bkwrm523

[bkwrm523]

So, today didn't go too badly. Got the cookies made with my mom, and she was even mostly nice today. She tried to fix my sewing machine, but long story short it didn't work. Soooooo I have to find a repair place now.

Got my flu vaccine and covid booster today. My arm hurts, but that's about it.

My cat missed me, and recieved many apology snuggles.

Tomorrow I've got chores to finish, but for the first time this week, no errands to run

[bkwrm523]

“you need sex for healthy and long lasting relationships.”

not only does that erase asexual people but it shits on people who were forced into having sex out of fear of their partner leaving them. sex is not under any fucking circumstance a requirement for relationships and the absence of it does not break relationships.

[bkwrm523]

[bkwrm523]

human. human. human. pink-masked dinosaur erotica author with 'love is real' written across his forehead. human. human.

[bkwrm523]

while they share a similar base flavor, dick tastes more umami while pussy tastes more acidic, though recent menstruation conveys an overwhelming metallic flavor that some diners object to (though i am not one of them). recommended wine pairings are

[bkwrm523]

[bkwrm523]

people who write fics. how do you feel about comments on super old ones you wrote like 2+ years ago

[bkwrm523]

🕯 🕯 🕯

🕯 May you have the 🕯

🕯 absolute thirstiest 🕯

🕯 of thirst dreams of 🕯

🕯 whatever fictional 🕯

🕯 character you’re 🕯

🕯 hyper-fixating on at 🕯

🕯 the moment 🕯

🕯 🕯 🕯

[bkwrm523]

i’m so glad earth only has one moon, if there were more i’d have to pick a favorite and that sounds too emotionally taxing to even fathom

[bkwrm523]

so true

[bkwrm523]

COD Men and Bad Brain Days

This is my self indulgant way of dealing with the titanic amount of stress that is making my brain whisper of the void. I will stick around, I have to much to be a menace about but why not think about how they would deal with it? Plus if my mother (derogatory) gets to outlive me? Absolutely not.

CW: Suicidal thoughts mentioned

Johnny: Froze a bit once he understands what you are saying.

"Bonnie, why? What? I don't understand?" He holds your face so tight as he flicks his gaze between your eyes.

You laugh lightly, "There is nothing to understand Johnny, sometimes my brain just starts throwing around death as an option. I've learned to tell people so they can help me keep me present. I don't want to die, and I have no plans. I just need you to know that if I randomly start crying I'm okay. I already have an appointment with my doctor and my therapist scheduled to look at my meds."

The concern doesn't leave his face as he pulls you in for a hug. Johnny is always watchful of you but it definately takes on a new level after telling him about the thoughts coming back.

Kyle: Pulled the car over the moment he realizes what you said to him and rests his head on the steering wheel.

"Thank you for telling me, what can I do for you?"

Fighting back the tears you blink and fan your eyes.

"Nothing really? My therapist challenged me to tell someone the next time these thoughts pop up, and I trust you enough to know you won't freak out." You watch him carefully take in several deep breaths before he sits upright and looks at you.

If his eyes are a bit shiny with tears? Neither of you mention it.

"Want to get a drink and sit in the sun for a bit?" He offers.

"I would love that." The tears flow this time. Kyle holds your hand until he is forced to let it go to get out of the car.

Gary: He would find you mid-breakdown because dammit you thought you were past this? It had been years since the last time your brain betrayed you like this and life was going good for once? Yes, you were under some stress but not enough to warrent this overreaction by your brain.

He would pull you into a hug as he sits next to you on the floor and hum lullabies and the randomest collecitons of songs that live inside his head. When you can finally breath without a hitch in your breath he would ask what is wrong.

"My brain is lying to me again. Saying that being dead would be easier than dealing with all this stress," you sniffle into his shoulder.

"Being dead would be easier," he observes calmly.

When you shoot him a glare because that is NOT helpful, he smiles and rubs a thumb through the tears leftover on your face.

"But I know you don't want that, and I'll keep you present and healthy. Let's get some food delivered and then go over some of the things I can take off your plate until things settle down, alright?"

When that causes a new round of tears Gary orders dinner from his phone before coaxing you to the couch with the promise of your favorite show (He can't stand it but knows it will help.)

Simon: The hug he would give you after you hold him? Soul altering. He holds you until you feel real again and presses a kiss to your head. If you find something helpful he asks that you share because he has dealt with his own share of suicidal thoughts ravaging his already messed up mind.

He starts picking up tasks around the house, starting the shower or making dinner, as a way to help you. He checks in at least once a day. He isn't overbearing about it, knowing that the fact you told him is a huge sign of trust and he wouldn't dare abuse it.

John: Oh this man, he would be calling your doctor and therapist and setting up an appointment for you the instant you fell asleep for one of those exhaustion naps. He would book you for a hair cut, a massage, and to get your nails done before the week is out.

He's lost good friends to suicide and the idea that you might disappear? That your thoughts might get to loud to hear that he loves you? He would never recover if he lost you like that. John makes you cry again when he explains everything he has set up for you but he shows his love through actions and these are things he can control. If he could mount a full scale invasion on your brain to kick out whatever makes you think of death as an option he would in a heartbeat.

Masterlist

[bkwrm523]

I’m both pro herbal medicine and pro vaccination because you can treat burns with aloe vera juice and sore throats with lavender infused honey but you can’t rid a country of polio with plants. 

[bkwrm523]

i mean this in the nicest way possible you guys but you NEED to take better care of yourselves online. getting severely anxious about mass quantities of horrible things you cant change every single day is normal considering the internet’s ability to educate on worldwide issues, it shows that you have empathy and that you truly do care. but relentless knowledge of constant suffering on this scale is NOT something humans are psychologically equipped to handle. it’s okay to shut off. it’s okay to just take a break and enjoy yourself for a while in your own localized space

[bkwrm523]

Focus on what you can control: your actions, your mindset, your heart.

[bkwrm523]

MUTUALS

DO THIS

[bkwrm523]

This is a daily Purr from my Purrtreon. Every morning, Monday to Friday, I write and share one of these gentle reminders. If you’d like daily access to this kind of content and other exclusive things, please join my Purrtreon. 🤍

[bkwrm523]

There is one person who will always be rooting for you, believing in you, and hoping with everything in them that you heal, overcome, and thrive. And that person is the former version of yourself. It's the former version of you that had to be still and didn't speak up pushing the current version of you to be bold and speak out. It's the former version of you that fought with everything in them to push through the pain to get out of bed in the morning that encourages the current version of you to seize and fully live in the blessing of each day. It is the former version of you that endured through the valley always reminding you that you possess the wisdom, strength, and capability to not only embrace the mountain tops but also empower from them. May the person who inspires, encourages, and empowers you most be the person who cannot and will not ever leave you. May your greatest motivator be you.

Morgan Richard Olivier - the strength that stays