#my baby boooooooy

[koraesrambles]

Batman #138

Just kill me now. Throw me into the sun. Rip out my insides. Any of that would be less painful than this panel. I want to die. I want to hug a huge murder man. I want to cry. I want Dick to show up and hug this huge murder man. Someone save him. Someone help him. THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.

My baby 😭

[crimson-catalyst]

SO MANY!!!!!!! thank you again imberrr i CRYYYYY

Artfight Attacks Pt.2

Aquaotter OC Jaz

Skittykittycat OC Juno

@crimson-catalyst OC Coyote

Kai_the_galaxy OC Petrichor

A dragon design for Dragonpixies

@killldeer OC Kell

Randomant OC Reno

@viperiumprime OC Sirius

@muttonmonkey OC Kingdom with my OC Nergui

And CosmicArray OC Strawberry

[dont-offend-the-bees]

All right, I gotta bite -- "Edwin + drag queens?" XD

jasdbjdafbsd oh god this one is really not in any way, shape or form even slightly written yet but it's an idea I'm very fondly turning over in my head!

I just really want to put Edwin in a situation where, on the hunt for info for a case or suchlike, he winds up in a dressing room full of queens. I want him to be perplexed by the fact that so many of them can see him, and find the sad truth about why so many of the queens over 40 have close personal experience with death. I want him finding connection and strange fellowship with this room full of extravagant peacocks. I want him being initially bewildered by the whole situation but then having that click moment of finding his people, and proceeding to delight and indulge in a bitchfest for the ages. I want him fondly adopted by a room full of bright and beautiful shameless older queers who immediately know that he's family. And I want any onlookers (Charles) to have absolutely no idea what to do with the 8.8 magnitude cuntquake that ensues when you sit Edwin Payne down with a gaggle of drag queens. I want him to enter that dressing room with a notebook and a case to solve, and leave it with 7 drag mothers, a new understanding of himself, and a standing invite to brunch.

Anyway, as I said, I don't have much actually written for this one yet but do have this one stupid joke I scribbled in my notes app xD

"Alright, girls. Detective-themed drag names for Casper the cunty ghost. Let's hear 'em." "Sherlock Ho?" "Columbimbo!" "Oh, oh oh oh – Agatha Fistie!" Edwin: "I'm not entirely sure I understand." "Where did we lose you, babes?" Edwin: "Generally speaking, in the second halves..."

WIP ask game

[skully-bones]

not my goofy ass redownloading feh bc alfonse won cyl

[im-no-jedi]

nobody freakout but I'm rewatching Aftermath for the first time in like 6 months ROFL

[cryptstress]

HES JUST A LITTLE GUYYYYY

Commission for @cryptstress!

[tiny-sugar-dove]

Sheba Sketches that I finally colored🌟

[urgeth-archive]

woof woof.

[betwixtify]

my dog sits in the most pathetic way

[ID: picture of a black pitbull mix sitting hunched over on purple couch and cheetah print blanket. /End ID]

[dragonagitator]

House MD fans: You wake up in the PPTH ER in summer 2004. What you doing?

Scenario parameters:

All your memories of the show and the past 20 years are intact.

You are stuck there/then and cannot return to our universe/year.

You have nothing but the hospital gown on your back.

Questions:

So, what do you do?

How much would you tell House?

How would you get him to believe you?

Who else would you tell?

How much would you tell them?

Inspiration:

The author self-insert isekai fanfic "Intervention" by VivatRex (aka @acrownforaking). They've been writing it for the past 11+ years and are still updating. It's already nearly 300k words long despite only being up to the events of S02E15. I AM IN AWE.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this scenario ever since I read that fanfic a month ago. I'd love to discuss it with other House MD fans and hear what you would do.

(Apologies to the mutuals for the abrupt blog topic change. A new brainrot has taken hold.)

My short answer:

My long answers are below the cut.

So, what do you do?

My primary objective would be to enlist House in averting the pandemic.

My reasoning: If anyone can nip it in the bud before it gets out of Wuhan, I figure that a world-renowned genius doctor who is an infectious diseases specialist, speaks Mandarin, and now has a 15-year head start would have the best chance.

Difficulty level: Babysitting a narcissistic manchild with the self-preservation instincts of a toddler until the year 2020 so that he makes it there then alive, out of prison, and with his sanity, medical license, and professional reputation intact. To quote Quantum Leap, "Ohhhhhh boooooooy."

Strategy: I'm in the "I could fix him, but whatever's wrong with him is way funnier" camp, so I wouldn't try to change him (that always backfires anyway). Instead, I'd try to change his circumstances:

A stable romantic relationship would help, so I'd seduce him if I can (I'm not his type but a gal's gotta shoot her shot), try to get him together with Dominika earlier if I can't, and tell him how horribly his relationship with Cuddy ended so he knows better than to even start it.

Avert the shooting. Moriaty was a patient so his info is in the PPTH files. I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS. Or for a less murdery approach, try to get him arrested in April 2006 for violating New Jersey's strict gun laws.

Warn House about Tritter so he can switch patients with another clinic doctor.

Warn House to never get on a bus with Amber.

Tell Kutner I'm from the future and he's the only one who can prevent something horrible from happening (he's a Trekkie so he'll want to believe), then unfurl my big timeline poster and point at the "Kutner suicide early 2009" stickynote and ask him "so what's up with that, dude?"

Tell Wilson everything I can remember about his cancer -- he's an oncologist and thus can work backwards from there to figure out when to start checking for it so he can cut the tumor out while it's still just a tiny baby.

I would take a harm reduction approach to House's drug use, e.g., suggest that he try microdosing psilocybin and extend his liver's lifespan by substituting cannabis for some of his Vicodin and alcohol consumption.

Methods: Even though he doesn't have one for most of the show, House mentions a few times that he's entitled to hire an assistant, and I happen to be excellent at administrative work.

I think he'd be willing to hire me because working as his executive assistant / department secretary would position me to recognize patients as they come in so that I can discreetly pass along anything I remember, e.g., the kindergarten teacher has pork worms in her brain, ask the scientist in Antarctica to show you her feet, etc.

Meanwhile, I could lurk around the hospital preventing miscellaneous shit, e.g., get the gift shop volunteer from S01E04 to go home sick, ensure that the gunman from S05E09 is promptly admitted, diagnosed, and treated before he snaps and takes hostages, etc.

Possible sidequests:

Use my foreknowlege to get rich by milking online poker bonuses until the passage of the UIGEA in 2006, use my poker money to start flipping houses until 2007, get in on the "Big Short" in 2008, and set a Google Alert for "Bitcoin" so I can start mining/buying it from day one. Unfortunately, I haven't paid enough attention to individual stocks to play the market other than knowing that Amazon would be a good long-term buy & hold.

Use my riches to change the outcome of the 2016 election and try to steer the development of the internet and society in general in a slightly less stupid direction.

Send Pete Carroll a letter postdated just before the 2013 Superbowl telling him the outcome, then suggest for the final play of the 2014 Superbowl that the Seahawks try handing the ball off to Marshawn Lynch instead of throwing it because that throw will be intercepted. PRIORITIES.

How much would you tell House? How would you get him to believe you?

Your story about being from the future of an alternate universe in which House and everyone he knows are characters on a fictional TV show is already too batshit crazy to believe even without his kneejerk "everybody lies" skepticism. How would you differentiate yourself from all the patients who pull crazy stunts to try to get him to take their case?

My answer: For the "from the future" part, I'm hoping there's some sort of test that House could run to confirm that I was indeed vaccinated with a mRNA vaccine against the COVID-19/SARS-COV-2 virus. Given that neither of those things existed in 2004, that would be physical evidence that I'm not from around here now.

If producing physical evidence isn't possible, then I know that Vegetative State Guy from S03E15 is already a patient at PPTH because he'd been there for 10 years, so I'd find him and tell House about his son. I could also tell House enough about the cases from the first few episodes that I'm pretty sure he'd believe me by Christmas. I want in on Chinese food with Wilson.

I would wait until House accepted the "from the future" part before broaching the "fictional TV show" issue. Until then, "I watched a TV show about your life and cases" is a 100% true statement and it's not my fault if he assumes that show was a documentary. :)

Once he believed me, I'd tell him everything.

Who else would you tell? How much would you tell them?

There are people out there who would literally kill for your knowledge of the future, so going public or being too open about it seems highly risky.

My answer: I'd tell House, Wilson, and Chase right away. Kutner but not before Jan 2009. Maybe eventually Cuddy and the rest of the Diagnostics team if keeping my foreknowledge of the future from them proves too difficult.

House is the only one who gets to know everything. Everyone else is on a "need to know" basis.

I might also bring Bill Arnello (the brother/lawyer of the mob informant in S01E15 "Mob Rules") into the circle of trust because he could be a very useful resource for some of my sidequests, e.g., changing the outcome of the 2016 election far far far in advance and in the most direct way possible. (Hi, Secret Service! This is a purely hypothetical discussion about time travel and not at all indicative of any real criminal intent, pls do not pay me a visit, kthxbai.)

I think the only people I would tell the "fictional TV show" part to would be House, Wilson, and Chase, because there are things I need to warn them about that definitely wouldn't have been in a documentary. Like Chase needs to know that killing Diballa is 100% the right thing to do but he seriously needs to work on his OpSec. Everyone else gets the implied documentary lie of omission.

If I get caught knowing too much by random patients, I'll just claim to be psychic. Way more people believe in that than would believe in time travel.

What would you do?

[lincolnchristie]

I REALLY am already obsessed with all of them 🙈😎 - so here's a little drawing of Frisco for you!!!!! 💛

I AM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM OH MY GOD LOOK LOOK LOOK EVERYONE IT'S MY LI'L GUY!!! IT'S MY GOLDEN RETRIEVER BOY!!! LOOK AT HIIIIIIIIM!!!

He looks so traumatized already. Eheheheheh. My poor baby. The apocalypse's specialist little princess. The only person with the brain cell in this entire group Raleigh thinks she has it but she's wrong.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DREW MY BOOOOOOOY!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!! I'M TACKLE HUGGING YOU MWAH MWAH MWAH!

[fnaftalexreader]

I'm assuming you meant my baby boi Satan, which is going to be VERY interesting... @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan

Uriel Ventris getting tortured by Satan (headcanons)

Angel, demon, or God Satan would definitely have their own ways of torturing him-

Before the Fall

Hoooooooo boooooooi

Satan as an angel was very... dense. And very VERY childish.

Time in Hell

While the torture would be unintentional, he still would look like a grown man acting like a little kid.

Look at this man, he's HUGE-

He doesn't look like it, but he's a toddler. A 15-foot toddler. And he would torture him in the same way a normal toddler would.

"Can I touch your armor?! Can I have your weapon?! Do you have any battle stories?! DO YOU WANNA FIGHT ME?!" *literally vibrating with excitement*

He is basically a more violent "do you have games on your phone" kid, and will. Not. Shut. Up.

A bolter to the face won't even intimidate him, because he's never seen a gun before. He's like... 7. And VERY sheltered.

He'll latch onto Uriel's tiny leg (in comparison to him, it's tiny), and just ask millions of questions, till he sees the next poor space marine to harasss.

He has no social boundaries, as angels don't have boundaries with each other. So, the moment Uriel gets fed up with Satan's behavior, it will result in this poor angel crying. He's a sensitive guy, despite his love for all things war.

He's also very much danger prone, and I could see Satan getting Uriel in trouble a LOT by accidentally making him abandon his troops.

"Look at this weird puppy! Can I keep him?!"

"...you heretical magnet of an angel, that's a flesh hound- put it down, it's dangerous!"

He's also surprisingly quiet when he wants to be, and will give the poor man a heart attack every now and again-

Thankfully, he struggles with reading. Why is this a good thing? Uriel could lie to Satan, saying if he reads the codex front to back, he too can become a space marine (or at least an honorary one, if he doesn't want to crush the poor guys hopes and dreams with false promises.)

This might work for a few days, but after a while it will get too frustrating, and he might try to rip up the poor thing out of frustration.

But before he can, Belphegor, Lucifer, Andras, Metatron, Gabriel, or someone else that likes to read will start reading the codex like a bedtime story for him.

Till their father tries to burn it, seeing it as "evil" since its knowledge outside of his own. He doesn't like his kids learning anything.

But this is pretty much how baby Satan would torture him. He'd push Uriel's flexibility to its limits with his childish nature, huge stature, and inability to understand ANY social cues, human or space marine.

After Ascension

Ah shit, here we go again.

He doesn't really change much in personality, but he is partially blind, occasionally hears voices challenging him or calling him weak, and at this point, he makes daemons of khorne seem more patient.

VERY irritable, and constantly scared, he's more like a frightened animal than a malicious demon.

But he still looks like demonic scum... if you squint, he looks like a bloodthirster. So he's chaos enough.

Satan wouldn't really attack him unprompted, let alone actually torture him.

But if he hurt other demons first? Mercy is not Satan's first thought-

"You fired at a LAMBTTEN?! I WILL RIP OUT YOUR ENTRAILS AND STRANGLE YOU WITH THEM!"

He's very overprotective of the denizens of gehenna, and-

Huh...

Now that I think about it, and what I've researched...

Satan is just demon Uriel.

They're both warriors, they both think outside the box, they're protective of the innocent...

Satan is just Uriel with anger issues, crippling cptsd, and anxiety.

I could see Satan torturing him over a misunderstanding, like Uriel attacking demonic children, thinking they're chaos scum.

Or him attacking Satan, thinking he's hurting civilians, when he's trying to protect them too. Leading to another fight that doesn't go in Uriel's favor.

At this point in his life, Satan is not strong. Not by a long shot. But he is CRAZY. He's willing to do everything and anything to protect the innocent, even it means hurting himself or others in the process.

Though he'd eventually find out what a good person Uriel is for the most part, and feel REALLY guilty for hurting him. He can respect a warrior protecting their own, he just forgets that not all who hurt children are villains.

He'd let his siblings heal him up, while he himself lays on the ground with guts between his fangs, whimpering like a bad dog who got caught ripping up the couch.

I could see them coming to an agreement in secret, like with the demon engine. Though it would be more mutually beneficial. Demons help protect the empire from chaos, and they get food for the Lambttens in return.

This would DEFINITELY get him checked for heresy again, but thankfully working with demons from gehenna doesn't corrupt your mind. You only get weird, if you already are weird. You won't have urges to fuck your mom, or murder puppies any time soon. The demons of gehenna don't want you to do that either-

But Uriel might get a little too close to being executed for heresy as again, Satan is blind. Out of all the demons, he's one of the few that would get caught a LOT due to his disability. He can "see" mainly through hearing, so the marching of an army sounds like he's already surrounded, unless he's more focused.

They might have to give him and his chapter refuge at that point, and that would slowly lead things to end up kinda like how the angelic interaction would go.

"...so can I have your bolter? I won't do anything with it, I just want to feel it-"

Uriel will not know a day without this demon fanboying over the emperor's children, if he dares to answer any of the demon's questions-

At this point in Satan's life, he has finally matured.

He's basically like Khorne, if Khorne had a zen garden.

He is a god of wrath, but also patience. A god of war and peace. A god of violence and mercy.

His domain reflects this weird balance between blood and serenity. Part of his temple is dedicated to training in all forms of combat. While another part is dedicated to meditation. There are decorative infinity pools full of blood, with an enchantment to keep the blood from rotting and stinking up the place. The air has a mix of iron, smoke, and incense filling it with their unique and oddly pleasant smell. Satan's own room has bubbling rivers of blood, zen gardens, actual gardens, and a small training area where he keeps his favorite weapons in a display near his meditation spot.

All in all, he's fucking weird.

At this point, he's a god, but he's able to take a healthier version of his demonic form. With black fur and white wool.

He's a lot more patient, as already stated, and THAT would be what tortures Uriel...

...and possibly getting accused of heresy, AGAIN-

Satan would take Uriel in, given the chance, to give him tests and challenges in an attempt to think even more outside the Codex Astartes, and whatever boxes he has in his mind in general.

He wouldn't be any real danger. Buuuuut, it would be like waking up in a saw trap, unaware that it's a normal escape room.

Satan, at this point, would torture him purely on accident. Sure, he'd wish to scare him and give him pressure, but he doesn’t want to drive the poor man mad-

If the puzzles get to be too much, Satan would give him a break, which could get mistaken for a trick of chaos.

Satan wouldn't want him to convert away from the emperor, he's just made it his life goal to help any and all warriors to be their best, most honorable selves.

I could see him and the emperor having a fight in the warp. Not a full on battle, more so an argument over Satan kidnapping warriors to train and send back out with better strategy skills-

At this point, getting tortured by Satan would just be bizarre...

But if you want headcanons on ACTUAL intentional torture, it's the same as when he was a demon. Hurt the innocent, and you get mauled.

He wouldn't care for the "kill all xenos on sight" rule, even if humanity has a good reason for it. A child is a child and must be sheltered from war, even if they are your enemies' blood.

Thankfully, Uriel's sense of honor might save him here, as the only time I've read about him threaten the innocent was when he was threatening to kamikaze a planet so the tau would back off.

But if he hurts a Lambtten, out of reflex from fighting daemon scum-

He is in for a WORLD of hurt-

Because, unlike Khorne, Satan is extremely patient at this point... sure, he could have his followers maul him as a sacrifice. But he could also make a small slit in his skin, and have him bleed to death, one milligram of blood at a time...

Is it inefficient? Yes. Will it probably take months or years for it to kill him? Probably. But Satan can wait for Uriel to beg for death, either to end his boredom or to get his agonizingly slow execution over with.

It will also give him time to think about his actions and apologize.

But surprisingly, dying from a tiny cut in your foot or hand would be Satan showing mercy in a backwards way.

If Uriel REALLY pissed him off at this age? Dude would just eat him.

Just depends on whether or not the Lambtten is just wounded or dead. If the Lambtten dies to Uriel's hand, he's getting eaten. If they're just hurt, he gets the ridiculously slow execution and plenty of time to apologize to the god and possibly the child he hurt.

I had to go to the wiki a few times and watch a whole video on him, so this might not be perfect. But I did my best with what I got :3

[jinstronaut]

MY BABY BOOOOOOOY

[breitzbachbea]

hi. could you do the blorbo bingo with uhh aph egypt and michelle?

I must admit, I find it deeply funny that either people's autocorrect keeps turning Michele into Michelle or that people keep confusing his Italian name (with a hard c) for the French name. Anyways!

Egypt

I cannot wait to learn more Egyptian history, @lord-of-tomatoes has taught me so much and everyone is at fucking risk when I get the time to read that book about theater in 1920s Egypt and self-expression and its relation to power. New AU incoming for sure. We need to pick up the ball where Hima dropped it and also put all my own blorbos in there, Rut was made for the stage.

Baby BOOOOOOOY. Would have picked "stop putting them in situations", but I am the one who does it and I think it is delicious. Hard agree with the two friends still sitting in my inbox who love Perché in Sicilia i morti dovrebbe morire the most out of all my stories. No drama and melancholy and panic is as good as Michele's.

[sunnixsunshine]

MY BABY FUCKING BOOOOOOOY

[ladykailolu]

We haven’t talked about my baby girl M&M in a while ☹️

I think she’d be very friendly and good buddies with Jake Marshall

I also think she’d have a bisexual panic attack when she sees Mia Fey and Diego Armando

Even though M&M is a gentle darling so she’d never

I just see her comically shoving Gyro away to go up to Godot like

“Hey there hot stuff”

But yeah, M&M tells Gyro’s new boy toys about the time he grabbed her and she punched him in the face and before Gyro knows what happening, a cup of coffee is hurled at his head and he’s met with a disapproving Jake

"They shoot you for that in Texas, pardner." 😆

Boooooooy!!! Godot and Jake don't play around with that domestic violence shit. But imagine when they sit down with M&M and realize that she's not only Gyro's ex-wife but she's also the mother of Gyro's son! (In this AU, Reese wouldn't be considered a bastard because his parents were married by the time he was born.) And Gyro had the balls to lay his hands on one of the mothers of his children?

So Gyro walks away with coffee stains all over himself and a stern warning to watch himself around women.

I imagine M&M would be hurt when she finds out that Gyro rebounded from their marriage pretty quick and already found two boyfriends....until she sees Godot. She shooes Gyro away and struts right up to Godot and strikes up a conversation. Of course, he's one of her ex's new boytoys, but unlike her ex-husband, she actually likes talking to him and buys him a round of his coffee. Then Jake strolls over and the three of them seem to have more fun with each other than with Gyro lol

Then Gyro is left behind to sleep on the couch that night and several nights thereafter, as he deserves.

Ok but....speaking of ex's, what if Godot opened up a little and talked about Mia, whom he lost years ago and couldn't do anything about? M&M is such a gentle soul (and she's a little tipsy), so she feels so badly for him and hugs him, rubbing his back soothingly as if she was a mother comforting a child.