#mother 3’s ending is truly beautiful to me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yojeongin · 19 days ago

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It’s my desire to give myself to you | p.js

→childhood friend!jisung x f!reader

genre: smut, romance, 80s au, childhood friends au, lost communication, open ended

synopsis: being the youngest in all friend groups has always proven to be beneficial for jisung but he’s no longer that little boy you met years ago. so why won’t you look at him for what he truly is: a man. he’ll have to prove it to you then.

warning(s): ADULTS ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! obsessive and whiney jisung, oral (f receiving), pussy drunk jisung, vaginal fingering, implied age gap although it’s not significant, public indecency, unprotected sex, bratty jisung, praise kink, bulge kink, begging, creampie, virginity loss (virgin jisung), alcohol consumption, infantilization mentions, overbearing mother.

wc: 11.6k+ || soundtrack || ao3

an: happy end of the year fic, I’d consider this an accomplishment (writing 3 fics in one year lol)

Summers began to be the best thing for Jisung starting at the age of nine. He might have gone to summer camp reluctantly at first, not wanting to join his older brother. He had enough of seeing him all the time at school and home so why did his parents think it was fine to take away his precious summers of pretending to be an only child? It was a rough start, that’s for sure; but being taken under the wing of older kids served to be more fun.

Up until the age of sixteen he lived in bliss waiting for the day summer break to begin and be back where he felt free from the watchful eyes of his parents, only seeing them twice a month for visitations. As for his brother? He had his own life to run and the two barely bumped into each other which was a blessing in disguise for him. His bags were always packed weeks prior to the departing date and when his mother started to ask if he truly wanted to go –for she has been missing him terribly due to their increasing mommy-son dates– Jisung didn’t hesitate on turning her down. Summer camp is all he looked forward to, the only thing he put effort into school for.

Nowadays the only yearly highlight comes in Winter for the holidays in the form of season greetings cards. He’s learnt to conform. “You get what you get and you don’t complain.” Is what he told himself often and that’s all the fight he has left in him the faster the years pass by.

“No mail for me?” Jisung asks with that same pleading whine laced onto his voice upon entering his parent’s home. Leaning down to kiss his mother’s cheek while she shuffles through the mail. She hums, elongating her words while flipping through the envelopes of bills and season greetings. Hoping her hesitance would cement the feeling of disappointment onto her son once more. “Well, it doesn't seem so… Oh! No. Here you go.” His mom utters with a slight smile, cruel as it is. “Took them longer to send this year. Thought the Y/l/n girl was going to fully desert you this year.” She quips balefully. Jisung gives her a quick glance before looking at the picture.

This is the most he sees and hears from you nowadays and it has become unsatisfactory. He wonders where things went wrong more often than he wants to. When he wakes up he thinks about it. When he brushes his teeth and showers he thinks about it. He’s burnt his hand thinking about why your letters minimize little by little every year and it so happens to be that this year he only received a happy birthday letter leaving him in the dark for the following ten months until today. If you can call it that, all the card says is: “May the beauty of the Holidays bless your home with happiness.” Signed off in golden glitter: The Y/l/n Family. No hand written note on your part, no acknowledgement at all. He’s sure your mother only sent it as his address hasn’t been erased from their address book. Otherwise, he’s not sure if his –hopefully– mother-in-law knows or remembers who he is.

“She’s been busy.” Jisung defends in a murmur, turning on his heel to walk upstairs to his room. “She told you that?” His mother yells back sardonically once he turns the corner. He ignores her but the glimmer of her pearly whites blind him through his peripheral view. A reminder that he can try to ignore reality but his mother will always be there to remind him. She wouldn’t understand it. She won’t understand when all she sees is that little nine year old coming back from camp excitedly telling her about the friends he made and the pretty girl he wouldn’t stop talking about.

Or the ten year old that was so ecstatic to come back and ask her for her pretty paper to write a letter to that same pretty girl that finally hugged him and gave him her address to write letters to. She took his too and put it in her ‘important things’ box. Jisung saw you do it.

But Jisung is twenty-two now and lives off of the crumbs he gets to devour whenever he rereads every single letter you’ve sent him. His favorite ones are the birthday letters when you send him pictures of yourself with cakes you’ve baked for him even if he couldn’t eat them. He’s content knowing you cared for him that much. He clings to hope more when this year the cake looked even prettier but not as pretty as you in the multiple pictures sent.

He doesn’t entirely care if you only sent one this year or that you did not reply to his own birthday letter for you. He’s glad that you still cared enough to bake him his cake and let him see how much prettier you’ve gotten. One of those pictures is in his wallet at the moment.

It’s insane, no? To fall so head over heels for someone that has never been his. Jisung has known you for over ten years but nothing has progressed past embraces, friendly hand holding, and constant cheek pinches because you found him awfully cute. He still feels your touches linger despite lastly seeing you in person at sixteen.

Longing is the word he’s looking for. Longing and yearning is all he’s done since that last time he saw you and it becomes worse through the years with little to no communication. He wonders if you’re truly that busy to not spare him a few minutes to write back. Or if you’ve found someone that has prohibited you from contacting him further.

He foolishly expected a letter for his college graduation the way you sent him one for his high school graduation but it never came. He’s kept in contact with his other summer camp friends but they’re no good with information regarding you. Most but one left in the dark about your whereabouts. The last he heard from Jaemin, you had gotten a job and as vague as it is, that’s all he told Jisung.

Useless but also valuable. He envies Jaemin sometimes. He was the only one able to get far more closer to you and he doesn’t fully know how to feel about it. While you spent treating Jisung like a child, like a younger brother, things were always complicated between you and Jaemin. Vague as he is, to be specific.

All he can do now is lay on his bed with a cassette he bought precisely because you recommended it. He doesn’t like it but he does like you so he will endure. Endure like he’s done with anything regarding his yearning for you.

With your deliciously perfumed letters, fountain ink stains all over the pages, and images of you scattered across his bed with the music full blast on his walkman— Jisung revels in the pleasure of your indirect touch. Your fingerprints embedded on the paper and their oils seeping into his own skin the way they did years ago with every single one of your touches. He wished those touches were far more than playful and cuteness aggression. That the times your fingers lingered were because you wanted him as near as he wanted you. But once again, he will conform.

Conform, conform, conform.

In his state, Jisung doesn’t hear his mother’s covert steps when he twirls on the bed with images of you laying on his face. And he surely doesn’t hear her when she cracks the door open to spot his hands lingering on his thighs, memories of the time Hyuck and Chenle snuck alcohol on the grounds and all of you had a ball with it. He remembers your hands vividly on his short-clad thighs, giving them gentle squeezes as you chewed his ear off. He remembers the names Ralph Machio and James Spader spewing from your lips here and there. He wanted to shut them up with his, consumed by jealousy but also wonder how they’d feel against his.

Of course he didn’t, the alcohol made things seem funnier than they were and he wouldn’t overstep. Not when he knew his role in the group was to be cute and be taken care of. That’s how you liked him most, he noticed.

And when he twists again to fight off the temptation of letting his fingers crawl to the hem of his pants, a face he’s known all his life is looking at him directly. Startling more when frustrated. “Park Jisung!” leaves her lips, sending his body into a shocking jolt and his walkman flying across the room. His body crushed the photographs he was admiring, much to her delight.

“Mom!” Jisung whines, holding onto his dangerously fast palpating heart. He huffs and pants, attempting to relax himself before dropping another word. “What?” He aims to say calmly but she’s far from that. Her hands on her hips and a stern look around his bed transmits her disappointment, disgust, and anger.

“I read your grandmother’s letter and it turns out she will be spending the remainder of the month with us after all.” Silent scoff, as if this was the most absurd thing. “Take a run to the mall and get her a gift. I didn’t count on her even contacting us.” Well, that explains her foul mood. It’s made worse when all he musters is a nod but doesn’t make an effort to stand up. God, how she would love to pull him by those raven locks or his ear. Whatever gets the message through.

“Well hurry!” That’s all she can muster.

So Jisung does, collecting everything he can and shoving it into a locked box while his mom turns to walk out the door. Embarrassed is all he feels besides shaken up from the scare he gained.

“Don’t forget your gloves and scarf. Don’t want you to catch another cold.” She mutters while mixing whatever she was cooking. It smelled fine but he knew her food became dangerous when cooking upset. It had a life of its own. He hums as a reply, wanting to leave it at that. “Jisung.” She calls again, calmly this time, turning halfway to look at him.

“Forgetting something?”

He shakes his head, bundled up under all warm clothing.

“Sure?”

He nods and she huffs, walking towards him. She kisses his cheeks and the tip of his nose, cupping his face. That reminds him, manifested in a sigh and a smile that he leans down to kiss his mother’s cheek.

“Bye.”

His bid farewell always leaves him upset. He’s twenty-two, why does she still treat him like he was three? Just yesterday his brother couldn’t stop pinching his cheek after buying him a crepe. Continuing to compare him to a cute little hamster despite Jisung having surpassed him in height.

Three weeks ago when he met with Jaemin to talk about you, the words ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’ would not stop spewing from his lips the way bile does. With the exception that Jaemin welcomed these in comparison. Mark, similarly enough, always clutches his face with restraint from crushing his skull and then engulfs him with a bone crushing hug that leaves him aching for minutes to pass.

He thinks Jeno is the only one with sense that treats him his age, yet he’s caught him other times babying him at the arcade. Especially when a stranger playing against Jisung wants to get quippy and there he becomes that eleven year old that Jeno and Hyuck had to defend from some idiots that had just watched Star Wars and felt inclined to the dark side.

Jisung decided to take the car, it was getting colder and he felt the remnants of snowflakes begin to fall even if they could only be seen under a microscope but he was sure of it. He contemplated walking in hopes of ailing himself to disturb his mother’s sanity but proved futile knowing she’d hover over him 24/7 until betterment. Therefore, his sanity would be the one disturbed.

For such a busy season, the streets looked empty and the mall itself wasn’t entirely full besides the movie theatre parking lot. Their billboard lights blinding him the longer he stares to see which movie seemed fun. He should at least get some enjoyment out of this. He can decide later. RIght now he has to pick up something he thinks a geriatric angry woman would like.

Let’s see… She likes disgustingly small yappy dogs like chihuahuas— as angry as her. She likes cats as sick as her… some yarn and new patterns should be a good gift. She doesn’t like those.

Decidedly, Jisung will take a stroll towards the end of the mall. Taking his sweet time to enjoy the scenery of the water fountain. He truly does like the mosaic. The flamingo pink tiles crawl up into a gradient of green tiles that surround the mouth where water spurts out. In better times, it shines under the sun. Right now, not so much.

He doesn’t leave before throwing in five pennies. Five for his birthday and five for safe measure that his wishes are secured. He always wishes for the same two things. Three to hear from you and two to beat Jeno’s centipede high score.

Jisung smiles and nods to himself, walking past the fountain, some water spraying on him. He doesn’t mind, he’ll take it as a sign that one of the two is to be granted soon.

Halfway through a cinnamon sugar pretzel after nearly choking from its dryness, Jisung decides to touch his heart and not gift his grandmother something she doesn’t like despite her being such a vile woman. Instead he should give her something that she won’t ever be able to lift and only admire which leads him to Sur la Table on the east wing of the mall. He grumbles and huffs annoyedly at the walk but he knows it’ll be worth it. Hell, maybe he’ll steal it for himself when she goes senile.

The only thing that he appreciates about this wing is the warm yellow lights from French and Italian wannabe restaurants that aim to attract hungry consumers and cooks. He enjoys the set up at Sur la Table, mainly because he gets to play with their faux kitchen setups and the shock on people’s faces when they overpay for these cookware items. Fooled into consumption from their fabricated experience.

He plays with some of the display pots and pans, twisting knobs and reading tags to see how pretentious he’ll feel after learning about Swedish enamel. He doesn’t know how much that matters —if it's a cash grab— but it sounds fancy. Before him, he prepares some plates. A nice hearty bowl of Caldo de Gallego. Jisung doesn’t know nor understands what it is but he remembers hearing it while flipping through the channels when his father got cable. A monumental moment for him.

“No dessert?”

And just like when his mother scared him shitless back in the privacy of his own room. A familiar voice snapped him out of his public exposition daze.

He goes through the same motions he went through back home. Clutching his harshly palpitating heart, panting and huffing to regain his composure, and feeling embarrassment. If he went through this once more today, he’ll definitely faint for good.

It’s far more embarrassing this time around. He took advantage that the store was nearly empty and no one came to this side of the store but he was proven wrong. Worse yet, the person that scared him was waiting for an answer.

Jisung still feels and hears his heart blaring in his ears but he tries to act cool. Only to fail when his knees buck once he registers the face that’s been accompanying him for the past ten months in his wallet. Albeit something was different. The length and color of your hair that’s for sure.

“Don’t be a stranger, come on.” Your voice is as sweet as he recalls.

Fuck, how he missed it…

Your arms extend to him, pleading for his embrace. Jisung doesn’t hesitate to give you what you want— as always. Swaddling you with his long limbs and making sure you can’t let go until he is done savoring this moment. He’s truly craved this for as long as he can remember.

A soft giggle works to ease his grip, letting you go with a nervous chuckle of his own. “Sorry.” He speaks, shyly covering his mouth with a sleeve covered hand. The apology not only yours to receive but himself as well for reacting like the little boy he was when you met; for the miniscule regression. He takes in your light head shake but tender smile. It’s a different scene from when he last saw you. There’s an obvious distance that he does not like.

“How have you been? You’ve grown so much!” Instinctively, your hands reach for his face, cradling it while attempting to restrain yourself from pinching his cheeks. You’ve already overstepped by touching him. Instead you give him an awkward giggle and the following words. “What happened to my little Jisungie? You’re even taller than last time.” Jisung can sense your desire to grab him and handle him like you used to but for some reason you’re holding back.

‘Please, please don’t deny me this. Touch me, hug me, pinch me… Just please touch me…’ Jisung wants to blurt out. He’s been starving for years and he finally has you before him, so why won’t you feed him? Don’t be so gluttonous, please…

Jisung won’t voice any of it, he opts to nod with that same gummy smile that you love. “Growth spurt, stuff like that.” He attempts to sound nonchalant but he’s so giddy that he can’t contain himself. You read him like a book.

“So, uh… What are you doing here? I never thought I’d see you in my town.” He questions, scratching his head. You’ve always been a good eight hours away from him, meeting him halfway for camp. Six if you count Chenle’s birthday party in ‘81 in which his parents paid for everyone’s transportation.

Your hesitance doesn’t go unnoticed by him but he wont prod. He’s content with having you near, he thinks so. He’ll be sure to start throwing quarters into the fountain for granting him this wish at least.

“Work actually,” You hum, body swaying while you nod. “Oh, right! Jaemin mentioned you got a job, congrats!” He celebrated with genuine happiness but the inkling of curiosity never left him.

‘Please talk to me. Please say more, I crave your voice. Please, I’m too malnourished, can’t you see?

“Did he?”

“That was about it. You know how vague he can be.”

You hum and nod again. This awkward cycle frustrating and hurting him.

Jisung has not spent the past six years missing you for this encounter to be short lived. He’s aware six years was a long time ago and he’s definitely lost contact with other friends but they’ve never mattered the way you do and there’s no way he’s going to waste this opportunity.

“Hey, why don’t we catch up, yeah?” He clutches his arm, swinging a bit and lips puckering before pressing them tightly amongst each other. Your immediate reluctance is easily spotted and it only makes him ache more. He’s not sure what has elicited this behavior but whatever it is, he’ll kick himself over it when you’re not around.

“I don’t know, Ji… I have a report to work on.” You avoid his gaze, knowing that the second you see his pleading eyes you’ll cave in. He knows that too and he knows that if he makes his voice a tad bit squeaky, you’ll begin to crack. You always do.

“Y/n-ie, please…” He tilts his head, crouching to meet your gaze. His big round eyes glistening either from the lights, his own natural charm, or the tears that will spill if you pay him no mind. He doesn’t mean to pout but when his lower lip involuntarily juts out you let out a defeated noise through your teeth followed by grabbing his cheeks and stroking them softly, uttering a “Fine, fine!” to satiate his nerves and your own craving of touching his face like you once did.

His grandma can wait, it’s not like she’ll even use the cookware set any time soon.

“What were you even doing back there?” You break the silence, both walking towards the exit. Without you looking, he tosses a quarter out of gratitude into the fountain when passing by. He swears he can see the tiles gleam and let out satisfied clinks. They’re just as thankful.

With a hand to the back of his neck, he laughs softly. Head turning to you with excuses in mind yet he opts to tell the truth. “I like to pretend it’s my own kitchen whenever I go in there.” He laughs embarrassedly to which he is received with a silent ‘cute’ and observing look.

He’s glad he distracted you but it also feels like a backhanded compliment. Adorable. RIght, that’s what you still think of him.

“By the way. Do you mind grabbing a drink instead? Not a huge fan of coffee… Unless you want to of course.” Jisung suggests, putting his gloves on once both reach outside. He notices your lack of scarf and undoes his while you contemplate an answer. Halting your train of thought when he wraps it around you which ends up making you blurt out a “Sounds good!” in return.

It’s no surprise that the car ride was full of silence but at least the radio muffled your thoughts and hopefully his own if he had any regarding the atmosphere. There was a part of him that grew resentful and hurt with the lack of conversation but the greater part was ecstatic to have you so near. This is what he’s dreamt and wished for for years and he finally has it. He does not plan on wasting any millisecond of both your times.

Jisung wasn’t an avid drinker and did not know much about alcohol besides what his friends have shown him. His parents didn’t drink and his grandmother would shove a can of miller high life onto his hand if he ever spoke more than his usual five sentences. The way parents shove a bottle into a crying baby’s mouth to put it to rest. Why did he request a drink instead, though? Simply to gain some courage. Lord knows he’ll need it if things keep going the way they’ve been.

The place he took you to wasn’t that different from the ones you’ve been to during your college days. With ugly stained yellow walls, dart boards and old decorations hanging on them. Wooden columns covered in thick layers of resin as were the counters and tables. Grumpy beer-bellied bar tenders arguing over the football game playing on screen right now with already drunk customers. Yeah, not ideal for a first date but the only bar he knew. The only piece worth being valuable a signed poster of James Hunt.

What the hell was James Hunt doing in this fuck ass town?

He let you go in first upon finding a booth hidden in the back of the bar. Far more darker and cozier at this end. Perhaps due to the lack of distance he kept between you two when he himself slid in, his arm instinctively resting on the backrest of the booth around your head. The need to simply wrap it around your shoulders killing him.

“Pretty cold out there, right?” Jisung began, removing his gloves and jacket, shoving ghe former in the pockets. You didn’t turn to him, responding with a hum as you remove the scarf. He frowns at this, slumping against the backrest, watching you look through the standee with all drink names.

“What are you ordering, Jisung?” He hadn’t thought about it, more immersed in hearing your voice. Either Way he didn’t know a single brand of alcohol, ‘Lite’ the only word in relevance to alcohol that he knew. “You choose, I’m fine with whatever.” He diverts, leaning closer to you to read the alcohol options.

Though, as if you could read minds, you turn to look at him. A soft smile with narrowed eyes focusing on him. “Are you sure you want to drink? We can get something else, I don’t mind.” You suggest, expression relaxing now seeing how easily he reacted.

“Yes! I mean no! No, I would really like a drink, unless you want something else.” Jisung tumbled through his words. The bashful look on his face raises your lack of restraint in grabbing and handling him the way you’ve done so many years ago. Oh how truly adorable he remains. Although, he’s gotten quite handsome. Too handsome for his own good.

“Okay,” You nod, fingers ghosting over his cheek to reassure him– never touching, just yet.

Raising your hand to call a bartender over, one of the two begrudgingly stroll to your table. Tossing a worn out and smelly towel over his shoulder, he gives both of you a look as if to hurry up and order. With reluctance and indignance, you scoff. “Two blackberry smashes. Whiskey in both.”

“We ain’t got that stuff here.” His mannerisms were comical and absurd. As if he was angry that a request was made but also so nonchalant, so careless for your presence. More interested in going back to his game.

“Fine, two pints of your house beers, tap and two shots of your cheapest tequila. ” Jisung thinks your voice now matches the arrogance and annoyance of the bartender. He sort of likes it, it reminds him of the times you yourself had defended him against snobs at camp.

The balding bartender grunts as a response, sounding like an okay before leaving. “Swear, it’s like he's being held at gunpoint to work here, Jesus.” You shake your head, attitude dropping when you notice his reddened cheeks. Curse him and his presentable fondness. “Oh I’m sorry, Ji. Was I being mean?” Your body turns to him, hand clutching his out of habit. Jisung smiles at the contact, looking at it briefly before looking at you. “No, you were perfect.” He utters, reveling in your touch.

You smile at him, embarrassed. Something that he takes with pride. “You never told me what you were cooking up in that kitchen, you know.” You aim to divert the focus. He chuckles at it, “Caldo de Callo. I heard it on TV, I think the host said it was a Spanish dish. Never had Spanish food.” He sounded so proud yet clueless at the same time. Though, you tilt your head, lips parting and closing the further your eyebrows furrow. He hears you hum and finally ask, “Do you mean Caldo Gallego?”

Jisung can see you stifle a laugh when his face begins to feel insanely hot, scorching even. Embarrassment written all over his face that he has to bury them in his sleeve-covered hands, groaning into them about how stupid he sounded. If only he knew that what he originally said translated to ‘callous soup’.

Endearing is the word you’d call it though. Endearing he is with his crescent shaped eyes and shamed pout. Endearing are the whines and groans he lets out when you can’t seize your giggles. He thinks about telling you to stop but doesn’t, your noises far more prettier and enjoyable even if at the expense of his misery.

“It’s okay, Jisungie.” You elongate his name, “It sounds similar, don’t fret too much!” You giggle, petting his hair as one does a child trying to comfort them. He enjoys your touch but doesn’t enjoy the slight patronizing tone to your voice. He’s not sure if he can call it patronizing because he’s aware there’s no malice intent behind your words but it did sound condescending in the way those speak to their juniors and he was tired of you treating him like one the longer the night progressed.

Jisung huffs, sighing when his head touches the table. He turns to look at you momentarily, distracted when your drinks arrive. He hears a few forced thank you’s and sarcastic my pleasures. Your feud with the bartender is amusing but not for this time. Right now he wants to focus on this sentiment brewing in his chest.

He gives you one last glance before reaching for the shot glasses. “To seeing each other again?” Such a simple question that made you hum pensively. You don’t deny it, clinkling your glasses together before dowing the burning liquor. With the taste of battery acid buring your throat, Jisung on the other hand clutches his throat, spitting it out onto a bundle of napkins.

You find him so agonizingly cute that your hands begin to ache to touch him and squeeze the life out of him. How adorable can someone be?! “Oh Jisungie… Tequila isn’t for everyone.” You tut, shaking your head. “Perhaps I should order you some apple juice to soothe that, yeah?”

Your giggle makes his ears ring, that same gnawing feeling that you're mocking him consuming him. He knows you’re not doing it on purpose. That you truly care for his wellbeing but is he truly that easy to perceive as naive and childish that you won’t see him as more? Sure, he didn’t like the tequila but so what? It was their cheapest one. If it had been a bit more expensive, then he’s sure he would have drank it as easy as you. He’s not a kid, why won’t you see that?

Jisung doesn’t voice it though, sighing while redirecting the conversation. “Were you doing some last minute shopping back at the mall?” He questions, obvious discontent and melancholy in his voice. You let it be, nodding as a response before shaking your head when you register the question. Too enthralled with how pretty he looks like this. Face flushed from the alcohol and embarrassment. So cute, so adorable, so perfect. Your Jisungie.

“No, no, actually I went with intentions to watch a movie but the cinema won’t play the movie I wanted to watch so I was on my way out when I saw you through the window doing your little thing.” Your giggle sends him into orbit. He feels lightheaded. Your words weren’t laced with judgment but fondness, he’s thankful for it this time.

“What movie?” Jisung attempts to act as if you didn’t affect him.

“Uh…” Your hesitance piques his interest. “Sex, Lies, and Videotape.” Well it seems that it’s you who is embarrassed now. He takes it, smiling to himself. “Gee, I wonder why they wouldn’t screen this at a regular movie theater.” He giggles, wiping the corner of his mouth when he feels some leftover alcohol residing there.

“Okay now, I had just gotten out of a meeting. My brain was not fully cooperating.” He giggles some more, his teeth now clutching his sleeve. “Honestly, why would a movie like that interest you?” You smile at him, the rim of your beer glass pressing against your lips. “James Spader.”

Jisung rolls his eyes, a scoff leaving his lips while he himself takes a sip of his beer. It’s unrefined and messy. The way the lager alcohol slips down the corner of his mouth and slicks his lips when he places it down. You watch it all through the window of your own, taking slow sips to admire his silent tantrum. He’s never been fond of James Spader. Or any other man you’ve mentioned.

“He’s not all that, you know.” Jisung mutters with a pout, leaning against the backrest. You don’t laugh like you intended. You simply acknowledge him through the handkerchief you pull out of your pocket to softly wipe the residue of beer before it becomes sticky on his skin. He can taste the flavor of your black cherry lip gloss when you swipe it over his lips.

Such an intimate moment prompts him to take a grasp of your free hand, playing with your fingers like he’s done before. “Oh please. He’s the perfect blend of sensible and… manly.” Jisung can only guess you’re thinking of James Spader with the way you bite your lower lip and narrow your eyes. A lustful sigh escapes your nostrils which serves as confirmation to his inquiry.

Seemed like a bunch of bullshit, if you were to ask Jisung what he thought. If you wanted those qualities then why didn’t you realize how perfect Jisung was? Maybe he’s being a little self absorbed or malleable to your desires but so what? He’ll do anything to make you look at him.

Furrowing his eyebrows, dropping your hand and pointing at his chest, Jisung spoke. “I’m sensible and manly!” It sounded more whiny than he expected which would prove to throw off whatever result he wished for. Of course it would, your laugh seems to provide an answer to such.

“I don’t know about the latter…” Your hum upsets him more.

“I am!”

“I don’t know. Just look at how cute you look pouting like that…”

Jisung huffs, upset at your continuous dismissiveness. Must you always remind him of his inferiority? What must he do if you won’t see that he’s a grown man now?

“I am, I’ll prove it to you.” His tone must have sounded significantly bratty that you receive it with patronization. Sarcastically telling him to prove it then if he was so manly.

So he did. He did in the way his large hands cradled your face, warming up your cheeks although that might be from the immediate heat his actions spurred. He proves it through his stealthy moves, bringing his face closer to yours in which he allows his lips to ghost over yours for milliseconds before finally connecting them.

Shocked is what you would describe this feeling clinging onto your chest. Never in a million years would you have thought about kissing Jisung. Sure, you’ve kissed his cheeks and forehead in the past, but that’s what friends do with someone they find adorable and innately drawn to. Jisung has always been hard to avoid, even if you wanted to, one look in those glistening round eyes and you’d submit to his every wish. Everyone does.

His lips moved with inexperience, soft and slow but uncoordinated with no idea where to go from there. His internal debates made obvious when he would part his lips for a second before going back to what seemed like peppered pecks. The way dolphins kiss. You wonder if this is his first kiss or how he kisses overall. If so, you’re only sorry that it’s so miserable.

Jisung eventually determines that he should stop. Either from shame at how uneventful it was or, well, simply because it was uneventful. Rather you two stare at each other for what felt like ages. His confidence is dying down along with your shock. By now both reverting back to your usual personas which meant that he shyly tried to look around without breaking eye contact and you, sternly looking at him without blinking much in order to gain answers.

He sighs knowing this was a lost cause. Rubbing the back of his neck, his body shifts to face you more than before. “Why haven’t you sent me any letters? Why are you ignoring me, Y/n?...” Jisung hates how easy it is for him to transmit his emotions onto his voice. While he hates to sound whiny, he would prefer that over the hurt that enveloped every single syllable he’s spewed out. What he hates more is that he’s not able to shut his mouth. “You have my home number, you have my address. Why haven’t you replied to my letters?”

“Jisung…”

“No! Please tell me.” God, how he hates how dismissive you can be, “I’ve been waiting for you for years. Please give me something, anything.”

Jisung’s face contorts the longer he begs, his lips reddening and puffing more than normal. His cheeks are ravished by that harsh crimson that warms them, borderline scorching. His voice, now a mixture of hurt but whiney that makes you shift at how uncomfortable you are that it spurred something in your chest, now traveling down to your abdomen. You really want to slap yourself for this.

Your Jisungie. Your sweet Jisungie, you idiot!

“I’m sorry, Ji. I was busy with my discretion and didn’t have time for anything. Then I graduated and it was a bloodbath to even get a job right out of college. I mean, I almost threw myself to the sharks and contemplated going to a convent. Can you imagine? All my hard work wasted. Then this year…”

Almost like a child that should have not spoken, Jisung raises an eyebrow when you reach for your beer glass, using it as a shield to make you stop talking. He grew increasingly irritated by your silence. “This year what, Y/n?!”

He’s never spoken to you like this which raises concerns with how you don’t mind it. In fact, you surprisingly invite it, although in minimal quantities. Seeing as there was no way out of it, you sigh, shoulders slumping. “Then this year I saw your mom at the film store around Easter. We were both picking up pictures and we talked for a bit until I asked about you and she said that you had a girlfriend. That I should probably be conscious that not all girls are comfortable with their boyfriend being so close to other girls. That she wouldn’t take kindly to seeing me send you letters so often, let alone pictures…”

Jisung has never been angry at his mother. Sure, irritated and hurt. But never angry, which seems to be a feeling he never thought he’d harbor for the woman that has given him life and all the love a child deserves. He knew his mom wasn’t too keen on his infatuation on you, he’s not sure if it’s for the difference in age or weary of someone she hasn’t fully met besides a few encounters on drop-off and pick-up day at camp.

He always imagined that she would come around once she truly met you, so why was she trying to sabotage him on something he’s been begging every single deity for?!

“So, if you have a girlfriend, why the hell did you just do that, Jisung?” The disgust and confusion in your voice made him feel far more awful than he already was. Appalled would probably be a greater feeling, though. He’s made sure to let you know that with the harsh ‘what?!’ that spews out of his lips like a hymn.

“What the fuck? I’ve never had a girlfriend. Jesus fucking Christ, why would she say that?” He questions the latter to himself, unaware that he’s confessed his inexperience to you (as if it wasn’t noticeable); shifting his attention to you shortly after. “Why would you believe her in the first place? I’ve never looked at anyone but you! Why won’t you see that?”

It’s not his grasp on your shoulders that startles you but rather the sincerity in his confession. Never in a million years did you think you’d be hearing these words from Jisung. The fuzziness in your chest adds to that shock which confuses you and at the same time disgusts you.

Jisung is far more perceptive than you had thought, “Please… It’s been you since the summer we met…” He goes back to pleading, his grasp softening. Kneading your arms as to beg for contact on your end. You hate how much this is luring you into whatever he wants. You’ve never been able to say no to him, yet again these found feelings are clashing with those you’ve fostered since you met him.

It’s vile and conflicting to see him in such a sweet light. As your junior who’d you do anything for, to… this incessant needy and lovestruck man that keeps begging for an ounce of affection in any form possible. If it was for Jisung he’d be on his knees kissing the sole of your shoe as long as you get to tell him you love him the way he loves you.

You sigh, contemplating on what to do or what to feel. “I don’t know, Jisung.” You huff conflicted. You’ve always been like a little br–” His hand covers your mouth before you can even finish your sentence. His eyes tremble and you realize that he’s much closer than he had been. “Don’t finish that. Please don’t ever say that again…” He begs and begs. Either it be his words, the way his eyes look at you, or his body language.

“I’m twenty-two, I’m taller than my own older brother or any of the friends we made in camp. I can drink and smoke if I want. I’m a man now, Y/n. Not that scrawny squeaky voiced kid you met long ago. I don’t need you to see me like that. So please… erase that from your brain and see me as I am now.”

You don’t know if you hate him or yourself at the moment. You’ve never been one to reject change, in fact you welcome it but it’s different when it comes to the image of people you like. Fuck it, you’re even upset at how deep you’re thinking about this when within a few minutes you might think this is stupid and unserious.

“If age is the problem, don’t let it get to you. We don’t even have a disgusting gap. For goodness sake, we were in the same group classifications every year at camp and Mark had already hit the group limit. That should be enough to get you out of whatever hellhole you’re digging yourself into.”

See? Eventually things could turn so unserious and with the sound of his voice, rather bratty and accusatory. “Do you not like me, is that it? Do you not find me desirable?” He questions, head nodding to incentivize an answer from you. He almost makes it seem natural and you wonder how many times he’s done this before. Push people’s buttons until he gets an answer. You suppose he truly has grown.

The Jisung you last knew would never whine for something like this. All he had to do was say please with a pout and he’d get what he wanted. Far more innocent and civilized. This was crude, erotic, and mocking. You expect him to give you a cheshire smile when he gets what he wants in comparison to his gummy one full of appreciation.

Yes, he’s no longer a boy. He’s now a sweetly cunning man.

“It’s not that.” You blurt out, cursing yourself at the admittance that he has more of a chance than either of you could’ve thought. Expectedly, that cheshire smile presents itself slowly. Sultrily, he speaks. “Then what is it?” He whispers, lips to your ear as his hands create a path down your upper body.

The words hang heavy on your tongue, distracted by his touch. Finding his large hands more pleasurable than you could’ve thought. “I actually don’t know…” You confess sincerely, eyelids fluttering when they land on your knee, fingers padding over the clothed flesh. Contemplating on whether to stay where they are at or slide up.

Ecstatic by your bodily response, he smiles sweetly. Whispering in your ear, “Let me prove it to you… Let me erase that image of me you have, please…” He begs, lips trailing to your cheek, a blazing trail branding your skin. When they reached your lips, you couldn’t deny him the wonders of being kissed in return.

You both sigh into the kiss the second they perfectly slot into each other. It’s slick and wet, albeit, much more pleasurable than his first one. This one you’re able to enjoy the delicacy of those plump red lips that envelope yours and leave a delicious sting that makes you crave for more.

Your hands paw at his sweater, drawing him closer to feel his warmth. He takes this opportunity to let his hands roam up your thighs, massaging the insides until he decides that he won’t wait and lets his hand crawl to the hem of your skirt. His hands –scorching– against your skin when he manages to pull down your tights. Bunching them around your knees and covering your legs with his jacket.

He smiles into the kiss when he feels you react to his feather touches. Taunting the idea of touching you further. He’s not too cruel though, not when this is what he’s wanted for so long. Therefore, he decides to reward both of you by letting his fingers go under your panties, the cotton feeling like heaven against his knuckles. He revels in the feeling of your wetness clinging to the fabric. Cooling against his skin while he lets his fingers waltz up and down your folds. Contemplating what their next move will be, unpreoccupied since you seem to enjoy whatever he is currently giving you. He can see it with the way your eyelids flutter and the kiss grows hungrier, needier. This is all he truly wanted.

Jisung decides to not taunt you any longer. He’s never wanted to upset you. Allowing his fingers to softly part your lips, twisting his ring clad middle finger and inserting the long digit into you. They felt so cold within your walls, forcing a gasp to leave your lips. He took that opportunity to muffle it with his tongue the second it intruded the cavity of your mouth.

The muscle, surprisingly strong as it dances along with yours, savoring the delicacy of your taste. This is overshadowed by the spasm of your legs the slower he pumped his finger into you. Molding your walls to the ribs of his nimble and spindly digits. Your pleasure is exerted through sighs and hungry kisses which he consumes all you give him. He thinks this is enough incentive to insert a second finger. This time his ring finger, quickly adapting it to the movement of the other one. It’s nice to feel the contrast between his warm acclimated finger to the cold shorter one.

His fingers move slowly, picking up the pace when he decrees that you deserve more pleasure than he currently grants you. He’s driven by the way you cling to him, hands going under his sweater and clutch his sides, fingernails softly taking the warm flesh. Jisung finds it delicious how you cling to him the way your walls grip to his fingers. Sucking him in and keeping them in place whenever he thinks of even taking them out without making you come first.

Neither speak but the silent mewls that leave your lips is enough to let him know he’s doing something good. He’s proven right when you softly nip at his swollen lips, sucking on the lower one, resulting in him releasing a shaking breath.

You will be the death of him.

Jisung found that he loved how you look when you writhe in pleasure in his arms. He thinks you look otherworldly with the way your lips part to release those sweet chants he has recorded in his brain. Enticing when your tongue sticks out to cling to his and his lips just to know he’s still there making you feel better than you’ve felt in a while. He knows you're ready when you gnaw at his lips and jaw, holding to the back of his neck as your lips trail as hungrily as his, prior. Leaving a trail of rouge that he wishes to seep into his skin like a tattoo.

When he feels your teeth cling to his jugular, he can’t help but let out a guttural moan, thankful at how secluded this booth was. His fingers reward that feeling by moving faster, his thumb rubbing delicate yet quick circles on your clit. At some point he felt scared that your cunt would swallow his rings with every clench around his fingers. You were so close and all he felt was pride and gratification that it was him that was making you feel this way.

Fuck, he could explode in his pants right now.

“Jisungie…I can’t hold back anymore.” You pant, leaving open mouthed kisses along his Adam's apple. Tongue roaming and savoring the saltiness of his skin taut on his clavicles.

He’s no one to make you suffer and not get what you want. Instinctively, his fingers pick up the pace, pushing them as far as he can. Curling them and covering your mouth when the volume of your prayers increase. Swallowing them whole when he connects his mouth with yours, luxuriating in the sybaritism of your orgasm through your kiss and spasming legs.

It takes you a minute to calm down, panting softly. Jisung looks down at you with a pleased smile, his fingers still in you, pruning by the second but he doesn’t mind. He sighs constantly, kissing you softly this time. It’s sweet and tender, similar to the first one he gave you with the difference that your cooperation makes it run smoothly.

When he parts, his fingers slowly ease out, causing you to shudder. You feel so empty and cold at the lack of his touch. Rewared only by the mere fact that he prods your lips with his ring finger, slowly entering your mouth. You savor yourself on him, tongue running along the underside, lingering on his finger pad.

No one has ever done this for you. Look at and treat you like you’re their whole world despite the lewd scenery.

His finger slips far more slick from your lips than it had entered your mouth. He takes them up to his own, running them along like a brush on the most pristine parchment. Letting its ink sink into the grooves and cement itself for eternity.

Biting your lower lip, you examine the way he takes both fingers into his mouth. Pupils blown out once he’s fully swallowing the taste of you in all forms. He knew you were perfect but this is beyond that. This is an exquisiteness he’s never savored before. He will never be satisfied again.

Jisung leans down making you think he was to kiss you again. The reality was that your essence was more inebriating than the shot of tequila and the pint of beer sitting on the table before him that he had to have a taste of the fruit directly.

In swift motions, he moves his jacket from your legs, shoving your skirt up and letting it fall over his head. Despite the awkward angle, Jisung managed to swipe the tip of his tongue against your slick cunt. The muscle parting your lips and forcing a gasp out of you.

It’s a mixture of shock and pleasure. He was shameless and that made it so hot and intoxicating, yet fear was consuming you. Forcing you to take a grasp at the back of his neck and pull him up with as much delicate force as you could muster. Like a starving kitten, parted from its mother’s tit, Jisung fetches your lips.

He looks so pretty and so stupid. So drunk and starved for you. The feeling so obvious in his hazy eyes and wet lips from your come that he has yet to lick or press against your own. You give him the latter, kissing him to satiate his need for just a bit. Biting his lower lip to calm him down.

“Don’t be so greedy, Jisung.” You scold against his lips, removing your mangled and wet tights and shoving them into your pocket. He cries like a kicked puppy but nods, getting out of the booth and helping you out knowing you’ll look like a newborn deer after his filthy handling.

Neither of you pay any mind to the cashier that takes in the payment. Weary eyes scanning you both and scoffing without questions. It’s not his first rodeo.

Drunk in a daze, Jisung doesn’t question when you give him directions. He expected it to be a hotel, one you should be staying at for work. It dawns upon him that it’s your apartment when he sees you punch in the entry code.

You’ve been so close all this time and he doesn’t knows how to take it. It’s evident in the look he gives you when you both enter the apartment and he looks around. His lips parting to question it but being shushed by your lips and hands tugging at the hem of his sweater to pull it off his body. Leaving him bare and goosebump filled before you.

“Not now…” you whisper against his chest, kissing his torso and pecks, nipping his nipple. You can talk about reality once you’re finished.

Jisung sighs but welcomes the feel of your lips and touch all over him. His own fingers unbutton your coat and cardigan, pushing them off simultaneously to make his fingers crawl to your back and unclasping your bra.

He withers and hunches over when your hands push down his pants, grasping his hard and leaking cock through his briefs. The wet spot ironically forming a heart. His Lip part, erotically to let out breathy gasps and pants. For this, you kiss him like he once did. Invading his mouth with your own tongue, holding his face in your hands, making sure he makes no effort in separating until both you feel the air escaping your bodies.

In the process, both of you manage a waltz in ridding of the remaining clothes. Kicking off any shoes and underwear, leaving each other bare in the middle of your living room. If he was given the time to admire it more, he’d tell you that it was truly what he expected of you— positively.

Instead he’s eating you alive, carnivorously gnawing at your lips in hopes to draw blood. An act that you embrace and let him do as he pleases. Simply because you’ll return the favor with as much fervor that you both will let the crimson paint itself on your lips the way your rogue has marked his skin.

When air finally did what you expected it to do, Jisung connects his forehead against yours. Both panting and drawing your bodies flush against each others. He grins seeing the little number he did against your lips, the cracks of them full like a dried up river during dry seasons. If only he knew he looked the same.

“Eat me… take your time in consuming me…” you implore, the words playing over and over in his brain as he pushes you down on the couch. Dropping to his knees without a care of what your neighbor on the bottom floor will say or if his palid knees will bruise instantly. For you, he’ll writhe in pain.

Jisung wastes no time, he separates your legs and throws them over his shoulders. His head delves in between the pretty image of your cunt and clings his lips around it fully. His lips suctioning while his tongue teases your entrance. His grasp on your inner thighs is a bit harsh but pleasurable enough that you’ll enjoy seeing the marks he’ll leave on them tomorrow.

He’s fueled more by your sweet words and the tugs at his raven hair by your fingers that curl on the locks. It feels much better when your nails scratch his scalp and for that he sucks on your clit. Incentive or reward, they’re interchangeable.

“Ah!… take your time…” you moan, head thrown back and giving him a pretty image of the expanse of your neck and the way your nipples perk. You look so heavenly that he knows it’s blasphemous. The way the overhead light shines behind your head, creating a glowing halo and he’s glad that it’s Sunday for this is his mass and holy communion. His mother should not dislike you after this.

Jisung lets his tongue roam around your cunt, savoring every crevice, picking up every single drop that spills from you. Be it that no one has ever paid such devotion to your mound, your legs begin to shake around his head. Your hands cling to his hair and pull him closer and closer to the point his nose manages to create a pleasurable pressure against your clit.

This is no problem for him. He lavishes himself in your taste and smell, moaning against you to create further sensitivity which is appreciated and you reward him by coming almost immediately when he lays his tongue flat on you to lick down and enter deep into you.

A slew of moans leave your lips but his name is the one you scream out. “Jisung, Jisung, Jisung.” Oh how well has conforming paid him off. For this he leans back on his feet, hands rubbing his thighs and teasing his own sensitive cock as he watches you writhe on the soiled couch. A lake of your come seeping into the faux leather, shimmering as its reflection on his lips, nose, and chin. How beautiful you both look.

Animalistically and greedily so, Jisung dives back in. This time pulling your body further down the couch. Leaving you limp and folded while he raises your hips and clings to them. He’s more messy and filthy about it this time around. He allows his lips to suck harshly and lick as consolation just to softly bite your clit and make you cry out masochistically.

Hypersensitivity, a force that travels in the form of your loud moans and cries. That’s what fuels him and it feels so sadistic but he indulges himself at least this once. He’s hopeful it won’t be the only time but for now he will enjoy it as it is.

He can hear you begging to please let you finish. That you don’t have it in you to last long anymore but he doesn’t relent just yet. Not when his hips buck forward and shudder with every grace of his cock against the leather of your couch. It’s so cold and harsh that it hurts but it also feels so good that he can’t help but be excited at how your soft and warm walls will soothe his dick like ointment to a wound.

That seems more exciting, yes.

All right, Jisung will please you once more. He kisses your cunt softly, long and languid velvet like kitten licks to push you further. His own rutting is much slower which proves to be a painful decision for he can’t control himself when his abdomen cramps up and painfully moans against your chest as he stands up to release all over your swollen and irritated cunt.

The feeling of his come feels like boiling water spilt on an open wound. It makes you come for the third time this night, the feeling increasing when he hums hungrily as he rubs his come in a sheer layer, ointment to your ache. The remaining that stuck to his hand, on his cock, rubbing up and down to suffer that same overstimulation at his own hands. This is his solidarity for what he’s caused you.

Tired and panting, Jisung takes a seat beside you. Caressing your face while trying to regain some stamina. You’re so spent that you lean into his touch, kissing his soiled hand and licking the saltiness off of it to savor him the way he has you.

Fuck… that’s making his dick twitch.

“Pure nectar from the forbidden fruit.” Jisung leans into your ear, kissing your cheek softly as he helps you onto his lap. You whine but ultimately allow him for there’s one more thing he can offer you and you need it.

His fingers are soft when they touch your entrance. It’s so soft and so warm, he can only imagine how sensitive you are. The image makes him moan softly against your ear. Your head resting on his shoulder and your arms wrapped around his torso. Limp yet so needy against his body. The body heat between both creates a layer of perspiration that travels from that connection onto your entire body.

Jisung rubs your back in soothing circles, leaving peppered kisses onto your hair and inhaling the scent of your shampoo. He inhales and exhales like his life depended on it, kiss after kiss after kiss.

“You’ve always been so good to me, Y/n. Do you like how I’m thanking you?” He hums, lifting your face with a finger on your chin. “Yes…” you sincerely confess in a breath, returning the favor with a slow kiss that allows your tongues to finally explore and examine each other the way you both are doing. By any form, you two will always find a way to please each other.

“And, I think I should keep going so you can fully understand how much I like you and have liked you…” he mutters in between kisses, his tongue shoving the words down your throat so you’ll digest them immediately.

You can only nod, feverishly and with a shiver down your spine when he holds your lower back, helping you up while the tip of his cock rubs slowly against your folds. You can tell it’s helping him get hard. His flaccid cock rapidly hardens with every stroke, his breathing increases and comes out shaky against your ear. It doesn’t help that you’re kissing his throat like you were back at the bar with the exception that they’re less hungry and far more passionate.

“Can I fuck you, Y/n?” He begs, eyes droopy in a plea. If it wasn’t because of how he’s holding you, you’d be sure his hands would be together in a prayer. You hum, pretending to contemplate when your answer had been decided long ago.

“I don’t know…” you tease. God only knew his abhorrence of those stupid three words. He’ll make sure to knock them out of your vocabulary if you say yes. For now, like the brat he is, he shakes and writhes, tantrum-like while his words come out in elongated whines.

“Please, Y/n…” he cries out, his grasp on you tightening slightly. You hum again but you don’t speak, basking in the pretty sounds he makes when he doesn’t get what he wants.

“You can’t feed me and then starve me… I’ll go crazy if I don’t taste you again.” He pleads, lower lip jutting out and letting his face get closer to yours. He’s so pretty like this that you can’t help but concede.

With a giggle you nod, “Very well then.” You tell him, kissing his cheek. The sweet act is gone when he lowers you down on his hard cock. You had seen it moments prior but hadn’t registered that the stretch would sting like this. It’s not bad, matter of fact it feels so fucking good… and it doesn’t help that he’s long enough that you feel him in your stomach.

“Ji…” You moan out in parts, eyelids fluttering as he bottoms out. Jisung sucks in air through his teeth when he feels your ass on his balls, squishing them and begging them to please you. That is something that he will hear out anytime.

Your voice sends him a whirlwind, “Give me your hand.” You request from him. If it wasn’t for the sheer fact that you wanted him to see and feel what he was doing to you, you’d spend more time admiring his large hands. Seeing them this way, you can understand how he made you come perfectly.

Leaning back causes you to squish his testicles further. A moan leaves his lips hungrily as he admires you through hooded lids, his head thrown over the backrest. When he feels where you placed his hand, he snaps it up, admiring the prominent budge on your stomach and how warm it felt to be in you.

“See?” You ask in the sweetest tone, smiling at him. He returns it with a nod, caressing what he’s caused. Instinctively, he bucks his hips upward, a moan erupting from both your lips due to the friction and the image. It’s like a live painting being made before him.

“So pretty…” he coos, his fingers dancing around the imprint. His thrusts increase in pace, your head rolling back in pleasure. It’s not fair that he has to do all the work; holding onto your thighs, you begin moving up and down on his shaft.

His moans get louder and his hands roam your body like undiscovered land. Landing on your breast and squeezing them. Your own hands leave your thighs to help him in kneading, yelping when his fingers take a hold of your nipples to squeeze them. “You’re doing so good, Jisungie.” You praise, each word received with a hard thrust from him and a whine, thanking you.

“My Jisungie is so big now…” you moan, leaning down to capture his lips in a kiss, he holds your hips while increasing his pace. “Such big hands,” reaching for one, you kiss his palm before letting it fall to its initial spot.

“Such big pretty lips…” Your teeth nip his lower lip, reopening the cut from your earlier‘s cannibalistic game. “The most beautiful big eyes.” And with a drop of his blood on your lip, you kiss his eyelid. Eyelashes flutter upon feeling your warm moist flesh.

You attempt to sound just as tempting and sultry, but his thrusts along your hips hopping on his dick— your words leave out in broken moans and cries.

“And such a fucking big dick that will make my guts yearn for it again.”

Jisung’s eyes blow out, lips parting and licking off the blood from them. He allows himself to be vocal now. There’s no holding back when his hands grasp your ass and hold you in place. His hips move up rapidly, reaching deeper than he had previously. Your lower body stings from his handling, it doesn’t help that his testicles are slapping against you that creates an echo to play all over your living room.

You’re being fucked stupid that no coherent words attempt to leave you anymore. Anything that does are moans and cries which he swallows entirely when he grasps your jaw harshly to kiss you as messy and wettly as he did at the bar. There’s some teeth and so much tongue but neither care when the feeling of your walls molding around his cock, that they’ll forget how good his fingers initially made you feel.

He’s so swollen, you feel it with every thrust the same way he feels you grip him with no intention of letting go until you both get what you want. It’s such a perfect fit that makes his abdomen ache. He’s so ready and so are you.

“Finish… please, finish.” He begs, hips move messily and mindlessly. He’s so ready to be done but he needs you to come first. It’s not until he shifts and brings you closer that his mouth wraps around your tit. Hungrily kissing it like a starved animal. His teeth take no mercy in biting the skin around and your nipple, leaving indentations of his pretty teeth. At least you’ll have his smile engraved on you.

He continues on the second one, your nipples so hard that they ache from his sucking and biting. And when he feels the needs to insert two fingers in you while he fucks desperately with squelches imploring you both to finish, you can’t help but clamp around him with a loud moan erupting from your lips and coming around him. Fingers and cock.

Your cries don’t seize, they only increase when he himself spills within you. It’s so warm, almost hot and there’s so much that you can feel it run down the sides as he remains in you. Poor Jisung, he had been holding it for so long. Your poor little, Jisungie.

You squirm on top of him, shaking from the great orgasm. Something you hadn’t had since that one time you masturbated at nineteen. Thank you Jisung for being such a great sport.

“You know,” Jisung is the first to talk, swallowing. He was parched. “I’m so glad I waited for this.” He smiles tiredly, you giggle with a sigh but ultimately nod. “I’m sure other girls were satisfying enough.” You say, to which he shakes his head.

“No, I meant sex.” He confesses confidently until he coils in when he realizes what he’s said. Your surprised look only makes the feeling grow. “No way.”

He nods

“No way! There’s no way you fucked me this good with it being your first time!” You attempt to lean back to look at him but your body aches and it also decrees that it wants to cling to Jisung’s as much as it can so the most you muster is looking up at him.

It’s such a pretty image when you notice the bashful look on his face, crimson blush consuming his entire body. How he, out of custom, smiles and throws his head back with his index finger extended under his nose to cover his mouth. There’s your sweet Jisung.

You laugh quietly, hand going up to caress his hair. “So cute… you’ll always be my cute Jisungie.” The statement is received with a groan but ultimately, Jisung relents. Kissing you once more, refined and sweetly. He understand what you mean and he also understands that you mean it differently now. Therefore, he won’t dwell on it. Sure, you’ll always look at him in such a sweet image but now with the addition that he has proven to you how much he’s grown… as a man.

#kwritersworldnet #kvanity #park jisung smut #nct dream smut #nct smut #park jisung x you #park jisung x reader #nct #nct fic #park jisung

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crustyfloor · 3 months ago

Text

SUA LORE (I'm going to die one of these days fuck)

When Sua was younger, among all the sisters she had grown up with, she had one older sister, but seemingly, unlike their other sisters, that woman didn't treat Sua with hostility, in fact, she looked like she doted on Sua and looked out for her.

Translation (Creds to: @/greenbean1467 on yt in the comments section):

1/2 ?: You should take care of your hair. (Woah, careful) ?: So immature… 2/2 ?: Alright, it can’t be helped. Sua has to be punished! Tickle tickle! [ At that time, you were my only person, and for that reason, you also made me afraid. ]

"You were my only person, and for that reason, you also made me afraid" Is just...All her life, Sua had been an isolated individual, by choice, and because she had been shunned by her family, avoided due to her cold nature, and during those times she's only had two people to who she could really show herself too, this woman and Mizi, this woman being the only person Sua had in her life I can only imagine how afraid Sua was of losing her sister, and just how much her sister terrified her at times.

1/2 SUA: Mhm, so mother said, it’ll be time to leave after ten more nights. And mother seems happy, and I too… SUA: And that pink-haired kid could be there too, so… ?: Didn’t I tell you it’s uncouth to wiggle your toes like that? 2/2 SUA: Oh… I won’t then. ?: Ugh, so cute! ?: But you know, big sis is worried. ?: Worried that our immature little Sua could just up and die in that hellish place.

This woman and Sua look to be close; they are affectionate, and Sua almost seems to look up to this woman as if a sister figure, but the detail here I'm interested in is how worried this woman is about Sua and her remarks about Sua, she cares about Sua. Still, it shows that she looks down on Sua to some degree, whether this be in a teasing tone or not, I'm unsure. But there's an obvious obsessive fixation on Sua's innocence. And even in this relationship, cruelty was reinforced as a means to an end.

1/2 ?: You’re already so stupid, what if you just up and die in that place? ?: You poor thing, Sua. [They say that corpses fall from the sky in that place. When a weak kid like Sua just up and dies, They burn those kids in a hot, hot fire, And then they open the sky lid to sprinkle them over the living kids Like snow raining down. ] 2/3 ?: Even if it's not, I'm not smart, but I've gone so far ?: Pick--If you die. What should I do? ?: It's so cute Sua.

Growing up under the same guardian, Nigeh, who valued quality and beauty in her pets, it becomes obvious why Sua's sister was criticizing her appearance. She'd grown up hearing the same criticisms from the harsh and cold Nigeh who didn't care for their pets beyond their value, and what all they could bring to the plate, I could imagine just what kinds of things Nigeh would say to a pet human with "abnormalities".

Sua, however, was the perfect pet human, she was pretty, obedient, and acted obediently for Nigeh as a manicured doll to meet their expectations. She was attached to Nigeh like a daughter to a mother, looking to their validation to feel as if she was more valuable than she truly was even though the love wasn't reciprocated. For these reasons, she was treated differently from her other sisters, of course, there would be a level of envy and projection from Sua's sister.

Sua's sister is shown to be anxious about Sua, she seems to have been attached to her in the way a hurt child needs a security blanket to rest at night, Sua is so childish, naive, and stupid, it is reassuring to her sister to have someone to care for, as if there was still hope in this world, so without Sua, her sister's worries wouldn't be soothed, her sister was so scared that she even threatened Sua with fear, expressing how frightening and horrific this environment would be (Like, "Pick, if you die" I read it as "If I lose you, what should I do?)

In this way, Sua seems to parallel mirror woman because Sua had this same dependency on Mizi, again, in the way a hurt, lonely, scared child needs a security blanket to rest at night, Sua wanted Mizi to remain naive and stupid, willingly kept her in the dark so that Sua could feel a sense of peace and security through her, her sister was the same way with Sua, she wanted to keep Sua from the hell she would be subjected to very, very soon, but in the end, telling Sua ugly truths, about the snow, and all, had to have been fueled by bitter feelings, to rid Sua of that type of innocence, could have been any kind of love, perhaps in a twisted way she wanted to protect Sua.

She obviously had to have been mentally unstable (understandably) to say these kinds of things to a child, no less, the way she stares at Sua like she's desperate and broken, really, it's not loving, it's just desperate and cruel. Really, the fact that Alien stage can bring a person to this kind of insanity is a horrifying concept. Still, I believe she was trying to teach a lesson to Sua at this time in her life when she was growing up, making attachments and being susceptible to impressions, it was purposely harsh to frighten her, to project her fears onto Sua, and those words from her sister stuck with Sua for the rest of her life.

From that day on, all Sua could think about was death, all she could do was worry and worry until she met Mizi again.

Meeting Mizi, in all her optimism and bright smiles, was like a healing balm on Sua's wounds, or in other words, her "Cure" .

1/2 SUA: Big sister, your words then made me, as young as I was, all the more afraid. I imagined “just up and dying” so many times, even more than before… 2/2 SUA: But if I meet you again, I want to tell you this. That you were wrong. The one to be pitied was probably you.

1/2 SUA: If this is hell… 2/2 MIZI: Found you! You're that snow doll!

Interestingly enough, Mizi calling Sua a "snow doll" may be a foreshadowing of Sua's death, as now it's semi-confirmed that dead children are cremated and sprinkled down onto the Anakt children's faces, but they only think it's snow. (THAT IS JUST FUCKING SICK. someone kill me)

And a parallel to the MIZISUA video, their first meeting. (The nickname is just--telling of how Sua is perceived, as a little dressed-up doll.)

(And that fact just gives this piece a wholeeee darker meaning. of course. It somewhat disproves the theory that the dead are instead fed to the Wagyein, but I don't know which is worse. Then again Sua's sister could've been going off on a psychotic rant, so I'm not taking it too seriously. It's a weird coincidence though)

1/2 SUA: Where else could you find such a paradise so wonderful? 2/2 SUA: So you're wrong.

(Some nuance may be lost in translation. I died)

So this comic, like Ivan's comic after ROUND 6, Cure, Heavenly Garden, was Sua's reminiscing during her final moments, and her only thoughts were the words of her sister, her face, haunting as it was, and Mizi, her universe.

Sua's sister pitied her for her inevitable fate, she had known the life of being a pet-human, used, abused, and hurt, she feared death and still had her instincts intact. Knowing Sua would go through the same cycle and then meet a terrible fate on that hellish stage...tasted bitter. It was frightening, but it was one small liberty for Sua to make it something of her own.

But for Sua, it was far from hell. Sua's sister references Anakt garden and Alien stage as a whole as hell because it's a one-way ticket to your demise, there is no true life once you're in, that's why it's so frightening, but being found by Mizi in that garden--Mizi was wonderful, Mizi made Sua feel like a child, to feel warm in her bright, gentle light, feeling the tranquility of feeling freed and loved in the comfort of Mizi's gentle song, Sua didn't want to be pitied, she didn't even regret making it this far, she didn't care about death as long as she wasn't without Mizi, Because to be able to be with her, and sing with her...everything was all worth it to meet Mizi. For Sua, there is no fate more miserable than living a life without Mizi and dying that way. Living a life of loneliness and anxiety was pitiful.

Side note, the title of this comic, Heavenly Garden, maybe a religious reference and, more specifically, a reference to the Garden of Eden. The themes here that connect to "Return to the Great Anakt", all children, in ashes and all will eventually return to the great Anakt, it gives me the idea that after Sua's death, her "Heaven", was returning to Anakt Garden and returning to her paradise, Mizi.

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misserabella · 2 years ago

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hello!! I would like to make a request please. ellie x reader... imagine the reader is ellie's, hot, attractive, smart, sweet and flirty new roommate who ellie has a fucking crush on and was getting hard to control, mainly because her roommate wore short skirts in most of the time and until one day Ellie comes home and the reader is coming out of the bathroom with only a small towel covering her naked body making Ellie very horny and awkward at the same time? can end in kisses and smut? 🤭

thank you 🫶🏻

pt2!

a/n; you are just a fucking tease and she knows!!😭

playing games ♡

cw; flirty! reader, weed usage, smoking, masturbation (ellie), sexual thoughts, tension, fingering (r receiving), the knee thing, thigh riding, oral (r receiving), nipple play, choking, degradation, praise, cum eating, teasing… 18+ content minors dni!!

REMINDER: english is not my mother language so i apologize if there are some mistakes <3 !¡ either ways, i hope y’all like it. <3

REPOSTS AND COMMENTS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!<3

“els, could you please hand me that book?” your sweet voice called out for her, your beautiful eyes begging for her to reach to the top of the bookcase and hand it to you, since you couldn’t reach, even on your tip-toes.

your ass was poking out, your mini little white skirt rolling up your hips as your back arched and your chest rose, nipples hard under your fluffy blouse.

ellie’s body stiffened, and her eyes tried really hard to not trail down your body ‘cause… fuuuck, we’re those lace panties you were wearing? why was that skirt so fucking short, oh god…

“els?” she snapped out of her mind when you called out for her, and you pretended to not know, to not notice the way she was staring at you.

“yeah, sure.” she managed to say, stepping closer, trying not to think too much about how good you smelled. she was almost brushing you as she reached for it, and you moved back just the slightest to lay on her. she took a deep breath and handed it to you.

you smiled, looking up at her with those sweet eyes of yours and plushy lips.

“thanks.” you said, and she had to look and step away, or else she’d sure fuck it all up and kiss you right now.

living with you was easy, or at least it was, before she had developed a crush on you. she couldn’t help it really. ‘cause you were beautiful, and funny, and smart, and gentle and…

shit. she was truly whipped.

she loved spending time with you, and seeing you smile… but also hated the fact that she couldn’t cuddle up with you while on movie night, or kiss the lipgloss off of your lips every time you did your makeup…

sometimes all she wanted was to answer to your flirty texts how she really wanted to, but she knew that you were probably messing up with her since you two were good friends… right?

sometimes… sometimes they really got to her.

you had gone away for the weekend to visit your parents, and you were missing ellie… so why not text her?

els…

hey pretty girl, how’s everything at your parents ?

‘s good, but i miss you

i feel so alone when you’re not around…

ellie couldn’t help but blush, her heart jumping in her chest. she missed you too. so fucking much…

i miss you too

but dw, i’m sure the time will pass soon

but i want you now

her eyes widened, her breath hitched.

you need me?

mmmh, wish you were here

she sighed. she knew you weren’t texting this in a dirty way. you loved having ellie around, and you’d told her so many many times, but her mind couldn’t help but wonder… think about the possibility that you were, think about what you could be wearing. would you be on your pjs? maybe on just a shirt and panties, maybe…

her eyes closed as her hand palmed her cunt over her sweatpants.

she thought about you, about how sweet you sounded late at night when you were tired and begged her to sleep with you, about how you’ll always press yourself against her chest and play with her hair, about how you’d groan when she’d move just to bury your face on her neck, breath hitting her skin…

and before she knew it her hand was down her sweats, and she was so wet…

“fuck.” she groaned. “yeah baby? you need me? need me to fuck you all dumb and pretty for me, hm?” she gasped, her fingers rolled her clit. “i will, shit, i’ll fuck you so good…, will have you dripping all over my sheets…” she moaned loudly when her fingers plunged inside her cunt and started to fuck herself. “fuck, just like that baby, just like that…” her hips pushed against her hand. “so good…” she sighed, biting down on her lip when her fingers curled and hit that deep spot on her gummy walls that had her thighs shaking.

she lost herself to her pleasure, roughly fucking herself while thinking about you, whining and whimpering in need. shit, she knew she shouldn’t be thinking about you this way, but she was gonna cum, and she couldn’t stop.

it wasn’t long before she was cumming all over her fingers, grunting softly and moaning your name. she was breathing heavily once she had came down from it, and her fingers were glistening in cum when she finally pulled them out from her wet pussy.

her response to your message came minutes after.

why don’t i come and visit you?

ellie had started to catch some things about you. you seemed to love short skirts, like a lot. you were always wearing them around her. and god if it wasn’t driving her crazy. that, and that you liked to match your underwear to them.

tonight you had gone for black. the tiny mini jean skirt that you were wearing was pleaded, and so short that it was impossible to not show everything. and as always, you’d gone for her favorite: lace. black thin lace that hugged your ass so perfectly it had her uncomfortably shifting on the sofa, underwear getting wet.

fuck, this couldn’t be real. you looked too good, like a mother fucking dream. and she was fucking high.

“so that’s when i told her how bad her flirting was.” you laughed, smoking your own joint.

“how so?” she asked, wanting to hear you talk for ages and ages and ages. there was nothing she loved more than your voice.

“okay. so when you want to flirt with someone, you can do it in two simple ways.” you started, and she got comfortable, shifting to face you on the sofa. “the most subtle one, or the straight one.” she laughed.

“ ‘the subtle one’ ? what’s that?”

“well, for starters. the eyes. you need to like let them fall, just a little bit, look more relaxed, dazed, and blink slow…” you explained. “like this.” you did so, staring at ellie in a way that made her whole body run down in shivers, but she hide it, simply humming.

“yeah? what else?” you tried to hide a smirk, playing dumb. she was getting closer.

“touch.” you muttered, and your hand fell on her thigh, softly, just a simple stroke. ellie almost groaned. “just the slightest, and never enough.” you smiled, never moving up, where she was aching. “ and then… your lips.” you said. “bite them… lick them… if you wanna make it more straight forward do it while staring at the other’s lips.” you showed her, and she almost cursed. ‘cause you were looking at her lips as if you truly wanted to kiss her right now, and her hands were shaking.

she nodded when you looked back at her eyes.

“yeah.” she croaked, nodding. why was it so hot in here? “you’re… good.” she awkwardly said, clearing her throat, and you chuckled as she took a hit of her blunt.

‘you’re good’? seriously? jesus fucking christ.

“oh, i’m definitely good.” you teased her, and she almost choked. you laughed at the way her cheeks flushed and she coughed, green reddish eyes widening. “that’s the more forward option.” you clarified, and winked an eye.

yeah. it’s… definitely forward.

she coughed once again, drinking some water and shifting on her seat.

and you tried to play dumb when half an hour later ellie decided to say good night early, since she was ‘exhausted’, and you surely ignored every and each one of her sighs that came out loud enough to reach your ears on the other side of the wall.

ellie considered herself to be a really patient person. she knew how to hold it together. how to keep herself under control. but this…

you were just out of the shower when you got home, covered in just a mere fucking towel that almost didn’t cover you. your whole legs were exposed, your plushy thighs on display… droplets of water were still sticking to your chest, and your cheeks where flushed due to the hot steam. she couldn’t help but stare. stare at the little piece of cloth that hid your core, almost exposing you whole. she shifted awkwardly, trying to look away, but it was hard, every time her eyes finding back your beautiful body. shit. fuck.

your breasts were about to burst out of the towel, and when your eyes found her her heart stopped.

“els! you’re back.” you smiled at her. “how was your day?”

she looked at your eyes, trying really hard to keep them there. “uh…, ehm, good, yeah, what uhh, what about you?” she stuttered, and her cheeks flushed. fuck.

you rose your eyebrows. “everything okay ellie?” you inquired, taking a step closer. she almost took one backwards. “you seem kinda nervous.” you teased her, taking her one step closer.

“what are you doing?” she inquired, her voice low as you lifted your arms up her shoulders and circled her neck. she was boiling, her eyes falling to your chest as you curved your back and pushed it against hers.

“me?” you asked, puppy eyes and a lost gaze. playing pretend. “nothing…” you whispered, leaning in, your gaze on her plushy lips. you gasped and later let out a chocked out laughter when one of her hands snapped up to your neck, holding you still, only mere inches keeping you apart.

“you’re a fucking tease, you know that?” she chuckled, a pissed smirk on her face. “here you got me thinking i’m imagining the way you always seem to wear those tiny clothes around me, or how you talk and look at me… but you really are playing with me, aren’t you?” she muttered, one of her hands gripping your hip. to pull you against her. “did you have fun seeing how much i could take, hm?” her eyes were on your lips too. “did you wanted my attention that bad, baby?” you nodded, body aching. “well, you’ve got it.” she muttered before her lips crashed against yours, a needy moan leaving your mouth as you tugged on her hair and she pushed you against the wall, one of her thighs slotting in between your thighs.

“fuck, ellie…” you cried out when she ground you down on her leg, your clint deliciously rubbing against her jeans and dampening the clothing.

“you’re driving me insane.” she groaned, her skin itching to touch you, her bones aching to have you.

you moaned when the hand that was choking you harshly cupped your tit, the knot of the towel that covered becoming undone and exposing your breasts. her lips latched to your nipple as she pressed you harsher against the wall and the hand on her hip couldn’t help but move south, finding your core. she was needy, so horny that she felt she would die if she stopped touching you, making you let out those beautiful little sounds that you where whimpering.

“shit, and you’re so fucking wet…” you let out a scream when she plunged two fingers inside, instantly hitting your g spot. your back arched when she started to fuck you with them, you being so wet to made them slide easily in and out. “this what you wanted, huh? this is what my pretty girl needed, isn’t it? to be a little rough with her, fuck the little tease out of her, hm?”

“fuck, yes, ellie, yes…” you sobbed, moving against her hand, fucking her fingers deeper into your cunt. “wanted this for so long…” you whimpered in between the pants that left your lungs.

“yeah?” she teased you. “you poor thing. it’s okay baby, gonna make you feel so good…”

next thing you knew? she was on her knees, and you were moaning as her tongue lapped at your juices, lips sucking on your clit. your hand tangled on her hair, pulling for more. she hummed, eating you out with hunger. you were as sweet as she had imagined, and sounded just as beautiful too as she brought you closer and closer to your orgasm.

you were crashing your hips down against her mouth, her nose bumping against her clit over and over again. you were a mess as her fingers started to curve against your g spot, her tongue licking at your leaking hole. she hummed when you tugged on her hair, and you moaned when she pushed you down harder with her hand, eating you out like a starved woman. “fuck ellie, gonna cum…” you whimpered, so close to falling over the edge it was embarrassing.

“you gonna cum on my face, baby?” you nodded and she smirked. “that’s it, cum for me baby, atta girl.” and you did, ellie fucking you through it with her fingers as her lips sucked on your swollen and over sensitive clit, you were moaning her name over and over again as she licked everything you gave her, extending your orgasm and keeping you up when your legs wobbled. “you did so good for me… such a good girl…” you moaned at her praise, and tugged from her hair for more when she was back on her feet and kissing you, letting you taste yourself on her lips. “gonna keep being a good girl and help me make me feel good?” she inquired, and you nodded. “that’s my girl.” she smiled, and before you knew it, she was tugging from your hand towards her bedroom.

♡

a/n; enough smut or do we want more? 🤭

ellie williams masterlist! <3

xxx

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nikosaki · 8 months ago

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Hello there 👋, I hope you’re having a great day

I saw that you’re open for some requests, may I request some scenario/short fic for Fyodor Dostoevsky, in a story where Fyodor and Reader (female) are childhood friends, and they both got separated for some quite long time due to some family business reasons, because of that, Reader doesn’t recognize Fyodor anymore (she still remembers him, but she forgot how his face looks like). One day, they both meet again at the moment where Fyodor got captured by Ace (the white haired mafia executive from season 3 episode 4), and reader was currently working as his subordinate, I don’t know if you’re accepting some angst with happy ending, but if you don’t, then you’re allowed to decline this request, that’s all, thank you 🙏💖

"Come with me, my angel. I will sew your wings back where they belong"

Summary: You were but a flower in the wide open to him fo back in his childhood you were the only companion he had, now Fyodor meets you again but in hands of another man, will he truly resurect you or leave you as you be?

Genre: hurt to comfort (kindaof), romance Warnings:fem reader, suicide (implied for ace), slight manipulation, follows canon events of the episode, dialogues are different, not proofread, reader collapses because of overload information

A/N: this seemed so intresting :0

Fyodor remembers it all, from the day you had first met him in a fancy doll-like attire to the day he lost you.

He remembers everything.

✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦

"I get to choose the type of game we play" the white-haired man says a tint of arrogance splayed on his tone, ace thought he had everything in control from his subcordiates to the hostage infront of him. He had already debated he would win.

"Go ahead" the man replies back his thick russian accent hiding an enigma. You were simply Ace`s right hand but how tired you were from this mans arrogance as if he was the king or something.

"Hm, this man seems quite intelligent i wonder if he can beat Ace, i really do hope he does" you think to urself you always remained quiet and god had somehow accepted your request

"Name! go get a stash of playing cards" Aces harsh tone cuts your thoughts off as you slightly roll your eyes and leave to get the cards. The thing you didnt know was the purple-eyed sharp gaze you may have forgotten who he was but he didnt.

"Is she another of your subcordinate?" he asks, fake curiosity in his tone. "Why yes could you not see the collar around her neck? Such a pretty face should not go to waste!" Ace mocks not knowing you were behind the door gritting your teeth.

"Sir, i have brought the items" you break their conversation bending over to hand over the stash of items "Ah finally" Ace heaves in exaustaion as if hes the one who was made to fetch them, his hand snatching the deck of cards hastily.

You couldnt care any less about the game they were playing but you could only focus on the man infront of you, beautiful amethyst eyes dark bags under them and luscious raven like hair one would mistake them for the feathers of a real crow.

Where have you seen such soft hair before?...

"Name, this is Fyodor Dostoevsky" the woman you called mother told you introducing you to the boy infront of you "Well then we will leave you two in the library while we talk about important matters.

Just like that your parents left and you approached the sickly boy crouching down to the wooden floor. "Why do you look so sickly?" you ask the boy as he only glares at you one could say, a tired glare.

"Maybe because i am sick?"

With that you and the sickly boy had interacted more talking and talking for hours, Actually you didnt even care how many hours it had been past back then. The words he uttered made it seemed endless and his topics made you less bored.

Even for fyodor, he was piqued in you, though you may looked like a mindless puppet back then, you had a mind compared to a jungle filled with wild flowers, how etheral and terrifying was something so vast and wide.

“Dear, we must go now bid farewell now” your mother’s voice rang out from the door of the warm and cozy library. “Ah farewell, dostoevsky” you stand up pushing the dust off from your white skirt. “Please, call me fyodor” fyodor quietly replies to which you only smile

“Alright, fyodor”

The next couple of days, you remembered how you had met with this young Russian boy and spent much of your time with him, he was far more interesting than any books you have read or any jewels you inspected.

You remember sitting down under the shadows of oak trees talking about the world beyond this small area of russia.

“Do you believe in immortality?” He asked “Maybe, why” she answered to his question which held thousands of answers but he who asked remained silent.

You remained silent watching the men in front of you play deck cards, apparently it was a guessing game.

“Ah” fyodors voice caught you back to the game, he had guessed the last card to your shock but the one who was most shocked was Ace but before you could react he had smashed a wine bottle on the winners head, staining red wine all over his face.

All of this shocked you as you watched ace walk out angrily and just sighed.

“That was really smart of you, Dostoevsky.” Ah- the name you first called him, you had really forgotten have you? “Was it? Well I simply memorised all of the cards imprints layer flat on the table” he remarked nonchalantly. “Simply? That’s quite impressive in my eyes though” you answered back rubbing his ravenous feather like hair with a soft towel as all the other subordinates watched from afar. “Say, what is your ability?” you ask putting his ushnanka “Well my ability allows me to control time and ability” the man answered tilting his head towards you.

He lnsists it’s his ability only for you to kneel down next to his ear, away from the pipe attached to the ceiling

“You are a liar”

Your voice softly whispers in his ears but instead of him being shocked at your intellectual guess, the man can only smirk as he replies back. “Correct, моя дорогая мышка”

Your eyes dilate in shock, the name he called you…

You remember he used to call you this same exact pet name all the time but just because your memories from your past stays on the other side of the storm that doesn’t mean you can’t see through the clouds.

✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦

Anxiety casted over you as your eyes meet the disastrous scene unfold infront of you. The white haired man came back but at what cost? The cost of disbelieving in god, the thought brushes over you as you stare at Ace’s hanging body and the little boys corpse.

“Both of them are dead, моя любовь” a voice corrects behind you as you instantly turn around. You stare at the so man who had defeated the port mafia executive, such a man was capable of causing such destruction.

Even so your curiosity seeped through, “Wh- no what are you…?” Your voice could have make a croak when you felt his lip bitten fingers rise your chin towards his menacing eyes.

You could only stare at the man’s eyes, how can a man be so pretty yet cruel at the same time?

“My dear [name], do you not remember the boy you talked under the skies of Moscow city?” your eyes widen.

“Fyodor? Fyodor Dostoevsky?” This was too much for you, all of the memories appearing in your head like slideshows, your head was feeling dizzy but it was him! Your friend

And before you could say anything you felt your body collapse, with your head falling on his chest not that fyodor was surprised since it went as he planned

His hands pick you up and carries your dizzy form to the boat. After that you didn’t know what happened but somehow you had woken up in a cozy bed.

“Ah моя любовь, you are awake from your slumber I see.” Fyodors calm voice calls out, a much softer and less intimidating smile on his face.

You remain silent before getting up and inspecting his face. “It’s really you..” you try to reach out for his face but hesitate for a while but he says nothing before grabbing your hand.

“[name] I will wholeheartedly explain everything to you, but firstly would you care to join in my mission of redeeming the worlds pure form?” He takes your hand gently and brings it to his lips, looking at you adoringly.

“That means murder and violence am I right, Fyodor?” You ask still captivated by his beauty. “You are quite witty after all” he chuckles to himself

you move away your hand move closer to him before cupping his face and locking your forehead with his, which caught fyodor off guard.

“Yes, yes I will fedya. Anything to be back with you again but this time don’t leave me…please” “of course I won’t, моя дорогая мышка”

a/n: OH MG I AM SO SORRY ANON THIS TOOK SOO LONG

divider: @hyelitas

#sakira writes🥀#bungou stray dogs #Bsd fic #childhood memories #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky x reader #fyodor bsd #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd stuff #bsd x female reader #fyodor x reader #yandere fyodor #bsd fyodor

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lunarfleur · 1 year ago

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Official request: Boxer Bf!Miles with his partner (bf if you could) watching as Miles punches a bag or something and makes sure to keep Miles on a strict break schedule so he doesn’t get too tired from working out. Break times include kisses <3

Into The Ring ~ Earth 42! Miles Morales (Boxer au)

Summary: There was something about working off all your energy that calmed him. Any and all tension faded away, left only with who he was and his love for you.

Tagging: @juneberrie @sluggmuffin @kombuuuu @hiyaitssans @ivys-graveyard

Warnings:Slight mention of fighting, mention of blood, slight nudity but not really (he’s shirtless)

A/N: Reader is also a boxer. I’m very glad I got this request. Also…3 pieces in one day?? Hello??

This is x male reader!

You took a long swig of water, squeezing the bottle tightly. Sweat dripped down your skin. You watched the sight in front of you.

There was no one else around. Everyone else had already gone home for the night. But Miles? He was still going at it. He had been for an hour and a half.

The gym was how you met him, actually. When everyone else was tired and sweaty and getting ready to leave, he was always there. It was like he something to prove. Something kept him there for hours on end.

He used it as anger management. Miles had a lot to be angry about; his mother being overworked and not paid nearly enough, his father’s death, those jackass kids at school who think that, just because he seems tough, they can say whatever they want. It got to him. It really did.

It was a mesmerizing sight, though. The push and pull of his muscles, the was his smooth, bare skin glimmered under the light, the way his braids bounced as he moved. His mouth was parted slightly, dense and heavy breaths leaving with each punch. His ankles were taped. He was wearing his knee brace, too. Miles truly was beautiful.

You grabbed his shirt, which he had discarded the second people started to leave, and walked over. Your water bottle was still in your hand. Once you got close he stopped, taking out one Airpod to look at you. He panted and gasped.

You passed him the bottle. He took it quickly, taking a fast drink just to hand it back to you. You sighed. He never wanted to leave.

“Miles, honey, let’s go home.” You nodded at him.

“Couple more minutes, baby,” he replied, going back to the punching bag.

“Miles, if you don’t learn how to stop you’re gonna kill yourself.”

You tossed his shirt at his head. He brought his hand up, grabbing it. He stared at you. Miles knew you were right.

“‘Kay,” he sighed, slipping the shirt over his head.

“Don’t pout,” you groaned, grabbing him by the wrist to pull him closer to you. “You’re just gonna come back tomorrow.”

Miles wrapped his arm around your shoulder after slipping off his gloves. He kissed your temple. You didn’t mind the sweat, really. Or the smell.

“Guapo, you know I’d be fine if I kept going.”

“But you wouldn’t stop until you couldn’t move. That’s the problem.” It made you sad, really. He was just like his mother in that sense, always taking more than he has to. But Miles smiled nonetheless, chuckling.

“Mi hombre, always lookin’ out for me, huh?”

“If I didn’t, who would?”

This made Miles laugh. It was rare for it to happen in such a way-loud and comfortable. There was something about working off all your energy that calmed him. Any and all tension faded away, left only with who he was and his love for you.

You both walked over to the bench, packing up your things. You told him how attractive he was when he was beating the shit out of the bag. He told you everything you make him feel when you say such things. You told him what you wanted to do when you got back to his place-shower, change, and fall asleep to a movie after eating. He told you he wanted to same.

You two boys were the last to leave the building, walking hand-in-hand out the door. The first things you saw was the setting sun.

You stared at Miles while you walked. His skin, despite the fact that his sweat had dried, shined against the light of the sky. His face was relaxed. He looked at peace. He looked happy, and very pretty.

“Whatchu lookin’ at, baby?” He asked, smirking.

“You,” you responded, smirking right along with him.

“Oh yeah? See something you like?” His smirk grew with his words.

He let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

“Yeah, I do. You look so pretty like this.”

#earth 42 miles morales x you #earth 42 miles morales #earth 42 miles morales x reader #earth 42 miles fluff #earth 42 miles x you #atsv #across the spider verse #spiderman across the verse #miles morales #x male reader #boxer au #normal au

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saras-devotionals · 4 months ago

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Quiet Time 9/4

What am I feeling today?

I’m feeling pretty encouraged! I got so kind many messages yesterday celebrating my one year as a disciple and I just truly felt loved and cared for. Although, I’m not so much feeling anxious per se, I’m just feeling anticipatory about a few things. There’s a conversation I need to have with someone tonight that I’ve been putting off for months now. Also I just have campus things to do and then I have to prepare to share for communion as well and I’m just feeling a tad overwhelmed but I just keep giving it over to God in prayer.

Bible Plan: Rethinking Love and Romance

Another story that helps us understand true love comes from the book of Ruth. Some see this book as the Hebrew Bible’s famous love story. Girl gleans in a field. Boy sees girl gleaning. Girl uncovers boy’s feet (we’ll have to unpack that one later). Boy marries girl. A baby is born. The end. It’s like a Hallmark movie, right? But what if it’s not like a modern love story at all?

The story begins with an Israelite family in the land of Moab. Naomi and Elimelech have two sons who are married to Moabite women, one named Ruth and the other Orpah. Tragically, Naomi’s husband and two sons die. All Ruth and Orpah have left is their widowed mother-in-law, Naomi, who has nothing to give them. Naomi says she will return to her hometown, Bethlehem, and that Ruth and Orpah should stay in Moab with their own people (Ruth 1:11-13). Naomi has nothing more to give Ruth or Orpah that might “complete them” or satisfy them, and she warns against staying with her because doing so will surely bring more suffering.

Orpah agrees with Naomi’s logic, but Ruth expresses true love toward Naomi through a profound commitment, saying, “Where you go, I will go. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God” (Ruth 1:16). Ruth promises to stay by Naomi’s side and take care of her. As the story unfolds and other people see Ruth’s loyalty to Naomi, they call her actions “loyal love,” or in Hebrew, “khesed” (Ruth 3:10-11). Khesed is marked by deep feelings of affection shown through acts of generosity and forgiveness and a commitment to the other’s well-being. It is an outward expression of real love.

Ruth’s khesed is not conditional or based on what Naomi can do for her. Her khesed is a gift—an outpouring of her loving character.

Later in the story, Boaz can’t help but notice Ruth’s loyal love (Ruth 3:11). He blesses her, and she reciprocates with loving generosity, leading to his desire to marry her. The authors parallel his loving commitment to Ruth’s—Boaz embraces the way of loyal love toward their family.

What kind of love is this? Could love between a mother and daughter-in-law teach us what it means to love someone romantically? The Bible gives us a beautiful picture of true love even though it doesn’t fit into modern ideas about romantic love. Wouldn't the best, most intense and fulfilling romantic relationship a person could experience be one where each person in the relationship acts in ways that preserve, protect, and cause flourishing for the other? To give and not take? To consider the other’s needs above their own? To humbly sacrifice for the mutual blessing, shalom (Hebrew for “peace” or “wholeness”), and tov of the other?

In today’s video, explore the story of Ruth, a tale of love, loss, faithfulness, and redemption.

youtube

Ruth 1:16-18 NIV

“But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.”

I feel like these verses encapsulate the love that we are meant to be shown by Ruth. She was so incredibly loyal to Naomi and it was truly admirable! Through the video and explanation above you can see that the powerful act of love had a lasting impact and even lead to the birth of Jesus which is so incredible! God’s hand is in everything, His plan is unfolding exactly as it needs to and it’s just so fascinating how everything is connected in a bigger picture that we cannot even begin to fathom.

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dumbasslesbi2 · 2 months ago

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But I Thought You Had a Girlfriend? ~ Chapter 4 (Agatha x Rio Students AU)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Summary:

Agatha and Rio have been caught by Agatha's mother, Evanora. Will their relationship be able to survive this?

Notes:

Hey y'all I'm back! Just warning, the series is coming to an end! Only two more chapters about our beautiful couple but trust I'll still be writing lol. As always please tell me if there's any misspelling or grammatically incorrect stuff, I have dyslexia so sometimes I miss some stuff.

“AGATHA HARKNESS WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS” Evanora screamed, disgusted with the scene before her. Agatha and Rio awoke, scared by the yelling and looked at each other in horror. Rio knew about how cruel her mother was and how much she disapproved about Agatha being a lesbian. Instantly, Rio put herself in front of Agatha to protect her. “Mother?! What are you doing here?” Agatha asked, unsure of what to do. “I was able to get an earlier flight, now what is the meaning of this. Who is this girl?” Evanora told her sternly. “Um, this is Rio, s-she’s uh, she’s um-” “I’m her girlfriend” Rio interrupted Agatha, knowing that it may not be for the best that she told her mother but she didn’t care. She would protect Agatha at all costs. “I suspected as such. Well Rio, please leave my house” Evanora stated, moving to give Rio a path to leave. Rio looked back at Agatha and was met with a nod that she should leave. Rio got her belongings and left but not without looking at Agatha again to make sure she truly wanted her to leave. “It’s ok Rio” Agatha said, looking at her solemnly. Rio left the house but not without a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. She decided to sit in her car just in case of anything happening, just because they told her to leave didn’t mean she had to go home. “Now, Agatha. We talked about this, you have to stop this disease of your’s.” Evanora told her, closing the door. “Mother I-I can’t help it, it’s not a disease Mother. We can work around it.” Agatha pleaded, hoping her mother wouldn’t do what she thought she was going to do. “Agatha, we’ve talked about this, if my daughter can not be good then I have no daughter. Now tell me, what is that girl to you?” Evanora asked rhetorically. Agatha knew the answer her mother wanted but she couldn’t, there was nothing Rio was but her lover. “She’s my girlfriend,” Agatha stated, unable to look at her mother. “Just because she’s my girlfriend doesn’t mean I can’t be good. I can be good mother. I can be good” Agatha pleaded, tears in her eyes as she looked up at her mother. She was returned only with a cold stare. “As far as I am aware, I have no daughter. You have till the end of today and then I don’t want to ever see you in this house” Evanora stated, opening the door to leave. “NO! Mother please don’t do this” Agatha cried, pleading with her mother to not kick her out. “As far as I’m aware I am no longer your mother. I have no daughter now as far as I’m concerned” she stated, leaving the room. Agatha cried and cried until she was able to calm herself. She thought of calling Wanda but ended up getting a text from Rio.

Hey baby, everything all right? If you need to call I'm here for you <3

Uh actually yeah can I call you?

Agatha had tears forming in her eyes just from texting Rio. Her emotions were catching up with her again and she didn't know what to do. When she saw the call incoming she immediately picked up “Hi baby” Rio said in a soft tone, leaning back into her car seat. Agatha couldn't reply, all that came out were tears and muffled crying. Rio was heartbroken but also the most angered she had ever been in her life. She vowed that Agatha would never be left like this ever again and would do everything in her lower to help her. “Agatha stay there, open your window, I'm coming” Rio said, already opening her car door. “No-no. No please. No, Rio please don't. Not right now” Agatha pleaded into her phone. Rio wasn't sure what to do but she closed her door and stayed in her car. “Fine but only because you said not to” Rio said, hoping to cheer up Agatha. “T-thank you. I just- I- I don't know what to do Rio. My mom's kicking me out” she cried into the phone, cradling herself on her bed. “What?! What the fuck. Baby it's gonna be ok. I swear we'll figure this out ok. Agatha everything is going to be ok” Rio said trying to calm herself down as well. “I don't know what to do Rio, I have no where to go” she said, more tears forming in her eyes. “It'll be ok. Just- you'll stay with me ok” Rio said calmly as possible into her phone. “I can't do that to you Rio. I can't burden you-” “You're not a burden. You are never a burden” Rio interrupted Agatha sternly. “But Rio-” “No Agatha, no questions about it, you're staying at my place and then we'll figure all this out, ok?” Rio said, interrupting Agatha again. “Ok” Agatha said quietly. “I'm still outside, just bring all the stuff you can right now and we'll go to my place, ok?” Rio asked, trying to restrain all the anger she had towards Agatha's mother. “Yeah, ok, I'll be out in a hour probably. Have to pack some stuff and then I'll be out” Agatha told her quietly, sniffling into her phone. “That's fine baby, take your time” Rio said softly. After about an hour and a half, Agatha came out with a couple boxes and Rio helped her put everything in her car. Her mother didn't come out at all and if anything she was smart to do so or else Rio would have probably stabbed her.

The drive to Rio’s place was quiet but Agatha couldn't help but break down again. Rio pulled over and immediately started comforting her. “ It's ok baby, everything is going to be ok. You're ok” Rio said, hugging Agatha. She couldn't help but cry more and break down more when Rio comforted her. She's never shown this side of her to anyone and whenever she remotely showed this side to her mother, she was immediately punished. After about 30 minutes Agatha was finally able to calm down and get her breathing regulated. “Thank you, for uh all that” she told Rio, struggling to talk with her throat sore after all the crying. “Baby you don't have to thank me for all this, all that matters is that you're safe now” Rio said, cupping Agatha's face. “Still though, can we just get to your place?” Agatha asked, nuzzling into Rio's hand. “Yeah, we're close, just 3 more blocks” Rio said, putting her hand on Agatha's tigh. After about five minutes they made it to Rio’s family house. “Stay here for a minute, let me just talk to my grandma and I'll be back. I swear it'll be super quick” Rio told Agatha, pecking her cheek. She then got out of the car as fast as she could and opened the door. “Rio! What the hell, why are you acting crazy??” Her cousin questioned. “Not right now, where's abuelita?” Rio asked, rushing over to the stairs. “Up in her room watching her novelas, why?” Her cousin asked but before she could even finish her sentence, Rio was already running upstairs. “¡Abuela! ¡Necesito un favor!“ (Grandma! I need a favor) Rio yelled rushing into her grandmother's room. “¡Espera! ¡Espera! ¿Por qué estás así? ¿Qué pasó?” (Wait! Wait! Why are you like this, what happened?) her grandmother questioned, turning off the tv. “¿Recuerdas cuando te decía que mi novia es la que me ha estado ayudando en la escuela y que por eso no estoy libre los fines de semana? Bueno, ella necesita un lugar donde vivir... “ (Remember when I was saying that my girlfriend is the one who has been helping me in school and that's why I'm not free during the weekends? Well, she needs a place to live…) Rio asked awkwardly, unsure of how her grandmother would answer. “¿Por qué? ¿Qué pasó? ¿Por qué no tiene un lugar donde vivir? (Why? What happened, why doesn't she have a place to stay?) Her grandmother asked, completely taken aback from the question. “Su mamá la echó de casa, se enteró de que somos novias.” (Her mom kicked her out, she found out we're girlfriend's) Rio said nervously, hoping her grandmother would let Agatha stay. “Y ella ya estás aquí?” (And she's already here?) her grandmother asked, staring into Rio’s eyes. “ Sí, ella está esperando en mi carro” (Yes, she's waiting in my car) Rio told her truthfully. “Pues, ella lo puede vivir aquí pero van a compartir tu cuarto “ (well, she can stay here but you'll have to share your room) her grandmother told her with a smile. “No preocupes, eso no es un problema para nosotras” (don't worry, that's not a problem for us) Rio said happily, running downstairs and out of the house.

Rio told Agatha that everything was fine and that she could come in. They unloaded a lot of Agatha's things in Rio's room (especially since she didn't have that much stuff anyways). “I know it's not much but if you want a studio space, I turned the garage into a mini studio” Rio told her as she guided Agatha. “Rio, this is beautiful “ Agatha said in awe of all the hanging plants and the beautiful aesthetic of the home studio. “Thanks baby” Rio said, giving Agatha a kiss on the cheek. “Ew” said Rio's cousin, scaring the couple. “I came over to tell y'all dinner is ready” she said walking away from the couple. Rio groaned in embarrassment while Agatha was giggling as they walked back into the house. Dinner was a bit awkward to say the least. There was a bit of awkward silent until Rio's grandmother broke the silence. “So uh, girl?” Her grandmother questioned, not knowing Agatha's name. “Se llama Agatha abuelita” (Her name is Agatha grandma) said Rio. “Agatha, I hope you're enjoying your time here” Rio's grandmother said with a smile. “Oh yes, thank you for letting me stay here Miss Vidal. If you guys need any help around the house please let me know! I'm more than happier to help with anything while here.” Agatha said, smiling back at the old lady. “Thank god cause someone here hasn't been doing her chores” Rio's cousin said, glaring at Rio. “Hey! I do my chores!” Rio exclaimed, upset at being accused. “Uh huh, sure “ her cousin said with an eye rolls. “Niñas! Por favor! ¡Pórtense bien!” ( Girls! Please! Behave yourselves!) Rio's grandmother said, slamming on the table. “Lo siento abuelita” (sorry grandma) the two girls said in unison. Agatha couldn't help giggle a bit and Rio gave her a look. After dinner, Agatha washed the dishes which she in fact had to fight to do since Rio and Rio’s grandma didn't want her to do it but she didn't care. She wanted to help around the house. While she was finishing the dishes, Rio hugged her from behind since her cousin and grandma were upstairs. “Hi baby” Agatha said above a whisper. “Hi sweetheart” Rio said , resting her head on her shoulder. “You know you didn't have to do this and I'm not gonna hear the end of this from my grandma yeah?” Rio joked, squeezing one of Agatha's sides. “Yeah I know but I wanted to do the dishes, it's the least I could do” she said, giggling. “When you're done you wanna head to my room?” Rio asked, kissing her shoulder. “Yeah that sounds good” Agatha said, finishing drying the last dish. After a bit of cuddling in Rio’s bed and watching another horror film, Agatha couldn’t help but want to ask Rio a question but she didn’t know how to bring it up. “Hey Rio?” Agatha asked, saying fuck it and ask the question she’s been itching to ask. “Yeah baby?” Rio asked, pausing the movie. “Can I ask you a personal question, like super personal?” Agatha asked, biting her lip. “Yeah, of course. Ask away.” Rio told her, turning to face her. “Where are your parents?” Agatha asked, unsure of what answer she was going to get. “Oh uh, wow wasn’t expecting that” Rio said, looking down. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to! I didn’t mean to-” “No it’s okay, I should have told you earlier” Rio interrupted Agatha, knowing she would go on a rant of apologizing. “They uh, they died when I was thirteen” Rio said, solemnly looking at Agatha. “They died in a car crash when I was in middle school which is why I was new in highschool. That’s also why I was so quiet freshman year and didn’t really talk to anyone. Alice was the only one who opened up and became my friend so I never really came out of my shell I guess” Rio said, playing with Agatha’s fingers. She looked up and saw tears in Agatha’s eyes. “Agatha! What’s wrong!” Rio said, cupping her face. “If I knew earlier I would have talked to you. You were so alone and so hurt and I could have helped but I was no better than everyone else” Agatha said, sniffling. “Aw baby, it’s not your fault.

You didn’t know so don’t blame yourself. Plus we have each other now which is all that matters” Rio told her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Still though, I’m sorry Rio” Agatha said, hugging Rio and putting her head on her shoulder. “Thank you baby” Rio said, with tears forming in her eyes. They both leaned back and both started giggling with tears in their eyes. Rio said fuck it and kissed Agatha. Even though it was a wet kiss, it was a necessary kiss for the both of them. It showed them that they were both safe with each other and have each other no matter what. When they both detached from the kiss, Rio wiped away Agatha’s tears still flowing. “Baby I’m tired, is it ok if we go to bed?” Rio asked, rubbing Agatha’s arm. “Yeah, I’m tired too” Agatha told her, giggling a bit. As the two got ready and under the covers Rio couldn’t help herself. “Hey Agatha?” Rio asked, cuddling more into her. “I love you” Agatha said with a groan, knowing what Rio was going to do. She couldn’t help but genuinely laugh before saying “I love you too Agatha”

#agatha x rio #fanfic #lesbian #sapphic #agatha all along #agatha harkness #rio vidal #agathario #sapphic yearning #students au #fanfiction

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singlesablog · 9 months ago

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Nothing Ever Lasts Forever

“Everybody Wants to Rule the World” (1985) Tears for Fears Phonogram / Mercury Records (Written by Roland Orzabal, Ian Stanley, Chris Hughes) Highest U.S. Billboard Chart Position – No. 1 I would suggest that what makes a song truly memorable, rather than its intention or craft, is the special, unidentifiable magic that allows the listener to enter into the feeling of it. The Police could sing “De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da” in 1980, and by the end of the song, one knew what they meant, kind of. In pop music, “kind of” is good enough. Such is the moment of what is arguably Tears for Fears most enduring song, “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”. In an album full of big songs (Songs from the Big Chair), and portentous messages (“Shout”, “Mothers Talk”, “The Working Hour”) as well as a gigantic, bombastic love opera (“Head Over Heels”), it was the last effort to be recorded, the album being short one song (the final only 8 tracks), and inspired by two chords Roland Orzabal kept playing over and over during down studio moments. Paired with an idea of a song originally entitled “Everybody Wants to go to War”, spurred on by producer Chris Hughes (a major contributor to the sound and feeling of the record, a masterpiece of old fashioned layered studio sound), and introduced by a sparkling synthesizer coda devised by keyboardist Ian Stanley, the song was recorded in a week (the shortest of any they attempted), was not much loved by the two singers, and then indeed took over the world.

Tears for Fears where formed by Roland Orzabal (Roland Jaime Orzabal de la Quintana) and Curt Smith in Bath, Somerset, England in 1981, after deciding to leave their first new wave band, Graduate. They were barely 21 years old when their very first record, The Hurting, debuted in 1983. The record was an immediate success, with the single “Mad World” charting at No. 3 in the UK, and they were almost immediately very famous. The Hurting was never a record I personally warmed to, not being a hit in the US in its time, and rather overlong and same-y in its synth sound (although I appreciate that to many this is sacrilege, and that they will want me strung up). The general outlook and themes of the band’s two main performers, based on Arthur Janov’s primal therapy/primal scream, was extremely heavy-handed, if sincere, and weighed the album down. It is apropos that when they finally met Janov later in the 1980s they were disillusioned by the fact that he had “gone Hollywood” and that he asked them to help write a musical based on his theories for him.

Songs from the Big Chair was to be a continuation of the same themes of lost childhoods (the title taken from the book and television movie “Sybil”, starring Sally Field, and the big chair being the safe chair in therapy where she could let her multiple personalities appear and subsequently sort out her traumatic past), but rather organically the record moved away from pure synth sounds and into standard instrumentation. In fact, I had not appreciated how much of a guitar, bass, and drums record it is until renting the Classic Albums episode on the making of the record; it is indeed full of gigantic guitar solos, lonely sax, thundering drums, and on “Head Over Heels”, the piano (!) as the driving instrument. The synth work in it (mostly by Stanley) is beautiful and atmospheric, but the soul of the album is in the studio space commandeered by Chris Hughes, as well as the slow and methodical layering of sound that makes the record so special and successful.

Management, being nervous of the insular themes the two main band members, were committed to, begged for, a single, a “driving song”, something that would inspire the listener to roll down the car window and hum along, and perhaps Chris Hughes knew this when he pushed them to flesh out the song. According to the documentary it was one accident after another: Orzabal’s overly strong singing style naturally suggested that Curt Smith take the lead, which brought a wistfulness to it; the lyrics, cobbled together, were snatches of blurry ideas only tangentially related; the shuffle beat of the song, rather than being driving and ambitious like the rest of the album, was subtle and dreamlike; and the very throwaway nature of the track lead to a kind of gentle creativity. “Shout”, the first big single they recorded during those sessions, had set the tone of the record for Hughes, but it was “Everybody” that is perhaps the lasting achievement from the LP. With the droning synthesized voices in the back of the track, the synth sounds, wonderful guitar (yes, including a blazing solo), and the mysterious blending of their two voices, it immediately invokes “that” year when you hear it, perhaps even the entire decade, by not being exactly representative of the band’s sound and purpose. Wistful and ponderous, the song has endured. We all know that “Shout, shout, let it all out” is the real credo for the two of them, but “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”, like the proverbial tortoise, snuck up from behind their giant themes to deliver their message much more softly than either of the two very emotive singers could ever have intended.

Scenes from the video for "Everybody Wants to Rule the World", shot in Los Angeles, and directed by Nigel Dick, in 1985.

Don’t get me wrong—Songs from the Big Chair is indeed a masterpiece, each track one gem after another, and as a record, a very solid gestalt. Mostly it is a beautiful and mysterious album, one I have never tired of, and entirely deserving of its fame. Sadly, the relentless touring of the album (and their relative very young ages) ruined the relationship for Roland and Curt, and after the long, overblown production for the follow up LP The Seeds of Love (which took three long years to record, so obviously difficult it was to follow Big Chair) that they split up in 1991, and remained estranged for nearly 10 years, with Roland recording for the band alone. With their dour, pouty looks and fisherman’s sweaters, it is not clear that either band member ever actually wanted to rule over anything, but fame obviously had different plans for them. Considering the single today, not understanding exactly what “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” alludes to has ironically made the song even more persistent as a statement; beyond the gentle suggestions of the music, one cannot help but think of it as either a forecast of the greed of its era, or perhaps as the dream of a dream for the 1980s.

However, Tears for Fears' most successful single is still miraculously casting that very same spell it did in 1985. A mood will always be a mood. ***

Chris Hughes, instrumental as producer for the sound of Big Chair, co-wrote “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”. He began his career as the drummer for Adam and the Ants, and produced the band’s very influential Kings of the Wild Frontier album in 1980. He was the producer of both The Hurting and Songs from the Big Chair, and co-produced Peter Gabriel’s “Red Rain” from the album So.

Roland Orzabal and Curt Smith are both 62 years old.

Producer Chris Hughes is 70.

Ian Stanley (keyboardist) is 67. He was unhappy with the direction of Tears for Fears’ The Seeds of Love (1989), which he considered lightweight by comparison, and split from the band, eventually working with many artists, including Howard Jones on that famously heavyweight album Cross That Line (1989), and which produced his comeback single “Everlasting Love” (No. 12 in the US).

Roland and Curt reunited in 2001 and recorded tracks for Everyone Loves a Happy Ending, promising a follow-up.

Eighteen years later, in 2023, The Tipping Point was released to near universal praise and chart success, their most personal and cohesive record as a duo since Songs from the Big Chair. The scream was back, more plaintive than primal, and much more suited to their age and experience.

#80s music #tears for fears #music history #pop #synthpop #new wave

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crescenthistory · 2 days ago

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Well... I am actually ploting a Walburga/Euphemia story... anddd felt like sharing some headcanons I have about her?

1. I hc her as an Ollivander. Since it's said James a pureblood and I pretty much like to believe Effie was from the Sacred 28

2. The hc of "Slytherin Euphemia" is fun and, truly, I love it. But- Ravenclaw Euphemia. For me she's a Ravenclaw. That's it. Just Effie being a Ravenclaw, house whose "traits" are curiosity, intelligence and creativity? THAT'S HER.

3. Her parents were... something. Not totally prejudiced like the Black's, but not "blood traitors" like the Potter's. So when Euphemia get together with Fleamont they weren't really happy about the social status/reputation but happy for their daughter. Mr. and Mrs. Ollivander died when Effie was on her 20's.

4. She and Walburga befriended in the end of their first year at Hogwarts, thanks to a project on a class both attended. They, somehow, warmed up to each other pretty quickly.

5. Euphemia's mother was from a pureblood family in Spain, so Effie is half-spanish and half-european.

6. She and Fleamont were friends since third year because they both wanted the same book in the library and started to hang out from this day.

7. James' absolute love from Quidditch comes from her, though Monty enjoys it, too. She played as seeker and was good at it.

8. Waleffie (or badlove, maybe?) dated in sixth year. They got together less than a month after the school year started, and broke up the night before the school year ended, in bad terms.

9. It was Walburga who confessed first, but Euphemia who made the first move. The reason she told her feelings was because she heard Irma and Pollux planning on marrying her with Orion, and something in her wanted to at least "be Effie's" before it happened. Still, the confession was an accident.

10. This leads to their break up, too. Because Euphemia discovered Walburga would marry Orion anyway, and, after her girlfriend denying being saved from this, they had a fight. A big fight. During the summer, Walburga was married to Orion and Effie get closer with Monty.

11. They never talked after the break up. That's it. Until Walburga dared to appear in front of her home to bring Sirius and Regulus after the younger Black brother ran away, too. And, just like the last time they talked decades ago, they argued.

12. Fleamont/Euphemia only happened after Hogwarts, when they were 19, almost 20. Monty has had a crush on her since their fifth year, but never dared to act on it. Speacially after learning about her and Walburga's relationship. Effie made the first move, again.

13. In the end, Euphemia fell in love twice, even though most people think she did once. One time for a broken girl who didn't want to be saved and now she can't even recognize anymore, and the other for a lovely man who she stayed in full of love marriage until her last breath.

And, I know they were a lot of hc, but I love Euphemia and love to think about her. Like, birth family? House while on Hogwarts? Relationship with Monty and others? So much to think. Just like when it's about the Valkyries.

— 💜;

this got lost in my inbox, but i'm so glad to have re-discovered it !! i adore your take on euphemia 🤲🤲

i have very little to add onto this, i want it to just be shared with the masses because it's very lovely<33 i 100%% agree with your general hcs about effie. i stand by ravenclaw!euphemia until the day i die – she is the definition of witty, energetic and creative – and her as an ollivander and seeker makes so much sense!

your plotline for her and walburga is so heartbreakingly beautiful and realistic</33

i'm a multishipper through and through so i enjoy both euphemia/walburga and euphemia/fleamont lmao so this is perfect

#carina chats #💜#euphemia potter #euphemia #effie #euphemia headcanon #euphemia hc #though i myself will never be able to read or explore waleffie too heavily because my heart can't handle that

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stewpid-soup · 2 months ago

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okay, i just watched The Substance, a psychological horror/thriller + body horror film I HIGHLY recommend - so many spoilers!!

for anyone who doesn’t want spoilers, have a good rest of ur day and take care of yourselves <33

take a pic of my cat Luna for your troubles :3

OKAY SO THIS FUCKING FILM- I COULD LITERALLY GO ON ABT THIS FOR HOURS

THE WAY IT WAS SUCH A MASTERPIECE IN WAYS I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!!!

Like, it’s rare I watch a movie and think “yeah, i have absolutely zero complaints and i would watch this over and over until it’s seared into my brain” — BUT THIS HIT EVERY MARK!!

THE GORE & BODY HORROR - INFINITY/10 BECAUSE OH MY GOD???? ME AND MY MOM WERE JUST OVERJOYED ABT THE GORE AND MY DAD JUST COULDNT HANDLE IT- HE WAS PHYSICALLY CRINGING BC OF IT - IS IT THE MOST REALISTIC SHIT? OBVIOUSLY NOT (i would be more concerned if they perfected gore to look realistic ngl), BUT THE SHEER AMOUNT OF IT AND THE SOUNDS AND THE WAY YOU SEE IT AND THINK “oh god, that would fucking hurt” THE SHIT THAT MAKES YOU CRINGE AND SHIVER AT THE THOUGHT OF!

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY - 10/10 - THE CUTSCENES, THE LIGHTING, THE WAY IT REALLY SHOVES THINGS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE AND SAYS “Look at this! Look at the horrifying things this woman is doing to feel like she is enough! See in 4K how she destroys her own body to keep the only thing she knows gives her worth, the only thing that makes people find her worth talking to— her body!” My mother suffers from chronic migraines so yes, the amount of flashing lights in it can be a bit jarring (so warning for anyone who is prone to seizures or is light sensitive). But to me it doesn’t feel like it’s too overdone, like many horror films tend to do with flashing lights— it makes sense why those sequences are there, it makes sense why they choose the lighting, to me: it makes sense and seems to align with the story

THE ACTING - DEMI MOORE (Actress who plays Elizabeth Sparkle) FUCKING POPPED OFF WITH THIS?!!??? AND MARGARET QUALLEY (Actress who plays Sue)!!! GOD, THE WAY I COULD FEEL THE RAGE WHEN SUE WAS CHASING ELIZABETH AROUND THE HOUSE! THE WAY ALL REASON WAS THROWN OUT THE WINDOW AND ALL SHE WANTED WAS TO TEAR HER OLD SELF APART BECAUSE IT’S EVERYTHING SHE LOATHES! THE WAY IT’S INGRAINED IN HER THAT SHE IS ONLY DESERVING OF BEING ALIVE BECAUSE SHE’S BEAUTIFUL! AND ELIZABETH— GOD, THE WAY I MY HEART WRENCHED WHEN SHE LOOKED IN THE MIRROR WHEN PREPPING FOR HER DATE WITH FRED! THE GOING BACK AND FORTH, THE ANGER AND FRUSTRATION AND SENSE OF DOOM BECAUSE SHE ISN’T THE “BETTER VERSION OF HERSELF”!! THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT THE BILLBOARD OUTSIDE HER WINDOW, THE WAY SHE MOCKED SUE’S INTERVIEW, THE SHAME SHE FELT FOR HER BODY BEFORE SHE USED THE SUBSTANCE— AND EVEN BY THE END OF THE FILM, IT NEVER WENT AWAY! IT WASN’T FIXED, SHE STILL HATED HERSELF. BUT SHE REALIZED TOO LATE THAT SHE RUINED NOT JUST HER BODY BUT HER QUALITY OF LIFE BY THE END! THAT SHE WAS LETTING THE NEED TO FIT THESE IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS CONTROL HER LIFE! OH MY GOD AND DENNIS QUAID (Harvey’s actor - the guy who fired Elizabeth and hired Sue)?!? LITERALLY JUST PLAYS THE “PIECE OF SHIT” PERSONA SO PERFECTLY!! THE WAY HIS CHARACTER IS SO DISGUSTING- AND NOT JUST BEHAVIOR WISE! THE FACT HE DOESNT WASH HIS HANDS AFTER THE BATHROOM OR THE FACT HE EATS AS LOUDLY AND MESSILY AS POSSIBLE WHILE FIRING SOMEONE, THE NONSTOP SMOKING — BUT ALSO HIS MISOGYNISTIC JABS, THE WAY HE ONLY WANTED TO HIRE A NEW, YOUNGER WOMAN BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THAT ELIZABETH LOST HER “SEX APPEAL” AND ISN’T SOMETHING THAT FITS THE MALE GAZE!! HIS LAUGH IRKS ME IN A WAY I CAN’T DESCRIBE! IT WAS FANTASTIC!!

THE PLOT OVERALL & THE MORAL(S) OF THE STORY - INFINITY/10 — LORD I AM TOO TIRED TO TYPE ALL OF THIS BUT FUCK MAN, IT REALLY REALLY HIT ME. Especially after the elections, knowing that our fucking president looks at women and says “your body, my choice”, this really hit hard for me. The way that the body horror truly encapsulates just how horrific the reality is for women who are popular in the media- the things they feel like they have to do to survive in such a toxic and disgusting environment! Women have been told that all their worth is dependent on their bodies, their beauty- but The Substance truly shows just how much that shit can affect us, shows how much it can hurt your mental health- which will, in turn, affect your physical health!

god, this movie truly was a masterpiece and i highly recommend it to anyone who likes psychological thrillers/horrors & can handle watching body horror! i’m fucking exhausted, and i’ve had such a shitty week- and while this doesn’t exactly give me any hope for our future, it does show that we aren’t alone in our struggles. even the people we admire, whether it’s an actor or a content creator in general, struggle with accepting their flaws and not letting society determine their worth based on such shallow and superficial things.

maybe my ramble is a bit silly and a bit all over the place, so i’m sorry for that, again i’m fucking exhausted— but i had to post abt this

AND I NEED TO POST ABT THE GAME MOUTHWASHING SOON BC THE HYPERFIXATIONS ARE SO REAL!!

But anyways, if anyone read this far, thank you and have a wonderful rest of your day <3

#the substance #the substance movie #the substance 2024 #soupy thoughts #soup rambles #tw body horror mention #tw for descriptions of gore #love you guys #take care <3

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remembertheplunge · 4 months ago

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A TJSK Guide Book

4/12/2017

The following are some notes from my 4/5/2017 TJSK Guide journal. I’m including a phot of it’s cover in the following blog

The homeless encounter defined: soft, incomplete, obscure, slightly chilling, beautiful.

4/12/2017 7:55pm Starbucks Coffee House

His name was Mike . He was standing on the sidewalk outside Brenda Club Parking lot He was a 6’4” tall blonde. Blue eyes. He had just the clothes on his back.

I took him to Preservation Coffee downtown.Then, we had Round Table Pizza in front of my house. Mike was very pleasant. He was a bit red faced and out there except when he said that he saw a zebra coming. We were sitting outside Preservation Coffee. I turned, and, sure enough two people on horseback leading a young Zebra!

I told my friend who was a clerk at a local gym I was a member of about my encounter with Mike. She was not pleased. She said “be careful”. She thinks she has met and talked with Mike before. He’s been on the street for years, estranged from his mother. He’ into drugs, suffers from paranoia and is a thief. But the man she was talking about was in his 40’s. Mike is in his late 20’s to early 30’s.

I gave him a TJSK bag by the parking garage. Later, at the house, I gave him Troy’s back pack and an old tote green suit case. He was delighted.

The gym clerk re: the homeless “They are unstable. You never know when they could snap.” She kind of ruined my helping high. But, despite her “fearingism”, Mike was a kind, nice man who was extremely wary of me. He still is. He insisted on staying at the Salvation Army shelter after I said that he could stay at my house

My money runs low. I promised Mike a ride to Sacramento Friday and clothes buying tomorrow. Better delay. I gave hime $20, the same $20 I would have spent on the movie “Frank” (I saw it for the first time yesterday.) Mike and I “became” the movie.

So, let it ride.

End of entry

Notes: 9/22/2024

This is the same Mike that I blogged about recently in regard to why the Zebra became the symbol of my homeless encounters.

This entry fleshes out my experience with Mike more fully. Troy was a homeless man who had stayed at my house for 3 days just prior to my meetin Mike.. After I bought Troy a phone, he blasted out of my car port on his bike never to return. He left all of his possessions behind. So, I gave some of them to Mike. The clerk at the gym provides a good example of the push back I would get from some “housed” people. I like how I called this “fearingism”. Hiding behind their fear, they could not know the healing that comes to you in a homeless encounter.

TJSK was a trader Joe Survival Kit bag. I would put food, socks, and toiletries in a Trader Joe bag and pass them out to the homeless.

Brenda Club was a gym that I belonged to. The Clerk in the entry above worked at another gym I was a member of row at the time.

I was low on money much of the time that I was working with the homeless. It left me feeling more connected with them.

I googled the movie “Frank” but can't seem to find it. I have no recollection of what it was about. But. Truly, my experience with Mike “was” a movie!

#journaling #journal #writing #homeless work #homelessness #4/12/2017

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changbinsnmb1simp · 2 years ago

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My thoughts on the ZB1 lineup.

Not proof read.

So while I don't HATE it, it's not the greatest. All the boys in lineup besides two are Korean. They dont even have a Japanese member. Keita and Jay were robbed fr but anyways. Here are my thoughts on the members, and just what I have to say about the group.

lets see if yall can tell who I'm probably gonna ult just by reading this lol.

P01 - Zhanghao: Honestly, ever since the 3rd elimination I was rooting for him to take over shanbin's spot just once. I thought it would be funny, iconic, and legendary if he did it. One thing I didn't expect was for it to happen in the finale. HOLY CRAP i was shocked. The first ever non Korean to win 1st place in an Mnet survival show, and one of the only few who in survival shows in general (from what I have seen anyways). He caught my eyes from he start, mainly because of his adorable ears that stick out. he wears them proudly and i love him for that. truly an icon. He doesn't suit Korean beauty standards, he was the nugu center, he had no prior fanbase, and he worked himself up from the bottom to the top. I am SO excited to hear his voice shine be itself in a solo song, and standout amongst the rest of the voices in ZB1 (I was bouta call them bep1er no joke). Charisma Zhanghao!!

P02 - Shanbin: I mean we all new he was debuting. He is the Korean center, hes been popular since day one, he is extreamly loveable, talented, FINE oh my gawsh (go look at the recent photoshoot he did omfg sir) He did a great job maintaining his 1st place spot until the end, and I salute to him forbeing able to hold it. I can already see it. The 5th gen IT boy! Or prince. Idk there are like 3 different titles he could have. He could also be the 5th gen ace or visual. Which one do Y'all think?

P03 - Matthew: I have been rooting for matthew since day one. As soon as i saw there was a Canadian on the show I jumped (as I am also Canadian lol). It was my lifes mission to make sure he debuted. After Haruto (my original 1 pick), I knew I was switching to Matthew and Jay ( I have been supporting Jay since 2019 it only made sense for me to continue so I voted them on seperate devices). Matthew has always just been there to make my day. Just looking at him makes me smile. I am so happy we managed to get him back up higher i the top 9. He was shocked when he heard his name, and so was I. I cried happy tears with his sister lol. I like spammed her in instagram congratulating her. it was an emotional 10 minutes. DESERVED MATTHEW SEOK

P04 - Ricky: I was not expecting to see him sky rocket that high. When I first heard his name I was like "His one pick was that strong!?". I didn't see many people voting for him online other than a small group on a discord server I am on. Don't get me wrong he was in my top 9 but I really didn't expect his fandom to come through at all. I am so proud of him, and so happy he ranked as high as he did. He truly deserved it.

P05 - Gunwook: While I was expecting him to debut, I didn't hink he would ran so high. I was expecting maybe between 7-9th area especially because he has never been above rank 9 before, but his 1 pick came in clutch. I know he has had a solid fanbase since the beginning of the shw, I just thought other people would make it in front of him? I almost cried when I saw he was called. I was like "Holy shit he actually made it!?!?!". Proud mother moment fr.

P06 - Taerae: to say I was shocked. I mean 3 days before he was 11th place!? I was not expecting his 1 pik to sky rocket THAT MUCH. I mean deserved! ZB1's highnote boi!! I love his vocal tone, and though he wasn't in my top 9 he was very close to it. He was like my 10th/11th pick I can't remember anymore, all I know is i am sad none of his other wakeone boys made it in the group with him and i really hope he adapts fast. He isn't as close with a few of the members from what i know but i am sure he will warm up. CONGRATS TAERAEEEE.

P07 - Gyuvin: Tbh, he didn't catch my eyes. I didn't hate him, I actually thought he was really cute and funny, I just though other people were a bit better than him. That was a while ago though. Over the past 3 weeks, Gyuvin grew on me a lot. While he may not be the most rounded, he is def talented and def deserved a spot in ZB1! I am very proud of him, and I as quite shocked considering he has dropped to 16th before. I didn't have much hope in his 1 pick, but I was pleasently surprised. SLAY GYUVIN!!!!!

P08 - Jiwoong: I knew he was going to debut, I just didn't know at what rank. He has always been one of my picks, ever since i first saw he was going to be on boys planet. I have watched his past dramas, and heard much good stuff about him. I am vry happy a BL actor has made it in the group, just because it can open so many oppertunities for zb1 in the western audience and really just any audience, jiwoong will also soon be staring in a new drama I believe so look out for them! I really cherish Jiwoong. I think he is very talented. The groups hidden all rounder if you would. I can see him or ZHanghao being an amazing leader, but I thik I would perfer Jiwoong be leader.

P09 - Yujin: Just like Gyuvin, he was kinda just there for me throughout the show, but I am sure as he gets more screen time and we get to see the real him, he will grow on me more. I have never at any point ever hated any of the trainees. they are all sweet to me in their own ways, and some more than others. I am very proud of Yujin, and in my op he isn't too young to debut. I could argue that here for hours but I would rather just leave it at this and if you are curious to as why I think that just ask me in the comments. Also, seeing Yujin and Jiwoong harmonize the other day...man... that kid has a voice, hes just a teenager lol, so ofc his voice is gonna crack and change and sound weird at times. I think he deserved this spot a lot tbh, he is a great maknae for the group!

SO overall, I do really like this lineup. I am def going to be ulting this group, I know that for sure. 6/9 of my picks made it (Matthew, SHanbin, Zhanghao, Jiwoong, Gunwook, ricky)

extra; positions I think will be given toeach member.

Zhanghao - Leader, lead vocal, center

Shanbin - FOTG, main vocal, main dancer

Matthew - vocalist, sub rapper,

Ricky - Sub vocal, rapper, main dancer

Gunwook - Main rapper, vocalist

Taerae - main vocal, prince of the group (i made that up but eh)

Gyuvin - lead dancer, lead rapper, visual

Jiwoong - leader 2, rapper, sub vocal

Yujin - Maknae, rapper, main dancer

keep in mind though, since this is 5th gen, they may just discard the whole "position" thing and have them all do a bit of everything considering they all have very unique voices (especially Hao, Taerae, and Jiwoong. Somewhat shanbin) but if we are following your usual 4th gen 9 member group structure, i think these would be the positions.

now... line distribution... well.

Most to least:

Shanbin 30+ seconds

Taerae (he will have a lot of adlibs) 17-20 secs of acual lines +10 for adlibs

Zhanghao 24-27 seconds

Gunwook 20-23 seconds

Matthew/Jiwoong (back and fourth it depends) 15-17 seconds

Gyuvin/Yujin (same with Jiwoong and Matthew) 14-16 seconds

Ricky (I just have that really good feeling hes the Xiaotng of the group) anywhere between 8-17 seconds (hes's mostly last cuz he will vary)

#zb1 #boys planet #bp999 #zerobaseone #sung hanbin #zhang hao #kim jiwoong #seok matthew #park gunwook #han yujin #kim gyuvin #ricky boys planet #kim taerae #debut zb1

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weclassybouquetfun · 2 years ago

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THE FLASH has arrived after being a tad delayed.

But what's 5 years and 3 months amongst friends.

Congrats to Andrés "Andy" Muschietti

for getting this film across the finishing line. A s though there's reportedly a sequel script in play and Muschietti said that he would dream of replacing Ezra Miller in a subsequent film his assurance may be moot as THE FLASH signals the end of the DCEU while BLUE BEETLE will usher in the DC Universe under James Gunn.

But good news for Muschietti; he had been tapped to direct BATMAN: THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD.

No, not this cartoon beauty

The live-action adaptation of the Grant Morrison run.

For me, THE FLASH is the perfect swan song for the DCEU. Go out in style, Barry!

SPOILERS FOR THE FLASH (despite everyone and their grandmas posting spoilers all across social media to either trash the F/X or to spite an Ezra Miller fronted project). Yes, I have made hating spoilers a large part of my personality.

THE GOOD

-Ezra Miller was a delight. I loved the dual iterations of Barry. As current day Bruce says their scars (maybe he said traumas) are what made them. Of course a Barry who was raised by his parents ends up with a different personality than a Barry who was scarred by his mother's murder and father's incarceration. He had to grow up fast yet remained socially stunted as he was consumed with getting justice for his father. I think it would get tiresome real quick if the film were just quirky/awkward Barry. We got grounded Barry and that other side.

-It was a nice touch when he does the messaging to the nurse that she should seek professional help after such a jarring event but the JL themselves haven't figured that out for themselves yet.

-I don't believe I have ever read a Flash standalone so maybe all of these themes were covered in his issues but there were certainly strains of Booster Gold Vol. 2 and Flashpoint in this. Alt!Barry repeatedly turning back time to try to save Supergirl and Batman and failing was exactly like Booster Gold trying to save Barbara Gordon from being shot and paralyzed by the Joker. Each time she would still get shot and Booster himself would be pulverized by the Joker Gang until Rip Hunter stopped him and let him know that event was a fixed point that couldn't be changed. It had to happen.

And Flashpoint where Barry wakes up to a new universe and tries to get back to the standard timeline but instead ends up and remains in a new universe similar but different from his own.

Which leads to -

-Batmans!!! I still don't know what makes a good Batman, but I do know what makes a good Bruce Wayne and Val Kilmer and Ben Affleck is that for me so I delighted in seeing him again. So fantastic that all these years later Michael Keaton gets his swan song.

As Barry tells Bruce things change across multiverses but there are constants such as Bruce having a Alfred as it is fated. But there is also, seemingly, the constant that Bruce is defined by being Batman. In THE DARK KNIGHT RISES he doesn't return to Bruce Wayne but instead ducks out of society until Gotham is truly threatened and only bows out when he is assured that Gotham is in good hands. In THE FLASH Bruce cleans up Gotham and retreats to a hermetic existence until Barry coaxes him out. He dies happily in battle as Batman, a better death than just dying as the pedestrian Bruce Wayne.

And as I love reaching back to the past and closing circles seeing George Clooney as Bruce was amazing.

Talk about reaching back-

-I LOVED THE REIMAGING OF CHRISTOPHER REEVES' SUPERMAN! I bow down to poorly rendered CGI G.O.A.T Superman.

This is the man who said, "I think I was the right actor for the part at the time I played it, but I think the role is larger than any particular actor and should be reinterpreted from generation to generation."

How fitting that so many reinterpretations were presented, including the payoff of the Eric Stoltz BACK TO THE FUTURE jokes.

Just as Stoltz was the Marty McFly that never really was, we got Nic Cage's near Superman reference!!

He exists in the multiverse!

and yeah, we saw other Flashes but who cares when there is Supermen...and Helen Slater's Supergirl!

Another trip through the multiverse was done courtesy of TITANS where Gar

youtube

-The humour wasn't overkill. Loved how they did the slow reveal of Bruce being tied to the Lasso of Truth. It seemed OOC for him to be bashful around Diana but I went with it, but no need; he was just lassoed. I hope people caught him chastising himself for not donating his wealth to help the poor.

-Loved Sasha Calle's Kara. Would have loved to see more of her.

-Barry's stakes only work if the audience cares and how much did I love Maribel Verdú as Nora Allen. It would not have worked if we couldn't feel the depth of Barry's loss. Verdú was so loving and vibrant that my heart ached that Barry couldn't save her.

Verdú, Temeura Morrison (who appears), Jesse L. Martin of TV's THE FLASH and these hotties are the best parents in the DCEU.

-Nice seeing Muschietti's pal and MAMA lead Nikolaj Coster-Waldau play a rando who has his pizza snagged by Barry and Muschietti himself playing a man who gets his hot dog snatched by Barry.

-Speaking of dogs that end credits with the therapy dog in free fall was a perfect clincher to the prior mad scene with the babies in the forefront. And for those bashing the egregiously fake babies in that scene I think it would have created anxiety for plenty of people if they CGI'd actual babies. The comedic element of such lunacy works because they're so fake looking.

THE BAD

-Kiersey Clemons getting short-shrift.

If there isn't a sequel it's very disappointing how little she has to do. I would have loved to see their friendship flourish.

Also, does this film retcon the deleted scene which was reinstated in the Snyder cut of JUSTICE LEAGUE?

Seemingly, no as she says she feels like she has seen Barry lately and he cagily denies it, but it's not as if Iris had a head injury or was knocked out during that scene. How can you not remember someone saving your life? Unless the implication is that Barry was moving so fast that she only got a glimpse of him, which...doubtful.

-Which brings me to my second issue..

THE REST

-The issue with the Flash as a standalone is that is really serves to showcase Batman and to a lesser extent Supergirl. They Captain America: Civil War'red the film!

But maybe that's just because as a character Barry isn't that compelling. His #1 enemy is just a reverse of himself. Barry is a hero but also an unwitting agent of chaos as his defining trait is not the speed force but upending the universe in a quest to save his mother,

so maybe there isn't enough meat on the bone so to speak character-wise to delve deeper but if they could do it with Aquaman then Barry deserved a deeper exploration.

-I don't think we needed the angle that Barry was at the scene of Zod's attack and he has kicks himself over not being able to save the kid's dad. He has enough of a complex.

-This could very well be because I have an unreasonable dislike of Ron Livingston but what a downgrade from Billy Crudup (who was too busy with AppleTV+'s THE MORNING SHOW to return).

Crudup's scenes in JL were infinitely more effective than anything Livingston eked out in this.

Just as Crudup had a minor role in JUSTICE LEAGUE, but made a big impression, Luke Brandon Field appeared in one ep of AMC+'s wonderful INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE but I clocked him immediately in his small role as a criminal Bruce takes down.

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ncytiri · 2 years ago

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10 characters tag!

10 favorite characters from 10 different fandoms, tagged by @p-paradoxa, thank u gav!!!

finn (star wars) - i mean what more can i say about finn that hasn't already been said. truly one of my favorite characters ever, even with all the wasted potential he had, john's performance was just so great to watch and really made finn THE shining star of the sequel trilogy

neytiri (avatar) - my @'s namesake, a defining character in my bisexual awakening, mother to MANY! i absolutely adore neytiri and all of the parts that make her such a beautiful, broken, hopeful character <3

samwise gamgee (lotr) - i can't think about sam without wanting to cry. i see so much of myself in him but also he is the ideal friend!! loyal to no end, kindhearted, strong, samwise is just so beloved to me

essun (the broken earth trilogy) - it's been a while since i read the trilogy but i remember essun being such a wonderfully written but depressing character, from her childhood to her as an adult and so on. she has stuck with me ever since i finished that series a few years ago and i think about her so often 😭

gordo stevens (for all mankind) - MALEWIFE EXTRAORDINAIRE! i mean. yes he wasn't faithful in the 60s but my god was that man in love with tracy... gordo is such a funny guy but everything about him is SO sad... s2 gordo especially, the time skip showing how life has treated him but how he would still go to any lengths to get tracy back :(

jonas kahnwald (dark) - JONAS :(((((((((

shiv roy (succession) - always having to work 100x harder than all the men around her and STILL getting mocked and othered by them just to get ahead of her... shiv roy (and sarah snook) you will always be famous!!

hinata shoyo (haikyuu!!) - my sweet lil volleyball loving angel... he means the world to me...

kirsten raymonde (station eleven) - i need to rewatch to refresh why i love kirsten but something abt her always being so hopeful and trusting but also wary of ppl but full of love for theater as that is the one thing keeping her connected to her old life and jeevan and frank 😭 also her style is so cute and quirky i love it sm

river ward (cyberpunk 2077) - i could rant and rant abt the hate river gets but that is not the point of this tag game lol. for as little as we get of river in the whole game, he became a highlight for me during my first playthrough and i rly loved how complicated of a character he was <3 plus robbie daymond being his VA was another bonus 🤭

i gotta tag 10 other people but i feel like i have tagged too many ppl recently and i dont wanna be annoying so if you see this and also wanna do it, tag me!! <3

#oh man this was so fun but sooooo hard... i definitely have so many other fave characters i could have used but im honestly rly happy #with this list and the variety of characters :')#also apologies if none of my reasonings make sense i was doing those at like 2am SFSDKFKLS #about me #tag games

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blazingtheway · 1 month ago

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Dream A Little Dream Of Me - Story 22 - Together - Part 3

Continued from Part 2 (Here)

(Part 1 Here)

∞ Embry Call ∞

Her touch didn’t feel like any other I’d gotten from her… or did it? I flashed back to that moment in my mother’s kitchen. When she put her hand on my shoulder just as I was about to fall apart. Her arms around me now were keeping me from flying apart into a million pieces. Even now… when I knew she was filled with so much pain, possibly anger too… shame… how deeply her private world had been violated; she was holding me together.

This was why I could only ever be a moment in Leah Clearwater’s life.

We had spent so much time listing our commonalities we had forgotten another important part. The differences. When things got hard… I shut down… Leah rallied every ounce of strength she had. I had almost lost my mother's house… Leah rescued it, single-handedly in a week while I fought back tears at her table next to a stack of papers that had me completely defeated.

No… I was not this woman’s forever… if she was destined to have one, it couldn’t be me.

Suddenly being just, a single moment in her symphony, wasn’t enough.

The sound of her voice gave me chills like we had been silent in this clearing for hours and her voice was the first to break the quiet, but I knew it had really only been seconds.

“It’s you and your brothers, against the world.”

I fought it so hard, but I knew that a pained sound still escaped me… I might have managed to muffle it, but it was there all the same.

Fuck! How could I have been so stupid!? Of course, it couldn’t be me and her against the world. Not after everything she’d already endured. I wouldn’t be another Sam for her. I wouldn’t allow it; I would find a way to move forward… bury my desires like I had the darkest parts of my past.

This wasn’t going to haunt her; I refused to let that happen. I took a breath… it was long, and it shook no matter how hard I tried to keep it steady. I locked my gaze with hers… I drew strength from her… and from the beautiful wolf that lived deep inside of her soul, from the incredible woman who had shared her whole self with me for as long as I was privileged to stand in her light.

There was a reason the sun and the moon could only share the same space for a few fleeting moments. This had been our eclipse, our orbit crossed, and it was beautiful… but now… now it was time her light shone on the world and not just me, in secret. I had to move, and let the sun come out.

I took my arms from around her and I rested my hand over her racing heart. Not even her amazing self-control could stop that. “You have a beautiful heart, Leah.” I wanted to tell her to stop hiding it away… but Leah had proven she could show more of herself to the pack when she chose to. “And you’ll never truly know what it meant to me that you let me into it so completely. You are the future of everything we stand for, and you will always, always have my loyalty and my respect. Every step of the way. Even if…” My throat all but closed before I could say, even if I can’t walk the path with you. “Always, Leah.” I kissed her forehead and touched my own to the same spot.

I rallied all my strength, everything I had learned from her. I drew from my wolf… because I knew my only hope of making it through this night was to let that part of me lead. But he was as shattered as me. I took a breath, slipped my hand into her hair for the last time and cradled the back of her head.

“Goodbye, Trouble,” I whispered.

The words we’d agreed not to use until the end, because I couldn’t let her carry this.

Then I stepped away slowly, sliding my hand out of her hair, the soft coolness of it… and even now with all this heartache I was still fascinated at the simple fact that she let me touch her like that. My eyes met hers again and all of the doubts rushed in, urging me not to do this. That this was wrong. Before I could lose my nerve and do something selfish; I turned and headed for the closest trees.

With every step, my mind screamed that this was wrong, and the noise came rushing in again. I was thrown back in time. Back to the times in my life when I lost friends… the desolation of being told I needed to cut Quil and Jacob out of my life… the agony of Jacob ripping himself from our pack and taking a piece of my soul with him.

Was I losing a best friend tonight too?

∞ Leah Clearwater ∞

I stood rooted to the land of our spirits with my newly gained freedom crashing down around me. What more could someone say? Especially when words weren’t a strong suit in the first place. He had promised his loyalty to me before we could call ourselves friends. And now as he steps away from me, he does it again.

Telling me he remembered seeing the parts of me, the rest of the world wasn’t privy to, made something sharp stab me in the heart he thought I owned. Even though I’ve never willingly allotted feelings to it, even going as far as saying it was stone. But his faith in me remained.

My nails were digging into my palms. Any harder and I knew I would draw blood. I felt the chill of the night creep in as soon as Embry stepped away, his hands dropping from my head, his kiss leaving an invisible mark on my forehead like a phantom imprint. The gravity and the significance of this moment weren’t lost on me or on my warrior. She reached out for him, her soul burning from the unfairness of this situation, until I reminded her. The world wasn’t meant to be fair, for those of us who were born to sacrifice.

My gaze locked on to his shadowed form walking away from me… from us... The darkness wasn’t unknown to us. That was until Grandmother Moon came out from behind the thick clouds to light his way. Her actions showing me that she has him… She would protect him, and light his path as he began the next stage of his evolution. Embry belonged to her, and she was, after all, his guardian.

Grandmother moon… I lifted my chin, letting my head fall back, my eyes on her to show her that her promise to protect this man, was the reason I could walk away. The burning in my chest and eyes was likely to ignite like gunpowder if I didn’t keep myself in check. My warrior screamed to the skies, fighting to be free, to run until we couldn’t run any more. She wanted me to go after him, to stop him. She cried, telling me his ‘Goodbye’ couldn’t be real. But we both knew better. I let one lone tear slip, feeling its path down my temple, disappearing into my dark hair. By the time I looked back at the circle on the ground I knew. It was time.

Without glancing in the direction he took, I turned… Pulling my hands free, squeezing the pain out of them. Part of me craved the reminder of my humanity, but I knew better. Now wasn’t the time for any feelings. It was time to act, to close off, and to walk the path I had set for myself.

Long strides meant I had myself sitting on my bike, kicking him off his stand, and pulling out of the forest with my mindset to go home. If I let myself think too long, I knew I would leave. Leave these lands until I was far enough away to scream out like she wanted me to. But tonight was not our time. I sat low, keeping the weight on my bike even, kicking up the gears as fast as I could. The need to at least feel as though I was running, even if the reality of it was far from it.

The world flew by us, while I kept my eyes from wandering into the forest I was speeding by, not wanting to see the pity in the brown glowing eyes looking back. I wanted to drown out the sounds of the howling, and the hums of the spirits. They all needed to let me be. Just for tonight.

≋ ≋ ≋ ≋

I only slowed as I rode up my street, because of the scent in the air. Closing my eyes wishing that it was old, but I knew better than that. When I came to a stop in my driveway, he was sitting there on my front step, with his arms crossed over his knees. Dread filled my stomach because some part of me knew this was coming. But I’d hoped he would at least give me tonight to deal with myself. Pulling my bike up on his stand, I turned to face him without getting off. The two of us breathed slow deep breaths, both waiting for the other to speak first. Until I saw it in his eyes. He would wait all night if I didn’t break first. “Have you come to tell me, to step down from being your Beta?”

My throat felt dry. As though it hadn’t been used for years. Because of course, he knew, news like this spread in this rez faster than wildfire.

Jacob Black stood up slowly, with his hands resting on his knees as he pushed up. And shook his head, nodding to my door.

My eyes darted around the neighbourhood; his imprint wasn’t with him. Not that he ever brought her here the times he has shown up on my doorstep. But then again, he’d never shown up here without sending me a message to warn me first.

‘She isn’t here. It’s just me.’ He waited patiently reading my mind.

But the question was, did I want my Alpha to step inside of my house? He raised his eyebrow, in answer telling me, he could wait all night. Slowly I got off my bike and walked up the path to unlock the door. All the while we didn’t share a word. He closed my front door with a gentle hand, took his boots off beside me, and his jacket hanging it up next to mine. The lamp light showed the evidence of what had happened here earlier in the night, constricting my chest again.

A flash in the moment takes me back to it. Reminding me how the disgust on Seth’s face looked. The disappointment in my ma’s eyes. And the bond I broke within the pack. When I dared to look up beside me, I could see flashes of emotion in Jake’s eyes. The man had always worn his feelings openly. He wasn’t even trying to hide them from me.

Without saying a word, he stepped into my living room, going to the guitar case discarded by the wall. Opening it up, he placed it on the couch. Coming to a stop while his eyes travelled the length of it, before he turned carefully, collecting the beautiful white guitar with the two doves on the face of it, placing it into the case before closing it. Some part of me feared that he would take it. He knew that instrument well and knew who it belonged to. But all he did was place it in the armchair beside the window. I stood there waiting for him to tell me he was disappointed, that I couldn’t be his beta, that I’d betrayed him. That I broke his pack, and more so that I was fucking his best friend under his nose… The words were coming crashing so hard and fast that I didn’t realise he was before me until he held the sheet out to me.

‘Why don’t you go and change your sheets, put a wash on. And I’ll start by cleaning up out here.’ He half smiled, tilting his head. ‘Leah?’ he questioned. ‘I know, I know, I’ll do a crap job, and you’ll have to do it again. But that’s half the fun.’

He took my hand slowly like he was speaking to a wounded animal, placing the sheet inside before closing my fingers around the fabric.

‘You take your bedroom; I’ll take the living room. Half the job, half the time.’

Nodding my head once, I folded the sheet in my hands, stepping around him to walk down the quiet, dark hallway. I stopped to look back once, asking her, why was he there. But she didn’t answer, and I didn’t expend too much energy on the thought. Instead, I made my way into my bedroom letting my mind drift to the morning…

The morning… only hours ago… We had been happy, laughing, joking, humming to music... Talking about the day, and what we had to look forward to.

If only we knew…

When we said to dream a little dream, it would result in a nightmare.

∞ Embry Call ∞

I felt like I was being pulled in every direction at once, there were a thousand screaming thoughts in my head, and I couldn’t decipher a single one. Not even Grandmother’s light could dampen the sounds. I wanted to lift my head and scream… to demand an answer… to ask why she’d left us both alone in this, why she was withholding her guidance. I wanted to know why she was punishing me… punishing us… all because I reigned in my urges so that Leah’s day could go how she had planned. So that all her hard work and dedication would go off without a hitch.

So, the hard work of both of our moms planning this event, and the people that gave up their weekends to make it a success. I knew I messed up; I knew that taking it for granted that we would have an after, a later… more time… was an ungrateful way to view it. But was THIS the only way she could have taught me the lesson? Could destroying this path she’d put us on really be what we deserved because of a few misguided thoughts?

I fought the urge, running into the trees on bare human feet because I wasn’t ready for the noise of the pack to be added to the cacophony inside my head. I tried to outrun her light as it filtered through the leaves. My pain, sadness, and loss… it all ran together, mingling with the too-loud sounds in my head, they merged and twisted into anger. And I directed it at her… the only thing that kept me from screaming all of this to the night sky was knowing that Leah was still close enough to hear and I promised her I would be okay if… or when this happened.

I felt him clawing at my skin to be free and I let him free with one condition.

Hurricane – I Prevail

youtube

The track filled my head and blocked out anything else… well as much as I could. I heard a whimper or a howl or two from a few of the young ones when the pain I was unable to hold; slammed into them. I felt the winces and the caught breaths from the others who were better able to restrain themselves. I felt them trying to penetrate the shield of music I had thrown up. I was aware of Quil as he came up just to my left, half a stride behind my shoulder. I knew it was him who held back the chorus of my name as the pups tried to find a way into a mind that usually, welcomed them openly.

Not tonight.

I couldn’t deal with that and stick to our rules. I had broken too many already.

Family first, pack second…. I would finish this shift and then I would find a way to keep my promise, to be okay… to… be… okay…

It seemed like an impossible task. Just two more hours… then I would figure out what the hell I was supposed to do next. I drown out the thoughts of finding Leah, for two hours. I stopped myself from tracking Seth down, for two hours. I planned how I could apologise to Sue for all of this, for two hours. I failed… for two hours to stick to our simple rules and put the pack and the tribe first. Quil made it too easy for me to take a back seat.

➶➶➶➶➶➶➶

What seemed like an entire night later before I was back in my Jeep… to say I was feeling numb seemed right… but since when could numbness feel so… excruciating? The cold that seemed to seep into my bones since I had walked away from her… that could be called numb… right?

I had a white-knuckle grip on the wheel. I didn’t stop the silent tears that slipped free in their own time, and I didn’t try and force my breath into an easy, smooth rhythm. There was no one to put on a show for, I just needed to be somewhere quiet until I could single out a train of thought and try to pull myself together.

“Fuck!” as I drove along Mom’s street, that was Sam’s truck parked a few doors down from my mother’s house. What the hell had Seth done now? I felt a little stab of guilt… it was unfair to assume it was him… but I was pissed… so yeah, it was just a little twinge of the sensation. I drove past him, pulling into Mom’s driveway. Sam got out of his truck like this was exactly what he expected and walked towards me.

I dug Mom’s key out of my glove box. So glad that Quil promised to hold my phone for the night. I didn’t want access to the group chat tonight.

‘Embry… we should speak.’ He said as though he was talking to someone right next to him, so he didn’t disturb the neighbours.

“No… we really don’t,” I said, getting out and closing the door softly.

‘You can’t ignore this… you know it’s go—’ He started, I cut him off.

“Not you Sam… not with you,” I said heading up the path.

‘Embry… it's not like that. You know that Leah and I…’

“I don’t care Sam… This isn’t about you. It's about me and Leah.” He was going to tell me about how fine they were and how the past was behind them… but none of that had anything to do with what was happening here. I knew exactly what his lecture would be about… but his story was not my story. I wasn’t going to let anyone make any part of what Leah and I had about anyone but the two of us. All we had left now were our feelings and our memories. And they were ours and ours alone.

‘It's about two pack members also… I’m an Alpha of this tribe, ‘Bry.’ He wasn’t pulling rank; he was stating a simple fact. Just like I was when I shoved the key in the lock and said.

“No offence… but you’re not mine.” Before I disappeared inside and closed the door. I knew Sam would respect this boundary. This was my mother's house, and he knew she would be here sleeping.

Closing the door on a man I considered a brother should have made me feel something… but immediately all I could think of was Leah… where was she? What was she doing? Was she alone? Was she hurting? Would she open her door if I showed up outside of it?

Would she ever forgive me if I did that?

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