#my birds especially loved narrating this

[angrybatgaming]

.... :D I think it's gonna be oka-

[otomehonyaku]

Diabolik Lovers Lost Eden Drama CD Translation ☽ Vol. 4 Mukami Saga ☽ Track 1・Feelings Towards Eden

Original title of this track: エデンへの想い Voiced by Sakurai Takahiro (Ruki), Suzuki Tatsuhisa (Yuma), Kishio Daisuke (Azusa), Kimura Ryōhei (Kou) English translation by @otomehonyaku Click here for the audio (as always, BIG thank you to @karleksmumskladdkaka!)

TRACK 1 ・TRACK 2 ・TRACK 3・TRACK 4・TRACK 5・AFTER STORY

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

This is the fourth volume of the Lost Eden drama CDs! I'll make separate posts for each track and update the links above as I go. I absolutely loved this first one—especially the narration by Ruki at the start of the track (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) It was a blast to translate, so I wish you happy listening and reading along!

Please do not reuse or post my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

00:00 Ruki: Banmaden—the Founders’ castle in the Demon World. A single woman was left behind there—Eve—who holds the most exceptional and highly sought-after blood in all of the Demon World. By orders of the First Bloods, she is waiting devotedly for someone to come and get her. Oh, she is forlorn. Hopelessly so. The biting cold of the stone castle will soon freeze over not only her body, but also her spirit. She waits and waits, endlessly, so long a time that it feels like forever. One day, out of the blue, the sounds of countless flapping wings reach her ears. Right away, she understands that her salvation is near. The flapping wings persuade her to follow them, and so she leaves the stone castle behind and follows the sounds deep into the Demon World forest. With nobody else to depend on, she lets the wings aid her on her quest to find her saviour.

01:31  Ruki: I had steeled myself for this, but when I took in the scenery with my own eyes, it still hit home. The ever-blooming flowers of Eden wilted, having lost their master and the nourishment he supplied them with. Eden’s rich waters were close to drying up. The water that had glistened with life before, sparkling like sand crystals when you cupped it with your hands, was dead. Filthy. I remembered once again, in vivid detail, that His powers had given life to this castle. Karl Heinz—the man I considered my father, the man I revered—is no longer in this world. And now we are losing Eden, too. 

02:25 Azusa: I feel a… tightness in my chest… Because of him, everything is changing… Yes… That day, we were called to Eden… We thought this was the place… that was considered paradise (1). It was the place where the seven-coloured birds would sing… Where the golden butterflies fluttered about… The place whose sweet, pleasant scent… calmed us… This place… will be gone soon… This place has been reduced to nothing…

03:52 Kou: I felt myself becoming hopeless. I probably wasn’t the only one. Because this place was our home. A place we could always return to. The place where He was always waiting for us. The man who showed us both kindness and a certain cold-hearted severity. Eden was a place we cherished unlike anything else. It was irreplaceable. But now, it looked nothing like we remembered it. It was said to be a sanctuary for the immortal, but…

04:40 Yuma: I used to think ‘home’ wasn’t a physical place, but I was reminded once again that it was quite nice to have a physical place to come home to. No matter where I looked, I saw nothing but death and decay. It made His death feel all the more real. For the first time, I realised that Eden was more important to me than I had ever thought.

05:16 Ruki: Eden has been reduced to rubble.

Kou: Stop it. Don’t say stuff like that.

Ruki: It’s the truth, isn’t it?

Yuma: It is, but you could’ve said it another way.

Ruki: Yeah.

Azusa: Ruki, doesn’t it make you sad?

Ruki: How so?

Kou: What do you mean, ‘how so’? This place was like home to us. A place where we made memories. How could you flat-out say it’s as good as ruined?

Azusa: Yeah.

Ruki: Let me turn that question around. Do you truly think this does not affect me in any way?

Kou: Of course not.

Ruki: Then you are correct. Of course I think it’s very unfortunate. Other than that, all I feel is resentment. How did it come to this? Eden must have a master. Why did He abandon his duty?

[Ruki punches a wall.]

Kou: Ruki…

Azusa: I’m sorry, Ruki… I never realised…

Yuma: We were a bit thoughtless…

Ruki: No, it’s alright. Either way, wallowing in sadness and anger will not improve this situation. We must do whatever we…

[A bat flies towards them.]

06:52 Kou: Huh? Is that a bat? It might be someone’s familiar.

Ruki: Be careful.  They might be the same species as we are, but do not let your guard down.

Azusa: It looks like it’s… holding a letter.

Yuma: Ah. I’ll take it, then. There we go.

[Yuma takes the letter from the familiar. The familiar takes off again.]

Yuma: Here.

Ruki: Thanks.

[Ruki takes the letter from Yuma.]

Ruki: Oh—this is…

Kou: Who’s it from?

Ruki: This is the Tsukinami family seal.

Azusa: It’s from… Carla?

Ruki: What on Earth could he want?

[Ruki opens the letter.]

Ruki: Ah…

Yuma: A letter from that Tsukinami bastard? That’s a surprise.

Kou: Yeah. It’s someone you would least expect a letter from.

Azusa: Ruki… What does it say?

Ruki: Hey, you three. You have to go to Banmaden. Now.

Yuma: What? Banmaden? The fuck’s goin’ on there?

Ruki: That woman—Eve—is waiting for us.

Kou: What’s Kitten doing in Banmaden? 

Ruki: I don’t know the details. Hurry. You have to go and get her right away.

Azusa: Yes… If she’s all by herself… she must be very lonely…

Yuma: I don’t know what the hell’s goin’ on, but… It can’t be helped. Let’s go.

Ruki: I’m counting on you. I will send out a familiar ahead of you to announce your arrival.

Kou: Alright!

Azusa: Wait here.

[The three brothers walk off.]

08:49 [Kou, Yuma and Azusa are flying to Banmaden. The translator is a little confused as to why they added airplane noises but thinks it’s funny to imagine that vampires sound like airplanes when they fly/levitate.]

Azusa: Still… It’s a little surprising, isn’t it?

Yuma: You mean that Tsukinami asshole?

Azusa: Yeah.

Kou: Why would that arrogant Carla want to leave Kitten in our care? Something must be wrong.

Yuma: Like what?

Kou: I’m not sure… I think it must have been an emergency. He probably had no other choice.

Azusa: I hope Eve… is alright, though…

Yuma: Ugh. Of course she is! Otherwise the guy wouldn’t have asked us to come get her, right?

Kou: Hmm…

Azusa: Oh—that’s Eve!

Yuma: See! I told you. Y’all are worrywarts. 

[Yuma dives towards Yui ahead of his brothers.]

Azusa: Yuma…! That’s not fair…

Kou: He’s calling us worrywarts, but he was clearly the most worried out of all of us.

Yuma: Huh? D’ya say something?

Kou: Nothing at all!

[Kou and Azusa follow Yuma.]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

楽園（らくえん）: Lit. ‘paradise,’ i.e. the Japanese word for Eden.

[fieldsofwriting]

How do you think the love interests would react to an accidental love confession from the farmer? Like during a Friday night they just BLURT it out in front of everyone?

Anon, I answered this ask in full almost. And then Tumblr crashed on my computer and I lost it ALL. I am foaming at the mouth. I can't remember all of what was written so pls enjoy these two I could actively remember but let me know if you want more!

Ryis:

The last thing that anyone at the Inn had expected was to be so involved with the D&D campaign that happened at the table by the door. Truly, it hadn't been on the docket to basically watch it unfold for the entirety of Winter but where the Farmer was involved the whole town loved to watch them.

Eiland sat as the DM, then Balor the rouge, Ryis the Druid, Brad the Bearded Bard made his return with his daughter- Brightclaw at his side. And you, the fighter. Currently the store was at the climax of it all- with the spring air just looming around the corner it was almost time to switch off on someone else's campaign. But as you and the rest of your party entered the lair of the big bad you'd been hunting the last thing you were expecting was for Ryis to fall.

The party had, for lack of a better word, gotten thier asses handed to them. Brightclaw was knocked out on the ground, Brad the Bearded Bard was trying to help her get back up. Balor was knocked down, but still valiantly trying to get back up. And Ryis. Ryis in his final act had given the last of his health to get Balor back up. He had tried not to focus on the way your eyes watered and you pleaded with him out of character to not do it. But as Balor gets up and manages to get the final blow in an Epic victory, Eiland starts to narrate again.

"Ryis, as you take your final breaths, is there anything you wish to say?" He asks giving his friend a smile.

You rapidly flip through your spells and items trying to stop this- you couldn't- even if it was fake you couldn't loose Ryis like this. As your eyes land on one of your spells you gasp, slamming your hands on the table as you stand. "I cast Summon Deity!"

Eiland blinks, looking to Ryis who gives a nod to let you do this. "Which deity do you wish to summon then?"

"The God of Death!" You say frantically. "I want to plead with him to save Ryis." Eiland gives you a nod to continue. Taking a deep breath, you nod. "Dear God of Death please spare my party member."

Eiland raises an eyebrow, "And why should I?" He asks you.

"Because! Ryis doesn't deserve his end here! He can not die here! This isn't how it was supposed to be! Ryis is kind, selfless, compassionate! He likes to have ice coffee every Saturday! He thinks that watching the birds fly and sing is cool! He likes to make birdhouses and put them all over Mistria! His fate shouldn't be dying here- even then! He gave the last of his health to help defeat evil. Is that not admirable? Is that not thing you should reward?" You plead.

Eiland smirks, knowing exactly what he was doing. "You sound as if you're in love with him."

"I am!" You rush, "I love him so much, and I can not bear to be without him. Please!" Eiland grins raising a hand.

"Your request is granted." He nods, looking over Ryis. And then it hits you. You just admitted that you were in love with him. In front of everyone. While playing D&D of all places. Ryis joins you in standing from across the table.

"As I feel my life coming back to me, I reach out my hand and take y/n's. Looking into her eyes, I say that I love you too." The Inn erupts into cheers causing you and Ryis to startle before breaking out into laughter.

"Hear that Joise! You owe me twenty Ters!"

Celine:

Friday night at the Inn were also fun. And they were especially fun when all of the younger single townsfolk gathered together to drink. It wasn't often that it happened but every now and again it was something you would all sit at the bar and do- it often left Hemlock very entertained.

But now, as you all sat and started chatting you were sharing the worse pick up lines that you had ever heard. Giggling at how awful they were with each other. "Ugh! We once had a guy where who did that dumb 'is your dad a baker? Cause you've got nice buns pun to me." Reina says with an eyeroll as she tips her head back to drink. The rest of the girls groan in unison.

"Shouldn't the line be about your mother? Considering she was the one who was pregnant?" Adeline says with a frown and crease in her brow. Celine pats her shoulder.

"Don't think about it too hard." She smiles, "And as much as that sucks. I do wish I had at least one of those stories." She sighs, "No one has said something like that to me." Celine frowns a little, her pout adorably cute.

"Wait- you've never been hit on?" You asks with a gasp. "That just seems like a crime." Your friends go a little quiet as they process what you had just said, but in your slightly tipsy state you continued to blabber on. "I mean, seriously. You're like the cutest person ever. I can give you a good pick up line-" You lean over, wrapping an arm around her chair. Not realizing the way that her face flushes as she watches you intensely. "Are you a rose? Because you're making my heart bloom."

Sighing, Orlic gets up. "Okay c'mon Y/N lets get you home." He smiles as he helps you, "Hemlock's orders."

In the morning, you wake up with a raging headache and a...banging in your head? Getting up to see the sunlight shining in you blink as you realize the banging isn't just in your head. Hopping out of bed to open the door, Celine stands there with a bright red blush looking anywhere but you. "H-hello y/n...uhm...do you remember last night?"

Opening the door more you nod, silently offering for her to come inside. "Of course I do. Why? Should I not?" You ask with a raised eyebrow as you go to make some coffee.

"W-well you hit on me." She stammers out.

"That is what people who have crushes tend to do with the person they have a crush on, do." You smirk.

She stands there before blinking rapidly. "I- you-" She lets out a sigh as she rushes over and wraps her arms around you. "I like you too." She breathes. Letting out a quiet laugh you hold her tightly. Happy that it has turned out for the best.

A/N: I can definitely do the others- but like I said Tumblr crashed and I wanna throw hands. But anyways, I hope you enjoyed!!

[strawbby-shortcake]

"What Animal Do You Think You Could Take in a Fight?" ✧˚ · . [all gn! reader]

☽｡⋆ JACK/THE NARRATOR You and Jack were sitting outside at a quiet cafe and there were little to no civilians passing by. He looked up towards the sky with his black shades and sighed. He seemed to be bored.

You snapped your fingers in front of his face and his gaze met yours. Well, you weren't actually sure if he was looking at you. You couldn't tell where his eyes were, only that he tilted his head.

"What," Jack mumbled.

Someone's cranky today. As he is, like, literally every day.

"What animal do you think you could take in a fight?" you asked.

Jack scoffed and shook his head, "Oh my god. How much time do you have?"

You shrugged and checked your imaginary watch.

"According to my calculations... all day."

He took off his sunglasses and stared at you intensely.

"Honestly speaking, maybe an armadillo."

ੈ✩‧₊˚ MARLA

You coughed as Marla blew cigarette smoke in your face. She never did stop smoking, even though every time you saw her, she promised to quit.

"I'll quit smoking forever next week, okay?" she teased, knowing full well she won't.

"Hell will freeze over before that ever happens," you laughed.

She playfully swatted your shoulder, and you threatened to take her cigarettes as payback. She quickly hid the carton to protect them from you.

"Hey, Marla, what animal do you think you could take in a fight?"

Marla glanced at you and smiled. You could see her sharp cheekbones clearly.

"You," she replied, blowing another puff of smoke at you.

Your eyes watered as you resisted the urge to cough. Fanning away the cloud with your hand, you gave her a "seriously?" look.

She simply cocked her head like a puppy and grinned.

シ TYLER DURDEN

Tyler was getting his waiter outfit on for his late night shift, and you were fixing his bowtie. He didn't know how to tie it correctly around his neck.

"What animal do you think you could take in a fight?" you asked, tightening the bow.

Tyler adjusted his sleeves and pondered for a moment. Before answering, he took a deep breath and placed both hands on your shoulders.

"That's a very good question. In fact, I'm glad that you asked. See, I think I'm strong enough to take any animal in a fight- especially gorillas. The whole point of fighting the animal is not to win, but to become the animal yourself. This is how you achieve great results, and scars. I've never fought any animals before. I think I should try it someday. Actually, this gives me an idea. We could release all the animals out of the public zoos! We could form an animal fight club. Instead of them eating stale peanuts, they'll finally taste sweet revenge against those that ridicule them. And let's not forget..."

You zoned out for a couple minutes while he was ranting. Maybe you shouldn't have asked Tyler that question right before he had to leave.

"...and what an amazing question that was! Thank you, truly. I know what my next objective is now. While I'm gone, I need you to search 'how to help animals escape from the zoo without anyone seeing.' Okay? Wonderful," he concluded.

He quickly left the house with a task assigned for you. You guess that there was no other choice than to complete it. In Tyler We Trust.

ʚɞ ROBERT "BOB" PAULSON

You and Bob were sitting on a park bench watching birds fly around, peck at the ground, and chirp. He seemed focused on them for some reason.

"Psst, Bob," you whispered, nudging his arm with your elbow.

"Hm? Yes? Oh, what do you need?" he asked, turning his attention to you.

He's got a serious case of sweaty pits.

"What animal do you think you could take in a fight?"

Bob's eyebrows furrowed as he tapped his chin like an enlightenment thinker. Talk about using brain power.

He raised one finger in the air and declared, "I choose peace."

"That wasn't the question, Bob," you chuckled.

"Doesn't matter, I choose peace. I love the animal kingdom. I would never hurt a fly nor an alligator."

He had a point; he couldn't harm a fly even if he tried. And he did try once, but poor Bob burst into tears before swatting it.

What a sweetheart.

[END]

[ewingstan]

My main thoughts on the Seek prologue is that if I’d just pulled it off a bookshelf without knowing anything about the author, I’d put it back on the shelf and look for something more interesting. That said, given what I know about this new story’s pitch, I’m gonna give it a bit more time to see if it grabs me.

The level of disconnect Orion/Pitch has from everything is largely what’s throwing me off, I think. It makes every description of a new weird thing slide off, like he’s just describing the walls of the superstructure. There’s something in the prose style that reminds me of Jeff Vandermeer, especially Strange Bird or Dead Astronauts. There’s a similar flood of descriptions for parts of a very alien setting, and a similar passiveness in the narrators’ descriptions that make it difficult to parse which parts we should care about.

That said, what was very Vandermeer-esque in a good way was the description of the FOX. Would love to see some fanart of that thing.

[queerfables]

Things my kiddo loves to do:

Run and throw himself into a beloved adult's arms

Help with cleaning, tidying and cooking

Watch when we flush the toilet

Feed the cats

Go to the park and the library

Chase birds and cats. Sadly mutter, "No, I not chase the birds/cat" when thwarted in this pursuit.

Inform me when we see an exciting vehicle

Read his favourite books five times in a row

Sing to himself while he pushes his toy cars around on the couch

Climb the slide's ladder all by himself

Knock on doors and have someone answer

Chatter about whatever is currently happening, especially if it involves narrating the activities of other kids

Ask to "Get snuggly?" and cuddle up under the blankets at bedtime

[arhapsodyofwords]

About the "two" Claudias

I was watching a yt video where the creator was asking questions about plot holes in season 2 of Interview With the Vampire. One of the "plot holes" in question being Claudia's inconsistent characterization between seasons 1 and 2 (having nothing to do with the actress change, but instead inconsistencies in the writing). The major difference being that Claudia was a ruthless and conniving vampire at the end of season 1, but cowed and vulnerable in season 2.

I don't completely agree with the premise that Claudia's characterization is inconsistent, I think a lot of the changes were natural responses to the trauma she experienced at the end of the first season, as well as the trauma she endured in Europe during the war. I don't deny that the difference can be a little jarring especially when binge-watching the show, and it got me started down the path of trying to figure out why she changed like this. (This is all just my interpretation by the way!)

Someone commented that maybe Claudia was inconsistent because memories are inconsistent, and I like this idea. I think Louis' memories of Claudia while narrating the planning and death of Lestat could have been influenced by Louis' feelings about the whole situation. Louis deeply loved Claudia, but I do think that he had some resentments towards her specifically because of Lestat's "murder," resentments that he pushed deep down. The feelings did bubble up though; like when he put his hands on her for the first and only time when she tried burning Lestat's body, or when he had Dreamstat call Claudia a mistake. Even when he yells at her about choosing the coven over him, a blow he would've felt after following Claudia to Europe and then realizing he wasn't companion enough for her ("sit in your choices, sister!" projection much?). I'm not trying to take Claudia's rapaciousness (in a good way) away from her, but it's possible that Louis described her being as predatory as he did because of this subconscious resentment.

Mostly though, I think that Claudia is depressed and lost in season 2 because she started to realize that Lestat was probably right. Claudia and Louis spent miserable years during the war not being able to find any other vampires except for Daciana, who immediately immolated herself, leaving Claudia devastated. When Lestat told Claudia and Louis about Magnus throwing himself into the fire, Claudia refused to believe him (s1, ep6). Watching Daciana do the same thing probably had Claudia remembering what Lestat said; if he wasn't lying about Magnus then maybe he wasn't lying about European vampires rejecting her.

She was happy when she found the coven in Paris, but then was immediately hurt by them too, literally the moment she joined them. Making her play a child night after night, being referred to as a bird. Possibly recalling what Lestat said about the European vampires viciousness? Lestat: "If you find them [other vampires], which you won't, they would shred you to strips, because you are built like a bird..." (s1, ep5) Santiago: "You'll be their little birdy for the next 50 years." (s2, ep3)

Lestat was correct about Europe and it's vampires and I think this shook her.

Claudia was also very hurt and angry at Louis too. Louis chose Lestat over her again, because by not burning Lestat's body, Louis left open the possibility that Lestat could take his revenge on her. She was stuck in Europe with the man who betrayed her and she had no choice but to stay with him because she still loved him, she just knew that he would never put her first. I think that Claudia also picked up on Louis' resentment towards her, at least in his extreme grief for Lestat, and this would have made her feel terrible. This is why she was so desperate to join and stay in the coven despite their abuse.

In short, Claudia's confidence was completely destroyed by Louis' betrayal, her inability to find community for a decade after leaving New Orleans, and by realizing that her evil Dad was kind of right.

(and this is why finding Madeleine was the best thing that happened to Claudia but well...)

[haunting-hufflepuffs-basement]

Oh my gosh. OH MY FUCKING GOSH YOU GUYS!

I just, for the third time, rewatched Puffs the Play. I need every single Harry Potter fan (especially those of you who are Hufflepuffs like me) to know about this amazing AMAZING show and go watch it PLEASE.

Puffs the Play is a tongue-and-cheek irreverent adaptation of Harry Potter that covers what the hell the Hufflepuffs were doing during Harry's time at Hogwarts. The main characters are:

Wayne Hopkins, a kid whose parents were murdered on the same night as Harry's and who was sent to live with his well-meaning but super weird and oblivious redneck uncle in New Mexico. He grows up as a completely normal muggle child until he gets his letter, at which point his uncle realizes "We gotta talk more" and he gets thrust into Hogwarts. Wayne believes that he's destined for something great and very much wants to be important and save the wizarding world. Unfortunately, Harry is also there.

Oliver Rivers, an American math savant who just moved to England with his family to attend Oxford's mathematics program. Oliver is very VERY salty about Hogwarts not having a math class and has a lot of struggles adjusting to the absolute insanity that is wizard school

And Megan Jones, a girl whose family is known for being "the Puff family. Like the Puffiest of the Puffs." All except her mother Xavia, who was an infamous and dangerous Death Eat---no wait, sorry, Death BUDDY, who is currently in wizard prison. Megan strives to be just like her mother.

These dorks, along with several other background Puffs from the books (Hannah Abbott, Ernie Macmillan, Justin Finch-Fletchley, etc.) navigate 7 of the craziest years at the most dangerous wizarding school guided under their amazing mentor Cedric. . .at least for a while . . . As Puffs, the most beaten up, looked down on, and "worthless" house.

Now, this play is absolutely amazing you guys. It's hilarious, for starters, and takes a lot of liberties with the books. Every single person there is a cloud-cukoolander who is full of adorkable charm and ridiculous sass towards canon. Common catchphrases include:

"HI!" with a signature adorkable little wave.

"We're WIZARDS!"

"We are not a threat! Please be our friend!"

"Oh. My. Wizard. God!"

It's a filmed play that is deliberately low-budget to help with the comedy. Salazar Slytherin, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Godric Gryffindor are all played by hand puppets. Harry is there, played by the same (female) actress as Susie Bones and is an absolutely hilarious oblivious sweetheart, but Ron and Hermoine are a pair of mops dragged around by other cast members. The cast is a total of, like, 10 people who just continually switch roles. The narrator won't stop taking pot-shots at both the canon Harry Potter story and the story of Puffs, and keeps breaking the fourth wall. Some of my other favorite quotes include but aren't limited too:

"HI CEDRIC! Love your bones" -Harry Potter

"J-Finch is imaginary!?!? J-FINCH CAN GO WHEREVER HE WANTS!"

"AVIA FORMES!" (Chucks bird at person)

"If it makes you feel any better, he's ugly, and he'll probably stay that way forever!" (Said about Neville by the way)

"Someone said the snake monster only goes after pretty girls so I shouldn't have to oh I get it they were bullying me."

"JESUS CHRIST YOU ALL ARE 13!"

"Students who are Brave! Students who are Smart! Students who talk like they're about to throw a glass of white wine in your face! And the Puffs!"

It's really funny you guys.

But it is also incredibly heartwarming and can be sad and serious at times. It's a story of unbreakabke friendship. It's a story about how to keep on going when the going gets rough. It's a story that says it doesn't matter if everyone else thinks you're a bit of an idiot or if you're socially awkward or if you fail a whole lot. As long as you keep trying and keep working hard, something good will be there for you (even if it's not the something you wanted). It's a story about embracing your true self.

It's a story that says "I'm a Puff. And I'm staying."

It has also permanently affected the way I read the Harry Potter books, as I project the Puffs personalities (and frequently looks) onto all the Hufflepuffs when they show up in the books, even if a lot of them don't really match.

Everyone, please go watch Puffs the Play, and understand why I have some strange headcanons about the background Hufflepuffs from the class of '98.

[the-bed-gremlins-reading-list]

Hi hi, just stumbled in your if, and it seems really promising. I really like isekais and intruder-narrators, so it's literally my cup of tea. The mysteries in this series will going to be thick, I feel it, especially if gods are so present in the narration. Furthermore, i want to know who our killer is in the original world. Are we going to have flahes about the MC's last life?

As of a prompt, I would like one of AubbyXRune (cause I shipped them straight away, what can I say, I love a friends to lovers).

I became truly heartbroken when I saw that they are a Romantic Option, so please, my lord/lady/Lairdship, indulge my plea T . T

I haven't read the others' asks, and I haven't found out your pronouns... So what is your pronouns, dear author?

It was Truck-san, obviously. Okay, so the first world was supposed to be where the skills were developed originally but I decided I liked the mentor set-up with the Laetoria better.

Everything about the previous world is open to your HCs. The only set thing about the murderer on that path is that the MC knew them. I don't plan on having any flashes of the MC's last life. The only exception MAY be initiating a "Return" path - I'm still debating whether I even want to do that branch since it means that you're actively initiating the events from canon, including your brother's death.

"She" and "they" work best for my pronouns! Thanks for asking. :)

Auberon and Rune ended up being pretty cute together. Surprised me a bit how soft Rune is for Auberon, but it's a bit different a dynamic than they have with MC (where they and Auberon are more equals vs MC has always been someone Rune protects).

Characters: Auberon and Rune An evening early in their time in the Sun City.

The raven is young - and impatient - it's too intelligent eye fixed on them, then turning to look pointedly at the nearby refreshment table and then back again. It's been making warbling croaking noises at the knight for the last ten minutes without success.

“I don't have anything for you,” they inform the bird.

The feather-duster’s begging only got louder. A few heads turned from the garden party to stare. Rune put their most determined stoic knight face on - they are on duty. They silently remind themself that they are guarding their lord, stoically and professionally, and definitely not being bullied by a bird.

As if standing here in armor with their post in the sun, just beyond the relief of the shade from the tents wasn't bad enough.

They aren't even the one that's been feeding the local birds! (They're just always around when the asshole is bribing his favorite informants.)

“How cruel,” Auberon teases as he escapes from a tangle of other nobles. (Matchmaking, not politics, if the tightness around his eyes is anything to go by.) He lifts an arm up for the raven to perch on instead of the ornamental tree it has been using as its pulpit.

“This is your fault.”

“Mm,” the duke hums as he feeds the creature a treat. He's still wearing his courtly persona so his laughter is kept to his eyes as he fusses after the bird.

Rune glances to the nobles watching their…friend. Friend. It's an odd title - too much the truth and yet it feels like a lie.

And these Nasenii circle him with golden nets. Marriage proposals made it break his wings. Promises sweet as poison and twice as deadly -

Auberon leaves off playing with the bird and slips in the way of his view, blocking off the party, his eyes flashing faintly gold as he sends the young bird away.

“Your eyes,” his tone is quiet but firm.

A warning, a reminder that their…condition is not well known at that it is best for them all that it stays that way. Rune knows that and yet…

Auberon’s hand at the back of their neck, their foreheads pressed close. The scent of the inks made to dry unseen beneath the citrus scent the duke preferred, and the imagined smell of wind and salt air - of home - lingering beneath it all.

“There's the color I adore,” Auberon smiled as Rune felt themself settle. Their other side quieted in the presence of the one who is so much more than their friend and lord.

Rune reluctantly drew away. Their scars felt itchy under all those gazes and they were all too aware of the sweat building up beneath their armor.

Auberon turned to cast a gaze back at the party. “My sibling made their escape some time ago - perhaps we should do the same?”

“Please,” they murmured. Only remembering once they were away: “Wait - you wanted to speak with -”

“This way I can gather more blackmail before I approach regarding road repair - I think I am close to having several names to spook the minister with.”

[cartoonsbyandie]

Any Case Closed fanfic recommendations?

If you're into Kogoro as much as I am then I really can't recommend Known Associates and Exemplary Damages enough, I don't like to read v much and I binged most of Known Associates, it was that good. Masterclass in writing interesting metatext/narration, and if you're not a Kogoro/Old funimation dub simp then I can recommend This Is Not A Ghost Story. I've only read the first chapter but it's by the same person, @halfpennyjones

Posting this because it has to do with one of those fics, I guess you'll have to read em if you wanna know context

I tend to read a lot of bite-sized one-shots, I really like a bird in the hand and Rock, Burning Up in the Air in that department, especially the former because fics from Ginzo Nakamori's POV are extremely rare, and I love what that one does with him. I gotta remember to post my podfic of it one of these days.

Aaand finally because I might as well use the chance to shamelessly plug, there's my three fics too!

[mako-neexu]

my gripe with writing edguda. is that i always mostly need a third party to edguda smart and observant (within my writing capabilities too) enough to make a commentary (aka saying my rambles through them) about the sheer amount of love dantes/monte cristo has for fujimaru ritsuka and vice versa. its so hard especially when i need to study the character too but its fine it gets me read other works because at least im not edguda-pilled ALL THE TIME.

in any case, edmond dantes, count of monte cristo, fujimaru ritsuka's first Avenger is not the type to blatantly say his love out loud. even if he did, it'll be with extremely drastic actions along with maybe a couple of novels worth of how much he loves ritsuka.

and if it was in guda's direction, its kinda hard but maybe doable considering the "accomplice" status. still, what WE the players see is different from fujimaru ritsuka's point of view and thoughts. so is the narration plus things US and ritsuka sees....

however if someone else outside of edguda's own world were to look at their relationship from a bird's eye view its really good...aka i need to create a chaldea staff OC or something as my mouthpiece to write better edguda fics

[an-theduckin]

EVERYONE GO WATCH A TALE DARK AND GRIMM ON NETFLIX RIGHT FUCKING NOW!! /NF

ITS LITERALLY SO COOL, IT ONLY HAS LIKE 10 EPISODES THO. I LOVE HOW IT HAS THE CHARM OF AN INNOCENT KIDS FILM WHILE ALSO BEING SUPER DARK. I LOVE LOVE THE NARRATOR BIRDS, AND ESPECIALLY WILLIAM. I LOVE HOW THEY ARENT JUST NARRATING FOR NO PURPOSE, AND THEY ACTUALLY HAVE A BACKSTORY AND A REASON ON WHY THEYRE NARRATING IT (I WONT SPOIL IT THO) ITS LITERALLY SO GOOD BRO LIKE PLEASE WATCH IT I WANNA TALK ABOUT IT WITH SOMEONE PLEASE PLEASE

NOT GONNA CALL OUT ANYONES NAMES CUZ THAT MIGHT MAKE U FEEL FORCED TO WATCH IT BUT. IF YOURE MY MUTUAL, PLWASE I WANNA RAMBLE IT TO U PLEASE I LOVE IT SO MUCH WATCH IT PLEASE

[cookeybg]

The Colony Possessed - Chapter 5

Title: The Colony Possessed

Main Characters: Gotham, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne

Narrators: Hal Jordan, Barry Allen, OC - Kam, John Constantine, Harley Quinn, will add others as chapters progress

Honorable Mentions: Wally West, Talia Al Ghul, Damian Al Ghul, Black Mask (Sionis)

No romantic relationships

Stuff to Know: Cryptid Batfamily, maybe a bit spooky, Hopefully a bit amusing, Gotham LOVES Batman and she always will, it's concerning

[The Colony Possessed Table of Contents]

Chapter 5 - Batsy and I are a packaged deal

Harley Quinn sat prettily on the polished wooden desk. It was large and smooth to the touch, especially after she had dumped everything on it to the ground, except for the candy dish. It had those yummy caramel hard candies that had a bit of a buttery taste to them. She loved those candies! “You’re gonna fucking pay for what you did!” Black mask yelled. Harley popped a candy in her mouth enjoying the sweet and salty taste, she dumped the whole candy dish into her purse, maybe Mister J would like some later. She looked up to see mister J laugh with all the joy he held inside and then he pressed his forehead closer to the barrel of the gun that Black Mask held. "Go ahead, kill me. See if I stay dead." Harley flinched at the crack of the gun being fired and the subsequent splintering of wood next to her. With wide eyes she watched Mister J punch the living daylights out of black mask, kicking him when he was down, over and over again. Blood stained his white face from the wound on his forehead. Head wounds were like that, bled too much, tended to take over the show. Mister J's laughter increased into a chaotic cadence until it stopped suddenly. Harley watched him tilt his head and look at a corner of the room his eyes lighting with recognition. He stopped kicking Black Mask, straightened his lapels and bowed. "Hello! Enjoying my skit?" He smiled from ear to ear and was met with silence, but he did not waver. "It's been so long! I've been trying and trying and no matter what I do or who I…play with, you refused to show!" Still bent forward, he curled his fingers in the air, pulling as if he were a mime, to Harley's shock a shadowy tendril formed and Mister J yanked, straining with the effort. The tendrils lashed at their surroundings, dimming the overhead office light, causing papers to fly in all directions. Harley felt the temperature of the room drop, whatever Mister J was doing wasn't right.

“Mister J? What’s going on?” Harley squeaked hugging her mallet to her chest. "What's wrong? Is Batsy not in town, are you bored?" Mister J completely ignored her as his hands encircled a mass of shadows, his fingers digging in. "Come on out, let's play…You and I could have so much fun!" To Harley’s horror, narrowed green eyes appeared followed by a face, hair until a whole dang person was bent upward clutching at Mister J’s hands, it’s mouth a straight line. “We can play with some birds.” Mister J’s voice lowered into that deep tone that gave Harley butterflies in her tummy. The lady’s hair lashed widely against him, causing bleeding welts on his face but Mister J strengthened his hold. “It’ll be fun. I promise. One of them loves a good ol’crowbar.” A black hand shot out and dug into Mister J’s chest. He finally let go of the lady, landing on his knees, coughing up blood, clutching at her thin arm. Harley let out a cry, rushing towards the lady, mallet held high. She was pinned painfully against the wall with a black tendril, chocking her as it kept her aloft. Mister J laughed an awful chocking sound but his eyes softened as he gazed at the lady. “You can’t kill me.” The lady’s eyes sharpened as she pushed Mister J down, causing his spine to bend unnaturally back. “I can.” The lady’s soft voice felt like needles in Harley’s head. “He wouldn’t like it.” Wheezed Mister Jay. “He would miss me. Batsy and I are a packaged deal.” With a moue, the lady pulled her arm out, long sharp fingers left a bloody stain on Mister J’s green vest. He fell to his side, blood spilling from his mouth. She flicked his blood back at him and disappeared, the room becoming brighter. Harley fell to the ground when the tendril vanished. “Mister J!” Harley rushed to Mister J, but he was already standing dusting himself off and brushing his hair back off his face. “Who was that Mister J?” His blue and green eyes landed on Harley, he scanned her face but she wasn’t sure if he was seeing her. “The biggest joke of all time, Harls.” “A joke?” He twirled in place both arms extended upward, laughter echoing in the silent room. “Batsy’s lover! A friend!” He paused, face still pointed upward. “Competition.” He looked forward, arms going limp, his smile turned into a frown. Harley took a step back, she preferred him laughing. With a sneer he kicked Black Mask one last time and stalked out of the room, Harley close on his heels. “Do you want some candy Mister J?”

Joker is always fun to write :)

[chi-the-idiot]

Hi, yes, Im on my shit again because I just finished The Adversary route (aka masochistic dom demon wants to rip me apart and maybe im in the wrong for getting hot off of it) and I have been swayed by my own mind into writing this sort of headcanon of sorts on the same vein as This other post I made, so go check that one out for full context of my insanity over this game.

(Basically this is me shipping the voices with their respective princess foils because if the gods they are variants of are in love then why wouldn't they be if they had the chance to have their own bodies? As always, characters may be out of character so be warned if that is not your style. This may also be worse than the last one, again im sorry.)

We begin with the Stubborn, waking up in the Adversary's dungeon. On the other corner of the room lies the demon in question, waking up just like he did. She seems to sense, in her confusion, his gaze examining her, and she turns her head to see him.

They look at eachother for a second... two... three... it feels like an eternity, the time they spend analizing eachother. The shade of their eyes, the shimmer of the skin or feathers under the moonlight coming through the window, the red marred scars on eachother's bodies. And from that, they understand:

Its over.

The narrator is gone, his control over their story relinquished. The voices are gone, too, and the silence is deafening.

That is until the jingling of chains breaks it, as the adversary rises from her position on the floor. Strong hooves move her towards her quiet companion, tail fluttering slightly behind her. Her expression remains emotionless, and she just so manages to get close to him against her restraints.

With a delicacy fitting for a princess, but strange for her new figure, she rises her unshackled hand towards the humanoid bird on the other side of the room. And then her face breaks into a wide, sharp grin, that which would seem intimidating to most.

But to the Stubborn? That might as well have been an invitation to share a romantic waltz. He takes her hand and shakily rises to his feet.

And dance they do. Over and over and over. Their music is the slashes of metal against skin, the grunts of pain and laughs of sadistic joy. Their "romantic mutterings to the ear" are the exclaimed insults towards one another's abilities. Their ballroom the basement to which they have confined themselves.

The Adversary refuses to escape her bindings, she finds the challenge exhilarating. The Stubborn insists that he doesn't need a weapon to fight her, but she refuses to land a single blow without it. He believes its because she thinks him weak.

(What she will never admit is that she still remembers when she beat him to a pulp and he kept rising. Again, and again, and again. How his body, his remains, were more and more twisted and deformed each time. She never wants to see that again, especially now that she cant be fully sure if he will ever wake up when he falls.)

Scars now litter their bodies, sihns that the apparent immortality that once revived them has been removed. The Adversary heals faster than the Stubborn, sure, but now each wound is permanent. To account for that, they decide on a pattern: they will fight until one of them collapses of exhaustion. They will take a break, during which they shall eat and rest. If a wound has been dealt that is too deep, they will rest until it has healed, no matter how long it takes (neither wants their onky companion to die and leave them alone once more). Once the wound has healed, the music shall start once more, and their dance continue.

(What remains unsaid, is that during the short rest, the other tends to patch down the hurt one's cuts and scratches. Were they both less guarded, they would call it "caring".)

One of those nights, as the Stubborn is wrapping up a deep gash in his leg, the Adversary calls for his attention.

"You don't need to go that far, you know?" She states, laying down on the floor, looking at the sky far beyond the bars of the window "During our fights, I mean."

The Stubborn smiles, ruggedly, almost in defiance, as if she meant it as a mere joke "What, you don't think me capable handling my own against you? Please, we've been doing this for so long, I didn't think you thought so lowly of me"

But the Adversary remains silent. She turns her gaze to him, her eyes filled with something dangerous... at least to the both of them.

A softness.

"I just... don't want to loose the only companion I've got. The only one who Gets what I am now." She sighs, softly, looking for the words, her tail moving agitatedly under her. Finally, she continues "...I don't want to lose You..."

Silence so thick you could cut it with a pair of claws extends itself throughout the dark basement.

The clicking of claws on the stone floor is the only sound that breaks it as the Stubborn kneels next to her head, and proceeds to carefuly and softly caress her scarred face. She lets him, strangely enough, and as the draw closer together, he murmurs...

"Well, then I guess it's good that we seem to have the same objective then, princess"

[wedreamedlove]

The Depth of his Feelings - Evan Character Study

I am going to open this essay with a shocking sentence: Evan is an unreliable narrator.

One of the most magnetic traits Even has as a character is his resolve about his goals, even if it conflicts with his personal desires. This trait has led some people to misunderstand him and think he doesn't love the heroine until Chapter 17 and that he was just using her this entire time. Surprise! These two facts are not mutually exclusive, you can love and use someone at the same time.

(P.S. Every time I think about Evan's romance with his heroine, I think of Margaret Atwood's poem "A truth should exist, it should not be used like this. If I love you—is that a fact or a weapon?").

So, here I am going to tell you that Evan has been falling for the heroine ever since they first met and that it's just his ability to be stunningly ruthless (to his enemies and to himself) that created the "tragedy" of Chapter 16.

First though, I will prove that Evan is an unreliable narrator.

[SSR Illusionary Light - 11 Years Ago Late Autumn TRAJECTORY]

Evan: Every time I come to see you, it always seems to be raining. Evan: I heard it was also a thunderstorm the night I was born. Evan: That Guang Qi City had never experienced such a large storm for many, many years. Evan: At the time, you were alone in the hospital. You must have been very scared. Evan: Later, I often wonder whether or not this counts as a sign from God, that in fact I shouldn't have been born. Evan: That way we would have all been a little freer, and I wouldn't owe you anything. Evan: You wouldn't have had to suffer in silence and you could have left this household unencumbered, returning to who you were before. Evan: Your life would surely have been much better than now. Evan: I saw your past photos and many of them had smiles. Evan: It's a shame I never saw you smile. Evan: I know, you actually never loved me much, most of it was out of responsibility. Evan: I could see it. Evan: But you were the person who treated me best in that household. Evan: ... Mama, even now you must still hate me, right? Evan: All these years and you've never once come into my dreams. Evan: If that day I didn't insist on playing in the back courtyard, would this incident not have happened? Evan: I knew the path was icy, that it was very slippery and unsafe. Evan: Why does fate love to play with people? A person who doesn't want to live can always avoid death, while a person who wants to live ends up dead. Evan: It would have been best for everyone if the person who had drowned was me, right? I'm really not afraid.

At 15 years old, we see that Evan has been under the impression that his mother never loved him. This belief continues to the present and you can see it whenever he talks about his past or thinks about the concept of love. However, in Chapter 14, we are given another perspective.

[CHAPTER 14-5]

Letter: "Little Lang, I'm very sorry for how many creases this letter has." Letter: "My son has been very interested in origami recently and every paper in the house has suffered his ravage." Letter: "He's especially skilled at folding animals, so I asked him to fold a robin to be sent with this letter." Letter: "He knows I like to stay in my room and set the finished paper bird on the windowsill outside before leaving. Before I knew it, he's already grown this tall." Letter: "These are all irrelevant words. Thank you for your concern in the last letter, I'm living very well and I hope that you and my son will always be healthy and safe." The date was earlier than Evan's letter just now and the letter was signed by Robin. This was a past reply! Maybe too much time had passed, because I could no longer feel the emotions attached to it. But a gentle smile still appeared before my eyes, along with a woman who couldn't help but write these words as she watched her child do handcrafts below her windowsill. Did Evan not see that there was this reply? I stopped walking.

In truth, his mother did love him... it's just that things are complicated, such as how her relationship with Evan's dad deteriorated and how she forced a young Evan to practice the cello until his fingers bled or that she cared more about helping the innocent children caught up in the Eclipse Project over protecting her own son from the Blood Clan.

So, now that we know Evan can be an unreliable narrator, it makes his perspective on things untrustworthy.

[CHAPTER 16-13]

You knew it didn't belong to you, so you couldn't lose it. Relationships in this world were supposed to be like this. It was just that, when he took great pains to create a wound to keep her or perhaps even earlier, starting the day he tested her, the relationship between them had changed. Their so-called tacit understanding, coincidences, tears, forgiveness, concern, and trust... all of these were exchanged with lies. Evan turned around and directly pressed the button for the elevator. Just earlier, he nearly lost this weapon. He knew very well that if he didn't do this then she definitely wouldn't stay. Evan couldn't help but sigh emotionally at his superb acting. In that moment of hugging, persuasion to stay, comfort, heartache, jealousy, and interrogation, his body reacted before his brain as if he had really entered that scene. He even felt a faint pain in his chest. She had clearly been deceived, but she only cried and took a light revenge on him. Why didn't she hate him? Why did she still want to help him when she was tricked? Evan thought blankly. She ought to hate him. After being hurt so many times, she ought to know how to guard against him or ask him what he wanted. However, when she opened her bright eyes and took the initiative to say honestly that there was no reason, she just wanted to help him, Evan was at a loss. He even wanted to reach out and cover her eyes with his hand. He felt panicked for no reason, like his darkness and malice had been exposed bare without anywhere to hide.

Honestly, I think this scene in and of itself shows how much he is deceiving himself about his feelings. However, he has to harden his heart so that he can carry out his plan to use the heroine as a weapon to destroy the family head.

[CHAPTER 16 - EPISODE 2 IMPRESSIONS Scales of the Heart]

【1】 There was no moon tonight. Lu Castle stood quietly in the darkness, like a proud and silent shadow. Evan rejected Zhou Yan's offer to follow and walked into the castle alone. He didn't bother to maintain his gentleness of the past and ignored the bowing servants on both sides. His only goal was that man who had disappeared behind the truth. The dusty door to the study had not been opened for a long time and fine dust floated in the air. In the dim light, Evan was momentarily seized with terror but he soon reacted and turned his wrist slightly. The heavy thud of the closed door blocked all of the prying gazes behind him. Behind the large, black walnut desk was a heavy bookshelf that spanned the entire wall and was filled with all kinds of books accumulated over the years, many of which contained the history and secrets of the Blood Clan. Evan inspected this study. Without pausing for long, he walked over and took out the first book with a blank cover. He only had a short time to find what he wanted. Because, after two weeks, he had to present the most suitable vessel. 【2】 In the cold and silent study, only the sound of pages turning could be heard. "It's not this either..." Evan set down the file in his hand again. On it was his father's handwriting, which he was all too familiar with. A long time had passed and reason told him that those people may have noticed his actions, but he still relentlessly searched for evidence—was she a "god"? Evan lowered his eyes, concealing a hint of fatigue. His confrontation with Lu Ting had turned intense and the matter he had looked forward to had a new opportunity. His brain clearly knew what he should do, but a trace of hesitation appeared in his heart. He had forgotten this sort of emotion after his first trial. He searched for that evidence almost unconsciously, but he was uncertain if he truly wanted to obtain that answer. He just kept on repeating this futile action. His longstanding goal, the end of his longing; he had searched and planned for this for a long time and he had anticipated everything he needed to abandon on this road a long time ago. However, when this moment finally came, he found himself hesitating. 【3】 In the past, Evan had imagined it countless times. What was the deepest seabed like? It was lonely and dark, without a ray of light, and there was no way to convey sound, like a prison with no structure. And what was the end of the Blood Clan like? Perhaps it was the opposite of that, a void of nothingness. This bloody and sinful race would greet an eternal sleep in the void. They would have no reincarnation, no future, they would not be recorded in history, and they would be completely forgotten at the end. Recalling the savage and imbecilic arrogance of the Blood Clan controlled by desires, Evan let out a soft sneer from his throat. He knew that there were many eyes watching him, Lu Ting, his grandfather, and the clan. They were expecting him to succeed or perhaps they were expecting him to make a mistake. But he was no longer the child he was back then, and his plan could finally be started. It was just that the girl needed to be used as the most important chip. The scales of fate treated every person who experienced time fairly; to seize something meant losing something at the same time. 【4】 "If she really is a god..." The light in the study flickered for a moment and was caught by Evan's eyes, but the depths of his eyes were still a patch of darkness. He couldn't help but consider this possibility, and many of his guesses were confirmed. Or perhaps the day he tested her with a phantasmagoria, his subconscious had already made a judgment. "What do they think I'm going to do?" That he would do his best to prove the girl did not have the power of a god and could not be used as a vessel for the family head, thus exposing that his relationship with her was close, so much so that he would disregard the highest interests of his race? It was a shame they guessed wrong. If she was a god, then his plan would only become smoother. He would teach her how to use that power—this was also what he wanted to find in the archives—make her become his sharpest blade, and then give her to the family head as a "bomb" that would detonate in desperation. However, when he made this decision, his original thought still lingered—it would be great if he really couldn't find that evidence, he could lie to himself and he could still... send her home as usual. 【5】 Finally, Evan found a secret file in a corner of the bookshelf. He flipped it open. The paper was already yellow and it revealed to him the secret that had been concealed for many years—gods were once experiments of the Blood Clan and his father wrote many coded words about the power of the gods. The scales of his heart swung violently because of this secret. On one side of the scale was his longstanding obsession, on the other side was his already wavering feelings. He knew this opportunity was the chance of a lifetime and, if he missed it, it might be difficult to wait until the next time. He couldn't allow nor accept such a failure. The folder fell on the table and papers scattered in a mess. Evan took off the glasses set on the bridge of his nose and walked to the window. There was no moon in the sky outside, only twinkling stars that watched everything under the sky. To them, the obsessions and various turns and chapters of the world were nothing but insignificant moments. At this inopportune time, he wondered what the girl was doing right now. Was she worrying about the heavy work these days, or was she celebrating her success at this stage? Evan hesitated for a moment and then was silent for a long time. Finally, the scale still crashed to one side. His pale and stern face was reflected on the dark window and he withdrew his eyes, his expression turning cold. There had always been only one path he walked: by all means, without fear of sacrifice. Therefore, at least in this moment, and maybe only in this moment, he wanted to make this sort of choice.

First, I have to gush about this passage because it is one of my favorite impressions. It almost breaks the 4th wall, because among the eyes that are watching Evan's actions are ours, the readers, and we think we know the answer because this is an otome game and he is a male lead, except Evan takes this to the brink of no return. The repercussions of his actions, depicted later in the game, only cement the weight of the decision he makes here. He is so ruthless!

However, if there are still doubts about his feelings (despite how obvious his inner conflict has been depicted) then his actions later should thoroughly convince everyone of his feelings because:

After giving the heroine to the family head as a bomb, Evan was 0.1cm away from achieving his lifelong goal, except he turns back to save the heroine, thus exposing himself to all his enemies;

Evan, who could have killed the family head and Lu Ting, missed his opportunity because Lu Ting distracted him with the heroine's safety and now Lu Ting is stronger than ever after consuming the family head's soul; and

Warson is experiencing a financial crisis, thanks to Lu Ting manipulating the stocks, but Evan takes the risk in allowing the heroine to keep her fashion project under the brand Pristine instead of moving it to a more reliable brand for profit, an action that goes against what the chairman of Warson should do to maximize profits.

Now, look me in the eye and tell me that Evan is not horribly in love with the heroine, because he is making things endlessly hard on himself by making all these mistakes and concessions for her. This man is absolutely wrecked by love.

Shifting gears, but it's intriguing that Evan and the heroine share a commonality in how they were very close to their maternal grandmothers, one of the few people that showed them unconditional love. In Chapter 16, Zhou Yan comments on how the heroine reminds him of a younger Evan, because they both have a gentle exterior but they are opinionated and, once they set their eyes on a goal, they will achieve it no matter what. Evan believes they are similar because they both became tools.

However, my opinion is that both Evan and the heroine are too soft for their own good. Evan chides the heroine many times in his mind about how she's better off without him, but honestly the same can be said for him because he never considers his own safety when it comes to her either.

[CHAPTER 17-5]

Matters had come to this point, but why did she still not hate him? She should hate him after being tormented like this. Evan: Have you never thought about yourself? Evan: You should wish for something to happen to me, not worry about my safety. Evan: You're not eating properly or sleeping properly. You're disobedient, and you never learn.

[SSR Enticing Feast DATE]

Everything had been arranged to let her see his true self. That vile, contemptible, hypocritical, and brutal self. It was best for her to hate him. The farther away she was, the safer. So, when he saw her rejecting him with natural fear and dread on her face, he only felt happy.

But Evan and the heroine are helplessly drawn to each other and I once wrote an essay about how their relationship can be summarized "Like Moths to Flames". I'm actually going to revisit this topic again because the Light and Night writers have added a lot more onto this imagery.

In my opinion, while it isn't a golden rule in stories with traditional gothic vampires, a lot of creators like to explore the aspect of how these creatures—so closely linked to death but are immortal—long for some kind of oblivion. The ultimate romance for them is something that ends in their own ruin and death.

Now, look at these exhibits below, and see how Evan's feelings for the heroine also flirts with death.

[Serene Forest Night EVENT]

Did four-legged animals use less energy when they walked? My thoughts flew to the skies and I pestered Evan, asking him, if you can turn into an animal, what will you choose? Evan looked around and a moth happened to pass in front of us. He pointed at it casually and said, I'll be a moth then. Honestly, he must be joking.

[SSR Illusionary Light - 14 Years Ago Summer TRAJECTORY]

The second thing I lost was a mechanical pocket watch. I couldn't sleep the night after I threw it into the fireplace. The wind whistled outside and I felt my temples throb again and again, much like the tempo of that watch. That night I felt that I was about to become a pocket watch, a heinous one that would lead people astray and had to suffer abuse. I wanted to be it, I wanted to be it so badly. From the moment it broke free from my hand and threw itself eagerly into the face of the raging flames, I saw a kind of inspiration that put me to shame.

[CHAPTER 16-13]

Suddenly, a small figure appeared in front of my eyes. It was a skinny boy and he knelt in front of a fireplace that burned vividly like a fiery sunset. A few wooden blocks hit him all of a sudden and the boy picked them up without a word, throwing them into the fire silently. The flames leapt, just like the light in a pupil. The scene ended. I couldn't see the boy's face, but somehow I felt that it was familiar.

[CHAPTER 16-15]

These days I couldn't help but think of the scene I saw when I touched it that day. That must have been Evan's past. I didn't know why he threw those wooden blocks into the fireplace. Later, I tried to touch it again but I still couldn't see the cause, I could only see his hands gripping the hem of his clothes tightly. I even had the misconception that he wanted to throw himself into those raging flames.

[CHAPTER 16-15]

He suddenly thought sorrowfully that, if she were to open her eyes in this moment, would she find that he was this unfamiliar to begin with? The person that you admired, that you cared about, that you forgave, was actually not him. Meanwhile, because he acted as that person, he lost himself in the act. He was too close. The girl's breath hit his face and it was very hot. It made him recall the firelight of the fireplace which had also once thrown itself onto his face like this many years ago. Time stood still in this inopportune moment and he was startled by the sudden surge of desire in his body. Evan straightened up and made himself cool down quickly. Desire turned to disappointment and stuffed his chest full. Don't get any closer, he told himself. Don't get any closer.

[CHAPTER 17-5]

Evan closed his eyes. He had carried out countless plans but this was the only time where he didn't know whether it was a success or a failure. Originally, he had only wanted to hide her that day and confess everything to her after the crisis was dealt with. It didn't matter even if she hated him, as long as she didn't leave again. He would rather be entangled to the bitter end than be strangers who owed nothing to each other. This wasn't right, but he wanted to do this and so he did. He had never been as loyal to his heart as he was then, truly and genuinely fighting for something for once. However, matters developed to this point and escaped his control a long time ago. In that case, she should just... hate him to the end then. It was better than being strangers.

In conclusion, I honestly think it's impossible to say that Evan was simply using the heroine until he caught feelings for her Chapter 16 and onwards. He's been attracted to someone who can so easily be his ruin since the very beginning and every step he's taken since has been him struggling with his goal and personal desires.

(P.S. Did you catch how I named this essay the depth of his feelings because of the homonym between "depth" and "death"? Haha, I'm sorry for the terrible joke.)

Lastly, I will end this essay with this scene about how hard Evan wishes to tie himself to the heroine, even after death.

[SR Butterfly Kiss On Top]

[MC]: Evan, if there was a day I left this world, will I also become a butterfly? Evan was slightly startled and the fingers that held my palm gradually closed in. Evan: What kind of butterfly do you wish to become? [MC]: Hmm... I've thought about it and, never mind, I don't really want to be a butterfly. I pulled Evan to jog a few steps forward and the light that spilled through the tree branches fluctuated. [MC]: I'll become sunlight! Then I can shine on the person I want to shine on. [MC]: When I land on him, he'll be able to feel my remaining warmth. I swung Evan's hand and sheepishly stuck out my tongue. [MC]: Does it sound a little weird? But Evan lowered his eyes, which contained a smile. Evan: Not at all. [MC]: What about you then? What do you want to become? He thought for a while, looking over my shoulder at the ray of light on the low wall. Evan: Dust, I suppose. [MC]: Oh? Why do you want to become dust? I stopped involuntarily and Evan raised his hand, combing my hair that had been tangled by the breeze. Evan: Dust is often difficult for people to detect, only when it's in the sunlight can you see its floating motes. Evan: I don't care whether or not I can be seen by others— Evan: Because it's only when you perceive me that my existence has meaning.

[clare-with-no-i]

Hello I totally agree with your explanation of “Deddies” and I love it so much. Can I SOLICIT a director’s cut for back to the old house? (If you feel like it!)

kelsey omg! pls you know I am always one to chitchat about my fics (I am narcissistic). thank you for asking! the entire time I was writing I kept thinking CHANNEL KELSEY CHANNEL KELSEY CHANNEL KELSEY so I hope this connects with you! I knew from the get-go that I wanted to write you something Order-era, because I know you enjoy those stories :) I also knew it was going to be a little angsty, a little contentious between James and Lily. there had to be some distance between them to create conflict. and you said you liked canon divergent! so!

The new recruits don’t know that the potions closet has a spring-loaded trap fashioned onto the doorknob.

the first sentence is actually one of the most important of the whole fic. I wanted to try and set up a few things right off the bat: first, that there's a new group of people entering the scene who are important to the story. second, that the narrator (shortly, you'll find out, it's James) is in a position of authority over them, and is intimately familiar with the setting. third, there's going to be some interaction between wizarding concepts (the potions closet) and muggle technology (spring-loaded trap on the doorknob).

essentially, this one sentence captures the essence of the entire plot: a new recruit (lily) not knowing that muggle tech is going to be key to an Order operation which James is running. I rewrote this sentence a few times, and once I landed on it, I ended up writing a lot of the story around it.

When he was little, before he mastered any sort of magic, he used to bandage the broken wings of birds he’d find in the back garden, gauze nicked from the muggle-junk cabinets his mum kept, fumbling fingers dumping alcohol wherever he saw blood. One of the housekeepers told him that he might just be prolonging their suffering instead of helping them like he thought. He was too young to understand what she meant, or maybe too headstrong to care about anything past what he thought was right. He would always release them, but now that he thinks about it: did any of them ever fly?

another passage I found really important. James has a bloated sense of responsibility in this story, which is something I usually write him with across all of my stories, especially in canon. we see him agonizing over whether he's coddling these new recruits too much, almost to the point of being neurotic about it. he's an unreliable narrator, as we'll learn: he wants to blame himself for things, or try and fix things over which he has no purview. here, he's getting upset with himself for trying to help animals as a child. like, hello? lmao

The eyes he meets when he looks in front of him are Lily Evans Green — she has a patented shade, or at least, he’s always thought of them that way, somewhere between hunter and sea — and narrow. The last time he saw her was at Leaver’s Ball. She’d been a wisp, a moment, an apparition between bodies in ornate robes and gowns. He doesn’t jolt, but he knows from a sudden crick in his neck that he doesn’t stay still, either.

the "he doesn't jolt" sentence is another favorite primarily because we're pretty sure he did actually jolt. you don't just end up with a crick in your neck from barely moving. but it's so fun to see him downplay his reaction to seeing Lily (at least it was for me), and that was part of the reason why I tried to indicate across the story that she sort of knew that he had feelings for her, at least at some point in their lives. he's way more transparent than he admits.

She mumbles a quiet thank you in cadence with the rest of the lot, as though they’re really strangers, as though he’s just a tour guide and she’s not at all surprised to see him, as though she doesn’t care at all that he’s in front of her, except the tips of her shoes point at him for a few delayed seconds, long after the others have walked away. One of her socked ankles fidgets.

I pulled from one of my favorite new girl episodes for this haha. the 'a man's feet point toward what he wants' thing with nick and jess is so cartoonishly stupid but just the right amount of delusional that it felt really authentic to have him fixate on it. especially now that she's given him this bodily reaction of fucking his head, where before he was speaking above his audience. it also gives us a little distance from lily, again: we don't know if she's looking at him or not, or what her expression might be.

A glass bottle full of brown hydrangeas wobbles. The label’s been ripped off, but it was Firewhisky before it housed dead things, and its wide, stained edges keep it from tipping over.

another important sentence here is the firewhisky bottle line, which I've talked about a bit before. the central motif of the story is vessels: houses, primarily, as this all takes place in this house-turned-headquarters, but also bottles — for potions, for alcohol — and to me, in this moment, the firewhisky bottle was just a gigantic metaphor for the entire Order of the Phoenix. all of the Order members had identities before they became soldiers cloistered in this house, and it's those little indicia of their past selves ("wide, stained edges" from holding firewhisky) that keep them from collapsing entirely. James's resilience and humanity; Sirius's humor and fighting spirit; Lily's cleverness and kindness. I promise I actually thought about that as I wrote it and am not just now doing a close reading hahaha

“Hang on.” Inexplicably, James holds his hand up to stop him. The scrolls crinkle as Jeremy clutches them back against his chest as though looking for a threat James has identified. Instead, James elaborates, haltingly, “You’re—uh. You’re going to take up the whole dining table with that.”

it was important to me that this moment was ambiguous in meaning: whether James was trying to keep the plans a secret or whether this was just him reverting to a schoolboy crush by forcing Jeremy to keep the maps in his hands so that Lily has a place to sit with her tea. could be either or both :)

He gets up, suddenly and almost entirely against his will, thinking of the way her lips flattened and unfurled as she whispered, magnets, magnets.

he just wants to be around her! this is the thoughtless beauty of liking someone — you just want to be around them all the time, right? you want to stick to them like, pardon the obvious reference, a magnet.

“You can’t tell me that we weren’t…I thought we were starting to get close in sixth year, is all.” To say that he has a physical reaction to this wouldn’t be inaccurate, but just as well, he’s the longest-serving member of the Order currently living in this house, and he has spent years learning the art of avoiding disarmament.

this is a turning point for a number of reasons: we finally get an insight into how Lily feels, and we James refuse to process it and instead just make immediate reference to his work in the Order, something about which he is confident and assured. I had to find a good enough reason for them not to be together or even really be on speaking terms, and the only catalyst I could think of was to have this big, destabilizing event (James's parents' deaths) really personalize the war for him earlier than it might have done in canon. of course, we know that he would have joined either way just because it was the right thing to do — and so does Lily — but I tried to give the impression that he's not sure, and it's a point of insecurity for him. it was also important that I get across the "oh my god he was just a kid!!!" perspective here from Lily as a proxy for the reader. because now that I've altered the timeline of canon, we presumably won't have that happening with Harry; it's all been transferred to James.

There is an acute sensation which James has experienced only in this room, in the last six months, of realizing that being beholden to a movement and a person are two very different things.

the moment with Dumbledore in his office is where we get a little bit more information about what's going on, albeit in these distorted/fractured formats. Remus is doing work that requires him to be away from his friends; it's at Dumbledore's behest; the mission that we later learn involves Sirius, Marlene, Fabian, and Gideon living undercover in Malfoy Manor has been going on for roughly six months.

“I just think I’m better suited in the field,” one person says. “I can’t be stuck here mixing herbs all day.” “I know. You’d think they’d ask us instead of us having to ask them. I mean, were we recruited to pass out flyers?” “Or fold the clothes they left in the closets.” “Bloody hell.”

another little easter egg here, which connects to something in the first scene! we know that there are four empty rooms in the house. we now know that there are clothes left in the closets in them. we don't know where Sirius is, or why James has this undercurrent of panic beneath his internal narration, but at this point hopefully the pieces started to come together.

When he leaves the lab, he shakes out his overwarm hands, watching the crescent imprint of a fingernail disappear from his palm.

this was my 2005 pride and prejudice hand-flexing-scene moment, in all candor

“You don’t want to be healing me,” he posits, slurring his words a little. “I don’t want you to be hurt,” she replies in her top pupil voice.

I felt pretty comfortable giving Lily the more blunt-force romantic lines here because of the setting and because of how completely frazzled I make James in her presence. we see her have her moment of reckoning earlier, when she's out smoking, basically putting it all together that he didn't just stop liking her in sixth year — he had this massive traumatic event that he didn't even think he could tell anyone, and he had Dumbledore pulling strings in the background to get him to fight for the Order. so, coupled with how blatantly clumsy he acts around her (despite him thinking otherwise) and how often he seeks her out, it would be pretty easy to surmise that he still has residual feelings for her. but, again, we're not getting the full story from him, and she doesn't know what's going on with the mission, so I hoped to create this sense that she couldn't really discuss their relationship until all of his cards were on the table.

Her eyes stay closed for a good few seconds. He can’t tell if he’s fantasizing or reading her expression correctly when he thinks that she’s sitting in the moment, luxuriating in it. He feels at once completely in himself: in this twenty-year-old version, learning what it’s like to have something and let it have you in return. The leaves of a nearby tree cut through the sunlight and splotch their bodies with shade. The wards are down, for just a little while.

after they finally kiss (!), it was important to me that we see him actually start to believe that they're as close as he wishes they would be. he's starting to trust in the face-value reality in front of him: that she's just sitting in this moment, entirely comfortable with where they are, and with him. hopefully the buildup here has been sufficient, but I thought it was a poetic sort of resolve here, that he's been able to fulfill this wish that he's had since he was sixteen, this age where he became stunted in his emotional growth because he was adopted into this grassroots war effort.

earlier in the story I refer to him as a "time-turner body," because he has this incredibly curious, contradictory relationship between certain parts of his identity. he's grown up faster than his peers in that he's become a senior member of the Order after fighting for four years. he became an orphan at sixteen but was taken under Dumbledore's wing. he has this unrealized teenage crush which he has been forced to confront after she becomes a soldier. he's been run ragged by worry and by fear as his friends take on these roles that he can't help with. so here, finally, he's at peace with his twenty-year-old self: his friends are all in one place, he's gotten to fulfill this one-who-got-away romance from his teenage years after getting to know her as an adult.

finally: the wards were my other big motif, essentially just giving visual representation for how trapped James feels by his environment. we know that someone had to "let Lupin in" from the previous scene, AKA take down the anti-apparition wards, and now they're down until the mission is over. finally, he sees into the outside world, a world not limited to this house and this war.

woohoo! thank you to any and all who read this absolute phd thesis. my god. kelsey as per usual you are too kind to ask me for these things and I appreciate you!! and another HUGE shoutout to Hafsa for organizing this wonderful wonderful event!