#my art isnt great at the best of times and these will be far from that

[doodlesbysamiel]

HOLOctober Day 1 Medic. Houshou Marine.

These won't be my best work. I'm using this as an exercise in getting pieces done and to see how far I make it. Never made a genuine attempt at this before, but I'll try my best.

[vagueshape]

Why does making stuff have to be so expensive hhhhhhh

[artdcnaldson]

UGH ok twist my arm i guess!!!! as a little treat!!!! dr donaldson <3

so gynecologist art, yall, doctor donaldson. cat and i were in the dms TRUST. so art decides that he should probably have a backup plan, just in case tennis doesnt work out after college. he doesnt expect to actually need it because his tennis is going great, hes on track to go pro very soon. but JUST in case, he decides to use his good grades to study some kind of medicine. initially he had thought some kind of sports medicine, if nothing else then it would be good knowledge for himself down the line.

but after his grandma passes (not of a stroke) and he hears his family discussing how if only her gynecologist had paid better attention and taken her serious she might have lived longer (idk anything about medicine but probably some kind of cancer yknow?). anyway he sees that a his motivation and picks gynecology as his field. patrick absolutely teases him to death over it, "you're gonna be a pussy doctor? what so you just get to look at naked chicks all day? i'd quit tennis for that too". again he's not really expecting to need it, so he doesnt take it too hard. but he's kind of obviously the only guy in the course, and the girls all think he's kind of weird for wanting to pursue a field of medicine that isnt relevant to him. but after him telling the story about his grandmother they all coo and comfort him that its okey and they understand.

he does well in all his classes because he does truly find it interesting and wants to do his best to help women. but as he's getting ready to go pro, he has an accident on the court, as he's going to return a long ball he twists his ankle and takes a bad fall. his recovery is good, but his ankle will never be as it was before, and his chances of the big tennis dream slowly dies. and ultimately he's just unwilling to spend his life as a struggling tennis player, when he could be making a real difference.

now that he has his own practice he likes to tell that story to his new patients, especially the ones who seem tense with the fact that he's a man, who will be examining their most private area. it does well to ease their minds. hes been doing this for many years now, he enjoys the work, and the women who come to him are happy with his work. his patients are typically slightly older women, as they're not as phased by a male gynecologist, whereas most younger women arent as comfortable with the idea. he doesnt mind that, in fact he understands perfectly. honestly hes grateful for it, he fears the day he might have a patient whos just a bit too attractive and he'll have to struggle to keep his cool.

that day unfortunately comes sooner than he had hoped. its your first appointment with him after having him recommended by a friend, you had contacted him and told him how you were very unhappy with your current doctor and wanted to try something else. not having had a male doctor before, except like your dentist, youre very nervous for the appointment. not knowing what to expect from it, or how seriously he will take your issues. out of nervous habit youve gotten ready for the appointment as if it were a date rather than a clinical exam. showered, shaved, cute panties, hair and makeup done. its all totally unnecessary, but the moment you see him for the first time you thank the divine for looking your absolute best. GOD hes so hot. far too hot to be a doctor. lets just say that he wears scrubs because theyre so sexy, and they truly are criminally flattering on him. he sits on his chair, typing away as youre lead into the room by an assistant. as soon as he looks up and asks you to have a seat with him, you both know youre screwed. the tension is immediately noticeable as you discuss your reason for coming in, just a routine check because your last doctor wouldnt do it thorough enough and didnt listen enough to your issues.

he leaves the room while you strip off and leave your clothes in a neat little pile, panties clearly on top in the hope that he'll see them and think theyre cute. and he does, in fact his eyes keep fluttering to them as hes getting ready for the exam. he has to adjust his chair a little lower in the hopes that you cant see that he's getting hard. meanwhile youre going from soaking to sopping wet as you watch him put on the latex gloves, snapping them against his wrist.

he can tell that you're tense, but as its your first appointment with a male gynecologist, he assumes thats the reason, and not the fact that youre mortifyingly wet. he tries to calm your nerves by telling you what he'll be doing, he sits right in front of you on his chair and tells you how first he'll examine externally, just checking for anything irregular. then an internal exam with the same purpose, and then finally a physical exam where he will just have to feel your tummy as well as your pelvis to ensure everything is as it should be. totally routine stuff, nothing out of the ordinary, if anything hes far more attentive and careful to make sure youre comfortable. but the way hes saying it, his voice and the way he's looking at you has you clenching your thighs shut and trying to keep yourself from making a puddle on the table.

as he gathers his tools he asks you to place your legs in the stirrups, he sees you struggling a little to get your right leg properly in place, he gently grabs your leg and helps you place it properly. goosebumps cover you leg as he pulls his hand away again. you can feel how wet you are as youre not totally exposed to him, dripping wet, youve been less wet when hooking up with people. this is just from interacting with him briefly, really its embarrassing. hes so sweet asking if everythings alright, and if he can do anything to help you relax. and after squeezing your eyes shut and holding your breath for a second you finally get out that you just feel like youre really wet, and youre not youre not sure why, this doesnt usually happen. hes so sweet, trying to reassure you, telling you its perfectly normal. its a natural response from your body, if anything its a sign that youre healthy!

hes not lying, he really does mean what hes saying, it is good and it is normal. but hes never seen anyone be quite this wet during an appointment in his office. youre soaked, its practically dripping onto the table and forming a puddle. if he was sporting a semi under the table he might have referred you to a different doctor. but youre so pretty he cant help himself.

he really does try his best to stay professional and not let his attraction crack through and distract from his work. but fuck youre so tight around his latex covered fingers when hes doing the exam. and you only squeeze down tighter when he tries to reassure you, tell you youre doing good. its making it hard for him to focus on the task at hand. it takes everything in him to keep his hands from drifting and moving to find those sweet spots inside of you. he doesnt have to deprive himself for long tho as he accidentally brushed against your gspot. his cheeks turn bright pink as he hears a tiny moan escape your lips. and youd been so good at keeping them in the whole time too. but this one couldnt be contained. he stays good, doesnt say anything, just carries on with his work. but he almost lets out a moan of his own as he sees the ring of cream gathered around his gloved fingers.

he takes his work very seriously and he doesnt take the idea of losing his medical license due to malpractice lightly, so he wouldnt be just giving in to his urges. his resolve breaking doent come lightly, its a big deal to him. he goes home that day and jerks off in the shower while thinking about you, he knows exactly what your pussy looks like, what it feels like, how soaking wet you got for him. he cums again in his bed and humps his mattress while dreaming about you. he wakes up and decided he needs to see you again. asks his assistant to set up another appointment with you. when he asks what for, he stutters and says something about needing to do some tests just to be sure of something. hes lying, obviously, but he needs to see you again. he cant stop thinking about your tight little cunt...

-🐞

ladybug your mind amazes me... <3

He can't risk medical malpractice, and he really is a good doctor, he loves his work, he wants to help people. And he's really never, ever reacted this way to a patient before, but god, he can't get you out of his mind.

So maybe he schedules a follow up for a week later. Maybe his heart is racing and his palms sweat when he walks into the examination room and sees you in the little fabric gown, hands in your lap, worrying your lip between your teeth.

He feels like a nervous teenager on a first date, not a fucking healthcare professional.

He listens to you speak about your concerns, walks through your test results from the week prior. Everything looks good, he says. Nothing felt abnormal, your body is working just how it's supposed to. Do you have any questions for me?

You shake your head, sweet and shy, aching for an excuse to get his hands on you again, but running low on things you can ask for.

[nikanono]

I know I'm not active on here anymore, but I need a place to get this off my chest.

And Tumblr is where I found my creativity so I guess it fits

It has been so difficult to create anything as of recent. Ive lost so much confidence in what I do with so many shortcomings with my art. And I feel as if part of it is my fault- other parts its completely out of my hands.

Yes, Ai art and the industry tossing creatives aside hasnt been the most encouraging thing in the world. Its a good reason as to why i've been feeling not so great with creating things.

In 2022, I suffered a really bad art burnout. I didnt draw anything for a year. I started to kick it back up again in 2023. I found a lot of comfort in spending a lot of time drawing my OC's- which was far different than what I used to do- which was a shit ton of fanart. It definetely ignighted my spark and I really started to draw what I loved.

I really felt I was diving back into what I was really passionate about.

But I guess i could never escape how badly I relied on external validation for things I make. Because if I truely reflect, I've mostly drawn things for others. And I kept tellling myself that that was something I found comfort in. Getting feedback from an external source is where I grounded my validation for so many years and I really need to break out of that habit. And I'm back in a rut where I'm not finding interest or enjoyment in it anymore.

But its rough- I know OC content doesnt get much attention online, not compared to fanart at least. But seeing numbers dwindle on social def hit the brain a little to hard. I know I cant ever beat the algorithm but it still does suck a whole lot

The art burnout at the start of this year hit me so hard like a 500kg Eagle Strike. I can tell that im forcing any art that I put out. But I look at the recent stuff i make, wether it be a sketch or an illustration, and just feel so disheartened. I dont hate it, I dont critique it- I just feel disheartned by it.

And I know its affecting other parts in my life. Im a lot more moody and irritable, and I have this lingering worry that its starting to affect my social circles. I do my best to check in with my friends and partner but anxiety really just isnt kind at times.

I know time is going to be my friend in overcoming burnout- I know I've overworked myself. I just hate how I'm starting to resent the things I was so passionate about.

But really, I needed to get this off my chest somewhere.

Thanks for hanging friends

[niftukkun]

honk (“honk!”) if you’re hungry for chaos! come on, “honk! honk!” like a horrible goose!

for the second week of @/shepscapades 's hermitcraft character design event, i offer grian as a chaotic goose!

so originally my concept was actually grian as the lamb from cult of the lamb, but then memories of the untitled goose game descended upon me like visions from an angry god, so i couldnt not do grian as The Goose. it fits, really, since the whole point of the goose game is to spread unmitigated chaos, and grian thrives on chaos and unpredictability

for notes on character design,, i actually didnt know what to do at first? like, ok, grian as the goose, but do i just draw a goose? make grian into a goose hybrid and thatse it? i actually really debated letting him keep his red jumper cause while its a big indicator of Grian its also,, really out of place for goose if that makes sense. my next pass at designs was arguably worse since it was more or less just a naked harpy with no resemblance to grian OR the goose game.

i actually ended up taking inspiration from one of my ocs (lycomedes my beloved boy i will one day post you) and gave grian this. mask-not-mask? if you look at the art there isnt actually a line separating mask from skin so that implies its less a mask and more His Face and that fit more than actually giving him a beak or just a plain human esque face so i kept it and it looks great! i also gave him arms instead of a more harpy esque No Hands look because Despite My Best Efforts it did not look good :(

to keep him looking like grian i gave him the hair i started doing specifically for grian and also little red highlights here and there (notable places include the eyes because Slay and the nails because Slay (im only half joking here)) but other than that i kind of did nothing else and am shocked at how much silhouette actually matters?? like it registers to me as grian despite yknow looking nothing like his actual minecraft skin so. win!! hell yeah!!!

little details include the bell i spent way too much time on, the sign that im far too proud of (its so good!!) and of course, the crowning piece, the Untitled Grian Game logo (and grian face) (its so funny to me i keep laughing whenever i look into those soulless minecraft eyes) (its so good!!!!!)

[asherxz]

Hiya there, m8! Was hopin to request some fluffy Medic headcanons with an S/O who loves to draw and sometimes gives him tips on how to take care of his doves? Sorry if this is an odd request, you can ignore this if it ain't exactly yer cup 'o tea:]

MEDIC WITH S/O WHO LOVES TO DRAW/GIVES TIPS ON HIS DOVES HEADCANONS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HELLO ANON!!

I am so sorry for the long wait, the writing block isnt getting any better sadly. I tried my best to finish it though! Gender isnt mentioned in this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Sorry to say this, but he definitely asks you to draw him, and he asks with the most sickly innocent smile and puppy eyes. That'll be the first and possibly last time he'll do puppy eyes.

-If you DO decide to draw him, he will hang it up on the freezer. Literally any drawings you draw for him gets hung up on the freezer.

-Sometimes he just… hangs over your shoulder, observing how you draw. It just absolutely fascinates him.

-Asks you to draw beside him while he catches up on paperwork. He doesn't talk with you in these moments, but he does enjoy the company.

-He probably draws a little himself, but mostly it's just him drawing anatomy stuff. Nothing else. He can only draw anatomy stuff.

-He's actually really good at drawing anatomy. If you try to compliment his art, he will do the whole "oh you, stoop… keep going."

-As for his doves? Well, they love you! Stand still for a minute and you'll have a dove nested on your head!

-Hate to say this, but the tips you give him, he probably already knows.

-Usually he would be reallu annoyed if someone tried to teach him about his OWN doves, causing him to leave a snarky remark, but he'll tolerate it if it was from you. Even go as far as to pretend he didn't know.

-Medic is a great pet owner, and his doves are in great health. He loves his doves as much as he loves you.

-Honestly, the best way to get closer to him is through his doves.

[lobotr-on]

Hello!! First of all I want to say that I’ve seen your art around and I adore your style sm, I think it’s great.

I also wanted to let you know that depictions of Spock with green skin are unfortunately rooted in antisemitism. Ik this may not be widely spread knowledge, so just giving you the heads-up in case you weren’t aware. It’s particularly harmful given its original portrayal by Leonard Nimoy, a Jewish man, and how much of Jewish culture he integrated into Spock. Artistic liberties in how we might draw/picture Vulcans is one thing, but given this background it’s far from ideal to reinforce these stereotypes.

There are a few posts around tumblr and the internet in case you’d like to dig a bit deeper into the matter. Take care!

thank you for making me aware of this!! I stylised spock as green because he has green blood, and i tend to up the nonhuman features of characters. However, i was totally unaware of this connection so i will be depicting spock differently from now on!!

I had a look at some of the posts both on and off site you mentioned and took some time to consider the best way to go forward. I also spoke to a number of people in my personal life to decide what to do. (if you feel differently then please dont hesitate to say!)

according to the sources ive read, spock's skin being straight green isnt suitable, but green blush is fine... so i think i shall follow along these lines...?

as for my previous depictions of spock i'm on the fence over what to do!! i dont want to contribute to a harmful stereotype...should i take my spock artwork down? re-upload with changes made? leave them but colour him differently from now on? im really unsure what the best step is, and i think the best action is to ask my followers + the community for thoughts...? id really appreciate any guidance offered!!

Once again, thank you for taking the time to inform me of this!!

[psshaw]

You have been one of the most unapologetically yourself artists Ive come across and I dont mean that in the cliche way I mean like... your idiosyncrasies seem particularly unstifled. Your art is purely yourself and the mainstream isnt gonna go for it but the audience you do speak to gets to feel like an alien finding someone else from their homeland. AI image gen feels like a beautiful cake with flowery frosting and when you cut into it its actually frosting all the way down and has nothing of substance. I obviously can speak only in metaphors lol so I just wanted to say I appreciate reading your thoughts on AI and tho I feel strongly abt it I have a hard time putting exacting words to what about it is so worrying to me. As an artist it energizes me when I see artists who are wildly unique and expressing themselves without a care to their skill limitations or personal strangenesses (read: mainstream unmarketability). Manga artist ONE and his charming and funky style is a great example. Anyway I love your thoughts and wanted to say thanks and also throw words at you

FUCKIGN DAMN DUDE, ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY? Why is the weather getting misty on my face specifically. Thank you. My most contentious trait is that I keep forgetting to care what people want from me.

It's really interesting following people who are very honest but more mathy than me, because the way they talk about art and AI lately has gotten... increasingly callous. Even bitter. It's partly justified, because artists tend to suck at defending themselves charismatically. ("AI art isn't real art"; the "AI can't do hands" thing was always destined to age badly) But also, I can't stand the sheer selfishness of people who claim to be rational but don't seem know how to investigate what art at its best is for and why they view it the way they do. When I read "AI is great for hobbyists" I'm like. 95% of the time, I'M A HOBBYIST... I would never generate a script, or music... javascript maybe, but I'd feel guilty about it... but the excitement? I think some guys are just looking to suckle on a feeding tube. Cos they were done a disservice by thinking they had to stop visual art after fingerpainting!

I don't think AI NEVER has substance, but the type of person who gets excited about AI doesn't tend to do interesting things with it. And what really bothers me is that I can never tell exactly WHAT they did, versus how much was a coin flip. This is useless for understanding your voice as an artist. I don't care to see more by you.

ONE is a perfect example. His style MAKES that story. The manga and the anime feel so different. That's why I hate when people say that hating AI is discriminating against people who can't draw, cos like... if you can't make something intentional and real without using what's functionally a search engine, why would I believe you're having ideas worth the cliche conceptartdotcom overrendered AI polish at all? Not to be a dick, but like. In terms of rate of return on my attention investment, so far I'd do better by sitting at a craps table.

[roseworth]

do you have a favorite artist for rose?

honestly. its jeff spokes (from the stormwatch story in batman the brave and the bold)

first of all i love the braid. this book is the only time shes had it (so far...) but ive completely incorporated it into how i picture her in my head. i think its such a good look for her even though i cant figure out what its doing half the time

the costume itself isnt very interesting in this story but i can forgive that because her costumes are rarely interesting

i dont think its a bad costume but its just not a very good one. go girl give us nothing! but it still looks good on her so i love this art

anyways. i loooove how shes drawn out of costume <3 i actually dont know if spokes drew these panels just because it looks so different than the others but no one else is credited so i have to assume its still him

if im being honest i think they could tweak this look and make it her actual costume (i want her to have the sort of costume sort of casual look) because it has a lot of good elements that could work + the shirt underneath is pretty close the her costume in tt03 and ds16. the second best time to give her a new costume is now. the best time was 2005. but thats not the point. the point is i think shes drawn so nice in these panels and i love the way she looks here <333

these two are just panels i really like <3 i love her screaming at people and i think she looks so pretty in both of these :)

god. this story was just so good for her all around. and i think she was drawn so well & i feel like there was at least an attempt to draw her with asian features which i appreciate. not to mention shes drawn older here! people tend to draw her like a 16 year old but she was drawn & treated like an adult in this story <333

anyways. more artists i love under the cut

tony daniel is probably my second fav, he drew her for like 3 issues in tt03 but she looked great in those 3 issues

i love her <3 its mostly because he was the first one to draw her after she joined the team but hes definitely the definitive rose artist to me

but also. i hate how he draws her costume. its way too blue and it just does not look right for some reason. idk exactly what it is about it i dont like but it just does not look good

but i like his art anyway <3 he draws a good rose

yildiray cinar is the artist for fresh hell and its honestly hit or miss for me.... i think the art looks amazing but in some of the panels it just doesnt really feel like rose ig?

like i cant describe it but this panel feels so rose:

but then this panel.. idk who this is is:

its nice but i dont.. love it. sometimes she looks great and sometimes she looks like some kind of barbie doll

but i think she looks great when shes drawn in costume in this one. i think cinar is probably my favorite artist for her pre52 costume <3 i cant put my finger on exactly what i like about it i just think it looks so good in this book

so his rose is sometimes great and sometimes eh. but my pfp is his rose so i cant complain too much

another one of my favs is fernando pasarin from deathstroke 2016 <3 ds16 has a few great artists for her but pasarin is my fav :)

i dont love how the hair is drawn but other than that i just think she looks nice here <3 not to mention he manages to draw the costume to look so good on her without making it seem oversexualized which is very impressive to me

i like how dexter soy draws her in knight terrors ravager too <3

idk what it is but i like how soy draws this costume even though i just complained about it when spokes drew it. it has the same problem of being kinda boring but i think its drawn really well here <3 the sneakers are a bad choice but overall i like how it looks in this book

and it pains me to say this. but another one of my favs is ian churchill in the ravagers

a slay is a slay i cant deny it. the thing that hurts most about this book is that the art is amazing but everything else about it is terrible. shes drawn so well! she looks great! its too bad about the writing and the characterization and the plot and everything else

i think thats all my favs <3 honestly i have no basis for what i consider to be good for her other than that it scratches my brain and it feels right in my heart

[rating-bears]

The country bear jamboree claims, and I quote, "Us bears we do love fishing, every hour if we could." But I MUST ask: do all bear types in the jamboree have a mainly fish diet? Would their methods to catch fish be best described as fishing? Would they truly spend so many hours on it without stopping to sing some delightful American tunes??? These are all highly important questions to me.

alright everypony buckle up

my first challenge in answering these questions is to figure out what species the country bears are, which is harder than it may seem. we have a couple clues, but mostly circumstantial evidence.

firstly, based on the fact that they are American and the general shape and character design of the models, we can conclude that they are either brown bears or black bears, or a mix of the two. but thats the easy part to figure out, it gets more complicated from here.

you might jump to say theyre brown bears because of the color of their fur, but that is Not how it works. the shade of a bears fur is determined by a number of environmental factors, not just their species. brown and black bears can have fur colored in any range from blonde to black and anything inbetween.

Next we move on to consider geography. The NUMBER ONE easiest way to figure out if you are facing a black bear or a brown bear is to simply remember where you are in the continental us.

This map isnt super accurate, but it does give the general idea of the range.

Brown bears tend to live farther north, and more on the west side, while black bears can be found just about anywhere there are mountains.

Now if we want to stereotype, and say they country bears are meant to fulfill Appalachian stereotypes, then the answer is pretty apparent, they are black bears that just have a lighter coloration.

And for the most part, I am happy with this answer. As far as i can tell there is no officials species, and as they are drawn in a more humanized way its hard to tell if they have species specific physical characteristics. Black bears are typically smaller and sleeker than brown bears, and although most of the country bears appear fluffy, that could just be considered part of their hair and makeup for their show.

HOWEVER, there are a few that i believe are brown bears, or meant to be brown bears. for example: Gomer. He is a brown bear. you can see in his character art and to a lesser extent his animatronic model, a noticeable hump in between his shoulder blades. this is a KEY indicator of being a brown bear. Ernest is also a brown bear, not because i have any specific reason, but because they call him that in his character description. Trixie is also described as a brown bear in a similar manner.

NOW ON TO THE FISH QUESTION!

Black bears and brown bears Do both eat fish, but where fish ranks in the hierarchy of their diet is different. Brown bears tend to be very avid fisher, with most of their diet consisting of fish. Black bears can and will fish, but due to their more spread out habitats will generally eat whatever is around.

Now, if you choose to believe that ALL of the country bears are brown bears ( well within your right) then that answers the question pretty cleanly! they fish and they eat fish and they are bears! butttttt if you buy into the black bear category then you get a more fun explanation. if the country bears are black bears then fishing can be more of a recreation hobby for them than their main way of collecting food! its something they seek out and do for fun! i think either explanation works here personally.

I would say heir methods to catch fish would be best described as fishing, its just a bit different from how we fish on account of they are bears and all!!

And i think they absolutely spend their fishin time singin good ole country bear songs!! thats half the fun! spendin time on the water, fishin up dinner, workshopping new songs, itd be a great way to bond, try out new melodies, and generally seems like the perfect way for a bear in showbizz to spend their days off!!!!

[galaxyshine24-7]

So you say that Yuu isnt much powerful than the mafia bosses (which realistically is true but i just wanna hype Yuu a lot) which got me thinking. Who is the strongest out of all the mafia bosses + Yuu in combat? Ik what your thinking, ik its Malleus. I meant it like, who is the most strongest to the least strongest thing ( i hope that makes sense, english is not my first language, apolagies)

(We always have to hype up Yuu, they need it. Also, your English is very good.)

Who is the strongest in a fight?

Least

Idia -The dude has learned how to fight, but he's behind a screen all day. He can barely talk to people, no way is he throwing hands.

Kalim- His family had him do self-defense classes so he's not hopeless.

Azul- The twins do most of the fighting for him, but he is pretty strong compared to humans with his octo genes. He never puts them to use, however.

Riddle- He was trained to be the jack of all trades including fighting. Not to mention his strategy skills are top-notch with all his research.

Yuu- Yuu is a wild card when it comes to fighting. They have been trained by great teachers, but they always put their own spin on how they handle an opponent. Their craftiness and creativity have gotten them very far in life.

Vil- Vil has trained his body to be flawless in fighting and keeps himself in top shape to run his gang. (There is a reason why Leona chose him for his hometown event.)

Leona-He has been trained in fighting since he was young. Fighting is one of the things he is best at and has been around formidable fighters for all his life.

Malleus- Ever since he was a baby Mal was trained in the art of battle. Lilia has the knowledge from being a great general and his family's military background. Malleus had the greatest time to hone his fighting skills. Not to mention being a fae with all his advanced abilities.

Strongest

[loving-n0t-heyting]

Out of curiosity what do you dislike about Ada Palmers books

so tbc i made my way thru vol 1 of terra ignota and the first bit of vol 2 before quitting, so im working with a limited sample. but such is the case with dismissal! so here goes:

the prose is... bad. its very likely i should just develop a higher tolerance on this, ik im effectively gatekeeping myself from some very conceptually solid fiction over a relatively superficial skill detached from the stuff that really deeply matters, but the style on a sentence-to-sentence level is just very underwhelming, which is a particular problem when in universe its supposed to be elevated and uplifting (like the speech at renunciation day). i dont mind purple prose but it like marries imo the worst aspects of purple and bland, its a chore to get thru it

the pacing feels sort of mechanical and arbitrary,. every fifty pages, on the dot, theres another twist pulled from the Twist Bag! im told this im proves but its a) not enough to make up for the other deficits and ii) a common thing said when it takes a certain amount of time for ppl to inure themselves to an in fact persistent defect in a long work

Your Kink Is Not My Kink (But Your Kink Is OK)

i do not care about these characters. its hard for me to go into more detail bc i have little grip on what makes characters "work" for me in general but i just. dont care what happens to any of them (besides best not-girl eureka weeksbooth 🤤)

the worldbuilding. by far the biggest letdown. ppl will tell you—repeatedly, at length—that this is the great strength of the series. do not listen to them! they are misguided. ada palmer is really good—gifted, even—at the first step of worldbuilding, much moreso than most writers! shes top notch at coming up with a broad element of the society that makes you think "whoa, i want to know how that works!" and then... you never do. the depths are never plumbed. the depths are never even adequately hinted at. nor are the depths even conspicuously hidden from view! she just... tells you that there are a bunch of totally complicated details, trust me guys, look here i came up with some technobabble and some percentages like i totally promise theres stuff going on behind here! but there just, so aggravatingly obviously isnt! the technobabble does not even give the illusion of depth, the way (imo) it does in almost nowhere, it gives the appearance of earnestly trying to project such an illusion. tears me out of the immersion every time. its probably worth mentioning that i know from firsthand reports that she is into larp stuff irl, which is notorious for attracting ppl with a high tolerance for would be un-suspensors of disbelief. which, again, may be a virtue on their part! but if so its one i lack, at least here

i was talking to birdblog who suggested much of it might be that the work is very capital-L Liberal, and i am very not. which i think is kind of true, but less in that this is a drawback it possesses and more that its a virtue it lacks. theres lots of fiction i enjoy that is transparently committed to big philosophical/moral/political claims im vehemently opposed to! off the top of my head: any shakespeare that involves kings, any bernard shaw that involves Society, log horizon (at least s01, havent seen past it), nausicaa of the valley of the wind (the manga, the movie is sort of opaque philosophically), a bunch of outright propaganda films from wwii (american, british, russian, japanese), several kipling short stories...

but like, i think that a visceral sympathy for the earnestly felt message of a work of art does help one excuse other flaws, and i suspect a lot of my fundamentally Liberalism-oriented friends are able to enjoy the series bc the author shares that same basic vision. which is certainly like, an interesting one! but on its own its not enough to compel me past the artistic demerits by being either spiritually akin to encourage me or sufficiently weird and novel to fascinate me

anyway, tell me why im wrong, terra ignotans! humani nihil a me alienum puto

[oliveoilsoda]

Today I Beat: Moon Remix RPG Adventure

Moon is a hard game for me to talk about. Not for the lack of anything, far from it, this game is filled to the brim with charm and strangeness but merely for the fact that I dont quite know where to begin. Ill start with the aspect of the game that I can speak the least about which is the gameplay. The game is best known as an "anti-rpg" and the gameplay reflects this by kinda not being an rpg. It plays a lot more like a point and click game but without the pointing and clicking. Most of the time your walking around and showing things to characters in hopes that they have something more useful to say then "huh?" and when your not doing that, your walking around aimlessly. A good chunk of the puzzles in this game can be pretty obtuse and any consistent flow of progress can be halted simply due to schedule conflicts. And while a part of me often felt frustrated that I had no clue what to do, the other part understood that it just came with the territory of being an "anti-rpg"; a rpg where you dont fight.

The term of "RPG" is used pretty loosely when used to describe games. Despite standing for "Role Playing Game", rpgs are known more commonly for how you play them. Killing enemies to gain XP so you can level up to kill more enemies and so on until you can kill the big bad. This is where the story of moon comes in, by putting you at the other end of the sword. While I wont be spending much time going over the story as I think its best experienced by playing the game and not listening to some autistic girl blabble on, I will relay the general gist of the game. The game starts as a fairly generic rpg, shining armor and all, but just as you reach the end, the perspective changes. You are no longer a knight on a mission to slay a dragon but a child controlling said knight but just as he is ready to walk away for the night, he gets sucked into the tv. It is then your job to save the souls of the "monsters" slain by the knight, acting almost as an angel (albeit in the form of a dead child rather than a divine being but I digress). With all of this being said, its time for me to divulge into what truly makes this game special to me: its style.

To this day I have yet to find a game that quite looks like moon. Its almost as if the developers were throwing art styles against the wall to see whatever stuck and just, nothing fell off. The game uses pre-rendered images for the backgrounds which isnt at all unusual especially for ps1 games but its in moons disinterest of realism where they truly feel unique.

Often, the game will not only used pre-rendered images of early cg settings but will then add real images into them, making them make the distinction between what is real and what is cgi all the more apparent. One could analyze this as a metaphor for the games themes, a digital world clashing with human emotions but I think thats missing the forest for the trees here. The clashing of both elements make for such a distinct style and thats not even mentioning the character designs.

You could have told me that every character in this game come from different games with radically different art styles and I would have no reason to disagree. However with the game being as strange as it is, no one feels out of place. And I havent even gotten started on the claymation sprites.

Im a big big stop motion fan so naturally when i found out that all 51 "monsters" are animated using said medium, I stood up and did 2 cartwheels.

Its a great way to distinct them from anything else in the game as saving their souls is the main focus of the game. It reminds me of old cartoons where you could tell what would move or not based off the coloring. If this doesn't show how you special of a game this is I dont know what will.

My personal favorite aspect of the game, however, isn't the graphics, isn't the gameplay, but the soundtrack or rather lack thereof (in a traditional sense).

In moons ambitious goal to subvert almost every norm in gaming, most of the game takes place in total silence with the exception of your own foot steps, occasional ambiance and a rare dramatic sting. Thats not to say the game has no music in it though, far from it. Instead of your normal scripted music, game features what is, in essence, a built in mp3 player.

However instead of adding your own music, the game features 36 songs, MDs as the game calls it, all ranging in artist, genre, and even tone. Some songs will act as a mellow ambiance and others lean closer to breakcore. This MD is my personal favorite:

As this "review" ,or whatever you wanna call it, comes to a close, id like to talk about my favorite scene in the game.

-SPOILERS AHEAD-

Once you've completed your mission of constructing the rocket, your sent into the abyss of space and for almost 10 minutes your just venturing quietly into the stars with nothing much happening. That is until a character who i will not name, fades in and out of existence on top of your ship and the melancholic masterpiece of a song "Promise" starts to play

He tells you:

"Soon your journey will come to an end.

When one journey ends...another journey begins.

Life is like one night's dream.

Waking and sleeping

Birth and death.

Many things appear and vanish.

What has vanished appears.

You and I are no exception.

Throughout the universe...everything dies, and is born

Life rolls on down the road.

The question is, when you wake from the dream, when will you set out toward another dimension? Will you be able to open the door?

Soon you will reach our final destination.

Perhaps we'll meet again, at the side of some road.

Goodbye."

9/10

[twistedwonderlandboiimagines]

Heyo! I'd like to request a romantic TWST match-up if you're still taking them, thank you!

I'm a Libra INFP

Personality: I'm a tomboy that tends to lean more towards an optimistic point of view, always striving to better myself for the people I care about and leave a positive impact on the world around me. As hard as I try to learn and be patient and break patterns I grew up with, I definitely have my moments of backsliding into snapping at the slightest inconveniences and adopting a very passive aggressive persona of sorts. But with that being said, I've also worked hard to develop my self awareness to realize when I've gone too far and to try and make things right when the worst does happen. Compassion is something I try very hard to embody and I've been described as bubbly by my friends lmao.

I'm also a very curious person, a lover of stories that were my friends growing up (if it helps any I heavily relate to Belle from Beauty and the Beast). I like learning what weird and strange things are out there in the world and figuring out how different stories manage to move me in different ways and how other people read into them.

Likes: I draw, I write, I play a little guitar, I sing, I collect art books, I generally adore the arts in any form they take. Physical touch and words of affirmation are my love languages and I give amazing hugs according to a lot of people in and outside my family. I tend to daydream a lot and I get my best ideas from those sessions, and I value my alone time to recharge my social battery as much as I like spending time with the people I care about.

Dislikes: Constantly having to be the only one driving the conversation is a deal breaker for me, I want who I'm talking to to be invested and ready and willing to engage with me. Extreme close-mindedness and inflexibility towards even considering different perspectives is also a deal breaker.

Overall, what I want the most out of a partner is to be seen and understood.

Anon, the past delinquent turned honor student i pair you up is..

Deuce Spade

Lets be honest a tomboy partner would fit him given his history of liking to rumble

He's all for you trying to change for the better given that he's on the same journey himself! It'd be great for the two of you to keep each other accountable (if Riddle isnt around to straighten him out of course

Deuce likes that you've got your hand in a bit of everything in terms of hobbies, it makes him curious to try them out himself and he can show you some of his, like riding blastcycles.

He also very much appreciates your optimism, giving the students at NRC can be a bit nasty to each other at times.

The Heartslabyul student doesn't mind you being an introvert, things are always lively at school regardless so if anything its a change of pace

will literally fight or deal with what or whoever makes you upset; sometimes he isn't the best at keeping his own emotions in check so if you're angry, he is too

As for the love languages, Deuce doesn't mind hugging or physical contact, you can do as much as you want with him, and he always praises you when you've done something he finds smart or cool.

According to your zodiac signs, Gemini and Libra are a strong match!

[yoiku]

Man, last week... started off optimistic and ended up in the pits kinda.

We made plans for me to join a 15 month course to find fitting job(s) with the aim of going to said jobs and trying them out. Sounds good and is something i am interested in, but after friday all i've been thinking is that maybe it's too much too soon. I'm still thinking if i can manage 3 days of workshop/week instead of 2... so diving into something that can have 4-5x 6hr days/week is making me very anxious and already feeling bad if I end up not having the energy to do it. I think its the main thing that has dropped my mood bc I know that the chances of me getting a part-time job in any of the fields that interest me and are something i could be able to do physically, is pretty nonexistent. All of those fields have severe oversupply of potential workers against the amount available jobs, in the entire country. So the chances of getting employed as someone who doesn't have any substancial studies in the field, isn't able bodied or mentally okay... Lets just say it isnt exactly an encouraging thought. I just feel like no matter what I am entirely useless when it comes to any employment that i feel i could perhaps be able to do. If an able-bodied, neurotypical and socially capable person with a suitable degree can't get a job in those fields, what are my chances? lol. I dunno. Already feels like a failure if I muster up the courage to say that I feel like I've said OK to things that I'm not actually sure about. I'm sure they'll understand if I say i'd rather focus on getting back into 3 workshop days and trying to progress my rights for therapy for now. I don't know. I feel conflicted with my own thoughts. Part of me thinks I should give it a go even if I drop out - id at least be certain that it was too much. But I also know how heavily dropping out from anything hits me mentally, so i am genuinely afraid of seeing the bottom of the pit again. The psychologist at the current evaluation course did say she thinks taking things as slowly as needed is probably the best for me considering everything they've summed up abt me so far. I'll try to talk about it at least.

On a less depressing note, the results from the various psych/neuro tests were partly curious. My mathematical skills being extremely below average wasn't a surprise, lmao! But I found it curious that the one that was the highest above average was linguistic skills, followed by the less surprisingly above average spatial awareness that involved shapes, patterns and other stuff that i think any artistic person would excel at. Accuracy was great but speed was awful, lmao. Overall I scored pretty average on the cognitive side. Worth noting is that I am medicated now and I did take my adhd meds on that day as well, so that likely helped slightly with the accuracy and overall concentration. (a lot of the tests had a time limit) Interesting tests though, and I'm glad it gets written up into my files as well, because it's more proof to the fact that my autism is mostly affecting me on the social side of things. I would be really interested to take the same tests in a busy/noisy environment or with some sort of forced interrupts like someone asking you something entirely different suddenly and see just how much of a disaster that would be trying to get back into focusing on the test tasks then, lol. That's morely likely how things are after all if we think of these tests as a measure of how will you get by in the world of working a job, unless you really have a job where you get to work alone in a perfect environment for yourself. (man i love making art at home)

[small-plant-friends]

Hey there, long time! Somehow, you're the only person I still follow who loves Star Wars, and I just wanted to share an article (link below) that came out today. Do you agree/disagree with the article's premise that Star Wars, the MCU, etc. serve as an outlet for folks who are looking for meaning outside of traditional religion?

https://thehill.com/opinion/civil-rights/3986205-a-new-hope-star-wars-day-is-about-more-than-just-a-movie-franchise/

Ok well you've got me going now. Not sure if you were expecting all this but I've been wanting to write an essay and this is a great prompt for me. I honestly don't know if I even answered the question, this is all just rambling. So first off I think it is very important for me to say all of this is my own opinion and I am not a researcher. Also this article is very pro-organized religion.

The article is a very good one. I found it really interesting but not for the reason the article is talking about . The article is basically speaking on the ways in which people are leaving religion, as things like Star Wars and the MCU become more popular. Now I want to make it very clear that I in no way think that Star Wars or the MCU or anything else of the sort are a religion. The article touches on this by saying “of course most Star Wars Day observants are not true believers of the Jedi religion.” 

The article says “even though the vast majority of fans …are not consciously seeking a religious experience, the fact that people in wealthy, technologically advanced nations are turning away from traditional religion may make them more likely to turn fandom into something that resembles faith.” This is where I really start to disagree with the article. This quote is basically saying that people are thinking of fandom as a religion because they don't believe in any traditional religions. They go so far as to say “…research suggests that the growing interest in these alternative beliefs is driven by the need for meaning that traditional religious faiths have historically helped meet.” It is very, very important to point out this research article that is linked is from a journal website and it is therefore not a reliable source. This is a statement saying that religion is a vital part of the human experience and we must feel the absence of it. Now I can say personally, the absence of religion is felt in my life but in a way that is keeping me from ever joining another religion (I was previously christian, it was not the best experiance). This article is so pro-religious that I don't find anything in the article to be an unbiased analysis of the connection between religion and fandom. 

Now, with all that out of the way, here in the opinion of a 21 year old college senior. Disclaimer, I was a hard core christian for the first 13/14 years of my life and have been out of the religion completely for the last 6 years. Also I am a fine arts major, neither writing or research is my specialty, I was just asked a question and had some big thoughts on it. 

So, to segway into this and quote the article one more time with possibly the only thing I agreed with, it says, “...function of fiction suggests content like “Star Wars” isn’t mere entertainment.” Even though the article was using this quote to say Star Wars isnt just entertainment because it was made to secretly be pushed into a religion, this is still true. Stories that people get so invested in are not just entertainment, but a community. I don't think people need religion to have a fulfilled life the way the article above says, but we do need community. With things like growing mental illness, and covid, make these community connections in real life harder than ever before. One way we make a community connection is with the shows and film themselves. People get invested in shows, we become part of the story, we feel anxiety over the plot, and we mourn characters that aren't real but that grief absolutely is real. Christiane Manzella is a grief counselor at the Seleni Institute for Women, she is cited in a TIME article stating “We create meaning and then experience actual grief when that connection is broken.” We love and lose with the people we see on screen just the same as if we knew the fictional people face to face. 

This brings me to the next point; fandom. Fandom is another way that people create community. I don't think it is a religion, I don't think anyone in fandom thinks it's a religion but it is just as important to some people as religions are to others. All fandoms of all parts of media are a way for people to find deep connections with those that have like minds. We grieve together, we celebrate together and we create a sense of community surrounded by many of the same ideas. These are also things that most religions have but most people in fandom don't worship the fandom or blindly believe in the fandom with no critical thinking in regard to the bad things that inevitably occur in fandom. Now there is an increase in people, especially young people joining alternate religions but its not because of fandoms but more directed to the blind faith and support of the bad things that happen and are actively supported by religions.

@zuko-is-crazy I'm so sorry if I rambled myself right out of answering your question but this is an essay on the thoughts that sparked in my mind when I saw your ask.

Dockterman, E. (2015, April 24). 'grey's anatomy' Derek Shepherd: It's OK to mourn MCDREAMY DEATH. Time. Retrieved May 4, 2023, from https://time.com/3834589/grief-counselor-mourn-fictional-character-death/