#my brain cant form a coherent thought

[goldenfoxthe1st]

idk how to put this thought into words but. im thinking about how dazai said chuuya makes him feel alive and chuuya thought he wasnt human (maybe still thinks to this day) and how in THAT scene chuuya "killed" dazai while pretending to be a vampire (not a human). and then bam turns out dazai is alive and chuuya was a human all along. idk i feel like theres some symbolism in this but i cant put it into words

[ihopeucomehomesoon]

"i dont think i can stand to be where you don't see me" is one of the craziest and realest mitski lines to me and i relate to it in this particular moment in my life bc in this current state of drifting i find it hard to feel like i exist as a person in this world and it's mostly bc i'm holed up in my room all day and night long

[aria0fgold]

I slept at 4am, woke up at 8am, I am sleepy, running on 4 hours of sleep but my brain is too active to actually fall asleep. I want to nap.

[heizouz]

begging for sub lyney + praise kink i'd do Anything

nsfw sub!lyney + gn!reader, praise, lots of praise, dumb lyney

this isn't my favourite piece but lyney is all i can think about recently so i just had to get this out as fast as possible. thank u SM for this req bc it's just made me think abt how much of a praise kink he'd have lorddd... n e way i hope this is okay!!.. <33

"you did so good today."

lyney thinks he will burst if one more compliment falls from your lips. you're close—too close. your hands are all over him, teasing the buttons of his shirt, tugging at his belt loops, tracing along the lines of his jaw. he's so flustered, worked up, adrenaline still flooding through his body from his previous performance.

his hat and shoulder cape have been discarded on the makeup desk behind him, your eagerness not giving him any time to take a breath as you'd hurried him into his dressing room and painted his face with needy kisses. lyney had laughed, pushing you away to cheekily ask if you'd enjoyed the performance that much; his cockiness soon fading once the praises started tumbling out between desperate kisses against his skin.

your thigh is between lyney's parted legs, his back against the makeup desk; hands fisting the material of your shirt at your shoulders as he grinds against your thigh. he's whimpering, soft and embarrassed—a complete switch to his usual confident on stage persona and you can't help but feel the wave of pride at the way lyney can't seem to look up, fixated on the way he moves so obediently for you.

"look at you." you sigh, head tilting as you watch him fall apart against your leg. your eyes are soft but dark, taking in the desperate cant of his hips and pretty gasps with every movement.

you're not even doing anything. lyney does all the work—working himself along your thigh, fingers curling into your shirt, eyebrows furrowed with concentration to make himself finish.

he'd been so stressed for his performance, so it'd been your plan all along to let it be known how well he did. the relief of finally getting his act done was clear as lyney was so accepting to relieve himself, to let you reward him for such a good show.

"just like that," you whisper. your hand tilts his head to finally look up at you, his eyes glassy and needy, "my pretty lyney."

lyney flushes at the praise, breath hitching, "st-stop, please." though his thrusts never seem to slow, hips only stuttering a little.

you take note of that, eyebrows raising when you flicker your gaze to his desperate grinding, "you want to stop?" you press your thigh harder against him, leaning impossibly closer across body, "but you're doing such a good job for me, darling."

"mh-hah-" lyney whines, loud, at the feeling of your thigh pressing hard against his cock straining against his shorts. he doesn't seem to realise how pitchy he's getting, brain fuzzy and too focused on you and your close body and the praises and his need to show you how even better he can be.

lyney can't think when you press your hand over his mouth to stifle his increasing moans. your chest presses against his and although he never seizes to slow the movement of his hips, your close proximity and the weight of your body pressing him hard against the makeup desk forces his eyes to roll back at the friction of your thigh against his cock. he can feel himself dripping against the material of his shorts, so incredibly close to breaking from just the press of your thigh alone. the thought would've flooded him with embarrassment if he could think properly.

you force him to keep eye contact, his eyes lidded and glossed over, the only thing separating you being your hand covering his mouth. your eyebrows furrow a little at the halt of his hips, "hm? don't stop, dove. you're being so perfect for me."

he feels so hot, his throat is closed up, unable to form a coherent word except the muffled whimpers and whines. his brain is muddled, the previous anxiety of a bad performance completely erased because now he's being good for you, he's so perfect, he's doing such a good job.

and to top it off, you lean in close when he starts to rock his hips at your command, whispering the words, "good boy." and lyney could cry.

lyney's eyes threaten to close, eyebrows scrunched and pretty breathy whimpers bleed past your hand over his mouth at the words, hips stuttering against your leg. purple irises gloss over with tears of pleasure, everything all too much and all you can do is smirk a little at how fucked out the usual suave and charming magician is.

"'m gonna-" lyney mumbles behind your hand, breath quickening and he pleads with his eyes, words stopping halfway to moan noisily.

"ah-ah!" you rip away his chance suddenly, hand dropping from his mouth and you back up slightly so you're no longer situated between his legs. lyney whines, bucking into the air at the loss of friction, eyes pooling with tears.

"n-no, please, please." lyney's desperate, voice broken and whiny.

"not yet, dove. 'need to get these off." you play with the belt loops of his shorts, tugging him a little closer. you smile wolfishly, going to pull the material down, "i need to reward you properly."

[tyuncel]

taehyun likes smart girls for the sole purpose of dicking them down until their brain cant form a coherent thought. a usually well-spoken girl, slurring her words and spitting utter filth.

all to prove that he’s smarter than them— that no matter what they’ll always be under him, in more ways than one.

he’ll talk sweet to them, even if he was a proper asshole before. forcing himself on them until they let him fuck, and from then on he’ll only humiliate them.

‘how dumb are you that you let a guy like me fuck you?’

‘such a fucking attitude.. youre better when youre stuffed full with my cock, right?’

calling them his stupid girl before throwing them away. after all, he doesnt really care about them, he just wants to prove his point!

[box953]

eiffel in relation to hilbert is so interesting because he is both similar to first mission lovelace in a lot of ways so its his past AND the culmination of his lifes work. hes a living reminder of hilberts past not even on purpose but that makes it so he cant compartmentalize his previous mission and move ahead and not think about is because eiffel is right there and alive and so familiar but also eiffel is the carrier and guinea pig of his work and hilbert is nothing but his work its the reason he wakes up in the morning do you think about this? this thought is half finished but my brain is turning into mush good luck with your illness feel better soon!

hi . Sorry this took me so long to respond every time i would read this ask i would get so excited i couldnt form a coherent post. Because yeah. Yeah. Ive spent months rewriting why the dynamic of hilbert and eiffel with eiffel/lovelace parallels and Lovelace and hilberts previous dynamic in mind makes me insane and you pinned it down perfectly in one paragraph. That’s what it’s about. Eiffel’s too familiar to hilbert to let an open wound heal and that open wound is more dangerous left open because eiffel is also everything Hilbert works for and lives for. Normal style.

[soracities]

And another thing! its for your own good that you challenge yourself despite everything. Yes life is soul crushing and society is literally falling apart and a lot of it is outside your control, and yes the only thing you want to do is lay down and rot, but respectfully, if you don’t exercise your brain you may as well go full circle back to the dark ages. Uneducated people that can't form coherent thoughts or pay attention long enough cant fight against the bs we're being fed by authority; a lack of knowledge will only aid your oppression, which is probably the point. An uneducated and overworked society is much more susceptible to coercion and a lot easier to control, so the very least you could do is pick up a good book.

Okay thats all thank u for coming to my tedtalk mwah 💋

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[eyalsfantasy]

Yi city but goth aesthetic

My brain just managed to form a single coherent thought (super rare btw) and all it told me was

Baby bat (beginner goth) xue yang just getting his fangs done professionally and the orthodontist doing his fangs is just so... scrumptious and xue yang just melts,so he scopes around for information wether this angelic man,clad in white clothing from head to toe,is single or nah

He isnt,xue yang is pissed but since he has his mouth full he cant block out the low irritated grumble from leaving his throat,the orthodontist seems to not hear it (xiao xingchen totally did he's just so amused and fascinated by this scrunckly little baby bat that is being so pliant in his hands its too adorable for him to say anything about it) and he keeps asking questions to confirm whether xxc likes his husband or not,and from what xy learned,his husband runs one of the best rated top notch, extremely recommended in the local goth community tattoo body modification and piercing parlour...that xy was already planning on going to for quite some time, and has an appointment booked in in order to get his nipples pierced,and he knows an opportunity when he sees one.

He gets to said parlour and tries to scope out the possible husband,and there he is,the human version of a (very sexy) tree, he's so tall and strong xy knows for a fact he cant top that (he definitely wants to be topped by that tho⁠(͡⁠°⁠‿⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)),and its either fate loves him,or absolutely despises him, because his appointment was switched to be with that absolute wall of a man instead of with the person he originally booked with...so he marches over with the best brave face he's got in stock,sits down on the little chair they have behind the privacy curtain and waits...

As soon as song lan saw him walking in he knew for a fact thats the fascinating little thing his husband told him about earlier that day,and he had to practically beg wwx to switch his client with him,wwx agrees saying he was his last client anyway and he needs to pick up his son from daycare and get some groceries..

And xy is so cute and so bad at pretending he's brave,but sl chooses to spare that poor baby bat and go along with his act..and boy is he glad he went with it, because xy is so good and he listens so well,obeys so well,and okay...maybe it isn't very moral to take what shoulve been a regular piercing appointment and turn it into half a scene with the way sl has been practically domming xy,but he cant help it...and hearing those little gasps of the pain from the needles jabbing into his nipples was just euphoric

After each of the encounters they all think they'll never meet again...until theres a goth event at the local bar and lo and behold,if it isnt the scrunckly little man,the sexy tree and his pale angelic husband all at the same bar..this time sl and xxc agree that they are keeping him.

[cockroachparty]

i love to write. it is my most favorite hobby. talking is really fun too. i love sharing my thoughts and opinions and while also hearing others thoughts and opinions. writing is a safe haven, a quick way to share my thoughts with others. the words flow effortlessly from my brain down to my fingertips, with such quick succession.

except when its an assignment.

give me a roleplay prompt and i'll write it within 5 minutes. tell me to give a funny review for an amazon product and i'll have it down in 10.

but giving me a paragraph assignment? on a chapter of a book i dont care for?

end of the world. end of my life. end of my schooling career. cant do it. no i cant. suddenly every single word and vocabulary term i once knew is vanquished from my mind and i can no longer form a coherent opinion or sentence. might as well just give me the F now. take me out back and shoot me i guess do it in front of a live audience too, why not. who cares.

[phagodyke]

I've been drawing for the last 6 hours straight which is an UNTHINKABLE level of focus for me esp w how bad these last few weeks have been. maybe I need to force myself to sleep way less alllll the time

[feelingthedisaster]

Hello hi. I have no idea anything about the fandom you’re in, however I recognize a few names based off of the stuff you reblog. Mainly Aaron and Neil, I believe. So for that ask about characters could you tell me a bit about (either of) them?

hiii <3 <3

okay, so a lot of yapping alert cause im obssesed with those two little guys

aaron

How I feel about this character: i cannot physically stop thinking about him. he invades all my thoughts. he is basically my head roomie at this point. he is such an asshole. i love him. he is not normal and trying so hard to be which its a fact i cannot get over. also, he is the funniest motherfuxker alive and has been way before the bonus chapters, finally some recognition to my boy

All the people I ship romantically with this character: katelyn basically and only. tho i've read kevaaron/katekevaaron fics but i dont really ship them i just think the fics are neat

My non-romantic OTP for this character: hmmmmmmmmmmm. so hard to choose. i think he has a lot of potential with matt for a super cool friendship. i have him and andrew's sibling relationship rotating in my brain 24/6 (saturdays are aaron only) but the neilaaron bestfriendisims are so funny to read idk. AND nicky god. i need to crack open his parent-esque/cousin relationship. its impossible to deffine by normal standars, calling them cousins feels like it isnt enough and parent figure doesnt fit but they are family, and technically blood family but they are actually found family and and and

My unpopular opinion about this character: this opinion has actually becoming less unpopular since nora had to write text of the subtext but he isnt as homophobic as people make him to be. like, he isnt disgusted/feels hatred towards homosexuality he just dislikes neil and doesnt like the oversexualizating comments nicky makes. bc i mean, love nicky, but sometimes they are a little bit much. and yeah, he has internalized homophobia, he has even admitted it but i dont he externalizes it. the thing with neil is dislike towards neil/getting a reaction out to break the bros before hoes deal. (sorry i love calling it the bros before hoes deal its so funny, its their fault)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i want to see him break. like for real. super ugly. gimme whump. . gimme failing everything he work for. gimme relapse. gimme all the bad things that could happen and worse. (except the trial going badly, i cant handle that)

neil

How I feel about this character: neil josten neil josten neil josten neil josten neil josten. i cannot describe him. he is such a concept. i devore it like i've never eaten before. he is a bit of nathaniel and a bit of neil and he is both and he is all and he is everything. and he is a lie but its all true. and he doesnt care but he cares very much. he manipulates like he breathes and he crimes like its in his blood but that bad but that has a benefit but no no thats not. god. he sees people, he helps, he is a sweetheart with who he cares/needs but can be the absolute worst if he needs it. like, like, he makes me insane. i cant form coherent thoughts about him

All the people I ship romantically with this character: andrew. and that kinda it. maybe kandreil in a weird queerplatonic way but not romantic with kevin but like yk

My non-romantic OTP for this character: kevin. and jean. and dan. and wymack. and idk, everything and everyone. all his interpersonal relationships are so interesting to me.

My unpopular opinion about this character: i can remember anything right now? maybe like i dont like him and andrew getting married but idk.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: mental health. shit has to affect him. he will never go to the therapy, its neil cmon, but that doesnt mean that shit doesnt happen and that his mental health is pristine and that there arent other things aside therapy. like, i want to explore more of everything that happened in the books affect him mental health-wise. not like a diagnosis/recovery but more like an exploration of his intricate issues

[dustcrumbs]

Dust goes over to horrors house quite frequently and when he’s not they’re on call (late at night) and whispering. Dusts like falling asleep n his tummy must’ve growled or smfh bc horrors asking if he ate dinner like he said when he left his place and dust doesn’t know how to answer (he in fact did not eat). Dust doesn’t wanna take food from horrors family bc they just moved and are paying medical bills and are generally low income and he doesn’t wanna take away from them and says like oh just one meal gone will be fine.

I’m so tired and I wanna talk more about tumor au but my brain is melting and I can’t form coherent thoughts or put any semblance of a thought into words. The Horrordust…..

guhh Dust... You gotta stop feeling like some burden. I doubt Horror will starve to death if you decide to just eat one plate vbrrorvd :broken_heart: (I CANT USE EMOIJIS)

[impulsive-fantasylander]

Martins yapping for way too long Part 2

Hi yall, welcome back to whatever this is! this will probably the last ava post until the hyperfixation REALLY locks into it. but yea like uh, feel free to let me yall thoughts on these they make me really happy :>

Warning: again, while not graphic will get dark at times, keep that in mind please

The Color Gang

Navy, Orchid, Purple and Citrine

Merc Interlude

An Idea For The World of AVA

And Programmer021 Finale

End Notes

honestly my brain is so fried i cant form coherent sentences, however as a little treat, here's my spotify playlist for TCO, TDL and Victim! its not organized but if its of help, Butcher's Vanity is for TDL, Without me is for Victim and My alcoholic friends is for TCO! This makes sense to me.

[astro-b-o-y-d]

still obsessed with this part of the newest Triangulum chapter

i cant put it into coherent thoughts. but like.

the fact that everyone is uncomfortable about bill looking like dipper but the way it effects mabel specifically makes my brain wanna explode

like. "its just as bad as when you did it last year!" that day was so traumatic for both dipper and mabel. ohh my god. "stop making him smile like that!" AAAAAAAAA

AND THE FACT BILL IS BEING SUCH A JERK ABOUT IT AUGHHH

the dialogue here. i love it. i love the whole thing but this part. the bill and mabel parts. ohhhhhhh they make me wanna VOMIT (positive)

SOCK OPERA REFERENCES IN ANY FORM DRIVE ME INSANEEEE

YAYAYAY YIPPEE YAYYYYY 🧡🧡🧡🧡 Yeah this part was VERY fun to write. Poor Mabel has...a LOT of feelings regarding what happened last year, ESPECIALLY during the events of Sock Opera (lest we forget the little thing mentioned at the end of chapter 3~?).

Also if you're excited about Bill and Mabel interacting, especially when it comes to stuff regarding his appearance, you're in for a real treat in some future chapters 🤭

[fatmaclover]

my brain is not letting me form thoughts coherently but I'm thinking so much about our little charlies home alone wolrd i feel siccck i feel sick. do you think they talked at all while she was out of the room about them caring about her. do you think she said anything emotional while on pain meds. im thinking

katie you make me ill. thank you

i bet mac and dennis definitely have moments just. sitting. in the waiting room. they definitely fight. it starts with mac and dennis fighting over each other for not being worried about joyce, like the fights in charlie gets crippled yknow? theyre fighting sure but it's definitely an expression of how much they care about joyce.

i definitely think theres a phase there, though, where mac and dennis are shooed from her room, since she needs her rest or whatever. and i imagine neither of them are gonna be the worse best friend and go home first. so theyre just sitting, silent, still emotional after crying with joyce. and after a while, you can see mac looking up through his lashes at dennis.

he asks if dennis thinks joyce will be okay. of course dennis says she will be. he tells mac not to be a pussy. some heartfelt scene with mac rambling, admitting his care and worry for joyce. dennis taking a long moment to contemplate, before agreeing, admitting how worried he gets for her, too. how much he cares. theres a long beat of silence, before they break into a fight over whos fault it is again, though its definitely with less effort than before.

as for joyce saying emotional shit on pain meds you know she was on that "i did it all for you guys" shit that makes mac and dennis feel 70x worse. "i hope you guys at least had a good game" and mac is about to punch a hole in the wall. sure she did all that so the eagles could win, but would she even care if the eagles werent so important to her friends? would she be that self sacrificial?

maybe once mac and dennis get to have time alone with her they get a bit more sappy. mac definitely would. sneaking in some glue or something to be able to get high with joyce. hes trying to be strong but he cant get over the guilt that he wasnt there to protect her. maybe hes even crying over her, finally pouring his feelings to her. finally getting out how much he cares and how sorry he is for not being there sooner.

and man. joyce really misses middle and elementary school. she misses the mac that would talk to her like this without her nearly dying in order to achieve it. in the moment, she lets herself be happy that shes getting anything at all though.

[minquiec]

Jia's MJ

Tbh, with full clearance, I haven't read a lick of spiderman comics (except for like hobies one but that's a different story) which in hindsight makes me look like such a faker but OH WELL I CANT BE BOTHERED AND THE TINY TEXT IS TOO HARD MY MY BLIND ASS TO READDDD also it seems complicated and my brain is too dumb so idk the parallels or anything so 🔥🔥 just lemme bullsh my way thru this please (like I always do)

First of all I just wanna say

She is so fine OEUGH

Also idk if anyone notice the tattoo is a mini easter egg for the gr+s au (grim reaper and swallow it's too long to keep repeating I swear)

Anyways I haven't decided what her full name is I just know alot of people call her Mei and especially if they're younger than her call her Mei Jie (Jie means older sister in chn so it becomes mj HAHAHA BIG BRAIN WAVELENGTH)

Mei has this tattoo parlour in one of the more quieter streets of New Yan and Jia knows her vaguely prior to The Fire™ bc it's like maybe 20 mins away from her apartment and she was doing her spider girl things and beating crime. EITHER WAY she knows abt it.

I was thinking abt what her personality was like and then at one point I was like 🧍🧍I feel like I'm just ripping off hb's and watering it down ARGH cause what I was thinking is that Mei's someone who's clear in what beliefs she has. It's kind of a my life my choice kinda thing. So basically head strong, confident and kinda stoic sort of gal. And then the watering down gets even worse CAUDE I WANTED HER TO LIKE HELP JIA BY HOUSING HER TEMPORARILY AFTER THE FIRE HAPPENED?? BUT THEN I WAS LIKE ISNT THAG JUST HOBIE SND GWEEENNNN❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓ ARGH EHERE R MY ARTISTIC LIBERTIES THIS IS SO CRUNGE defaming my own name smh 😞😞 but like it makes more sense why jia would like hb if this happened bc she would've been subconsciously subjected to this type of personality prior to meeting him ❓ she also thinks mei is so cool in the way she carries herself so it would make sense for jia to like these personality traits ig

Also my favorite trait abt her is the crane motif (animal symbolism my beloved) cause I thinkkkk one of the things cranes symbolise is wisdom and in some form, Mei offers her own wisdom to jia after her having lost everything during her stay at Mei's. So TRULY SHE LIVING UP THE THE OLDER SIS IN HER NAME

Anyyays I might update this as usual if anything else comes up cause I can never have one train of coherent thought yippee