#my aunt said she has like a ton of craft stuff and i can have some so . thats not bad !

[sw33t-oubliette]

my thanksgiving plan is just make it through dinner (i have autism so that will Not be easy!) and then run downstairs and just read death note and draw the rest of the time . we'll only be there for a few hours so it wont be that bad i dont think

[rjmhereunderprotest]

Crossed Paths & Tangled Webs: Why I Ship SpiderCat

This is gonna be a controversial one through no fault of my own... but also it's all my own damn fault. A confusing contradicting statement to be sure, but when you're talking about Peter Parker and Felicia Hardy, that statement seems to ring the most true. Two people who are as perfect for each other as they are imperfect. In love through no fault of their own... and completely at fault for being so.

My poll for another ship to cover picked this... I'm more than happy to talk about it but we're dealing with volatile stuff right now. As I write this, Spider-Man and Black Cat actually ARE in a relationship with each other. Peter has recently stated that he no longer feels romantically for his long-time love-interest, Mary Jane, calling her more akin to a sister. MJ was apparently stuck in some post-apocalyptic Narnia situation where enough time passed for her to have kids with another guy. And if that wasn't enough... Mary Jane may be about to join Gwen Stacey in the fridge, if you get my meaning. As Zeb Wells is teasing the most shocking Spider-Man story since Gwen Stacey's death and the solicits for the story afterwards say Spider-Man is about to suffer a terrible loss. Felicia is on the covers of at least one of those issues. So unless it's a complete fake out and Wells is going to kill off a relationship he has stated he both prefers and spent a ton of time setting up at the expense of the preferred romance among fans... yeah it's not looking good for MJ. I mean he might kill off Aunt May again, but... well there's no guarantees in comics... ever.

This is a strange time period to be a long suffering SpiderCat shipper. I have held a torch for these two for such a long time it feels like almost second nature. I see Felicia, I want to see her with Peter. No one else, man or woman, will do. (Yes she's Bi, shut up, it's canon) Yet right now, a SpiderCat shipper is now writing the Spider-Man books and everyone seems to absolutely hate Zeb Wells' execution of it all. I've gotten what I wanted, at last, but fans are outright rejecting it. Not so much for Felicia and Peter being together mind you, as much as they're annoyed MJ is being thrown under the bus.

Which I get actually, I may have wanted this ship over Peter/MJ, but not at her expense. I don't want her DEAD or badly written. And given how Marvel has basically treated MJ and Peter over the years, it's hard to argue that these reactions are anything but justified. Even decades later, One More Day's shadow still looms large. Marvel has constantly teased and poked and prodded and snickered about the possibility of Mary Jane and Peter Parker becoming an item again. If not married, at the very least dating. But Marvel seems insistent on this point. "The Marriage was a mistake, we're never going back to it. And anything that is even remotely similar to that status quo is not allowed. Ever." The inability of Marvel's Spidey writers to craft a compelling happy marriage between Peter and MJ has been an albatross around the neck of the ship forever! Even when they did it in an ongoing, it had to be a different universe! One where the Civil War comics event wasn't a thing, so that was also a plus. And MJ had to get Spider Powers too in order to smooth over the whole thing for writers.

So, yeah, MJ's been blamed for making Spider-Books dull and kept at arms length from Peter as much as possible. Because if Spider-Man is EVER TOO HAPPY that can only spell DOOM for the character. His world must always revolve around misery. Linkara of AT4W has said it time and again, in the eyes of Marvel, Spider-Man can never be allowed to be happy.

And yet, despite all that, I still hold true to this maxim, Peter Parker and Felicia Hardy are made for each other. If I ever had an OTP, if I ever had a ship I'd die for, if there was ever any romance I was forever evergreen invested in... it was SpiderCat. Despite whatever the world says, that it can't work, that it's a bad idea, that they don't need each other, that it will never be the way Peter/MJ were once... I don't care. I reject all of that and state proudly, without shame, every time that Spider-Man and the Black Cat are and always shall be perfect for each other.

So Let's Talk about Why that is...

Usually I'm inclined to give brief synopsis points about both characters in separate sections. But Spider-Man is so well known and Black Cat so simply explained in their initial set ups it feels almost... pointless. When you can describe at least one half of the shipping dynamic with a theme song from a sixties cartoon it's hard to honestly come up with anything new or original.

So yeah, Peter Parker, nerdy wimp who gets bitten by a radioactive spider, doesn't get cancer from this, but super powers. Thinks about using these great powers to enrich his life, but after letting a criminal get away because it's "not his problem" he learns a harsh lesson about responsibility. His uncle dies at the hands of said criminal, it's all his fault, and Peter proclaims that as long as he has these powers he will use them to help people.

And as a result, Spider-Man is the hero that always gets up because he has to, he needs to. Because people, strangers and loved ones, depend on him. This comes at the cost of a great deal of things that would make him personally happy. Because if Spider-Man is about anything, it's about personal sacrifice and responsibility. It has been a running theme since his first comic and will continue until the heat death of the universe. If you know nothing else of Spider-Man, this is the most important fact about him going forward for the rest of this essay. Spider-Man is Responsibility and Self-Sacrifice Personified. Whenever he doesn't live up to either aspect of himself, bad things happen, to him, to the people he cares about and New York City at large.

On the other side of that coin, Felicia Hardy, aka the Black Cat. Infamous thief. While her origins are more fluid throughout her incarnations, her general story is pretty much the same. Felicia is a thrill seeking thief, who lives for the daredevil rush only a well-executed heist can accomplish. The Black Cat persona is that of a femme fatale thief of the highest order. There's no question that she shares more than a few similarities to Catwoman of Batman fame. Save for the fact she might possess a slight passive power that causes bad luck to her opponents.

Different character of course, but that's just to establish that it is a superpower. Felicia uses it mainly to steal whatever she wants and get away scot-free. She, in general, tries to avoid personal consequences for these actions. While her motives may vary from one story or universe to the next, ultimately her purpose in life is the same. To live for herself, for her needs and how she wants. The Black Cat persona is just that, a means to indulge in her wants and desires to the fullest extent. She is, inherently, self-serving and selfish whereas Spider-Man is selfless.

On the surface this presents a dynamic akin to oil and water. Spider-Man is an avatar of personal responsibility. The Black Cat is the personification of independent self-interest. They are such opposites, such contradictions, that they should just not work. They should be enemies... and that is how they started.

Amazing Spider-Man #194, Black Cat's first appearance where she and Spidey come to blows over her illicit activities. Felicia has contracted a crew for a job to spring her terminally ill father from prison. Spider-Man tries to stop her, only to end up buried under the rubble of the exploding prison wall. Black Cat flees the scene with a quip about crossing her path and Spidey with a bad arm post-fight. The next issue sees Spidey deduce Felicia's real identity and that Felicia only broke her father out so he could spend his dying hours with his wife and her mother. Spidey and Cat come to blows outside arguing over the merits of what she's done. However in the struggle Black Cat starts to fall off a roof into a surging river below. Spidey catches her with his bad arm, trying to stop her fall... but can't hold on as Felicia seemingly falls to her death. He tries to return to the Hardy residence, only to see Felicia's mother in grief over the death of her husband. Not wanting to add to it... Spidey leaves.

Of course, this isn't the end for Felicia, issue #204 sees the Black Cat return. She's actually been watching him it seems, taking photos of him swinging around town. They get reacquainted at the museum where Cat manages to slip away again after another fight with Spider-Man. Felicia is annoyed though that he keeps fighting her, not understanding why she's doing this. And by the next issue it's revealed, the art pieces Felicia stole were meant to symbolize what she thinks of Spidey. Namely, that she has developed a crush on him. No doubt because, despite trouncing him almost every time they've fought, she's clearly enjoyed all of it. And Spidey hasn't exactly helped in that regard as he has routinely flirted with her. He can't help it, she is hot. Felicia claims she wants to leave thieving behind, at the behest of her mother and she would like Spider-Man to help her reform. Seeing a similarity to a current situation with a girl he's instructing, and that Felicia might be suffering a bit of a mental break as a result of her father's death, he promises to get her help.

These introductory stories set the stage for Felicia and Peter's on again off again relationship for years to come. Felicia is self-servingly selfish, desiring things that aren't hers. Yet her motives are more complicated than pure greed, it is always based somewhat around her emotional state. Her need to give her father and mother some closure before she passes, her desire for Spider-Man to lead her out of a life of crime, as per her mother's wishes. She isn't evil, she has noble intent, she just goes about it in very self-centered ways. Spidey, in the meantime, is selfless to a fault. He'll keep chasing her down, he'll keep trying to set her straight, keep trying to stop her crime sprees. He is drawn to her by his selflessness and sense of responsibility to prevent her from just getting away with whatever she wants. But he does genuinely want to help her and he will not take advantage of her fragile emotional state, even if he himself is somewhat into her. Hell, the first thing he thinks about when he first sees her is that he hopes she isn't a criminal because he'd like to ask her out. He is clearly drawn to Felicia, even if it only starts out as pure infatuation, but he will not take advantage of her interest in him because he knows better than to try to exploit that for his own self-interest.

Of course it's a lie, well partially. Felicia faked being crazy to more easily escape a psychiatric hospital than a prison. But she is indeed in love with him. After her escape, she invites Spidey to a masquerade ball via a sky writer. Ultimately revealing that she lied to him about her mental breakdown in a selfish bid to escape consequences for her actions. But she wants to make up for it now, because this masquerade ball is being hosted by mafioso she stole from and says Spidey can now arrest them all! Crime is too easy she thinks, superheroing is her next thrill seeking adventure and she wants to do it with him. And despite being tricked and more than a little bribed into this, Spider-Man decides ultimately why not give it a try? If she really does want to go straight for him... isn't the responsible thing to do with her to help her out even if her motives are a tiny bit selfish?

This is how their romance starts and sets up the ultimate tug of war dynamic. Spider-Man does want Black Cat, but is wary of her desire to push him into a more selfish mindset. Black Cat actually desires Spider-Man, but can't get over her compulsive selfishness. In this story alone she has to sort of trick Spider-Man into coming to a date that's actually a mafioso party that he can break up. It's a highly manipulative plan that appeals to her selfish infatuation and Spider-Man's selfless heroism. It is a constant push and pull between them at multiple points. By all accounts, they should not work and a good deal of comics past this point go on and on about why they can't work.

I could cover the lengthy relationship between both characters throughout the 80s, Spidey was actually dating Felicia for a long time during the Black Suit days, even after he gave up the Symbiote. And for the most part this dynamic does not entirely change. Peter wants to help Black Cat be a better person before he can truly commit to her. Felicia wants to be a better person and make things work with Spider-Man, but she has a hard time wrapping her head around selfless action over selfish indulgence. It's the roadblock between them truly working as a couple. And there are a ton of moments during this time period I could talk about, but frankly, they are ALL before my time.

None of them really prove my point either, all I've done is just explain why their dynamic as a couple is riveting. It's not exactly like Batman and Catwoman's, but its of a similar vein. The key difference is Spider-Man, being who he is, isn't as opposed to the idea at first as Bruce is with Selina. Catwoman plays a lot harder to get for a lot longer than Black Cat, she also doesn't become Batman's superhero partner. Felicia and Peter by contrast are much younger though, so their reasoning is frankly more in line with their age demographic. They're just quicker to jump in than most people. The only thing holding them back is Black Cat and Spidey's diametrically opposed ideologies, even though we'll see those two viewpoints somewhat crisscross soon enough.

If you want to know however where I actually came in on this, we need to hop over to another universe. The one firmly positioned in the decade that defines the pop cultural wasteland... the 90s.

In an effort to compete with DC's Batman cartoon, Marvel fast tracked a Spider-Man show into production. While not on the same technical/narrative level as the landmark Batman: The Animated Series, Spider-Man: The Animated Series still did a tremendous job at capturing the essence of the character and is still a good series in its own. Even on a recent rewatch, I was surprised to see how well-thought out and true to form the series was. Yes, it's overuse of repeated animation and various other shortcuts was annoying, it certainly wasn't perfect, even by 90s standards, but it deserves recognition where it counts. Part of that was, in my opinion, the dynamic between Felicia and Peter Parker/Black Cat and Spider-Man. It certainly wasn't a slamdunk, I'm going to talk about where the writers fumbled it, but when it worked it worked and I think those parts where it worked so well were what cemented the idea in my head that this relationship, fraught as it was, COULD become something everlasting.

There's no hiding that Felicia's story is completely different from the comics. She actually knows Peter to begin with before she even becomes the Black Cat. They actually date for a while and despite the fact Peter is poorer than dirt, she is clearly interested in him and remains so for a good portion of season one. Peter's first kiss in the series is Felicia in fact. Even when MJ is in the picture, Peter is still torn between her and Felicia.

You might think we're dealing with a Betty and Veronica situation, but it never really materializes as such. Felicia and MJ never really meet this early and Felicia herself isn't really the rich girl stereotype. She's not particularly girlish or whinny. She doesn't really look down on anyone for their status. In fact she more often than not tries to rebel against the stereotype. She does a lot of charity work, she shows concern for the good of New York's citizens and she gives credit to those who deserve it, not just because they flatter her. She also gives Peter a lot of chances despite seemingly screwing up with her. She is reluctant at first to go out with him, but is not embarassed to be seen with him. The issue that arises is, from her perspective, Peter is never around when she gets in major trouble... but Spider-Man is. This become important later, but the thing to note is she is still close friends with Peter for a good amount of time and shows an interest in hm.

The only reason Felicia doesn't get with Peter is, again, Peter's terrible luck as a result of his responsibilities as Spider-Man. He accidentally stands Felicia up one too many times and she... ugh... ends up falling for Michael Morbius. Yes... that Morbius. No, we're not doing the meme. I only bring it up here because its one of the flaws in the show, Morbius as Felicia's love interest feels so incredibly out of place. It exists purely to prevent Felicia and Peter from getting together because nothing about it works. Morbius is hardly charming, he's somewhat of a creep, he's rude, abrasive and his petty rivalry with Peter just makes him unlikable. Its this petty bullshit rivalry, in fact, that causes Morbius' transformation into a Vampire monster in this continuity. Peter tries to claim responsibility for it because it was caused with his radioactive blood, but Morbius was an asshole and did it to himself. He's at fault and he sucks... pun not intended, not entirely. But because he's doing all this to stop a plague in his home country, and he saves Felicia this one time when Peter doesn't show, we're supposed to buy that she's smitten with him. And I do not buy it. In fact, I'd argue the show's writers didn't even buy it and were somewhat forced to do this so they wouldn't step on the iconic romance with Peter and MJ.

Morbius' subsequent flight into exile, as he basically becomes a mutant bat monster, starts an ongoing subplot with Felicia, the fact she has seemingly terrible luck with men. Early on, after Morbius has left her life, Felicia begins to develop a crush on Spider-Man, as at this point he's been there for her more than most other men in her life, saving her or her mother. Spider-Man, as a result, has become a very huge constant staple in her life, more so than any other man as far she can see. Peter, despite his messy love life, does care for Felicia, and is very quick to jump in to help her whenever she is in trouble. Partially because of his connection to her, partly because he still blames himself for Morbius' transformation. So Peter is spending a lot of time as Spider-Man with Felicia at this point, more so than MJ even who is dating Harry Osborn for a while. As far as Felicia is concerned, Spider-Man has become something akin to a knight in shining armor who is always there for her. She can't help but fall for him.

She reveals this by suddenly kissing him on the balcony, pulling up the mask half-way and everything. Peter, however, says he can't reciprocate, as much as he probably still has feelings for Felicia. He says he can't have a girlfriend though because it would put her in danger. It's bunk of course, he's still trying to be with MJ even though she's currently with Harry, but I imagine it plants an idea in Felicia's head. Regardless, for now she's crestfallen and this leads her into the arms of another man, Jason Phillips Macendale, a rich well to do playboy-type. Even still, she retains her feelings Spider-Man throughout their relationship. There is a scene at a carnival where Jason wins a stuffed Spider for her, which she remarks she finds spiders cute while he acts rather annoyed and jealous over it. Despite the fact she very clearly still wants Spidey to be with her, Felicia does agree to marry Jason when he proposes.

At the engagement party, which Peter attends with MJ as she has dumped Harry at this point, he changes into Spider-Man to spy on the Kingpin and Osborn over some business with the Hobgoblin. Annoyed he has to leave MJ to deal with this problem, he's interrupted by Felicia.

She asks if he's here to wish her good luck and Peter fumbles his words in saying as much. Which leads to this exchange:

Spidey: Do you really love this Jason Phillips guy?

Felicia: And why should you care about that? Unless you got a better offer?

Spidey: (Thoughts) This is crazy, I can't have one girlfriend as Peter Parker and another as Spider-Man! (Speaking) No, I don't... I just want you to be happy.

As Spidey swings away, Felicia mournfully says "So do I." It's a very clear statement, she's settling. Jason is rich and powerful and the person she's expected to marry due to who she is, but she's not really sure about it, or happy. Because the man she wants is currently swinging away. It's obvious that, in Felicia's eyes, she's missing something in her life that makes her happy and Spider-Man seems to be that something. Likewise, Peter, the paragon of self-responsibility, knows he can't abuse his secret identity to cheat on MJ, even though he seems very tempted to admit that he still has feelings for Felicia. But in the end, all he cares about is her happiness and if she can find it in this Jason dude, who is he to ruin that?

Well, he doesn't have to ruin it. Because we find out, shock of all shocks, Jason is the Hobgoblin and the revelation shakes Felicia to her core. The fact that this person she was dating, this man who she decided on because she couldn't have Spider-Man was a fraud, a criminal, a liar... it's a terrible thing to realize how poor your judgment is. Almost reaffirming that this was the wrong choice from the start.

Spidey of course once again comes swinging to her rescue and defeats the Hobgoblin. But Felicia has questions for her former fiancé. Jason relents that he used crime to create everything he is and get everything he has, including her. She's just another possession to him. What she deep down probably feared going into this, why her heart wasn't in this, why she wanted Spider-Man to give her a way out and save her again.

Felicia: I have to know, did you ever really love me?

Jason: I don't know. I love things about you. Your wealth, your beauty, your refinement.

Felicia: That's not love! I've experienced true love... and it's nothing like that.

And we don't get a flashback to Morbius, as this show constantly does because it's very not subtle, we don't see her talk about bat boy at all. She looks directly at Spider-Man as she says this and the camera zooms in on him as she speaks those words. This overtly informs the audience what love means in Felicia's mind. Love in Felicia's mind is being there for someone, who Spider-Man has been for a long time now. And more importantly, it's about wanting that person to be happy, which was all Spider-Man said he ever wanted. Spidey never asked anything of Felicia, he was just there for her and perhaps, in Felicia's mind, the reason he can't return it is because she can't be there in the same way. She is after all a damsel who he needs to keep saving and Spider-Man made it an issue that they can't be together because she'd be in danger.

In fact, this incident has given Felicia a complex that alludes to her future. "Every time I give my heart to someone, disaster strikes!" She sobs to Spider-Man. "I'm like a Black Cat spreading bad luck to everyone who crosses my path! Including my own."

By the next season things have taken a turn for the tragic, Mary Jane has vanished into realms unknown after mirroring Gwen Stacey's fall from a bridge into an interdimensional portal. As far as Peter knows though she's just gone, maybe forever. They can't say dead on this show, you know how it is.

This would probably leave the door back open for Felicia, but Peter is in no mental condition for another relationship right now and Felicia is smitten with Spider-Man, not Peter. Although he does wonder if she could help him with his grief as he swings over to her apartment. Not to say she doesn't care for Peter, but her heart belongs to his masked vigilante persona. In fact, so much so that she proclaims that Spider-Man is the only good thing in her life during that same visit. (Granted this is after an attack by Doctor Octopus, but the point stands) It's obvious that Felicia is now clinging to Spider-Man as one of the few constants in her life at this point, what with repeatedly being placed in danger by monsters and maniacs. The lack of control and helplessness is eating at her terribly.

However, this does lead into what we've all been waiting for, Felicia's transformation into the Black Cat and the start of the multi-episode season storyline, "Partners in Danger."

Felicia's father isn't just a cat burglar anymore. It turns out he got a peek at the formula for the Super Soldier serum back in WW2. He was almost tricked into giving it to the Nazis but managed to evade them. He was a kid at the time and was on the run for several decades. He's been in SHIELD custody for the past few years, until now when the Chameleon breaks him out only to hand him over to the Kingpin. Soon after, Doctor Octopus kidnaps Felicia and brings him to Fisk to reunite her with her father. And basically blackmail her into performing crimes for Fisk to test out the Super Soldier formula.

Yes, the Black Cat in the 90s Animated Series is basically a super soldier thief. It is suggested its not a complete process, but it grants Felicia more capability than she used to have. As the Black Cat she's now stronger, faster, more agile, versatile and has heightened senses. She's basically a mini-Captain America sans shield and a less patriotic aesthetic. Also, the Serum allows her to completely alter herself, her hair turns white and grows longer, while she also becomes more ripped and taller. This is so people won't really recognize her, an important detail for later.

While it's obvious Felicia hates being forced to go along with this to protect her father, she doesn't hate the new powers she's been granted and seeks to use them to eventually turn the tables on Fisk and save her dad. However, for the time being she gets in more than a few scrapes with Spider-Man, one of which leaves him knocked out in front of her. She considers pulling off his mask, but decides against it, preferring him to do it for her himself. She does plant a kiss though, the first of many as the Black Cat. The sequence is clear, Felicia is no longer the damsel but Spider-Man's equal and she hopes that this means things can change.

True, Felicia still gets into trouble and Spider-Man has to save her before the episode is out, but they actually do come together as partners by the end and effectively work together to defeat Fisk and save her father. Sadly, he has to return to SHIELD custody, of his own free will, to prevent the secrets he knows from ever getting out. I'd kinda like to to think they would give him a more witness protection situation than imprisonment for the guy, even if he did become a thief. It's SHIELD though, it's kinda expected they don't always do the sensible thing.

However this sets up the dynamic for the next few episodes as Black Cat and Spider-Man work together more and more. Spider-Man is reluctant at first, still mourning Mary Jane, but Black Cat manages to shake him out of that stupor. Reminding him not to close himself off in his grief. And Spidey himself remarks, as he and Black Cat work together, that he's actually having fun for once as Spider-Man. This is something to keep in mind, Black Cat actually challenges Spider-Man more often than not throughout their time together. Pushing him to remember why he does this job, stopping his pity parties cold, reminding him to not see his power as a burden that he so often does and as a gift he uses to help people. Even if she's not the same self-serving Felicia from the comics, as the Black Cat she embraces the liberated self her persona grants her. She's finally being able to do the things that her position as a rich socialite kept from her. Her stance is that Spider-Man can afford to think about what he wants and what makes him happy as much as his own responsibilities.

Frankly, it gets through to Peter. As time goes on, Spider-Man becomes more receptive to the idea that he should move on from MJ and be with Black Cat, a fellow crime fighter, on his level who can look after herself as much as him. This has been the problem Spider-Man has faced for a while, being able to protect the people he cares about despite his powers seemingly always getting in the way. In the same vein, Felicia's newfound abilities enable her to be Spidey's equal. Allowing her the opportunity to see him as a person and not just the superhero who saves her. This gives her the ability to challenge, as well as compliment him, as pointed out.

Their dynamic frankly rings more true and honest as a relationship. Even MJ never pushed Peter in the same way Black Cat pushes Spidey to be better. That's not to say MJ was a bad girlfriend, but on the show... she frankly resembled the comics version of Gwen Stacey personality wise. Black Cat may have been in love with Spider-Man, but that never stopped her from telling him off when he got something wrong. She had her own opinions and views on how this relationship worked and despite clashing with Spidey, they always seemed to be getting closer and more intimate every time she crossed his path.

That is until the goddamn Vampire comes back and ruins it all, because Felicia still has feelings for Morbius, I guess. In fact, he comes back so soon and suddenly, just as Peter is thinking of committing to Black Cat as Spider-Man, that it again feels like a mandate from on high. They're getting too close to each other, we can't have that, break them up by making Morbius a thing again. And quite frankly it feels forced because the only thing that seemingly prevents Spidey and Cat from sealing the deal is that neither of them have guessed at who the other is.

This is despite the fact that the Black Cat is obviously Felicia, given her very close relationship with Felicia's father that she doesn't even try to hide at all during her introductory episode. But Spidey has been consistently dense when it comes to secret identities, he couldn't even figure out Matt Murdock and Daredevil were the same person under similar circumstances. Using excuses THAT HE HIMSELF USES to cover his ass as Spider-Man. For being so smart, Peter is incredibly slow on the uptake when it comes to guessing Black Cat's identity despite how damn obvious it is. Not that Felicia is honestly much better, as both before and after this there are a number of clues to Spidey's true identity. Like... she kissed Peter AS Peter, she should know that mouth!

But the fact is, and this is where the forced editorial mandate thing comes in, that if they ever found out who the other was... that would be the end for any possible Peter and MJ relationship at this point. Felicia would finally realize why Peter seemed to never be around when she was in trouble, it's because he was Spider-Man. And given that Felicia's reasoning for being in love with Spider-Man is, again, the fact she feels he's always been there for her, she'd realize her most long standing intimate REAL relationship was with Peter all along! Peter in turn would realize that Felicia, the girl he first had a crush on, the one he was most conflicted about getting with before MJ vanished, a person he still has strong feelings for, is also the person who taught him to love again after MJ vanished. A friend he cares about who is now on his level and has also been there for him! There would be no way they couldn't get together at that point, or at the very least it would be very hard for Peter to decide between her and MJ from then on.

But no, the adventure with the returned Morbius leads to Felicia deciding to go with the creep Mutant Vampire and Blade to hunt other vampires and leave Spider-Man behind, just as he was about to be with her. Of course, Peter doesn't put two and two together that Cat is leaving with Morbius because as established he's an idiot when it comes to this stuff. If he was smarter, he'd have figured it out right now and probably revealed himself to her, and that would create a conflict and probably make her question this frankly boneheaded and nonsensical decision. So no, Felicia and Peter never find out each other's secret identities and she goes off with Morbius leaving Peter alone for no really good reason other than this felt like the fastest way to break them up so MJ could slide back in.

And MJ does slide back in, not long after this episode in fact and Spider-Man quickly fast tracks to proposing to her, revealing his secret identity, the works. However, Felicia isn't out of his life as MJ still keeps getting into trouble, constantly. At the wedding, Black Cat returns to make sure Peter's big day doesn't get ruined, because she does care about Peter even if she isn't with him. She does this again when MJ is seemingly kidnapped, first comforting Peter as Felicia reassuring him during a moment of hopelessness and then becoming Black Cat again to track down MJ for Peter.

And she admits aloud that she's doing this because she doesn't think she made the right call to follow Morbius and Blade, she still has feelings for Spidey, even though he's loyal and committed to MJ. Again, Felicia does not put two and two together given how gung-ho Spidey is for finding MJ. This also marks the only time MJ and the Black Cat meet, it's very quick, Peter has to answer a few obvious questions. After all that, Felicia decides to head back to Transylvania and once again Peter doesn't put two and two together that Felicia and Black Cat are back in town right at the same time. Because he's stupid like that.

What's important to note is that Felicia will drop everything for Peter, which suggests to me, on some subconscious level, she knows who Spider-Man is. And the fact she's still playing mental support coach to Peter, even outside of their secret identities, speaks volumes for their bond and connection. Even outside of the Black Cat persona and without directly knowing it, Felicia is there for Spider-Man when he needs her, just as much as he was for her.

But of course, all of this is for naught concerning Mary Jane's fate. Because... this is not Mary Jane. This hasn't been Mary Jane since she returned at the end of last season and conclusion of "Partners in Danger." Because we've been doing a random ass Clone Saga deal this whole time! This MJ, the one Peter married, shared his secrets with, probably most likely banged... wasn't his MJ. She was a clone created by Miles Warren who can use frickin water powers like Hydro Man because Hydro Man is an asshole ex who is obsessed with MJ and wanted his own version of her. But she wandered off, blah blah blah, point is her clone stability is breaking down and she's gonna evaporate. Cue one of the most gut wrenching screams in animation history.

So yeah, Peter never got the real Mary Jane back, only to be set up for heartache all over again. One could argue he probably loved this Mary Jane more. Sure he thought she was the original, but everything he experienced with her were steps he was unwilling to take with the real one. Similar to how Felicia has been feeling conflicted, one has to imagine Peter is even more so at this point on several other levels. Not that he has much time to mourn though. Madame Web has returned after a long absence from the series and she has war for him to fight, a Secret War.

In a very loose adaptation of the original Marvel Comics Event, Spider-Man is tasked by the Beyonder to lead a team of superheroes to liberate a planet that has fallen to villains he's plucked from Earth. This becomes a bit of a crossover between pretty much every Fox Entertainment Marvel Cartoon running at the time. From X-Men to Iron Man to the Fantastic Four, not Hulk though, Hulk rights are always a problem. But even after he's picked all the heroes he can afford to recruit, like any Gamer he can't resist modding shit to give him more stuff. And of all the heroes and allies he could pick to increase his ranks... he chooses the Black Cat.

It's a fairly odd choice honestly. Spidey has worked with a lot of heroes, maybe not as extensively as the Black Cat, but he's fought beside Doctor Strange, he knows other X-Men who are on Storm's level or at least just as capable. But he picks Black Cat. He picks her despite knowing that Madame Web knows the Real Mary Jane's location and promises it as a reward if he helps her. He picks Black Cat, despite knowing she is currently with Morbius and Blade. Makes one wonder... why?

Felicia isn't happy with this herself, because she just got pulled away in the middle of a vampire slaying fight. Don't worry, they're fine. It's Blade he'll manage without her.

...

What? Oh Morbius, yeah I guess he'll survive too just by being in close proximity to Blade. Have I mentioned I hate Morbius?

Anyway, the point is Black Cat is none too happy get pulled into Spidey's adventures against her will, like he can just do that on a whim. She's kinda right to be angry at him and she is for a good portion of the episode. When Spidey explains he picked her because he needs her support and they work good as a team, Felicia rightly says that he can't just rip her away from things because he needs to hold her hand. She'll be more than willing to do so on her own, he doesn't need to ask, he just shouldn't force her. It's a surprising role reversal, with Spider-Man being a bit more selfish than usual and Black Cat outwardly demanding to know when Spider-Man is gonna grow up. A question many comics fans wonder themselves to this day.

Spider-Man's ultimate ulterior motives are a bit more obvious though when he gets pretty jealous over Captain America and Black Cat bonding over her having the super soldier serum. And it doesn't help that Cap keeps kinda outshining him constantly when he saves Felicia a few times. But to be fair, Steve Rogers does that with everyone.

After the mission that topples the Red Skull ends, Spidey does apologize for taking Felicia against her will into this war. But she's no longer angry. Taking part in a mission bigger than even vampire slaying is important, a big deal, and if there is one thing Felicia has wanted its to not be left out of a fight for something bigger than herself. Plus, she get's to do it beside the greatest hero of all time. Spidey thinks she means Cap, but she corrects him, she's talking about the Web Head. Despite not being as perfect as Captain America, Spider-Man did prove himself out there as a leader to her and she admits she wouldn't want to miss this action with him for anything. Despite not wanting to be here initially, Felicia ultimately can't get over the fact Spider-Man wanted HER here with him. And given their last meeting had him coldly rejecting her advances, it says to Felicia that Spidey still feels for her and she clearly does too. Black Cat then kisses Spider-Man... and it's the last kiss he'll ever receive in the series. That's right, Peter's first and last kisses on this show come from Felicia. How do you not expect anyone to read into that?

No matter what lame line Morbius tries to give at the end of the episode, Felicia's heart doesn't really belong to him. It is very evident, crystal clear, painfully obvious, to anyone paying attention, that Felicia and Peter, on this series at the very least, were specially connected. Maybe not at first, but Felicia became someone who could match Spider-Man, physically and mentally, in many ways. And it's undeniable that, regardless of anything else, Peter held feelings for both Felicia and her Super Thief persona. Their banter was perfect, their partnership was top notch, the chemistry was amazing. The only thing keeping them apart was a story writing mandate from on high that they could not be endgame. Even though the writers took every chance they could nab to put them together. To shove Felicia back into Peter's life, even after she went off Slaying it up with Morbius. When I rewatched the series, it became painfully obvious who the writers seemed to prefer Peter with. None of this is to knock MJ as a character, on this show or in the comics, but it's hard for me to buy that there wasn't some kind of bias towards Felicia given everything that happens in this show.

Or maybe they just wanted an excuse to keep bringing Jennifer Hale back, I don't know! But I still choose to think that someone on that writing staff wanted a different endgame. It's been known to happen, creative teams aren't immune to shipping. Avatar the Last Airbender apparently had an ongoing tug of war between the executive producers and some of the writers over whether Katara would pick Zuko or Aang. It honestly feels like something similar happened here and as a result it comes across as the best evidence in my mind that this relationship could work. And the insane reality that less than a decade after Spider-Man TAS concluded, a show that did everything to ensure Spider-Man never got with the Black Cat because Peter/MJ were too iconic to not happen... One More Day drops and Peter has barely been with MJ for more than a single run out of several writers since. Said single writer being Nick Spencer, the Hydra Cap guy! Possibly in an effort to redeem himself from being the Hydra Cap Guy.

But I digress, as one can plainly see concerning this short retrospective of the series above, the 90s Cartoon has been over for a long time. Next year, it will be thirty years old. I can point out how it could've worked in that show, but that does nothing to prove Felicia and Peter ever have a chance now. All it shows is that I have a nostalgic attachment to this pairing because of an animated series. One with a highly different set of canonical circumstances between Spidey and the Black Cat that were crafted uniquely for this show alone. Circumstances that are worlds apart from the comics.

And that's because, as loathe as I am to admit it, Peter and Felicia's relationship has always had roadblocks in every piece of media involving them before and since. And I would be remiss if I didn't address any of those before I can start proving its viability now. If I don't I'll just have to do it later anyway. We'll look at how SpiderCat appears in other works as we go through this, but we need to head back to comic book land if we're really going to lay down what's actually keeping these two apart, and it's not the very weak contrivances preventing them from figuring out the obvious like in the 90s cartoon. No, it goes deeper than that. As you can see here.

90s Felicia wanted Spidey to unmask for her, but Comics!Felicia has had a hang up about that for a long while. This is the crux, the problem, with their relationship. The thing that always comes up when SpiderCat shippers argue for it. Comics!Black Cat loves Spider-Man... not Peter Parker. And mixing the two is too much for her to bare. This is what put strain on their relationship, Felicia didn't want her fantasy ruined by knowing the man behind the mask. Peter being an ordinary guy shatters her illusions about his prowess and ability. The phrase "Anyone can wear the mask" comes to mind and as long as Peter wears it for the Black Cat that is true. Take it off and Peter's normality leaks into things.

As a result, the main problem is Felicia can't love a man like Peter, who has a normal life outside of his superheroing. Felicia doesn't want normal, she likes what she is, who she is, doesn't want to go back to it. She wants to be the Black Cat because as the Cat she can do and get whatever she wants. Peter is, again, weighed down by responsibilities. While Felicia, once again, desires her independence from everything, including responsibility. Felicia would rather Spider-Man give up being Peter and just be the hero who swept her off her feet full time. To forever chase her across the rooftops and do what they want whenever they want. She's fine if that means fighting bad guys... so long as they're not tied down to normality. But Peter can't do that, he can never do that, not as long as he has ties to his life as Peter. And that's probably why Wells is considering severing a pretty big tie to that in order to make sure SpiderCat can't be reversed so easily. Can't really blame him for that though, given how comics are in constant flux. (Remember This)

This sort of issue is constantly reinforced. In the Spider-Man 2 video game, based off the Sam Raimi sequel, The "Spidey's loss of his powers" sub-plot is replaced by Black Cat trying to seduce him away into forever crime-fighting as his relationship with Mary Jane becomes strained due to her upcoming marriage to Jonah Jameson's son. Their dynamic matches the comics pretty well... and that means Spidey eventually breaks it off with her, saying he can't abandon his real life to forever play superhero with her. He needs a balance and that means he can't see her anymore. She leaves amicably, but it's sad to see happen.

In the Spider-Man: Web of Shadows game, Black Cat is revealed to still have feelings for Spider-Man and wants to be back together with him. This is pretty bad timing given the symbiote invasion going on. As the game is using the then popular trend of multiple choice endings there is one where you can have Black Cat be with Spider-Man at the end. It requires you basically healing her after a fight with your black suit, turning her into a Venomized version of herself. You can still pick the good ending after this where you defeat the Symbiotes, but all you know for sure is that MJ and him are on quits. You only see Felicia again if you pick the bad ending where Spider-Man breaks bad fully and decides to lead a symbiote army with Felicia by his side. Further emphasizing the idea that Peter can't pick being with Felicia without abandoning everything that makes him who he is.

There's also Spectacular Spider-Man, the other beloved Spider-Man animated series. Shorter-lived, but just as impactful. Where Spidey and Black Cat seem to hit it off during the start of Peter's whole symbiote storyline. Their banter is great, the chemistry fits, Felicia and Pete seem destined to be star-crossed opposite sides of the law lovers. However, when they meet up again Felicia is breaking her father out as she usually does... but the twist this time is Felicia's father is the one who shot Uncle Ben.

Naturally this completely wrecks any goodwill concerning Black Cat and Spidey's second meeting. As from here on out he's adamant Felicia's dad is not getting out. While it turns out Dad doesn't want to leave either and he decides to sacrifice his chance at freedom to stop a mass jailbreak of supervillains, that changes little. Spider-Man does not forgive Felicia's father and Felicia blames Spider-Man for infecting her dad with sentimentality. Even knowing he took an innocent life, all Felicia sees is her dad rotting away in jail. She declares she'll never forgive Spider-Man for this and rushes off in anger. The series ended shortly thereafter and this was never resolved. Greg Weisman, the show's creator, says if it had continued the relationship would've been "fraught." And once again this is the typical line concerning the fact Felicia's selfish desires run up against Spider-Man's heroic responsibility. And letting a criminal get away, especially one that killed his Uncle, is just something he can't do.

And I could go on, there are a ton of examples of this very problematic element of the relationship. It's the thing Marvel has consistently used to explain why Peter and Felicia aren't the right fit. Any romance would require either character to make sacrifices they are incapable of. Namely Felicia's independence and Peter's Responsibilities. Marvel itself decided to set this in stone to a degree with the usual question they ask... "What If?"

"What if... Spider-Man Married the Black Cat?" is the second part of a longer What If storyline answering what would happen if Peter and MJ did not get married. (HA! After OMD, one cannot help but laugh!) And as much as that cover paints wedded bliss... it's anything but. Felicia and Peter come to blows repeatedly, unable to reconcile their differences. Their goals are far too distant from each other overall and they just can't find common ground. By the end of the issue, Felicia lies dead, Spider-Man heart broken and the grim reality that this romance could never work is cemented in stone it seems. "What Ifs" aren't definitive statements about the only possible outcomes for the Marvel universe. But they are definitive statements from Marvel itself, a decree from on high that the current continuity, for all its faults, could be so much worse and we should be happy for what we have. And while the issue is loaded with nice panels that any SpiderCat fan would adore, the end result is still plain as day. Felicia and Peter are too oil and water to ever mix. And the end result would be the destruction of one or both.

How do you overcome the dreadful reality that your ship is declared doomed forever by the very company that in some sense set it in motion? Not just because Spider-Man can never be happy, but because the Black Cat is just too toxic a girlfriend to ever truly make him happy. Everyone argued that MJ and Peter's marriage was boring but they didn't want him to get with the next best option either because they think it's non-compatible, that they're just too different and of opposing thoughts to ever reach common ground.

And Marvel has tried to permanently set that in stone in canon once. To forever place SpiderCat as beyond possible, to sever their connection as decades long allies... and all because of an octopus in the brain.

The image above is not that of Peter Parker fighting the Black Cat. This is Doctor Otto Octavius, piloting Peter's body after jacking his mind. This is the Superior Spider-Man, and he does not care about Peter's past infatuations. He's here to prove he's the better Spider-Man and that means apprehending all criminals. In an otherwise re-affirming storyline that proves Peter Parker is the true Superior Spider-Man, Otto failing to live up to his lofty ambitious boasts, this scene... this one bloody scene, leads to the absolute low point period for all SpiderCat Fans. I call it the "Bitch Be Crazy" Era, an offensive title for a frankly offensively disgusting sub-plot in the Spider Run post-Superior.

Peter Parker informs all his Superhero buddies that Doc Ock had taken over his body for a long time, explaining his shitty behavior for the past year or so. Most everyone's response is "Oh, yeah, that's obvious in hindsight." Not Felicia.

The tables have turned, now Felicia has broke bad, but for real. And there is no way to describe what she becomes but extremely out of character. She doesn't accept Spider-Man's explanation, she doesn't even care. She is now obsessed with becoming the next Kingpin of Crime, a murderous, merciless mob boss who pulls the strings of supervillains, all in a bid to destroy Spider-Man and all he holds dear and it's absolutely, completely, stupidly, idiotically terrible. No matter how selfish Felicia can be, this is NOT her. Felicia has never shown any desire to be a crime boss, to be feared. Her desires have always been thrill seeking, shiny things and not being told what she can and can't do. She might be violent, but she is not a cold-blooded killer. She might be cynical, but she is not this petty. Every element of this terrible subplot makes no sense unless she's absolutely lost her mind or been replaced by a Skrull.

The only fun thing in this whole mess, was that Gwenpool's first in-universe story took place during this sub-plot and she crossed paths with her. And then did this.

I guess that justifies putting a Gwenpool tag below somewhere. Win for me!

Suffice to say, no one liked this change. Everyone hated it, even more than Superior Spider-Man. People came around on that, no one liked Felicia the Big Black Cat of Crime. Dan Slott could never justify it because it made no sense that Felicia would care this much about street cred because Spider-Man beat her up. As if there isn't a single crook in New York at this point who can claim Spider-Man hasn't knocked out one of their teeth. Others tried to explain it, to give it a more sensible face. There was an explanation in the Silk comic, but it didn't really stick as something that would drive her to this extreme. Regardless, it was a dark time for SpiderCat Shipping Fandom. And it took way longer than it should've to fix it all.

But it did get fixed and that brings me the counter to ALL of this stuff that stands in Peter and Felicia's way. And that is that no matter how much things stay the same, comics always inevitably change and so do the characters in them. We like to pretend that the way we see a lot of the characters in comics now has just always been them. But no, they're not. Batman used to carry a gun in his early days, Superman didn't always fly, Captain America, a WW2 Veteran, claimed he never killed anyone for a short time, Deadpool didn't always break the 4th Wall and Starlord used to be a lot more of a straight edged serious space hero and not a rock music lovin' dancin' fool of a rogue Han Solo. Tastes change, writers change, people change... and so has Felicia.

Felicia hasn't always been honest with Peter, she's tricked him into chasing her, played him to get away with a score, gotten superpowers from Kingpin in an effort to keep up with him which led to their first break up, she even dated Flash Thompson trying to make him jealous. But if one thing has been consistent, it's that Felicia can't help but cross back into Peter's life. And in the process, because she cares, even loves him, there are things she's had to accept, to admit to. And chief among them is Peter Parker is Spider-Man and Peter Parker's life is as if not more important to him than just being Spider-Man. She hasn't only loved Spider-Man for years at this point, for a long time. She loves both. and she is willing to accept both. If there is any problem, it's Peter accepting Felicia for who she is... which is a better person than even she gives herself credit for.

Spider-Man wouldn't be partnering up with Felicia so often if he didn't believe there was more to her than just a shallow thief. And the influence has affected Felicia, she's admitted as much. Maybe her shift to doing good was set off by a crush, but she owned that change and she kept pushing herself. She'll never have a strict moral compass, but she does know what the right choice is at the end of the day, what feels right. And when Spider-Man needs an ally, he can call on her as much as anyone. Spider-Man being in her life has only been a net positive for Felicia, Peter being with her has only been a net positive. And that brings us back to her time as a lame crime boss and how they fixed her. Because there's a better, deeper, actually meaningful reason for their schism besides Felicia's loss of street cred.

She forgot the man she loved and changed for.

Yep, we're factoring One More Day into this thing proper like. After an adventure with Venom and Spidey, dealing with some symbiote nonsense, Felicia is convinced to hash it out with the Wall Crawler. And she admits to him that she lost something, his face. When Spider-Man made the world forget who he was under the mask it affected Felicia too. All her memories, all the time spent with Peter post reveal, everything that she knew about the man behind the mask... it was either gone or in a fog. She can't remember all those times that Peter trusted her with who he was and it has been eating her up inside for years! And Spider-Man never thought about how that would affect her, a person he's loved, been intimate with, and at least now cares about. That was an important time in her life and it's just gone now. And it may be selfish to want all of it back and even demand it back... but she's right. Those memories were hers and Spidey took them away. And Spider-Man, being selfless as he is, can't just let that stand anymore.

Everyone says Felicia only loves Spider-Man, but that's not true. She may love the Spider... but she changed for the Man. She cherishes that time she had with that Man. And it's hard to believe that she doesn't love the Man as much as the Spider because, ultimately, they are the same person. That's the other difference between this and Bruce/Selina. Bruce Wayne is the mask for the boy who died in that alleyway, Batman is who he's been since that day. Peter and Spider-Man are the same person, it's why he can't leave either persona behind. And Felicia has long since accepted that, and that has never changed how she feels about him until she lost who he was beneath the mask. Now it's all back, the highs and lows of that tumultuous time in her life when she fell for a Spider and came to love the Man. It doesn't heal everything, but it repairs the bond that was broken so long ago and so unintentionally.

There is, however, another argument being floated around these days I have to address. That even if Felicia can accept the man beneath the mask, do either really NEED each other? I'd point to all the stuff above that shows how that's simply not true, but there's more to it than that. Love isn't always about what you need, it's just as much about what you want. And I'm not talking about a person or thing, not something material. What does Felicia want? What does Peter want?

Felicia wants to be more than what she is, always has been. She wants thrills, she wants to be her true self and I feel Spider-Man brings out those qualities more than any of her other boy or girlfriends, especially since he started her path to change and growth. She stops being selfish and reacts more selfless. His influence on her is undeniable and she knows as much as anyone. She'll never be a good girl, but she'll at least be a better one than she is without him in her life.

Peter wants to be at peace, to be happy with who he is, to not always feel burdened. Felicia has always been one of the ways he's released that burden, he's been happy with her. Sure he's been happy with others, but Felicia has met him on a level that none of them could, she's been able to be in the thick of it with him. She's been able to share the burden. She's been able to be an active participant. With her around, Peter's world as a superhero doesn't feel so lonely. And maybe, if Felicia could accept the man as much as it seems she has, so too could she accept Peter's regular life.

In Taylor Swift's song, Anti-Hero, she reflects on how exhausting for her it's been that she hasn't seemed to learn anything and keeps making the same mistakes over and over. And if you pay attention to the lyics enough, they start describing Felicia Hardy pretty well.

I should not be left to my own devices They come with prices and vices I end up in crisis (tale as old as time) I wake up screaming from dreaming One day I'll watch as you're leaving 'Cause you got tired of my scheming (For the last time)

However, just as much of it can sorta apply to Spider-Man as well. His heroic selflessness is frankly a very long depressing slog of him being unable to forgive himself for letting down Uncle Ben, placing all the blame on his shoulders and then repeating that process whenever his great power can never live up to his great responsibility.

Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time) I wake up screaming from dreaming One day I'll watch as you're leaving And life will lose all its meaning (For the last time)

When it comes to Spider-Man and the Black Cat, a lot of the things that make them unhappy are self-inflicted. Lewis Lovhaug of "Atop the Fourth Wall" Fame has argued that the problem with Spider-Man in a lot of modern stories is that he never learns from anything. He hasn't done enough to improve himself as Spider-Man or as Peter Parker, he just keeps feeling sorry for himself that one gets in the way of the other. And frankly, the same curse has affected Felicia. Because a lot of what has prevented her from being with Spider-Man has been herself. Ultimately both will, as the song says, always look towards the bright sun of what they think they want, but never in the mirror. They'll hurt themselves, never realizing that they're the source of their own dissatisfaction with how their lives are. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero, especially when its yourself.

Maybe Peter and Felicia don't need each other, but they do need someone to set them straight and get them to stop believing their own bullshit. To make them stare away from the sun and into the mirror. Because they are each exactly the kind of person who would do that for the other, in fact they've been doing it for as long as they've been together. Their bond is stronger than people give it credit for.

Early on in their relationship, Black Cat was badly injured and has to be rushed to a hospital. Helpless to really do anything, Peter could only stand by her bedside and hope she'd be okay again. For all his power, once more, he can't do anything but just stay with her. And actually, that's enough.

But come now, would Felicia ever do the same for Peter you ask? Well... during a recent story event, Spider-Man was badly injured and slips into a coma. But there was one person constantly by his side throughout it.

This isn't derogatory, Felicia is clearly lamenting the fact that someone so good who does everything so selflessly despite no thanks or praise, is so constantly placed into situations like this. It's unfair to her. It's why she's here now, like he was for her. And just like before...

It's Felicia who gets the first response out of him. Claim all you want that Felicia doesn't need Peter, that she's moved past him, that Peter and MJ are too perfect for each other, that the Black Cat can't ever settle down like Peter probably wants or that Peter can never really be there for Felicia in the way she wants. But I don't buy it. And stuff like this is why.

No matter how much bad luck she is, Spider-Man wants and in some ways needs the Black Cat is in his life. And no matter how much she can try and say she's over it, The Black Cat will always find a way to cross paths with her Spider.

In the recent PS4 Spider-Man game, Felicia came back after a stint of going straight to prepare for a major strike back against Hammerhead and the Maggia families. She coerces Spider-Man into another of her games where she steals $50 Million worth of stuff and forces him to chase her around the city to find it all. She leaves the loot behind though, because it was all trick to break into the police evidence lockup and snag her old gear. But she did leave Peter a cool new suit, a reference to the time when Felicia made a new black suit for Peter after giving up his symbiote. You know, so they match.

Felicia's little game comes to fruition when "The Heist" DLC comes out. Felicia strings Spidey along, pretending Hammerhead has her son, strongly implying its his. Ultimately this is revealed to have been a lie of course, another game. Because this, to Felicia, is basically the perfect date night. Spider-Man chases her, they team up, she gets what she wants and runs off into the night. In this case the entire wealth of the Maggia after double crossing Hammerhead. This gets a target on her back instantly. Spider calls her to warn her, leaving Felicia more than a little surprised.

Felicia: I just conned you and here you are trying to save me. How can you be so damn nice all the time?

Spidey: It's not about being nice, it's about doing the right thing! You have so many talents, I wish you'd use them to help someone other than yourself.

Felicia: Yeah well, you should know by now that's not how I roll.

Spidey: People can change, Felicia.

Felicia: Love you, Spider. I'll miss you.

Felicia's penthouse explodes and she appears to die. But eagle eyed players would notice the puff smoke just before the bomb goes off. The Black Cat fakes her death more than Doctor Doom uses robots. Felicia got away, scot-free, with all the money she could ever need or want. She conned Spider-Man, Hammerhead and everyone. She won hands down and can do whatever she wants from now on. No one will be looking for her. Hammerhead's plans to utilize weapons of war to take over the city isn't her problem.

And yet...

Felicia comes back to help Spider-Man, knowing it will basically put her on the radar again given everything she's stolen. She doesn't stay, but she saves him and gives him the means to take Hammerhead down. No matter what anyone thinks of Felicia, especially herself, she is not nearly as incapable of being selfless as one thinks. And this is true of most of her incarnations. Perhaps because the Black Cat will do anything to get what she wants, even if it means turning over a new leaf for her Spider. It's how this all started after all. Selfish Selflessness, it's probably the best middle ground Peter can hope for. But at least it means he can count on her, to be selfish. And that's why she'll always be there for him. Felicia doesn't like to lose the things she has.

I think it also says a lot that many players felt that Peter and Felicia's chemistry was loads more interesting and compelling than his relationship with the estranged version of MJ Spidey has to deal with. And frankly, Felicia being in those stealth sequences would've made a million times more sense. There are some who have even speculated, with no real proof mind you, that Felicia was lying about lying about having a son. That she DOES have one, he just wasn't in danger. But of course, that's unlikely. For the same reason Peter remains hung up on Mary Jane in this game despite the fact most players seem apathetic to them getting back together. Spider-Man being a father out of wedlock is something that Marvel is not really prepared to sign off on. Just as much as they resist him being with someone other than MJ in other media, despite not wanting him to be with her in the comics.

It all seems so arbitrary to me, that they just can't be together because of the iconography of Peter and MJ. Or because she can't love the man the Spider is, which isn't true. Or Spider-Man can't change her or trust her, which also isn't true. If there has ever been a more consistent, sustainable, supportive and bonded character to Peter Parker it has been Felicia Hardy. Romantically or platonically, Felicia has dropped things to be there for Peter. And the idea that they are toxic for each other has never rung true. People can change, and this romance proves it. They just need to be given the chance to do so, and have the right person along for the ride. And the forced separation feels more arbitrary when you take into consideration, that Marvel has kept MJ and Peter apart for over a decades worth of comics and has never bit the bullet on simply just letting Felicia and Peter be together until now.

Some have claimed the new romance is out of the blue, that Spencer was setting things up to undo OMD, and that Wells just pulled this off out of nowhere. Well... no. Because those scenes where Felicia brought Peter out of his coma, the re-unmasking, the re-entry into his life through a number of adventures... Spencer either wrote those himself or they were written in conjunction with his run. People have confirmation bias, I'm no different, I don't claim to be. However, everyone has wanted OMD to be undone since the storyline first concluded. Marvel has played with fans' heartstrings that it will do so and it has prevented Peter from moving on because if he's not in a committed sustainable relationship, there's always hope that Mephisto's deal will be undone! And it has not helped anyone in the slightest to keep buying that horse crap.

The fact is I'm honestly sick of this "will they won't they" garbage from Marvel on undoing One More Day and I think more people should be by this point. Let me make this perfectly clear, even if they undo the deal... they're not getting remarried. Marvel simply is not interested in going down that road for Spider-Man again. Even with the new Spider-Verse movie showing Peter B. with a kid. Because the problem has never been they won't let Peter be married to MJ. The problem is they won't let Peter grow. The problem is they won't let him move on and change. They stick him in a misery spin cycle and just never let him out.

Why not just end the charade? Let Peter grow. Let Felicia grow. They both already want to. They both already desire to. And they both have already done so for the other. Felicia has been there to challenge and push him, while also protecting and supporting him. And Peter has undeniably changed Felicia as a person. She may never have the same moral compass, but she's no longer as lost as she once was. Her selfish cynicism is kept in check when it comes to Peter. And his selfless self-destruction is held back thanks to Felicia. Why deny them the chance to both be truly happy? Especially when they make each other better people. Why deny chemistry that is so perfectly balanced in its contradiction?

I don't begrudge people for preferring Mary Jane being with Spider-Man. I'm more or less at peace with the reality that some pairings are just thought of as the default and nothing is really gonna change that. I prefer Rogue with Deadpool, that doesn't change the fact she'll always be with Gambit. What I wanted to stress with this isn't so much an argument to ship it so much as the ultimate reason I simply can't let these two go.

For me, SpiderCat speaks on some primal level, more than wish fulfillment, but the idea of growth. That love can hold you up in your worst moments, or change you for the better. That it can make you look in the mirror and ask, who do you want to be? What do you want? What is worth changing for? Felicia found her answer, a nerdy, selfless, eternally tormented wall-crawler, who should know better than to go chasing her trying to save her from herself... but does it anyway. How could she not return the favor and be there for him? It's hard to say whether he caught her in his web, or if she just loves walking across his path. What is certain is they are bonded to each other, in one way or another. And that's the only thing about either character that I don't think can ever truly change.

Well this was a long one, and probably a lot more introspective and personally relatable than I thought. I think now have a better understanding of what has always drawn me to these two. And also now think I have discovered the song that describes them both so... thanks Taylor Swift! Whatever future this rekindled romance holds in the comics, we'll see how it shakes out. But I can enjoy the ride even if some of it has been rocky. Not the first time I've had to deal with that.

If you're still here, congrats, you've made it to the end. And I hope I didn't completely bore you all with this fairly overly comprehensive look at a pairing spanning various mediums and continuities. But I like to be thorough. So I hope you can appreciate the amount of work I put into this whole thing for you all. If I ever do this again I can only hope it won't be so... all encompassing. But I make no promises.

One thing I know though, I'm probably gonna be riding and dying these two forever. The Cat and her Spider, the Self and Selfless. Beautiful in the mess they are apart and the whole they are together.

[faunusrights]

The scarlatinas are a big family with aunts and cousins visiting a lot right? Have you got an idea of how their house looks? (also could you release the Scarlatina family descriptions you gave me to the public?)

well, really the scarlatina family isn’t big in the, uh, family tree sense; it’s not like Velvet has 100+ cousins and that sort of stuff, but they’re big in the sense that they all live together, hjdshkjfsd. so it’s a big household! sixteen people! it’s nothing to sniff at! so the aunts and cousins dont visit, really, because they literally live next door, lmao.

the scarlatina homestead is split into two houses that keep getting added to every once in a while. the bigger one (aka the first) has georgette, rajah, taffeta, ash, chiffon, velvet, satin and hickory live there, whilst the second (rapidly growing) house has cotton, tenné, hawthorn (+ hawthorn’s wife, saffron, and their kid, fir), ramie (+ her wife, auburn) and birch. that said, the houses pretty much act as one, and people tend to drift in and out of either of em at will.

the houses are similar in terms of their footprint, since they sorta both evolved abt the same time for the same needs (oh shit a kid oh shit a marriage oh shit ANOTHER kid), and save for two smaller second storeys for storage/spare room needs, almost the entire thing is on the ground floor (heat rises, baby). they share a big old shed/workshop which ash lingers in CONSTANTLY, as well as two little gardens where they grow their own produce. they also have some solar panels and a huge windmill out front, both of which usually power their houses since they don’t typically draw a TON of energy, though they do have a generator that runs on fuel as a backup.

okay if we’re describing the whole family im gonna shunt this under a cut this goes on for a while dsfjhgjhskfgd

GEORGETTE SCARLATINA: the matriarch of the family! well, sorta; she’s let her own daughters sort of have run of the place in her stead, because she’s “retired” now and that means she mostly sits back and enjoys not Working all the time. back in her heyday the woman was an absolutely powerhouse, 24/7 on the grind, but even now she’s very… well, she’s still a force to be reckoned with, really, and whilst she isn’t uuuuuuuh Strict, per se, she’s very disciplined, and no matter what her kids and grandkids choose to do, she expects them to really throw themselves into it. weiss is both terrified of her and desperately wants her approval, which isn’t hard to get, but weiss is, how they say, dumbass. georgette is also the reason why taffeta and cotton are… Like That. like what? stubborn loud fuzzy taking zero shit, etc,

RAJAH SCARLATINA: scarlatina women seem to always land themselves timid men and nobody is sure how, or why, but georgette wasnt the first to start this trend and shes def not the one to end it. rajah is pretty mild-mannered, but like georgette, never rested when people needed help. he and ash (and tenné) get on real well because they’re happy enough to mind their own Fuckin Business whilst their wives barrel around with all the grace of rampaging bulls. still, rajah’s also very much a product of his time as an early settler to menagerie; he’s never really… happy with everything, because they lost so much leaving for this shithole, so he’s always kinda… mildly sad about stuff, but the same can be said of any faunus his age tbh.

COTTON SCARLATINA: the older of the two Scarlatina Daughters, cotton is… manic. full of energy, always looking to burn it off. she’s an optimist at heart since she and taffeta came to menagerie when they were ten and therefore are more accustomed to the island, and her primary objective is making a good home and a good start for the family. she’s not too interested in politics or revolution, mainly because she’s the type of woman who plans by meals and mouths to feed, if u get me. she’s also pretty smug because her side of the family are rly growing up (TWO wives. a GRANDKID. its ALL COMING UP COTTON) and it means she gets to spend more time doing stuff she’s passionate abt!!!!!!! nice!!!!!!!!

TENNÉ SCARLATINA: i put an accent on his name and i regret it every day of my life. anyway. tenné isn’t entirely sure how he ended up with just The Most scarlatina, but he did and, well, there’s no backing out now. tenné‘s a deer faunus and was around cotton’s age when he and his family moved with the scarlatinas to menagerie, so he and cotton have always been close. he’s very patient and doesn’t always have a lot to say, but he and cotton are a great team when it comes to managing the entire homestead together. again, he’s not a political type, and just wants to keep his corner of things safe in uncertain times. he always pretty rarely leaves the homestead for anything, so he’s also kinda reclusive, but so is cotton! it all works out!

HAWTHORN SCARLATINA: i won’t go into the partners lest i Die but hawthorne is the eldest child of cotton and tenné. got antlers like his da, and he’s a pretty big fellow by scarlatina standards (that is to say, not thin enough to fly away in a stiff breeze). hawthorn is… well, long and short, he’s a himbo, but he’s also a pretty devoted homesteader (this is a trend! watch this space). his wife, saffron, was from desert sands and they’d been dating for a While before they got married, and they’re the first to have kids of all the first-gen* scarlatinas. he’s got cotton’s love of the family and tenné’s sort of quiet offset nature, though he was pretty rowdy as a kid (he grew out of that once velvet broke his nose tho).

RAMIE AND BIRCH SCARLATINA: twins! twins! oh my god! twins!!! fraternal twins!!!

ramie is the older of the two (my friends who were w/ me when we played the RWBY ttrpg will Remember Her) and she’s. well she’s surprisingly enough like taffeta that cotton jokes that clearly she’s gone and had the wrong kid. she’s very Firm abt things and has a way of naturally corralling people to follow after her, if only because this bitch has enough common sense for herself and, like, five people. she was also voted Best Lesbian Cousin five years in a row, and she and auburn get on like a house on fire. they’re also very into PDA, don’t mind them.

birch is the younger of the two and ramie always calls them the emo one. they’re not really so much into people as they are into their crafts and their plants (their bedroom looks like a greenhouse dont mind them) and they have tenné’s nature and georgette’s focus on working all the goddamn time. they’re good company is you strike up convo in the areas they have interest in, but sometimes it’s like talking to a brick wall. ramie is very fluent in their noncommittal grunts of disinterest, though.

FIR SCARLATINA: he’s one year old. he’s a baby. idk shit.

TAFFETA SCARLATINA: here’s the bitch we’ve all been waiting for

taffeta is like georgette if georgette was somehow more like herself. whereas the other half of the family are more core to the values of the clan, taffeta’s a tribe woman, and when she wakes up in the morning her focus is always on the wider community. taffeta’s very much just a machine of intent; she farms, she builds, she repairs, she trades, she gives, she travels, she does SO much and she’s very much the face of the family at present (which is why ppl hear the name ‘scarlatina and go ‘oh god’ w/o realising the other half wont bother u even slightly djsfggjsdfh). she’s STURDY she’s FLUFFY and she has zero qualms abt putting u in a headlock if u deserve one. dont test her. that said, taffeta’s a very reasonable woman; i’ll eventually go more into that at some nebulous point in the future hdjsgfjghksfd

ASH SCARLATINA: it’s everyone’s favourite da! i’ll TRY and keep this short. ash (MUCH LIKE THE MEN SO FAR) is just. so chilled out. can everyone PLEASE be quiet. well, he didn’t used to be – ash lived in kuo kuana before meeting taffeta and had such severe anxiety abt crowds that the boy could barely put a sentence together, let alone much else, not in the scarlatina household, he’s very calm and hard to ruffle. ash really just likes to do his thing, which is everything taffeta doesn’t do; he cooks, he watches the kids, he fixes stuff in the workshop, and he’s big into photography of the family, which is where velvet gets it from! ash is basically taffeta’s counterbalance, but being with her means he’s also become pretty well known about the town (if not for. entirely the reasons you think,)

CHIFFON SCARLATINA: the eldest of ash and taffeta’s kids! chiffon is a weird one; she takes a lot after ash in that she’s pretty reserved and doesn’t let a lot bother her, and when stuff does bother her, she expresses it pretty quietly. also, unlike her cousins who are all homebodies, chiffon was the first kid to actually leave the homestead for kuo kuana to work on the docks during a biiiig overhaul and extension of the boardwalk. she wanted to get out and see the world, but human tourists really out her off the idea, so after about a year and a bit she ended up returning home where she’s stayed ever since. after taffeta retires, she’ll probably be the next face people know and relate to the name scarlatina, tbh.

VELVET SCARLATINA: do i. do i have to say anything about her. you KNOW this bitch. anyway. velvet’s got taffeta’s stubborn sense and ash’s compassion, wants to travel like chiffon, has enough determination to just keep going when it gets her down. extremely stupid. herbo energy. trans jock. has fists will punch. fluffy. fuzzy. hot. dumbass. seriously, do i have to say anything else?

SATIN SCARLATINA: it’s a baby! just kidding, she’s 11. satin is pretty young but she’s at that age where she’s tryna figure out the world for herself. she’s already shaping up to be a lot like taffeta – bold and brash and determined – and much like her older siblings, politics is already playing into her interests. satin really wants to see vale and her tribelands, but after what happened to velvet at uni, taffeta’s trying to… well, not talk her out of it, but encourage her, gently, to reconsider. it’s not working. she and chiffon get on spectacularly well, and she and velvet get on ever better.

HICKORY SCARLATINA: okay, NOW baby. well………. okay, yeah, he’s 7. hickory is a little dreamer, never really in the present. he’s super into making stuff and helping out the adults around the homestead, and he’s not really noticed enough to be infuriated like satin, so he’s got that youthful, uh, innocence, let’s say, that means right now? life is GREAT! eventually he’ll find out that no, it’s not all that great, tbh, but right now he’s a champ at feeding the rabbits, pulling up veggies, and finishing his plate. good job hickory!

AND THAT’S THE FAM (save for the inlaws). theyre great and i think abt em all the time. could u tell? could u tell, sharkie,

*so i looked up the whole ‘generations’ thing to check if i was right and it turns out both first-gen and second-gen have incompatible definitions (thanks america) but for the sake of not going nuts, all of cotton’s and taffeta’s kids r first gen and fir is second-gen. u could also argue cotton and taff are first-gen on account of being pretty young when they came to menag but honestly it’s too complicated. lets just leave it at that sdfjhgksdf

[skaldish]

Sigyn UPG!

February 24, 2019

Oh my gosh you guys I had the most EXCEPTIONAL experience last night and I just have to share it all! And you know me, I’m not one to share this kind of personal stuff as much these days.

After scoping online for as much as I could about Sigyn and coming up with very little, I decided to leave an offering for her and actually invite her into my home to get to know her myself. And boy howdy did I get some UPG from that experience! Because so little is known about this goddess I’ve decided to talk about it.

Disclaimer: This is ALL UPG. The only thing we know about Sigyn in lore is that she’s Loki’s wife and that she held a bowl above his head to catch dripping snake venom until Ragnarok. That’s it. The following is derived from my experiences, and you can take it or leave it as you wish.

—

The best way to tell this is to tell it like a story, so please account for metaphor—this stuff didn’t LITERALLY happen. Let’s be smart here.

Anyways.

It began when I invited Sigyn into my home with an offering of chocolate-covered strawberries, which seemed to make the most sense out of what I had on hand. One of the first things she did when she arrived was express great approval for how much I was spoiling her husband, particularly honing in on the framed watercolor I made for Loki that I keep on his side of the altar.

She and Loki were both there, and a few things became obvious at once: Sigyn’s got a really bright energy to her, and she and Loki are MADLY in love. Given any opportunity Loki would sweep her off her feet, or dance with her, or carry her, as if to say, “Who’s the arm-burden now?”

Like a goddang conversation over tea I began to ask Sigyn about herself—”So, uh, what do you DO?��� My intention was to figure out what she was the goddess OF, but her reply went something like, “Oh I take care of the boys and the garden, sometimes I paint.” And I was like “huh?” because that’s not what I expected.

And then

AND THEN

Friends, there were IMAGES that came to mind after that moment. A cottage in a meadow, charming as heck, all wooden on the inside with carefully organized clutter and colorful glass lamps. Overgrown but well-loved and cared-for plants. A sprawling garden, well-tended to, complete with at least two garden cats. Feelings of a mild summer night and fireflies, but also the gentle cool breeze of a spring day. It all had the vibe of something Hayao Miyazaki would draw, and something Jason Mraz would sing.

Sigyn IS artistic—actually, I think the whole damn household is. Instruments everywhere and art supplies. The house is FULL of DIY furniture and things. I got the very strong impression that Loki acts as Sigyn’s muse, happy to be WHATEVER she desires in order to spark joy and inspiration in her (this is my experience with Loki as well! I think he loves artists). It’s such a lovely relationship I could die.

In the kitchen I was shown the tea cupboard, and OH MY GODS YOU GUYS this woman has so much TEA! A tea for every reason! Colds, relaxation, stomach pains, sleep, you name it! And it struck me right then that Sigyn was very prolific at low magic: Kitchen witchery, green witchcraft, herbal remedies, etc. You know, more of the earth-based things as opposed to Frigg’s and Freyja’s lofty Seidr.

At this point I began to get a sense of what Sigyn looks like. Bear in mind, this is just how my brain interprets her since deity appearances are metaphorical to me: A woman on the cusp of entering middle age, with a middle-sized build, dark blond hair, hazel eyes, olive-toned and sun-darkened skin, and a couple of sun-spots and moles. Her face is charming and charactered, but definitely NOT the “young maiden” or “hollywood beauty” I previously imagined. She has some serious Cool Aunt vibes to her, actually.

As far as personality goes, she’s fun and playful at her default, bright as a sunflower, but her eyes and smile can quickly take on a cunning look to foretell some quip she’d say. She’s sharp. I got the sense she’s very fond of doublespeak—saying one thing and meaning another:

“Angrboda and I exchange recipes.”—She means witchcraft methods.

“He’s a Jotunn. He needs his exercise.”—The reply to my question about whether or not it bugs her that Loki’s so promiscuous.

(Also, fun fact, I asked her about that nasty “child bride” UPG and she LAUGHED and patted her [child-bearing] hips and said something like, “You better believe I’m a WOMAN!”)

A VERY good pick for Loki. She’s more grounded than he is but still just as bent on having fun. It’s such an amazing relationship I could die and I want to protect it forever.

This all being said, I quickly began to associate Sigyn with some of the following:

Low magic: kitchen witchery, green magic, etc.

Tea (all kinds)

DIY crafting

Art for art’s sake

Gardening and cooking, particularly as magical acts

The tidiness and happiness of a home

Personal balance

Steadfastness, resilience, and personal fortitude

And here’s some miscellaneous UPG:

Sigyn’s bisexual, which pairs well with Loki’s gender-nonconformity.

I guess she has tea with Angrboda from time to time and the two are good friends.

She considers Angrboda’s children her children as well.

Vali and Narfi are young adults and Sigyn’s doing a damn fine job making sure they don’t get into trouble at their rowdy and promiscuous age. xD

She’s not much into the “rabble of the Aesir” these days and I don’t blame her for it.

I now want Sigyn to be my aunt and tell me vibrant stories on her porch during a summer rainstorm with candles and tea.

Even if you don’t agree with this UPG (and you don’t have to) I wanted to provide it here in case some of you find it useful. It really, really bugged me that all Sigyn was defined as is “Loki’s wife,” and framed in senses that reek of 50’s-nostalgia. I’m glad I finally got to know her on my own terms and I hope we’ll become great friends. ^^ She’s really a wonderful goddess and deserves tons of love.

[birdybirp]

1&2🌼

1. Are you Named After Anyone?

First name, no. I asked my mom once, hoping for deep meaning behind giving me such a generic first name, and she said they were all just sitting around while she was pregnant and my sweet Scottish grandmother just said a name and everyone was like “Yeah, sure that works”

MY MIDDLE NAME THOUGH. 

I’m named for my great aunt Elizabeth, who passed away from MS before I was born. She was a crafting QUEEN and we still have a ton of stuff that was hers. I have this huge chest that she left me in her will, because my mom was pregnant at the time and she wanted to give me something. That fucker is an absolute unit and it’s gorgeous and I love it. 

The only story I know/remember about Aunt Liz is that, when she was chairbound with MS, they were building a house across the street from her. My grandma would come spend a few hours every day with her and one day, before my grandma left, she just said “Oh, Louise, before you go can you please move my chair over to the window? The construction workers are outside and one of them has a nice ass.”

AND I AM HER LEGACY APPARENTLY

2. Do you Have/Want Children

No to both. The idea of being pregnant scares the living shit out of me and my depression is genetic on both sides and congealed into a monster when it got to me. Can’t really justify passing that down. 

My life goal is to be that one aunt that’s vaguely mysterious, drinks wine at family gatherings, and is somehow always traveling. 

Thank you for the ask!! 

This is from an ask game that you can find here 

[dreamstormdragon]

OC Snippet Tag

Rules of the game: Pick an OC and answer the following 7 Qs!

I got tagged by @theblueskyphoenix

As for an OC… Darnit making me choose between all my babies.

I pick my Spider-Verse OC Athena Parker, because I’ve been wanting to do more with her but am on a bit of a “Don’t do anything new until after nano” so… Yeah.

1. Your OC is at a jazz bar when they see a mysterious, alluring dame being pestered by a joe that just won’t let up. What do they do?

She, really wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place. She was just there to make a trade of goods, with a seller because it was cheaper than shipping.

However, she wasn’t about to sit there and watch that happen. The girl stood up, adjusting her gloves, taking aim.

The guy opened his mouth, for another pickup line, when he was silenced by a glob of web across his mouth. He let out a muffled yell of alarm, as he started looking around, expecting New York’s favorite webslinger to be hanging around the bar somewhere.

Athena tapped the woman’s shoulder gesturing for her to sit next to her.

“Thank you… I have no idea where that came from though.”

She smiled.

“Maybe there’s a friendly neighborhood spider chilling around. Root beer?”

“Please.”

2. The world will be destroyed in three days. What does your OC do with their remaining time?

The world, was going to collapse in three days. No one had expected that blasted device, to be recreated in another universe… Let alone a universe full of danger like no other.

“This is going to be tough.” She remarked, looking down at the ruined city, her hair blowing in the wind.

The man beside her, narrowed his eyes, giving her a nudge.

“You wanna sit and wait for the world to die, or get home in time for dinner?”

Athena smirked, pulling down her mask.

“Let’s stop the zombie apocalypse. I wanna punch zombie you in the face.”  She gave a thumbs up, showing she had a capsule in one hand. “We can make a cure rain right?”

Peter patted her head, before pulling his own mask down.

“Let’s roll.”

3. Your OC spends the night in a haunted house for a bet, only to realize that the rumours might be true… What do they do?

She hummed a little under her breath, her mind trying to block out any of the noises coming from around her.

Yarn over, pull through, yarn over pull through…

The air around her went cold, as something icy grabbed her shoulder.

“I, swear if you interrupt my counting I’m gonna sock you.” She growled, turning as a large misty apparition shrunk down behind the couch. “That’s what I thought!”

“Boss…” A voice whispered. “What do we do? She just gets mad!”

“Take her dang yarn!”

Athena held up a spray mister, meant for plants.

“You touch my yarn, I cleanse you out of this dimension.”

4. A character your OC cares deeply about has just passed away. How do they handle their grief?

She supposed, it was too good to be true. To believe she’d ever have a full and happy family, where no one was going to disappear from her life.

She sobbed harder, burying her face into a bundle in her arms. His spare suit, his mask… It still smelled like the laundry soap he used for it and baby powder.

MJ was downstairs, dealing with the press but Athena… Athena couldn’t go down there. It was just a reminder, that in the end…

 Spider-Man, chose to save her instead of himself.

Dad… Why? Why did you do this to me?

 She sat up, slowly staring down at the mask. No more night time runs in their casual clothes, no more sitting up late watching movies while making jokes.

No more dramatic sighing whenever we go to the craft store…

No more tucking me in at night… No more kissing Mom goodbye before patrol…

“You were supposed to be there for me… I’m not ready for this part…. I’m not ready,...” She growled, her voice shaking as she punched the mask down into her mattress. “You were supposed to give me away at my wedding you jerk!”

She sunk down into her bed, curling up.

“You… You were the only one who got what I’m going through…”

Dad….

Please come back.

Please let this be a bad dream I can wake up from…

I need you… I’m scared.

Daddy, I’m scared…

I’m scared of the dark...

 5. Your OC walks into a coffee shop. What kind of coffee do they order?

Athena hummed a little, strolling into her favorite shop.

“Ah, if it isn’t the weaver!” The barista laughed. “How hard did your dad’s credit card cry this time?”

Athena grinned, holding up a hefty bag from her favorite yarn store.

“Pretty bad. Can I have a mocha frapp with extra java chips, six pumps of vanilla and caramel?” She asked.

The barista winced.

“Oh… Oh, you are terrible. You want actual coffee in that?”

Athena stuck her tongue out.

“Nope. Give me my overly sugary drink fix please!”

6. Your OC finds themselves in a financial pinch - they need money, and fast. Who do they go to or what do they do to get the dough?

Athena sighed heavily, looking up from her laptop, to the people across the room. Her mother met her eyes, as she shook her head getting up quickly. She wanted no part of this upcoming war.

“Daaaad.” She called, in the most sugary sweet voice she could manage. “How much do you love me?”

Peter didn’t look up from the report he was typing up for the Bugle. “How much is this gonna cost me?”

“Just… a hundred and fifty…”

“For what?”

“Freshly dyed, baby alpaca yarn… and angora in some beautiful shades.” She batted her eyes, trying to get him to look her in the eyes. “I promise, I won’t ask for anything else!”

“Athena… I’m gonna teach you a lesson my aunt May taught me.” Peter looked up at her with a stern look. “I’m not made of money. I’ll drop cash gladly on your yarn that doesn’t cost me an arm and a leg but if you want that really fancy crap, either wait until the holidays or your birthday. Or find a way around it. But I am not dropping that much on new yarn, when you have tons of it upstairs.”

Athena sighed heavily, looking down at the skeins she oh so desperately wanted. She already could imagine the sweaters and shawls she could create from them.

Then… she got an idea… Athena looked up at him, giving another innocent look.

“Dad? Can I have an etsy store?”

“By all means, if it gets rid of the yarn you’re stashing in my spider shed go for it.”

A few days later, Athena was listing batches of Spider-Man related memorabilia on her new etsy store, from jackets to order by commission, to premade little plushies of the famous webslinger… and a few of her own persona.

“You think people really are gonna buy Arachne stuff?” She fidgeted, looking at the tiny plushie in her hands, that resembled her costume.

Peter patted her head, taking it and slipping her a twenty. She looked up at him in surprise.

“I know at least one person who will.” He winked, giving her a grin. “I think I’ll make her my little desk guardian at work.”

Athena giggled, hugging him tightly.

“Love you Dad.”

“Love you too Weaver.”

7.  Your OC somehow obtains the ability to time travel. Where do they go, and what do they do?

She was going to stop this. She had been so determined to stop it… she didn’t think about what would happen when she did. She saw her younger self, milling around a shop room, singing under her breath.

Before she had been bitten by a radioactive spider, dropped into her dimension… while it sucked her newly divorced future parent into another.

She had been intending to jump back, to stop the divorce from happening in the first place… but it made her pause.

Her younger self, had been so alone… She had her group home, yes. Her fiber art club at school.

But years of accumulating skills, taught to her by people who had said “we promise this is the last home.” Had hurt…

Arachne stared at Athena, spotting a familiar bright green, blue and black spider crawling along the wall.

Soon, I’m gonna get bit… Then in a few months, Mom and Dad are gonna drop in on my life...

Gosh and I was gonna mess up a good thing I had…

I love my parents… but I know if I stop that, then I stop this.

Then I stop my family from existing…

So, she turned away. She jumped back to her own time, throwing away the device that was letting her make the jumps. Trading her costume, for her favorite dress and jacket, bolting down the streets towards home.

Home, with her room that had the special shelves, just for her ever growing collections of yarn and thread.

Home, with the old school sewing machine her aunt May had left to MJ when she passed.

Home, with her weaving loom and her knitting needles and crochet hooks…

Home…

With her parents.

ooooo

Aaaaahhhh this was fun, to explore Athena a little bit, since I do wanna do more for my spider gal. For now… This shall be it. This was fun!

Let’s see…

I taaaaag….

No one. >83

[metalandmagi]

December End of the Year Media Madness!

It’s a new month and a new year! And what a crazy month it was what with Tumblr imploding and all. But I’ll still throw this on here just because I’ll be on this site until it literally boots me out. But I do have a twitter now…@metalandmagi where I’m also barely active at all.

Anyway, why make top 10 lists for the entire year when I can just ramble about all the media I consumed this month? There’s only a marginal amount of holiday things on here by my standards!

November media

Movies!

Give me some credit there’s only four Christmas movies on here.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?: A documentary about Mr. Rogers starting with the birth of the television show to his death. This is the fluffiest most heartwarming thing I could have possibly picked to watch on Christmas, and I encourage everyone, even people who hate documentaries and/or never grew up with Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, to watch it. There’s a lot of important messages about acceptance, dealing with tragedy, and mental health that people can learn from and feel good about. Not to mention how he completely revolutionized children’s television. So yeah, he was awesome.10/10

Spider-man Into the Spider-verse: When a rip between dimensions is opened, a bunch of different spider themed superheroes from every comic fan’s wet dreams all get together to close it. Guys I’m not that big of a Spider-man fan, but dang this movie was a ton of fun. I came for the amazing visual effects and stayed for the amazing...everything else. The music, the performances, and the story were all top notch. Also I now have a new favorite Nick Cage role. If you thought the trailer made the animation look interesting, it was just the tip of the iceberg because it is the most visually interesting movie I’ve seen in the last three years. I strongly suggest any fan of animation...or even any fan of great stories and movies in general go see it even if you’re not that big on Spider-Man. Now I’m demanding a Spider-verse Aunt May movie because I have so many questions! And the post credits scene was the best out of any Marvel movie. Period. 10,000/10

The Wiz (2015 musical): I should start making a section for musicals or plays instead of just lumping it in with the movies. It’s the Wizard of Oz...but cool. I’ve never seen any iteration of The Wiz and it seems like I’m constantly hearing about it. So I watched the 2015 version of the 1975 Broadway musical that NBC aired. And yeah it’s good. There were some great performances. But I wasn’t very impressed with the songs themselves, and it’s not really the same without a dog along for the ride, but whatever. 7.5/10

Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle: The surprisingly fun reboot/sequel thing of Jumanji where four teenagers get stuck in a video game that follows every “stuck in a video game” trope you can imagine but actually does it well. It’s a sweet, funny romp through the jungle with some great comedic performances. I really don’t have much to say about it except that this movie is better than it has any right to be. 8/10

The Christmas Chronicles: Two children stow away on Kurt Russell’s, I mean Santa’s sleigh and go on a dangerous, balls to the wall adventure throughout Chicago trying to save Christmas or something. After everyone started talking about how crazy this Netflix movie is I had to watch it to verify if it is indeed as wild as they said. And yes...yes it is. It is so laughably ridiculous and questionable that it’s impossible to actually hate. The elves are some unholy mixture of minions and gremlins, one of the children is a literal felon that no one is concerned about, and Kurt Russell is super into the role but has some sort of thing about fat-shaming Santa. I just...have so many questions! But it was certainly a trip, so I’d have to recommend it just so you too can witness the insanity. -10 “savvy, straight-talking St. Nicks”/10

Arthur Christmas: No, it’s not a Christmas special related to the aardvark cartoon! This is the 2011 animated movie that no one remembers exists. Santa’s clumsy but enthusiastic son Arthur must deliver a forgotten present in less than two hours while the rest of his family deals with some Arrested Development style family drama. This is by far the most underrated Christmas movie of all time; even I didn’t realize it was actually good until I watched it for the first time in 2016! The fun road-trip style plot and the entertaining characters were victims of bad marketing. Arthur is hilariously endearing, and there was so much heart and effort put into it that I can find new things to notice every time I watch it. Not to mention the amazingly animated opening spy sequence! And also Mrs. Claus is secretly a total badass and Bryony the elf is the coolest female character in a Christmas movie ever. The movie’s message of old vs new is nothing we haven’t seen before, but I really don’t care because at the heart of it all, it’s about making people happy on Christmas. If you’re like me and just assumed this movie would suck...or didn’t know it exists, please give it a chance. It’s not perfect, but it’s worth seeing. 9/10

Neo Yokio Pink Christmas: Yes, it’s the Christmas special for Neo Yokio. No I cannot accurately describe it with mere words. There’s a rich bachelor gift exchange, demon possession, and pompous French aunts slinging insults at each other. It is unironically my favorite holiday episode of a show ever, and to me it’s the best Christmas special ever made. I thought I was prepared for the absolute bat-shit ride I would go on, but no...I wasn’t even close. At this point I don’t know if it’s written like this on purpose or if some divine twist of fate made the executives believe this is truly brilliant television. Either way, it is a masterpiece in its own right. There’s even a somewhat intriguing plot and a message about gift giving and capitalism under all the crazy! If you haven’t jumped down the rabbit hole yet, I implore you to watch the insanity that is Neo Yokio and follow it up with Pink Christmas because it will truly make your holiday season. 100,000 demon DNA drugs out of 100,000!

Die Hard: Nothing says Christmas like terrorists taking over a skyscraper and Bruce Willis having to take them all down by himself. Yeah...so I’ve never seen Die Hard before, but this is one of those movies that is so famous that I felt like I’d already absorbed everything important through cultural osmosis. And even though it’s pretty good, I would have liked it better if I didn’t know what was going to happen. My only real complaint is that I think it goes on way too long. More than anything it just made me sad to remember that Alan Rickman is gone. And it bothers me so much that John McClane goes through this building that’s under construction WITHOUT SHOES! 8/10

Books!

The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis: The 4th/6th book in the Chronicles of Narnia, in which Eustace Scrubb and his classmate Jill Pole go to the underworld to find King Caspian’s long lost son. Even though my children- the Pevensies aren’t in it, I actually think this book is my favorite of the series so far. Jill and Eustace are both sassy enough to play off each other, Puddleglum absolutely hilarious, and the book actually has a clear cut plot! It reads much more like a Greek myth than a children’s fairy tale since there aren’t nearly as many of Lewis’s trademark author interjections, and you know...it’s a literal journey to the underworld. And can I just say that it’s super refreshing to have an author write two main characters WITH ZERO ROMANTIC INTENTIONS! Especially since they’re freaking children! Now I just wish Disney had continued the movies even more! 9/10

Queen of Air and Darkness by Cassandra Clare: I’m going to do this with only minor spoilers. It’s the final book in The Dark Artifices trilogy. Will Emma and Julian break the parabatai bond? Will the reflection of the modern day American government- I mean the Cohort/ the Clave fuck up the relationships between Shadowhunters and Downworlders forever? You’ll have to suffer like the rest of us to find out! In my opinion, 99% of this book is amazing, but in the last 50 pages there are some...bullshit ways of solving problems. Like everything that went down with the Cohort in Idris. Not to mention we’ve been so invested in the parabatai curse and how Julian and Emma’s bond would go down and...let’s just say the resolution was way too easy. And if you thought Clare’s other finales were jam packed, you ain't seen nothin’ yet. My copy is 880 pages and there was still more stuff that I wanted to happen...like any sort of scene between Dru and Ash...or an ending between Kit and Ty that doesn’t make me want to cry (the Wicked Powers is going to be brutal). But the rest of that 99% is mind-blowing! There’s so much good I can say that it mostly outranks anything I didn’t like...I mean we finally got a Malec wedding and a proper polyamorous relationship for the Angel’s sake! It may be my least favorite of her finales by default but it was still a fun ride! 9/10

TV shows!

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018): An elite soldier finds a sword that can transform her into a super buff magical girl who helps princesses take down the forces of evil. It’s a reboot of the 1980s cartoon, and holy crap it’s AMAZING! I have a whole new group of children to adopt, each episode is entertaining in its own way, and there’s so...many...good...ships! And it gives Steven Universe a run for its money with the care that went into making every character a different kind of warrior, which I love because the cast is 99% female. My only real complaint is that I never warmed up to Catra because she wasn’t particularly sympathetic to me from the beginning. But I understand why some people love her. If you love well crafted adventurous character driven cartoons and haven’t watched it yet WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?  10/10

Nailed It Holiday: Yes, my favorite baking show (and by that I mean the only baking show I watch) has a holiday season out on Netflix, in which newbie bakers are tasked with making incredibly professional desserts with a very short time limit. And whoever makes the best treat gets 10,000 dollars. I’ve talked about this show before in my June media madness, and I don’t know what it is but I’m so addicted to it. 10/10

Brooklyn nine-nine (season 5): Come on we all know the cop sitcom. It’s the best sitcom. Just in general it’s the best. Great characters that subvert expectations, great humor, and a lot of heart. I’ve known that this show is supposed to be amazing for years, but I only started watching it a few months ago. And since I couldn’t find season 5 anywhere...I got a Hulu subscription just to watch it before season 6 comes out. That’s how good this show is. 10/10

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (season 2): Our favorite underdog comedian is back, and she’s slowly gaining popularity and doing...stuff. Like going on tour. And hanging out with Zachary Levi. Yes, this season is great, but my problem with this series is that every character aside from Midge and Susie are the fucking worst, especially the parents. Midge’s parents suck, Joel’s parents suck, Midge and Joel are appropriately neglectful parents for the time period...I could go on. And it’s not even in a funny way; like it’s just disgusting to watch these power dynamics. Not to mention how old the comedic bits for the parents get (how many times can we hear about Joel needing to date or Midge needing to get married?!) Yes, I realize that we’re supposed to be annoyed AND YES I realize that this is a product of culture and how society was, but none of the parents have any redeeming qualities. In episode one, we’re led to believe that Midge’s parents will grow and change through the season and they never do! At least there are moments where Joel can kind of be redeeming and expand on his actual character before he reverts back to being an asshole. Anyway, my thoughts are pretty much the same as the first season. It’s funny and interesting to watch, but it can be ridiculously frustrating when you hate almost all the characters!  8/10

Fuller House (season 4): Yes I do watch the ridiculous Netflix reboot of Full House. And yes, it is absolutely terrible! I really really hate it! But will I stop watching it? Let’s just say you can pry this pile of garbage from my cold dead hands. I don’t know if I’d call this a guilty pleasure or a hate watch type of show... it’s certainly not so bad it’s good territory like Neo Yokio...but Full House was pretty much my entire childhood. And yes, the original show is also not great. I loved it as a kid, and it was my first real exposure to a non-traditional family in live action, but yeah it doesn’t age well. What I’m trying to say is...I have no good reason for watching this.

I don’t mean to say that there’s nothing good about it, especially this season. They really back off on the more cringe-worthy catch phrases, Stephanie being aware of how stupid the writing is and constantly pointing it out is actually funny, their Christmas episode was surprisingly genuine, and they impressed me by actually make two female characters try and work through their difficulties instead of pitting them against each other for laughs. It has its moments, just like the original but definitely not enough to make up for the worst of it. Maybe this generation of children will like it the way lots of my generation used to like Full House...but yeah it’s awful, I hate it so much. -1 missing Tanner child out of 3

Voltron Legendary Defender (season 8) SPOILERS: It’s the final season of Netflix’s Voltron, and boy it was...something. I didn’t want to make this a big rant/defense of the show...but I feel like I have to highlight some things because this fandom is a shithole that refuses to see the good in anything.

There is so much good and so much...not good I can say about it, so here’s a couple things. I know this show didn’t go the direction anyone wanted, but that doesn’t make it bad. In addition to the stunning fight scenes and music, the performances this season were just amazing! I literally wanted to cry every other episode even though sometimes I didn’t know why the fuck something was happening. I don’t know how I feel about Honerva’s plan. I understand her motivation, but I was constantly questioning how we got from point A to point B... so yeah the plot and writing could be...weird at times. Also everyone seemed to have super pointy chins this season...

Spoiler alert: Not many of us wanted Lance and Allura to happen, but I truly believe it wasn’t done in a half assed way. At the very least, I appreciate that they had a genuine bond that developed over so many seasons. BECAUSE YES IT DID! Anyone who says they had no development or that it felt forced never paid attention. I wanted it to stay platonic; I wanted Klance to happen, but...I can’t be too mad at the writers because they at least tried. I still believe that Klance was endgame and the creators were forced to change the outcome of the show later on. AND YES LANCE DID GET A CHARACTER ARC! It may not have been the one we wanted to see, but I’m baffled that people think Lance living with his family, surrounded by people he loves-which is what he wanted all along- is not a happy ending. I just wish his relationship with Keith wasn’t pretty much ignored all season. But I believe Allura is his past that taught him to genuinely love and Keith is his future who will make Lance his “first choice”. And I’m not even gonna try to explain how I feel about Shiro and Allura’s endings because everything I feel is so complicated and layered. There is good and there is bad.

TLDR: This show teaches us that we’re stronger together, and I think the “fandom” completely missed the point because they do nothing but tear others down and refuse to look at things from other perspectives. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOT LIKE IT, BUT YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE AWAY OTHER PEOPLE’S ENJOYMENT AND BE A DICK ABOUT IT. It may not have been everything I wanted, but I’m glad I went on this ride. Besides, there are canonically infinite realities so there’s got to be a reality where all your dreams for the show come true. As a season, I’d say it’s a 7.5/10.

Honorable Mentions

I watched Avengers: Infinity War again. And yes it’s still great.

I’m watching Superstore because when another sitcom comes on before The Good Place, why not? Also since I finished season 5 of Brooklyn 99 I had to use my Hulu subscription for something.

Camp Camp has a holiday episode...so naturally I watched it...several times. Please watch Camp Camp.

Hellsing Ultimate Abridged finally ended, and I feel obligated to shout this out because, hey when you put out one episode a year it’s a big accomplishment to finish it!

Super Smash Bros Ultimate is finally here!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL THE WINTER ANIME IS ENDING!!! They were all so amazing! So shout out to Iroduku-The world in colors, Bloom into You, Hinomaru Sumo, Dakaichi, Banana Fish, Jingai no Yomen, Golden Kamuy, Skull-faced Bookseller Honda-san, Tsurune, AND RUN WITH THE WIND even though they’re not finished yet.

[georgeinamerc]

NAIL PIC INCOMING i finally got a fill and this girl....i said yes i want some length off but im sure you can tell in the photo SHE GOT THEM DOWN TO FUCKIN NUBS i mean the shape is great but theyre so short its like I dont even have acrylics on I'm having to relearn how to type because my nails dont reach the keys like i expect them too...

n e wayyyyy

I have so much school shit to lol and its only two classes but this is what i get for starting week 1 stuff at the beginning of week two

had to get up hella early today to drive my uncle (whom im living with atm) to go get his SUV because we might a giant ice storm tmr and the sports car that my aunt has/the little rinky dink shitbox that I have aint gonna cut it lol

ironically i do actually hope we lose power only because it'll be fun to just hang out and play games via candle light

^^but the threat of losing power means i have to get SHIT TON of school work done today so RIP me lol

love you bb

-JC

Heyy finally got some time to properly sit on my ass and craft a reply hahah!!

AHH IT'S ALWAYS A STRUGGLE WITH NAIL TECHS AND NAIL LENGTH I FEEL YOUU, they're definitely short but like she really nailed the shape and colour so that's good! (pun unintended lol). Right.... it's been a while since i got mine professionally done, but they usually grow so quickly and when i cut them short it feels so weird doing stuff after 😭

Babe i'm sending you so much positive energy!!! dw procrastination is sth all of us are going through but like you just slacked off for a week, i had been slacking off for weeks bc i was going out all the time and now that i have stacks of books to read for exams i feel like a literal clown🤡🤡 (will i do it next semester too?? most likely, i'm known to never learn from my mistakes😗✌🏻)

ICE STORM??? Oh my god i hope y'all are okay please lmk!!! I know you sent this earlier in the week but still good luck with everything!! You got this!! <33 If you learn anything fun while studying let me knoww ^_^

love you very much!!!!❤️

[dancekickboxcardio]

I am listening 👂🏾 to New York Times podcast and it’s still not comparable to Economist. It was never my dream to become big. I was not ever an Economics major. I signed up for nursing 👩🏼‍⚕️ even if it’s beneath my academic level because it’s what my Mom and Dad can afford. When I discovered that I can split my $22k a year with my Dad at a cheaper school 🏫. Heck, I’ll double our chances of giving our family a better life. It didn’t work out that way. But we never asked for money 💵 from others. In fact, at Notre Dame I included a bank 🏦 statement of my Mom’s Ohio Savings Account and they didn’t ask anything from me. They gave me a whole lot of money to start. Actually, I could have went on a full ride had I applied. They had no nursing 👩🏼‍⚕️ wiping 🧻 poopy butt and urine with inectious disease front program graduating from high school. There is money to make. Your beauty will just have to perish. What I am saying is, hard work 😓 in college is cumulative. I am comprehending and performing at a graduate level. Notre Dame prepared me for the rigors of the work and I make myself meet the demands of the academia. I may be Ferris Beuller. However, I am there because I applied myself. Coding 0️⃣1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣4️⃣➕➖➗✖️ is totally not me 💻. Well, I like it. I think 🤔 it’s creative, it tickles 🤗 my brain 🧠, the work is a killer beauty and most it’s in demand 📊 and pays 💰 well. I had to pay my tuition at Boston University myself. I don’t work now. All my expenses are paid for by my Mom from out of pocket health expenses to fancy old women pants 👖 . I am a little lagging. But I need to earn my certificates and really focus a lot on Python 🐍, we learn Java in Boston U too and the like. The craft ✍🏾 doesn’t develop like Rome wasn’t built 🏗in a day.

My cats 🐈 🐈 are wrestling 🥰.

Saturday was not working for me to start. The icing on the cake 🧁 was my Mom not giving me her credit card 💳 and my allowance has not been disburse. Mom, I have no breakfast 🥞 . I had some yogurt 🍦 before I left home 🏠. But I forgot to pack the real morning meal 🥘. Then, I got there in a hurry and not in a panic, shucks, I didn’t set my locker 🔐 codes and I put it to close. I defer the mishap until later. It was such a bonding for me, my sister and my Mom to kickbox 🥊. We are all in different athletic 👟 levels. Even if I am the biggest in size, I call that I am the fittest because of my hours in the gym 🏃🏼‍♀️ 💪🏾 and my membership since the beginning of college. My Mom and Aunt gave me full tuition 💵 and I applied for scholarship. I had something to burn 🔥. No, I wasn’t allowed to get American Express. I started sluggish. My energy ⚡️ picked up however. Also, I had to pace myself. I allowed to give myself breaks. Nevertheless, I meet every demands Jenny puts on us in this strengthening and high intensity cardio work out. I never put down the weights. I finished strong. I was happy 😃 at myself.

When the girl from operations reset my locker she had no time to chat 💭 . Someone else needed help. I wanted to ask her name and thank her. I always see her around. She’s quiet and keeps to herself. While I was doing my hair L’Tran was behind me and we exchange—I yak away. I looked for Laura and bumped into Contata Frittata. She was sweating 😅 from her session with Aaron but she had an appointment with Laur. I asked my trainer if there is a wrap up session for the 60 Day Challenge today. She said nothing materialized. I had to plan my day accordingly 📆. I stayed in the paddling bike 🚲. Laura called me on no metabolic conditioning. She caught me at a lazy weekend day. Jenny’s class had weight training 🏋🏼‍♀️ so I didn’t think 🤔 I had to wipe myself out in the machines. My bladder was not in urgency mode . What. I went anyway for a breather.

I stepped 👣 in the dance 💃🏼 studio and I was in the left corner if L’Tan was facing us. I was behind a friend. I was like, “Thank God, I didn’t lift weights.” I can feel my early work out on my back. Yes, I want...

I enjoyed it. The Brazilian moves where inserted in many areas of distinct series of dances 🕺🏽. I want a full... aya aya eyey

Sorry 😐 for the hanging butts. Don’t look 👀 at how scandalous it is which it really is. View it as an art 🖼. If you are not able to take your mind off well, that’s a problem. That’s why it’s called Brazilian 🧐. There were new steps and there were new people. I started just being there at my own leisurely pace. I wasn’t ripping it like some are. It’s my third routine for my weekend warrior 🛡⚔️. I have to make sure I last. I did. I had fun 🎊 . I enjoyed myself 🕴🏻along with the packed crowd. What I would like to point out and what I observe is that in a class when everything is new you are bound to make mistakes, you have to be cool 😎 about it. Don’t panic, freak out and build anxiety over than one lost move. There are probably 500 more to make right. I forgot what we call it in psych theory. When you put a lot of attribution in what you are doing. You have to let go and see it through. You are bound to make a whole lot more mistake if you are frazzled and stuck at the error that you made. Keep going and remind yourself why you are there 😃.

The guy who drop his shoes 👟 never claimed it. It’s still in the hall way. I made sure I followed my whims. I texted my 📱 BFF. Did I share my hair today? I ate fast 💨 🥙. That was a surprise 😯. I had 20 minutes to make sure I am in good hygiene. I get there, ladies are waiting outside. I can sense that they freaked out on me. How’s my make up 💄 👛. We talked yoga 🧘🏼‍♀️ and I told them how I love 💗 Gina. I showed them Neantherdal. Stephanie arrived 8 minutes before class and I thought 💭 her top was cute 😍. It reminded me of similar one I want for myself. Positive affirmations. I got my Lululemon bag 💼 forum meals 🥘. I ordered my weightlifting gloves 🧤 and asked for it. It was ritzy California like at Eton. It has pick up happy 😃 thoughts reminders. I am getting shirts 👚 for that reason. They have a sale 💲💲💲💲💲on tons of Under Armour tees. But I am contented with what I have. I just need to make sure that I have some stuff that reminds me to have a life and not kill yourself in jobs because you want everyone to know that you made it spending it in building a business. So do you have spending money 💵 left? Do I care? No, but you do.

I walked to the locker with a friend. It was her first time to take yoga 🧘🏼‍♀️ and I told her how I was not in a trance, I am alert and nimble. I pointed out to my Dad 🚙 that there was no music 🎶. I went to the sauna 🧖🏼‍♀️ . I stayed in the steam. The dry one was out of service 🔧🧰. I showered 🧼. Primping I got a text 📱 from Laura and I went upstairs to set my appointment 📅with her. She invited me for a Barbell class today. I said it’s too early. And it’s summer 🏖.

I only ate a hotdog dinner 🍴 and I felt it the next morning. The best part of my training which is exactly what I am working for, we went back from the game ⚾️ and my Dad was like, “We are going to see Manny’s boxing 🥊 game.” I was thinking 🤔 of working out the next day, getting that rest. What the heck, go amuse yourself. I did and I had energy to party 🎉 late. Well, next day was a different story.

[2-d-ents]

1-100 >:)

DAMN WEL THANK U OMG this is going under a read more after some bc damn this is a lot i love u thank u

1. the meaning behind my url

2d! stuart pot! 2 dents in his wee head!

2. a picture of me

the face behind the mask of tons of pics of 2d and noodle

3. how many tattoos i have and what they are:

none :( my parents wont help me pay for college if i get any facial piercings or tattoos, so i’m being patient. i’ve got a jar full of coins that i’ll some day exchange for money and use that for tattoo funds!

4. last time i cried and why

yesterday night after telling my dad i can’t come up with the money in time to pay my medical bill lol

5. piercings i have

just my ears i’m so boring lol

6. favorite band

i really like the band SALES, they are very calming. but i also like gorillaz (obviously), lullatone, K.I.D, best coast, the smiths, and the velvet underground

7. biggest turn offs

shoes???? this sounds stupid and idk why i do this but i dislike wearing tennis shoes on the daily. on a lighter and more understandable note i dislike people who are full of themselves even in the slightest? confidence is like really important and is completely different that conceitedness.

8. top 5 (insert subject)

i’m doing gorillaz songs bc why not.

 faust 

slow country

out of body

el manana

on melancholy hill

9. tattoos i want

already answered!

10. biggest turn ons

LEGS. like nice legs. idk what kind they are (short, skinny, plumpy, long) they are just GOOD u know u look at them and ur like GOOD. they are just aesthetically pleasing sometimes i guess more of like nice for the eye than a turn on. i like choking. ngl.

11. age

i’m 19, 20 in february next year!

12. ideas for a perfect date

planning one now actually! in october i have my one year with my boyfriend so we’re going to rent a hotel in chicago and go around the city for shopping, museums, and plays!

13. life goal

already answered!

14. piercings i want

MY SEPTUM

15. relationship status

dating a really weird hippie kinda dude named jacob lol

16. favorite movie

already answered!

17. a fact about my life

i weirdly own a lot of things with stitch from lilo and stitch on them and gudetama. i told my aunt when i was like 5 that i liked stitch and for some reason in japan there is a lot of stitch stuff like notepads and water bottles. same with gudetama. she just won’t stop sending them. 

18. phobia

already answered!

19. middle name

maura. lol. my mom is mad all her kids have middle names bc japanese people don’t have them

20. height

5 foot 2. i’m sadly kinda short. 

21. are you a virgin?

nope 

22. what’s your shoe size?

women’s size 5!

23. what’s your sexual orientation?

already answered!

24. do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

occasionally drink beers with just my dad, not too much of a party drinker

25. someone you miss

my sorta grandma in japan who passed away recently. my real grandma died before i was born so this lady is my mom’s sister’s husband’s mom but she lived with my aunt so i saw her a lot. she like to make lots and lots of crafts and give them to me!

26. what’s one thing you regret?

spending so much money before i found out i had to pay a 400 dollar medical bill lol

27. first celebrity you think of when someone says attractive

already answered!

28. favorite ice cream?

already answered!

29. one insecurity

my thighs :(

30. what my last text message says

“then stop textin bihhh!!!” to my sister when she said “stop distracting me”

31. have you ever taken a picture naked?

no, but someone has taken a picture of me naked lol

32. have you ever pained your room?

not myself no :(

33. have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?

yes!

34. have you ever slept naked?

only after sex so like, napping

35. have you ever danced in front of your mirror?

all the time omg all the time

36. have you ever had a crush?

duh? i am dating boy

37. have you ever been dumped?

like once or twice, i doubt three times.

38. have you ever stole money from a friend?

i think accidentally once? she left 20 in my car and i thought it was mine but i’m pretty sure thinking back on it it was hers but i hate her now so yeah that 20 got spent on a good trip to the cinema

39. have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?

too many times this month to count

40. have you ever been in a fist fight?

thank god no. i would lose so fast

41. have you ever snuck out of your house?

surprisingly no? my parents never ask where i’m going and never really have all my life. i would walk to taco bell in middle school at like three in the morning at times and in the morning they would be like “oi how was the quesadilla” 

42. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

now what kind of person would i be if i went through 13 years of general schooling and didn’t have an unrequited love?

43. have you ever been arrested?

nope! never plan to be lol

44. have you ever made out with a stranger?

NOPE NEVER WANT TO

45. have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

this is a vague question that i feel is meant to be like shocking. yeah, i met up with me boyfriend at subway earlier does that answer the question

46. have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

like. every single day lol they don’t seem to care

47. have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?

nah all my neighbors are antisocial

48. have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

in senior year i left school in the first hour to drive to canada and drink the day away with friends 

49. have you ever slept in the same back with a member of the same sex?

another question that’s meant to be shocking. i slept in my sisters bed last night

50. have you ever seen someone die?

no but does a cat count 

51. have you ever been on a plane?

too many times

52. have you ever kissed a picture?

i swear i have but i can’t recall of when or of what

53. have you ever slept until 3?

yeah, even 5

54. do you love someone or miss someone right now?

my boyfriend i suppose? i’m used to technically living together and sleeping in the same bed every night so yeah i miss him right now

55. have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

it’s a game called “find the dick in the sky”

56. have you ever made a snow angel?

when i was really young i only remember bc we have pictures

57. have you ever played dress up?

i was a tom boy when i was younger so no

58. have you ever cheated while playing a game

THIS MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY WHO HASNT

59. have you ever been lonely?

what kind of question is this of course i have felt a basic human emotion

60. have you ever fall asleep at school/work?

only at school never at work

61. have you ever been to a club?

no, i don’t really party

62. have you ever felt an earthquake?

yeah, living in japan makes you like never worry about them lol

63. have you ever touched a snake?

get that away from me its cute to look at but no way

64. have you ever run a read light?

only by accident

65. have you ever been suspended from school?

almost once but no

66. have you ever had detention?

saturday detention for dress code once

67. have you ever been in a car accident?

only when others are driving

68. have you ever hated the way you look?

all the time?

69. have you ever witnessed a crime?

i used to sit on the arm of my dad’s computer chair while he used to burn dvds we rented

70. have you ever pole danced?

ONCE there was one in my friends apartment and i gave it a whirl i love it

71. have you ever been lost?

my sister hates relying on technology so once it took us an hour and a half to get home from something that was only 20 minutes away

72. have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?

yep! went to nevada and arizona once. 

73. have you ever felt like dying?

can we not lol but yeah

74. have you ever cried yourself to sleep?

what teenage girl doesn’t

75. have you ever sang karaoke?

its a big thing in japan so definitely!

76. have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldnt?

duhhhhh one of those things was to never have sex

77. have you ever laughed until something came out of your nose?

yeah its uncomfortable dont do it

78. have you ever slept with someone 5 years older or younger?

no no no no ew

79. have you ever kissed in the rain?

yeah! not too special there are better places to kiss.

80. have you ever sang in the shower?

i used to a lot, never anymore

81. have you ever made out in a park?

no :(

82. have you ever dreamed you married someone?

ugh i hate those dreams so much

83. have you ever glued your hand to something?

yes :(

84. have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flagpole?

nope! that’s gross!

85. have you ever gone to school partially naked?

is this a crack at dress code lmao

86. have you ever been a cheerleader?

nope and im ok with it

87. have you ever sat on a rooftop?

when i was little my pal let us climb on her roof and was like “i do it all the time”!!1 and then someone called the cops on us

88. have you ever brush your teeth?

what

89. have you ever been too scared to watch a scary movie alone?

every single one? i am a wuss

90. have you ever played chicken?

YEAH THAT WAS MY CHILDHOOD

91. have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

no and good because that means people are considerate about your phone being on you lol

92. have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?

one time outside a mac demarco concert a pimp would actually not leave me alone and kept asking me to become one of his girls so i guess so? his name was papa schoolboy and he made me take pictures with him on my phone

93. have you ever broken a bone?

NO AND I NEVER WANT TO

94. have you ever been easily amused?

… all the time?

95. have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

yes

96. have you ever mooned/flashed someone?

only my friends mom because she flashed me

97. have you ever cheated on at test?

in high school yes

98. have you ever forgotten someone’s name?

okay who doesnt wtf

99. have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?

mac demarco

100. give us one thing about you no one knows

but if i give it someone knows

[everybodys-therapist]

Bipolar Q&A

All credit to @loloren69 but I never get asks so I’m just gonna do it even though no one asked. YAY!! Read under the cut for the rest.

General:

1. Type 1 or type 2?

Type 1

2. Self-dx or professional dx?

Professional Dx

3. Are you currently hypo/manic, depressed, mixed, stable, or not sure?

Bruh I don’t even know at this point. Pretty sure I’m stable though.

4. Do you have any other mental illnesses/disorders?

I have some pretty intense GAD (generalized anxiety disorder)

5. When did you first start having symptoms?

It really hit hard when I hit puberty so at like 14.

6. When did you realize/learn that you have bipolar?

I was professionally diagnosed when I was 18, before that I didn’t really think much of it.

7. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis?

LMAO yes and it was arguably the worst experience of my life. They diagnosed me with Major Depression when I was 16 and put me on meds. Anyone who knows how depression meds affect bipolar....I hit mania HARD and never came down. 

8. How self-aware are you on a scale of 1-10?

I mean right now probably an 8 but I’m pretty stable night now.

9. How many people know about your bipolar disorder?

I’m not sure. I don’t actively try to hide it from people but it’s not something I’m like HELLO I AM BIPOLAR. 

10. Are any of your family members bipolar?

My aunt suffers from bipolar 1 too and she went untreated for 40 years. She has been hospitalized, arrested, and had her kids taken away before. I’m hoping I never get to that level. 

11. Name three fictional characters you relate to and/or headcanon as bipolar.

Even Bech Næsheim 

Ian Gallager (seasons 1-4)

Hypo/mania:

12. When hypo/manic, do you get euphoric, dysphoric, angry, creative, social, or several of the above?

pretty much all of the above. never dealt with dysphoria though.

13. What has been your longest hypo/manic episode?

From what I remember I was in an INTENSE manic episode because of those meds in high school for at least a month and a half or so. I’m talking full on psychosis and everything. Full 9 yards.

14. Have you ever had a psychotic episode? What symptoms did it include?

Yup. Many times. Usually it involves vividly remembering things that flat out didn’t happen. Hearing voices. Paranoia. I once mourned the death of these kids I read about in the newspaper because I was 100% sure we had gone to school together and we were friends and stuff. In actuality they didn’t even live in the same county as me and they were like 5 yers older.

15. What kind of impulsive decisions have you made?

Spent tons of money on hockey season tickets for me and my friend. Bought a shit ton of arts and crafts painting shit because I was determined I was going to become an artist. Went for a walk through downtown alone at 3am because I wanted some cookies and the only store open was a couple miles away. 

16. What’s the most money you’ve spent in a single day while hypo/manic?

If I remember correctly about $1,500. In one day. When I was like 16. It was seriously all of the money I had saved up for YEARS and I dropped it all in one day. 

17. What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep?

Consecutive days without sleep I’d say 4, but I’ve gone weeks with only a couple of hours of sleep a night. 4 days without sleep and you’re fucking tasting colors. 

18. Are you a creative type? Have you ever made a poem/song/other artwork about being bipolar?

I wrote a spoken word poem about it once. I was pretty proud of it too. It’s on here somewhere. 

Depression:

19. When depressed, do you get suicidal, bored, anxious, guilty, or several of the above?

ALL OF THE ABOVE and also apathetic. 

20. What has been your longest depressive episode?

I would say my longest episode of being at my lowest of lows went on for about 3 or 4 months. 

21. How do you cope with depression?

Not well. I cry and sleep mostly. If we’re talking about bad coping mechanisms I’ve done that too. I often binge watch tv or something mindless.

22. Are you a sleep-all-day depressive or an insomniac depressive? Do you overeat or lose your appetite?

I’m a sleep-all-day depressive and an overeater. I lose my appetite when I’m manic.

23. When is the last time you cried or had a breakdown?

Bruh last time was like 3 days ago haha

24. Have you ever self-harmed?

Yup. 100%

25. Have you had problems with substance abuse?

Nope

26. Have you ever attended AA/NA/etc?

Never had a reason to

27. Have you ever attempted suicide?

Yes

28. Have you ever written a suicide note?

Yes

Other symptoms and treatment:

29. Do you ever dissociate?

Yes

30. Do you ever have hallucinations? If so, what are they?

Yes, it depends. A lot of time it’s auditory hallucinations. 

31. Do you see a therapist? Do you feel like it’s helping?

I did for a while but often I left more anxious and on edge than when I started so I quit.

32. Are you on any medications? Do you feel like they’re helping?

Yes I’m on 4 different medications right now and I can’t begin to tell you how much they’re helping me.

33. Have you ever been hospitalized?

I was taken to the ER a couple of times, but never made to stay over. They often gave my parents a choice if they wanted me admitted or not and they always said no.

34. Have you ever attended group therapy?

No

35. Have any of your symptoms gotten worse over the years?

I would say they haven’t gotten worse as much as they’ve stayed the same and my situations have changed. For example I now have access to far more money and power than I did as a teenager so mania can get a little dicey.

36. Have any of your symptoms gotten better over the years?

Not by themselves, but the medication has helped.

37. Do you have a favorite coping method?

Music is always a good way to try and keep yourself grounded. Especially if you’re dissociating or something like that. Having something to focus on is always helpful.

38. If you could choose to be neurotypical, would you?

To be honest I don’t know. I would love to get rid of the terrible parts, but all in all they’ve made me who I am and they’ve gotten me to where I am now. I’m sure my bipolar disorder will fuck up some more things for me before I die, but I’m actually not sure if I would want to be neurotypical.

[westfivestory]

  Pioneer Day Camp for ages 5-7 was held at Mennonite Heritage Village from July 10-14. I signed Gunnar up, not sure how he would adapt since he is so shy, but camp actually helped him adjust to what kindergarten will be like. He made a new friend, learned some pioneer skills and made a new craft every day. He had a really great week and came out of his shell a bit. He really seems to like my boss. Every day at the end of camp he came to my office to tell me about his day and then off he went to my boss’s office to tell him.

Parish and Danek spent the entire week with their dad while Gunnar spent the evenings since he had to come to work with me. It made for a relatively quiet week of mostly just me and Mikayla hanging out although she spent Wednesday at celebrations dinner theatre with Grandma.

By Friday I had the house to myself. Mikayla went to her dad’s and the others spent the weekend with theirs. Having so much free time is really unusual for me and although nice since it is so rare, makes me want to do stuff since I’m not used to sitting still. So that being the case, I over filled my weekend with activities. spent Friday night enjoying a horror movie marathon after a walk to the store for slurpees, Saturday was spent showing a friend around the museum and meeting new people. While it was fun, it was also exhausting.

Monday, back to work and then rush home to pack the truck and meet grandma in Beausejour. The kids then headed to the cabin after we all had supper at Moe’s Diner. Once getting back home, I met a friend for a couple of games of pool in Lorette before calling it a night. Tuesday was some social media drama and frustration so went out with a friend to clear my head. Wednesday, I went for a couple of games of pool in Lorette again and really didn’t enjoy the evening, couldn’t wait for it to end in fact, so made an excuse and bailed as early as I could.

Following Wednesday, I didn’t want to do anything. I just really needed to take some time for me. So I did, I stuck around home in the evenings, had some lazy tv watching nights and outside of work pretty much avoided everyone for a couple of days. I did next to nothing until Saturday.

Saturday, went to the speedway with a friend and watched the races and the mud bogging, it was a lot of fun until we got rained out. From there, with the options that were suggested to me, I really just wanted to once again stay home and not do anything and was fully planning to do that until my friend offered to take me out cruising and off-roading. It was really the only offer that didn’t consist of sitting around talking and having drinks and I really didn’t feel like I wanted any drinks at all. So I agreed.

It was so much fun just driving around, singing along to the radio, talking, driving around this area down many quiet dirt roads until heading over to some old pits and tearing around there with the Jeep. We watched a couple of guys climb the biggest hill in a Harley Davidson Edition Ford and they called us up. We figured the Jeep wouldn’t make it up with the stock tires etc and opted for the other way which is still pretty rough. Anyway, we made it to the top and were then invited to join their diaper party for their friend who was celebrating his first baby. We didn’t stick around long, the mosquitoes were out in full force and it was becoming unbearable, so we headed out.

Sunday, I headed out to the cabin in the afternoon to get the kids and visit a little bit. They were so excited, Gunnar came racing off the deck and almost got to the car before I even got out. After we talked and ate some lunch, me and Gunnar went on a boat ride with Grandpa and Uncle Jas. It was nice and relaxing, so much so, Gunnar fell asleep. Once back at the cabin we took the pedal boat out for a little ride along the shore, without Juno being there, we were able to go a little further, since she wasn’t tagging along.  We stayed out there until after supper and then went home and enjoyed an evening of just us. Haven’t had one of those in awhile. Before the kids went to bed, we were watching a movie and Danek turned and then yelled Oh my Gosh! We all jumped up to see what he was freaking out about, Hurley figured out how to squeeze through the bars of her cage, oh no, we now needed a new cage asap!

The rats were removed from the big cage for the night and I searched VarageSale, finally locating a decent looking cage, specifically for them and it came with some pretty cool toys. They are definitely enjoying their new home and the fear of them getting out and becoming cat food is no longer a concern.

Mikayla’s new ceiling lift was installed Monday, much to her dismay. She was expecting a sling very much like the ones given to us following her spine surgery and was really not happy about it at all. They finished the installation before we got home from picking up silent auction prizes and so they would need to come back to properly train us on the use of the lift and ways to extend battery life etc.

Wednesday came and brought closure to a very large chapter of our lives, the house is now officially ours. It is no longer owned by him and I, it is now just me and we can no longer have liens placed against the property from his outstanding debts. This is such a relief and has been a very long process. To finally have it come to an end, its honestly the best thing and we can move forward.

Thursday, I officially learned how to use the lift and at that time realized that her dread and fight on it were pretty unnecessary, this new sling design is much better and she is held in place properly instead of seeming to slide out the bottom of it. She still much prefers the sit to stand lift for most things, but she is no longer completely opposed. That evening, I was able to re-use my speedway ticket for the races since Saturday’s race was called due to rain. So I took the boys with me and we enjoyed supper at the track and watched tons of races, they had a blast. One of my aunt’s friends was there since her husband does the photography and we were given some additional passes to come again at some point throughout the season. Near the end, our friend from town joined us in time to watch her son race and move up from 11th place to 4th. It was an awesome race, he did so well. After the races were over we went into the pit and the boys had their pictures taken while sitting in some of the cars, they received autographed pictures, candy, tattoos and even foam fingers. They were so excited for this experience and would love to go again.

Friday, was not a great day. I was pretty tired most of the day from a late night at the races, totally worth it though. The parade float was finished at work and looks awesome, so despite some criticism, I think its a good change. The kids were with their dad when I got home so Mikayla and I had a good part of the evening together and we caught up on Big Brother a little bit until my friend came over for a bit. We hung out and chatted and just as she left my phone rang. Parish was on the phone saying we are coming home, I’ll explain when we get there. Within a minute they pulled into the driveway and I ran to slip on shoes to help with their stuff, but they were coming in the door in tears as I came to help them. All three came in the house bawling, Gunnar wrapped around me refusing to let go for the better part of an hour and too scared to use the washroom on his own. Danek and Parish also came in for a hug before moving to spots on the couch sniffling and still crying off and on. I am not entirely sure of the events, since I was not there. I do know there was far too much alcohol involved and a lot of yelling and Gunnar was grabbed by the shoulder and Danek by the arm. They have never been that scared before and not having been there, I don’t know all the circumstances, but I do know that they do not need to be around that, and unfortunately, it was a very abrupt ending to what had been a pretty good visit.

Saturday, I took them out to start accumulating some of their school supplies, although it is still a month or so away, it always seems to sneak up sooner than expected, so better now then later. They were excited to pick their new backpacks and indoor shoes. Gunnar likes his so much, the only issue now is reminding him that they are indoor shoes. After arriving home, Mikayla’s friend stopped by to show us her new Honda Civic, it looks great. In the evening, my friend stopped by and we took the kids off-roading again, they had a blast. Danek said his stomach was flipping around, but otherwise they all had fun driving through the pits and climbing the big hills. We came back home afterwards and Mikayla joined us outside for a bonfire, she hadn’t come off-roading, instead she stayed home and had a friend over. So it was another late night, but was definitely one that they all enjoyed.

Sunday, was such a lazy day for all of us. We mostly lounged and watched TV despite the beautiful weather, just so tired and really needed to catch up on some sleep. Now we are just going to head out and get some ice cream….until next time.

July 30, 2017 Pioneer Day Camp for ages 5-7 was held at Mennonite Heritage Village from July 10-14. I signed Gunnar up, not sure how he would adapt since he is so shy, but camp actually helped him adjust to what kindergarten will be like.

[existentialstatesofmind]

Weekend Fun

Clare: had forgotten his family was probably listening to everything she said. She wondered how often she or her parents were slipping up and revealing too much about what was going on at home. Luckily no one outside of the Jesus Club seemed suspicious. Clare hadn't shared much with them, she hadn't been ready to open up to a group of people, but they'd pressed the issue because some of them attended her church. The few friends who knew she'd told because she trusted them. "I don't know why some boys are weird about it but really it's no one's business anyway." Clare said making the zipping motion with her lips. She didn't judge Dallas for having sex. It was a personal choice. "That's smart." Clare hoped it worked out like Dakota and his friend thought. Even though Dakota had the fighting skills to defend himself and protect the girl from her dad and ex-boyfriend, those kind of situations were unpredictable. What if one of them showed up with a weapon? Clare smiled. "Thank you." She buried her face in her hands and giggled. "It's true though. There must be something else." She removed her hands when Dakota started talking about his family's heated pool. "Lucky! What a great way to spend Christmas. I took swimming lessons when I was about Emi's age. It probably is better to bring her there and ease her out of the fear." Clare smiled. "I really do. Oops?" She polished off the slice in no time. She decided to snag a third slice before they were all gone. Normally Clare would've been embarrassed to eat so much in front of a cute boy but Dakota knew she'd skipped breakfast. She looked at Emi curiously when the little girl excitedly handed him a guitar. She hadn't known he played much less what song it was Emi wanted to hear. Clare sat down on the couch to watch Dakota and Stacy perform. She was slightly shocked when Dakota started to sing. He had a great voice. She listened to the lyrics and watched him strum the strings of his guitar. His playing sounded great too. She grinned widely and clapped a little when Dakota and Stacy finished, not caring if it was silly. Stacy deserved applause too, she could sing, Clare just hadn't been paying as much attention to her. "Well it definitely was a stroke of fate! You're really talented. All of that practicing paid off. I like the song too, I hadn't heard it before." She admitted. Clare listened to Dakota and his brothers describe all of their activities and what Kelly could do too. "How incredible! It sounds to me like you've all got plenty of possible careers to chose from and having hobbies is fun too. I took a lot of different lessons too. But mostly because my mom didn't really care if my sister Darcy and I liked something or not. She just wanted us to keep busy so anything I quit, I had to find a replacement for." Clare said truthfully. "I tried learning how to play the piano first and then the clarinet another time but I'm kind of tone deaf so that didn't work out too well. I played softball for about four years even though I hate most sports but I finally found one I like besides swimming, Badminton. Dancing, gymnastics, and cheerleading were Darcy's thing so I kept trying to veer away from that and find stuff I enjoyed. Like writing classes and participating in children's theater groups. I took some beginning art and craft classes too. I even took sewing. Making things like pillows and dice is fairly easy but I never learned how to make complicated things like clothes. Oh, and I was in Girl Guides." Clare shared. "I want to be a writer. My dad says that's not realistic so I told him it is if I go into journalism. But I'm not sure if I will yet or not."

Kota: chuckled a bit as Clare moved her hands over her lips in a zipping motion. "Guys at school will bully us if they knew. It's a double standard, it's ok for a girl to be a virgin when she's over 18, but for a guy it's different." he explained. "Ash and I, even though we're virgins, no one at school knows. A guy on the football team got cast out for being a virgin, they bullied him to the point where his girlfriend felt pressured to have sex with him. He rejected her because he knew they weren't ready and quit the football team. Though he didn't tell anyone about being bullied, the football team pointed to the cheerleaders that the was a virgin and made other negative comments about him to them and they told the girls. The girls didn't tell a teacher, but took matters in their own hands and often stood up for him about it and consoled him, the quarterback's girlfriend broke up with him and cheerleaders refused to cheer because they knew about the bullying. The bullying got worse to the point where the teachers found out from the girls and suspended the football team, the quarterback of the team blamed him so the kids that didn't know about him being bullied, bullied him in return blaming him for the suspension of the team. Ash and I decided to put a stop to it, but the cheerleaders stopped us saying it'll only get worse if we butted in since they dumped paint on the captain of their team causing the rest of the cheerleaders to defend her. It got so bad teachers took over and when the bullying stopped he didn't have friends nor did his girlfriend. If you talked to one of them on your free will, you lost your friends and got bullied. We all decided to talk to them once and a few upper classmen told us that if we did that we'd regret it. They'd outcast our whole class and grade if they had to along with giving an explanation of how they'd do it and there wasn't anything we can do about it. They would make whole grade would stand in the caf during lunch by taking over the tables, they'd make us sit on the back of the bus on the way home so they can trip us as we walk down the aisle among other stuff." Dom explained. "Which is why we don't tell anyone." Kota said honestly and smiled as Clare covered her face and spoke. "Eh, there's a lot to do to keep up with it." he said honestly. "Plus there are days we don't feel like swimming and if people at school knew we have a pool here we'd get used. We would make friends easily because of it. It happened in elementary school. Kids would become our friend just to go swimming in our pool. The lesson is what made her afraid of water. When she was a year old, my aunt came here to take her to swimming lessons and they dunked her under water to 'get her one with the water' she choked on it and has been afraid ever since. My mom told me about it." he explained and kissed Clare's cheek. "I'm glad you like it." he smiled and looked at her before taking his second piece as well as getting Emi another piece. "I think you should've made three pizzas." Stacy laughed a bit. "I wish I had enough dough for three." he said honestly as they cleaned up. The minute the song was over and Clare spoke, he smiled. "Maybe I could play the whole thing for you. It's too depressing for Emi. It's called Hold On Till May by Pierce The Veil. I'll reblog it for you." he assured. As Clare spoke, Kota put his guitar down and walked over to Clare only to put her on his lap. "We need badminton equipment." Dallas nodded after Clare stopped speaking and Kota looked at her. "Journalism is a good trade to go into." he smirked at her and watched as Dallas and Stacy walked off. "They're probably going to go make out." Ash said and Kota looked around for a moment. "Game room?" he asked and helped Clare up. "Our basement has a ton of games in it thanks to Dom with his old summer job." Kota explained. "Though some of it we also brought from money we saved up snowing, cutting grass, and raking leaves." he said honestly as they walked to the basement. When they got down there he automatically saw Dom handing him a pool stick. "Oh, we all know how to fight. Ash and Dom know how to box." Kota added and looked at Clare. "Do you know how to play pool?" he asked.