#my brain is exhausted
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y'all
i fucking did it
i will now go sleep for a million years
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sorry my loves i was gonna get some writing done tonight but it has been a very, very long day :(
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- 2 pm on a Sunday still in bed (I'm dusty)
- can't say if I'm indulging too much or just excited about life and chaos
- want to be creative again
- still in a love hate relationship with my meds
- longing for the wine dark sea
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Shout out to everyone who is just so tired So so exhausted So very very tired so very fatigued so sleepy and tired So
#I am literally so mentally exhausted lately I feel like my brain is swelling#I feel dazed and cloudy and yet I must keep going despite being the most tired bitch in the universe
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Need to work on script need to write fics need to draw for money need to draw for personal projects need to make resin stuff to sell need to take it easy because I’m still recovering need to take out the trash need-
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just realized that i was so caught up in my book that my dinner tonight was twizzlers, oops
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If your eyes were not right next to your brain, if for example they were on your stomach, would we think that we think from where our stomach is? Or would we still think thought happens behind eyes?
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One Summer Day
#hullo! I’m back!#sorry about the longer-than-planned-for-absence;#after I got back from my trip I was exhausted and then I almost immediately had to deal with a health thing#and I haven’t had as much brain for drawing as I would have hoped — but I finally finished another piece!#learning this new software is taking me a bit but it’s so fun alskdjfjf :D#hope you all are doing well!! I’ll start answering asks again whenever I have time#bsd#my art#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs#soukoku#skk#skyline pigeon fic
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wife
#yeah i'm not dead woo let's celebrate#my art#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji fanart#black butler#black butler fanart#grelle sutcliff#grell sutcliff#anyway i didn't draw SHIT for a good while and when i got back to it i suddenly hated using the flat marker brush???#it's part of what makes my signature distinctive so i used it for that but yeah i switched brushes#oddly enough i'm not hating the more textured look? it gets very pixelated at times but it's not awful#back to the signature- it felt weirdly nice to sign things again#i haven't in a while#if you're one of the very few people who also follow me on instagram you'll know i don't use it on there#and the only art i've been doing these days has been original work so yeah nothing on tumblr#and thus the words 'brain exhaustion god stan' have not been written by this comically large hand in a hot minute#enough rambling this is just grelle art because i love her and i know y'all love her too so i thought it would be a nice comeback piece
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Scribbled on the flight home. One day more! 🥺
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#my art#it’s literally tmr im going crazy ahhhh#it’ll release at midnight 1 nov for me tho pfffft#wonder if I can install it overnight#hmmm#I am so exhausted physically from the trip#but the brain is still so hyped for everything#oh Emmy I’ll see you soon#//screaming crying throwing up#iPad doodles are so chicken scratchy shdidhd#folks were watching me doodle lmao
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How I'm feeling right now. 😅
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ngl i get that people hype up hating writing for the bit but like. idk. yall i Do actually really like writing. it is so satisfying and fun and rewarding and i get to look back what i made over and over again and get joy every single time.
yes writing is hard but if you hate it more than you love it im kinda like. idk. find another hobby?
#also the planning parts and the daydreaming is part of the process so idk#yall it is getting exhausting seeing all the quirky see how little i’m writing shit#like what if for once i am writing and im having a grand time!!#what if not being able to write isn’t a fun joke it is honestly detrimental to my brain!!!#what if writing has been my friend when i never had any and it is the love of my life and love language and i love actually doing it perhap#talking#ren hot cakes
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#Don't tell me anything. I'm trying to reborn my exhausted brain.#tapadoodles#Cass over here started a f***ing war#On three fronts#Listen to me#RUN.#I mean I will stay#But you better run#meteorites literally from all over#and Cass just hilariously laughing from above#Let me go free I wanna in this chaos please
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The narilamb demons possessed me and I had to exorcise them via drawing them kissing or I wouldn’t be able to sleep
#narilamb#cotl narilamb#cult of the lamb#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#cotl fanart#cotl#cult of the lamb fanart#my art#i am so eepy#but I had to get this out of my brain#if something is off im blaming it on the exhaustion
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wait, hold on.
"i need you to always be devout, and comply with this, or we'll all die in this, okay?" was right before Eurylochus went against orders to open the bag. and Odysseus was right, people died for it.
and Eurylochus doesn't go against a direct order after that. because he's learned what happens when he does.
but then Odysseus orders him to light up six torches, and he does it without question. because why would he question it? Odysseus knows what he's doing, of course he does.
then six men die. and Eurylochus is faced with the truth that there is no way to avoid tragedy. all paths lead to the same end. rebel against your captain, your friends die because of you. follow orders, your friends die because of you. there's no escaping the death that follows them, and Eurylochus always ends up with unintentional blood on his hands. he's exhausted.
"Ody, we're never gonna get to make it home, you know it's true."
#epic the musical#epic the thunder saga#the thunder saga#eurylochus#i swear i didn't have a favorite character before this album came out. eurylochus just completely rewired my brain chemistry in this one.#it's about the inevitability and the guilt and the impossible decisions and the hunger and exhaustion!! aghhhh he's so tragic i'm gonna sob
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Louie isn’t evil.
Or: what Pikmin 4 tells us about his character.
BIG WARNING FOR PIKMIN 4 SPOILERS! (and the rest of the series)
———
I want to preface this by saying that I am in no way trying to be the end-all, be-all of character interpretations, but Pikmin 4 to me, at least, confirms the suspicions I’ve had since playing Pikmin 2 and 3 all those years ago that Louie ISN’T secretly evil, or possessed, or whatever else. He’s just… Louie. And I think that’s interesting in and of itself.
1. Olimar himself vouches for him, and clearly doesn’t think he’s a bad person.
Say what you will, but I’m inclined to think Olimar is a decent judge of character. Clearly he’s worked with Louie for enough time to see that while he’s not very good at his job, he’s not intentionally so— at least not in a malevolent way (will get more into this later). He also wants you to forgive him for Olimar’s sake, which can be read as self-sacrificing (as Olimar is known to be) but I also think hints at the soft spot he has for Louie.
It's also worth noting that he states during a end-of-day conversation that he told Louie that, since he's a new employee, he should do everything Olimar does... including throw castaways into the onion. Interesting that Louie took this so literally, but it does provide an explanation for why he kidnapped the Koppaites beyond "he's evil and crazy".
2. He really, REALLY loves his grandma.
Like, wow. He talks about her SO MUCH both in his Piklopedia entries and also elsewhere in the game. It's interesting. Worth noting is that he never mentions any other family members- unlike Olimar, who talks about his wife and each of his children independently. I've said this before, but the content of a lot of these entries implies to me that Louie was mainly raised by his grandma, likely since birth. And given some of her emails in Pikmin 2, assuming they're also canon to Pikmin 4's timeline... Well, Louie certainly had an interesting upbringing. But he clearly loves her all the same.
3. He has a mischievous streak and tends to do things on impulse.
This was already fairly obvious from the previous games, but I think it's worth noting that this game confirms that he's... would immature be the right word? In any regard, he doesn't seem to see himself as a "grown-up"- when in all likelihood he is. Personally, as a 22-year-old, I find that pretty relatable as I often think of myself as younger when in reality I am by all definitions an adult. This, along with his grandma still being around, makes it pretty much certain that Louie is a lot younger than Olimar and the president, likely in his early to mid twenties. Being a bit of a goofball isn't really out of the ordinary, all things considered.
THAT BEING SAID, he's clearly capable of practicing self-restraint when he wants to. What he says here about the red Pikmin is pretty significant, since we know he's willing to eat just about anything- but clearly he has some reservations about creatures that are friendly and helpful. Which leads to...
4. He loves dogs and fluffy things.
Same. But he doesn't even consider eating Moss, Oatchi or the Ancient Sirehound, showing that his creature-eating habits stop at things he recognizes as useful. He clearly also holds affection for things that are soft and fuzzy, and says as much.
5. He is so autism.
He plays with fidget toys. He loves certain textures and sounds. This guy is stimming all over PNF-404!!! I think this also lends some explanation for why his behavior is what it is- things like taking Olimar's suggestion to do as he does super literally even after crashing on an alien planet, his hyperfixation on cooking and tendency not to communicate and incorrectly interpret situations (thinking the Koppaites are kidnappers in 3, running away from you in 4). He could even be low or no empathy as well, explaining why it takes a hot minute to get him to understand why people are upset with him about something.
Interestingly this game also makes it clear that Louie wants to live on the planet, or at least thought he did while you were chasing him down, which makes a lot of sense when you consider that he doesn't really seem to fit in back on Hocotate. I, too, wish to run away to an alien world with all of the things that I like and no other people, so I get you, Louie.
6. He hates his boss and his job, and the golden pikpik carrot incident was likely premeditated.
This probably looks bad, but honestly? As a fellow work-hating anti-capitalist schmuck I get it. The president is for all intents and purposes a huge asshole, from sending Olimar straight back to the planet after selling his ship to not caring that Louie got left behind, just wanting to find the rest of the treasures. I doubt he is very kind to his employees, and doesn't seem very good at running the business. Definitely a funny character, but if he were my boss I would absolutely want to punt him into the sun.
From some other entries he clearly wants to sell certain things to accrue money, but it's for things like getting better kitchen tools and following his dream to have his own cooking show. Clearly being a freight driver isn't what Louie actually wants to do with his life, and he could not give less of a shit about what happens to the company. Very short-sighted on his part, but also again, yeah I get you Louie.
7. He... doesn't like the color red for some reason.
Honestly, I'm not even really sure what to make of this. Is it because it reminds him of the Hocotate ship? Or does he just not like the color? Would be very interesting considering that it's Olimar's signature color. Perhaps that's at least part of why he attacks you in Pikmin 2- though that's speculation for another day.
Also funny to me is his comments on the black-colored treasures. We know blue is his favorite color, but I guess he's also a bit of a goth at heart. Lol.
In conclusion.
I think Louie isn't written or intended to be evil, and Pikmin 4's portrayal of him was intentionally written to confirm this. He's just, as some have said, an agent of chaos, but that doesn't make him a bad person. Just an autistic 20-something working a shitty job he doesn't care about, who loves his grandma and has a mischievous streak and a hyperfixation on food. At least from what I can interpret, ymmv!
#polly speaks#pikmin#pikmin 4 spoilers#pikmin spoilers#pikmin 4#pikmin 2#pikmin 3#louie pikmin#olimar pikmin#character analysis#I guess#I dunno I mostly just wanted to put all this shit together in my brain but I guess other people can see it too haha#This is a non exhaustive list btw I just had a limit to how many images I wanted to wrangle but maybe I'll add on to this in the future#for now uh. Enjoy my weird rambling about the pikmin gremlin
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