#my beautiful mile who opened her home to me once again so we could be together

[zouisexo]

.

[bookwyrmbutch]

First Time on The Land

It is an eight hour drive to the Land, and I’m anxious the entire way. I’ve never liked meeting new people, and I’m terrified that my wife and I had wasted a ton of money on what would inevitably be a miserable experience.

But when we arrive at the gate, my anxiety is thwarted by a parade of helpful womyn who guide us through the check-in process. I drive through the Land at 5 miles per hour, and wherever we look, there are womyn. They're busy unpacking or talking to one another, but when a car comes by they all wave and smile, shouting "welcome home!" The Land itself is beautiful, a pristine forest with a blanket of ferns covering the ground. Everything is green except the asphalt walking path that shimmers with leftover rain. As we get further in, tents pop up everywhere, nestled side by side. Plastic flowers are staked into the ground, and clotheslines strung between the trees bear Pride flags and handmade tapestries that flutter in the breeze. All of this is woven so seamlessly into the natural forest that I can’t quite believe it’s temporary.

There is an opening ceremony before the first concert. A womyn stands onstage and sings, and hundreds of womyn join her. “I am open, and I am willing, for to be hopeless would seem so strange. It dishonors those who go before us, so lift me up to the winds of change.” I am already crying and I know if I lift my voice with them that I will sob, so I keep my head down.. I’m not ready to be open.

The next day we wake up to a choir of women singing in the morning chant circle, and BMG starts in earnest. Womyn of all backgrounds volunteer to share their knowledge in participant-led workshops on writing, poetry, drumming, quilting, whaling, massage, salsa dancing, indigo dyeing, lesbian history, Nordic runes, plant identification, body painting, detransition, butch identity, and more. There is an archery range, a movie tent, and a large vendor space where womyn sell their wares. Shuttles driven by volunteers trundle up and down the dirt path, ferrying womyn across the land. The days pass in a flurry of activity, both of us exhausted but unwilling to rest. We try to do everything, much to the amusement of the older lesbians watching. They know what we don’t, which is that being here is enough of an event by itself, and the conversations we’ll have before and after these workshops are as valuable as the workshops themselves.

I’m continuously stunned by the generosity on display. One womyn cooks breakfast for two hundred, and another makes lunch the next day. We overhear a womyn give a stranger her spare air mattress. My wife tells me she has a headache and a passerby gives her an electrolyte packet and an apple. A woman offers me a comically huge blunt during a night concert, and another shows me where she stores her food when I compliment her ciabatta.  Everywhere we go, womyn stop to talk. In workshops, I stand up (tits out!) and speak my mind, and womyn listen. I smile at everyone and say “good morning” to whoever I pass. And at some point I notice... I’m not anxious. I’m talking to strangers all day and it feels wonderful.

At the closing ceremony a womyn sings to us again, and everyone joins her. “I am open, and I am willing…” This time, I’m able to join in on the second chorus.

Sunday is bittersweet. My wife and I wake up early and cry into our oatmeal. We decide to take a walk before going back to our tent, unable to face packing up. I could sense the fear - absent for five glorious days - waiting for me outside the gates. Once we’re all cried out, practicality takes over and we pack our things, load the car, and head out. 

Two womyn stop us at the gate. 

“Are y’all coming back next year?” one asks. We say yes.

“Good, because I know your faces now!"

The other pipes up, “Faces? I’m going by breasts!”

The knot in my chest loosens as I laugh, and we drive home.

We have our wristbands, our sunburns, and a new labrys necklace. We carry a warmth, a brightness, in our chests. But a few days in, the feeling disappears and I can feel my walls going up again. That unconscious tension in my gut. A week after re-entry, my bruise from archery fades, and with it the feeling of being on the Land that I could once call up so easily just by taking an extra-hot shower, or a long walk outside. Now as I write this, I can hardly remember the person I was this summer. She’s waiting inside me to make her appearance again. 

There are times I feel her stirring: when I connect with other womyn like me. When I feel grounded and at peace with myself. And sometimes I can feel her revolting when I try to duck back under the yoke of other people’s expectations. I’ve seen what life can be like without that now, and I can never really go back. It feels like there will always be a part of me waiting under the trees.

Thank you @nansheonearth for challenging me to write about my experience on the Land, and for helping me find it in the first place.

[filmofhybe]

A Magical Christmas with enhypen

🗯️ pairing : ot7 x oc 🎀 GENRE : fluff , 8th member of enha. 1093 wc (approximately)

; AUTHORS NOTES : welcome to day 6? of “24 days of Christmas with filmofhybe!!” Hope you guys enjoy this one!! And happy birthday to Niki & sunghoon!!🤭 (even tho it was yesterday)

MASTERLIST to my other works

정원 jungwon

He knows you have major, and I mean MAJOR SEASON DEPRESSION. All the members could just tell it has hit you when you start spacing out during the comeback recordings, not even trying in practices, rarely posting on weverse and giving fans less attention during offline fan sign. (you weren’t trying to be rude, again is just SEASON DEPRESSION and is draining you.) Is like you want to do good during winter comebacks but can’t because you HATED winter and as I said - season mf depression.

Jungwon being jungwon - whose a really good leader. Decided to take you out during Christmas just try to help you feel a bit better. Takes you to eat Korean BBQ in your cozy pajamas, buys you hot chocolate while you guys enjoy the beautiful Christmas lights all around seoul. He helps you take photos despite you being in your pajamas. Saying it would be nice to update your fans once a while to know you’re not “dead”. You captioned “thank you to our lovely jungwon for the pictures!!”, fans thanking him for taking you out during Christmas to feel the festive season and grateful that he cares about you, as well as understanding your seasonal depression.

“thank you for making my Christmas a bit better wonnie.”

“is okay! I’m glad your happy, not letting that silly season depression get to you!”

“Is still here but you made it better.”

“I’m flattered. This could be our little tradition.”

“Maybe if I’m in the mood to come out again next year!”

��종성 Park Jeongseong

Remember how he said he took Niki back to his place during their break. Yeah that would 101% be him. He knows how it feels to not being able to celebrate such a special occasion with your family, so he doesn’t hesitate to ask his parents to let you stay over. They all loved you anyways. His house was filled with really Christmas vibe decorations and a large Christmas tree in the middle of the living room and you’re groups signed album on the shelves which reminds you of your home :(

He cooks with dad during Christmas Day and it’s so good. You kept going back to his steak because who wouldn’t. They will include you in their Christmas karaoke later on as well as make you and jay perform your songs, which they will film it and send it back to your parents.

Not to mention, they brought you gifts and when you open each one of them, it made you really emotional because it felt like you were part of their family. Your parents were so grateful that they are taking good care of you, even miles away where you can’t celebrate Christmas together.

“Thank you so much for these gifts, I’m so thankful for all of you…”

“There’s no need y/n you would always be a family member to me!”

“Jay you’re gonna make her cry even more..”

“Good so I can post this on weverse..”

“WHAT NO?! IDOL PROTECTION HELLO??”

희 승 heeseung

Would stay in the dorm with you and you guys will just play games the whole time while streaming it. Either valorant to roblox, or even just chilling while listening to music. Constantly going into each others room to say hi to each others chat. And reading out funny donations.

“When’s the groups next comeback?”

“Guys we just had one?!”

“Did we-?”

“If you mean the one where you only sang for 6 seconds than yes..”

“SHUT UP HEESEUNG.”

Munching on shin ramyun and you both did a room tour of your rooms, showing how festive it is. Telling the chat what gifts you guys got each other and told them this is how you would be spending your Christmas with them. They honestly love you for that. Will go viral on Twitter for being the “best gaming duo.”

“What about your families?”

“Oh me and heeseung’s family hang out yesterday so we are just vibing today. The others are out.”

“We wanted to talk to engenes and play games so please enjoy!!”

심재윤 Sim Jaeyun

You both decided to film a cover for the fans during Christmas, so the whole day you guys were just in the HYBE building, vibing to Christmas music with the staff and filming. You will update your personal insta account of you and Jake that day. Showing the cute Christmas doughnut he got you along with a gift, and both of your microphones. Teasing the fans with the upcoming cover.

It maybe a simple Christmas but it would always be fun with Jake because he also brought in Layla. She will constantly come up to you, begging for body scratch or even treats. Even posting a selfie of you and her on twitter.

“YAH Y/N YOU’RE STEALING MY DOG?”

“UH NO IM NOT? SHE JUST RAN TOWARDS ME FOR TREATS?”

“Istg that dog likes you more than me…”

“Maybe if you start feeding her than she will..”

“I DONT STARVE HER STOP BEING A HATER YOU BOTH😔😔”

okay but MOVING ON. When the cover dropped, IT WENT VIRAL VIRAL. The Christmas lighting, the eye contact between you both was IMMACULATE. Fans felt the warmth after listening to it, like drinking a hot chocolate on a cold winter day. They kept asking for more covers between you both, maybe you guys would do one on New Years🫣

성훈 Sunghoon

Mr takes you to ice skating on Christmas. Both of you are known to be the ice skaters of enhypen. Both extremely good at it so it wouldn’t be a problem. Kept trying to show off your moves to each other. Everyone on the rink jealous that you both could do these amazing tricks. Even though you guys kept going head to head in the rink, obviously he got to take pictures of you so you can post on Instagram.

Man you almost couldn’t land on one of the turns and he zoomed right beside you to catch you. You kinda blushed🤭 anyways. The pictures you guys posted was so cute and majestic, fans was so happy that you guys are hanging out together during Christmas.

“omg the ice prince and princess together on Christmas!!”

“We love to see them back on the ice once again :( “

“We need a performance from them.”

선우 Sunoo

The type to just drag you to every single café and enjoy each others presence while filming for en-log. It was just a soft cute Christmas and you both also exchanged presents. Linking arms as you both went to different phootbooths and thrift stores taking those 90s pictures.

“y/n~~ you look so silly In that hat HAHA!!”

“what do you mean sunoo? I look sexy😝”

“Whatever you say😐”

He loves including you in this sunset photos so when he added you to his little dump, everyone freaked out because that means you guys were hanging out together during Christmas. Very grateful to have each other during this cold season. Just wrapped around warm coats and each others presence.

“BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DUO FOR SO LONG🥹”

“WAR IS OVERRR!! WE GOT OUR AGEYO DUO🤭”

“THEY CHOSE EACH OTHER FOR CHRISTMAS!!”

にしむら りき Nishimura Riki

Since both of you can’t go back to visit your family, you both decided to just go to a shopping trip. Kept buying stuff like non stop. At the end of the day you both have at least 15 bags on you.

“So do you think our manager will say anything about this addiction?"

“y/n I think he has gotten use to it by now..”

“You’re right..”

You both got caught by a fan and they said you both was struggling to hold your bags but you guys looked so cute struggling😭 They even saw you vibing to Christmas songs and you buying Niki hot chocolate because he wanted it so bad #stillachild . Fans was so surprised by this duo because they actually never saw it coming.

“Idk whose influencing who😭”

“Is giving older sister bringing her younger brother on a shopping treat”

“Sometimes I forgot they are both making BANK”

“Y/n struggling while Niki sipping on his chocolate is too unserious💀💀”

No because tell me why your stuff can’t even fit in the car.. you both were suffocated at the back of the car. Your manager laughing at you both and begging him to spare some mercy on you😭 you guys are just too funny.

“Next year same time same amount of stuff?”

“NIKI I DONT THINK I CAN SPEND MORE…”

“WE ARE MAKING MONEY!?”

“True…”

[cherrythepuppet]

Corpse puppet [Part 11]

ehshshrbauska can't believe I've made it this far ha ha, Forgot to mentions (like 10 chapters ago-) but the Pronouns I use for (Y/n) are She/They, another [A/n]! All questions about Cherry I will answear at the end :) so don't worry dear @sketchquill

After cherry had finished throwing books at (Y/n) (after frank left so he wouldn't yell at her) she then disappeared from the tower, Cherry looked around town for Wally and found him sitting on a stool to a piano

"Maybe they're right...Maybe we are too different" He mumbled "Maybe they should have their head examined" Cherry said "l could do it!" Home exclaimed 

"Or perhaps They do belong with him....Little Mr Living With his rosy cheeks and beating heart" Wally grumbled "Oh, those guys are ten a penny! You've got so much more!" Cherry exclaimed 

"You've got- You've got-...." home trailed off "You've got a wonderful personality" Cherry told him

"What does that wispy little brat have That you don't have double?" Home asked "he can't hold a candle To the beauty of your smile" Cherry said

"How about a pulse?" Wally asked as he turned away from the two "Overrated by a mile" home muttered "Overvalued, Overblown!" He added

"If They only knew The you that we know" Cherry said "And that silly little creature isn't wearing Their ring" Cherry grinned "And I bet he doesn't play piano Or dance, or sing" home said 

"No, he doesn't compare!" Cherry exclaimed "But he still breathes air" Wally said "Well Who cares?" Home asked

"Unimportant, Overrated, Overblown" He said "If only They could see How special you can be! If they only knew The you that we know!" Both Cherry and home exclaimed 

"If I touch a burning candle...I can feel no pain If you cut me with a knife It's still the same And I know his heart is beating And I know that I am dead Yet the pain here that I feel Try and tell me it's not real And it seems that I still have A tears to shed" Wally mumbled 

"The sole redeeming feature From that little creature Is that he's alive" home said "Overrated, Overblown" he added

"Everybody knows That's just a temporary state Which is cured very quickly When we meet our fate" Cherry told them "Who cares?" Wally asked

"If only They could see How special you can be! If They only knew The you that we know" Both home and Cherry exclaimed 

"In the ice or in the sun It's all the same Yet I feel my heart is aching Though it doesn't beat, it's breaking And the pain here that I feel Try and tell me it's not real I know that I am dead Yet it seems that I still have Some tears to shed" Wally mumbled as he started crying again 

"Want me to go throw more books at (Y/n)?" Cherry asked and Home gave her a 'Really?' Look 

~

"lt's true, Mother! (Y/n) is married to a dead man! l saw him! A corpse! Standing right here with (Y/n)!" Howdy yelled

"(Y/n) was in your room?" Lord piller asked "l have to help her" Howdy said "Come sit in your chair, dearie...You're shaking like a leaf" The maid said as she grabbed a blanket 

"he's completely mad!" Lady piller mumbled "We dont have time for this" She mumbled "Just...go to bed" She told him "But mother-" Howdy was cut off "ENOUGH!" Lady piller yelled as she, lord piller and the maid all left

As soon as they left Howdy grabbed some blankets and sewn them together to make sure they were sturdy, once that was done he had grabbed a coat and threw the blankets off the balcony 

He climbed down but as he was climbing the blanket ripped and he fell to the ground, He quickly got up and ran to the church

"What in heaven's name? Who could that be at this hour?" Pastor Kermit asked as he opened the church doors and saw Howdy "Mr Piller! What are you doing here? You should be at home prostrate with grief" the pastor said

"Pastor Kermit!, l have to ask you something" Howdy told him "This is most irregular" Pastor Kermit mumbled  "Please, l beg of you! You are the only one in the village who knows of what awaits beyond the grave!" Howdy said

"A grim topic for a Groom-to-be" Pastor Kermit muttered as he stared at howdy "lt is a groom l fear! which is why l must know...Can the living marry the dead?" Howdy asked "What on earth are you speaking about?!" Pastor Kermit asked as he looked at Howdy as if he was crazy

"Please, it's (Y/n)! They're married to a corpse! They has a corpse Groom! There must be some way to undo what's been done!" Howdy told him

Pastor Kermit was silent for a moment "l believe l know the thing to do...Come with me" He said

Pastor Kermit brought Howdy back to his house and when he knocked on the door howdy's parents opened it

"Pastor Kermit? Howdy?" Lady piller asked "he's speaking in tongues! Of unholy alliances His mind has come undone, l fear!" Pastor Kermit told them "lt's not true! Let me go! Let me go!" Howdy yelled

"Thank you, Pastor Kermit Thank you so very much" lord piller said as he grabbed Howdy's arm and brought him inside "Take him to his room!" Lady Piller yeed

"No! l'm telling the truth! (Y/n) needs my help!" Howdy yelled as the maid brought him to his room

"Mother, Father, please!" He yelled "Seal the doors and bar the windows. See to it that he doesn't escape again!" Lady piller told them "They need our help! Oh, let me go! Let me go!" Howdy yelled as he thrown into his room and the door was locked

"When will the mortification cease?" Lady piller asked "lt will be years before we can show ourselves in public again!" She groaned "What shall we do?" Lady piller asked

"We shall continue as planned with or without (Wrong name)" lord piller said "(Y/n)" lady piller corrected "Whatever" lord piller mumbled 

"For that girl to toss aside a young man like howdy it's positively criminal! Why, if l had a man like your son on my arm l would lavish him with riches! befitting royalty" Julie said as she appeared behind a wall

"Your husband is a most fortunate man" lady piller mumbled "Alas, l am not married l was betrothed ages ago but tragedy snatched my young Groom away" julie told them

Lord and lady piller unlocked Howdy's door and opened it unaware by the fact that Howdy was trying to break open the door with a crowbar-

"Marvelous news Howdy! there'll be a wedding after all" lord piller exclaimed "You found her?" Howdy asked relieved "Make haste, my dear, our relatives will arrive at any moment. We must have you looking presentable for Miss Joyful" lady piller told him

Howdy froze "Lady Joyful?" He asked "She will make a fine wife!" Lady piller said "Aye. A fortuitous turn of events indeed A far better prospect this time" Lord piller mumbled 

"But l do not love her...You cannot make me do this!" Howdy yelled "We must" lady piller said "Please, l beg of you! There must be another way!" Howdy begged

"Without your marriage to Miss Joyful we shall be forced, penniless, into the street! We are destitute" lord piller told him "But (Y/n)-" Howdy started but was cut off 

"(Y/n) (L/n) is gone, child! You shall marry Miss Joyful tomorrow" lady piller told him.....

[lina-lovebug]

Bleeding Hearts

Part 7

Taglist: @silverhowe @happycupcakeenthusiast @vampire-hunter @simpforavillain @dumb-fawkin-bitch @mushroomlover13 @kimqueenofhell @vane28282 @namor-is-the-way @daaiissyyyyy @anyzandy @pturnersblog @cherrychupachup

Miles pov

Years ago, on Earth. . .

The love of my life was dying.

At the age of ten, my love was diagnosed with lung cancer. It was unexpected, and it happened over the course of a week.

During class, she started to seize and she was taken away in an ambulance. Her lungs were filled with liquid and with hundreds of tests done, it was confirmed she has stage two lung cancer.

She was pulled out of school, but that didn't keep me from her. Every day, like clockwork, I took a bus to the hospital to visit room 23.

And over the course of a few years, she kept getting worse.

Her parents didn't want her to do chemo, but it was her only chance of living. Her eyes were sunken in, but the sparkle was still there. Her spirit was breaking but she was still smiling. Her curly hair was coming off in clumps but she insisted she looked better bald.

I wanted to see her get better.

I wanted to see her out of here.

"Nina," I said one day, catching her attention as the nurse finished taking her blood.

"Yes?"

"Once you're better, I'm gonna marry you," Her eyes widened.

"Wh-what the fuck? Miles, don't joke about stuff like that-"

"I'm not joking. I love you, and I've been in love with you since we were kids. I'll join the military and get us a house, and you'll never have to worry about anything ever again, I swear to you," She started to cry and at first, I thought my feelings weren't reciprocated.

But she kissed me and said yes.

I had asked her fathers permission beforehand. I wanted him to know that his daughter would be taken care of, and that I would always be by her side. Her mother was hesitant, but they both knew that if I waited any longer, I would regret never telling her.

Date nights were spent in her room. I would pick up her favorites and new things to try, just to see the reaction on her face when she found something else she liked.

One night, I had fallen asleep in the room. I was going to head home, since visiting hours were done, but she wanted me to stay.

I fell asleep with her hand in mine, my back getting used to the chair I would find myself taking naps in.

Suddenly, I heard a blaring alarm. My eyes snapped open and turned to Nina, who was seizing.

“Nina!” I tried running to her side but doctors were already forcing me out. Her eyes were on mine as I was being dragged out, and she tried speaking but no words would leave her lips.

“Please, help her!”

“You can’t be in here, Miles,” One of the nurses said, closing the door infront of me. I rushed to the side window, trying to see what was going on and luckily, they didn’t close the blinds. They turned her on her side, forcing out her IV and her body wouldn’t stop shaking.

You’ll be okay.

They’ll save you, just like they always do.

But her heart rate was going down. Rapidly.

“Hey!” I screamed, banging on the glass.

“Hey, don’t you give up on me! Nina, you need to fight!” Love can make you blind. I was so convinced that she would be out of there that I ignored how skinny she had gotten, and how pale she was. I wanted so badly to believe that she would get out so I could marry her that I didn’t even see it.

She wanted to die.

She was tired of fighting.

And it stopped.

The monitor that always beeps repeatedly, all day and everyday, had stopped.

That’s when the screaming started. I wanted it to be a nightmare. I wanted to wake up as my fists repeatedly hit the glass window, ignoring the pain and the blood. I couldn’t see reason because there couldn’t be any good one. What reason was there to take such a beautiful person away? What reason was there to take her away?

Why couldn’t I just see her smile one more time?

All those thoughts were racing through my mind as I stared at the DNA results infront of me.

Ninat’ia, a Na’vi, perfectly matched the DNA results of Nina Gonzales, who died in 2120.

This felt like a punch to the gut. Like the world was saying “fuck you”.

“Anything come up?” General Ardmore questioned from the doorway.

“Nah, just some bullshit,” I replied, trying to keep my composure as I clicked delete.

Just absolute bullshit.

[evergreen125]

It was a quiet night in a quiet neighborhood in a quiet town. I, a quiet kid with a loud mind, eased my bedroom window open, popping out the screen and setting it to the side. I perched on the window sill, toes brushing the rough shingles as I looked to the sky. I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for. A sign, maybe, to go or to stay. If I was less of a coward, I would have already jumped. If I was less of a coward, I wouldn’t be on the roof in the first place.

The wind whistled, bringing a flurry of leaves with it. It was October, and soon, I would be turning 15. Or at least, that was what everyone else thought. I did not intend to turn 15 the following week. I did not intend to turn 15 at all.

In addition to being quiet, the night was cold. Wearing nothing but shorts and a flimsy t-shirt, I sat shivering, bandaged arms crossed over my sunken stomach. Everything was in order. I had written a note. I had carefully made my bed, placing the folded paper in the center of the comforter. If I wanted, I could die tonight. I craved it like my lungs craved oxygen.

I hugged myself tighter, ignoring the stinging pain in my forearms. The sky was not offering any signs to speak of, so the decision was entirely my own. 

“You’ll regret this, you know,” said a soft, familiar voice. It was a voice I hated with every fiber of my being. “Everyone does. But once you jump, there’s no going back.”

I turned slowly. Behind me stood a young adult, perhaps in their mid-20s, hair shorn into a curly pixie cut and eyes bright with something that had long been missing from my own. Their cheeks were plumper, rosier, and their face was marked with smile lines rather than the wrinkle that had made itself at home between my brows, but it was undeniable. I was gazing at an older version of myself. They were simultaneously a stranger and someone I had always known. They were all the things I hated about myself as well as everything I wanted so desperately to be. 

I turned my back and rested my forehead on my knees. I was so, so tired.

“No one wants me here,” I replied, voice heavy with resignation. “It’ll be better this way.” My older self let out a soft sigh. That sound, at least, was familiar. As I sat with my sadness, I felt a small hand rest on my back. When I turned, a young girl sat beside me.

She wore my face as well, young and carefree, as well as a pair of purple striped pajamas.

“Look at the stars,” she said, pointing upwards with wonder in her eyes. “The Big Dipper, Orion, Andromeda,” she listed. “Did you know that the Big Dipper is also called Ursa Major? The Great Bear. Remember that bear we saw last summer?”

I did. She talked a mile a minute, and her excitement was palpable. Anyone who met her would see a child with a bright future ahead of her. When had I lost that light?

“The stars are beautiful tonight,” my older self agreed. “So many things are beautiful. You’re beautiful too. I just wish you could see it.”

“I’m far from beautiful,” I said. I was all acne spots and awkward smiles, stringy hair and bony knees. Thinner, but never thin enough.

“You won’t see it now,” they conceded. “But you’ll see it someday. All you have to do is get off the roof.” My three selves sat in silence for what felt like hours. The stars shone brightly. It was a gorgeous night.

The younger me pulled a small yellow legal pad out of thin air and drew a sparkly mechanical pencil from behind her ear. She began to scribble furiously, face scrunched up in concentration. The words were ephemeral, fading in and out of existence, shifting as quickly as a child’s thoughts. I didn’t know what they said, but I knew how they felt. They felt like hope. Freedom. I was young again, stealing pads of paper from my grandpa’s office and writing as if it was breathing. In, out, in, out. I craved it like oxygen.

“Do you want to read my book?” she asked, offering me the pad. “It’s about dragons.”

I took it. It felt foreign in my hands, and I was suddenly overcome with the urge to cry. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and when I opened them, the words on the page had shifted once again. You always wanted to be a writer, they read.

I had always wanted to be a writer. I still wanted it, if I was being honest with myself, but after months of staring at the blank page, the words had become less like an exhale and more like blood, congealing in my throat and filling my lungs. Everything was so heavy these days. Was this what Atlas felt like when he held the weight of the sky on his shoulders? Like he might buckle at any moment, taking the world down with him?

“You can still do it, you know,” my older self promised. “Things will get better. You’ll discover new things that you love. You’ll see the world. All you need to do is stick around a while longer.” Sticking around felt so simple. It felt like a crushing task. Could I do it? I didn’t know.

My younger self wrapped her purple-pajamad arms around my waist, holding on tight. “I’m proud of you,” she said. 

My older self placed a steady hand on my shoulder. “Don’t you want to know me?” they asked. The last of my resolve melted. I crumbled, allowing them to guide me off of the roof and back into my bedroom. Numb fingers fumbled with the window screen, attempting to fit it back into place. The older me gently pried it from my hands and replaced it, shutting and latching the window behind them.

As if in a trance, I walked to my bed, picking up the folded note and tucking it into a book on my nightstand. I would do away with it later, maybe burn it. It was late. I was exhausted, the most exhausted I’d ever been in my life. As I collapsed into bed, my other selves curled up next to me. I slept deeply, restfully. When I woke, they were gone.That morning, I rose, changed my bandages, and got ready for school. I will make her proud, I thought. I will live long enough to know them. The next week, I turned 15. I am so glad that I did.

[zephfair]

Prompt: (if you are open to such)

Pynch on a hike!

A: "at least the view was worth it, it's so beautiful"

R: "not as beautiful as you are" CHEESY RONAN IT IS

HEY there, beautiful Anon! Guess who's showing up 5 months late with your ficlet??? That's right! Me! 🤦‍♀️

I'm so very sorry it took me 5 months to post this! It's cheesy and fluffy and has absolutely 0 plot ... so basically it's exactly like all the rest of my writing.

But I really hope you enjoy this short little gift! Thank you SO MUCH for leaving me a prompt, and again, I apologize for taking so long to finish it!

After Ronan insisted on taking a rest break for the fifth time in two hours, Adam had enough and bitched back.

“Lynch, I know for a fact that you can walk longer than 20 minutes at a time, even if it is uphill,” he said. “Now get your ass in gear.”

Ronan huffed, in annoyance, not from being out of shape. “I just don’t see why we have to go on a hike while you’re home on spring break. We could be doing something so much more fun at home.”

“What could be better than exploring the woods and mountains on a sunny spring day? And don’t you dare say fucking.”

“Wasn’t gonna,” Ronan sulked. “Not in the mood now, anyway.”

Adam hefted his backpack up a little snugger. “That’s a lie, Lynch. You’re always in the mood.”

“You’re right,” Ronan smirked at him. “Speaking of…”

“No way. We are finishing this hike.”

Ronan tilted his head back and let loose a string of cursing that always impressed Adam in the strangest way. Once he got it out of his system, Adam tried his best to loom over the rock where Ronan sat.

“Feel better now? Need another drink? Boots feeling all right?” he asked in a saccharine voice.

Ronan narrowed his eyes as he looked up. “These boots weren’t made for walking up a mountain all day. And yeah, I need a drink. You got anything stronger than Gatorade?”

“No. Now get your ass up and get walking.”

Ronan’s groan was at least five seconds long and loud enough to make some birds fly away from a nearby tree.

“Your objection has been noted. Move.”

Ronan’s grumbling followed him doggedly. “Don’t you need to stop and check your phone? It’s practically glued to your face these days,” he mocked at one point. “Won’t your friends be scared if they can’t reach you at any moment? If you don’t text back ASAP? Won’t your books be lonely if you don’t have your face shoved in them all damn day?”

It wasn’t quite enough to ruin Adam’s good mood. He’d thought bringing Ronan on a day-long hike would be fun, and it had started well, with a beautiful sunrise as they drove to the bottom of the hiking trail. Ronan had even cooperated with picking out snacks and drinks and agreed to carry a backpack, too.

But as the morning wore on, and the trail continued up into the woods, Ronan began to get bored. At first he tried talking to Adam, bitching and complaining, but Adam had ignored him to point out all the beauties of the forest in spring.

Then the frequent pee breaks and sitting spells began.

When Ronan plopped down on a fallen log and insisted on another break, Adam snapped.

“Why the hell are you being such a pain in the ass?”

“I hate hiking,” Ronan said sulkily, pawing through his backpack for another granola bar.

Adam ran a hand over his face and tried to calm down. “You’ve been hiking for miles all over the Blue Ridge with Gansey. And me. And Hennessy loves bitching about the time you introduced her to Lindenmere by making her hike there in her fancy outfit. We’ve explored all the land around the Barns multiple times. What is it about this hike that is turning you into such a giant whiny baby?”

“It wasn’t like this.”

“What do you mean?”

“It wasn’t,” Ronan gestured broadly around himself, “like this.”

Adam stared at him, arms crossed over his chest, and waited, but there was no further explanation offered. “So what’s so different.”

“It’s just, there was a goal in mind, before. This just feels pointless.”

Adam continued to stare at him, so Ronan tried to explain.

“With Gansey and you, it was fun, and we were hunting Glendower and all that shit. It was hiking for an adventure, to find the end of the puzzle. And Lindenmere is its own goal, so it’s not this,” he gestured at the woods again, “just walking around in circles or shit. We got to the end. It wasn’t pointless.”

“I thought,” Adam said softly, “the point was to spend the day together doing something we both enjoyed. Man, was I wrong.”

“Adam, no,” Ronan jumped up and grabbed his shoulders. “I didn’t mean it like that. I love spending time with you. You know that.”

Adam finally met his eyes and shrugged.

“I guess, I guess I just need to know where I’m going, or know that there’s something worth finding when I get there. Otherwise it’s just traipsing around the woods and getting blisters on my feet when we could be at home, in bed, finding a happy ending.”

Adam snorted despite himself. Ronan smiled a little and leaned his forehead against Adam’s.

“I guess it’s like the age-old question about whether life is about the journey or the destination. We have two very different philosophies,” Adam said.

“Don’t make this into some big psychological thing,” Ronan moaned. “I’m just tired and grumpy and my feet hurt.”

Now, that sounded more like his Ronan, and Adam knew how to motivate that.

“So, you’re saying I have to set you a goal, like a preschooler. Give you a gold star if you accomplish this task?”

“Or,” Ronan stroked down Adam’s arms and crept around his waist, “you can bribe me.”

“You seriously expect me to bribe you? What would it cost me to get you out of the house on a beautiful day that we can spend together?”

“I dunno. What’s it worth to you?” Ronan asked breathily in his ear.

“I think we’re working on different reward systems here.”

“There’s one thing you can offer.” The way Ronan tried to waggle his eyebrows in what he probably thought was seduction or playful didn’t work on Adam.

He said firmly, “No, Lynch, we’re not doing that here.”

“Why not?” Ronan was still talking heavily in his ear.

“Because that’s how you get tick bites on your dick. Do you want to get a tick attached to your dick? That’s how you get super Lyme disease.”

That pronouncement made Ronan step back and cup his hand protectively over his groin. “Seriously?”

“I don’t know, but I do know that I don’t want either of our dicks infested with ticks. Now let’s pick up the pace,” Adam glanced at his watch. “We do have somewhere to be.”

Ronan kept a low undertone of grumbling as he followed Adam up and along and down and up again.

“You know, you wouldn’t lose your breath if you shut the fuck up for a while and quit complaining,” Adam told him.

Ronan stomped along behind him in silence then.

But even Adam was feeling the strain in his legs when they got to the top of the hill that Adam was pretty sure was their destination from the sound of it.

The trail came out onto a clearing at the side of the mountain. The view out over the valley was beautiful, with a patchwork of farms and lawns and woods crisscrossed by the tiny ribbons of roads and the minuscule boxes of houses, barns and buildings.

Immediately above was a waterfall that roared from a stream coming down from the top of the mountain and swollen with melting snow pack. From where they stood, the waterfall looked like it was falling the entire way down the mountain, but was actually caught in a rocky pool below them that would let it funnel down in a creek to the valley below.

Looking out over the water into the valley was a little vertigo inducing, Adam thought, just for a minute.

He glanced up at the sky then checked behind for Ronan. “I think we got here in time. Wait until that cloud moves away from the sun.”

When it did, the sunlight hit the water and at the right angle, it created a huge rainbow arcing down the side of the mountain.

“Wow. That’s gay,” Ronan said.

“Excuse me?”

“You know what I mean. Is this what we walked all this fucking way for?”

Adam shrugged. “Yeah, but also because it’s a fun and healthy way to spend a day in nature.”

“I could’ve had more fun and more health spending it in bed.”

Adam gestured toward the idyllic picture of the valley far below them. “At least the view was worth it. It’s so beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you are,” Ronan said.

“Dammit, Lynch, that’s really cheesy.”

“I know. But it’s true.”

Adam side-eyed him. “You do realize that we now have to walk back down that entire mountain?”

Ronan shrugged and slung his arm around Adam’s shoulders, leaning on him heavily. “At least we’ll be together, right?”

“Oh sure. Now you’re suddenly fine with this whole hiking thing.”

“Nah, but I’m fine about spending an entire day with you. I guess it is nice, knowing that you won’t be distracted by homework or school shit or your phone. Or your little school friends.”

“I guess that’s true,” Adam said slowly, finally realizing the depth that Ronan was jealous of sharing him. He bumped his hip, hard enough to make Ronan take his own weight back. “Maybe we need more days, just the two of us together. No distractions.”

Ronan made a pfft sound that was probably disdain but Adam knew to read as agreement.

“Whatever,” Ronan said and turned his head to bite Adam’s cheek. “Now how about I pretend I’m a tick and I bite and suck you.”

“You’re such a romantic, Lynch,” Adam said, but he was already fighting with his belt as Ronan started to laugh at him. “But if I get a tick-borne illness…”

“I’ll take care of you. Promise,” Ronan said, his voice suddenly deepening.

Adam reached for him, holding his face in his hands, as he looked over the familiar, annoying, beloved face. When Ronan kissed him, it felt like a promise of something deeper and truer than an off-the-cuff joke; like many of his interactions with Ronan, pairing the obnoxious with the holy in one desirable package.

“Thanks for coming with me today,” Adam said as Ronan kissed his way down Adam’s neck.

“Thanks for spending it with me,” Ronan replied, his hands taking over on Adam’s belt. “Now shut up and enjoy the view.”

Adam did, very much.

[bookswithsyd]

My First Cozy Fantasy | Legends and Lattes

Cozy Fantasy is not a genre that I have hear a whole lot about, and the main title that I kept seeing come up again and again was “Legends and Lattes.” I kept going back and forth on if I really wanted to check this title out, and when I found it available to check out on the Libby app, I pulled the trigger and tried it out.

Like most other books for me, this was a rough start. We get Viv finishing up her last mission as an adventurer before finding her new home. Most of the story involves Viv and friends creating the first café in the town, introduce coffee to the townspeople, and create new sweet treats.

On a surface level, this book is nice, its got its fun moments, it has highs and lows. But, I feel like it’s lacking some substance. Nothing that happened in the story came as a surprise, there was no suspense. We see Viv trying to start a new life, go down a new path, and build a life of ease in this new town after killing and questing for all her life. I wish we saw more of a struggle during the adjustment time for her, see some character development. We get to see only a glimpse at this when she questions on if she should solve her problems with violence (as suggested by her old adventuring crew), but she scrubs the idea quickly.

This is an issue I have with the other main cast as well. There is not a lot of depth to any of them. They each play a role, and that is it, none of them grow or develop. Tandri is the only main player that seems to have a real personality, she pushes for the shop to be better and she also wants what’s best for Viv. It can be explained by the stone brining people together, but Tandri dropping everything to give her life to a shop that sells a product she has never heard of seems insane. Cal shows up when he is needed and does help process the story by building up the shop, but he always has the answer one way or another. Thimble is a character that has personality by moving around and only speaking when absolutely necessary, I wish more could have been done with his character in some way, I feel like he could have been more important than just a baker that makes new treats.

I will say, there is a single person who has an incredible turn around, and that is Pendry! Pendry starts out so incredibly shy that he sprints out of the shop the first night he tries to serenade that crowd. He slowly develops into a confident performer who proudly plays and sings for the large crowd of customers. Plus, during the re-building stages, he admits that the family business is stone laying, but that his performing is simply a passion (as seen why he explains why he doesn’t feel right putting out a hat for coins). Pendry feels like a real character that finishes in a different state than he entered the book.

All of the big events that happen could be spotted from a mile away. The issues with the Madrigal was obviously going to find a compromise. I will admit that I love the compromise that they came to, I thought that was such a cute thing. But once threats started and Fennus came into the story, I just had this terrible feeling that the café was going to be set on fire… I didn’t expect it to be set on fire at night with Viv and Tandri INSIDE or it to be magical fire that can’t be put out and burned down the whole thing. I was sad to see all the hard work vanish in minutes, and seeing Viv so depressed (as she has every right to be) was really taking away from the nice happy feeling that I came to this book to feel!

I did enjoy reading the rebuilding section where everyone comes together to make the café even better than before, proving that the community is behind Viv and what she was brought to them all. The ending with the perfect grand re-opening was a beautiful scene to imagine. It did seem to tie everything up in a lovely bow with all the important characters getting a share of the café as a show of gratitude that they all built this place together.

The last three pages escalate the side-lined romance plotline more than the rest of the story combined. The inkling of progress happens with the adorable picnic that Tandri packs for them, plus Tandri insisting on staying in the café with Viv in case anything happens. It is clear that feelings are there, but it is barely touched on. Then, all of a sudden Viv invites Tandri to live with her in the café with her own room with a bunch of art supplies, like where did this level of infatuation and love come from? And then it just ENDS! Reading this on my kindle, it said I was 85% of the way done with this book so I was thinking, “where are we going to go from here?” Only for the story to just END.

Overall, this book had a great ending half, but the middle lacked a lot of substance for me, so I’ve given this book 3-stars. I would not recommend this book, but I do want to try out more books in the genre.

[latina94]

Mated to my enemy

Chapter one : Emory

Em, come on, we are going to be late says my friend Ashly from downstairs, and you dont want to be late. Do you she asks I sgh and yell back. I'm coming

I am Emory from the cloud pack. I am the daughter of a beta, beta Jack, and my mother Teresa. I'm seventeen years old, and still in high school, I rush down the hall and the stairs to where Ashly is waiting we walk into the dining room and I see my parents sitting eating breakfast good morning, good morning beta Jack and Beta Teresa I hear Ashky say

Good morning, sweet heart says mom good morning, my little China doll dad. Can you please not call me that I say with a smile ? Why ? He asks because I'm not a China doll I say with smile he laughs no but your tiny and beautiful like one I blush I just nod well well we gotta go I say while grabbing bagle off the table no we are late yes says Ashly your daughter is always late my parents laugh we walk out the dinning room and into the front hall as I reach the door I here late again shrimpy I sigh and turn to see my brother walking down the stairs smiling , I swear Collin I'll will hit you you'll have to catch me first shrimp he laughs hey I say you know that I am as fast as you are or faster if I want to be he shakes his head I let you win I furrow my brows ya OK um Em we need to go I hear my sister say I look over at her and she's blushing I know she has always had a crush on my brother Collin and I think he does to Collin is nineteen and hasn't found his mate he is going to be the beta when alpha Shawn's son Alek becomes Alpha once he finds his mate .

We wolf's don't find are mates til we are eighteen and if we don't then there is one a few reason that person hasn't found there mate either they are not of age or they died before the come of age in which we would feel do to the connection but we dont get are wolf's til we are eighteen or we just never find them .

Let's go I say we walk out the door and walk to Ashly's car she got last year on her seventeenth birthday its a nice mini cupe as we get I ask so do you think you could be my brother mate she blushes I doubt it she says he will probably get some beautiful model type girl to be his mate I get annoyed at her response hey you are beautiful I tell her Ashly has red hair and is taller them she is well built with long legs and dark chocolate eyes unlike me who is short and no matter how hard I try I get seem to lose the big hips, big boobs, and ass that just won't go away and while I'm not fat I work out and I do worrier training with Ashly and her brother which no one outside of my parents and Ashly know I want to be a good worrier for the pack I am not looking at my red hair and these freckles that started on my nose she says oh stop I'm sure you guys will be mates and my brother will love you. Have you seen the girls he dates I sigh knowing my brother dates a lot but has never brought a girl home but I didn't want to tell her that because if they are mates then she will find out. OK well, this weekend is our birthday I tell her she looks over at me with a smile we will find out then we are both turning eighteen and we will getting are wolf I'm so excited because for a while now I have been able to feel my wolf just talk to her I can't wait.

We get to the school parking lot and park we go. to a shifter school that is down a few miles from our territory we are one of the largest packs in the country with over a thousand wolves, we get out of the car and start to walk to the building we walk in and go straight for our lockers as I open my locker to get out what I need for my classes we hear footstep getting close to us then I hear the one voice I wanna push in the face oh look girls it's a midget and her little freckled friend I sigh and turn around to face the queen batch and her groupie I smile and raze my eyebrow look Ash Tiffany must have had her cup of bitch today I say I hear Ash giggle she tries to step closer to me so I meet her halfway watch it because one I become luna I will banish up I laugh oh yeah I say yeah she says you know Alk will take me as his chosen mate soon.

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. You are so sure of yourself. I tell her of course I am she says I'm his girlfriend now and he loves I shake my head let's go, Ash, Ash before we are late for class I shut my locker and walk around her when I feel her grab my arm don't walk away when I'm talking to you I turn around and push her don't touch me I tell her as her little groupie catch her how dare you push how dare you put your hands on me first and we walk away we get to class the rest of the day goes by with another sighting of Tifanny and her little group right as I get to my last class I get text

Text

Alik ,

Emory I want to see you in my dad's office after school

Emory I will be there

I sigh, of course, he does I. Sure, his little whiny girlfriend cried that I hit her without telling him the full story

[alwaysmercy]

Sitting Vigil

Some dates are embedded in our memory, sharp and crisp, while others catch us unawares. This morning, the signs were there ~ an uneasy night’s sleep, the daffodils with their sunny faces catching the early February sun, my morning devotions with the reminder that today is the death date of Martin Luther, who died in 1546. Then it dawned on me. Today is the anniversary of my father’s death. It’s been twelve years.

I wrote something about my father’s last hours many years ago and am reposting it here.

In the still, inky hours between midnight and dawn, my father lay dying.  Unable to speak or move, struggling for breath, his vital organs shutting down, he lay there succumbing to the ravages of a severe stroke and pneumonia.

It is difficult to reconcile this image with the one that is before me now. I am looking at a framed photo of the two of us taken some time before my first trip to Africa in 2006. We are sitting side-by-side, leaning into each other with smiles of contentment, not knowing what the years to come would bring each of us. As it turned out, I would venture out making treks across the continents, while he moved across two state lines. I would witness suffering beyond suffering in Kenya and Sudan. He would begin that slow decline that comes with age and debilitating diseases--a decline that brings suffering of body and soul.

A much younger Pamela and her father, Louis “Spike” Boehle, 2005

It was our shared suffering that brought us closer. We journeyed along suffering’s way absorbing her lessons of brokenness, leading us to the places of vulnerability and compassion. In this shared space, we spoke of essential things: Love, Christ, joys, sorrows, fears, and desires.

On that February night when he lay dying, I lay sleeping, almost a thousand miles away. But he was not alone. Throughout the dark hours of that winter night, a hospice volunteer was sitting by his side. I think of it as sitting vigil, standing guard, being present, offering the gift of presence in the most tangible, concrete way possible.  And it was this same volunteer who held the phone to my father’s ear so I could speak to him as he took his last breaths. In this sacred space, I spoke of essential things: Love, Christ, and my father’s imminent journey home. We prayed The Our Father, The Apostles’ Creed, the Psalms ~ familiar words of faith that had shaped us along the way.

I cannot tell you the name of the hospice, nor the name of the hospice volunteer who so lovingly gave of himself to be present with my father in that betwixt and between time ~ that time from life to death to life again in Christ. But I can tell you this ~ I am forever grateful. This gratitude has gently nudged me over the past few years to the place where I find myself today. It is a place of stories, passions, and dreams.

We all have stories ~ stories of life, of suffering and of death. These stories connect us at an essential level. Our shared stories often move us to a place of compassion and mercy, and the desire to “do something”. Once such conversation took place in 2013 with a dear friend and colleague in Kenya, Pastor David Chuchu. Our desire to be present with those in their suffering, and especially in those last hours of life, has given birth to a dream to build a hospice house in rural Kenya. I have begun to speak of this dream in some of the various presentations given on the mercy work in Kenya and people have shared their stories with me ~ stories of suffering, dying and the beauty of hospice in such a vulnerable and intimate time.

Pastor David Chuchu and Pamela, 2014

Thanks to many of you, our stories are intertwining to create Rehema Open Door, the hospice and palliative care center in Kenya. Rehema Open Door now has a foundation, walls, and a roof!  Within her walls and out in the community, Rehema Open Door will sit vigil with those who are suffering and/or dying.

See our stories and visit our website, alwaysmercy.org

[madam-wakefield]

OPEN WHEN… CHAPTER 18

A03 Link 

Summary:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13  Chapter 14  Chapter 15  Chapter 16 Chapter 17 When a few years into their relationship Bernie is asked to go back to the army and deploy Serena isn’t sure how she’s going to get through the nine months without her girlfriend. What she doesn’t expect is for it to be her girlfriend who has the perfect set of surprises to get her through both the best and the worst days. Canon divergent - Elinor lives (well actually the accident never happens), Raf lives, and Cameron isn’t a total ass! The staff of AAU also probably didn’t all work on there at the same time in canon but do in this! The fic is already fully written with the first few chapters having already been Beta’d. 27 chapters including the epilogue. Hoping to post every Monday and Friday!

Open when you wish we could have a date night.

She’s having her monthly catch up with Fleur, it’s something that they used to do sporadically before Bernie went away but since then Fleur has made time for Serena at least once a month to ensure that Serena has someone to offload to if she needs to. Just a little piece of normality while Bernie is away.

They are waiting for their breakfast and are making small talk until she hears Fleur drop the bombshell “I may have got myself a girlfriend.”

Serena smiles, happy for the woman sat opposite her, knows that she’s been lonely just a little too long. “Well don’t leave me hanging, tell me about her.”

“She’s called Imogen,” Fleur begins, “we met through a mutual friend at their birthday party. You know me can’t help but gravitate to the lesbians!” Fleur says smirk on her face.

“I’d noticed,” Serena answers back giving her that knowing look, wonders exactly how Fleur has been single for so long when she has an insane ability to notice seemingly any member of the sapphic fan club from a mile away.

“I didn’t think anything of it at first, you know what my friendship group is like, we all go out together socially far too often in different variations, but each time we ended up at the same events we seemed to gravitate to each other.” There is a pause then as their breakfasts are brought to the table and they offer their thanks to the waiter, but soon enough the conversation is flowing again.

“It wasn’t until the fifth time, that when everyone else was getting ready to go home, Imogen asked me if I wanted to stay with her for a drink, I didn’t have work the next day and had nothing to lose so accepted easily, and well you know what it’s like one drink turned into five.

Serena gives Fleur a look, because she doesn’t need to know any more details, knows Fleur will happily share everything, definitely not shy. “Don’t give me that look Serena Campbell! Nothing happened, I was a good girl, we shared a kiss, arranged a date, and went our separate ways.”

“Going soft in your old age are you!” Serena smirks back, loves how easy she feels around Fleur, in a totally platonic way obviously.

“You wish! Just because I behaved that night doesn’t mean I have since, and honestly, if you could see her, I think you’d understand why. She’s so beautiful Serena, and so kind and caring and compassionate….”

Serena is so happy for Fleur and would love to say she keeps listening but with Fleur fawning over her new beau, Serena can’t help but let her thoughts wonder to her own and very absent lover. Today marks exactly six months since Bernie left, exactly three more until she’s due home, they’re two thirds of the way through this separation, and she can’t help but will every day to go just a little bit faster.

She’s gotten used to certain things as much as she can, the fact that she’s the one who is mostly responsible when the red phone rings to alert of a new patient coming into the trauma unit. She’s gotten used to only ordering a single glass of shiraz when she goes to the bar at Albies, doesn’t have to remind herself not to order a second glass or a whiskey. She’s grown used to watching a plethora of quiz shows, where the only questions she can guarantee to get right are the medical ones and old doctor who episodes, even though she has no idea what the heck is going on, and how come the doctor seems to have been four different people already. She still doesn’t get the regeneration thing even though Jason has exasperatedly explained it to her numerous times.

She remembers not to pick up the biscuits that Bernie loves so much but that her and Jason hate. Once a month she enjoys buying a selection of stuff to send to Bernie in the tiny shoebox size care package that never seem good enough no matter how much she tries. She’s even got used to being the one who is responsible for putting the bin out whatever the weather.

She hasn’t however got used to how empty the bed feels without Bernie or to waking up alone every morning. She hasn’t gotten used to the fact that when she looks up for reassurance in theatre that it’s Raf eyes who meet hers. She isn’t used to not being able to find Bernie for a hug, every time she feels cold or just needs to be held in that special way only Bernie can hold her. She hasn’t got used to being without the kiss of Bernie’s lips against hers at so many moments during the day, because Bernie wants to remind her that she loves her, because one of them has arrived home from work, or just because they can.

She knows without a doubt that Bernie deploying was the right thing, that they will get through the nine months, or well three months now. That in some ways it will make them stronger as a couple, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not also hard. It doesn’t stop her missing Bernie so much she feels like a piece of herself is literally missing. 

“Are you actually listening to me anymore?” Serena looks up sheepishly at the comment, face portraying the fact that she most certainly had not been listening anymore. “Thinking of the one who isn’t here?” It’s a question, but it’s not at the same time. Serena knows that Fleur knows she’s thinking about Bernie.

“I miss her,” Serena says in way of response, knows that if there is anyone around that she can speak to about this that it’s Fleur. She’s not sure if it’s the fact even she believed she was straight for over fifty years, but there is something refreshing about being able to talk to Fleur about this, to someone who understands what it’s like to love another woman the way she loves Bernie.

“How long til she’s home?” And in that moment, she is so thankful for Fleur, who doesn’t tell her that it’s stupid to miss Bernie because it won’t make her come home any faster. Who doesn’t tell her to try and occupy her mind with anything else, but instead lets her talk about her feelings.

“All being well three months today, 6th May, already well and truly booked in the diary as a week off.” She watches Fleur raise her eyebrows at that and reaches across the table to gently bat her arm with her hand. “Get your head out of the bloody gutter and stop imagining me and my girlfriend naked!” Serena remarks only slightly exasperated; this is Fleur after all.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Fleur says drawing a cross over her heart, “Your girlfriend reminded me, before she went away, that I was to look after you and that she knows thirteen different ways to kill me with her bare hands.”

“Maybe I should be scared, if that’s just with her bare hands.” Serena jokes back, knows Fleur is trying to make her feel a little better.

“Excuse me, you love what her bare hands can do.” And this time Serena is scandalised, blushing furiously.

“You’re insufferable do you know that?” Serena says back when she’s finally able to formulate a sentence again.

“Yes, but you love me,” Fleur drawls at her then, all puppy dog eyes.

“Only in the platonic way, the true affection of my heart is still over three thousand miles away.” And just like that and without either of them trying the conversation is back on Bernie. “And I still miss her.”

She watches as Fleur smiles at her gently then, joking nature put aside for a few minutes. “I know you do, and I’m not going to tell you to stop, you’d be a fool if you stopped missing her, but it’ll all be worth it in the end.” And in that moment Serena is so thankful that she does know Fleur so well, that Fleur does know what she needs to hear. No, she isn’t Bernie but she considers Fleur a good friend and having her support is helpful.

After breakfast with Fleur she completes the rest of the chores she set herself to complete but even while trying to occupy herself and no matter what was said between her and Fleur she knows she’d give anything for a simple date night with Bernie now. Not because of what their date nights so often lead to, though she misses that too. But genuinely she misses small talk with Bernie, misses Bernie being able to tell her about her day, misses being able to tell Bernie about her day. She shares more via blueys than Bernie does, both because there are certain things Bernie can’t put in writing and also because there is only so much Bernie can actually do in the little down time she does get in camp. Knows that rightly or wrongly she ends up spending a lot of what should be her down time checking on her subordinates.

That evening she sits in the conservatory, heater blowing gently against her skin, she hadn’t felt up to watching quiz shows with Jason tonight but hadn’t wanted to disturb his routine, so she’d excused herself into here instead.

They had their first “date” in this conservatory, after Bernie had returned from Kiev and Jason, once he’d found the key to the office had told them he was going to spend the night with Fletch and Raf. They’d ordered take away, and talked, about all the things that had got them to that point both good and bad. There were times when Bernie had stumbled over her words not used to the communication but true to her word of having changed, she’d battled through, and it was so worth it because here they are over three years later.

She picks the “Serena – open when you need a date night” envelope off from the sofa cushion next to her, and opens its careful, can’t in many ways believe how few of the special envelopes she has left, though guesses that it’s a good thing as that means it’s getting closer for it to be time for Bernie to come home.

My Dearest Serena

I’m sorry you’re missing our date nights in my absence. I’m not sure at this point how long I’ve been gone but what I can be certain of is that I’m missing our date nights too. As much as I wish I could tell you that I could take you on a date tomorrow night I can’t, we both know that. So instead, I’m going to remind you of some of those special date nights we have had together instead.

I can still remember the first date night we had together. I’d come back from Kiev and spent the day thinking you hated me, not that I could blame you with what I’d done. Then all of a sudden, we were locked in our office, and I promised you I’d changed and you told me you wanted to have that meal we’d never been able to have three months before. Told me that this time it was going to be at your house so we could talk properly.

We ordered Chinese take away, laughed gently when we realised how similar our orders were. We spent the rest of the evening sitting and talking and working out ways to ensure we never made those kinds of mistakes in our relationship again.

Then there was our first proper date night at the Italian with the extensive wine list, the way Sammie looked at us both and told us she was glad we’d finally admitted what it had been obvious we’d both wanted all those months before. If only it had been so obvious to the pair of us what the other wanted, hey.

Then there’s the first missed date night, the one that when you came to my flat to pick me up you told me that I just looked too irresistible. You couldn’t help but attach your lips to mine, pushed me back inside my flat where we spent the evening making love and totally ignoring the fact we were meant to be going out to eat, and eating each other out instead we might both be well over fifty but doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a good time.

There was that date when we went to London for the weekend, we went to the theatre, and I may have used sitting so close to you as an excuse to spend the whole time holding your hand or stroking your leg. At the interval the lady who had been sitting behind us had approached us and asked us how we dared to be so brave, and open, because she wanted what we had but hadn’t even told her family yet. We were honest with her and told her that it wasn’t always easy, but the benefits definitely outweighed the fear. I still wonder about her sometimes, wonder if she was ever able to be brave.

There was the date night that went so horribly wrong because as soon as we got to the restaurant, I realise that I’d caught the sickness bug going around AAU. Rather than complaining however, you took me home and looked after me in a way someone had never done for me before, and I fell even more in love with you than I already was. There have been innumerable numbers of other dates but as much as I wish I did, I don’t have forever to write this letter. 

I hope that these memories have helped you feel at least a little bit better. I know they’re what I’ll think of every time I wish I could have a date night with you. And I can’t wait for what I know will be a very special first date night once I’m back. If you need to before than take Fleur on a platonic date somewhere and enjoy yourself, just make sure Fleur behaves herself because you’re mine!

I love you and miss you so much.

All My Love Bernie,

Your Big Macho Army Medic x

Serena can’t help but laugh, if only Bernie knew it was Fleur’s fault that she’s feeling this way. Loves the fact that Bernie trusts her so much that she knows Fleur isn’t really a threat as much as they joke. So, she does what Bernie says and arranges a platonic date with Fleur and when she also meets Imogen during that platonic date three days later, well she can totally see why Fleur is so infatuated with her. She’s so happy for the other woman and reminds herself once more that her own lover will be back in less than three months.

[rhondarossano]

BACK IN BELIZE-EVERY DAY IS AN ADVENTURE

Merry Christmas and prayers for a Blessed New Year!

We had a lovely Christmas with our family. We were able to spend time with good friends and hear the beautiful music at St. Joseph's Christmas Mass. We miss everyone and look forward to the next visit.

We welcomed 2024 with our return to Belize; it did not unfold exactly as we had planned.

After Christmas with the girls, Matt flew to visit his mom, so he was going to return to Belize from there. We originally tried to get him a flight that would allow us to meet in Houston and continue to Belize together, but that didn't work out, so he had to get a connection in Miami. We would both land in Belize within 30 minutes of one another. Matt had arranged a service to drive us back to our house from the airport.

My trip was going quite smoothly, but when I arrived in Houston, I received a text from Matt saying he had missed his flight and wouldn't be getting to Belize until the following day. I confirmed with the car service that I would still need a ride. After arriving in Belize, getting through customs, and finding my driver, we were on our way; I paid particular attention to the route taken because I was going to go back to the airport to pick Matt up the following day. You may think finding my way back the next day wouldn't be a problem, but Matt had the Belize phone, so I didn't have Google Maps, and there aren't many street signs to help with navigation. Landmarks are the key to finding one's way here. While Rinaldo, the driver and I had quite a pleasant conversation, i did my best to take note of the old tree or corner grocery that marked each turn in the route.

When I went to get Matt the next day, I needed to get gas, but the first station I stopped at was closed since it was New Year's Day, and I wondered if any stations would be open to fill up my thirsty car. Thankfully, I did find one open before the tank was empty.

I took the wrong exit off a roundabout, taking an alternate way to the airport without even knowing it. This error, however caused delays in my progress. I came to an intersection where all traffic was being stopped for the KREM Radio annual New Year's Day Cycling Race.

And yes, they were going my direction. The other drivers and I followed (and led, and were surrounded by, and traveled amongst) the bikes for about 25 miles. Time was ticking away, and I thought Matt would now be waiting for me for quite some time. Because of the distractions the bikes caused, I missed the turn into the airport and realized something was wrong when I was in Belize City proper; more time ticked by.

Because of the race, many police officers were out. I asked one if I had passed by the airport; he confirmed my error. The fix was fairly simple: drive to the roundabout and head back the way I had come. I was, however, still a bit unsure of the exact location of the airport. Fortunately for me, there was also road construction and the public buses were not running because of the race. The road construction caused traffic to go very slowly near the officer who had helped me. When I returned to that area, a gentleman flagged me down. He had overheard me ask the officer about the airport, and his mom and young daughter needed a ride to their home near the airport because the buses weren't running. He asked if I could take them, and I happily agreed. I know that Teresita was sent to help me find the airport to get Matt who I supposed had arrived nearly two hours earlier.

Once Matt was in the car and I introduced Teresita as my guide, I said I hoped he hadn't been waiting too long. He replied, "No, I just got through customs; you must have seen my flight was delayed." I had no idea!

We took Teresita and her granddaughter home. Teresita said she hoped we would see each other again. We had a fabulous lunch at Fu Wi Flavaz restaurant and marveled at how everything had worked out.

There are no coincidences in life; there is purpose in every circumstance. I had a grand adventure, learned about a little Belizean New Year's tradition, and made a new friend. We have so many blessings and are thankful for each one and for the adventures that help us see them clearly. I will keep my eyes and heart open for those sent my way in 2024.

[one-spaceship-to-historia]

Writing Snippet #1

This is a discarded prologue. It is written from a POV that quite frankly had no impact on the story, it also doesn't help that I wrote this approximately five years ago now. It's also the second attempt at this sequence. It also portrays a discarded version of the character Auden, before they had finished unfurling into the being they are in the current narrative. Enjoy this clunky old piece of writing.

It started like any other day. 

  Well, at least it seemed to. She woke before the sun rose, was listening to the radio through her head set and looking out the hotel window. She was fully dressed, off in whatever fantasyland she’d been reading about that week. If at that moment I had bothered to read her expression. I would have noticed that she was frowning. But I sat up and sent my gaze into the adjoined hotel room where I could hear my other friends grumbling as they woke. I had called out to them, asking what today’s plan was. Asking her specifically what café she wanted to visit, because I owed her a raspberry tea. 

We had decided, being young and infallible, that going to the beautiful city of San Francisco after Graduating High school was a good game plan. A couple weeks pretending to be preppy shopaholic city girls. All while getting to see the sights with the eldest of our group being the tour guide. Then head off to college ready to start our next step in life. We drove in an older minivan that could seat the nine of us. Chatting, laughing, screaming, crying, yelling, and most of all singing our way from a small town east of Yellowstone a couple hundred miles to California. Nothing could go wrong, we had told ourselves and each other. We’re all together ready to take on the great big world of adulthood. 

We were oh so wrong. 

We had left the hotel that slightly brisk summer day, with smiles on our faces as we went to the nearest open book shop. We had a good deal of fun skimming the newer books, laughing at the clichés we were finding. Werewolf men and drama queens, fighting over some poor nerd who wasn’t even interested. Ha! 

 Now that I think about it, she didn’t laugh as loudly that day as she normally would. Her lips were extra red from her nervous chewing, as she walked the shelves with the books of legends bound in gold. The tales of heroes such as those were always a favorite. Her fingers had been gentle, as if she was saying goodbye to one of her art pieces. Her hair, once again cut short, hung in a messy gold curtain over her face as she looked at an antique copy of The Sword in the Stone. Her eyes had been sad. For something that I now know had yet to happen. 

After a couple more stops, Fate found us crossing a street. Sometimes I swore I could see the magic that exploded from the oldest of my friends at that moment. After it was over, she told me that she had been looking up at the sky as a butterfly flew through her vision. That she had felt the pull on her right hand as I tried to pull her out of the way. The harsh sting of the man’s magic as he tried to teleport back to his home world, to avoid the car; when he slammed into her shoulder. Sending her into the car's path. How she registered the scent of the burning breaks. Acidic in my own memory. But she stressed, that wasn’t what had her attention as her body fell asleep and her soul was ripped away to another world. No she was focused on the horror and regret in the poor woman, who was driving the cars, eyes. 

Looking back. I think she knew that this was only the catalyst. That she had seen the aliens that morning while she watched the sunrise. That she had been waiting for it. I think that she knew she was going to lose her mortal life. I think she knew she was going to die that day. 

All I can say on the matter now is that wherever she was taken, when she came back she was a hero. Even if her scars told a different story. And as her friend I had just held on to the fact that she would return because I owed her a raspberry tea.

[theladyofdeath]

Can the prompt just be Nessian living their best lives and essentially it just be fluff and smut because my heart can’t handle angst lolll. It can just be all the fluffy content we all need to get through life haha

"I hate bugs. All of them. I hate them." Nesta swatted at her arm, again, hoping to kill yet another mosquito. "Even the helpful, beautiful ones at this point. I've been bitten so many times that I think I'm just turning into one giant...bite."

Cassian chuckled as he watched her approach, arms crossed as he leaned against their van. It was an old thing, a vintage Volkswagen that Cassian had bought and refurbished for quick little camping trips, just the two of them. It was much cheaper than a camper and, in Nesta's words, much cuter.

It was a concept she was now regretting as her entire body itched.

"I told you to put on bugspray," Cassian chimed.

"I did," she snapped, itching her arm. "Didn't work."

"Then you didn't put on bugspray because if you had, you wouldn't be getting bit," Cassian shot back. "I put it on and I haven't gotten bitten once."

She frowned, stopping in front of him. "You're a pain in my ass, you know that?"

"I do," he agreed, with absolutely no hesitation. "I also know that you are a far bigger pain in my ass, so I win."

Nesta rolled her eyes, but she couldn't stop the curling of her thinned lips. She laughed quietly when she asked, "At what point did this become a competition?"

"The second you said that you've been bit a million times and I've been bit...zero times," Cassian said, grinning as his arms went around her slim waist. "I won that, too."

Nesta shook her head, her cheek falling into his chest as she looked out at the horizon. It was late July and the day had been ridiculously hot. Now, as the sun began to sink, it was finally starting to cool down.

They had never been to this spot before, but it had been recommended by Mor who used it often when she needed a day or two to get away. It was secluded, up on a hill with no one else around, a quarter of a mile from the sandy banks. From the top of their hill, they could see the vast ocean, its endless blue waters bringing its own sense of peace to the landscape.

"Wanna go for a swim before it gets dark?" Cassian asked, voice muffled from the top of her head. "Less bugs by the water."

"That's a good selling point," she confessed.

"And you get to see me without a shirt on," he added.

Nesta chuckled as she looked up at him, eyes bright. "You're never fully clothed. I'm surprised you're wearing a shirt right now."

A brow lifted. "Is that a complaint?"

"Never," she promised, and pushed off that broad chest of his to round the van. She opened the back door and climbed inside, opening her backpack to dig for her swimsuit.

She pulled out her pajamas, her hoodie, her clothing for the next day, then her socks and her underwear. With a frown, she dug a little bit deeper, pulling out her hairbrush, dry shampoo, her deodorant, her extra hair-ties, and her hat. Cassian had gotten her the ball-cap for their one year anniversary. It read, My husband is hot. She had rolled her eyes when she opened the gift.

And had worn it a million times since.

Beneath the hat, though, was the bottom of the bag and her swimsuit was nowhere to be found.

Just in case she had put it in the wrong bag, she checked Cassian's. For a man who never wore shirts, he had packed five for the two day trip. Beneath all of his clothing, however, was more disappointment.

She hopped out of the van with a huff and found Cassian lounging in a chair around the firepit he'd thrown together once they had arrived. He had the same shorts on, but his chest was bare. She assumed that meant he was ready to go.

"I forgot my swimsuit at home," she said, when he looked at her, fully clothed, with raised brows.

"Wear what you have on," he suggested.

Nesta looked down at her jean shorts and black tanktop. She scrunched her nose. "I hate wet clothes."

"Then go naked," he said, perfectly amused by the thought, judging by his tone.

Nesta snorted. "I'm not going naked. Not everyone needs to see every inch of me."

Cassian rolled his eyes as he stood. "We're in the mountains. There's maybe five people in the area. Most of them are fishermen. It'll probably be good for them to see some ass."

Nesta punched him in the shoulder as he stopped in front of her, and he only laughed, tugging her closer to him by her waist.

"Fine," he went on, pressing his body up against hers. "Go in your underwear. Covers as much."

Nesta leaned back to meet his bright gaze. "I'm afraid my underwear doesn't leave much to the imagination today."

"No?" he asked, hugging her tighter. "Now I'm intrigued."

"As if you've never seen it before," she said, voice dropping low. She knew that look in his eye, knew what it meant, what he was thinking, when that light turned a shade darker.

"And yet, every time feels like the first time," he muttered and leaned down to kiss her.

Nesta's head fell back, though, as she laughed. Cassian's mouth caught her chin. "I don't know how you ever got women before me with lines like that."

Cassian's grin widened as he said, "Oh, they laughed. I'm very charming." Nesta's hands went up his arms and around his neck. "Doesn't matter, though. Every woman before you was a waste of time, anyways."

Nesta's eyes softened as she leaned up on her toes and kissed him, slowly. As cheesy as it was when he said it, Nesta knew the feeling all too well. Every time she looked at Cassian, her heart still went wild. When she kissed him, when they made love, it was never dull, even after being together for nearly a decade. He was her one, her only. Even now, when they touched, it felt like the very first time. Butterflies and all.

Cassian picked her up, guiding her legs around his waist, and carried her towards the van. "Swimming be damned," he muttered, against her lips. "I'm much more interested in this scandalous underwear of yours."

"You would be," Nesta said, not that she was complaining while she held onto him tightly as he crawled into the back of the van, over the mountain of blankets and pillows he had laid out that morning.

Her back hit the pillows and Cassian wasted no time as his mouth found hers. His tongue swept across the seam of her lips and she allowed him in, just as she always did. He still grunted in approval, his body falling onto hers as his hand tangled into her loose, golden-brown hair. She sucked his bottom lip between her teeth as she rolled them over, the van swaying with them as she mounted his waist.

With rough, calloused hands, Cassian ran his palms beneath her tanktop and up her sides until her black-laced covered breasts were on full display. The bra had no support, was scarcely more than a scrap with some wire. Cassian traced the outline of it with his fingertips.

Nesta's underwear was no better, the thong barely covering what it was meant to. She had been right. If a fisherman caught her in those, he would no longer be paying attention to what was beneath the water. Cassian, though, was allowed to be distracted by it for he was wholly hers.

It seemed he liked it a little too much, though, considering he asked her to leave it on while he made love to her, ardently, well into the night.

[tteokdoroki]

— “PANTY THIEF + BAKUGOU.”

author’s note(s): inspired by this fanart and everyone being horny on THE DASH !! dedicated to @honeykeigo n @lady-bakuhoe for enabling my horny behaviour ok ok. also this turned out longer than i expected so ,,, have fun?

warning(s): mdni, 18+, smut, dubcon, mentions of drinking, uhh sniffed and stolen panties, slight!exhibitionism, power play dynamics, fingering, pussy slaps uwu, fem!reader + pro hero!bakugou.

“y-you uh, you don’t haf’ta do this mishta—?“

“dynamight.”

“r-right, dy-ma-might!”

katsuki had rolled his eyes the first time you spoke to him, a sweet, darling little girl too drunk on whatever shitty alcohol you’d been served at the bar on friday night. you obviously didn’t drink much, maybe even drunk too much— the hero would tell by the way your eyes crossed with your legs as you walked and the fact that you couldn’t remember the right way to spell your own name and it was clear your friends were a bunch of assholes for abandoning their shit faced friend to find her own way home.

he hated, this part of the job but he’d have felt bad if the guy following you home had done something bad to you and besides— the way you pressed yourself to the explosive hero, breasts spilling out of your tight black dress, thick and juicy thighs exposed to the fresh night air makes the whole ordeal worth it. oh you’re so cute, got katsuki’s cock stirring in his pants— his baggy hero costume suddenly becoming way too fucking tight for his liking. you’ll pay him back, he knows that you will, all of his fans do in some way or another.

you’ll be special though, if the smell of your saccharine cunt is anything to go by. slick dripping down your shaky thighs while he guides you down the empty street, and of course you’d be attracted to him. bakugou will have to indulge in you; his reward for being such a gentleman, for being your hero. “this ish me,” you squeak when the pair of you arrive at the door to your apartment complex. your words are smooshed together by your own drunken haze while you unlock the door to let yourself in.

how rude of you, forgetting all about dynamight who’d basically saved your life tonight. without much of a fight, bakugou pushes you against the door, effectively keeping it closed, his eyes cloud over— a storm thick with lust as you look up at him so innocently he could break. “not gonna invite me up, sweet stuff?” he coos, amused at the shiver that runs laps down the base of your spine. your thighs jump apart only just, giving the hero an opportunity to shove his hand up your dress to cup your sweet little cunt.

“i— i didn’t know—“ your mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, confusion etched so prettily across your face it makes bakugou want to bend you over and fill your hole to the brim. he’d save that for later though. “didn’t think you’d want to—“

the blonde growls, thick fingers easily finding your panties under that short dress of yours. the black lace is soaked to the bone, a sticky mess spreading across the digits that now pinch at your puffy clit. you jump and bakugou growls hungrily. “s’awfully rude don’cha think, sweet stuff? that’s okay though, i think you can reward me right fuckin’ here, don’chu?” a toothy smirk tugs at the hero’s lips when you dumbly nod in agreement, your body trembling from a mix of cold, neediness and excitement. “atta girl, spread those needy fuckin’ thighs for me then.”

you seem to have sobered up quickly, listening well for the hero that saved you and part your meaty thighs to let bakugou push your panties to the side and give him more access to your runny cunny. “p-please dynamight, d-do somethin,” comes your whiney voice as he lowers his to get a better view of your spread your pussy lips; he watches as your hole oozes just for him, desperate to filled and fucked. it’s too early for his cock, he needs to give you a taste of something else before you get drunk on him.

without warning, he pushes two of his expert fingers past your puckering entrance, immediately curling them in a come hither motion as his heated red eyes flicker up to watch your face. your ruby painted lips hang open in a silent moan while your fingers dig into bakugou’s shoulders so hard your nails form tears in his hero suit. “fuckin’ look atcha baby, barely even touched ya ‘n you’re already suckin’ down my fingers so greedily.” he snarls, sharp teeth coming down on your barley clothed breast.

bakugou’s thumb massages rough circles into your clit, pulling more honeyed cries from your lips as your eyes screw shut. “f-fuck, dynamight, need more of your touch, ‘m begging you please!” is all you can say, mindlessly babbling as you fail to keep yourself up right. the explosive pro hero steadies you with an arm wrapped around your waist, fingers curling again to explore more of your velvet walls.

“it’s katsuki, to you,” he barks out, using the arm around your waist to smack your sloppy cunt, the wet sound echoing across the street. “needy little thing, beggin’ me like this, who am i to deny your wishes?” bakugou grins, mercilessly scissoring his digits into your tight heat to stretch you wide open for him. he can’t believe his luck, the way you’re so pliant and responsive to him and him alone.

it’s too soon for him to be this addicted to your cute moans filling the crisp air but he can’t help himself, not when you clamp around his scarred fingers with every pump of them into your silken heat. not with the way your own fingers now curl in sun kissed blonde hair— pulling the hero upwards to suck on his bottom lip, followed by his tongue.

you cry out, the most beautiful sound katsuki’s every heard in all twenty years of living when his fingers press down hard on that gummy pleasure spot inside you, and like the good girl you are for him, you keep your shaky thighs open for him. “you’re such a good fuckin’ doll, letting me finger you out in the open like this, anyone could see us but you wouldn’t care, not when you’re creamin’ your panties for dynamight, right sweet thing?” bakugou’s lewd words go straight to your cunt, entangled with the squelching noises as he moves within you.

“yes! yes! wouldn’t care, don’ care...j-jus wanna cum for you, s-suki—fuck, please—“ you mewl into the night, doe eyes shimmering with tears as the knot in your lower tummy gets tighter and tighter until you can’t bare it anymore.

bakugou grins, curling his fingers once more to send you hurtling off of the edge. he can’t stop thinking about how soaked your little lace panties must be, about all the things he’s going to do with them once he gets them off of you.

“cum.” your pussy follows his orders for you, white flashing behind your eyes as a scream rips in your throat and shoots out into the quiet night. the knot in your stomach snaps, release splashing out against bakugou’s hand and hero suit— he makes you cum so hard you almost black out, a twitching mess in the hero’s arms.

when you finally come to, bakugou’s slurping your nectar off of his fingers, head cocked to the side as you shakily look up at him. “i, uh...t-thank you!” you breathe, blinking away the buzzing noise in the back of your head. “for...uh...”

you’re so cute, flushed with heat and slick dripping from between your legs. you obviously think that was a one time thing, but bakugou hasn’t finished cashing in his reward. the hero shakes his head, using a thumb and forefinger to tilt your own up to meet his ruby gaze. “give me your phone and take off your panties.” he orders, voice authoritative and never wavering— you’re confused, but don’t question him, just as a good girl should.

rooting around in your now discarded purse, you pull out and unlock your going for katsuki, who busies himself with your contacts. embarrassment crawls up your spine when you reach for your underwear, still wet with your arousal and release, you look to bakugou hesitantly. “do i have to—?”

“off.” he grunts, barely looking up from your device as you shimmy out of the lace garment and hand it to him. bakugou gives you the same evil smirk from earlier while you collect yourself against the door, sniffing the flimsily, wet material before shoving them into the pocket of his pants. his cock is hard as a fucking rock, but he’ll be able to deal with it appropriately after his patrol. “i’ll be keeping these. this is where we say g’night sweet stuff.”

the way you curl in on yourself, perhaps a bit humiliated at the idea of your panties being taken by the number two pro hero is adorable, and if he didn’t have patrol, katsuki would have eaten you up right then and there. “goodnight dynamight— i mean, k-katsuki, thank you for everything and h-have a safe night.” you squeak out quickly, moving to open the door again.

“not a problem, honey,” bakugou whispers with a lowered voice, pulling you in to swipe his tongue across your bottom lip, shoving his tongue down your throat in a kiss goodnight. “now get your cute ass upstairs, don’ want anyone to see your leaky cunt like this. that’s fuckin’ mine.”

you do as you’re told, bidding the hero one last farewell before dashing up the steps and into your apartment. your heart and mind race a thousand miles a minute, crazed with the fact that you had just been fingered to the best fucking orgasm of your life by the number two pro hero. you have to force yourself to shower, mapping out all of the spots that bakugou had touched you and growing giddy at the small burn marks he’d left against the inner workings of your thighs.

that night, or rather, early morning— you settle into the sheets, mind still plagued with thoughts of katsuki bakugou, when your phone pings with a text.

to: yn.

from: unknown.

— never got your name sweet stuff, care to tell me who’s name i’ll be moaning tonight?

( one attachment ).

your heartbeat thunders in your ears, familiar warm pooling between your legs yet again as you open the image— knowing that there can be only one person that it’s from. a quiet moan slips past your lips as the picture loads to reveal bakugou in your very same black lace panties from earlier— the slick from your release pressed up against his barely covered cock, while he jerks himself off, precum oozing from his blistering red tip.

you exhale, typing back your name and hitting send— thanking whatever higher power that lead katsuki bakugou to steal your fucking panties.

[rafescoke]

Brother’s Best Friend ; Rafe Cameron

masterlist

Request: heyy I’ve recently found your account and I just felt in love with the way you write and with your works so I was wondering if you could write a fic where the reader is Kelce’s sister, she’s sitting alone at home and suddenly she hears a doorbell ringing, she comes to open the door and that’s Rafe and she says something like “Kelce’s not home” or smth like that and Rafe answers “I actually came to see you” or smth like that. It can be smut or fluff or whatever I don’t really care. Sorry if this is chaotic but I just want the reader to be black and I have bad ideas lmao 😭 sending love ❤️❤️

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Fooling around with your best friend's sister is not a good sign, especially when it involves something more than skinny dipping and drinking alcohol together.

Warnings: Slight smut, mentions of drinking, slight angst, teasing Rafe Cameron

A/N: I'm so close to 700 followers wtf y'all are truly amazing ily! I'm finishing all requests in my inbox for the new few days; thank you to those who put their trust in me to write their ideas <33

(Y/N) could never deny the attraction she felt towards a certain brunette boy with that charming smile.

The feeling evolved for the first time when he came over to her house to see Kelce. He was so polite to her; giving her a turn on passing the ball and scolding Kelce and Topper for not wanting to give her a chance at playing basketball in the swimming pool.

But she was only 8 back then, and she regarded the feeling as nothing more than a silly crush.

Rafe Cameron changed when he entered high school. (Y/N) couldn't explain what was wrong, but he was not her Rafe anymore. He didn't hold the door for her, scold Kelce for making fun of her or do anything that used to make her heart soar.

Her thoughts were disrupted when a fresh blue towel hit her squarely on the face, causing her to yelp in shock.

"Do you wanna come down to the lake with us?"

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, pulling the towel to her side, and closed her magazine with a snap. Her eyes fell back to the three guys, lingering on the tallest one a little bit too long.

She cleared her throat, "No, I'm tired."

Kelce shrugged, walking towards the entrance of their home from the swimming pool. He didn't feel like having (Y/N) around anyways, because that would mean he would have to protect her from his friends.

Kelce loved his friends, of course, but he also knew the other side of them that uses girls like Kleenex tissue only to throw them away again.

"On a second thought-" (Y/N) said, stopping the three boys from entering the big house. "I think I'll go."

"You sure?" Kelce asked. God. Now he would have to play the big-brother stimulator for the whole night.

The night sky was dark, and the only light came from the moonlight up above and sometimes from the flashlight of each other's phone. Boozes laid messily on the wooden deck and their clothes were discarded all over the place.

Not one person was sober, and they were all laughing to a joke by Topper.

"Okay, okay, last one-" Topper said excitedly. He shivered, and (Y/N) thought about it as a response towards the cold lake water or the excited nerves of sharing another stupid joke. "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"Easy. To get to the other side," Rafe answered proudly. A beer drop slid down from his lips to his chin, and (Y/N) felt a strong desire to lick it.

"Wrong."

"Okay, fine, I don't know."

Topper smiled widely, and (Y/N) could see this joke coming from a few miles away. "To get to the loser's house. Knock knock."

Rafe pulled a face, his eyebrows raised. "Who's there?"

"The chicken."

Kelce and Topper's laugh filled the silence around them, and (Y/N) found herself slightly smiling at the joke. Rafe groaned, finally understanding the joke and being angry at himself for willingly taking the bait.

"Okay, okay. The joke's over."

Kelce laughed again before taking a full swig of another beer bottle. He stared at the sky, and let out a loud huff.

"Wish we can go up there."

"Me too, man," Topper agreed. He joined Kelce by staring up at the dark sky, both clearly high out of their minds.

"Do you want to?"

(Y/N) looked to her side, not noticing Rafe who had moved from his previous position near Topper to beside her. She quirked her head to one side, her face questioning.

"Go up to the sky," he explained. He watched as she looked up to the sky, her mouth slightly parting. Her chest heaved peacefully, and her wet body donning the lilac bikini never looked so beautiful and perfect.

"Nah. I'm too scared."

"Even when I'll go with you?" he smiled. (Y/N) rolled her eyes, though her heart was soaring brightly; she would never feel scared anymore if he were to be around her all the time.

"Yeah. Even when you’ll go with me. Besides, it's not possible."

"Let people enjoy things," he said, and he was so close to her now because she could smell the coffee mint from his breath. Her heart was beating wildly, though this would be the ten-thousandth time he did this to her.

It never failed to leave her completely breathless.

"You're drooling," he whispered, and used his thumb to wipe her wet lips from the beer. Her breath hitched, and she couldn't utter any words back. She was too mesmerised with the whole situation.

His fingers stopped at her chin, looking into her eyes, and he was petrified too. He leaned in, but before anything could happen, (Y/N) moved away. He cleared his throat, and swam back to the deck.

‘I’m drunk’ was repeated by him all the way to the the place he threw his clothes off, shaking his head at the thought that he was so close to kissing her. He looked back to her direction in the lake, still staring at him. He focused back on the ties of his shorts, and made his way back to the Kelce’s house.

He ignored his best friends calls.

. . .

(Y/N) never really liked school, but she loved the after-activity that she got herself in.

Like cheerleading.

She used to think of the sport as something quirky, but in truth, once she was accepted into the school’s cheerleading team, she had never been more into a sport than before.

She walked down the field to the other side of the track where the other girls were waiting for her. Her training skirt flew slightly from the wind, and she was trying to hold them down all while carrying the water bottle and a duffle bag.

She exchanged a few greetings with her other friends, putting down her duffle bag and her water bottle. The sun was scorching hot, and all she felt like was eating ice cream inside of their boat whilst streaming down the lake, but the last time she had ditched cheer practice, it hadn’t ended well.

“Uh-oh,” someone exclaimed behind her. “Big bro is coming.”

(Y/N) looked up to the field, and sure enough Kelce was running towards her in his jersey. (Y/N) sighed, not knowing what she did now that could earn her a lecture from Kelce.

“Hey, I’m bringing a girl home after practice,” he said. “Would you mind getting a ride with someone else?”

She groaned, “Fuck, Kelce, no. You can tell your new scandal to fuck off because I am not getting an Uber to walk back to home.”

“Look, please? You can ask your friends to give you a ride, right? It’s important,” he begged. His eyes were scanning her friends now, obviously trying to find someone who could help his sister, and when he found one, his smile quirked upwards. “Yo, Sarah! Can you drive (Y/N) home after practice?”

Sarah walked towards them, her blonde hair up in a ponytail. She slung her arms around (Y/N)’s shoulders, noting the exasperated expression on her face, and gave Kelce a glare.

“You should let her drive a car if you’re going to bring a girl home after school,” she said. Kelce groaned, knowing the amount of shit he will be getting from the people around him, but he was truly trying to make it right for this new girl.

“Look, I’ll buy y’all anything for a week. Food? Sure. Clothes? Sure.”

Sarah clapped her hands, seemingly excited, and forced (Y/N) to say yes. She wouldn’t mind driving (Y/N) home, because she wanted to catch up with her about some gossip too.

“Fine. But I’m driving my own car tomorrow.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” was all he said before he jogged down to the soccer team.

That evening was hell to (Y/N). She couldn’t get the formation right, the sun was getting hotter and hotter, her hair was sticking out weirdly, and worst of all, she couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday’s event.

He was so, so close to her.

“(Y/N), come on! What’s gotten into you? The top part, again!” The coach yelled, slapping her hands against her lap. There were sweat forming on her forehead, and she was obviously hot and bothered from this whole situation.

But sport was sport. The coach wasn’t going to let today’s training to waste, and she intended for the new number to work.

(Y/N) muttered a soft ‘sorry’ before going back to her position, her heart still thumping at the thought. The cheer started, and her mouth was saying the words, but her brain was somewhere else.

The two guys by her side picked her up by her calf, and she felt the wind gushing out from beside her ears. She was high up in the sky now, throwing one arm upwards and balancing herself on one leg, and it was finally time now, to twirl into the two boys’ arms, but she wasn’t ready. Her mouth didn’t utter any words from the cheer, too focused on the step, and before she could jump back into their arms, she felt herself slipping.

“(Y/N)!” The coach yelled, running towards her by the track. Sarah and the other teammates were surrounding her now, watching as she groaned on the ground painfully, holding onto her arms.

“Okay, I take that as the end of today’s training,” the coach said, sighing. “(Y/N), are you okay? Can you walk?”

(Y/N) held her thumbs up, because she had worse injury than this before. Hell, the boxing fight she used to have with Kelce in their childhood was more painful. She sat up from the track, feeling the heat of the ground burning on her bottoms, and stretched her fingers. The pain coursed through her veins at the feeling, but kinda liked it.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” Sarah said, helping her up. She groaned when she finally stood on her two feet, feeling so painful all she wanted to do was lay back on the track, but she knew she had to go home.

She allowed Sarah helping her limp towards a black Mercedes, her eyes closed the whole time.

Okay, scratch the fight with Kelce. This one was more painful than ever.

“Can I stay at your house?” She blurted when Sarah drove out of the school gate. “I don’t feel like listening to my mom’s lecture about my leg.”

Sarah glanced at her from the rearview mirror, watching as she spread her leg out the whole backseat. The ice bag someone had gotten her was pressed against her calf, and she was sweating from the heat and trying to contain the pain.

“Yes, of course, that would be better,” Sarah said. She had other plans that evening, but helping (Y/N) overstepped all of them.

“So what’s up with you and John B?”

Sarah turned to look at her fully on her face, furrowing her eyebrows. “What do you know about John B?”

(Y/N) laughed, “The light’s green.” Just on cue, the car behind them horned at Sarah, and she quickly pushed on the pedal.

“How do you know about John B?” Sarah asked, biting her lips. If (Y/N) could find out, she couldn’t imagine what would Rafe do if he finds out.

“God, don’t be worried. I’m not going to tell anyone about this, okay? Just relax. I think it’s cute.”

Sarah’s worried expression softened, “You think so?”

“Yeah. At least you got to be with whoever you want. Some people can’t have that.”

Like her. Kelce would kill her and dump her body in the ocean for the sharks if he ever finds out how much she likes Rafe.

“You’ll find the one soon. How about that guy in your maths class?” The car turned to the right, nearing the destination.

“No. I’m not looking for anyone.”

There’s only one, but Sarah won’t like the answer.

The time was 8.23p.m. now, and (Y/N) had been in Sarah’s room for a total of 3 hours. After catching up on new gossips, watched a movie, did her English essay, she felt extremely dehydrated.

Sarah was sleeping peacefully beside her, being so tired after the practice and school, and (Y/N) didn’t feel like waking her up. She have been to The Camerons household, but that was only for Sarah’s birthday party a few years back.

She sighed, getting up from the bed to find the kitchen. The house was like a maze, and she wished they had some kind of a map to browse through.

Alas, she found the kitchen, her muscles screaming from all the wrong turns she took before. She knew where the plastic cups and plates were situated, having to help Sarah get them during her birthday party, so she didn’t have any trouble getting some.

She drank the cold water quickly, feeling the liquid sloshing down her throat. The feeling was so, so good that she wished she could go through it again.

“I do not know where your sister is, Kelce,” a voice sighed not far from the kitchen. “I told you you shouldn’t bring that girl home and just drive (Y/N) home yourself.”

The voice, unmistakably Rafe, was getting nearer and nearer. (Y/N)’s eyes widened, trying to find an empty space to hide in, but there were none. She panicked, still looking for a way out that she didn’t notice the tall figure behind her.

“Oh. Found you.”

His hair was dishevelled and wet, his chest heaving and he was shirtless.

What a nice way to bump onto each other.

“Take a picture,” he started, shutting his phone off and placing them in his shorts. “It’ll last longer that way.”

Now we’re talking about the new Rafe.

(Y/N) scoffed, pushing him away and making a disgusted face at his sweat sticking on her arms. “I’m here for Sarah.”

“Why? Did she die or something?”

God. He really is insufferable.

She made to push him away to return to Sarah’s room, only for him to grab her by her waist.

“Move.” Her tone was stern, but her stomach was flipping wildly. She tried to not look so bothered, but failed miserably.

Rafe seemed to notice her behaviour because he didn’t let go of her. “Come on, where’s the fun in that?”

She was on the same level as his neck now, and he could still smell his expensive cologne even after he swam in the swimming pool. She sighed, placing her hands against his chest.

“Move.”

Rafe laughed, putting his hands up in defeat, and went to grab the same glass she was drinking from. He refilled the glass and downed the content, and (Y/N) had to look away from the innocent move.

Maybe he was just saving water by not using a different cup.

“Do you need help to return to Sarah’s room or something?”

“No, I’m fine,” she refused, and made sure he could see her fake annoyed expression before she returned to the hall she came from. But there were 2 halls now, and she completely forgot which one she had been before.

“Really?” Rafe stood beside her, and she looked up to his amused face. “Because you’re in the wrong hall. It’s the other exit of the kitchen, darling.”

. . .

Why couldn’t she not see his face every single day?

It was truly troubling her, to see that boy everyday, because she couldn’t think properly every time.

The lights from the stadium blared widely, and the deafening screaming coming from both teams’ supporters rang throughout the whole field. (Y/N) was sure the whole island could hear them too.

Two things happened earlier than evening. Number one, her skirt wasn’t completely dried after being sent off to the laundry for a week, and her hair wasn’t just cooperating.

So here she was; in a shorter uniform skirt, her hair hung up into a ponytail with lots of hairspray. She wished for nothing but to be all cuddled up with her blanket in her room.

“You’re okay?” Sarah asked. She fixed (Y/N)’s lips gently, getting the lipstick and lipliner even, and gave her a kiss on the cheeks. “Don’t worry about the skirt. It looks normal.”

For a little girl.

(Y/N) sighed and involuntarily pulled down the hem of her skirt. Ten minutes from the game now, and she was nervous she would flash everyone on the school compound.

In the locker room, Rafe was sitting right next to Kelce as his best friend prayed for a win tonight. He was never that religious, and he didn’t feel the need to mutter a prayer to anyone. But tonight, he listened intently to whatever Kelce was saying because he needed to win this cup more than anything in the world.

“You’re okay?” The coach asked, patting him on the shoulder.

“Yeah. Just nervous.”

“Don’t be, you’re the Star Player. Right?”

The Star Player.

Rafe gave him a smile, and went back to his praying.

When he first entered the field to meet the rival team, his eyes couldn’t help but scanned the bleachers to find his dad. Ward wasn’t there, but Rose and Wheezie were cheering for him.

Of course.

He sighed, and went straight to the middle of the field. It’s funny how everyone was there to support him, Rafe, the Star Player, the jock, the whatever else people were saying about him.

He just wanted Ward to see him.

“Come on, man, it’s fine,” Topper said, patting his back. “He’ll come later.”

Even his friends could see how miserable he was feeling.

The first match of the game went smoothly; he scored a try goal, everyone was cheering loudly, but it was just then that one of the opponents came knocking Rafe by his side.

Rafe fell to the ground with a loud thud, earning so many gasps from the stand.

“What the fuck?!” Topper pushed whoever responsible for his fall, and the sound of a whistle rang throughout the air. “He pushed him for nothing! You saw it, fuck!”

Rafe groaned on the ground, clutching onto his arms, and he tried to spread his fingers, but couldn’t. His other teammates were surrounding him now, trying to get a good look of him, all while Topper and Kelce and another friend of his went off to the referee.

Rafe put his other hand up, trying to sit up. “I’m fine, I’m fine! Move!”

The other members scattered away, sighing in relief when Rafe came back to his legs. The referee, still getting yelled at by Topper, shook his head at something he said, and before anyone could process what happened, Topper tackled the opponent who had pushed Rafe down to the ground.

Kelce pulled Topper away after a few long seconds, telling him to stop. But one thing about Topper is that he just won’t stop.

“Stupid fuck!” He yelled, throwing another punch.

“Topper, stop, they’re going to throw you off the field!” Kelce yelled. Finally, he separated them away after the opponent’s friend pulled his injured friend away.

The referee, expectedly, pulled a red card to Topper, earning a groan coming from their coach and the stand. Rafe cursed, knowing that Topper’s one of their strongest member. He watched as Topper tried to argue with the referee, but it was no use.

“It’s okay,” Kelce said, patting his back as he made his way back to the bench. “Relax, bro, okay?” Topper calmed down after the coach said something to him, but Rafe could clearly see the distress written on his face.

“You’re okay?” Kelce asked, pointing to his arms.

Rafe could move his muscles now though he could feel the sharp pain from doing so. But he was too content on winning this game.

(Y/N) watched as the second match unfold, her teeth biting into her lips in fear. She didn’t feel like having the next week full of gloomy students and disappointed teachers, so she wanted the cup as much as everyone else.

Rafe was fast, throwing the ball smoothly back and forth with Kelce and his other friends, but it was apparent that the Star Player wasn’t feeling like himself.

It might be the arm, or the fact that Ward Cameron was too busy with his work to see his son playing.

37 minutes had passed, and the other team was leading. They only had 3 minutes left, and with the team being so drained out and their captain with a broken arm, it was clear who was winning.

The whistle blared through the field again, noting the end of the match. As the other team supporters cheered happily the other side of the stands muttered silently to each other about the game.

(Y/N) watched as Rafe yelled something at his teammates angrily before storming off to the locker room. He winced in pain, holding his arm for support, and ignored every calls from his friends as he made his way to the empty room.

Looking around quickly, she muttered a ‘be right back’ to Sarah, and quickly followed Rafe into the locker room. She wanted to see if he was okay, and if he needed help with his arm.

In truth, she just wanted to be there for him.

“Hey,” she slowly said, and Rafe’s head perked up to see her before he looked down to the ground again.

“What do you want?”

She felt a struck of pain across her heart at his tone, but decided against it. “Are you okay?”

“Fine. You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I was just trying to see if you need anything,” she said, and when his eyes finally looked up to her again, she unconsciously pulled her skirt down again.

“Yeah? I don’t need anything. Go!”

“Wow, you’re a dick,” she scoffed, and before Rafe could mutter anything back, she exited the locker room and straight to the cheer team. She felt a mixture of anger and embarrassment all at once, because God, Rafe Cameron did not just yell at her for trying to be nice.

She should’ve known better than to be ‘nice’ to him. He wasn’t the same 8 year old she met 10 years ago.

. . .

A week had passed from the game, and everything went back to normal.

Except for one person.

Rafe didn’t come to school the next Monday, not that (Y/N) wanted to see him after getting yelled at, but she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

He didn’t just broke his arm; his father also chose not to attend his game.

It was finally Friday, and (Y/N) was too happy to stay home and continue watching Love Island. Life is better when you are focused on someone else’s relationship other than yours.

She was rolling in her bed, casually smiling at the cheesy joke made by one of the contestant, and before she could hear the reply towards the joke, the doorbell blared throughout the house.

(Y/N) groaned, thinking how Kelce must’ve forgotten his keys again, and waited a few more minutes so that he would just leave her alone and go to that stupid prick, Rafe Cameron’s house.

But the doorbell rang again, and she had no choice but to open the door. She was all alone in the big house, having both her parents still working and her maids having the day off.

But when she opened the door, the boy standing before her was the last person she wanted to see.

“Hi,” Rafe said.

“Kelce’s not here,” she mumbled, and pushed the door close. Rafe’s quickly put his hands to block the door from closing, and (Y/N) pulled away after deciding not to crush his other only working hands.

“What?” She asked, in the same tone that he had given her in the locker room. She felt good when his eyebrows were raised.

“I’m here for you.”

“Why? Did I die or something?” Bingo.

“God, you’re impossible,” Rafe sighed. “Can I talk to you? Just us two?”

(Y/N) sighed, wanting to get this done, and opened the door wider to grant him into her home. (Y/N) closed the door and pressed her back against it, crossing her arms.

“Okay. Talk.”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” He said. “I was just so angry with everything. I was pushed and Topper received a red card because of me—”

“You didn’t do anything, Rafe.”

“Yeah, but he was just trying to protect me. And, and I was just so mad at myself because I couldn’t play properly like I usually play. I’m so sorry for yelling at you. I didn’t mean it.”

(Y/N) sighed, “It’s okay. I’m over it.”

“Really?” He stepped closer, and this time, (Y/N) allowed him. “Thank you so much!”

He pulled her into a crushing hug, and before she could put her mind into it, he lifted her up and spin her around.

“Okay, okay, now you’re just pushing it,” she groaned, hitting him on his chest. “Put me down, Rafe, I swear to god.”

Rafe put her down, his face shining happily. They were close again, like that time in the lake, and (Y/N) didn’t feel like pushing him away again.

Because maybe, that 8 year old him was somewhere in there.

“Uh—” he looked away, scratching the back of his head. “Do you wanna. . . watch Netflix?”

(Y/N) cleared her throat, “I was watching Love Island. Wanna watch with me?”

Rafe nodded, anything to get closer with this girl, and followed her upstairs to her room. The first time he entered her room was 9 years ago, and it was only because Topper and Kelce had pranked him into thinking that her room was the gaming room.

“What are you doing?” The girl before him yelled, and before he could explain how he was lied to, she threw a pink hairbrush at him. He groaned from the pain, rubbing his head.

“I’m sorry, I thought this was the gaming room!”

“Out!” She yelled, and he quickly obliged.

Her room was still pink, but it was now filled with so many books, clothes and makeups instead of the dollhouse and toys he saw a few years ago.

“Is this the pink hairbrush you threw at me?” He laughed, holding the pink tool. (Y/N) snatched the hairbrush, embarrassed, and quickly stuffed them into the drawers.

He placed himself beside her on her bed, watching her as she resumed the video. He focused on the show, trying to find at least something interesting from the show, but there was nothing.

2 episodes later, he was too into the show that he pressed on the stop button before they could continue on the next episode.

“I wish they would just communicate,” he said. “Like the whole show’s pointless. They didn’t try to talk to each other about their problems.”

“Yeah, that’s what makes the show interesting, Rafe,” she said as if that was a fact, “And besides, if they communicate, everyone will win the show.”

“Then that’s just good. A win-win situation.”

“You don’t get it,” she groaned, looking into his face. “There’s no use in fighting with you about this.”

She pressed on the resume button again, and instantly, Rafe pressed on the stop button.

“Rafe, I will—”

“You still haven’t apologised for throwing the hairbrush at me.”

She widened her eyes, “That was 9 years ago.”

“And?”

“Fine,” she placed her laptop aside, and turned to fully look him in the face. “Sorry.”

“Not sincere enough.”

She groaned, “Rafe, I am terribly sorry for throwing my pink hairbrush at you. I am so sorry that it hit your face and be the reason why you’re still holding vengeance at someone.”

“I’m not talking about that kind of sorry.”

“Fuck, you’re annoying,” she said. “I’m not going to bow down to you or anything.”

“Just a kiss.”

She looked at him back, her heart stopping at his words. “No.”

“Why?”

“Why? Because you’re Rafe?”

“Rafe? Okay, fine. I’m not Rafe. I’m Rafael.”

“Okay, it’s still a no. You’re Kelce’s best friend.”

“Didn’t you kiss Topper last year?”

“That was a dare—” she sighed. “And it didn’t mean anything.”

“Exactly. This won’t mean anything. This is just a sorry.”

It would mean everything to her to place her lips against his.

“This is sexual harassment.”

“Not if you want it too,” he said, and leaned closer to her. “And you do want it, right? I can see it in your eyes.”

She didn’t know why God would put her and Rafe in this damn position over and over again, because it wasn’t helping her to get over him.

She looked down to his lips, and how it was so inviting, and she wanted more than anything to kiss him, to finally give herself to him, but she was afraid.

“Rafe—”

“Shut up,” he cut her off, and pressed himself against her. Their kiss was slow and passionate, none like neither (Y/N) or Rafe had experienced before. Her hands found themselves wrapping around Rafe’s neck, pulling him closer.

He pulled away, grinning. “I thought you didn’t want this.”

“Shut up.” She rolled her eyes, and pulled him in for another kiss again.

He pushed her down onto the bed gently, still kissing her, and his hands were roaming down her body. She was so, so perfect and every time he saw her, he would have to look away to stop the unwanted thoughts forming in his head.

During the game last Friday, he had to pinch himself from staring at her legs in that goddamn skirt for too long.

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” he whispered, and she hummed in response before pushing him over so she could take control. She sat on top of him, grinning widely. She was in heaven; seeing him all worked up under her with his chest heaving.

“You would be surprised at the amount of times I imagined myself on top of you like this,” she said, placing her hands flat on top of his chest.

Rafe grinned back, trying to contain his feelings. “Yeah? Wanna show what else you’ve been imagining?”

She leaned closer, making sure to brush her bottom against him and hearing his soft groans. She placed a soft kiss against his cheek, and whispered into his ear.

“Would rather have you show what you’ve been dreaming of me.”

Rafe licked his lips, loving this side of her, and he wanted more than anything to make her his. She looked so innocent sitting there on top of him, smiling and biting her lips.

Before he could touch her in ways he never did to a girl before, a voice rang from outside the room.

“(Y/N)? Have you seen Rafe? I saw his car outside,” the voice said. After a few seconds of silence, he sighed. “You’re okay? I’m coming in, okay?”

“No, no, wait!” (Y/N) shouted, scrambling from her position on top of Rafe as he quickly pulled her up, but it was too late.

Kelce saw them in the midst of trying to get away, with his sister’s leg on one side of his best friend and his best friend’s hands still around his sister’s waist.

“What. The. Fuck.”

-

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