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[still-a-morosexual-help]

Book Recs?🥺

I'm trying to get back into ✨ reading ✨ & would really really appreciate any recs that satisfy my semi-specific criteria:

■ Fall into at least one or more of these categories;

• Fantasy

• Horror

• Murder and/or Mystery

• Whatever genre Dan Brown's books fall under (murder/mystery but deeply fucked up? science v religion but both are terrible?)

■ Bonus Points for having one or more of these;

• Queer (extra super bonus points!)

• Found family

• Unhinged MC/characters

• Monsterfuckers/Monsterlovers (rating doesn't matter - meaning I don't really care if the "fucker" part isn't literal/explicit. Also I mean completely embracing the "monster" part and not it being a "I can fix 'em" thing)

■ Aren't;

• Slice of Life

• Sci-fi

• Taking place in a normal high school (while I prefer adult MCs I don't mind teenage MCs as long as they're incredibly fucked up and/or in a fantasy setting eg: percy jackson)

• Romance being the main plot with nothing else backing it up

• About love triangles unless it ends in a poly or queer romance

* Tragedy isn't encouraged but it's also accepted as long as you don't tell it's a tragedy beforehand

* Recommend anything you particularly like as long as it doesn't fall in the "aren't" category

* Rating doesn't matter at all

* I really like any variation of enemies to lovers or enemies AND lovers, whether that's something milder like rivals to lovers or something that's genuinely along the lines of "I'm trying to kill you! Oh fuck we're in love now" but I've only ever seen this done well in fanfic? So🤷

* Feel free to rant about your favourite books!

Lemme know in the replies or in my asks?

[softcookedeggplant]

mushroom and wild rice soup !!!!

[exopelagic]

I can tell im getting good at cooking bc I can innovate new dishes such as ‘shit on toast’ and have it be good

[dunmeshistash]

Tried to pick some of my favorite "fun facts", links to sources for everything under the cut if you're curious!

Dungeon gourmet guide

Revival Magic (spoilers)

Daltian Clan

Walking Mushroom Club (spoilers)

Cannibal elves

Elf Queen (Spoilers)

Kuro, common is also tough for them to speak due to their anatomy!

Mana Sickness

Beastmen / Artificial Beastmen

Ancient technology (Spoilers)

Faries are homunculus (Spoilers)

[bebopbop]

Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hotpot

I made this a while back and didn't think to post here because I never thought anyone would see it. But folks seemed to like the Exorcism Sorbet so here is the hot pot I made to celebrate the anime coming out! I've been following the Dungeon Meshi manga for years now and am so happy with the anime adaption. Great excuse to cook fun stuff. I have a few more dunmeshi recipes backlogged and some Witch Hat Kitchen ones I'll post as well. ^_^

[honeylemony]

Fuck it Dungeon Meshi dash simulator

🐉 eat-anything-once Follow

Saw a slime today ... Effervescent

0 Notes

🌱 premedelf

For the last time, stop sending me asks about my Carol liveblog. How I reacted was NORMAL!!!!!!

16 Notes

🧿 thebluer

Why so ceruleous

🔥rin1994

Shut the fuck up

3 Notes

🌱 premedelf

Watching Carol for the first time!! #liveblog 🤪

🌱 premedelf

The story is so compelling so far. They're so complex and becoming such good friends...

🌱 premedelf

HELLO????

🫐 clericalterror

Excited to hear what you think!! <3

38 Notes

🍻 iww-strong

Stupid fucking coworker putting us in danger again

🐉 eat-anything-once Follow

Oh no! Hope it gets better :)

🍻 iww-strong

I'm gonna kill you

6 Notes

🍲 eatwelllivewell

New Recipe under the cut! Used some locally sourced ingredients in mine but market-bought is fine.

Read More

823 Notes

🧿 thebluer

Not to vagueblog but does anyone else find. Some people's eating habits. Strange?

👥 mithrunsaysok Follow

Ok

🍄 weed-and-acid Follow

Anyone else hate gimmick blogs. Like lmfaoooo living in a prison of your own making much? Lol

👥 mithrunsaysok Follow

Ok

🐉 eat-anything-once Follow

Haha what a mess

🧿 thebluer

🙂

41 Notes

🍄 weed-and-acid Follow

DM ME FOR SALE

- indica, gorilla snot, green haze, Malibu sweet, sativa. bud and cut

- gummy and edible, mg varies

- tabs and dissolvers. K, P, O, A and more

🐺 beestwithin Follow

Boost

❤️ thedykerrr

Boost

🌚 midnightgoddess

Boost

👥 mithrunsaysok Follow

Ok

🧚 patta-dollface

I'm reporting you

420 Notes

🐉 eat-anything-once

Mushrooms are easy to find and easy to eat

🧿 thebluer

Say more on this

🐉 eat-anything-once

You can find mushrooms anywhere

🧿 thebluer

Hahaha I could listen to you all day

🐉 eat-anything-once

Some mushrooms are hard to catch and defeat

🧿 thebluer

🙂

6 Notes

🫐 clericalterror

Went into the forest today and found a burrow of rabbits. And get this! Their shed fur turned out to be providing important keratin resources for local dungeon mite populations :) nature is beautiful

🌱 premedelf

I want you

🌱 premedelf

How are* you

🌱 premedelf

Hahahahahahahaahah autocorrect sucks

🌱 premedelf

I want you

6 Notes

[bevy-obeyme]

Solomon Facts!!:

- Solomon is unbelievably bad at cooking - this is due to the fact he genuinely cannot follow recipes and accidentally lets his magic leak into the food.

- Surprisingly enough, Raphael actually enjoys it.

- Solomon’s favourite genre of music is Classical due to the fact the first record he ever listened to, Serenade of the Mage and the Demon, was a classical piece.

- His favourite fantasy novel is TSL - Tale of the Seven Lords. This is seen in the original OB! lessons.

- Solomon admits he likes all kinds of movie genres.

- He doesn’t get scared by horrors, but enjoys horror movies due to features other than the horror aspects.

- Solomon dislikes the ocean and is very careful to not use magic near it due to a bad experience during his trainee years of being a sorcerer.

- Solomon hates Hellfire mushrooms and nattō.

- Solomon hates humidity and hot weather which forces him into his room and turns his AC on full blast.

[verilly]

On my knees for some post-Mithrun fluff rn.

POST MITHRUN FLUFF? I gotchu 😎 it’s going to be bullet points b t dubs, just so I can catch the right mind set… THANKSYU 4 THE REQUEST ILY <3

Mithrun x Reader

•••|•••|•••|•••|•••

Right. So after canon he heads back to Melini (with you, of course) to scout out monsters and demons with his side hustle of making noodles! So as a noble yourself, you follow him to help achieve his dreams!

However, Mithrun is still ticked off at the part where reviving isn’t a plausible option after death, so he’s extremely careful with you. So much so that after a month or so with you trailing with him on his search for monsters, he tosses you in the noodle shop (with the land he had claimed with his noble blood).

At this point, he’s been so surrounded in his want for monster/demon blood that he hasn’t exactly made any progress with the noodle making… and well, neither have you. So there you sat, alone in a big restaurant, with no customers at all, no one to keep you company or to keep you entertained!

So that’s when you decide to try to cook noodles on your own!

You grabbed as many how to guide’s you could from books all over your country, which included recipes from the western territories all the way to the eastern islands! You even scrounged up some old tattered papers from the ex-canaries, Senshi, and the trash.

Collecting herbs, grains, and whatever monster-like ingredients Laios sent to you through the mail.

You decided to keep most of your habits a secret from Mithrun, or at least as you can from him because you wanted to be the one to teach him when the day comes he wanted to pursue his other desire. You always schedule your time practicing for when he's away, and Mithrun being the man that he is always has a set pattern on doing things. Meaning he always came back home almost at the exact same time everyday.

The only other times he'd come home at a later time is when he gets lost, for he has the time of his life navigating the city streets. (This is rare because he likes using his teleportation magic a lot more than actually walking.)

So on this very special day, once you've decided your skills are up to the test, you served him home made noodles. Not only were they home made, so was the sauce/broth. You were quite proud of making such a delicious meal, now it was time to share your talent with your lover.

"Mithrun, wake up, I have a very special breakfast to share with you!" You say, pushing him back and forth from his sleeping state. You'd waken up hours earlier to prepare for this momentous occasion.

No response.

Maybe you should have planned the scheduling better? This was earlier than usual for the ex-captain to wake up... No! You were his partner, he should wake up for you!

"Mithrun wake up!!!" You groan loudly, stopping all your movements before shoving your face into his blanketed stomach, "Please please please please!"

With no words to utter, Mithrun begrudgingly arose from the bed, sitting right up to face you. You beamed with excitement as he looked to face you.

"Why don't you join me down at the resturaunt floor? I have set up something quite amazing down there." You put a finger to your chin and smile, "Plus I think you'll like it a lot!!"

Down the steps the two of you went, where in arrival was the bowl of noodles you had prepared only minutes before. They were served with scallions, mushrooms, a pantry load of seasonings, and whatever meat you had bought fresh from the market a day before.

"What is this?"

"It's noodles! That I made.. for you... 'cause you said you wanted to make them yourself and.... I can see where I messed up a little, but I did it so that I can help you in the future! When you wish to fufill your desire of noodle making!!!" You sheepishly say, a much smaller smile creeping up on your lips.

"I never said you messed up." He said smoothly, teleporting away from you and into the seat in front of the food. You follow closely behind him, sitting at the seat next to him.

"Go on, take a bite! It'll be all for nothing if we run out of time and you need to go out monster hunting." You tilt your head to the right, clasping your hands together.

He looks down at the meal in front of him, and his good eye flickers up and down between you and the noodles. After a few seconds past he picked up the nice utensils you placed next to the bowl and took his first bite.

"So how does it taste? Do you like it??!"

"I don't feel anything in particular for it." He murmurs calmly.

"Ah." Your world view shatters for a moment, before sucking in your pride, "So what makes you feel that way? I thought it was really good, but our tastes are quite different from each other..."

"It's a little too flavorful for me, but I'm... grateful that you spent so much time perfecting this for me. How long was it? A few months?"

"What!!? How did you know that I was..."

"You can't hide things from me, [name]. You'll never be able to succeed."

You stare at him for a second before collapsing on the table before you, "Arghh! I totally thought everything was going to go great, but as it turns out... Mithrun is just too good for me." You pull the bowl towards you, taking the utensils from Mithrun's hand, "And if you don't like it then you don't need to eat it."

"It's not my taste, but I don't mind. Please, I'd rather not leave any left overs, especially if it's a meal from you." His face seemed to soften as he said those few words, and your face reddened in response, letting out an "oh" as you correct your posture.

"Well then if you have time off anytime soon, you could stay here and I could teach you how to make your own noodles that suit your own taste. Then we could actually open the resturaunt to the people." You say sweetly, looking down at the food, watching it dissapear by each passing minute, "I'm sure every being here in Melini would love to eat food made by the hands of a noble. Maybe even the Canaries can home, I'm sure they'd enjoy a meal made by their captain."

"Mm... I'll stay here for today. My desire's growing after eating this d- uhm. Delicious meal you made for me." He states simply, putting the empty bowl and utensils to the side.

"Alright then." You get up from the seat next to him and take his hand, "I'll teach you everything I know." Another smile perks up on your lips as you pull him to the kitchen.

Mithrun in a kitchen. Who could've guessed?!

He's not very skilled at cutting, buthis use of magic fills in the void quite perfectly.

You help him a lot, which includes taking his hands in yours when he begrudgingly uses the knife.

He likes your touches but not the “weapon” in his hands.

You also teach him to pound the noodles, which you usually put lots of energy into, but for him not so much. You have to fill in for him most of the time.

There will come a day where Mithrun won’t go out on expeditions and instead stays with you in the restaurant, for a long time.

And to him, he wouldn’t want to spend his last few (hundreds of) years any differently.

•••|•••|•••|•••|•••

I tried to make it flufffy I don’t know if this is fluff

I hope you liked it :3 pls keep sending me stuff it’ll take like a day - ish for me to fill it out but I def will!!!!!!!

My masterlist is on profile :3

Lots of love, Yours truly.

[a-twistedheartslonging]

sometimes people will pay mc to clean/cook for them. all are using it as an excuse to get a scent on you

epel appreciates home cooked meals, don't bother paying for ingredients, just use ones from his farm. he'll keep you company prefect

jade and floyd (who has taken to calling you his Cleaner Shrimpy) jade thinks it's cute to see you cook, he would love to see you swap recipes, learn your taste, do add extra mushrooms to his food please. floyd enjoys following you around while you clean and trying to mess things up so you can't leave. he always make jokes about lockin' you in. what do you meeeeaaannnn you have other clients? maybe he should bite you so they learn to stay away :) maybe he should lock you up right here :)

azul? come work for the mostro lounge! clean up the mess after work, only work for him, he'll pay you double just don't go spend time with others. why don't you start with his office and finish up after people leave. is what he would say if he lost all words the moment he gets to close to you.

jack is just helping a friend >:( don't get the wrong idea just hang out in the room when you're done, he does enjoy your cooking, he knows you'll make a great little mate and a great parent too, he does always compliment the chef.

riddle and vil will critique you but ultimately try to get you to stay

malleus follows you around while you clean all of diasomnia. he pays extra just to not clean savanna claw

sebek yells how you should be grateful to work for malleus, silver ears every meal with a smile and always compliments you and how he can tell you worked hard on it, lilia tries to have a cook off with you. you didn't have the heart to roast his cooking.

leona is used to the women hunting, cooking is almost like that, he'll pay you double is you drop the dragon, he'll say come over to clean but you're just a body pillow lol

ruggie uses those big old puppy dog eyes to get to give him a home cooked meal for free ninety nine.

by the end of it rook just pays to watch you go about your business in his space. it's creepy. but he always does write a 20 page thank you letter complimenting your skills, unless he decides to keep you in his nest ofc

trey wants to swap recipes remarking something about "well fed children", deuce is enamored with your cooking and raves about you to his mom, ace pretends not to care but will just throw his laundry at you for you to do, he tried to pay you in a hoodie of his but you refused to accept. carter says he'll make a post promoting your innovative idea but is trying to keep it to himself, he doesn't want some other stinky guy on you >:(

idia is to shy to ask but ortho has needed this for a while

jamil is thrilled when you too can cook together and try each others food, and you give him a break from cleaning after parties? kalon thinks it's a sign you love him that you offered (and his parents are thrilled to have a human work for him) and jamil gets to hang out with the cute little human and take a break? god send

eventually whoever gets the most from you is OBVIOUSLY a status symbol and will be shown off.

anyway sorry if you didn't like this

Oh, I love this, I talked before about Yuu getting a little cleaning and cooking side business going since a lot of guys suck at taking care of themselves, especially the well-off ones that prob had a maid take care of everything.

Jamil and Ruggie both need breaks/some help. Leona and Kalim are working these poor boys to the bone. Ruggie is def hounding you for leftovers.

I can imagine Idia is kind of embarrassed and might clean up or hide a few things before you come over, doesn't want you thinking he's gross. I'm picturing him in his web looking flustered as he pretends to act all focused on the game his playing on his tablet but he's actually just watching you clean and fueling his house waifu/husbando fantasies.

I would def run a hoodie tax for doing laundry.

Rook is another that would hide the things he doesn't want you to see before you come over to clean, not that there's much for you to do. He's very neat and organized but always looks for an excuse to get you into his nest. Probably offers you extra to scent a few things for him.

Cleaning for Leona...you know those cats that lie on the bed when you're trying to change the sheets and nap on the fresh from the drier clothes? He diffidently does that. He totally keeps trying to get you to only work for him and lays on you so you can't leave, threatening to charge him overtime doesn't deter him in the slightest. He also sticks close when you're cooking, the man loves food and wants to be fed by hand by you.

Oh man, Mal, Silver, and Sebek are so grateful when you take care of the cooking. Seb refuses to admit it though. You really need to keep an eye on everything, or else Lilia will sneak something into what you're making.

With the trouble that Ace and Deuce cause you're probably called to their dorm often to clean up some mess they made.

You would definitely get a lot of extra work from the octo trio, if it's not their rooms you're taking care of then it's help with the lounge. The eels are big-time fans of your cooking, but neither will leave you alone when you are trying to clean, and it makes the jobs take a lot longer. Not too bad if you're charging by the hour at least.

[mochinomnoms]

For something fun and fluffy, perhaps trying to recreate a recipe from your home with Jade? Only you don't recall the recipe except for the bare basics of the version you made for your family. It's not exactly... single serving. So it's just attempt after attempt of more food than you can reasonably eat.

Can you sell this? Is it even tasty?

“...”

“...Jade?”

“...Yes?”

“It's not meant to be bubbling like that.”

“I figured.”

“What did you add?”

Jade turned to you, silent and smiling. He looked really good, few of his top buttons undone, and his lavender sleeves rolled up. You huffed, tapping your fingers against the countertop impatiently. Jade simply closed his eyes and tilted his head.

“Jade, was it mushrooms? Did you add mushrooms?” You sighed, pinching at his cheek as he chuckled and leaned into your touch. “You did, didn't you!”

“Fuhuh~ I was curious!” he laughed, reaching his arms around your waist to bring you close to him. “I didn't expect it to start bubbling and turn pink.”

“You know, Azul only let me use his supplies in exchange that my recipe gets placed on the menu. He's gonna be so pissed when he finds out we wasted a bunch of ingredients.”

You sighed, resting your hands against the sides of his head and rubbing his cheeks with your thumb.

“I just wanted to try and make my grandpa's recipe, he used to make it for family events and stuff. I missed it.”

Jade clicked his tongue and cooed at you. “I'm sorry my dear, why don't be clean up, and I'll personally purchase you new, fresh materials to start again? I'll follow your every instruction this time.”

“Every one?”

“Each,” Jade placed a kiss on your nose. “And every one.”

You laughed, squinting your eyes at him in mirth.

“Even the ones where I demand a kiss?”

Jade smile turned into an amused smirk, his eyes lidding as he leaned down to hover his lips over yours.

“Is that what you want me to do?”

You held your breath, face growing warm as you smiled.

“It's what I demand~”

Jade hummed, “Oh my, then excuse me for making you wait. I'm more than happy to oblige.”

And he indeed did, one of many.

[lilacartsmadsion]

Decided to show their full designs.

The Shadows of the gods or The Pillars of Darkness:

They guard the borders of Earthbread from the forces outside, Humans, Wizards all of them are a threat to the Light’s wonderful paradise of freshly baked cookies. Each one is a Shadow of the gods entirely and sometimes even worshipped as minor deities called ‘Legends’

They go by many names.

The Shadows of The Divine

The Pillars of Darkness

The Guardians of Earthbread.

Each Pillar follows the will of each god.

Grim Reaper/Deathly Licorice Cookie:

The Shadow and Angel of The Abysmal Gingerdozer…he who places those to eternal slumber. The final sleep of death. By the will of the Abysmal One does he follow, plague, destruction and malnutrition follow his path, for the lone path of death is not one many want to follow…

The Grim Reaper was created as a gift by The Nameless…given away to his brother to keep his titles afloat. Representing the dark black void of death, the quick release of silence the night offers in the dark…The Angel soars from on high guarding the borders from all directions. To the East he resides as that is birthplace. Go east if you wish to enter the realm of the dead, but beware for he is watches upon the endless sky…

The Cookies of this realm worship him as the deity of death, out of respect for keeping the order of this world…as thus he is called ‘The Pillar of Death’

Empyreal Pomegranate Cookie:

The Shadow and Priestess of the Ethereal Strawberry Cookie. She presides over the faithful and grants the blessings of luck upon those whose hearts are pure. The Priestess follows the will of the goddess of love, however blind her faith may be…

The Empyreal Vassal blesses those who put their whole faith in the gods and grants the chosen luck and grace throughout their lives. Protection is sought out once you seek her, as she protects those who are persecuted and scorned. To the North is where she resides for love and faith is the direction of the coldest hatred. She protects her side of the border with her unwavering curses of hatred. Go North if you wish for her aid, pass her trials of faith and she will protect you.

The Cookies of this realm worship her as a deity of protection, due to their unwavering faith in her abilities she is henceforth known as ‘The Pillar of Faith’

Jubilant Poison Mushroom Cookie:

The Shadow and Servant of the Glorious Gingerbright. They guide the young and nurtures the forgotten. Children are called to follow their path and adhere their example. They provide nutrition for the young, tend to the youthfulness of children, and most of all listen to the cries of the forgotten…

The Jubilant Deity brings forth the life within children. The freedom and development of their lives. Some say that this type of love is chaotic, but for the eyes of the deity, children deserve to experience even the slightest amount of joy. They are revered as their patron god and above all protector. They protect their side of the border with the poison of chaos. Go forth South for their protection, for they accept all children in their land.

The Cookies of this realm worship them as a deity of chaos, the reason why their name has switched to poison…though they call upon the freedom of the youth they are also known to be quite the trickster…thus they are named ‘The Pillar of Chaos’

Impervious Red Velvet Cookie:

The Shadow and Knight of The Apoditic Wizard Cookie. He resides over all matters of warfare and battle. The concept of war and strife is etched unto his mind. The Final Witness of the true nature of the Witches, The Impervious one protects his side of the borders with an Iron Fist.

The Impervious Knight reigns over a tower made of cakes, guarded by the legendary cake hounds of the ancient recipes of the Wizards. Using these he creates an army capable of protecting the cookies from all harm. He guards his side of the borders with pure might. Go West to seek out his domain, but beware for none make it back alive…

The Cookies of this realm worship him as a deity of war. Though they fear his might they respect him as a protector. Thus naming him ‘The Pillar of War’

The Dark Enchantress Cookie:

Much like the Nameless, His shadow bears no name, but a title. Created from the dough of the Wizards her might shines the night sky into pure oblivion. The shadows is where she lurks, the endless night is where she wakes. Born with the anger and sorrow of the Light she soars the sky with her army of cakes in tow.

The Dark Enchantress bears the weight of the darkness reminding the cookies of the balance between dark and light. The Shadows can aid and hide those who need protection. But blind those from the sights of their enemies. A reminder that the darkness is neither friend nor foe…She protects the borders of Earthbread with the might of the gods by her side. Go to the center of Earthbread, seek out the Millennial Tree…and pray tell she will be there.

The Cookies of this realm regard her as a deity of darkness, out of respect and pure awe in her the Cookies dub her ‘The Pillar of Darkness’

Each of these Pillars have a role to play in protecting the borders of Earthbread…may they reign eternal in their will of protection…

———————————————

I blame @cuppajj’s Beast Ancients AU for reviving my inspiration back from the dead. I’m trying to plan out the Legends’ backstory but let’s just say I’m also trying to figure out the main story.

Aka the actual plot of the AU. ‘That time I adopted a god’

Cause I haven’t really given Gingerbrave a direct motive for leaving and turning mortal. I’m THIS tempted to do an LMK Nuwa move. For him tbh.

But yeah here’s the Pillars of Darkness folks.

[mushroomates]

samwise gamgee headcanons:

enjoys doing the dishes and folding laundry

love language is quality time or acts of service

likes to give sprouts and seedlings to friends and neighbors

nerd about mushrooms and has a mushroom log growing in his closet

keeps a hoard of ladybugs to deploy at any time

windowsill is lined with old jars and bottles, filled with clippings for propagation

he gives the best slices of pie and best baked cookies to others. will keep “defects” for himself- they taste just as good

favorite cookies are “everything but the kitchen sink” where he throws a bunch of stuff into the bowl (fruit, pretzels, nuts) and puts it into a cookie

has like 80 pillows on every couch/bed/chair

in addition to the 50-something blankets also piled high

“please, have a seat” he says. ha, no. any surface you could possibly settle onto is adorned with elaborate spreads of throws and such.

has a fruitcake that is legit an heirloom. it’s so stale it’s a brick. you can use it as a doorstop, stepping-stool, or a bludgeoning weapon. (note: has been used for all. he once chucked it at a late night visitor. this is how he learned frodo takes late walks at night. this is also how frodo learned that sam has an arm on him)

his great aunt made it forever ago and honestly he doesn’t know if it’s still good. he keeps it around because it’s been with him so long he feels bad throwing it out.

likes pecan pie! goes nuts (pun intended) for it.

roast his own chestnuts, pecans and walnuts. has a strange grudge against macadamia nuts. (almost choked on one as a child)

very cozy. has scarves and mittens and even slippers (GASP) at the ready

likes to watch the rain with a cup of tea for hours on end

takes his tea with honey, two sugars, and cream. it barely counts as tea.

enjoys bubble baths.

guerrilla gardening. sam is a force to be reckoned with on this front. he is a strong advocate for native plants and will gut someone over deforestation.

carries a salt shaker filled with seeds everywhere. kind of just. shakes it around empty plots of land.

has a hostile land grab once a month and slowly expands the baggin’s garden by an inch, until it takes up nearly the whole estate.

has a great misconception about the appropriate amount to discuss you garden with someone. this is because:

he tends to talk about this to frodo, who will listen, good naturedly

frodo also prevents anyone from talking over sam or changing the subject

most hobbits are to polite (passive aggressive) and don’t have the skills to subtly change the subject in a way sam understands

and if he does recognize the effort he will avoid it

likes to try new recipes but at the same time never follows them

knows a great deal about farming hemp. this is because merry and pippin recruited him into their pipeweed shenanigans and now sam has unintentionally created a strain of the good stuff that has hobbits traveling miles to get their hands on

loves his houseplants like children. they have names and backstory and a rich inner life that he has created that could fill a book

is fighting a battle with english ivy at the moment and only slightly loosing it. it’s suffocating the tree outside his house and he’s not very happy with it.

[blues824]

round 5 ‼️‼️ gotta feed them silver simps

silver w prompts 18 and 19!!

You requested: Christmas Dinner, Making Christmas Dinner, + Mistletoe 

Sorry I forgot it on the last request!!

Silver

Because the Diasomnia crew was going back to Briar Valley for Winter Break, you had proposed having a dinner celebration before then because you were not going to see them for a little while. Malleus and Lilia knew that there was a bit of a situationship between you and Silver, so they were all too happy to accept your invitation.

It was a rather casual occasion, but you still decorated the dormitory appropriately for the season it was. You were wiping down the counter when you got a text from a certain silver-haired knight.

Do you need any help setting up?

You paused to look around you, seeing if you actually needed any assistance. Then you realized that you would need help preparing dinner. You needed a few ingredients as well, but your hands were tied at the moment. So, you decided to call him.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Silver! How good are you at cooking? Or even just following a recipe?”

“I would say I am proficient.”

“Good, because I need help preparing the meal and I need a few ingredients. It’s not a lot, and I’ll pay you back-”

“No need. I’ve got you covered. Being a knight pays fairly well, so don’t worry.”

“You are my knight in shining armor… When do you think you’ll get here?”

“Should be less than an hour. I’ll head to Sam’s Shop right now.”

“Ok! Sounds good. See you later!”

“Bye, Y/N.”

~~~~~~~~

True to his word, he arrived at Ramshackle no later than an hour after he hung up. He knocked on the door with his free hand, grocery bag in the other. He had to escape from his dorm quietly, otherwise his father would have wanted to help with the cooking, and the last thing anyone needed before the trip was food poisoning.

When you answered the door, you had a smile on your face as you tried to take the groceries from him, but he refused, saying he wouldn’t be a gentleman if he had you carry them. You let him in, and he set them on the counter, and he immediately set about rolling up his sleeves to his elbows and washing his hands.

Seeing him roll up his sleeves had to be the hottest thing you had ever seen. You were able to clearly see the veins of his hands and the slightly toned muscles in his forearms. You could have died happy right then and there.

ANYWAY, he turned to you as he wiped his hands on the towel.

“What are we going to be making?”

“…Buckle up.”

~~~~~~~~

He was right: he was proficient when it came to cooking. Of course, he was just following the recipe, but he was doing really well. For the dinner, you wanted to make their favorite dishes as well as some dishes from your own world as well.

That meant that you were making mushroom risotto, salmon carpaccio, you had gotten some ice cream beforehand, and you looked up some tomato dishes. You also, luckily, had some tuna to feed Grim. The smell of the kitchen wafted through the air, making the cat hungry, and more than a few times you and Silver had to swat his paws away from the food.

When you had diced the onions, he got concerned when you started crying. He rushed over to you and checked to see if you had cut yourself. You were definitely surprised by the close proximity, but you had to assure him that you were fine and it was the onions rather than you actually being hurt.

In order to make sure that you were alright, he took over chopping the onions, and they still managed to make him tear up, but he kept going. He would rather do it, even if it did sting a bit, because you were washing out your eyes with some water at the moment.

Onion incident aside, everything else went smoothly. You both talked about whatever came to mind, topics such as how his training was going or what Sebek freaked out about just the other day. To hear that your fellow First Year was screaming at a poor Diasomnia student for daring to not bow before the great Malleus Draconia was not surprising. In fact, you felt pity for the student, as they might not have known the proper etiquette for being around the Royal Family.

When you placed the last dish out on the table and covered it with aluminum foil, you thanked him for all his help, and an awkward silence fell over you both. He gathered his things and exited the door back to Diasomnia, going to change because he had gotten some stuff all over his clothes. You were in a similar state and rushed upstairs to get a change of clothes.

Meanwhile, two certain faes and a certain cat were plotting a little something, and Grim quietly slipped out of the room to get one last decoration. Malleus and Lilia totally bribed him the last time they saw him by the way, offering to bring the fanciest tuna that money could buy.

~~~~~~~~

You were a bit nervous for the dinner, as you had never hosted royalty before. You yourself didn’t know how to act, and you were afraid you were gonna end up like the scolded Diasomnia student. However, you were not afraid to fight Sebek back.

Anyway, the doorbell rang, and you rushed to open it. Your guests had arrived, and you greeted each and every one of them as they walked in. They took in the decorated, yet still ramshackled dormitory, and you were getting even more nervous. However, Silver gave you a comforting smile that made your butterflies settle down.

“What lovely decorations, Prefect!~” Lilia said as he put his coat on the coat-rack.

“It smells wonderful, Child of Man,” Malleus could definitely sense your nerves, so he tried to calm you down.

“Thank you. The food is ready, if you’re all hungry!” You said, leading them to the kitchen, where they would assemble their own plates. You were afraid that you were gonna be yelled at for daring to make the prince make his own plate of food, but you got no retribution. You looked at Sebek and his mouth actually was duct-taped. The sight made you giggle, but you moved on rather quickly.

Once everyone got their servings, you all sat down in the living room to enjoy each other’s company. The piece of tape on the younger knight’s mouth was removed on the condition that he would not complain. To be fair, you learned to make salmon carpaccio for him, so he had no real reason to complain anyway.

Silver had a serving of the mushroom risotto, his favorite, and he noticed that his father took some as well, making him feel a bit happy. He took a bite and noticed that it tasted wonderful, a great fruit of you and him working as a team. 

You were invested in your conversation with Malleus, asking him about his grandmother and her wellbeing, any new gargoyles he took notice of, the types of architecture back in the Briar Valley, and he was all too happy to speak about it with you. Silver found himself staring at you, and Lilia discovered that as well, giving him a bit of an elbow.

“Why don’t you actually talk to Y/N?” His father whispered to him.

“I don’t know what you mean, Lilia. I talk to them regularly.”

“Oh, but you do know what I mean. I’ve seen that look in many eyes, including my own. You’re in love, my son,” He said, a knowing gleam in his smile.

~~~~~~~~

As the crew got up to leave, you noticed that Malleus, Lilia, and even Grim all had smirks on their faces. You were definitely very suspicious, especially as you lingered behind with Silver, not quite ready for him to leave yet.

“Are you sure I can’t pay you back for your help today?” You asked, stopping right before the front door.

“I am very sure, Prefect. You don’t need to worry,” He said, also stopping. He was trying his hardest to not fall asleep right then and there, feeling the day’s exhaustion catching up to him.

Then you noticed something like magical sparkles floating down. You looked up to see a levitating piece of mistletoe, letting out a gasp as both of your faces grew warm. Silver looked back into your eyes.

“I am not one to stray from tradition, but I understand if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Are you asking if you can kiss me?”

“I suppose…?”

“Then yes.”

And with that, as the rest of the Diasomnia crew celebrated outside your front door, your knight in shining armor placed a gentle and delicate kiss upon your lips. His hands went to cup your face, and your hands went to hold onto his arms, both of you reveling in the loving embrace of your newfound lover.

[senshiscookbook]

Giant Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hotpot

So a few weeks before I decided I was going to attempt this recipe, I actually obtained a hotpot from my local Asian grocery for entirely separate hotpot reasons (hence the hotpot you see in the photo). It works! It’s great!

For ingredient replacements, I made the following substitutions:

Giant scorpion — Lobster tail, which I got from my local supermarket. I realised halfway through cooking them that cutting them in half with a knife was going to be really hard, so I actually used kitchen scissors to slice the shell open before using the knife to crack them lengthwise. If lobster is inaccessible for you, use shrimp.

Invertatoes — Small potatoes (babyish), if you’re going to attempt this i recommend peeling them before putting them in the hotpot because it makes them melt into the stock in a way that’s really nice. These will be cooked when you can poke a fork through without resistance.

Walking Mushroom — King Oyster Mushrooms, cut up the stem and slice it vertically so you end up with these 1-2 inch mushroom slices in squareish shapes. You can keep the caps whole for the look but honestly if you’re not taking photos, the texture is nicer when sliced through lol.

Dried Slime — Konnyaku/Konjac noodles, I also found these at my local Asian grocery. I like the texture of them a lot and they’re really yummy because they’re basically made for hotpot.

Algae — I rehydrated a bunch of wakame seaweed before placing it inside the hotpot. IF YOU ARE GOING TO DO THIS I recommend NOT using a hotpot stock with a lot of particles. There are also other types of Japanese seaweeds which are meant for soup that look closer to the real deal, but they are not as easily available to me.

Hotpot stock — I know it says water and salt in the manga but frankly I wanted spicy food, so I used HaiDiLao mala hotpot stock. You can use whatever stock you want to be honest, the downside of the stock I used is that while it was extremely tasty, the peppercorns and chillis did get lost in the seaweed so I kept biting into peppercorns by accident. Honestly, that’s my bad for being way too eager to eat spicy food. Anyway use something you won’t regret as much, like mushroom stock or chicken stock or something.

It’s possible to make this meal fully pescatarian and gluten-free (the konnyaku noodles AFAIK do not have any gluten in them). I added a little bit of noncanonical chicken to my hotpot because I was trying to eat up ingredients in my fridge before travelling, but you are of course not obligated to do this.

You can also see from the photos that I laid out the ingredients in the pot before I poured the stock in, which is generally counterintuitive for hotpot, but I did it to get the layout. So whatever. Bring everything to a rolling boil. If you’ve put everything in at the same time, everything cooks fairly quickly except the potatoes which will finish cooking last (see above for the sign that they’re done). Since this is hotpot, feel free to begin picking at it in order of doneness, beginning with the seaweed and noodles (neither needs much cooking) and then heading over to the proteins.

Yay, cooking!

[parad-ice-lostandfound]

Prompt:

Pairing: OM!Brothers with GN!MC, may be read as platonic or romantic

Genre: Slight angst ig

TW: NA

You walked into Purgatory Hall, which had been your home for the last few weeks, after making up with the brothers. Flopping onto the couch, you let out a deep breath. It was as if a weight was taken off your shoulders; a welcome change from what you felt before.

“MC, you’re home!”

You felt a weight on you, blonde tufts of hair revealing the person’s identity. You smiled, patting the head of the angel who become comfortable on you. “Hello Luke, where’s Simeon and Solomon?”

“We’re here,” came Simeon’s voice, and you registered the dipping of the couch near your head. Simeon ran his fingers through your hair, pulling a satisfied hum from you. Solomon took his seat at the chair opposite of the couch, looking at your form.

“How did it go?”

“It was fine. They surprised me, that’s for sure,” you answered, thinking back to how Belphegor had stood up for Lucifer. The sorcerer’s eyes softened at your clear happiness. “Well then, this calls for celebration. I’ll make my special Hellfire Mushroom Soup for dinner,” he said, getting up and walking towards the kitchen. A wave of dread passed over you and Luke, both scrambling from your comfortable positions to avoid having to sample another abomination the sorcerer would create. “Solomon wait!”

Simeon simply chuckled and shook his head, following you two to the kitchen.

Your relationship with the Purgatory Hall Crew and Diavolo and Barbatos had always been good. They had been your support at one of your lowest moments, and you felt safe with them. Maybe that was why you now felt awkward talking to the brothers and making plans with them again. For the first few weeks, you tried to make enough time for everyone. But there are only 24 hours in a day, and only so much time you could spend with people. Not to mention, shifting to Purgatory Hall meant less time you could spend with the brothers, and often you found yourself gently refusing offers to hang out.

“Hey MC, I found this new cat cafe that recently opened. Want to come with me to check it out?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry Satan, Luke wanted to show me a new recipe he learned from Barbatos today. Maybe some other time?”

“Oi, MC! This new casino just opened up, ya comin’ with me?”

“Oh, Mammon, I actually promised Solomon I’d go looking for Infernal Fungi with him tonight… How about tomorrow?”

“MC, there’s a new kind of perfume that came in Majolish recently, could you come with me to try it?”

“Sorry Asmo… I’m going to buy tea with Barbatos. How about you buy it, and I’ll try it after? Does that sound good?”

No matter how much you tried, it seemed to the brothers that you no longer had time for them.

Lucifer

Expected it, but boy was his pride crushed.

He knew you weren’t purposefully avoiding him and his brothers, but it still hurt when you turned down his offers.

Realized that this was how you must have felt, and his pride plummeted another ten feet.

Doesn’t really say anything about it, but everyone can see that he is noticeably kinder towards you.

Mammon

Angry at you at first. How dare a puny human not make time for the Great Mammon?!

That anger fizzles out just as quickly as it came, and then he becomes paranoid.

Do you not want to spend time with him? Did he already blow his second chance? Are you disgusted with him?

It can lead to two situations: 1, he becomes even more clingy of you and insists on accompanying you everywhere or 2. he just leaves you alone, thinking that you hate him

Treasures anything that you’ve ever given him more than he already does, and stops going to casinos as much as he used to before.

Leviathan

Oh boi

Drowns in an ocean of self-deprecation and self-hatred.

Of course MC doesn’t want to hang out with him, after all he’s just a yucky otaku who never leaves his room-

Deep down he wonders if this was how you felt when they all sidelined you

Tries to keep his envy in check whenever he sees you with Solomon and the others

Satan

He expected it as well, and isn’t too bothered by it-

That’s what he wants to show, but anyone who knows Satan can clearly see how longingly he looks at you when you walk back to Purgatory Hall with Solomon

He wishes he could have more of your time and attention, but he also realizes that this situation is a consequence of his and his brothers’ actions

Tries to spend as much time with you as he can

Asmodeus

Acts as though he is not that affected you’re not spending time with him, but it’s just an act

Deep down he wonders if you still find him beautiful both inside and out, like you used to before

Mopes around Solomon a lot, so the latter suggests having a sleepover at Purgatory Hall

Ends up sleeping over at Purgatory Hall at least every weekend.

Beelzebub

Doesn’t really notice it at first, mostly because you ask him to tag along to stuff if you’re busy with something and he says yes

Isn’t really bothered by it, he knows they broke your trust and it will take a long time for you to ever feel truly comfortable around them again

Offers to share his time with you with his brothers, he knows they must be missing you as well

Belphegor

Wants all your time for himself, but then feels guilty for wanting your time

Doesn’t know how to react to this situation, so he reverts to what he knows: acting like a brat to get his way

But once he finds that that makes things worse he’ll subtly try to cut back on his bratty attitude

Expect him to hover awkwardly around you when you’re doing stuff, trying his best to stay awake so that he doesn’t miss a single moment spent with you