#move fast and break things

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

This is a shrewd a summation of the current coup in the United States and the crisis it is generating. Thoroughly recommend. American friends take note: It can and must be resisted if your country is to survive as a constitutional democracy.

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THE LOGIC OF DESTRUCTION - AND HOW TO RESIST IT

By DR. TIMOTHY D. SNYDER, Richard C. Levin Professor of History at Yale University

What is a country? The way its people govern themselves. America exists because its people elect those who make and execute laws. The assumption of a democracy is that individuals have dignity and rights that they realize and protect by acting together.

The people who now dominate the executive branch of the government deny all of this, and are acting, quite deliberately, to destroy the nation. For them, only a few people, the very wealthy with a certain worldview, have rights, and the first among these is to dominate.

For them, there is no such thing as an America, or Americans, or democracy, or citizens, and they act accordingly. Now that the oligarchs and their clients are inside the federal government, they are moving, illegally and unconstitutionally, to take over its institutions.

The parts of the government that work to implement laws have been maligned for decades. Americans have been told that the people who provide them with services are conspirators within a “deep state.” We have been instructed that the billionaires are the heroes.

All of this work was preparatory to the coup that is going on now. The federal government has immense capacity and control over trillions of dollars. That power was a cocreation of the American people. It belongs to them. The oligarchs around Trump are working now to take it for themselves.

Theirs is a logic of destruction. It is very hard to create a large, legitimate, functioning government. The oligarchs have no plan to govern. They will take what they can, and disable the rest. The destruction is the point. They don’t want to control the existing order. They want disorder in which their relative power will grow.

Think of the federal government as a car. You might have thought that the election was like getting the car serviced. Instead, when you come into the shop, the mechanics, who somehow don’t look like mechanics, tell you that they have taken the parts of your car that work and sold them and kept the money. And that this was the most efficient thing to do. And that you should thank them.

The gap between the oligarchs’ wealth and everyone else’s will grow. Knowing what they themselves will do and when, they will have bet against the stock market in advance of Trump’s deliberately destructive tariffs, and will be ready to tell everyone to buy the crypto they already own. But that is just tomorrow and the day after.

In general, the economic collapse they plan is more like a reverse flood from the Book of Genesis, in which the righteous will all be submerged while the very worst ride Satan’s ark. The self-chosen few will ride out the forty days and forty night. When the waters subside, they will be alone to dominate.

Trump’s tariffs (which are also likely illegal) are there to make us poor. Trump’s attacks on America’s closest friends, countries such as Canada and Denmark, are there to make enemies of countries where constitutionalism works and people are prosperous. As their country is destroyed, Americans must be denied the idea that anything else is possible.

Deportations are a spectacle to turn Americans against one another, to make us afraid, and to get us to see pain and camps as normal. They also create busy-work for law enforcement, locating the “criminals” in workplaces across the country, as the crime of the century takes place at the very center of power.

The best people in American federal law enforcement, national security, and national intelligence are being fired. The reasons given for this are DEI and trumpwashing the past. Of course, if you fire everyone who was concerned in some way with the investigations of January 6th or of Russia, that will be much or even most of the FBI. Those are bad reasons, but the reality is worse: the aim is lawlessness: to get the police and the patriots out of the way.

In the logic of destruction, there is no need to rebuild afterwards. In this chaos, the oligarchs will tell us that there is no choice but to have a strong man in charge. It can be a befuddled Trump signing ever larger pieces of paper for the cameras, or a conniving Vance who, unlike Trump, has always known the plot. Or someone else.

After we are all poor and isolated, the logic goes, we will be consoled by the thought that there is at least a human being to whom we can appeal. We will settle for a kind of anthropological minimum, wishful contact with the strong man. As in Russia, pathetic video selfies sent to the Leader will be the extent of politics.

For the men currently pillaging the federal government, the data from those video selfies is more important than the people who will make them. The new world they imagine is not just anti-American but anti-human. The people are just data, means to the end of accumulating wealth.

They see themselves as the servants of the freedom of the chosen few, but in fact they are possessed, like millennia of tyrants before them, of fantastic dreams: they will live forever, they will go to Mars. None of that will happen; they will die here on Earth, with the rest of us, their only legacy, if we let it happen, one of ruins. They are god-level brainrotted.

The attempt by the oligarchs to destroy our government is illegal, unconstitutional, and more than a little mad. The people in charge, though, are very intelligent politically, and have a plan. I describe it not because it must succeed but because it must be described so that we can make it fail. This will require clarity, and speed, and coalitions. I try to capture the mood in my little book On Tyranny. Here are a few ideas.

If you voted Republican, and you care about your country, please act rather than rationalize. Unless you cast your ballot so that South African oligarchs could steal your data, your money, your country, and your future, make it known to your elected officials that you wanted something else. And get ready to protest with people with whom you otherwise disagree.

Almost everything that has happened during this attempted takeover is illegal. Lawsuits can be filed and courts can order that executive orders be halted. This is crucial work.

Much of what is happening, though, involves private individuals whose names are not even known, and who have no legal authority, wandering through government offices and issuing orders beyond even the questionable authority of executive orders. Their idea is that they will be immunized by their boldness. This must be proven wrong.

Some of this will reach the Supreme Court quickly. I am under no illusion that the majority of justices care about the rule of law. They know, however, that our belief in it makes their office something other than the undignified handmaiden of oligarchy. If they legalize the coup, they are irrelevant forever.

Individual Democrats in the Senate and House have legal and institutional tools to slow down the attempted oligarchical takeover. There should also be legislation. It might take a moment, but even Republican leaders might recognize that the Senate and House will no longer matter in a post-American oligarchy without citizens.

Trump should obviously be impeached. Either he has lost control, or he is using his power to do obviously illegal things. If Republicans have a sense of where this is going, there could be the votes for an impeachment and prosecution.

Those considering impeachment should also include Vance. He is closer to the relevant oligarchs than Trump, and more likely to be aware of the logic of destruction than he. The oligarchs have likely factored in, or perhaps even want, the impeachment and prosecution of Trump. Unlike Vance, Trump has charisma and followers, and could theoretically resist them. He won’t; but he poses a hypothetical risk to the oligarchs that Vance does not.

Democrats who serve in state office as governors have a chance to profile themselves, or more importantly to profile an America that still works. Attorneys general in states have a chance to enforce state laws, which will no doubt have been broken.

The Democratic Party has a talented new chair. Democrats will need instruments of active opposition, such as a People’s Cabinet, in which prominent Democrats take responsibility for following government departments. It would be really helpful to have someone who can report to the press and the people what is happening inside Justice, Defense, Transportation, and the Treasury, and all the others, starting this week.

Federal workers should stay in office, if they can, for as long as they can. This is not political, but existential, for them and for all of us. They will have a better chance of getting jobs afterwards if they are fired. And the logic of their firing is to make the whole government fail. The more this can be slowed down, the longer the rest of us have to get traction.

And companies? As every CEO knows, the workings of markets depend upon the government creating a fair playing field. The ongoing takeover will make life impossible for all but a few companies. Can American companies responsibly pay taxes to a US Treasury controlled by their private competitors? Tesla paid no federal tax at all in 2024. Should other companies pay taxes that, for all they know, will just enrich Tesla’s owner

Commentators should please stop using words such as “digital” and “progress” and “efficiency” and “vision” when describing this coup attempt. The plotting oligarchs have legacy money from an earlier era of software, which they are now seeking to leverage, using destructive political techniques, to destroy human institutions. That’s it. They are offering no future beyond acting out their midlife crises on the rest of us. It is demeaning to pretend that they represent something besides a logic of destruction.

As for the rest of us: Make sure you are talking to people and doing something. The logic of “move fast and break things,” like the logic of all coups, is to gain quick dramatic successes that deter and demoralize and create the impression of inevitability. Nothing is inevitable. Do not be alone and do not be dismayed. Find someone who is doing something you admire and join them.

What is a country? The way its people govern themselves. Sometimes self-government just means elections. And sometimes it means recognizing the deeper dignity and meaning of what it means to be a people. That means speaking up, standing out, and protesting. We can only be free together.

[erik-even-wordier]

A word on the "move fast and break things" concept

A word on the "move fast and break things" concept. It comes from tech, as you probably know, and was very much the Amazon ethos. And I'm actually a fan of it, when it's deployed correctly. But it's now being used to justify malicious people doing reckless things in the stupidest ways possible, and that makes me mad.

So if someone in your life is under the delusion that Pres. Musk and his band of bros are just being "entrepreneurial" or "operating at internet speed" or whatever and the outcome will be glittering success, here's what "move fast and break things" is SUPPOSED to mean:

* Design and code products and features in an iterative way so that you can respond to customer/market needs quickly, vs taking forever to build something that might not even be relevant anymore once you're done. Launch something, get feedback, tweak or add to it, get more feedback, etc. This can be tricky to get right--we've probably all seen the definition of "minimum viable product" stretched to within an inch of its life at times--but I think it's a net good for companies and consumers alike.

* Understand when you have ENOUGH information to move forward responsibly, even if you might LIKE to have a little more. Analysis paralysis is real. (I can personally attest to this as one prone to it.) Certainty is seductive. But endless dithering over edge cases and what-ifs means no forward momentum. This also applies to over-reliance on consensus. You need your key stakeholders on board with your plan, but waiting for universal approval is a route to getting nothing done. When people ask how I succeeded for twelve years at Amazon, a company the average (and saner) employee leaves within eighteen months, my answer is that I learned how to navigate and even thrive in ambiguity, so that I could make decisions in fast-changing circumstances and take measured risks.

* Distinguish between one-way and two-way doors. Two-way doors are decisions that can readily be reversed if it turns out that when you moved fast, you broke something important. One-way doors are permanent, and a sign to slow way down. When I took those "measured risks," I mean I was also aware of when making a mistake would mean real damage to customers or the business--and thus potentially also to my own reputation--and proceeded much more cautiously.

Here's what it's NOT supposed to mean:

* Recklessness with foundational systems. For one thing, remember that it's a TECH maxim, meant to apply mostly to digital environments where code is easily deployed and rolled back. One of the teams I led at Amazon experimented with different kinds of email subject lines. If one of them had disastrous open rates, we could just pull it (or the algorithm would pull it for us). Yeah, it meant that tens of thousands of customers had received a mail from us that they didn't find useful. That's not great, because once you've trained a customer to ignore or even unsubscribe to your emails, it's really hard to get their attention back. But that was the price of learning. And it didn't HARM customers, or break their trust. And even in a tech environment, we would never EVER have played it fast and loose with, say, the system for storing customer data or managing employee benefits. The stakes are way too high, just as they might be with, say, safeguarding the nuclear stockpiles of the United States of America.

* Failure to plan. Even when you know you might break things, you try to anticipate those things in advance and have a mitigation plan. At Amazon we even tried to anticipate "dogs not barking," our phrase for unintended consequences that happen below the radar and so go unnoticed for too long. Did DOGE take the time to either ensure it wasn't firing HUNDREDS of mission-critical people or to have a fast rollback plan? Apparently not. (The nuclear scientists' email accounts were wiped as soon as they were fired, forcing HR to hunt people down one by one via personal accounts.) I also wouldn't consider these firings a two-way door. Even if your people come back to work, the experience of being fired (illegally, let's not forget) by a ketamine-addled billionaire who is ALSO operating illegally--and who the White House claims is neither the DOGE director nor a DOGE employee--won't fade anytime soon. The chaos and breach of trust are irreparable.

* Lack of coordination. Even in a rambunctious tech environment, teams did not take it well when some other team's code changes broke their stuff without plenty of advance warning. That's amateur hour, not to mention assholery. Before you fire the one locksmith for all of Yellowstone, maybe you give his boss a heads up and time to arrange coverage.

To be clear, I don't think Elon Musk and his band of young bros are TRYING to "move fast and break things" in the right way. Their goal is to destroy the federal government, not improve it, so they don't think they need to take any care. (Which is the Achilles heel of the whole Trump administration; instead of taking the time to ruin things in a legally defensible way, they proceed with all the finesse of thugs using Adderall as chaw and get smacked down in court, again and again.)

But they ARE banking on the public being dumb enough to believe that this is just how the wealthy, successful, super-ultra-modern tech class got that way. It's not true. So don't fall for it.

PS: also, THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT A BUSINESS AND SHOULD NOT BE RUN LIKE ONE. Would I like our government to be more agile and efficient? Absolutely. I think we all would. But a large bureaucracy will NEVER run like a corporation, and that’s not just inevitable, but desirable in some ways. Institutions are MEANT to be stable and predictable.

[bipedalseal]

Brett Schreiber, an attorney who has represented clients affected by the faulty software, said he anticipates another potential wave of litigation from Cybertruck owners.

“What we have seen perpetually with Tesla is the ethos of a tech company, wanting to push out product as quickly as possible, wrapped up in an automotive manufacturer, which should be far more intentional and thoughtful in producing vehicles,” he said. “This is not an app, this is a multithousand-pound vehicle hurtling down our roadways at high speeds.”

Source: What the Cybertruck’s many failures mean for Tesla. Written by Kari Paul. Published by The Guardian.

problems with modern engineering ^-^^

[harebrainedmage]

When talking about AI content scraping, it's stuff like THIS that immediately shows the need for us to use data poisoning against these models. Reminder that corporations do not ask nicely for something unless they think that they can benefit in some way. If you have a little sign that says "Please don't scrape all of my content to use for your corporate overlords. UwU" there are ZERO consequences for someone scraping that data. You have no way of verifying that your data wasn't scraped. And legal recourse, even if it was theoretically possible at some future point, is meaningless with such a profound lack of evidence.

What you can (and should) do, is, if you haven't already, look into data-poisoning tools so that there are consequences for someone looking to profit off of the backs of other people's work. Below are links to Glaze and Nightshade, two tools from the university of Chicago that help screw up the image-generation models that're scraping artists' works:

https://glaze.cs.uchicago.edu/

https://nightshade.cs.uchicago.edu/

These tools DO work, which is why you'll find tons of public-facing articles out there claiming stuff along the lines of:

"Data-poisoning isn't really a big concern, and like, we're TOTALLY going to figure out countermeasures for this guys. Source: Like, trust me bro."

But if you look at the research papers out there on the subject, it becomes clear that data poisoning incurs a substantial cost to the models that start swallowing the poison.

The only thing I have yet to find is a good way to data poison text without just putting random Chat-GPT nonsense in it. (I briefly considered using white-text on white-background at extremely small fonts, but this would screw up screen-readers. And I'm not aware of any other solutions that manage to be unobtrusive while also not screwing over disabled people.)

So if you're aware of any good methods, be sure to send some my way! In the meantime, start using glaze (and maybe Nightshade too) if you haven't already! Even if you're just reposting stock photos somewhere, or it's a photo of your dogs, or any other image you're posting! The more images you make into robot poison, the quicker these corporate stooges fold.

Hi, Tumblr. It’s Tumblr. We’re working on some things that we want to share with you. 

AI companies are acquiring content across the internet for a variety of purposes in all sorts of ways. There are currently very few regulations giving individuals control over how their content is used by AI platforms. Proposed regulations around the world, like the European Union’s AI Act, would give individuals more control over whether and how their content is utilized by this emerging technology. We support this right regardless of geographic location, so we’re releasing a toggle to opt out of sharing content from your public blogs with third parties, including AI platforms that use this content for model training. We’re also working with partners to ensure you have as much control as possible regarding what content is used.

Here are the important details:

We already discourage AI crawlers from gathering content from Tumblr and will continue to do so, save for those with which we partner. 

We want to represent all of you on Tumblr and ensure that protections are in place for how your content is used. We are committed to making sure our partners respect those decisions.

To opt out of sharing your public blogs’ content with third parties, visit each of your public blogs’ blog settings via the web interface and toggle on the “Prevent third-party sharing” option. 

For instructions on how to opt out using the latest version of the app, please visit this Help Center doc. 

Please note: If you’ve already chosen to discourage search crawling of your blog in your settings, we’ve automatically enabled the “Prevent third-party sharing” option.

If you have concerns, please read through the Help Center doc linked above and contact us via Support if you still have questions.

[macwantspeace]

Who knew accounting was complicated? Just like the default COBOL date entry where we got 150 year old folks getting checks [false], the Doggie Boys say a missing entry in one Code slot means "untraceable". But all the other payee, payment, date info is there. Article on daily kos is written by a guy who does business to government contracts.

[davidaugust]

“…the context of software and any context where life and limb are in play react very differently to things if one tries to fail fast.”

by me in this: https://bit.ly/BeingHumanInAgeOfAI

[waitineedaname]

I realized I made some notes on how different characters fight in mob psycho, and I never posted them. here you guys go, for any reference needs

Mob: mostly simple attacks, not very showy, just waves his hand and uses telekinesis/exorcizes something, doesn’t move around much. As ???%, much more destructive, psychic force seems to just emanate off of him and destroy everything

Teru: VERY mobile, throws himself around with telekinesis, puts his whole body into the attacks and tends to use moves from normal fights (punches, slaps, kicks, etc). Utilizes a variety of psychic techniques with flexibility, very creative. Piss stance, necktie sword. Much more flashy than Mob

Ritsu: uses powers to throw people/things around. While Mob and Teru attack with just psychic blasts, Ritsu tends to use his powers to grab other things as an attack (grabbing the delinquents and throwing them against each other, throwing the Claw guards against the wall, picking up cars to sandwich Shimazaki between them). Uses his environment creatively (fire extinguisher smoke screen against Shimazaki). More flashy than Mob, but not as mobile as Teru. Hand gestures for Drama

Shou: sneaky + speed + bomb!! Tries to be as evasive as possible using invisibility/speed (probably telekinetically enhanced?) to hit from behind, using either telekinetic force (his stomp in his introduction, the shockwave hit on ???%) or his charge bomb attack. Potentially uses speed/evasive moves as defense instead of the barriers we see most everyone else use

Serizawa: likes to channel his powers into an object (umbrella, business cards). Uses that object as a shield, sword, or something to blast psychic powers out of. Not very mobile in season two, moves around much more in the yokai fight. Not particularly flashy, but looks cool regardless

Reigen: deception/surprise!!! Either tricks people into thinking he’s going to do something else and then attacking, or just outright taking them by surprise and attacking before they know what’s going on. Usually doesn’t have a follow-up move, just does the one attack and hopes for the best. Prefers to bluff his way through a situation

[itwoodbeprefect]

one thing i have to hand to people online who leave reviews on obviously low budget westerns is that at least they don't complain that it's an obviously low budget western. it seems that i can't say this for some of the people leaving reviews on obviously low budget queer movies

[nightpool]

apparently my employer withheld 1 cent more of social security taxes than they should have. someone really fucked up their floating point calculations.

tax time how's everybody doing.

[momentomori24]

Normally I don't like calling out specific names when it's a large number of people doing stupid shit but holy fucking shit I actually need Limus to log off and never breathe a word about anything Hazbin related ever again

[deoidesign]

please take as much time as you need to rest and recover. burn out is so hard and takes so much to heal from. your art and your supporters will still be here when you get back :) take care <3

Thank you very much

Unfortunately, my situation doesn't really allow me to take the time I need. I've got a ~two month hiatus scheduled for my midseason, but much like my first hiatus I'll most likely be working double time during it...

It's unfortunate because I could really really use a bigger break!

Having the time and flexibility to work on other projects really fires me up and keeps me going, and being able to take a guilt free day off for family and friends is necessary to my mental health, and I've been having to turn people down lately...

This is a very kind message, and I'm sorry to vent in response! But I just feel transparency about the pressure I'm under is necessary and important. I'd love to take the time I really need, but due to deadlines and that pesky "needing money to live" I can't.

But, once the series is over I intend to take a pretty big break before I start whatever I'm doing next! I've got so many short stories and projects planned that I want so badly to get to, I can't wait to really get to truly dive in to them!

[ganondoodle]

so, my (not old) headset just broke out of nowhere (just randomly lost sound on the right ear and it doesnt come back no matter what i did with both its software bs and plugs)

can anyone recommend a headset with good sound and decent mic that preferably doesnt cost me more than 80€?

(broken one is a HyperX Alpha, i got another HyperX for work but its a different model and now idk if i should go for it again after this ..)

[keeps-ache]

why's all the colorful stuff always in the kids' options oTL

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[trashlie]

Thinking about what kinds of regrets does q-tip have, if one of them includes listening to hansuke to go to the party. Does he regret always expressing hatred to Nolan? Q-tip seems to still rather shirk away personal responsibility.

Thinking about how much does q-tip have trouble distinguishing conditional love with personal boundaries and breaking points in relationships. How much will it take for the rich loonatic to accept that he needs to better himself if he wants anyone to like him. What would it even take for q-tip to change for Nolan to accept his older brother’s a better person than before.

Would there be a new character who not only symbolically represents to q-tip the chances he wasted being an a-hole to Nolan, but a secret test of character to show how much q-tip grew? Like a small child q-tip has a chance to try again? Like maybe another small child who q-tip feels embodies the paranoia and insecurity that festers within the rich loonatic?

I feel shinae would be that second chance, especially if it’s true shin-hye really does have beef with her younger sister. Like the older sister acts like a jerk to shinae and q-tip realizes, s**t, i really was an awful sibling. I always made it about me. So, I’ll be there for shinae the same way Nolan was for her. I must be better.

Does q-tip deeply think Nolan will always stay and try to play nice with him forever, because the young boy’s love or desire to form a friendship with him that strong?

Will Nolan tell shinae that he bled out because q-tip assaulted him?

With q-tip in the hospital, will we get a shock reveal diagnosis, like what if yui secretly drugs him to enhance his paranoia, that’ll make the rich loonatic freak out even more?

I don’t know. I’m still waiting for q-tip to fall apart and go rock bottom bojack horseman style.

We don’t even know how q-tip will pay up for what he did.

Maybe he’ll step down? Maybe he’ll decide to have no kids so that the cycle ends with him, to ensure yui doesn’t level up to evil grandma. Could play into the theme of the cycle of hurt parents directly or indirectly inflict on their children.

Because even if shinae is the bridge between him and Nolan, the rich loonatic needs to choose to better himself before the breaking point of another relationship’s reached.

The thing about Kousuke is he knows all of this. That's what his whole conversation with Nol was about - he knows that he's an unlikeable person, he knows that there's a reason people don't like him and that they only reluctantly do because of WHO they are. From a young age Kousuke was well-aware of the privilege he was afforded for who he is and where he comes from, and that's a major part of his personal problems. He looks at Nol as being the one of them who got the best of Rand, the likable parts, the charismatic and charming points. And seeing that has made him all the more resentful, because none of that is him, none of that is who Kousuke has become.

On a subconscious level, he's even aware of his worst flaws. That night he got drunk in the club revealed a lot of how Kousuke really sees himself, through the lens of others. He so vehemently denies certain aspects of himself because he cannot reconcile himself with the truth: that he is rude and selfish and lacks necessary empathy to maintain relationships.

I think what Kousuke's bigger issue is that he doesn't know how to reconcile who he is with the role he thinks he's meant to fulfill. His whole life has been about trying to obtain Rand's affection and for a moment he'd reached a point of realizing it doesn't exist. But whatever he saw in the Bible - whether it was the fact that Rand carries around letters from Nessa (hence why he wanted to see the Bible again, he recognized the name) or something even more devastating to Kousuke (revealed in the most recent FP thus I won't write it here hehe) I think further broken him. Whatever he saw proves that this version of Rand, this affectionate, funny man neither of them knows does exist and that he just hasn't revealed himself to them.

The other thing about Kousuke is that he's, essentially, sacrificed himself all of these years, right? He's wanted one thing his entire life - his father's affection and validation. Anything else that he's ever enjoyed never became a want, it just became a thing he could shove aside in the quest for what he truly wants. It's clear from his beef with Nol that he does want other things - he just represses and denies them. He DOES want people to like him - but that's not the role of the Hirahara heir, is it? That's not what happens with people like them. Something I'm starting to believe is that Kousuke has to learn how to divorce what he wants from who he is - how does he let go of the ache for his father's affection when it's the root cause of who he is and everything he's done? What is the point of any of this if it doesn't culminate in being seen as good enough, as worthy enough?

Frankly, Kousuke alone cannot deal with his problems. In an ideal world, he'd go to family therapy with his father and work through that, but in an ideal world, he wouldn't have had to fight for his father's love in the first place. But that's the problem Kousuke faces - he knows how to be a decent person, and he's tried to be as evidenced through Shinae, but it's a struggle for him because his identity is so tightly woven with the way he raised. It's not as simple as to say "I want to be better to Nol as I have been to Shinae" becaue Shinae doesn't come with the same baggage that Nol and Kousuke's relationship does. Kousuke cannot have a healthy relationship with Nol until he reconciles what the issue really is: he is jealous of Nol and terrified that because of Nol he will never be loved by Rand, he is terrified that everything good only went to Nol, and that resentment is not something that goes away over night. Especially because Kousuke has that tendency of immediately rewriting anything that triggers that cognitive dissonance, anything that goes against what he expects. Rand assured Kousuke he wasn't in trouble, that he wasn't angry, that Nol was not Kousuke's responsibility, but immediately upon finding Nol at the Park's home, he jumped right into "Do you know how much trouble I'm in because of you?"

There is no quick and easy way for Kousuke to unlearn everything he's grown up to believe, all of the truths forged within him during his formative foundations. It will not be enough going forward to simply remember that Nol, too, has never met that version of Rand, that maybe that version doesn't even exist. Firstly, I think Kousuke would have rewritten that moment in a way that made him feel less uncomfortable in reflection, but also, again, whatever Kousuke saw in that Bible I worry could undo everything. I think Kousuke has seen a reminder that this version of Rand is real, it's just that (according to the beliefs Kousuke carries) he's not good enough.

Now, I DO think Kousuke wants to be better for Shinae, he just, again, is so out of touch, he doesn't know how to do this. I think if we look at the way he was raised, it makes a lot of sense? It seems he's always taken Yui at face value and not really questioned the lessons she imparted in him when he was young. He's never had to earn anyone's trust - he always assumes he has it because he is a person in power, a person to be revered. He has never been taught to earn ANYTHING because as the Hirahara heir, he's had it from the get go. How does he earn Shinae's trust? How does he reconcile his image in front of her? That's the thing that was so laughable about the otter plushie he gave her - not only does it demonstrate how little he knows her, it also demonstrates that he just doesn't know how to earn THINGS, period. The beaver represented something symbolic to him, but she doesn't know that. He has been handed everything he could want or need in life and he thinks that everyone else must want for this, because he has the good life, the one coveted by everyone. In his mind, a gift given seems to equate to something similar. "I am a good person who is giving you something special to prove that I am a good person."

But it doesn't work that way. Since it seems like there's no way out of her contract and Shinae will likely end up working with Kousuke (assuming you know.... there's no repercussions faced after this incident) I think that's when Kousuke will get schooled, but hmmm. Idk it doesn't feel right to me? How does that work when it comes to the time skips - it would mean significant development would happen off screen, and that doesn't suit quimchee's style, so I'm really iffy on this part, tbh.

The thing re: repercussions, too, is that Rand can push for them, but Yui is not a person to yield, and as it is, Rand wants to keep this whole thing hush hush, so I'm not entirely sure what to anticipate from that? Suppose he is forced to step down - a reason will have to be made, and that doesn't keep things very hush hush, does it? And again, I feel like Yui would easily be able to find a reason to block it. It's so easy to brush Nol's injuries off as being from the fall - which had plenty of witnesses - rather than go into detail about what happened. I guess the other thing is, is Nol willing to push it? No one but them REALLY knows what happened. Rand can assume and guess right but the whole thing creates a horrible fork in the road: either Kousuke gets away with it and Nol carries on believing that he is insignificant to Rand, or Kousuke is punished and he comes away believing that Nol does and has always mattered most.

This is where all of the possibilities become limitless to me lol because say the latter happens and Kousuke is held responsible. How does that impact his relationships? Now his relationship with Rand is further ruined, and that resentment towards Nol grows more. Or does he learn to let it go? Decide fuck pleasing Rand. Fuck pleasing ANYONE? He's such a hard one for me to gage because he just has so many unresolved issues and so much of it is rooted in Nol and Rand.

I'm also unsure if Nol will tell Shinae how it happened. I think it's something that is currently unspoken that she's probably already thought about. Without revealing too much from the recent FP episodes, she saw the state Kousuke was in. It's clear to everyone involved that Kousuke is NOT okay, that he's essentially in a state of shock. I think she might be able to deduce that whatever happened wasn't really intentional? That feels funny to say because Kousuke definitely went after Nol because he didn't want to let him leave like that, because he had so much resentment yet unspilled and was goading him into the fight but also his reaction to Nol bleeding, I think, shows that what Kousuke wanted was for Nol to fight back? like, hmm idk how to word this because it's not something I've fully made up my mind about but I think it's more like Kousuke WANTED Nol to call him out, because he feels so much resentment towards Nol, surely Nol must feel the same. It was that realization that this has been a one-sided war for so many years, that Nol never wanted the fight Kousuke did.

But seeing Nol bleeding, passing out? That wasn't what he wanted. Does that make sense? idk.

Anyway all this to say: I think it's not enough for Kousuke to acknowledge the kind of person he's been. His mental stability is fragile and largely held up by altering his accounts of what happens in every confrontational scenario in a way that doesn't make him uncomfortable. He struggles to accept actual reality because of the way it directly opposes what he expects and believes to be true. So how can he just up and change, if he's unprepared to deal with that reality?

I've always said he needs to fall and break to change, and idk if he's there yet. I'm worried about what will happen with him being in Hirahara Memorial, because I don't doubt Yui will, if she hasn't already been, be made aware of what happened, and maybe that's why Rand didn't want him to show up there? Not just because he would find out that that's not where Nol is, but because he doesn't want him to fall prey to Yui when he's at his weakest? Because Yui is a person who not only supports but recreates those accounts for Kousuke? I think as long as she is a player in this game, Kousuke's likelihood of change diminishes.

At this stage, I think it's very possible that Nol and Kousuke will never be brothers to each other, but my hope is at the very least for them to make peace. For Nol to be able to let go of that family and find peace with himself, without thinking of himself as damaged goods or baggage or a villain. For him to be able to let go of Kousuke - let go of the resentment and just live freely without him. But in order to reach that point, I think the only way for him to see change in Kousuke would have to deal with Yui. Since the chess game remains a prevalent them and Kousuke still plays for Yui's side, I think the thing that will aid him and Nol is if Kousuke is able to turn against Yui, and welp, we've established that's going to be increasingly difficult considering Yui is the only figure in his life who has ever shown him a sense of care, the only figure in his life that he has been able to safely run to. I know he knows what she's like, what she does, but when she's the only one who he has felt was ever on his side, that's going to be a difficult feat, isn't it?

(Also as a side note, when sending me asks, please don't refer to Kousuke as a lunatic. That's some pretty ableist language that doesn't sit right with me. Kousuke has a lot of issues, yeah, but trying to write it off as "he's just crazy/insane" or "he's just [mental illness]" doesn't feel right. I'm fine acknowledges all the ways the guy is messed up - he's got some pretty heavy trauma resulting from neglect and something that resembles PTSD but language like lunatic doesn't feel right - it feels very "this is a bad person doing bad things and I'm going to write it off as inane" and that doesn't sit right with me.)

[kicksnscribs]

So seeings how ai work still fucks me up at the mere thought of it maybe just maybe i can get over it if i vent my frustrations out on it here?