#mother mold
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vsf eu n tava esperando isso, to muito mal
[House of X #4]
#comic panels#xmen comics#xmen#house of x#mother mold#mutants#wolverine#nightcrawler#jean grey#professor x#krakoan age
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Sometimes I say things only I find funny and then I have to draw them because I am insufferable. And I needed to bully my blorbo. She just wanted her regular check-up to be over quickly; Miranda has other plans (as usual). Have fun, Elise!
#PLUS MIRANDA IN CASUAL WORK CLOTHES? Outta my way girlie I'm getting on that table with her-#Mother “rizz more rancid than century-old mold” Miranda everyone. She's awful. I love her. Milk curdles when she breathes. Absolute queen.#I hate drawing any kind of background ever and it shows#mother miranda#re8 oc#re oc elise#captain's art log
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da doggy
i wanted the breed to read more like a jack russell on steroids than a wolfhound & make a dog look mean and potentially dangerous without leaning on wolfy or mastiffy traits. big dog bred for war. she was part of the dragon slaying team
#so my thought process is like. we got a newborn baby and no mother left alive so we need to get milk from somewhere#baby mold spore gets put with the dog who just lost her pups. aww#but dog gets violently overprotective and they have to be separated#(in this scenario baby mold spore is being taken back to court by knights who think she'll make a cute pet for a princess)#so the dog gets kicked out of the travelling party and a squire is supposed to. send her over the rainbow bridge lets say#but she's so mean and he's a coward so he throws rocks until she backs off and then he runs. but what it means is that now we have a dog#not part of the travelling party. following it intently because she thinks her puppy has been kidnapped#and she makes a great mode of transport for anyone else who needs to follow that baby as well and can't ride a horse#dog knight story
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The Arcane fandom, especially on TikTok is never beating the allegations because why, now, some fans act like it's too inconceivable to imagine that Ambessa was, not only, pregnant twice but gave birth twice as well? And their reasoning for this is "She looks like the type to get a man pregnant instead" or "She's too tough for that, I just can't see someone like her going through that." There are layers to these statements because, for one, just because someone, especially a woman, is a dominant force doesn't mean that they can't get/don't want to become pregnant (do you believe overtly dominant men can't be fathers?) It's also very weird because the undertones of misogyny and misogynoir and the overt masculinization of black women are there because, not only are they viewing pregnancy and giving birth, in general, to be viewed as something "weak" (even though it's grueling hours of labor that results in tearing the body apart, sometimes even death) but also attempts to strip Ambessa of her nuance. Yes, she is strong and very dominant, but she also deeply loved her children, who she birthed, and when one was taken away from her it changed her deeply. It's very gross to view a character like her in this way because it also reflects how you view dominant women in real life, pregnancy, and childbirth as a whole. Like how are you going to praise Arcane for having such a wide and diverse ensemble of female characters, but then have misogynistic takes like this? Make it make sense.
#arcane#ambessa medarda#arcane ambessa#anti arcane#anti arcane fandom#bc if i said the “she gets a man pregnant bc she's girlboss” also plays into misogynistic tropes bc it not only#devoids female characters of their nuances but also frames pregnancy as something “weak” or those who go thru it as “lesser than” but always#pressing the pregnancy in question on male characters who they either ignore (so they only view pregnancy for breeding and nothing else) or#infantilize (so you only view pregnancy as happening to someone who is submissive?) there's layers to this#and bringing it back to the masculinization of black women especially dark skin women people are already viewed as#existing outside the stereotypical lens of “femininity” and that in turn includes pregnancy and childbirth (which is viewed#thru a stereotypical lens as well) and bc people already don't view black women to fit the first box they definitely don't for the other#especially if she matches ambessa's body type &/or personality#even tho a big part of ambessa's character is literally her being a mom!#and don't get me started on how some of you view mother characters as anything outside of motherhood in general#(but a part of that is also bc the media doesn't give them much at times either but fandom still gets it's lashing too!)#like lets analyze: why do you think female characters who are “too tough” can't be pregnant as well? why do you think they can't be mothers?#why do you think they are “too tough” to give birth? is it bc u subconsciously view it as a weakness?#why do you think black women especially those like ambessa can't give birth & be mothers? is it bc you have biased views towards motherhood#where it's stereotypically “feminine” (yte) and black women don't fit that mold in your mind?#like i could go on!#(if i also said back to the girlboss & get men pregnant thing how a lot of it carries undertones of misogyny as well id be wrong but-)#some of yall did the same thing with mel & continue to do so when those pregnancy rumors were coming out#masc women can give and want to give birth while still being who they are (it literally happens in real life) so why people act surprised?#tw pregnancy mention#tw childbirth mention#fandom racism#fandom misogyny
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Okay, starting off is the mask.
I figured I should post a sort of "devolution" to show where it started and what it became, because you cherish the end product more if you remember where you came from.
#mask was exhausting#i learned foam core poster board and paper mache clay dont like to play well together if you put too much clay on in the first pass#all that excess moisture soaked right into the board and warped it like a mother fucker‚ no remorse#but it ended up being fine and looking fine cause no one was looking at me from the side#and you cant tell it was warped from the front#honestly i think it kindof gave it a bit of a 'mascot eyes' effect#where mascot eyes are pointed down to look at children‚ Sun's face was incidentally curled inwards to give it an encompassing effect#paper mache smells like mold also#and grows mold#black mold to be exact#i had that bowl under my bed on my desk for i dont know how long#my art#fnaf#fnaf sb#daycare attendant#sun fnaf#my cosplay#five nights at freddy's#the tape on the eyes is temporary btw as yall could tell#had to protect his beautiful peepers you know?
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There’s nothing I can say to out of town guests to make them understand. You cannot shut the washer once it’s task is done. You cannot leave the bathroom door shut. You cannot leave a damp towel on the ground.
The mold is coming. The mildew creeps ever closer. You cannot defeat it but you must take all the steps you can to fight it lest it overtake your dwelling.
#ramblies#my mother in law is the latest in house guests who do not understand#the Pnw does not fuck around#things will not just dry on their own and everything will mold if you aren’t careful#we’re making extra trips at night to open the bathroom after she shuts the door behind her#I just found the washer too late left closed after her laundry#it reeks and I’m running a hot load to try to cleanse it somewhat but it might need a whole vinegar rinse
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I know this has already been said and I’m super late, but Mia as the protag of RE8 would have been so good. The contrast between Mia, the Lords, and Mother Miranda would have been absolutely interesting. I'm shoving everything under a read more because damn I have so many thoughts about Mia.
Lady Dimitrescu is a woman that cannibalizes and drinks the blood of her servants and intruders. On top of that, she tortures before preying on them. She does this willingly and very much derives pleasure from doing so. Lady D’s gothic triplets hunt any poor fool that wanders in. It’s a fun family activity for them just as much as it’s for sustenance.
Do you know what this parallels? The Baker family under Eveline’s control. They patrol the estate and anyone who rejects the “gift” either ends up molded or on the dinner table. This family also partakes in a fucked up version of a family dinner, eating the victims that refused their little girl’s “gift.”
However, a major difference between the Baker and Dimitrescu family is their willingness to participate in these activities. A family of cannibals; one forced while the other relishes in it.
Mia is still very traumatized by her three years in the Baker’s estate. Breaking into the castle to find her daughter would force her back. Hello to all the emotions that come with those memories, the ones Mia has been trying to forget. The harder you try to forget something, the more you think about it. What better way to make Mia acknowledge Dulvey, Louisiana than by forcing her into something so similar?
And while she’s still reeling from remembering her time in captivity, why not push her a bit further down memory lane with House Beneviento? Mia has demonstrated at multiple points in RE7 that she does care about other lives. She lies to Ethan to keep him from getting caught up in her work. She tries to save Alan and crew members of "The Annabelle" (the crew members are a bit more indirect, she mainly focused on Alan) by containing Eveline. After Jack finds her, Mia keeps her distance to keep from infecting them while trying to write a warning. She tries her hardest during RE7 to save Ethan.
Mia’s hallucinations could center on her guilt. The failure to stop Eveline and the lives ruined as a result. How she was always too late to help anyone. Ethan curing her, a criminal, over Zoe, the person helping him. Leaving Zoe behind in the shattered remains of her home and family. Surviving. Visions of Ethan hinting at his “condition” could lure her to the manor. A little nudge to the whole “he was mold the entire time” plot twist without fully giving it away.
Moreau, lacking in self worth and very attached to a woman who doesn’t give him the time a day, yet still he considers her as his mother. Most of his actions are for the attention and validation from his “mother.” No matter what Moreau does, he’ll never have her affection or time. It’s sad, isn’t it? To witness a man try so hard only to be rejected. And isn’t that familiar? Mia once felt compassion for someone with similar traits.
Remember the little girl who considered you her mother? The one that spent three years waiting for you to love her after you promised? The one you had a hand in killing? What makes you think you could ever be a good mother after what you did? Why are you trying so hard to save Rose when you didn’t even extend the same courtesy to Eveline?
Y’all know how Mia’s past is a mystery? Like why she was working for the Connections and how she was even recruited and all that. Heisenberg would be a great way to explore it. A man taken, forced into becoming something else, and stuck in a family he doesn’t want. Mia can relate. He wants to use her daughter as a weapon. She was willing to let another child be used as a weapon. They’re alike, so surely Mia would be willing to side with him.
But Heisenberg is cocky and Mia isn’t the person she was prior/during 7. Even if she was on board with using Eveline as a weapon to end all wars or whatever bullshit the Connections told her, she’s not willing now. Not after what she’s seen and been through. This section could be Heisenberg goading her through the tvs/intercoms about her past to change her mind with Mia remaining steadfast in her refusal.
And then there’s Mother Miranda. Two mothers trying to get their daughters back through vastly different means. Because of the group photo showing Mia and Miranda with Eveline this encounter can go one of two ways.
Miranda and Mia know each other and have worked together before. Whether it be on the E-Series Project (with Mia becoming the caretaker and spending copious amounts of time at the lab) or though some other means at work.
They’ve only briefly met when the Connections were in a hurry to transport Eveline.
Either way, Miranda would compare them. As a mother, Mia must understand what she’s trying to accomplish. Would Mia not do the same as she? Maybe at this point Miranda shows she killed Ethan to demoralize to prevent her from interfering with the ceremony. Tells her she’s too late once again and to give Rose to her because she’ll be the superior mother.
Idk, I guess you could switch to Ethan instead of Chris so he can still have Eveline tell him he’s moldy. But he’s a stubborn man and he forces himself back to weaken Miranda so Mia can kill her. Chris shows up and Ethan does the same thing he did at the end by blowing himself up with Chris forcing Mia (with Rose) on the helicopter. That way the Shadow of Rose DLC can still be about Rose and Ethan.
TLDR; Mia should have been the protagonist because it would have allowed us to explore her character and background more. It was a missed opportunity especially since so much of RE8 centers around mothers. It would have played out better as closing off the Winters Family saga as well since we could have tied the loose ends that came with Mia’s mysterious past.
#resident evil#resident evil village#mia winters#mother miranda#lady dimitrescu#karl heisenberg#donna beneviento#salvatore moreau#ethan winters#eveline re7#my text#mia and zoe are also still infected or moldy like ethan and it feels like it's very much being ignored#because there's a document in the salt mine that says if you've been infected for to long that the cure would kill you#and those 2 are very much still alive so they have to be infected like or in a similar way to ethan#it was for 3 yrs there is no way to undo that shit with a shot or two#not when all their cells would have been infected with mold by then#the line about mia feeling compassion about evie's situation is from the guidebook#and i think moreau would dredge up for those feelings that have long since been buried because of the baker incident#since he's doing similar-ish things to what evie did for a family/love#anyways morally grey characters really interest me so i really just want to know more about mia lol#i also really want to know what happened on the ship#because i don't believe the imprinting protocol alone would make evie that attached to mia as her mom#when she could have had marguerite as her mom like why is mia so special you'd wait 3 years for her to comply??#anyways that's for a whole different post lol
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an inherited creature?
#the parallel of the mother and the child makes me unwell#we see the worst parts of ourselves in one another#what do you mean you and i are the same?#will we always be?#stardotnet#webweaving#web weaving#corecore#webweave#writing#lyrics#fruit#rot#mold#mom#mother and child#family relationships#the mountain goats#the mountain goats lyrics#phoebe bridgers
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Ohhh they are saying…what if Trey and cater used riddle, someone new and who didn’t know better, to bring order to heartslabyul and shaped them into who they wanted to do it…
It makes sense but also mixed feelings about this if true.
Will wait for official tls, dont want to spread misinformation.
Edit: apparently, Leona and idia kinda lied about it, but you know…it’s nrc…how much of it is really lies??
#hanas thoughts#because what do you mean that riddle is being used??#or might have been??#by an old childhood friend and someone he is somewhat lenient on??#riddle has been controlled and used all his life by his mother to fit a certain image and ‘molded’ in such a way#and you’re telling me the same could have fucking been done to him by Trey and cater????#and maybe that’s why he was ‘a tyrant’/‘out of control’#because their plan might have back fried#fired#but god damnit I would be so pissed off#riddle doesn’t deserve this arrrgghhhh
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We´re approaching 2k for the 1st chapter of my newest piece of WTF, and I couldn´t be prouder of the absolute clusterf*ck that is my mind. 🥹
THEY DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. 😤
#mother miranda#eva#mold babies#they deserve the world#meaning#mc#let´s see if she agrees shall we#resident evil village#re village#resident evil 8#re 8
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If you don't like Genshin PLEASE scroll. Guys I'm sorry if this is cringe but the bats and their visions stories.
Case #0: Batman
Batman has no vision.
Case #1: Nightwing
Dick Grayson obtained his vision at age ten, two years after Batman took him in. His intense feelings drove him to go behind his mentor's back, tracking down his parents' killer and hatching a plan to eliminate him.
As he stood over the cowering man, gun in hand as Zucco begged for his pathetic life, his finger tensed and relaxed over the trigger of the gun. A purple glow shone. Till now, he does not know if it was an appeasement or an order from the gods.
A few moments later, Batman arrived to find his ward with a gun and vision in his hand. Despite this, Tony Zucco was still breathing.
Case #2: Red Hood
Jason Todd was captured and tortured in a warehouse in Qurac by Joker. After sustaining severe injuries, he was tied up and left with a ticking time bomb beside him.
Perhaps, as the bomb ticked to its final second, Jason had thought that Batman had forsaken him. That he had lost his father. However, even the bright cyan energy that suddenly emitted could not save him from his fiery fate.
Jason Todd was buried with a grey anemo vision.
Case #3: Batgirl
Cassandra has no vision. Perhaps she might have had one before, David Cain was never a big fan of magic given by the gods.
Case #4: Red Robin
Tim Drake had been training under Batman to take the mantle of Robin. It was a late night, Batman was out on patrol and Tim was burying himself in case files. Unfortunately, he had fallen asleep in the mess.
When Batman returned, he was greeted by a green glow and it was then that he knew Tim was destined to be the world's greatest detective.
Case #5: Spoiler
Stephanie Brown was young when she acquired her vision. She had walked into one of her father's nefarious crimes. Of course she was afraid, it was only natural.
But as she sat in her bedroom in the quiet of the night, she swore to spoil her father's plans. The next day, she found a glowing purple jewel under her bed along with a purple hood.
Case #6: Robin
Damian Wayne was stubborn, naive and... forgiving. In the end, it was his love for his mother that ended his life. Not many understood but Batman did.
That was why he was so enraged when he found Damian's letter, it was lit by a cold blue light. The cryo vision was dim but not grey, almost mocking him with his son's death.
Rage bubbled inside as Batman took his frustrations out, it was only overtaken by guilt at the sight of fractures in the precious ornament. The light flickered before extinguishing.
Little guide for non-genshins
Visions are little charms given to people to grant them the ability to control their element in times of need
Purple is electro (electricity) and is given to those seen as different or abnormal.
Cyan is anemo (air) and is given to those who have lost someone close to them or on a journey for freedom
Green is dendro (grass) and is given to those in the pursuit of knowledge
Blue is cryo (ice) and is given to those who feel unloved or abandoned
#batman#bruce wayne#nightwing#dick grayson#red hood#jason todd#batgirl#orphan#cassandra cain#red robin#tim drake#spoiler#stephaine brown#robin#damian wayne#tw:genshin#sorry duke i havent figured out if metas have visions#these are meant to be written by Bruce but i think i lost it halfway#dick's one is meant to be that sparing zucco put him down a path of alot of potential and allude to his fate of being better than batman#also nightwing uses electricity so#jason's is definitely feeling like he lost bruce which is why hes anemo#also the tragedy of burying a new vision is a lot like someone dying too young#i dont want to talk about cass or tim leave me alone#steph's alludes more to breaking out of the mold of scared kids#also she is purple#like i cant give her pyro#damian's one is alot of irony because he loved his mother so much that he believed she would stop heteric until the moment he died#but he's cryo which shows he never felt loved by her or bruce
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I haven't drawn a lot of Mia/Miranda but I do have these from 2022. Ain't no one every convincing me these two didn't have something freaky going on during their years working together 🧐
#I think Ethan's a fine protagonist but Capcom chickened out on giving us the mom showdown of the century!!! WE KNOW THEY WERE FUCKIN!!!#JUST LOOK AT ROSE. SHE LOOKS LIKE MIRANDA MORE THAN ETHAN COULD EVER. Science mold baby fr#mother miranda#mia winters#resident evil village#captain's art log
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Hey Claus, what's with the mouse/rat hangin' out with ya
🥕: "Her purpose eludes me, but I CAN tell you that she smells like bread and loves to forage."
#he named her mold because when he got her she looked like a mold particle to him#also mold has been alive for 10 years#he chooses not to question it because shes cute and eats out of his hand#claus#claus mother 3#mother 3#mother series
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ding dong mother spore is here!
[from the Double Hearted comic by @kitsuneisi]
#mother spore#ddvau fanart#ddvau grian#ddvau mother spore#double hearted#desert duo vigilante au#grian fanart#my art#''ding dong'' *infects you with mold and fungus* *infects you with mold and fungus* *infects you wi#life series#trafficblr#tw: body horror
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ILY FP 258
I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.
Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.
I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!
That's enough rambling, let's jump in.
There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.
But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.
A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.
This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.
I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.
There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.
As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.
Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.
And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.
How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).
He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.
He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.
And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;
For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.
I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...
Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.
But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.
I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.
I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.
And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.
Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.
#ILY Brainrot#ILY FP#ILY Spoilers#I Love Yoo#Kousuke Hirahara#Shinhye#idk what to tag her as because we know she isn't known as Shinhye anymore#and because Simhan and their mother never married AND she was from a previous relationship Yoo isn't even her family name#so I can't really use Shinhye Yoo lol#alas#anyway this episode was DEVASTATING and quimchee said it's the beginning of the sad episodes meant to happen in March#literally said 'It's all downhill from here'#which I take to mean til the timeskip#BUCKLE UP BABIES WE'RE GOING FOR A BIG CRY SESH ;______;#i gotta say tho this episode didn't even make me cry - i guess because none of this is new and I've been bracing myself for it#Kousuke is so fucking wet cat it agonizes me ;_____;#I could write a whole essay on how Yui destroyed him and Nol in one fell swoop#i think a lot about precocious little Kousuke who tried so hard to be a good little boy and rushed through school because he wanted so badl#to hurry up and catch up to his father and join him in the workplace#all the opportunities he lost#the way he tried to fit himself into a personality a person he never picked out but just believed would get him what he wanted#he lost himself in the process#or maybe he never even got to know himself#i think too a lot about Kousuke who played piano and gave it up when he came to believe it wasn't important to his dad#that it didn't garner the attention and praise he seeked#so he dropped it to better mold himself into someone he thought Rand WOULD be proud of#FUCKING DEVASTATED#I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF THE ROOF SOBS
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theyre literally the same person. but no one wants to hear that. because of the woke.
#nesta archeron#azula#princess azula#nesta deserves better#nesta and her mother/azula and Ozai#both molded to be the perfect tools by the manipulative parent while the “nice” parent focused on their sibling(s)#mommy issues#and daddy issues#you don’t understand them like i do
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