#motivation is hard to come by -w-
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hehe first post !!
Hi dca fandom I wanna be one of you >:3 I've never really drawn the boys before, but LDR by @spadillelicious gripped me by the fkn throat, revitalized my obsession, and I made a whole sideblog!! Hii!!!
#i was testing out some styles ive seen in the fandom here!#let's hope i can keep at it!#motivation is hard to come by -w-#ill get back into digital soon and hopefully make better stuff @w@#i like sun's the best :3#oh god tagging time#love death and rollerskates#daycare attendant#fnaf dca#fnaf moon#fnaf sun#moondrop#sundrop#dca fandom#fnaf#fnaf daycare attendant#ldr sun#ldr moon#plubalooba.art
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@svtsource carat revival 2024: Picking Favourites and Fights
↳ Bias: DK | insp.
#seventeen#svt#caratrevival24#dokyeom#dk#seokmin#i tried#yayayayayayayay look at me go!!#i now have (almost) 3 sets for the prompts 😭 where is this motivation coming from#and i finished this one in just oneeee!!!!!! day!!!!!#thank u carat revival 😫#i didn't really know where i was going with this set but i've wanted to use that set as insp for so long#so i knew i wanted to do that#and then i'm always ALWAYS thinking about that dk quote#and then have also been thinking of doing a dk as tumblr tags set but it's hard bc freaking tumblr#only gives you like 5 tags from old sets now#stuff you tumblr#so yeah it's kind of just a mix of all my ideas and thoughts lol#i think it turned out alright!!#almost didn't get there because of the colouring but hey just chuck on a b&w gradient and it's all good
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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Nothing Compares 👌
individual frames below the cut
#pizza tower#fake peppino#peppino spaghetti#eye strain#body horror#eye contact?#ignore my awful shading please i worked hard on this ;w;#i wanted to some spooky fake pep but i had trouble actually coming up with a good design lol#im happy with this though#ye olde art tag#god i havent really drawn anything in months#and now pizza tower really motivates me to be creative! its great
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back home from katsu! i had the BEST time, it was truly wonderful meeting so many new friends 🥰 i absolutely adored cosplaying kaveh! 🥹🪶🏛 he was truly a labor of love and i cannot wait to post more photos! but for now—to sleep for a hundred years omg 😂💀
#kaveh#katsucon#kaveh cosplay#be honest how obvious is it that i lost control of my life once i secured al haitham#and subsequently lost 2 weeks of cosplay momentum bc of his fun gameplay and hotman tendencies and then suffered for it the week before con#😂🥲🥲#ok for real though kaveh was really really fun to build like#his design is sooo 😍😍#heart eyes entranced obsessed w him forever etc etc *_*#i was so motivated to work on him (minus the embarrassing 2 week alhaitham hiatus)#(the alhaiatus)#and i really enjoyed picking apart his details with the limited refs we have like it rly brought me back to an ancient time#when cosplay refs were hard to come by and u had to zoom in on ur nintendo 3ds to see marth’s pixelated scabbard 🥲#anyway i am DELIRIOUS and MUST SLEEP 😂🥲#genshin impact#gencheer impact#my face
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#to be clear. v happy with ppl interacting with ME#but me interacting with THEM? lol#either a) i get worried as coming off as needy b) i have no motivation because i don't.... feel things when i talk to people#or c) im like ''im too busy for that'' then proceed to lie around doing nothing bc im depressed over being lonely#attention & praise seeking is like. the only way i know how to get my social need filled.#probably because shallow interactions w strangers feel safe. interactions with ppl who know me are like.... well#now this is an investment and a risk. also my lack of identity makes it hard to connect with anyone on anything#and considering the fact that i am EXTREMELY extroverted. i am not having a good time lmaooo
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darwin doodle i'm quite happy with <3
click 4 better quality i am begging
#i am actually VERY happy w this its a prime example of what i can do with sufficient sleep and motivation#tattoos are SO fucking hard to draw bro dont zoom in#darwin núñez#lfc#i rlly shud come up w an art tag#uhhh maybe#khadizah draws. sometimes#TUMBLR BUTCHERS THE QUALITY SO FUCKING BADDD
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ohhhh thinking about the parallels between odin/maya and frost/marlow/valerie rn
#the way it all comes down to the need to be in control#like theres more nuance to it than that and there are multiple factors in each dynamic but maya and valerie were both isolated#and their respective toxic relationships w their families were allowed to fester and break them bc of that isolation#man. always imagined that valerie was closer to cheri but maybe she should connect more with maya#maya and cheri are sorta aware of the situation? but they dont know just how bad it is and unfortunately theres not a lot they can do#without marlow denying them access to valerie at all the way he did to felicity and aisling#i think maya would try to talk to him gently without oversharing but he’d probably be quick to shut it down#and even if he did know mayas backstory hed be like ‘’wtf im not like that guy at all!! that guy got aggressive with his kid i dont do that’#which is also what he does with frost. ‘’no ofc im not like my mom. my mom didnt give a fuck about me. i care so much about valerie!!’’#tfw you try so hard not to be like your abuser that you end up being toxic in the opposite way#echoed voice#tbh very curious to know how marlow will be recieved#assuming he’ll either be hated or all his worse actions will be shrugged off as ‘’oh its ok hes dad of the year anyways’’#maybe both w no inbetween whatsoever#personally i like him. hes my personal little trainwreck. he fascinates me. i want to put him in a tube and study him#he needs therapy sooo bad but unfortunately hes way too proud for it#also in his own way sakura does want marlow to stop self isolating w valerie#like hes not as clear about it as like cheri would be. i think hes mostly motivated by their rivalry. he wants marlow to better himself#and be a more worthy rival for him basically which is why hes constantly rubbing souvenirs in his face#sakura likes valerie but i think he kinda like. disregards her compared to her brother. he hasnt really picked up on whats going on based on#their interactions. but hmmmm…: perhaps now that hes staying in serenade for an extended amount of time….?
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i'm finally doing my taxes and holy shit.
i made $4500 in emergency fees and on call last year. $600 in overtime.
and i only worked there for 6 months last year
#get unionized#depressingly i only made like a quarter that much in massage#although again. i was only doing paid massage work for 6 months last year.#but i also haven't built my business up at all since coming back. to be completely honest er fees are a big reason why#when i can make an extra $250 by showing up whenever they call me versus the amount of work required to schedule a single massage appt.#i do love massage i am just really bad at putting myself out there to get clients and i hate the homework involved#even though again i do love talking thru issues w/ my clients and making exercise plans and all that i just. hate emails.#and i work so much already its hard to get motivated to answer different work emails on my lunch break u know
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man i wonder
#skye's ramblings#coming back to phils bit of chapter 100 n this line paired w rays side chapter always fucks me up. demizu really just did that#doyou think ray had Thoughts about phils role in the escape and him being left behind with that knowledge. i think he was pissed <3#also ray's 'it must have been hard. sorry. and thanks.' followed by the hug when they all get reunited. .. explosion#truthfully im just revisiting chapters i like in hopes itll give me some art motivation <3 demizus art does things to my brain
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please god i wanna write so bad give me my fucking words back
#she bork#tbd#idk i was having a flare up so i lost all the steam i'd been gathering w my new wip and today i woke up finally feeling fucking normal and#okay EXCEPT THAT i no longer have any motivation to write or any idea what comes next in my wip . .. like PLEASE DONT DO THIS TO ME#i would be so fucking powerful and unstoppable if i could simply . .. finish something. just fucking see something through to the end. it's#literally not that fucking hard like come on
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guysspls draw rhyme easy we're so fuckin coollllllll
#just ate big burger#so full#my head feel s so foggy dude godd its really not good for me to stay up all night to draw but its usually the only time i can get any#progress donee#auh#thinkni#hmm#ah- yeah our anniversary is coming up on the 11th#i should try to draw something special for it... *sigh* i problem wont get the special drawing done in time tho#esp w my lack of motivation rn#i miss them so so much.. hope im making sense#i feel so spaced out yet kinda manic too hfdsjk#mm... i want to draw so much rhyme easy but drawing is so hard and i can never just... draw quickly and efficiently...#tape entry circa 1980
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I log into my other blogs multiple times every day and yet. Nothing Happens on them
#if we want to get ultra specific its because i want to revamp my multi but i refuse to work on it bc im scared of losing all my mutuals 🤪#and i Know thats not likely but i will lose a lot it happens every time i move blogs and i move too often i know i do#i havent moved that blog in like 4 months? at least but i. i have made new blogs and i think people are. tired of it#ive never done anything on ali bc im scared people will see how i write her as Wrong not the canon divergence but like. How /I/ Write Her#like i havent seen so much of pll and im scared to write mean characters bc in the past ive faced a lot of people who.#cant really separate mean muse and nice mun and just kinda assume im mean#and its really hard to write a muse like ali without people who know and understand them#but i cant write w people who know and understand her bc a) i dont even know and understand her and#b) i don't feel like i can enter the fandom bc of how much of pll i havent seen#i am in a constant state of 🧍♂️ and it doesnt matter who i have muse for bc Ultimately kurt is the one i end up on#bc hes easy and people have come to know him and so people are actually interested and excited here#and i think people are still running on the hype of him on a solo blog rather than the multi so its all exciting#i wanted to move jason to a solo for the same reason just hoping people would. care#but uh. i think i just need to lower my muse count and find more people who will interact with whoever i write instead of trying to please#people who only have interest in one person#idk this became a rant i didnt mean it to long story short im everywhere always i just don't have motivation
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primrose's ch3 is GOOD btw
#fucking simeon bro.......#i cant yap too hard without doing spoilers so heres another tag to fill space lalalala#ot1 spoilers#octopath spoilers#ANYWAYYY it starts with primrose coming back to her hometown which is already pretty strong#seeing a guy Fucking dying which is a great way to establish the harm done by the obsidian people and establish their power#.because if they didnt have a great amount of political power simeons entire motivation would fall through#but in the flashbacks he was sooo fucking good the writing (+ eng translation) did a good job of creating a gray area#between 'nice guy who is also courteous because primrose is a noble' and 'creep who might have a slightly overbearing crush on this kid'#bc shes like. 8 right ? and hes old enough to work as a gardener w/o his parents also being in service of the azelharts#so probably 17 at least?#ok um. i just looked up his age on the wiki and i dont know what the fuck is going on there#i didnt spoil myself but why is he 126.#anyway i actually feel like thats worse 💀#and then his breakdown calling himself primroses one true love..#shes so good i love the contrast between everyonee calling her beautiful + whatever the fuck helgenish and simeon were doing#and her showing no romantic interest in anyone. romance repulsed icon tbh#3 people this chapter were like 'lady primrose you have grown so beautiful since we last saw you' and shes like 😐#coming back around to simeons twist villain shit they went OFF reinforcing primroses performer theme#'the crowd gasps' etc etc. DAMN BRO#a lot of her story is theatrical drama coded ime. like with the ending narration saying 'tragic or happy ending'#she does seem like a dark take on a princess archetype which is cool#anyway the actual use of the game is good here too#the dark screen after she gets knocked out with the perfectly timed music??#and the flashbacks and the use of the titles on peoples speech bubbles#because the shift from 'simeon' to 'simeon the puppet master' kind kf made me lose it a little bit#RIGHT BEFORE the flashback where hes just 'gardener' ? yeah thats a banger#overall this is fairly simple good storytelling but it all comes together along w the actual game mechanics to make one of my...#... favorite chapters so far. plus im really excited for her ch4 now.
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On a side note, I'm about to be so annoying.
#personal#im angry and annoyed about work - VS finally gave in and told me off about work to which i was like i dont see a future here so its hard to#be motivated. besides i was working on this ESG thing w this guy and that was v nice and lot more fun and informative. but i got one thing#right and then did not bother w more of it (this was Wednesday) im sure there was a meeting w out me and there'd be again tomorrow#i want to do this! but im working from 5 to 5...which is a LOT#and balancing friends and partner! which i want to! bc they're extremely important!#but gosh sometimes it all feels too much in a come on im 26 now we can be past this already#n e way!! i FORGOT what this is about omg and went off tangent! this is about greek research!! cannot wait to start doing things!! i know#the focus is a bit more on history than literature but hol up! let me thru!!#and that was a lil overview of my life from 2024 lmao
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i think it’s time for another social break.
#to be clear this isn’t in relation to current events#it’s just about my personal life.#I’m back stuck in that cycle where I feel like I don’t have friends > I lose energy and motivation to socialize#& seeing stuff w other people who are Not in that cycle makes it. so much worse. lol.#yes yes hypocrite moment I know I’m also busy I know adult life makes it hard etc etc I’m still going to feel#emotions about it.#idk as much as I say living near people would be ideal for happy surface reasons truthfully I think if I’m not in someone line of sight#I get forgotten#like roommates are great (sometimes) bc forced proximity means there’s something built in#I say plural bc I also know you need to rotate socially. better for everyone involved.#like idk. I don’t know how to stop feeling this way or how to break out of it#and getting my ass away from social media is really the only way I know to stop me from getting Extremely hurt and jealous lmao#I’m bad at maintaining connection after a while and I think bc at the start of friendships I usually Do have the energy to be the ‘starter’#or planner or w/e when I start to wane a bit it goes unnoticed. so it’s back into the cycle. and I’m not sure if this will ever stop being#a thing for me? also I can’t blame anyone for seeing that and Not wanting to reach out bc like. why would you#as great as I can be short term I don’t feel like I’m worth the trouble once I pass a certain ‘expiration date’#so as much as I’d want to be more mad about it I can’t really be bc I Get It. I do. but it’s still depressing.#it’s so stupid of me really bc I do this ridiculous thing where I’ll Light Up when I feel like someone’s interested bc it’s nice!#its a nice feeling! so naturally it’ll make me perk up a bit more even if I’m feeling otherwise low#and it doesn’t take much so maybe I’m giving the impression I take effort? idk I know I can be skittish at first. I don’t want to come on#strong or annoying. (we’re all annoying kill the cringe etc etc but if you want friends you need to sync up at least)#but maybe that’s off putting?? I don’t know. I’m out of ideas on how to be.#I haven’t even had the energy to make content or really even think about my characters bc it feels like there’s no point. sometimes in the#past I could at least rely on that a bit to be a sort of bridge to reach out to people with but I just don’t feel like I’m able to.#the posts I made just steadily got less and less interest over the spring and summer and I always felt like#in servers I’d just suck the air out of the room bc people felt polite but uninterested.#everyone else was also able to move past and be friends outside of that and I just never could manage even over multiple years sometimes#and over time that’s just weighed on me a lot. no matter where I go I always end up feeling like I’m supposed to be temporary#social filler. how do you end up meeting people when it just constantly recoil from your efforts?#being weird isn’t as fun when it’s the Wrong Kind.
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