#muffin man dan

[lauvwar-r]

03 from the start ⸝⸝ graphic designer geppie

tw. . . minor mentions of blood

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!?!"

"name, please stop rolling on the floor. i think i just saw dan heng give you the stink eye-"

"YOU SAW THAT RIGHT? RIGHT?!?!?" you screamed, ignoring serval and continuing to rip your hair out like a mad man. you scanned over the text over and over — looking for something. there's no way you were seeing things, right? 'anything for you' what the hell does that mean? was he trying to kill you???

he didn't even say when to meet :(

"calm down, this is your chance babes! you and my brother — together. this is what you've been waiting for." she said while comforting your spiralling form.

"you right, you right..." you sigh, feeling your chest tighten with excitement. it's been a few years since you first started crushing on the blondie yet you couldn't help the tingly feeling you get when you think of him — the sort of feeling high-schoolers get when thinking about their first loves. a feeling that you cherish and stitch into every love song and guitar string you have.

because you were utterly entranced by the melody called 'gepard'.

a ping from your phone prevents you from daydreaming onwards. it's from him.

'you have no afternoon classes right? meet me at the library today — i have your favourite :)'

"is that blood on your nails-"

"sorry bestie, gotta go!" you hastily respond, grabbing your bag with a ditzy grin and flushed cheeks, "my snuggle muffin calls. bye!"

there's a lound slam of the door andddd — you're gone.

"i think i need financial compensation for those ugly nicknames..."

"me too."

"dan heng?!?! you're still here?!!?!"

MASTERLIST ⸝⸝ previous! ⸝⸝ next!

𑁤 sypnosis. despite claiming to be 'rizz master 3000' name has failed to ask out their crush and childhood best friend, gepard, for a few years (L). with this new wave of courage, will this lovestruck idiot be able to confess before gepard buys a house and adopts 3 cats and a bunny with someone else? (this is a joke. geppie will not be adopting 3 cats and a bunny).

notes. . . neuvillette is so 🥵😻😭💔 and i haven't even gotten to the fontaine archon quest yet 💔💔 (while im writing this at least) and if anyone makes a shawtys like a melody joke i swearrr 😭 (edit: ain't no fucking way i spelt belobog wrong everyone dni)

. . .tags @520cafe, @kitsuxiv, @91ed0,

[reckless-avacado]

AGGGTM TV SHOW SPOILERS AHEAD!

um hi. I just watched agggtm the tv series and I have a bone to pick with everything.

THis is ur warning if u havent watched the show Bye.

Don't get me wrong, ive read the books and i LOVED them but this tv show did not do them justice, it changed sooooo many details that didnt need to be changed and left out a lot of stuff, leaving them with no set up for season 2. Good Girl Bad Blood. I will now rant.

Ravi - No hate to the actor that played Ravi but he sucked. The line delivery on so many things was severly lacking. They also made him miss out on an iconic line "Real men wear floral when trespassing". In the show they made it so Ravi didn't rlly help Pip at all. He was simply there for Pip to tell her theories and information to.

Stanley - Stanley was just non-existent. he just wasnt there. This leaves no set up for season two. Bad choice on behalf of someone

Becca Bell - It may have just been me who thought of Becca as this frail 20 year old who was still grieving. But that wasn't represented in the show. They made Becca straight up find Pip and get angry at her instead of Pip just finding her in a cafe or whatever and asking her a few simple questions.

Ant - Ant was there, but not a part of Pip's friend group, he was just known as this dude that asked Lauren out.

Howie Bowers - First of all, his last name wasnt mentioned in tv show i dont think and it came off as this terrifying dude with a scar, when in the books he was just a drunk dude that was tryna sell drugs and didnt want to get called out by a bunch of teenagers. We never saw his house, Pip never tracked him down, he just happened to be at the Calamity party.

Da silvas - They made him more of a character than he needed to be. It was annoying. Also he did this weird nose grabbing thing eww. They also made Nat da Silva one of Andie's best friends instead of it being Chloe and Emma, it was Nat and Emma.

The cave - This cave shouldn't have existed. The calamity party that Pip was supposed to go to the track down the drug dealer, was in a cave. She didn't pretend to smoke with a guy on a garden wall, she simply asked where he was and he took her to Howie.

THIS NEEDED ITS OWN SECTION

This stupid cave was also where Andie was hidden, it was like a well or something in the cave that Becca dragged Andie into instead of the Farm house

The Farm house - Like Stanley the farmhouse didn't exist. IT WAS A KEY PLOT POINT IN THE FIRST BOOK AND ALSO IS IN THE SECOND YET THEY SAID NOPE AND DIDNT HAVE IT. ajdkbqoEUFBWROGUW

Isla - In the books Isla was this mentally unstable girl Elliot found on the side of the road that he believed was Andie, Isla being unstable then believed she was Andie. Elliot then hid her away in his attic and looked after her. When Pip finds her the girl introduces herself as Andie, Pip then realises it's not. In the stupid TV show, Isla is a poor girl living at a bus stop that Elliot thinks is Andie but quickly realises is not but offers her a place to stay for the night because of her condition, the next morning he confesses to the murder of Sal to her, which he then traps her in the attic. When Pip finds her she says, "I'm not Andie" UGH, it removed that whole plot point.

Barney - Now i was prepared to ball my eyes out at Barney dieing, (I warned u abt spoilers). A few things were different. First Barney was lost at Josh's bday party, not on a walk like in the book. Secondly (spoiler for book three) Barney wasn't drowned. He was discovered dead on the side of the road after being hit by a car which I can't see how they could make that Jason killing him on purpose.

Jason - They didn't make this man more of a suspect. They needed to make him suspisious to set up for a possible season 3. They made Dan da silva a suspect.

Pip showing up at ppls houses - The main way pip interviews ppl is by showing up at their houses, the show eliminated a bunch of these interactions. Pip met Ravi when on a walk with muffins, not his house, Pip met Max while waitressing for a party, (yes at his house but didn't show up on his door step like in the book) Nat da Silva, Pip interviewed her in the locker room after a tennis match when she was half naked.

There are propably so many more big things wrong with this show. It needed more of a budget, they ended up using some of the same shots, like Pip driving the same road, and Young pip. It was very annoying. I had such high hopes for this show to stay close to it's source material becasue Holly was so involved in the filming process, she even has a mini cameo in the hotel episode (look for the guest in a robe). But i was very disappointed so many things were changed. They even missed the whole renactment of murder to prove Sal's innocence. They just left out so much and it's very annoying.

THOUGHTS?

[sparks9793]

I may or may not have followed up on that idea from Sunday cause the BF was busy tonight 🤭

November 11  

There’s a lot to do in terms of work today. With the impending snow storm on the way, he’s pretty sure his flight to LA will have to wait for at least a day, if not more. The BNA airport is old so when there’s a big storm, there’s a high probability that the lights will go out and it takes hours of maintenance to revive the building.  

He has an interview for a new gig in a few days. It’s a big artist and Taylor wants to be the one to lead her creative process, cause the curly haired man knows, they could be great together. He’s been prepping meticulously for it and has a team to help him get ready for the interview with fresh ideas. Nearly every day since she contacted him, he’s met with either Carlos, Dan or Zac at eleven o’clock to go over the key points of this new album’s vision, what he'd change from her previous work if he was her producer and how they’d put his plans into action.  

The curly haired man’s phone goes off when he’s just getting into his key notes for today’s call with Carlos.  

Hayley arrives at his home studio at ten thirty and sheepishly places a long black gently in front of him. “I know. I’m pushing it with the time. I can tell you’re in a sour mood.”  

Taylor’s feeling a little nervous and trying to avoid caffeine, but he knows how hard it must have been for her to get the coffee, especially with the weather outside. She still has some snow in her blonde hair. He takes the coffee and sip it, appearing disinterested.  

“Did you get me a donut or muffin?”  

“No” Hayley says, grinning, as she pulls out a bag and tosses it onto his desk. Two strawberry donuts.   

“Hmm. Good enough. Sit down.”  

Hayley sits down, fixing her sweater as she does. She crosses her leg over the other comfortably and then rests her hands in her lap. Whenever Taylor sees her, the curly haired man likes to note the differences from the last time he’d seen her. Her under eye circles are still very prominent.  

Blonde hair is still drying from her morning shower, face clean of makeup. Her clothes are neatly pressed, a spark in her eye. He feels proud just from looking at her and Taylor hopes she feels the same looking at him.  

“I’m alright. Got a court meeting tomorrow about dividing our assets. It’s a bit annoying now.” The tiny blonde hesitates suddenly and then leans forward, placing her laced hands on the desk. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something I’ve been thinking about for a while. I know you don’t have a lot of time, but I’m occupied tomorrow so I’m just going to fit it in now.”  

“Sure. Everything okay?”  

“Yeah. Yeah, no, everything’s good.”  

“Alright. What is it?”  

Hayley opens her mouth and inhales, but then stops. She bites her bottom lip turning it a deep shade of pink. Taylor knows her well enough to be able to tell when she’s stressed and her discomfort oddly eases his thoughts of not being able to read her anymore.  

“I wanted to ask you last time, but I guess we were a little busy” she starts, glancing down at her bare fingers. “You can totally say no because I understand how weird this is and I don’t want you to feel pressured because I’m your friend, but I also want you to consider it, alright?”  

The curly haired man puts the coffee down and reaches for the donuts, taking a big bite. “Sounds good.”  

“Alright, well.” Now she looks uneasy. Takes a deep shaky breath before speaking. “I was wondering if it would be okay to stay with you for a little bit.”  

Taylor swallows the donut so quickly, it goes down the wrong pipe and he coughs a bit and it gives Hayley a look of concerned, her whole face full of worry. With tears in his eyes, he croaks, “Is the little bitch kicking you out of your own house?”  

Her eyebrows shoot up and her mouth curves into a small smile. “What? No. It’s not that. He’s almost fully moved out actually. I haven’t seen him in a while. It’s just that, well, the house is meant for two or three people, you know? So now that he’s not there and Alf’s been staying with mom, it’s just big and empty. And I’m barely there except to sleep. I just… I don’t know. I don’t really want to be alone right now.”  

There’s a deep pink blush over her cheeks, giving her a healthy glow on Hayley’s otherwise pale skin. Her summer freckles are long gone now, but the new color looks lovely on her. “I don’t mind” Taylor finds himself saying, “if you stay at mine for a bit. But it’s a little cramped now that I turned the downstair rooms into my studio, don’t know if there’s enough space for all your clothes”  

“I don’t mind that” Hayley says quickly, sitting up a bit straighter. “It’s not the clothes I’m worried about. I can work around it, it’s fine. I guess I’m more concerned about…”  

“Staying with me” Taylor finishes, putting the donut down. He wipes his hands on a napkin, but chooses to do it under the desk because his fingers are trembling.  

“Yeah” Hayley says sheepishly, toying with the ends of her hair. “I don’t want it to be weird. But I also don’t want to be alone and I’d rather be with someone I know than be alone.”  

This is one of the many times that the curly haired man realizes he doesn’t fully know how Hayley’s been handling the divorce, only because he’s never been through one. Taylor’s been through break ups, the worst one being with the person sitting in front of him, but never a divorce. After all those years and vows and sacrifices. It’s beginning to dawn on him just how lonely a divorce must be. He’d rejected her and the last thing he want is for Hayley to feel unloved.  

Cause she isn’t. In fact, Taylor right here, loves her more than life.  

And not only that, but he knows Hayley’s nature after being with her for so long. Under the hard exterior, she’s a soft soul. Feels hurt deeply.  

Hayley assumes the silence is a sign of discomfort. Immediately, her green eyes widen. “Like I said, you don’t have to agree T. You can even take a day or two to think about it. I’m not…I’m not forcing you. And I know that this is really weird because you’re… you, Taylor. We have history and I’m not trying to open any stitches or do anything to hurt you. And-and you can totally tell me if I’m disrespecting boundaries because I’ve done that in the past without realizing. I just want to be comfortable and I want you to be comfortable, so be completely honest with me. It won’t make me upset or angry or anything, yeah?”  

Fuck, she’s freaking out. he can see the vein in her forehead bulging from lack of air. She begins moving her left leg up and down and it prompts him to do the same.  

“That’s not the problem, Hayles” he tells her sincerely. “I don’t mind you staying with me. I think my concerns are the same as yours, that we’ve lived together before and we’re not exactly dating anymore so what if it’s awkward?”  

“I promise I will stay out of your way and not bug you when you’re working and leave you alone. Like I said, I’m barely at my own place, go the GDY office most days, so I don’t think I’ll be at yours much anyways except to sleep.” She takes a deep, shaky breath. “I’ll pay you rent, T”  

Taylor shakes his head, offering her a smile. “I’m not worried about rent. You don’t have to do that.”  

“Yeah, but if I’m using your house, it’s the least I can do.”  

“You can buy the groceries.”  

“Sure, I can totally–” Hayley pauses, inhaling slowly. “Are you agreeing to this?”  

Having Hayley as a roommate again? He can do that. It’ll only be for a little bit. He can keep himself off of her. I’m agreeing to this, isn’t he? This is a bad idea, but she’s looking at him  like that . Like the first time she really considered they should move in together when they had been dating. Such hopefulness in her eyes. Such excitement and nervousness.  

How could Taylor ever say no to Hayley when she’s looking at him like she’s completely dependent on him? He selfishly wants her to be dependent on him for things like these, but it’s irresponsible of him when the curly haired man’s struggling to take care of himself. Should he be selfish for once and refuse her? Or should they give it a try?  

In the end, the only selfishness that proves to be triumphant is when he thinks about Hayley’s close proximity to him. And the curly haired man  loves the idea of being physically close with her again.  

“Yes” he answers, reaching for his donut again. “We can make this work.”  

Instant relief breaks out onto her pretty face. Her smile is wide and she runs a hand through her blonde hair. “Thank you, T. I promise I won’t get in your way, okay?”  

“I don’t mind” Taylor insists sincerely, wishing his heart would stop acting like it’s about to stop. “I hope your living habits have changed from before.”  

Hayley stands up and shakes her head with a cheeky smile. “They haven’t. At all. You’re a lifesaver.”  

“Don’t come tonight though. I’ve gotta clean up.”  And freak out privately.  “How about the day after tomorrow?”  

“That’s perfect” she breathes, leaning over the desk to press a quick kiss to his cheek. She glances down at her watch at the same time Taylor’s phone’s alarm begins to ring, signaling that he has to call Carlos for their meeting soon. “Thank you. I’ll leave you to your meeting now, but seriously. I owe you a bunch. Bye!”  

And with that, Hayley’s out of the studio and Taylor’s taking a bite out of his donut once more. This is fine, he thinks to himself. Everything is going to go smoothly.  

The curly haired man feels the weight of her lips on his cheek throughout the hour-long meeting. He is a very selfish man, indeed.  

(What do we think?)

[slocumjoe]

Do you also call Danse things that would probably make him pick you up by the neck and throw you if he could hear you from the other end of the screen.

My go to things are princess, baby, and babygirl because he's the most sopping wet cat of a man I have ever met. This also goes for every other companion

Cait and Piper are both babe, but the tone is different. Cait is an exasperated concern babe, Piper is a "Please stop running infront of my bullets" babe

Mac is amor, baby, and babe

Nick is grandpa or Nicholas, Nicholas if he gets crushed by another elevator trying to follow me up one

Deacon is princess and sweetheart

Curie is also princess and sweetheart but I mean it

Preston is babygirl

X6 is all of the above

I think they'd all be sick of me and that's fine <3

But yeah, do you call your companions nicknames as you play?

Omg

Okayokay okay

SHIT I CALL THE COMPANIONS

Cait i call kitty-cat, red menace, batgirl (bc. She uses a bat), and Caitypie

Curie gets called Curie-ous George and Kermit

DANSE is referred to as sugarpie, babydoll, honeycakes, Dan-man, hotpants, beloved, darling, doughboy (affectionate and horny), cookie, cupcake, muffin man, cake boss, thunder thighs, big boy, and my wife/wifey. Also milkman. For Obvious Reasons

Deacon is deacman d-egg-ster (like dexter), freaky Deac, and 'that clown'

Gage is fuckface, trashman, my guy, and minimum Gage. Also sasquatch, because in game he was always just out off view doing odd shit

Hancock is han, Hamilton, johnny-B-ghoul, and snorts-mcgee

MacCready is Mac, Bobby, Ratboy, Blondie, and weasel

Nick is Nicky V, Peepaw, and Dickolas

Piper is Pipes. Pipey-Wipey, Wiper, Pippy-long-stockings, and...and Diaper. Im not kidding. I try not to. But it's so close to her name.

Preston is Pres, Gravyboat, Prez-dispenser, and Garv/Garf

X6-88 is X, catboy, Four eyes (8 looks like eyes, 2 8s is 4 eyes, plus he wears sunglasses) Sassy-ass, Edgelord, Hot Topic Shopping Piece Of Shit, and beanie baby

[foodfightnovelization]

Foodfight! Workprint Analysis and Discussion (Part 2)

Okay, we're back! So continuing right where the previous part of my analysis left off, Dex has been knocked unconscious by Lady X after figuring out Brand X were behind the rub-outs. He wakes up in a giant washing machine and sees Dan, also held captive in there. Now as I've talked about before, in the finished film it's a dryer, but in this workprint (and several early tie-ins such as the I Can Find It! book) it's a washing machine that slowly fills up with water. I've speculated that this change was made because it was a struggle for the animators to render water convincingly, but I've never actually heard if that was definitively the reason why it was changed. But on top of that, in the movie it's not really clear where this dryer is or how it exists in relation to the store. In this workprint, the Brand X tower is shown several times to have a large washing machine bolted to the side, with it being a cardboard promotional display next to the Brand X shelf in the real-world supermarket. This perfectly explains its appearance later on, and it's baffling as to why this was left out as a washer/dryer in the middle of a grocery store doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Dan explains to Dex what happened, and they figure out Lady X kidnapped Dan as bait to lure him right into her trap. She tells the Brand X Muffin Man to activate the spin cycle and...wait, the who? Okay, so for context, in the finished film this character is called The Brand X Lunchlady, but in the novelization, based off an earlier draft of the script, she's instead a character called The Brand X Mashed Potato Man. I fast became a fan of this character, honestly for little reason other than it's fun to say The Brand X Mashed Potato Man. But in this workprint he's instead called The Brand X Muffin Man...? He looks identical, so I'm going to take a guess and say this was just an early name for the Mashed Potato Man, as later in the workprint he's referred to as such. So basically, the changes this character went through over the years go something like this:

Muffin Man-> Mashed Potato Man-> Brand X Lunchlady

I mean, that's one hell of a transition, right? I don't know why they revised this character so many times and still couldn't even settle on their gender, but either way as a longtime fan of the Brand X Mashed Potato Man, it's exciting to finally hear his voice in this workprint. He only gets one line, but he sounds something like an evil Arnold Schwarzenegger, which is honestly just what I imagined back when I first read the novelization.

Lady X tells her henchmen they're taking over the store, and they proceed to head out and execute Kung Tofu. Or at least... the character CLAIMS they're Kung Tofu, but according to concept art the character actually shown in the storyboard is called Noodle Ninja. Was this a mistake made due to putting together the boards in a rush, did the storyboard artist not have Kung Tofu's model available when they were creating these, or did the two characters swap names at some point in production? You decide.

Meanwhile, Dex and Dan are trapped inside the washing machine, now violently spinning them around in a whirlpool of hot water. Just as it looks like they're done for, Dex manages to get the two of them out by escaping through the fabric softener hatch, which Dan somehow misinterprets as Dex making a move on him. I don't get it? Dex says "if only we could get closer..." but he's clearly referring to some way of escaping the washing machine, so I don't know how Dan mistook this as an invitation to get hot and heavy. Regardless, Dan makes it clear he's not up for dog intercourse while they're slowly being tortured to death, and the two make their escape. In comparsion, the movie's version of events has them escape the dryer by finding a sock and grabbing onto it as disappears through an air vent, with the only explanation for this being "socks always escape from the dryer". While that's true, socks usually get lost INSIDE the dryer, they don't literally escape by flying through air vents and out into the unknown. Overall, the workprint's version of this scene jusst makes more sense, despite the homoerotic faux-pas.

After their escape, Dex looks through a window into the Brand X war room and discovers they're building an entire army of the Xobytes he fought earlier. Now here's one of the most interesting changes in the entire workprint- in the movie, Dex is on the fence about stopping Brand X even after it's clear how much danger the store is in, and has to be talked into it by Dan. Here, as SOON as he sees the Xobyte army he says "I just had an idea" and springs back into action. Dan even questions this, saying he thought Dex didn't get involved anymore, but Dex simply responds "By the time this is over, you may wish I didn't". This makes Dex seem FAR more heroic- as soon as he's made aware of the threat Brand X poses, he immediately gets serious and decides to take action despite everything he's lost, never once doubting he has to do the right thing. Seeing Dex instantly take charge is far more appealing than the wishy-washy self-doubting characterization he's given in the movie, and while you might say the latter gives him more depth, I'd argue the former makes him more charming. There's nothing sexier than confidence, after all.

Dex and Dan sneak into the lab of nasal spray mascot Dr Si Nustrix, and ask him to analyze a sample of the Brand X elixir Dex "borrowed" from Lady X. The doctor takes a whiff of it, and while the dialogue in this scene is mostly the same as it is in the finished film, it's elevated a lot by the temporary voice actors giving far more convincing performances than the actual cast- I particularly love how emotional Dex gets at certain points, raising his voice and actually sounding like a person as opposed to an actor reading lines.

One notable difference is that Dan suddenly tells Dr Nuxtrix "Have I mentioned you look fabulous in that labcoat?" in the middle of their conversation. In the script it's mentioned he's just inhaled the elixir, somehow making Nustrix seem irresistible to him, but without that context, it looks like Dan just makes a move on Nustrix for no reason...which is DOUBLY confusing given the scene not two minutes ago where he rejects what he believes to be Dex flirting with him. If you hadn't read the script, you'd probably just think Dan wasn't into dogs and that neurotic doctors with giant noses were more his type. These kind of things are important to clarify, especially in storyboards which are SUPPOSED to dictate how your movie is going to look! But here, as with many other sequences, the entire scene is depicted with a single storyboard. You'd think they would have thought this would be relevant information to communicate to the animators before one of them animates Dan flirting with Nustrix for no reason but hey, what do I know?

Nustrix's analysis of the elixir shows it's both highly addictive and toxic to humans, and so Dex makes the decision to cross the store during the day, allowing them to get to Mr Leonard's computer and email the info to their market's corporate headquarters. This scene is mostly the same as it is in the movie, but there's an additional line where Dex points out the humans are in danger too. I think this raises the stakes a little and shows that what's happening with Brand X isn't just putting the store at risk but also the world outside it, so I'm not sure why it was cut, but hey- at least we get to see it here.

As the sun rises on Marketropolis, Dex laments that he let it get bad enough that there are whole aisles of Brand X products already, and that they better get going before they lose any more Ikes. However, right as they're about to make their way to Mr Leonard's office, the Brand X Mashed Potato Man/Muffin Man appears with a platoon of Brand X soldiers and hurls a pudding lid at the two. Dex and Dan backflip off the shelf and onto a cart below, and since this is an action setpiece we once again get to a fully storyboarded segment! I REALLY enjoy these, and I know I've said it before but they're absolutely the highlight of the workprint, second only to the actual sequences of completed animation we get to see. The action is so well directed and the boards are so lively and kinetic, a sense of constant movement and motion and cartoon expression that isn't anywhere to be seen in the finished film. It's like a glimpse at what Foodfight! could've looked like with a competent director at the helm.

This whole sequence is VERY different to how it is in the movie, and it's tough to describe since they're so different there's basically no comparing the two, but I'll give it my best shot. Here in the workprint, it's a HUGE exciting setpiece in the vein of something out of Indiana Jones or Ben-Hur, a dramatic shopping cart chase through the aisles of the store, Dex and Dan fighting off Lady X's henchmen attacking from all angles. There's martial arts, price-tag guns, a juicer, multi-cart drifting and more! ...And in the finished movie, it's a short 30 second scene with absolutely no action, no tension, no cartoony movements, and no fighting. Dan just falls onto a cart, is very briefly accosted by the Brand X Lunchlady, and Dex immediately shows up on a soda bottle to rescue him. I can't fathom why almost this entire sequence was removed from the finished film, but given how complex and intense the scene is and how by the end of production they were just trying to finish the film as quickly and as cheaply as possible, they likely just didn't have time to animate anything that actually looked cool.

Truly, this scene is a work of art and it's a shame we never got to see it fully realized. We get a single, beautiful, fully-rendered shot of Dex swooping in on a soda bottle at the very end, but that's it, gone as soon as it arrives. At least we get to see the storyboards of it though, you know? At least this piece of animated action survives in some form. I know I'm talking it up a lot, but it's a fantastic setpiece that truly shows the strength of making a movie set in a supermarket. Regardless of how you feel about Foodfight!, you surely have to admit- a shopping cart chase through the aisles of a store populated by food characters so tiny the carts look like unstoppable behemoths to them- that's an exciting concept just brimming with potential.

The excitement isn't over yet either, as the soda bottle crashes through the freezer aisle, leading Dex and Dan back into the Marketropolis, stranded in an area that looks like the Alps. Polar Penguin pulls up on a toboggan and offers the duo a lift, and another exciting chase ensues as they're pursued by an avalanche as well as Brand X soldiers on snowmobiles. Dan makes a very unusual joke about "squirrels chewing their nuts" that you can actually hear several crewmembers laugh at (a rare instance of people actually ENJOYING working on Foodfight!). They're promptly catapulted back out to the supermarket and into Mr Leonard's office, but not before telling Polar to bring as many Ikes as he can to the Copabanana and warn them about Brand X. This sounds like it would've been another fun action-packed scene, and I love the storyboards we get to see of it even despite them changing to the less appealing Photoshopped ones halfway through.

But wouldn't you know it? None of this made it into the movie either, with it instead being an incredibly short 15 second scene where Dex and Dan fly in on the soda bottle, tell Polar about Brand X, then fly back out again. No chase, no avalanche, no snowmobiles, nothing. The Foodfight! workprint never ceases to amaze me... and the actual movie never ceases to disappoint me. Given the snowmobile chase was in all versions of the script I have AND the novelization, this was likely another last-minute cut due to it being too complicated to animate and needing to rush the movie as fast as they could. But maybe they wouldn't have HAD to rush the movie to completion if Larry Kasanoff hadn't wasted several years and millions of dollars stalling production, you know? Food for thought!

Dex and Dan make their way into Mr Leonard's office and come across Vlad Chocool, an Ike who managed to survive being wiped out by the Xobytes due to already being undead. All of Vlad's dialogue is different here, as in the finished movie he's voiced by Larry Miller, who improvised all over the few lines he was given, throwing in all kinds of rambles, riffs and little jokes. When I first read what Vlad's dialogue was initially supposed to be in the novelization and early scripts, I preferred Larry Miller's take on the character as he was far funnier and made a whole meal out of the few breadcrumbs of dialogue he had to work with. However, I think the voice and dialogue here fit far better in the world Foodfight! takes place in. As funny as Larry Miller was, his version of the character does just feel like a standup comedian doing his own thing rather than a natural part of the movie (especially since all the cast recorded separately and so nobody actually responds to anything he says). Here, the dialogue given to Chocool actually makes him seem like a grocery mascot like the others. In addition, he's given a stereotypical vampire accent, sounding just like the Count from Sesame Street, and you just can't go wrong with that kind of voice.

I also like that Mr Leonard's office actually LOOKS like an office here- in the finished film it looks like a morgue, and while it's very briefly explained that the Ikes call it the "Expiration Station" and so this is just what it turns into after dark, it's never really made as clear as it should be. I think the simpler design of a real-world back office is much better- it helps sell the gravity of the situation, that they're not in the cartoony Marketropolis anymore and that this is the real world with real stakes.

While Brand X soldiers seal the trio in the office, Dex uses Mr Leonard's computer to try and send out a recall, discovering in the process they had Sunshine recalled, as well as a rival prune mascot called Priscilla Pussly. And man, I REALLY love the acting here. Dex sounds genuinely FURIOUS upon finding this out, his voice bitter and filled with regret. Compared to Charlie Sheen's flat, lifeless delivery of the same line, delivered with all the emotion of someone who's just discovered they have a pebble in their shoe. I know all voices in this workprint were just scratch track and so they were never going to be used in the finished film, but they SHOULD have been, they're so much better than any of the actual cast. They fit the characters better, they put more emotion in the delivery, they have natural chemistry with each other, it's night and day.

While Lady X gives a Hitler-esque speech about "sending all the undesirables to the Expiration Station", our trio escape the office through an air vent, Vlad displaying an impressive ability to turn into a bat that he never shows in the finished film (where instead simply flapping his arms somehow allows him to fly). The storyboards for this scene are incredibly detailed, and really show off how appealing the character designs look in 2D. I'm not sure why this particular scene is more detailed than so many of the others, but given the mish-mash of styles this workprint consists of, it's not particularly surprising. As Ikes start turning each other in, we hear a conversation between Hairy Hold and the few remaining members of the USDA, with them blaming Hairy for putting Brand X in charge. Hairy insists it'll all work out, but you can tell by the shakiness in his voice he's trying to convince himself more than anyone else. This last part isn't in the movie (although it IS in the novelization and script), and I really wish it had been as it shows just how bad things have gotten in Marketropolis and how Lady X sowed seeds of distrust among the Ikes until the community they had with each other fell apart. It really is bizarre, I feel the scenes cut from the finished film are always the cool ones. There's never an additional scene in this workprint I feel doesn't add something, or wouldn't have improved the movie had it been left in. Usually with deleted scenes you can see why they were deleted, but none of these feel like they should've been deleted at all.

It's now we get to one of my favorite scenes in the entire workprint. Just as Dex instructed, Polar has gathered as many Ikes as he can at the Copabanana to form a rag-tag resistance against Brand X. Dex still hasn't showed, and Lieutenant X walks in claiming he's been discontinued, and that they'll all suffer a long, cruel expiration unless they sing their allegiance to Brand X. Oscar Mayer refuses to sing the Brand X anthem, saying "my bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R!" and Lieutenant X prepares to skin him alive, just as Dex bursts in and tells them to "play it".

Now in the movie, it's Francois Fromage, a fictitious mascot made up specifically for the movie, and they start singing the "USDA Anthem", a similarly fictitious song sang to the rhythm of La Marseillaise. Obviously this is a homage to the La Marseillaise scene from Casablanca, but the scene doesn't really land at all. It feels unsure of what emotion it's trying to evoke- is this supposed to be serious? If so, it doesn't work. Is this supposed to be funny? If so, the joke doesn't scan.

But in the workprint, they start singing the Oscar Mayer Weiner jingle and the first time I heard this a huge smile spread across my face. Not because it's a recognizable song, but because using this instead of the fictitious "USDA Anthem" actually makes the scene work and makes it clear what they were going for! It's the inherent ridiculousness of taking something as serious as Casablanca, and applying it to something as ridiculous as grocery store mascots singing a commercial jingle. It's the juxtaposition of the weight all the characters give it with the wackiness of the situation, singing a song about weiners like it's the most important thing in the world, like this show of camaraderie puts their very lives at risk. I just really love this scene, and I think had it made it into the finished film it would've been by far the comedic highlight of the entire movie. It just WORKS, and it's a genuinely funny and clever idea executed well. Lieutenant X retreats, but promises to return soon and pulverize them all.

The next few scenes are mostly the same as they are in the finished film- Dex tells the Ikes he's got a plan to stop Brand X and that they'll need all the plastic wrap and trashbags in the store, while Lady X prepares her evil army and says they'll take no prisoners. However, an INCREDIBLY strange moment follows this. Lady X spots Dex's resistance and tells her army to attack and annihilate...and out of nowhere, we hear an unusually realistic scream, like someone was shot in the face in the middle of recording. I'm NOT making this up- go to 47:13 in the workprint if you want to hear for yourself. I mean, what happened here? Why is this in the workprint? What purpose does it serve? Why is it so fucking loud? Did Larry Kasanoff randomly kill a crewmember in the middle of the script reading? It's completely bizarre. I mean, have you EVER heard of an early workprint of a movie having hyper-realistic screaming randomly inserted into the audio track? Of course you haven't, that's insane, it's like something out of a creepypasta! As puzzling as this is however, it's unlikely we'll ever get an answer as to what it's doing here, so I guess we should just move on.

The resistance surround the Brand X army, Dex does a Suicide Squad-style title drop (the voice actor here delivering the line AMAZINGLY), and the battle for supermarket supremacy begins! This is once again a properly storyboarded sequence, and it looks fantastic, selling the impact of the battle in a way the finished movie never does. Even though most of the basic beats of the fight are the same, the way it's boarded makes it look far more action-packed and dynamic. There's even an additional scene where Polar gets catapulated around the battlefield on food the Ikes are throwing, and it looks like it would've been visually fantastic. Come to think of it, is Foodfight! the only movie in history where the storyboards ended up looking better than the final product?

This is followed by yet another properly boarded sequence, in which Dan and a squadron of flying Ikes set out to destroy the Xobyte army, and it looks fantastic as well. Despite the content of the scene being more or less the same as in the movie, only with Sonny the Cocoa Puff bird being present here instead of Jet Pack Jeffery (I talked about this in my last post), it's just executed far better. I honestly think whoever drew these boards should've been the director instead of Kasanoff, as they clearly knew a lot about animation and what makes scenes look good. If you haven't already, I seriously recommend checking out the workprint for yourself.

The next few scenes proceed mostly the same as in the finished film- Cheazel offers to help Dex and Maximilius with their plan, Lord Flushington is captured and Lady X threatens to cut out his tongue, Hairy Hold finally snaps and joins the resistance, Polar Penguin is wiped out by an Xobyte, and Dex asks Dan to fly him over the Brand X tower so he can destroy the Xobytes' fuel source. In the actual movie, this series of scenes DRAGS and goes on far longer than it should, but here it's a much brisker and shorter few minutes, communicating all the same information and story beats but in MUCH less time. Seriously, in the finished film they waste so long on random scenes of characters getting pelted with food, Brand X tanks preparing to fire ketchup, an entire segment where the Ikes prepare their plan to the tune of a song called "Fire In Our Skies", and none of it adds ANYTHING to the plot, it's just there to fill time. Thankfully, all of that is left out of the workprint and instead the scenes here focus on progressing the characters and story.

One of the interesting things I noticed about these few scenes is that the part where Lord Flushington is captured is represented by a wholly unique piece of art not seen anywhere else in the workprint. Why they had concept art drawn up for such a minor scene is beyond me, it doesn't really add a whole lot to the plot or do anything visually unique. On top of that, during the scene where Polar is wiped out by an Xobyte, we see Maximilius roll a can of Campbell's soup to crush General X. This is because at one point, Campbell licensed out their brand and characters to be used in the film- there's even a scene in the script (but left out of the workprint) where Sunshine plays kickball with the Campbell Kids, former mascots for the company. However, by the time the movie came out the Campbell's soup was replaced by Dinty Moore stew, and the Campbell Kids were replaced with generic children.

Cheazel has agreed to help the resistance with their plan to take down Brand X, and so slithers through the sewers to cut the phone line connected to the store's fire alarm, allowing the Ikes to set off the sprinklers without the fire department being alerted. The Mashed Potato Man/Muffin Man attempts to stop him, but is promptly crushed by the the falling telephone pole. This is another properly-storyboarded scene, showing every detail of Cheazel's motion throughout the sequence, and it's once again chock-full of squash-and-stretch goodness. I really think if the movie had been animated this way, Cheazel would've been a fan favorite character- the way he moves and conducts himself is just so charming and silly, and it's a cartoony style of movement rarely attempted in 3D. I mean think about it, most 3D animated movies of the era (and even now) don't put an emphasis on exaggerated movements or cartoony physics the way Foodfight! does- they mostly go more for realism, with characters moving in much the same way an actual person would. I think had Foodfight! come out in 2003 or 2004 in the artstyle we see in the animated sequences from this workprint, it would've been a unique breath of fresh air compared to everything else that was coming out at the time.

As Dex parachutes into the Brand X tower, Maximilius tells Lord Flushington "Time to flick your Bic!" and he leaps into the air with a lighter, bringing it right up close to the store's smoke detector and activating the sprinkler system, causing a flood that slowly destroys Brand X's cheap cardboard buildings.

In the finished film, there's no flood at all- Dex's plan to stop Brand X instead being to start a lightning storm, using lightning rods made of aluminum foil to divert the bolts of electricity towards Brand X's buildings. The aforementioned scene with Cheazel is instead him cutting the power lines to the whole store to start the lightning storm, and this scene with Flushington is instead a conversation between him and Maximilius about how Dex's plan is working. I have no idea why the flood was changed to a lightning storm, but as mentioned before with the washing machine being changed to a dryer, it seems likely the change was made due to animators having problems rendering water. It's unclear exactly when this change was made as well- the script from 2005 has it as a flood, the tie-in "I Can Find It!" book has it as a flood, but the Deluxe Sound Storybook has it as a lighting storm. And to FURTHER complicate things, the novelization features a weird hybrid of both- Cheazel cuts the power lines, but Flushington then needs to jump into the sewer and spread water across the floor of the supermarket to electrify the live wires. So it seems like a change made incrementally over various script drafts, with them paring the idea down more and more to feature less water until it was removed entirely and it was only the lightning storm. It's honestly baffling to me that they ended up cutting almost all instances of water from the plot, as obviously the flood using the sprinkler system makes a lot more sense and fits with the theming of it being a grocery store. I mean, even if they were having trouble rendering water, have you ever heard of a movie being THIS hydrophobic?

Dex uses a grappling hook to destroy the Xobytes' fuel source, only to then spot Sunshine, tied up in a laundry hamper being wheeled away by Lady X. In the movie, the scene simply cuts off as soon as Dex destroys the fuel source, reusing animation from earlier in the movie to bridge the gap to the next scene. However this scene IS in the novelization, so it's fascinating to actually get to see a visual representation of it after previously only getting to read about it. Quick sidenote though- what's going on with the geometry in this scene? I know these storyboards were hastily photoshopped together, but look at the room they're in for more than 5 seconds and it starts to look like something from the mind of M.C. Escher.

Dex defeats Lieutenant X, and he's finally reunited with Sunshine. In the movie, this is the scene with the infamous line "I'm not the one who's going to be puppy-whipped, you cold-farted itch!" but here that's entirely absent. It's not in the draft of the script from 2005 either, nor is it in the novelization. It IS in the the draft of the script from 2007 however, pointing to it being an incredibly late addition to the film, and I'll give you three guesses as to who wrote it (I actually don't know, but given everything we know about Lawrence Kasanoff and the fact that he has a writing credit on the script, it seems incredibly likely it was him). I can't decide whether the movie is better or worse without this line- on one hand, it IS incredibly stupid, but on the other hand it's SO stupid it actually loops back around to being funny due to the sheer ridiculousness of it.

Meanwhile, in another scene that was cut from the finished film but WAS in the novelization, the flying squad realize the Xobytes are out of ammo and prepare to bust their stingers. It's not a particularly significant scene, but once again it's fascinating to finally see something I'd previously only been able to read about. One interesting detail of this scene is that a bee character is included in this scene, who isn't in any of the other storyboards of the flying squad and isn't in the novelization's version of the scene. According to several early storyboards for the original pitch reel, this character's name is either Drone Rivers or Busy Bee, and she was replaced in the finished film by Hedda Shopper, a parrot character. We did get to see Drone Rivers/Busy Bee earlier in the workprint in a fully animated scene, but she more or less disappeared from the plot after that, so it's bizarre to see her suddenly show up again right at the very end.

We also get another properly-storyboarded sequence of the Energizer Bunny taking out a platoon of Brand X soldiers using some slick martial arts moves, and although I think this is an odd time for a scene like this, it looks like it would've been awesome. It reminds me of how every movie in the early 2000s had a parody of the slow-motion kick from the Matrix- although this isn't quite the same as that, it has the same vibe, with the part where he spins around in the air taking out four soldiers at once being particularly similar.

Meanwhile, Dex and Sunshine try to escape the collapsing Brand X tower, and just as the flood is about to completely destroy the place, Dan flies in on his plane and rescues the two of them. This is another of the highlights of the workprint for me- after Dan sucessfully rescues the two of them, Sunshine says she just knew he could do it, and the voice actors for Dex and Dan improvise a bit where they keep saying "me too", with Dex sounding increasingly bemused before everyone starts cracking up. It's such a natural, spontaneous moment that demonstrates the chemistry they all have, and it's the kind of moment you only get by having all the cast together in one room. I've said it before and I'll say it again, these definitely should've been the voices in the actual movie.

It's not over yet however, as Mr Clipboard stomps in and attempts to destroy the store. Interestingly, the storyboard for this sequence is put together using an actual 3D render of the Marketropolis, something not used at any other point in the workprint. Also, unlike the movie there's quite a striking shot of Mr Clipboard framed against the night sky, having opened the loading dock door and turned off the fire alarm, allowing the water from the flood to drain out. It's not a huge deal, but it's one of the little changes the workprint makes that reminds you despite looking like a city, Marketropolis is still just an ordinary grocery store underneath it all. Dex gets Maximilus Moose and Lola to trip Mr Clipboard with a piece of dental floss, revealing him to actually be a human robot piloted by Lady X. Lady X then reveals herself to actually be Priscilla Pussly, Sunshine's old rival, and she's taken away by Dan. This scene is mostly the same as it is in the movie and novelization, so I don't feel the need to discuss it yet again- but I still like to recap the plot each time just to make sure nobody reading gets confused.

In a scene previously only depicted in the novelization, Mr Leonard enters the store the following morning to find all the Brand X products destroyed. Not having any idea of what happens when his store closes at night, he utters "I must be dreaming..." as we transition to one month later. A new shipment of cereal arrives at the store, with Mr Leonard saying he's been expecting this. He pulls out a new box of Cinnamon Sleuth Cereal, now with Sunshine Goodness Raisins added to the mix, and happily declares it looks like a best seller. This is where the novelization ends, and I remember reading it for the first time and being blown away that it had a completely different ending to the finished film. I vastly prefer it as well-it's much more grounded and low-key, and anchors the resolution of the story back to the real-world supermarket it's taking place in. In addition, the idea that Dex and Sunshine's marriage is represented by his cereal now having her raisins in it is adorable, despite raising several logistical questions about how marriage works in Marketropolis. I'm really glad we got to see this ending onscreen in some form, and it reminds me of just how lucky we were to actually get to see an early version of the movie.

Finally, the workprint ends with one last shot of the Copabanana, Dex and Sunshine happily celebrating their wedding as everyone starts clapping and cheering. And that's the end of the Foodfight! workprint! What did you think? Were you satisfied finally getting to see the original version of the movie that had been talked up for over a decade? Were you disappointed there were only around 6 minutes of completed animation in it and the rest was just storyboards of varying quality? I'd love to know what everyone thinks, but personally I couldn't be happier we finally got to see this. It's an ENTIRE early cut of the film, it's written and acted much better, the storyboards (when they're drawn properly) look amazing, and the completed animation we get to see is fantastic.

The first time seeing this, I literally dropped everything I was doing to sit and watch the whole thing because it just blew my mind that after a decade of the movie being "lost" (the fabricated theft story making people believe it'd never be found) that we finally got to see what Foodfight! was originally going to look like, as well as various scenes I'd previously only read about in the novelization. Is it better than the finished film? Absolutely, a hundred times yes. I personally consider this THE definitive version of Foodfight!, and I couldn't be happier the movie I've spent so long writing about has finally been recovered as best as it possibly can.

And so you'd think with the workprint found and almost all the original animation recovered (there were only ever 7 minutes fully animated and rendered, between the workprint and other sources of footage we've got 6) that would be it for Foodfight!, right? That's what I thought too, and I was planning on wrapping up this blog after finishing my analysis of the workprint. I even had a final post planned where I'd reflect on my experiences writing about Foodfight! and working on ROTTEN, as well as showing off my collection of merchandise (which has grown considerably over the past few months). But as is often the case with this movie, something new was brought to our attention and yet ANOTHER piece of Foodfight! history was uncovered, one everyone also once believed to be lost forever. I can't talk about it yet, but rest assured when I can you'll all be the first to hear about it. Truly, a Foodfight! blogger's work is never done, so stay tuned for the last chapter in the Foodfight! saga...for real this time!

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics Named After Foods (4) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three

Cakes And Answers (fanfiction.net) - BluStrawberri

Summary: Dan and Phil decide to do another baking video, and while Phil is hesitant, Dan’s excitement is catchy, and they have a good time. Questions are asked, slight awkwardness ensues, and Phil’s left speechless.

Candy (ao3) - greymarius

Summary: Dan and Phil take their son, Dil, trick-or-treating on the day of Halloween. Dan, being the little sneak that he is, decides to steal half of Dil’s candy.

Candy Ache - boofphil

Summary: Dan eats too much candy, but luckily there’s Phil.

Chocolates, Flowers, Poems, And Other Ways To Say “I Hate You” - placingglaciers

Summary: In which Dan is determined to show his feelings for Phil, the boy from school who barely knows him, before Valentine’s Day the only way he truly knows how.

Christmas Candy Grams - auroraphilealis

Summary: Dan gets a candy gram at his workplace from a secret admirer calling him an angel, but Dan has absolutely no idea who it could be.

Cinnamon and Pepper (ao3) - Absolutefilthimsosorry

Summary: Dan doesn’t like it when Phil tries unusual food without him

Coffee At Midnight (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: A recent trauma has lead Phil to embrace a ‘try new things’ approach to his life. One of those new things is learning how to swim, and Dan is the lifeguard who’s going to teach him.

Cupcakes And A Child’s Love (ao3) wavydanrises:

Summary:  Dan is working at the bakery “The Cake Whisperer” when a man and his child come into his life. All it took was a spiderman cupcake.

EXTREME TRIPLE CHOCOLATE NESTS (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan and Phil cook some Easter nests.

fish me up (ao3) - megiaolf

Summary: Dan has a crush on the pet store clerk.

Icing Fights And Lovebites - phanlight

Summary: It’s nearly Dan’s birthday, and Phil wants to celebrate by making him a cake in a baking video. But will things go according to plan? Read on to find out more!

Marshmallow Santa - adorkablephil

Summary: Just a little domestic fluff moment for Christmas.

much-a-dough about muffin (ao3) - tinydragon (tiny_dragon)

Summary: Dan is the best baker in his apartment building until his new neighbour shows up and threatens his position (and his dignity). It turns out that actually, he might have a competitive streak.

Salted Caramel Brownies (ao3) - dip_the_pip

Summary: Family insists on calling more during quarantine, so Dan hops on a video call with his Nan for some baking.

Scrambled Eggs (ao3) - thoughtfullightcollection

Summary: Phil makes Dan comfort food on a bad day.

Secrets and S'more(ao3) - flowerchilddeeno

Summary: In which Dan and Phil are coworkers who seem to hate one another, but then something happens at the staff Christmas party.

the sanctity of fajitas (ao3) - kishere

Summary: prompt: dan and phil cook something without the recipe, because phil is confident they know how to cook it from memory

the ultimate pizza (ao3) - watergator

Summary: sex and pizza

when it rains, it’s lemon cakes (ao3) - gogystyle

Summary: Sneaking around. Crushed pastries at the bottom of the tray. Kisses at dawn and the impending threat of an arranged marriage.

Phil meets a tall stranger on a late-night rendezvous through the castle. What happens when that stranger’s smile and laugh fill an entire room, burrowing besides Phil’s heart and refusing to leave?

You Opened the Ice Cream Shop, Give Me the Scoop (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Phil confronts Dan about the marriage comments he made live on Stereo.

[floweramongstthecold]

Mutual Catch-Up

Hi hello yes. @sasslett tagged me so I'm just like, sure why not? @shroudkeeper ALSO tagged me. ouo you guys should totally go check those two out, they're FUCKING amazing?

Last Song: I'm listening to my Youtube likes playlist so it keeps changing. XS But the song I picked myself that I felt like listening to was DYWTYLM by Sleep Token

Currently Watching: Shogun baby! I hope to god they don't fuck this show up half way through... I'm gonna be SO fucking upset if that happens cause it's so good man.

Three Ships: Uuuhhhhhh, cannn I put my OWN ships in here? XS Cauuseeee I'm gonna do it annywwaaay. :P Me and Ilar, Me and Dan Heng, me and Sesshomaru.

Sorry, I rarely do CanonxCanon ships anymore if THAT was what you were expecting. XS

Favorite Color: Pink and Blue! ^_^

Currently Consuming: A blueberry muffin

First Ship: Ren and Len Kagamine

Place of Birth: USA

Current Location: Same place, I hate it here ._.

Relationship Status: *laughs hysterically* What relationship? I don't have relationships. ._. Unless you mean with me and my characters cause that's the only relationships ever I've been doing. *shrugs* Sooo single but taken? Self-love? I unnooo!

Last Movie: Sonic Movie 2

Currently Working On: Trying SO hard to start Wonderous Tails. *sighs* I'm so behind cause my bodeh hated me last week and still hates me.

I'm gonnaaa taaagggg! Whoever wants to do this.

[unorthodoxsavvy]

The Philver Scream

The American Nightmare

Chapter 8

Word Count: 75k

Rated: R

Genre: Horror

October 13th, 20:00

Phil sat in his living room with Dan, chewing on a muffin he’d made that morning before Dan had arrived. They were waiting for Jake to get there. Phil’d been up early that morning, though, he was up early most mornings, to make the muffins and other baked good he sold to customers when they arrived. Tonight, though, it was just the three of them once more. Tonight, it was all or nothing.

Dan sat on the oversized plush recliner, the one Phil’d picked up from a secondhand shop, the one that’d had its own ghost when he’d gotten it, the ghost of the old man that had lived and died in that chair, and a ghost Phil had thankfully been able to banish from his own house. Banishing ghosts wasn’t a service Phil offered but it was a skill he’d learned, and it’d come in a handy a time or two in his life believe it or not. You’d be surprised, he’d tell you, how many people are haunted by ghosts and just don’t realize it. Phil made a living off of making other people’s grief his problem, though, and he didn’t intent to add ghost hauntings to that list as well. If you were haunted by a ghost that was your own business, not his, and he was sure there were many reputable sources out there on how to be rid of them yourself. It simply wasn’t his problem.

Phil finished his muffin and went to throw the wrapper away when he heard a car pull into the gravel parking lot of his apartment. Dan had been scrolling on his phone in silence, but looked up as the headlights moved horizontally through the windows. 

None of them had come up with a better idea, so here they were, on October the 13th, when it was predicted that Phil would have another prophetic dream or nightmare in which one man managed to do the impossible and slay children in a way that just seemed like it came out of a horror movie, because it could only exist in Hollywood.

It was just past 8:00 and Phil had a bottle of sleeping pills on his nightstand and a chair overlooking his bed.

Jake knocked on the apartment door and Phil opened it, greeting his coworker and inviting him into his humble abode. Jake took in the bookshelves crammed with an assortment of books and knick-knacks Phil had collected for the craft and the trade or simply just for the aesthetic. The three of them had been staying in touch from their respective home states over the past few weeks, and it was for the first time since flying home from Texas that the three of them were joining together once more on this auspicious night.

When it was time Phil led Dan and Jake upstairs to his bedroom. Phil carried two glasses of water, Dan carried two knives, and Jake carried a gun holstered onto his hip.

Phil sat down on one side of the bed, and Dan the other, and Jake moved the chair to the foot of the bed so he could watch them both at the same time, and one or the other if needed.

Phil poured out two pills from the bottle into his hand and grabbed one of the glasses of water. Dan grabbed the other glass of water while Phil placed the other pill in Dan’s hand.

“Are you ready?” Phil asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Dan smiled, echoing the words Jake had spoken just weeks before.

“God bless you,” Jake said again, though he wasn’t even sure if he believed in God.

“Bottom’s up,” Phil smiled, popping the pill in his mouth then swallowing a gulp of water to chase it down with.

“Bottom’s up,” Dan replied, doing the same.

And then they sat there.

“I guess we wait for the pills to kick in now,” Phil suggested.

“Sounds good,” Jake agreed.

There was a pause.

“So how was the flight here?” Phil asked.

“It was good, thanks. Nice drive coming in too. Nice little area.”

“Yeah, it is, isn’t it.”

“Your apartment’s lovely.”

“Thank you, I quite like it.”

“I noticed you got some fake plants.”

“Yeah I di- woah, just felt the pills kick in. You?” Phil asked, turning to Dan.

“Yeah, I did. Ready to lay down?”

“Laying down,” Phil said.

They laid down on either side of the bed and Dan handed Phil one of the knives.

“Now you remember, if anything goes wrong, you guys come out of there immediately.

“Right,” Phil agreed sleepily, taking Dan’s hand beside him.

“We’ll be alright. We’ll get him, you’ll see,” Dan bragged, words slightly slurred.

“Be safe,” was the last thing Phil heard before he slipped into the darkness, Dan’s hand in one hand, and a knife in the other.

[captainnameless]

Max’s virtual Le Mans disconnect has me feeling so sad. I’d be forever grateful if we could get a Little Max snippet? Preferably with Daniel? 🥹

It’s a couple hours later in the day when they get to call. While Max wasn’t particularly happy for his early wake up today, Daniel’s glad it’s allowed him to speak to the boy despite the 7 hour time difference.

Max had texted him after two missed calls that he’d call him back in a bit and Daniel answers on the second ring.

“Hi bud.”

Max looks tired, disappointment still prominent on his face when he appears on Daniel’s screen.

“Hi.” His voice sounds a bit off, and Daniel tries to look sympathetic.

“How you feeling?”

“Tired.” Max sighs, the phone moving when he rubs his free hand across his face, settling back into what appears to be the living room couch. “Just-, I feel tired. And sad.”

It’s hard for Daniel to not want to try and physically jump through the screen. “I’m sorry, I know how hard you and the team worked on it.”

Max nods, another deep sigh leaving the younger as he chews on his lower lip, biting back a pout. “It sucks, Dan.”

Daniel can only nod, try and validate the younger’s feelings while they evaluate the events of the day. They talk for a good while, Max getting out most of his frustrations and Daniel trying not to laugh when he realizes Max told everyone to uninstall the game. Max seems a little less tense when the conversation quiets down, but Daniel can see how tired the younger is even through the phone screen.

He’s watching Max’s eyes grow more and more droopy before he suggest. “You wanna grab Leo? Take a nap?”

Max blinks his eyes back open, shaking his head unable to hide a whine. “No, I don’t wanna hang up.”

Daniel soothes. “You don’t have to hang up, just go grab him.”

“I don’t know where he is.” Max replies, and Daniel raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “I’m sure you’ll find him if you go look.”

“Dann-”

“Max.” Daniel interrupts, fondness in his eyes as Max forces out an even bigger pout. “Muffin. Go grab him, please. I’ll be right here.”

There’s a dramatic sigh before the phone gets dropped on the couch, the rustling and then there’s silence. Max is back in a few minutes, phone picked back up as Max drops the plush next to the pillow he’d been resting on earlier, face squished in the soft fur.

“Hi Leo.” Daniel says, purely so he can watch the faint blush spread on Max’s cheeks and a shy smile appear. Max hides his face in the lion for a second before reappearing.

“He says hi back.”

It doesn’t take long for Max to relax after that, cuddled up and soothed by the plush and Daniel’s voice. Once Daniel is sure Max is asleep, he snaps a screenshot, because he can, before disconnecting the call and texting Max to call again when he wakes up.

[the-firebird69]

Tones and I - Dance Monkey #TonesandI #DanceMonkey #lyrics #trending #vi...

This is a very strange sounding song they're very odd topic it has meaning though to me and my husband and it's the max saying One More dance and it is very potent I wanted to see look a little odd and she's a muffin top and that's what they say I think it's one of Trump's gals and and they're having a tough time and the max are screwing around with them Non-Stop and they want stuff but it's really odd what's happening everybody is turning against both of them and people can't help it with the morlock they're just very nasty but she's doing the job and helping her people and might be called a muffin top I don't know so she started laughing a little and it is a very strange voice and it sounds funny and fun really dangerous these times are dangerous but The fleets are fighting and bja has hit the two billion off of Mars the more locker out pseudo empire have half a billion and are taking the ships and a lot of them that we might see this dance a little longer and more from Thor and Freya and he thinks the song will be a hit

Hera me too

We are at war here but we know the girl is and she heard thank you very much and in the wrong context and thinks it was Max no but she really was upset cuz it reminded her of what they're having to do sometimes and it's ugly stuff sort of it's not very ugly they're the ones who are doing it this is an amazing time and amazing girl and she's got a really odd voice and it's mesmerizing and really that's what Tijuana is like

Ernesto

So both of them ask me, you? I have to tell you probably

Dan the Man

Okay if you do I do and I pick Dan no that's bad so when you care about oh yeah teasement again that's kind of boring

Sarah

Okay so I probably won't but Jesus that's kind of a really cool song and it means stuff it's famous to me with someone who has a song that means stuff like that

Dan the Man

You know I keep going like this we have some stuff to report

Dave

We have a huge war going on off of Mars no the pseudo empire one just barely has 500 million ships now they have a billion and they're getting more personnel out there this is a huge deal. Bja is hitting the second billion out of three about 500 million more or heating up and that's it and then he's out it's the end of the Trump clan shortly. They have other fleets they're trying to start up and it's a process and some are in the ground total of only 500 million and the firepower only equals a billion and they're going to lose the pseudo empire will be at about 14 billion ships no they'll be about 17 billion and bja in the morlock Macklemore lock will be at about 12 billion and the pseudo empire can take them and they probably will try and do that as they go for Mars and Tommy f might fight bja probably not it's been going like that and we think the pseudo empire is going to take over the lot it's a very momentous occasion even though it still seems like tit for tat and they're just going at it they're going at it very hard and fast bja is starting up motors on 3 billion ships they have orders to go to Mars then after the last 1 billion now and probably the 500 million and they are going to take them out and they organized those engines are on and it only takes about 10 minutes and they're going to depart and they will head to mars you see the pseudo empire we see them and they're heating up 5 billion and dja may match and it's going to be a hell of a battle and the star man is supposedly the giant with the mask and people scared they scanned and down 500 miles they see Giants and they said those pictures and images and people want to see it they want to know if it's true there's lots of telescopes on it and they're trying to look at Saturn and the battle and right now the empire has 20 billion and foreigners 30 billion and they're sitting there and they sat there for 4 days or 5 days and the skirmishes but they're small and they a contemplating their next move they don't have a definite thing to do the foreigners now have up 80 billion ships total including 30 at Saturn and the empire has 70 billion ships up and 20 billion at Saturn but the empire's firepower is 120 billion and the forest fire power is 100 billion they're about equal Tommy f is not launching and what an invisible disgusting event we have to do something and people are not going out there hahaha and the ships would be I deciding factor and taking over Titan or Mars for time being and people might go right now there's a huge crowd at burning Man and it's getting bigger order of magnitude it is probably the size of a smaller area like Springfield Massachusetts which is really only probably a trillion and they're getting out and it includes the bunkers they're getting out in the coming into the tunnel so doing exploration and they are trying to see if there's anything down there on top side on burning Man there are several hundred thousand people fighting and they're going after the trumps and they have small armored vehicles and it's a little war in Bohemia you can make a movie out of it it's a real crazy crap up there. And it really is PGA versus Trump. And pretty soon there's going to be a big issue out there at burning Man and it's because I didn't have permits for that war no the pseudo empire will get involved now a little bit but it's because they're going to find the max eventually and it's going to be on all over the place

Thor Freya and the final lawn mower is will have to wait and somebody said they might be showing up as close in the air support and PGA said maybe and cork a cork that is says we might do it because we have to have that information and they're getting ready and you're going to see what they look like and it's intense okay it's kind of a nasty swarm

Olympus

[dhampiravidi]

my muses' favorite things...

Jayn

Food - peach ice cream & herb-crusted fish

Drink - hot coffee mixed with chocolate OR sangria

Colour - gold & where deep blue meets violet

Season - spring/summer

Scent - lavender

Instrument - violin

Time of Day - late morning

Item - anthology of fiction from her childhood

Movie - Iron Man

Naela

Food - Moroccan-style tagine (stew w/lamb, dried fruit, spices)

Drink - pretty much any fruit juice made fancy (like mimosas)

Color - periwinkle/lavender (like her/her mom's eyes)

Season - summer

Scent - fresh flowers

Music - harp OR anything by Shakira

Time of Day - late morning

Item - her sword(s) OR a worn fantasy romance paperback

Movie - The Princess Bride

Achilles

Food - banana pancakes OR spanakopita

Drink - he just wants gin, a frappuccino, an Italian soda or water

Color - sea green

Season - summer

Scent - the sea

Music - pop (like Britney Spears) & rock (like Nickelback)

Time of Day - noon

Item - a pair of earrings that his mom bought him

Movie - Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith

Jas

Food - Japanese food (sushi, curry rice, mochi)

Drink - peppermint tea

Color - bubblegum pink

Season - spring

Scent - citrus

Music - classical (piano)

Time of Day - noon

Item - her dad’s necklace (Wayland ring on a leather cord)

Movie - A Bug’s Life (her dad took her to see it when she was little)

Skadi

Food - beef pot pie (potatoes, peas, carrots) OR blueberry muffins

Drink - something w/cinnamon (rum/horchata) OR Bai Mu Dan tea

Color - forest green

Season - spring & autumn

Scent - cinnamon OR fresh pastry

Music - low woodwinds & chanting

Time of Day - morning

Item - a Jotnar song her parent taught her

Movie - the LOTR trilogy + Good Will Hunting

Oraia

Food - dolmades (Greek stuffed grape leaves), pizettes (Italian chocolate cookies w/almonds & cinnamon)

Drink - paloma (tequila, lime juice, grapefruit soda) or mojito (white rum, sugar, lime juice, soda water & mint); peach green tea

Color - N/A, though she wears a lot of blue & white

Season - any time that isn't cold

Scent - vanilla

Music - Euopop, modern rock, anything worth dancing to

Time of Day - just after sundown

Item - the knife her mom gave her

Movie - Jumping the Broom OR Disney's Hercules

Hestia

Food - Thai coconut chicken soup OR Bûche de Noël [Yule Log]

Drink - Kahlua & Chai OR Chai Tea Latte

Color - orange

Season - winter

Scent - whatever her lover & her kid smell like

Music - 90s pop (mostly dance songs)

Time of Day - early morning

Item - picture of herself & a bunch of the X-Men outside

Movie - Love Actually

Rose

Food - garlic noodles (also she's a vegan, just sayin')

Drink - bourbon OR green tea (either w/honey)

Color - ballet pink OR white

Season - spring (no solstices & few cold breezes)

Scent - the sea

Music - punk-pop (especially acoustic covers)

Time of Day - early afternoon

Item - magic locket (allows for multidimensional comm w/father)

Movie - The Prestige

Aurelia

Food - chicken vindaloo

Drink - simple stuff. Latte. Tom Collins. CBD oil ;)

Color - jade green & gold

Season - summer

Scent - dewy grass, hot cocoa, woodsy cologne

Music - classic rock (especially The Rolling Stones)

Time of Day - early evening

Item - her wand OR a souvenir scarf from Nigeria

Movie - Die Hard OR Waiting to Exhale

Rela

Food - Jogan fruit OR a simple Chinese-style stir fry (vegetarian)

Drink - doesn’t like alcohol; Royal English Breakfast Tea (w/milk)

Color - the electric blue of a holobook

Season - autumn

Scent - trees & forests in general

Music - acoustic covers & R&B

Time of Day - middle of the night

Item - her late master, Maglos Nerot's, yellow lightsaber

Movie - historical documentaries (w/o reenactments)

Eugenia

Food - carbonara (pasta)

Drink - hates alcohol; Arnold Palmer (tea & lemonade)

Color - maroon

Season - spring

Scent - dewy grass

Music - R&B + 00s pop

Time of Day - late morning

Item - she can't pick (isn't materialistic anyway)

Movie - The Bodyguard OR Legends of the Fall

Shayera

Food - chicken mole enchiladas OR falafel

Drink - Hurricane (3x rum, grenadine, OJ, simple syrup) OR a vaguely fruity thing infused w/some caffeine

Color - hot pink

Season - autumn

Scent - cocoa butter

Music - 90s rap & modern alt (Hozier)

Time of Day - noon

Item - her mace

Movie - The Equalizer OR Rush Hour

Mu Lan

Food - nkwobi (spicy Nigerian stew w/cow foot & fish stock)

Drink - ginger beer (doesn't like drinking often)

Color - crimson

Season - spring

Scent - ginger

Music - violin OR indie folk (The Civil Wars, The Lumineers...)

Time of Day - late morning

Item - petals that she preserves in her books

Movie - Miss Congeniality

Monet

Food - steak (medium) frites

Drink - sidecar cocktail (cognac, orange liqueur, lemon juice)

Color - maroon

Season - summer

Scent - apple pie

Music - 80s pop music

Time of Day - noon

Item - her black trenchcoat (which she sometimes wears as M)

Movie - The Mummy

Fantomex

Food - pretty much anything French that's 4-star quality

Drink - White Russian (vodka, coffee liqueur & cream)

Color - white, sometimes silver

Season - winter

Scent - roses

Music - rap (in French, obviously)

Time of Day - nighttime

Item - a picture Evan (his adopted son/nephew) painted for him

Movie - Casablanca OR Atomic Blonde

Renée Michele

Food - her dad's étouffée OR her mom's lotus root pork bone soup

Drink - vodka & blue raspberry Jello shots OR caramel macchiato

Color - neon colors, typically purple

Season - summer (partly for the thunderstorms)

Scent - chocolate

Music - pop-punk & grunge

Time of Day - noon

Item - her eyes

Movie - Bullet Train

Rhea Livia

Food - cheeseburger w/onions & tomato OR pork broth ramen

Drink - Baya Energy Mango Guava (premade)

Color - electric blue

Season - summer

Scent - chamomile

Music - modern/10s pop

Time of Day - noon

Item - her skateboard

Movie - Scary Movie

Cathan

Food: best described as fish resembling salmon

Drink: Faerie wine (newer the better)

Colour: black, though he says red

Season: summer

Scent: vanilla

Music: 90s pop (he’s been to mundane clubs)

Time of Day: sunset

Item: scarf gifted to him when he was twelve

Movie: Good Luck to You, Leo Grande or Moulin Rouge

[lunaelotus]

The young man stood by as the peel was tossed and answered a text. Hopeful March and Stelle would not burn the city down without him their to moderate. He looked at the prepared lunch it was some sweets and fruit. He glanced back "You do need, if all you have had this morning was a banana." he stated "Your weight ratio to your caloric intake will be in negatives…especially if you are training."

Dan Heng did not look particularly offended by being turned down. He was trying to be helpful.

"You are quiet stubborn." he said as he shrugged his shoulders the snack bag still extended like an olive branch to the young man. Dan Heng opened the bag and sat out things from it on small area for those who might want or need a meal to get. He wasn't about to force the bag upon the man he wasn't going to be eating a home packed lunch so he placed the content out. Muffins, an Apple, small hard cheese wheel, a pack of skyflake crackers and some cake.

@honkai-star-fun

“I wonder if I can eat this banana in under a minute…” Kai says to himself, staring intently at the yellow fruit. He only hopes the no one else heard him.

@honkai-star-fun (Kai)

"It is in your favor." the man stated as he glanced at the yellow fruit in the others hand. The hope for not being overheard...well that was another story. "Is there a reason why you are wanting to do so ?" his brows were drawn.

"Such as an eating contest like they have on Jarilo-VI ?" there was curiosity there since March 7th thought they could beat the champion at eating. Dan Heng assumed it was rigged like many games were so he had declined

@honkai-star-fun

[rwbyconversations]

Name some RWBY youtubers that are good, and ones I should stay away from

Bad: Adel Aka, MuffinManDan, RegularDude, EruptionFang if he keeps his Adam boner in Volume 7.

The meh: FatManFalling (he could be great if he learned to condense his arguments and edit them into a proper order, and the sheer potential of being a good critic and having decent mic quality puts him above a lot of the bad reviewers).

Good: CelticPhoenix (most often talks about RWBY as part of FMF’s reaction/podcast thing which means you do have to deal with him but I think Celtic’s worth it), Twiins Ink, Judgemental Critter, Blizzic, RemnantDudeHD, Unicorn of War. 

[kob131]

Failures of Muffin Man Dan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJBX6JO02ps

Here we’ll be using the guy supposedly left RWBY (and confidentially lost most of his viewers and his uploads have slowed to a trickle) as yet another example.

Point 1: He is incapable of explaining himself

- His very first point showcases this by saying that just by looking at the design of the characters, you can tell what kind of world they inhabit. How so? … Exactly. Dan doesn’t SAY what about the characters indicates what kind of world they exist in. No notes on how they’re designed, what the characters look like, what type of characters they are or anything. He doesn’t say anything he just concludes that what he said was right and what you thought was the conclusion he thought of. A very big leap to take since he hasn’t backed himself up.\

- He the proceeds to list thing RWBY has ... but they bdon’t convey a sort of style and instead just lists basic tropes. He doesn’t explain how any of the tropes he lists work together or function to create a definitive style he just lists them and expects you to agree with what he’s said.

-He tries to say that Monty had a clear vision of the world he wanted but he doesn’t point to anything or say anything about it. 

Point 2: His examples are poor.

- His continued first point gives us a list of different things RWBY has ‘elements’ of. Like Mecha, Sci-fi, Magical Fantasy, Slice Of Life, Drama and Action.

The issue comes from the fact that: The mecha stuff is very limited, mecha is a sub genre of sci-fi, magical fantasy can refer to any number of different settings (and to be honest, ‘Magical’ and ‘Fantasy’ go hand in hand in this case since he already cornered off sci-fi), slice of life as well as drama are incredibly widespread in most pieces of media and the show doesn’t fit their specifics and Action just means there’s fighting. 

And none of this aside from Action and MAYBE Fanatsy are conveyed in the character designs shown so...what’s the point here?

-His next...point? is that RWBY has wizardy schools, flying machines and holographic streets...

… Issue here is that this video is supposedly about RWBY losing it’s style but from what he’s said, it would sound like RWBY HAS no set style. It sounds like a conflicting mishmash of ideas that wouldn’t make sense together. His example, along with his inability to explain himself, invalidates his own base premise.

- The visuals he plays when saying Monty had a consistent character aesthetic show Ruby and Jaune who don’t share any visual aesthetics with each other. 

Point 3: He relies on confirmation bias..

- He tries to prove that the CRWBY are running out of ideas by saying ’oh this one character was said to be the Cowardly Lion but now Lionheart is said to be that!’. But all he does is prove Lionheart is an allusion to the Cowardly Lion. He just says ‘I swear another character was said to be the Cowardly Lion’ as evidence. While this is an example of Dan not having an example AND his example being bad, he also shows that he’s reliant on the viewer to automatically agree with him.

-He complains about background characters just having ‘a shirt or a tie’ but the thing is- 

This character appears several times throughout the first three Volumes. His deign is literally just a grey shirt and a red apron with no design.

This guy has a speaking role and is the center focus of a scene. He’s just wearing a shirt and an undershirt.

This guy is the villain from the Yellow Trailer. He literally is just ‘a shirt and a tie’ with a black vest.

To say nothing of how he complains about the design of these bandits:

When these characters are nothing but the same model with different facial hair.

Hell, look at a screenshot of random filler characters from Volume 3:

To this shot from Volume 4:

The shirts can have more details, there’s different styles of shirts, there’s more hairstyles, the colors aren’t so monotone, they can have accents.

Dan’s own visuals contradict him.

I would put this one under ‘Examples are poor’ but with the aggressive tone he is using: he expects you to agree solely based on the fact that he is saying what you want to hear. You want to feel outraged and indignent and superior? Dan’s giving you the reason on a silver platter even though it doesn’t work.

I could go on and on but consider the fact that I only needed two minutes to have all these points.

Two minutes and three separate points with one point requiring visuals aids to show how bad this gets.

This isn’t even addressing other things like his lack of basic structure (hence why my points are a little loose feeling) or his two faced attitude (having deleted both of his Shane videos after it came out that he said something contradictory to his first video) or his hypocrisy (where he makes videos on people being rude to him and making accusations while being rude to anyone who doesn’t agree with him or accusing RT of using the dead.)

Muffin Man Dan got 10k subs just by feeding people what they wanted to hear.

Legitimate content creators could only dream of such an audience.

And yet people question why I don’t take so many RWBY critics seriously.

[knightofbalance-13]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ofs5kcTnG9A&feature=youtu.be

Anyone who knows me knows I fucking HATE it when people try to use Monty or Shane to attack RT.

And looky, the disingenuous idiot of the RWBY critics is gonna do just fucking that.

How fun.

So his first argument is that Shane’s Letter ‘exposes’ stuff about RT.

Mind you, the image he brings on screen goes to show WHY the letter doesn’t work the way Dan says it does.

Because in that image, we see that the summary is about 20% RT and 80% Shane. As in, the letter spends more time talking Shane himself and his own life and how he was affected by Monty’s death than anything related to RT.

Contrast this with say, The ‘Not So Awesome’ which is ENTIRELY about the grievances with Channel Awesome.

In fact, the ‘Not So Awesome’ Document really shows just how USELESS Shane’s letter is in this context.

The second document is labeled in a non-manipulative way, structured to showcase issues with the company in a factual manner, gives evidence for their claims through screenshots and has numerous sources in the document. Shane’s letter is labeled to tug at people’s emotions, structured to build sympathy with him instead of just displaying the facts and he has ZERO evidence in his document. Now, what I said about Shane isn’t really his fault and I’ll get to that latter. However, this DOES matter with Dan because he is trying to use this letter as a factual piece of evidence to support his bullshit vendetta against RT when, as a so called critic, he should have caught onto these issues even WITHOUT another document to contrast.

Next he tries to claim that they were sabatoging Monty’s work with this image:

See, not only is this NOT sabotage as RT has every reason to switch to Maya and standardize the workflow since the literal ONE MAN who made it is now dead-

But you can’t sabotage who is DEAD. Dan talks like they were doing this when Monty was alive but this piece is firmly located in the May 2015 section, which is AFTER Monty’s death. And at this point, they can’t sabotage him. They can only work with they have NOW.

Not only that, we only have Shane’s word this is what was said. And sorry to say but between the needless points about his marriage and interacting with Sheena as well as the OBVIOUS signs of depression in Shane: the man is not trustworthy on a factual basis. As someone with depression himself, I guarantee you that depressed people tend to remember the WORST version of what happens since that is what our minds are focused on.

Dan is using a DEPRESSED MAN’S mental state to back his bullshit.

And then he talks about the letter, how he went back and forth with the letter (I call bullshit because he doesn’t even TALK like someone conflicted about the letter) and how Miles and Kerry aren’t mentioned (which he calls ‘Very interesting’ despite them being implied as the higher ups in RT.)

Dan then goes onto try and criticize EZ PZ for saying that Sheena was the reason Monty died and tries saying that Sheena was nothing but a ‘perfect partner for Monty.”

A. Not that I agree with EZ PZ mind you. He is a complete piece of shit using fucking KIWI FARMS’ levels of bullshit to justify his crap. But Dan, don’t fucking act like you’re any better. You have used this letter in the past and more (we’ll get to THAT as well) to hate on RT. 

And B. How can YOU say that when your only evidence is the same letter you said should be taken as a grain of salt. Don’t speak for things you have no knowledge on.

And then he just talks more and more about stuff said in the letter, using it to basically spout his opinions.

Like his bitching about the Ruby Vs. Torchwick and Neo which is basically just him crying about Neo getting out by opening her umbrella (not like airborn ships are moving FAST and an umbrella would catch the fast moving wind, amirite?) which is just him being PETTY.

Then we got to how Dan says that the Letter proves that the CRWBY aren’t trying to respect or live up to what Monty did. Which is a blatant LIE with the Adam Trailer, The Yang Vs. Bandits fight and ESPECIALLy the Cinder Vs. raven fight. Oh and there he goes again trying to use a DEAD man and a DEPRESSED man to justify his own irrational vendetta against people not bowing down and doing EXACTLY as he wanted. 

And remember how he said you should take this letter with a grain of salt? Yeah, which is it Dan? DO we take the letter seriously or NOT? Or do we just use to support our biases and then pretend we actually give a shit like you do?

And here’s one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard. I’m gonna try and type it out word for word so you know WHY I think this way:

“But maybe, Monty’s friends. Miles and Kerry and all those people are trying to live up his name. Maybe they’re reading the reviews and seeing that Monty’s RWBY is better than their RWBY.”

Basically:

“If you don’t listen to me and admit you are shit, you were not Monty’s friend.”

Because it’s not like Dan has never met the man ONCE in his entire life, let alone long enough to make any sort of assumption his behalf and most certainly not over his co-writers and fucking BROTHER-OH WAIT, THAT”S ALL COMPLETELY TRUE.

Then we go into Dan claiming that RT is trying to make RWBY into their own original IP. Which even if it isn’t (They have Camp Camp, Nomad of Nowhere and Gen:Lcok): IT IS THEIR OWN IP. Monty was THEIR employee and while he may have created it, it would have never become what it is without RT as a whole. And mind you, Miles and Kerry are JUST as important to the creation of RWBY as Monty, to the point that MONTY went to both of them to be his co-writers. But hey, that would mean...you know, treating Miles and Kerry with basic human decency and of course Dan is physical incapable of that.

Also goes against what he said earlier, calling them Monty’s friends and saying they weren’t as bad as he thought. Seems like a recurring theme huh?

This would ALSO mean that Miles and Kerry could, you know, SUCCEED at their work instead of continuously failing to embody a dead man who they could never hope to copy. We know this because Shane TRIED IT IN THE FUCKING LETTER AND FAILED. But we both know you don’t WANT them to succeed.

He then tries to blame the Maidens and the Relics on Miles and Kerry...Which everyone knows both are MONTY’S IDEAS. We know this because SEVERAL people have come forward saying this and we can see similar concepts to these in the things Monty liked, like Evangelion or Blazblue. So I guess they’re suppose to both do what Monty would and NOT do what Monty would do...or maybe Dan is two faced. Who knows?

Oh and he outright admits Monty added shit in and then STILL tries to blame it all on Miles and Kerry by saying they discussed it and that they ‘are into that stereotypical anime bullshit’ trying to use the DRAGON BALLS as an example. (You know, those SEVEN things made by ALIENS that ANYONE can use and AREN’T the focus of the series.)

And then Dan has the BALLS to claim that Monty isn’t a part of RWBY anymore and that he will never be respected in RWBY again. He then calls Miles and Kerry ‘Cooperate bullshit.’ He then tries to excuse himself of his bullshit by saying “I’m bashing RT as a company. I’m not bashing Miles and Kerry” and tried claiming RT tried to cover it up by not saying anything. He then claims the voice actor for Winter (it was Glynda dumbass) said it was all true and then says two people said it. He then triers to say that they have decency for Monty’s craft or his work...

*cracks knuckles* Let me break this down.

A. If they didn’t respect Monty anymore, why the FUCK would they keep the Maidens around despite the fact that only MONTY liked them?

B. You ARE bashing Miles and Kerry specifically. You SPECIFICALLY mentioned them as a part of the cooperation. This is you trying to get out of any accusation of harassment and slander.

C. Glynda’s voice actress was fired from RT for claiming that Burnie’s fiancée fucked her way up the cooperate ladder and Barbara all but directly said she was harassed by her. She did this because she was vindictive about not being treated like a gem by the company.

D. Dan, RWBY is ALSO Miles and Kerry’s brainchild. They are just as important to the series as Monty was. In fact, they probably kept it from crashing and burning since Monty had no experience in writing and wasn’t a good writer inherenty.

E. RT didn’t respond because that’s their policy. They don’t react to this shit. They just keep going. And if they wanted to cover it up-WHY DIDN’T THEY SUE SHANE? they have the right to as Shane broke the confidentiality agreement he signed to work for them. So show me the legal action used to cover it up.

And E. Monty was all about unity and being together. YOU are trying to create division and strife all because you’re basically a jittled lover. YOU are the one who has no decency jackass.

But wanna know the funniest thing about this?

Dan tries acting like this is some huge conflict for him and tries acting like this has changed his views at all.

When on the same day, he posted this to his twitter (https://mobile.twitter.com/MuffinManDan1/status/1045078347808681984)

So Dan:

You say that they aren’t so bad.

Then you say they are.

Then you say they aren’t again.

Then you say they are.

And then you say they always were on your Twitter.

Muffin Man Dan-

Shane’s actions are understandable because he was depressed, grieving and broken. He was pretty fucking out there.

Yours are not.

You lie, you attack, you insult, you slander, you misinform, you use people for your own personal gain-

You do irredeemable shit for deeply PETTY bullshit.

You don’t care about Monty, Shane, Sheena or RWBY.

You care about yourself and what you can gain, you two faced asshole.

[kob131]

Okay-

A. Don’t say ‘we’re doing just fine’ then say ‘I’m not one of these people’. Those are contradictory statements. Not to mention that you lump MurderOfBirds, a famously VERY positive reactor, with Judgmental Critter, a famously NEGATIVE reviewer. Which is just...odd. One of these is clearly not covered by the topic.

and C. Yeah- Taking a look at Critter’s videos, her only consistent viewership is RWBY. If it ends, she really is fucked because her magical girl stuff seems to fluctuate pretty heavily. 

I don’t believe Critter is doing this for the views (she acts distinctly different from Hero Hei and Muffin Man Dan) but all she really has going for her is shitting on RWBY. She’s not even good at it- that audience is just desperate to hear themselves over and over again.

These people NEED RWBY to have what little fame and importance they do. The instant RWBY ends, no matter the situation, these people lose everything.