#mostly father issues

[3c0ra-zon3]

Let's talk about the psychological effects of a parent counting down the days till they can charge you rent and constantly feeling like a guest in your house, it's never been a home and it never will be.

[conanssummerchild]

writing a fic abt rick having an ed bcs why would i recover when i can just project all my issues onto fictional old men in cartoons and pretend everythings better now ‼️

tw eating disorder, minor self harm and vomit near the end

Morty stopped in the open doorway of the garage, watching Rick who was sat scribbling down some kind of invention idea, or equation, or whatever it was he did when Morty wasn't around, for all Morty knew he might well be writing fanfiction.

An involuntary smile pulled at his lips at the idea of his almost 70 year old genius grandfather spending his free time writing silly little stories at his work bench. What would he even write? Ball Fondlers fanfic? Maybe he wrote about his stoic bird friend, Rick had always been touchy with him and Rick wasn't touchy with anyone.

When Morty focused back on Rick he wasn't writing anymore, the slightly crumpled piece of paper shoved to the side as he fiddled with what looked like a small metal box with a bunch of brightly coloured wires poking out of the sides. A small spark shot out of one of the wires Rick was holding and he cursed loudly, shaking his hand.

"Fuck, Morty, are you just gonna– gonna stand there, or are you gonna pass me the fucking, uh– the thing."

Rick waved his hand in the general direction of the shelf nearest to Morty, but there were so many assorted trinkets on the shelves, Morty had no idea if Rick wanted a wrench, or a hammer, or one of his laser guns, maybe the box was like a new battery for them?

"W-what thing, Rick?"

"The thing, Morty! The fucking– the uh, destornillador."

"What? Rick, I don't know what that means. W-w-what is that?"

"Jeez, Morty, what are they teaching you at that crap school you love so much?" Rick scowled, tossing the box to the side and getting up to grab the screwdriver himself.

"I havent been to school in like a month, Rick!" Morty exclaimed. "And even then I only got to stay for like an hour before you were dragging me out again!"

"Whatever." Rick said with a burp, "School's dumb, Morty. I'll teach you Spanish myself. B-but, uh, not now."

He turned back to his box, done with the conversation, but Morty stayed hovering in the room, remembering what he had come for in the first place.

"Okay, um, w-w-well lunch is ready."

"I'm busy."

Morty sighed, having expected that answer already. "When's the last time you ate, Rick? Or slept? Or... showered?" Morty said, wrinkling his nose a little.

Rick ignored him, pulling at a blue wire.

"Rick!" Morty frowned.

"What, Morty? J-jesus christ, what the fuck do you want?"

"I want you to have lunch with the family."

"And I said no, so screw off."

"Rick, come on, it would make mom so happy."

Rick glared at him, not bothering with an answer.

"...Wouldn't y-you do it for your original Beth if you could?" Morty tried.

Rick slammed the box on the table, causing the thin metallic shell to crack, sparks flying from it, the sudden noise making Morty jump.

"The fuck did you just say?" Rick snarled.

"S-s-sorry!" Morty squeaked. "I didn't m-mean– mean it in a bad way!"

"Get the fuck out." Rick said icily, eyes blazing.

Morty stumbled out of the room, shutting the door behind him to the sound of something crashing. Probably Rick throwing the damaged box across the room.

Morty winced. In his defense he was worried about Rick, and sometimes, depending on his mood, something like that would've gotten Rick to cave, clearly he wasn't feeling so sentimental today, more annoyed and angry.

"What was that about?"

Morty startled a little and turned to see Summer looking at her phone behind him.

"Just, y'know, Rick being... Rick."

"Mhm, pro tip, don't bring up his dead daughter to try and blackmail him into something he hates." Summer drawled. "You can only do that if he's already half convinced, or if he's feeling especially depressed sometimes.

"Summer! That's– that's messed up!"

She quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah, so only you can manipulate grandpa Rick?" Summer scoffed. "God forbid women do anything." She said sarcastically and turned to walk away.

"Wait!" Morty fidgeted with his hands. "Can you... help me? To get him to have lunch w-with us? Please?"

"Yes, but not now. He's already upset so if we double down on trying to get him to eat he's only gonna clam up."

Morty nodded. "I know that– but how do you? You don't spend as much time with Rick as I do."

"Because he's like mom. Who do you think got her to stop drinking before parent-teacher conferences at school?"

"Wow. That's pretty fucked up that you had to do that, though, y'know, Summer."

"Yeah, well, we're the Smiths, Morty. Is anyone in this house not disordered?"

Morty winced at the blunt statement, Rick really was rubbing off on her. But it was kind of true.

"Guess it runs in the family." He muttered

"Guess it does."

---

Morty hadn't been planning on seeing Rick again until the next day. He knew that when Rick got upset he needed his space. Morty didn't quite get it because when he was upset all he wanted was for someone to hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay, but Rick wasn't like him he supposed.

If he was being honest it made him nervous to leave Rick alone in those bad headspaces he got into. Rick was volatile and unpredictable and a borderline danger to himself and often others. He'd walked in on a couple... compromising situations where Rick had had to explain away why he was passed out in his chair or why there was blood on his hands and his lab coat despite being the only person in the room.

Morty pretended to believe him when he said he had been doing a messy dissection experiment or that "This isn't blood, this is Balorkian dust I mixed with red Squanchenite fluid from Planet Squanch, Morty." But truthfully those moments haunted him.

However, he didn't want to invade Rick's space, so he let him be and tried to eat and sleep until Rick emerged like nothing had happened, even though Morty knew what habits of his went on behind those closed doors.

Of course Morty's patience had it's limits, like when two hours after he had left Rick in the garage, angry, there was the sound of something smashing, closely followed by an unmistakable sound that Morty had grown too familiar with since Rick had moved in. The sound of a body thudding to the ground.

He was up from the sofa in a flash, at the garage door before Summer could even put down her phone, flinging it open.

He felt like he couldn't breathe, but the only sight that greeted him was a smashed bottle and rick lying on the floor next to it, not looking any more dead than usual, looking up at Morty blearily, cracking a smile.

"Oh, hi Morty. H-hey buddy." He slurred, clearly drunk out of his mind.

"Jesus fucking christ, Rick." Morty said weakly.

"What happened?" Summer breathed, now standing at his side.

"He's just drunk." Morty muttered, wrinkling his nose at the overpowering smell that he hadn't registered before between his state of panic and shallow breathing.

Summer ventured into the garage, picking up an empty bottle and sniffing it. "God, grandpa Rick, what the hell are you drinking in here, fucking rubbing alcohol?"

"Sum-Sum! 'M just having some– some fun drinks. Fun drinks just a lil' bit. Besides I only ever drank rub-rubbin' alcohol once, n' it was– tasted like shit."

"What? I was being sarcastic, why would you drink that?"

"Because I was sad... was sad 'nd lonely after B-b-blood Ridge, couldn't find anythin' else. But 'm not s-sad now."

"What's Blood Ridge?" Summer frowned, "Actually it doesn't matter right now, you need to sober up."

"Get him some water," Morty interjected. "I'll clean up the glass. I also know where he keeps all his hangover serums and stuff, but he told me not to let you into any of his drug stashes."

"Fair enough." Summer shrugged, leaving to get Rick some much needed water.

While she was gone, Morty felt along the wall until he found the small hidden panel under Rick's desk. He fished out the light blue vial of fluid for hangovers, the red one he'd forced Rick to make that would sober him up and a green one that basically equivalated to getting your stomach pumped if you took it, just in case he'd taken more than just alcohol.

He shut the panel securely and placed the three coloured vials on Rick's work bench, grabbing a purple tube-like gadget from a shelf. He pressed a button on the back of it and typed in "Broken Glass" on a small hologram keyboard that emerged, then pressed that first button again. A blue ray shot out, scanning the garage, and the pieces of smashed bottle disappeared in a matter of seconds.

Morty looked over at Rick, who was still lying on the floor, but now he was tracing his fingers along a crack in the cold ground, his expression so solemn he almost looked sober.

"Rick?" Morty asked hesitantly.

"I miss her." He said flatly. "I miss her s-so much."

His words were still a little slurred but his tone had lost all the previous levity.

"I tried to save her, Morty, I t-t-tried, but I couldn't bring her back. And no one could ever replace her." A rough sob escaped his throat. Morty felt frozen. "I'm a crappy fuckin'– piece of shit father but I didn't want to be. I was gonna fuckin' give– give up everything for them, and I would've been happy. I would've been so happy as long as I had them, but he fuckin' took that from me! I nnever even got a chance."

Rick was crying, he was crying so hard that his tears stained the concrete dark grey and snot ran down his face sideways. He was shaking like a leaf and gasping for air.

Morty crouched down next to him, fists clenching and unclenching, unsure if he should hug Rick, or if that would make it worse. What else could he do?

"Oh– oh shit, Rick, I–"

"My little girl, my baby." Rick continued between sobs. "She meant everything to me. S-so yeah, I would be better f-for her if I could, but she's gone. There's no point."

Rick's sudden fit of violent sobs was calming down, replaced by a look that Morty could only describe as pure hoplessness and defeat washing over his features.

"'S no point in anything."

Shit, this was bad. Rick didn't admit defeat, and he certainly didn't talk so openly about his feelings like this.

"Aw jeez, Rick, come on don't– don't– don't say that. we killed Rick Prime, remember?" Morty said, wringing his hands anxiously.

"Yeah, I remember." Rick said, tone now devoid of emotion. "I remember killin' him with my bare hands, watchin' the life drain out of his eyes as his blood dripped down my fists. And I remember nothing changing. W-w-what d'ya do when you achieve your life long goal and nothin's better? It didn't bring them back, it didn't– didn't give me closure or give me a reason to live. I still can't sleep, petrified he's in the fucking house, comin' for my new family, that he'll kill all of you to teach me that t-that's what happens when I-I care about people."

Rick wiped his face with his lab coat sleeve, rubbing away the snot, drool and dried tears while Morty just kneeled next to him, frozen and unsure what to say.

"Rick..." he started but then Summer stepped through the doorway and Rick's demeanour instantly changed.

"Summerfest!" he called out and Morty watched, a little shocked, as Rick's whole face changed in the blink of an eye, going back to the cheerful, goofy expression he'd been wearing when he and Summer first came in. It didn't look artificial to Morty at all, even now that he knew it was. How could Rick just switch it on and off just like that?

"I brought water and coffee." Was all Summer said, placing two mugs on the workbench. "And a cereal bar."

The second statement sounded a little more unsure and Morty could've sworn he saw Rick's jaw clench for a second.

"Gimmie coffee." Rick said, making grabby hands, still lying on the floor.

"Water first." Summer replied, handing him the larger of the two mugs.

Rick pouted a little but as soon as the mug was in his hands he drank thirstily, finishing the whole thing in one go.

"You want more?" Summer asked, taking the mug, but he just shook his head quietly.

"Okay," Morty cleared his throat when his voice came out a little shaky. "drink this."

He handed Rick the red 'get sober' vial and Rick chugged it obediently, making a face. "Tastes like– like shit." He offered.

While he seemed a little calmer after the water and serum, his eyes were still unfocused and his voice sounded thick, like his tongue didn't fit in his mouth properly, hints of his accent were slipping through too.

"Did you- are you on drugs r-right now?" Morty asked, reaching for the green vial of serum.

"Maybe." Rick mumbled. His eyelids were starting to droop a little and he curled up more comfortably on the floor.

"Hey, Rick, don't go to sleep okay? What did you take?" Summer asked, crouching down next to him, shaking him a little. He groaned. "Come on, we just have to make sure you're not overdosing and then you can sleep. Maybe not on the floor."

"'M not overdosing." Rick grumbled.

"What did you take?"

"I dunno. Just some random alien drugs I found i-in my pocket." He said dismissively with a burp. "Actually one of 'em was probably adderall. Look at me bein' all responsible an-and takin' my meds n' shit."

He of course immediately showed his 'responsibilty' by gagging and then throwing up on the floor.

Morty winced, reaching for the purple device again while Summer tried to coax him into drinking the green liquid, frowning deeply.

Finally Rick gave in, sipping from the small vial, and almost instantly his eyes began to clear up a little bit.

"Why'd I make these work so well?" He groaned. Then, "My head is killing me, I want coffee."

Summer passed him the second mug and he gestured toward the hangover serum, which Morty promptly passed to him and Rick poured it in his coffee.

He gulped down half the coffee and sighed, wiping his mouth with his already rather dirty sleeve. "Fuck, that's better."

He downed the rest of it and placed the mug on the ground, getting to his feet shakily. He swayed and nearly fell, leaning onto the wall to steady himself as the dizzy spell passed, and then stretched, his back cracking loudly.

He took a few wobbly steps towards the door but Summer blocked the way.

"Fuck– fuck off Summer I gotta– I'm gonna go take a nap."

"Could you maybe eat something first?" She asked firmly, holding up the cereal bar.

"No."

Rick tried to sidestep her but she blocked the way again.

"Summer, don't fucking piss me off right now, I'm serious."

She stood her ground. "Just eat the cereal bar, grandpa Rick. Please."

"Summer, for fuck's sake, I said no!"

"Grandpa," She sighed, the arm holding the bar dropping defeatedly back down to her side. "Do you have an eating disorder?"

The garage was deathly quiet for a second.

"Wha-What?! I'm not a teenage girl in a f-f-f– goddamn netflix drama, Summer." Rick snarled. "What the fuck kinda question is that?"

He gestured wildly, taking another step forwards, which quickly seemed to be the wrong option as a sudden wave of dizziness hit him hard, making him almost loose his balance. He blindly tried to grab onto the back of his chair somewhere behind him, but missed and fell on his ass.

"Rick!" Morty and Summer both rushed to his side, Morty's eyes beginning to well up a little from all the stress of the day.

"I'm fine, don't– don't fucking touch me." He said, shaking Summer's hand off his shoulder, which caused another wave of nausea to hit.

"Please eat this." Summer said nervously, voice shaking as she pushed the cereal bar into his left hand, his right one gripping at his hair.

"Summer, I promise you if I eat that shit right now I'm gonna throw the fuck up."

"Please?" Morty pouted, eyes big and teary.

All it took was one look at him, and with only a brief moment of hesitation Rick snatched the cereal bar from Summer, muttering angrily under his breath.

Morty only caught "Me cago en la puta." and "Maldito cabrón." which he more or less understood, more familiar with swear words than any other words in the Spanish language.

Rick peeled away the wrapper slowly with unsteady hands and took a small bite.

Morty and Summer watched in silence, not wanting to discourage him by saying the wrong thing—which with Rick could be anything—as Rick uncomfortably ate the cereal bar.

"There you fucking go." He said weakly, Throwing the now empty wrapper at Summer, but missing as it was too light to travel more than a couple centimetres, landing somewhere by his feet.

"Thank you." Summer almost whispered.

They sat in silence for a while, Morty sniffling and rubbing at his eyes and Summer shuffling a bit closer to him for both of their comfort.

Rick was sitting with his knees losely bent and his head braced in his hands, trying to overcome another hit of nausea.

He wouldn't exactly say he tried super hard to keep the cereal bar down, but it wasn't deliberate when he vomited it down the front of his shirt.

"Oh! Aw jeez..." Morty winced.

"I did warn you."

"In our defense, you had every reason to be lying to us."

"Fuck you, Summer." It sounded weak even to his own ears.

She sighed softly.

"Morty, get his shirt off. Do you have pijamas or do you sleep in jeans and a lab coat?"

"Jeans an-and a lab coat."

"...I was joking, but okay." Summer said, flipping the switch that opened Rick's garage closet and grabbing one of his sets of identical outfits.

Rick squirmed, making noises of complaint as Morty tried to take off his current shirt.

"Rick– stay still, you have vomit on your clothes."

"I'm not fucking two years old, Morty." He scowled. "I can change by myself."

Rick tried to sit up but wobbled and then slumped back against the wall, needing more time to recover. Morty reached for his shirt again and this time Rick let him pull it carefully up over his head without resisting. Morty took the new set of clothes from where Summer had left them on the floor next to him.

Summer wasn't looking but Morty still shielded Rick's body from sight with his own, pointedly not mentioning the raised scars and jagged, angry, red cuts littering his arms which he had already suspected would be there.

Rick shifted uncomfortably, seeming relieved when Morty didn't want to talk about it.

"Okay." Morty said, helping Rick pull on his clean lab coat too.

"I'm going to bed." Rick grumbled, not waiting for him to continue, just getting up slowly.

He felt weak and shaky and his brittle old bones weren't exactly helping out. Despite his thousands of cybernetic implants he was still human, much to his dismay, and he couldn't treat his body as badly as he did when he was 30. Not that that ever seemed to stop him, managing to still maintain the same shitty habits he'd had for years at the ripe age of 67.

He stumbled through the dining room, Morty and Summer trailing after him, not discouraged by the glare he sent their way.

As soon as he reached his room, he slumped onto his bed with a groan.

"R-rick?"

"Fuck off, Morty." He snapped into his pillow, a little muffled by it.

Morty hesitated, exchanging a glance with Summer, who shrugged.

"...Ookay, Rick. Uh, see– see you at dinner, today? maybe?'

"Don't count on it."

Summer frowned, Starting to say something, but Rick interrupted, "I'm gonna apply my room's Lock Protocols in ten seconds, so i-if you're still in here, I'm not letting you out until I'm done sleeping. A-a-and if you're standing in the doorway, you're gonna get fucking squashed in the doors."

"Whatever, Rick, fuck you too." Summer huffed, pulling Morty out of the doorway with her.

"Room, activate Sensory Protocol 2. And t-tell Summer to go fuck herself."

"Sensory Protocol 2 activated." Came the mechanical voice and a heavy metal door snapped shut. "Go fuck yourself, Summer."

Summer scoffed. "Dick." Followed by a sigh. "What are we gonna do?"

"I-I don't know." Morty admitted. "There's not much we can do if Rick won't accept help. And he won't."

"So what? We just give up on him?" Summer asked accusingly, putting her hands on her hips.

"No, Summer, J-jeez. I just– We're gonna have to get creative."

"Fuck."

---

thats it thats the end i didnt know how tf to end this but my goal wasnt to rewrite like the bible idfk it was just to put rick through shit and put completely unfair expectations on summer and mortys shoulders so that they could ALL suffer in this fic !! :3 also this is so mf long i sincerely apologise if u read all that

[taradactyls]

Desperately and urgently need to know—what adaptation’s actors do you picture for TTTW? (Thanks!)

I actually don't picture any actors most of the time! Sometimes when I'm writing a line I remember the actors saying it, and if I'm worried something is too ooc a good litmus test is whether I can imagine the actors from the 1995 and 2005 adaptions saying/doing it.

But otherwise I have my own interpretations in my head which I've never been able to capture on paper - maybe I'll try again soon.

...

(but perhaps my most controversial opinion in this fandom is that as far as actors and not acting/characters go is that I only ever had a crush on Matthew MacFayden... it's the height and the voice. And maybe it's my age but as GREAT a Darcy as Colin Firth is he was firmly father-figured coded to me long before I watched 1995's P&P so though I adore his Darcy I only ever swooned over the romance as a whole and not him personally. That's right, sopping wet see-through-shirt Darcy at Pemberley does nothing for me. I'm ashamed to admit it.)

[allovesthings]

On one hand, there are a lot of things in Titans (1999) that are not that great but, on the other, I do think this comic is one of my favorites when it comes to the dynamic of the fab five and their relationship with each other (the moment when all of them are dreaming and stuck is theirs younger self for example).

Also this comic is the one who made me want to read more of Roy. He is genuinely great in it. So I think that's a plus.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Roku: *has multiple opportunities to confess to Ta Min but never FUCKING TAKES IT*

Me: If I was Kyoshi I would've ripped through the walls of the Spirit World and just fucking suplexed you until you stopped breathing.

[normalbrothers]

i think the only people tommy would actually assault are old dudes who remind him of his dad, it's not like he is any way normaler. in fact he once more wins out for having the most bizarre complexes out of everyone else

[submarinerwrites]

okay. confession time. i might’ve been bitten by the white collar/dc comics crossover bug.

[supermarine-silvally]

Yara, was there ever someone who was crushing on you but whose feelings you did not return?

"A couple years ago, there was this one in particular. We had this new, er, "recruit." He was irritating, and stubborn, and such an arrogant, cocky little jerk towards the rest of the crew-- including Pops-- yet every time I was in his vicinity, his cheeks would turn the most vibrant shade of red, and he'd get strangely shy and stumble over his words. I used to catch him staring at me with this stupid look on his face. And then this... incident happened. ...You likely know the rest of the story."

Ask Yara (or any of my OCs) anything!

[parasitoidism]

junpei kanji eikichi nanjo . You understand

[ljesaw]

i like writing young fire lord zuko because he's still grappling with his identity and he's still in the trenches of his trauma and unlearning the harm done to him and the harm he's done. and something i think is so important for someone who is going through that is that it's not just BAM he's redeemed and he's changing everything for the better and it's perfect. i think it's just as important to highlight zuko's conflict with trying not to Be Like Ozai as it is for people to be wary of zuko because He Is Zuko. like i think he's struggling both with taking up his father's horrible mantle but also with the name he's created for himself. because not only is it "zuko is a victim and he's trying to heal" but it's also "zuko was horrible and he has to reconcile that side of himself with who he wants to be going forward" and that's not easy

[irritablepoe]

i really want to drink but hhhhh i'm trying to built a healthy habit here

[diari0deglierrori]

I’m also tired of being angry all the time. I used to bottle up all my feelings but now my rage is too much to be contained so I just explode… a lot

[malledhrim]

the way that ratonhnhaké:ton keeps working with haytham even though he doesn't agree with how haytham does almost anything, and even though haytham calls him a naive child at every opportunity. the way he doesn't shrug off haytham's hand on his shoulder like he does with anyone else he's not close to. the way he spent the last eight years focused on destroying the templar leaders, including grand master haytham, and then hopes there's a way to unite the assassins and the templars. the way achilles instantly knows this hope comes from meeting haytham. the way ratonhnhaké:ton only stops working with haytham when he finds out haytham was keeping things from him about the burning of his village and his mother's death. the way he said "oppose me and i will kill you" and still thought that with lee out of the way there may be some way to reconcile with haytham. the way he wanted to spare haytham until the end, but haytham gave him no choice. do you see what i'm saying

[its-queenofthesilence]

I Cannot Live Without My Soul! Part 6 of ?

Notes:

Have some AndrAIa lore dump that while be relevant in this story but also not because I may or may not have planned a sequel. Or 5.... Also Megabyte being a grump, lmao.

PLEASE NOTE: Going forward, this is going to be edited in a way to remove stuff that violates the TOS. Nothing super graphic just smut basically. I know we have mature filters but I am not sure how Tumblr feels about smut so. Things removed will be replaced with blackouts or redacted, if you would like to read the uncensored version, please see the FF.net or A03 (Recommended) link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57835603/chapters/147208144

Chapter 6: You Cannot Fix What Is Not Wrong

Enzo Raphael Matrix(1) was bored. He had been scared initially when he had been throw into the holding cells, worried for his friends and family. But you could only be scared for so long before it gave way to other feelings. Anger, resentment, acceptance. Now he was just bored.

It had been a cycle, and he had nothing to do but bother the troops guarding his cell for attention, much to their annoyance. Feet against the wall, laying upside down on the bed with his head hanging off, he was whining as he repeatedly tapped his foot against the wall.

“Will you stop that!”

It was more of a request than a demand from the binome with a mustache that he can’t remember is called Chancy or Custard. He thinks it’s Custard.

“I’m Bored.” he said simply, refusing to stop tapping the wall.

‘Custard’ let out an scream, his sanity slowly whittled into nothingness every moment he was left in charge of this kid. "You're our prisoner, not our guest. You don't exactly get to be entertained."

Enzo (1) rolled his eyes, the tapping increasing in speed. "Come on Custard, can't you at least let me out for a bit? I promise I won't try to escape or anything."

Chancy let out another small scream, barely contained behind clenched teeth. Or what equated as teeth for a binome."For the last time, it's Chancy! And absolutely not, I'm not letting you out of that cell. You're a prisoner, how many times do I need to tell you?!”

Enzo (1) let out an exaggerated sigh, finally relenting on the incessant tapping. "But I’m boreeeed.” he repeated, whining.

Chancy shot Enzo (1) an exasperated look. "Well, you're just going to have to deal with it. You're lucky we're keeping you alive at all."

Enzo (1) crossed his arms, pouting petulantly. "This is so unfair. I didn't do anything wrong!"

"You're associated with the Guardian and those other troublemakers," Chancy retorted. "That's reason enough as far as Lord Megabyte is concerned."

The copy opened his mouth to argue further, but was cut off by the sound of the door to the holding cells sliding open. Both he and Chancy turned to see another Binome stride in. A bit portly around the middle with a fading hairline, the other man seemed tired.

“Captain! Please tell me you have new orders. Anything but guard duty.” ‘Custard’ begged.

“‘Fraid not, Lord Megabyte still hasn’t ordered any attacks yet.”

“Still? It’s been a cycle since he took over the Principal’s Office and still no plan for wiping the rebels out?”

“No, I heard from some others that he’s been having Herr Doktor run tests on him; something wrong with his code apparently.”

“What about Megabreath?” Chancy breathed in once, then exhaled slowly. He knew he had been given strict orders not to kill the kid but that was becoming harder by the second.

“Nothing that concerns you kid! I swear to the User, I am going to delete you.” he growled, walking right up to the energy field separating them. Enzo (1) just started tapping the wall again with his foot causing the man to scream.

“Lieutenant, what’s the issue? The Lord told us to leave them alive.” The captain said, irritated. If there was one person not cut out to be a Neo-Viral, it was Chancy. The man had no sense of keeping cool and collected. Yet Megabyte kept him around for some reason.

“He’s being annoying!” the man gritted out to his superior.

“So take a walk solider, they’re not going anywhere. Honestly, use your head!”

The pair walked off, leaving Enzo alone with his thoughts. If he was big and smart like his bigself, he would try to break out. But he was just a small sprite with nothing to help him escape. Sighing, he sat up on the bed and turned to look over at Phong.

Megabyte had either been kind enough, or didn’t care enough to put both sprites in a shared cell. It made him feel a bit better. Phong however had been quiet the last few days. Medics had been in to stabilize him and make sure he didn’t just delete program (Megabyte needed him alive, other wise he wouldn’t have bothered) but the elderly sprite seemed lost in thought almost.

"Phong?" Enzo called out hesitantly. "Are you ok?"

The sprite in question slowly lifted his head, his wise eyes meeting Enzo's. "I am as well as can be expected, my child," he replied wearily.

"Do you think the others will come for us?" Enzo asked, a glimmer of hope in his voice.

Phong let out a heavy sigh. "I am certain they are doing all they can to mount a rescue. But Megabyte has the entire Principal Office locked down. I fear it may not be so simple."

“Is that why you are so quiet? ‘Cause you’re scared of what’s going to happen?”

“I will admit, I am afraid but no young sprite. I apologize, I have been thinking.”

“‘Bout what?”

Phong paused. He didn’t know how to tell it to such a young sprite, or if he should at all. There were just somethings that Enzo shouldn’t know about yet.

He’s worried for the others yes, but he’s more worried about Dot and extension AndrAIa. He thinks back to the Wedding, what would have happened if Bob had not shown up. The Wedding Night.

Despite insistence that he had standards, the old vector sprite couldn’t help but worry that in his pursuit for revenge, the virus intended to harm the pair more than just torture and deletion. He remembers the look on the Viruses face, looking at ‘that’ video file. He had not been able to see the entire video (or the other one really) from where he had laid but he had seen enough to know what the virus was looking at.

If he was capable of torture, mayhem and destruction, why not [REDACTED]?

Phong let out a heavy sigh. "I do not wish to worry you, my child. These are simply an old man's concerns. Let us have faith that our friends will find a way to rescue us."

Enzo nodded, though he could see the worry etched on Phong's face. The elderly sprite was always so calm and collected, to see him this unsettled was also unsettling for Enzo.

“Phong?” he asked timidly, pressing his back against the cell wall.

“Yes, my child?”

“What’s a ‘whore?”

To say he was angry would be an understatement. He was enraged, infuriated, rabid, incensed; he could go on. With a snarl, he over turned a gurney that had been shoved into the corner of the Medical Bay, not able to contain his anger.

A cycle of scans and tests, and still no answer to his problem. In the mean time, his plans for vengeance had been put on the back burner as he tried to deal with the increasing need for AndrAIa her that had been building within him. The virus, nor the doctor by extension, had not been able to sleep properly in a week, his body overworked and overtired.

Every thought was now related to the Game Sprite in some way, shape, or form and he couldn’t take it anymore. He felt like he was going to explode.

“I thought I told you to find the problem!”

Herr Doktor who up until now had been trying his best not to nod off from lack asleep, found himself wide awake as he became the target of Megabyte's outburst, quickly backing away from the fuming virus, still holding the .doc file that contained the results of the most recent scan.

"I apologize, mein Herr! I'm trying mein best. If you could tell me vhat I am looking for..."

“I told you! Any changes in my code!” The virus reached down to pick up the doctor by his neck and began to squeeze; not enough to harm him but to state his dissatisfaction.

"A-ah, mein König, Maybe ve should start vith your symptoms rather than lo-looking at your code. It vay be easier." choked the Binome, struggling to breath a bit.

By now, the mad scientist had gotten out of his lord that something had happened when he encountered the Game Sprite in the hallways of the Principal’s Office. Unfortunately, his lord was reluctant or unwilling to provide any more detail than that.

With a snarl, Megabyte dropped the smaller creature, allowing him to quickly scurry backwards and out of grabbing range. The virus puzzled for a moment, debating the idea. Herr Doktor was probably right, starting with symptoms would probably be easier, or at least give them somewhere to start.

"Very well, let's start there then. What would you like to know?" he asked, trying to reign in his temper.

Herr Doktor straightened his rumpled lab coat, clearing his throat nervously. "Vell, for starters, vhat exactly happened vith the Game Sprite? You mentioned something...unusvual occurred between you two."

The virus paused, his clawed fingers tapping against his chin as he considered how much to reveal. "It was...strange," he began slowly. "There was a burst of light that came from her that began flowing into me, causing me- us, to glow. I've never experienced anything like it before."

Herr Doktor's eyes widened, taking a moment to jot something down on his organizer.

“Vhat else Mein Herr?”

Megabyte's brow furrowed as he tried to put into words the strange sensations he had felt. "It was...odd. The light only lasted mere nanoseconds but when it was gone, I felt a surge of emotions that I've never experienced before - a sense of contentment, even happiness.”

He paused, a look of frustration crossing his face. "But it didn't last. As soon as the hacker intervened and she fled, the feeling faded leaving me feeling…I don’t know. Now I just feel...off. Unbalanced, in a way I can't quite describe."

Herr Doktor nodded thoughtfully, jotting down more notes. "Interesting. And have you noticed any other changes? Anything physical or in your behavior that is out of the ordinary?"

Megabyte frowned, thinking back to the previous cycle. "I've found myself...distracted, in a way I'm not accustomed to. My concentration has been poor, and I find my thoughts constantly returning to AndrAIa." He let out a frustrated growl. "It's maddening. I can't seem to focus on anything else."

A look passed over the Doctor’s face, one that Megabyte couldn’t place. It was a look that was part confusion, that he understood, but also part something else, like the doctor knew something he didn’t.

“What?” he barked, the need for answers overwhelming.

“What do you feel when you think about her?”

“What? What does that that have to do with anything? I already told you, content. What more do you want?”

Herr Doktor shifted uncomfortably under Megabyte's piercing gaze, but pressed on. "Mein Herr, humvor me. In detail.”

“Fine! Happy, warmth, like I am able to infect the entire net at once, like I am going mad because I cannot bare the thought of her not being near!”

Herr Doktor's eyes widened as Megabyte rambled off his symptoms in increasing frustration. He hesitated for a moment, pondering how to broach this delicate topic.

"Mein Herr, I believe...I believe what you are experiencing may be a form of..."

He paused, trying to find the right words. "Infatuation. Perhaps even...love."

There was silence, and then, a deep guttural laugh that sent chills down the Doktor’s spine. He knew his lord enough to know what kind of laugh this was. This was not an amused laugh like when someone said something he thought was funny (usually revolving around Dot Matrix) or one done out of politeness. This was a laugh that meant someone had done or said something so stupid, that it infuriated the lord to no ends.

Megabyte's laughter rang out, dripping with derision and contempt. "What did you say?” he hissed. The claws, while now always out do to his new form, seemed to extend further as fury overcame his face.

Herr Doktor swallowed nervously, realizing he may have made a mistake. "M-mein Herr, I’m not saying that’s w—what it is! I was just speculating!”

The virus didn’t bother to grab the doctor again, instead choosing to tower over him before leaning down and getting inches away from his face.

"You dare to suggest that I, the great Megabyte, am capable of something as pathetic and weak as love?!"

Herr Doktor cowered under Megabyte's furious glare, his metal frame shaking with fear. "N-no, my lord! Of course not! Please, forgive me for overstepping!"

Snarling, Megabyte grabbed the doktor once more and threw him into the wall, causing the smaller man to scream in pain and terror.

With a roar the virus began to destroy anything he could get his hands on. Megabyte was in a full blown rage, destroying everything in sight. Overturned medical carts, glass vials, the wiring in the walls - nothing was safe from his fury.

The doctor cowered against the wall, trying to make himself as small as possible as Megabyte's rampage continued. He knew better than to try and intervene - the virus was far too volatile in this state. All he could do was wait and pray that the outburst would pass quickly, and without him being a target.

After what felt like an eternity, Megabyte finally seemed to run out of steam, coming to a stop and panting heavily. Silence filled the air, one man too afraid to speak and the other lost in thoughts.

“Herr Doktor?”

“…Yes, m-mein herr?”

“I won’t delete you today, but don’t you ever suggest something so stupid again because I can promise you I will make your deletion a painful one. Understood?” The virus never looks at him, eyes fixated on an invisible target only he can see.

'“J-Ja.”

“Good. Now have the men prepare my limousine, it’s time I had a chat with the Game Sprite.”

Breathe in,

Breath Out,

Smile brightly, nod politely.

Don’t think about him it.

Everything is okay.

I mean, who cared if she had barely slept in a week, was avoiding her friends at any chance she got and was struggling to not to spiral into a episode self-hatred and depression?

As she walked the halls of the base, she gave small waves and hellos to the people working, trying to not notice the way they stared at her.

Like they had always stared.

“..Freak…”

“..not trustworthy..”

“..dangero-”

She can hear them all speaking about her. It’s nothing new. She has always been an outsider in this place. But now since the incident in the Med-Bay and rumors getting out about what happened in the P.O. (Thanks to Mike the TV who had been ever so kind to listen in on her and her friends and then spread the information like wildfire.) it had been worse than usual.

She hadn’t felt this isolated than ever; not even when she was in actual isolation. She stops and hisses, pushing the thought away. She wasn’t going to think of that place, it was behind her.

She shakes her head and continues forward, moving throughout the halls of the base and into the main chamber where her friends were gathered around a table. She can practically taste the tension in the air. She tries to hide her tiredness (And the thoughts of teeth on her neck) but finds it hard.

Everyone was confused about why Megabyte had not attacked yet and subsequently, was on guard. He had been radio silent the last cycle and aside from the ABCs protecting the Principal’s Office, there was no indication that he was even in Mainframe. He had made no appearances, no speeches, nothing.

Someone speculated that maybe he had escaped to the Supercomputer to infect it but Bob pointed out a portal of any kind required internet access and the wifi tower was still down(confirmed by Glitch who still couldn’t get a signal out of the system.)

So that left them on edge. In the mean time, they were trying to best come up with a plan to get back into the P.O. They likely couldn’t get back in through the Core, Megabyte had likely figured out that’s how they escaped and had men guarding the entrance. Besides, Phong was old and injured last time anyone saw him and Enzo was young; they were more likely than anyone to succumb quickly to the Core.

The group is chatting tersely, trying to pinpoint a plan when she approaches the table. There is a schematic of the P.O laid out, with various notes and items circled on it. She can see the flicker of worry in Bob’s eyes as he takes stalk of her.

“Did you sleep?” he asks silently. Her pursed lips in response tell him that no, she hadn’t.

(Razor sharp claws running over her skin.)

“Where were you?” Enzo is on edge more than any of them and quick to instigate a fight in order to release the pent up anger building up inside of him. It’s tiring but she’s used to it.

“Just out for a walk.” she lies, the smile threatening to fall. Each day it’s becoming harder to pretend around him.

“That must be nice. We’ve been here actually working!”

AndrAIa's smile faltered at Matrix's sharp tone. She took a deep breath, trying to keep her composure. Conceal, don’t feel.

"I know you're all working hard, Sparky. I just needed some time to myself, that's all." To sleep; or at least she tried to until the thoughts became too much.

(A deep, baritone voice purring into her ear)

“Yeah well that’s all you seem to have time for. You’ve been avoiding me for the last cycle.” The renegade says accusatorily, eye flaring briefly as anger seeped out.

“Oh no, User forbid I be too busy and tired to FAQ your ass while in the middle of an active warzone!” She regrets the words as soon as she says them. Why was this happening? She’s supposed to be good at pretending and yet she keeps slipping up, it was never this hard before to lie.

Enzo recoiled briefly, taken aback by AndrAIa's uncharacteristic outburst before the shock turned into that familiar, tiring (so, so tiring), anger she was so used to at this point.

(Touching her between the [REDACTED].)

“You really think that’s what I fucking care about right now?” the Renegade leaned forward, anger spilling out of his voice. “Enzo and Phong are still FAQing at Megabyte’s mercy, and you think I give two shits about the fact that you’re not putting out?”

‘Yes’ But she does not say it. AndrAIa knows that while he is concerned for the others, he’s extra ornery because she’s been uninterested or just not in the mood to lie there and get it over with like she always does in exchanging codes the last cycle. She knows he uses it as a way to cope when stressed; his go to after alcohol and shooting things but she just can’t seemed to get in the mood because his hands were wrong and not the ones she wanted.

“Enough! I swear to the User, none of us need to hear this.” Bob interjects, a look of desperation on his face as he tried to end this very uncomfortable conversation. He doesn’t need those images in his head. AndrAIa felt her cheeks flush; momentarily forgetting about the others during the spat. She can see from the corner of her eyes Dot is looking down at the .doc she has open, trying not to look her in the eye, face red with embarrassment. Mouse just seems to be amused.

Matrix's grunted, turning away as he backed down reluctantly. A mix of frustration and hurt on his face. "Whatever," he muttered, turning his attention back to the map on the table. AndrAIa breathes deep, pushing it all back and a calm smile comes over her face.

"So, what's the plan?" she asked, her voice carefully level. She knows there will be hell to pay later, behind closed doors but she cannot focus on that now . "How are we getting Enzo and Phong back?"

Bob cleared his throat, exchanging a wary glance with Dot before speaking. "Well, we've been going over the schematics, trying to find any weak points in Megabyte's defenses. Unfortunately, he's really bolstered security throughout the entire building."

He pauses, tapping his fingers on the table as he thinks. "There are still a few service tunnels and access points that may be lightly guarded, but getting in undetected is going to be a challenge. And once we're in, we'll have to deal with getting Enzo and Phong out without triggering Megabyte's full wrath."

Matrix leaned forward, his cybernetic eye whirring as he analyzed the map. "We'll need a distraction - something to draw Megabyte's forces away from the holding cells so we can get in and get them out."

“We still haven’t decided what we’re going to do about Dad, or the rest of their people on the inside.” said Dot. That was another issue they weren’t sure how to deal with. Enzo might be safe because he was a child, and he needed Phong, but what about the rest of the team that had been in the War Room? They were either infected or deleted at this point; Megabyte would not show them the same courtesy.Then again, he might not care enough about a group of Binomes and chose to allow them to leave (after all, if you kill all your future subjects, who will you have left when it comes time to take over?) And Welman had the advantage of being a null; he could not be deleted, no matter how much Megabyte tried. He could feel pain of course, but that was different.

It was a conundrum. Obviously, to them Enzo and Phong were a priority, but to the families of the Binomes inside the P.O, waiting on news of their loved ones safety, they did not feel the same.

"Well, we don’t know if anyone else is still alive Sis. We should focus on just getting in before finding survivors. We could lead a frontal assault on the P.O.," Matrix offered, cracking his knuckles. "That would definitely draw Megabyte's attention." Everyone knew that he wanted a rematch with Megabyte more than anything; partially for what had been done to Dot but also for pride reasons; to put the virus in his place once and for all.

“Sugah, I’m sure after last time we came in swinging through the front door, he ain’t gonna let us stroll back in without a blood bath.” said Mouse.

Dot shook her head, a frown on her face. "I agree, it’s going to be more difficult this time if we attempt it and it’s too risky. We can't just charge in guns blazing. We need to be strategic about this."

By this point, AndrAIa had started to zone out, exhaustion creeping in. She was too tired to think straight, the call for sleep overwhelming. She leaned against the table, allowing her eyes to close for a moment. She..she just needed to rest for a moment.

AndrAIa's eyes slid shut as she leaned against the table, the exhaustion finally catching up to her. The others continued discussing their plans, their voices fading to a dull hum in the background as she allowed herself a moment of respite. And then, she’s pulled under.

She’s huddled in the corner of the cell, a book tightly held to her chest as she tries to protect it to no avail from the hands that rip it away. It’s a good book, she’s read it over and over since she got it. It’s a bit torn from constant use but in this place, it was all she had. A hope, a dream, that when she is an adult she will find it and be free.

“Where did you get this? ” a figure says, shrouded in shadow. The voice is familiar but an unwelcome familiarity and is feminine in nature. Each word drips with malice that AndrAIa knows is because she’s done something wrong.

She doesn’t tell her about the guard who had felt sorry for her and slipped it past the bars in the middle of the night. He was the only kind person in this place.

“I…I found it?” she offers weakly knowing, that it’s a terrible lie. Though the figure is shrouded, she knows that the woman is staring at her with hatred and malcontent.

“Lies!” The 0.8 year old screams, flinching as a hand strikes her cheek, the pain already forming into a bruise. Why did she have to always make her mad? She was trying to be good, she really was.

“You don’t get to have presents. Don’t forget, they’re dead because of you. You’re an abomination who deserves to be punished….Looks like I'll have to find new guards, such a shame. Cleaning up the blood will be such a bother.”

The woman pauses, noting the title of the book and then lets out a dark laugh.

“Oh, you poor, stupid thing. Just a child; Not even remotely of age and yet you think that the Goddess will bestow such a blessing on you one day? After what you’ve done? Foolish child.”

“But-”

“No excuses. Remember your purpose for being here. You are dangerous, and even if you were to find someone in adulthood, would it truly be fair to them? Do you want to subject them to the pain and suffering of being bound to a monster like you?”

“I a-am not a mOnStER!” she wails, curling in on herself.

“Yes, you are.”

“No!”

AndrAIa's eyes snap open, her entire body going rigid as the memory resurfaces. Fear and adrenaline lick through her; why now? On top of everything else going on, why was she thinking about that? She doesn’t want to remember. But then it hits her, the truth. Why IT had happened.

“DrAIa?”

She knows someone is calling out for her (she doesn’t know who, everything sounds staticky as she panics), hands reaching to touch her but it’s too much. The memory is burning into her, sending her into spiral that she hasn’t experienced since she escaped. “I need to get out of here“ is the only thing on her mind.

She bolts, pushing past figures left and right, blood pounding in her ears. Everything in her code says to run and to not stop; so that’s what she does. She doesn’t get far before something pommels her to the ground. Someone large and strong, pressing her against the floor, their hands pining her own.

She snarls and thrashes, unwilling to be contained. Other hands reach to touch her and it’s too much. In a quick motion, she detaches one of her arm fins out of reflex, causing it to go flying and it must hit someone because she hears a scream and then hands reactively releasing her. She is blind with panic and cannot think so when yet another hand grabs her hand, she turns and racks her nails across…a face? Yes, a face but she doesn’t know whose. The hand relents and she pushes further.

This time, nothing stops her and she runs and runs, and runs, flying past sprites and binomes alike, out of the base and into the streets of Mainframe, hair whipping in the wind, lungs burning with need to breath but she can’t breath, she can’t.

She’s always known she was a monster, so it suddenly makes sense why this happened.

This was her punishment; her penance for what she had done. There was no other answer. A monster for a monster.

She runs until she cannot breath anymore, falling over from exhaustion. Is she crying? She can’t tell anymore. She hears a thud but pays it no mind. Hands grab her once more and she thrashes, but unlike last time they do not let go; instead they wrap around her and pull her close. They feel familiar and wrong but so right. She relents, pushing her face against a chest that is metal and rough, marked by degradation and she breaks down for the first time in a long time and sobs. She sobs until she cannot feel anymore.

Next | Previous | Beginning

[ragedagainst]

despite jyn's complicated relationship with saw, i want to make it clear that i ( and she ) love him so much. he gets unfairly hated on by fans ( three guesses why 🙄 ) but i'm one of his biggest fans and want him to be in every piece of sw media possible !!

[bidokja]

cursed by the fact that Javier is the name my dad goes by so every time i read tged im just like Don't Think About It Don't Think About It Don't Think About It Don't-