#motivation is hard to come by -w-
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hehe first post !!
Hi dca fandom I wanna be one of you >:3 I've never really drawn the boys before, but LDR by @spadillelicious gripped me by the fkn throat, revitalized my obsession, and I made a whole sideblog!! Hii!!!
#i was testing out some styles ive seen in the fandom here!#let's hope i can keep at it!#motivation is hard to come by -w-#ill get back into digital soon and hopefully make better stuff @w@#i like sun's the best :3#oh god tagging time#love death and rollerskates#daycare attendant#fnaf dca#fnaf moon#fnaf sun#moondrop#sundrop#dca fandom#fnaf#fnaf daycare attendant#ldr sun#ldr moon
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@svtsource carat revival 2024: Picking Favourites and Fights
↳ Bias: DK | insp.
#seventeen#svt#caratrevival24#dokyeom#dk#seokmin#i tried#yayayayayayayay look at me go!!#i now have (almost) 3 sets for the prompts 😭 where is this motivation coming from#and i finished this one in just oneeee!!!!!! day!!!!!#thank u carat revival 😫#i didn't really know where i was going with this set but i've wanted to use that set as insp for so long#so i knew i wanted to do that#and then i'm always ALWAYS thinking about that dk quote#and then have also been thinking of doing a dk as tumblr tags set but it's hard bc freaking tumblr#only gives you like 5 tags from old sets now#stuff you tumblr#so yeah it's kind of just a mix of all my ideas and thoughts lol#i think it turned out alright!!#almost didn't get there because of the colouring but hey just chuck on a b&w gradient and it's all good
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"what is the image of the ideal person..."
#@mark did llh buddhism posting ytd...and today i give us llh daoism posting... 🤲#well this is not new at alllll i feel like im just repeating myself but also WHY NOT.#ALSO. ''they do not endeavor to help life along (...) to ''solve'' or ''figure out'' life’s apparent knots and entanglements''#like...the whole show is llh literally doing that actually.#most of the times he's unraveling the knots and entanglements of other people's lives. while being neutrally motivated/emotionally detached#they're just means to his intended end...of solving his own mystery that is VERY personally motivated#and i'm always saying tbh he would have been very fine even if he didn't choose to go down the sgd rabbit hole#and when he did it was detrimental. prob better w/o that#but the whole point is he did AND he had to. and anything of lxy's life WILL come back to him#lhl's story can be read like a xianxia narrative bc it's a journey of self-cultivation and the setbacks#that come inherently with being human and mortal.#''they are like water (...) overcoming the hard and strong by suppleness'' -> win the fight by not fighting ✊✊✊#anyway i must state that the choice of the cap to go with the yin/feminine para (instead of ghost bride llh) is very deliberate#bc it's theee llh image that comes with the idea of llh's 母神的力量 <3#莲花楼#mysterious lotus casebook#lhl#lhlmeta#my posts
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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Nothing Compares 👌
individual frames below the cut
#pizza tower#fake peppino#peppino spaghetti#eye strain#body horror#eye contact?#ignore my awful shading please i worked hard on this ;w;#i wanted to some spooky fake pep but i had trouble actually coming up with a good design lol#im happy with this though#ye olde art tag#god i havent really drawn anything in months#and now pizza tower really motivates me to be creative! its great
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back home from katsu! i had the BEST time, it was truly wonderful meeting so many new friends 🥰 i absolutely adored cosplaying kaveh! 🥹🪶🏛 he was truly a labor of love and i cannot wait to post more photos! but for now—to sleep for a hundred years omg 😂💀
#kaveh#katsucon#kaveh cosplay#be honest how obvious is it that i lost control of my life once i secured al haitham#and subsequently lost 2 weeks of cosplay momentum bc of his fun gameplay and hotman tendencies and then suffered for it the week before con#😂🥲🥲#ok for real though kaveh was really really fun to build like#his design is sooo 😍😍#heart eyes entranced obsessed w him forever etc etc *_*#i was so motivated to work on him (minus the embarrassing 2 week alhaitham hiatus)#(the alhaiatus)#and i really enjoyed picking apart his details with the limited refs we have like it rly brought me back to an ancient time#when cosplay refs were hard to come by and u had to zoom in on ur nintendo 3ds to see marth’s pixelated scabbard 🥲#anyway i am DELIRIOUS and MUST SLEEP 😂🥲#genshin impact#gencheer impact#my face
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While Jing Yuan does hold Dan Feng and Yingxing so fondly in his heart, and will say it as such ( and truly DOES feel that way ), he also bears a heavy resentment against them both at the very same time. For leaving him, just as Baiheng and Jingliu did. For not asking him to come with them and partake in their plan, keeping him in the dark and ultimately leaving him alone to pick up the pieces of his heart after each and every loss.
He loves them dearly even now, but will never forgive them this.
#hc; jing yuan#//He would never act on it nor EVER want to admit it to Dan Heng in particular#//Esp when the man declared himself to be a different person to Dan Feng#//Jing Yuan respects that and has taken to remembering such; even with how hard it was to accept#//Part of why he is so unwilling to let go of those feelings are bc it helps keep them in his mind longer#//Clearer voices and images in his memories he can grudge against; means less likely to forget them as they were#//And he’ll be DAMNED before he lets either go#//His love and adoration for them will never waver nor change#//He holds a torch for them both; even now. even with how he feels regarding the Incident#//But even with that; he still carries a certain bitterness abt it all#//He was very angry in his grief immediately after the last time he saw Dan Feng. kept it together until that point#//Then just Shattered when he had a moment to himself. and subsequently forced himself to pull it together to keep going#//The resentment helped loads; up until talks with certain others and a certain young lad came into his life#//Then it was their support and the positive feelings they brought him through bittersweet nostalgia that really helped him most#//Still; even that is not enough to diminish the more negative feelings he does hold; not Entirely#//To this day; he’ll still find himself questioning DF&YX’s motives; if things could have been different if he’d been there. If he could ha#saved or ultimately died w them. Sometimes drives himself mad w the possibilities yet will never stop poking at the ache#//Bc that is the last thing they ever gave him—how could he think of casting it away so easily?#//Or smth; may come back and edit this jdbfnw#//It takes the right person to ever get it out of him; and even then it takes trust and prodding to make him admit it#//Once he does though; he can work to get over it and set that part of him at ease
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#to be clear. v happy with ppl interacting with ME#but me interacting with THEM? lol#either a) i get worried as coming off as needy b) i have no motivation because i don't.... feel things when i talk to people#or c) im like ''im too busy for that'' then proceed to lie around doing nothing bc im depressed over being lonely#attention & praise seeking is like. the only way i know how to get my social need filled.#probably because shallow interactions w strangers feel safe. interactions with ppl who know me are like.... well#now this is an investment and a risk. also my lack of identity makes it hard to connect with anyone on anything#and considering the fact that i am EXTREMELY extroverted. i am not having a good time lmaooo
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darwin doodle i'm quite happy with <3
click 4 better quality i am begging
#i am actually VERY happy w this its a prime example of what i can do with sufficient sleep and motivation#tattoos are SO fucking hard to draw bro dont zoom in#darwin núñez#lfc#i rlly shud come up w an art tag#uhhh maybe#khadizah draws. sometimes#TUMBLR BUTCHERS THE QUALITY SO FUCKING BADDD
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ohhhh thinking about the parallels between odin/maya and frost/marlow/valerie rn
#the way it all comes down to the need to be in control#like theres more nuance to it than that and there are multiple factors in each dynamic but maya and valerie were both isolated#and their respective toxic relationships w their families were allowed to fester and break them bc of that isolation#man. always imagined that valerie was closer to cheri but maybe she should connect more with maya#maya and cheri are sorta aware of the situation? but they dont know just how bad it is and unfortunately theres not a lot they can do#without marlow denying them access to valerie at all the way he did to felicity and aisling#i think maya would try to talk to him gently without oversharing but he’d probably be quick to shut it down#and even if he did know mayas backstory hed be like ‘’wtf im not like that guy at all!! that guy got aggressive with his kid i dont do that’#which is also what he does with frost. ‘’no ofc im not like my mom. my mom didnt give a fuck about me. i care so much about valerie!!’’#tfw you try so hard not to be like your abuser that you end up being toxic in the opposite way#echoed voice#tbh very curious to know how marlow will be recieved#assuming he’ll either be hated or all his worse actions will be shrugged off as ‘’oh its ok hes dad of the year anyways’’#maybe both w no inbetween whatsoever#personally i like him. hes my personal little trainwreck. he fascinates me. i want to put him in a tube and study him#he needs therapy sooo bad but unfortunately hes way too proud for it#also in his own way sakura does want marlow to stop self isolating w valerie#like hes not as clear about it as like cheri would be. i think hes mostly motivated by their rivalry. he wants marlow to better himself#and be a more worthy rival for him basically which is why hes constantly rubbing souvenirs in his face#sakura likes valerie but i think he kinda like. disregards her compared to her brother. he hasnt really picked up on whats going on based on#their interactions. but hmmmm…: perhaps now that hes staying in serenade for an extended amount of time….?
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i'm finally doing my taxes and holy shit.
i made $4500 in emergency fees and on call last year. $600 in overtime.
and i only worked there for 6 months last year
#get unionized#depressingly i only made like a quarter that much in massage#although again. i was only doing paid massage work for 6 months last year.#but i also haven't built my business up at all since coming back. to be completely honest er fees are a big reason why#when i can make an extra $250 by showing up whenever they call me versus the amount of work required to schedule a single massage appt.#i do love massage i am just really bad at putting myself out there to get clients and i hate the homework involved#even though again i do love talking thru issues w/ my clients and making exercise plans and all that i just. hate emails.#and i work so much already its hard to get motivated to answer different work emails on my lunch break u know
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man i wonder
#skye's ramblings#coming back to phils bit of chapter 100 n this line paired w rays side chapter always fucks me up. demizu really just did that#doyou think ray had Thoughts about phils role in the escape and him being left behind with that knowledge. i think he was pissed <3#also ray's 'it must have been hard. sorry. and thanks.' followed by the hug when they all get reunited. .. explosion#truthfully im just revisiting chapters i like in hopes itll give me some art motivation <3 demizus art does things to my brain
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it has been so long since a game has done this level of irreparable damage to my emotional wellbeing
#yes this is about persona 3 i am no longer the same person i was before this game#it has permanently altered my brain chemistry. reorganized every single molecule in my body#it has fundamentally changed me as a person#ive been doong horribly in school bc i literally canmot focus in class#all i can tjink about is p3 and how quickly i can rush tjroigh assignments so i can go back to my room and play persona all night it#is not healthy i need summer break for a reason and thay is to be able to let out all this energy so i can#function properly in daily life#ivr half a mind to make little digital p3 emote sticker thing doodles so that i can plaster them on my notes#i think if i have a drawing of aigis next to my linear algebra notes i will have more motivation to read them#going to make so many aki ones...#all of this is if i have the time and energy tho. i hate school so much#rambling about stuff#literally been listening to tje p3 soundtrack everyday when i study#its that bad. it really is that bad. i need to start taking school seriously i cannot fail my classes i do not jave tje money to afford rep#ating any classes#also coping w how hesvy the p3 story is compared to the other games ithink... idk man im thriving off of tjr everybody lives no one dies au#and imean i get thay that kinda goes against the whole tjeme of tje game but like. let them be happy ;O;#maxing all my social links bc i love them all so much tjey are bffs forever. sees bffs sees bffs i love sees#im not even that far into my playthrougj yet ive yet to meet aigis but that is coming soon!!!#going to hug her so hard when she finally shows up#ryoji too ;w;#celebrating every mochizuki monday so i actually get out of bed and go to class#fuck linear algebra i might actuslly fail linear algebra i have no clue whats going in linear algebra ryoji mochizuki would never
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experimenting w/ blood colors, b/c red blood would not stand out on this hoe’s already red-as-hell design
#my art lol#blood tw#gore tw#self harm tw#vocaloid#fukase vocaloid#vocaloid fukase#ughhhh why do drawigns take so so long to make nowadays 😭 i can waste like an entire day doing this stuff man#dont have enough time to do the things i want or the motivation... well the last point maybe actually i do have motivation its called spite#and just these dumb fake computer program nerds are on my mind everyday all the time. please talk to me abt them 🥺#everytime my old voca arts on here get notes or my yt shit gets views/likes/comments/whatever i become slightly more powerful#yes thats dumb but. whatever.#ANYWAYS why is this bitch's hair so hard to draw. LITERALLY EVERYTIME I DRAW HIM HIS HAIR IS DIFFERENT#LIKE AHKDSJHGK. his hairstyle isnt even that complicated wtf 😭 but it fucks me over so bad the hell!!! SOMEHOW EVEN LEN'S IS EASIER#in general the members of the meme squad im noticing i just cannot draw consistently at all... pain and sufferign but ily them#PIKO ESP IS A MOTHERFUCKER TO DRAW the hell is going on w/ his dress thing and his boots. augh. flower at least has good ref sheets#sorry to peeps expecting wholesome art or smthn (but when have i really done that??? the ogs know im edgy as hell 😩✌️😎#ive done blue blood on him before so thats the one i prefer lowkey; the others didnt come out so good 😔 green's ok tho#was also going to do like a dark purple/black but im tired and also black wouldnt b very noticeable on him i think either...
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please god i wanna write so bad give me my fucking words back
#she bork#tbd#idk i was having a flare up so i lost all the steam i'd been gathering w my new wip and today i woke up finally feeling fucking normal and#okay EXCEPT THAT i no longer have any motivation to write or any idea what comes next in my wip . .. like PLEASE DONT DO THIS TO ME#i would be so fucking powerful and unstoppable if i could simply . .. finish something. just fucking see something through to the end. it's#literally not that fucking hard like come on
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guysspls draw rhyme easy we're so fuckin coollllllll
#just ate big burger#so full#my head feel s so foggy dude godd its really not good for me to stay up all night to draw but its usually the only time i can get any#progress donee#auh#thinkni#hmm#ah- yeah our anniversary is coming up on the 11th#i should try to draw something special for it... *sigh* i problem wont get the special drawing done in time tho#esp w my lack of motivation rn#i miss them so so much.. hope im making sense#i feel so spaced out yet kinda manic too hfdsjk#mm... i want to draw so much rhyme easy but drawing is so hard and i can never just... draw quickly and efficiently...#tape entry circa 1980
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