#maggot bears

[jevilowo]

Went to France instead of making Soldier Ships. And then Forgor. Apologies.

Ranking Tf2 Ships Part 2: Soldier

Batting Helmet

See the first list lmao

It's hilarious, basically.

Sollycest

I think their combined power would destroy the planet. So.

Objectively funny also, however

Fireworks

Im like 90% sure thats the ship name but i havent touched my shipping website in months soooooo

Same genre as batting helmet, but objectively BETTER, because they actively meet each others' crackpot level. And there's minimal choking.

Seriously check out the tag on ao3 some absolutely BRILLIANT fics on there shout out to uhhh i think they're called Hanktalkin and they've written the best ones

Realistically would destroy everything around them. I'm beginning to think that would just happen with most Solly ships.

Boots n Bombs

SHOUT OUT TO BOOTS N BOMBS WEIRDLY UNDERATED DESPITE BEING THE FOURTH MOST POPULAR SHIP ON AO3. Crazy gap between bloody suit (1000+) and them (like around 450).

EMESIS BLUE. URGH. THEY KILL ME.

WAR! UPDATE. URGH. THEY CONTINUE TO KILL ME.

CUT VOICELINES. URGH. THEY SUCEEDED IN KILLING ME. I AM DEAD.

Lovely lovely dynamic, platonic or otherwise. At least Besties in every universe, team colours be damned.

And the YURI. ARGH I saw someone describe WAR! solly x demo as yuri coded bc of their "unbearably sapphic levels of miscommunication" which HAHA YEAH but I mostly mean the genderbendy art it's Exquisite.

Bonus points for when they're polying up they cule with Zhanna also. I had to explain the word polycule to a classmate the other day isn't that wild. Anyways the three of them match each others' freaks.

Cold War

When you're so determined for this idiot to not fuck your sister you fuck him instead lmao

Pretty fun in theory, in practice I think they'd both hate it.

Um shout out to that one fic i read once where soldier ruptured his throat giving heavy head that was. Something. I mean that in a nice if midly bemused way btw.

Helmet Party

Save me helmet party etc etc

The art on here for them is adorable genuinely the softest i see solly portrayed in fanworks is with engie

In canon Solly seems to respect Engie the most? E.g. Expiration date: stops choking out scout when asked to by Engie, takes Engie's "teleport bread if u want" comment as an ORDER, even the whole QUESTION whatsurquestionsoljer exchange felt very I ASK OF YOU, COMMANDING OFFICER!! What having another True American on the team does to a mf i guess. Scout isnt a True American he's french.

I mean i still like boots n bombs more lol but helmet party fans i see u and i love u especially when u make it yuri.

Fruit Scones

Look up the story behind the ship name guys its great

As a ship to me it's heavymedic but without everything that makes heavymedic the Ship Of All Time

Solly's pocket medic cosmetic is cute tho

Uhhh as long as soldier never made the germany connection i think it could work? Like he'd let medic do crazy shit to him and medic would giggle and kick his feet over it. Then again there's no way medic wasnt doing fucked up shit to n*zis during ww2 so ykw it would probably work out regardless yippeee

OH YEAH THE NICKNAMES whenever i play medic and hear a cmere sweetheart/pumpkin/sally/cupcake I lose all control of myself and suddenly become a pocket medic teehee.

American Aviators

Its a sniper ship and not sb so I automatically like it

Tragically not that compatible. Sniper would find soldier too loud and soldier would find sniper too unamerican in his shooting things from far away tactics.

They have potential to be good friends tho i think. I've always seen Sniper as a trolling god (see that one in character interview john patrick lowry did in uh 2014 i think) and Solly would eat that shit up.

Freedom Fries

Ehhh?

Art on here is cute. Don't get me wrong. Love that.

HOWEVER. in no universe would they actually Function as a couple. Sorry guys. 54727474 dead 277282848 injured.

I am also put off it because people flock to it (and, sigh, mediscout,) over boots n bombs in the emesis blue side of the fandom. I AM NOT SHIP SHAMING BY THE WAY, I GOT ACCUSED OF THAT ONCE AND HAVE YET TO EMOTIONALLY RECOVER, but i reallyyyy wish people would focus less on Most Toxicly Basic Yaoi Known To Man, and more on Tragic Doomed Yaoi Where Both Parties Actually Kind Of Like Eachother And Didn't Both Try To Kill Each Other (russian roulette and the grenade at the funeral). AGAIN I AM NOT SHIP SHAMING HERE PLS DON'T CONSUME ME SHIP WHAT YOU WANT GIRLYPOPS.

Sollypauling

I have a crack headcanon that he's her father so that's put me off seeing them romantically haha

I wrote a fic about The Fathering once at 12am and im still not sure whether i hate it or not so don't read it just to be safe <3

Magic Missiles

DIVORCED!!! *autism creature confetti gif*

Jay Pinkerton (comic writer) allegedly reblogged MM art once. And he refuses to let their dynamic go in the comics. I.e. "the heart wants what the heart wants, Merasmus". Truly their biggest fan.

I love them i really do. Only slightly less toxic than fucking adminpauling imo, and thats like britney spears dootdootdootdootdootdootdootdoot bweebwahbweebwahbwahh levels of toxic

Maggot Bears

Based based utterly based fucking detergent levels of based and thats like 13 or something on the pH scale (i.e. Extremely Based)

They do in fact destory everything around them, proving my earlier hypothesis lol.

Idiot 4 Idiot. Dumbass 4 Dumbass. They both get naked to pee. I love them. I want to be them.

Again, bonus points when Demo is involved. Uwaaa.

I love the lack of consistent ship name for them. East meets West? Maggot Bears? Boots n Brawn? Zhannasolly? There's one involving honey as well but i forgor it and I've been typing so much I've got pins and needles in my left hand so i give up. Peace.

[highways-are-liminal-spaces]

Life and death at the Shrine of St. Therese, Juneau

Taken September 2023

[another-delta-lover]

OILED UP ZHANNA BECAUSE SHES CANONICALLY MY WIFE! SHE'S IN THE SCRUNCKLE LORE!

🙏

istg if this post gets flagged imma be MAAADD

HERE U GO!!! I HOPE THIS DOESN'T GET FLAGGED JAISDAKDA

[TW/CW: NONSEXUAL NUDITY!!!!]

HEAVY DON'T KILL ME I DIDN'T WANT TO DRAW THISSS (btw soldier mtf headcanon for the soul)

[emilythedog661-tf2]

Hi, sorry if this isn't the place to ask this, but what IS Maggot Bear/Russian Raccoon? I know you said it's something you won't do but I'm curious what it actually is!

It basically the Ship names for Soldier and Zhanna (Heavy's Sister) from the comic and i don't like it, already talked about it twice before why i don't like it and i don't want talk about it again 😠

(also, this doesn't mean i hate Zhanna, i like Zhanna as a interdependent character and i think she should be better off with Miss.Pauling more then Soldier)

[darkcloudsatnight]

Hello, it is I, back flipping anon!

I am here to bother you with questions and then do my deed.

Head canons for helmet part??? I also want to write you a little fanfic about them but I dunno what to write so gimme some requests pls!

There's any other ships you like?

Opinions on bushmedicine, quick fix and bloody suit

That is all, dear friend

*throws love at you and runs away while back flipping furiously*

@back-flipping-anon

I did make a post abt my helmet party hcs, so I can just link it here

AND I WOULD LOVE A LIL FANFIC THANK YOU 😭😭😭

Requests.... hmmmmmmm...........

I'm not good at requests but just something nice, sweet, and simple por favor

ALSO

Other ships I like:

Flash fire, Red Oktoberfest, Boots n Bombs (sometimes), Maggot Bear (I think that's what it was called, I'm not good with remembering names of any kind, also only sometimes) scoutpauling (can't remember the name for that) Swordvan, and I think that's it.

Opinion on those ships you named:

1. Bushmedicine.

I, personally, am not a big fan of bushmedicine, and I know a number of people like it, but for me, I just don't see the dynamic, yk? Like, it's an insane, loud, experimental man, and a quiet, isolated, mostly laid back man together. I just don't really see that. (But that's just based off my perspective, I can see how people would like it, but it's just not for me)

2. Quick fix

Now, this one I don't like that much because it just makes me a bit uncomfortable, yk? Like, the personality difference is INSANE (at least to me). Scout acts more like a rowdy teenager and medic is more like an actual "mature" adult. It just makes me uncomfortable with the way I see those characters, with my perspective on this making me see it more like shipping student with a teacher, yk?

3. Bloody suit

Now, this one I was first introduced to when I first got into the tf2 fandom and whatnot, so I liked it back then. Now I realize how... weird it can get, (as if the other ones can't get weird as well) and I'm not as into it as I was, but I still enjoy it now and then.

And, no hate to these ships, I understand that people like these for their own reasons and if you like these, I ain't judging you, I just don't like the ship like you do.

AND THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE QBJRJDBWKWBRKDBSJ 😭😭😭

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

here's a current WIP about Bill's trauma around large dogs :)

oooh facinating :] make that guy afraid of things it's great :]

[dollsciple]

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

thinking about the soldier heavily pregnant and eating burgers ask. soldier needs to get pampered and fed So bad it wouldn't fix him but it would be sexy so whatever. i think i have covid

STOPPPP I can't take this I can't just POST shit like this I have FOLLOWERS... Soldier tf2's burgers and apple pie and fireworks and freedom American fantasy and also he's malepregnant because it's tf2. God bless America. Imagine the national anthem playing in increasing volume as you read this post

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

YOU WHO ARE SO KNOWLEDGEABLE IN THE WAYS OF AUSTRALIA, WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF DROP BEAR ATTACKS?

I HAVE HEARD OF THEM INDEED, I'M ASSUMING THE BEARS LIKE DROPPED OUT OF TREES AND ATTACKED HUMANS BY LANDING ON THEM AND SLASHING THEM TO DEATH?

(I CAN'T SAY SLASH WITHOUT THINKING OF FANFICTION HELP)

I DON'T THINK IT WAS AN EMU WAR KIND OF SITUATION SO I'M ASSUMING THIS ATTACK WAS A RUTHLESS ELIMINATION OF SEVERAL AUSTRALIANS THROUGH BEARILLA WARFARE

AUSTRALIAN MAGGOTS? AM I RIGHT? @howmanyholesinswisscheese @obsessed-sketches

[afuntimepartyy]

!!! Warning for general body horror and a lot of eyes where they should not be !!!

Earlier post I mostly just posted doodles involving unwell and vector, with a hint of other nightbears.... huzzah more nightbears!!! may actually get some posts in a queue for once so I don't forget!

These are all general designs and concepts so! expect some more posts using these designs n what not BLEHHHH!!!

[the-owl-tree]

cooking even further rn, since you said that maggotstar was inspired by brokenstar there should be another isekai'd cat to act like yellowfang, that character being maggotstar's dad as both a human and a cat. the human version of maggotstar's dad is a hippie who grew up in 1970s Seattle, is a vegan (even as a cat), smokes way too much weed (catnip as a cat) and cries about missing Bob Marley.

I propose the name Bearstep for him

i'm loving the idea of this naked cat and their massive hairy dad. truly a "what do you mean you two are RELATED" duo

[marlowe1-blog]

The Book of Job Chapter 7

Job talks to God, continues the theme of the first chapters

Remember how I said that the first chapters reminded me of The Magicians in the way that getting God's attention was a VERY BAD IDEA? (in the magicians, it's polytheistic so any god could be awful to you. In Job, it's God but there's an angel named Asshole who responds to G-d when he gets overly praising.) So a lot of this chapter is Job asking G_d why he's paying attention to him.

He's not a dragon who needs to be set watch over. (Ok. just a second while I look up what that word in Aramaic is...Behemoth. The word is Behemoth. I guess that's a better translation than Robert Alter going "Bear"). He shouldn't be watched like he's a beast.

So the beginning is like Qoheleth - havel havelim - with Job describing his life as a clouds flying away and weaver shuttle. Also his skin is broken and festering and he's covered in maggots. Yummy. We are all going to die and no one comes back from that.

The next part is Job being personal. Why are you looking at me, God? Am I really that interesting? Is it really entertaining that you want to terrify me and give me bad dreams. At this point, I am loving Job's line "I will not speak with restraint. I will give voice to my anguish."

Note that this is a part of the grieving process. Job started out not speaking and then only speaking to himself. But now he's saying directly to God "No, I won't shut up."

And then we get to "what is man that G-d would even care?" and it's a tough question. No easy answer but Job is more on the tear of asking G-d to just leave him alone. He's already miserable. Why not just let him swallow his spittle in peace. He's going to die soon anyhow.

[gollygeedash]

Sketches I did for December’s Patreon stream!

Ginger slicing though a slime for Jay, Simon in a cardboard gunpla suit, @technoskates‘s goblin fella, and some assorted characters and critters!

[yumenosakiacademy]

whatever dumbass sekai fan added these 2 the candycore section on aesthetic wiki needs 2 get their taste checked bc these arent candycore at all :I left is possibly cottagecore, w its focus on strawberries n teddies which r both comforting n its muted green color scheme n a complete LACK of sweets on it. not sure what the 2nd would constitute as, but the colors arent bright or pastel at all n jus bc it has a fruit on it doesnt mean its candycore. candycore is 4 SWEETS n CANDIES. idc tht u wanna include ur stupid oshi on here.

[bogleech]

What if zombies or other animate corpses just didnt even move like the living version whatsoever? I don't mean like they're all spooky jittery or scuttling, I mean like who's to say the reanimating force even cares which end is which or what legs are for? I'm saying what if zombies happened and it turns out they flop around like sea lions or even like stranded fish and it's faster than you'd think because they aren't held back by pain and the rot keeps lightening them. Eventually the limbs might wear away and drop off and they're acting like big wriggling maggots. Or they don't even understand how to move but they bury or hide themselves everywhere and wait to fold up all their limbs on you like a human corpse bear trap. Or I dunno, what if they roll everywhere? Tumbleweed style, hoop snake style, sideways like a hot dog, who knows. They're just sacks of putrid meat they don't need to imitate living behavior at all.

[allurilove]

Yandere x Zombie you

Rated 18 + — mature short content !

Includes: Body mutilation, gore, stalking, desperate and perverted man, gender neutral reader, begging, dry humping.

*He doesn’t have a name, and is referred to as “your stalker,” He only exists for reader, and without you, he ceases to exist. Here is part two! This is purely fictional writing!*

Synopsis: It’s the zombie apocalypse, and you’re a zombie who has a little stalker/fan. He tried to offer himself to you, but you want nothing to do with him.

You’re just trying to go on about your day being a zombie, but an annoying and persistent man won’t leave you alone. He thinks he’s slick, but you see him, and best him every time.

Your stalker always hated zombies. They reeked of death, their breath sour, and their jaws claimed thousands of souls. He kept quiet as he tiptoed around, hiding his body behind a trash can as you feasted on your latest victim.

You went for the jugular, your teeth puncturing their skin, and a burst of metallic tasting blood filled your mouth. You were wild. Your whole hands, neck, chest, and face were stained with blood. You had a couple of flies around you, which you ate as a snack too.

However, with you, he was infatuated. He never once thought it was disgusting that your skin stuck to your skull, your arm twisted in an unnatural way, and how your hair was matted. Or how your clothes were torn, and you had holes in your shoes.

He tried to trap you. But unlike the other zombies, you were smart. The bear trap didn’t work, he tried to lasso you and failed, he spent time building you a cage, just for you to trap him in it.

When you went after a group of humans, he panicked. He hated when you went after a crowd, and he watched with his heart hammering. He prayed that you would survive, and rip them to shreds.

Your stalker often made sure you were well fed. He dragged an old body that remained untouched, and he purposely pushed it into your view. He winced as the body rolled down the hill and knocked you down like a bowling pin. Whoops.

After this has gone on for months, he became envious. Your attention was solely focused on the girl you trapped against the wall, he huffed and puffed, crossing his arms as the girl continued to scream. He began to wonder how it would feel to be eaten by you.

He handed himself to you like he was the best thing around. He took a shower by the lake, scrubbing his body clean from the dirt and grime. Your stalker wondered if he should just be nude so you had an easier access to him, or be clothed and make you work for it…

Your stalker whistled as he approached you, but you didn’t look at him. Your body just wandering around the abandoned building, and he waved at you. But you ignore him. He purposely laid down in front of you, but you just step on his stomach, making him groan in pain. He watched as you were on the move again, and he grabbed onto your ankle.

“Wait— please!” He tried to bargain with you, “I swear I taste good!” Your stalker whined as you just drag him around, trying to go on about your day again. He decided to do something drastic.

Your stalker needed your attention. He needed to feel your hands on him. He stuffed his mouth with his sock, and he picked up his blade. He jumped a couple of times and his joggers slipped down a bit, enough for him to pull out his member.

It hurt like a bitch. He bit down hard onto the sock as his tears welled up in his eyes, he cut his member from the base— wanting to give you the whole thing.

He handed you his cock, and you took the phallic looking thing in your hands. With some sick perversion he wanted to see you eat it, to hold it in your hands, and watch it disappear down your throat.

He’s seen you eat raccoons, rats, pigeons, and decomposed maggot filled bodies rotting away in the hot summer sun, their guts spilled open, and there was barely any flesh left to eat. He’s seen you dig through trash and shove it in your face.

He watched you tear into your own arm after not being able to find something to feed on for weeks. He watched you bite into a pee soaked leg after the human pissed itself after seeing your morbid face.

And yet you wouldn’t eat his freshly cut dick?

You looked at him with an unamused expression.

Your stalker frowned, his hands snatching back his body part after you refused to eat it. His hands were shaking, and his legs about to give out— due to his wound he haphazardly wrapped with bandages. His ego was bruised.

You continued to stare at him with disgust, as if you haven’t done something as vile as this. But to be fair, it wasn’t your fault that you were eating humans. It was the damn virus.

First, you don’t care to eat him. Second, you barely seem interested in him. And now third, you’re rejecting his offering? This was enough to make a grown man cry.

“Is it too small for you?” He pouted. “I- I happen to be a grower-“

He swore he saw you roll your eyes. For someone who barely had any mobility except for shuffling around, you had the gall to roll your eyes. You just groan. You try to wave your arm at him�� to dismiss him, but you just smacked his face.

“Am I not appealing to you?” He glared at you, his face turning pale. His pants are soaked in blood, and he twitched.

The man fell down to his knees, throwing his dismembered cock to the side, and he clasped his hands together. His breath is ragged, and looked at you as if you were an angel who could take him out of his misery.

And so you do.

Most of your victims are scared, clawing at your arms and leaving red harsh marks on your skin, but he holds you closer. He moaned as your body was pressed up against his— chest to chest. You sat right on his hips. His blood tasted like nectar, it was pleasant and sweet. Your tongue swiped at his sweat.

“Oh god yes! Please eat me!” He cried out, and his fingers dig into your rib cage as you start to grind onto him.

He was already on deaths door step, his heart beat slowing down, and his grip slightly loosened. Your stalker’s moans, and the chanting of your name quiets. It wasn’t long before he let out his last breath.

Your stomach is full and you’re satisfied.