with the wrench.  What followed was the predictable blinding flash of an overload due to damage and contact with metal, the snap of discharging electricity like static from a balloon but a  thousand fold  . The lights went out, there was a dull ‘thumb’ of a large weight on a hard surface and a clang as the wrench fell to the floor.    

 Virgil stood, stiff and dumbfounded. His eyes, still troubled by the flash were struggling to  accustomise   themselves to the pitch dark. Spots were floating across his vision and the hair on the back of his neck stood up in a sixth-sense sort of alarm.  

 “John?” He whispered “What the actual hell.”  

He turned on his trusty shoulder flashlight and swept it around the room. The place where John had been standing was filled with smoke which smelt cloying and metallic as it drifted through the room.  Another sweep found what he was looking for – crumbled against the wall just a few paces away was his stupid stupid stupid brother.  

 “God damn it John!” Virgil said as he knelt at his side. Through the thin beam of light Virgil could see the slight fuzz to his hair and scorch marks on his suit that spoke of a large electrical discharge.   Virgil pushed a furious two fingers to the pulse point just under the jaw and offered a silent prayer of thanks to anything in a position to hear when he felt the heartbeat  - fast, uneven, but there.  

 “John, John!” Virgil shook his shoulder.  

 “No need to shout.” John replied, voice much softer than his usual commanding tones.  

 “  Oh   there is plenty of reason to shout. Being as I think you just stuck your hand into the primary back up power system to overload it and shut the factory down. That's what you did, right?”  

 “Basically.” Virgil focused the light on John’s face to see it pinched, pale and squinting. He tried to bring up the suit’s biometrics but it wasn’t fully responsive, and it took a lot to damage Brains’ tech. “How long has everything been off?”  

 “Under a minute. You and I are going to have a conversation about ‘rough and ready’ and hitting complex electric systems with god damn metal rods and getting yourself god damn electrocuted.”  

 “I’m fine.” John protested.  

 “Really? Because I think you just got thrown across the room into a concrete wall. I also think you just got hit with about a billion volts of electricity. Now I’m not sure one of those made you lose consciousness, but I know which one is making your heartrate too fast. I’m also worried that I can feel occasional irregular heartbeats and I so don’t want to have to put a de-fib on you because I have no idea what sort of internal injuries you have right now.” Virgil was trying not to let his anger out and to stay professional but John sure did deserve it. Hitting it with a bloody wrench!  

 “If you’re finished, want to help me get up so we can get this place back up and running and go home?” John said, making no move to get up himself.  

 “That depends, do you think you’ve got any internal bleeding?” Virgil made a couple of physical checks that John bore with bad grace - unfortunately they were all familiar with the feeling of internal bleeding.  

 John gave a grimace and a shake of his head “Nah, only bruised.”  

 Virgil gave a put-upon sigh and man-handled John to his feet, taking most of his weight with an arm slung over his shoulder and Virgil holding John tightly to his hip. The quicker they did this, the quicker he could get John back for a CAT scan and an  xray   and an ECG.  

 They staggered to the main terminal where John flicked a few switches and pumped a breaker – with a whine and a whir something started up: lights and screens flickered on all around them, straining his eyes yet again.  

 “Please don’t do anything like that again.” Virgil pleaded as they waited for the main frame to reboot, “It was really stupid and you could have at least given me warning.”  

 “You would have tried to stop me.” John said, leaning his head against Virgil and closing his eye for just a second. “I didn’t want to do it, but -  “ he   paused for a few moments as he studied the booting sequence and obviously happy with what he saw there - “Mission accomplished, city saved.”  

 “Yeah, too right I would have tried to stop you almost killing yourself.” Virgil said, turning them slowly and starting to make their way back to his Thunderbird. Luckily they landed  just outside the door so he wouldn’t have to carry John too far – he was heavier than he looked. “As it is, you might have wished you had when Scott gets hold of you.”  

 John groaned, long and drawn out. After a side-eyed glance at his  brother  -    pale, in obvious pain and listing to one side even with his support  - Virgil wasn’t convinced that noise could all be attributed to the thought of the dressing down he was going to get as soon as he was well enough to stand it.  

 “Do you think we could just not tell him?”  

 “Not a chance.”  

 “He’s not going to understand.”  

 “Oh we understand- ” Virgil said, wanting to  emphasise   that Scott wouldn’t be the only one to have a problem with John’s antics, even as he was pushing his brother into one of Two’s med beds. “-considering the number of lives at risk. But making a decision like that without having a conversation with the rest of us – it's just not on. How would you feel if we did it while you were up on  Five.  ”  

 John was clenching his jaw as Virgil raised the bed so he was leaning back instead of  laying   flat, but whether from a hidden injury or the memory of all the times John had watched them run head first into trouble without being able to do anything about it was impossible to say.  

 Suppressing a groan of his own Virgil headed to the cockpit for  take off   protocols. If everyone was being their usual selves Scott would be blazingly angry by the time they got back to the island and John would retreat into intractable silence and somehow it would all be Virgil’s fault.  

 Virgil was almost glad he worked with his brother just once in a blue moon.  

also on https://archiveofourown.org/works/23156785

or

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13522767/1/Once-in-a-Blue-Moon

[sweetcatmintea]

Sacrifices - Part 2

Here’s part two of Sacrifices! I’m not the best at horror but I tried my best anyway! (I’ll proofread tomorrow to find all the typos) I hope you enjoy your time in space ^u^ Feedback is appreciated!

Part 1: Sacrifices

Words: 2198

~~~~~~~~~~

          The universe around the station radiated bright colour as they entered a new territory. Sensors beeped, sliding metal shutters to block out the intense light. Toby and Jules worked together, documenting and analysing the readings spat out rapid fire from the computer. Holly crunched the numbers. Calculating and recalculating their trajectory. Searching for new obstacles that may accompany the new terrain. Hasley and Miguel, overlapping their wake cycle for the information onslaught that followed every milestone, reported back to Earth headquarters. Noise and movement buzzed through the station, bulldozing the usual quiet peace.

          “Course still clear. Repeat. The course has not changed.”

          Miguel and Hasley parroted Holly’s words to the Earth team, alternating languages and repeating the message as many times as needed.

          “Readings are normalising. Light is beginning to fade.”

          “It looks to be coming int waves. Another strong wave is expected in 45 standard min-”

          A light flicker then black. Before panic could ensue, systems rebooted, returning life to the station.

          “What was that?” Toby was the first to speak. His eyes bounced off each surprised expression. Delirious panic ghosting their faces.

          “It was just a glitch.” Jules tried to laugh it off but their voice was hollow. There was no conviction. “I’ll run a scan and see if it’s the hardware or software.

          Miguel tapped frantically at the screen. “We’ve lost communication.”

          “Try to reboot it.”

          Hasley didn’t stop to look at Toby. Fingers flew across the keys, her words clipped. “That’s what we’re doing.”

          “Anything?” Holly peered over Jules’ shoulder, wringing her hands and trying not to shake. Jules bit their lip, nodding slowly.

          “It looks like one of the external wire clusters was damaged. I’m guessing that was more than just light waves… We’ll have to go out and fix it but that should get everything back into gear.” They pointed to the section on the station’s blueprints.

          “That doesn’t make any sense.” Hasley frowned. “Communication systems run through here,” she trailed her finger down diagonally, “Damage to that section shouldn’t have knocked out the video. We’d still, at the very least, have audio.”

          “There’s nothing wrong with there.” Jules brought up the reports for Hasley to see for herself.

          “Maybe it’s just bad timing?” Toby offered. “We were all surprised that the connection reached as far as it did. Maybe we’re just finally out of range?”

          A gloom of realisation weighed down the room. Screens couldn’t replace touch, but it was infinitely better to nothing at all.

          Holly refused to accept Toby’s proposal. “I’m sure it just needs a minute or two to cool down. When we fix the lights, everything will go back to normal. You’ll see.”

          There was a sequence of non-committal ‘yeah’s. No one wanted to disagree but an air of futility crept around their necks.

          “We can’t do anything until the light waves are less intense and we’ve had a chance to prepare for a spacewalk. Without immediate danger, I’m not risking lives if I can avoid it.” Jules ran calculations through the system as he spoke. “The earliest point the waves will be safe enough to engage will be in about… five hours.”

          “No way!”

          “You’re kidding?” 

          They’d have to wait five hours before they could repair the over-complicated life support machine?

          Jules sighed to themselves. “Afraid not. If we go out any earlier, the light will be blinding. Not to mention the potential radiation poisoning. The suits aren’t made for that degree of direct exposure. Sorry guys, we’re just going to have to hunker down and wait it out.”

          So they did. Miguel, Holly, and Toby headed to the living quarters, breaking out a board game with over-acted enthusiasm. As though winning was the only mission at hand. Hahaha our lives are on the line? Certainly not a problem when I can make ‘orbit’ in scrabble! Jules stayed with the instruments, running test after test on the systems. Nothing better to do, they killed time trying to suture the connection with Earth. Hasley, already close to the end of a wake cycle when the action started, headed to sleep. Might as well choose unconsciousness over anxiety. The station hissed and sighed, decompressing rooms to prepare the inhabitants for the walk. Only two would go but there was no room for error. All would be prepared.

          Seconds ticked by. Slowly. So slowly. Metallic ticks echoed in Toby’s mind. The thing about time, the more you’re aware of it, the more it drags. Each minute stretched longer than the last. He cracked his knuckles, stretching to spend just one more second. Holly fidgeted with her letter tiles. Arranging them and re-arranging them. Miguel bounced his knee. He bounced so much the table juttered along with him. Each time the stereo fell quiet, Toby put on another corny space song. He had saved so many of them, a muscle memory from faulty internet. The crew twitched and fidgeted with plastered smiles and exaggerated movements. Time ticked by slowly.

          As ‘All about that space’ wound to a stop, Toby momentarily left his tiles to switch tracks. Even if his friends were to peek, it wouldn’t make a difference. He was losing anyway. He punched letters into the stereo one at a time. Spending more seconds where he could. S – T – A – R - _ - T – R – E – K – K –

          An ungodly scream. Rabbit panic pause. Another scream. Game abandoned, they bolted for Hasley. Forgotten tiles crashed to the floor as Toby crashed through the door.

          “What’s wrong!?”

          Shaking, wide eyed, Hasley scrunched herself against the wall. Blankets pulled tight over her shoulders in a white knuckled grip.  “I – I.. There w-was s-s-something there!” Her eyes glued to the corner of the cell. Holly slapped the light on, searching for what Hasley had seen. The area was too cramped for hidden shadows.

          Toby tried to coax her out, to calm her down. “You had a nightmare Hasley.” He said it as gently as he could.

          “I was awake.”

          “There’s nothing here. You probably didn’t realise you - ”

          “I. Was. Awake.” She glared at him, gritting her teeth hard enough to give herself a headache.

          Toby raised his palms placatingly. “Okay. Okay. You were awake. There’s nothing here now, so come to the living quarters with us. Play some scrabble and get your mind off it.”

          She looked like she wanted to argue but couldn’t find a good enough reason. Holly offered her hand, leading her back to the living quarters. Miguel, Jules, and Toby exchanged glances. What was that?”

          “I’ll check around, just in case. You guys make sure Hasley is okay. I needed to stretch my legs anyway.” Jules waited for confirmation before walking away, poking into nooks and crannies as he went.

          ~~~

          An hour passed. A tense, slow, hour. Jules’ search was inconclusive. Like they thought, there was nothing there. Hasley perched herself on the couch, watching the others play. Her face was pallid, unable to shake her distress long enough to pretend everything was okay. She knew she saw something. Jules returned to checking the numbers. There had to be an answer in them somewhere. The station continued its quiet ruminations.

          Another hour. Scrabble to dominoes to Uno. Anything to maintain normalcy. Boredom and anxiety mixed, creating a palpable static in the air. Every lull as a song faded, Hasley stiffened. Listening for something other than silence. Something that wasn’t there. Lights flickered but stayed on. Each time, the teams’ laughter got a little louder. A little more forced. Just a little longer. Toby pretended he couldn’t hear feint clicks starting and stopping at random. He pretended his mind wasn’t starting to warp shadows into faces as the what ifs grew. Pretending there wasn’t a twisting claw in his guts that they wouldn’t get out in time.

          ~~~

          Eventually, after too many insufferable hours, Jules reappeared. “The waves are manageable. We can go out.”

          Holly all but jumped at the opportunity, slamming her hands on the table and sending cards flying. “I’ll go!”

          Jules nodded, looking to the others for the second walker.

          “I won’t. I can’t really…” Hasley trailed of, uncomfortable in her vulnerability. She couldn’t concentrate right now. Holly looped a sympathetic arm around her. No one could blame her.

          “Unless Toby wants too.. No? Okay. I’ll go.” Miguel joined Holly suiting up for the trip out. Toby positioned himself as the look out, monitoring their safety from within the station.

          Jules briefed the walking pair on the repairs they needed to make, before returning yet again to the control centre, tailed by Hasley. They had to ensure the soft and hardware synched properly.

          Alone again, Toby watched as his friends climbed out of the airlock hatch, taking floating steps onto the shell of the station. Holly took the lead, as was her prerogative, crossing the distance as quickly as the universe allowed. Miguel followed, more carefully, tethered to her by a long, long cord, grounded to the station with another. Toby held his breath as they reached the damaged panels. They anchored themselves and got to work.

          “Progress report.” It wasn’t necessary this early, but Toby couldn’t help asking.

          Miguel gave a thumbs up to his approximate location. It was harder to tell where he was from the outside. “All’s fine mama hen. The damage is minimal. We should be finished relatively quickly. All this waiting for a fifteen-minute repair job, honestly.”

          “Good. Of course. That’s what I expected from you.” Toby stumbled over himself. It would be over soon. His brain was flooding as relief crashed against a cliffside of fear.

          Holly laughed at him. He could feel her rolling her eyes. “Riiight. That’s why you needed to check up on us. We’ll be done sooner if y-”

          White noise blasted through the radio. Toby tore off the headset, flinging it across the room. It hurt so much! His ears were ringing. Another screech and the lights died. Pure, unadulterated dark smothered the station. Toby pressed his face to the window. Nothing. Void so deep it burned into his retinas like an after image. Miguel and Holly were meters away but gone. Swallowed by the black. Toby launched himself at the headset. The world spun. Vertigo and motion sickness made blended roadkill of his organs. His mind caught up with his body, floating blind. Who the hell turned off the gravity simulator? Pressure bumped against his outstretched hand as the headset floated back to him.

          “Hello. Hello. Holly, Miguel, are you okay?”

          Silence.

          “Repeat. Holly, Miguel, are you okay??”

          Nothing.

          “What’s going on!? Hasley, Jules?? I can’t reach Holly or Miguel!”

          Nothing.

          Nothing.

          Nothing at all.

          Toby was panicking. Hands clammy, shaking, cold. Breathes short, fast, too shallow. And then, a break. Slightly less nothing. Slightly less again. A slow glow crept along the edges of darkness, waves of light starting again. He thanked his gods, whoever would listen, racing to the window. He could signal for the walkers to return.

          Except he couldn’t.

          They were gone.

          Just a frayed tether floating outside. No! No no nononononono! This couldn’t be happening! He peered out, straining his eyes to find them. A sign of them. Anything would do. A dot would be enough. He’d suit up and bring them back. There’s no way they could have travelled far yet. He just had to find them.

          He couldn’t.

          They were gone.

          A strangled sob escaped him. What was he going to do? He needed help. He needed Jules. A single rational thought.

          Toby was on his back. Coughing. Trying to force air into his winded and wheezing lungs. The dull thud continued ringing through his body ling after his head connected with the floor. He groaned, reaching to touch the throbbing pain. His hair was sticky. He had to get up. His head was swimming. He was going to be sick. He had to get up. But he couldn’t move. Light trickled around him, like a full moon on a clear night. Objects were given monochrome form. Blurry indications of something as opposed to nothing. Tears or injury, he didn’t know. Silence prevailed. No corny music. No friendly banter. No blood curdling screams. The loudest silence he’d ever heard. His brain was too fast and too slow and he couldn’t think. Chest heaving, he panicked. Alone in the universe with a cruel peace and gentle darkness settling around him. So very alone. Nothing but his snared jackrabbit heart moving.

          Clickclick Clickclick

          The one thing worse than silence where there should be noise, is noise where there should be silence. Rhythmic clicking. Nails on metal. Getting closer? Further? It echoed around and around. Toby hauled himself up, pushing himself into the corner of the room. Hiding. Jostled ticks and clinks. Closer. Definitely closer. Like keys or dog tags. Sweat trickled down his neck. He couldn’t stop shaking. Hot breath under the door. Pants. Snarls. Growls. It was coming. A shadow melted through the door. Long. Canine – once. Not anymore. Too long. Too big. Too tangible. It wasn’t until she was standing over him Toby realised.

          They found Laika.

          She was alive.

          She made the ultimate sacrifice.

          Thrown away.

          She was not looking to forgive.

----------

Tag list

  @inkovert, @snobbysnekboi, @kainablue, and @i-rove-rock-n-roll. 

[duderocketship]

Digital Physics.zip

>Extract Readme.txt Todays topic of discussion is digital physics I/O >Boot sequence •Online Big Bang initiates The grandiose simulation Cosmos at war with emulation Surrounded by bots lost in false self awareness; Like castles in the air Beware when virtual CPU perishes From far enough away, the galaxy is comprised of minute pixels The brittle firmware will be abysmally crippled When a hacker simply introduces a virus into reality's framework DDOS style attacks will conclude in Universal Blue Screen of Death Resulting in the glitching out of exodus in mass Metaphysical metadata memory dump (checksum) Mirror carbon copy clones of true conscious unification Are simply sentient drones toiling in their default algorithmic hallucination Scrolling through existence Analog life is digitized in the matrix illusionofconsciousness.exe Interface encrypted in the realm of comprehension Representations of data abstracted from the banks of every computer in the human system Lets get down to basics Matter does not exist Science is not sacred DNA is molded by perception Creativity is your true oasis Trans-dimensional harbingers Conspire together to alter our processors Measure and tether us to our oppressors It's standard procedure Following the leaders Open the prompt >Start/Run/cmd With custom font, Format my programming; molecular syntax - Port the source code To run on new platforms Upgrading paradigm Until baseband collapses Systematic inversion We the people, End users of genetic perversion Trapped in beta, the bane of human recursion It's our destiny To become one with singular conversion Iterations of congregations Gregariously lost in configuration Flies entangled into the interweb Tied to the mainframe marionette Files unable to bypass the firewall Gateway remains unattainable >cut/copy/paste >(Ctrl+x/ctrl+c/ctrl+v) Interweaves cyberspace as our perceived reality database >Ctrl-alt-del >Task Manager >System >End process •Offline >Server on standby Null Dragged and dropped into the recycle bin Degauss your GPU state of consciousness & manifest color as it truly exists In its most absolute resolution Maximize your window of life Partition the root someplace private Elevate your mind to optimal brightness >Reboot in safe mode* To achieve enlightenment (May 2015) This is a very experimental piece I'm not sure if I'm finished with yet. May repost at a later date. Some explanations: "Digital physics is grounded in one or more of the following hypotheses; listed in order of increasing strength. The physical world: is essentially informational is essentially computable can be described digitally is in essence digital is itself a computer is the output of a simulated reality exercise" "A central processing unit (CPU) is the electronic circuitry within a computer that carries out the instructions of a computer program by performing the basic arithmetic, logical, control and input/output (I/O) operations specified by the instructions. (Basically a computer's brain)" "In computing, a denial-of-service (DoS) or distributed denial-of-service (DDoS) attack is an attempt to make a machine or network resource unavailable to its intended users." "Ever wonder what that "degauss" button on your monitor does besides make a buzzing noise and cause the screen to go crazy for a second? Though that's its main purpose, the degauss button has another useful feature. To understand it, you'll first need to know that the earth has natural magnetic fields. The magnetic charges from these fields can build up inside your monitor, causing a loss of color accuracy. Degaussing scares the bad magnetism out of the monitor and fills it with good karma. If your monitor doesn't have a degauss button, fear not -- many new monitors automatically degauss themselves. If you have a flat-panel display, there is no degauss button because magnetism doesn't build up in flat screen displays." "A graphics processor unit (GPU)  is a specialized electronic circuit designed to rapidly manipulate and alter memory to accelerate the creation of images in a frame buffer intended for output to a display."

[iguanasplit]

Pinnochio AU!

Part 1

Their father direct opinion and order was the cyborg to take part of the personal of the company and to blend with the people. And none of them were really keen on the idea, especially on the following.

"What do you mean we will put him on the basement and disconnect him at night?!" Kibum complained gritting his teeth.

"You are adults, you cannot be pretending he is some friend, he is a robot" 

"He is an AI he will interact with people and has intelligent learning capacity, he isn't just a computer, he should at least get a room just like the other employees he will be blending with" Jonghyun stated with dark eyes. 

"The fact that you want to humanize him is going to be seen as a weakness for the future of the company" the man said folding his hands on top of the folder on his desk.

"Bullshit" Jonghyun said and Kibum scoffed before standing up a couple of security guards followed them outside.

When Taemin's system rebooted again his localization system told him he wasn't in the lab quarters anymore, he was somewhere else very far away, from the array of noises in the background that came clearer as seconds passed he realized it, he was sold and the new protocol of service robot was being installed into his system, it felt like dread to his chest. 

His vision focused to see a woman and a man in front of him, looking with slight disdain, his mind could analyze features, they didn't like him already. 

"The CEO told us to take it to his office when it woke up" the woman said 

"How do we do it? Do we just order this to go to the CEOs office? And he's supposed to know right?" The man added questioning, getting close to Taemin and trying to look into his eyes to retire with a distaste expression so evident, "he looks so human its scary it freaks me out" the man hissed at the woman.

The woman nodded "I agree.... It looks way too human, i hope it isnt too awkward, it doesn't seem very responsive right now.... How did the CEO even think this could work?" 

"Lets just send him to the office and hope his advanced computer is enough, if he doesn't then robots are probably useless" the man shook his head and turned to Taemin "Go to the CEO's office" 

Taemin's system analyzed ad processed the order before he was walking to the office.

Taemin walked now actually able to control his body, his eyed showing a small panel with directions as in old style videogames, a route he should follow, it made his stomach church just to think about that. But something he could be thankful for. Was that nobody stared, he was dressed just like everyone else, a simple basic suit, he blended into the office workers walking throught the halls. Yet part of his anxiety skyrocketed at the possibility of eyes on his back, pointing and calling him a robot, a thing, a monster.

 But only that man and that woman knew, right?, They did treat him like a thing, as if they could manipulate him at will, talked him like an "It" and it hurted, the reminder of how no human he was. 

He was already fearing for who would be behind the CEO doors which now where in front of him.

Part of him was relieved to be out of the lab, finally, but it just seemed to reassure that this was his reality now, and the idea of being treated like a thing, a machine for the rest of his days was terrifying, even if after so many years he should be used to. After all it had been so so many years of being a treated like a robot, so many memories lost and now looking far like an old watercolor painting, fading. 

Maybe it was the nightmares and pain of what was left of his human part trying to heal and blend with the metal sipping under his skin.

The CEO's door was pushed by bodyguards in a suit and the man behind the desk looked old and tired, frowning and when he tore his eyes from the paperwork in front of him their eyes locked, and he would be shaking, his eyes would be shivering if they were still made of blood and muscle. Yet his eyes could probably be enough, the man seemed not interested in his eyes, just scowled and lowered his head to examinate him, then he spoke, as if ignoring him being able to listen, being able to feel. And probably he shouldn't because he's supposed to be a robot. 

The man spoke, deep and firm voice, scary and just in orders, all of them getting stored in his memory as his eyes explored the room. 

"...You will blend in with people, your orders will be given by the young CEO'S of the company by nobody else." Taemin nodded at the end of every order.

"You are now owned by this company and will be programmed with this company's data and information..." Taemin nodded and shuddered, he didn't like having stuff plugged into him. "At any sign of danger or anyone trying to obtain the information you will erase it and in case the time isn't enough you will self-destruct" Taemin nodded as anxiety rocketed and pounded in his ears

Footsteps behind him and a hand on his shoulder, fear coming over him like a wave, his first instinct was to scream, to escape from the hands who would plug information to his system and change his programming. And in fact they did, they moved his hair and opened the small lid behind his ear and with a current of sheer electricity ran down him, the information, a red light of a plugged device on him lighted up in his sight. A second system, a keyboard his screen told him started to insert controls and systen into him, the new orders sending painful chills and shots of sting down his body, his mind poinding, it all ached, he did his best to control his body standing still, because he was not a human

Not a human

Not a human 

Not a human

His gaze had a slight red glow indicating high levels of pain disturbing the balance of his body. 

The coding finished and now his brain was organizing the new information, the man kept speaking for minutes and his subconscious stored the information while Taemin was supressing all of his senses and trying to recover his balance. 

Before he could actually process anything himself he bowed an automatic goodbye and left the office

His next orders took him to the Young's CEO'S office, a couple of white wooden doors in contrast to the old CEO'S black ones, a bodyguard stood on the door raising an eyebrow at him, and he stopped, he stopped because he was scared of facing who was behind the door, of people plugging more coding into him without his permission or consent, he didnt want to do this anymore, he was so close to shut his conciousness down to an autopilot service mode, it wouldn't matter anyways, they wouldn't notice, they just wanted a robot. 

A buzzing sound from the bodyguards ear device followed by a command and the door opened. Taemin took a deep breath before walking in with mechanic steps. The room wasn't as big, but it was very spacious. Walls intercalating black and white, the dark wooden desk on the middle of the room was empty, when he turned to his right a small decorated living room set and a couple of cups rested on the table as a couple of people seemed to be talking, both in formal dark suits speaking before one of them turned to him and made a small expression of surprise. 

"He's here already" he said and turned to the other man.

"Yes..." The other one said, clearly thinking before turning to him "Come here, We were waiting for you" 

Taemin frowned a bit before walking there slowly and nervously, looking at his feet. He stopped in front of the glass table and looked at the men. One with white silvery hair and one with dark hair and an eyepatch.

"Welcome to the company, my name is Kim Jonghyun" 

"A pleasure to meet you, my name is Kim Kibum"

"Take a seat" the man named Kibum said and Taemin took a seat carefully, eyes scared of whatever that would happen next. 

"You are now a part of the company too, so you will probably have to work with others, but don't worry we will provide everything" the man with the silver hair, Jonghyun added folding his hands to his lap. 

"How should we call you?" Eyepatch, Kibum asked turning to him, eyeing his face carefully, he would probably be red but now only a small sign in orange lighted up in his eyes.

Taemin frowned, his fear increasing, why were they asking his name? And saying all that, why did they seemed to be confusing him with an actual worker? Didn't they know?

Kibum turned to Jonghyun who was clearly as surprised as him, the cyborg was young and handsome, but anyone who could manipulate bodies could do that, but his body language, the way the didn't seem to notice hid own hands fidgeting on hid lap, how his eyebrows arched ... Even very very high advanced robots could by taking common human patterns and adhere them as experience, but not emotions, not as clear and vivid as this one.

Taemin was watching the system alerting him of his high levels of adrenaline that shouldn't be this high, but nobody had asked his name before, it was so buried and stomped by derrogatory robotic terms and series of numbers and digits that he had almost forgotten his own name.

Kibum bit his lip and turned to Jonghyun, Jonghyun seemed to read his mind a brief "do robots have names?" And Jonghyun shrugged a bit making Kibum scowl slightly. "Or is it better if we give you one to blend in, We've been informed not everyone comes with proper names...." Kibum offered tempted to get close and touch, he seemed to real so human, the way he picked at the hem of his suit had "human" written all over it. 

"I can..." He tried his voice, a bit rougher and scratchier, he swallowed slight to get hid voice and this didn't passed by the two of them "I can be called Taemin" he added slowly yet with an edge of firmness.