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roadklls · 5 years ago

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hello, rylan (27, she/her, gmt+2) again, introducing you to my lil angry hedgehog by the name of kara davidsen + more info, wanted connections. / @redridgeimp

name: kara davidsen nicknames: n/a age: 31 ethnicity: Indigenous (Awaetlatla First Nations + Himalayan; this is unknown to them, as their arrival in the orphanage was not met with any information regarding their biological family). gender/pronouns: genderfluid, they/them, she/her sexual/romantic orientation: pansexual/demiromantic been in red ridge for: on and off all their life occupation: criminal (mostly drug dealing atm) affiliation: none (deviant, though occasionally will lend a hand to valencia or whoever needs it) positive traits: loyal, observant, clever, headstrong, generous, determinate. negative traits: proud, aggressive, cold, hot-headed, cruel, resentful.

BIOGRAPHY —

(WARNINGS for child abandonment, abuse, bullying, substance abuse, medical misconduct / patient abuse, overdosing, death, violence).

red ridge, nv, 1989. left, discarded like unwanted leftovers — they found them in a cardboard box, half-freezing, on the doorsteps of the charming orphanage. they were given a name that was supposed to be temporary, until a family would pick them up: kara. something breaking, something thunderous, like the storm raging on the night they’re found. their last name davidsen, from the orphanage of st. david’s. lost in the world, but they soon found an ally in a child left, discarded like they were — delphine, though sharing none of their blood, became their sister.

red ridge, nv, 1993. it was clear from the very beginning that the two would have to fight teeth and nails for their place in the world, but their bond served as a double-edged weapon, kept them safe with one another and the rest of the world away. the two barely ever left each other side, and kara, in particular, soon developing a violent protectiveness over their sister. this bond would allow them to sustain the abuse, the violence, the difficulties they were soon thrown into the second they were assigned to their first foster family. it is a poisonous environment, one that corrupts the valorous side of them to leave the broken parts behind, the damage. together, they fight back. together, they survive.

red ridge, nv, 1999. taken out of the foster family, they both return to st. david’s. it’s not a victory, but it’s the chance for something better to happen - kara won’t admit it, but they hold hope someday this might have a sense. find a family for the both of them, with food on the plate and fresh clothes every day.

red ridge, nv, 2001. delphine might just get that. changes of getting out st. david’s are always slim (there’s a thing about kids grown in the desert, they bark and bite as if coyotes themselves have been the one raising them), but delphine is taken away. off to a good family, off to a better family: the bond, the magical bond that had kept them fighting through the various different wildfires life had enjoyed putting them through, it suddenly broke. kara was left behind. dumbfounded, angry, a question left ringing in their head without the knowledge to put it into coherent words: what’s the point of loving, what’s the point of caring — if it all gets taken away?

red ridge, nv, 2003. but they do love, and they do care. in their own misguided, clumsy way; and one day they bring another kid in the orphanage, two years their younger, a scared, wide-eyed kid. the other kids enjoy teasing him, enjoy the look he gets when they knock the glasses off his face and he has to go scramble to find them. kara hates that. kara enjoys putting themselves between them and him and grin at them: say come on, what are you gonna do? what’s that, are you afraid? (maybe they mimic the way delphine would look after them. maybe, in their own half broken language, they are just trying to summon delphine — or their spirit, the protective archetype of an older sibling — back into their bones. they vow they will protect eric, even though they have to endure the other kids’ beatings in his place. but one day it is too much: we gotta get out of here, they say to him one night, after they found the other kids collecting punches in eric’s gut and the tutors pretending to look the other way. we gotta get out of here.

somewhere across the nevada / utah border, 2005. breaking out wasn’t the hard part; by now kara knew exactly how to slip out, just had lacked a motivation to leave the orphanage. the hard part is when they’re out in the cold, freezing their asses off somewhere in utah, trying hard to find a fucking way to live and coming up empty. they steal cans of meat from a barn; the owner finds them, threatens them both, a shotgun aimed at kara’s throat. he sees something in them, and then somehow understands: these aren’t thieves. these are assets.

eureka, ut, 2006. scott halbridge has a lot of flaws, but one couldn’t say he isn’t a resourceful man. there isn’t a single felony he and his makeshift clan haven’t dabbled with, even just for a taste of it — and the two orphans he found in his barn might just help him grow his business. the younger kid, the one with the glasses, is soft and unassuming but he’s got a skill — he’s good at handling drugs, he’s good at selling ‘em too. the other one, the girl (he keeps calling them that and kara wants to bite the vocal cords off his throat but they won’t; they won’t, he won’t understand, it’s better they just play nice) — kara’s tougher to handle. but they’re great at kicking ass, and when needed they can slip in and out of buildings and steal shit without anyone ever noticing it. they’re both extremely useful. but eric gets to try the merch he sells and he begins growing a sweet tooth for it. when the money he brings back to scott every week grows shorter by one, two, ten doses — that’s when he understands. and his way of making eric understand, too, is by jumping on him, bashing in his head, slamming him against the wall. kara doesn’t think — it’s a single instinct that leads their arms to move, retrieving the shotgun by the side of scott’s desk, aiming, shooting. the shotgun recoils back and throws them off their balance. kara falls, but so does scott: his brain sprayed all over the walls. panting, eric stares at kara. they know what he’s seeing: something damaged. something terrifying. kara breathes, wipes the blood off the side of their cheek. “we gotta go”, they say, and then they’re on the road again.

elko, nv, 2010. another kind of scott halbridge ends up taking them in. a gang of sorts, someone who has use for their talents. kara’s attitude for fighting and taking one, two, a hundred punches, proved them to be a great resource for the needs of criminal enforcers. eric’s charm, instead, proved once again to be a fruitful assets in selling drugs: they found a life of their own, as unlawful as it was, and kept surviving on their own.

carlin, nv, 2013. eric was too soft for this world. kara had known from the beginning, and yet it still caught them off guard. the drugs got the best of him, swallowed him whole — after he’d given in to a manic episode in public, he was forcefully committed to a rehabilitation facility where the limits of ethics were more than a little stretched. they’d abuse him verbally, physically, use prescription drugs on him too liberally until he was left a screaming, aching mess of a human being. once kara learned of this (once they were able to track the place they’d taken him to), they followed through with the promise they’d made with delphine years before, the one that the loss of delphine had led to breaking but had to be respected now, for it was sacred: them against the world, no matter what. somehow, kara managed to break him out of the facility. somehow, he got his hands on drugs again. eric overdosed at the age of 22.

red ridge, nv, 2014. though kara had known anger all their life, this was the first time they experienced pain. on their own, with no destination, or even a reason to keep moving forward, they ended up back in the place where they’d began. red ridge, nevada — old contacts allowed her a way into the safe, usual business of fucking around and stealing cars, selling drugs, whatever could get them by. they were good at dealing, even good at fighting for respect. within years, they had a decent business network going on. though they didn’t care about valencia’s business in the city, and the many gangs trying to start shit in town, never did, really — they found the conflict, the violence, to be the healing balm for their aching soul. they soon began fighting at rogue’s club: though lacking discipline or any sort of training, they’d been fighting since the day they were born and could take punches for hours. the pain became a shelter, a relief. it kept them alert and out of their sorrow, out of their weakness. her life became a pantheon for violence — the fights, the ghosts, and the drugs she wouldn’t use. each of them a replacer for something she couldn’t get anymore. each blow landing against her ribcage, a reminder: this is for delphine, the way she was taken and gone forever, and perhaps a part of them had hoped coming back to red ridge would make her show up again, summoned by memories and whatever bond they’d shared — that’s a fairy tale, isn’t it? they always fucking hated those. this is for eric, the way he vanished out of thin air, no matter how much they tried to hold his molecules together, force shapeless air back into the container of his body. this is for their inability to accept it. this, at last, is for kara davidsen and all that’s left of them. a bag of bones, a blooming of bruises. and their anger: so thick, so venomous you could smell it in the air.

#now i think alike birds — file.#intro #redridgeintro

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kmomof4 · 6 years ago

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Time and Again ch6

Are y’all ready? I sure am! Hope y'all enjoy the new chapter!!

Ao3 link

All the love and hugs to @hollyethecurious and @winterbaby89 for all their love, encouragement and kick ass beta skills! Especially on this chapter! I love y'all more than I’ll ever be able to say!!!

Also many thanks and hugs to the CSSNS discord ladies for all their encouragement as well!!!

Tagging my peeps: @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @snowbellewells @stahlop @resident-of-storybrooke @jennjenn615 @kingofmyheart14 @profdanglaisstuff @branlovestowrite @thisonesatellite @ultraluckycatnd @flslp87 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @let-it-raines @shireness-says @kymbersmith-90 @darkcolinodonorgasm @bethacaciakay @searchingwardrobes @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @aprilqueen84 @qualitycoffeethings @superchocovian @artistic-writer @donteattheappleshook @doodlelolly0910 @seriouslyhooked @tiganasummertree

Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed.

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

A/N The getaway house is a real house that’s for sale atm on South Padre Island, Texas. If you’re interested in seeing what it really looks like, you can find it here.

Emma stepped down out of the small Learjet that Killian had piloted and looked around at what could only be called an oasis. The sun shining down on the metal of the plane momentarily blinded her, but the landscape around her was already seared into her brain. The sand that surrounded what couldn’t even be called a proper landing strip - it was only a flat strip of compacted sand surrounded by dunes and sea grass.- was a dazzling white. Killian had landed them squarely in the middle of paradise with nothing but sand, seagulls, and marine life for company. She was very glad she’d had the presence of mind to pack her bikini.

“This is beautiful,” she said, struggling to keep the awe out of her voice.

He came back around from collecting their suitcases with an amused expression on his face. “What were you expecting?” he asked, gently.

Even behind his aviator sunglasses, she could imagine the twinkle in his eye as he questioned her. “I don’t know what I was expecting,” she sighed. “I’ve never been to the Gulf. But, I can tell you, it sure wasn’t this. Where are we?” After the interrupted sleep from the night before and lack of sleep in general over the last couple of weeks, it wasn’t long after they took off in Dallas, that she succumbed to slumber. When she woke, all she could see was white and crystal blue. Very much like a pair of eyes that she loved.

“We are on a small private island off of South Padre Island. It belongs to Granny, but she used to bring us here during the summer when we were growing up. She comes down here less often now, so she lets us use it.” Looking at his face, she thought she caught a glimpse of something like peace as he surveyed the landscape. She scrambled to catch up to him as he led the way towards the dunes and away from the plane.

“Where are we staying?” she asked. The “landing strip” was surrounded by dunes and she was having trouble picturing what kind of accommodations there might be. Her calves were screaming at her after climbing the dune Killian seemed to have no trouble with. Finally catching up with him on the other side, she was surprised to find him standing next to a jeep, under a covered aluminum shelter, holding the door open for her.

“Thank you,” she murmured, climbing inside. She shot him a look from under her lashes, with a coy smile. “So now you’re going to be a gentleman?”

“I’m always a gentleman, Swan.” He smirked at her with a cocked eyebrow before closing the door and heading around to the other side. “The house is just on the other side of those dunes,” he said as he climbed in.

Cresting the dune, the house they’d be staying in came into view. She was stunned to silence at the peaceful tranquility that enveloped her as Killian pulled up in front of the double car garage of a magnificent home which was surrounded by palm trees that soared over the second level of the home. “Wow,” she breathed. She looked over at her companion who seemed to preen at her admiration.

“When Hurricane Dolly hit in 2008,” he explained, “there was enough damage to the house we visited as kids to justify tearing it down in order to design and build this one. We spared no expense to make it a home that would withstand Cat5 level hurricane winds. Although the island has never been hit by one that strong.”

“We?” she asked, confusion coloring her voice. “Who’s we?”

“Oh,” he exclaimed. “That’s right. You wouldn’t know.” His eyebrows danced and an air of mischievousness danced in his eyes. “I wanted to be an architect. Always loved drawing when I was a kid, and when I reached high school and was really good at math, I thought about engineering as a major with plans to become an architect. However, when Liam graduated with his Business Marketing degree and pitched the idea of an advertising agency to me and Granny, I was sold. Granny put up the capital to get the agency off the ground, and I went to school and got my degree in graphic design and advertising. My best friend Robin did go on to study engineering and became an architect. So I designed the house, and we contracted with him to actually build it.”

Her smile nearly split her face in two. “That’s such a great story!” she marveled, climbing down from the Jeep. “And it’s wonderful that you had such a hand in it!”

“Someday I’d like to do the same at home,” he mused, as he followed her up the walkway to the front door.

“What,” she asked, looking back at him. “Design your own house?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “What I have is fine for now.” The intensity in his blue eyes seemed to pin her in place as he stood before her before opening the door. “But someday, when I have a family, we’ll want more space.” She could no longer meet his eyes. Not with the hope and yearning so plainly written there. She looked down, blushing, acutely conscious of exactly what he meant.

He opened the door for them and stepped into the foyer where they were met with three staircases. The one on the right led down, the one in front of them went up to what looked like the main living space, and the one to the left appeared to lead to the bedrooms.

“The master suite is off the main living area and kitchen. You can have that.” He nodded in the direction of the stairs in the middle. Then, indicating the staircase to the left, he continued, “That’s the guest wing. You can see the first bedroom suite there, and the stairs lead to the other.” He picked his own suitcase back up. “I’ll let you get settled, then take you on a tour?” His hopeful expression was enough to make her cheeks heat up again.

“Sure, that’s fine,” she replied. “But I’m not staying in the master suite. This is your house.” She picked up her own suitcase and passed in front of him to the first suite. Before entering, she turned back to him. “Does it matter which one I take? Do you have one that you normally stay in?”

“How did I know you were going to say that?” he asked, amusedly. “I usually stay in the one at the top. It has the best view. Besides the master, I mean. Plus the master has access to the back deck overlooking the pool. When I called Granny to let her know we were coming down, she wanted you to stay in the master.”

“You told Granny?!” she screeched, eyes wide.

“Relax, Swan,” he soothed. “She’s not gonna tell anyone else, first of all. And second of all, it is her house. I needed to let her know I was coming down so she could get groceries delivered and the maid service out here.”

At that revelation, she deflated somewhat. “Oh, okay.” She turned questioning and unsure eyes back up toward him. “You’re sure she won’t tell anyone? If this got out among the girls, I’d never hear the end of it.” She rolled her eyes, hoping that she was keeping the fear out of them and her voice. “The grapevine in the office is very healthy and well tended.” She stepped into the bedroom and gasped.

The expansive suite was tastefully decorated and well lit. There were two large windows in the opposite corner bathing the sitting area in the late morning light. She walked in and set her suitcase on the floor. She turned around to see that Killian had already left her to get unpacked and settled. The bathroom behind her had a separate sink and changing area, with the toilet and shower in the adjoining room. Coming back into the bedroom, she decided that she’d better unpack before she tried out the very comfortable looking king-size bed that took up the center of the room. If I lay down on that, I might not get up.

After unpacking and hanging up her clothes, she walked over to the windows and looked out at the gentle surf on the other side of the pool below. Giving a sigh of contentment, she walked over to the bed and sat down. She was right. The bed was insanely comfortable. She laid back and pushed her way up to the pillows that decorated it. Minutes later, she was not aware as Killian came down the stairs and stopped at her door. He smiled gently at her sound asleep on the bed before he walked away.

~*~*~

Killian looked up from his place on one of the sofas in the den when Emma walked in still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes three hours later. “Sleep well?” he chuckled. A wide smile broke out over his face as he gazed at her adorably sleep rumpled state.

“Yeah.” A grin broke out on her face, too. “I really needed that. I haven’t slept well the last couple of weeks, you know? And the flight wasn’t long enough.” The twinkle in her eye absolutely delighted him as he rose to meet her, taking her hand in his. Her hand was still warm from sleep as he squeezed it lightly.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, leading her into the kitchen. “The groceries arrived while you were asleep. We have fixings for almost anything you want. I can show you around after we eat.”

“Yeah, starving actually,” she replied. “Could I have a grilled cheese?” She looked at him a little sheepishly as she shrugged. “It’s my favorite.”

“Of course, Swan,” he agreed, easily. “We have Kraft singles, deli American, and Colby Jack sliced cheese. Which one would you like?” He opened the refrigerator and bent over as he peered inside. Looking back at her, he smirked when he spied her blushing and looking everywhere around the gourmet kitchen except at him.

“Oh, um, Kraft singles is fine,” she stuttered, finally looking back at him. “There isn’t, by any chance, a fryer is there?” She looked around again and started looking in cabinets.

“Uh, yeah,” he replied, pointing. “Next cabinet. What do you want it for?”

“Onion rings,” she declared. “Can’t have grilled cheese without onion rings. Cutting board?”

“Over there.” He indicated to the cabinets under the breakfast bar that separated the dining and bar area from the kitchen then busied himself at the stove. While the butter melted he assembled their sandwiches all the while listening to her search the cabinets for batter ingredients after getting an onion out of the pantry. They worked side by side preparing their late lunch, Emma humming a little tune under her breath. The joy he felt working with her by his side, weaving in and out from each other as they put their lunch together, could not be overstated.

They finally sat down to grilled cheese sandwiches, onion rings, and sliced tomatoes. She rolled her eyes at him when he insisted on the “real” vegetable to accompany their repast.

Settling down to their meal, an awkward silence descended. He had a feeling Emma would be less than comfortable sharing anything of importance with him at this juncture, so he decided to suggest a game. “How would you feel about playing twenty questions?” His eyebrows rose in honest inquiry as he took his first bite. Emma scoffed.

“Twenty questions? Seriously?” she challenged him with a raised eyebrow, biting into an onion ring. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head as she moaned, “Damn, I make good onion rings.”

Killian swallowed back his own moan as he adjusted himself and tried desperately to control his response to her unintentonally erotic display. “Yes, Swan,” he answered, “The point of this getaway is to get to know each other. For you to see me as just a man and not as your boss. I thought playing twenty questions would help break the ice.”

“Okay, then,” she agreed “I’ll start.” She paused for a moment, taking a bite of her sandwich while considering her first question. “When is your birthday?”

“January 26th. Yours?” He took another bite of his sandwich.

“April 12th.” Her brow furrowed as she thought of another question. “Tell me about this place. I know you said that you designed it and your friend built it, but how did Granny come by it?”

“Granny was married to Texas oil billionaire Harold Lucas. They never had any children, so when he passed, everything went to her. I don’t remember him at all. He died about a year after we came over from England when I was a baby. My parents came to America when the last of their family died. They had two little boys to raise, and they were looking for a fresh opportunity. They found it in Texas. My father worked at a company that Granny was on the board of, and she just really took a shine to him. We’d only been living here for a couple of months when she invited him and the family to celebrate Thanksgiving with her and Harold. From there, she became the Grandmother we never had.”

He paused for another bite. The memories that he was about to share with her washed over him. “She bought this island when I was five. 1989. It had a house on it, and she invited the whole family down for a week to help celebrate my starting kindergarten. The last summer fling, so to speak. Liam and I had never been to the beach so we were beside ourselves with excitement.” He looked down with a soft smile on his face. “We had a grand time that week. Liam and I had our own rooms, we spent our days playing in the surf, hunting for seashells, and feeding the gulls. Doing all the things little boys do on a private beach.” He swallowed heavily, and cast worried eyes towards his companion. He didn’t want to upset her with what he was about to reveal.

“On the way home,” he began again, “Liam and I wanted to ride with Granny. It’s more fun than with your parents, yeah?” She nodded, with a small smile on her face. “North of San Antonio, before we got to Austin, we got caught in a massive traffic tie up. Traffic was at a standstill for over an hour. Of course, to us, it was forever.” He looked over at her again. Her brow was furrowed, and he could see she was starting to put two and two together.

“It was your parents, wasn’t it?” she asked. “That’s how they were killed, and how you were raised by Granny.” Her voice was a whisper.

He shrugged. “Guess you got more in that answer than you bargained for, eh Swan?” He looked back at her with a gentle smile. “It was a long time ago. It’s been many years since I’ve come to terms with it. Don’t feel bad about bringing it up.” He covered her hand with his and gave it a gentle squeeze. “When we finally got home, Granny called them to arrange for them to come pick us up. When she didn’t get ahold of them, she got us ready for bed and tucked us in. None of us the wiser. It wasn’t the first time we had spent the night with her. When she still couldn’t get in touch with them the next morning, she called the police. She was almost immediately granted temporary custody of us given that we had no other family. It became final six months later.”

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “I’m sorry for your loss, and I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

He shook his head. “I told you not to feel bad about bringing it up, Swan. Other than that very specific case, the memories I have of coming to this island every summer, are some of the best memories of my childhood. So please, don’t beat yourself up.” He lowered his head until he could catch her eyes. He smiled gently at her again. “I’m glad I could share some of my beginnings with you.”

Emma inhaled on a shaky breath. “I was found abandoned on the steps of a fire station in Dallas. I was only a couple of days old. I bounced around between foster homes, never staying in one more than six months, until I was fourteen and assigned to Ingrid. That’s where Kelly was. For the first time in my life I was loved. I’d only been there a few months when all the other kids were assigned to other homes and Ingrid adopted me. She let me keep “Swan” as my last name because of my birthmark. The one on my hip. Maybe it was originally given to me by a social worker, but it made me think of the fairy tale The Ugly Duckling. That I was like the ugly duckling no one wanted, but maybe someday I would become a swan. Ingrid said that because it was important to me, it was important to her.She made it legal and everything, even with the formal adoption.” She looked up at him then, more tears shining in her eyes. “I know you didn’t ask, but after your story, I felt like I owed you mine.”

“Oh no, Swan,” he argued, squeezing her hand. “You didn’t owe me anything. That being said, I am glad to hear about your beginnings.” He hoped the soft smile he gave her put her at ease, as she swiped at the tears that had escaped her eyes.

She barked out a watery laugh. “What a day for tragic backstories, huh?” she asked, a smile breaking through.

“Indeed,” he agreed. “I think that’s quite enough for today. Don’t you?” He rose, taking their plates with him and made his way into the kitchen to deposit them in the sink. “How would you like a tour of the rest of the house?” he asked.

~*~*~

He led them through a doorway where the wall above and beside it was decorated with crosses. All sizes and colors, some plain, some very ornate. They made for a very pleasing aesthetic as she followed him into the short hallway beyond.

“This is the butlers pantry with powder room here,” he pointed to his right, “and laundry room here.” He pointed to his left. They came out at an open landing where she noticed metal work in the shape of palm fronds below the banister railing.

“We wanted to keep with the tropical motif, so we had that made,” Killian said as she admired the piece. “Nice touch, don’t you think?” He smiled at her before climbing the stairs to the loft.

Smiling back, she answered, “Yes, it’s a very nice touch.”

His relaxed demeanor and easy smile since they’d arrived that morning was proving to be quite effective in relaxing her as well. She could feel herself opening up to him. Unwinding in his presence. Telling him her story had revealed more about herself than she had ever revealed to anyone. Ever. Even her close friends at the office didn’t know that portion of her past. It was enough to make her want to hand in her resignation so she’d never have to face him again. She was kind of stuck here with him with no way off the island though, and besides, she had made a promise. When she’d agreed to come, she’d made him a promise that she was willing to see where this thing between them might go. She couldn’t help the fear that gripped her soul with the knowledge that he now had the power to break her. Whether she had given her permission or not, her heart now lay completely in his hands. And it was terrifying.

~*~*~

He turned back to look at her as he arrived at the top of the stairs to the loft. He could sense her pulling away from him, just in these last moments. The furrow on her brow confirmed his suspicions. Open book, he thought.

While the sharing of his story with her was a little nerve wracking and brought no small amount of heartache with it, the sharing of her story made him rejoice inside. She was finally opening up to him. She trusted him with that story. A story that was an integral part of who she was. He vowed to never make her regret sharing that part of herself with him, but as he took in her troubled visage, he concluded she was already regretting that decision.

He put his tour guide hat back on in the hopes of bringing her smile back out again. “This is the loft and office area.”

She looked around and the frown lines in her forehead disappeared. “I can’t tell you how much I love all the hardwood floors and cabinetry,” she enthused, “It’s so beautiful!” She made her way to the exercise bike with a smirk on her face. “Do you actually use this? Or is it just for show?”

He returned her smirk with one of his own. “Why, Swan,” he cooed flirtatiously, “are you wondering how I keep this lean, trim physique?” It was enough to make her blush and for her eyes to skitter away. He couldn’t help the surge of male pride that flooded him at her reaction. “I’m usually an early riser and if the temperature is comfortable outside, I’ll run on the beach. If it isn’t, I ride the bike. Notice the second one over here and the screens on them.” A delighted grin lit up his face. “When Liam and I are down here together, we’ll race. We can program in a specific route anywhere in the world. The bike will automatically adjust the tension and all that, so it’s as if we are really there, mountain biking in The Garden of the Gods in Colorado, racing along the banks of the Nile in Egypt, or screaming down the Auvergne in France.”

The grin that broke out, lit up her entire face. “Competitive, are we?” she asked, with a raised eyebrow.

He laughed. “Oh, you have no idea,” he assured her. “To this day, he calls me ‘little brother.’ Drives me up the wall.” His put upon sigh with his head thrown back was enough to have her trying to smother her giggles. Without much success. He looked back at her with puppy dog eyes. “Not you, too,” he pouted.

“Having a brother is a wonderful thing,” she chided him, her eyes and smile soft. “You should be thankful for him everyday. Even if he does call you ‘little brother.’” She let out another small giggle at that, causing his pout to melt into a soft smile.

“Oh, I do Swan. I do,” he assured her. “I just have to get back at him for it somehow. So I regularly hand his ass to him on the bike. I was always the more athletic one of the two of us.”

She wandered over to the bookshelves that covered the interior wall of the loft. Running her fingers along the spines, she found bestselling fiction next to The Art of War and a World Atlas. “Quite an eclectic reader, aren’t you?”

“Aye,” he replied. “I read voraciously growing up. Liam did, too. Granny made sure when video games were coming into their own in the ‘90’s and early 2000’s, that we spent more time reading than in front of a screen.” He chuckled warmly as his cheeks flushed with affection for his surrogate mother, grandmother, whatever.

“Let’s just test that, shall we?” she asked. “When did you read Lord of the Rings?” She crossed her arms over her chest, with a raised eyebrow.

“Ehhh…” he trailed away, with a thoughtful expression, trying to put a finger on it. “Early middle school. I’m pretty sure. Somewhere in the neighborhood of eleven or twelve.”

She stared at him, dumbfounded. “Are you kidding me?” she asked, incredulously. “I didn’t read them until I was in college. After seeing the films in the theater. And the first time I read them, I almost didn’t finish. It was just soooo detailed. It felt like I had to plow through them. I couldn’t imagine reading them when I was still a child.”

“Well, now you know a little more about me, Swan.” That had her blushing again, and looking away from him.

He went back down the stairs to the small landing that led to the cozy balcony above the front door. “This is a nice place to come outside to think when I’m working and don’t want to head all the way back downstairs to the deck.”

“Mmmmm,” Emma mused. “It does have a lovely view.”

“Not as lovely as some,” Killian murmured, under his breath. “Shall we go back inside?” he asked, opening the door for her again.

“Thank you,” she said, preceding him into the home. He followed her down the stairs trying very hard to not stare at her shapely rear as she descended in front of him.

Coming back into the living room, he crossed in front of her to the bank of windows that covered the back wall of the house. The center window was actually a door that led to the back deck. Leading the way, he opened the door for her and held it open as she came out. He couldn’t hide his satisfied smile at the look on her face. Her gasp of surprise told him that saving this spot for later in the afternoon was the right way to go. The deck covered the entire northwest side of the house and the sun was beginning its descent to the left, casting its light over the pool below, the lush greenery surrounding it, and the deck itself.

“It’s breathtaking,” she breathed.

“Yes, it is,” he agreed, looking down at her. She was too enraptured with the view to notice his unabashed appreciation. “Those doors lead to the master suite and these stairs over here will take us down to the lanai and pool.”

She all but skipped over to the stairs leading away from the deck and master suite. Her glee, evidenced by her joyful gait and the light in her eyes, filled his heart near to bursting. He had to hold back his chuckle at her squeal of delight as he descended the stairs behind her. She stood on the stone patio under the deck, wide eyed, soaking it all in.

“The grilling area is behind you,” he whispered in her ear, coming up behind her. He was gratified that she didn’t jump at his unexpected close proximity, but a slight shiver worked its way down her spine instead. He led her over to the hammock at the edge of the deck above and the pool beyond.

“I can just see you laying here in the hammock reading,” she teased him, with a smile.

“Aye,” he confirmed. “It’s one of my favorite ways to relax when I’m down here.”

“This pool is gorgeous,” she said, turning back to him. “Glad I brought my bikini,” she informed him with a saucy wink before her cheeks flushed again and she looked away. He was thoroughly charmed by her blatant flirting, especially when it was followed by adorable bashfulness.

“What makes you think you’d need the bikini, Swan,” he asked, his voice husky and a bit deeper than usual. Two could play at that game. “It is a private island after all.” He waggled his eyebrows at her, causing her to smile with an even deeper blush than the one produced after her earlier flirtation.

“Over here, we have the bar area with a full bathroom behind that door.” He continued, pointing. “That other door takes us back inside to the main house and the stairs to the foyer. Over here,” he gently grabbed her arm and led her to the far side of the lanai, “is a natural stone waterfall. I’m particularly proud of it, because not only did I design it, but I built it as well.”

“It’s so beautiful,” she agreed. “So restful. Having running water and all this green around the pool, it’s a wonder you ever come inside,” she murmured.

“We can eat dinner out here tonight, if you’d like,” he proposed. “We have steaks for grilling.”

Her face lit up again with the brightest of smiles. “That sounds great,” she exclaimed. She swayed closer to him and looked up at him from under her lashes. “Bring a girl to a private island and cook her a steak dinner… think you’re gonna get lucky tonight?” She placed her hand on his chest where his heart was trying its best to thump its way out of his chest.

She was obviously getting more comfortable around him for her to be flirting with him like this. Even if she did seem to be a little unsure and hesitant about it. This time though, he was the one flushing with awareness. “Oh, uh, well,” he stammered, scratching behind his ear. It was a nervous tic that he’d had all his life and even at the age of thirty, he couldn’t seem to stop doing it when he was nervous. “That is entirely up to you, Swan.” He got his wits about him and bore his eyes into hers, bringing his own hand up to cover her own. “I know how I feel, and what I want to come from this getaway. But I’ll wait for you as long as you need.” He raised his other hand and caressed her cheek lightly.

His eyes held hers for a long moment more before he backed away to break the spell. “Well, that’s everything besides the master suite and my bedroom,” he declared. “Would you like to see either of those, or should we go ahead and start on dinner?”

“I’d really like to see the master suite,” she answered. “And yours too, if you didn’t mind. Everything is just so beautiful. I want to see it all.”

“Of course, Swan,” he agreed. “I’ll be glad to show you whatever you like.” He opened the door for her, leading to the stairs to the main level of the house.

“I put the master suite on this side, away from the other bedrooms thinking about the future with kids and grandkids staying here.” He grew wistful at the prospect then shook himself out of his reverie to continue. “And of course, there’s room to build another house or two on the island, so the entire family can come down and have their own spaces. As well as expansion opportunities for this house, if needed.”

Emma nodded as she followed behind him to the master suite. When she entered, she gasped again. As he came to stand beside her, she slapped him on the arm.

“Bloody hell, woman! What was that for?” he exclaimed, rubbing his arm as if she had punched him.

“For bringing me here, and showing me all this, and doing such a beautiful job on it, and, and…” tears shone in her eyes as she looked up at him. “I’ve never seen… I’ve never been to a place as beautiful as this. And for you to be the one to design and have a hand in building it… it’s just… a little overwhelming. That you would share this part of yourself with me.”

~*~*~

She could feel the blush spreading over her cheeks. Again. Why couldn’t she bring herself under control? At least he was blushing too, and scratching behind his ear again. That made her feel a little bit better. He was as nervous about showing this part of himself to her as she was about sharing her past with him.

She looked back at the master suite and caught her breath yet again. She moved further into the room and looked out at the deck. The suite had its own private access, and she couldn’t help swooning over the luxury of the design. The windows in the opposite corners of the room from the door let in an abundance of the late afternoon light. The room felt peaceful, a haven away from the cares of everyday life bathed in the glow of the setting sun.

She turned her eyes back toward him to see him making his way to where she stood looking at the deck. She wished that he would come up behind her, take her in his arms, pull her back against his chest, and just hold her while they watched the sun set. She shook her head at her fanciful musings. He’d never be that forward with her. Not yet anyway. It was one thing to flirt and indulge in casual, light touches. It was quite another to engage in that kind of behavior. The kind reserved for lovers.

She turned back to the deck and let out a breath she hadn’t been aware she’d been holding. “It’s just so beautiful, breathtaking” she breathed. She could feel the heat radiating off of his body as he stood behind her. Turning to him, her eyes caught his as a small smile teased his lips. “Thank you for bringing me here, for showing me this.” She looked up at him again. “For showing me you. The real you.”

“You’re quite welcome, Swan,” he murmured. His azure gaze held her captive as she reached for him and drew him down to her mouth. The kiss was gentle. A tentative exploration of lips and tongues. She pulled him closer and rose on her toes to meet him as she held him in her arms.

~*~*~

Killian was stunned when her lips met his. It only took a moment, however, for him to recover and meet her tentative overtures with his own. Her trepidation and uncertainty were on full display in the hesitancy with which she kissed him, and the shaking he could feel in her limbs. He pulled her to him and determined to let her lead as far as she was comfortable. He opened his mouth to her and groaned in the back of his throat as she accepted the invitation to deepen the kiss. One arm wrapped around her even tighter as the other hand rose to tangle in her golden locks. They rocked together as the waves of the sea, a gentle push and pull of discovery and passion. He was quite thoroughly wrecked when he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers.

“That was…” he whispered.

“Definitely not a one time thing,” she murmured back, trying to catch her breath. She stepped out of his arms and sent him a coy look from underneath her lashes. “So, let’s see the rest of the house, shall we?”

“We shall, Swan,” he replied, swallowing heavily. Turning toward the room, he pointed to the opposite corner. “The master bath is through there.” He followed her into the bathroom and was gratified to see the wide eyed amazement on her face as she took in the natural stone and marble accented bath. He whispered into her ear, “The bathtub is a whirlpool and holds two.” He waggled his eyebrows at her as she blushed furiously and tried to suppress her giggles.

“Well then, we may have to try it… later,” she flirted back.

He couldn’t hold back his grin at her statement. He led the way back into the suite and living room, before letting her precede him down the stairs to the guest wing. Passing her own room, she turned to him.

“I love my room. The bed was incredibly comfortable. I might need you to tell me what kind of mattress that was so I can get one for myself.” She continued up the stairs to the final room of the house. “Ohhh,” she breathed. “You weren’t kidding when you said this one had the best view,” she exclaimed.

The viewing angle to the pool and beach with deck below was even better than in her room and with the sun already behind the greenery surrounding the pool, the entire oasis was steeped in an artificial twilight that would become full dark in just another hour or so. Just enough time to get the steaks cooked.

“Well, that’s everything, Swan.” He motioned back toward the rest of the house. “What say you we collect those steaks and fire up the grill?”

“Sounds good.” Her eyes danced with undisguised delight as she led him out of the room and down the stairs. “I love me a good steak dinner. What kind of steaks are they?” she tossed over her shoulder.

“New York Strips,” he answered her with a chuckle. “Bigger and juicier with more meaty flavor then a tenderloin,” he continued, with a salacious grin and waggling eyebrows. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs outside her own room.

“Oh really?” she purred, as he joined her. “I do like my meat to be big and flavorful. It’s just so much more satisfying then.” The sultry look she gave him to accompany her flirting was enough to have his pants tightening uncomfortably. He released a chuckle as she turned away from him and headed back up the stairs to the main floor. The sway of her hips made him want to run to catch up with her and pull her to him to let her know exactly how she affected him.

The minx is going to be the death of me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After an excellent steak dinner accompanied by a heaping dose of flirting and innuendo and rounded out by an excellent Cabernet Sauvignon with a turtle cheesecake for dessert, Killian rose from the table. “Would you like to dance, Swan?” he asked, in all seriousness, holding his hand out to her.

She smiled gently at him as she laid her hand in his. “I’d love to,” she agreed, as he fiddled with his phone until soft music surrounded them from unseen speakers. She looked around in mild confusion as he drew her into his arms. “Where is the music coming from?”

“Hidden bluetooth speakers.” He chuckled at her wide eyed appreciation. They swayed slowly to the music just content to be in each others arms. Being held in the arms of the man she loved like this was better than she could have imagined. Her heart thundered in her chest as he tightened his arms around her and she laid her head on his shoulder. She broke out into a smile when she took a long inhale into the crook of his neck that made him shiver. The minutes passed in silence between them until the song changed to a waltz. She’d never done any ballroom dancing before, so the rhythm threw her off.

“Uh, I don’t...” she began, trying to pull away from him.

“It’s a waltz, Swan,” he interjected. “There’s only one rule,” he continued, drawing her more tightly into his arms, his eyes lit up with affection, “Pick a partner who knows what he’s doing.” He began to lead her in a simple box three step. His smile as he held her when she finally looked up at him after staring at their feet for most of the song, rivaled the sun at noon.

“Watch the mocking,” she pouted, “I think I may be getting the hang of this.” She looked back up into his sparkling blue eyes.

“I’m not mocking you, Swan. You’re doing just fine. You appear to be a natural.” He tightened his arm around her as the song changed again until she was fully pressed against him, from shoulder to knee.

They swayed together again, just barely moving. She could feel his arms flex around her, holding her close, making her feel safe. She rested her head on his shoulder again and her eyes drifted shut as they continued to sway to the music. A calm spread through her limbs like nothing she had ever felt before. The calm assurance that she was safe with him. Not just physically safe, but that her heart was safe with him. She thought back to the lunch with M’s, Belle, Ruby, and Tina. Remembering the discussion about soulmates and True Love. She looked up at him again, as she pulled away slightly.

“I have only been in love once before,” she whispered. He looked down into her eyes but remained silent. “His name was Neal and I met him when I was a sophomore in college.” His piercing gaze held her steady as the memories and pain washed over her. “I fell hard and fast. He was the first man to ever really pay me any attention and I was completely under his spell.” Her audience gave her an encouraging nod to continue when she paused to take a shaky breath.

“Over the course of the semester, I gave him everything I was. My virginity, my autonomy, my self-determination. My life became his, my wants and desires became his, my decisions became his, my body became his.” She shuddered remembering how thoroughly she had lost herself in that relationship. “I truly believed that he loved me as I loved him and that we would be together forever, so what did it matter that I completely isolated myself from my mom, my friends, my coworkers?”

Tears filled her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Not for him. He wasn’t worth a single one. Tears for the naive, trusting girl that she had been and was now lost forever though, was another story.

“When I got back to campus after Christmas, the truth came out.” Her voice broke and she choked back a sob. “I walked into my dorm to find him in bed with my roommate.” She wiped a tear away that had escaped. “He wasn’t the man I thought he was and I got my heart broken.” His attention never wavered and the myriad of emotions he was feeling paraded themselves across his countenance as she finished her story.

“I’m glad to hear that, Emma,” he said, finally breaking the silence.

“You’re glad to hear I had my heart broken?” she asked, unable to disguise the hurt in her voice.

His finger traced the bottom of her chin as he lifted her face towards his. “If it can be broken,” he said, gently, “that means it still works. Even if it has been a really long time.” She stared into his eyes, catching her breath at the honesty and longing contained within. The silence stretched between them until she raised herself onto her toes and brushed his lips with hers.

He groaned as he pulled her flush with him and took possession of her mouth, plundering her as if he were a pirate of old and she was his greatest treasure. He lifted her in his arms as she tightened her arms around his shoulders and plunged her hands in his raven locks. His tongue as he stroked hers lit a fire within that threatened to consume her. His hands caressed the soft curves of her body until she melted into him with a moan that if she cared at all would be far too loud for the public setting of their dalliance. Even if they were on a private island.

Holding him tightly to her, her back met a solid surface and her hands began to slide over his body. She felt his strong shoulders, then his long, lean torso. The muscles there flexed from his exertions and the exploration of her fingers. Lifted off her feet, she wrapped her legs around his hips and crossed her ankles in the small of his back, bringing his hips flush to her core. He thrust his clothed hips into hers in time with the strokes of his tongue in her mouth. The inferno that raged within her veins melted her very insides as she succumbed to the exquisite pleasure of his ministrations. The dizziness brought on by the assault of his lips and hands overwhelmed her as his hand worked its way underneath her blouse to trace along her ribs until it cupped a breast, his fingers plucking at her nipple until it was at full hardness and screamed for his mouth.

Emma wrenched her lips from his on a moan. “Please,” she begged him.

“Please what, Swan?” he inquired, pressing tender kisses into her jaw and neck as he worked his way down into the valley between her breasts.

“Please,” she moaned thrusting her hips into his as much as she could while pinned to the column behind her. He pulled back until his eyes met her own. The clear blue was almost completely eclipsed by his blown pupils. She imagined that hers were much the same.

“Bed,” she whispered into the space between them.

He gave a small nod, then got her settled more securely in his arms. “Hold on tight, love,” he murmured before lifting her away from the column. She wrapped herself more tightly around him as he moved towards the stairs that would take them to the deck above and the main level of the house. Her lips found his pulse point and latched on as he climbed the stairs, nipping and sucking before soothing the area with her tongue. The groan that he let out encouraged her to continue. “I’m liable to drop you, Swan,” he complained, “if you don’t stop that for just a moment. Let me at least get off the stairs…” he trailed away as she released a chuckle into his skin. He opened the door into the living room as her lips claimed his again.

One hand left her ass as he sought the bannister to the stairway to the guest suite. “Awwww,” she teased, releasing his lips, “am I too distracting, sir, that you can’t make your way to a bedroom?”

The growl that he let loose as they entered her bedroom sent a shiver of desire down her spine. “I’ll show you distracted, woman.” He threw her down on the bed. His eyes were predatory as she shuffled her way up to the head of the bed and he climbed up, hovering over her. “How’s this for distracted?” He lowered himself to her and nuzzled into where her neck joined her collar. Her head lolled back to grant him greater access. “My beautiful Swan deserves my full and prompt attention,” he murmured, thrusting his hips into hers and devouring the skin at the base of her neck.

Moaning, she pulled him back up to her lips with a force that caused him to fall completely on top of her. Her legs opened as he claimed her mouth again, allowing him to settle in the cradle of her thighs. Her hips met his in a sensuous dance that was as primal and possessive as the one they both longed for. The roll of his hips hit her just right and after just a few thrusts into her clothed center, an orgasm unexpectedly crashed over her. Groaning into his mouth, she shuddered in his arms, coming down from her high while their lips and tongues continued to duel.

Without any warning, he stiffened above her, letting out a stream of unintelligible curses as he rolled off of her. With obvious reluctance, he sat up and moved away from her on the bed. “Sorry about that. I uh… got a little carried away.” He turned slightly towards her, cheeks and the tops of his ears aflame.

“I thought that was the idea,” she choked out, trying to make some sense of what was going on. The fire that he had lit under her skin demanded satisfaction, but she had to bring herself back to some semblance of sanity. She lay on the bed for the longest time still trying to pull herself together.

Tension rolled off him in waves as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Believe me, please. This is not easy to say.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “You don’t want me?” She hated herself for how small and vulnerable she sounded at that moment.

“No, Swan,” he exclaimed. “God no!” He grabbed her hand and brought it to where he was hard and thick. His eyes rolled in the back of his head at her touch. “Does that feel like I don’t want you, darling?” he asked, his eyes finally meeting hers.

She blushed furiously. “No,” she whispered.

He released her hand and she snatched it back to her side as if burned. “Don’t ever doubt, Swan, that I want you.”

“Then what’s going on?”

He released a resigned sigh. “Something’s not right. It’s not time yet.”

She stared at him as if he had grown a second head. “It’s not time yet? Are you kidding me?” she asked, incredulously.

“I know! I KNOW!” he growled. “Believe me, I know! I’m not happy about this either.” His shoulders slumped in despondency. “I’m afraid we’re moving too fast. I mean,” he beseeched her, “you didn’t even agree to come with me on this trip until about fifteen hours ago. Being on this beautiful island, exchanging our stories, it can make for a very heady combination. I don’t want you to regret anything in the morning,” he whispered.

He was right. And she hated that he was right. Her body was telling her she wouldn’t regret a thing, but she knew herself. She knew she could very well wake up in the morning and blame the romance of the island for falling into bed with him so quickly.

“Tell me I’m wrong, Swan.”

“I want to,” she spat, struggling to hold back the tears that were gathering. “But you’re not.”

“I’m sorry, Swan,” he lamented, standing up from the bed. “I truly am. I think it’s best if we wait, though.”

Emma nodded, but refused to look at him. Despite his assurances, she couldn’t stop the humiliation at feeling rejected from sweeping over her.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” he mumbled before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Unable to contain her tears any longer, she let them fall as she let out a muffled scream of frustration into the nearest pillow and then chucked it at the closed door. She got under the comforter wanting him, hating him, and loving him more than ever.

#Time and Again #ch6 #cs fanfic #cs modern au #krystal writes #art by krystal

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operationoverdrive · 7 years ago

Text

power morphicon diary (2018)

twitter thread with pics and such ✨✨✨

now to recap the greatest weekend of my life:

brennan mejia (tyer, dino charge red)

the first ranger i met, his line was always really long i love my relevant king. i was shaking and speechless pearl had to speak for me, she told him i loved all latinx rangers and he said “good!”. he told us everyone got to keep 8 items from the set and he kept his energem, tyler’s boots, his dad’s bracelet, tyler’s red puffy vest (for me ofc), and other stuff idr because he was so beautiful i was physically unable to breathe.

later kat was reminiscing and said “i can’t believe azim had a mental breakdown because of us” and we turned the corner and a voice said “azim had a mental breakdown” GUESS WHO IT WAS! we all screamed, kat ran back around the corner but we all did end up in the elevator together and he was very chill even tho we were all wrecks

selwyn ward (tj, turbo red/in space blue)

idr planning to get a pic with selwyn but he has a magnetic forcefield that draws people to him and no one was in his line so he talked to us for a while and asked if we preferred turbo or space and which episode was our fave and he actually remembered the plot of mine (the curve ball). he was tight-lipped when we asked if he was in the anniversary even tho we pointed out a pic of him and chrysti was posted (BY HIM), it was so adorable he was squirming so much.

later we saw him while waiting for our car and we SCREAMED and he rushed right over and gave us all hugs and told us to make sure to come see him (he corrected himself when he saw pearl and remembered we’d already been)

brandon jay mclaren (jack, spd red)

i asked him to sign a marriage license and he almost died laughing, he was so happy. fyi he has never been proposed to by a fan before so @everyone in the world i need you to step it the fuck up

jorge vargas / adam tuominen (blake and hunter, ninja storm navy and crimson)

my first sighting of them was while we were waiting for our tickets and they were going to check in, as soon as i recognized jorge i screamed my lungs out and he was utterly bewildered but he waved while adam was living for it. everyone around me looked at me like we did NOT just see the actors of our generation and i chastised them all for failing at life. when they came back around jorge had his phone out to film the crowd and i screamed even louder and he waved really big and BLEW A KISS IN MY DIRECTION AND I ASCENDED TO HEAVEN

when i finally was able to meet them to take pics pearl had to drag me over and she immediately let jorge know i was his biggest fan and was the girl who shrieked every time she saw him. he came right around and gave me a big hug!!!! i couldn’t really talk to him for long nor do i remember what we talked about because i mean how do you hold yourself together in front of someone that means so much to you??? YOU DON’T THAT’S HOW!

it was easier to talk to adam bc i could actually remember how to breathe. he told us jorge was the second oldest in the cast even tho he was supposed to be hunter’s baby brother so it was a strange contradiction but he loved playing an older brother. he said he and jorge hung out just the two of them alot to strengthen their bond (i asked if they got drunk together and he laughed and said “well i wasn’t gonna say it but yes”. i told him hunter was a pink ranger and he laughed and said “Yea first male pink ranger!!!”

i saw them again when we were in line for the atm and this time they definitely recognized me and waved really big i love those thunder punks

megaforce panel

this was the only panel i went to bc pr fans don’t know how to act so they’re all boring or frustrating but thankfully the megacast is charming as hell and made every second entertaining and engaging

andrew and christina were late but when christina walked in i guess we screamed really loud because when she asked if we missed her john mark said “yes the christina masterson fan club is right there” and pointed to our group in the crowd

some fan asked them about the vrak is back two parter and the entire cast was like scrambling to remember if that was even an episode of their series, azim started talking about fight scenes and crates and confused vrak with vekar so i decided to yell that its the episode where robo knight dies and cameron was like “that must’ve been an episode my morpher was coincidentally turned off” and i was like “no you dummy you were kidnapped! orion was sleeping beauty!!” and he cracked up. john mark told me to calm down.

i asked christina if she prepared or studied anything about photography since emma is very passionate about it and she said her boyfriend at the time was a photographer and she was a model so she knew some basics and became a photographer herself

tracy lynn cruz (ashley, turbo/in space yellow)

even tho we were second in line we had to wait FOREVER bc some dude kept asking her about monsters. we ended up talking to her son who was helping with her booth and he was really nice! her husband was also there and wearing her merch it was so cute! i told tracy she needed to start a fashion line based on ashley’s wardrobe and when i almost forgot my debit card she told me “oh wait i can use this to start my fashion business”

davi santos (ivan, dino charge gold)

quite possible my favorite interaction of the entire con??? we approached him right as he arrived so we were the first to meet him! pearl and i were basically gushing as soon as we made it to the table and he was so confused bc we kept talking at the same time. i congratulated him on the new show and he said he hopes we all enjoy it. his booth was so cute, he was selling energems but the signs specifically said “zandarian energems” and his sign advertising his social media said “thine twitter, thine instagram, thine facebook” bc he’s a fucking NERD. he let me wear his jacket which was real and from the show, specifically from the episode sync or swim where they made a bunch of replica’s bc of the scene where they have to ruin it. he also kept his glasses on bc i asked him if we could be glasses twins and did ivan’s famed duck mouth selfie with me. then he hugged me and i died

azim rizk (jake, megaforce black/super mega green)

he recognized us as soon as we approached his booth and said he noticed our little “cluster” because we were so loud at the panel dkhgfmdg. he was literally the easiest person to talk to i could’ve spent all day talking about megaforce and how much i love it with just him. he was selling jake pins for FIVE DOLLARS and i told him to raise his prices bc he is hashtag worth it and also to make jake hoodies (he was wearing his one from the show!) and sell them and we would all be his investors. we were holding each other for the pic and he looked right at me and his face was really close so i screamed “omhy god don’t look at me” and he was like “oh sorry” so yea gia moran found dead in a ditch

the second time we saw him pearl recapped here

at one point when we were chilling behind his booth cameron was like ??? and i was like “we’re his security team please don’t look him directly in the eye” and he laughed. azim literally could not stop hugging us he was so cuddly and soft!!!!!!! he also told us he brought his spandex with him and if it would be Too Much if he put them on and were like no bitch that would be the best thing ever why is no one else doing it, but then i called him a nerd when he actually ended up wearing it just bc we told him too and he was like “Yes.”

christina The Main Event masterson (emma, megaforce/super mega pink)

my darling my angel my being of light the sweetest human to ever live, she was so kind and easygoing but the first time i met her i could not speak. the first time my brain turned to slime so i think all i told her was that emma was my favorite ranger of all time and i loved her so much and pearl brought up all the times emma kicked ass and i think i interjected with “the halloween baking episode!” and she said she didn’t like that episode bc emma didn’t get to dress up. pearl asked what emma would’ve been and she said a monarch butterfly we stan an intellectual

i took a second pic with her bc i am That Emma Stan aka i bought a child-sized megaforce pink t-shirt and squeezed into it just for the aesthetic. i was better about speaking this time and told her i loved her syfy movies truth or dare but how dare she make me watch her awful death scene, she told me her dad also hated that scene but we talked about how we loved that her character chose to take her destiny into her own hands. when i brought up zombie shark she cringed a little but i told her i thought it was a fun movie and she said she loved playing a shark. i asked if she got tips from john mark since he’s a shark ranger and she said “as if”, she and ciara had also commandeered all the boys’ helmets for some reason it was adorable. i told her the girls rightfully owned them anyway and she smiled. they were so many babies in line for the girls and they kept calling them by their character names it was the most heartwarming thing ever to hear a small child squeak out “hey gia!” I LVOE POWER RANGERS MEGAFROCE

hector david jr. (mike, samurai green)

first saw him at the valet and kat is the one who pointed him out like “He....” and we all started screaming and as he gains life from such activities he immediately rushed over and gave us all a huge group hug bc he is an angel sent from heaven

he was announced like one hour before the con so they literally just shoved him into najee’s booth it was so funny bc all the merch was blue ranger (i got a kevin t-shirt!) and hector’s one green ranger helmet. i told hector to sell me the shirt off his back and he said he’d think about it since it matched my outfit kdnhnkd. he kept doing flips and jumping over the table bc he’s part grasshopper i guess. when kat took her picture we had to wait while he did a flip and kat asked najee what was up with him and najee was like “thats just hector” lmao. i asked hector why he and brittany were the only rangers that didn’t get an intro scene where their helmets flashed and he said it all just boiled down to the writing but that we haven’t seen the last of mike and he wants to come as a villain so i’m like 👀🔍📝 noted. when we took our pic i l layed my head on his shoulder and he said “my prom date right here” and morphicon became little mix’s love me like you mv as he also agreed to be ben’s prom date i love hector david jr with all my heart. again SO MANY BABIES IN LINE FOR THE SAMURAI RANGERS!!! the kid ahead of us asked if the samurizer that najee had was real or was it a toy CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE

anna hutchison (lily, jungle fury yellow)

while in line for the atm we saw her entering and i screamed “we love you anna!” and she waved and smiled at us she’s so ethereal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kat and i were the first (paying) people in line, she had lily figurines all over her table i love jungle fury’s number one stan. she is literally the sweetest person ever and so engaging. kat told her it was an absolute power move that she wore red instead of yellow and anna said she did it so she could lead the morph for once, i told her that lily could absolutely lead in yellow just fine and she laughed and agreed. when we were taking our pic kat mentioned how i didn’t like how some of my previous pics had turned out and anna said she’d wait until i signed off on them and we could retake them if i didn’t like them QUEEN OF CHARITY!! her handler was...really bad and the pics came out all shaky as soon as we saw them she and i exchanged looks and anna was like “uh yeah let’s try again” i still didn’t like how they came out but i stayed quiet the second time bc i was grateful enough to be in the presence of a literal heavenly being. she asked what other parts of the convention we were looking forward too and i told her she was the main event because we had been waiting for her all day and she hugged me!!! blonde yellow rangers respect ur leader

andrew gray (troy, megaforce/super mega red)

this man printed out an article that explained why super megaforce was the strongest team in power rangers history and cited it during the panel fuck everyone else i RESPECT HIM. when we came up to his booth i picked up the article and said he should have it on display and he told me i could keep the paper copy because he had A PRESERVED DISPLAY COPY ANDREW LOVES MEGAFORCE MORE THAN ANYONE. he was also the epitome of beauty and has the most intense nature about him so it was hard to think of things to say. i just told him i loved troy and he said “that’s cool man”, a chill legend. when we did our photo op he kept trying to talk to us and asked to see how the pic turned out a few times but my mouth just could not form words around him, years of academy training wasted.

katrina browne / katrina devine (marah and kapri, ninja storm)

literally the most excited and affectionate ladies at the con they were so happy to talk to people i told them that marah and kapri were the greatest villainesses of all time. they were so adorable and didn’t know what i was talking about when i said “let’s do the charlie’s angels pose!” so i had to show them. it was their first con and i asked them to please come back and they said it was so much fun so they really wanted to!

jack guzman (danny, wild force black)

he made a Comment and had me like ..........................give me my money back, but i got a cool danny jacket and i love it and i love danny delgado what’s a jock gizmo

mike ginn / li ming hu (gem and gemma, rpm silver and gold)

APPARENTLY my snake friends told mike ginn about me and how much i loved gem and gemma and how excited i was to meet them but that i was really shy around my faves so when he came over to take the pic and i told him my name he was like “omg you’re shy tabby!” and i immediately died. he kept trying to tell me it was okay and i was just giggling so much and trying to fake run away and li ming told mike to stop embarrassing me it was so cute. he asked for a hug to calm me down and he was so gentle i love him.

later when kat and i walked past mike’s booth he yelled “hey there’s tabby!” I HATE HMI SO MCUH WHY IS HE LIEK THIS

karan ashley (aisha, mmpr yellow)

she was selling so much merch we stan an entrepreneurial queen. i told her that i stan all mexican rangers and she said “yes i love that!”. she hugged me and told me that she loved that i was Ready with my cute pose and i told her it’s bc she emits cuteness energy and i thrived off of it but she said it came from me so i guess you could say we’re dating

other sightings

mike chat (chad, lightspeed blue): was hanging out at the beast morphers unveiling and i saw him and was like....,,,,,.,.,.oh myog do........ITC HAD!!!!!!!! but he had like a ring of handlers around him and the panel was going on and he wasn’t there as an official guest (he trained those auditioning for beast morphers including the 3 cast!!) so i didn’t approach him but he was wearing an all blue suit so thank you for my life

cerina vincent (maya, lost galaxy yellow): saw her as she was walking to the con and she recognized us when she saw me and kat standing in another line she’s literally sunshine personified

kevin kleinberg (trip, time force green): a bunch of people got into the elevator and it got too full for us but i noticed one of the men looked familiar and then it hit me “OH MYGOD YOU’RE KEVIN KLEINBERG ITS KEVIN KLEINBERG!” he smiled real big and waved and told me he liked my shirt (megaforce) as the doors closed, then i reminded everyone it was trip from time force and no one but me is valid

alycia purrott (syd, spd pink) +2: i talked to her while kat was getting her pic and asked why a full version of syd’s hit single was never released and she said she’d love to get hands on the original recording. i told her that it’d be the perfect SPD reunion if they all shot a music video together and she agreed. kat met all the spd rangers so i also spoke a bit to matt austin (bridge) and chris violette (sky) and matt said chris stole his poster design from greg and i said “that’s such a sky move” and he cracked up. i asked chris if he was having fun at the con and he said of course but i told him he didn’t have to lie and he gave me a look and said “i know right” and laughed, the spd cast is so funny

i also saw will shewfelt eating lunch, he was with his entire family which was adorable that they all came to see him at his power ranger event and his brother looks EXACTLY like him but tiny

anyway i love morphicon and power rangers and the hell clique and all you pr fans need to step it up and ask better questions at panels and be nicer to the actors and also do research and learn all their faces so ur not looking around wondering why i am screaming my head off because some lady passed by (IT WAS KARAN ASHLEY YOU UNGRATEFUL BRATS!!!!!)

can it be 2020 now?

#power morphicon 2018

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varney-sioux · 2 years ago

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37 days until my top surgery... And... Oof... My anxiety is overwhelming. How does one cope with this anxiety? I've been looking for apps and resources. I was recommended actually to start looking on Tumblr, which I'm not sure why I hadn't thought of, but I decided to come on here again. In other news, I'm in gender affirming group therapy now, my parents still don't really support my transition at all and kind of ignore that it's happening in hopes that it'll go away. I'm a little concerned about my dad's reaction to me coming to visit with something missing is going to be, because they're bound to notice sometime. I stay there allot when I can't be home alone while my bf is at work. They have the ability to see. Even if I slowly work down like I'm planning (I've been binding when I'm over there, and I'm maybe going to wear padding after? Idk and then get slowly flatter). He's just been a little irrational lately and I'm not exactly sure it would be the safest thing to just jump right into atm. But also I'm not about to wait even longer for top surgery just because my dad's being an asshole. Also I'm 2 years on T as of August. I forget if I posted. My brain is a little scrambled lately. But if anyone has resources on pre top surgery or recommendations for things for anxiety, apps, etc. Any recovery tips too. Really anything top surgery related that can help me feel less anxious. Send them my way. It would be greatly appreciated.

#ftm #transmasculine #trans man #top surgery #transmasc #pre top surgery

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sweetestest-ninja · 7 years ago

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What’s going on with me?

Hi, guys. Just wanted to finally get down on a post all the current crap I’m dealing with these days so everyone is up to speed. With that said, I’m going to go ahead and give you guys a quick warn for gross medical stuff, self deprecation, and just general me being a Depression Devin. That’s assuming that anything I write will make any gd sense because my eggs are a little bit scrambled atm.

If there’s anything I want you guys to take away from my stupid bullshit story it’s that you should LISTEN to your body when it’s trying to tell you things!!! Do not be like Scout, who knew I had a problem for months before seeking treatment, which probably just made it worse.

I’ve had an ingrown toenail since early May (maybe April), and for weeks did nothing. Even though I do hard mechanical work and I’m on my feet a lot on my job. Even when I was coming home every day with socks soaked in blood, I was still like “Nah, it’s probably fine.” It wasn’t until the blood started fusing the fabric to my socks and it actually hurt to take them off that actually started even using bandaids.

So of course when I finally was able to go to the doctor’s while my mom was here, I found out that it was infected and that I needed to get part of the nail surgically removed (it was sticking like an inch into my flesh and it was so gross and terrifying I legit saved it so I could remember how much of a dumbass I was for years to come). But, even worse, I found out that because of the nature of my work and the fact that I’m required to wear work boots, I’ll have to also stay out of work for the next 2-3 weeks while I try to recover.

This, of course, is fucking bad. My job pays extremely well, but at the end of the day, it’s an hourly wage. Meaning that while I’m out sick, I won’t be able to get any kind of pay at all for nearly a month. So that is... of course. Hella bad. My best chance is to try to fight with my insurance company, but the main insurance we have doesn’t kick in for two weeks (meaning only one at most will be compensated by them) and I’ve been getting nowhere trying to find who does the short term disability for my work place so far.

Despite the fact that this definitely isn’t a GOOD thing, I’m lucky enough to be super paranoid and have lots of rainy day funds in my bank account so I don’t think I’ll need any help from you guys financially, at least not for a while. And if it ever got that bad, I could also always ask my family for help first instead of bothering you guys.

My mom has even offered to buy me plane tickets to go back home with her so that I won’t be all alone in Boston for three weeks with nothing to do and no one to rely on, should I need help with anything. I’ll probably go next week, since I don’t feel confident that everything has been sorted out with my work just yet.

So, yeah. More stress. More bad feelings. All that kind of shit. I’m not sure what my activity will be like in the coming weeks because, while I now have ample time to RP, I’m not sure if my terminal case of Sad Brain will let me do anything that requires thought. Really, I kind of just wish I could just sleep the entire time and wake up once things are already solved. But of course life doesn’t work like that.

If you read all of that, I’m sorry about the state of my mind. I’ll try to get my shit together soon. I’ll let you guys know if there are any big updates or if I need help with anything, but until then.

#ooc #/negative #/vent

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survivor-iceland · 5 years ago

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Ep. 3 - “hopefully failure does not turn into fracture” - John

Dylan C

oh nvm, it was Jack lol

Timmy

I was half a second from muting Ellie on my own during the tribal. Also JACK LEFT 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

John

first vote, check. first blindside, check. feels good knowing i helped spearhead the vote flip from stephen onto jack, but if jack comes back he might be out for blood. luckily enough for us worms, the vote morphed into a 7/1 landslide, so he might come after maynor or stephen or keith before me and my peeps. but only time will tell.

Timmy

ELLIE DRINK WATER CHALLENGE, DO THAT CHALLENGE

Keith John

Last night was a tough vote. Jack made people paranoid. Even though i wanted him to stay. No one in my alliance felt easy with him. Even though i wanted jack around as he was good in chllenge and wanted to work with me. But it is what it is.

Raffy

I finally managed to get into an alliance with Ellie and Timmy. Though it is not the biggest, I feel confident that these two will serve me well, at least in the premerge. It's called the Just Go For It Alliance, courtesy of Timmy. And we almost got caught forming it because of Cormac which is iconic. Speaking of him, I don't really know what to make of him. He's very... weird. Like it's hard talking to him, but I feel the same way about Keith so whatever. Plus, I don't really trust Cormac considering he basically made a day 1 alliance with two people on my tribe and Sierra. I need to keep an attentive eye on him.

Ellie

I am so immensely thankful for the tribe call last night. It was filled with things I needed to hear, of course we joked around with the fact that I can’t turn on a stove but I was also so thankful for the amazing people in the call making sure that I take care of myself which I haven’t been doing lately. Life has been really hard on me and it feels like a never get a break, sometimes I neglect taking care of myself because I feel that I physically and mentally can’t. I function on caffeine and I get 2-5 hours of sleep on a good night. Last night was kind of a wake up call because I learned that I am putting myself in danger by neglecting myself and my needs. It was really hard for me to accept that but I feel like I have bonded with these people BEYOND the game, they feel like my family now. Life sucks and I get really unmotivated sometimes and can’t bring myself to get out of bed or even eat, but I’ve gotten a lot better and I hope to continue getting better and the people in that call have already played a huge part in that by motivating me to care about my wellbeing and take care of myself, I will always be thankful for that.

Raffy

I feel like I am bonding well with people? It's hard to get a read on some of them, but I think it's fine for now. Other than that, John came up to me asking for a game bond that I thought we already have. Either way, that seems to be my way into an alliance with him. Hopefully we can grow our numbers and build a trustworthy yet powerful group. We're suspecting a swap pretty soon so I hope that I've bonded with the right people in order to be successful.

Dylan C

I haven’t been socializing enough lately with anyone, and wasn’t going to today but then today was Yikes so. I did miss the tribe call for the challenge because I was on the phone with my friend. Maybe I could’ve made it but eh. Hopefully that one point isn’t going to make or break us. And if it did, well I’ve also done a lot for this challenge already soooo

Ellie

I’m going to be picking flour out of my eyebrows for days

Raffy

I hope we win the challenge. I'm kind of scared that so many things were left blank, but this has got to be enough

Dylan C

BITCH

several of us on this tribe were just on a call saying we didn't wanna vote anyone out smh

I keep agreeing when people say they can't come up with a name for tribal but I do actually have one in mind. I'd say Justin since he seems to be around somewhat less, but it's still not great. I mean, I'd rather not vote anyone

So I've talked with Raffy and Joseph and they agree w/Justin. Haven't specifically mentioned names with anyone else. Ellie says she's just going to listen, and not throw out any names. Also didn't ask my thoughts lol. I'll expand on this more when I record my next video confessional

Timmy

Ughhh we lost, I say we but like I did nothing for the challenge so I was a big contributor to the loss. But now people want justin out and like Justin wants to work with me so I’m not here for that. Honestly I have an alliance that will half the tribe after tomorrow so i would like to have a majority group with him, but I’m still in a good spot without him here. I would rather get Joseph or Dylan R out this round though.

John

okay so apparently cormac wants sierra out after stephen now which is news to me. i just agreed and nodded and was like “okay cool” bc i don’t want to draw negative attention towards myself by acting like i’m trying to protect them, but like i don’t think blindsiding them would be the best move? this game is going to get crazy quick. plus if he’s thinking of taking them out, what if all of a sudden they wanna flip on me? in engineering terms, cracks are propagating on the surface of the material, and it’s not long until failure occurs. hopefully failure does not turn into fracture.

Timmy

Joseph and I haven’t spoken in a few days yet he messages just saying “so, tribal” in bold and I’m like wtf like I’m not gonna talk to you about tribal yet, I need to see if I can trust you first.

Dylan C

What is the big risk I'm taking for the idol and risking my vote at tribal? A fucking puzzle with a shit ton of blue sky and snow, and the piece are weird and r o t a t e. I'm not getting this shit done by 11pm tomorrow! Not when I'm in classes all day, and then have DnD not long after. And I made an account to save my progress, putting my name in it so if I do finish and end up on the leaderboard for someone else to see. You know what I've got tonight? BDE. That's right: big dummy energy. At least the vote seems almost unanimous at this point, so that could easily change, but if it goes like it seems like it will then my vote won't matter too much.

Dylan C

41 minutes and 40 second in, 32%, brain is fried JustinAlright so I am a bit nervous for this tribal considering I have not been too active for this round, but I am still confident I can move the target onto someone else. I was thinking I can possibly get people to vote out Dylan R considering he has been more inactive than I have. Although, the other tribe blindsiding Jack makes me weary because it might have caused people on my tribe to make a move against a more active player. So, I need to be on my toes to make sure that is not me. Also, remember how I said I want to work with Timmy? Well I messaged that bitch asking if he wants to work with me officially, but he hasn't answered even though he has been online since I have sent the message. So, honestly I might try to target him considering he has not been super active either.

Keith John

I have been a bit busy these past few days, havnt spoken to everyone much. Good thing we won immunity. So scrambling is at its minimum. i got a feeling a swap is coming up. Makes me nervous. I dont have many connections on the other side.

Except Justin, spoke to him a few times. Raffy and Ellie I spoke to but they feel like people who talk to everyone. so I dont know if they have my back. Whilst Timmy even didnt reply to my hi. As guess he is clear about not working with me

Stephen

Hi. My name is Mr Immune, which I almost misspelt as Mt Immune, wouldn’t that be entertaining? Anyway the tribes feeling good, John and Sierra are cool, Zoes nice, Maynors nice but oddly distant. Everythings middle of the road atm, nothing great but nothing sucky. I’ll probably try and cruise for a bit on social connections until swap or something equally spicy pops up.

Maynor

I have continued doing the puzzles and I have 3 of them left. Hopefully the idol isnt found yet. We’ll see. Im so happy we were able to win immunity cuz i was slowly freaking out that Jack said my name. Atleast i just screamed inside my head and didnt become as paranois as Jack. He literally made himself the target. Everyone agreed on Stephen then his paranoia happened and it switched onto him.

P.S. ❤️ Jay

Sierra

After Jack got voted out, I was worried that we were going to lose the next challenge. I was so relieved when we actually pulled through and won! We all really worked so hard to win that one... and even though I’m in an alliance, I’d rather not have to test things again just yet.

Raffy

God I hate tribal. It’s ugly. Though I instantly have a name in mind: Justin. He’s the person I trust the least and have talked to the least. I talked to Ellie and Dylan C about it. They seemed to be on board with the whole thing. We just need one more vote which should be easy to get. After all, I am in an alliance with Timmy, so it should be easy for me to get four votes. I’m just hoping that he doesn’t have an idol.

Last night, I was talking to Dylan a little bit. Apparently, they are are scared that they haven’t been added to any alliances and they feel like alliances are being made. So I suggested making an alliance with them and I. They’re in a vulnerable position which is great for me since it means they’ll be more willing to work with me. After tribal, I’m hoping that we can create an alliance together with some other people. I’m excited!!!

Ellie

So it’s between Justin and Dylan R and I have the deciding vote?? More drama coming soon

Justin

Ok these bitches are making me mad. I approached Ellie and Dylan C for alliances. Luckily, they both said yes to individual alliances, but as soon as I brought up the idea for all of us to join together plus Raffy they go mute. That is definitely concerning, but I brought up Dylan R’s name to all three as a target this vote and I can only hope they stick to their word to vote them out. I also made an official alliance with Keith, and he spilled the beans that he has been talking to Raffy a bit which makes me nervous. However, I have changed my stance on Raffy because he actually talks to me quite a lot. But, I am aware he is definitely playing this game hard and is talking to almost everyone. That is why I want to keep him close for the time being and then perhaps blindside him in a swap or early merge. Back to Keith tho, he is ITCHING to make a move. He told me it is his first time playing an ORG and he definitely wants to blindside people which as long as it ain’t me I’m good.

Joseph Collins

Me and Elle have been working so good together. I hope she doesn’t stab me in the back lol. The tribe consensus was Justin but I flipped them all to Dylan r. Blindsideeeeee coming. Hahahahaha. *evil laugh* *winky face

Joseph Collins

Lemme break down how I flipped the vote. I just told Dylan c that “look. I respect you. And I’d want someone to do this for me. The tide’s changing and I think the vote is gonna be Dylan R tonight. I don’t want you to be left out of a vote because I wanted to work with you so I feel like you should know” that establishes trust and kinda gets Dylan to switch her vote

John

i’m ready to make a legitimate move in this game. but it’s all about timing. our best move, if we lose again, is sending stephen outta here. WITH THAT BEING SAID, it’s on after that. bring on the bloodbath. not everything will be happy go lucky for long.

Joseph Collins

I orchestrated this blindside and took no credit in my voting message. Like a true mastermind. *maniacal laugh*

Justin

Biiiiiiiitch. I just found out bitches have been conspiring against me cuz of the time zone difference. So, I was right for being paranoid omg. The person who initially told me was Joseph of all people which was shocking since I probably talk to him the least besides Dylan R. But, I’m glad he did and then Timmy further confirmed it which I’m like hello again Timmy it’s been a bit bud. From what they have told me is that the majority is still on Dylan R. and I talked to Dylan C. about the vote and I straight up talked about the time zone difference not being an issue. They said they have a friend in Scotland so it doesn’t bother them so if at least those three and myself vote Dylan R. then I should be good.

Raffy

The tribe has switched their mentality and have decided to go with Dylan R. with this vote which I am fine with considering he does not talk to me at all either. Plus, Justin came up to me asking if we could align together in this game which is always a good sign. So, I was more inclined to keep him throughout the day. Either way, I think I should be safe at this tribal council.

Zoe

I’m a wild bitch.

For the scavenger hunt challenge, I definitely got a tattoo (of the water tribe symbol from avatar, don’t @ me) for a whopping 20 points, and we definitely won the challenge. While riding on that high I accidentally talked about the idol hunt and got a strike from the god-host, which made me feel like the ultimate failure. Other than that, I have several strong alliances which I am confident in going into the swap.

Dylan C

https://youtu.be/gpUevTrixLo

https://youtu.be/_Qpn_dE6fxs

Not feeling like typing this up in detail but the vote has now changed to Dylan R and I’m down with/that. I talked to some people about it and they agree. Joseph messaged me and was like “I feel I have to tell you since you said you wanted to vote Justin.” I was like “that’s sweet but I already knew.” And kinda tried to play it off after that like I’m a little worse at socializing than I actually am but idk how well that worked. I really should’ve made this confession 5 hours ago but oh well. (Those videos were filmed almost 12 hours ago).

Dylan C

I actually finished the fucking puzzle and I can’t believe it. Also if I hadn’t, it would’ve counted against me next tribal, not tonight’s. Either way, I’m not losing that vote via that puzzle babey.

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ts-2020-olympics · 5 years ago

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Episode 13 - “Put On My Villain Attire” - Sammy

This week was a lot, I made a mistake socially that hurt someone, and i couldnt be more disgusted or hurt with myself tonight. I feel awful for what i said about nicole, after tribal i cryed like a kid on call with sammy and Caeleb. Reaching out to nicole was hard because i dont want her to think im coming to say sorry as a game move. I respect nicole as a person, as a player, and I made a mistake, and it was time for me to own up to making a personal comment in context that should not have been personal. Now getting that out of the way, this week was crazy, the vote was Tommy, then Jacob, Then nicole, cut to tribal Nicole is excused from tribal, which im thankful for because i actually got to reach out to nicole after to say sorry for my comment. Getting a response was the last thing I expected from her. And it made me happy to get one, especially such an understanding one that came from her realizing that was not my intentions. Game wise going forward, im aware theres cracks in this alliance and im not 100% safe. But im gonna ride it till i cant no more. I don't want to think game tonight but obviously i need to keep thinking about the game. Immunity wise, i dont think its necessity that I need to win, Even after I had a blow up and such i still feel like those in the game understand how hard it was for me tonight and my truth of how i didnt mean to hurt nicole. I still feel the most close to Sammy and Caeleb, they where there for me tonight after tribal while a cried, so was Kevin and Emma, idealy these people are the people I want there with me at the end of the game. In other news, Darcy has exposed himself as someone who has voted out sammy, meaning the list of people who need to go before I need to start backstabbing gets longer Stoner, Tommy, Nicole and Darcy are IDEALLY the next 4 boots, but u never know what will happen in this game! I could be working with Nicole next round for all I know. ANYWAYS TLDR: Im sorry, me and nicole are fine, im in a good place in this game. Thank u for coming to this LONG ASS confessional.

im dying, so its been fun toodaloo

Actually feeling very frustrated atm. I wanted this immunity so bad. The way Nicole plays this game is very frustrating and I’d love to see the way she actually plays the real game. Is she just gonna sit under the hut and ignore everyone that approaches her. She just lies about everyone and the minute someone does something against her she cries in her host chat. I’m usually not a mean person but she deserves to be the villain of this season. I literally have always looked up to Nicole as a player bc I have seen how genuine and kind she can be. But this game has really tossed out how i viewed her as a player. As a person sure she’s great but there’s a way to play this game by having good character. I would hate to see me leave before Nicole but if it happens and she makes it to the finals that’s okay but she won’t have my vote poor management. Anyways don’t wanna make my whole confessional about Nicole since she’s made the whole game revolve around her actions already. I’d like to personally shoutout Jordan caeleb and Eve in this confessional. Truly are the rays of sunshine in this game. I have my doubts about Kevin, Emma, and Darcy because I think that they have connections to Nicole. Someone is playing everyone and it’s so frustrating. I was so close to winning this immunity. I need to survive. Also I am very annoyed that caeleb has not had to stress a single round since merge. Yeah he’s my closest ally but like it’s annoying i want someone else like me to be immune and i know it’s selfish but it’s just annoying. I need to figure this out. I might have to put on my villain attire for this round.

IMMUNITY? IMMUNITY? I HAVE THAT? Oh my god I think this may be like the first immunity I've actually one in the history of my Tumblr Survivor career (although checking the records there was one time I was just like individually immune for no reason during Seychelles premerge and I do not remember why) I needed this SO BAD, and even better is everyone is PISSED at me for winning, nobody can figure out where I figured out all the colors and it's SOOOOOOOOO FUNNY god bless, long live the underdog bayyyyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Okay, so here goes. To start off my confessional for this round, that past tribal really was a mess. Nicole played a tribal skip, so she survived, which was a good play on her part, but it led to some messy scrambles, and ended up losing probably my closest friend in this game (Love you Jacob <3,) I ended up voting in minority with Jacob to keep my word, even though I knew majority was on Jacob. In this game though, you got to take risks, and if the risk of keeping my word to my good friend outside this game ends up being my downfall, then so be it. However, one isn't going to win by playing it safe every round and voting with majority all the time, you got to vote in minority at times too and try to at least make some bold moves, to get out the threats, otherwise, you might as well just give them the money, as those players would all make finals, and one of them would win. Then where would the sheep be? They would be at the jury, alongside those who they voted out. Now, terms of this round, Nicole and I are trying to come together to split up the power trio of Eve, Caeleb and Sammy. Plan is to try getting out Eve, as Eve has everyone basically wrapped around their finger, which I do not like, and I think Eve has the best chance of winning this game if they make it to the end, so yea Eve has to go. I've also been hearing though, and sounds of things, Emma is wanting me out, and her reason I think is pretty well just because I haven't been voting with her. It's like, I have only been to 3 tribals so far with Emma (4 if you count this one,) and I voted with her the one tribal against Karen, then other tribal was just because I wanted to be loyal to my friend, and keep my word. The first time though, was because I found the other person more threatening to my game. Anyways, I am fighting my all right now to stay, and not going to back down, but if I end up going, so be it, I know I played a great game, and am glad with everything about it. Pitching to people though that I'm not threatening at all, I literally have 0 moves on my resume at the moment, and how I just want to try beating 7th, because as of currently, 7th is my best placement. Here goes nothing, and hopefully cards fall right, and Eve gets slain.

I’m kind of feeling hopeless after this round. Nobody actually wants to make the moves that need to be made, nobody wants to do anything actually smart. People are just being so short-sighted and playing for jury. Eve has an ego and will use it to make you believe that it’s her way or the highway. I feel like any cast with more than three braincells amongst them could really do something but, they won’t. Caeleb will win immunity yet again next round. I’ll go, then one by one they’ll go. I really just like, have no energy to guide these dummies to anywhere anymore. I’m tired. Even with immunity people are just ridiculously fake and annoying.

I think Emma is the plan for tonight. She's playing a double agent type of game which is super dangerous and people are starting to see through it plus me and her don't have the best past so I'm fine with Emma going. It gets me to the Final 10 and gets me one step closer to the Final Tribal Council. I also think once Emma goes I'll be nobodies #1 target and that'll put me in a good position for next vote as long as Nicole doesn't win immunity again. Although who knows things switch around in this game so fast and it could be me going home because if Emma gets wind of her name being out there I see her coming for me just because of our past and I do think there is viable reason for people to flip their votes onto Me, if Emma campaigns for me to go. I'm hoping my name doesn't get dragged into the conversation and it just stays between Emma, Eve, and Darcy so I have no chance of going home tonight. I'm just gonna lay low after this bit of strategy talk but be around if the wind starts to shift onto me.

Fuck I’m not home and don’t want a stike this will be a quick confessional, Sammy I’m so fucking sorry about this but you have such a good social game and I need you gone to free up the field. Formed an alliance with Darcy today that was random but now I actually trust him which is wierd. Still fucking people over with Nicole it’s crazy how that’s working. Next round is final 10 o need to make it past it or I might cry, once I pass that hurdle I’ve never heard passed I’m good. 9th- 1st no bitter Jordan pines, don’t get me wrong though, 1st is still most preferred and it’s seeming achievable

Bye bye Sammy

Ahh I have to turn my phone off and can't find confessional but my confessional is that I hate myself for voting Sammy

I ate dinner, We're doing Sammy. Maybe these people have four brain cells instead of three. I however, still just have the one bumping around in my ear canal saying I might have a chance to win the game which is in fact, the stupidest thought I've had this whole round.

well well well....this round is a BIG OLE MESS, so i went into it last night thinking the vote was gonna be emma because she was leaking to nicole, but then i woke up and i guess the vote is on darcy, but Nicole tried to pull a vote on eve but because emma was involved and very loose lipped I would not have felt comfortable hiding that for almost 5 hours, so i told eve LOL.... but that built my trust up with eve and I thought it would make eve doubt emma even more but instead it seems to have made her want to keep her? which maybe means emma leaked the vote already?? which would be a good thing for me because then i didnt try to hide info that eve already knew, but so then that landed the vote primarily on darcy but honestly if darcy goes home this game is likely in the bag for eve, so I had to come up with something quick ! I have no idea if this is gonna go through but i put all my energy into selling this sarah vote like it was the end all be all move for us to make, when i dont think it is but if sarah can go home then the 5some that im viewing as Sammy/Caeleb/Eve/Jordan/Sarah would be down to 4 meaning theres wiggle room at the final 10 to potentially make a power move on a big player, without them being able to stay 5 solid and threaten rocks. They all seemed kinda hesitant but came around so im nervous, eve also asked for a back up plan which I said could be stoner, but the fact that she asked makes me nervous that shes gonna try to pull a fast one and be like "I think sarah has an idol we need to flip it !!!!!" which would be annoying but i wouldn't put it past eve. This also keeps all my potential numbers in those being nicole and then tommy/darcy emma and stoner, again IF this goes through, i could've lost darcy but then i just a 5v5 or if emma gets bold then a 6v4 and im powerless again. I think this was where i need to make a move and i hope it goes through but if it doesn't at least i tried !!!

I think tonight the night ladies, TONIGHT THE NIGHT I AM RELEASED, i mean if not sarah goes home and its whatever. I love love sarah and feel bad for blindsiding her like this. But I have confidence in Kevins decision here, hes trusted me, I have to trust him now.

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