#mother 3’s ending is truly beautiful to me

[syl-stormblessed]

genuinely no line will EVER hit me as hard as Hinawa’s “You must be so exhausted” at the end of Mother 3. it’s literally the perfect line at the perfect time in the perfect context. and depending on where you are in your own life, hearing it is incredibly cathartic. it’s the sense that finally, finally someone recognizes how tired you are. and then Claus gets to rest, because yes he is exhausted, and it’s time for him to go to where Hinawa is now. he’s just a kid and he’s so tired. he’s ready to rest. it’s so tragic yet cathartic at the same time. that entire scene just hits every single time and nothing can compare

[crustyfloor]

SUA LORE (I'm going to die one of these days fuck)

When Sua was younger, among all the sisters she had grown up with, she had one older sister, but seemingly, unlike their other sisters, that woman didn't treat Sua with hostility, in fact, she looked like she doted on Sua and looked out for her.

Translation (Creds to: @/greenbean1467 on yt in the comments section):

1/2 ?: You should take care of your hair. (Woah, careful) ?: So immature… 2/2 ?: Alright, it can’t be helped. Sua has to be punished! Tickle tickle! [ At that time, you were my only person, and for that reason, you also made me afraid. ]

"You were my only person, and for that reason, you also made me afraid" Is just...All her life, Sua had been an isolated individual, by choice, and because she had been shunned by her family, avoided due to her cold nature, and during those times she's only had two people to who she could really show herself too, this woman and Mizi, this woman being the only person Sua had in her life I can only imagine how afraid Sua was of losing her sister, and just how much her sister terrified her at times.

1/2 SUA: Mhm, so mother said, it’ll be time to leave after ten more nights. And mother seems happy, and I too… SUA: And that pink-haired kid could be there too, so… ?: Didn’t I tell you it’s uncouth to wiggle your toes like that? 2/2 SUA: Oh… I won’t then. ?: Ugh, so cute! ?: But you know, big sis is worried. ?: Worried that our immature little Sua could just up and die in that hellish place.

This woman and Sua look to be close; they are affectionate, and Sua almost seems to look up to this woman as if a sister figure, but the detail here I'm interested in is how worried this woman is about Sua and her remarks about Sua, she cares about Sua. Still, it shows that she looks down on Sua to some degree, whether this be in a teasing tone or not, I'm unsure. But there's an obvious obsessive fixation on Sua's innocence. And even in this relationship, cruelty was reinforced as a means to an end.

1/2 ?: You’re already so stupid, what if you just up and die in that place? ?: You poor thing, Sua. [They say that corpses fall from the sky in that place. When a weak kid like Sua just up and dies, They burn those kids in a hot, hot fire, And then they open the sky lid to sprinkle them over the living kids Like snow raining down. ] 2/3 ?: Even if it's not, I'm not smart, but I've gone so far ?: Pick--If you die. What should I do? ?: It's so cute Sua.

Growing up under the same guardian, Nigeh, who valued quality and beauty in her pets, it becomes obvious why Sua's sister was criticizing her appearance. She'd grown up hearing the same criticisms from the harsh and cold Nigeh who didn't care for their pets beyond their value, and what all they could bring to the plate, I could imagine just what kinds of things Nigeh would say to a pet human with "abnormalities".

Sua, however, was the perfect pet human, she was pretty, obedient, and acted obediently for Nigeh as a manicured doll to meet their expectations. She was attached to Nigeh like a daughter to a mother, looking to their validation to feel as if she was more valuable than she truly was even though the love wasn't reciprocated. For these reasons, she was treated differently from her other sisters, of course, there would be a level of envy and projection from Sua's sister.

Sua's sister is shown to be anxious about Sua, she seems to have been attached to her in the way a hurt child needs a security blanket to rest at night, Sua is so childish, naive, and stupid, it is reassuring to her sister to have someone to care for, as if there was still hope in this world, so without Sua, her sister's worries wouldn't be soothed, her sister was so scared that she even threatened Sua with fear, expressing how frightening and horrific this environment would be (Like, "Pick, if you die" I read it as "If I lose you, what should I do?)

In this way, Sua seems to parallel mirror woman because Sua had this same dependency on Mizi, again, in the way a hurt, lonely, scared child needs a security blanket to rest at night, Sua wanted Mizi to remain naive and stupid, willingly kept her in the dark so that Sua could feel a sense of peace and security through her, her sister was the same way with Sua, she wanted to keep Sua from the hell she would be subjected to very, very soon, but in the end, telling Sua ugly truths, about the snow, and all, had to have been fueled by bitter feelings, to rid Sua of that type of innocence, could have been any kind of love, perhaps in a twisted way she wanted to protect Sua.

She obviously had to have been mentally unstable (understandably) to say these kinds of things to a child, no less, the way she stares at Sua like she's desperate and broken, really, it's not loving, it's just desperate and cruel. Really, the fact that Alien stage can bring a person to this kind of insanity is a horrifying concept. Still, I believe she was trying to teach a lesson to Sua at this time in her life when she was growing up, making attachments and being susceptible to impressions, it was purposely harsh to frighten her, to project her fears onto Sua, and those words from her sister stuck with Sua for the rest of her life.

From that day on, all Sua could think about was death, all she could do was worry and worry until she met Mizi again.

Meeting Mizi, in all her optimism and bright smiles, was like a healing balm on Sua's wounds, or in other words, her "Cure" .

1/2 SUA: Big sister, your words then made me, as young as I was, all the more afraid. I imagined “just up and dying” so many times, even more than before… 2/2 SUA: But if I meet you again, I want to tell you this. That you were wrong. The one to be pitied was probably you.

1/2 SUA: If this is hell… 2/2 MIZI: Found you! You're that snow doll!

Interestingly enough, Mizi calling Sua a "snow doll" may be a foreshadowing of Sua's death, as now it's semi-confirmed that dead children are cremated and sprinkled down onto the Anakt children's faces, but they only think it's snow. (THAT IS JUST FUCKING SICK. someone kill me)

And a parallel to the MIZISUA video, their first meeting. (The nickname is just--telling of how Sua is perceived, as a little dressed-up doll.)

(And that fact just gives this piece a wholeeee darker meaning. of course. It somewhat disproves the theory that the dead are instead fed to the Wagyein, but I don't know which is worse. Then again Sua's sister could've been going off on a psychotic rant, so I'm not taking it too seriously. It's a weird coincidence though)

1/2 SUA: Where else could you find such a paradise so wonderful? 2/2 SUA: So you're wrong.

(Some nuance may be lost in translation. I died)

So this comic, like Ivan's comic after ROUND 6, Cure, Heavenly Garden, was Sua's reminiscing during her final moments, and her only thoughts were the words of her sister, her face, haunting as it was, and Mizi, her universe.

Sua's sister pitied her for her inevitable fate, she had known the life of being a pet-human, used, abused, and hurt, she feared death and still had her instincts intact. Knowing Sua would go through the same cycle and then meet a terrible fate on that hellish stage...tasted bitter. It was frightening, but it was one small liberty for Sua to make it something of her own.

But for Sua, it was far from hell. Sua's sister references Anakt garden and Alien stage as a whole as hell because it's a one-way ticket to your demise, there is no true life once you're in, that's why it's so frightening, but being found by Mizi in that garden--Mizi was wonderful, Mizi made Sua feel like a child, to feel warm in her bright, gentle light, feeling the tranquility of feeling freed and loved in the comfort of Mizi's gentle song, Sua didn't want to be pitied, she didn't even regret making it this far, she didn't care about death as long as she wasn't without Mizi, Because to be able to be with her, and sing with her...everything was all worth it to meet Mizi. For Sua, there is no fate more miserable than living a life without Mizi and dying that way. Living a life of loneliness and anxiety was pitiful.

Side note, the title of this comic, Heavenly Garden, maybe a religious reference and, more specifically, a reference to the Garden of Eden. The themes here that connect to "Return to the Great Anakt", all children, in ashes and all will eventually return to the great Anakt, it gives me the idea that after Sua's death, her "Heaven", was returning to Anakt Garden and returning to her paradise, Mizi.

[misserabella]

hello!! I would like to make a request please. ellie x reader... imagine the reader is ellie's, hot, attractive, smart, sweet and flirty new roommate who ellie has a fucking crush on and was getting hard to control, mainly because her roommate wore short skirts in most of the time and until one day Ellie comes home and the reader is coming out of the bathroom with only a small towel covering her naked body making Ellie very horny and awkward at the same time? can end in kisses and smut? 🤭

thank you 🫶🏻

pt2!

a/n; you are just a fucking tease and she knows!!😭

playing games ♡

cw; flirty! reader, weed usage, smoking, masturbation (ellie), sexual thoughts, tension, fingering (r receiving), the knee thing, thigh riding, oral (r receiving), nipple play, choking, degradation, praise, cum eating, teasing… 18+ content minors dni!!

REMINDER: english is not my mother language so i apologize if there are some mistakes <3 !¡ either ways, i hope y’all like it. <3

REPOSTS AND COMMENTS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!<3

-

“els, could you please hand me that book?” your sweet voice called out for her, your beautiful eyes begging for her to reach to the top of the bookcase and hand it to you, since you couldn’t reach, even on your tip-toes.

your ass was poking out, your mini little white skirt rolling up your hips as your back arched and your chest rose, nipples hard under your fluffy blouse.

ellie’s body stiffened, and her eyes tried really hard to not trail down your body ‘cause… fuuuck, we’re those lace panties you were wearing? why was that skirt so fucking short, oh god…

“els?” she snapped out of her mind when you called out for her, and you pretended to not know, to not notice the way she was staring at you.

“yeah, sure.” she managed to say, stepping closer, trying not to think too much about how good you smelled. she was almost brushing you as she reached for it, and you moved back just the slightest to lay on her. she took a deep breath and handed it to you.

you smiled, looking up at her with those sweet eyes of yours and plushy lips.

“thanks.” you said, and she had to look and step away, or else she’d sure fuck it all up and kiss you right now.

living with you was easy, or at least it was, before she had developed a crush on you. she couldn’t help it really. ‘cause you were beautiful, and funny, and smart, and gentle and…

shit. she was truly whipped.

she loved spending time with you, and seeing you smile… but also hated the fact that she couldn’t cuddle up with you while on movie night, or kiss the lipgloss off of your lips every time you did your makeup…

sometimes all she wanted was to answer to your flirty texts how she really wanted to, but she knew that you were probably messing up with her since you two were good friends… right?

sometimes… sometimes they really got to her.

you had gone away for the weekend to visit your parents, and you were missing ellie… so why not text her?

els…

hey pretty girl, how’s everything at your parents ?

‘s good, but i miss you

i feel so alone when you’re not around…

ellie couldn’t help but blush, her heart jumping in her chest. she missed you too. so fucking much…

i miss you too

but dw, i’m sure the time will pass soon

but i want you now

her eyes widened, her breath hitched.

you need me?

mmmh, wish you were here

she sighed. she knew you weren’t texting this in a dirty way. you loved having ellie around, and you’d told her so many many times, but her mind couldn’t help but wonder… think about the possibility that you were, think about what you could be wearing. would you be on your pjs? maybe on just a shirt and panties, maybe…

her eyes closed as her hand palmed her cunt over her sweatpants.

she thought about you, about how sweet you sounded late at night when you were tired and begged her to sleep with you, about how you’ll always press yourself against her chest and play with her hair, about how you’d groan when she’d move just to bury your face on her neck, breath hitting her skin…

and before she knew it her hand was down her sweats, and she was so wet…

“fuck.” she groaned. “yeah baby? you need me? need me to fuck you all dumb and pretty for me, hm?” she gasped, her fingers rolled her clit. “i will, shit, i’ll fuck you so good…, will have you dripping all over my sheets…” she moaned loudly when her fingers plunged inside her cunt and started to fuck herself. “fuck, just like that baby, just like that…” her hips pushed against her hand. “so good…” she sighed, biting down on her lip when her fingers curled and hit that deep spot on her gummy walls that had her thighs shaking.

she lost herself to her pleasure, roughly fucking herself while thinking about you, whining and whimpering in need. shit, she knew she shouldn’t be thinking about you this way, but she was gonna cum, and she couldn’t stop.

it wasn’t long before she was cumming all over her fingers, grunting softly and moaning your name. she was breathing heavily once she had came down from it, and her fingers were glistening in cum when she finally pulled them out from her wet pussy.

her response to your message came minutes after.

why don’t i come and visit you?

-

ellie had started to catch some things about you. you seemed to love short skirts, like a lot. you were always wearing them around her. and god if it wasn’t driving her crazy. that, and that you liked to match your underwear to them.

tonight you had gone for black. the tiny mini jean skirt that you were wearing was pleaded, and so short that it was impossible to not show everything. and as always, you’d gone for her favorite: lace. black thin lace that hugged your ass so perfectly it had her uncomfortably shifting on the sofa, underwear getting wet.

fuck, this couldn’t be real. you looked too good, like a mother fucking dream. and she was fucking high.

“so that’s when i told her how bad her flirting was.” you laughed, smoking your own joint.

“how so?” she asked, wanting to hear you talk for ages and ages and ages. there was nothing she loved more than your voice.

“okay. so when you want to flirt with someone, you can do it in two simple ways.” you started, and she got comfortable, shifting to face you on the sofa. “the most subtle one, or the straight one.” she laughed.

“ ‘the subtle one’ ? what’s that?”

“well, for starters. the eyes. you need to like let them fall, just a little bit, look more relaxed, dazed, and blink slow…” you explained. “like this.” you did so, staring at ellie in a way that made her whole body run down in shivers, but she hide it, simply humming.

“yeah? what else?” you tried to hide a smirk, playing dumb. she was getting closer.

“touch.” you muttered, and your hand fell on her thigh, softly, just a simple stroke. ellie almost groaned. “just the slightest, and never enough.” you smiled, never moving up, where she was aching. “ and then… your lips.” you said. “bite them… lick them… if you wanna make it more straight forward do it while staring at the other’s lips.” you showed her, and she almost cursed. ‘cause you were looking at her lips as if you truly wanted to kiss her right now, and her hands were shaking.

she nodded when you looked back at her eyes.

“yeah.” she croaked, nodding. why was it so hot in here? “you’re… good.” she awkwardly said, clearing her throat, and you chuckled as she took a hit of her blunt.

‘you’re good’? seriously? jesus fucking christ.

“oh, i’m definitely good.” you teased her, and she almost choked. you laughed at the way her cheeks flushed and she coughed, green reddish eyes widening. “that’s the more forward option.” you clarified, and winked an eye.

yeah. it’s… definitely forward.

she coughed once again, drinking some water and shifting on her seat.

and you tried to play dumb when half an hour later ellie decided to say good night early, since she was ‘exhausted’, and you surely ignored every and each one of her sighs that came out loud enough to reach your ears on the other side of the wall.

-

ellie considered herself to be a really patient person. she knew how to hold it together. how to keep herself under control. but this…

you were just out of the shower when you got home, covered in just a mere fucking towel that almost didn’t cover you. your whole legs were exposed, your plushy thighs on display… droplets of water were still sticking to your chest, and your cheeks where flushed due to the hot steam. she couldn’t help but stare. stare at the little piece of cloth that hid your core, almost exposing you whole. she shifted awkwardly, trying to look away, but it was hard, every time her eyes finding back your beautiful body. shit. fuck.

your breasts were about to burst out of the towel, and when your eyes found her her heart stopped.

“els! you’re back.” you smiled at her. “how was your day?”

she looked at your eyes, trying really hard to keep them there. “uh…, ehm, good, yeah, what uhh, what about you?” she stuttered, and her cheeks flushed. fuck.

you rose your eyebrows. “everything okay ellie?” you inquired, taking a step closer. she almost took one backwards. “you seem kinda nervous.” you teased her, taking her one step closer.

“what are you doing?” she inquired, her voice low as you lifted your arms up her shoulders and circled her neck. she was boiling, her eyes falling to your chest as you curved your back and pushed it against hers.

“me?” you asked, puppy eyes and a lost gaze. playing pretend. “nothing…” you whispered, leaning in, your gaze on her plushy lips. you gasped and later let out a chocked out laughter when one of her hands snapped up to your neck, holding you still, only mere inches keeping you apart.

“you’re a fucking tease, you know that?” she chuckled, a pissed smirk on her face. “here you got me thinking i’m imagining the way you always seem to wear those tiny clothes around me, or how you talk and look at me… but you really are playing with me, aren’t you?” she muttered, one of her hands gripping your hip. to pull you against her. “did you have fun seeing how much i could take, hm?” her eyes were on your lips too. “did you wanted my attention that bad, baby?” you nodded, body aching. “well, you’ve got it.” she muttered before her lips crashed against yours, a needy moan leaving your mouth as you tugged on her hair and she pushed you against the wall, one of her thighs slotting in between your thighs.

“fuck, ellie…” you cried out when she ground you down on her leg, your clint deliciously rubbing against her jeans and dampening the clothing.

“you’re driving me insane.” she groaned, her skin itching to touch you, her bones aching to have you.

you moaned when the hand that was choking you harshly cupped your tit, the knot of the towel that covered becoming undone and exposing your breasts. her lips latched to your nipple as she pressed you harsher against the wall and the hand on her hip couldn’t help but move south, finding your core. she was needy, so horny that she felt she would die if she stopped touching you, making you let out those beautiful little sounds that you where whimpering.

“shit, and you’re so fucking wet…” you let out a scream when she plunged two fingers inside, instantly hitting your g spot. your back arched when she started to fuck you with them, you being so wet to made them slide easily in and out. “this what you wanted, huh? this is what my pretty girl needed, isn’t it? to be a little rough with her, fuck the little tease out of her, hm?”

“fuck, yes, ellie, yes…” you sobbed, moving against her hand, fucking her fingers deeper into your cunt. “wanted this for so long…” you whimpered in between the pants that left your lungs.

“yeah?” she teased you. “you poor thing. it’s okay baby, gonna make you feel so good…”

next thing you knew? she was on her knees, and you were moaning as her tongue lapped at your juices, lips sucking on your clit. your hand tangled on her hair, pulling for more. she hummed, eating you out with hunger. you were as sweet as she had imagined, and sounded just as beautiful too as she brought you closer and closer to your orgasm.

you were crashing your hips down against her mouth, her nose bumping against her clit over and over again. you were a mess as her fingers started to curve against your g spot, her tongue licking at your leaking hole. she hummed when you tugged on her hair, and you moaned when she pushed you down harder with her hand, eating you out like a starved woman. “fuck ellie, gonna cum…” you whimpered, so close to falling over the edge it was embarrassing.

“you gonna cum on my face, baby?” you nodded and she smirked. “that’s it, cum for me baby, atta girl.” and you did, ellie fucking you through it with her fingers as her lips sucked on your swollen and over sensitive clit, you were moaning her name over and over again as she licked everything you gave her, extending your orgasm and keeping you up when your legs wobbled. “you did so good for me… such a good girl…” you moaned at her praise, and tugged from her hair for more when she was back on her feet and kissing you, letting you taste yourself on her lips. “gonna keep being a good girl and help me make me feel good?” she inquired, and you nodded. “that’s my girl.” she smiled, and before you knew it, she was tugging from your hand towards her bedroom.

♡

a/n; enough smut or do we want more? 🤭

ellie williams masterlist! <3

xxx

[nikosaki]

Hello there 👋, I hope you’re having a great day

I saw that you’re open for some requests, may I request some scenario/short fic for Fyodor Dostoevsky, in a story where Fyodor and Reader (female) are childhood friends, and they both got separated for some quite long time due to some family business reasons, because of that, Reader doesn’t recognize Fyodor anymore (she still remembers him, but she forgot how his face looks like). One day, they both meet again at the moment where Fyodor got captured by Ace (the white haired mafia executive from season 3 episode 4), and reader was currently working as his subordinate, I don’t know if you’re accepting some angst with happy ending, but if you don’t, then you’re allowed to decline this request, that’s all, thank you 🙏💖

"Come with me, my angel. I will sew your wings back where they belong"

Summary: You were but a flower in the wide open to him fo back in his childhood you were the only companion he had, now Fyodor meets you again but in hands of another man, will he truly resurect you or leave you as you be?

Genre: hurt to comfort (kindaof), romance Warnings:fem reader, suicide (implied for ace), slight manipulation, follows canon events of the episode, dialogues are different, not proofread, reader collapses because of overload information

A/N: this seemed so intresting :0

Fyodor remembers it all, from the day you had first met him in a fancy doll-like attire to the day he lost you.

He remembers everything.

✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦

"I get to choose the type of game we play" the white-haired man says a tint of arrogance splayed on his tone, ace thought he had everything in control from his subcordiates to the hostage infront of him. He had already debated he would win.

"Go ahead" the man replies back his thick russian accent hiding an enigma. You were simply Ace`s right hand but how tired you were from this mans arrogance as if he was the king or something.

"Hm, this man seems quite intelligent i wonder if he can beat Ace, i really do hope he does" you think to urself you always remained quiet and god had somehow accepted your request

"Name! go get a stash of playing cards" Aces harsh tone cuts your thoughts off as you slightly roll your eyes and leave to get the cards. The thing you didnt know was the purple-eyed sharp gaze you may have forgotten who he was but he didnt.

"Is she another of your subcordinate?" he asks, fake curiosity in his tone. "Why yes could you not see the collar around her neck? Such a pretty face should not go to waste!" Ace mocks not knowing you were behind the door gritting your teeth.

"Sir, i have brought the items" you break their conversation bending over to hand over the stash of items "Ah finally" Ace heaves in exaustaion as if hes the one who was made to fetch them, his hand snatching the deck of cards hastily.

You couldnt care any less about the game they were playing but you could only focus on the man infront of you, beautiful amethyst eyes dark bags under them and luscious raven like hair one would mistake them for the feathers of a real crow.

Where have you seen such soft hair before?...

"Name, this is Fyodor Dostoevsky" the woman you called mother told you introducing you to the boy infront of you "Well then we will leave you two in the library while we talk about important matters.

Just like that your parents left and you approached the sickly boy crouching down to the wooden floor. "Why do you look so sickly?" you ask the boy as he only glares at you one could say, a tired glare.

"Maybe because i am sick?"

With that you and the sickly boy had interacted more talking and talking for hours, Actually you didnt even care how many hours it had been past back then. The words he uttered made it seemed endless and his topics made you less bored.

Even for fyodor, he was piqued in you, though you may looked like a mindless puppet back then, you had a mind compared to a jungle filled with wild flowers, how etheral and terrifying was something so vast and wide.

“Dear, we must go now bid farewell now” your mother’s voice rang out from the door of the warm and cozy library. “Ah farewell, dostoevsky” you stand up pushing the dust off from your white skirt. “Please, call me fyodor” fyodor quietly replies to which you only smile

“Alright, fyodor”

The next couple of days, you remembered how you had met with this young Russian boy and spent much of your time with him, he was far more interesting than any books you have read or any jewels you inspected.

You remember sitting down under the shadows of oak trees talking about the world beyond this small area of russia.

“Do you believe in immortality?” He asked “Maybe, why” she answered to his question which held thousands of answers but he who asked remained silent.

You remained silent watching the men in front of you play deck cards, apparently it was a guessing game.

“Ah” fyodors voice caught you back to the game, he had guessed the last card to your shock but the one who was most shocked was Ace but before you could react he had smashed a wine bottle on the winners head, staining red wine all over his face.

All of this shocked you as you watched ace walk out angrily and just sighed.

“That was really smart of you, Dostoevsky.” Ah- the name you first called him, you had really forgotten have you? “Was it? Well I simply memorised all of the cards imprints layer flat on the table” he remarked nonchalantly. “Simply? That’s quite impressive in my eyes though” you answered back rubbing his ravenous feather like hair with a soft towel as all the other subordinates watched from afar. “Say, what is your ability?” you ask putting his ushnanka “Well my ability allows me to control time and ability” the man answered tilting his head towards you.

He lnsists it’s his ability only for you to kneel down next to his ear, away from the pipe attached to the ceiling

“You are a liar”

Your voice softly whispers in his ears but instead of him being shocked at your intellectual guess, the man can only smirk as he replies back. “Correct, моя дорогая мышка”

Your eyes dilate in shock, the name he called you…

You remember he used to call you this same exact pet name all the time but just because your memories from your past stays on the other side of the storm that doesn’t mean you can’t see through the clouds.

✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦

Anxiety casted over you as your eyes meet the disastrous scene unfold infront of you. The white haired man came back but at what cost? The cost of disbelieving in god, the thought brushes over you as you stare at Ace’s hanging body and the little boys corpse.

“Both of them are dead, моя любовь” a voice corrects behind you as you instantly turn around. You stare at the so man who had defeated the port mafia executive, such a man was capable of causing such destruction.

Even so your curiosity seeped through, “Wh- no what are you…?” Your voice could have make a croak when you felt his lip bitten fingers rise your chin towards his menacing eyes.

You could only stare at the man’s eyes, how can a man be so pretty yet cruel at the same time?

“My dear [name], do you not remember the boy you talked under the skies of Moscow city?” your eyes widen.

“Fyodor? Fyodor Dostoevsky?” This was too much for you, all of the memories appearing in your head like slideshows, your head was feeling dizzy but it was him! Your friend

And before you could say anything you felt your body collapse, with your head falling on his chest not that fyodor was surprised since it went as he planned

His hands pick you up and carries your dizzy form to the boat. After that you didn’t know what happened but somehow you had woken up in a cozy bed.

“Ah моя любовь, you are awake from your slumber I see.” Fyodors calm voice calls out, a much softer and less intimidating smile on his face.

You remain silent before getting up and inspecting his face. “It’s really you..” you try to reach out for his face but hesitate for a while but he says nothing before grabbing your hand.

“[name] I will wholeheartedly explain everything to you, but firstly would you care to join in my mission of redeeming the worlds pure form?” He takes your hand gently and brings it to his lips, looking at you adoringly.

“That means murder and violence am I right, Fyodor?” You ask still captivated by his beauty. “You are quite witty after all” he chuckles to himself

you move away your hand move closer to him before cupping his face and locking your forehead with his, which caught fyodor off guard.

“Yes, yes I will fedya. Anything to be back with you again but this time don’t leave me…please” “of course I won’t, моя дорогая мышка”

a/n: OH MG I AM SO SORRY ANON THIS TOOK SOO LONG

divider: @hyelitas

[lunarfleur]

Official request: Boxer Bf!Miles with his partner (bf if you could) watching as Miles punches a bag or something and makes sure to keep Miles on a strict break schedule so he doesn’t get too tired from working out. Break times include kisses <3

Into The Ring ~ Earth 42! Miles Morales (Boxer au)

Summary: There was something about working off all your energy that calmed him. Any and all tension faded away, left only with who he was and his love for you.

Tagging: @juneberrie @sluggmuffin @kombuuuu @hiyaitssans @ivys-graveyard

Warnings:Slight mention of fighting, mention of blood, slight nudity but not really (he’s shirtless)

A/N: Reader is also a boxer. I’m very glad I got this request. Also…3 pieces in one day?? Hello??

This is x male reader!

You took a long swig of water, squeezing the bottle tightly. Sweat dripped down your skin. You watched the sight in front of you.

There was no one else around. Everyone else had already gone home for the night. But Miles? He was still going at it. He had been for an hour and a half.

The gym was how you met him, actually. When everyone else was tired and sweaty and getting ready to leave, he was always there. It was like he something to prove. Something kept him there for hours on end.

He used it as anger management. Miles had a lot to be angry about; his mother being overworked and not paid nearly enough, his father’s death, those jackass kids at school who think that, just because he seems tough, they can say whatever they want. It got to him. It really did.

It was a mesmerizing sight, though. The push and pull of his muscles, the was his smooth, bare skin glimmered under the light, the way his braids bounced as he moved. His mouth was parted slightly, dense and heavy breaths leaving with each punch. His ankles were taped. He was wearing his knee brace, too. Miles truly was beautiful.

You grabbed his shirt, which he had discarded the second people started to leave, and walked over. Your water bottle was still in your hand. Once you got close he stopped, taking out one Airpod to look at you. He panted and gasped.

You passed him the bottle. He took it quickly, taking a fast drink just to hand it back to you. You sighed. He never wanted to leave.

“Miles, honey, let’s go home.” You nodded at him.

“Couple more minutes, baby,” he replied, going back to the punching bag.

“Miles, if you don’t learn how to stop you’re gonna kill yourself.”

You tossed his shirt at his head. He brought his hand up, grabbing it. He stared at you. Miles knew you were right.

“‘Kay,” he sighed, slipping the shirt over his head.

“Don’t pout,” you groaned, grabbing him by the wrist to pull him closer to you. “You’re just gonna come back tomorrow.”

Miles wrapped his arm around your shoulder after slipping off his gloves. He kissed your temple. You didn’t mind the sweat, really. Or the smell.

“Guapo, you know I’d be fine if I kept going.”

“But you wouldn’t stop until you couldn’t move. That’s the problem.” It made you sad, really. He was just like his mother in that sense, always taking more than he has to. But Miles smiled nonetheless, chuckling.

“Mi hombre, always lookin’ out for me, huh?”

“If I didn’t, who would?”

This made Miles laugh. It was rare for it to happen in such a way-loud and comfortable. There was something about working off all your energy that calmed him. Any and all tension faded away, left only with who he was and his love for you.

You both walked over to the bench, packing up your things. You told him how attractive he was when he was beating the shit out of the bag. He told you everything you make him feel when you say such things. You told him what you wanted to do when you got back to his place-shower, change, and fall asleep to a movie after eating. He told you he wanted to same.

You two boys were the last to leave the building, walking hand-in-hand out the door. The first things you saw was the setting sun.

You stared at Miles while you walked. His skin, despite the fact that his sweat had dried, shined against the light of the sky. His face was relaxed. He looked at peace. He looked happy, and very pretty.

“Whatchu lookin’ at, baby?” He asked, smirking.

“You,” you responded, smirking right along with him.

“Oh yeah? See something you like?” His smirk grew with his words.

He let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

“Yeah, I do. You look so pretty like this.”

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 9/4

What am I feeling today?

I’m feeling pretty encouraged! I got so kind many messages yesterday celebrating my one year as a disciple and I just truly felt loved and cared for. Although, I’m not so much feeling anxious per se, I’m just feeling anticipatory about a few things. There’s a conversation I need to have with someone tonight that I’ve been putting off for months now. Also I just have campus things to do and then I have to prepare to share for communion as well and I’m just feeling a tad overwhelmed but I just keep giving it over to God in prayer.

Bible Plan: Rethinking Love and Romance

Another story that helps us understand true love comes from the book of Ruth. Some see this book as the Hebrew Bible’s famous love story. Girl gleans in a field. Boy sees girl gleaning. Girl uncovers boy’s feet (we’ll have to unpack that one later). Boy marries girl. A baby is born. The end. It’s like a Hallmark movie, right? But what if it’s not like a modern love story at all?

The story begins with an Israelite family in the land of Moab. Naomi and Elimelech have two sons who are married to Moabite women, one named Ruth and the other Orpah. Tragically, Naomi’s husband and two sons die. All Ruth and Orpah have left is their widowed mother-in-law, Naomi, who has nothing to give them. Naomi says she will return to her hometown, Bethlehem, and that Ruth and Orpah should stay in Moab with their own people (Ruth 1:11-13). Naomi has nothing more to give Ruth or Orpah that might “complete them” or satisfy them, and she warns against staying with her because doing so will surely bring more suffering.

Orpah agrees with Naomi’s logic, but Ruth expresses true love toward Naomi through a profound commitment, saying, “Where you go, I will go. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God” (Ruth 1:16). Ruth promises to stay by Naomi’s side and take care of her. As the story unfolds and other people see Ruth’s loyalty to Naomi, they call her actions “loyal love,” or in Hebrew, “khesed” (Ruth 3:10-11). Khesed is marked by deep feelings of affection shown through acts of generosity and forgiveness and a commitment to the other’s well-being. It is an outward expression of real love.

Ruth’s khesed is not conditional or based on what Naomi can do for her. Her khesed is a gift—an outpouring of her loving character.

Later in the story, Boaz can’t help but notice Ruth’s loyal love (Ruth 3:11). He blesses her, and she reciprocates with loving generosity, leading to his desire to marry her. The authors parallel his loving commitment to Ruth’s—Boaz embraces the way of loyal love toward their family.

What kind of love is this? Could love between a mother and daughter-in-law teach us what it means to love someone romantically? The Bible gives us a beautiful picture of true love even though it doesn’t fit into modern ideas about romantic love. Wouldn't the best, most intense and fulfilling romantic relationship a person could experience be one where each person in the relationship acts in ways that preserve, protect, and cause flourishing for the other? To give and not take? To consider the other’s needs above their own? To humbly sacrifice for the mutual blessing, shalom (Hebrew for “peace” or “wholeness”), and tov of the other?

In today’s video, explore the story of Ruth, a tale of love, loss, faithfulness, and redemption.

Ruth 1:16-18 NIV

“But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.”

I feel like these verses encapsulate the love that we are meant to be shown by Ruth. She was so incredibly loyal to Naomi and it was truly admirable! Through the video and explanation above you can see that the powerful act of love had a lasting impact and even lead to the birth of Jesus which is so incredible! God’s hand is in everything, His plan is unfolding exactly as it needs to and it’s just so fascinating how everything is connected in a bigger picture that we cannot even begin to fathom.

[dumbasslesbi2]

But I Thought You Had a Girlfriend? ~ Chapter 4 (Agatha x Rio Students AU)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Summary:

Agatha and Rio have been caught by Agatha's mother, Evanora. Will their relationship be able to survive this?

Notes:

Hey y'all I'm back! Just warning, the series is coming to an end! Only two more chapters about our beautiful couple but trust I'll still be writing lol. As always please tell me if there's any misspelling or grammatically incorrect stuff, I have dyslexia so sometimes I miss some stuff.

“AGATHA HARKNESS WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS” Evanora screamed, disgusted with the scene before her. Agatha and Rio awoke, scared by the yelling and looked at each other in horror. Rio knew about how cruel her mother was and how much she disapproved about Agatha being a lesbian. Instantly, Rio put herself in front of Agatha to protect her. “Mother?! What are you doing here?” Agatha asked, unsure of what to do. “I was able to get an earlier flight, now what is the meaning of this. Who is this girl?” Evanora told her sternly. “Um, this is Rio, s-she’s uh, she’s um-” “I’m her girlfriend” Rio interrupted Agatha, knowing that it may not be for the best that she told her mother but she didn’t care. She would protect Agatha at all costs. “I suspected as such. Well Rio, please leave my house” Evanora stated, moving to give Rio a path to leave. Rio looked back at Agatha and was met with a nod that she should leave. Rio got her belongings and left but not without looking at Agatha again to make sure she truly wanted her to leave. “It’s ok Rio” Agatha said, looking at her solemnly. Rio left the house but not without a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. She decided to sit in her car just in case of anything happening, just because they told her to leave didn’t mean she had to go home. “Now, Agatha. We talked about this, you have to stop this disease of your’s.” Evanora told her, closing the door. “Mother I-I can’t help it, it’s not a disease Mother. We can work around it.” Agatha pleaded, hoping her mother wouldn’t do what she thought she was going to do. “Agatha, we’ve talked about this, if my daughter can not be good then I have no daughter. Now tell me, what is that girl to you?” Evanora asked rhetorically. Agatha knew the answer her mother wanted but she couldn’t, there was nothing Rio was but her lover. “She’s my girlfriend,” Agatha stated, unable to look at her mother. “Just because she’s my girlfriend doesn’t mean I can’t be good. I can be good mother. I can be good” Agatha pleaded, tears in her eyes as she looked up at her mother. She was returned only with a cold stare. “As far as I am aware, I have no daughter. You have till the end of today and then I don’t want to ever see you in this house” Evanora stated, opening the door to leave. “NO! Mother please don’t do this” Agatha cried, pleading with her mother to not kick her out. “As far as I’m aware I am no longer your mother. I have no daughter now as far as I’m concerned” she stated, leaving the room. Agatha cried and cried until she was able to calm herself. She thought of calling Wanda but ended up getting a text from Rio.

Hey baby, everything all right? If you need to call I'm here for you <3 

Uh actually yeah can I call you? 

Agatha had tears forming in her eyes just from texting Rio. Her emotions were catching up with her again and she didn't know what to do. When she saw the call incoming she immediately picked up “Hi baby” Rio said in a soft tone, leaning back into her car seat. Agatha couldn't reply, all that came out were tears and muffled crying. Rio was heartbroken but also the most angered she had ever been in her life. She vowed that Agatha would never be left like this ever again and would do everything in her lower to help her. “Agatha stay there, open your window, I'm coming” Rio said, already opening her car door. “No-no. No please. No, Rio please don't. Not right now” Agatha pleaded into her phone. Rio wasn't sure what to do but she closed her door and stayed in her car. “Fine but only because you said not to” Rio said, hoping to cheer up Agatha. “T-thank you. I just- I- I don't know what to do Rio. My mom's kicking me out” she cried into the phone, cradling herself on her bed. “What?! What the fuck. Baby it's gonna be ok. I swear we'll figure this out ok. Agatha everything is going to be ok” Rio said trying to calm herself down as well. “I don't know what to do Rio, I have no where to go” she said, more tears forming in her eyes. “It'll be ok. Just- you'll stay with me ok” Rio said calmly as possible into her phone. “I can't do that to you Rio. I can't burden you-” “You're not a burden. You are never a burden” Rio interrupted Agatha sternly. “But Rio-” “No Agatha, no questions about it, you're staying at my place and then we'll figure all this out, ok?” Rio said, interrupting Agatha again. “Ok” Agatha said quietly. “I'm still outside, just bring all the stuff you can right now and we'll go to my place, ok?” Rio asked, trying to restrain all the anger she had towards Agatha's mother. “Yeah, ok, I'll be out in a hour probably. Have to pack some stuff and then I'll be out” Agatha told her quietly, sniffling into her phone. “That's fine baby, take your time” Rio said softly. After about an hour and a half, Agatha came out with a couple boxes and Rio helped her put everything in her car. Her mother didn't come out at all and if anything she was smart to do so or else Rio would have probably stabbed her.

The drive to Rio’s place was quiet but Agatha couldn't help but break down again. Rio pulled over and immediately started comforting her. “ It's ok baby, everything is going to be ok. You're ok” Rio said, hugging Agatha. She couldn't help but cry more and break down more when Rio comforted her. She's never shown this side of her to anyone and whenever she remotely showed this side to her mother, she was immediately punished. After about 30 minutes Agatha was finally able to calm down and get her breathing regulated. “Thank you, for uh all that” she told Rio, struggling to talk with her throat sore after all the crying. “Baby you don't have to thank me for all this, all that matters is that you're safe now” Rio said, cupping Agatha's face. “Still though, can we just get to your place?” Agatha asked, nuzzling into Rio's hand. “Yeah, we're close, just 3 more blocks” Rio said, putting her hand on Agatha's tigh. After about five minutes they made it to Rio’s family house. “Stay here for a minute, let me just talk to my grandma and I'll be back. I swear it'll be super quick” Rio told Agatha, pecking her cheek. She then got out of the car as fast as she could and opened the door. “Rio! What the hell, why are you acting crazy??” Her cousin questioned. “Not right now, where's abuelita?” Rio asked, rushing over to the stairs. “Up in her room watching her novelas, why?” Her cousin asked but before she could even finish her sentence, Rio was already running upstairs. “¡Abuela! ¡Necesito un favor!“ (Grandma! I need a favor) Rio yelled rushing into her grandmother's room. “¡Espera! ¡Espera! ¿Por qué estás así? ¿Qué pasó?” (Wait! Wait! Why are you like this, what happened?) her grandmother questioned, turning off the tv. “¿Recuerdas cuando te decía que mi novia es la que me ha estado ayudando en la escuela y que por eso no estoy libre los fines de semana? Bueno, ella necesita un lugar donde vivir... “ (Remember when I was saying that my girlfriend is the one who has been helping me in school and that's why I'm not free during the weekends? Well, she needs a place to live…) Rio asked awkwardly, unsure of how her grandmother would answer. “¿Por qué? ¿Qué pasó? ¿Por qué no tiene un lugar donde vivir? (Why? What happened, why doesn't she have a place to stay?) Her grandmother asked, completely taken aback from the question. “Su mamá la echó de casa, se enteró de que somos novias.” (Her mom kicked her out, she found out we're girlfriend's) Rio said nervously, hoping her grandmother would let Agatha stay. “Y ella ya estás aquí?” (And she's already here?) her grandmother asked, staring into Rio’s eyes. “ Sí, ella está esperando en mi carro” (Yes, she's waiting in my car) Rio told her truthfully. “Pues, ella lo puede vivir aquí pero van a compartir tu cuarto “ (well, she can stay here but you'll have to share your room) her grandmother told her with a smile. “No preocupes, eso no es un problema para nosotras” (don't worry, that's not a problem for us) Rio said happily, running downstairs and out of the house.

Rio told Agatha that everything was fine and that she could come in. They unloaded a lot of Agatha's things in Rio's room (especially since she didn't have that much stuff anyways). “I know it's not much but if you want a studio space, I turned the garage into a mini studio” Rio told her as she guided Agatha. “Rio, this is beautiful “ Agatha said in awe of all the hanging plants and the beautiful aesthetic of the home studio. “Thanks baby” Rio said, giving Agatha a kiss on the cheek. “Ew” said Rio's cousin, scaring the couple. “I came over to tell y'all dinner is ready” she said walking away from the couple. Rio groaned in embarrassment while Agatha was giggling as they walked back into the house. Dinner was a bit awkward to say the least. There was a bit of awkward silent until Rio's grandmother broke the silence. “So uh, girl?” Her grandmother questioned, not knowing Agatha's name. “Se llama Agatha abuelita” (Her name is Agatha grandma) said Rio. “Agatha, I hope you're enjoying your time here” Rio's grandmother said with a smile. “Oh yes, thank you for letting me stay here Miss Vidal. If you guys need any help around the house please let me know! I'm more than happier to help with anything while here.” Agatha said, smiling back at the old lady. “Thank god cause someone here hasn't been doing her chores” Rio's cousin said, glaring at Rio. “Hey! I do my chores!” Rio exclaimed, upset at being accused. “Uh huh, sure “ her cousin said with an eye rolls. “Niñas! Por favor! ¡Pórtense bien!” ( Girls! Please! Behave yourselves!) Rio's grandmother said, slamming on the table. “Lo siento abuelita” (sorry grandma) the two girls said in unison. Agatha couldn't help giggle a bit and Rio gave her a look. After dinner, Agatha washed the dishes which she in fact had to fight to do since Rio and Rio’s grandma didn't want her to do it but she didn't care. She wanted to help around the house. While she was finishing the dishes, Rio hugged her from behind since her cousin and grandma were upstairs. “Hi baby” Agatha said above a whisper. “Hi sweetheart” Rio said , resting her head on her shoulder. “You know you didn't have to do this and I'm not gonna hear the end of this from my grandma yeah?” Rio joked, squeezing one of Agatha's sides. “Yeah I know but I wanted to do the dishes, it's the least I could do” she said, giggling. “When you're done you wanna head to my room?” Rio asked, kissing her shoulder. “Yeah that sounds good” Agatha said, finishing drying the last dish. After a bit of cuddling in Rio’s bed and watching another horror film, Agatha couldn’t help but want to ask Rio a question but she didn’t know how to bring it up. “Hey Rio?” Agatha asked, saying fuck it and ask the question she’s been itching to ask. “Yeah baby?” Rio asked, pausing the movie. “Can I ask you a personal question, like super personal?” Agatha asked, biting her lip. “Yeah, of course. Ask away.” Rio told her, turning to face her. “Where are your parents?” Agatha asked, unsure of what answer she was going to get. “Oh uh, wow wasn’t expecting that” Rio said, looking down. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to! I didn’t mean to-” “No it’s okay, I should have told you earlier” Rio interrupted Agatha, knowing she would go on a rant of apologizing. “They uh, they died when I was thirteen” Rio said, solemnly looking at Agatha. “They died in a car crash when I was in middle school which is why I was new in highschool. That’s also why I was so quiet freshman year and didn’t really talk to anyone. Alice was the only one who opened up and became my friend so I never really came out of my shell I guess” Rio said, playing with Agatha’s fingers. She looked up and saw tears in Agatha’s eyes. “Agatha! What’s wrong!” Rio said, cupping her face. “If I knew earlier I would have talked to you. You were so alone and so hurt and I could have helped but I was no better than everyone else” Agatha said, sniffling. “Aw baby, it’s not your fault.

You didn’t know so don’t blame yourself. Plus we have each other now which is all that matters” Rio told her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Still though, I’m sorry Rio” Agatha said, hugging Rio and putting her head on her shoulder. “Thank you baby” Rio said, with tears forming in her eyes. They both leaned back and both started giggling with tears in their eyes. Rio said fuck it and kissed Agatha. Even though it was a wet kiss, it was a necessary kiss for the both of them.  It showed them that they were both safe with each other and have each other no matter what. When they both detached from the kiss, Rio wiped away Agatha’s tears still flowing. “Baby I’m tired, is it ok if we go to bed?” Rio asked, rubbing Agatha’s arm. “Yeah, I’m tired too” Agatha told her, giggling a bit. As the two got ready and under the covers Rio couldn’t help herself. “Hey Agatha?” Rio asked, cuddling more into her. “I love you” Agatha said with a groan, knowing what Rio was going to do. She couldn’t help but genuinely laugh before saying “I love you too Agatha”

[singlesablog]

Nothing Ever Lasts Forever

“Everybody Wants to Rule the World” (1985) Tears for Fears Phonogram / Mercury  Records (Written by Roland Orzabal, Ian Stanley, Chris Hughes) Highest U.S. Billboard Chart Position – No. 1 I would suggest that what makes a song truly memorable, rather than its intention or craft, is the special, unidentifiable magic that allows the  listener to enter into the feeling of it.  The Police could sing “De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da” in 1980, and by the end of the song, one knew what they meant, kind of.  In pop music, “kind of” is good enough.  Such is the moment of what is arguably Tears for Fears most enduring song, “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”.  In an album full of big songs (Songs from the Big Chair), and portentous messages (“Shout”, “Mothers Talk”, “The Working Hour”) as well as a gigantic, bombastic love opera (“Head Over Heels”), it was the last effort to be recorded, the album being short one song (the final only 8 tracks), and inspired by two chords Roland Orzabal kept playing over and over during down studio moments.  Paired with an idea of a song originally entitled “Everybody Wants to go to War”, spurred on by producer Chris Hughes (a major contributor to the sound and feeling of the record, a masterpiece of old fashioned layered studio sound), and introduced by a sparkling synthesizer coda devised by keyboardist Ian Stanley, the song was recorded in a week (the shortest of any they attempted), was not much loved by the two singers, and then indeed took over the world.

Tears for Fears where formed by Roland Orzabal (Roland Jaime Orzabal de la Quintana) and Curt Smith in Bath, Somerset, England in 1981, after deciding to leave their first new wave band, Graduate.  They were barely 21 years old when their very first record, The Hurting, debuted in 1983.  The record was an immediate success, with the single “Mad World” charting at No. 3 in the UK, and they were almost immediately very famous.  The Hurting was never a record I personally warmed to, not being a hit in the US in its time, and rather overlong and same-y in its synth sound (although I appreciate that to many this is sacrilege, and that they will want me strung up).  The general outlook and themes of the band’s two main performers, based on Arthur Janov’s primal therapy/primal scream, was extremely heavy-handed, if sincere, and weighed the album down.  It is apropos that when they finally met Janov later in the 1980s they were disillusioned by the fact that he had “gone Hollywood” and that he asked them to help write a musical based on his theories for him.

Songs from the Big Chair was to be a continuation of the same themes of lost childhoods (the title taken from the book and television movie “Sybil”, starring Sally Field, and the big chair being the safe chair in therapy where she could let her multiple personalities appear and subsequently sort out her traumatic past), but rather organically the record moved away from pure synth sounds and into standard instrumentation. In fact, I had not appreciated how much of a guitar, bass, and drums record it is until renting the Classic Albums episode on the making of the record; it is indeed full of gigantic guitar solos, lonely sax, thundering drums, and on “Head Over Heels”, the piano (!) as the driving instrument.  The synth work in it (mostly by Stanley) is beautiful and atmospheric, but the soul of the album is in the studio space commandeered by Chris Hughes, as well as the slow and methodical layering of sound that makes the record so special and successful.

Management, being nervous of the insular themes the two main band members, were committed to, begged for, a single, a “driving song”, something that would inspire the listener to roll down the car window and hum along, and perhaps Chris Hughes knew this when he pushed them to flesh out the song.  According to the documentary it was one accident after another: Orzabal’s overly strong singing style naturally suggested that Curt Smith take the lead, which brought a wistfulness to it; the lyrics, cobbled together, were snatches of blurry ideas only tangentially related; the shuffle beat of the song, rather than being driving and ambitious like the rest of the album, was subtle and dreamlike; and the very throwaway nature of the track lead to a kind of gentle creativity.  “Shout”, the first big single they recorded during those sessions, had set the tone of the record for Hughes, but it was “Everybody” that is perhaps the lasting achievement from the LP.  With the droning synthesized voices in the back of the track, the synth sounds, wonderful guitar (yes, including a blazing solo), and the mysterious blending of their two voices, it immediately invokes “that” year when you hear it, perhaps even the entire decade, by not being exactly representative of the band’s sound and purpose.  Wistful and ponderous, the song has endured.  We all know that “Shout, shout, let it all out” is the real credo for the two of them, but “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”, like the proverbial tortoise, snuck up from behind their giant themes to deliver their message much more softly than either of the two very emotive singers could ever have intended.

Scenes from the video for "Everybody Wants to Rule the World", shot in Los Angeles, and directed by Nigel Dick, in 1985.

Don’t get me wrong—Songs from the Big Chair is indeed a masterpiece, each track one gem after another, and as a record, a very solid gestalt.  Mostly it is a beautiful and mysterious album, one I have never tired of, and entirely deserving of its fame.  Sadly, the relentless touring of the album (and their relative very young ages) ruined the relationship for Roland and Curt, and after the long, overblown production for the follow up LP The Seeds of Love (which took three long years to record, so obviously difficult it was to follow Big Chair) that they split up in 1991, and remained estranged for nearly 10 years, with Roland recording for the band alone.  With their dour, pouty looks and fisherman’s sweaters, it is not clear that either band member ever actually wanted to rule over anything, but fame obviously had different plans for them.  Considering the single today, not understanding exactly what “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” alludes to has ironically made the song even more persistent as a statement; beyond the gentle suggestions of the music, one cannot help but think of it as either a forecast of the greed of its era, or perhaps as the dream of a dream for the 1980s.

However, Tears for Fears' most successful single is still miraculously casting that very same spell it did in 1985. A mood will always be a mood. ***

Chris Hughes, instrumental as producer for the sound of Big Chair, co-wrote “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”. He began his career as the drummer for Adam and the Ants, and produced the band’s very influential Kings of the Wild Frontier album in 1980.  He was the producer of both The Hurting and Songs from the Big Chair, and co-produced Peter Gabriel’s “Red Rain” from the album So.

Roland Orzabal and Curt Smith are both 62 years old. 

Producer Chris Hughes is 70.  

Ian Stanley (keyboardist) is 67.  He was unhappy with the direction of Tears for Fears’ The Seeds of Love (1989), which he considered lightweight by comparison, and split from the band, eventually working with many artists, including Howard Jones on that famously heavyweight album Cross That Line (1989), and which produced his comeback single “Everlasting Love” (No. 12 in the US).

Roland and Curt reunited in 2001 and recorded tracks for Everyone Loves a Happy Ending, promising a follow-up.

Eighteen years later, in 2023, The Tipping Point was released to near universal praise and chart success, their most personal and cohesive record as a duo since Songs from the Big Chair.  The scream was back, more plaintive than primal, and much more suited to their age and experience.

[stewpid-soup]

okay, i just watched The Substance, a psychological horror/thriller + body horror film I HIGHLY recommend - so many spoilers!!

for anyone who doesn’t want spoilers, have a good rest of ur day and take care of yourselves <33

take a pic of my cat Luna for your troubles :3

OKAY SO THIS FUCKING FILM- I COULD LITERALLY GO ON ABT THIS FOR HOURS

THE WAY IT WAS SUCH A MASTERPIECE IN WAYS I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!!!

Like, it’s rare I watch a movie and think “yeah, i have absolutely zero complaints and i would watch this over and over until it’s seared into my brain” — BUT THIS HIT EVERY MARK!!

THE GORE & BODY HORROR - INFINITY/10 BECAUSE OH MY GOD???? ME AND MY MOM WERE JUST OVERJOYED ABT THE GORE AND MY DAD JUST COULDNT HANDLE IT- HE WAS PHYSICALLY CRINGING BC OF IT - IS IT THE MOST REALISTIC SHIT? OBVIOUSLY NOT (i would be more concerned if they perfected gore to look realistic ngl), BUT THE SHEER AMOUNT OF IT AND THE SOUNDS AND THE WAY YOU SEE IT AND THINK “oh god, that would fucking hurt” THE SHIT THAT MAKES YOU CRINGE AND SHIVER AT THE THOUGHT OF!

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY - 10/10 - THE CUTSCENES, THE LIGHTING, THE WAY IT REALLY SHOVES THINGS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE AND SAYS “Look at this! Look at the horrifying things this woman is doing to feel like she is enough! See in 4K how she destroys her own body to keep the only thing she knows gives her worth, the only thing that makes people find her worth talking to— her body!” My mother suffers from chronic migraines so yes, the amount of flashing lights in it can be a bit jarring (so warning for anyone who is prone to seizures or is light sensitive). But to me it doesn’t feel like it’s too overdone, like many horror films tend to do with flashing lights— it makes sense why those sequences are there, it makes sense why they choose the lighting, to me: it makes sense and seems to align with the story

THE ACTING - DEMI MOORE (Actress who plays Elizabeth Sparkle) FUCKING POPPED OFF WITH THIS?!!??? AND MARGARET QUALLEY (Actress who plays Sue)!!! GOD, THE WAY I COULD FEEL THE RAGE WHEN SUE WAS CHASING ELIZABETH AROUND THE HOUSE! THE WAY ALL REASON WAS THROWN OUT THE WINDOW AND ALL SHE WANTED WAS TO TEAR HER OLD SELF APART BECAUSE IT’S EVERYTHING SHE LOATHES! THE WAY IT’S INGRAINED IN HER THAT SHE IS ONLY DESERVING OF BEING ALIVE BECAUSE SHE’S BEAUTIFUL! AND ELIZABETH— GOD, THE WAY I MY HEART WRENCHED WHEN SHE LOOKED IN THE MIRROR WHEN PREPPING FOR HER DATE WITH FRED! THE GOING BACK AND FORTH, THE ANGER AND FRUSTRATION AND SENSE OF DOOM BECAUSE SHE ISN’T THE “BETTER VERSION OF HERSELF”!! THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT THE BILLBOARD OUTSIDE HER WINDOW, THE WAY SHE MOCKED SUE’S INTERVIEW, THE SHAME SHE FELT FOR HER BODY BEFORE SHE USED THE SUBSTANCE— AND EVEN BY THE END OF THE FILM, IT NEVER WENT AWAY! IT WASN’T FIXED, SHE STILL HATED HERSELF. BUT SHE REALIZED TOO LATE THAT SHE RUINED NOT JUST HER BODY BUT HER QUALITY OF LIFE BY THE END! THAT SHE WAS LETTING THE NEED TO FIT THESE IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS CONTROL HER LIFE! OH MY GOD AND DENNIS QUAID (Harvey’s actor - the guy who fired Elizabeth and hired Sue)?!? LITERALLY JUST PLAYS THE “PIECE OF SHIT” PERSONA SO PERFECTLY!! THE WAY HIS CHARACTER IS SO DISGUSTING- AND NOT JUST BEHAVIOR WISE! THE FACT HE DOESNT WASH HIS HANDS AFTER THE BATHROOM OR THE FACT HE EATS AS LOUDLY AND MESSILY AS POSSIBLE WHILE FIRING SOMEONE, THE NONSTOP SMOKING — BUT ALSO HIS MISOGYNISTIC JABS, THE WAY HE ONLY WANTED TO HIRE A NEW, YOUNGER WOMAN BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THAT ELIZABETH LOST HER “SEX APPEAL” AND ISN’T SOMETHING THAT FITS THE MALE GAZE!! HIS LAUGH IRKS ME IN A WAY I CAN’T DESCRIBE! IT WAS FANTASTIC!!

THE PLOT OVERALL & THE MORAL(S) OF THE STORY - INFINITY/10 — LORD I AM TOO TIRED TO TYPE ALL OF THIS BUT FUCK MAN, IT REALLY REALLY HIT ME. Especially after the elections, knowing that our fucking president looks at women and says “your body, my choice”, this really hit hard for me. The way that the body horror truly encapsulates just how horrific the reality is for women who are popular in the media- the things they feel like they have to do to survive in such a toxic and disgusting environment! Women have been told that all their worth is dependent on their bodies, their beauty- but The Substance truly shows just how much that shit can affect us, shows how much it can hurt your mental health- which will, in turn, affect your physical health!

god, this movie truly was a masterpiece and i highly recommend it to anyone who likes psychological thrillers/horrors & can handle watching body horror! i’m fucking exhausted, and i’ve had such a shitty week- and while this doesn’t exactly give me any hope for our future, it does show that we aren’t alone in our struggles. even the people we admire, whether it’s an actor or a content creator in general, struggle with accepting their flaws and not letting society determine their worth based on such shallow and superficial things.

maybe my ramble is a bit silly and a bit all over the place, so i’m sorry for that, again i’m fucking exhausted— but i had to post abt this

AND I NEED TO POST ABT THE GAME MOUTHWASHING SOON BC THE HYPERFIXATIONS ARE SO REAL!!

But anyways, if anyone read this far, thank you and have a wonderful rest of your day <3

[remembertheplunge]

A TJSK Guide Book

4/12/2017

The following are some notes from my 4/5/2017 TJSK Guide journal. I’m including a phot of it’s cover in the following blog

The homeless encounter defined: soft, incomplete, obscure, slightly chilling, beautiful.

 4/12/2017 7:55pm Starbucks Coffee House

His name was Mike . He was standing on the sidewalk outside Brenda Club Parking lot   He was a 6’4” tall blonde. Blue eyes. He had just the clothes on his back.

I took him to Preservation Coffee downtown.Then, we had Round Table Pizza in front of my house. Mike was very pleasant. He was a bit red faced and out there except when he said that he saw a zebra coming. We were sitting outside Preservation Coffee. I turned, and, sure enough two people on horseback leading a young Zebra!

I told my friend who was a clerk at  a local gym I was a member of about my encounter with Mike. She was not pleased. She said “be careful”. She thinks she has met and talked with Mike before. He’s been on the street for years, estranged from his mother. He’ into drugs, suffers from paranoia and is a thief. But the man she was talking about was in his 40’s. Mike is in his late 20’s to early 30’s.

I gave him a TJSK bag by the parking garage. Later, at the house, I gave him Troy’s back pack and an old tote green suit case. He was delighted.

The gym clerk re: the homeless “They are unstable. You never know when they could snap.” She kind of ruined my helping high. But, despite her “fearingism”, Mike was a kind, nice man who was extremely wary of me. He still is. He insisted on staying at the Salvation Army shelter after I said that he could stay at my house

My money runs low. I promised Mike a ride to Sacramento Friday and clothes buying tomorrow. Better delay. I gave hime $20, the same $20 I would have spent on the movie “Frank” (I saw it for the first time yesterday.) Mike and I “became” the movie.

 So, let it ride.

End of entry

Notes:  9/22/2024

This is the same Mike that I blogged about recently in regard to why the Zebra became the symbol of my homeless encounters.

This entry fleshes out my experience with Mike more fully. Troy was a homeless man who had stayed at my house for 3 days just prior to my meetin Mike.. After I bought Troy  a phone, he blasted out of my car port on his bike never to return. He left all of his possessions behind. So, I gave some of them to Mike. The clerk at the gym provides a good example of the push back I would get from some “housed” people. I like how I called this “fearingism”. Hiding behind their fear, they could not know the healing that comes to you in a homeless encounter.

TJSK was a trader Joe Survival Kit bag. I would put food, socks, and  toiletries in a Trader Joe bag and pass them out to the homeless. 

Brenda Club was a gym that I belonged to. The Clerk in the entry above worked at another gym I was a member of row at the time.

I was low on money much of the time that I was working with the homeless. It left me feeling more connected with them.

I googled the movie “Frank” but can't seem to find it. I have no recollection of what it was about.  But. Truly, my experience with Mike “was” a movie!

[changbinsnmb1simp]

My thoughts on the ZB1 lineup.

Not proof read.

So while I don't HATE it, it's not the greatest. All the boys in lineup besides two are Korean. They dont even have a Japanese member. Keita and Jay were robbed fr but anyways. Here are my thoughts on the members, and just what I have to say about the group.

lets see if yall can tell who I'm probably gonna ult just by reading this lol.

P01 - Zhanghao: Honestly, ever since the 3rd elimination I was rooting for him to take over shanbin's spot just once. I thought it would be funny, iconic, and legendary if he did it. One thing I didn't expect was for it to happen in the finale. HOLY CRAP i was shocked. The first ever non Korean to win 1st place in an Mnet survival show, and one of the only few who in survival shows in general (from what I have seen anyways). He caught my eyes from he start, mainly because of his adorable ears that stick out. he wears them proudly and i love him for that. truly an icon. He doesn't suit Korean beauty standards, he was the nugu center, he had no prior fanbase, and he worked himself up from the bottom to the top. I am SO excited to hear his voice shine be itself in a solo song, and standout amongst the rest of the voices in ZB1 (I was bouta call them bep1er no joke). Charisma Zhanghao!!

P02 - Shanbin: I mean we all new he was debuting. He is the Korean center, hes been popular since day one, he is extreamly loveable, talented, FINE oh my gawsh (go look at the recent photoshoot he did omfg sir) He did a great job maintaining his 1st place spot until the end, and I salute to him forbeing able to hold it. I can already see it. The 5th gen IT boy! Or prince. Idk there are like 3 different titles he could have. He could also be the 5th gen ace or visual. Which one do Y'all think?

P03 - Matthew: I have been rooting for matthew since day one. As soon as i saw there was a Canadian on the show I jumped (as I am also Canadian lol). It was my lifes mission to make sure he debuted. After Haruto (my original 1 pick), I knew I was switching to Matthew and Jay ( I have been supporting Jay since 2019 it only made sense for me to continue so I voted them on seperate devices). Matthew has always just been there to make my day. Just looking at him makes me smile. I am so happy we managed to get him back up higher i the top 9. He was shocked when he heard his name, and so was I. I cried happy tears with his sister lol. I like spammed her in instagram congratulating her. it was an emotional 10 minutes. DESERVED MATTHEW SEOK

P04 - Ricky: I was not expecting to see him sky rocket that high. When I first heard his name I was like "His one pick was that strong!?". I didn't see many people voting for him online other than a small group on a discord server I am on. Don't get me wrong he was in my top 9 but I really didn't expect his fandom to come through at all. I am so proud of him, and so happy he ranked as high as he did. He truly deserved it.

P05 - Gunwook: While I was expecting him to debut, I didn't hink he would ran so high. I was expecting maybe between 7-9th area especially because he has never been above rank 9 before, but his 1 pick came in clutch. I know he has had a solid fanbase since the beginning of the shw, I just thought other people would make it in front of him? I almost cried when I saw he was called. I was like "Holy shit he actually made it!?!?!". Proud mother moment fr.

P06 - Taerae: to say I was shocked. I mean 3 days before he was 11th place!? I was not expecting his 1 pik to sky rocket THAT MUCH. I mean deserved! ZB1's highnote boi!! I love his vocal tone, and though he wasn't in my top 9 he was very close to it. He was like my 10th/11th pick I can't remember anymore, all I know is i am sad none of his other wakeone boys made it in the group with him and i really hope he adapts fast. He isn't as close with a few of the members from what i know but i am sure he will warm up. CONGRATS TAERAEEEE.

P07 - Gyuvin: Tbh, he didn't catch my eyes. I didn't hate him, I actually thought he was really cute and funny, I just though other people were a bit better than him. That was a while ago though. Over the past 3 weeks, Gyuvin grew on me a lot. While he may not be the most rounded, he is def talented and def deserved a spot in ZB1! I am very proud of him, and I as quite shocked considering he has dropped to 16th before. I didn't have much hope in his 1 pick, but I was pleasently surprised. SLAY GYUVIN!!!!!

P08 - Jiwoong: I knew he was going to debut, I just didn't know at what rank. He has always been one of my picks, ever since i first saw he was going to be on boys planet. I have watched his past dramas, and heard much good stuff about him. I am vry happy a BL actor has made it in the group, just because it can open so many oppertunities for zb1 in the western audience and really just any audience, jiwoong will also soon be staring in a new drama I believe so look out for them! I really cherish Jiwoong. I think he is very talented. The groups hidden all rounder if you would. I can see him or ZHanghao being an amazing leader, but I thik I would perfer Jiwoong be leader.

P09 - Yujin: Just like Gyuvin, he was kinda just there for me throughout the show, but I am sure as he gets more screen time and we get to see the real him, he will grow on me more. I have never at any point ever hated any of the trainees. they are all sweet to me in their own ways, and some more than others. I am very proud of Yujin, and in my op he isn't too young to debut. I could argue that here for hours but I would rather just leave it at this and if you are curious to as why I think that just ask me in the comments. Also, seeing Yujin and Jiwoong harmonize the other day...man... that kid has a voice, hes just a teenager lol, so ofc his voice is gonna crack and change and sound weird at times. I think he deserved this spot a lot tbh, he is a great maknae for the group!

SO overall, I do really like this lineup. I am def going to be ulting this group, I know that for sure. 6/9 of my picks made it (Matthew, SHanbin, Zhanghao, Jiwoong, Gunwook, ricky)

extra; positions I think will be given toeach member.

Zhanghao - Leader, lead vocal, center

Shanbin - FOTG, main vocal, main dancer

Matthew - vocalist, sub rapper,

Ricky - Sub vocal, rapper, main dancer

Gunwook - Main rapper, vocalist

Taerae - main vocal, prince of the group (i made that up but eh)

Gyuvin - lead dancer, lead rapper, visual

Jiwoong - leader 2, rapper, sub vocal

Yujin - Maknae, rapper, main dancer

keep in mind though, since this is 5th gen, they may just discard the whole "position" thing and have them all do a bit of everything considering they all have very unique voices (especially Hao, Taerae, and Jiwoong. Somewhat shanbin) but if we are following your usual 4th gen 9 member group structure, i think these would be the positions.

now... line distribution... well.

Most to least:

Shanbin 30+ seconds

Taerae (he will have a lot of adlibs) 17-20 secs of acual lines +10 for adlibs

Zhanghao 24-27 seconds

Gunwook 20-23 seconds

Matthew/Jiwoong (back and fourth it depends) 15-17 seconds

Gyuvin/Yujin (same with Jiwoong and Matthew) 14-16 seconds

Ricky (I just have that really good feeling hes the Xiaotng of the group) anywhere between 8-17 seconds (hes's mostly last cuz he will vary)

[weclassybouquetfun]

THE FLASH has arrived after being a tad delayed.

But what's 5 years and 3 months amongst friends.

Congrats to Andrés "Andy" Muschietti

for getting this film across the finishing line. A s though there's reportedly a sequel script in play and Muschietti said that he would dream of replacing Ezra Miller in a subsequent film his assurance may be moot as THE FLASH signals the end of the DCEU while BLUE BEETLE will usher in the DC Universe under James Gunn.

But good news for Muschietti; he had been tapped to direct BATMAN: THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD.

No, not this cartoon beauty

The live-action adaptation of the Grant Morrison run.

For me, THE FLASH is the perfect swan song for the DCEU. Go out in style, Barry!

SPOILERS FOR THE FLASH (despite everyone and their grandmas posting spoilers all across social media to either trash the F/X or to spite an Ezra Miller fronted project). Yes, I have made hating spoilers a large part of my personality.

THE GOOD

-Ezra Miller was a delight. I loved the dual iterations of Barry. As current day Bruce says their scars (maybe he said traumas) are what made them. Of course a Barry who was raised by his parents ends up with a different personality than a Barry who was scarred by his mother's murder and father's incarceration. He had to grow up fast yet remained socially stunted as he was consumed with getting justice for his father. I think it would get tiresome real quick if the film were just quirky/awkward Barry. We got grounded Barry and that other side.

-It was a nice touch when he does the messaging to the nurse that she should seek professional help after such a jarring event but the JL themselves haven't figured that out for themselves yet.

-I don't believe I have ever read a Flash standalone so maybe all of these themes were covered in his issues but there were certainly strains of Booster Gold Vol. 2 and Flashpoint in this. Alt!Barry repeatedly turning back time to try to save Supergirl and Batman and failing was exactly like Booster Gold trying to save Barbara Gordon from being shot and paralyzed by the Joker. Each time she would still get shot and Booster himself would be pulverized by the Joker Gang until Rip Hunter stopped him and let him know that event was a fixed point that couldn't be changed. It had to happen.

And Flashpoint where Barry wakes up to a new universe and tries to get back to the standard timeline but instead ends up and remains in a new universe similar but different from his own.

Which leads to -

-Batmans!!! I still don't know what makes a good Batman, but I do know what makes a good Bruce Wayne and Val Kilmer and Ben Affleck is that for me so I delighted in seeing him again. So fantastic that all these years later Michael Keaton gets his swan song.

As Barry tells Bruce things change across multiverses but there are constants such as Bruce having a Alfred as it is fated. But there is also, seemingly, the constant that Bruce is defined by being Batman. In THE DARK KNIGHT RISES he doesn't return to Bruce Wayne but instead ducks out of society until Gotham is truly threatened and only bows out when he is assured that Gotham is in good hands. In THE FLASH Bruce cleans up Gotham and retreats to a hermetic existence until Barry coaxes him out. He dies happily in battle as Batman, a better death than just dying as the pedestrian Bruce Wayne.

And as I love reaching back to the past and closing circles seeing George Clooney as Bruce was amazing.

Talk about reaching back-

-I LOVED THE REIMAGING OF CHRISTOPHER REEVES' SUPERMAN! I bow down to poorly rendered CGI G.O.A.T Superman.

This is the man who said, "I think I was the right actor for the part at the time I played it, but I think the role is larger than any particular actor and should be reinterpreted from generation to generation."

How fitting that so many reinterpretations were presented, including the payoff of the Eric Stoltz BACK TO THE FUTURE jokes.

Just as Stoltz was the Marty McFly that never really was, we got Nic Cage's near Superman reference!!

He exists in the multiverse!

and yeah, we saw other Flashes but who cares when there is Supermen...and Helen Slater's Supergirl!

Another trip through the multiverse was done courtesy of TITANS where Gar

-The humour wasn't overkill. Loved how they did the slow reveal of Bruce being tied to the Lasso of Truth. It seemed OOC for him to be bashful around Diana but I went with it, but no need; he was just lassoed. I hope people caught him chastising himself for not donating his wealth to help the poor.

-Loved Sasha Calle's Kara. Would have loved to see more of her.

-Barry's stakes only work if the audience cares and how much did I love Maribel Verdú as Nora Allen. It would not have worked if we couldn't feel the depth of Barry's loss. Verdú was so loving and vibrant that my heart ached that Barry couldn't save her.

Verdú, Temeura Morrison (who appears), Jesse L. Martin of TV's THE FLASH and these hotties are the best parents in the DCEU.

-Nice seeing Muschietti's pal and MAMA lead Nikolaj Coster-Waldau play a rando who has his pizza snagged by Barry and Muschietti himself playing a man who gets his hot dog snatched by Barry.

-Speaking of dogs that end credits with the therapy dog in free fall was a perfect clincher to the prior mad scene with the babies in the forefront. And for those bashing the egregiously fake babies in that scene I think it would have created anxiety for plenty of people if they CGI'd actual babies. The comedic element of such lunacy works because they're so fake looking.

THE BAD

-Kiersey Clemons getting short-shrift.

If there isn't a sequel it's very disappointing how little she has to do. I would have loved to see their friendship flourish.

Also, does this film retcon the deleted scene which was reinstated in the Snyder cut of JUSTICE LEAGUE?

Seemingly, no as she says she feels like she has seen Barry lately and he cagily denies it, but it's not as if Iris had a head injury or was knocked out during that scene. How can you not remember someone saving your life? Unless the implication is that Barry was moving so fast that she only got a glimpse of him, which...doubtful.

-Which brings me to my second issue..

THE REST

-The issue with the Flash as a standalone is that is really serves to showcase Batman and to a lesser extent Supergirl. They Captain America: Civil War'red the film!

But maybe that's just because as a character Barry isn't that compelling. His #1 enemy is just a reverse of himself. Barry is a hero but also an unwitting agent of chaos as his defining trait is not the speed force but upending the universe in a quest to save his mother,

so maybe there isn't enough meat on the bone so to speak character-wise to delve deeper but if they could do it with Aquaman then Barry deserved a deeper exploration.

-I don't think we needed the angle that Barry was at the scene of Zod's attack and he has kicks himself over not being able to save the kid's dad. He has enough of a complex.

-This could very well be because I have an unreasonable dislike of Ron Livingston but what a downgrade from Billy Crudup (who was too busy with AppleTV+'s THE MORNING SHOW to return).

Crudup's scenes in JL were infinitely more effective than anything Livingston eked out in this.

Just as Crudup had a minor role in JUSTICE LEAGUE, but made a big impression, Luke Brandon Field appeared in one ep of AMC+'s wonderful INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE but I clocked him immediately in his small role as a criminal Bruce takes down.

[ncytiri]

10 characters tag!

10 favorite characters from 10 different fandoms, tagged by @p-paradoxa, thank u gav!!!

finn (star wars) - i mean what more can i say about finn that hasn't already been said. truly one of my favorite characters ever, even with all the wasted potential he had, john's performance was just so great to watch and really made finn THE shining star of the sequel trilogy

neytiri (avatar) - my @'s namesake, a defining character in my bisexual awakening, mother to MANY! i absolutely adore neytiri and all of the parts that make her such a beautiful, broken, hopeful character <3

samwise gamgee (lotr) - i can't think about sam without wanting to cry. i see so much of myself in him but also he is the ideal friend!! loyal to no end, kindhearted, strong, samwise is just so beloved to me

essun (the broken earth trilogy) - it's been a while since i read the trilogy but i remember essun being such a wonderfully written but depressing character, from her childhood to her as an adult and so on. she has stuck with me ever since i finished that series a few years ago and i think about her so often 😭

gordo stevens (for all mankind) - MALEWIFE EXTRAORDINAIRE! i mean. yes he wasn't faithful in the 60s but my god was that man in love with tracy... gordo is such a funny guy but everything about him is SO sad... s2 gordo especially, the time skip showing how life has treated him but how he would still go to any lengths to get tracy back :(

jonas kahnwald (dark) - JONAS :(((((((((

shiv roy (succession) - always having to work 100x harder than all the men around her and STILL getting mocked and othered by them just to get ahead of her... shiv roy (and sarah snook) you will always be famous!!

hinata shoyo (haikyuu!!) - my sweet lil volleyball loving angel... he means the world to me...

kirsten raymonde (station eleven) - i need to rewatch to refresh why i love kirsten but something abt her always being so hopeful and trusting but also wary of ppl but full of love for theater as that is the one thing keeping her connected to her old life and jeevan and frank 😭 also her style is so cute and quirky i love it sm

river ward (cyberpunk 2077) - i could rant and rant abt the hate river gets but that is not the point of this tag game lol. for as little as we get of river in the whole game, he became a highlight for me during my first playthrough and i rly loved how complicated of a character he was <3 plus robbie daymond being his VA was another bonus 🤭

i gotta tag 10 other people but i feel like i have tagged too many ppl recently and i dont wanna be annoying so if you see this and also wanna do it, tag me!! <3

[morbiddruid]

Androgyny

Scrolling through Tumblr, came across a post from an individual about androgyny. So naturally, I have thoughts concerning the concept.

Is Androgyny different than Non-Binary?

Let me preface this by saying: Growing up in the 90's and 2000's and writing fanfiction has taught me a lot of things about myself.

I was a little girl then. I always wanted to be a boy. Their toys were cooler, there were better TV shows, and in literature... boys were so much more powerful.

So I started writing from the perspective of the maleness in my heart. He was angry, forceful, beautiful and terrifying.

I started role playing him online. My mother told me at 14 years of age, "the internet and people there are not to be trusted. Do not tell them your name, your age, and above all do not tell them you are a girl." So I didnt. I lied. My name was Nyckolai. I was 17. I lived in an undetermined place in the United States (usually Alaska). I kept this charade for many years, acquiring friends and several lovers. I made stories with them in private chat rooms, and personal messages.

Soon people wanted pictures of me/ of him. So I did what any self-respecting liar would do, and continued to lie. I learned how to dress myself in my real-life boyfriend's clothes. How to pose myself in a way to hide the femaleness of my body. I learned how to bind my breasts, sit or stand as if there was a thing between my legs, and for the most part, it worked! I never showed my face. They wanted to see, and I told them no, that it would ruin their perceptions. They accepted that. My friends and lovers continued to accept me for who I was presenting to them.

At one point, I thought I could make the transition easier on myself and claim that I was bisexual (I still am). The girls were esctatic, and proud of me for coming out! They 'knew there was something different' about me. They cited that I was kind, and caring, and there was a gentleness that straight men did not possess. They boys... they became distant (except for one, who had fallen for me, and realized that he too was at least bi, I hope he is well <3 ). They tried not to treat me any differently. But I could feel the hatred rolling off on them through the texts. I told them that I wasnt interested in trying to flirt with them, that I had a boyfriend and I was satisfied. It seemed to help at the time. Yet our relationships had inevitably changed.

And finally one day I told my closest friends that I wasnt at all who I had lead them to believe. The reactions were varied. The boys nodded their head in some sort of understanding, and the girls were in shock. I was calling into question their own sexual identity. But I did my best to assure them that I was still a real person, and I cared about them; that their fantasies of male-me proved their sexual identity. I was just a girl trying to be brave. But I had hurt them.

What does all this have to do with Androgyny/ Non-binary/ Agender?

When I remember these things in my life, I do not see a separation of existence. There was no Boy-me, or Girl-me. I was always me. Maleness allowed me to express myself without fear. Femaleness allowed me to love.

But the reality is, I was experiencing gender-fluidity. We didnt have the massive LGBT community that exists now. I didnt know what to call myself. I was a bi-sexual cross-dresser. And a liar.

In the end, I wished to neither be perceived as male-ness, or female-ness, but something in between, the joining of the two. An unquantifiable being who is whole. I learned that it was easiest to express myself and be whole as a male-ness that I was physically not, especially since female-ness was always in danger from male-ness.

Why must I choose between one physical form or starkly another? Well, the answer is, that one does not have to choose. One can wear clothes, and learn to carry themselves in such a way, as to show on the outside, exactly as they feel on the inside. But no one can ever truly know what is in another's heart or soul.

Maybe my journey is too simple. It proves that any human can be cruel and hurtful. Any human can be kind and understanding. Your gender identity does not change your personality. But it can help one become comfortable, any maybe it will ease some pain.

[flyingcookierambles]

Good news!

Last night I finished endwalker on my birthday, it only took playing from midnight to 4 am lol

Bad news I forgot to log into genshin and I didn't get my birthday cake :/

Lmao

Anyways I love zenos k onwards to the endwalker patch msq and dawntrail yay yippeee!!!

Nov 17th edit: some 7.0 screenshots of my WoL, Cyril, with the great glow up graphic update. au ra enjoyers, elezen enjoyers, we WON!!! YIPEEEEEEEE!!!

also a small comparison of no reshade and reshade also. my color saturation is turned up and the bloom is a bit warm, i love the color. he looks so soft. like, sorry, but even with the wonderful 7.0 looks, the base game is so washed out still. like, maybe i'm used to the photo-realistic and saturated landscape of for example, horizon zero dawn, god of war 2018, also more anime/cartoon-y saturated colorful landscapes of genshin, but ffxiv base game is so faded out to me.

also, although im still a bit miffed at myself for taking literally two years and 6 months to finish endwalker, enough time for the latest expac to come out, at the same time, i'm glad i waited for the 7.0 graphics. ultima thule is amazing! the skybox is amazing! also, the elezen glow up helped the scions a lot, urianger and g'raha look so soft and cute. the twins also have cute cheeks that i want to pinch lol. truly the wol's little brother and sister lol. the elf/elezen ears textsures and the light also going thru the skin a bit helped soften them. just. 7.0 was so good lol.

i will say though, idk what it is about my bloom and keepUI settings. like, maybe i just haven't really set up keepUI/mask UI reshade filters very well, but sometimes in night scenes, also ugh most of the ultima thule area except the omnicron area, the brightness of the dialogue box in cutscenes will make the rest of the screen kinda darken to compensate the bloom effect or soemthing. a bit frustrating tbh.

but anyways beautiful 7.0 crystal mother above!!!! i loved her. QAQ......

the bloom and 7.0 eye updates really helped her eyes pop out and glow.

oh, also i kinda wanna steal pint's reshade settings. i think his settings is technically public, but you have to join his discord?

but also, now that i've caught up, i can see some streamer's reactions and VODs to the end of endwalker. since many of them didn't delay like i did, i see the old graphics and i'm like. oh god. OH GOD, THEY LOOKED LIKE THAT????? (weird default shaders, angular elezen, etc., lol) crazy how you can just get used to the new stuff in such a short amount of time, seeing the stuff i was used to for like 2-3 years, it's really like that dang bitch you live like this meme. lol

oh yeah, here's a screenshot from july when dawntrail first released. truly the fate farming craze!!! incredible.

also, me, two of my friends, and one friend's younger sister all partied together to complete the coils of bahamat. we unsynced to carry my friend who is still in ARR/level 50-60 ranges. like literally just zooming thru the combat as 3 lvl 90 players and our baby level 50 friend to get to the dialogue and cutscenes lol.

oh yeah rip huiton. BUT ALSO THE ULTIMA THULE SKYBOX AND STARS OOOOOOOGH THAT IS BEAUTIFUL!!!

also, nastrond. also spineshatter dive. also eye of the dragon buddy system. just. oof. i know i' not a very high level dragoon, i think only mid 70, so i didn't even get to all the fun full rotation level 80-90 stuff, but god dang. bruh moment. sorry for your loss, other dragoon mains and enjoyers.

(note, i am an healer main, astro enjoyer, and i also loved plunge for dark knight. i get it uuuuuu QAQ....)

also! bloom vs no bloom.

OK, NGL, THIS WAS A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL, RIGHT ISHIKAWA???????? YOU LOVE YOUR CATBOY SON OC. YOU MAKE US LOVE YOUR CATBOY SON OC. I GET IT, HE'S THE SPECIALEST BOY EVER. UGHREAUGHEOGAHOUH. I LITERALLY WAS WATCHING THIS PART OF THE CUTSCENE A BIG DOPEY GRIN ON MY FACE, SQUEALING UNCONTROLLABLY. AND LIKE ALL THE STREAMERS I WATCHED VODS OF ALSO WERE JUST LIKE AWWWW. G'RAHA.... :D

oh also some gpose with the kiddos during Forge Ahead companion MSQ walking up the path Raha made for us. also ngl, it was so so funny to me whenever i got "this NPC is now following you" quests lol. like, SE was really like. LOOK! LOOK AT OUR LATEST ESCORT QUEST TECHNOLOGY! lol

so my reaper was lvl 89, not enough for the final lvl 90 msq lol. so, as i always planned anyways, i switched to white mage for the final msq. like, my first class and job were conjurer/white mage, so it only felt appropriate to end with that job.

So, i'll be honest also. i knew some plot points of endwalker. on social media and such, it's kinda inevitable to see spoilers, especially when everyone is literally 2 years ahead of you. however, i did not know the full context or the order in which some snippets and events would happen. also, the only two things i really kept for myself was listening to flow and close in the distance. like, i succeeded in skipping them or tabbing out and stuff whenever i heard the first few notes. so, hearing both for the first time was great. close in the distance playing in the background and slowly revealing itself and more instruments as the msq and scions' sacrifices went on was beautiful. using the instrumental for the dead ends dungeon was good too. i also loved seeing the alien worlds in the dead ends. of course, im sure that it may lose its magic when i have to play it like a thousand times to get my starbird minion.

also ZENOS MY ENEMY, MY FRIEND!!! :D

so also if you got me at 3am in jenova/ EST time, i am so so sorry lmao. i died like 6 times to the stupid planet throwing and somehow got 1 commendation. i'm sure it was a pity commendation lmao. QAQ i've never been so embarrassed in my life i stg!!!

OOPS ONLY 30 IMAGES ALLOWED PER POST LMAO OK, PART 2 INCOMING. THERE'S ONLY A TINY BIT OF MSQ LEFT BUT I KINDA HAD A GPOSE PHOTOSHOOT WITH MY BESTIE/WORSTIE/HUSBAND ZENOS AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE BEFORE WE BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER LOL

[marylandlifecoaching]

I Get It

There is a great line from an old movie, where a young man said to an older gentleman, “How’s life?” The older man replies, “Taking forever.” I love that line. And the older I get, the more it resonates with me. So, let’s get into it.

I’ve got some years on me. In fact, more years behind than ahead. It’s cool. But as I look back at my life, I realize just how blessed I am. And the reason why I am blessed is, because I have always surrounded myself with people much older than me. I don’t recall it being a conscious decision. But I did it none the less anyway. I mean, most of my friends were older than me. And not just by a couple of years. But 10 to 20 to be exact. I routinely dated women much older than me as well. Hey, you vibe with who you vibe with.

As you get older, you start to realize a few things. I am still relatively young. But my life has tracked at a rate faster than most people my age. Just in the past 4 years alone, I’ve lost my daughter, brother, father, my 2 aunts and a couple of friends. Fuck bad things happen in 3’s. Life took a big swing at me. Yet here I am, still giving thanks. Still…

Having spent 39 years working in mental health, I’ve learned to read people. When I think of that line, “Taking forever”, I get it. When the years haven’t been kind and most of them are behind you, the thought of death no longer scares you. In fact, many welcome it. And why wouldn’t they? Most of their friends and family are gone. Their bodies are riddled with pain. People discount you on a daily basis. I’m only 59 and it happens to me all the time. Oh yeah, ageism is alive and well. So I get it.

So maybe try and suspend your judgement. Despite all the pain, all the problems and all the horrific things that I have endured, I am the most optimistic person you would meet. But many have already checked out. They’re already dead, but the body remains. Cut them some slack or simply shut the fuck up. Because I am in the gym 365 days a year at 4:30 in the morning, I can still probably out work, out hustle and outlast most people half my age. But the beauty of getting older is, I prove nothing to no one.

With my sense of humor intact, I admit there are some really funny things about getting older. I don’t mind the jabs. Lord knows, I jabbed my friends too. I laughed at them because they were different. They laughed at me because I was the same. Checkmate mother fucker. And at the end of the game, they truly won. They looked different, talked with a depth, and were thankful for every little thing. We could all take a page from that play book. And if we did, I promise you life would be more beautiful, more meaningful and more loving than you could ever imagine.

I know, I know. You don’t get it. But if you’re blessed with enough time…you will.