#my Bavarian friends gave it to me

[ageofbajabule]

Dawn of Love | Chapter 1

Josh Kiszka x F! Reader

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: Fluff, Anxiety talk?, (i don’t think i’m truly missing anything. if i am please let me aware!)

Series Masterpost

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Author’s Note: (18+ themes further on in the series) This series is going to be my baby, my pride and joy. I’ve been putting so much time and thought into this, and I truly do hope you all enjoy it and what I have planned. Please understand no themes relating to 18+ will take place until Josh and Reader are of consenting legal age in the series. Other than that, I do hope you enjoy this series.

October 2013

You had moved around different school districts thanks to your father being in the military… But this move was the final one. He had retired from the Air Force and decided to move to a small town. Known by the name Frankenmuth. It was a Bavarian town, everyone knew everyone and everyone was friendly.

Fitting in wasn’t typically hard, but being a new student in school also put you in the spotlight. You never really made the time to make actual friends considering the situation you grew up in being a military family. So this time around, you had to make the effort to find friends. All day you had the boring classes of general studies. But the class you couldn’t wait for was poetry - something about poetry just spoke to you, it always gave you the feeling of a welcoming home.

It wasn’t always just poetry that caught your eye, film and theatre also held a special place in your heart.

Something about the way Shakespeare wrote always called out to you - specifically Macbeth.

The bell rang indicating your Math class had finally ended. And your last class of the day was Poetry. Making your way there, you had entered the classroom. It was a smaller class, giving it an elective course. There was about 9 other people, you sat near the front of the classroom. The first bell had rang, the teacher waited for any last minute students. And sure enough a boy with shoulder length wavy hair cane sprinting in.

“Sorry! I got stuck in a little traffic jam there in the hallway.” The brunette boy laughed,

“Mr.Kiszka… This isn’t anything new. You need to do better on being on time.”

Mr.Zawalski motioned for him to join the class. He ended up sitting at the desk beside you.

“Last week we finished up our readings from Emily Dickinson, we will be starting with Edgar Allen Poe today. I’m sure most of you are well aware of his work, he had a very different approach than most poets.” Mr.Zawalski spoke as he started parading around the classroom. Everything about Poe, he wasn’t typically your style, but you had grown to like his work.

“He’s kind of a bore… I wish he was a bit more enthusiastic when teaching.”

The brunette boy had leaned over to whisper to you, chuckling as he saw you jump at the sound of his voice, making you giggle softly.

“He has a very monotone voice… Makes me want to fall asleep.” You shifted your body so more of you turned to face the stranger beside you.

“I’m sorry. Let me introduce myself, I’m Joshua Kiszka. But you can call me Josh. What’s your name?”

“I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N, but you can call me Y/N.” You smiled at him softly.

“Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. Are you new here?” Then you heard Mr.Zawalski clear his throat, “Mr.Kiszka this isn’t time for mingling. Would you care to enlighten the classroom on what Poe’s poems were inspired by?”

Josh’s cheeks turned a shade of pink, then turned towards the teacher. “His own childhood trauma. At least that’s what most researchers have gathered.”

Seeming to be satisfied with Josh’s answer, Mr. Zawalski nodded and proceeded to carry on with his lecture - leading you and Josh to giggle quietly.

Before the end of class, Mr.Zawalski had announced there would be a project. And you had to pair up with somebody. Being you had been a new student and the only person you really clicked with was Josh, it was obvious who your partner would be.

“Well I guess we’ll be partners then?” He turned towards you,

“If you’re okay with that?” You smiled softly.

“Of course. Here is my number so we can start working on it.” He smiled taking your phone to type his credentials in, you sent him a text right away for him to save your information. “I’m free whenever. Except for this Wednesday night, I have theater tryouts.”

“I’ll be there too!” You smiled at him.

He chuckled softly, your smile turned wider. “Oh really? That’s great.”

You felt a blush creep onto your face.

“So what part are you trying for?” The bell then interrupted your conversation, “Guess you’ll have to find out at tryouts.” He smirked, getting up.

“That is a whole two days away!” You groaned getting up from your desk.

“I’ll tell you what, come over tonight so we can start working on this project. And maybe I’ll run a few lines to give you a hint at what part.” He cocked an eyebrow.

“Fine. You better stick to your word.” You giggled softly, walking towards your locker.

“You can come over around 5, join my family and I for dinner. My mom always makes enough to practically feed the neighborhood.” Josh spoke as he followed behind you, smiling from ear to ear as he spoke.

“Sure, as long as she doesn’t mind.” He shook his head, “She’ll be thrilled.” He smiled, then he was being pulled by a brunette guy who looked similar to him. But his hair was like a Justin Bieber style cut.

“Josh, we’re gonna be late for band practice.”

“Jeez, Jake I would’ve been right out!” Josh shouted, you looked between the two of them confused. “Sorry Y/N. This is my brother Jake.”

He smiled at you, “Twin brother actually.” Jake chimed in,

“But I’m older by 5 minutes!”

“Will you ever live that down?”

You giggled softly at them bickering. “It was great to meet you, but I don’t want to keep y’all from band practice. I didn’t know you were in the school band.” You smiled softly.

“No. Not a band for school, we have an actual band. We’re just getting started still…” Jake shook his head as he scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“Oh. I’m sorry… Well, have fun, and I’ll see you later.” You flashed a smile before leaving the two of them to go on with their business.

➳

You had luckily gotten your license recently before moving to Michigan and asked to use your mom’s car to drive over to Josh’s house to work on your project tonight.

The drive wasn’t too far from where you lived, in fact you only live a couple blocks from each other. You could’ve probably walked. When arriving you parked on the street out front of their house, making way to the front door. You knocked softly, hearing some yelling behind the door - a girl who looked close in age to you answered the door.

“Hi, I’m Y/N. Is Josh here? I’m here to work on a school project with him.” You spoke offering a small smile.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Veronica but I go by Ronnie. I’m his younger and only sister, he is actually finishing up practice with the guys. You can come in.” She motioned for you to come in.

“If you want, we can go out to the garage. That’s where they practice.”

You smiled, “Sure, why not.”

Ronnie nodded and took you out with her to the garage. As you walked in the guys were in the midst of a song, Josh was singing, Jake was playing guitar and there were two other boys. One looked similar to Jake, assuming it was another sibling of theirs. He was playing bass, and the other was playing drums. Ronnie and you had sat on the couch in front of them.

They sounded really good, for being so young. Josh had finally noticed you as a blush crept on his cheeks, he averted towards Jake as they finished up the song, and concluded their practice.

“That was better than the last run. We’ll resume back to this tomorrow.” Jake directed to them, “Sam, we got to tune that better. And Danny, we’ll have to try and rig the snare.”

They all nodded, making way to head into the house.

“I didn’t expect you to come out here.” Josh had chuckled softly.

“Ronnie asked if I wanted to. And figured why not.” You smiled softly, “So how many of you are there?” You whispered to him - in hopes that his siblings wouldn’t hear.

“There are four of us. Jake and I are the oldest, Ronnie is the middle and Sam is the youngest. And Danny, he's Sam’s best friend. But we consider him a brother, he’s been around for so long.” He smiled, a dimple peeking out.

“Dinner is probably ready, we should head in before my mother starts calling.” He chuckled softly, you followed behind him into the house. He led you to the dining room, it was big enough for everyone that was present. Once you stepped foot in, all eyes were on the two of you.

“Mom and Dad this is Y/N. She is new to our school, and my partner for our class project. But also a new friend.” He smiled at you.

“Oh it’s nice to meet you dear! It’s always great to meet one of Josh’s friends.” She beamed with excitement, “Please sit anywhere you’d like. I made grilled cheese and a family recipe of tomato soup.”

She motioned for you to sit. Josh pulled a chair out for you, that was next to Jake, and you sat down as Josh sat in the seat next to you.

➳

Everyone had eaten, and once your bellies were full to content. You and Josh had decided to head to his and Jake’s shared room to work on the project. Both sides were different from one another, Josh having anything film related where Jake had music related posters.

“Jake and I are forced to share a room, while Ronnie and Sam get the luxury of having their own rooms.” He chuckled softly motioning for you to sit on his bed as he sat on a chair from his desk.

“It’s okay, my sister and I were forced to share a room when we lived in Oregon.” You giggled softly remembering the tiny two bedroom house your parents had gotten when your father was stationed on a mission again.

“Oregon? How did you end up all the way here?” Josh chuckled softly.

“My dad was in the military. We moved around quite a lot.” You responded nonchalantly.

“Oh wow. So you’re settled here in Frankenmuth, Michigan?”

“It's a cute town.” You giggled softly.

“We’re really known for Christmas. Whole town goes overboard with all of it, really. But it is nice. I do enjoy Christmas here.” He rubbed his hands together.

“So where are you originally from?” He questioned you.

“Florida.” You said flatly.

Honestly, you didn’t miss it - especially given the fact you had lived close to Orlando for quite some time, you hated the tourists all year round for the 9 years you lived there.

“Sunshine state… Hm. I think I’ll nickname you Sunshine. How does that sound?” He chuckled softly, a blush crept on your face.

“Sure…”

“Now, what role are you trying for Mr.Kiszka?” You impersonated Mr.Kiwalski’s voice. Earning a chuckle from Josh he shook his towards you.

“Don’t laugh.” He chuckled, “But I’m going for Wonka.”

You smiled at him softly, “I think you’ll fit perfectly…you have the characteristics for it.” You giggled softly.

“And how about you?”

“Veruka.” You giggled, sitting up straight.

“Well I guess we’ll just wait and see.”

December 2013

Ever since that poetry class, you and Josh had been inseparable. You finished your project earning an easy A on it. And then got the roles you had both wanted for the Willy Wonka play. Josh had been working on a film script for the last couple weeks, having you help assist him with it.

“You know you are quite the genius Sunshine.” Josh smiled at you, you smiled back. “I’m just doing what I can! I told you I’ll help film, and help with costumes as well.”

You finished writing in your journal with all of the plans for Josh’s film that was coming up early next month.

“Do you think it’s silly?” He scratched the back of his head.

“No, not at all. I think it’s going to be brilliant. You have a very creative mind Josh. You need to stop doubting yourself.” You replied, shaking your head to give more reinforcement to your words.

“It’s just I care a lot about film, and this band stuff with Jake sometimes can be a lot…” He sighed, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Josh… Jake has told you that he would help in any way.” You sat next to him.

“Yeah, but this is his dream… He’s always wanted to be a rockstar. And I want that for him. Me, I'm just a silly old film guy.” He chuckled as you nudged him softly.

“Aaand he would want the same for you. Don’t beat yourself up. This film is going to be amazing. Now come on, we have a Christmas party to attend.” You stood up, putting your hand out for him to join.

Once he took your hand in his, it felt like electricity had gone through you. During the short time you’ve known Josh. You’ve grown to like him more than just a friend…

He stood up from his bed, dropping your hand from his slowly.

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks Y/N…” He smiled softly.

“Of course Josh, that’s what friends are for.” You smiled mentally slapping yourself. You wish you could tell him how you felt. But you also didn’t want to freak him out.

The two of you made way to the basement where the party was being held, Jake smiled and walked over to you giving you a tight hug. With how close you got to Josh, you got close to his twin as well.

“About time you two showed up. Was starting to think you were sucking face.”

Josh gave him a glare as his cheeks turned to a crimson. You blushed, staring at your feet. “No, we were just working on the last touches of the film Jacob.”

“Sorry…” He gave Josh an apologetic look, they had some sort of twin telepathy way of communicating. You just went with the flow of it all. Josh ventured off to some other film friends that you would eventually join.

“Hey I really didn’t mean to embarrass you guys…” Jake had spoken to you quietly.

“It’s okay Jake, really…” You fiddled with your hands.

“No, no it's not… Has Josh said anything to you lately?” You gave him a questioning look.

“Said what?” You grabbed a can of pop.

“Forget it…” Jake went to turn, you grabbed his arm.

“Jacob.”

“You can’t say anything.” Jake mumbled as he turned to face you.

You gave him a look, “Cross my heart and hope to die.” You giggled doing the little promise. He pulled you aside.

“Josh really likes you… But he’s just too afraid to admit it.” He said quietly to you, only audible for you to understand. You felt butterflies in your stomach.

“R-really…” You looked up at him.

“Yeah. Why do you think he’s been up your ass so much lately.” He chuckled softly, “But you didn’t hear this from me.” He gave you a stern look.

“Jake, I won’t say a word. Besides… He hasn’t even made a move…” You looked over at Josh watching him talk with your other friends.

“Give it time… He doesn’t really know how to go about these things. He might need a little push, but. He’ll do it.” He patted your back softly.

“Thanks Jake…” You smiled and walked over to your friends and talked about the plans for the new year.

January 2014

“Josh, how the hell did you book a hotel room for the weekend for this film? Don’t we have to be at least 21 to book?” You shot a glare as you settled your bags into the room.

“Sunny, you underestimate my skills… Have I taught you nothing.” He sighs, acting like he’s been hurt. “Okay. Maybe I did, but just a tiny bit.”

You giggled softly setting up your equipment - while Jake came into the room with the rest of their friends.

“Okay, so I totally did not cause a scene in the lobby…” He said nervously.

“Jacob, I swear if we get kicked out of this damn hotel before we even shoot anything. I’m kicking your ass.”

“Some idiot tried fucking with our equipment, what else was I suppose to do.” He defended himself, causing the two of them to bicker.

“Alright! It just better not result in anything bad…”

The remainder of the evening you had set the room up for the liking of how you were filming this short film that Josh had in mind. Jake was one of the main roles, along with their friend Grace. Filming was going great, you had everything pretty much under control so Josh could focus on filming and getting the right angles while you adjusted lighting, make up and props.

After a couple hours of shooting Josh figured it was time to call it a night. You had helped clean up the room while Jake and Grace had finished up their last shots, and proceeded to help clean as well. Josh had already started editing the clips from tonight, and said that we would pick it back up tomorrow.

The twins ended up sharing a bed, while you and Grace had shared the other. It's not like you and Josh haven’t slept by one another before. You had passed out on the pull out sofa bed in their basement a few times when you’d stay over late working on a project. But Jake didn’t want to make Grace uncomfortable.

➳

The next day filming had picked up, but Jake was in a mood as he was tired of filming the same scene for the past hour.

“Well Jacob if you’d actually put effort into it. We wouldn’t have to keep shooting this take!” Josh threw his hands up in frustration.

“How about we take a lunch break!” You suggested taking your headphones off.

“Yeah, that’s a great idea.” Jake huffed grabbing his things, “You want to hit that Sub shop Grace?”

She nodded in agreement following Jake, leaving you and Josh to yourselves. Josh had put some things away grabbing a microwave.

“Joshua, what are you doing with the damn microwave?” You crossed your arms staring at him.

“I want to make stir fry. And I’m not trying to burn the room down, so to the hallway we go!” He made his way to the door, but he could open it considering his hands were full. So you opened the door, following behind him with your camera and other supplies.

Deciding to sprint to be in front of him, you took a picture of him with the microwave. “You’re something else Kiszka.” You giggled, getting to the end of the hallway. He plugged the microwave into the outlet, preparing the meal he had planned.

“Is this even going to be any good?” You gave him a concerning look.

“You have to live on the edge, a little mama.” He chuckled, mixing it together and placing it into the microwave, turning it on and setting it to whatever time and power he had it set as.

“Sir, what are you doing?” One of the maids had questioned him.

“Just making a five star meal. Care for some?” He smiled.

“You can’t do that out here. Why is it even out of the room?” She had questioned him, with her arms crossed.

“What do you mean? It was already out here.” He played a great character.

“Sir, I can assure you that is the room microwave you need to put it back in its rightful place. Or I will have to report you to the hotel staff.” She huffed watching him.

“It’s almost done cooking. It’ll be out of the way shortly.” Josh replied, smirking.

“I suggest you take it back now.” She then started to walk away to clean a room. Josh sat there letting it continue to cook.

“Josh, she seemed pretty serious.” You looked at him with worry.

“Sunshine, you need to liven it up!” He chuckled softly, as the microwave went off he unplugged it and walked back to the room with it.

“You Kiszka’s sure have a way…” You giggled softly, sitting on the bed.

“I can’t tell if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing.” He chuckled softly sitting beside you with his plate, taking a bite he spit it out quickly. “Oh that is mortifying.” He made a gagging face.

“Not so bright Joshy…” You giggled softly.

“Come on, let’s go get some real stir fry.” You patted his back, he nodded, throwing out his creation.

➳

The two of you found a local Japanese restaurant not too far from the hotel. Taking in on dining there, you let Jake and Grace know where the two of you went in case they came back earlier than you two.

“So, the Valentine’s dance is coming up.” Josh had said nervously.

“Yeah, have you asked any special girl?” You smiled softly, taking a sip of your water.

“No, not yet…” He put his head down, like he was ashamed.

“It’s okay Josh, you don’t have to show up with a date. You can just go with friends.” You smiled softly at him.

“Uh actually. Y/N, I was wondering if maybe you would be my date for the Valentine’s dance.” He looked up at you nervously with flushed cheeks.

“You want me to be your date?” You smiled as your cheeks became a tinted pink.

He nodded, smiling softly, “Yeah. I’d really like it if you would?”

“Yeah, I’ll be your date…” You trailed off with a smile, giving him a small reassuring nod.

He smiled, chuckling softly, “I thought I was gonna walk out of here like a sore loser if you said no.”

“I would never say no to you Josh…”

February 2014

It was Friday, school was a complete drag the past week. They had a spirit week in honor of the Valentine’s dance tonight. Ever since Josh had asked you to be his date, the two of you had been inseparable. You had been working on the last touches of the short film you worked on together. It was nearing completion but Josh decided that the two of you should take this week off from editing, since the dance was taking up a majority of the time.

You had joined the student council prior to Christmas break, and helped the council decorate and plan the dance. It was senior year after all, you had to make some memories while living the last of your childhood. Josh knew how much it meant to you to partake in this, since you were never able to do much like this before.

You had been getting ready at home, finishing the last touches of your hair and makeup. You kept your makeup rather simple, not doing too much of a glam look, and your hair had some loose curls.

You went to your closet pulling your dress off from the hanger, it was an indigo dress that rested against your knees and had some slight rhinestone embellishments on the edges of the dress. You slipped it on looking at yourself in the mirror, content with your look you put your heels on and grabbed your small satchel heading downstairs.

Josh was at the bottom of the stairs waiting for you with your parents and sister.

“You look absolutely stunning.” Your mom beamed.

“You look amazing, sweetie.” Your dad chimed in, agreeing with your mother.

Your sister smiled, clapping her hands together. She opted on staying home instead of going to the dance tonight. She was in the same grade as Sam and Danny and you have tried multiple times to get her to hang out with them.

“You look beautiful, Sunshine.” Josh came in front of you holding a beautiful white rose assortment corsage, with a boutineer to go with it.

You smiled softly in response.

“You look dashing.”

Your mom smiled coming over to aid the two of you with putting his boutineer on. Then Josh slipped your corsage onto your wrist.

“Okay! In front of the fireplace, we have to get pictures of you two.” Your mom beamed, as your father ushered you into the living room. Josh and yourself stood in front of the fireplace, as he placed his hand on the small of your back you felt butterflies in your stomach placing your arm around his back. You both posed and smiled for the millions of pictures your mother insisted on taking. Then took a couple with your parents.

“Guys it's not even prom, it's just a regular dance!” You giggled softly after taking enough pictures.

“Yes you’re right dear, but it’s your senior year!” Your mom beamed at you.

“We should really get going, otherwise we’ll be late…” You looked at the time.

“Wouldn’t be the first time I’m late to a function!” Josh chuckled softly, you giggled in agreement.

“Yeah, but I think for once you should be on time.” You smirked and started to head to the door with him.

Before leaving your father gave Josh a whole spiel on his rules and when to have you home by. Typical dad move, but he just wanted to be in good hands.

“Dad, he’s a good guy. Besides I think Mrs.Kiszka would be on him if he didn’t abide by your rules.” You giggled softly as Josh nodded.

“Yeah, my mom would have my butt canned.”

The two of you then left your house, he opened the passenger side to his car letting you get in before he closed it getting to his side. Once you buckle your seatbelt he had gotten into the car buckling himself in the driving over.

After arriving, Josh had parked next to Jake’s car. Jake had gotten out and let his date out of the passenger side. He had asked Valerie to be his date, she was more than thrilled when he had asked her. Valerie was this sweet junior who was a part of the cheerleading squad and Jake was absolutely crushing on her.

“You guys look amazing!” You smiled at them, hugging Jake and then Val.

“You guys look great too!” Jake beamed.

“Well we should head in, it’s freezing out here.” Josh had motioned for everyone to make their way, as he kept his hand on the small of your back.

Once you entered the high school gymnasium there was a photo station off to the left, then a table for water and punch.

“Do you want some punch?” Josh looked over at you.

“Yeah, I’d like some.” You smiled.

“Grab a table and I’ll meet you there.” He wandered off to the refreshment table as you made way to a small table in the corner. Jake and Val had already ventured to the dance floor, making the most of their night.

Josh had returned with two cups of punch, setting yours down in front of you on the table, he smiled softly at you.

“My lady.” He chuckled softly, sliding into the chair beside you.

“Well thank you kind sir.” You giggled softly, taking a sip of the punch.

“You guys did really well with planning all of this.” He smiled, taking a sip of his punch.

“Thank you, I was nervous they weren’t going to like my ideas…” You slouched a bit - suddenly feeling a wave of nervousness hit you.

“Are you kidding! Sunny you are brilliant. Who wouldn’t like your ideas?” He smiled softly at you, you returned a smile as your cheeks flushed.

After conversing for a bit, the two of you decided to hit the dance floor joining Jake and Val. You guys had danced the night away, laughing and acting like complete idiots. But it’s all you ever wanted at this moment.

The DJ then turned things slow for a remainder of the evening starting off with All of Me by John Legend. Josh had you pulled you close to him, wrapping his arms around your waist and you wrapped your arms around his neck. Smiling softly at him, you giggled to yourself softly.

“What is it, Sunshine?” He chuckled softly, catching your giggle.

“Nothing…” You blushed, placing your head on his chest listening to his heartbeat as the two of you swayed.

“Your heart is beating rather fast Josh…”

You giggled and turned to look up at him, he then moved his one hand to caress your face.

“Y/N…”

You looked at his face, he licked his lips nervously.

“Yeah Josh…”

He studied your face, before zoning in closer he then pressed his soft plush lips against yours.

‘Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you’

You were taken by surprise, but immediately kissed him back softly letting your lips move in sync. Soaking in this moment together. After a moment the two of you pulled away, smiling while giggling at each other.

“God, I’ve wanted to do that for so long…” He shook his head, sighing softly.

“I think you should do it again.” You smiled brightly at him - he then captured your lips once more with his, giving a few little pecks before detaching his lips from yours.

“Y/N… I. Well, what I’m trying to ask.”

“Yes, Josh. I’ll be your girlfriend.” You giggled softly, rubbing his arm to soothe his nerves.

.

.

.

.

to be continued

Taglist -

@lyndszee @laneygvf @sacredthefran @starcatcherry @fkfearandliveyourlegend @hi-hi-hello11 @gretnavannfleet @themoreyou-love @gvfmuse @meetingthestardust @myleftsock

[venus-haze]

Writing Pattern Game

Thank you for tagging me @blindmagdalena 🖤 (I know you tagged me in this a while back!)

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns!

If you click through the links please look at the warnings because some of these are darkfics.

Bruised Fruit Chapter 6

Michael stared at the wall in his office, illuminated in soft yellow light by the singular lamp he’d turned on when he stumbled inside, dealing with one of his regular bouts of insomnia after tossing and turning for the better part of an hour. 

You Can't Start a Fire Without a Spark

You weren’t sure how six of you managed to squeeze into a booth together in the Bavarian bar, elbow-to-elbow as you drank beer and shouted over each other.

Celebrity Skin

Hollywood was never going to see you again.

Watch Honey Drip, Can't Keep Away

“Which city are we going to next?” you asked, finally comfortable in the swanky hotel room in Chicago you were roomed in with three other girls from the troupe.

Eat Your Heart Out

The first time he saw you, he didn’t think much of it.

You're My Best Friend

When Vought hired you to create their long-awaited Homelander origin comic series, you were thrilled—until they gave you so little information about his childhood to work with, you weren’t even sure you could come up with one comic, let alone the ten they requested. 

Night Shift

Hour nine of driving.

Open All Night

Death announced its arrival with a holler. 

Under My Skin

The piece of paper on the table in front of you was mocking you.

Rip This Place Apart

A man kept appearing in your dreams, and he wouldn’t go away.

I don't see much of a consistent pattern in the first sentences of my fics! I mean, I'm definitely a comma queen, but besides that, it's just whatever fits the overall tone of the rest of the piece.

No pressure tags: @shoshiwrites @mercurygray @mads-nixon @softguarnere @cherubgore @sehtoast @hxad-ovxr-hxart @malarkgirlypop @visceravalentines @raccoonspooky @crash-and-cure @zepskies and whoever else wants to do this! (Please make a new post, don't reblog)

[hollybee8917]

Sleep, Baby Boy

Characters: Winifred Barnes, George Barnes, Rebecca Barnes, Steve Rogers

Plot: The Barnes family is told about the loss of Bucky.

Warnings: Mentions of death, loss of a loved one, loss of a child

Note: This is slightly different as Steve survives the war.

Winifred Barnes stood in the kitchen, washing dishes when a knock at the front door broke her attention. The woman shook the water of her hands as the knock came again louder. She called out, “I’m coming. I’m coming!”

She opened the door to find her son’s best friend on the other side of the door. She smiled joyfully, “Steven! How wonderful to see you. Where is James? Is he out with a girl he met in Europe?”

The young man slowly raised his head tear tracks drying on his cheeks, “Ma Winnie.”

Her heart dropped and she stuttered, “S-Steven? Where’s my James?”

“I-I’m so sorry. I need to give you this.” Steve held up his hand, “I-I”

“No. Don’t say it. Please don’t say it.”

Steve stepped forward and wrapped his hands around her arms, “He died in the Alps. He-he was—”

“No. NO! NO!” Winifred began to wail. This caused Rebecca to come flouncing down the stairs. She stopped at the sight of Steve embracing her sobbing mother, “STEVE! You’re home! Where’s Bucky!”

The scene before her began to sink in. Rebecca pushed herself against the wall, “Where’s my brother? Steve, where’s my brother?!”

Steve’s voice broke, “He’s gone, Becky. He’s gone. I have the letter from the Army here.”

Bucky’s sister snapped the envelope out of Steve’s hand and ripped it open. Before she could read it, the letter was removed from her hands by her father, George. He rubbed his wife’s back before reading aloud.

“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Barnes,

We regret to report that Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th Infantry Regiment, Howling Commandos, was killed in action on the 7th of April 1945 in the Bavarian Alps. We are sorry for your loss and appreciate the sacrifice your son gave in service of his country.

Sincerely,

General Chester Phillips of the United States Army”

George stumbled back, “My son… My son…”

He raised his eyes to Steve, “You were there?”

Steve merely nodded. Barnes continued, “You couldn’t save him.”

It wasn’t a question. From the stairs, Rebecca Barnes let out a low moan, “Bucky…”

Winnie pulled away and looked up at Steve, “You tried. I know you tried. Please tell me. Was it swift? Did he suffer?”

Steve gulped, “No. He didn’t suffer. I better go. I just wanted to deliver the letter and this flag.”

He stepped back toward the door, “I’m really sorry. I truly am. I tried to save him; believe me I did.”

George nodded, “We know you did. Please, don’t..” His voice broke, “Don’t go yet. Stay. Eat with us. Stay with us and join us in telling him goodbye.”

Winnie clutched the flag and sat down on the couch, “Sleep baby boy. Sleep. Ima is here and I know you are watching over me.”

Winifred Barnes began to weep and wail again as her family gathered around her, embracing and crying, mourning for the one they lost.

George whispered, “I suppose I should put up the black ribbon on the door.”

This caused all three to cry harder.

All Steve Rogers could do was watch.

@joannaliceevans-fanficblog @buckysteveloki-me @patzammit @saiyanprincessswanie

[josefavomjaaga]

I have already quoted some anecdotes from the Souvenirs militaires by Hippolyte d'Espinchal here and here. And I thought I had also already translated his meeting with Bavarian king Max Joseph, but I seem unable to find it again, so maybe I had not? In any case, it's probably mostly of interest for myself, so please ignore if it's a duplicate.

For context: Hippolyte d'Espinchal was a former French émigré; his father had been a close friend of Max Joseph's before the Revolution, and his mother during her exile had fled to and spent some time in Munich. Hippolyte at some point had returned home and taken up service under Napoleon; at Wagram, he had served as a hussar under famous general Montbrun. In spring of 1810, he accompanied Montbrun to France, and that journey led them through Bavaria. Montbrun decided to go to Munich and to pay his respects to the king, and he took d'Espinchal with him.

We were ushered into his chambers and found him alone. His reception was kind and entirely informal. After expressing his admiration for General Montbrun's brilliant conduct in this last campaign, His Majesty deigned to speak to me about my father and the attachment he still held for him, an attachment whose proof was unequivocal, since it was to this feeling that I owed the honour of being decorated with his military order. He enquired with the greatest interest about my brother and his injuries. "Sire," I told him, "my heart is as grateful as it was nine years ago, and the memory of the kindness with which Your Majesty showered my mother in her exile and misery will never fade from my heart."

As he explains in his memoirs, Max Joseph - then Elector of Bavaria - had provided a house for Madame d'Espinchal during her exile in Munich and had constantly looked out for her; on her departure home to France he visited with many members of his court, a huge honour for d'Espinchal's mum.

The king gave me a pat on the cheek with a fatherly smile and turned to the general. "I hope," he said, "that you will stay for at least two days and that my table will be yours", then making a sign to me which showed that he included me in this invitation, he added, "Let's start by lunching in private", and we moved towards a room where the table was already prepared; but how surprised was the general, when he unfolded his napkin, to find there the plaque and the grand cordon of the military order of Bavaria.

And I can just see Max sneaking around that table, personally hiding those decorations in the napkin.

It was impossible to see more kindness and simplicity in the manners of this excellent prince, combined with a great deal of roundness and cheerfulness of spirit; he liked especially to recall the time when he was in France as a colonel (under the reign of Louis XVI), then Prince Max des Deux-Ponts, and always staying with my father when he came to Paris. "If anyone had told me, when I was a colonel, that I would one day become sovereign, I would have been very surprised," he added. He professed boundless devotion to the Emperor; he was also particularly fond of Prince Eugène, his son-in-law, who made his daughter so happy, and retained feelings for his old friends from before the Revolution that have never wavered.

"who made his daughter so happy" - sorry, but that is so Max

Considering how very little such things usually counted in royal marriages - after all, Austrian emperor Francis had just sold married off his daughter to a man whom this daughter had learned to fear and despise ever since her childhood - this remark seems like more evidence that Max Joseph was not much suited to be a monarch. And I mean that as a compliment.

On leaving the table, the king sent for a chamberlain (the Count of Vichy, a French émigré), recommending that he show us around his beautiful residence: "Above all," he said, "don't forget the art gallery". There, I had reason to feel a sense of pride and self-love that explained the king's delicate recommendation. I saw the full-length portrait of my great-grandfather, Gaspard d'Espinchal, Generalissimo of the Bavarian armies [...].

... who apparently had a horrible reputation as a general, but that's beside the point. Family is family.

[catenaaurea]

The Spiritual Testament of Pope Benedict XVI, written on August 29, 2006 to be published after his passing:

If in this late hour of my life I look back at the decades I have been through, first I see how many reasons I have to give thanks. First and foremost I thank God himself, the giver of every good gift, who gave me life and guided me through various confusing times; always picking me up whenever I began to slip and always giving me again the light of his face. In retrospect I see and understand that even the dark and tiring stretches of this journey were for my salvation and that it was in them that He guided me well.

I thank my parents, who gave me life in a difficult time and who, at the cost of great sacrifice, with their love prepared for me a magnificent abode that, like clear light, illuminates all my days to this day. My father’s lucid faith taught us children to believe, and as a signpost it has always been steadfast in the midst of all my scientific acquisitions; the profound devotion and great goodness of my mother represent a legacy for which I can never give thanks enough. My sister has assisted me for decades selflessly and with affectionate care; my brother, with the lucidity of his judgments, his vigorous resolve and serenity of heart, has always paved the way for me; without this constant preceding and accompanying me I could not have found the right path.

From my heart I thank God for the many friends, men and women, whom He has always placed at my side; for the collaborators in all the stages of my journey; for the teachers and students He has given me. I gratefully entrust them all to His goodness. And I want to thank the Lord for my beautiful homeland in the foothills of the Bavarian Alps, in which I have always seen the splendor of the Creator Himself shining through. I thank the people of my homeland because in them I have been able again and again to experience the beauty of faith. I pray that our land remains a land of faith, and I beg you, dear countrymen: Do not let yourselves be turned away from the faith. And finally I thank God for all the beauty I have been able to experience at all the phases of my journey, especially, however, in Rome and in Italy, which has become my second homeland.

To all those whom I have wronged in any way, I heartily ask for forgiveness.

What I said before to my countrymen, I now say to all those in the Church who have been entrusted to my service: Stand firm in the faith! Do not let yourselves be confused! It often seems that science — the natural sciences on the one hand and historical research (especially exegesis of Sacred Scripture) on the other — are able to offer irrefutable results at odds with the Catholic faith. I have experienced the transformations of the natural sciences since long ago and have been able to see how, on the contrary, apparent certainties against the faith have vanished, proving to be not science, but philosophical interpretations only apparently pertaining to science; just as, on the other hand, it is in dialogue with the natural sciences that faith, too, has learned to understand better the limit of the scope of its claims, and thus its specificity. It is now sixty years that I have been accompanying the journey of Theology, particularly of the Biblical Sciences, and with the succession of different generations I have seen theses that seemed unshakable collapse, proving to be mere hypotheses: the liberal generation (Harnack, Jülicher, etc.), the existentialist generation (Bultmann, etc.), the Marxist generation. I saw and see how out of the tangle of assumptions the reasonableness of faith emerged and emerges again. Jesus Christ is truly the way, the truth and the life — and the Church, with all its insufficiencies, is truly His body.

Finally, I humbly ask: Pray for me, so that the Lord, despite all my sins and insufficiencies, welcomes me into the eternal dwellings. To all those entrusted to me, day by day, my heartfelt prayer goes out.

(Source)

[jobroedchen-blog]

Thoughts on One Piece Live Action

UH I need to get this out of my system so I can work on my master thesis again and my friends weren't able to watch it at the moment, so I can not discuss anything with them jet y.y Beware of spoilers

I finished watching OPLA and I loved it. It made me laugh and I all my concerns washed away. Sure they changed stuff but they made it so good and it integrates wonderfully into the live-action pacing and world building. When I first heard about the live-action show I was concerned like everyone, but with more information dropped, the more exited I felt and knowing that Oda-Sensei was so heavily involved and had to give the OK, I was relieved.

So I watched the show in German (first language) and the voice actors form the Anime fit so perfectly with the actors. (If I have time I will watch it in English) There are no dialects in German dubbing or its very rare, but it would be funny to hear some in the background. (Somewhere in my head I want a Bavarian Garp and a Berlin Shanks) But even translated the jokes and emotional scenes were on point.

And holy this series is so ambiguous (is this the right word for "zweideutig" = you see one thing but has an underlying 2nd meaning) Like in the 2nd episode Makino comes from the other room with two drinks and a few moments later Shanks tumbles from that same room. Or Usopp's "does she like me, would you like me if you were her" scene and the scene were Zoro vowed to Luffy to stay by his side (they don't know but they are married now) Sanji is the walking zweideutig.

The acting is great, they gave some characters more seriousness. Like in the original Zoro in the East Blue was laughing more and Shanks was also a little bit more goofy-ish. They gave Makino a bit more of a badass vibes and Garp is not falling a sleep randomly. It works great but I would like more Zoro smiles.

The Corby, Helmeppo, Garp side story feels like a discussion a friend and I had. Like why did Garp do nothing about Arlong or Buggy or corrupted Navy members. Was he always on vacation when he visited Luffy and ignored the rest? Didn't he notice anything? And know in the Series it feels like a very good fan fiction taking on the problem and making Garp very protective of his grandson, chasing him around the East Blue and discovering all the shitty stuff that is happening around. And everybody who is like "Luffy is a heartless evil mastermind" signals Garp that they are the evil in the story. So Garp is kinda proud of his grandson, it's like Luffy is going the right path on the wrong way in his eyes. And they gave us more of Bogart. Usopp's Story to happen in the Mansion is also a great compromise. It also has a horror movie vibe. But Black and his subordinates for me don't really feel like cats or cat-ish they come of more like vampires, does anyone else got these vibes from them? And I thing more characters with severe injuries will die in the live action.

The only thing i don't really like is Arlong. I don't know what it is because I don't have a problem with his younger self in the flashback. Only his older self give me the something is off or doesn't fit right vibes. AAAND at last Buggy, he gives me nightmares. The Circus with chained innocent people who are forced to applause and laugh, god this is horror movie stuff. Buggy was in the original a feared and powerful enemy but he lost his seriousness a lot faster. In the series even as a head he gives me chills. It's not bad, the acting is great I just hate clowns.

I hope we get more and I hope they don't fuck the rest up. Wonderful day you all.

[karysartist]

The Volkovs (I)

Emily’s sightseeing expedition through Avalon included a trip to some of the notable local historical landmarks and the remains of an ancient Celtic settlement - one of many dotting the area surrounding our new home.

‘This town has a lot of history,’ Emily told me as we trudged past a pair of standing stones. They stood facing one another on either side of the road running to the left of us. 

‘I’ve been reading up about it at the library. It's quite the rabbit hole to dive into.’ 

I could tell from her look that she was hoping I’d ask her for details. 

‘So what did you find out?’ I asked. 

Emily proceeded to launch into a lengthy explanation about the Bavarians who lived in the area during the Middle Ages who had laid the foundations of the current town. 

‘But the history here goes back way before then, to the middle and late iron ages. That was like 900 - 550 BC. During this period the Celts lived here. They were an offshoot of the Hallstatt Celts; some of the oldest tribes of Celtic peoples. They were the first groups to migrate and build a settlement here. These stone ruins you see around the edges of town belonged to them.’ 

‘One of the most fascinating things the Celts left behind were their myths and legends. Stories like the Tale of the Cursed Brothers. If you didn’t know, it's a local folktale children here are told to scare them. Apparently. I learned about it from a librarian I spoke to yesterday.’ 

It was this tale she told me of next, at my request. I had a feeling she was going to explain it anyway; that or one of the other myths she’d read about. 

Happily, Emily gave me a rundown of the legend as we meandered past a series of hollow stone cylinders which dotted the grassy plains; disorganized sentries which followed the line of encroaching trees. 

I gazed out into the faded, gloomy depths of the forest as I listened to her story. 

This is how she told it: 

‘A council of powerful druids and tribal chiefs ruled the community of Celts. Unfortunately, they were very cruel and selfish. They brought the tribe into many unnecessary conflicts, leading them on an endless path of bloodshed. They treated the women and children in the town to horrific abuses. And they punished mercilessly anyone who tried to stand up to them. 

The group of Celts settled in the area around Avalon to brave the coming winter.

Enter the two protagonists of this Legend. One day soon after the tribe's arrival two young warriors named Issaut and Imurela went out hunting together, searching for food and medicine for Issaut’s family. For hours they looked and looked up and down the forest but found nothing useful. 

Imurela (who was a well versed healer) finally spotted an abundance of useful herbs growing within a beautiful clearing. 

As they neared the clearing a bear crawled out from the shadows of a tree nearby. The bear was huge, hulking and territorial. The hunters kept going anyway. They would willingly kill it and take its meat back to feed the tribe if they could. 

So, they confronted and fought the bear.

The battle was brutal. Imurela nearly lost an arm defending Issaut, and in return Issaut fought off grievous wounds to fell the beast and end the miserable fight.

The entity which silently observed them during their fight was impressed by their bravery. Afterward it approached them in the form of a tall and proud, golden haired man. 

The ‘friend,’ as he called himself was there to make them an offer. He offered them an end to the years of hunger and misfortune. A way for them to forge a new path for their tribe. 

The brothers thought he was a madman. Then he gave them a demonstration of his powers. He healed both of the two brother’s wounds with no more than a flick of his hand, leaving them invigorated and strong like they’d never felt before. 

The man offered them a deal. In exchange for the boons he could provide them with, they would pledge the allegiance of themselves and all their descendants to the man, worshiping him forevermore as their god. 

The two brothers were suspicious and already suspected the man’s true nature. However he informed them, ‘I foresee years of tyranny for your tribe - never ending tyranny which will lead to your tribe's eventual destruction. You can allow that, if it is your wish. Or you can take the lesser of two evils - a bargain with me, and forge a new future for yourselves and your loved ones. Make a sacrifice yourselves so the ones you care about most may have a future.’ 

The demon elected to give them a month to make up their minds. On the eve of the next full moon the brothers came back to him and they formed a fateful pact. Issaut and Imurela pledged their souls and those of their future children in exchange for the power they needed to take the tribe for themselves. 

Having completed their bargain with him, the brothers returned to the settlement to challenge the tribal druids and their warriors. 

No one thought they stood a chance that night. The elders ordered the brothers restrained and imprisoned. But the two men fought back. They each had superhuman strength, speed, and skill with their spears. Imurela could predict the attacks of the people he fought against and Issaut could disappear and reappear at will effortlessly.

Not only that, they seemed practically invincible in battle. They were immune to pain and tireless. They challenged and fought sixteen of the tribe’s strongest warriors, groups of them at a time. The two brothers would not be felled. When no more warriors would face them they confronted the elders and made them pay for their sins. 

With the elders dead, the remaining warriors bent their knees in submission. 

It was simple for the two to proclaim themselves leaders once the fight was over. In fact, it was practically done for them by their people. The tribe was theirs now.

The others in the tribe would from that day forward believe the pair were blessed by the gods. It was a lie the brothers allowed them to think.  

From that day on there they ruled the tribe fairly and justly, as best as they were able. Issaut’s family recovered in a couple weeks. The tribe flourished and grew, supported by trading with Roman and later Bavarian and Slavic peoples. The brothers were blessed with an unnaturally long life and they hardly aged at all over the next decades, which further solidified their deity-like status among their people. They became local legends. 

Issaut was a warrior, and Imurela became a druid. They worked and thought differently. This was their strength, but in time it also became their greatest weakness. 

Over those years Issaut and Imurela had plenty of disagreements. They saw different visions for the tribe’s future: Imurela wanted them to form alliances with other nearby tribes, while Isaut thought they should conquer or subjugate any not under their rule. The disagreement over the principles of ruling created a rift between them. 

Imurela in particular grew increasingly discontented. He eventually became convinced his brother would lead the people of the tribe to their downfall with the choices he was making for its future. 

Imurela summoned the demon again in private and expressed these feelings. The demon claimed that he could take his brother's power for himself - if he could win against him in a fair fight. 

Imurela, though a great warrior, had never been a match for Issaut in combat. Because he knew he would lose a duel between them, he decided on a different approach. 

Imurela lured Issaut out into the woods and stabbed him in the back with a dagger coated with a specially crafted poison. But Issaut fought back. He took the dagger from Imurela and cut him with it. Following their fast and brutal altercation, they both died from the poison coursing through their veins and their fate was sealed.

The demon was furious at the outcome and decided they had both failed him. It cursed their spirits to become twisted deities of the woods, separate urban legends each in their own right. Issaut, the Faceless One, and Inurela the Deceiver.  They’ve been wandering the woods as haunted spirits ever since -’ 

‘Hey, what the -’

A woman had grabbed Emily’s arm. She was haggard and old. I was close enough to Emily to smell her overpowering perfume and sweat. She held Emily’s arm in a vice-like grip. 

Emily attempted to pull her arm away. The woman was stronger than she looked, but she let go as fast as she’d grabbed her and took a couple steps back. 

‘Do not speak of them,’ she hissed. ‘It brings bad luck - and perhaps worse things.’ 

Emily frowned at her. ‘Is-’ 

The old woman pressed a finger to my sister's lips to shush her. ‘Do not even speak of their names, child! Please!’ 

Emily apologized and the woman did too, appearing a little embarrassed with herself. We both went off on our own way. It was one of the first indications I would have that the people of Avalon were a bit of a superstitious lot. 

There was also the limping homeless guy with haunted eyes I met the first time I visited the town weeks earlier. He kept insisting that the town was cursed and screamed some nonsensical curses when I didn’t react to his words. 

Avalon was an eerie place, in its own unique way. 

‘I could discuss the history Celtic peoples here for hours,’ Emily declared once we’d put some distance between ourselves and the old woman. ‘They’re such a fascinating culture; so mysterious, complex and so many other things!’ 

She must have noticed I looked preoccupied because she switched her attention over to me. 

‘How are you feeling about things, anyway? Do you like the town?’ She asked hopefully.

‘No.’ I said. ‘What’s there to like?’ 

‘Oh come on, it’s beautiful,’ Emily cried, gesturing around her at the slopes and steep hills of deep green rising up past the town. 

‘I hoped it would be a little warmer,’ I mumbled. ‘Why is it always so cold around here?’ 

Emily rubbed her shoulders in acknowledgement. ‘It’ll be better in the summer’, she said. 

‘It’ll be worse during winter,’ I’d countered, and Emily pouted. 

After we finished touring the local ruins, Emily made me take another trip through town with her. She drove me through streets filled with colorful and majestic houses, some of which were built against the steep foothills of nearby mountains. Emily wanted to show me around town, sharing with me the best restaurants, bakeries and cafes. She took me to the big library, the busy Italian Plaza, and then the medieval church. She was near desperate to prove how nice the town was. 

‘It’ll be better here,’ she said, nudging me by the arm. ‘It will. We’ve both got an opportunity for a fresh start.’ 

She must have noticed I wasn’t really listening to her. ‘What are you thinking?’ She asked. 

‘About our father,’ I told her. ‘I miss him.’  

‘I miss them both,’ she murmured. ‘Mom and dad.’ I felt her wrap an arm around my shoulders and tug me closer. 

‘Come on Tristrian. Give this place a chance. Please?’ 

After a moment I relented. ‘I’ll be fine. You should focus on yourself. On your degree. Getting accepted into Samara University was a big deal!’ 

Emily smiled at me slightly. ‘I will. But I want to see you do the same thing. You have to try to get a fresh start here.’ 

I nodded. I tried to put some resolve in my voice as I affirmed my commitment to making something better of my life. 

I have no idea if Emily bought my act. I felt like acting like I cared was all I could manage at the moment. I wasn’t quite ready to let myself feel emotions properly again. 

After a couple of hours of touring and a light lunch at Emily’s new favorite cafe in town, I made an excuse about meeting my uncle back at home. She looked like she was about to protest, and I was relieved when she decided not to. 

She hugged me tight and ruffled my hair. 

‘Call me, okay? Regularly. Like once a week, at least,’ she said. ‘You know how much of a nightmare I’ll make life for you if you don't.’ 

‘Sure,’ I said, tiredly. ‘Of course.’ 

She continued to eye me for a long moment before returning to her car. 

Emily turned to look back at me before driving away. Her face was one of concern, her gaze filled with unspoken words. 

We were both pretending to be okay, I realized. Only Emily was much better at it than me.

I tried my best to smile. She smiled sadly back. 

[upside-down-uni]

storygraph september wrap up!

Hilma af Klint - Julia Voss 3.75⭐️

Extremely comprehensive and well researched expanded english tanslation of Julia Voss's biography on Hilma af Klint. I do wish she had included some reflection on or acknowledgements of the origins of af Klints spiritualism instead of just mentioning it "drawing from Hindu or Indian practices". But all in all it was a fascinating account of a very dedicated woman's life.

Sauhund - Lion Christ 3.75⭐️

A german book about a true charastrophe of a young gay man in 1970-80s Munich. It's somehow sad, heartwarming and funny all at once? A huge part of the enjoyment while reading came from the book being written in dialect. It's not super thick dialect but enough for color and since I grew up with a dialect similar to bavarian it felt like I was listening to someone from my birthplace tell me a story. The one flaw this book has for me is that the actual character growth montage moment is skipped in favor of showing the after which undermined a lot of the build up the previous 3/4 of the book spent so much time on. It still manages to end impactful though and was a weirdly satisfying and heartachey read.

The Chaos Walking Trilogy - Patrick Ness

The Knife of Never Letting Go 4.5⭐️

The Ask and the Answer 5⭐️

Monsters of Men 4.75⭐️

If you watched the movie with Tom Holland you should immediately forget it entirely because that movie is stupid and bad, does these magnificent books a huge disservice and go read The Knife of Never Letting Go instead!!! These books go crazy, I'm kicking my own ass about not picking them up earlier! A friend recommended them to me and they were SO RIGHT TO!!! First of all, Todd and Viola have such a totally normal relationship with each other, I ate it all up. Their relationship is the center of the books for a reason. And then the books pull absolutely zero punches about privacy, masculinity and war! I was biting my nails and yelling at my friend via text the entire time, I felt So Many Emotions!!

Sprache und Sein - Kübra Gümüşay 5⭐️

Quick read on the relationship between language and the society we are building with the way we talk and how we treat it. Compassionate.

Moths: A Natural History of Our Planet's Moth Life - Rachel Warren Chadd, Andrei Sourakov 5⭐️

MOTHS! I love them! This book was an amazing introduction and overview over moth lives, their territories and their biology! So many great pictures and really accessible to non-natural-science people as well!

Das Gewicht des Ganzen - Sven Heuchert

A german nature writing book about grief. I was really happy to have finished it so quickly because despite being written stylistically well I simply did not understand what anyone gets from this type of book. This was just deeply not my genre or type of story. (Also the author made a weird focalization decision in my opinion by having main character A show up as 3rd person narrator but main character B got a 3rd person narration as WELL as a 1st person narration? Bewildering and no help for the story to be honest.)

The Disaster Tourist - Yun Ko-Eun 3⭐️

A short satirical novel about Ko Yona who is employee at a disaster travel agency, goes on a business trip to a sinkhole to evaluate the package the agency offers and uncovers a conspiracy. The set up dragged a bit for my tastes but the book made its point and even gave me that feeling of impending doom.

[redskysailor]

Guysssss I had the longest and best day everrr 😭 This got sooo long (sleep deprivation YAYYY) so it's under a cut now. Ye be warned

This morning my 10am lecture got out super early so I wandered around a bit and then went to office hours for my ecology prof and she helped me figure out my sources for my final paper, and then we yapped for like an hour :] She had me help her come up w curriculum ideas for her summer class and then we talked about the best japanese restaurants around town and also she gave me a recommendation for a good thai place.... then I went to a bio seminar about archaea in the nitrogen cycle which was REALLY interesting (& I'm not usually into microbio!!!! it was soooo good)

And THEN I was walkin across campus and I noticed a water oak which I needed a new sample of for ecology lab so I was cuttin myself some leafs and then I turned around saw one of my besties STARIN ME DOWN.... which was very funny bc just the other day I was tellin him about how I sometimes wonder what other people think when they see me stop in front of a tree and stare at its leaves for several minutes LOL he got to watch it firsthand...... and then I got to use the field guide he gave me last week to confirm it was the right tree and then we saw another friend and yapped and it was beautiful

And THENNNN I continued my journey to the music building where I met up with two of my friends and then we went to the gochey store to get stuff for the trans potluck I've been planning for the last few weeks.... It was cold in thar so I let one of my friends borrow my flannel #BUTCH WIN and I bought some lunch YIPPEE and then we went back to campus to set up for the potluck and I made signs and they turned out SO CUTE

And then we actually HAD the potluck and the turnout was really nice (20 people I think!) and I got a little emotional and we made a thank you card for the building director for letting us host it in the fine arts building cause he's the sweetest most supportive man ever WAUGH. The food was really good too and one of my friends took some of our leftovers to food not bombs downtown ^_^ <333

And then I went to a BASEBALL GAMEEEE with my school jazz band and it was so so fun and everything was SO overpriced but I got bavarian nuts and the friend who drove me there bought me dippin dots and I bought us both pins of the team mascot cause she collects pins on her work apron so now we're pin twinsss... and I got to joke around a bunch with two of the guys from the rhythm section who are both so cool and fun but I never get to hang out with so it was GREAT. And then we WON THE GAMEEEEEE and then my friend and I almost got horribly lost on the way home (wound up goin the wrong way on a one way street in the dark. Oopsie!) but we SURVIVED and we got to gossip a lil and I got to infodump about longleaf pines :]

And now I'm SO SO TIRED like physically to the point where I can barely walk #oops and will likely be bedridden tomorrow #whoops but it was WORTH IT because today was so beautiful and I love everyone in the world 😭 GOODNIGHT BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS AND HANDSOME STRANGERS MWAH

PS also I had the dykiest fit ever and I felt soo hot all day. I might post pics tomorrow if I can find any yaaaaay ok NOW goodnight MWAH

[fishwanderingforest]

Flirting makes no sense???

I was just at a party (Maibaumstüberl for my bavarians out there) and I was dancing with my friends and a girl/women seemed to want to talk to me, I made some space and she came up to me and went like

"YOUR HAIR IS REALLY BEAUTIFUL"

And I was like"THANK YOU!"

And then she went like

" WHAT KIND OF PRODUCTS DO U USE? "

and I actually do not use anything for my curls they are just like this without doing much but I didn't wanna give her no answer so I was like, okay I'm gonna give her the best brand I personally know and went like

"CANTU"

And then we talked really short real quick and she left and my friends were like

" YOU DID GIVE HER UR NUMBER RIGHT?"

and I was like? "NO?"

And then I was enlightened that that was flirting

Like apparently the body language gave it away , I just thought it was gays supporting girls or something (she did even have curls lmao it makes sense now)

And now I have realized if today's flirting is like this I'll end up alone because I just won't pick up on it

Anyway taking it as a big compliment because today is actually not a good hair day for me so-

[sirgiant-blog-blog]

Oh, what fun!

Have you ever received a photo from someone, maybe on your phone, and the first words you said were, "Oh, what fun!"

Or maybe that was your reaction to a friend telling you a story about a recent adventure.

Maybe it was a photo of someone you love who lives far away. Maybe it was a story of someone you love who is much older now.

Maybe it is about building a snowman, riding a water slide, or sharing a horse on a carousel.

I bet when you hear those stories you smile.

I bet you go to that place and time, if just for a moment, in your mind.

Those "remember the time" stories are precious. They bond you with those in your presence whether they are included in the memory or not.

I bet you laugh when you tell those stories. I bet you touch the other person on the shoulder. I bet you glow inside. I bet they do, too.

When Alex was little, and riding in the passenger seat of our car, I would frequently tell him stories from my past. I was so pleased one day when he asked me to tell him 'another one.'

It meant he was listening. It meant he was 'with me' in his mind as I recalled whatever shenanigans I had been involved in when I was a kid.

I was always going for the laugh. Always editing out any stories of sadness or complete stupidity (a LITTLE stupidity was okay).

As an adult, Alex invited me to come along with him on his trip to New York City in 2016. He was 30 and I was 61 years old. We had been to the city in the past but Alex was always a child. This was the first time I was with him in New York as two adults.

We walked a lot. And I talked a lot.

I gave him the "Dad" tour.

I showed him where my favorite arcade was in Times Square, I showed him where Grandma stood in line to see Frank Sinatra, I showed him Washington Square Park and told him how I wanted to be the next great songwriter like the ones who frequented that park before they were famous, I showed him where his Grandpa worked when he was with the NYPD, I showed him where we stood to watch the Macy's parade, I showed him where I begged Grandpa for a sardine sandwich at Horn & Hardart's and then cried because it was horrible (hey, they said it was fish! I thought they meant TUNA fish!), I told him about the Polar Bear at the Central Park Zoo, I told him about the subway tokens, the vendors who sold salty pretzels, dirty water hotdogs, and Italian ices.

And, yes, when we went to McDonald's I told him that it used to be a peep show and, here comes the cringe, yes I had been there.

I really thought I had been reminiscing too much. At one point I thought, "Oh gosh. I hope I haven't been boring Alex with my constant talking."

The relationship between parent and child is so different when the child is an adult. I no longer held his hand as we crossed the street and maybe he no longer enjoyed hearing my "remember when" stories.

Later that afternoon Alex and I were in our hotel room and he called his wife. I sat by the window watching the 8th Avenue traffic from our fourth floor window. Alex sat on his bed and chatted.

I wasn't eavesdropping. But I heard him say the words, "I couldn't have asked for a better tour guide than my Dad!"

Wow!

I think I teared up. It was a wonderful thing to hear.

All my talking and talking and talking, that I thought was becoming a bit too much, turned out to be the "father and son" moment you only see in the movies.

When I share that story now, it brings a smile, and that warm expression "oh, what fun!"

Robin and I visited Helen, Georgia, a couple of years ago. It was just the two of us and I have such fond memories of that experience.

It's a Bavarian town. Or, at least, it's designed to LOOK like a Bavarian town. Living in Florida it is easy to be dissuaded from doing anything "touristy." But that day, in Helen, I was embracing my "tourist" identity! We both were.

Neither of us had ever been there. So we were creating a brand new memory. A future "remember the time" that only the two of us would share.

We visited the souvenir shops with the tacky t-shirts, the gimmicky snow globes, the "home made" jellies, and the glossy post cards.

We went to a German restaurant and, even though I don't drink beer, I ordered a beer and a large salty pretzel.

And, even though I grew up in New York and had seen those horse drawn carriages (often called the Hansom Cabs), I had never been in one.

But, there, in Helen, Georgia, I noticed a little sign in the window of one of the shops that read, "See Helen from a horse drawn carriage. Half-hour rides only $35."

The resulting ride was magical. It was everything you would hope for. Robin even got to feed a carrot to the horse when we were finished.

I took a video during our ride and there is more than one time in that video when you can hear Robin saying, "Oh, what fun!"

We are so familiar with the song, "Jingle Bells," that we often don't realize that the songwriter, James Lord Pierpont, was actually sharing with all of us a fond memory.

Try to read his words without hearing the melody:

"Dashing through the snow

In a one-horse open sleigh

O'er the fields we go

Laughing all the way

Bells on bob tail ring

Making spirits bright

What fun it is to ride and sing

A sleighing song tonight!

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In a one-horse open sleigh, hey!

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In a one-horse open sleigh!

A day or two ago,

I thought I'd take a ride

And soon, Miss Fanny Bright

Was seated by my side

The horse was lean and lank

Misfortune seemed his lot

He got into a drifted bank

And then we got upsot

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In a one-horse open sleigh, hey!

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In a one-horse open sleigh!

A day or two ago

The story I must tell

I went out on the snow

And on my back I fell

A gent was riding by

In a one-horse open sleigh

He laughed as there I sprawling lie

But quickly drove away

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In a one-horse open sleigh, hey!

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In a one-horse open sleigh!

Now the ground is white

Go it while you're young

Take the girls tonight

And sing this sleighing song

Just get a bobtailed bay

Two forty as his speed

Hitch him to an open sleigh

And crack! You'll take the lead

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In a one-horse open sleigh, hey!

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In a one-horse open sleigh!"

Whoa! What a story! And such great advice: "Go it while you're young"!

He's telling us that he had the time of his life with someone he had a special relationship with! He's telling us that, in spite of having a spill in the snow, the two of them were laughing! He's telling us that he and Fanny Bright were even making fun of the horse a bit.

This is a "remember the time" story! Every year we hear it over and over and we miss this story EVERY TIME.

Don't miss your own story. Don't miss your Grandma's story. Don't miss listening, sharing, laughing, maybe even feeling sad together.

Thanksgiving is Thursday. The people preparing that food, and that get-together, are doing everything to make it perfect.

You will be making memories and you will be sharing memories.

There will be footballs thrown, board games played, photos passed around, toasts made, cigars smoked, gardens visited, recipes shared, dogs stealing food under the table, and maybe, JUST MAYBE, someone will offer to take a walk with JUST YOU, or maybe a ride to the store with JUST YOU, or maybe even a ride in a one-horse open sleigh...with JUST YOU.

Oh, what fun.

I painted this using Procreate with the dry brush.

[wohlbruecks]

[slippinmickeys]

Prompt Meeting in Tokyo, Gymnast Scully and Swimmer, or Triathlete Mulder. Loved the Amazon AU sequel.

This was SO fun, thank you so much for sending it. And I actually wrote roughly 6,000 words of it…

Without further ado:

A Gemlike Flame

1. When she first arrived, the cafeteria in the Olympic Village was her favorite place. The people watching was top tier, and she and her roommate had befriended the US volleyball team, which was pretty hilarious when they all sat together, the diminutive gymnasts and the willowy volleyball Amazons sitting side by side like kindergartners mingling amongst middle schoolers.

The last few days, though, she tended to grab something quick and take it up to her room.

She moved over to the beverage station to grab a mineral water and stopped behind a tall guy that was filling up a huge glass with soda. He was standing in such a way that she couldn't get past him. She glanced down at his tray while she waited and her brows rose up. It was absolutely piled with food. How the guy was going to even get the soda on his tray would be a feat of Tetris. She looked at her paltry salad and the grilled chicken she'd gotten to cut up and throw on top, and chuckled.

He turned when he heard her.

"Oh shit, sorry," he said, moving to the side.

His accent was either American or Canadian, she wasn't yet sure which.

"No worries," she said, and moved up closer to him to grab a bottle of Perrier. She again threw a look at his tray.

"Is that... all for you?" she asked.

He smiled and shrugged as he popped a lid onto his soda and then reached for the last bottle of chocolate milk in the cooler. She let out an involuntary groan of frustrated jealousy.

"God that looks good," she said.

He offered the milk to her.

"You want it?" he asked, "it's the last one and I probably can't fit it on my tray."

"I'd love to but..."

"But?"

"My coach would kill me. Restricted diet," she said, looking pitifully at her own tray.

He looked at her a moment as though he wanted to say something, but held his tongue.

"What's your sport?" he finally asked.

"Gymnastics," she said.

"Oh, big draw," he said, and she smiled.

"Yours?"

"Swimming,” he said, tilting his head humbly.

"American?" she asked. He nodded at her. "Me too."

He smiled.

"You, uh... want to sit together?" He nodded his head toward a nearby open table. "I'll covertly share my chocolate milk. We can practice the words to the Star Spangled Banner."

She huffed a laugh at him, then looked over her shoulder. The gymnastic coaches were sitting nearby and Derek, the dietary coordinator for the team, was looking directly at her. "I usually take it up to my room," she said on a sigh.

"Okay, well... Good luck out there, Gymnastics," he said, taking a step backward while still facing her.

"You too, Swimming," she said, and turned toward the exit, a small smile on her face.

2.She and Jessica had their feet up on the balcony railing, watching the sun dip below the horizon. They were several floors up and had gotten lucky with their assigned room. The Australian team across the hall had balconies that looked out at a beige, towering apartment complex, with nothing to look at but potted plants and mismatched patio furniture.

"I'm going out tonight," Jessica said, smirking a bit, "you should come."

"Curfew is at eight, Jess."

"And we're alternates, Dana," Jessica said, "unless Alicia Kopenkoski takes a half-gainer off the interview stage with Al Roker, we're just here to smile at the cameras and cheer on our team. I’m going out."

Dana sighed and bit her fingernails. She had been .05 points from making the actual team and had been devastated when she'd only qualified as an alternate. Her floor routine had been perfect, but she hadn't stuck her landing quite as steadily as she usually did (and hadn't since). She was 24 years old. This was her last chance to be an Olympian. Her last chance to win that medal and stand on the podium — it had been her dream since she was six.

Jessica reached over and squeezed her arm.

"I'll put snoring sounds on my laptop and we'll Ferris Bueller it. Come on, it'll be fun."

"No thanks," Dana said, finally looking over at her friend and smiling. "You know me, I'm too Suzy Rulefollower."

"You're missing out," Jessica said. Dana was still in her leotard and warm-up, but Jessica had showered and blow-dried her hair and was in full make-up; fake lashes, the whole nine yards. "I met a German equestrian," she went on, "I have big plans to be his little Pichelsteiner."

Dana laughed. Jessica was trying to cheer her up, and she loved her for it.

"I'm serious," Jess said, "I told him I could do the Bavarian Pretzel."

"Jess."

"Plan to let him take his weiner to my schnitzel."

"Jess!"

"Gonna gobble that Bratwurst."

Dana was doubled over with laughter. "You're nobody's wurst anything," she finally said, dabbing a tear from under her eye.

"Other than being this team's wurst gymnast, amiright?" Jess stood, and Dana sobered.

"Jess…"

"I’m 20. I’ll have a shot at Paris. It’s fine,” Jessica said, and squeezed Dana's shoulder. “Text me if you change your mind,"

"Have fun," Dana said, "and grab a handful of those Olympic condoms, huh?"

Jessica laughed and slid the door closed behind her, leaving Dana on the balcony with only her thoughts and the setting sun.

All of a sudden, something shot up over the side of the balcony railing and landed with a plastic clack on the floor near her feet. She gave a startled yelp, then looked to see what it was. A small plastic bottle of chocolate milk rolled on its side and came to rest by her left shoe. She picked it up -- it was still cold.

You can find the rest here on AO3.

[zunatheprincess]

Hello friends! 

We’ve been offline for quite a while again and still you guys have been liking and sharing my posts

Life has been super rough lately…Zunas health has been a challenge again (but we seem to be good for now), my mental health hasn’t been the best and therefore my uni work and other aspects of my life have been suffering. 

A little while ago I found out that a friend of mine died in a car accident and this kind of gave me the rest…I then went on an impulse camping trip in the Bavarian Forest and even though we almost froze to death it was so so so good to be away from home and out in nature. I mostly took bad photos on my phone, but maybe I can make a little something out of it - we’ll see. I really need to spice up my every day life with some nice autumn hikes and adventures. 

I tidied up and updated this blog a little…and we also have instagram now if you’re interested to follow :) 

Thank you for stinking around

[debbiechanclub]

“Winter Wonderland”

A prequel one-shot to “Take My Hand, Wreck My Plans.” Find the entire series here.

Title: “Winter Wonderland” Theme: @12daysofchristmas Day 3 - Holiday Carnival/Fair Fandom/Character(s): NJPW - El Phantasmo x OFC (Nellie Keegan) Warnings: Language, alcohol Word Count: 3.0k

Synopsis: Nellie goes with a group of friends to London’s “Winter Wonderland” carnival, where Riley takes a surprising step forward in their relationship.

Tag Squad: @galacticstat @hdbngsprnva @hotyeehawman @kingswitchblade @bec0m @champhangman @betsy-bradock @linziland13 @librathepheonix13 @meteora-fc @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @gabbynorth98 @exe-babymox-exe @brokenglassslippers @rocca09 @kawaiikels @adriii-omega @thatgirlforever5

Monday, December 16, 2019 London, England

Nellie had had a whirlwind 48 hours. Just two days ago, she’d been in Yokohama, Japan working a show for Stardom. As soon as it was over, she’d gone straight from the event hall to the airport to catch an overnight, thirteen-hour flight to London for RevPro Uprising 2019 the very next day. Tomorrow, she had another eight-hour flight from London to spend the last few weeks of the year back at home in Pennsylvania. But today, thankfully, she didn’t have anywhere to be—and she and the rest of the NJPW talent who had made the trip to England had decided to take advantage of the day off to play tourist and go to the most spectacular, most festive Christmas fair in the region, if not the entire country: Hyde Park Winter Wonderland.

Except, someone was being a Grinch about it.

“How long are we gonna be there?” Riley asked from the doorway of the hotel bathroom. He seemed uncharacteristically unenthusiastic about the whole thing; Nellie had thought a carnival with world-famous traveling thrill rides and a genuine Bavarian beer hall would have been right up his alley.

“I don’t know,” she answered as she finished swiping mascara onto her eyelashes. “It closes at ten, I think, and I doubt we’ll be there until then. Why?”

She tossed the mascara tube back into her makeup bag and gave him a curious look. He seemed hesitant to answer. “Do you not want to go?” she pressed.

“No, I do,” he returned. “It’s just the whole thing is kind of last-minute. I was hoping we could get dinner tonight, or something… just you and me.”

Nellie paused, completely caught off-guard. She almost didn’t believe her ears. In the near-two years that she and Riley had known each other, she struggled to recall a time they’d ever done anything alone that wasn’t inside a hotel room. Not because she hadn’t wanted to—she had. But a combination of circumstance and Riley’s fight-or-flight response to anything deeper than surface-level emotion had always gotten in the way. Until, apparently, right now.

A smile pulled at the corners of her lips. “Are you asking me on a date?”

He rolled his eyes. “Come on,” he breathed; but Nellie’s grin only grew wider.

“Well…” she moved toward him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “It sure sounds like you’re asking me on a date.”

She looked up at him, half expecting another one of his dismissive, noncommittal responses. But, for once, Riley didn’t shy away from the suggestion of something more.

“Well, maybe I am,” he said.

Nellie’s heart soared. There was no doubting what she heard that time. “Well, what about a breakfast date?” she suggested. “My flight isn’t until the afternoon.”

He arched a brow. “A breakfast date in bed, or…?”

“Riley! I’m being serious.”

He flashed a crooked smirk. “I know. A breakfast date sounds good,” he agreed, and he pressed his lips against hers, tender and meaningful. Nellie’s entire body buzzed with the kiss. They’d kissed hundreds of times… but this time, it somehow felt brand new.

“I wouldn’t mind a little something in bed beforehand, though,” he said against her lips. Nellie grinned.

“I know you wouldn’t.”

BANG-BANG-BANG!

She gasped and nearly jumped out of her skin when someone banged hard and loud on the hotel room door. “Stop fuckin’, it’s time to get holly jolly!” Hikuleo’s voice called from the other side.

Nellie breathed out and leaned her forehead against Riley's shoulder. “Jesus Christ.”

Riley, on the other hand, played right into it. “Hang on, I’m almost done,” he called back.

Hikuleo didn’t miss a beat. “So it’s been about two minutes, then?”

“Oh, fuck you!” Riley returned. “Three minutes!”

Nellie rolled her eyes in fond amusement. “Yeah,” she breathed, “I’m definitely gonna need the mulled wine to deal with the two of you all night.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Their group stuck out like a sore thumb among everyone else at Winter Wonderland. Between Hikuleo, Minoru Suzuki, Evil, and Sanada, they definitely looked not to be messed with. But as big and tough as they all were, they were just as excited to be there as the next person.

“Alright, where should we start?” Zack asked as he looked at a map of the park. Nellie leaned in to get a look, too—but Riley spoke up before she got the chance.

“Uh, my vote is for that.”

She looked up to where he pointed—and her stomach dropped. A yellow and white steel drop tower reached high into the darkening, overcast sky. It had to be close to three hundred feet tall.

“Oh, fuck yes,” Hikuleo agreed.

“Does it say how high it is?” Suzuki wondered.

“Uh,” Zack looked back at the pamphlet. “Eighty-five meters.”

“And what’s that in feet?” Nellie cautiously asked.

He bobbled his head, doing the math. “About two-eighty.”

Her eyes widened. She’d hoped maybe she’d judged wrong.

“Let’s go!” Hikuleo enthusiastically proclaimed, and he led the charge for their first ride of the evening. Riley smirked at Nellie as everyone followed.

“You gonna do it?”

She gave him a sidelong glance. “Yeah,” she professed; but he seemed like he didn’t quite buy it. “I am! I’ve been on a drop tower before!”

He just grinned. “Alright.”

They all bought their tickets for the ride—everything was pay-as-you-go—and lined up at the base of the tower just as they started loading up the next group of people. The park was busy, but not packed as it was a Monday night, and they were able to get on right away. Nellie didn’t know if that was a good thing or bad thing. On the one hand, she wasn’t afforded any time to chicken out. But on the other, she didn’t have any time to mentally prepare herself, either.

She climbed into a seat between Riley and Zack and pulled the over-the-shoulder harness down as tightly as she could. But even with her winter coat, there was more space between herself and the bars than she would have liked.

“It’s just one drop, right?” she said, attempting to give herself a pep talk. “It’ll be over in like, a a few seconds.”

“Yeah… not quite,” Zack answered. “It’s two drops—one from halfway and then one from the top. And they’ll probably hold us up there for a bit.”

Nellie gripped the harness tighter in her gloved fingers. “Fantastic.”

“You can still get off, you know,” Riley teased. She didn’t dignify it with a response.

A ride operator came around to check that all their harnesses were locked and secured. He gave the all-clear… and the next thing Nellie knew, they were being raised into the air. What she hadn’t expected, though, was for the seats to start turn counterclockwise around the tower, too.

“It spins?!” She shot Zack a look as if it was his fault.

“Not when they drop us,” he returned. “But look—you get the whole three-hundred-sixty-degree view.”

Nellie huffed. That wasn’t a consolation.

It seemed to take forever to get to just the halfway point of the tower. Nellie’s anxiety mounted with every foot higher they climbed. She wasn’t afraid of heights, per se—she absolutely loved roller coasters. But this was a different animal. It was the anticipation of the freefall that made it so nerve-wracking.

“This is only halfway, Nell,” Riley unhelpfully pointed out.

“I’m aware!”

They slowed to a stop. From down below, the ride operator taunted them through a loudspeaker, but she could barely hear him for the pounding of her heart in her ears. They crept a few inches higher—and then, sudden weightlessness.

She didn’t even scream as they dropped, just clenched her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t open them again until they were at the bottom.

“You alright?” Riley asked.

She breathed out. “Yeah.”

But it wasn’t over yet.

The ride operator taunted them some more… and then they started rising again. The seats spun faster around the tower that time, and Nellie had to close her eyes again to stave off the motion sickness. But when thirty seconds passed and they still hadn’t reached the top, she reopened them.

The height they were at was dizzying. They were so high up that, even with the cloudy weather, they could see the whole of downtown London, some four miles away. The carnival below looked like a miniature display, lights twinkling in the twilight, the people the size of ants. It actually would have been a beautiful view if she didn’t feel like she was about to throw up.

Finally, they arrived at the top. “Oh fuck, we’re really high,” she said.

“Here, don’t look,” Riley said, and he reached over and unexpectedly tugged her beanie down over her eyes.

“RILEY!” She pushed it back up and quickly grabbed hold of her harness again. “Seriously?”

“I’m just trying to help!” he grinned. She just glared at him.

The seats slowed to a more manageable spin, until they finally came to a stop. Nellie’s heart was in her throat now. From the loudspeaker below, a taped countdown began.

“Ten… nine… eight…”

“He’s not dropping us, trust me,” Zack commented.

“...five… four…”

“You think this thing has ever malfunctioned?” Riley wondered.

“...two… one… zero.”

Nellie braced herself. But nothing happened.

“Told you,” Zack said. Nellie’s shoulders slumped. She just wanted to get it over with.

“Hey, Nellie,” Hikuleo called from the other side of Riley. “What would you do if we were stuck up here?”

“Murder you as soon as we got down,” she answered.

“Me?!” he exclaimed. “This was Riley’s idea!”

“I’d murder him, too.”

Riley pouted at her. “Would you at least make it fun for me?”

“Murder me now,” Zack muttered in agitation. It made Nellie laugh, as nervous as she was.

The ride operator continued to hold them there at the top while he rattled off facts about the ride that were clearly only meant to heighten their anxiety. They would drop at a speed of 56 miles per hour; something about the velocity—Nellie wasn’t even sure. She just wanted him to shut up and drop them already.

“Alright, here goes the next meaningless countdown!” his voice echoed from down below. “Three… two…”

And they dropped without warning.

Nellie did scream that time. They free-fell for a full five seconds before the ride’s hydraulics slowed their descent as they approached the ground. Relief washed over her. Now that she was safe on the other side, the adrenaline freely kicked in.

Their harnesses released, and she stood on shaky legs from her seat. “You’re an asshole!” she proclaimed as she lightly pushed Riley’s shoulder.

“For what?!” he asked.

“For pulling my beanie over my eyes at three-hundred feet in the air!”

“Two-eighty,” Hikuleo corrected. She pursed her lips at him.

“Well…” Riley returned, “it distracted you from thinking about how high up we were, didn’t it?”

He smirked, obviously proud of his logic. Nellie just rolled her eyes. Of course he would come back with something like that.

But even though she wouldn’t admit it, he wasn’t wrong. It had distracted her, if only for a moment.

* * * * * * * * * *

They followed up the drop tower with a couple of the roller coasters and then moved on to the smaller rides. Nellie’s favorite was one called XXL, a G-force pendulum ride that swung them high into the air while dance music played from an on-board sound system. Afterward, they went on Daemonium—a haunted house that you rode through on a track in two-person cars—and she’d screamed and grabbed Riley’s hand when a costumed actor unexpectedly revved up a chainsaw motor right next to her. Riley had laughed, of course; but then he’d pulled her close, his hand on her leg. She’d held onto his arm the rest of the ride, huddled into him.

It wasn’t long, though, before everyone decided they wanted food—and, more importantly, beer. And for that, there was no better place than the Bavarian Village. They’d gone straight to the large Bavarian Hall and found a spot toward the end of one of the long traditional bench tables; Suzuki had promptly bought them all a round, and then Sanada had gotten them another. By the time Nellie finished her bratwurst, she had a pretty good buzz going.

“Are you having fun?” Riley asked into her ear. It was probably just to be heard above the live music, but the feel of his lips against her hair filled her stomach with butterflies.

She smiled at him and nodded. “Are you?”

“I am,” he said, and he placed a kiss on the side of her head. She went all warm and tingly.

“Alright, what’s next?” Hikuleo asked. “It’s getting crowded in here and the music sucks.”

“I want to go to that funhouse we saw,” Sanada said.

“Oh yeah, that looked like it could be cool,” Hikuleo agreed. But Nellie had something else in mind.

“I want to go on the observation wheel.”

Zack quickly shook his head. “Don’t bother; it’s a waste of eleven quid.”

Her brow furrowed. “What? I don’t think it would be. I want to see the view of the city from up there.”

Hikuleo laughed. “You saw it on the drop tower!”

“Well, I was too busy freaking out to appreciate it on the drop tower!”

“I’ll go with you,” Riley said then. Nellie looked at him in surprise.

“Really?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Come on.”

He stood up and pulled his coat back on, and Nellie’s stomach fluttered again. She wasn’t sure what had gotten into Riley tonight—why he was being so caring and attentive, why he’d asked her on a date out of the blue after shying away from anything more between them for the last two years. But she certainly didn’t mind it.

“Are we going?” he asked when she saw she still hadn’t moved.

“Yeah,” she said. She jumped up and zipped up her coat, pulling her beanie back on her head as he led the way through the crowd out of the hall. When they emerged back out into the cold evening air, Riley held his hand out to her. She interlaced her fingers with his, and they walked like that, hand in hand, the entire way to the observation wheel.

* * * * * * * * * *

The line for the wheel wasn’t very long, and they only waited a few minutes before they got right into their own pod. They sat across from each other on the cushioned benches that lined either side, and the space was so cozy that they had to sit with their legs staggered in between each other’s. The girl operating the ticket booth had told them that the speakers inside the pods played four different music stations they could choose from, and Riley had put on the Christmas music at Nellie’s request, even though she knew he didn’t really care for it. The wheel moved slow, turning and stopping again every few feet as more passengers were loaded on. In the distance, the lights of the city twinkled against the black of the sky. It was beautiful; even peaceful, now that she wasn’t in fear of her life.

“Can you turn off these lights?” Riley asked, referring to the LED lights that lined the ceiling of the pod. He searched for a button, but it didn’t look like there was one.

“Probably not,” Nellie said.

He lightly sucked his teeth. “We’d be able to see everything better if we could.”

A corner of her mouth quirked up. “Oh, is that why you want to turn them off?”

“Among other reasons,” he returned, his voice low. It made Nellie wish they could turn off the lights.

“Come here,” he said. He reached for her hand, and she let him gently pull her across the pod to sit next him, his arm secured around her shoulders, her fingers interlocked with his again. She settled into his embrace as he pulled his phone out of his coat pocket.

“What’re you doing?” she curiously asked.

“I figured you’d want a picture with the skyline in the background.”

He opened the camera and flipped the lens around to take a selfie, angling the phone to capture the view as best he could. They both smiled; but after he snapped the picture, he frowned as he inspected it.

“You can’t really see anything. It’s these stupid lights.”

“It’s still a cute picture, though,” Nellie said. “Send that to me. Please.”

She watched as he opened his text message chain with her and sent the photo. “Are you gonna post it with some cheesy caption?” he asked.

She laughed lightly to herself. “Not if you don’t want me to.”

She figured he wouldn’t. Nellie had pictures of just the two of them, mostly from nights they’d gone out with Torrance and Ishimori in Japan, but the only photos she’d ever shared on social media were ones of them together with their friends. Riley had only just taken the first baby step toward a relationship a few hours ago. Posting a photo where they clearly looked like a couple would probably be too much.

“You can post it if you want.”

For the second time that night, Nellie didn’t believe her own ears. And that time, she couldn’t stop herself from asking. “Okay, what’s gotten into you?”

She turned to look at him. His brow creased in question.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you’ve been acting all coupley with me all night. You asked me on a date.”

She expected him to come back with something smart—but he didn’t. Instead, he looked her right in the eye and earnestly said, “Because… I figured it’s about time I start acting how I feel.”

Nellie’s breath hitched in her throat. She smiled. “Yeah?”

He nodded. “Yeah,” he echoed.

If her heart had soared before, it was ten times higher than the drop tower now. She pulled her hand from his; she needed both to kiss him, to show him how much that meant to her. He drew her close, his touch underscoring everything he’d just said. And when they finally pulled apart and Nellie snuggled back into him, she could help but think that Zack had been wrong—this ride had been more than worth the eleven quid.

[beerselfie]

#Repost @austinglobetrekker L O N G T A B 🇺🇸 B A D 🇩🇪 T Ö L Z My friend JD @txbeerdude gave me a nice Bavarian Festbier to drink on a special occasion. It’s Oktoberfest Season! How’s that for a special occasion?🤣 I didn’t like it. I LOVED IT!!!👏🏾👏🏾 BAD TÖLZ FESTBIER (6.0% ABV) LONGTAB BREWING COMPANY @longtabbrewing [San Antonio, TX] Ironically… I’ve been to Bad Tölz, Bavaria 🇩🇪 (Swipe for photos) For some reason, I thought it was during our visit to Czech Republic (Nov 2014)🤷🏾‍♂️ Nope. Definitely that time we got lost in the Bavarian Alps (May 2011).🤣Cheers!👊🏾🍺♥️ #longtabbrewing #sanantonio #texas #craftbeer #supportlocal #brewery #beer #texasbeerlover #craftbeerlover #badtölz #festbier #bavaria #germany #oktoberfest @austinglobetrekker https://www.instagram.com/p/CitniwlrWHI/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=