#multiple thoughts in my head
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context: my main plan for 2024 in my journal was "figure out the future & what I'm going to do & where I'm going to live" thinking about summer maybe except last friday during a particularly bad work-related depressive episode I went, fuck it I'm leaving here and found a site and applied for cheap studios in cork and dublin basically in the middle of the night. when I got better I started wondering if I REALLY wanted to leave and may have acted too soon without thinking it through as usual but decided that, you know, what's meant to happen will happen.
then this morning when I was washing my breakfast dishes I dropped a bowl on top of my favourite (and very durable) glass and the glass just snapped in half. at first I was upset but then I laughed thinking, guess this means everything is going to work out and I'm moving out, thanks!! and when I got back from work I found out that not only did I get a place in dublin but my top pick at that. I cannot believe this. the fucking glass. and it was actually still stable so I glued it back together to use for a plant or something. I fixed it. I wonder what it means. anyway. looks like things will work out after all
(it's got a dragon and that's why it's my favourite. out of two. the other one I just use for measuring rice.)
#personal#sofi.txt#text#multiple thoughts in my head#if superstition then why does it work?#the funniest thing is that i overthink tiny things but make big life changing decisions on impulse but somehow they're right#it was so random too because the cork apartment (which i wanted but got declined) was available since may so that's the date i applied for#even with the others#so i'm left with may but 4 months is the perfect amount of time to find a job and still save enough money here to make the move ok#the place is basically a shed in a lady's garden the size of my current living room but it's extremely cool and has everything one needs#and more than i have here in some cases. a DESK#it doesn't look unlike my childhood dream home tbh#and. thinking of palestinians living in tents who don't even have the one room and how lucky i am to be able to have that#or leave this small town willingly for the sake of my own wellbeing and go elsewhere just like this & safe 😭#dublin has all the major events though and i feel like i can do more there and actually join ipsc (
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my attempt at making a fursona
#i never see any mole furries so i thought id try my hand at it ^_^#i was hungry making this and was thinking of dirt cup pudding so its partly inspired by that and mario grass blocks#i dont draw furries very often so this was a fun learning experience lol. also!! star nose moles are kinda cute!!!!#when i was coming up with a name my mind kept going back to that tiktok of dogs and the tts voice saying stuff like i like mulch#mulch is my favorite food! yippee mulch!! so if youre wondering where i got the name theres the lore for it#i also wanna make a sea otter fursona.. and perhaps a snowshoe hare or other winter animal. oh or a barn owl!!#im trying to free my mind when it comes to making multiple sonas bc im still trying to wrap my head around it#ive always kinda seen myself as my persona but i want to try and be silly with it. actually while i was making this i was a little doubtful#to call it my fursona bc it doesnt look like me but a little voice inside my head was like well. youre not a 5 foot tall talking mole eithe#so you might as well. and i was thinking abt ppl with their dragon wolves with wings and i was like wow.. youre right... i can do what i#want forever. and brother that shit was enlightening it was like my third eye opened when i realized that#my art#myart#my oc#oc#fursona#mulch#furry art#sfw furry#character design#oc ref sheet#reference sheet
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So.
Act 5, huh?
Oh, and that.
"You can start breakdown now."
Finished the game couple of days ago and had some thoughts I needed to process a little. Like. Yes.
So anyway I actually didn't plan this and just wanted to redraw some sprites to just make sure I understand how to draw Siffrin correctly (still working on that!)
What did I learn from this? How fun it it to draw on a canvas that literally doesn't let you draw with colors without some layer cheating when necessary. Never tried it.
The beans. Sleeping beans.
Basically what happens when you want to sleep AND draw. Draw characters sleeping on your behalf.
Doesn't help, but at least it's cute.
I have no idea what was going on in my mind as I drew this. Feels like a fever dream of 'I want to sleep' at 4 am and 'Hm...' of thinking random things
Also that phone craft sign. Still too funny to imagine. I had to.
#fanart#sketch#my art#isat spoilers#isat#siffrin#siffrin isat#isat loop#in stars and time#I also tried to draw the Party too! But that one sketch is too rough yet!#And I'll probably never post it it was fun to draw them tho#Anyway I had /thoughts/ playing Act 5#Not great ones too! I would rather they stayed where I would never even know they exist#But I had to while playing so I did#So it took some time to just sit with everything also I spend a lot of time just doing achievements#One left! The annoying one.#NG+ is fun too#I'm still surprised by how much I enjoyed it#Like 'staying until 6 am playing 10 hours straight' kind of enjoyed#From 'hm I wonder what's it about' to 'yeah I cried multiple times so I think it's allowed to live in my head too'#I got sick multiple times on related and unrelated reasons while playing and planning to play that wasn't fun#Anyway it's cool have some sketches because I couldn't stop drawing last night#I love drawing characters being emotionally in pain but that requires specific mood and music to go with#And not overdoing it#Like when drawing first one 'Aishite' was on loop the whole time#It's b&w too! Red layers are added with 'paste' magic love that
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Literally rotating them in my head
#feel free to use these little guys got some alt versions under cut#in stars and time#isat fanart#isat siffrin#I hope this is as revolutionary to you as it is to me#I feel like it is appropriate that I stop during multiple points while making this and just stared at him spinning#no thoughts in my head
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Wiggly!Richie
In these trying times (me recovering my voice while studying for midterms), I have decided it was the best time to bust out my watercolors and do this
#I've seen multiple people in my circle of friends#and also many posts and stories about how Richie would be some kind of vessel for Wiggly#so I thought “Why not do my own interpretation for it?”#So instead of using coloring materials that I am familiar with#why not make everything difficult-#my art#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#npmd fanart#nerdy prudes fanart#richie lipschitz#richard lipschitz#wiggly#wiggog y'wrath#wiggog y'rath#I'll probably digitalize this sooner or later#and maybe make the whole gang /j#but in my head Richie would be more of a blinky vessel tbh
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totals ur drama
#shut up. dont say a word. total drama lives in my SOUL but that wasnt how this started.#so i talk abt it privately a bit but im currently Drowning in ideas. ive never had this happen before. i have a backlog of ~25 drawings#and then i thought 'oh maybe it WOULD be fun to build a silver rig! a simple one! like the chihiro DR rig i built!'#and then i SCREAMED INTO THE VOID because i do not have TIME!!!! even a SIMPLE RIG IS MINIMUM A FULL DAYS WORK#but does reason ever stop me??? NO. so i fuckign. DREW THIS AFTER TODAY'S BG SERIES WORK. YKNOW. JUST IN CASE#im smashing my head with ROCKS i am DERANGED. i am CURSED. i do not have TIME FOR THJIS. HES SO CYUTE#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#suntails#oh yea but also im obsessed with total drama and always have been and always will be and have watched the reboot seasons#multiple times each and i have them downloaded just in case and i read the tumblr webcomic total trauma and have for years and and and#gripping ur shoulders. leave. get out of here before i keep yapping
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The concept of Zero
Inspired by someone commenting that like the number zero, Vertin or the role of the timekeeper itself is a concept.
The concept of zero being that it is the placeholder for writing numbers, it is the origin but it is also the one that is merely a concept to get more of an understanding or guide to natural numbers to integers. It is the invisible line from the positive to negative, it is the middle ground.
The concept of zero in a more mathematical sense is that it is a additive to other numbers to make them bigger (ex:100) but the number zero itself is a non existent and empty number, like an equator, it is an imaginary line that helps us grasp the locations and placements of continents. Both are imaginary, both are just man made concepts to guide us to a better understanding.
Vertin's soul number is zero, she is unchanging and is considered one of the middle ground between humans and Arcanist. In a sense, she is a guide to most, but once the storm reaches its end, she will become nothing more than a concept, the role of the timekeeper was created for the very purpose of recording the beginning and ends of eras and braving the storm to one day create the immunity for it. The moment that there is no need for the timekeeper anymore, either the storm ending or finding a full reliable immunity towards it, the more people that gain the ability, the more Vertin's role becomes more of the ordinary.
The role of the timekeeper will soon fade and become only an invisible line, the origin of how it first began, on how civilization reached the immunity of the storm, and how the threat of the storm ended. In the far future where the rain doesn't rise, the term timekeeper and the name "Vertin" will be nothing more of a concept to what once was a catastrophic phenomena that hinder the progression of time, a subtle reminder of how she guided the freedom of humans and Arcanist out of the grueling storm, and into a world where the rain falls and the sun rises; Vertin is the concept of zero.
#reverse 1999#vertin#reverse1999#character study(i think-)#that comment has been stuck on my head for days now and i needed to write my incomprehensible thoughts about it#literally wrote this during my exam#math is not my strong suit#(also sorry for being gone for awhile-)#(school lmao and also writing block)#to be the origin and middle ground#to be the guide to people on understanding and grasping the unknown#to only be unchanging and invisible#to only be a concept in the end of it all#aughhh its just so- Vertin the character that you are#(i went off track multiple times but hey-)
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people with loud, forceful, productive sneezes who still need to sneeze in multiples must be out to kill me!
#Idk why but in my head their nose must be hella irritated to STILL have to sneeze after such an intense forceful process#And itchy irritated noses are the hottest thing on earth#I also enjoy how much effort the sneezes going to to expel the irritant#Their poor nose trapped in tortured tickles despite valiant efforts#Ugghhhhhhh#snz thoughts#snz kink#snzblr#snzfucker#All multiple sneezers are bloody sexy though#I’ll do a post about the other kinds#All in due time
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litany of the martyrs (click for better resolution!)
#at some point i wanted to make an illustration for each character but in retrospect maybe each is multiple song-coded..#drew the sketch for a quincy thing after a chat with a mutual reminded me this song existed dfsghjkl and then spent weeks rendering this#quincy cynthius martin#adamandi#i'm finally done with this! the saints especially were joys to paint and the halo a menace.... this has been the most ambitious one so far.#but it also took quite long because i only worked on it <engages with quincy> when mentally okay to deal with the themes. i'm not religious#but i do identify with the irrational(?ish) guilt + family legacy + academic achievement + disregard for self. also more complex thoughts#about love [but depsite quincent being a large part of quincy's character this piece deals with mostly the Rest of it. so another time..]#anyways! in the original sketch- the saints had heads bent towards quincy so the halo spikes pointed at him. but this worked better! halos#of the saints implying/creating one for quincy was a concept from the start though. in the show they don't touch him directly here but#differences in mediums i think- i don't have time in an image to craft a narrative so everything has to be happening. also artistic liberty#misc inspiration for this includes stained glass windows. i might have maybe misinterpreted the saint costume but i think i logic-ed it out#as the cloth part following a nun's habit w the hood. and then halo above. the material is also more transparent originally but i had. um.#too much fun painting fabric folds.. if you look closely you can see the basis of faces though behind the cloth; but only the vague shapes#because smth obscurity + inhumanness// cassian is the only one i gave a mouth though. that stems from melliot's post about the saints and#st cassian as spokesperson (<- did research teehee!) that's also how i found out which costume = which saint. speaking of which.#left to right: 'st lucy take my hand' // 'st lawrence give me strength' (presses quincy forward; but hand on shoulder connotates guidance)#/'st cassian help me smile' (quincy's mouth is btwn a grimace and a smile; tilts up at side. also no direct touch bc added insidiousness.)#//'st jude [...] i hope your causes burn' (jude's hand is in two places to show movement- nearing the flame and then snatching back; burnt)#other notes: at the midst of the flame the core is shaped like a human heart /the saints and their wax are all melting like the candle for#fun visual effect and also this way they are even less tangible <real>. perks of painting as a medium i guess. // also insp from icarus?#wax and burning imagery; looking at the halo and rays as parallel to sun that burns. too close to the sun; melting; hurting; hurtling //#candles at bottom are a nod to the frankly gorgeous set// also the entire composition kind of stems from the lyric <what use is a candle if#both ends aren't burning>; the two sides between the concepts of catholic guilt and academic perfection that spur quincy#the halo above (saints and guilt; litanyofthemartyrs) and the 'halo' below (academic papers; insp from choreo for perfect at school)#the papers were originally supposed to be more glowy. but i like the idea of it now being a reflection of how quincy's priorities shift#also of note is that <candle> in centre = quincy; w burning candle + aforementioned heart in flame -> most human; idea of love + passion#last thoughts: kneeling + hands close tgt = prayer //wax dripping onto the red As make an effect that looks like blood. because i like#hiding that within the adamandi pieces :OO continuity!! // i've run out of tags but yeah! had fun with this one! every so often i go a#little insane in making art and the final result astounds even me. ngl i'm quite proud of this one. pretty colours <3333
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What do you think is the most character accurate fic you've ever read??
Ever read? That's an impossible question lmao. I have been reading fanfics since i was twelve. I have read fanfics I don't even remember 🫡
Obviously it's a subjective question to begin with but part of the fun of fanfic to me is exploring different avenues for characters according to different author's preferences and putting blorbos into incredibly un-canon Situations. But in a lot of those settings what is "in-character" is even more thrown asunder because it's so far removed from anything that would even remotely happen in canon.
I guess what I mean by that is a lot of the fics I read and love don't necessarily align with my personal ideas of/headcanons for a character, yet still remain "character accurate" in my esteem, if you will (I'm thinking, for example, of that one Gay!Roy fic which is EXCELLENT and incredibly in-character imo and yet I still don't personally think Roy The Character is gay. But even though that's generally not how I think of his sexuality I still liked exploring that alternative verse and still recognized that story's Roy as Roy. Does that make sense?)
ANYWAY. going to veer off the specific question and instead just list some miscellaneous recent(ish) favs (or at least ones I think were published after I made my last rec list):
Paperwork by @pghumfort (Roy/Jamie)
Tits Out! also by @pghumfort (Jamie/Keeley)
if anything could fall (it's the world that falls away from me) by scarlettroses (Roy/Jamie)
i came prepared for absolution (if you'd only ask) by scarlettroses (pre-relationship Roy/Jamie); I've definitely recommended this one before but it's SO good on character exploration, especially for Roy. really really complex and meaningful look into his brain. I love it.
I should know (what turns you on) by Dancey96 (Roy/Jamie/Keeley)
It's Fine With Me (if you wanna stay the night) by @shortcuts-make-long-delays (pre-relationship Roy/Jamie/Keeley)
screaming crying throwing up by @morethanslightly (Roy/Jamie/Keeley)
that four letter word by @izzyspussy (Roy/Jamie)
5 Times Phoebe Meddled in Uncle Roy's Love Life... by darkesky
An Invitation by Laurasaurus (Roy/Jamie, Roy/Jamie/Keeley, Roy/Keeley)
Not exactly Cyrano by @destinationtoast (Roy/Jamie/Keeley); I may have recommended this before but now it's finished!! go back and re-read it if you haven't finished it yet...it's so worth it!
Also the Gay Roy one I referenced earlier is so afraid that time will take it all from me by LikeAMovieIOnceSaw. Really such a lovely fic 💕
as always please read the tags and story descriptions and ratings before diving in to make sure they are right for you and your needs etc.
#royjamie#royjamiekeeley#jamiekeeley#ted lasso#fic recs#roy kent#jamie tartt#keeley jones#like. if we're being honest most post s3 r/j fics aren't perfectly in line with MY idea of 'in character' simply because keeley isn't there#in my personally decisive version of events she's literally never not going to be a major factor for both of them#similarly i read a roy/keeley fic that i enjoyed and thought was incredibly character accurate for them BUT jamie was written out entirely#which to me also felt very /out/ of character. like post s3 jamie is literally always a barrier to just rk getting back together IN MY HEAD#so its one of those multiple things can be true + different things can be true for different people + i acknowledge my own preferences#types of deals#but i do hope this helps nonetheless!
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Phoenix would definitely take her to the circus
#doctorsiren#ace attorney#trucy wright#max galactica#ace attorney fanart#art#digital art#my art#fanart#procreate#for some reason I had it in my head (before playing AA4) that Trucy had actual real magic#and that all the magic tricks the Gramarye Troupe did was actual magic#and that Trucy could float#(the floating thing was bc of multiple pieces of art I had seen including an official art thing??? I thought she could actually float???)#and so now I just believe that she has real magic because it’s better this way 😌#I had a thought and was gonna doodle this but I have low brainpower right now#but Trucy is very Frisk and Max is Mettaton#and then Beanix would be Sans#very silly :))#they also look like they would be getting tickets to the Barbie movie#ignore how low quality Tumblr forced the image to become 😭😭😭😭😭
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Oh but Ella’s mix of accents is fabulous. Most of the time she’s got this very feminine very stereotypically princessy transatlantic thing going on, like in an old disney movie, which then becomes more strongly American during step on your grave, more so when she speaks during the song, like the way she says oregano. It’s at this point that you see her personality be revealed as more vengeful and not accepting of the stepmother’s demands
And then she’s back to the perfect princessy voice until she’s speaking to Tadius and realises that she’s not alone in holding her vengeful desires. Like the way she says I wasn’t talking about the king. But it’s not a complete shift, Ella goes back to her voice, which is equally princessy and transatlantic when she returns from the dead to exact her revenge, but pitched down, showing how she’s now ready to be queen, incorporating the two previous ways of speaking. It’s really cool, and Bryce Charles did it amazingly
#cinderella's castle spoilers#cinderella's castle#I’ve rewatched the digital ticket multiple times now and this thought was really spinning around in my head#ella ashmore
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fake ep idea + doodles
#i was thinking abt how funny it would be if there was a shiftythrifting blog equivalent in lmk. and half the stuff on there is#submitted by wukong. so i thought a yard sale ep would be funny lol#basically the hoard becomes problem one way or another and wukong figures the best way to get rid of his junk is thru ebay#somehow ends up selling world ending artifacts to random megapolis citizens so mk mei and redson have to scramble to find em#purposely meant to mirror the weekly shenanigans s1-2 style eps that are really goofy (dumpling ep noodles ep etc)#but it gets darker and darker because MK is not fucking ok after that whole thing with the scroll and some unchecked identity crisis#for me id want him to kind of. freak tf out because they have to find MULTIPLE chaos inducing items that could end the world while trying t#be sillygoofy and funny about it. so hes trying to mask his panic with “ohhh guys its just like the good ol days ^_^ remember that ^_^”#ESPECIALLY after that whole thing with the ink scroll. also mei doesnt buy any of it and is worried for him the whole time#as for the B plot it could be monkey king also trying to be very relaxed abt selling 4000 years worth of stuff and tang getting all huffy#like “these are priceless artifacts that could help us learn so much about the past!! wtf man!!!”#and maybe it reveals smth like wukong not wanting to hold on anymore bc his past weighs him down. and theyre all reminders#i think azure mentioned that wukong is sentimental (idk if that was genuine or lying to mk) so that could be touched on to#so basically. the theme would be some sort of conversation abt nostalgia. i think. im not a writer so its very fuzzy in my head#if anyone wants to add on or include their own spin on it feel free. also included undercut redson as a treat somewhere in there#myart#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lmk red son#lmk mei#lmk MK#lmk xiaotian#lmk xiaojiao#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#doodles#lmk tang#lmk pigsy#lmk traffic light trio#yard sale ep
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remember that time phil was saying something about having small or weak arms and dan was like “you literally have big arms” or something. the first of many times phil would say he’s dainty and small and dan respond no you are huge we are the same size
#did i make this up in my head am i combining multiple situations? maybe i don’t remember well#also in the same family where dan was saying something something little and phil said ‘like me’ and dan said ‘no you’re huge’ but phil was#referring to the something something (i forget what it was) - also funny bc people thought dan was saying phil’s dick was huge and just#leaving that in some 2010s gaming channel video. no he was talking about phil being a tall lanky man
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August: Day 8
Adventures
Went to a thrift store and the library's used bookshop.
Bought a copy of Around the World in 80 Days that looks more readable than my current copy (so long as it's not an abridged children's edition). May make a new cover for it.
Bought a book about the basics of astronomy. If I'm going to write about an astronomer, I need to know a tiny bit, and this looks like it's written for idiots with short attention spans, so it'll be great for me.
Bought the coolest pop-up book I've ever seen. For a quarter. I'll have to show you guys pictures.
Treated myself to Youtube videos about Victorian literature. Indulged in a few Gutenberg downloads. Read the first chapter of Lady Audley's Secret and this may derail all my reading plans until I finish.
Accomplishments
Read a few chapters of Heretics. Am now halfway done.
Tire. Twice.
Signed up for a CPR refresher course
#adventures in august#the pop-up book is about prehistoric animals and it's so cool#a mammoth head comes straight out of the page#multiple huge dinosaurs#most of the pages have little flaps that unfold into mini popup books#that library book shop has the lowest prices of my usual haunts#but they usually jack up the price of anything cool#i fully expected to see this cost a minimum of five bucks#and while it was cool i couldn't justify that#so the .25 tag was shocking#thought i'd misread it#did they mean to print 2.50?#nope all it took was one measly quarter#i could lose that in a parking lot and not notice it#and i got this masterful piece of pop-up art#tbh i didn't want to make the bookstore today's adventure but this was so worth it#oh also the cpr course was a gift#i had just been thinking i was due for one#and was going to look one up yesterday and forgot#only to come into work and find out they're hosting one there#felt like god was looking out for me today
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Ah, it's time again for my perennial fight with myself about bubbles and hiccups.
Me: IT'S AN INHALATION! BUBBLES COMING OUT OF THE MOUTH MAKES NO SENSE! PHYSICS PHYSICS PHYSICS!
Also me: LALALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU BLABLBLBLBLBAAAAAAA!
Man. I wonder if normal people run into these kinds of issues with their sexual fantasies.
#hiccup kink#random kink thoughts#I bonk my head against this wall whenever I want to write about multiple characters into hiccups#“Well statistically speaking” “SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I HATE YOU!”
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