#mostly so i don't fuck up when I write
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i recently remembered DickTim Week 2024 is happening very soon and i looked at the prompts again to see if i could get anything out for it and. the Hades & Persephone AU prompt for day 1 has got me really thinking so here's a vague concept i plan to write.
i've been pretty burnt out on modern Hades & Persephone retellings because of how they always seem to fall into the same generic "innocent wide-eyed girl runs from her evil mean mother into the arms of a dark mysterious man because actually she went willingly and chose to marry him" which has gotten repetitive for my tastes. (for clarity i don't care if this retelling is your cup of tea personally, so long as you're not actively trying to rewrite the original myth and claim untrue things about it, if this is your favorite flavor i sincerely hope you enjoy the buffet i just have little interest in it since it feels overdone for me and exhausted of it's supposed commentary atp)
but? but. biblically accurate Hades & Persephone AU has me all kinds of interested. because wait listen so hear me out right. Hades!Dick and Persephone!Tim, obviously. i feel it'd be more loosely inspired by with themes and imagery (though playing with death and nature powers could be interesting, i haven't decided) rather than explicitly making them gods and all. but. something dark and fucked up where Dick and Bruce are especially estranged. maybe to do with Jason's return, maybe to do with them just clashing and having their usual explosive arguments. and Bruce knows the peace needs to be kept, if he and Dick are at odds then everyone starts to pick sides and things just fracture so he needs a peace offering.
and the peace offering is Tim.
Bruce (the stand-in for Zeus) offers up Tim. agrees to have Tim move to Bludhaven and be Dick's... whatever Dick wants him to be. knowing that with the implication comes the likelihood of Dick grooming Tim. and Tim has no real say and is hesitant to put up a real fight. he doesn't want this, he knows what this is going to imply Dick will do to him, but he also knows if he says no things have the possibility to just... fall apart. so he's the unwilling bride, dragged off to the metaphorical underworld (Bludhaven) with Dick, away from his family, his friends, the life he built.
and on the flip side, i think weirdly enough, your best pick for the Demeter stand-in is *Jason*. just, hear me out on that. not necessarily on the side of it being motherly, but on Jason being just estranged enough from the Batfamily to be the one willing to call it out for being bad and wrong and raising bloody hell to get Tim back. maybe it's because Jason wants Tim for himself, maybe it's truly out of a concern for Tim to have autonomy, i'm toying with the idea of it primarily being Tim's POV and him genuinely not knowing which of these is true. (and the truth possibly ends up being a complicated middle ground) and because i like Helena, i think you can use her as the Hekate stand in, the one who strikes a tentative alliance with Jason and tries to go find Tim and bring him back. Tim stuck with Dick, getting groomed and hyperaware of it, possibly even getting fucked the whole time as well, knowing he can't go back without causing massive issues for Dick and Bruce because well, Bruce did promise him to Dick. so he has to adjust his whole life, try to figure out being a vigilante in this new city with Dick breathing down his neck the whole time.
and then much like the ending of the myth, a sort of compromise is struck that's a shaky deal for everyone involved. Tim is put on an essential timeshare, going back and forth between Gotham, where he has friends and family and a support system, then getting dragged right back to Bludhaven with Dick in this brutal cycle that he slowly gets used to and stockholm'd into even liking it. Dick isn't so bad, once he gets used to the quirks of their unbalanced 'relationship'. the sex is even something he can adjust to as well. not quite a happy ending but one that sits in this realistic grey area that becomes Tim's life.
i will write this, eventually, but i don't know if i'll get to it before DickTim Week ends so by posting the idea i'm essentially putting it out into the world so the peer pressure holds me accountable. i just. really like the potential of making Hades/Persephone AUs as fucked up as they can be simply by adhering to the source material and making it a raw story of being stolen away and forced to like this new home you didn't ask for.
also a less fleshed-out aspect of this idea i have ties into Persephone becoming the Queen of the Underworld when she's taken and how the transition from Kore to Persephone could be reflected in Tim. how he makes the best of the worst situation and becomes something far more dangerous and dark when he's in Bludhaven, possibly takes on a new vigilante name/identity and leans into the worst quirks of his personality he tries to tamper because there's no point in not going full tilt Obsessively Weird if he has no choice anyway and it being one small way he takes back his autonomy, and that inevitably making Dick *more* into him, because he gets to see Tim finally just. let loose.
#dicktim#timdick#batcest#necrotic festerings#necrotic works in progress#dicktim week 2024#fandom event#this will be written i've just got a pile of things before it.#i'm mostly posting it so i don't fucking forget about it#i'm also interested in some of the other prompts#day 2 is full of goodies. and day 7.#but the other prompts are probably ideas that'll be shorter and quicker#this one i feel. if i rlly fucking ran with it. could go on to be a novella length idea.#idk how long it'll get when i write it#but there will be smut this i promise you#also i'm respectfully begging y'all pls don't do hades/persephone myth discourse on this post#i really *don't* care if you like romantic retelings i promise. they're just not my vibe#and i also promise i am *incredibly* well read on this myth#if you try to give me the “well in some versions-” argument i'm *going* to get incredibly boring with so many sources.#like i will go step by step through every ancient version of this myth.#i save that discourse for spiritual spaces tho so pls don't drag it here i will combust#anyway making jason the demeter stand in is funny bc greek mythos also does do the incest pretty hard#so like. it still works. it's funny#how long will this take i honestly cannot tell you#depends on if i cave and bump it up in the queue bc it's behind like. four fics i'm so sorry.#but you're welcome to send asks or whatnot to shout at me about this idea and 'yes and' me#that applies to any of my ideas anyone is welcome to 'yes and' that shit#it delights me dearly.#my sole hang up on this rn is how godly do i make it. do i give them powers. or do i just make it vaguely inspired by the myth.#both are fun for their own reasons.
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Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet
#Celtrist#cel rambles#I don't particularly care how abundant the merch is on shark robot#It literally feels like they'll take a scrap of anything and make it a pin#Like the Moxie Antartica pin Really sir and a bunch others where they're just a random frame from the show#I mean they're FUN frames at least but I swear I've seen some real random ones that don't even make sense to be a pin#AND I'M SORRY WHY DO THEY HAVE SO MUCH MERCH OF CHARACTERS THAT I CAN'T IMAGINE BEING THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT#Sallie Mae fine I can see why people like her and want merch#Chaz is pushing it especially seeing as he's pretty dead but fine I suppose he has his fans#Glitz and Glam? Okay you already fucked up not going with their beta designs but who really was looking at them and thinking “I want merch”#But fine. I'm sure they have their fans#BUT FREAKING MUFFY?? THE VET RECEPTIONIST? WHO TF WAS ASKING FOR A PIN OF HER? DID YOU EVEN KNOW HER NAME?#They do that shit all the time and it aggravates me. They seem to go by a “quantity over quality” thing.#Which their quality is great btw but the quantity of things they have for characters that don't even matter and are seen once is rediculous#Also when I was gonna look up when we were gonna meet Vassago I saw he was an overlord in the pilot#Curious if that's gonna stay. What's to say overlords can't be hellborns or goetia#Is he a goetia? Not sure.#P-point is I like their merch and the new batch seems to mostly be uniquely made to be merch and I like that#But the amount of “garbage” (that's mean but best way I can put it) merch that has a character little to no one would care about#Or is essentially JUST a screen grab from the show is annoying and just pointlessly fills the shop pages#And while I see from a business perspective why they'd put Vassago out especially since some already like him#I also just think it's silly for him to already have merch when we haven't seen his character other than in the trailer#Surprised they don't have merch of satan out yet lol#Okay but I would've approved only so they could make a krampus joke with him#Granted I don't care about Helluva as much as Hazbin#But can't help to be more critical of it when it has a lot of problems Hazbin has aside from pacing#But absolutely NO excuse or leeway for the reason of the sloppy writing that's present#Lemme reiterate my good ol' phrase here:#You're not in the Sonic fandom for like 22 yrs and don't learn to be critical of the media you enjoy lol#rant
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ღ Announcement ღ
Hey guys, it's been a while since I've really been active on here! A few things happened that kinda put me in a bad writer's block, but I'm hoping I can finally pick up writing again soon. That said, I have two things to announce!!
ღ I have decided to merge my boy group writing blogs. That means I will occasionally also post sfw works on here from now on, and my other blog @starry-nights-garden will be archived.
ღ I'm about to hit 2k on here, which is really exciting!!!! Once I manage to get back into writing I'd really like to do a little event for that, but I haven't thought about what exactly to do yet. I will make an announcement post once I've decided on that, but I'm also open to ideas from you guys^^
#don't come for my throat when you see the 05-liners appear on my masterlists aksdjfklsa#there will still mostly be mature content on here - but i'll also sometimes post sfw works from now on~#also the writer's block is BAD so please have patience... i'm probably too optimistic atm#so it'll most likely take another few weeks until I can go back to writing properly#(unless uni starting again fucks that up but yeeaaaahhhh we'll see skjdflksajfk)#notice
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oh We Had It Good in Ba Sing Se !!!????? !?
sdkghjkadjg wELL this is actually inspired by another fic I read on Ao3 called It Must Follow, As Night the Day by catie_writes_things. The basic premise is that Zuko and Katara have been living as a family in Ba Sing Se for years, having been brainwashed by the Dai Li to believe they are just two refugees named Li and Kara.
That fic hasn't been updated in a few years, but its premise has been sitting in my brain so hard that I have a bunch of highly self-indulgent "sketches" for myself just floating in my computer. I'm not really active in the ATLA fandom (I mostly just lurk) so I have a small hoard of various personal WIPs/ficlets this way.
Below the cut's a snip of We Had It Good in Ba Sing Se:
Neither of them remember much of their lives before Ba Sing Se. Few refugees do, in fact. And if you went to the government doctors they would assure you that the loss of such traumatic memories as whatever came before Ba Sing Se was normal. Expected. "Your mind is protecting itself from the horrors that came before," they'd say. Most everyone accepted this explanation. Li, however, felt the aching gap in his memory like a death knell, like something in his past was warning him, trying to prepare him for something he couldn't imagine. Kara's memories, too, were fractured down to impressions of a lost family and great expanses of snow and ice.
But their instincts couldn't be forgotten, and Li often reminded Kara that they should trust these hunches and primal alarms because they must have developed for a REASON. It was instinct that brought them together, and it was instinct that told them the bender registry was a dangerous, dangerous system.
To use any bending other than earth within the walls, one must have the proper paperwork. And then, to move between the walls, one must have their resident papers as well. And then, to maintain a residence or a job or their right to ration tickets they must have their bending and residence and ration-status papers and all manner of papers that say 'yes, I am allowed by the grace of the Dai Li to do anything at all.'
And sometimes, the papers aren't enough, if the enforcer or higher-caste member decides they don't like you.
Li finds a lot of these people don't like him.
He knows, from seeing his neighbors and hearing from gossip in the markets, that the Dai Li will arrest you for anything. Perhaps even only as a reminder that they can. Oh, you may return home after a day or a week. You may not return for months, having been left in one of their underground prisons until you've wept and plead innocent to their satisfaction. But there seemed to be little rhyme or reason: sometimes they would round up people in droves by occupation or even seemingly by the color of the hair or eyes. Firebenders (of which there were a few) were often snatched up. Whispers which could be taken as discontent with the regime were also grounds for detention. The people walked the streets carefully and with fear, but oh they had nothing to fear from the OUTSIDE.
And it's as he's leaving the registry office, having been made to register his 5 year old daughter as a firebender for her protection and, ultimately, her oppression, he begins to think about how he will get his family out of Ba Sing Se.
#ask#subway-dove#wip title meme#should i fandom tag this tho is the question (o_o;)#when i say this is self-indulgent i Mean It#but i tried to pick a section that is...mostly accessible?#thabnk u dobe <3#btw i Highly recommend that fic#so long as you don't mind reading something unfinished#the writing is superb; excellent characterization and humanity#edit: ahhhh fuck it I'll tag it#zutara#at least. just bc i do have a fic rec up there
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I've been rethinking about the Ahsoka serie for a while and I realized that I'm not really the biggest fan of it...
But since I don't like to spread too much negativity on things I otherwise enjoyed I decided to make a checklist of the things I liked about it:
Sabine's haircutting scene as a parallel to Kanan's one, both of them prepering to save the people they love
Sabine using Ezra's lightsaber was cool, even though I would have prefered her not being a Force sensitive
CAPTAIN CARSON TEVA!
Lothal and the mural
MY GENOCIDAL BOY CHOPPER!!!!
MY SASSY BOY HUYANG!!!!!!!
THE GOLDEN BOY HIMSELF C3PO!!!!!!!!!
I love Star Wars droids, okay? okay
Little Jacen, and the scene where he heard Ahsoka and Anakin's duel
ALSO HIS PAULDRON, A MINI VERSION OF KANAN'S!!!
Hera basically telling the senator to fuck off and let her do her job
How Shin's grey palette is in direct contrast to Sabine's explosion of colours.
Baylan Skoll's journey to the Mortis gods (apparentely)
The whole WBW sequence
I cried at that, two times
Ahsoka going to take the clone's hand
Anakin with the Darth Vader flashes
How it took this sequence to make me realize how much PTSD Ahsoka must have from the war and everything that happened after
Ariana Greenblatt as young Ahsoka
The way they retconned the atrocious tube top
The way her Akul theet Headress looked. I never liked how it was in TCW
AHSOKA THE WHITE!!!
THE PURGILL'S SEQUENCE!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
"A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away..."
THE CRAB PEOPLE
Ezra aka Space Moses
The Great Mothers
"For the Empire" "... for Dathomir"
Morgan and Ashoka's duel
ANAKIN'S FORCE GHOST
#this serie has problems mainly in the writing#a lot of things should have been done better#but in the end I enjoyed it so I don't care that much#I'm propably not going to rewatch it#but it is what it is#in the end I mostly watch this new series for the world building lmao#and have ideas to draw#so I try not to get too upset when they don't end up that good#the only exception being Andor#fucking love that serie#I love the Age of the Rebellion it's my favourite out of all#star wars#ashoka tano#ahsoka series#ahsoka show#anakin skywalker#sabine wren#shin hati#baylan skoll#hera syndulla#jacen syndulla#ezra bridger#chopper star wars#star wars c3po
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am still sick
it's been over a week wth
at least the headaches have gone away a bit
#if the versicherung sends the letter on time I will go to the doctor and let em write me sick to recover#been working mostly because we're understaffed but honestly fuck my bosses for being too incompetent to hire more people#they sometimes have the audacity to try and bargain with you when you are sick or seriously injured and can't come to work#like broski you ain't offering us more why should we sacrifice our health for ya?#but also that's the funniest way to get them to shut up lmao#“please come into work we're are severely understaffed!!”#“I'm sick and my doctor will hunt me for sport if I do so”#“yeah but you can sit down! or drink tea! or let the others do more work!”#“I will come only if you pay me more like maybe 50ct an hour more”#“...get well soon! Rest well! Don't overdo it! have fun on your little sick vacation!”#<-literally how a normal convo would go#godoframbles#work#sick
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ok so. kiwami 2. rooftop scene. the ending. it's a bit of a clusterfuck but i wanna talk about one detail, a problem they bring to your attention by Fucking. Talking About Her.
haruka is watching all of this unfold.
[this post is like 4.5k words long + pretty critical + has spoilers for kiwami and kiwami 2, and really minor/vague ones for a couple others. they're not that bad though, trust me (and i added a warning in the one place it is major)]
ALSO CONTENT WARNING i'm gonna talk about kiryu's passive suicidality a good amount in this one, so stay away from this if you think that might affect you negatively/you'd be better off skipping it. i'll also make a tl;dr (which i will highlight in red) at the very end if you really wanna know what my point is that will exclude those elements <3. i am also going to use a lot of choice-based language in regards to kiryu's contemplation of suicide because i think it's the lens through which the games treat the topic, but i personally don't find it a productive or realistic way to look at suicide or suicidal ideation at all. someone dying by suicide absolutely does not mean they don't care about their loved ones enough to fight on or whatever. i love you, and proceed with caution on this one.
(also i'm using the kiwamis as my point of reference because i uh. don't have a ps2? those are the games that i played, and though the differences are likely slight, i wanna be clear about that. also,, ignore the watermark on these screenshots,, i didn't notice them and i'm not retaking them. we're all gonna have to settle for youtube cutscene comps for now xoxo)
first, we have to talk about the ending of the first game.
[note: i am Really Really Confident kiryu has a conversation earlier in the game about his going to jail in nishiki's stead being him running away and choosing not to resist his two options (go to jail or let nishiki go to jail) and define his own path, fighting his way against fate to make it happen. part of why i'm so confident it exists is because it made such an impression on me at the time. it's pretty important to my interpretation of things but i also can't find it for the life of me, so uh. sorry ✌️ i really tried. this post's takes/analysis will be dependent on this scene existing, so keep that in mind. if anyone knows where to find the scene/screenshots of it, lmk and i'll add a follow-up with it]
kiwami stuff
so as she's dying, yumi tells haruka this:
that she may be dying (painfully, and right as she's getting everything she wanted), but she doesn't regret it, because at least she did something rather than running away from it all. that you shouldn't run away, ever.
shortly thereafter, when the police find kiryu and haruka, this exchange happens between him and date. here's the play by play:
date tells kiryu he can get him out of trouble with this, and that if he doesn't, he'll get life in prison; kiryu declines his help:
kiryu is so devastated (understandably) by the back to back losses of the three people closest to him that he resigns himself to life in prison, and the death-in-effect that would be. he would prefer to waste away rather than struggle through a life without them. prison was monotonous and isolating, but coming back after a decade was overwhelming, and coming back to everything being so warped and twisted, and then losing the corrupted scraps he had anyway, well. he wants to go back to sleep. he doesn't want to be in a world where everything's the same except he's on his own. better to return to safety, to die slowly in a hell he knows well than weather a new one where he has control and agency, and thus one where he has the ability to fail and to lose anything at any time. he explains to date that that loss is why he can accept his death:
date shakes him and asks him if there's really nothing left for him, no reason to keep living at all:
then echoes yumi's advice to haruka:
which makes an impression on kiryu:
date gives him a reason to live in the form of haruka, saying she'll be on her own again if he goes to jail. he hijacks kiryu's tragic protector complex to keep him alive, because she needs him, and because she's someone precious to him:
after the dust has cleared,
kiryu and date also have this exchange, where date tells him to stay away from the cops (and presumably arrest and a return to prison, the aforementioned fate akin to death), and kiryu cites haruka as his reason to stay away, one he holds to with no uncertainty (showing again that he's accepted date's logic, that his reason to keep living even when it's incredibly difficult is to care for the more vulnerable haruka). given the weight of the consequences, to me, it feels like date's telling him not to be alone with his thoughts or something. it's almost frightening:
so, what's our takeaway from kiwami?
kiryu lost everything and hit rock bottom, but he chose to fight, and to live life on his own terms, even when it got difficult. that's the narrative life lesson he had to learn to avoid repeating the events of 1995. he made that choice for haruka's sake. it's seen as growth.
and without him, haruka would've just returned to the orphanage (assuming she could make it back to sunflower at all) with no one who knew or understood what she had been through, no one to mourn with her, and no one to give her the attention, care, and protection she needs. kiryu knows what it's like to be an orphan with a limited parental figure who only checks in every so often (kazama, "aunt" yumi), and what someone will do for attention/affection from that person (via both himself and nishiki swearing up, climbing the ranks, etc. arguably haruka coming to kamurocho by herself to find "mizuki" is similar), and what it's like to lose them anyway (again, kazama, yumi). their situations parallel each others' somewhat, and that binds them further. and after losing everyone (which he blames himself for to some extent, as one can probably assume from this and 2, and something key to his arc in later games), he chooses to protect her. and this time, he won't fail. at least partially because failing would hurt him, too. he'd have nothing left again.
okay. now we get to kiwami 2.
if you forgot, the context is basically:
everybody's fighting on the roof of a building which i'm sure will not be a running theme or anything as the series goes on
there's a bomb that's about to go off and they don't know how to/can't defuse it
ryuji shot the twist villain to death, but took fatal hits to do so
sayama's like hey!! let's get out of here!!! and kiryu and ryuji are like nooo we have to settle this oughh it's punchin time and they stick her on an elevator and send her down so she doesn't have to watch
ryuji loses. sayama returns, they have a cute sibling heart to heart, and ryuji dies in her arms. sad
kiryu is in rough shape as well, and there's like 2 minutes left on the bomb's timer
here's the scene itself:
sayama tells kiryu they have to run, and kiryu says he can't. the gist is "let's run!" "you go without me" "i'm not leaving you!" "i'm in no condition to run" "i'll carry you then!!" sayama: *sees how fucked up kiryu is, realizes he's Going To Die Anyway* "ok, then i'm staying with you!" and then further bickering about that, before they give up and make out (as one does i guess)
date (he's here now) yells this at them from a helicopter:
before someone else in the helicopter tells date this:
we get this shot of haruka calling out to kiryu as the helicopter swerves away:
and kiryu and sayama have this exchange about haruka where they say they let her down, but that she'll understand:
then they hug and the bomb ticks to zero right when the credits hit. in post credits it's revealed that the twist villain defused the bomb when they weren't looking, betraying his co-villain for reasons i truthfully do not remember and am unwilling to look up. it's not about that right now.
so, how does this scene interact with the ending of the previous game?
the short answer is "badly <3" but here's the long answer:
it's about choices.
the thing about fiction is that anything you want to have happen, as a writer, can happen. it may not be effective, internally consistent, or logical, but you can write it regardless. audiences suspend their disbelief for the sake of engaging fully with your fiction, but everyone has a threshold past which they will stop being engaged in a story and either become uninvested or annoyed. writers usually have lines they're unwilling to cross as well. but in almost every story, there's at least a couple of places where they stretch reality a little to make the narrative they want happen. this is not a bad thing at all. that's how stories get told.
now, i'm gonna be real with you. i don't care about how feasible plots are like 95% of the time. it's not something i think about much, nor is it something i prioritize. i am a very character-centric media consumer, so if world building and/or plot are a bit stale or contrived, that doesn't really bother me much so long as i'm invested in the characters involved. some people can't stand plot holes or the ways musicals burst into song or whatever, and that's fine for them. but it's not something i tend to find that all that important.
this is all to say that i have a sorta affection for rgg's flavor of bullshit pulling. and it is a powerful flavor, maybe even an acquired taste, but i can and do rock with it so long as it doesn't damage the characters too much. this is why i'm not making a lengthy post howling into the void about joji kazama or the second joon-gi han or how many secret relatives there are. those things are silly and endearing and a clumsy yet heartfelt part of a series i care about very deeply. i'll joke about it, but i don't consider it much of a flaw. it's more like personality. flaws are texture, and they help a piece's identity. point is i am very, very willing and able to suspend my disbelief for these games in exchange for a good time, particularly via good characters.
(if you want another example of where i draw the line from within rgg, the answer's the YAKUZA 4 SPOILERS INCOMING rubber bullets twist, because i think 1) it's actively horrifically stupid (especially retconning a scene we SAW HAPPEN. WE SAW BLOOD ON EACH IMPACT, AND RUBBER BULLETS DON'T OFTEN BREAK SKIN THAT DEEPLY (THEIR DAMAGE IS MORE PERCUSSIVE THAN PENETRATIVE). THESE EVENTS HAPPEN IN THE SAME GAME YOU DON'T HAVE TO RETCON IT JUST REWRITE IT. OR DON'T SHOW THE HIT AT ALL SO THERE'S MORE PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY. DON'T DO THIS JUST TO HYPE UP YOUR SHITTY VILLAIN NO ONE CARES ABOUT. and 2) (a bit more importantly) i think it actively removes saejima's primary internal conflict for that game, that being his intense guilt over the 18 murders he thinks he committed, one i was invested and interested in. but this isn't a rubber bullets post.)
characters in this series walk off a lot of life threatening injuries. they survive miraculously, they escape in the nick of time, and they pull through in the end. kiryu still somehow hasn't killed anyone. almost every game in his saga ends with an "is kiryu gonna make it out this time?!?" shortly followed by a "yeah lol. lmao" postcredits reveal. kiryu fucking punches a marble statue into dust in the first game. having a story that asks you to suspend your disbelief so much and so often means that when a decision is made, it's not the writers saying, "well, this would have to happen so we are obligated/forced to write it happening" so much as "we wanted this to happen for some reason(s)," because you already know that they're not guided solely by logic. again, this is true of all writers, it's just amplified in stories like these because they've already given you so many hard mode suspension of disbelief moments (they've broken you in like leather, yeah? or like how obvious internet scams allow for self selection by being so obvious that only the most vulnerable people would fall for them. they curate an audience willing to play along with their bullshit flavor so they can tell a story that's more likely to satisfy that audience. in a good way, in a fun way! mass appeal is overrated). there is not much limit to what this series is willing to try and sell you.
so when ryuji takes lethal damage taking out the big bad, that's a choice. when he doesn't die immediately, that's a choice. when ryuji and kiryu send sayama away in the soon-to-be-forgotten elevator so they can settle this like men or whatever despite the literal actual bomb about to go off, that's a choice. when sayama comes back, that's a choice. when ryuji does die, that's a choice. when kiryu determines that he can't escape in time, that's a choice. when sayama is unwilling to leave him, that's a choice. when she says she'll carry him out and there's an elevator right fucking there and then she's like never mind i guess i won't anymore we're dying together right now kiryu like they're not gonna even try?? wouldn't distancing themselves from the blast give themselves a better shot, something that's super possible given the 2 minutes they have with that elevator??? sayama you met him like a week and a half ago why are you ready to die with him that's not a plot hole i just think that's kinda strange whatever anyway, that's a choice. when kiryu stops arguing with her so they can kiss (next to her brother's corpse), that's a choice. when date shows up, that's a choice. when the helicopter can't save them because the bomb was going to go off too soon, that's a choice. when they put haruka in that helicopter and take her away, let her only impact be reminding kiryu and sayama that they can't help her, that's a choice. when they spend their last moments talking as if they're already dead, then simply waiting, that's a choice.
they're all choices that the writers made for the characters, and we are asked to believe them for the sake of achieving the writers' vision, as with any story. the only problem is that the writers' vision here fucking blows.
i'm not saying it would be realistic for kiryu and sayama (and even ryuji) to make it out alive, but it wouldn't be out of character for the series in the slightest. kiryu is suddenly unable to power through here, and that's a choice. so, what is their vision?
put simply, i think they wanted a romantic last stand for kiryu and sayama, a tragic scene of doomed, devoted lovers. and i think they wanted an edge-of-your-seat fake out death. they wanted spectacle.
here's how some specific choices they made undermine all that shit we talked about earlier from the first game.
once again, kiryu is called by date to live, to pick himself up and keep going, no matter how impossible the odds are. he's even reminded by haruka's presence, his one anchor in keeping himself going. the growth he had in the parallel scene in the previous game is challenged, and he fails.
it's not enough this time. and that's a choice.
it's also one i can't think of a good reason for, and that's the real kicker.
characters can have developmental backslide just like people do, and if they're given good reason for it, it can be just as, if not far more compelling that purely linear growth (i am a chimera ant arc enjoyer, and that's all i'll say. sorry if you haven't seen hunter x hunter. uhh. i am also a zuko avatar enjoyer if that helps). but i can't think of anything that happened in that game that would cause this from a character perspective. if anything, kiryu should be less likely to do this intentionally. he's spent around a year raising haruka, and a year has passed since he lost his loved ones. at the very least, the pain should be more dull, though it is established through an early nightmare sequence that his ass is (justifiably) not over it yet. given that their deaths were the initial motivation for his willingness to rot forever, theoretically, he should be more motivated to stay alive than before now that he's got more investment and stability in his life outside of them, particularly when it comes to haruka, his reason for surviving. and if the ongoing nature of the trauma was the motivator for this, then they should've had it affect him more past that nightmare scene (it really serves more as a recap of the last game than anything else) so it didn't come out of nowhere. so the reminder of the lesson that saved his life and then guided it for at least a year afterwards, one that the whole resolution of the previous game relied on heavily falls flat for... some reason.
i think this is a good time to mention that, generally speaking, you don't write arbitrary choices into characters. sure, people in real life are often sporadic, but when analyzing fictional characters, every choice is filed into a portfolio of characterization that can and should be analyzed. going for pure realism can obfuscate their development, motivations, themes, etc. their choices and reactions may be unorthodox, but they must be internally consistent. this is very related to how i view plot contrivance as well. characters drive the plot, not the other way around. stories are about the ways characters affect their worlds/lives and vice versa, and they're the human face to the themes and ideas the writers are trying to explore and express. maybe my stance on this seems hypocritical. i don't know if it is. but to me, plot issues are usually a matter of engagement and investment, while character issues are a matter of substance.
i hope this doesn't feel patronizing explaining all of this, but i want you guys to know where i'm coming from in my analysis. starting at my base philosophy on writing is the easiest way to do that, i feel. defining the terms of the debate, and all that. anyway
and i mean, look. they survive because "it was defused the whole time we just didn't see it happen", so it's not like narrative tension or realism or whatever was THAT big of a priority overall. if it was gonna be a cop-out anyway, they should'nt have ruined kiryu's development too, yeah?. and sayama fucks off to america after this game anyway, so it's not like the doomed lovers thing had much payoff or meaning after this one (though you could argue that's more an issue with yakuza 3 than yk2, which has some merit to it). which means that they chose to sacrifice kiryu's prior development and internal logic for the sake of cheap tension for their finale that was both kinda illogical in and of itself (the elevator!! the elevator!!!) and a romantic climax that neither required nor really benefitted from this staging. (like. you coulda had them make out and then get saved by date, or kiss on the elevator in a "it's moving, but will we make it in time??" way or whatever. look i'm not saying those are great options either but they're SOMETHING okay. it would remove/reduce the amount of time wasted on characters sitting around with their thumbs up their asses for no reason in this finale).
instead the message of this finale is that, actually, sometimes it is impossible to change your circumstances and fight for your own way out of an awful situation. and what should you do about this unfortunate truth? uh. die! i guess. it's the exact opposite of the encouraging, optimistic message of the last game. zetsubou chou pride my ass.
note: i feel i should mention that when suicidality is brought up within the series (particularly in substories), it is always something someone has to overcome themselves through wanting it badly enough. they simply need the inspiration and the motivation to keep going. it's arguably treated as a moral obligation. frankly, the series is broadly very meritocratic (<- bad) when it comes to this topic (and others, but that's a Whole Other Thing. see akiyama's weird loan shark tests as well). sheer will and resolve is enough to conquer any problem, be it physical or mental/emotional, and it's irresponsible to act/feel otherwise. this is the logic the games operating under, and kiryu is often the mouthpiece for this bootstrap-pulling "tough love" sentiment. so when kiryu "chooses" to die, yet faces no emotional fallout from date, haruka, or anyone else, it feels very out of place. it's not just an odd choice; it's specifically, once again, an odd choice to make in context of the game/series/character it appears in.
kiryu's just like eh, haruka'll watch her only family die right as she gets some sense of tentative stability and lets her guard down after a devastating month the year prior (and a relatively dismal upbringing before that) that we trauma bonded over. sure, she likely came to view me as the one who would stay no matter what, who was too strong to be taken out, who she could always rely on, and so i know that dying would hurt her immensely, but she's smart enough to know it'd happen eventually. her eventual recovery means it's okay for me to do this (somehow, in a way it wasn't in the first game). it's an excuse within the narrative's logic, and one it is uncritical of simply because it's kiryu. he gets a pass.
and i think with the previously mentioned passive suicidality and general series-long mental health issues kiryu displays (i mean. yakuza 5's literally his depression arc), this could be retroactively seen as an interesting choice, like a piece in that particular narrative. i don't even dislike that viewing, especially in terms of fan approach. but (assuming this went down the same in yakuza 2), they likely didn't have that in mind. all they had then was the first game and the movie. and they took the first game's Entire Message and contradicted it for nothing but a scene they wanted to have happen because it'd be suspenseful and/or emotional (without actually doing the work to earn it). and they're not fans trying to analyze his character, they're the ones making choices for him. and they chose to massacre my boy. and if the subject of kiryu's mental health was a priority of theirs, why didn't they explore that? haruka and date's feelings on him not resisting and their words not being enough (whether that blame is justified by the narrative or not (it shouldn't be btw)), the uncomfortable drifting that resigning yourself to death and living afterwards anyway often brings, literally any conversation about it besides the minimal shit we get post credits of date being like "did you know about the bomb not having a fuse?" which like. bad answer either way (which is why they weren't straightforward about it, the cowards). you can't just be like "oh uh. idk he just gave up this time. yeah he was gonna die on purpose for some reason. good thing the bomb was fake lol" and then pack up and go home!! that's stupid!! any merit the idea of kiryu dying by suicide in this scene and in this way could have had from a character-based perspective loses its weight because 1. it didn't happen (for kinda stupid reasons), which makes it fall flat and 2. no one is really affected by the fact that it almost did, including him. they sacrificed his ass and replaced it with nothing, even when there could have been interesting outcomes to it.
so the narrative effectively chose to kill him by making the situation impossible, and this impossibility is ultimately arbitrary, given the series' usual approach to miraculous, illogical escapes. that, or the choice to stay was up to kiryu and sayama, one that 1. doesn't make sense and is actively regressive in context of kiryu's arc in the only other game in the series (as well as his whole saga in retrospect) and 2. one that contradicts how the series sees/treats resignation to death/death by suicide in all other contexts without being addressed, challenged, or condemned in ways it would in all other contexts. because they don't want you to think about it like that. they want you to think he (and the narrative) had no choice, that it made sense to do that. but it didn't. it doesn't.
and look, honestly? if i was bleeding out and had like 2 minutes to live, there's a non zero chance i'd say fuck it and kiss a girl too. i get it. but i am (and this is crucial) not a fucking yakuza character. and i'm certainly not kiryu kazuma.
tl;dr (basically just rephrasing the second to last main paragraph)
there are not sufficient character reasons for kiryu and sayama not trying to escape. additionally, because the narrative regularly facilitates even less likely escapes, it's not so constrained to logic and reality that it couldn't pull this one off. the choice to let their situation be impossible this one time was a cheap and arbitrary way of forcing a scene they thought would be cool and dramatic, and in doing so they chose to cannibalize a key emotional note of the previous finale (namely kiryu's mission to dedicate his life to protecting haruka) for hollow last minute stakes-upping in this one. it is then completely disregarded anyway. god damn.
#got so into this post that i used tumblr on my laptop for the first time to surpass mobile's image limit#i also added transcriptions in the alt text (which i should do more often)#actually thinking about it in the movie kiryu teaches haruka that lesson about stumbling on.. and she's the one to ask to follow him... hm.#just interesting given that the movie came out before 2. i don't think it makes much of a difference to the post it's just neat to me#one of my favorite parts of writing this was skimming through a bunch of yk1/yk2 cutscenes and noticing how often kiryu pats haruka's head#it happens a lot more than i remembered and it's very sweet to me. get bonked little one <3#another good thing was realizing you can edit tags when you're not on mobile.... fucking life changing. i have lost hours to mobile tag#editing and i'm not even kidding about that#speaking of editing this one took like 6 hours.. my brother used “yakuza autism” (verb) for me earlier and it's so true. source: this post#i did have a short break to get food bc i hadn't eaten all day but that's mostly because i woke up at 3pm. anyway#also if you like kiwami 2's ending you're not even remotely alone. i looked at the comment sections of the scene comps and ppl love it#and more power to you!! i like it when people enjoy things. and tbh i DO have feelings that i'm supposed to about that ending#i just also have feelings you're not supposed to. like. anger. i guess.#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#skrunk meta#aww yeah it's a new tag babeyy#yakuza kiwami 2#kiwami 2#yakuza#like a dragon#yk2#kiryu kazuma#sawamura haruka#sayama kaoru#maybe my thoughts'll change after replaying the games...? it's been like a year and a half since i beat yk2 so i am a bit fuzzy on it#yakuza kiwami spoilers#yakuza kiwami 2 spoilers
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Mildly high in the bathtub and feeling rambly.. I know from my blog/ao3 it seems like I'm one of the people that's deeply invested in RE men and ignores the girls, but I do love Claire so fucking much, probably not as much as I love Luis but more than I love Leon to be completely honest. It's just that I don't like her in the situations I like to write about. Hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, that's been my jam as long as I've been in fandom spaces. And I just don't enjoy the thought of Claire in situations like that. I love inserting Luis into as many fucked up scenarios as possible. I play other RE games he's not in and think "what if Luis was here and got traumatized more haha" but I don't do that in games without Claire because I prefer to think she's fine and thriving and not getting into fucked up scenarios. I play Darkside chronicles and Revelations 2 and love Claire so much but when i get to the end of the game the book closes for me, like "damn poor Claire went through a lot of shit, she deserves a good break" I'm not brainstorming ways to further torment her like I do with Leon and luis, i want her happy. But I also don't like writing happy fluff, again I've been mega into angst as long as I've been writing, and I've never enjoyed domestic fluff really. I only do fluff as the payoff for a bunch of angst. I have vague fluffy thoughts for hwo Claire's nice life could be unfolding, but they aren't thoughts i feel i need to flesh out and write down. And if i tried to write them, I'd be bored to death by the lack of angst and drama
And I know I've written Serrennedy fluff where they're okay and thriving so I should be able to do the same with Claire but it's very specific fluff with those two. It's them being parents because of all my daddy issues and trauma, I don't write fluff of them unless kids are involved. And I also don't see Claire as a parent. Like maybe to Sherry but that's special. (And i mean I usually imagine Leon as the one being Sherry's parent anyway) I've been struggling with the next chapter of wakin' up blind with the house on fire for a very long time and finally realized recently it's because something about it didn't feel quite right, a conversation where Claire tells Leon she's been thinking about having a kid too. Like it's sweet and appeals to my "almost every relative I have is either dead or shitty" trauma because it's claire saying she still sees leon as a brother and their kids will be like cousins, but it just doesnt feel right, I think she's makes more sense as the cool childfree aunt
Idk how to conclude this. Just. I enjoy women escaping traumatizing situations forever and being happy and like to actively put traumatized men through more trauma ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (i focused on claire bc she's my number 1 blorbo but i am fond of most of the other girls too and just don't do things focusing heavily on them for similar reasons. Especially rebecca after umbrella chronicles i was like actually i hope to god she isnt in another mainline game any time soon bc i do not want to see her suffer more girl's been through enoigh 😭 and while claire has also been thru enough and deserves a rest i want to see her in a mainline game again because I think it's really hot when she lifts heavy things and shoves heavy things and beats people up sorry)
#and i wish that i could bridge the gap and make more gif sets w claire/other gals so theyre more represented on my blog#but i play revelations 1 on my 3ds and rev2 on my switch so it literally isnt possible for me to screen record them. and since when i play#mainline re games its only once in a blue moon when my sibling lets me borrow their computer i have to prioritize what i want to do#and usually that means mostly luis stuff bc i can put him in fucked up situations. and then w the chronicles games the whole 1st person on#rails thing makes gif sets hard so while i have plans to make a few gif sets w the girls it still isnt as much content as i have for luis in#the pipeline.#also i dont like sexualizing the female characters as much. throw leon and luis into slutty outfits and silly animations and poses and im#there. very amused. but i don't like that w girls. as hot as claires rev2 cowgirl outfit is i don't like playing w it on. it feels wrong#also i guess i kinda fortot but i actually do write for annette a fair amount. most of it isn't posted but it exists#bc she can be a messy bitch and she gets killed off so my angst loving brain can do things w her i can't w claire
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so kusakabe and higuruma Megumi and fucking MEI MEI can survive but Mechamaru Nanako Mimiko and Mai had 2 die. Alright.
#JJK spoilers#Everytime I'm like ''i don't actually care that much I shouldn't be so negative'' I remember that Gege treats disabled characters like shit#And also fucking fumbled some of the characters with the MOST POTENTIAL (THE FUCKING NANAKO MIMIKO AND MAKI MAI PARALLELS)#Anyway I'm killing us allllllllll ❤️#Also I feel like the idea of ''strength'' is never really actually. Fully criticized like maybe I'll have clearer thoughts later but it's#Very much ''dont look down on the weak bc they might be strong'' instead of ''dont look down on the weak bc. They're human beings.''#And that just annoys me personally. Like Suguru is Wrong but the narrative doesn't actually Prove Him Wrong y'know. In the story#He's mostly wrong bc he's the antagonist not bc he's created a whole fucked up worldview as a deeply traumatized teen and then#Created a structure that was abusive not only to the ppl he didnt value but also the ppl he did and NEITHER GROUP IS GIVEN SUFFICIENT FOCUS#AAAAAAAAAGHHHH. <- guy who's interested in cults and cult abuse and wants to see fiction that actually reflects#How cult survivors are affected by said abuse and also recover. Can you tell I'm not over Nanako and Mimiko's deaths because they were#REALLY FUCKING INTERESTING CHARACTERS. CAN YOU. CAN YOU. CAN Y#Somehow everything I write Abt JJK ends up being about how I wish I could enter the story and crucify Geto. I hate that motherfucker#(he's was my first favorite character in the series and even tho he's been rightfully usurped he's genuine fascinating both in general and#Also specifically bc his character touches on some of my preexisting interests and also I feel like no one else understands him.#And when I say that I mean no one else wants to beat him to death with bricks and rocks and blunt weapons for the right reasons like I do)
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Me, an intellectual, scoffing at the theories for arcane s2 bc no one seems to understand the characters
#this is mostly a joke#mostly#but no seriously ive seen some rly stupid takes about how viktor will become the machine herald#yall treating him like he WANTS to continue fucking with the hexcore when he clearly says No Fuck That#man tries to destroy it and then asks Jayce to destroy *despite* the benefits the hexcore may have#so i don't think viktor would voluntarily fuck with it more unless theres like no other choice or forced/coerced to u know#also i dont think mel will die bc i remember one of the writers/directors saying we'll see more of her#not to mention framing at end of episode. sus#but if she does die then i guess i wouldn't be surprised if jayce becomes the stereotypical “grr! revenge revenge!” manly man bc i dont have#high hopes for his writing but i hope im proven wrong 😂#also not to mention the fact when jayce. you know. acted on that revenge need he killee and kid and immediately regretted it so.#not so sure how willing he is to do that again#arcane lol#pina talks#*whispers* idk if yall know this but usually it bad writing if you immediately revoke something you set up in the episode before
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I'm not going to pretend it doesn't make me angry that I spend months and years trying to peddle my work to make ends meet, that I spend so much time mentioning my books and comms and everything, and people ignore that consisently... But the moment I finally break under the hopelessness - when it's obvious that it's fucking futile, that almost no one deems my work good enough to share with anyone else - suddenly they're concerned and scolding me. I'm working several jobs, bathing, generally keeping things clean, and I do this with several health problems including chronic pain. I found out that one of my cysts is growing and I may need to have it surgically removed. Which means potentially missing work to recover. Which means more money I lose. I spend so much time crawling out of the hole and it goes ignored, but the moment I just give up bc I don't have any strength left, suddenly that's my fault and I'm mentally sick. And that kind of makes me wish my entire situation upon people, and when they whine that it's hard, well fuck you, you thought I could ace it so surely you can, babe! I hate being angry about this, but it's just so exhausting to tell people who accuse me of not trying that I HAVE I HAVE SO FUCKING HARD AND YOU DID NOT PAY ATTENTION THEN Or you know you're attempting to gaslight me by claiming I didn't try despite that I obviously have worked my ass off trying, and that's so much fucking worse
#mcalhen personal#and I'm not saying I'm not mentally ill but ffs stop using it as a weapon to discredit people when they have the solutions right there#feels like people hate my writing and me and that's why I didn't go “I got the job” bc friends who never support me would be like#“I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU CONGRATS” cool I'm not I spend an entire day usually recovering from very calm shifts at a job I like#but the moment I publish a book it's not congrats it's I don't know this guy I don't know Cal and I'm gonna pretend I never saw anything#I don't even hate my goddamn job even tho it can be stressful but it's the easiest thing for mostly just 2 days a week#but it is not sustainable and I cannot survive on this and disability would be invasive as hell and y'all don't know shit about how they#treat disabled people in this country but goddamn I have watched that shit unfold with my autistic brother who can't work#and I can never help him at this rate#bc I can't help myself#I can't help anyone#and saying that is a big fucking issue with people who think if they say 'it gets better keep going' I'll magically unfuck my life#as if I haven't spent the entirety of my life trying to unfuck things#as if I didn't give myself an education in spite of my family#y'all never been threatened with physical violence bc you weren't supposed to ask for school supplies and it fucking SHOWS#I have learned so many things on my own time out of sheer desire to better myself and my situation#but at a point where nothing works out and each day is just filled with more bad news#at what point am I actually allowed to give up?#or am I supposed to just keep this up until I die with 40 more years of collected bullshit pain#bc if you want me to live like this for 40 years then... you never cared at all#and what's so stupid is that I really want to earn my living by doing the work#I work on my art and writing but let's just admit that it's pathetic already#no mental health services or pills will erase that I'm a pathetic garbage can of uselessness#also I realize no one owes me anything like boosting my work or w/e#but also don't ask me to turn rotten ingredients into a feast and say I'm not trying when I can't fucking do it
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FINALLY finished my outline for prodigal son it’s going to end up way longer than i planned </3
#there’s so much i’m trying to get across without making it ridiculously long#i’m like. trying to make it clear that malc isn’t the driving force here#because he’s a bit older than jamie and jamie’s only eighteen and pretty sheltered so it could seem dodgy#and don't get me wrong i'm not going to NOT write something just because it's objectively shady especially for ttoi#but it’s not like malcolm swoops in and initiates everything. that wouldn't fit the characters#jamie’s a determined wee shit and he’s fucking relentless when he wants to be#it’s more a case of malcolm caving and agreeing to let him into His World as it were#and jamie’s always had this anger and this rebellious streak that leaves him susceptible to doing shady shit#he’s not a kid he’s making his own decisions malc’s just here for the ride#and also like. jamie SEEMS like he’s losing his faith at points but it’s actually getting stronger#i don’t want it to seem like he’s given up god for the sake of following malcolm#he’s just making peace with the fact that his god and the christian god don’t align too well#it's kind of like. malcolm is partly helping him be more honest and brave and do some good in the world#but he's also partly (mostly unknowingly) being a genuinely bad influence too#but all the bad shit jamie's going to end up doing comes from himself. it was already there#because i see jamie and malc as huge enablers for each other. it's their whole thing#and i think it's interesting to show them in my fic being (for the time) very radical and rebellious#and it stems from a genuine desire to a) do good in the world and help people and b) break themselves out of the working class bubble#but by the time they reach canon that has manifested into something quite horrible#their rebellion and radicalism is now used to do bad things that don't even justify the end goal anymore#and now they've broken out the working class bubble they're just playing into the toxic westminster mindset#because that's the only way you survive in the game (or at least in malcolm's case. he ends up with no spine)#because he's willing to abandon his principles if it keeps him and the party in power#and at some point down the line the good intentions get lost to his own ego and need for control#anyway i'm normal#ttoi
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I'm about to throw all my academic values overboard to get this fucking article done
#linguistics are my enemy#not because I don't like the subject#I'm just........ so much less at ease with this than with literary sciene oh my god#I'm so glad I can mostly focus on lit in the future but let me tell you these few linguistics articles I have/had to do have really brought#me to my limit#and I thought I was already fed up and not giving a shit when I did that one article in summer... oh I had NO IDEA how much less of a shit#was capable of giving!!!#the thing is.... I think objectively I'm still? idk not the worst I could technically be doing#like there ARE people who straight up... idk don't even try to have a research question or who don't read more than a handful or articles b#t ugh#I like academic writing so much and I love putting in the work and I love actually getting into the reseach and finding the most important#texts and writing a balanced and well researched article but ugh..... I just feel like I keep reaching my limits with linguistics#and this time is worse than the others because this topic is SO FAR from being standardized and all I can do is ???? mention that there's#like a hundred different models and then just??? choose one and go with it? which is so fucking unsatisfying#but I swear... everybody in this field is just making up a new model that's just different words for the same thing (and not in the /normal#way that science /always/ is about making up a new model. no. this time they are very unnecessarily making up new models)#ugh. everything about this sucks#I should've chosen a different seminar I should've chose a different topic and I especially should've written more of this in summer when I#technically still had a little more time#sorry for blowing up your dash with complaints this festive season lol. I am just having a time (TM) with the different writing tasks on my#hands and I need a place to vent I guess#simon.out.#sounds so drastic btw I'm not about to cheat or plagiarize or anything but I'm about to do so much less of a proper work than I ever wanted#to allow myself to do. cherrypicking and all.
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I miss having time to do stuff that wasn't just trying to catch up.
#I don't have the energy or time to answer any asks#or watch the new episode#or write my story#or do anything except try to keep up#it's no one's fault#but I'm still so exhausted after work#and it seems like it's getting worse#due to the cold and dark#plus work's been getting worse#due to fucking football#and holidays coming up#I hate working in food again#I miss having time to do stuff#I have these minor flashes of energy#(when I've consumed caffeine mostly)#but otherwise#I feel left out and lonely#and I miss having fun#I miss fun#I didn't even get to enjoy camping this weekend#with my mom#because I got a migraine#I don't want to be depressed#but it seems to be coming back despite my efforts
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oh shit yeah grimm and yarrow are exes to lovers huh
#tbf i don't rly think of my writing in tropes. even then exes to lovers doesn't cross my mind as often as friends- or enemies- to lovers#as in it's like. slightly less common? idfk i don't pay all that much attention to that. it's also not a trope i inherently jump at as#someone who personally does not find the thought of getting back with an ex remotely appealing#however. when my characters are stupid about these things...#i think it didn't cross my mind bc they don't. formally break up so i kinda forgot they're technically exes at the beginning of p2#it's like 'i need to fucking book it bc i killed a guy and his guys want my head for that but i'll come back [doesn't do that for. five#years and mostly comes back bc they're out of options]' not 'it's fucking over' yknow?#their relationship by the end of p1 is kind of funky though. it's absolutely romantic in nature but grimm is. kind of a mess bc it's got#this tension of wanting to simultaneously get close to someone and not let them in so the two of them actually don't get all that far?#they're both too afraid to have sex about it that's for sure#i'm not even sure what they call their relationship at that point either. for grimm's sake i don't think they'd really call it anything#in essence it ends with a lot of broken promises that weren't quite promises yknow?#if grimm hadn't booked it i think eventually the two of them might've sorted out their shit but also there's a v high chance grimm would've#fucked things over for good. actually now that i think about it they probably would have run off at some other point#i also think it's important for yarrow's development that grimm fucked off. gotta add some bitterness to that mixture there#you see the five years between p1 and p2 are essential for character development. they gotta marinate in who the fuck they are#make themselves a bit better. make themselves a bit worse. date someone else for a year or so. as it goes#i'm fully rambling here but. what the fuck ever that's what this blog is for#at all times i want to talk about my characters. i only occasionally find a way to make it into a post#grimmyarrow
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//i respect literally no one on tumblr except my mutuals on this blog specifically i'm so serious
#misc :: ( ooc )#//I LOVE YOU ALL YOU MAKE THIS DASH SO COZY#//I NEVER GET SICK OF HANGING OUT HERE#//you know those people who are like. ''you can't write with my male canons if you don't write with my female ocs''#//never understood them until now. so tempted to do that with this blog LMAO#//sorry you don't follow the south park blog so you get NO onceler and NO arcane!#//whenever i follow someone from all my blogs and they follow back every one but this one it immediately deletes my trust in them#//LIKE I HATE YOU I HAAAAATE YOU#//jk hate is maybe a strong word BUT I REALLY DON'T LIKE YOU A LOT#//i'm having a moment dw abt it#//half tempted to go on another blocking spree on the rest of my blogs DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT#//me @ my mutuals on other blogs: you can come back / get unblocked when you follow craig & tweek like you're supposed to#//jk (mostly) LMAO#//I JUST LOVE THESE LITTLE GUYS SM... ;;#//sometimes i doubt whether or not i'm actually autistic and then somebody refuses to engage with one of my special interests#//and i have such big intense violent emotions about it like okayyyy bitch calm down 😭#//if you ghost me when i bring up my special interest or don't follow my special interest blog#//or tell me to my face (DMs) that you ~don't fuck with it~ then i don't like youuuu!! I DON'T LIKE YOU!!#//which is why everybody on this blog is safe and i am giving you the biggest gesture of affection you are personally comfortable with#//on the scale of respectful fist bump to tongue full in mouth you get to decide 🥰
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