#my body is a mistery even to myself sometimes

[thickest-slimiest-malware]

person al

how do i know if im actually nonbinary or if im just a girl faking it. i dont wanna be a girl sometimes but sometimes i do. sometimes i wanna be feminine. i dont know what nonbinary means. i will not have surgery, passing as a girl is convenient for me sometimes, just like passing is convenient for binary trans people. but it doesnt mean i wanna be a girl or that i enjoy it when its detatched from how much people respect me, i just dont wanna be disrespected sometimes and im not not a girl because what the hell even is nonbinary? but then i feel like a traitor and not a real trans person. i constantly feel like someones about to call me out on faking it. maybe i do fake it a bit and for example use only it/its instead of she/it (my actual preferred pronouns) because i feel like people wouldnt acknowledge it otherwise. i hate it here i hate it everywhere. i just wanna be myself but i dont have the courage to do it because the overlap of people who would support various aspects of me is very small and i have to lie a little bit every time i talk to someone (this also applies to things besides gender..)

but yea im not binary because i never enjoyed being a girl unless it was an opportunity to get praise from people i have to be around. i know this about myself. i dont experiance gender euphoria or dysphoria as far as i know. there are even aspects of my personality that i can make a nonbinary gender label out of, even though they might be fleeting so i usually dont.. but i should. but yeah im nonbinary

[shunin-gumis]

Mistery on the Moonlit Passage - Track 08

Seasonal Event Story

Location: Cruise Liner - Party Venue

Kinari: Rebooting the main body… Please wait a moment...

Yachiyo: D-Don’t tell me… I-I-I-I-I-I dozed off during work…!? All the pay cuts�� followed by a dismissal… then restitution… no, THE DEATH PENALTY!?!?

Chief: *yawns* …That was a good nap…!

Nanaki: Everyone woke up…!?

Akuta: …Whoa! Hm…? Where’d the steak I was munching on go? And my fried fish…?

Muneuji: Rest assured, everything was but a dream. There is also still plenty of fried chicken, kinpira*, and pickled shallots left to go around.

Yodaka: My… I recall being in the middle of counting the number of seeds stuffed inside a chipmunk’s cheeks… but I suppose it was all a dream.

Yukikaze: Chipmunks? What a cute image.

Kafka: Hm… It’s gotten kinda late… We’ve been asleep this entire time…?

Ryui: Oi, Yowa. Spill. Now.

Netaro: Erg… explaining things is such a pain, but I guess I’ll do it. Playing detective was fun, and the story should conclude with the culprit’s confession anyways!

Netaro: …Hear ye, hear ye! My testimony about hunting down the fireflies earlier… was all but a lie!

Ryui: Thought as much.

Netaro: What you wish to know is what I was really doing at the time. And what I was doing at the time was conducting a trial run for my latest invention!

Nanaki: Your latest invention?

Netaro: Indeed! It’s called the “You-Wouldn’t-Believe-This-Wasn’t-Netaro Hypnosis Doll!”

Muneuji: There are two Yowa-sans…!?

Ryui: The fuck did that thing come from!

Netaro: This me is the real me~! And that me is actually a palm-sized doll, but if you hit the two buttons located on its pupils, it’ll grow to the same size as me.

Toi: You mean, to poke it in the eyes…?

Yukikaze: What a mean thing to do.

Netaro: In addition, it comes with a stylish glow-in-the-dark coating that glows after being in the dark for a while ♪

*“You-Wouldn’t-Believe-This-Wasn’t-Netaro Hypnosis Doll!” dances*

Nanaki: It can even move… So this is what Muneuji really saw…?

Muneuji: It seems like it’s made from a similar fabric to my sister’s pajamas. However… I believe this was the light I encountered.

Netaro: Wonderfully made, if I do say so myself~. It’s a handy item that can act as a body double when you feel like skipping work, or if you’re about to be arrested.

Akuta: A body double!? That’s cracked to the MAX!

Toi: I remember now! There was also a Netaro-san-like robot when the Night Team worked as servants!

Ryui: That thing’s a piece of fucking junk if you ask me.

Netaro: Inventing is all about improving upon improvements! To hide the fact that it’s a doll, I  installed a feature that allows it to emit hypnotic sounds from its mouth.

Nanaki: Why hypnotic sounds…

Netaro: And since I was bored, I decided to test it out on the deck, but then the robots in the party venue got caught up in it and started playing hypnotic lo-fi as well. As a result, the relaxation effect got amplified.

Netaro: But to think I was the one that created such a brilliant device! Sometimes, my genius is… it’s almost frightening!

Chief: Um, so in other words…?

Kafka: Everyone fell asleep due to Netaro’s new invention.

Kinari: It’s fascinating how it affected both humans and machines alike.

Nanaki: So both Andy’s power being cut and the weird waveforms were because the machines entered the invention’s range…

Yodaka: My my, Netaro’s invention is just full of surprises. 

Netaro: But rest assured! Thanks to Ryui’s constant nagging, safety is most certainly guaranteed! The hypnosis is set to be in effect for exactly 1 hour!

Netaro: That’s why everyone was able to wake up! It’s amazing, right? Makes you want to shower me with praises and headpats, right?

Ryui: Toi. Do you feel any pain or discomfort anywhere? How’s your fever?

Netaro: Totally ignored!

Toi: Erm… I think it went away…? I don’t know, my body feels fine…

Ryui: Don’t push yourself too hard. It was only an hour’s rest, so you might not be fully—

Chief: Hm? Wait, now that you mention it, I feel like all of my built-up fatigue and shoulder pain went away…

Kinari: My thought processing hardware also feels 18% lighter than before.

Ryui: What’s the meaning of this?

Netaro: Hmm, if I had to guess, my invention enhanced the lo-fi music the robots were playing into ultra-super relaxing lo-fi music!

Yachiyo: Huuuhhh…? This room-temperature IQ-ed, smooth, commoner brain of mine doesn’t understand…

Chief: D-Don’t worry, Yachiyo. I’m pretty sure Netaro is the only one that understands the specifics…!

Yukikaze: I see now why they call you a genius, Netaro.

Kafka: …That’s it. I was thinking about what we could do with this course of events, but this could work.

Chief: Did you think of something?

Kafka: Yup, a little something ♪

Kafka: We’re almost at the port, but I’m gonna go talk with the owner of the cruise. Don’t worry about me, just keep enjoying the party.

Kafka: Oh, and Netaro, can you come with me?

Netaro: …

Kafka: Aaand there.

Chief: You poked him in the eyes while he was hesitating over it!?!?

Kafka: It’s ‘cause it’s the body double. Look, it shrunk.

Netaro: Gosh darnit, busted…

Chief: (Kafka… Looks like he’s got a plan. It’s probably best to leave things to him.)

Chief: Then, I guess… there’s still food left over, so why don’t we enjoy ourselves until we arrive?

Akuta: Bet!

Yukikaze: …Nanaki.

Nanaki: !

Nanaki: (Oh! Now's my chance…)

Nanaki: (Thanks, Kamina-san.)

Nanaki: Chief…! Um, then—

Note:

Kinpira is a style of Japanese stir-fry cooking, the most common one is a burdock root and carrot stir-fry.

[aceyanaheim]

I just made a post on a facebook group then deleted it because i was convinced i made it like..as a personal post

Which is to say wow im out of it i should just have pizza watch tv and call it a night.

[a-s-levynn]

Haven't slept during the day in ages.

Soo good.

Should repeat.

[harmoonix]

🌹Astrology Notes🌹

These can also be called Degree Notes since a lot of them are about Degrees ❤️

Intro Song ❤️☺️

❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣

Virgo's Suns are the balance between brain and beauty, that combination of I'm smart and pretty too. (This can also apply if you have the Sun or Ascendant at Virgo Degrees: 6°, 18°)

Water and Air moons are very sensitive people, they are having a very emotional nature and inner child.

Capricorn Placements are getting very JEALOUS, but VERY jealous in relationships too with their partners, they can get very jealous when someone doesn't give them enough attention

Cancer and Pisces placements are so underated for their anger. Seriously, they can get very angry and create a lot of conflicts and chaos

People with North Node in Leo... You know their destiny is gonna be big

Recently i discovered that Sagittarius and Scorpio Venuses get along so good like what??? They both have a very attractive energy omg Fire + Water combination 🫂

Leo Risings people can get along so good with people who are Aquarius Risings they are sisters signs and can have a lot in common, and hobbies, talents too

Pluto aspecting the ascendant can give you very big and misterious eyes, very big magnetism those people can find people asking them a lot about their eyes (I call myself out here i have Pluto sextile ascendant and i get asked a lot about my eyes 👀)

Sagittarius Risings are having a very nice body shape and a very fiery energy i swear those people have so much fun in them

❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣

Any planet/asteroid that enters in your 7th house is gonna affect your relationship life

People with Sun in Taurus Degrees (2°, 14°, 26°) are very charismatic and very fashionable,they can be very good at arts and music and at singing too

People with Sun in Aquarius Degrees (11°, 23°) wanna be different from other people, they always had something's that made them unique.

Neptune in the 4th house can make you to dream about your family and maybe to dream about your spiritual family also, since Neptune is a very spiritual planet, they can also dream about family members who lost their lives 🫂💫

Uranus in the 11th house can make you the unique friend in your friend group, you can always have something different from your friends

❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣

Venus in Aquarius Degrees (11°, 23°) can give you very unique love experiences and partners, your spouse can be very unique in their talents or their job

Mars in the 2nd house can give you a very good physical body

People with Ascendant in Aries Degrees (1° 13°, 25°) can be very stubborn and very dominant toward others

Moon at Libra Degrees (7°,19°) can make you to be very balanced with your emotions and you know how to control your feelings very good and enough to not show others when you feel sad. I send you a lot of hugs ⊂⁠(⁠◉⁠‿⁠◉⁠)⁠つ

Pisces Placements like to listen to sad songs even when they are not sad, 😭 sometimes they can transform this into a habit

❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣

Gemini Risings are having such a good charisma towards others to always make such a good first impression when they met someone

Saturnian/Uranian Risings; (Aquarius and Capricorn) Saturn guides them very much and a lot of times they need to learn big lesson in life because Saturn knows these people are very strong and strong enough to end every challenge. If you stop them from going on their path way Saturn can punish you really bad because Saturn really cares about what happens in these natives life

Leo Mars can be really seductive people 👀, they are very good at seducing

Fire Mars people can have a lot of simps around them 👀 but be careful because you attract people who can see you only for your outside and not your inside

Air Moons people tend to have around people who can misunderstand their emotions, or tend to be a little cold around other people because it can be hard for them to open up.

❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣

8th house in personal planets (Sun,Moon,Mars,Venus,Mercury) can attract stalkers

8th house Mars can have a very big drive in bed

11th house placements, be careful when you make friends, some people can be fake and use you for personal reasons and they can betray or backstab you so please choose your friends with much care

6th house placements, please don't forget to take a break if you are tired and take care of yourself and your needs too. These people are workaholics and they can work 24/7 but they always forget to take a break :(, relax your soul a bit and take care of yourself

7th house placements can have a dark side beside they are destined to have very good relationships, but these people can lost themselves for people their love, they can become very obsessive of their partners and forget about themselves, make sure to spend some time with yourself and to take care of your heart ❤️

❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣🌹❣

Don't forget to take care of you ❤️

With love, Harmoonix

[power-of-plot]

Armin Arlet x Fem! Reader. Oneshot. -Strong-

The first paragraph is purely a small introduction, just in case you wanna go straight to the fic :)

First of all, thanks for reading this! So! i often considered posting but i'm insecure, today i somehow got the confidence and courage to post -definitely not due to watching anime motivational speeches-. I wanted my first post to be something special so i dived deep down into my thoughts for a couple hours, i'm pretty happy with my choice so hope you enjoy it! My apologies if this sucks.

WARNINGS: Some sadness ig? -Armin being a pure soul. Fluff

Summary: Armin suddenly gets an injury during ODM gear training. After Reiner and his protective nature lend a helping hand, you see beyond the walls of his stoicism, people around him made his lack of strenght clear as day and he seemed to accept it but you never wondered if that caused him any pain at all. He needs to know everything has more than one meaning including what is called strenght, you gladly stay by his side to remind him different doesn't mean wrong.

Year 848 three years after the Colossal titan's misterious appearance, in Paradis Island Keith Shadis trained and yelled his lungs out at what soon would be the 104th Cadet Corps. Like any other day, the young cadets rutinarily trained to master the ODM gear, it all would have been the same as other sessions if it wasn't for Armin Arlet, your close and femenine looking friend who in a reckless (and failed-) attempt of proving himself strong to his group discretly tried performing a complex manouver resulting in him crashing into a tree. The few people ahead of him who stopped momentantarily to admire the manouever slowly resumed their way to the target they've had been assigned, just after a couple minutes of trying to walk bearing the pain the silhouette of someone along with the sound of gas and wires pulling something was getting closer by the second at the injured male. "Who's t-.. oh no.." Being around that person for so long made his oceanic eyes know who that brawny body and short blond hair belonged to inmediately, his deep voice shouting erased all the doubt. "Armin!" Reiner said rushing towards him as soon as his feet touched the the grass. As he looked for injuries, finding a twisted ankle, scrapes and bruises; Armin confirmed his suspicions: Reiner had dropped on what he was doing again just to help a single person. Right when he thought the guilt couldn't turn bigger he heard another familiar voice, this one belonged to a female. "Reiner! I saw you going back, what happened? Wait- Armin?!" Your voice turned alarmed after your (e/c) eyes catched a glimpse of your friend's characteristic golden hair, as if that would magically heal his injuries you rocketed towards your comrades at full speed. The crash- landing was rather ungraceful but it was merely trivial compared to an injured friend "(Y/N) are you-" Reiner held out his arms as he walked towards you but you ran past him leaving him standing alone with his arms opened like a rejected boy "Armin!!" You crouched down to him as it seemed he couldn't stand up, worrying you even more "...Hey (Y/N)... what are you..." His glance went lower as the guilt and shame's hand pushed his head down "What do you mean what am i doing? I noticed Reiner was going back from the front and i couldn't find you!- Hey what's wrong?" You asked after noticing a hint of sadness in his eyes, tilting your head and resting your forearms on your knees "Nothing, i must have hit my head that's all.." -because i dared prove something even myself knew full well- He replied blunty, making an adition mentally. His analytic mind was acting as a double ended weapon, either overnalyzing each and every one of his flaws or making the weight his frail shoulders were already carrying heavier. "Armin get on" Reiner said kneeling down turning his back to Armin so he could get on "Hm? It's not necessary, i-i'll just take my time to- ah!" Without further asking the muscular soldier turned around scooping your friend up from the ground into his arms bridal style, his eyes fixed on the grass and his lips released a soft sigh as embarrasment was displayed on his face. In other situation you'd have joked about how he looked cute being held like a baby but a hunch plus his face kept you completely from doing so. "You want to recover fast, don't you?" Reiner asked preparing his equipment to propulse himself again "Y-yeah but why.." "You'll only worsen your condition if you try walking, bear with it just for a while. Besides, what kind of soldier would i be if i left a friend behind knowing i can help him?" His hazel eyes noticed you were about to say something so he remained still to let you get close "It's okay don't be so hard on yourself i just crashed on the ground a moment ago, how did you call it the other day..? You didn't make a mistake, it was a happy accident! (Armin is Bob Ross.) How did you even find out about that manouever anyway?" "I've been analyzing the instructor's movements for a while now..." You deduced Reiner would take him to the infirmary wich he confirmed with a nod after you asked and so, it didn't take a single second for you to decide you'd go with them. The three of you flew and swung across the forest though it seemed like it only was you and Reiner, Armin was so quiet for a moment you even thought he was asleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------

"..Thank you very much Reiner" The blond thanked him now lying on his bunk, his ankle was bandaged up and his minor injuries were treateed "No problem, don't do anything until you're sure it won't hurt you got it?" "Don't worry Reiner i'll keep an eye on him 'till he's good as new!" You said cheerfuly with a smile as you sat by Armin's side, not caring a bit you were of the few girls in there. Once Reiner walked to his own bunk with Bertholdt you turned to Armin with a curious look "So what're you thinking about, you've been very quiet so it must be serious. Any new interesting thing about the outside world?" "Not really." His response was blunt again, something was definitely on his mind otherwise you couldn't explain why he wasn't as talkative as always. As he quietly stared at the matress above him you tried figuring out what could be bothering the boy since it was a lost cause trying to make him say it, you learnt this after countless tries, thankfully you could always ask for some help with Mikasa; her skills at everything including reading people were so good it was almost frightening. She wasn't there at the time and you couldn't rely on the others forever, a small leap of faith wouldn't do any harm, would it? There was only one thing you could think of. "Armin you are not weak." Your (e/c) eyes looked straight into his blue ones, silence reigned between you two before he hummed softly as if trying to deny "Why so?" It was as you suspected, he was blaming himself for making a simple mistake (-rolling girl vibes- sorry xd). You sighed resting your back on the headboard as your hand gently grabbed his forearm "You know it's not a bad thing to make mistakes, it's an everyday thing" "If we do become actual soldiers we'll risk our and the other's lifes everyday. This training is hard to make us strong, to make sure we don't make a single mistake that could lead to a tragedy" "You are not weak Armin." Your voice reasured in a firmer but gentle tone, he believed in what he had proof of, you would give him the proof he needed. Before he had the chance to turn on his side your hand grabbed his shoulder, making you two lock glances again, for your surprise small tears were forming on the corner of his eyes "I'm sorry.." "D-don't apologize it's okay! Come on let me help you what are you..?" He sat up shaking his head refusing to let a word out even when the tears slipped down his cheeks, it was painful to see Armin weep yet not ask for help, you've had been told he was like this since his childhood but it still was hard to believe and who knows if his overthinking made dealing with things on his own easier, he wouldn't try comforting himself. You sighed placing your hand on his shoulder and moving your thumb caressing the skin beneath his clothes, small muffled sobs could be heard coming from him "After that day on Shinganshina.. hundreds of people were sent there as if they were able to fight the titans, they didn't care if they were kids or elders- my grandfather went in my place, i know it wouldn't have made much of a difference but" He made a pause to try making his breathing go back to normal and hold back his tears, leaving just a small trace under his eyes "But he raised me, he gave me a name.. and i simply let him go straight to his death- i didn't make any effort to tell him i would go because i was scared.." You had to lean closer to listen clearly to what he was saying since he didn't want to drag anyone's attention besides yours "Sometimes i wonder what kind of things must have he felt when he realised he'd die alone..? I want to become a soldier to keep that from happening again, even though i'm just one it'd make a difference if only i.. wasn't such a weak coward" As he spoke you could almost feel the weight of his guilt resting on your shoulders for a moment, had he always been hiding in a shell? Ever since he was a child? A tear sprouted from the corner of your eye imagining how many times he suffered silently. You put your finger to your lower lip as you analyzed what your next move should be, after all it was Armin you were talking about, not all words would have effect on him "Strenght... physical strenght is not the only important thing, YES it is important in a soldier but the mind also matters! I can't lie, you get scared easily but so do i!. What about the snake from the other day? Someone had to remove it from your leg after you paralyzed but you were brave enough to not kick or scream in panic" Let's accept it you sucked at motivational speeches, your attempts usuallly ended up making him chuckle but it was some progress taking in mind you had no idea how to comfort him at the beggining. This time was no exception, he grew a tender smile but it faded away in matter of seconds "Come on Armin, you may be a little slim but what you don't have here-" Your hands abruptly dropped on his arms specifying you refered to muscles, then, your middle finger poked his forehead making him flinch "You have it here" "..What was that f-" He was cut off by your finger presisng against his lips "Shush- you are smart, incredibly smart you just have to see it! We all fall on our butts and feel scared of small things sometimes but that is what makes us humans, if we didn't feel fear or anything at all we'd be just like the titans!" You felt impressed of your own words, the look on his face made it clear he echoed the feeling. You wathed him move with his hands towards you before pulling you into one of the warmest hugs you've ever experienced; he held you so close and tightly you could feel his heart beating against you. "Thank you." His head rested on the crook of your neck, the gold strings of his beatiful hair falling over his face and tickling your nape slightly. You corresponded the gesture by eveloping him into your arms, slowly moving your palm up and down on his back "No problem....... Christa-"

Oof! That was long, congratulations if you read the whole thing!

[babiesdreams]

Superhuman +18 Chapter 1 [127]

Warnings: mentions of: blood, rape, traumas, gore (kind of)

Jungwoo’s story:

It’s always been in my blood, but I wasn’t aware of it at first. Maybe I should have noticed in the way my anger came out like a power bust sometimes. Maybe people around me should have noticed before. But now is too late to feel sorry about things.

It isn’t something bad to take advantage of your situations, to help your relatives, It shouldn’t be bad. 

The police’s siren marked the rythm of my heartbeats, but I tried to stay calmed, there was nothing suspicious about a young adult driving his car a few miles /metres away from a recently robbed bank. Not even if they cassually had a bag with a million dollars on the backseat. 

“Can I talk to you sir?” A tall policeman says tapping on my car’s window. “Yes” I politely reply, while I rolled the window down just enough for him to hear me. “Can we inspect your car? There’s been a robbery near by and we wanted to make sure-” My foot quickly stepped over throttle, to start driving through the busy streets. 

My mind was too focused on not driving into other cars that I almost forgot about my powers. After driving through three streets, I stopped the car completely, concentrating like I practiced. Everyone and everything freezed around me. Everything stopped, except me. 

I took my time to escape, as I had literally all the time on my hands. I was so scared of what could happen to me that I simply kept the world on pause for a whole month. Hours, days the all went through like nothing. 

I only stopped because my headaches were getting worse every minute, the pain was way too much to take, so I had to stop using my powers for a while. They eventually got me, and took me to prison, but luckily I could give the money to my family first. I hope they all can enjoy the life they deserved now.

I really hope so.

Taeyong’s story:

It’s always been a curse to me. I never felt normal, I was never normal I guess. I first noticed when I was five. My mom told me I was the best thing that happened to her, and the images passed through my head.

I was a product of a rape, and she tried her best to abort me, but it was too late, and then she just got used to it. She lost her job because of me, and all her friends left her. We moved to a new city and bills were trapping us in. I got to know that when I was only five.

Since then, I could always know when someone lied to me. I thought it was a stupid power, useless and harmful for myself, but it turned out to be harmful for others as well.

Knowing secrets is powerful, much more than what I thought. I got out a job because I knew the boss was cheating on his wife. I got a promotion because I knew a workmate was stealing stuff from the office.

I worked hard since I was fifteen to get to where I am, and I’m not gonna risk it all for a stupid project. I wasn’t gonna, but they have my mother, so I’m here to tell the truth. 

Yuta’s story:

When you’re like me, people misunderstand a lot of things. I was diagnosed with TDAH when I was three. Doctors said I lives a fast life, and that I should relax. They were simply wrong.

I live my life in between pills, xannys and all sorts of medication. But that shit only stops my body, my brain still works an 180% faster than the average human brain. My Iq was qualified as “untestable” and I’ve lives in labs my whole life.

Doctors wanted to figure out what caused my “disease” and they never stopped testing me. 

So I plotted an escape plan on a free hour I had. I faked eating the pills so that I could take back some of my physical speed, and then I left the lab, as fast as I could. When they realized I was out, I was already exactly 10.000 km away from them.

But I didn’t realize how freedom would get me lost, unpathed and really pityful. So I ended up taking drugs, which actually helped me getting some of my brain speed out, and be free of my own thoughts for a while. But drugs led me to a shameful path full of crimes.

Dongyoung’s story:

I’ve always lived apart from other humans. I was trapped into a jail, where the experimented with me. I never saw another human, not that I remembered. Everyone was so scared of my power I guess.

Nobody likes to be manipulated, but it’s something I couldn’t control. They made me believe I was a monster and I acted upon that. I never wanted to be harmful. But do you know how it feels to feel what others feel?

I get to feel others feelings constantly and they all get mixed up, and there’s so much anger in this world, and sometimes I can’t control that anger.

So yeah, maybe I manipulate people, but they made me feel bad first it’s just fair. I don’t want to feel this either.

When I escaped, everyone was too scared of me, I had to turn that into something less harmful, like, like exhaustion. I made them fall asleep, but I didn’t think about the consequences it all may have. 

So when I felt overwhelmed... well you know what happened... I also felt their sadness, the way their souls got out of their bodies, the way they cried their lungs out. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.

So I came here to learn how to control this.

Taeil’s story:

My powers came like something to be grateful for. My family were farmers, and the business kept going down. I still got the motivation to kept the farm going, and helping my family over the hardships of summer. 

I don’t even know how it happened. I guess I just grabbed a bunch of rotten tomatoes and picture them to be the best vegetables I could imagine, and It changed, taking the form I had in my head.

Of course I didn’t tell my parents how I got the perfectly looking vegetables and fruits, but it saved the business, and I kept on doing it until I realized it waisted too much of my energy. 

I want to make sure I can keep this going for more time until we get better, so I want to know how to improve with my powers.

Jaehyun’s story:

Transforming is never easy you know? The way I have to shape my body into something new and different from my original form, is not easy at all. I can transform myself into other humans, animals and even objects. 

It causes my body to get stiff sometimes, and even if the things I transform into are a perfect copy of reality they have certain limits. Human limits I guess. 

I remember this one time I turned into a plane, to escape from a robbery we did at a famous bank, it was kind of epic, but I ended up crashing into the ocean half way. 

The rest is kind of history, everyone knows me and my mate. Rest in peace. But now I want to take a good turn and use my powers for good.  That’s why I came here. But I must say I think I have what it’s needed to be a leader, so if we need a lead I think I can do it.

Mark’s story:

Okay so I was in middle school when this happened. I was too angry at my classmates, because they were always you know bullying me. So the thought came out of nowhere and I was just looking at the boy, and then his nose started bleeding a lot. 

I thought it was just a coincidence, until I bumped into that guy. Yo he was raping a girl, and I got too angry and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know his veins would explode like that. 

He bleed out in front of my eyes, I will never forget how life escaped his eyes. But the girl kept saying I was a hero so I thought it wasn’t that bad you know. I had the good luck that I was wearing a costume for my theatre classes. 

Media named me as the bomb hero. They thought I used some sort of inner bombs, I don’t know honestly. I just want to control myself to have a normal life for once. 

Johnny’s story:

I thought they were healing powers at first. My mother was at the hospital when I first noticed. I wanted her to get back to normal, and I guess I did. The thing is that I have to know exactly what I want to do to the body.

I knew my mother needed that cancer out so I just pictured it out(? I don’t know how to explain I just did it and she got back at her normal self instantly. 

But It is also harmful, like my brother Mark, I can make organs and veins explode, or modify them as I want, tho I’mm better at healing.

We came here together because we wanted to live as a family, without feeling weird or different. And I feel like we can get that in here.

Donghyuck’s story:

I discovered my powers a week ago but you already know that, you also probably know that I’m the most powerful out everyone here, so I don’t get the point of sharing my story when you literally recruited me. 

972: Lee Donghyuk, it’s a formal aspect we all agreed on, please do as you were told.

The robotic voice resounds all over the room, provocking me to sigh. “Fine. You want to know what I do?” I say, concentrating for a second, before I make the gravity dissappear on the said room. Everyone started to float in the air as I kept my feet on the ground. 

Then gravity came back, when I stopped controlling it, making them all fall into the ground. 

“You didn’t have to do that asshole” Jaehyun said in the distance, and I smiled to his stupid expression. “There’s no point in this anyway” I say, but everything turned a weird shade of blue fastly.

972: Welcome to the unit 127, you have been selected to the protection unit, you will be assigned with daily missions around the world that you will have to accomplish. I will always be watching your actions and if you go against the companies policies, we will inform the police to take you away. As long as you are here you are protected. 972 will always look after you.

“Are you like us?” Mark asked from the distance. The robotic voice answered a yes, that felt odd for everyone, but Taeyong started speaking the truth “She is more powerful than us and she’s leggit. Also she’s hiding behind that wall” The boy speaked calmly. 

Jaehyun turned into one of the security guards body, breaking the glass that was covering the misterious girl with a stong punch. Her soft and calmed expression got us all. She got out of the cage she was in gently, supporting herself on one of the guard’s hand. 

“You didn’t have to break that” She says calmly, repairing the broken mirror like nothing. The pieces slowy got back to place, like nothing had happened, at all. “I trust your ability of keeping secrets from now on, Lee Taeyong” her voice said calmly to the boy who simply nodded.

And like that she left the room, leaving us behind with all sorts of doubts. But I guess that’s how 972 worked, always wanting to keep the misterious atmosphere.

------------------------------------------------------

This is like a character introductions sorta so be patient for more parts pleaseee

Masterlist --requests open-- How to request?  Check out your score.

[hongnanglen-arina]

See You On Monday | SVT Interactive AU

02: Monster kitten

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Masterlist | Previous | Next

Warnings: none Words: 1.804 A/N: Hey there! Here’s the second chapter of my little experiment. At the end of each chapter you have to decide for the next move (please leave a comment on the chapter’s post to vote) Each week you have 3 days for making a decision until the next chapter comes out on Sunday. I hope you will like it… and as always, please remember that English isn’t my first language so excuse my grammar ♡

I may make a taglist :) tell me if you’re interested to be added

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You are still unsure what to do. Aren’t you supposed to stay in the background and just ‘play’ the game without revealing yourself? Are you allowed to show yourself to the boys? What if the game is over once you move that glass?

“Guys, that’s a stupid idea. Of course it’s not going to move.”

“Maybe the ghost is scared?”

“What ghost is scared of human beings?”

“Hey haven’t you seen that movi-“

“Quiet! It might decide what to do? Maybe it’s its first time people are talking to it.”

“Why ‘it’? Bet it’s a grumpy grandpa?”

“Bet it’s a cute girl?”

“What?!”

Grinning to yourself because of their conversation, you slowly walk over to the closet. Although the boys seem fun and cute, you wouldn’t be sad if the game suddenly ends. You aren’t too deep in the story yet and not too attached to the people in the game so why not?

You wrap your hand around the glass and watch the boys when you lift it and they immediately stop talking.

“O-oh god, I hate it h-here….”

“Oh.”

“H-how is that possible?!”

So the game won’t end here. Okay. Somehow amused, you see how the boys divide in 3 groups. One that’s freaking out and want to get away as soon as possible. One that’s calm and seemingly uninterested in the new information of a ghost sharing a room with them and one that’s overly excited to meet a ‘real ghost’.

“M-maybe it’s a little and lonely kitten.”

“Sure Seokmin. A giant lonely kitten if it’s able to lift that glass.”

“A monster!?”

“Guys, I asked you HOW.IS.THAT.POSSIBLE!?”

“Mistery mistery.”

“Yah Vernon, let’s check it out”, Wonwoo says and the two make their way over to the closet where you are standing with the glass in your hand. Quickly placing the glass of water back on top of the closet, you step to the side and swallow. They can’t hear you so what are you going to do now? How can you communicate with them?

“I saw in a game that whenever a ghost is near, the room temperature decreases.”

“Hao, that happens in games. Not in real life.”

Vernon walks up and down in front of the closet and you make sure to keep a safely gap between Vernon and Wonwoo so they won’t bump into you even though you are somehow sure they would go through you again as it happened before but the feeling was strange so this way was better you decide. Wonwoo doesn’t move much and just inspects the glass, sometimes looking over to the painting on the wall, his expression rather cold. 

“It feels the same wherever I go. Your game is a lie”, Vernon informs the others after a while.

“Hey, Phasmophobia is popular!”

“Won’t change the fact that it’s all a lie.”

“Does that mean.. there’s no ghost?” Seokmin is still suspicious, halfway hiding behind Mingyu who has a nervous expression on his face himself. All of a sudden Jeonghan joins you on the other side of the room and grabs the glass, taking a sip of it and some of the boys gasp loudly.

“What if it’s cursed?”

“Poisoned!”

“Jeez, calm down. I’m just thirsty.”

Seungcheol scratches his neck, slightly unsure of the whole situation. “Well… I’m sure there’s.. an explanation… to everything..”

“I want to be friends with it!”

“Wait, Hoshi. What? Why??”

“Weren’t we over ‘it’? It’s ‘him’! A grandpa!”

“You forgot ‘grumpy’.”

“Thanks Seungkwan”.

“No, Jun. It’s not a grandpa.”

“Yeah, because it’s a cute girl.”

“In your dreams Shua.”

“Why not?”

Suddenly the light goes off, causing you and some of the boys to yelp and squeak. You close your eyes and cling to something, shuddering as a scary sound fills the room you are in. It sounds like a storm moving doors and windows, making them creak and shudder. “Oh god… it’s scary..” you mumble and a whine leaves your mouth when you feel a warm hand carefully patting your back. Wait.

“Don’t worry. It’s alright”, he whispers close to your ear.

Your body stiffens, quickly opening your eyes again but you can’t see anything in the darkness. Who is this? Vernon or Wonwoo? Because you aren’t familiar with the voices yet, you are unsure who is holding you. Also, how he could do that since you’ve been invisible to everyone.. or not? How is he able to touch you? “H-how..”

“Shh.” He pats your back some more before the light goes on again. You blink and look in front of you. It was Wonwoo. But he has reattached himself next to the closet again, acting as if nothing happened, leaving you alone and confused.

“I hate it here! I want to go home!”

“Me too! Let’s go together, Dino!”

“Hey what about our trip? You can’t just leave!”

“We can go somewhere else!”

“And get ice cream.”

“Comfort food. Hell, yes.”

“But I want to be friends with the ghost.”

“You can stay here Hoshi.”

“Yeah it’s all payed. Enjoy yourself.”

“Wow, what even are friends?”

“I… will stay with you.”

“See? Woozi is the real bestie here.”

“I will stay too. I’m curious what will happen.”

“Thanks Hao.”

Minghao gives Hoshi a short nod. You have been listening to them talk to each other with interest but you can’t deny that you want to know what Wonwoo was thinking. He must be sure of your presence. Wasn’t he the one who heard you speak before?

“Everyone who wants to leave, raise your hand!” Seungkwan stands in the middle of the room with his hand held high, looking around as if he was watched by.. a ghost. You.

“Guys we can’t leave like this. We payed for it. I’m sure we won’t get our money back if our reason is.. a ghost.”

“But you can’t forget Seungkwan’s wallet.”

“The thief.”

“Oh yeah, sorry.”

“My camera.”

“Oh yeah, sorry Mingyu.”

“Is there a refund for lack of safety?”

Jeonghan leans against the closet, glass swirling in his hand like it’s filled with an expensive liquor. “I’m not a fan of this place myself. But shouldn’t we sort things out before be leave?”

“Like?”

“Like.. inform the owner of this place?”

“About the thief.”

“The kitten.”

“A giant kitten.”

“Monster kitten.”

“Hey!”

During their little fight, you notice Vernon and Wonwoo whisper to each other but you can’t hear them clear enough. Did he tell him about you? You are about to close the gap between them when the heavy wooden door opens with a loud thud. Since when was the door closed??

/Dinner is ready. Please come to the dining room on floor 2./

Everyone looks up, searching for a loudspeaker or anything but there is nothing. Just two lamps.

“Oh I hate it here. So much.”

“Who was that? Where did it come from?!”

“We didn’t pay for meals.. that’s strange.”

“Wanna know what’s more strange?”

“What Vernon?”

“There was no floor 2.”

Silence. Uncomfortable silence filled the room and even you wanted to get out if this place although you were just a player of a video game. But it slowly became real to you. Stupid VR glasses.

“Let’s go and see.”

After a seemingly long time, Wonwoo was the first to break the silence. But not everyone was happy about his suggestion.

“C-can’t we stay here?”

“Even better, leave??”

“You can go, we wait here.”

“I won’t let you go alone.”

Slowly two groups are formed but Seungcheol isn’t satisfied. “No, we should stick together. No one knows what is happening here and I don’t want anyone to get hurt or something.”

“As much as I hate to admit but.. we can’t stay here and just wait for everything to be over. We won’t know for sure what it’s all about unless we go there and find out… and I’m actually hungry. Very.” Mingyu says with one hand above his head but gaze lowered to his feet. Seokmin behind him looks at him with his mouth wide open.

“I’m hungry, too.” Jun adds.

“Yeah.”

“Well.. sounds good… let’s go.” Mingyu cocks his head to the door but his steps are very slow, causing some of the boys to laugh in disbelief. “You want to check it out but you’re too scared to lead.” Dino shakes his head.

“I never said I would go first!”

“I know who should go first!” 

“Who?”

“My new friend mister Ghost!”

“Hoshi that’s a stupid idea.”

“When have you become friends with it?”

“It’s not ‘it’!”

“Jeez, guys! Let’s go to floor 2!”

Jeonghan massages his shoulder and makes his way to the door. With some muffled complains the other quickly join. The last in lane are Mingyu, Seokmin and Seungkwan. You follow them. Why was the hallway so dark? Because it was late by now?

No one said a word while you walked to the second floor. Seeing doorsteps that weren’t there before was very weird indeed. 

“You’re not scared Hao, right? You could go first.” Minghao studies Dino for a while but answers with a short “Okay.” Everyone stays close to Minghao as you all enter a huge dining room which is brightly illuminated by big chandelier. A stark contrast to the rest of the guesthouse. It even feels like a whole different building.

When you enter the room as the last, the door automatically closes behind you. The boys look at the door but no one dares to complain since there was a ghost with them. They might think you closed it.

“It smells so good!”

In the middle of the room is a long table with all sorts of dishes and side dishes, fruits and also little snacks. Everything evenly spread over the whole table. Everyone get closer to the food, still cautious. Your stomach growls and Seungkwan turns around to you, eyes growing wide and he gives you a nervous smile before turning around, clinging tightly onto Seokmin’s arms. He didn’t see you, right?

You notice that Vernon already sat down on one of the chairs. Once the others noticed it too, they all join in finding their own chair without an exchange of words.

“Jun what are you whispering to Dino?”

“Why do you wanna know, Shua?”

“Spill.”

He meets every pair of eyes before pointing to his side. “We have 14 chairs.”

“Nothing weird. In restaurants we always have one spare.”

“But now it has a different meaning.”

“Why is that so?”

“For mister Ghost!”

“O-oh….”

“Gosh I’m so hungry. It smells heavenly! I Can’t wait!”

You stand behind the empty chair, watching Mingyu grab a fork and dive it into the fries.

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What are you going to do?

Take the fork out of his hand OR let him try the food?

You can decide.

[nickitita0w0]

"Honestly, I didn't expect a little girl to be able to improvise that well. Can you come back tomorrow?"

"I think I can!"

"Do you have a place where you can sleep?"

"For sure!" I straightened the jeans he had given me and said goodbye to the manager.

I can't believe I sang in front of several people at a restaurant! It was like a dream come true.

I returned to the abandoned house, happy with life, with a lunchbox in my hands and a smile on my face, so happy that I looked like a bouncing hare on the street sidewalk. On top of that, I managed to get a small tip off praise and positive comments from some of the customers.

The next day, I was only 30 minutes late and heard a loud noise. I ran inside and saw the same two boys the day before yesterday and yesterday, arguing. The blonde one with a fork on his hand, ready to attack his... Friend? Apprentice? I don't know what they are to eachother. And why the others sitting next to them were doing absolutelly nothing?!

A tall man with a white suit, beautiful blue eyes like sapphire and short black colored hair appeared, ready to scold both the young ones. He wasn't alone. The same girl with dazzling emerald green eyes and pink hair was by his side.

I quickly grabbed the microphone and the guitar, ran to the same place where I sang yesterday and said:

"Hello, everyone, sorry for being late! Today, I have a very special song for the gentleman at the table. Right in the corner! But anyway, enjoy!"

Everyone at the restaurant looked at me and got confused at first. But, then I shut my eyes, sighed and started playing my guitar.

"Hmmmm... Nanananana... Somebody once told me, the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed! They we're looking looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb

In the shape of an "L" on her forehead... Welp!"

The small boy cheered up and his purple eyed color started shining. The silvered hair man even took off his headphones to listen.

"The years start coming but they don't stop coming! Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun! Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go... You'll never shine if you don't glow WOO! HEY NOW! You're an All Star! Get your shoes on and go play! Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid! And all that glitters is gold... Only shooting stars break the mold!"

Everyone vibed at All Star. Using a different tune from the original song and put on a little bit more rhythm was a good idea!

A man wearing red pants and something that resembled a headdress even stood up to applaud and whistled. And I did the same thing yesterday. I sang a few more songs before going to lunch in the corner. And that's when I feel someone approaching. It's a good time to panik?

"Excuse me... I know it's your break, but... Thank you. I was about to give a reprimand to those two, but the way you positioned yourself was extremely surprising!" it was the man with the sapphire eyes.

"O-Oh! It was nothing! Are they... Still... Getting along?"

"Narancia and Fugo discuss quite a lot but believe me, they are great friends. By the way, I'm Bruno. Bruno Bucciarati" he smiled. A smile like his was so pure that my heart melted inside.

"Nicole. But you can call me Nico."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, bambina. You can join us for lunch if you want."

"But... Where is that other blonde guy? You must know him. Green eyes, hair tied in a braid..."

"Giorno? He won't join us today because he's... Kinda busy..."

"I noticed it... Guess your... Friends..."

"Oh! Right. Well. Will you join or no?"

For a moment, I hesitated. But gave in. It would be rude turning off and he could be disappointed or even sad. And also... Why not try talk with other people?

"Everyone, this is Nicole. I invited her to lunch with us today. She don't speak italian so watch your tongues."

After greeting everyone, I sat between Narancia and Mista. Somehow, being with boys make me more comfortable than being with other girls. Other girls sometimes scare me... For some reason...

. . .

"It was really nice to meet you, Nicki!" Mista held my hand and smiled.

"It was absolutelly great to meet you all. But... I gotta go home now... It's getting dark and..."

"You want some company?" asked the tetraphobic.

"No. I can walk alone by myself. See you guys again someday?"

"You bet you'll see!" said Narancia.

I said goodbye to the gang and ran until I didn't see them anymore. They seemed to be close together as a family. Abbacchio for some reason, made my heart pound. He's so... Misterious and... Elegant... His light silver hair... The look in his eyes is at the same time telling he has lots of things to tell but so empty... My stomach feels strange as if there are several butterflies inside beating its wings with everything, just thinking about him.

Speaking of butterflies, I looked around, making sure there was no one else on the streets and to light my way, I called my stand. The little fire butterfly lit my way so I could see and... Well. It's silly, but since I was a little girl, I've been terrified of being in the dark.

It was another lonely night in the empty house falling apart. Just me. My stand. And the fireplace with the fire that warmed my body in the cold night. Or at least I thought it was just the "three" of us...

[HMMMM]

[shytiff]

Small Dec Wins

i cant believe its December already tf?!?!?!

1 - poli KIA today. saw a mother who cant feel the movement of their baby. the senior midwife tried to find the baby’s heart beat but not finding it. she said she hopes she were wrong. fell asleep at 3pm-ish, woke up super hungry. ate. i swear i feel like my weight when i measured it this morning was ~52, but after eating its close to 54 lol. eating banana and chocolate nextar is yummm. dalbang today is hella funny as always and suuper endearing. fell asleep after dalbang, didnt study hufttt

2 - today im at igd but joined azkia at vk for a bit to see partus. its not that im scared (maybe not consciously) but when the mom was being stitched i felt lightheaded, nausea, cold extremities, and i even had to squat multiple times because i couldnt stand. But i felt better after the partus so maybe seeing it was the cause. I did not feel scared at all honestly ._. and i’ve seen multiple partus before. i dont know why. i can literally feel my symphatetic tone giving out lmaoo. tried matcha latte with Cy matcha powder. it tasted more milky and grassy. mom thought it tasted like nori. i prever cocodeli alll the way (although Cy is cheaper). i think it also has a bit of caffeine that made me feel awake like a normal person should be. 

3 - today is vk but there’s no patient so thank god i saw sumn yesterday. did some cicil ukmppd in the morning accompanied by matcha latte. tried to order dufan tickets and i couldnt find my damn ktp...... fell asleep after worrying about said ktp

4 - matcha latte in the car, swab at lmk, went to dufan by tj with willy, had quite some funn with atikah nila willy amel pupuy. first time trying kereta misteri, quite fun. it rained after ashar so we didnt ride anything after that. turns out my ktp was at barel’s fotocopy lmaoo thankyou ara for picking it. went to solaria ancol afterwards, picked up by mom. i didnt tell her in the morning that i was going to dufan lmao. plenary @ zoom 19 pm. rapat nemo. fell asleep.

5 - went to lmk by tj to surprise clara. went back home and fell asleep. didnt rly do anything afterwards because this ragged body gets tired easily and i dont eat much recently. i can feel the difference before and after eating and there’s actual energy after eating. its not that im hungry though, but i feel less energized. felt annoyed terrible and just wanna lay in bed (this is unrelated with the less food in my system). even though i met up with friends

6 - after LOTS of sleeping i feel somehow better but not to a ‘normal’ amount. watched kimbab family videos. did power vinyasa by doogether with fianti. took a shower and ate indomie and i felt quite normal, except i slept again wtf. i thought i would have the second half of the day but nah. did self tryouts with fianti, 150 FDI questions. I got 96/150 right. huft. such a great reality check

7 - poli lansia with dokter isip, matcha latte in the afternoon rly helps me not sleeping the day away, packed up for depok

8 - poli umum with dr gita (helped doing phys exam), packed the rest of my stuff, ate some risol and matcha lattteee in the car, took swab results, picked up hazmats etc, zoom discussion with FT PKM Kalideres (dr gita) on the way, and i finally arrived at tamel. dinner is granola with vsoy. Taste like a slightly wet granola bar, nutty fiber-y vibe

9 - walked in ui with ara, managed to jog from the trees near st ui until kuburan bikun wow. i reached that point where my leg and heart were going in a steady unburdened pace and my willpower to keep going on was tested. tried the signature steak in Double U Steak by Chef Widi, while ara tried ribeye. the ribeye was more tender than the signature. but the seasoning in the signature is quite delish, salty and oily without being too much (like futago ya). read poppyland fast pass from ara’s phone omg season 1 is finally complete! went to coftof (omgggg i miss this place), it looks different now. ordered matcha latte and it tasted weirdly like a soy milk although ara doesnt feel that way. the matcha tasted weird. wont repurchase. read chainsaw man, its so entertaining, funny and deep at the same time. denji mess around and be too naive sometimes but hes lowkey hot lmaooo. aki is lovvvvve.

10 - first day at rsud budhi asih. had moesli combined with granola + vsoy for brekkie. went back to tamel at 3 pm. it rained when i got back. bought warteg lugina worth 32k. walked to sbux for tumbler day its been a while since i had their matcha latte. it tasted quite good, but not as good as i remembered (?) maybe bcs i asked for non fat milk. sbux closes at 8 pm for now hikss

11 - left tamel at about 7:10 and arrived on budhi asih at 08:54 yalll the traffic. Icu. Bought eatlah double and ate the salted egg part. Nap. ICU discussion with dr Dedi @8pm. I presented from my phone to save data hehe,,

12 - woke up at 8, eatlah brown butter for brekkie, symcard, saladstop's caesar salad for lunch (quite 'eneg' because i didnt eat the cheese evenly so the chicken and cheese were eaten last after the vegs are out. The vegetable's not that variative, and the non vegs make the salad taste delicious (albeit maybe not THAT healthy). Evening jog @UI and i realized i can get wifi sitting near the lake n library. Stared at the night sky from my room, i swear the sky seems super clear. Saw tiny fireworks in the distance

13 - ate muesli and saladstop’s banana walnut cake, symcard, bought moon chicken and saladpoint. lunch was egg salad and the wings. the original tasted so good like??? maybe i havent had msg for a while. also tried big bang, not too spicy which is nice. cicil ukmppd. put my laundry at buih barel lmaoo. try out with fianti. got 70/100

14 - breakfast was salad and leftover chicken. today was bangsal with angga armand. the geriatric patient has a loud murmur yall (and scoliosis, so much that the heart looks distorted). went to margo city to see sales, but when i think about it id rather just thrift stuff lmao. bought lugina. slept through kuliah guru besar. writing this in yellow truck coffee, that had 2 customers on the 1st floor including me. tried banana milk. yall after trying to drink less sugar the beverage tasted super sweet. my headache just goes away. sugar is magic but unhealthy whyyyyy.

15 - igd siang with indah. This body sure is frail. Did cbd with dr afifah AND rescheduled pleno. Rip mobile data i have to use for hotspot.

16 - ok today. Inserted goedel and did bagging. I bagged the patient the wrong way at first (too much). Thankfully the nurses were kind and taught us a lot :) watched some bts content. I feel like after reading househusband my tiktok page is now immensely funnier. Dalbang is also hilarious as always. Put on ginseng sheet mask (smells quite strong)

17 - bangsal. snacked on fried chicken. matcha latte starbucks (turns out its quite full here) and liqo about keeping our tongues in check

18 - arrived at icu. And then opened line. Turns out hadin's swab is positive, so agung kak iman and me have to isolate and swab. So i went back. Ordered kanayam chicken and fish and tempe. Nasi liwet tasted goood damn. Sleptt in the afternoon. Pleno at 4 pm (entered the room 4:30). Had no motivation to do anything. Azkia is getting married! Spent 20 mins formulating words to congratulate her lmaoo

19 - osce simulation, kak nanu was so kind and encouraging. Did try out solid. Lunch is fish bite pasta with melted cheese (cause i had to reach the minimum amount for promo). It got cold so its not that good (pairing it with self made mentai sauce, mixing the mayo and chili, is way much better). Jogged in ui (and searched for wifi). Approached by someone selling haraus coffee (25k), saying that some earnings will be for charity. Its basically sweet. Can barely taste the coffee.

20 - had kanayam for lunch (brekkie is almost always muesli lately). The nasi liwet tasted much better the first time. Walked to yellow truck coffee in the pouring rain. Got banana milk. Saw webinar ksk (electrolyte correction and dr nadhira talkshow). What i got from it is that, dr nadhira is a different person from the first place. Shes visionary, knows what she want and not afraid to reach it. The mindset is different. Even if i try as hard as her, her propensity to growth is different. Cicil ukmppd. Try out with fianti (got 72/100). Talked for an hour about love and marriage and engagements (there are so much of it lately)

21 - leftover kanayam for brekkie, also ate roti salman in cikini st. swab today (met kris, nessa and others). muesli for lunch. i thought my body felt a bit warm, so i decided to find sumn to eat. tried kedai abu bakar’s spaghetti brulee. its okay. maybe because its not too cheesy or meaty, mainly bechamel sauce. the one pupuy made is much tastier. finished the whole 10x20 portion in 2 eating sesh. cicil ukmppd @ bed in the evening (somehow felt refreshed enough to be able to concentrate in bed)

22 - went early to icu to put dops form. lugina for early lunch. i feel like my metabolism is faster? or my body is not so much in calorie deficit mode anymore and it got greedier lmao i used to just ignore hunger but not now, for health. starbiiies tumbler day. ordered black tea latte with non fat milk and vanilla syrup (because raspberry syrup is no more). did cbd geri ppt. 

23 - finally knew the swab result bcs kak iman asked kak farras. thankfully negative. igd with jordi. quite a few chances to do iv line, but i failed 2 times. managed to do iv injection to insert 2 drugs. saw the worst cpr ive ever seen in my life. its too slow, with maximal interruption. fish bite for lunch. wasted the rest of my day

24 - originally intended to run but i cant bring myself out of bed. packed up my stuff. picked up by mom. got the paper result of swab, got ksk from kelvyn @ capitol. can finally drink self-made matcha latte again, but it tasted horrible. i know cy matcha doesnt have that much going on, but even this is low even for them. previously i was starting to get used to the grassy smell.

25 - my lil bro remarked “maybe shes depressed because she doesnt have her chair”. fuck yall. this “depression” that im in is caused by this very place and the people. and im supposed to still muster the strength to study for ukmppd AND get my face together for solid book photoshoot. that shit is too much. this is why the money that goes to cafe, and the bike ride there is worth it for my sanity. after showering, things felt a bit better. had absolutely no will to study today. ate muesli with a bit of matcha latte.

26 - muesli for breakfast. matcha latte is lyfff ive probably said this before but it ~somehow~ makes me feel normal and not in a slump. like im a regular person. with normal moods. and not wanting to sleep all the time. i try to do ukmppd exercises but the pace is so fucking slow, bcs im distracted by get rich haha,,,. the latest potn update (64) is omgggg the mixed feelings? love? hate? anger? everything and nothing? the ~tension and passion~? im obsessed. watched a ton of bts content today and yesterday lmao.

27 - nasi kebuli for brekkie. went to flavola, im the first customer lmao. tried kopi susu coklat, tasted quite close enough to janjiw’s kopi soklat. had the same ~improved mood and concentration~ effect. tried to read ksk. bought milky banana 1L from puyo to give dajen (its his bday yesterday) (i feel prompted (?) to gift people when theyve given a present to me) (because my love lang is not gift giving at all so i barely think abt gifts lmao). talked with sum 33 ipa guys @ dajens house. yay appropriate amount of social battery charging. tryout with fianti, padi this time. got 67/100. 

28 - ate muesli with matcha latte after breakfast. cicil ukmppd. Listened to yoongi's vlive until i fell asleep lol. 2 burger and salad for dinner. omggg hansol revealed his gf. 

29 - spent half of my day tidying up the mess that is my room. figured out what to wear for solid book photoshoot with fianti, ara. matcha latte terosss. phd for dinner. 

30 - breakfast is muesli with cimory choco hazelnut. mom made matcha chocolate brownies. tryna study. slow pace terosss. read some padi materials. dalbang.

31 - bought vsoy low sugar and multigrain. moved my body a bit to youtube videos. showered. felt better. it also rained (which i love). the pleasant mood only lasted til the evening. did nothing from 7pm even though im not sleepy. cant tell when did i start to sleep

and just like that, 2020 kkeut. its sad to say i dont rly remember much remarkable things this year. other than the trip and memories with minor rotation friends. i just remember wasting my life away in my house. i guess that’s the danger of living a monotone life. sometimes you gotta invest some time to have fun, to have motivation to live on and do things. not doing this makes it difficult to live day by day. and friends. meeting friends, seeing new stuff. that helps me live. 

[eduards-stuff]

Welcome to eduard 1 am ramblings

I was recently watching videos on YouTube and seeing a video of a couple meeting through vr and all the struggles they been through and just meeting people in vr.

I started to thin the line between reality and virtuality is cuz as technology progresses and people have like full body tracking with haptic feedback so you can feel peoples touching you and who poked your back the line really starts to blur.

You meet all of these people you interacts with them and some you may start to connect and start a bond with or a date as some do.

And the more you spend time the morr you get attached to things.

At some point I could see people get possibly more attached to the avatar than the real life if there are maybe huge differences because we start associating that imagine or avatar as the person we are everyday and see laugh and act and speak so i could totally see someone get attached that way.

If you have a tiny stylised girl with like ears of a fox and a tail in a specific outfit like a leotard or something aesthetically pleasing and after like months of speaking to her like that you transition to the real life or on a discord call and she's not the "image" you imagined I can kind of see a sort of disconnect between perceived desire of what youd like she to look like and the reality as there is no way the certain avatars to exist so there could definitely be anxiety about it and confusion.

The more vr becomes morr used in gaming and hanging out especially in quarantine I could totally see how it will be used as escapism cuz you can touch people in vr without having to worry about distancing and so much more especially bond intimally.

There are people Who post as girls and try to make it as realistically as possible even with voice modulators it seems.

Imagine the hurt if you had someone you were very interested in and it turned out not only they lied to you but also played along and could maybe discard it all once the facade is up.

Especially in the times of corona losing that type of deep emotional connection in times of need can really mess someone up.

As on the virtual reality it seems we are somehow more vulnerable as some of the social bariers are down as we aren't exactly at shame and at risk with some anonymity but somehow the connection people do are a lot deeper

Been single for a while and wirh the quarantine had been a lot of things that I though of . Soft things, things to do to experience and share wirh someone I really liked and do all sorts of cheesy things too.

I would actually enjoy a candle lit and full moon dinner or something cuz I'm that kind of soft weak bitch whose thst extra

Or something simple or special at home as I also enjoy cooking but and if it makes someone feeling happy would feel like the effort is worth it.

Another thing that would be really nice to do is go to the bitch and have a picnic there bring some food some blankets and pillows in a rent pick up truck

And see the sea/ocean have some food and some drink if the situation call for it and have a projector and warch a movie or some pictures collage that can be set up between the 2 of them.

And then look for a star shower or some kind of cosmic event cuz space is cool!!

While writing like stories and role-playing as specific characters I definitely thought of and found out a lot of these amazing scenarios that I could totally make if the right opportunity arises all in a notebook for like date ideas but thise never really came to be used as I never found someone interested to share these in real life so there' are just bubbles of hope that is like one day to materialise

Maybe some of these some peoppe can do in the virtual reality but then the parting becomes even more painful and the disconnect between reality and fiction becomes even more as we spend more time and are engaged in vr

So would it be worth it ?

To see it possibly be ruined?

What is reality more than just a lot if facts and observations we do for ourselves

I know right I'm 14 and this is deep shit but it does feel kind of true

As at some point you will be able to have full dive vr and actually live 2 totally different lives and possibly love the ability to differentials it anymore

As you start to wonder does your love for someone connected to them or the avatar thay they are acting as ?

As avatars don't really have flaws or imperfections and can be meticulously designed to look like the person you wanna appear as.

You still made those choices and hard work to appear as that thing and the choices of designs you did are yours but the imagine may not always correlate to you when someone looks at them.

Really odd thing how the human psychology does that thing of bonding to ideas an perceptions.

I sure hope a lot of people got what they deserved and wished for cuz it seems like the level of deep hurt not a lot of places can reach

I think this is it for now quite a long ramblings that I've been doing by myself or just spewing to a friend about and left it in the ether but I thought would be maybe healthier to try to find another way of channelling my thought

Or some kind of fixation right now through this writing and sort some of process what i am thinking right now cuz sometimes it is a mistery to me even what i am about to type next as it Jus r flows one word after another without much in mind .

My mind being very empty right now but yeah I should end my ramblings here and scream them into he good and find a different kind of coping mechanics and not rely on someone listening and Just continue screaming into the anonymous void and hope someone understands what I'm saying and I'm not try my insane as I think I am.

Sometimes I have the feeling I really am just predictable and the 1 note but sometimes I surprise myself with emotions being complex and not knowing what to do but to just I guess pine for someone to do amazing things wirh but I know that may or may not come and I'll just have to accept that as it is or try to change that myself in some way

But as far as I'm aware there are a lot of way to do that and find a way to find comfort on someone as social standards and pressure don't let you just walk up to people and say hi or much.

If someone's reading this as I'm screaming into the void you can always reach put and talk and have actual deep conversation.

I think what i may be feeling is what a lot of people have been feeling but more accentuated as I didn't had a place to go in my town as there literally not much to do than go to my library and read a book or take a walk but now not even being able to go there even the rare times I went still affects me and feeling isolated and alone on an island with no one next to them.

I think we all felt like that over the course of 2020 which really sucks the more it goes especially with school starting

I really hate that corona csme exactly when I has hope and plans to go in exchange wirh another person in uni and life somewhere else and meet new people tried so hard at exams to be sure I will be able to go only to be slowly crushed ad corona changed it all and into rejected by then and not being able to join to other places so i just lost the train.

These are the moments I overfixated on things and can talk about them for like 20.000 words before crashing and ssying words like they are knives of sharp air going out of my throat for the next 8 hours after this extensive monologue.

Monologue which seemed to go for ages but we all need a place and a way to express whatever you feeling cuz we all need therapy in 2020 I needed way before that in 2012 but only realised like 2 years ago .

So there we go we all need help and it's okay to just talk about it and just get lost in the sea of posts that hopefully somehow won't end up biting me in the ass somehow back.

If someone was interested enough to psychoanalyse this sheet of had the patience please tell me cuz I'm also dieing to know what made you so bored to do this and what you can interpret from this rambling at what guess what now I've been typing for like 15 minutes quite a feat .

I wonder if Tumblr posts have a limit in character usage I don't know I guess will find out soon shouldn't we at some point well reach it . I should probably go to bed now my moms keep nagging me to go to bed I should finish this and go good night thank you if you somehow got to this 10 k word essay rambling and go to the end I don't know how you had the patience to read though my possibly adhd and hyperfixation ass you're a dsmn legend.

Well see ya good night

[distinguishedbananamuffinhero]

I have a million things to talk about, and a crazy lot of ideas to share, I know I'm not the most well-read person in this world, but I do know things, and I do know how to tackle subjects, in my own way, it worked so far, I tend to believe, that yes it is very good to read and so on, but I wanna find out my own way, I wanna write my own path that will constitute my fate, I love the great minds that have walked on this earth and I cannot respect them more, but I think that maybe each and everyone of us has to find their own ways within themselves, to create their own set of values and beliefs, because for the first time in thousands of year, the individual can think for himself, this, for sure, if he wants to, if he choses to add life to his fate, we can finally take our own decisions, that I think will not define us, because we as a race, we are so volatile, one can say we all are bipolar, we needn't do what it suits the other as long as it doesn't interfere with his well being, but most certainly we should follow our values and beliefs, and principles, because those can lead us to ourselves, so yeah what I want to say is, yes, we should read what the best of our kind wrote, but I think maybe it will be intresting if we try to tranquil our thoughts and make the most out of them, create our own path through fate of course, not preaching it as the best there is but try to work our mind and life, find in ourselves the way it will lead to peace, maybe, who knows, I certainly don't know right now, but I do really feel like something inside me is moving, maybe this is why I prefer sometimes so much time alone, and some other times I hate it, because I want to know what my body and brain can do without outside help, and I know there is somethig that I myself may reach, my full well-being, but till' then imma be a weird ass weirdo, and what the fuck is life and what the fuck are we? Where do we come from? Are we still just a bacteria? Does this life have rules? Do we need to follow them? I know I the moral thing to do, but we came out of chaos what if peace is what it'll end us? What if ballance is the true unballance? Neah, I think ballance is what's the good way, but those were thoughts crossing through my mind, and I chose to put them down because I can see what's going through my head most of the time, and I swear I wanna break the mistery but at the same time let it a secret. My brain is my own unending book that I didn't even get to open properly, and certainly I missused it poorly, but as time passes and pages unfold I get to know the language it envelopes, and I can't get a better feeling, and I don't expect others to understand me, because we all have our own books inside us, so lick your fingers and turn the pages lads, I think it will be worth it, GODDAMMIT I LOVE MY BRAIN, AND I LOVE MYSELF, I'VE GOT SO MANY PROBLEMS BUT I'M SO INTRUIGED, LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS NOW!! =))))) I GOT SO MANY OTHER THINGS THAT I WANTED TO ADD, BUT FUCK THEY SO MANY, I FEEL OVERLOADED, MAYBE NEXT TIME

[kaibutsushidousha]

Artbook Data - Tsumugi Shirogane

Best girl doesn’t disappoint.

Seiyuu’s comment: Mikako Komatsu

She looks very much like a class representative, so I first expected her to be like a cool big sis, but when I got to play her it turned out she was much instable character, always getting overexcited about the things she like. I didn’t have much experience with this type of character, so I had a lot of fun with her. I’m really looking forward to play this game for myself.

Kodaka’s comment: The fanatic mind hidden in “plain” sight

She’s named “Shirogane” because it’s a name gives sort of a “honours student” vibe and “Tsumugi” because she is the one who weaves the story. This is a verbal representation of her mentality that allowed the killing games to continue. The keyword for her design was “honours student-like” and for her personality was “cringey otaku”. I personally wanted her to have vaguely likeable features without looking any special, but if I made her too lacking in personality it would get suspicious, so I tried to make her stand out from time to time while still keeping her plainness as her central gimmick and find this balance was extremely difficult.

The “Super High School Level Cosplayer” characterization was established starting from its final punchline: the alternating transformations. Reverse-engeneering from this established conclusion, we defined her as a cosplayer. And then we made her mixing this with the vaguely-defined “honours student” keyword we set from before. I had quite a tough time trying to decide how her “true personality” sprite, how it should be different from her regular sprites, what indications should I give to the seiyuu and stuff. I wanted her to be something more than just threatening... So we made her in a way she feels like an escalation of the outside world’s worldbuilding, a world hopelessly obsessed with DanganRonpa.

She has some “fun cosplay stories” in the first half of the story and her free time events. These were all stories I got by interviewing real cosplayers. I think that’s  the first time I actually interviewed someone to make a character. But it was very worth it, seeing how well-liked she is among the cosplayers.

By the way, about her cosplays of past characters, I really wanted to include the the characters from the DanganRonpa 3 anime. However, we didn’t have enough budget nor ready sprites, so my idea was almost immediately rejected. We’re limited to videogames, 1 and 2. Ultra Despair Girls was removed for being as spin-off and I cry every time I remember this fact. But even without them, the voice acting cost for the final parts already killed me... I’m sorry I had this idea.

Design Notes:

Plain Glasses: A must-have item for the plain folk. We’ll never figure out whether wearing glasses make you plain or if being plain attracts glasses but we still not for sure this is the plain character’s trademark.

Plain Face Out of Costume: Normally, she gets called a plain face a lot. But if Shirogane words “When I take my glasses off, I transform” are real, she could probably look like a different person with the power of her make-up.

Company Badge: 

A misterious company’s badge. She keeps it hidden in her person instead of wearing it so it won’t disturb her plain visual. Is it a cosplay office or is it perhaps something else...?

Plain Conversations: Shirogane’s speech pattern has the distinticve otaku quality: she’s only talkative about her hobbies and normally just reacts to what other people are saying and nothing else. She shows up for breakfast every morning, so the reason why people forget she exists so much is indeed because she is plain!?

Plain Body: When it comes to cosplaying a wide range of characters, having curves too wide can sometimes be counterproductive and you can hear many ingenious tricks to purposely make your chest look smaller, bigger, etc. Good thing she’s was born with a plain, moderate body, perfect for cosplaying.

Plain Uniform: A high-waist skirt with a form-fitting jacket. But even an uniform so cleverly design to emphasize her femininity so strongly becomes plain when Shirogane wears it.

Underwear: A pair made for the ultimate final battle. But they are not for show, so she firmly refuse to take low angle photos.

Favorite presents:

Cosplay Carrying Bag: A carrying case highly demanded by cosplayer for being easy to carry. Very useful for things like travels and of course, conventions. Something Shirogane would probably consider a trusted partner.

Photostore: An image editing software used mainly to retouch photographs. Perfect to erase flaws in your make-up or visible freckles. Indispensable for any cosplayer nowadays.

Sewing Set: A portal kit all the basic tools necessary for sewing. In the context of cosplay, she can use it to immediately fix a damaged piece. Indispensable for Shirogane’s daily life.

Steels Glasses Case: It’s sturdy enough to protect your glasses from any kind of shock, even being stepped on by an Exisal. After all, glasses are as super important as underwear! 

Hated present:

Death Flag: An item with an unexplainable effect of increasing it’s owner chances of dying. A rare case of an item hated by Shirogane, who is otherwise very proud of her open-mindedness.

Key phrases:

Cosplay is an Equivalent Exchange: The cosplays that defined Shirogane as the Super High School Level Cosplayer are famous and popular enough to earn her sponsors and their selling point is faithfulness to the original’s character design. That said, she prefers devoting herself to making the costumes rather than wearing them and acting the character. For that reason, she has a lot of complaints about the current community of idol-like cosplayers and vocally expresses them in order protect the quality and the soul of cosplaying. By the way, the condition for her cosplay is an “Equivalent Exchange”. She claims that if she imitates real people, she breaks out in a horrible allergic reaction and is limited to only playing fictional characters... Leaving aside the question that this can’t be described as Equivalent Exchange at all, this is a terrifying allergy that colors her whole body pink. You can tells it’s harsh just by looking at it.

Glasses are underwear!?: For Shirogane, a fervent defender of plainness, glasses are an indispensable prop, an item to be always worn, no different from underwear. The glasses are the trademark of the plain. By just wearing a pair, you are turned into a plain person and disappears from the plains of existence... That quicly leads to you having innumerable plain anecdotes, like passing unnoticed by the cashier, being left behind by your friends, entering the movie theater with a ticket, becoming an expert in covert investigations, etc. Leaving aside the question of how many of those are true, the point here is that appearence is important.

God has Black Hair and Red Eyes: Angie’s God prioritizes convenience above all else, changing it’s appearence according to the believer. So, if you’re wondering what would he be like for the fiction-loving Shirogane, the answer is the expected one: she sees a God loaded with fantasy tropes like “black hair and red eyes”. She, who values those characteristic hard to find in real life and makes fervorous speeches about “Red-eyed black-haired characters are all perfect”, has already completely turned to an Angie devout. I... just hope  someone who would wholeheartedly listen to all her hyperfixations descends from heaven to her soon!?

Main Quotes:

“Huhuhu... Don’t you know? Those who see my true form pay a terrible price, you see?“: The foul-mouthed Iruma told Shirogane “If you take off your glasses, you’ll fade away“. In other words, if she loses the glasses that mark her as a plain character, her character would lose it’s meaning of existance and disappear. However, Shirogane said she’s off, if she takes her glasses off, she will transform. “She was actually hot all along without her glasses!” is a plot we see a lot in shoujo manga, but in Shirogane’s case we’re very curious to see what her real face will look like!? 

“Sorry... I’m in a bit of a financial trouble. Oh, if only someone could support me, that would be so great“: Now, Shirogane ascended to the top of the cosplayer world with overwhelming fame and reach. But before, she was a measly cosplayer that lived barely scraping by and had to earn her money through part-time jobs. A simple and easy option if you wanted to earn money fast, is to work in a place that sells alcohol to rich men, smile sweetly and conquer sponsorers. It’s admirable how far her passion towards her hobbies go!

“But, as I thought... maybe you should be The White Kanata“: After teaching the Cosplaying 101, Shirogane finally starts luring Saihara into the unescapable path of cosplay (popularly known as “cosplay hell“) and starts endlessly brainstorming garments that would suit him! After considering fantasy knights, failproof school uniforms and even crossdressing, the answer she arrived at was the protagonist of an old superhero anime Saihara also knows, “The White Kanata“. It was the first character Shirogane ever cosplayed and visibly a character she has strong feelings about. Knowing about their unexpected common point, Shirogane became unstoppable, filled with the will to put her soul into Saihara’s outfit.

Final comment: She clinging on to her otaku hyperfixations, fully trusting the belief they do no harm nor good. Shirogane’s presence runs full speed on the path to plainness, but it turns out she wants to make it shine on the cosplay stage!?

[cryformeyourmajestyy]

Listen to the notes, as if you were in a musical that only you can see and hear 'cause it's hard for me to say it, so I might as well sing and if you like honesty, this is as truthfull as it gets usually I write about others, so here's a bit about me so you can understand listen to the notes, hug all these words, really closer to your chest the truth is...

I'm scared, the time got a little out of line when we met and I can't remember when, but I'm scared of the flips in my stomach and the shivers on my skin 'cause you passed by my thorns and reach the gardens of my heart in a beat and I was so good at dancing by myself but now I'm wishing Pas de Deux and I'm sure we'd be a mess, living pieces of the house on the mat happy dancing a duet. 

Yes, I'm scared cause I'm not sure people are glad that we met, I heard a lot about how I'd never reach you that far that I would be a soon lost memory in the reminiscence dark they must've know sometimes I'm too sensitive or how beautiful of a mistery you are... or maybe they thought I'm too high menace 'cause one day I'm too close and the other there's spaces cause I'm not easy to fall nor to keep and I'm scared you'd get tired so easy of me 

I'm scared, cause I swear that your voice has been my favorite tune speacilly when you're whispering my name so sweetly in my ear and I'm pretty sure my tongue rolls so nice with your name on it ‘cause just by thinking about it you can see me smiling so dear and I was so good at the distance, but I'm wishing you always so near me close enough so I can feel your breath on my lips and I was so good at the distance, but I always miss you even while you're kissing me 

and I'm scared that I won't be enough, that my flaws could drive you to the door, like so many before that it's scary, that I might not be what you want, that I'm might be far from what you need ‘cause I've never wanted someone so much for me and I'm selfish, 'cause I don't want people to know how it feels to get deazy in your wondering hands have a body covered by your DNA and I'm selfish, 'cause I want you to be happy but more than ever I want to be it I want you to wish me from sunrise to sunset and be your baby even when you're mad 

I'm so scared cause I'm infatuaded with your laugh and I'm getting used to your perfume in the morning I think baths would be so boring without your hands on my hair it's so scary, that you have me so vulnerable I get tipsy on your whiskey eyes and I've never fallen from this high oh and I'm selfish, for collecting your kisses and wishing to be your one and only I'm so selfish, for hiding from the world all your moanings, that sweet simphony and it's madness to be giving you all even if I don't have it 'cause you're worth it even if it's scary... 

I just want you here It's really scary, that you effortless have me that my fingers memorized all the curves of your body as I feel you even when you're not around me and it might be too soon, but I'm feeling like home with you

I'm scared... that it all went too fast of this deep conection and where we'll be that my heart has been close to my sleeve but I'm more scared of you're not being here 'cause the thing i'm most scared in the world it's not having you, it's that you may go it’s that I’m not the one for you 'cause I can't imagine, not having you here life wouldn't be the same without a YOU for ME ‘cause nothing would be more scary than not having you ... to have... me. (than not having you to say... someday... you know dear).

[itsdanystormborn]

Hi Dany! Please stop referring or tagging your art as `ugly drawings`! They are so nice and you`re improving very fast. Your last drawing was (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧!! Have a good day ~

Hi baal (*꧆▽꧆*)

Aww thank you so much!! i will try not to call them that, but ahh i don’t think that i’m improving very much ( drawing bodies is still a mistery to me xD) but i guess we all have somethings we are good on and others in which we aren’t that good xD, Even so, i enjoy trying!! And sometimes the result isn’t that bad, i think ^^ I’m really happy that you see some improvement, that means a lot to me!! (maybe i judge myself too hard haha) and thank you!! i’m glad you liked my last drawing ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

Thank you so much! i hope you have a nice day too♥♥♥

[sarleosly]

"What you said to people is what your soul secretly wants to hear."

Psychologically speaking, if you say something to people, it's secretly an honest reflections of what you want to hear, but you're too afraid to hear it to yourself.

(I don't know which psycholog lol, can an expert confirm or deny it?)

So, last night, I randomly decided to ask my friends what was the best advice I ever given to them.

And as the result, I was touched and emotionally unstabled big time, as I re-evaluate myself and my life.

So, here goes,

1. This was way back to my high school time

As a nerd that I was (and still am), this was when I tried to overcome my broken heart. I didn't have real friends other than my mother back in high school (typical nerd HAHA), so, guess that I made myself busy learning how to be a great debater. The result was, I fell in love with my ability of analyzed things, and learned from other perspective. That's one of the reason I found that studying law is always my true calling deep down.

Without realizing anything, what I did and what I really put all my energy into, brought someone other than myself to his life decision.

How misteriously beautiful life is, huh?

2. You will always be good enough for people who love you.

No matter how long you fell, no matter how hard you fell, no matter how damaged you are:

People who love you will always see the best in you. Period.

3. You will never be good enough to people who don't love you.

Some people love to see you miserable.

Some people love to talk shit.

Some people love to put you down.

You can't control how people will act, but you can control how you would react. And how far it will affect you.

Choose to never care. Always.

You don't need any kind of negativity in your life.

4. Zero expectation made me always happy in life's tiniest blessing.

Expectation hurts.

(unless you've promised, then it's a ticket for me to expect something.)

So you better take life easy and enjoy every little thing. Like how warm it is to have stranger looks at you in the eyes and smiled? And when the barista at your favorite coffee shop gave you extra shoot for free?

I love it. It always made my day.

5. Never delay your chance to score.

Well, maybe it's not 100% mine, but it speaks to me too.

I'm the person who believed that if you want something, you have to work your ass off to get it.

I really hate people who said:

"You're so lucky you passed university test and got in UGM."

"You're so lucky to be graduated with cumlaude."

"You're so lucky to be accepted as civil servent in your first year of graduated."

You know what, fuck you and your lucky theory. People weren't just born lucky. Even millionaire's kids will die poor if they didn't find a way to make it work.

Like Peter Dinklage say: "I hate the word lucky, it cheapens hard work."

6. And don't forget to spark your blessing to others.

Well, simply smiled to people is a sedekah too.

Our math knowledge will never be matched with God's equation.

Simply wake up with a healthy body and healthy mind might be the result of your good deeds in the past.

--

I want to thank every single of my friends who took time to listen to my bullshits that have a meaning sometimes.

I naturally always made fun of people and being cynical about any emotional connection, but it's nice to know there are you guys out there whom I connected emotionally and I know I would never ended up getting hurt.

I love you guys and thank you for making me said what my soul needed to hear out loud.

--

Written by passion on my thumb and driven by the bright side of my dark soul,

Sarah

(giving a virtual hug for everyone!)

((what my dark soul would never allowed to give))