#murder besties your honour

[bananadramaaa]

CW: murder besties

A continuation of this little comic, because they live in my head rent-free & I have no self-control ~ Just the couple of pals having a drunken discussion.

(third part kinda)

[ivory--raven]

Best friends!!

look. i promise that i have a meta post in the works that is very serious and smart but i have been dying over this alone for days now and just need to share it

✨best friends forever✨

[dyeher]

Warnings: mentioned cheating, bestfriend! yuuji, bestfriend! megumi, mentioned violence, gojou satoru, this is fucking crack not angst.

Notes: *gets cheated on by male* *male gets beaten up by unstable besties* *besties get bailed by equally unstable guardian* unedited: read at your own risk.

“He didn’t!” Yuuji’s jaw is unhinged, giving you an unobstructed view of his half chewed fries.

You can feel Megumi’s eyes as they stare into the side of your head. You can feel their intensity. He hands you another tissue from the Kleenex box in the table between you. “Get it off your chest,” you sniffle, dabbing at your eyes with the tissue.“Go on, I know you have something to say.”

“We should kill him,” Megumi blurts. Yuuji’s jaw snaps shut so hard his teeth clack together. Your head whips toward Megumi.

Your ex had messed up, sure, but murder was- well murder was crazy. And he’d really messed up, I mean as far as cheating went, he definitely took the cake for asshole of the year. Not that you were the one actually being cheated on anyway, but still murder was a little much.

Yuuji blinks at Megumi’s stoic face, slowly bringing a fry to his mouth. You blink at Yuuji because it seems like he’s considering it.

Your eyes fill with tears again because as terrible as murder was they really would kill him for you. “Oh Megumi!” You throw yourself at him, your arms wrapping tightly around his shoulders as you sob.

Megumi sighs. “He’s not worth the severe dehydration,” he says, rubbing your back soothingly.

Yuuji’s drink is thrust in your face. “Here, drink this, that way you can cry as much as you want.”

Your sobs break into a wet giggle as you take the cup from Yuuji. “Thank you.”

Megumi pulls away enough to stand from his seat and drag you up with him. He doesn’t look at Yuuji as he guides you to the giant couch in their living room and helps you get comfortable curled up into his side.

“Fine,” he acquiesces. “Cry as much as you want today and tomorrow, but then Yuuji and I will fix this.”

You convince yourself, as Yuuji sinks down next to you and wraps his arm around your waist, that whatever ‘fix this’ means it will not entail violence.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” you sniffle. “Okay?”

“Sure,” Megumi shrugs.

“Okay,” Yuuji mumbles into your side.

They did something stupid. Maybe even something that entailed violence.

In fact, when Megumi had called from the police station in Tokyo and very casually asked you to find Gojou he’d also asked you not to come with him.

It was the wrong thing to say obviously. If those idiots got arrested defending your honour even though you didn’t ask them to, then you were going to be there to see them bailed.

Gojou glances at you over the top of his glasses. “Are you sure you want to be here for this?”

You narrow your eyes at Gojou. “Why aren’t you upset?”

Gojou blinks, his brows furrowing in confusion. “Why would I be upset?”

“They got arrested!” You splutter. “I- you’re acting like this is normal! Seriously? They were arrested,” you repeat.

Gojou’s lips twitch and you have to stop yourself from reaching across the center console and shaking the man violently. Clearly the gravity of the situation had only settled on your shoulders.

What if he wanted to press charges? Oh God, they’d have a police record! Your eyes water just thinking about the implications of their actions and they’d done it for you.

“Please don’t cry,” Gojou says, quickly. “I can’t do crying.”

You glare at him through your blurred vision. “But you can do arrests!?”

He purses his lips, before sighing. “It’s not the first time I’ve had to bail them out.”

You jerk away, bumping your elbow into the car door, your mouth falling open as he glances at you from the corner of his eye.

“It’s not- it’s not the first time?!” your pitch rises, incredulity coloring your tone.

Gojou smiles at you. Smiles. It’s almost as though he’s proud of the fact. Proud that he’s had to bail the boys he’s raised out of a jail cell before this. Maybe he doesn’t see the way that reflects on him.

By the time you pull into the parking lot of the precinct your heart is pounding.

“Don’t say anything,” Gojou warns you, and as you watch him straighten to his full height and square his shoulders you realize, yeah, it’ll be fine.

Fifteen minutes later, as Megumi collects his things and Yuuji grins widely at you, you finally release the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

You don’t speak even as Gojou guides you back into the car. The silence stretches until he pulls out of the parking lot.

Gojou breaks it with a faux serious question. And you know it’s faux because you can see his lips twitching.

“How bad is it?”

Yuuji laughs. “A broken nose.”

“Dislocated jaw,” Megumi adds.

“I think we fractured his ribs too,” Yuuji muses.

Your eyes bounce from one to the other and then Gojou hums.

“That’s not too bad,” he says.

You open your mouth to argue but Gojou chuckles and then Yuuji starts humming and Megumi turns to him with his narrows.

“What is that?” he asks. “Is that- is that Another One Bites the Dust?”

Gojou joins Yuuji’s humming.

You glance between all three when Megumi begins to sing the lyrics. You sit back heavily in your seat. Why bother? Why bother when Gojou talks to the commissioner like they’re old friends, and the officers at the precinct high-five Yuuji and nod solemnly at Megumi.

Why bother when Gojou clearly wasn’t bothered and your ex probably got what he deserved—not that anyone deserved to have their face bashed in—but…well, arguing with them about their actions would imply that you were protecting your ex. And you weren’t.

Yuuji has begun snapping his fingers and bobbing his head, Gojou’s fingers drum rhythmically on the steering wheel.

“Another one bites the dust,” sings Megumi.

“And another one gone, and another one gone,” you hum, joining them.

“Another one bites the dust.”

[serialadoptersbracket]

Round 3, Match 31: Sojiro Sakura vs. Kurogane and Fai D’Flourite

Submitted kids:

Sojiro Sakura: Futaba Sakura, Akira Kurusu/Ren Amamiya, and the rest of the phantom thieves tbh

Kurogane and Fai D’Flourite: Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo, Chun'yan, a bunch of one off characters, Sakura and Syaoran a second time (it makes sense in context)

Propaganda under the cut!

Sojiro Sakura:

1. “He's the Hierophant confidant which is already the dad arcana. He has one legitimately adopted daughter (Futaba) and then the moment he hears about a troubled teenager from a customer at his Café he's like "guess I have to take this guy in. Ugh what a pain. Of course I'm doing it." And then when said troubled teenager brings his loud friends over and then his artist friend who doesn't eat a lot and his polite nerd friend and his very polite socialite friend and his murderous bestie Sojiro acts like they're all pests and pretends they don't see him insisting on feeding them all and making them all coffee to taste and stocking up on soft drinks for the one who doesn't like coffee and refusing payment and setting them up with a campervan for their crime road trip and generally being a dad. "This is such a hassle" he says as a token protest as he packs them lunch boxes and threatens cops on their behalf”

2. “He was so cold to the mc in the beginning but really warmed up to him and even protected him from the police and the rest of the team”

3. “Futaba is his best friend's daughter, who he adopted after her mother was murdered by a government conspiracy. Akiren is a random kid who he agreed to take in after he was put on probation, who he lets live in the attic of his cafe. His entire character arc is learning to be a better dad to these wayward troubled children, and in the end, he actually cries when Akiren has to leave to go back to his parents.”

Kurogane and Fai D’Flourite:

1. “These fuckers can't help themself they're just 2 married husbands that adopt every child they see. kurogane starts out a power hungry ninja who gets sent away for killing too much and he drops that shit so quick the moment there is a child. He just starts watching out for the two kids in their group and being homoerotic with Fai. meanwhile Fai joins the group with a very specific agenda that's been like, his entire reason to live for centuries and he ends up deciding to give up on that to save his kids. he literally lets his eye get ripped out in an attempt to get syaoran back. like 90% of their conversations and bonding is about the kids and their wellbeing and both of them calling out the other for being cringe fail and accidentally adopting them while frantically denying they've done the same (then turning around and putting their coat around Sakura or Syaoran because they are getting cold). theyre just slow burn found familynur honour”

2. “#these two did not go through literal hell and back for each other and their found family to lose #traumatised magician/samurai soulmates sweep. please. #Kurogane and Shanks both lost an arm protecting someone in their found family”

3. “#i would say it actually doesn't make all that much sense in context but.”

[fan-goddess]

Authors Note: Happy 1k bestie! You deserve it! Tried to write this like you would in a Targaryen history book, and here’s the result. Went all out as only the best for you! Muah

Taglist: @humanpurposes, @valeskafics, @arcielee, @blue-serendipity,

Come and get some

Skinning the children for a war drum

Putting food on the table selling bombs and guns

It's quicker and easier to eat your young

Extracts from, The Tales From The Dance Of The Dragons:

‘After the Prince Aemond had murdered his nephew, the Prince Lucerys Velaryon, with his dragon Vhagar, the usurped Queen Rhaenyra went mad with grief over hearing the news of the death of her son. That night, and for many after, all that could be heard from her chambers by her handmaidens and guards alike, were cries of sadness and begs for the gods to be bring her son back to her into the safely of her arms.

Her husband however, the King Regent Daemon Targaryen, after hearing the words of his sons death, did not cry to mourn his niece-wife. Instead, he vowed a new retribution was to take place to honour Lucerys death.

As whilst the Prince Aemond had successfully enacted his vow for an eye for an eye, he had also unknowingly paved the way towards Daemons vow. His vow, for a son for a son.

Aemond Targaryens only son had not even passed his first name day. The babe was a quiet one, like his father had been, and had been named Maelos. Though whilst his father set his future in stone, the boy peacefully laid in his mother’s arms as she herself sat by the fire, both blissfully unaware of what the one-eyed prince had set in stone.‘

‘After Blood and Cheese had come for the young Maelos, the boys mother held her son in her arms and refused to let anyone but herself touch the body. “He’s my son!” She would yell, over and over when anyone got close enough.

The only person she allowed to touch the corpse in her arms was the prince Aemond, who by the end of the next moons turn, had somehow managed to persuade his lady-wife to release her grip and let their son be burned by the princes own dragon Vhagar for his funeral.

The prince and his wife never had more children after their sons murder. Even after being encouraged both by the Hand and the other maesters alike.

Even after the prince Aemond had been crowned as Prince Regent, and the efforts were tripled to convince his wife to give him a male heir, no child was ever birthed by the woman.

When asked one morn by an unknown handmaiden, supposedly she had whispered back to her, “If I was to bring forth a child now, it would be a swifter and easier death for them to be eaten for our dinner, then for me to let them be brought forth into this world…” as she looked into the fireplace she used to sit by holding her son as she sang to him.

It seems the princess was right in a way, as her husband died not long after she supposedly spoke those words. Overcome by the grief however, she allowed herself to fall from her tower and be impaled by the sharp spikes below.

The princess and Aemonds only remaining child, the princess Visenya, was a girl shy of her seventh name day when she lost her mother, and by the end of the day, she was all that was left of their shared blood. She grew to be as fierce as her father had been, never allowing any man diminish her fire.

The princess though was pardoned by her cousins, and soon after travelled to the north, where she married a lower lord who felt no issue in fanning her flames. She was supposedly called to be her name sake reborn, as not only did she birth only a single son, but she got all the north to fear her just as all had feared the original Visenya.

That single son, was named Aemond, to honour his grandsire. Though the bloodline of Aemond Targaryen and his lady wife blurs from there, as it’s unknown if their blood died out or whether it spread. We will never know.

[saintsenara]

Ok, you convinced me, Snapemort nation just stamped my passport and I am in. I am so compelled by Voldemort feeling this deep kinship with Snape - but after he kills Lily, can Snape ever reciprocate in any form? Also, good thing he set Nagini to eat Snape before he found out the truth, imagine the heartbreak, it would have killed Voldemort before Harry got there.

but consider...

snape's initial reason for defecting to the order - no matter what his motivation for working for dumbledore later evolves into - is because he believes voldemort has no intention of honouring his request for lily to be spared when he goes after harry.

how would he - king of working ceaselessly because of mingled guilt and love as he is - react when dumbledore casually, without knowing anything about the knife he's about to ram into snape's heart, lets slip that harry has only survived because voldemort did indeed ask lily to stand aside in an effort to do something nice for his man?

[that not murdering your only childhood friend is the bare minimum one should expect from one's boyfriend is by-the-by here...]

and if you're looking for a fic which explores this very question... you're in luck. lord voldemort your bestie, me, shall provide...

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

a list of things about this video that i love:

the chris and max height difference kills me

max just like... leaning towards chris

dennis specifically leaning down to talk into his microphone

okay listen. i know what happens with jonathan and sandra in ppgw. i know how it goes. but my god they are so cute here.

like the grinning and giggling??? and then the trying to be serious??? fuck they're genuinely so sweet (which will presumably make it even angstier when it falls apart. which i LOVE gimme all the angst)

francis is a lil bit sassy and i dig it

TREVOR HAVING HIS ARM AROUND ANNIE OH MY GODDD. THEY'RE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR FUCKKK I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

the way francis says "i am the narrator" reminds me of "script. supervisor." from the murder mystery episode of game changer.

max's snaps 🥺 precious baby

[eviltiddyproductions]

on most days of my life I absolutely hate and will complain to anyone who listens about dramas releasing weekly (because I am an impatient monster) except the day my show releases!

it’s my demon fridays besties !!!

love the fact that it’s a Friday Saturday release schedule so that I can cry a bit more for my Sunday sadness moments

the intro cut from yoojung’s eye to song kang is so beautiful actually

LMAOOO I forgot how during the weekly release pattern you sometimes lose the rhythm of the show for a second because Do Dohee going with the tv tropes classic ‘everyone I love is dead’ 😔😞😭 made me just bust out laughing 😭

and you’ll die because of me too! 😔

‘i don’t care’ 👿🤷‍♂️

two gorgeous people kissing

the droplets suspended in the air looks so beautiful

aww they look adorable! wet little puppies 😭

medical undressing but with actual dressing time 🩹

oh they’re making out again, that’s actually pretty realist for kdrama standards 😂

most of them go designated kiss over, back to talking; here they’re actually making out again, like normal people do

song kang has a heart warming smile

lmfaoooo we went from fun time to eerily creepy clock room

we’re back in their room and i adore them !!!

my man went from ‘humans suck! losers!!! boooo 🍅🍅🍅 to they’re not that bad actually, love is kinda cool and i sorta get them and while we’re at it can i get a couples set dinner with my wife?!’

and let me just couple bike with my wife as well!

i will always be a sucker for anyone who’s down for cheesy things! #mypeople

wait woah my sister was going that in heels !!!

this fuckass quality…. giphy you will crumble !!!

they’re actually truly having the world’s most loveliest date. just having fun and taking walks and admiring the breeze !

same sister, if I saw someone that beautiful irl I’d also thank them 😭 [context : guwon says thankyou to the barista for his couple coffee set and she’s like no thank you 😻]

him saying do dohee always takes me out

they’re so cute y’all, they’re slow dancing

i’d be kinda surprised if there’s no criminal from the eldest son’s family like they rank a little higher on the possible murderer scale for me than everyone else. seems misleading rn because all shows tend to do this but y’all need to be in checked 😭

my short term memory is memorying because I was wondering why he was following her into her office and then remembered he’s her bodyguard 💀

I mean she didn’t have to give up everything but if it makes her happy!

two gorgeous people in one frame!

y’all are not subtle at allll with the wrist thing at all 😭 how many times has the seokhoon seen it already?

I adore the wolf gang lmaooo

lmaoooo they’re so dramatic, I love them!

the beautiful theatre dancer has a point and doesn’t have a point at the same time 😭 jin gayeong you’re beautiful, go live your life !!!

my sister said one shot while all she poured miss shin was foam 😭

miss shin I <3 u

doo hee the nut job 💀

lmaooo did he rush to her because he was happy to be called husband lmao, my man looks shook seeing them drunk 😂

he said my wife is embarrassing let me take her home and then she called him a blinding sun and he just glowed (he’s just like me fr)

all of the happiness and love he was uncomfortably bottling up inside in denial is coming out right now and I love it.

she could ask him for a toothbrush and he’d give her a loving smile and do it

cuties

poor boggy I omg 😭

your honour, this demon is whipped !!! 😭💞

the bag on his neck lol

it has taken me over an hour atp to finish this episode lmao maybe I could’ve written this later

miss shin is a mood

my wolf gang is back

the dad’s just laughing after choking someone ? 😭 this family…

it’s always fun to watch the murderers be hunted 🤷‍♂️

oh he killed his mom too, he was my first guess but the son was a strong case too

this cartoon villain ass laugh

my married lovebirds have a pretty strong knit game like his cardigan rn and hers during the sprinkler kiss scene

slay you found the bug

the wife seems normalish compared to her son and husband

damn did they vanish because of the card thing

woah

him knocking at the cardboard door 😭

did they fumble the continuity or something changed when they were walking at the bar because our homeless mystery queen’s teeth are back to normal rn

is she god

need that snapping finger power so bad like I also want a galaxy in my room thankyou

butterflies just follow song kang in tv shows

the second male lead kinda needs to let it go, bae it’s not that serious

why would the theatre girlie just tell that to him flat out 😭

honeymoon period over

[h3lfaerie]

Anon is back and after 3 weeks of determined search I have come to one conclusion so far. A *draugr*. Ofcourse this is not my final answer since I find it missing significant details and attributes mentioned in the book HOWEVER I figured it came a bit close considering it:

• Eats innards or well flesh in general ig(from what I've seen from my research)

• Has power to shapeshift/increase its size (I suppose that also means with shape-shifting comes immense strength)

• And finally the fact that they are said to usually be souls that had 'died' but remained 'living' to wreak havoc on those who wronged them in their past life and it got me thinking on how many dragon trappers hiccup might have killed and the fact that one or a few of them might have come back to watch him drown in misery makes me smile for some reason.

However I doubt this alot because of the fact that draugrs don't have claws and even if they can 'shapshift'all the dots still do not connect therefore I am putting it number 1 on my SUSPECT list. As the fic progresses anon will be actively hunting for more clues so I may crack the murder mystery of poor kingstail may he rest in peace.

Even though I am wrong I do still thank thee for pushing me and allowing me to discover even more norse entities. It was quite a treat. On that note I bid you good day fae and a blessed amount of inspiration to continue writing this beautiful book.

With gratitude,

Anon🕵🏾‍♀️

This is absolutely stunning.

The amount of effort and care and digging you must have done is beautiful as all get out. Arguably research might be my favourite thing to do while writing so this is not only immensely flattering to me, that you have put so much time and effort into presenting such a badass theory, but the fact that you went into such details... Bestie, I learned something from your post about Draugr.

I genuinely wish I could discuss more at this stage, because I am ridiculously impressed with your sleuthing Anon❤️, but as you may know I can't confirm nor deny these allegations 🤭

I spared no expense on my lawyer I'm afraid.

"Poor lizard did it 'imself, or 'tis indeed a Deathsong, Your Honour. My client is innocent!"

I really hope more people get to see this theory, because it is so well thought out. Discussions like this are what really makes a cohesive community and I truly couldn't ask for more.

So, this is very much a "HEY LOOK WHAT THIS AWESOME PERSON DID" kinda post/reply.

Thank you, Anon. I greatly appreciate this. And I know I say this every post but I can't say it enough. Especially when I've been struggling with personal matters lately, it's been preventing me from writing as often. But when you guys engage like this, it is shoring me up like nothing else could.

[permanentreverie]

Heyyyyyy bestie!

Occasionally, I have the desire to pop onto Tumblr and attempt to relight the candle within me that still loves this hellsite and longs to return, and apparently this is one of those times. So tonight, I decided to come into your inbox and ask you a random question like old times,,,,, pray to god the ask doesn’t get eaten by the tumblr gods, depraved though the may be,,,,, anyway, here’s a thought, perhaps inspired by my impending SKZ concert (still screaming, crying, throwing up, wanting to eat glass, and commit murder over such a statement. Can you BELIEVE it’s actually gonna happen!!!! This isn’t just the fangirl pipe dream it usually is!!!!):

If you could attend any concert (past, present; not even currently in the works, outside of the majesty of your imagination), what would it be?? But like,,,, top 5 concerts because I know you have too much love in your heart to ever possibly choose just one <3

Also, I’m still exploring ATEEZ but I think it vital you know that I was seriously considering just making hongjoong my bias today and sticking by it, and then I found out,,,,,, he’s the shortest member of ATEEZ,,,,,, it was a joke I love my short kings, but idk how much of a joke it truly IS, anymore. I can’t deny the facts that beyond Namjoon, all my biases are the short ones,,,,,,,

Oh, lol, I forgot to share at least some of my ideal concerts:

Bastille for All This Bad Blood and/or Doom Days

5SOS for Youngblood and/or CALM

BTS for literally anything ever (they could make music with those free sound effects you can use for video editing and I would eat it up 😤😤)

Coldplay for Viva La Vida or Death and All of His Friends

Dvicio for literally any album/era post 2016. (I just haven’t given Justo Ahora enough plays to really get into it the way I currently get down to Impulso, Qué Tienes Tú, and EL LABERINTO)

Special shout out to Hozier, Depeche Mode, The Rose, Backstreet Boys, Billy Joel, Panic! At The Disco, and ONEUS <3. They would also be a dream, but I gotta prioritize at some point, and I might as well mention the less attainable concerts first 😭 rip to my favorite eras of these bands and/or the fact that they’ll never tour by me (dvicio come closer than Mexico City challenge,,,,, it’s hard enough to convince me to cross state lines,,,,)

ma'am I am blessing you kissing you tenderly for sending me this, I have been pondering this these past few days and I'm honestly just getting salty that no artist wants to come to Canada, let alone my province rip. Without further ado, here are my Top 5 Concerts:

BTS (I would agree I would literally not care whatever era, for whatever setlist, but if I have to be 100% honest I'd kill to go to their Love Yourself tour, every fancam I've seen, every performance we've gotten filmed, I NEED!)

Taylor Swift - Eras Tour (there still might be a chance for me to attend. Please miss blondie release the international dates I will commit crime to get hands on tickets)

Agust D (can you believe Yoongi is going on a world tour and going to like 10 countries. Askjfs I get it with his enlistment and all and we're for sure getting concert clips but I WANT TO BE IN THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENS!!! Plus I'm 90% we're gonna get Tony Montana with Jimin and I would and will go insane when that happens)

Seventeen - Be The Sun Tour (I got legit post concert depression when this ended and I didn't even attend

Twenty One Pilots - The Bandito Tour (bruh I sooo should have caved and got tickets back in 2018. Every single time I listen to Trench - one of my favourite albums of all time - I constantly think of how amazing it would be to hear live. and then I die a little inside knowing I'll never get the chance)

honourable mentions are: Coldplay, Conan Gray, the 1975, Arctic Monkeys, ONE OK ROCK, Nothing But Thieves, Hozier, NF (again), Stray Kids, The Rose, Bastille, The Weeknd, 5SOS, Chase Atlantic, Panic! At The Disco

[vibin-in-the-void]

I love the enter button it's so nice. also the tab button. they're besties your honour. HONOUR!!!!!!!! they're so useful hewb you know how to use the n, like you can ioeb fuked using th enter ket in the files thingy. I also love task manager its so fun, MURDER THE PROGRAMS THAT ARE NOT RESPONDING YEEEEEEEESSS MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

anyways yep tab and enter enter and tab they are very nice

I barely use my mouse or touchpad bc I can use the entetr key and tab ket yo uo move arounf the cereeen

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

I saw your oc fact swap reblog so I'm here to share!! This will technically be two ocs

They are lesbian warriors named Lila and Catnis, Lila is a big buff woman who is an absolute sweetheart at around 6'9", Catnis is small(er) and petite at around 5'5" who is always ready to murder somebody, but yknow they love each other very much

They also have red/blue colour dynamic going on, it's great I love them, constantly rotating them in my brain

!!! i get TWO!!!! okok aaaaaAa they sound so. so lovely. if you like, gimme drawing specs i would be honoured to draw the lesbians because. i love lesbians lesbians are the best and warriors too!!!!? ncndmdkdkdk passing away please do send more asks my dear anon

RIGHT! i was supposed to say some oc facts too. well, i guess if we’re doing duos i should mention noir and selina. noir is rouge’s nephew/nibling who is too loud and full of himself to succeed at being a spy; his wings are all tattered but he doesn’t amputate them because of the “grunge gothic city vibes” aka he likes how they look. selina is a result of the paradox caused by sonic 06 and the personified flame of soleanna (since solaris never happened but remnants of mephiles survived… therefore the flame and iblis-ifrit did too!) she’s all the worst fashion from y2k red carpet flops but is too adorable and optimistic to be hated for it! they’re genderfluid besties with a knack for dumb shenanigans aka the gay agenda

[um-weird-flex-but-ok]

Viserys just trying to enjoy his dinner after finally convincing his daughter to marry: …

Daemon: shit sorry forgot I was exiled. I must have forgot while murdering my wife. Alas I must fuck your daughter in the middle of her wedding feast where everyone can see us

Laena: Daemon may be a red flag but I’m colour blind and I’ll ride that dragon like he’s Vhagar

Alicent: ✨dramatic entrance✨I declare war. Also Rhaenyra’s a SLUT! That I’m totally not in love with this is a normal reaction to your former homoerotic bestie fucking her kings guard

Sir Criston: IM A DIRTY WHORE! FUCK GAY PEOPLE! HOMOSEXUALITY’S A SIN AND I AM GOD. Alright cool if you don’t mind imma go kill myself

Harwin: RHAENYRA! *punches his way through a brawl* I hear you have an opening for your personal whore and I must say I would be honoured

Rhaenyra: Uncle Daemon wouldn’t it be so hot if you murdered everyone in this room and then fucked me on top their corpses. I’d marry you if you did that

Viserys:

[artemisia-black]

Sirius Black is emotionally and academically intelligent

To celebrate the start of Scorpio season and in honour of our bestie, I have planned 3 metas about what I think are common misconceptions around his character. And here is number 2.

A common mischaracterisation of him is that he’s not very clever and when at school he needs to copy homework from other people.

1.0 Sirius at school

When recounting Sirius’s school days, several characters mention how clever/brilliant he was. In particular, queen Mcgonagall says:

‘ Precisely,” said Professor McGonagall. “Black and Potter. Ringleaders of their little gang. Both very bright, of course — exceptionally bright, in fact.’ PoA

McGonagall never gives praise lightly and in fact at this moment she thinks Sirius is a mass murderer. Even when she appears to be fond of a student, she’s very realistic about their academic ability and in HBP she says the following to Neville,

‘“But the problem is Transfiguration. I’m sorry, Longbottom, but an Acceptable’ really isn’t good enough to continue to N.E.W.T level. I just don’t think you’d be able to cope with the coursework.” HBP

So calling Sirius and James, ‘exceptionally bright,' is not Hyperbole.

Furthermore, during the fire-call Remus says,

“Look, Harry, what you’ve got to understand is that your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did — everyone thought they were the height of cool — if they sometimes got a bit carried away . ” OoTP

Yes Remus is a biased source, but it can be strongly inferred that Sirius was indeed a very high-achieving student, even if his behavioural record had much to be desired.

Also quick note- these dorks enjoyed amateur cartography ‘height of cool,’ is a little strong.

2.0 Sirius is arrogant about his intellect

This view of his intellect is also held by Sirius himself and this is demonstrated by several things during Snape’s Worst Memory:

He’s long finished his OWL exam and is just sitting there looking hot.

“Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake,” he heard Sirius say. “I’ll be surprised if I don’t get Outstanding on it at least.” - homeboy is so confident that he thinks the exam board might make a new grade for him

He doesn’t need to read the transfiguration book, not because he’s barely literature and only cares about his hair, but because,

“I don’t need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.”

Indeed, Sirius is so sure of his own intelligence that he attempts to outsmart Voldemort and James trusts him to do that. I know some of this trust is rooted in their bond as brothers, but James must have had to greatly respect Sirius’s intelligence to risk the lives of his wife and child.

3.0 Sirius Post-Azkaban

Sirius is still very clever, despite having been in prison for 12 years and being in various states of starvation and mental ill health:

In PoA He conjures manacles with another wizard’s wand, despite being 13 years out of practice.

In GoF he immediately recognises that Harry’s scar hurting is a bad sign,

‘ I’m flying north immediately. This news about your scar is the latest in a series of strange rumors that have reached me here. If it hurts again.’ GoF (this quote also ties in with my previous meta about him being a mature guardian).

He remembers how to deal with dragons, despite having probably not opened a book during his 12 years in Azkaban and one year living rough,

‘I was going to suggest a Conjunctivitis Curse, as a dragon’s eyes are its weakest point.’ GoF

He pieces the majority of the plot together, while half-starved in a cave and scrounging newspapers. Indeed, he is frustrated at himself for not being able to fully figure it out:

‘Sirius stared at the cave wall, then made a grimace of frustration.’ GoF

He understands Priori Incantatem immediately,

‘.....The Reverse Spell effect?” said Sirius sharply.’ GoF

In OoTP he studies his hand with interest (which is a nice nod to his curiosity) when he gets bitten by something and immediately fixes it,

‘ Sirius sustained a bad bite from a silver snuffbox; within seconds, his bitten hand had developed an unpleasant crusty covering like a tough brown glove.

“It’s okay,” he said, examining the hand with interest before tapping it lightly with his wand and restoring its skin to normal, “must be Wartcap powder in there.' OoTP

He heals the injury that Kreacher inflicts on Buckbeak

Despite being 13-14 years out of practice, he easily matches with some of the ‘best’ death eaters,

‘Now Sirius and Dolohov were dueling, their wands flashing like swords, sparks flying from their wand tips. ’ OoTP

Dumbledore describes him as,

' A brave, energetic and clever man.’

4.0 Sirius is also emotionally intelligent

Sirius understands emotions and is able to verbalise them. One of the key scenes that demonstrate both his emotional and intellectual intelligence, is the scene in the Shrieking shack where he is describing how he survived Azkaban,

‘ I don’t know how I did it,” he said slowly. “I think the only reason I never lost my mind is that I knew I was innocent. That wasn’t a happy thought, so the dementors couldn’t suck it out of me’

In this quote, he is demonstrating an understanding of the nuances of his emotions. Because yes he is innocent, but it’s not a happy thought because James, Lilly and 12 muggles are dead. So he understands that it’s not a thought that can bring him joy or hope, but a thought that has enough nuance to also not be bad.

' so when it all became . . . too much ... I could transform in my cell . . . become a dog.’

In this quote, he’s showing awareness of his mental limits and he also shows this during OoTP when he withdraws during his more intense periods.

‘ Dementors can’t see, you know. ...” He swallowed. “They feel their way toward people by feeding off their emotions. ... ‘

Here he is showing his intellect and how well he understands how Dementors work. And both types of intelligent merge in the next part of the quote,

‘ They could tell that my feelings were less — less human, less complex when I was a dog.’

He clearly understands the nuance and degrees of feelings and how some feelings are more surface level whereas others have caveats.

During the rest of the series, he shows his emotional intelligence in numerous ways,

By providing Harry the Hogsmeade slip and allowing Harry to feel like a normal child who has a guardian who cares for him.

During GoF, he allows Harry to talk despite having broken into a house and needing to talk to Harry about the task,

‘ I’m — ” For a second, Harry tried to say “fine” — but he couldn’t do it. Before he could stop himself, he was talking more than he’d talked in days. ’ GoF

And to be a good listener, you have to be emotionally intelligent.

3. He sends Harry a muddy pawprint as a good luck gift for the last task as he understands that Harry appreciates knowing that he’s thinking of him.

4.On the dark side of this, he’s able to deliver such cutting insults because he understands people so well. This is demonstrated by IMO is the only time he’s a bad godfather and I will never defend him for this,

‘You’re less like your father than I thought,’ He said finally, a definite coolness in his voice. ‘ The risk would’ve been what made it fun for James.’ OoTP

Here Sirius is demonstrating his understanding of how much Harry’s masculinity is rooted in his idealisation of James, so he goes for it.

In conclusion, Sirius Black is cannonically very emotionally and intellectually intelligent.

Note: I am happy to have a debate about this, but any ranting/abuse will be ignored :D

[ithinkhobiknows]

Top 5 Jake in love with Amy moments and Top 5 Amy in love with Jake moments

BESTIE THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG POST

TOP 5 JAKE IN LOVE WITH AMY MOMENTS (not in order)

THE FUNERAL: this is sort of obvious, Jake was ready to give up his job just so he can be with Amy even though they had been in a relationship for 6 days??? he was definitely in love with her and just wanted to be with her

CHASING AMY: this entire episode he was such a supportive boyfriend,him setting up practice tests for her,remembering all the little things about her, the callback to the bet episode where we find out that Jake has been in love with her since the the bet ep, Jake saying that she can't be afraid of being successful because she's too good for that??? Amazing. Spectacular. So in love with his Ames.

THE FUGITIVE PART 1 : the line "your happiness is way more important to me than winning some stupid bet" just shows how much he cares/loves about her

Also the fact that he started reading Harry Potter only because Amy liked them so much is also just amazing.

TRYING: "Amy we are a family, you and me" NEED I SAY MORE HE IS SO IN LOVE

HALLOVEEN: this is also pretty obvious. The only thing that kept him sane through his prison experience was planning for the heist which we know is a proposal to Amy! The scene in locker room where Jake is handcuffed and Amy is going on about how she knows him so well that he has lost the ability to surprise her, then later on the in the episode he surprises her by proposing? Him admitting that she is the best detective? Even though we know from an episode in season 1 (Operation: Broken Feather) he has always considered Amy as the better detective!!! Kudos to the writers for giving us such a perfect episode.

+ special mentions

MAXIMUM SECURITY: I'm sorry his line, "I'm the one that's not tough enough to be in here watching the woman I love,unarmed,locked up with all these murderers, it's just too much for me" yeah. YEAH. Jake peralta did that. I loved the fact that Jake didn't make Amy take herself off the case but he took himself out of the situation as he was the one who was not able to handle seeing her in danger.

HE SAID,SHE SAID: this episode though. Jake learning that Amy's previous captain thought he deserved something after he helped her become a detective? His reactions in the scene were so good, I could feel the anger, pain, sadness radiating off of him through the screen. Him watching a netflix documentary on feminism? YES PLS.

ALSO THE FACT THAT HE JUST KNOWS WHATS THE RIGHT THING TO DO AFTER HE LOOKS AT HER FACE? EVERYTHING THAT SEEMED SO COMPLICATED BECOMES EASY?

TOP 5 AMY IN LOVE WITH JAKE MOMENTS:

GREG AND LARRY: Amy was spiraling the entire plane ride wondering if Jake is safe or not. Her worrying on what if she doesn't get to say I love you SO MUCH. she is very in love with him your honour.

THE CRUISE: Amy being the first one to say I love you? Amazing. Her helping Jake to try to catch Judy this entire episode, she could have just told Jake to ignore him but she knows how important this is to Jake so she helps him.

THE GOLDEN CHILD: the way she is so protective of him also the line "I spent my whole life trying to beat David at something,but when you were I'm danger, I just didn't care anymore. All I wanted was for you to be ok" she loves him so much :)

HONEYMOON: how she stood up against Holt when he called Jake selfish? Season 1 Amy could never. Jake being like I don't wanna get mad right now because he knows Amy is worried about Holt bUT then Amy is like screw that. So yeah a top tier moment.

THE BET: I know this was the episode where Jake fell in love with Amy but I think this episode also showed us just how much she knows,cares,respects Jake. Also the look she has on her face when she finds out Jake could have called for the night shift team to handle the stakeout and continue his plan of embarrassing her BUT HE DIDNT. So yes. She is very in love with him and she is also very in denial about it in this episode.

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT: the fact that she was willing to wait for like what 14 years??? The fact that she won't give up on him and would continue fighting against Lt. Hawkins. If that's not being in love with someone I don't know what is.

+ special mentions

SHE DOUBLE TUCKED FOR HIM

BOYLE-LINETTI WEDDING: she appreciated the fact that Jake was willing to help her out with her case even though he didn't need to. The look between Jake and Amy at the end of this episode was just a chef's kiss.

A MOMENT FOR BOTH JAKE AND AMY BEING IN LOVE WITH EACHOTHER:

THE LAST DAY PART 2: the fact that they are willing to do anything for each other. Them in the last two episodes hit different. You can see how much they have grown and made each other better over the years and yeah Jake willing to take a step back from work and being ready to take care of Mac so that Amy can achieve her dream? Amy saying that he doesn't have to do that cause she knows how much he loves his job,her always being surprised by how sure of everything he is? Little does she know it's because of her ;)

So yes, that concludes my rant about these two idiots being head over heels for each other.

[anixknowsnothin]

god reading this as well as the responses, reblogs and comments by the remaining of prison gang made me cry, I love you all so much <3

it's so crazy how time has passed by and how we've seen each other's different eras of the past year. we all just merged into one big messy blob of fandom and chaos!

I remember red's post was one of the very first posts I liked on Tumblr, of how Eliza should've sang "Should've Said No" and I was like OMG THIS GIRL IS SO COOL. I was honestly intimidated by her, it was like a Disney movie where she was the cool kid the weirdo looks up to. And now she's my fiancé and we're getting married 😭💍

poppy I found through the hamilton post, like she said above, and I don't really remember the details (let's research together on this poopy) Now she's my big sister and one of my number one supporters of all time

bel and M I found through poppy, and I was like OMG more swifties AND musical nerds??? Since both were crazy about TLM, I gave the movie a second try (originally I wasn't very fond of it because the old one forever lives in my heart) and I loved it!! (esp wild uncharted waters)

I love troubling Bel with her crazy love lore (let's call it that: the CLL) and her group of "besties." I think there should be another alpaca video made for this (for context: in honour of poppy and Lin's divorce party (we got them married btw), I made a video reenacting their story)

With M, she's so wise and crazy smart, with all things about her being so aesthetic. When I saw her eras tour outfit, I was in shock because of the amount of effort she put in it. She's also the best person to do friend quests with on Duolingo.

For Edith, I think she found me through a bunch of posts and then sent me an ask about crazy ex girlfriend (this im 110% sure about) WHICH I STILL NEED TO WATCH (edith this is your sign to fly over, kidnap me, hold me hostage and make me watch it)

And we all just started interacting and becoming mutuals through each other's posts. I think the discord server was the best addition (im so proud of bel for making it) and we all started clowning around. Then poppy with her weird ghost quartet quest had us come together even closer and now we're INSEPARABLE. I've had the honour of meeting mother (Edith) and I hope to meet the rest soon! I wear their friendship bracelets on a daily basis while still trying to make mine (CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY SHIPPED FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS FOR ME??) and they're now a huge part of my life I can't do without (for my birthday, my best friend reached out to them and got them to write clues for me which was so thoughtful and sweet so I have their handwriting preserved in a little pink pouch). We also have each other's Duolingo accounts which is VERY intimate if you ask me.

Lastly, about the name, I think I kept it because I like the idea of murdering people who've made these five slightly upset. And we joked about crimes and poppy holding us hostage during the quest, so we kept the name "prison gang"

To summarise in a few words: I love these five so fucking much and I couldn't be where I am without them.

how did the prison gang come to be a thing and what does the name mean?

STORYTIME!!!

ok, so for those who are confused, there's six of us in prison gang: me, @wagingmywarsbehindmyface, @mymuses-acquiredlikebruises, @noproof-youjustknow, @anixknowsnothin and @redwidow616.

if you were here last year, you probably know that my blog didn't look like it does now lmao. basically, bel and i, we were obsessing over totally different things - the little mermaid (2023) and hamilton, mostly (or should i say: jonah hauer king and lin manuel miranda?). anyway. this is a very important part of the story, because we've known each other for literal years and before that we were both posting mostly about taylor swift. and then everything has changed (pun intended) last spring/summer and this is exactly how the entire prison gang found each other on this hellsite.

i do not remember the exact time we've all started following each other but i do know anix found me because of some hamilton shitpost (or was it the other way around? i think maybe it was me who found HER hamilton post and reblogged it and then she followed and texted me? correct me if i'm wrong, i need to do some research). anyway. then red found me because of anix cause they already knew each other - both swifties and musical theatre nerds. just like me.

now i do remember that edith had swiftie url and i found out she's also into musical theatre some time later and we started interacting through the posts. i also remember she said my tags always make her laugh hehehe. and M, M definitely had url from the little mermaid (wild uncharted waters my fucking beloved) and so we started following each other because of this and then also found out she's into musical theatre (she told me that she absolutely adores my love for hamilton hehehe i was pretty loud about it back then) and also a swiftie. it's crazy when you think about it - we were basically all just one person.

and i am only speaking from my own experience because i do not know the exact moment they all followed each other - i only remember how and why i became mutuals with them.

and it was a few months later when i was talking to bel and we were like hey, it would be so fucking cool if tumblr had a group chat option... and then she came up with the idea of creating a discord server for our group. i know anix helped a lot because she's good at discord - i literally installed the app only because of those people. and we are still there, almost one year later. and it's our first anniversary soon!

about the name tho... anon, i'm sorry but i have absolutely no idea why we are called prison gang. we were probably talking about the possibility of murdering someone (we always have our knives ready) and ending up in prison together and someone (probably anix) just randomly said "prison gang" and we just adopted the name cause it was funny. anyway. i would die for this group it's not even funny.