#but i really REALLY care about being able to make a living off of one of the few skills im capable of doing

[mono-dot-jpeg]

big sister - hyun ju

summary; a big sister will always protect, but when will she be able to relax?

genre/extra tags; one shot, found family, fluff, hurt/comfort?, canon typical violence, i dont like the second season writing, but i can not deny myself this diva, that's mother !!, teen! reader, hyun ju is the only reason i decided to watch this season, slight canon divergence bc i have the mind of a goldfish, canon typical sad heavy conversations, big sister is written to be seen as the korean honorific "unnie", older sister moments written in the point of view of a younger sibling, unintentional love letter for my appreciation to my sister, reader is implied to be some form of lgbt but not out (im projecting)

[platonic] [gender-neutral reader]

[warning; mentions of transphobic ideas]

a/n; before people ask, no, im not doing requests for this show. i just don't feel fully comfortable writing for squid game. i just really wanted to write this because, believe it or not, i write for my enjoyment. even i do switch off here every few months or every other month.

dinner had rolled around after an intense "game" of life or death. how you managed to survive this long is beyond you. but you might have a strong idea of why you're living so long, and it was the strong woman who was sitting beside you with some of the other women who were surviving so far.

the old lady had pointed out that hyun ju was not like other people. and it really was odd to her. but hyun ju was used to that. more than used to it. she lived through it since she decided to come out.

you listen to the conversation, not really putting your two cents in as it seemed like there was no right time to butt in. but as the conversation continued, the mood was just a little lighter. and that was more than enough morale. the old lady seemed to slowly understand hyun ju and her struggle.

you've zoned out so much, you almost fail to notice hyun ju sneaking an egg onto your shabby given lunch box meal. you look up at her as she gives you a warm look before pretending that she didn't just do that.

you mix the rice with not much thought, spilling some bits of rice and egg over its metal container before you slowly eat. unbeknownst to you, hyun ju glances back at you as if to make sure you're actually eating and not staring off with a tired look that no teen or child should have. you've seen everything, you're part of this sick game, she may not know your story, but she knows you don't deserve any of the bad you've been through.

you're the youngest in the entire room, a room filled with people with insurmountable debt and issues. hyun ju can only imagine your worry, your anxiety, the burden.

when the first game got serious, you were trying your damned hardest to keep your fear contained under the watchful eye of that robot scanning every movement. she was right in front of you, keeping you safe along with the rest of the people who lined up with her. you look like you wanted to cry the moment you got to the finish line. if she wasn't full of adrenaline at the time, she probably would've heard how hard your heart was beating.

somehow, she had taken two people under her care. you and young-mi. how could she not care about a young woman like young-mi and a teen like yourself? two anxious people forced to live a life full of debt and pain when you both deserved nothing but comfort and love.

people start lining up in their beds for nighttime. gi-hun was very insistent on being careful at night. it was dangerous. some people were not behind just killing others at night to sweeten the pot of money that loomed over everyone's head like a golden sun.

as most of the adults started to climb in their beds, you stand awkwardly. you weren't a stranger to sleeping a room full of people, but you were definitely a little paranoid after what gi-hun was talking about.

you find yourself naturally gravitating to hyun ju. her presence was just so calming, and she was so caring for others. it was hard not to get attached. young-mi had taken to calling her big sister. and you found yourself doing the same when you call out to her softly.

"big sister?" you gently tap at her arm as she turns to look at you. she silently urges you to continue speaking with a gentle look. you can see the tired in her eyes, but she looks at you, unwilling to say no. "this is embarrassing..." you mutter.

"it's okay. i'm here." she reassures you.

"can i stay with you tonight? i'm-" you choke a little bit on your words, not only out of embarrassment but fear. "i'm really scared. i don't wanna be alone." you confess.

she softens, "i would love to let you, but it's too risky. if people come for us, it would be very hard to fight back. i'm so sorry, kid." she opens her arm out for a hug, and you take the comfort you can get in this shitty place. "i will do my best to keep you safe, alright? when we get out of here, i'm going to find you again, and we can help each other, yeah? i'll protect you."

you nodded with her words, not finding the heart to say anything. she takes this as a sign to start guiding you into your bunk bed on top. at least the top bunks would be somewhat safer for you. you hesitantly climb into bed. "if a fight breaks out, hide. run. just be safe. i will find you, and you'll be safe." she continues to reassure you the best she can.

"okay. goodnight big sister." you whispered. "please be safe."

"i will." she said with a calm confidence that only she could pull off that didn't make you feel worried for her.

you hope that you get out of here, so you don't have to see the worried exhaustion in her eyes anymore.

she was a big sister by heart and soul. you just hoped her big heart wouldn't lead her to her doom. she protects and gives, but when will she relax?

[inkdrinkerworld]

same bday anon- i have a yelling req !!!

remus yelling at reader pre or post full moon and the other marauders don't say anything bc they're shocked, but reader thinks it's bc they agree? and then after a while they all make up and just cuddle<3 ofc if u don't wanna it's all good !!! ilysm baby !

I did it more along the lines of Remus having chronic pain than a werewolf thing :/ I hope that’s okay

You’re kneeling before Remus’ slouched body on the sofa, hand in his hair as you try to coax him to move.

“Remus, c’mon. You can’t lay like that, your bones will ache.”

You’re trying to get your ailing boyfriend to find a much more comfortable spot, his body sore and tired and the chill moving through the air wasn’t helping so much.

Sirius and James are in the kitchen- a bad idea but you’d wanted to try to coax Remus into some stretches and maybe a massage before they finished the potato and leek soup for supper.

“I can lay like this all I want, dove. It feels good.” There’s a snark in his tone, but you don’t let it get under your skin. You know how much pain he’s in when he has a flare up like this, so you brush his tone aside.

You run your hand down his cheeks, “Please Rem. I don’t want your knees to lock or your back to twinge.”

You’re as gentle as you can be, patient and understanding but you can see in your mind’s eye that way Remus wobbled and fell to the floor the last time his knees had locked.

“I’m a grown man damnit!” You flinch back from him as his tone shifts, your hand dropping from his face as you sit back on your heels on the floor. “If I want to fucking lay like this for the rest of the night I can.”

Remus’ outburst has gathered the attention of your other boyfriends, and you want terribly to respond to his words, but you can’t.

He sounds so upset and he’s so loud and you feel your chest constrict as you stare at him.

“I don’t need you hovering for gods sake! Go be a nuisance somewhere else.”

Remus speaks with such venom and he looks at you with just heat and anger in his eyes that it’s impossible not to believe this is how he really feed about you.

James and Sirius stay silent, shocked by Remus’ words just as you are- but their silence makes the shame burn hotter in your chest.

This is how they all feel about you.

“You don’t get to be mean just cause you’re hurting, Remus.” Is all you say as you stand, walking towards the front door when Sirius springs into action first.

“Poppet, where’re you headed?” He’s almost beaten you to the front door but your hand touches the handle first.

“I’m going for a walk. I want to stack stones by the river.” Sirius knows what it’s code for. You don’t want to say something mean back to Remus, you want to be kind even if he’s being an ass.

Sirius makes to grab your jumpers. “I’ll come with, you shouldn’t be alone.” You shake your head.

“You don’t have to pretend you care, Siri. It’s okay if you and Jamie agree with him. I just want to be alone.”

“Agree with him? Poppet we,” but you’re already out the door.

James glares at Remus who simply sinks into the sofa.

“You can be a real piece of work, Moony.” James says, hoisting his boyfriend out of the position he’d been in and stretching his legs long on the sofa instead of over its back.

Sirius moves to the living room again, “She was trying to help. Now she’s gone off to stack her stones when she should be tearing you a new one.”

Remus scrubs at his face, heat colouring his cheeks red. Sirius doesn’t let him off the hook. He can’t believe how callous Remus has been.

“Thinks me and James share your fuck off stupid sentiments when you don’t even believe what you said.”

James stops him from saying any more. “I’ll go look for her while you stay with him.”

Remus shakes his head, hissing as he stands; his knees shaky and weak. “I’ll go.” Sirius wants to stop him, but James knows if Remus doesn’t go do it now he’ll spend the entire time he’s home worrying himself sick and then won’t be able to face for days.

Sirius slaps his hands to his thighs, “Fuck off, we’ll all go. I’ll turn off the hob.”

They find you after you’ve already made four stacks of rocks, some with tiny rocks, some with huge slabs of stone.

Remus’ chest tightens as he spots you, your knees to your chest, toes wet from where you’re sat.

“Dove,” Remus starts to say as he stops right beside you. “I was an ass. I didn’t mean what I said.”

You just hum, looking at your stacks and trying to find more rocks for another pile.

“I hate when I can’t do the things I want because it’ll make me hurt and it was wrong of me to shout at you for just trying to look after me.”

You look at him when he crouched down, his knees cracking so loudly you’re worried he’ll topple over.

James steadies a hand on Remus’ back while Sirius procures a couple stones for you. His palm flat as he shows them to you, a little smile on his face when you take them.

“You said I was a nuisance.” Remus cringes as he heads the words back. He really can’t believe he’d been so mean to you.

“I didn’t mean it, dovey. The pain is no excuse.”

“Do you all think that?” You ask nervously, “You didn’t say anything when he said it.” You gnaw on your bottom lip, worrying it to all hell as you look between James and Sirius.

“You’re not a nuisance baby,” James says first, hurt that you’d even thought it was how they felt about you. “I know us not saying anything made things worse, but it was just shock; not how we feel.”

Sirius turns your face up to his, pinching your chin to keep your eyes on him. “You walked out before I could finish. None of us think you’re a nuisance, you’re the best damn thing that happened to us. Come home.”

Sirius is hard to have a stare off with, he doesn’t back down. But it isn’t that that does you in.

“Please dove. You can boss me around till the end of time, just come home and out of the cold.”

Remus sounds so chock full of remorse and when you look at him you find his eyes glassy. “Okay,” Sirius helps you stand, and you receive kisses from all three of them before you the river bed.

[avanzinisfirst]

dating sophia laforteza hcs

sophia laforteza x gn!reader

warning:

dating sophia is easy, she’s one of the most caring people to grace the earth and it definitely translates into your relationship

she has a secret list of everything you love to make sure she never gets anything wrong. the list ranges from your favorite candy to the most random comment you said one time about liking the way the sun feels when it warms your back

she’s constantly doting on you and everyone around her. acts of service is very evidently her love language

the issue of her constant selflessness is how guilty you feel when you realize that you let her do everything for you (she doesn’t care btw)

you constantly have to pull her out of doing everything for every one (including you) by asking her to be selfish every once in awhile. it’s something the two of you are working on

you and sophia have basically become yoonchae’s second parents since you constantly take her out with you guys when you’re just going to random stores or restaurants

yoonchae appreciates it a ton but she always asks you to not invite her every time because she wants you and sophia to have your alone time too

every night before bed sophia calls her parents just to say goodnight since it’s day time in the philippines when she goes to bed and you love hearing her speak tagalog as you lay on top of her

you know that she’s self conscious about losing her tagalog so you never comment on it but being able to just eavesdrop on her conversation with her family makes you happier than she knows

despite sophia having the patience of a saint, the one thing she can’t handle is a kitchen full of people when she’s cooking so you sit on a counter a little away from her space to be able to keep her company without being in the way

she always walks over once she has to wait for whatever she’s cooking to simmer or whatnot and stands between your legs to hug you while you continue to talk about whatever’s on your mind

girl is loud especially when all of the girls are in the living room talking so you usually stay quiet while they all talk (aka scream). sophia knows you don’t mind being quiet but she always looks away from the conversation to tilt her head and ask you silently “are you okay?” to which you always nod and smile at her

the other girls notice this little interaction all the time and make fun of her for it which makes you laugh and hide your face in her shoulder

sophia loves to kiss you when you least expect it and you always roll your eyes because every kiss ends up with all of her lipgloss transferring onto your lips which makes her giggle no matter how deep you sigh as you wipe it off

a/n not too bad right? i didn’t really know what to put or how much to put so i hope this is okay!

[miniscule-meow]

Isabell and the Lads (17)

Masterpost Wordcount: ~2.9k Warnings: angst, swears First Part | Last Part | Next Part (eventually)

It has only been two days since her… incident with Marcus, but Zeke seemed to pick up on the disconnect instantly. He came home after class that day, and it was like he could smell that something was wrong. He’s regarded her cautiously ever since, but he hasn’t said anything about it. His gaze has just lingered between her and Marcus, his brow knitting together as if he’s trying to silently solve a puzzle. To their credit, the humans seemed to realize that she needed some space, and they didn’t push the issue. Marcus has hardly even looked at her since that day, and he absolutely refuses to hold her.

Frustratingly, she has mixed feelings about the whole ordeal. She doesn’t know why part of her twists uncomfortably when Marcus pointedly avoids her. Getting a human to leave her alone should be a major victory. There’s just something so bittersweet about the whole thing, she can’t figure it out. It can’t be that she likes these humans. Tolerating them is one thing, but actually liking them? Looking forward to spending time with them? Craving the warmth of being held- No. That’s not it. The fact that she’s even considering it makes her insides cringe with the sense of her own betrayal. She doesn’t belong here, and she doesn’t plan on getting attached. As soon as she’s able to, she’s going right back home and all the entrances to this apartment are getting her signature big black ‘X’ across them.

That day can’t be too far off. Her leg has been slowly getting better now that the stitches are out, but she’s still stuck here for the time being.

She’s been taking stock of everything that she has and everything that she needs to get together in preparation for the journey back home. She wants to bring as much as she can carry back with her, so that when she gets home, she can finally have a respite from humans before having to turn around and go borrowing again. And since she’s in a position nowadays where she has humans just willing to bring her whatever she wants, it would be foolish not to get what she needs. It’s just a matter of figuring out how to gather supplies without them figuring out what she’s doing. If they suspect that she’s getting ready to leave… They’ve been nice so far; she’s just not convinced that they’ll let her go so easily. She can easily imagine what they might say:

Why don’t you just stay a little longer?

Do you really have to go? You’d be much safer here anyway.

 Of course, we think of you as a roommate, you just can’t leave.

Just let me take care of you.

Absolutely not. They’ve been nice enough, far nicer than she could have imagined, even despite the bumps along the way. But she’s not going to let herself become some little pet for them to keep. She just has to wait a little while longer, just until she’s ready.

The movement around her snags her attention, pulling her away from her planning. She’s out on the kitchen counter, Zeke had suggested they all watch a movie together. Marcus had tried to get out of it, but it’s growing apparent that both of them have a hard time saying no to one another. Hopefully, they can all just watch the movie, and things will smooth over on their own. Zeke is the sort of person who just seems to be able to fix things. It might be a lot of pressure to put on him, but to her, that’s what he does. He must have a plan, so she’s confident that things will be fine.

“Why don’t you two go pick out a movie?” Zeke suggests. He steps aside to let Marcus scoop her up and whisk her off into the living room. Judging from his previous track record, he should have leapt at the chance to hold her. Instead, he gives a noncommittal hum.

“You go ahead, I always pick. I’ll just make popcorn this time,” Marcus responds quickly. His words are so nonchalant, one might think that nothing was wrong, but it’s his quick movement across the room that betrays him. It’s as if he’s putting as much distance between them as the kitchen will allow. He’s not a very good liar, she observes. She shares a look with Zeke, both of them clocking the oddity of his actions before she just shrugs.

“Okay,” Zeke says finally, freezing Marcus in his tracks. “Would someone like to tell me what happened?” He leans against the counter in front of her, “Isabell?” he prompts.

“It’s really not a big deal, you don’t need to be upset or anything,” she responds simply.

“I’m not upset, I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on. You two have been weird the past couple days.”  She looks away, unwilling to respond. He blinks down at her slowly before turning his gaze over to his roommate. “Alright. Marcus?”

For a moment, Marcus remains silent, leveling his own stubborn gaze to meet Zeke’s. She can’t see the look he’s giving but she can see his jaw flex. Even from her extreme angle she knows, he’s displeased. Eventually, Marcus succumbs to his measured stare.

“I hurt her,” he says fiercely, “that’s what happened.”

Slowly, Zeke’s eyes drift down to find her again. As they do, the atmosphere in the room freezes. She avoids his gaze while he inspects her. She can’t even begin to chisel through the wall concealing his thoughts. Perhaps he’s wondering why she didn’t tell him sooner. Perhaps he’s just checking to see how hurt she might be. Maybe he’s just irritated by the tension that’s been sparking between them for the past few days and that’s all.

She can’t help but feel as though he wants something from her. She just shakes her head, unable to find any words that might satisfy him. His eyes narrow in response.

“Like, visibly? Or…” He turns back to Marcus, prodding for more information.

“Yes, Zeke,” his voice is clipped with irritation. “She’s bruised all over, and then I freaked her out so bad that she tried to jump out of my hands. I yelled at her when I caught her, so I probably traumatized her too. It wasn’t cute.”

Zeke’s stare finds her again. There is a dangerous intensity in his eyes now, and all of it is focused on her. She wants to tell him that it’s okay, everything is okay. It doesn’t even hurt, and she knows he didn’t mean to do it. But the nerves sparking through her make it impossible for her to speak. Not while he’s looking at her like that. She’s seen Zeke look at Marcus like this before, and she swore that if she was ever the focus of his ire that she would simply disintegrate on the spot. Now that she’s finally found herself on the receiving end, she can confirm it is every bit as uncomfortable as she imagined it to be. Her mind is static, her tongue is ash, and her lungs feel as though they have filled with water.

“May I see?” He leans towards her, keeping his voice even with notable effort.

Isabell knows that Zeke won’t respond the same way Marcus had, grabbing her and taking a look for himself. Or at least, she thinks she knows. That small seed of doubt is enough to confirm for her that it’s not a risk she is willing to take right now.

She knows how he got when he saw her bruise from before, the one that had convinced her that she had a broken rib. That one wasn’t even caused by one of the lads, and yet the way he stilled around her… the way he held his breath as his eyes took in every sallow green and blossoming purple that had printed itself against her side…. his rugged voice whispering, ‘is that from me?’ That bruise has since faded, and she would be almost back to normal if it wasn’t for the small smattering of purples and blues that have replaced it. She’s certain she just bruises easily. Marcus hasn’t been that reckless with her. Besides, she spoke to him about it already. She can fight her own battles, even if they’re against humans. Sure, the conversation was a disaster, but admittedly it had results. You can’t bruise someone if you refuse to even look in their direction.

She shakes her head insistently, gripping the hem of her shirt so tightly that her knuckles turn white. It’s fine, she wants to insist, but her throat constricts, refusing to let her generate any sound. Zeke studies her for a moment, long enough for her to fear that he’ll override her choice, and he’ll make her show him the bruises after all. Instead, he eventually breathes a small sigh.

“Okay,” his massive fingers drum against the countertop in front of her. “Marcus,” He finally turns his attention back to his roommate, his tone is deeply disappointed.

“I don’t need a lecture from you, alright?” Marcus snaps back, “I know what you’re going to say.”

“Well, it’s just that I’ve told you to be careful, I keep telling you to—”

“I know, Zeke. I know!” Marcus interjects, growing louder. Zeke doesn’t yield, his own voice raising to match him. Isabell’s hands clamp over her ears quickly. Zeke is always so collected, part of her didn’t think it was even possible for him to raise his voice. She was wrong.

“You don’t listen! She is the size of one of your fingers. Seriously, can you imagine how terrifying that must be for her? She’s already putting so much trust in us, you can’t—”

“I know!” Marcus repeats himself, finally fully shouting. “Step off! You’re being overbearing.”

“Over—” Zeke echoes with a sputter, visibly taken aback by this.

“Yes! You’re overbearing and you’re controlling. I know I fucked up, but at least I treat her like she’s another person.”

“Excuse me?” Zeke hisses the words, and the air feels like it’s been sucked from the room.

“You hover over her like she’s going to break if you look at her the wrong way,” Marcus presses on, apparently not at all concerned that he’s winding Zeke tighter than a spring.

“First of all—”

“Like, she’s an adult, dude. She’s survived this long on her own, do you think she needs you?”

“No. No, you don’t get to do that. This isn’t about me! You hurt her. You can’t just—”

“I know! I feel awful. She told me I was hurting her; I’m trying to be better. She doesn’t need you cooing over her all the time like a mother hen.”

“I do not—”

“Yes, you do.” Marcus plows on, hardly letting Zeke get a word in edgewise. “Yes, you do! What do you think you’re doing right fucking now?”

Their voices continue to overlap. Marcus punctuates his words by talking with his hands, slamming things around. Zeke remains anchored to the counter, his hand balled into a tight fist.

And then there’s Isabell. Stuck, as is becoming the pattern lately. She’s stuck right in the middle of this shouting match the humans are having about her. They’re fighting about her like she isn’t even here. She feels so bottled up, she finally just bursts.

“Stop it!” She shouts, maybe louder than she ever has before in her entire life. It has to be fruitless. How could a little borrower possibly cut in on a fight between humans? But to her surprise, they both stop. Right in the middle of their sentences, they just freeze. Zeke jolts, his hand that was resting nearby on the counter jerks away, as if she’s burned him. “You are fighting over me like I’m a toy! Just stop,” breathing heavily, her voice already feels raw. She was not made to be loud.

A muscle twitches in Zeke’s cheek as his jaw clenches. His sharp eyes bore into her now. He throws a glance back to Marcus, then with a breath, his expression smooths. His shoulders straighten, and it’s like a wall slides evenly in place over his feelings.

“I’m going to take a walk,” he grumbles coldly. She feels like she just watched him pack all of his stray emotions into a tidy little box. Before anyone can stop him, he’s gone, slamming the front door behind him.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Marcus breathes a heavy sigh in response. Then, the room settles into a thick silence.

“Marcus?” She calls out to him tentatively. Part of her expects him to storm off too, leaving her forgotten on the counter.

“What.” His response is sharp and dry.

“I just- I’m- I didn’t mean to—”

“Isabell, I swear if you fucking apologize to me right now—” he cuts himself off. Obviously on a jittery high from his fight with Zeke, he pushes his blonde curls back away from his face.

“Can you- Can you just let me get through what I have to say? Please?” There is a quiet desperation that leaches into her voice. If Marcus starts yelling at her too… Having humans yell over her is bad enough, she doesn’t want him yelling at her. Not again. He just nods, clamping his jaw shut and crossing his arms. She takes a deep breath, hoping she can actually manage to say everything she needs to. “I got scared, and I overreacted,” it’s a good start. Maybe most of her life could be described that way. “I know you don’t want me to say it, but I’m sorry. I am.” Now that she’s begun sorting through the words that have been jumbling around in her brain the past few days, they just keep coming.

“I mean, it’s hard. I’m afraid of humans. Obviously. I always have been, and for good reasons. But I’m not afraid of you. I’m not afraid of either of you, really. Not anymore at least. It’s just weird, because I keep feeling like something bad is going to happen. Like something really bad, worse than a fight or a couple of bruises, but it just never happens. You and Zeke, you literally saved my life. It’s not fair to you that I just keep expecting you to do something to hurt me. Logically, at this point, I know you’re safe. It’s just that I’m fighting every instinct I have to even just talk to you. Sometimes it just takes my brain to catch up with me, to go from, ‘Danger! This is a human!’ To, ‘Oh, this is one of my humans, it’s okay.’ I didn’t mean to make anyone upset. I didn’t want to start a fight. I’m sorry. Can we just be okay now? Please?” She didn’t mean to say that much, but it feels good to finally get some of that off her chest.

The enormity of what she said catches up to her like a freight train.

My humans.

She looks up at him, wondering if he noticed. Marcus is finally, finally, looking at her. His eyes are misty, and his lips are pulled into a wobbly smile. One thing she’s grown to appreciate about him is that you can always tell exactly what he’s thinking when you look at him. He blinks, and two tears roll down his cheeks, with more soon to follow. He definitely noticed.

Wordlessly, he offers her a trembling palm. She climbs into his hand without hesitation, hugging his fingers tightly. He pulls her right up to his face, holding her against his damp cheek.

“Bleh! Don’t cry on me!” She laughs, halfheartedly pushing against him. He turns his face, nuzzling his nose right into her middle.

“Sorry, sorry,” the world trembles around her as he laughs and as he cries. He moves her down to his chest, holding her close.

“Are you okay?” She rubs his thumb comfortingly. The irony of someone so small like her being able to offer any comfort to someone as big as him is not lost on her.

“Me?” He says with a laugh, though it’s followed by a small sniffle. “Yeah, don’t worry about me. I’m pretty tough.”

“And Zeke?” She asks cautiously, “I’ve never seen him so upset.”

“He’ll cool off eventually,”

“You really know how to push his buttons, huh?”

“Well, I’ve had a lot of practice,” he takes her over to the living room as he speaks, reclining back on the couch. “Zeke and I pretty much grew up together.” As he shifts, she goes from sitting in his hand to laying against his chest with his hand just resting around her comfortably. She settles into him, it’s like the bubble of fear that had been clinging to her has just suddenly popped.

Thinking about Marcus and Zeke growing up together makes her think about her brother. Her heart squeezes in her chest, leaving behind a hollow ache. If he could see her now… He’d have some strong words for her, that’s for sure. She really hates how big this world is, how she’s too small to fit in properly, how it’s separated her from the people that she loves, and how unlikely it is that they’ll ever find each other again. But right now, with Marcus’ warmth surrounding her, it doesn’t seem so bad.

She realizes that she might be incredibly touch-starved. Before all this, when was the last time she spoke to anyone else? Never mind the last time she hugged anybody. She has grown so accustomed to being completely alone that she hadn’t realized that this was something she was lacking. Of course, now that she knows, her resolve to escape back to the walls slips from her grasp, just ever so slightly. Enough for new, dangerous questions to creep at the edge of her mind.

Can she really go back to living all alone?

What have these humans done to her.

[vecnawrites]

Patreon Reward: A Ballsy Bunny's Cousin

Velvet has been happy with Weiss and Blake, although he has been startled by the sudden arrival of his cousin, Rumi, who wants to meet and 'test' his girlfriends. He just hopes that nothing bad will happen due to their meeting...

Velvet released a low whine when he realized that his cousin Rumi, a full fledged huntress and someone who teased the ever living hell out of him ever since they were little, had decided to come to Beacon after he mentioned that he had not one, but two, girlfriends.

His mother must have told her after he had called asking for advice on how to balance things. Though his mother’s idea of relationship advice was...questionable at best.

“Stick to oral and anal if you don’t want to be up to your armpits in bunny babies~!” was not the advice he was hoping for! Nor was the advice on how best to make girls scream! And he never wanted to know that if he really wanted to give the girls a ‘full cover glazing’, prostate stimulation was the way to go!

He had just wanted some advice on how to make sure one wasn’t feeling neglected over the other!

And now, he had to deal with this.

“So, I hear my sweet baby cousin managed to snag two girls for the price of one?” he flushed as he saw his cousin’s eyebrows waggle, her lips pulled upwards into a teasing leer. “Or did they snag you? Pin you down and ride you until those big, bloated, bunny balls of yours were completely empty~?”

He sputtered, wondering if he had been horrifically cruel to puppies in a previous life to deserve this type of treatment.

And there would be no way to retreat or hide from this. His cousin had always been able to track him down when they were younger, and even then, he didn’t want her wandering around and telling, or worse, making up embarrassing stories about him to other students!

“But don’t worry, I’m not here to embarrass you today. At least, not that badly~” Velvet’s ears twitched as he looked at his cousin hopefully, though that hope died the moment that he saw the smirk on her face. “I want to meet your girlfriends~”

~

Velvet found himself fidgeting as Blake and Weiss stood before a stretching Rumi, her incredibly tight armored leotard highlighting her form, making the male bunny swallow and shift, hating that even though he now had girlfriends, ones who eagerly emptied his balls whenever they could, he was still affected by her.

Ever since puberty had started for him, Rumi had gone out of her way to make his life a horny level of hell, walking around in skimpy clothes whenever she came over, sleeping only in her panties and on top of her blankets, showing off her large, firm tits, capped with dusky nubs that seemed permanently swollen.

Other times, when he was watching shows on the Scroll, she would plop directly onto his lap, her plump ass wiggling and rubbing against his cock, making it get hard in record time and press against her ass, leading to teasing that didn’t end until he fled the room with a hard, leaking cock and her laughter following behind.

Even worse was the time that he had been taking ‘care of himself’ and he hadn’t noticed due to his eyes being closed. After he came, he had opened his eyes and his heart had jumped into his throat as he saw her leaning against his door frame, arms folded underneath her chest and watching with a small smile on her face, leaving him mortified as she shamelessly complimented his cock and how much he came but that he needed to work out on how long he lasted.

He nearly died when she offered to ‘help’, playfully tugging her shorts down enough he got a glimpse of her pussy.

He was pulled out of his thoughts as his cousin spoke. “Now, while it’s nice to meet you, I’m afraid I’m going to have to make sure that you’re good enough for my little bunny.” embarrassment and dread filled him in equal measure as Rumi straightened up, falling into a combat stance, “So we’re going to spar. No weapons, no semblances. Just hand to hand.” a smirk was on her face, one that filled him with dread.

Rumi was strong, having focused on physical combat like Yang, though she focused more on leg work (which was why her legs and butt were so toned), but he knew that both of his girlfriends were not hand to hand focused.

But they didn’t look worried in the least.

~

Rumi Scarlatina was filled with a myriad of emotions. Happiness at seeing her younger cousin, Frustration at being the last to learn that he had not one, but two girlfriends...Jealousy, since she had staked her claim when they were younger and she was not going to let two floozies, one of them a Schnee, take what was hers!

But she knew enough from their builds that she was the superior hand to hand combatant, meaning she would win, and she could even drag it out a bit and throw them around some to ‘see that they were worthy’.

Was it right to do that? Probably not.

But it would make her feel better.

~

Weiss and Blake shared a glance, both immediately knowing that there was more to this than wanting to see their combat potential.

Say what you would, they knew jealousy when they saw it. Like how Coco had acted when she had found out that they were dating the sweet, big balled bunny.

Rumi was practically radiating the emotion.

But more than that, they noticed that she was packing a truly massive set of tits in that tight leotard of hers, her nipples prominent enough that they bulged against the front of the fabric.

Another lock of the eyes and they both smiled and nodded, a plan already in their minds as they took their own stances, prepared to show Velvet’s cousin the error of her ways, before their boyfriend’s eyes!

~

Velvet swallowed as he watched his cousin and his girlfriends stand across from each other, preparing to fight, and just hoping that he wouldn’t have to call the nurses due to injuries.

There was a tense moment, before all three leapt at one another. “HAAAAA-”

~

“-AAAAAAHHHHH~!” Rumi screamed, thrashing between the pin that she was held in by both Weiss and Blake. “YOU CHEATING SKANKS! FIGHT FAIR!” she howled, ears flopping as she bucked, attempting to unseat the pair who had torn her leotard, making her fat tits fall out and bounce wildly as both of them held her down.

She fumed, having not expected both of them to actually go for her clothes out of everything that they could grab.

And to make it worse, she hadn’t even managed to score a solid hit before being half stripped before her cousin and his girlfriends.

A giggle made one of her rabbit ears twitch, and glancing at them, her heart skipped a beat when she saw the leers on their face, making her wonder what was going through their minds…

...up until they licked their lips and lowered their heads towards her chest, making her eyes widen, her thrashing and bucking picking up strength and speed as she tried to free herself. “Don’t you fucking dare! I swear to the Gods, if you doooooOOOOOOOOO~!!!” Rumi’s attempted threat trailed off into a wail as mouths wrapped around her fat nipples, the pair not wasting any time and sucking hard on them, their tongues lapping and whirling over them, sending waves of pleasure through her, her hips bucking as she felt herself getting wetter and wetter, her face twisting as pleasure washed over her, feeling her pussy getting soaked, the amount of wetness shameful and turning the crotch of her leotard dark.

She threw her head back with a wail as she came hard, quivering on the ground between both Blake and Weiss, unable to do anything but let out the slutty noises as pleasure overwhelmed her, the powerful sucks to her tits threatening to turn her brain to mush by the end.

~

Velvet watched, his face a mass of red and his pants bulging outwards as his girlfriends sucked on the tits of his beautiful cousin, the white haired young woman’s hips bucking upwards, her thighs spread due to Weiss and Blake sitting on one of her thighs, forcing them apart and letting him see how dark her crotch was, seeing juices starting to slide down her thighs…

His nose twitched as a heady perfume reached him, one he recognized that was always around Rumi when they were at home, and it hit him like a truck that she was turned on around him.

His legs quivered even as his balls rumbled, the front of his pants bulging out a bit more as he reacted to this new information, his balls gurgling and churning as he watched his girlfriends sucking even harder on his cousin’s nipples.

A whimper spilled his mouth, lost underneath Rumi’s cries of pleasure, and he couldn’t take it anymore, his hands going to his belt and undoing it, pushing his pants and boxers down enough for his cock, clad in a ‘faunus strength’ condom, the tip already swelling as his precum filled it.

His hand went straight to his cock, beginning to stroke it as he watched, his breath heavy, his other hand moving down and rubbing his aching balls, seeing his cousin’s honey leaking down onto the floor beneath her.

A strangled growl spilled from his lips as he watched Weiss and Blake arch their asses up and shake them gently to add to the sight, even as they sucked harder on Rumi’s tits, like they were desperate for milk and Rumi’s tits were the only way to get it.

“Ahn!” Velvet gasped, his hips bucking into his hand as his cock erupted, thick ropes of cum spraying into the condom that he gripped hard. He held the swelling balloon tightly, knowing that if he lost his grip, not only would the clean up be hell, but both of his girlfriends would be upset at the lost cum.

He groaned, pumping out the whole load into the condom, panting heavily as he slowly pulled the latex off of his twitching cock, tying it so his cum wouldn’t escape.

Another scream of pleasure made his cock twitch, and he mindlessly reached for another condom, ripping the latex with his teeth and rolling it over his cock swiftly, stroking his cock again as Weiss hiked up her dress and Blake pushed down her shorts, revealing that they were commando, her hands reaching down and yanking the crotch of Rumi’s leotard to the side, revealing that she, too, was as daring as he had always imagined, soaking, drooling lips revealed to his eyes and pumping hand, even as she screamed and wailed from the pleasure of her tits being sucked.

Velvet didn’t know what was going to happen, but he also didn’t really care at the moment, either. All he knew was that this memory was going to fuel his spank bank for the foreseeable future!

...provided his girlfriends actually let that happen...

[cosmicjoke]

People always point out how Levi wasn’t willing to let Erwin become a monster as if it’s some sort of proof that Levi cared more about Erwin than anyone else, or as if it was only Erwin’s humanity that Levi wanted to protect. But that’s not true. Levi’s entire stated mission was to keep others from having to become monsters. During his monologue to the 104th during the Uprising arc, he says he’s willing to take on the burden of being a monster himself, to take on that role, and all the hatred that comes with it, as long as it means no one else has to. He’s willing for other people to think of him as a bad person in order to protect them from being bad people themselves, or from having to engage in the types of actions that others would label them monsters for doing. That was the entire core of his speech, in his attempt to explain why he was behaving so violently, not just toward Historia, but with Sannes as well, and in his ready willingness to kill. He was saying it’s fine if everyone there thinks of him as being bad or cruel, as long as it served to take that burden off everyone else. He was willing to be the "villain" in all of their eyes, and for completely selfless reasons. Ironically, that's what actually makes Levi a genuine hero. We see the same thing with his decision between Armin and Erwin, in Levi simply accepting the criticism of others for the choice he made without attempting to defend himself or paint himself in a better light. Levi doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him when it comes to being able to protect them. I know I keep beating the drum on the contrast between Levi and Historia, but he's quite literally the opposite of her. Selflessness versus selfishness. A contrast we see highlighted specifically in the Uprising arc.

It’s why we never see Levi defend himself against other people’s judgments. So many characters throughout the story tell Levi flatly to his face that they think he’s a bad person, in one way or another, or harshly criticize and blame him for things which objectively aren't his fault, and Levi always just takes it. Jean, Mikasa, Historia, Eren, the merchants in Trost, Kenny, Dieter, the 104th overall, Floch, Hitch, Marloe, etc, etc... They all at one point talk badly of Levi and Levi simply lets them. And it's not because Levi has no self-respect or low self-esteem. Again, it's because it’s a role he’s willing to take on for the sake of others. It’s a manifestation of Levi’s selflessness, and an extension of Levi’s role in general, of being a protector, preserving other people’s lives, fighting for humanity, not just literally, but in the figurative sense, fighting for people’s humanity. Levi really represents within the narrative the vital importance of retaining kindness in the face of an ugly and brutal world, both through himself and his maintained compassion throughout the story, and also in his refusal to let anyone else become a monster. Like I’ve said before, there is no better world, and there is no future for humanity, without compassion, and I think Levi understood that best of all.

[solsticat]

I always thought Tobias was at the worst point he was ever gonna reach at 12 years old. My last reread, I always pictured his life improving drastically once he was an adult (probably because that was the case for me) and had more control over his life. Although knowing what I know now about the sad realities for former foster kids (probably the most applicable real world statistic to his situation), I'm less sure. It's entirely likely he kills himself before he turns 30. Still not sure being an Animorph was overall better. (I know this post wasn't really that deep but I want to compare)

- We already know in a universe with yeerks but no animorphs, Tobias is infested, so I'm not going to go into that. Pretty fair to say that's worse for him than canon, and he dies at ~12 or 13 iirc. I'm just going to compare his canon fate to what his life might've looked like in an au with no yeerks on Earth

- What this does tell us is that Tobias is clearly vulnerable to joining a cult. The sharing isn't the only cult in the world. It is worth mentioning that Tobias realized the sharing wasn't what it seemed, and tried to back out (I'm not gonna find the exact citation but I do believe he pretty much immediately regrets getting yeerked, and even before he was yeerked he tries to run away when they try to push him in the pool) (Side note, this is related to the issue I always have with people talking about voluntary controllers. A "voluntary" who decides they want out isn't allowed to leave, they're just put in a worse cage. That's not consent. When most people say "voluntary", they think of people like Hedrick Chapman, who made a deal with the yeerks. I doubt that was really the situation for most of them. Most "voluntary" controllers were probably more like Tobias- got themselves into a bad situation, and were never able to get out.) So I do think it's fair to say there's a chance of Tobias leaving a cult if he did join one. He's a pretty suspicious person, and good at recognizing when things aren't benefiting him. The problem is that it's entirely possible that being part of whatever cult would be objectively better for Tobias than being with his uncle. So. Even if he realized what was going on, he might stay in the cult for lack of better options.

- Before the series starts, Tobias was neglected and (implied?) physically abused. He was also bullied in school. The loneliness of having no friends would've taken a toll all the time. I would consider that to be a constant pressure on him, while the ""worst"" (I don't like to gameify trauma but I'm trying to think of specifics to mention) occasional experience would be beatings from his uncle

- In canon, Tobias is constantly suffering an extreme amount of stress from the threat of a secret war. He's several times dismembered, shot, all kinds of things I don't remember (more so after he gets his morphing power back. The clearly stated ""worst"" thing to happen to him is his torture by Taylor in #33, and Rachel's death, both of which change him in ways he never recovers from. Maybe he could've healed more from the torture if Rachel lived, although who knows. Of the two things, I feel that canon Tobias would pretty clearly say losing Rachel was worse. I mean, she's the only one he doesn't sell out to make the torture stop. He definitely would've been better off never meeting Taylor. Would he have been better off never meeting Rachel if he had to lose her? I don't know. He may have turned out better adjusted; he had a chance to meet new people later if he had never met the other animorphs, but he was never going to lose Rachel and meet new people after that. I can't decide what Tobias would think is better.

- In both of the situations above, Tobias is pretty much responsible for feeding and caring for himself, and he is constantly struggling with his relationship to his self and his body.

- Tobias would've gotten a ton of FAFSA (financial aid for college) money, all things considered. He was intelligent and enjoyed math, I could definitely see him getting into a good college. If he made it through high school intact, he has a good shot of finding his people in college. IIRC he would've been that age around 2003, at which time mental health talk was... not great, but a university in California probably would be one of the better places to be for ill, visibly queer kid. This seems like the best outcome imo. He could live a relatively normal life if he found a supportive social circle in young adulthood and got a decent career.

- Alternatively: "Young men in California who were in foster care are 82% more likely to become homeless." 20% of former foster kids experience homelessness within 4 years of turning 18. 61% of those are then at some point incarcerated. These are recent statistics - I can't imagine it was much better in the early 2000s. All of this points to a very dark place for Tobias once his uncle kicks him out. And this is all assuming the severe bullying and abuse doesn't kill Tobias before he'd make it that far.

Wow that was a lot of unedited ranting. Is it readable? I'd love to see anyone else's take.

In conclusion: I personally do think former foster kid beats child soldier, assuming he sticks it out. I think he's tougher than he realizes. @thejakeformerlyknownasprince , any thoughts?

do you ever think about how if tobias had not become an animorph his life would probably be way worse

at the very least, it'd be much lonelier

[tumbloggingattheendofitall]

And not that it's actually going to stop anyone from coming for me I guess, but like. Not voting in the US this election cycle because of your disgust at the handling of the Palestinian genocide by the US government isn't actually the Great Big Political Statement Of Solidarity you think it is

What it is, is apathy. No I'm not naïve enough to believe that voting blue absolves me of the crimes committed by my country on the word of a bunch of out of touch oligarchs. But not voting doesn't actually absolve us of any of that either, and it only materially makes things worse for everybody, locally and globally, when we allow our political apathy to keep us from Working Towards Better outcomes

[mutalune]

hey siri how do I stop feeling gutwrenchingly anxious in the guilt way for using the treatment methods available to me to not be in constant misery

[flat-neines]

Ok, I gotta elaborate on this.

As a fellow arospec person on this hellsite, I think that both Tamlin and Nesta being different gradients of aroace could be more compelling than the trash fire that's acosf and Tamlin getting a LI.

Acotar as a series is thematically supposed to be about love conquering all but fails to deliver on that theme on so many levels and different angles that you can't actually tell what you're supposed to be reading. (I've already made posts about how the series fails bc it wants to have its cake and eat it too. now isn't the time for that convo tho) And it's a damn shame that the series that insists on "make love not war" sucks at delivering the different forms and kinds of love that people can have and actively celebrate it. Like. This is a romantasy. It should be the bare minimum. (But alas)

On nesta:

So nesta being ace is kinda obvious to me because she, at her core, craves being seen and cared for who she is and not what she can do for others. It's probably one of the reasons why she reads romance novels most often in particular (instead of "I Am Totally Repressed And Horny And Can Only Think About How Horny I Am" bs) because seeing the heroines being saved or loved by the ML no matter how "difficult" they are is an escape from the reality she lived as a human and currently as a fae.

Her mother and grandmother groomed her to marry well for the reputation of the family her whole life and when that got torpedoed when they fell into poverty, she believed that being married off to Tomas Mandray and becoming his wife would ease her sister's burdens. There is no excitement like elain had for grayson. There's not even any sensuality or desire that could be pointed to. Marriage (and now mating) and all the things it entailed was expected of nesta. It was her job.

Also one of the few times that we see nesta express her dreams for the future, she says that she wants to travel the world and make a name for herself. There isn't any mention of settling down. Or falling in love. I'm not really sure if it immediately occurred to her.

Nesta, when not dealing with her poor mental health, often just seems very :/ about her own sexuality and is deeply uncomfortable with people wanting her to be hypersexual. You can attribute it a lot to her being a modest person (and her history with sa), but I find that a interesting facet of her personality and its notable that one of the core things that she does to cope (poorly) with her trauma is to become incredibly hypersexual.

She swings from two extremes, primarily because she has never been able to set boundaries in any of her relationships, and when faced with such an extreme violation (the cauldron), she goes the opposite way; possibly thinking that it would spare her more pain than whatever she's currently feeling.

(It is also weird that author lady straight up implies that nesta's (whose incredibly modest) one night benders are a form of sexual self-harm and then turn around to say "its not really a problem for nesta" with her characterization for bat boy smut. smh)

The intervention makes this worse. By the end of acosf, she never truly establishes any healthy relationships on her own terms (sans the valkyries, but that can be dubious) and internalizes the idea that her needs and wants are ultimately secondary to the ic's desires, and that she will (should) only be loved conditionally.

I do believe that if nesta was allowed to heal on her own, she'd be too apathetic the ideas of "one true love" and mating bonds for it to be used to control her. She would also be impossible to be used to seduce other characters, like eris, as she would just refuse to do it.

We never get nesta being introspective on her relationship to sexuality because author lady believed it was inconsequential to what she wanted to write despite it being a vital component to nesta's character arc (and cassian's to some extent)

And also obviously, it would've been more interesting that nesta's story was about her love for her sisters and friends; how much of a ride or die she is for her loved ones as she learns to love herself instead of having to earn the conditional affection of a man who doesn't even like her. We were robbed.

On tamlin:

He's a bit more complicated because I think I read him differently from most popular interpretations of his character and many of his relationships (as it has been said by others) with the cast reeks of repression and comphet at times.

I'm not a huge fan of mating bonds, and the way sjm writes about them, the relationships are strangled by the bond (feysand in particular) or magical eugenics at best, which is, uh, not good.

So tamlin getting a mate, even at the end of a potential hea feels off to me, especially considering how fucked up and skewed like 90% of his relationships are in general.

His parents (the initial blueprint any child sees for relationships) had an unhealthy relationship with each other, with his mother standing by as his father abused his sons and just the fact that he felt so unsafe that he decided that joining the spring court's roaming war bands was a better option. As much as I enjoy tamsand (sometimes), their relationship possibly has always been unbalanced; with rhysand being the older, more experienced one between the two of them and then the mutual loss of their respective families (starting with rhysand's mom+sister) , which rhysand blames tamlin for and makes it his life work to torment tam for as long as he lives for that transgression.

This spirals over to what goes down in the books, culminating in rhysand telling tamlin to kill himself despite tamlin ultimately being the bigger person and saving his life when he had every reason to leave him dead and buried.

(I do believe both tam and rice were the age of majority when they became friends, but rhysand more than likely was a good amount older than tamlin. Tamlin also might've learned about positive relationships while in the armies; which is something to think about)

Then there's aramantha and feyre.

Both relationships are also incredibly fraught for different but interconnected reasons. Aramantha, a known sadistic general of hybern (and a slaver) pursued him and then cursed him when her (predatory) advances were still rebuked, even after stealing the power of the high lords, becoming the queen under the mountain.

Over the next 50 years, he slowly loses his friends as they're either tortured or sacrificed for the sake of breaking the curse (something he did not want to do, they left willingly) and is put in the position of world's shittiest trolly problem: find and use a mortal woman to save his people (compromising his morals entirely to save his people) or give in (something that would not work, no matter what the strawman might say). This is exacerbated by rhysand, who uses his limited position to torture tamlin even more for the sake of vendetta (genius move there, riceman)

Because of these factors, feylin is a relationship haunted by the shadows of the mountain. They love each other, the curse couldn't have been broken if neither of them loved each other, but feyre also died for him because of aramantha. Immediately afterwards he also has to deal with rebuilding his court with little to no support system, the threat of hybern (to both the courts and to feyre) and once again rhysand trying to get his pound of flesh.

What he did to feyre was abusive, full stop; but by god, this guy was operating on negatives. There is nothing that could've happened that someone wouldn't get hurt at the time and it is a testament to his character that he realized what was wrong and not only apologized, but actively tried to rectify his mistakes.

This is a bit incoherent, but I wonder how much of the latter half of feylin is tamlin also going through the motions of what a romantic relationship is supposed. Pre mountain, he was a lot more carefree, but there was always the sword of the curse hanging over his head; and afterwards ianthe was also pressuring him to be more of a "proper" hl, leaving little space to even process... anything. How much of his romancing was because he thought he was supposed to do this? Did he want to go through with the wedding, with how miserable feyre was or did he do it to bring his citizens own morale up while protecting feyre ?(in a completely misguided sense) there are too many moving pieces that feylin operates in that discounting context when talking about canon but..... we don't really have his pov to confirm or deny anything, ugh.

Before I end up going off on tangents, I do think that similar to nesta, love (romantically) wasn't something that he wanted but an obligation and duty he had to fulfill as a hl. Any desires he had were ultimately secondary to his divinely ordained job and unessesary. He values his friends and citizens deeply and there's a strong case to be made that tamlin subconsciously doesn't make the same distinctions most allos make towards romance and platonic intimacy, further complicating any relationships he has.

Tl;Dr ace/aro hc's for characters fuck hard.

I think we as a collective are sleeping on ace!Nesta and aroace!tamlin headcanons

[skrunksthatwunk]

found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

[kicksnscribs]

So seeings how ai work still fucks me up at the mere thought of it maybe just maybe i can get over it if i vent my frustrations out on it here?

[cleolinda]

AITA for banning my husband and father in law from the delivery room due to their intensely stressful/creepy behavior during my pregnancy?

There’s a famous Reddit post from 2020 where a pregnant woman wrote that her husband and father-in-law were a little too comfortable with their certainty that she was absolutely going to die in childbirth just like her husband’s late mother. It was to the point where her FIL was insisting that she go ahead and put all her clothes into storage, because she was obviously going to die in the hospital and it would save them the grief of packing up her things afterwards. Like. It was WILD.

When I tell my husband [that she feels suspicious of her FIL], he calls me paranoid, but I feel like my FIL WANTS me to die; his whole life identity for the past 35 years has been “amazing single dad” (never dated or had close friends or even hobbies really), and it seems like he’s looking forward to being able to guide my husband through what he went through. At this point, I’d honestly be happy to never see my FIL again, and I certainly don’t want him in the delivery room, especially since he told me he was “putting [his] foot down” about me not being “allowed” to have an epidural…. My husband, in addition to backing his dad on everything, acts like my due date is my death date, and has completely pulled away from me.

The commenters (and me, honestly) were convinced that the husband and FIL were either going to kill her outright to fulfill this expectation, or just make decisions about her care that might conveniently let her die.

And then she never posted again.

Over the last four years, people have frequently mentioned that post, always leading to a thread of people saying, “Oh god, I still worry about that woman.” I did too. It became one of those famous unresolved posts that people always wondered about.

Until yesterday, when someone on r/BestOfRedditorUpdates dug up a 2022 update she had posted on a different account:

TLDR; I had a beautiful and healthy baby girl, and I divorced my ex-husband. I lived, obviously.

She writes that she put her foot down about having her own mother in the delivery room rather than her FIL (!), and she WOULD be getting an epidural. Her husband lost his shit. And in his outburst, he let slip--

I admittedly lost my temper, and told him that I wasn’t going to die- it wasn’t my fault his father’s trauma wormed it’s way into his head, and that he needed to fix it without taking it out on me. He yelled at me that he didn’t need therapy. That caught me a little off guard; I asked him why he went to his therapist and was given advice about my death if he felt he didn’t need it. His expression gave it away, and he caved not long after. It turns out there was no therapist. It was just his dad. During the times he was supposed to be at therapy, he was with his dad. I’m still fuming.

And that was when she got the fuck out.

I’ll wrap this up- I’ve got an adorable little toddler tugging at my leg atm. I’m alive, I’m happy, and I’ve got my baby in my arms. Life is good.

I truly never thought we'd see a resolution to this, and I feel like there's probably a good number of people who remember it, so I thought you might want to know.

ETA: Brilliantly, I put the link in at the top; here it is again for convenience.

[philosophicallie]

my vitriolic hate for the parentals only grows btw. everything i overhear is in fact a big fat negative in our relationship

[cinnamorollcrybaby]

Shameless

Tags: dad!Toji x fem!reader, modern!au, nsfw, mdni, breeding kink, he calls himself daddy

Synopsis: You’re Toji’s live-in nanny. He wants to breed you, and he successfully does so.

An: This is my story on ao3!! You can read it here. If you’re feeling extra nice, a kudos would be cool too.

Being a single dad was hard. Toji learned quickly after his wife's death that he in fact couldn't do this alone. The way little Megumi's big eyes looked up to him for direction... him of all people. He was not cut out for this. Megumi's mom was a wonderful mother: sweet, nurturing, and patient. Toji really didn't know if he was any of those things.

Luckily, her life insurance provided Toji with a relatively comfortable life combined with his job in construction of course. Construction might be his vice. He got away from home for 12 hours a day, and he worked so hard that his brain was mush by the time he was home. Not that he didn't love his son, he did, but every time he looked at Megumi he saw his sweet late wife. He also saw his short comings as a father.

Babysitters quit on him regularly. It was always the same excuse. "Megumi's an angel, but I can't be here 7 days a week. I have a life too." It was incredibly annoying. They'd stay for Megumi but left due to another one of his shortcomings.

Another one quit. That would be the third one this month. "Listen Mr. Fushiguro, I know a friend. She does this sort of thing on a different level. Have you ever considered having a live-in nanny?"

That stupid girl's question enlightened Toji. He had completely forgotten that live-in nannies still existed. After getting her friend's number and paying her what he owed her for her time, Toji relaxed on the couch with little Megumi tucked into his side. The three-year-old was happily babbling next to him, enamored by Toji's phone that was in his hand.

Toji looked at the number dialed into his phone, and he sighed. He was tired of making cold calls to potential babysitters like he was some desperate whore, but maybe, maybe this would be different. He wouldn't mind having a live-in nanny. His house wouldn't mind it either. Toji would be able to finally breathe. No more coming home from 12 hour shifts to pop something to eat in the microwave and wash the dishes. He wouldn't even have to see this so-called nanny often. He could pick up more hours at work with all of his new freedom of not having to worry about pissing off the babysitter.

*** *** ***

Either way, that's how you ended up in Toji's house. For the past three months you had taken care of Megumi, cleaned and deep cleaned his entire house, cooked him plenty of dinners from scratch, and even did his laundry the exact way he preferred. His house has never looked better, and Megumi had never looked so happy.

Despite being here for three months, you barely saw Toji. He seemed to avoid you like the plague and only answer with one-worded answers, which was fine. This was your job, not your actual family. There was no need for extensive communications. Though, you had gushed to your friend plenty over text about how hot "Mr. Fushiguro" was. He was conventionally attractive, yes. But you also always had a thing for the brooding types, and dammit, Toji was brooding. There was also something to be said about how he came home in the evenings. A black wifebeater clinging to his skin from a long day of working out in the sun. His jeans would be dirty from the work he was doing. His skin glistening from a thin sheen of sweat. His hair was always a mess. Goddammit. It was enough to make you feel fertile.

It was early in the morning, Toji was getting ready to go to work. Megumi had woken up, crying for his papa not to leave him. He's going through an extra clingy phase. He's usually okay once Toji's gone.

"Papa!" Megumi cried as Toji entered the living room. You had Megumi in your lap, rocking him with a sleepy look on your face. His tears were wetting your shirt, but you didn't seem to mind.

"He'll be back tonight, Gumi." You shooshed him and continued to try to rock him and pat his back.

Toji's face was unreadable. He was never one to get all upset over Megumi's crying, but hearing his son cry out for him tugged on his heartstrings extra this morning. Then, there was you. You were a godsend to Toji's life. Getting a live-in nanny was one of the best decisions he had ever made. Above that, you were excellent with Megumi. You were sweet... nurturing... patient. He hated how seeing you with his son made him feel. It almost felt like maybe 2 kids wouldn't be that big of a deal. Maybe 3. One on each of your legs and another one swelling in your belly. God. He was disgusted in himself for thinking like that.

"I love you, kiddo." Toji said quickly as he leaned down, giving Megumi's forehead a quick peck. The toddler made grabby hands for him. It was almost enough to make him stay home. Almost. Toji's eyes met yours as he was still leaned over. His face was close to yours. The tension between them were palpable. The moment felt like eternity between them.

Then, a black credit card was in view. "I need new work gloves. Get the extra thick rubber ones, will ya? Also, get whatever you and the kid want. I'll be back late tonight." He handed you the card and sauntered out of the house despite Megumi's pleas for him to stay. You looked at the Amex black card and blinked a couple of times. Only the top earners in the world had cards like this. Toji was just an average blue collar dad... It made you wonder how he got a card like this.

You still spent that shit though.

*** *** ***

Toji looked at his phone on the jobsite. No one dared to tell him to put it away. Toji was the best most competent worker out on the field. He could work circles around supervisors and project managers alike, and he was damn smart. He didn't need a pencil and paper or a calculator to make quick conversions in his head. So, most people stayed out of his way.

He smirked and chuckled at the notifications rolling in from his bank. 78.97 at Target. 21.25 at McDonald's. 43.52 at Barnes and Noble. 9.24 at Starbucks. He was happy you and Megumi were getting to have a little shopping spree.

You were also great at keeping him updated. You sent him lots of pictures and videos of Megumi. He cherished each one of them, immediately getting some of them printed and hung up in his house. There was even a picture of you and Megumi proudly displayed in the living room. In his mind, you were an integral part of the family. The "family" simply would not function if it weren't for you.

A fond smile spread across his face as he opened his messages. A picture of Megumi's little hands trying to fit into his new gloves that she had bought him. Great. She got the right ones. "I think he wants to be just like daddy :)", the message read.

Oh.

Oh.

The twitch that just occurred in his pants should be punishable in a court of law. In no way should he have gotten turned on by that. You were just being nice. It was a normal thing for people to refer to him as "daddy" in that context. It never affected him in the way it was right now.

So anyways, that's how he ended up in the port-a-potty busting a load all over a picture of you that he had on his phone. After the shock of his orgasm that came quicker than ever, he looked down, disappointed in himself. He wasn't some horny teenage boy anymore. This was just downright deplorable. Begrudgingly, he wiped his phone clean from his sins. Post-nut clarity swirled his brain. He couldn't believe he just did that.

He called your number. He had to make things right.

"Hello? Is everything okay?" You immediately asked. After living with Toji for some time now, you learned that he doesn't just call people. He will absolutely decline a call to just text and ask what's up.

"Everything is fine." He replied, trying to hide his amusement. It was cute that you seemed so worried for him. "Are you still in town?"

"Yeah, Megumi and I are about to leave Starbucks and head home. Why? What's up?" You responded back to him. He could hear Megumi happily singing a song in the background.

"You know you spent 152 dollars today?" Toji asked as he popped his back up against the port-a-potty door. He had a lazy smirk on his face.

"Oh- crap. I'm sorry. You can take whatever you see fit out of my pay-" He interrupted your nonsense quickly.

"Do you think I'm poor?" His voice was amused, not angry like you expected it to be.

"What-? No.. no, sir. I was just-"

"I told you to get whatever you and the kid want. Don't come back home until your certain that you can't carry the amount of stuff you bought in one trip." He said quickly. His stomach was already coiling from how you called him sir. He grimaced as he felt another twitch. I just took care of you dammit.

"Oh... oh, okay? Are you su-" Click. He hung up on you. One too many dumb questions. You looked at Megumi as he strapped into the backseat of your car. He looked intrigued by the conversation even though you knew he realistically had no idea what was just said. "Daddy said we have to go to the toy store." You grinned at him. He was smiling and clapping over the word "toy".

234.22 at Toys-R-Us. 122.56 at Lego. 208.38 at Aerie. 88.21 at Ulta Beauty. Another 94.48 at Barnes and Noble.

The way Toji grinned each time he felt that familiar vibration of his phone go off, meaning another notification from his bank was off-putting. Workers on the jobsite never seen him so happy. It was his penance for being such a horny freaky fuck.

*** *** ***

It was later that same evening. Megumi was in the living room surrounded by toys and crafting materials. He was currently drawing all sorts of "shadow animals" as he called them. You would of course look and nod your head, congratulating him on each terribly drawn animal. You acted like that was the best damn wolf-bear-owl hybrid you ever saw.

You were in the kitchen cooking chicken and dumplings. The clock on the stove read seven p.m. You didn't expect to see Toji at all this evening. He said he was working late this morning. Usually, that meant he was dragging his feet in through the door until well past ten p.m.

Still, you made him a serving of chicken and dumpling soup. You always did. Even when he worked late, you would put him a helping of dinner in the microwave to keep warm. You never knew, but he was always delighted by that. He ate the dinners each time.

A key jingling in the door handle caught your attention while you were getting Megumi settled at the dining room table. Three-year-olds were so hard to manage: too small to eat by themselves but too big to be locked in a high chair.

Toji stepped into the living room with a small grunt. He smirked as he looked around at his destroyed living room. Toys, crayons, and pieces of "artwork" were strewn all about the place. He glanced up towards you and Megumi in the kitchen. He took note of how your face was flushed and surprised.

"Papa!" Megumi happily shouted before the little bastard ran from your grasp to go hug on Toji's legs. His dad smiled as he looked down at Megumi, and he used his hand to mess up Megumi's hair affectionately.

"Go eat your food, kiddo." Toji said warmly to his son. Megumi happily obliged and ran right back to his seat right next to you, and you fed him a spoonful of the soup.

"You're home early." You stated the obvious.

Toji would never tell you, but he left early because he missed you two.

"Don't sound too happy to see me." He remarked in a sarcastic tone.

"What-? No, I just.. would've cleaned up more had I known you would be home so soon..." You responded. Megumi was sitting beside you whining for another bite of food. You snapped out of your surprise, and you fed him another bite of chicken and dumplings.

"Why? I don't give a damn what this place looks like." Toji said with a small nonchalant shrug. He walked through the living room, carefully stepping over the toys. Before you had become his nanny, this was how his house normally looked: messy, lived in. "I've got a bowl of dinner in the microwave. My kid's happy and fed. I couldn't care less what that living room looks like."

Your heart fluttered at the sentiment. Toji was easy to please. He really just wanted what was best for his kid, and that was you. "I like making sure you have nothing to worry about." You replied. He looked at you with an unreadable expression. It looked like he might've wanted to say something, but he had backed out last minute. He hummed and walked towards his bedroom to shower the dirt, sweat, and grime from the day.

While Toji showered, you had finished feeding Megumi and yourself. You allowed Megumi to have about an hour of TV time before bed. He really enjoyed old X-Men cartoons. You turned them on for him and parked him on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket.

You hummed softly as you worked in the kitchen. You packed meal prep containers of soup for Toji to take for lunch for the next couple of days. Then, you were washing dishes in front of the sink.

*** *** ***

"I like making sure you have nothing to worry about." Your words repeated in Toji's head over and over like a mantra. He hadn't felt so... cared for in a long, long time. It made his heart feel full, which was an unfamiliar feeling for him. A less unfamiliar feeling was his dick standing fully erect and at attention. He groaned quietly as he leaned his head back in the shower.

Something had to be in the air recently. He was a grown man with desires, sure. But this was a new record for him. Ever since you started being a live-in nanny for him, the boners were a daily thing. Hell, twice or three times a day sometimes. He's tried everything... Well, okay, maybe not everything, but he's tried cold showers and staying away from you. Neither of those things work to soothe him.

His hand was gliding up and down his length for the second time today. He was facing the shower wall with his arm propped up on it, supporting his head. Damn you for making him feel like a slave to his desires. You wanted to make sure he had nothing to worry about? Then, you should be the one in here fixing this damn mess, not him. He pitifully rutted into his hand, imaging he's plunging deep into you. Imagining the multiple ways he'd fuck the hell out of you is the only thing that soothes the ache, but this time he didn't see an end in sight.

He gritted his teeth together, and he balled up his fist, rearing back before stopping himself. He's not a teenager anymore. He can't punch walls. He took a deep breath and turned the shower off. No, this won't do. He needs to fix this at the source.

After quickly drying off and getting dressed, he walked back into the kitchen. His eyes scanned over the house. Megumi was enthralled by the TV, and you were washing dishes. Perfect.

He slowly approached you from behind. He could tell you didn't hear him as you were still softly humming. Usually, you would stop humming if he entered the kitchen. He never understood why. The sounds of your melancholic hums were beautiful and soothing to him.

He was directly behind you, and his hands gently cupped your hips. You immediately flinched and made a soft scream that was quickly silenced by one of his hands. "Shh, we don't want to disturb the little brat, do we?" Toji said into your ear. His warm breath ghosted over the shell of your ear, making you shiver.

Toji's eyes flicked over towards the living room. Megumi hadn't moved an inch. Perfect.

Toji slowly released your mouth. To his delight, you didn't make a sound. He could hear how your breath was slightly labored from him scaring you. A small chuckle rose from his throat. His hands went back to your hips, and he pressed himself against your voluptuous ass. A hum of approval escaped him. He could see your hands gripping the countertops.

"Nod your head. You like this? Want me to keep pressing myself against you?" Toji whispered into your ear. You took your bottom lip between your teeth, and you nodded your head eagerly, giving him consent.

"Dirty fucking girl." His voice was like a growl in your ear as he started to move his hips, dragging his length up and down along you. You could feel each inch of his length beckoning for you. "I knew you'd take whatever I gave you, but this? Letting me grind against you like a pathetic teenager while my son is in the living room? You're such a fucking slut." His hands were digging into your hips as he continued his controlled motions.

"Mnn.. fuck.." You softly whimpered out. Thank god the X-Men were currently in a loud fight scene.

You slightly frowned as you suddenly didn't feel Toji behind you anymore. You were about to turn around and ask what he was doing, but his fingers curling into the waistband of your leggings told you everything you needed to know. "Toji-" You managed to whisper out. No way could you two do this while Megumi was in the next room over.

"Shut up." Toji interrupted you. He had taken his throbbing length out of his sleeping pants, and he had a look of concentration on his face as he angled himself right at your entrance. "You have no fucking idea how long I've needed this. So just be a good girl, shut up, and take what I give you."

Direct orders from your boss. Who were you to deny the man who just spoiled you all day today?

It was a tight fit. Toji wasn't a gentleman. He didn't prep you with his fingers or mouth. This wasn't love making. It was hardly fucking. This was fulfilling a need.

"God... fuck. I didn't expect you to be that tight." He growled into your neck as he held your hips still against him. It felt like he was splitting you apart. You couldn't even respond to him.

He noticed how tightly you were gripping the counter and how you weren't responding to him. Your knuckles were turning white. He almost felt guilty. His hand came around the front of you, and he gently rubbed the swollen bundle of nerves. "Shhh... You can take it. I know you can." He whispered into your ear as it was taking every last shred of self-restraint not to fuck you into oblivion right on this counter. He slowly pulled back until just his tip was inside, and he pushed all the way back in. "That's it. There's my good girl." He praised in your ear. It was not lost on him that he felt you get wetter with each praise.

He hesitated, but he said it anyway, "You wanna be a good girl for daddy, don't you?" He whispered into your ear. That phrase made you tremble in his arms and nod your head. He slowly pulled back out and pushed right back in, taking you slowly. "That's right... hngh, fuck." He moaned into your ear. "You want to be fucked by daddy. You want to take his cock like a good girl. Take it." His hips started to move with more conviction.

You were already so out of it. This was like a dirty fantasy come true. You couldn't help but check the TV a few times to make sure X-Men was still playing. You were still worried that Megumi might run in here for whatever reason and see you bent over in front of his dad. You knew it was unlikely. Megumi could watch that TV like a zombie all day if you let him. Besides, you would be able to hear the small pitter-patter of his footsteps.

"Stop looking at the fucking TV. Trust me." Toji growled into your ear as he forced your hips down onto him roughly. A noiseless gasp escaped you. He wasn't small, and he knew that. He was using it to his advantage.

"Fuck." He groaned quietly as he rubbed you with a bit more fervor. You could already feel that familiar warm feeling coiling in your stomach. "I'm going to fuck a baby into you. You were fucking made for this. Made for raising my kids and taking my fucking load." He was spewing nonsense into your ear, but in the moment, you couldn't help but nod and moan. "You were made for me." He proclaimed as his hips continued harshly snapping into your backside. Somehow the sounds were masked.

"You want that, don't you?" He asked as he bit down on your neck then lapped at the bite mark with his tongue.

"Yes, daddy!" You quietly exclaimed. His thrusts only increased in power. Your eyes started to cross, getting lost in pleasure.

"Fuck. You're gonna look so perfect pregnant with my baby. I won't let you have a break. As soon as one comes out; I'm puttin' another one in you." He continued on yapping about how many kids he was going to pump into you. "I'll breed you again and again." His thrusts were heavy and brutal. You couldn't take it anymore.

He moaned as he felt you clenching around him, finishing all over his cock. It was enough to drive him overboard. He pumped you full of cum until you were sure some of it was seeping out.

There was a peaceful moment of dizzy highness for you two. Toji panted against your back. For the first time in while, he's felt satisfied. A soft amused laugh escaped him as he heard the iconic X-Men episode coming to an end. He swiftly pulled out of you, and he tried to ignore that little whimper of protest you let out. He tucked himself back into his pants, and he pulled your leggings and panties back up for you since you were still a trembling mess over the counter.

"Alright Kiddo, c'mon. Time for bed." Toji said as he sauntered off into the living room as if he didn't just rearrange your guts. He put Megumi to bed that night, and he cleaned up the living room for you, allowing for you to recover in his bed for round two. He was much more of a gentleman for round two.

*** *** ***

"Hey... I know I ain't been to see you in a while. I'm sorry." Toji said as he sat down on the grassy ground. "I was letting life pass me by for too damn long." He said as he took a wet washcloth and began to wash up his late wife's gravestone. "I'm doing better now, so don't worry about me."

"Megumi's growing like a weed. I'm sorry I didn't bring him to see you... I just don't know how to explain it to him." Toji's voice was full of guilt as he dragged the wet washcloth against the stone. "He's a good kid though. He looks just like you, damn bastard." He softly laughed, knowing his wife would've struck him over the side of the head for calling Megumi a damn bastard.

"Listen... I met a girl." He leaned his head over the gravestone. It had been close to three months since you and Toji started sleeping together. There wasn't a formal label to your relationship, but it didn't feel necessary. You two both knew you were sleeping exclusively with each other. "I think you'd like her, or maybe you wouldn't since she's fucking your husband. But either way... I-" He choked up a bit as he held onto the cold stone. "I feel so fucking guilty... I know you're not coming home anytime soon, but I just... I need your blessing. If you can somehow hear me, please... I never asked you for anything until I asked you to marry me. Now, I'm asking... please somehow show me you approve of this."

"She's good for me... She takes good care of Megumi. He's so damn attached to her somedays." Toji softly laughed as he remembered how a few nights ago Megumi crawled into bed with you and him because he had a nightmare. Instead of taking to Toji like he normally does, he crawled into your arms. Toji had never felt so damn proud and slighted at the same time.

"I should get going. Give me a sign though.. Something that tells me you approve." He finished his visit with his wife, and he went home.

*** *** ***

That night at dinner, Megumi sped into the kitchen with an action figure in his hand. He was pretending to be Batman. "Gumi, I've told you three times. Stop running." You said as you gave the small child a look. Toji smirked as he knew that look good and well. It was the look a mom gave as a warning. Megumi was on his last warning.

"I'm sorry, mama." Megumi apologized, causing for both you and Toji to freeze right in your tracks. Megumi had never called you mama before. He always said your name.

Your heart swelled in your chest. It was a feeling of affection and guilt. "Oh no... baby.." You said softly as you took his hand. You lead him into the living room, and you crouched down, showing him a picture of his mom to him. "That's mama." You gently corrected him.

Toji watched the scene like a hawk from the dinner table. His heart was pounding in his chest. He had never been shy about telling Megumi who his mom was, but he hadn't exactly been forthcoming about how his mom passed away when he was a small baby.

Megumi pointed at the picture. "Mama." He said quietly. You nodded and patted his head.

"That's right." You praised affectionately. He then turned his attention to you. and he poked your chest with his tiny finger.

"Mama." He said, pointing at you.

"No-"

"It's alright." Toji spoke up from his seat at the dinner table.

"I don't want him to be confused..." You replied as you slowly stood back up, looking at Toji.

"He doesn't sound confused to me." He retorted with a small grin. You turned your attention back to Megumi, and Toji looked up towards the ceiling. "Thank you." He muttered so quietly before kissing the necklace that hung around his neck. He had his wife's blessing. This proved it.

After finishing his dinner, Toji joined you two in the living room. You and Megumi were curled up on each side of his while watching that old X-Men cartoon. Suddenly, Megumi rose from the couch. You and Toji watched him with a hint of confusion.

"What is he doing?" You softly asked Toji as Megumi bent over, and he looked between his legs at both you and Toji.

"I have no fucking id-" He was about to respond, but then, it hit him. "Get up." He said as he stood up from the couch. He quickly grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet like a madman.

"What? What? Is something wrong?" You asked as you had never seen Toji move this fast. You quickly got up too.

"Nothing's wrong. Come on. We're going to the store." He grunted as he swooped Megumi into his arms.

You were confused and in denial when Toji bought a pregnancy test and made you take it. Now, both of you were waiting outside of the bathroom for the five minutes to be over. "This is crazy, Toji. I'm not pregnant."

"It's an old wives' tale. When babies do that, it's supposed to mean their looking for their sibling." Toji said with a nonchalant shrug as if what he said was matter-of-fact. "My mother told me that's how she knew she was pregnant with me."

The timer went off on his phone, and both of you fought to get into the bathroom first. He eventually overpowered you and snatched the pregnancy test off the counter quickly. "Oh." He said quietly. The room went still.

Suddenly, your heart was racing. "What is it? Is it negative?" You asked a hint of disappointment hit you. You didn't know why, but a small part of you hoped for it to be positive.

"Oh, you're fucking getting it tonight." Toji smirked as he turned the pregnancy test over. Two pink lines were clear as day on the test. You're pregnant.

Tags: @lemonlimecrystal-blog @theuniversesnepobaby

[babyboy555777]

Overheard

Summary: Rafe over hears you and Sarah talking about your night at the beach with a hookup.

CW: possessive Rafe, rough sex, name calling, unprotected sex (wrap before tap), bit of choking and hair pulling, forced to stay quiet, mirror sex. (Should be it)

(Did not proofread bc this took me so long already.)

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You and Sarah had been friends for years. You moved to Outer Banks as a child and took quite a liking to Sarah and her family. You were always known to drop in whenever you felt needed. You shared many nights at their house and basically became a part of the family.

On this specific day it was like any other. You hopped in your jeep and quickly sped off to Tannyhill. Soon arriving in the circle driveway of the mansion you quickly got out and headed to the door knocking loud, so you were heard.

The door was swung open by none other than the snarky stuck-up brother of your best friend, Rafe Cameron. “You don’t have to knock.” He sighed “you basically live here anyway.” He scolded you. You pushed past him and into the entrance way of the house.

“Where’s Sarah?” Rafe shut the door and then pointed up the stairs to her room. “Where she always is waiting for you.” You nodded your head at him giving him one last look before making your way up to her room. He watched as you quickly sprinted up the stairs. Watching as your hips moved and how your ass was in perfect view.

He shook his head relieving the thought of you knowing how wrong it was. Soon he made his way up the stairs as well to his own room that was until he heard you talking in a not so quiet voice to his sister.

"I wouldn't say it was awful, just not what I wanted." Sarah cocked a brow to you. "Well, what did you want. I mean you wanted to have sex with him, right? What more could you want. You practically begged me for his number." She chuckled.

"Yes, I did." Rafe moved closer to the crack in the door leaning his ear closer. He listened closely to your words. "What does she mean" he thought to himself.

Yes, Rafe knew you, but he thought he knew you well enough. He never saw you as the type to beg for sex with someone, or much less really want it.

In his head you always were the type to never come off as sexual but definitely not innocent. He truly just thought that in this world full of sex you had no idea what you were doing or had any care for it, and he was so wrong.

"Okay yes I wanted it. Like the party last week, I wanted to just be dragged off with him somewhere because I thought he'd fuck the shit out of me. See that's what I wanted." You crossed your arms and huffed.

"Okay, then what happened that you didn't like? Was it the fact it was on the beach or like what?"

"I guess the best way I could put it is I wanted it to me more filled with lust and desire. I wanted it to be rough and I wanted to not be able to walk today." You chuckled along with Sarah.

"Well how did it go for you?" You sighed trying to think back to last night. "Well, he took me out on the beach, and he had a blanket with him. Talking happens and whatever and I end up straddling his lap."

Sarah nodded her head waiting for you to continue, but Rafe stood out the door as he held his breath. He was pissed. You fucking some other man and he didn't even do it right pissed him off more. But he stayed quiet.

"We made out a bit and I started to grind on him a bit. Obviously, he got a rise up, so I got all cocky and pulled his dick out. After a few moments of me just doing my thing, I pulled my bikini bottoms off and rode him. He was like..." You paused trying to find your words.

"It was like he never wanted it to end and not saying I don't like that, but I asked if he could get on top and we'd go faster he just straight up refused. Which basically dried me up and I didn't even want to do it anymore."

Sarah tried to hold back her laughter. "Hey, it's not funny I'm being dead serious." You smacked her arm but laughed as well.

Rafe was the only one not laughing. Red filled his face with anger, and he scoffed at your words. "Didn't even fuck her the way she wanted. What a pussy." He thought.

"Well maybe you'll find someone who just rocks your world." Sarah smirked. "Yeah, as if." But only if you knew what little plan Rafe had planted into his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That same day you had planned on staying the night with Sarah. Of course, to everyone in the house it was no surprise. It was now late at night and Sarah was asleep. However, you sat awake in her bed scrolling mindlessly on your phone till a text popped up.

"Come here."

You read the text from Rafe. Confusion spread across your face. You texted back.

"Sarahs asleep. Where are you?"

"My room. Just come here you won't wake her, she's a heavy sleeper."

You sighed and turned off your phone placing it on the nightstand beside you. Slowly you rose up from the bed making your way to the bedroom door making sure to stay as quiet as possible.

You looked back at Sarah one last time before closing the door. You slowly tiptoed your way down the hall to Rafe's room. You raised your hand to the door knocking slow and quiet. Soon Rafe opened up the door nodding his head telling you to come in.

As you walked in you looked around the room that was dimly lit by the small lamp setting you realized you had never seen Rafe's room before. "I have never been in here." You turn back and look at him leaning up against the door. "Cleaner than I thought." You chuckled.

He shrugged. "Don't know why you'd ever think that. I believe I come off as a clean person." He paused. "Unlike you." You looked at him confused for a moment as he stepped closer to you, his rich cologne filled your nostrils.

"I heard you. Talking to my sister earlier today." He walked behind you. "How you wanted to be fucked hard." He leaned in closer to your ear whispering. "How you want it to be filled with lust and desire."

His words sent chills down your spine and your own words choked up. "So, fucking dirty and here I was thinking you didn't care about these things." His hands slowly made their way to your hips giving a slight squeez.

"Rafe..." You spoke barley above a whisper. He smirked against your neck placing a small kiss right below your ear. "Is that what you want? To be fucked like the whore you are?"

Your legs squeez together trying to release some of the tension that was building up. You let out a shaky breath as one of his hands trail down to the waistband of your sleep shorts.

"Is this what you want?" He whispered. You nodded your head squeezing your eyes shut as he played with the waist band. "Words."

"Yes, I want this." He slid his hands down your shorts. Two of his fingers rubbed against your folds. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in. He rubbed circles around your clit as your hips moved forward chasing his touch.

You let out a small moan and immediately Rafe slaps his hand onto your mouth. "What you want the whole house to hear? As much as I'd love to hear your pretty little moans you need to keep quiet."

You nodded your head frantically. "Good girl." Rafe then removes his hand from you making you whine at his loss of touch. He stepped back from you grabbing your hand and leading you to the bed. He pushed you down on the bed and you let out a gasp.

He crawled on top of you and basically ripped off your clothes and his throwing them on the floor. Rafe started to kiss your neck earning a small gasp to leave your lips.

"Rafe please..." you whine out. "What do you want?" He smirked against your neck. The words couldn't seem to leave your lips as he left a bite on your sweet spot right below your ear.

"Don't go quiet on me now." He rose up to look at you. "Tell me what you want." You started to bite your lip at the sight of him. The sly smirk planted across his face. His shoulder muscles showing more featured as he held himself up.

"Fuck me Rafe...." As soon as the words slipped from your lips it felt like sweet honey on his tongue. He spread your legs open, and you wrapped them around his waist trying to pull him in.

"So needy?" He chuckled making you want him even more. "Rafe..." You breathed out. "Words sweetheart." He smirked once again. "Rafe please fuck me." Your wish was his command.

He lined himself up to you and without warning slammed into you making you let out a loud cry. He quickly slapped his hand over your mouth. "Shut the fuck up." He groaned out.

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as he thrusted into your cunt hard and fast. "You feel so fucking good. Holy shit." His words were breathless as if he blurted them out of pure pleasure.

His hand still planted on your mouth as the other held your waist tightly. You threw your head back at all the new pleasure rising in you. Rafe looked down at you smirking at the absolute complete mess you were in this moment.

"You like how I fuck you. I bet that pussy boy could never be like this with you." You moaned against his hand as the words leaped off his tongue.

As Rafe pounded into you harder and faster the headboard started to move. He let go of your waist grabbing the board holding himself up as he stayed covering your mouth. You watched his muscles tensed and sweat glistened on his body.

All the pleasure plus the view of him really added onto you forgetting about your shitty hookup. "Fuck..." He groaned out throwing his head back and closing his eyes.

In an instant Rafe grabbed you off the bed still fucking you and took you into the big bathroom inside his bedroom. He turned you around facing the mirror. "I want you to see that pretty little face when you cum for me. A face you'll never see without me fucking you like this."

He held your mouth again making you look at the beautiful mess you were in the mirror. Him pounding in and out of you. Your breast bouncing. Him making direct eye contact with you through the mirror itself.

Muffed moans and him slapping his thighs against your ass echoed through the tile walls. As you could feel your peak approaching you closed your eyes. "No." In one swift move he wrapped his hands around the back of your hair forcing your eyes open to see yourself.

He smirked as he watched you bite your lip holding back you loud beautiful moans. With a few sloppier thrust Rafe was chasing his own high. Throwing his head back as he pounded into you. "Fuck me." He groaned out.

Your high had reached his peak biting your lip so hard blood started to form. Rafe grabbed you pulling you against your chest holding your neck. "Come on baby." He whispered in your ear making you crash.

Your legs started to shake and the image of you two in the mirror was all too much to handle. Rafe started to come down from his own high. His thrust and movements slowing down as his hot liquid shot inside you.

Rafe turned your head towards his planting a sloppy wet kiss on your lips and he pulled out of you. Rafe pulled away, and you both panted for air more than ever. "That's how you should be fucked." A smirk planted across his lips.