#mother fucker too
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heres your highly requested fluff you fucking animals
#this is all youre getting now SCRAM. we're back to the socratic dialogues after this#anyway this whole game was about how family can be a hodge-podge of whatever you want idk why people keep nuclear-family-itising isafrin#im not accusing anyone of anything i just think its odd that we're not just immediately making that family unit 8 people big minimum#with zero deliniation between the roles shared between 'birth parents' and the other ones. just seems odd to draw those lines#mirabelle isabeau and loop fight for the title of mother: GO#anyway claps my hands together these are the extents of my thoughts here i dont do fankids thats too far into the future for me.#way too many variables. cant extrapolate shit. aint my wheelhouse. this is just here for the joke that loop is a walking baby sensory video#isiloop#sloopis#isat#isat spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#doodlebyte#i think so confidently calling loop a sensitive insecure fucker gets to merit the spoilers tag. and also idk man it just feels it in nature
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Thinking about that one post that was like
"Wade and logan spending multiple life times worth together, going through absolutely everything together to the point seperating them would just be plain cruel because of how soul tagged they are with each other and this just so happens to be the universe where they alone outlive everyone theyve ever known time and time again, so here they are, alone, but in each others arms in an old canadian moutian cabin, their front lawn looking like a grave yard with how many loved ones they kept with them. Theyre both old, wades wrinkles are just the light of this white manned beasts life and yet, they put collars on one another in the most caring and adoring way, caressing one anothers cheeks as Logan gives him not only the best 10 life times but also the gift no one else could bare to give him. Death. Unseathing his claws into his chest as quick as he can. And Wade to him, a knife stabbed critically. The best gift you can give your lover who can't die is the best life, yes, but a peaceful and coddled death is the ultimate goal. To lay there, bleeding out without a care in the world as Logan memorizes those pearl like eyes, and wade imprints the small smirk he has into his memory for eternity.'
And then someone reposted with two skeletons holding each other?
To that, I pitch after the last kiss Wade will ever give him, He smiles, because he knows he's made Wade as happy as humanily possible. Laying there for years or for hours, they're unsure. But they do know one thing.
"See ya at home, bub." He tells him with his last breath, an ungodly amount of blood gushing out the side of his mouth. But he's not sad. No, no neither of them are. They're relieved. Logans last act of service was bringing Wade Home. The place he never really felt right because he knew he was supposed to be dead by now.
And they'd find them in a week.
After the buzzards get loud.
After the insecets have made their claim.
After the foxes has had their taste.
After the raven has had it's say.
Id be home with you, I'd be home wih you.
Id be home with you.
I'd be Home
with
You.
#im not crying youre crying#oh my eternal boys#rest my darlings you deserve it#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#deadpool#wade wilson#deadpool 3#wolverine#peanutbub#loganpool#hozier#in a week#why does this man keep making bangers abiut decomposing?#with your love of your life? like okay sir i see you. and I too wanna decompose with my wife#so same#deadclaws#orpheus mother fucker#wolverpool#wade x logan#deadpool x wolverine#Spotify
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I just saw some idiot on TikTok say "Markiplier hasn't uploaded anything in 3 weeks. Long time viewers will know this isn't normal." BITCH THIS MAN JUST CAME BACK FROM NOT UPLOADING FOR A MONTH THE FUCK YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T NORMAL. This Man Who Owned Five Ovens habitually erases himself from all of existence for weeks at a time. This Short Ass Motherfucker could be in fucking Korea getting blood drained from his eyes and won't be back for 2 more weeks. This Squirrel King is the same asshole who promised us four times to upload something every day and broke that promise the very next week.
The fuck you mean "long time viewers" BITCH LONG TIME VIEWERS KNOW HOW NORMAL THIS IS. Long time viewers know him uploading every day ISN'T NORMAL. If we get a couple month of content it's awesome! But those are so few and so far in between. Do you really think this isn't normal for the man who legit had people impersonating him on his own channel because he took a hiatus for like half a year. That lucky flannel having motherfucker disappears constantly, then reappears with some unbelievably AMAZING FUCKING QUALITY CONTENT LIKE WHO FRAMED MARKIPLIER OR A DATE WITH MARKIPLIER OR FUCKING IN SPACE WITH MARKIPLIER.
THE MAN IS MAKING A FUCKING MOVIE AND HAS DISAPPEARED FIVE TIMES ALREADY BECAUSE OF IT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T NORMAL.
#Markiplier#five oven having mother fucker#actually he doesn't have five ovens anymore#but still#I'm pretty sure he lost his lucky flannel a while ago too#let me scream about past references ok#Markiplier shaped the humor I have today
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i think im not a fan of what dc keeps doing with jason because they keep having him, the abused, become an abuser in some way shape or form. and the classism they don't want to talk about (i am being so for real there is a genuine problem of both writers and readers who do not understand jason's background and it pissed me off so bad because it always shapes their opinion of him in the wrong way and they don't care to even try to listen). and how if they were going to have him come back they should have had delved into his identity crisis and the inherent horror of coming back but not knowing how or why or what to do about it and not knowing what you were doing while dead and having to deal with time jumping forward on you and the fact that you will never get the time back and no one will he the same as they were before you died and how isolating and lonely that would be. and they also definitely weren't prepared for the fact that jason was grieving his life and his death and his hopes for his mother and his dad who didn't get there in time and the dc writers are fucking cowards. which brings me to my next point: why do we keep listening to them about shit because they are quite literally always fighting with each other and projecting their own personal biases into characters (i.e. making them worse than they are/2 dimensional/trying to make them iredeemable so their favorite character gets to shine) and also they are all freaks of nature with a consistent problem of being God Awful People who why would we trust them with these characters. jason todd they don't get you like i do
#it's 3AM and i woke up out of a fitful sleep to write this post#i hallucinated jason todd while trying to sleep#(just like them bitches in the comics always fucking do can we point that out. actually. they always fucking hallucinate someone in their#family but mostly jason. when he was dead and stuff#more hallucinations or give me death#i meant that figuratively#the second part#i want more hallucinations or give me someone talking about how that used to happen to them and jason going “wtf r u good ?” or#“ew keep me out of your brain freak”#(second one directed at tim)#what was i saying#ummmm#jason todd#he deserves better#coming from a similar background means i am his number one defender#i have mommy issues too so tack that on there#the way people look at and treat the homeless makes me infuriated because you dont get it#you dont GET IT#until it's YOU mother fucker
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The Man, the Myth, the Legend, it's Every Version of Soundwave Across the Multiverse! Fucking look at all of them, all 14 of them. It's a Soundwave Height Chart! Yay!
Edit: I didn't like the old scaling I had so I changed it. The old chart is at the end of this post.
Quick Disclaimer, if any of the images look weird, it's because I had to stitch a few separate images together to create a full body shot of the character.
Here are links to my Bumblebee Chart, my Optimus Chart, my Megatron Chart, and my Shockwave Chart. !!NEW!! -> Ratchet & Ironhide. Please go gawk at how many Optimus designs there are, sweet fuck, there are so many. For future reference, all these charts will be filed under my "Transformers Height Charts" tag and my "aka the adventures of a..." tag.
Master Post
Explanations and Sources below the cut, because I have always have words to say.
TFA V1 - 6 feet 5 inches (Animated has no actual numbers, but the lovely @phoenix-inanis has provided a frankly astounding resource with their own calculations for the heights of all the TFA characters. Go look at it, it's wonderful -> https://phoenix-inanis.notion.site/TFA-Height-Chart-f6ad2960ca8c4c5b859ee4958723aaa4?pvs=4.)
Unicron Trilogy Cybertron - ~13 feet (TFWiki, for the uneducated, the Unicron Trilogy has given each of its 3 seasons separate names and 3 separate art styles. This is the design used in Cybertron (S3) though he only shows up in Cybertron. This bitch was so hard to get a full body shot of, he was always standing off to the side or standing behind someone)
Earthspark - ~15 feet (No actual source for ES, but using a barn door to get Bumblebee's height, then Optimus's, then Megatron's height, I was able to make a guess at Soundwave's. Soundwave comes up to about Megatron's chin; the screenshot I found has the two fighting, so it might be a little off, but I'm confident this is pretty close. Also, this might be the shortest of universe to date; I am consistantly finding these iterations to be some of the shortest out of all of them. It may look like the UT has it beat but in S1 everyone is much taller than they are later. No, I don't know why.)
TFA V2 - 17 feet 7 inches (Once again, phoenix-inanis did a fuck ton of work, go look at it, it's wonderful -> https://phoenix-inanis.notion.site/TFA-Height-Chart-f6ad2960ca8c4c5b859ee4958723aaa4?pvs=4)
Gen 1 - ~18 feet (TFWiki. I do not have anything else to say)
Netflix Cybertron Trilogy - ~18 feet (I have no source for this, other than assuming that because this design is identical to Gen 1, they are the same height. It's all I got so it's what I'm using)
Knight/Capel-Verse - ~18 feet (No source, and he never stands next to anyone I can measure him against, but because the TFOne director has said that this movie is both canon to the LA movies and its own separate canon, I am assuming the height I figured out for TFOne applies to this universe as well. Capel directed the ROTB movie if you're wondering why his name is there)
One - ~18 feet (No source, I got this number by comparing him to Shockwave who I compared to Optimus. Now, I am aware of the TFO heights listed on the wiki, but I reject those numbers on principle. A: Those numbers are sourced from the Walmart Promotional AR Experience that came out before the movie. B: There are three decimal points, and that number does not convert into a whole number in meters (which is originally what I thought was weird about it). C: The director has said that this movie is both canon to the LA movies and its own separate canon, so I have elected to use the few given heights we have from KCV and worked from there. My Optimus post has slightly more context if you want it)
Cyberverse - 19 feet 3 inches (This comes from a screenshot of this video which has the Cyberverse height chart everyone uses, though the quality of the screenshot is iffy.)
Bayverse - ~22 feet (Okay, so this is from the wiki, but it comes from a concept design for the second movie that never got used, so I went to find my own number. And in the third movie, I was able to compare Soundwave to Megatron and I got a the same number as the first unused number... Kinda backwards but okay)
Aligned Cont. WF/FOC/TFP/RID15 V1&2 - 26 feet 2 inches (I originally got this number from Fandom, but I can't for the life of me find the page with the info. Fandom has like 6 different pages for the same character, it's so frustrating. Also- Freakishly tall universe there is no reason for them to be this tall)
Not Pictured: Bayverse Satellite Soundwave - I do not know how big he is and I can not compare him to anyone who I do know. I am sorry satellite Soundwave fans, he evades me with his stupid floating in space all alone bullshit.
Edit: Here are the different layers separated
vvv Old scale vvv
#personal stuff#Transformers Height Charts#aka the adventures of a mother fucker with the power point program#soundwave#transformers#macadam#macaddam#g1 soundwave#tfa soundwave#unicron trilogy soundwave#earthspark soundwave#wfc trilogy soundwave#knightverse soundwave#tf one soundwave#cyberverse soundwave#bayverse soundwave#wfc soundwave#tfp soundwave#rid15 soundwave#I am too sleepy for commentary#freakazoid continuity#bc all of them are so tall#i'm pretty sure it's the tallest overall universe#other universes have taller single bots but everyone in the alc is huge
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Okay, starting off is the mask.
I figured I should post a sort of "devolution" to show where it started and what it became, because you cherish the end product more if you remember where you came from.
#mask was exhausting#i learned foam core poster board and paper mache clay dont like to play well together if you put too much clay on in the first pass#all that excess moisture soaked right into the board and warped it like a mother fucker‚ no remorse#but it ended up being fine and looking fine cause no one was looking at me from the side#and you cant tell it was warped from the front#honestly i think it kindof gave it a bit of a 'mascot eyes' effect#where mascot eyes are pointed down to look at children‚ Sun's face was incidentally curled inwards to give it an encompassing effect#paper mache smells like mold also#and grows mold#black mold to be exact#i had that bowl under my bed on my desk for i dont know how long#my art#fnaf#fnaf sb#daycare attendant#sun fnaf#my cosplay#five nights at freddy's#the tape on the eyes is temporary btw as yall could tell#had to protect his beautiful peepers you know?
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hi i'm going back to my old style. because it brings me whimsy. stanlee post...
#orin ayo#tragibox#stupid mother fucker i hate him. (lovingly. i'm kissing him on the cheek)#i like the other style too but i might leave that for bigger drawings since it's making me mad rn#art shit#I FORGOT MY OWN ART TAG
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I just discorvered your blog and whilst I am primarily a choso enjoyer I do think noritoshi is also a really cool character, and I really hope he and choso get a chance for a proper interaction at some point! I'd love to know what your opinion is of choso and how you think he would interact with noritoshi :) also your art is really pretty
[UPDATE] this post was made before Gege revealed that Choso was a shit teacher and before the Kamos ever interacted. This was just my assumptions at the time.
I also want to see them interact... strap in fam, bc I never shut the fuck up
I may describe Choso as a bit OOC since I don't know much of the manga, but I do know bits and pieces!! also what the wiki told me, heh.
[Choso thoughts]
Choso feels like that big brother who's stricter when training/teaching, but lenient when doing literally anything else involving his younger sibs. Although he's wearing a bored expression the entire time, he's actually super happy when around them.
I really like big brother characters so he might climb up my favorites when I see him in action. from that one popular screenshot of him giving Jogo a goofy smirk, I can tell he's got this tiny side of playfulness to him. He can be annoying if he wants to, and he sometimes does that with his brothers. 10/10 guy!
I've seen fanart and some headcanons of Choso, and I can firmly say that he's a green flag. He's the guy who would fix you without trying. HE'S NOT DOING ANYTHING, YOU JUST FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER FOR HIM.. OR SO I HEAR
[more details under the cut!]
[Choso + Noritoshi interaction thoughts/headcanons?]
Choso and Noritoshi are like super distant cousins/uncle/nephew right?? They came from the same jujutsu hitler, so Noritoshi is like Choso’s many greats cousin/nephew. Be fr though, if there's someone younger than Choso and is related to him in some way, that's an instant lil sibling of his. WHICH IS WHY, their relationship has two sides to it. (imo)
First up is the teacher/student aspect.
It's no secret that Noritoshi is weaker compared to Choso, therefore, he'd want to train under him. Choso is a strict teacher, he wants his lil bros to be able to protect themselves if he's unable to be there for them, which is perfect since that's Noritoshi's comfort zone. He wants to hone his abilities to reach or even surpass Choso, so he needs someone who'd nitpick him.
I can see them sparring, and Noritoshi having an awe struck face every time he gets taken down with a new move Choso has yet to teach him. "How did you do that? You must teach me that next, sensei!"
Choso would probably chortle and lightly nudge Noritoshi with his foot, but internally, he's screaming. Imagine your little brother saw you do something cool, and he's shouting at you to show him how to do it. That's the same feeling Choso would get. Of course, he'd show him eventually, but Noritoshi needs to get the hang of the moves he's tasked with right now before adding more to his plate.
They're both beaming with joy when Noritoshi shows progress. Well- as much as two guys who barely emote can beam. Noritoshi is proud of himself for constantly improving and Choso proud of his lil bro for getting stronger!!!!!!
I imagine they bicker often but when they're in teacher/student mode, they rarely cross each other. Noritoshi knows he's training under a teacher and Choso is teaching his lil bro how to beat ass.
The second half of their relationship is the.. older brother/older(?) brother aspect.
whereas Noritoshi is getting little brother treatment from Choso but doesn't want it and Choso annoys/coddles Noritoshi like the best big brother he is... also my favorite aspect, as shown
Noritoshi is independent. He likes his space and prefers to do things on his own. Because of this he involuntarily became the big brother of Kyoto Tech. People go to him for advice, criticism, help with assignments, and when needing to make a responsible decision, they think, "What would Noritoshi do?" You can say he got comfortable with the role of "big brother."
So when this new guy comes along who's revealed to be family, Noritoshi deems him as a higher authority. Noritoshi's quick to go back to his old ways of respecting his superiors and it's not that difficult. Choso is older, stronger, experienced, and generally a lot more capable than Noritoshi. However, the downside is that Noritoshi would never grow a close bond with Choso if he kept this up. You can't tell your boss your worries, that's not proper! Choso, knowing this, told Noritoshi to knock off the formalities pretty early on.
I imagine this is the first time they'd ever bicker. Choso tries to get Noritoshi to loosen up a little because they're family, but Noritoshi protests that it's because they're family that he should show extra respect!
Choso probably told Noritoshi to call him brother/uncle or something so they can grow comfortable around each other. Let's be honest, Noritoshi calls his mom "mother," you won't catch him dead calling someone who he currently sees as a superior "brother." They compromise by just using each other’s name without honorifics.
Now that the introductions were out of the way, Noritoshi was now stuck with Choso coddling him. Sure it was nice at first, someone in his family who doesn't yell at him for every mistake he makes and genuinely cares for him, but.. Noritoshi feels… annoyed. Choso reminds Noritoshi of a more tolerable Todo, but he feels like Choso still treats him like Noritoshi needs him. He doesn't need Choso around, but he keeps seeing him everywhere!
It'd be entertaining to see their dynamic. Noritoshi, the younger brother who doesn't wanna be the younger one and Choso, using that to his advantage to grow close to Noritoshi, by being the annoying older brother. He never takes it too far. just far enough that Noritoshi is saying stuff like “Preposterous!” or “This is slanderous!!” I imagine Noritoshi takes it as a personal defeat when Choso brings him food or treats him to an outing. He allowed himself to get little bro’ed..
Noritoshi would try to take the leadership role again and "big brother" Choso back in a respectful way. Maybe suggesting things he should do. Choso probably lets out breathy laughs and pats Noritoshi's head when he tries this. Then promptly goes back to doing whatever he was doing. Choso sees this as "my little brother scolding me for something." Another defeat for Noritoshi..
I can see these two bickering about the smallest things. And by bickering, I mean Choso annoying Noritoshi because he wants to take care of his little bro!!! and Noritoshi getting upset because he's not!!! little!!! he can do it himself!!!
I feel like Choso and Noritoshi would get comfortable with this though...
Choso would get a side of Noritoshi he doesn't often give to most people. They have a special bond that unites them both. Whether it be their cursed techniques or their similar childhoods or some other third option, they stick by each other. The same is true for Noritoshi, he finally has someone that cares about him and not his status. While yes, Choso can be annoying at times, Noritoshi is growing used to having him around. It would seem too quiet if Choso wasn't making him annoyed in some way..
of course, they'd have their calm moments. Having siblings is both a hurricane and shallow waters.
These two are stoic fucks, so I can see them communicating wordlessly. The full fucking package like nodding, shoulder shrugs, huffs, BLINKS, you fucking name it and they just had an entire conversation. They say they make it obvious on their faces, but literally, no one can tell. Some people (Arata) think they speak telepathically..........
I hinted at it in the little doodle above, but Choso would probably help Noritoshi with calligraphy. Choso is OLD so he's got to have seen some old old Japanese cursive... He'd use his knowledge to help Noritoshi improve!!!
The whole thing with Choso cooking for Noritoshi.. Its what older siblings do to coax their younger sibs out of their shell. Who doesn't like free food? Choso learns pretty quick from what i've seen and with coffee being Noritoshi’s favorite drink, he's using that.
Choso: there’s a coffee shop downtown.
Noritoshi: what
Choso: we’re going together
Noritoshi: I never agreed to this
Choso: don’t forget your jacket, it could get cold.
And then they go.
Noritoshi enjoys company if it doesn't bother him. So if Choso walked into his room and sat down to do something quietly, Noritoshi wouldn't bat an eye. and That's how they hang out sometimes, just in the same room and they both have a blast.
this one is just me fucking around but I can see Choso asking for advice on how to approach Noritoshi like a father asking how to approach his teen kid. Noritoshi is similar, but he's asking why this guy is doting on him and being annoying. They ask around because I doubt either of them know how to use a phone. Noritoshi is old-fashioned while Choso is just old.
hmm... I can't decide whether Choso would use Noritoshi's name more often to attach the name to a better person or give Noritoshi a nickname to avoid using it....... I want to lean into the former but hmm......
that's all I got! This could be so ooc but fuck it! I like it. Sorry if this was all over the place, i was throwing spaghetti at the wall!!!!
[my ranting, its not important skip this. theres also slight spoilers]
im sitting here analyzing your wording. youre implying they HAVENT met properly?????? ITS BEEN A FUCKING WHILE. LET THEM MEET AGAIN WHAT THE FUCK IM PUNCHING THE WALL. WASNT THERE AN ENTIRE REVEAL THAT YUJI WAS HIS SUPER DISTANT LIL BRO implying that he also has some relation so to noritoshi too which is super cute now that i think about it.. stoic bitch with a sunshine guy who wont shut the fuck up... wait i love that sm..... but regardless WHAT THE FUCK??? LITTLE BROTHER MY ASS.GEGE YOU HAD NORITOSHI RIGHT THERE. FYM NEW LITTLE BRO YUJI. NORITOSHI IS GOING THROUGH IT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE BUT THIS GUY IS ALONE... I JUST WANT HIM TO HAVE SOME FAMILY BRO. GEGE WHAT THE FUCK. AND CHOSO HAVING THOSE DREAMS AND FANTASIES OF HIS BROTHERS TOGETHER. PUT NORITOSHI IN THERE. BRING NORITOSHI BACK YOU ONE EYED CAT FUCK..... I WONT FORGET THIS GEGE, WHEN I CATCH YOU GEGE WHEN I CATCH YOU GEGE WHEN I CATCH YOU GEGE.....
#kamo noritoshi#noritoshi kamo#noritoshi#choso#jjk choso#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#THIS IS SECRETLY A SHORT HAIR NORITOSHI APPRECIATION POST#i know a lot of you mother fuckers are choso enjoyers so heres a treat#a treat for me too bc i love seeing noritoshi annoyed and sibling relationships and choso being happy#and tysm for the compliment! im happy my art is pleasing to you!!#this is the most doodles ive ever done for one post#heh. lil bro nori#i tried not putting too much effort into these since there were so many and i didnt want my hand to fall off but i couldnt help myself..#kamo boys are so good i had to push forward a little#choso i like you too but i like your super distant cousin a lot#ARHGHHGH THE CHIBIS OF CHOSO MESSING W HIM ARE SO CUTE#I ATE W THAT#FUCK YEAH#woah#someone in my style who isnt noritoshi..... crazy............#ive noticed drawing noritoshi is so simple... choso emotes a bit more than him so making facial expressions like his were fun#noritoshi i gotta work your mouth more.......#PAUSE#FUCK THAT SOUNDED SO WRONGNAHGRHAHAHA#BUT IM RIGHT REGARDLESS#forgive me for not giving choso different clothes. i dont know what this guy wears and i really liked his og outfit#its cute!!#null rot
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Shout out to my art program crashing while i was cleaning shadow and lighting on the co workers art!
But anyway this is what I was left with ig and I don't hate it
[Notes:
Ven looks slightly less cursed
We don't talk about how I made Icarus slightly like a twink
Arisanna being swag
The square shadow thingy was ment to be like the door]
#fsmp#fsmpblr#fable smp#fable smp fanart#fable smp icarus#fable smp ven#fable smp arisanna#the co-workers#I LOVE THESE SILLY MOTHER FUCKERS WAY TOO MUCH
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WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT/FEDERATION MAGAZINE: OCTOBER 1996
MOMMY? Is the Mystery of Mankind Beginning to Unravel?
A Special Report By the Informer
IS GOLDUST MANKIND’S MOMMY?
You read that right! I’m on the verge of breaking the hottest scoop of the century… I think!!! Even though my reputation may be on the line, this is just to JUICY to pass up!!!
OK, are you ready? My eyes and ears have told me, the Informer, that not only is Mankind living in the basement of Goldust’s Hollywood estate, BUT the “bizarre one” actually has the “dementated soul” under his complete control! How you asked? Perhaps by having him convinced that he is… his long lost… MOMMY!!! NORMAN BATES, MOE OVER!!! This situation makes the relationship between you and your deceased mother look like Mrs. Cleaver and the Beav!!!
I must say that at first I, the Informer, didn’t even believe it myself. Goldust and Mankind? RuPaul and Hannibal Lector? COME ON!!! Can you imagine the conversation over a cup of expresso?
“Mankind, what do you think of my new wig?”
“Oh, I think it’s lovely. But, it would look even better… WITH THE HAIR PULLED OUT OF IT!!!”
Talk about an odd couple? They would make Feliz and Oscar look like the Olsen twins!!! But wait, let’s not be so hasty with our judgments. Let’s stop and ask ourselves this question: Beneath it all… are they “really” that different? Is it possible that there might be more similarities than they would want us to believe? Let’s look a bit more closely, shall we?
First and foremost, it is a fact that Goldust and Mankind are loners. They have no friends… nor do they want any. As a matter of fact, much of their companionship actually takes place “inside” the ring, rather than “outside”. True, Holdust does have Marlena, but first of all she is of the opposite sex… we think. And second, their relationship is of a business nature, not personal…. We think. Mankind, on the other claw, is definitely friendless. That is unless you consider George, his rat who by the way I’ve heard died recently. However, just because he’s dead doesn't necessarily mean that he’s not still Mankind’s best friend, by any stretch of the imagination! Now the psyches of Goldust and Mankind are comparable in various ways. Both are masters of the mind game… in their own “special” way, of course. Where Goldust likes to frolic within the psychologically bizarre realm of sexuality, Mankind takes a more strait-jacketed approach. He likes to come off as being just plain nuts. Both live in fantasy worlds–Goldust in the lights, camera and action of La-La Land… Mankind in his safe haven known as the boiler room. They both offer very unique and mysterious backgrounds. The truth is–we know very little about either individual, largely due to the fact that neither has told us anything! What “really” makes Goldust tick? Did something happen in his childhood that sent him to super-bizarredom? Does he have any legitimate acting experience? If not, how the heck did he get himself on the red carpet area on Oscar night? And Mankind? Now here’s a jigsaw puzzle that lacks a straight border. The music, the claw, the mask, the cellar, the… MOMMY?
MOMMY… here’s where the mystery begins. If you don’t already know by now, Goldust and Mankind wrestled as a tag team at some house shows back in the late summer, early fall. The Bizarre and the Demented. OK, nothing wrong with that. Sometimes wrestlers do team up even though they may have nothing in common. Case in point–the opponents of this troubled team were none other than the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels and everybody’s favorite dead man, the Undertaker. Now here’s the wacky part–weeks prior to the match, Goldust and Mankind were cutting a couple of interviews talking about the upcoming matches. Keep in mind these interviews only ran in the markets where the matches were taking place. In other words… only a few people saw them. Anyway, through the entire cuts, Mankind was referring to Goldust as… MOMMY. You got that? MOMMY! But wait, it gets even sicker! The three of us–me and my own two eyes–witnessed Mankind actually BURYING HIS HEAD IN GOLDUST’s BOSOM in search of some peace, love, and understanding!!!
Now you tell me, kitty-cats, what the H-E… double toothpicks is going on here?!!! Has Goldust outpsyched the psycho into believing that he’s his… MOMMY?! OR is this just another chapter in their well-scripted psychology handbook? What do you think? Do you think I know? WELL, I MIGHT!!!
The following day after this goose-bumping incident, my top informer informed me, the Informer, that SON has moved into MOTHER’S mansion!!! That’s right! They share the same CELLAR!!! Now this shocking detail has in no way, shape or form been confirmed yet. HOWEVER, I was told just last night by the GREAT (his opinion, not the Informer’s) VIC VENOM, the next month… in this very magazine,,, he plans on bringing you inside the mansion of Goldust in his exclusive “Lifestyles of the Rich and Filthy Rich”! So now the question is will Venom be the reporter he says he is and take us in the cellar of the Goldust estate so that we can find out the truth for ourselves? OR will snake breath slither out of the entire situation by keeping the basement door LOCKED?!
Tune in next month!!! Until next time…this has been the Informer.
THIS JUST IN!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!! AS OF PRESS TIME, I HAVE JUST LEARNED THAT GOLDUST MAY HAVE COME CLEAN WITH MANKIND! A SOURCE INFORMED ME, THE INFORMER, THAT GOLDUST MAY HAVE RECENTLY EXPLAINED TO MANKIND THAT HE INDEED IS NOT HIS MOMMY, BUT… SABLE IS!!!
THIS STORY JUST GETS WEIRDER BY THE MINUTE!!!
STAY TUNED!!!
#goldust#mankind#gay people#wwf#world wrestling federation#magazine scan#magazine transcript#wwf magazine#also this is totally vince russo#i know his shitty fucking writing anywhere#his random caps#his multiple !!!!! i know its you mother fucker you cant hide from me#they should have had a gay person write this btw goldust is no Rupaul hes a Divine cmon be real#honestly mankind is so real for all this shit tbh id be calling goldust mommy too#WWF magazine 1990s#1990s#1996
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got into an argument with my friend about the movie cause they liked it and i. didn't. i feel cursed and im mostly just annoyed that so many of my problems with it are so easily fixable. but alas. there is no space for character arcs or growth. the MCU demands more cameos
i joked with a friend that if they just added a scene at the end of the movie were sam jackson shows up to actually offer wade an avengers membership proper and wade told sam jackson to fuck off then the entire movie would have been a success for me
#sci speaks#just one. stupid fucking scene. to add payoff to the set-up of wade wanting to be an avenger.#it would have been the?? greatest call-back to. um? the entire instigator of the mcu???#literally fucking criminal that nick ?? fury?? didn't?? show?? up???#i dont care if it doesn't make any fucking sense NONE of this movie made sense#and youre teloign me you coudlnt get nick fury?? to show up'/??#sam jackson?? ryan's bff??#you coudlnt get sam jackson to come in and say “mother fucker” legally this time???#i cant believe how the addition of one (1) tiny scene could have salvaged this entire shit show for me.#i say it would be just a funny joke scene that riffs on the end of the first iron man movie and the birth of the mcu.#but it would give wade a?? character arc too???#just with one? little additional scene???????????????????????.#a little fanservicey scene that fans would not need to think too hard about .#a perfect love letter to the origins of the mcu and phase one and wHY people got hype about the mcu in the first place#and a perfect jab at wade wilson being the perfect subversive little addition to the mcu.#movie fixed.#you're welcome marvel.#if they put this scene in you cuold've tricked me into thinking this movie was actually clever.
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is there any actual catharsis in the boys or is it all just suffering and scrambling for a crumb of relief
#bc i cant handle whump without a bit of silver lining#its why i didnt like game of thrones#theres just so much suffering and the entire time you want just something to go right for the characters you like#but its just bad thing after bad thing#and the people you dont like keep getting worse and getting away with it#i already know homelander will exhaust me#theres enough celebrities and rich people that do horrific shit and get away with it in real life i dont need that in my shows too#like for a while? i can deal#but season four is airing and this mother fucker is still adored even if he is being sued or something#i know its not the type of show with clear cut good guys and bad guys thats not what i mean#but yeah is there any relief? or any good things?#or is it just it starts off bad and gets worse and thats the point#i need there to be a reason for all the suffering you know?#so far i like black noir (though i know what happens to him) butcher and a train#and a little bit of the deep but i can also see him annoying me for long chunks of time#is it bc elliot knight is in the new season and i can do a cod crossover with it? maybe so#either way i’ll probably end up not watching it and just watch vicariously through gifs and fic lmao#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#the boys#homelander#billy butcher#soldier boy
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hey osmosis jonesers you can read it here
#osmosis jones#oj draft script#MAKING THAT A TAG NOW BECAUSE. I NEED TO. I have plans. :3#this fuckign script was one or my roman empires actually#so if you ever wanted to know how a pg-13 osmosis jones wouldve gone…. here we go#personally im tagging any spoiler-ish art ill be making becuase I need to draw#one of the scenes where … no comment but holy shit. Ozzy you sad mother fucker#did i mention drix is more fleshed out here too. like he goes through severe self worth and identity issues as a manufactured creation and#yeah what the fuck!#ALSO T(RAX IS FUCKING BRUTAL??!28??!!? hes funny as hell thogurh in this#ozzy/leah divorce era is atcually real…. kills myself oooo ooo angst#also the parallels between the failing system of frank’s immunity and irl police systeMS ESPECIALLY DURIGN THE TIME OF WHEN THIS WAS WRITTE#TLDR. we couldve had it all. fuck the farelly brothers and fuck wb
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“average marine endangers 100 civilians per year” actualy just statistical error. average marine endangers 0 civilians per year. the admirals, who are sent in to deal with the navy’s most destructive problems and love using scorched earth policies as a second resort, are outliers adn should not have been counted.
#riko.txt#i love them. i do. but 😭#do you think the grunts make shirts like I SURVIVED BEING UNDER FUJITORA’S COMMAND AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TSHIRT#i love fujitora. but he loves making his haters become craters when he hits them with his meteor and it does NOT matter who’s with him#maybe his men make him a shirt too. his says MOTHER FUCKER I WILL KILL US BOTH#like out of all of them fujitora and borsalino (and arguably aokiji) probably care about civilian casualties the most#bc to his credit fujitora can usually control his powers before anything real bad happens#and i’m not unconvinced that it’s not a practical joke. but still#and borsalino’s good at precision#they are better than akainu and ryokugyu who willfully and unhesitatingly kill their own#yet they remain Endangerment Georgs
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I think about that Sunday stroll in the Captain’s fondest memories. It was literally alone time with him and Havers together- they probably kissed yknow-
#mint thoughts#bbc ghosts#the captain#capvers#caphavers#lieutenant havers#they 100% kissed which makes leaving for North Africa all the more heartbreaking#bet#they prolly said ily to each other too#and cap dying trying to say ily to him was so he could say ily one last time#god mother fucker
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