#mostly because it was easy to transfer stuff from my phone to laptop

[eccentriccryptid]

Being in business school is so fucking wild, I'm starting my last semester and so we're doing intro posts(as you do) and we have to give an anecdote about how we are as a consumer and so many people are talking about how loyal they are to brands? I just want to scream brands are not your friend!! Like I get sticking with something if it works for you but I'd never say I'm loyal to a brand that's so wild to me idk.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Progress

Bits and snips from the office - some kind of grumble-inducing, and one very, very good.

Scruffman’s taking his unused annual leave in bits and chunks, which gives my two fellow typists license to behave like the office is their own personal conversation nook. Doesn’t leave a lot of work getting done, except by me. I imagine I probably come across as unapproachable or unfriendly because I don’t join in these conversations often and I certainly don’t start them, but mostly it’s because I’m there to do a job and I can’t do it if I’m standing in the middle of the office gabbing.

Also, both other typists apparently have a thing against doing any dictation that reads as being longer than three minutes. As in, they will always, always, without fail leave the longer, more complicated bits of dictation in hopes that I will break down and do them, even if I’m typing things for the other site because the others “haven’t been trained on that site yet”. (Fuck that; I wasn’t trained on that site either but I figured it out. It’s not exactly rocket science.) I mean, do they really think I won’t notice the time stamp discrepancies as they pick and choose the quick and easy typing and leave the long-winded mastectomy, hemicolectomy, and prostate stuff to me? It’s fucking annoying. I’ve had a word with Temp about it once but she seems to have waved it off.

On the subject of the Temp... Well, Scruffman being out, he transferred the phones to the staffer I will call Sunshine (she is a sweetheart). But of course, Sunshine needed to have lunch too, so Temp offered to grab the phones while Sunshine was out. But that was apparently a huge mistake because when she got a call asking for a report, it came out that she didn’t know how to search the system for a report. Because apparently “no one trained me how to do that yet”. She has been here for months. Anyway, I said I’d take the call but then I would show her how to do a search for a report. She agreed ... at least until I got off the phone, at which point she tried, “Maybe this isn’t the best time...” I fucking insisted. I said, “It’ll take two minutes”. And that’s exactly how long it did take because it’s one of the most idiot-proof functions on our system. It’s literally “click a button that says ‘Search Entries’, add in at least some search information, click ‘Search’ and watch all the reports for that patient come up; then just weed out the one you want and make sure it’s authorised before you send it”. I know Temp just wants to stay on her typing groove, with only the shortest and easiest bits of typing to make her feel extra-specially productive, but fuck that; she needs to know this shit. It shouldn’t all land on me.

Now for the good news, though - one that will probably make Temp laziness less of an issue on at least some levels. Got an email from Grand High Poobah Manager saying, “So the IT people need to set stuff up on what will be your laptop so I need your login details”.

You know what that means?

That means that working from home is going to become an imminent reality!

Now, as I’m given to understand it, I’ll still have to come into the office sometimes. Probably towards the end of the week because that’s when we have the fewest people in the office. But it will mean even less travel and possibly even being able to go back to a five-day week! I cannot work an eight-hour day anymore, even if the commute is taken out of the equation entirely. But I can probably do a five-day week if I’m not having to cross basically all of London for those five days. We’ll see how I cope with four days a week with some of them work-from-home before I make any decisions on that score, though. That’s already been discussed with Mid-Manager (the one between Scruffman and Grand High Poobah Manager on the chain of command, as it were; the one I have meetings with to discuss my various accommodations) so it should be workable to make the change if I’m able to do so.

I’m just really glad that something concrete is happening here. I mean, given I was told “the end of last year”, it’s probably understandable that I was despairing a bit. But I think email from Grand High Poobah Manager talking about ‘my laptop’ is the best indicator I could hope for that things are actually moving. PROGRESS! HUZZAH!

I still wish I didn’t have to go into the office at all, but I’ll take what I can get; I do understand that they need someone to help deal with phones etc sometimes. Besides, I’m basically their tech expert; the place’d fall apart without me around to ask how to switch on the spellcheck function on Google Chrome or how to make a headset microphone work for their online meetings...

[vagrantblvrd]

Okay, so I can’t stop thinking about the AU where Jaskier somehow ends up working in a Geek Squad-esque department and has to deal with these witchers who bring in mangled/otherwise destroyed phones and the whatnot AU?

Like, the witchers aren’t completely technologically impaired right because the thing about living through who knows how many innovations and whatnot over the years but they really don’t make stuff the way they used to.

(Jaskier maybe sit through a semi-rant on the subject a time or two while processing whatnot for the witchers who have brought him yet another mangled bit of tech orth a fair bit of money and did he know they used to make them of sturdier stuff???)

Anyway.

Geralt is Geralt, all hm’s and hm’s and usually :( although there have been moments of >:( and an especially rare :| which is the closest to the teeny tiny smile Jaskier gets on a good day or when he says something that amuses Geralt enough to visibly show it. (An actual :) is something to be treasured for days afterward and gets Jaskier gentle ribbing from his co-workers because his relationship with the witchers and Geralt in particular is high entertainment for them, but yes.)

Lambert is a delightful asshole who came in all >:(((((((((( after Geralt mentioned there was a new face in the Geek Squad-esque group, one who got him a new phone in spite of the most recently mangled one being out of warranty and suchlike. Didn’t even ask why it smelled of swamp water and may or may not have had bits of swamp...gunk in its insides and anyway.

Jaskier clearly made an impression on Geralt and he’s like but why, though, and comes in intending to be That Customer - and indeed is through the entire ordeal.

Makes Jaskier go over the fine print in the warranty and whatnot when he brings in some horribly mangled bit of shiny tech - a tablet or some such that clearly cannot be saved and is just barely under warranty. A day later and he’d be out of luck, right?

And while it’s covered by the warranty it’s also just old enough the store doesn’t carry it anymore - been discontinued or whatever - which should be fine, right? Jaskier can set Lambert up with the newest model or other equivalent and everything should be fine, but no, no.

Lambert gets this glint in his eye and is like, oh, I’m not going to make things that easy for you, buddy, and goes off on this...whatever about how he liked the version he had - doesn’t want or need the added features on the new one even though they actually are pretty nice, just because he can.

And of course he came in on one of the days Jaskier’s usual supervisor is off and the one who’s had it out for Jaskier since day one is working. Positive Jaskier has done nothing to deserve being moved from overnight stocker to Geek Squad-esque team member and looking for the smallest reason to get him fired. (Or at least kicked back to overnight stocker and then fired for some other reason no one can call them on.)

This supervisor who is hovering, just waiting for Jaskier’s Retail Voice and whatnot to slip so they can pounce and Lambert might not know the details about it all, but it’s pretty damn obvious the supervisor doesn’t like Jaskier.

So he’s like, “Okay, but...” whenever Jaskier brings up a new avenue of convincing the asshole to just say he’ll take the new tablet and gtfo already, pls you asshole, pleasant smile on his face and gritting his teeth the whole time.

Just as the supervisor has had enough of watching Jaskier dealing with this stubborn customer and clearly failing to meet their needs, Lambert is like “Well, I really did like my old tablet, but I suppose this one you’ve been trying to sell me on for nearly half an hour will be adequate, probably,” like Jaskier’s got him at gunpoint or something.

Jaskier is like oh, excellent, sir, what a wonderful choice sir, you are totally my favorite customer sir!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD while also being like >:(((((((((((((((((( to Lamert’s clear amusement and whatnot.

After the deal is done and the bastard’s on his way out, Jaskier is like !!! when he sees Lambert stop in front of the assole!supervisor sure he’s going to complain about Jaskier. To his surprise though, Lambert’s just, all “Oh, he was so helpful! Answered all my questions!” and so on and both Jaskier and the asshole!supervisor are taken aback because that was not what they were expecting?

And then Lambert’s like “I only want to deal with him when I come in here,” to which Jaskier is ah, okay because he gets Lambert’s game now, and the supervisor is just okay, well, I have no control over that unless you come in on days he’s working, but you can bet I’mm make sure it happens if you do, haha.

Which more or less seals Jaskier’s fate on that angle, and absolutely what Lambert intended, and anyway, asshole.

Later on, after they’ve had enough such encounters that Lambert isn’t suspicious of this oddly helpful person at the store where they buy most of their consumer electronics he’s like, >:DDDDDDDDDDDDDD when he comes in nd Jaskier’s like >:(((((((((((((((((((( if you really wanted to help me out here with the asshole!supervisor you’d buy an extended warranty or whatever and Lambert rolls his eyes and scoffs because those are scams and he’s not an idiot, and anyway, he knows Jaskier doesn’ really want to shank him out back behind the store with a rusty knife the way he threatened one time because Lambert is a delight, okay, an utter delight.

Jaskier side-eyes him so hard for that and is like, oh????? So then Lambert won’t mind meeting him out back on his break? Asking for a friend, you know, no other reason. Strangely, Lambert does not.

(Mostly because of that time Geralt fondly told the others about Jaskier shanking a monster out back by the store’s loading dock when Geralt was a little bit bleeding out and in a bad spot and anyway, yeah, no, thanks, Lambert wasn’t born yesterday okay.)

But you know who is an actual delight that Jaskier loves to see come into the store?

Aside from Geralt???

Eskel.

The man is sweet and polite and holds actual conversations (not a slight against Geralt by any means, it’s just. Sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone at work who isn’t a coworker or a horrible customer and so on) and otherwise doesn’t give Jaskier headaches.

(Though there was the one night after closing and rare time when the store would be clsoed the next day for a holiday or whatever so no night crew coming in. Jaskier was trying to get his car to start when Eskel showed up all bloody and half-dead and Jaskier was closest. Also his phone was broken and no way to contact Geralt or anyone else and how was Jaskier at first aid, asking for a friend and all.)

Anyway.

Jaskier’s favorite encounter with Eskel at work is when he calls Jaskier asking if he can help with a tech issue. Mangled laptop and files he wants to get off the harddrive you know, but ~sensitive file that have to do with the witchers and their work.

They all pretend Jaskier knows absolutely nothing about any of it, even though he’s patched all of them up at some point or they’ve saved his life from some monster or other and there really shouldn’t be any pretense about it all?

AND YET.

It’s one of those days where work is slow and the other Geek Squad-esque people are out on house calls and won’t be back for a few hours or called out sick or whatever.

And this, okay, this is something Jaskier convinced one of them to teach him or he taught himself through Google and YouTube and anyway, he can do the file transfer magic stuff for Eskel, no problem.

Tells him as such and to come by before anyone gets back from the calls so he can handle it himself without anyone looking on and all, so he does, right?

Jaskier lets Eskel in the back room with him while he works, and they have a nice little chat and catch up on what’s new in their lives and all that.

Jaskier is like oh, ew, gross because some of the files he salvages for Eskel are photo documentations of past hunts - for science!!1! - but also ooh, what was that hunt like???

(Accidentally clicks on some or some other reason for him seeing what the files are or just file names and anyway, shhhh, let me have this.)

Because curiosity and also songs and Geralt enjoys being difficult on purpose and Jaskier’s never sure how much Lambert tells him is complete bullshit, and anyway. Eskel’s the nice one. Usually.

Also, though, also.

There are so many photos of Geralt and Lambert, Vesemir and Ciri and certain sorceresses and suchlike, and it’s adorable and sweet and wholly expected?

BUT.

To Jaskier’s forever joy and delight there are at least two entire album’s worth of freaking goat pictures.

(Well, okay, goat and horse and whatever other animals these withcers have in their lives and so on.)

It’s adorable as hell and Jaskier makes these little squeaky noises of pure awww at the sight of them, okay, because Lil Bleater and whatever little terrors Eskel has known and clearly adores.

He’s like staring straight ahead and all everything’s fine and normal and whatnot while Jaskier is like omg and she’s so cute and omg Eskel, omg.)

Withcers may not be able to blush or whatever, but you can sure as hell bet he would have been blushing up a damned storm if he could and Jaskier also knows that and is just.

Charmed, okay, he is utterly charmed by this big soft dork and swears he won’t tell anyone even though the people who matter obviously know as well, and anyway, anyway, he gets this soft little smile for it and his heart is like oh, oh no, because Jaskier’s kind of gone on these idiot witchers okay.

(After the discovery of the goat pictures Eskel starts sending new ones to Jaskier who always gets that look people get when presented with adorable pictures of animals and this warm squishy feeling because oh, oh no, indeed and anyway, yes, because idk what pairings/ships i even want this to be anymore but just soft feelings all over the place even with Lambert, the bastard. XD)

[purplesurveys]

891

Could you live without power for a week? I wouldn’t die, but it would really suck because then I’d have to watch out for my phone’s and laptop’s battery life, plus it would be incredibly uncomfortable without electric fans and aircons...I wouldn’t die, but I’d hate it. When was the last time you slept on the floor? The day before I got sick. End of May.  Have you regretted anything you said today? No. I haven’t talked to anyone; it’s only 7:59 in the morning. What do you think about airport security? I think it’s essential. I understand why they have to be rigid; better that than not at all. How many doors are in your house? I just answered this on a recent survey, how interesting lol. 13.

Do you keep a journal? This is it. What was the last thing you wished for? A tray of baked sushi. Do you pray? No. Do you like it when your date pays, or do you feel bad? I feel bad, but I’m also appreciative. I only let her pay when I’m short, or when I’m craving a certain restaurant but don’t have the budget for it that day. Most of the time we prefer splitting the bill. Do you spoil your friends? Just my girlfriend.  Are cramped places scary? Not for the most part but my anxiety will sometimes get triggered. But what happens and what sucks about it is that it gets set off at the most random times, so I never really know when I’m bound to get scared. Would you ever consider riding in a trunk? If it was a dare and I’d be paid handsomely for it then I don’t see why not. Does it irritate you when a fellow passenger brings lots of luggage? No. Their business shouldn’t bother me. Ever been leeched by a leech? Nope. Have you ever lied to make someone dislike you? Why would I actively make someone dislike me? Ever had a fear of mirrors? No, I find them fascinating. All four walls in the elevators of the hotel that my mom works in are mirrors, and they’re fun to take photos with haha. What song can you not stop listening to? Right now it’ssssss no song without you - HONNE. Do you take vitamins? Yeah we take vitamin C tablets every night, but sometimes I’ll forget. What's the longest you've stayed at a hotel? A week. Do you buy your music or download? I stream them on Spotify. I used to either buy CDs (usually if I was a big fan of the artist/band) or convert YouTube audio to MP4 to transfer it to my iTunes. Do any of your friends grow weed? No. Not that I know of, at least. Do you like arguing? I don’t like fighting, but if by arguing you mean having a respectful and civil debate then yes, those are fun. Does it bother you when people don't say goodbye before hanging up? It doesn’t really bother me? It just confuses me haha. I need a verbal cue to know when I can hang up. If the person on the line doesn’t say bye I’ll just linger on the phone waiting until it starts to feel awkward and I go initiate the bye instead. Have you ever owned an unlucky object? I don’t believe in those. Do you think voodoo works? No but it’s funny to think about sometimes, in a childish way. What habit do you find most disgusting? I really hate seeing people spit in public. Usually it’s truck drivers or their co-drivers. I always encounter at least one spitter while driving everyday, and it has never failed to make me shudder. Do you often feel ignored? It’s not a strong feeling, no. Can you read music? This is on every survey lately... no I can’t.

Are you optimistic? Sometimes. I think I’m a healthy balance of that and pessimism. Does it scare you to walk over sewer vents in the street? Yes. I always avoid them or skip over them, especially the ones that are already obviously unstable and wobble when someone steps on them. Is your lifestyle healthy or unhealthy? Unhealthy. I don’t watch what I eat and I’ve never entered a gym. But idk, the genes on my mom’s side are impressive and all of us have decent physiques and never get sick – my grandma is 74 but can honestly pass for 50 – so I must’ve taken after that side of the family. Is it easy for you to remember stuff? Yeah, very. Except for numbers. Last electronic object you drowned? That has never happened to any of my gadgets, fortunately. How well do you handle responsibility? Depends how comfortable I am with the task at hand and how much I already have on my plate, if ever. But I never not get anything done. I’m very deadline-driven and everyone who knows me knows I turn in everything asked of me at the end of the day, even if I don’t think I did well enough. Are you afraid of getting old? Sometimes I’ll start to get scared at how short life actually is and what can possibly happen after it, but these are fleeting thoughts. I like living in the present. What's something you wish you could start over? College. Just so I can do my freshman year the way I actually wanted it to go. Are you a loud person? In certain situations. I love being loud with my friends in a bar or when we’re at an amusement park, but I prefer that we don’t make a ruckus at the mall or at a restaurant. Do you believe in guns? No. I honestly don’t understand those who buy it for themselves when they can get other weapons if they’re really hell-bent on self-defense. But idk, I guess I’m speaking from a place (like, a literal place lol) where it’s extremely uncommon for ordinary people to get themselves guns. Are porcelain dolls attractive, or scary? Neither. I just find them a little unsettling, but not scary. Are you friends with someone because you feel bad for them? Not currently. But one time I did try to befriend someone who would be considered a loner, but I realized we had different personalities and interests so I stopped talking to her after a while. Oops. Do you like back rubs? No, I’m ticklish. Do you give good ones? No.

Which of your friends provides the most stimulating conversations? All of them do, to tell the truth. I guess I’m just automatically drawn to intelligent people haha. Do you wish to go to London? It’s not high up on my list but eh, sure. Have you ever felt like you were in a movie? No. I feel that movies are outlets for situations that would never happen in real life, so I’ve never felt as if I was in one. Do you drink enough water daily? I don’t drink the ~recommended~ amount but I still the drink the most in my family. Is burning things fun? I’d rather watch other people burn things. I’m scared of fire, so.

Do you like morbid things? Some. Can you sew? Nope. Have you ever just sat and read a dictionary? Oh my god yeah... after I watched Akeelah and the Bee for the first time I wanted to start joining spelling bees too, so I’d whip out my dictionary almost everyday and start reading the words. There were never any competitions to join here, but from 4th to 7th grade we would have spelling quizzes in our English language class and I aced all of those. Whose cooking do you most despise? No one’s. I love the cooking of all my loved ones. When you were little, did your parents make you sit in the corner? No but in school they made me do it once, for something that wasn’t my fault. My parents didn’t have any methods to discipline me because I was mostly a well-behaved kid anyway. Red roses, or black roses? Red. Do you blast your music concert-loud? I used to. Don’t really do it anymore. Do any of your exes bother you? Nope. Do you like taking pictures of yourself? Hell no. The camera has never been my friend. How about just taking pictures? I like taking photos of my dogs, my best friends, the food I eat, and new places I go to. So to an extent, I do. I don’t dabble in photography though; I just like taking snapshots.

Is cheaper really better? Sometimes, especially when you’re naturally good at hunting down that kind of stuff. My sister will sometimes find Zara jeans or jackets for like ₱80 at an ukay-ukay lol Last thing you ordered from Amazon? I’ve never ordered anything off of Amazon. Or do you prefer ebay? Never ordered from eBay either. Are you good at writing cards for people? I love writing letters for my loved ones. I never buy cards that already have text in them as I want the whole thing to come from me. Do you like camping? I’ve never tried it so I wouldn’t know. I want to go camping at least once though, and with my best friends. Last place you were stranded? The highway. Do you like dragonflies? Omg no they freak me outtt. How many pages is the novel you're currently reading? I’ve started to reread Little Women because I’m planning to watch the 2019 adaptation, but I’m not sure how many pages it has. What's something everybody's never heard of? The sound of a tree falling in the middle of the jungle that no person is currently in. Hahaha that was my philosophy professor’s favorite example to use. Are your talents recognized? I think they are, yes. Can you handle silence for long periods of time? Only if I need it. Otherwise it tends to make me uneasy. Do you do well against temptation? For the most part, yep. But if food is involved I usually fail lol

[joyeauxeveryday]

How to Create an Effective Plan  for the Quarantine💙

This post is mostly centered towards people like me in quarantine or self-isolating and have nothing better to do. (Probably everyone.) The quarantine shouldn’t be like a long study session or a period of time which you will regret not accomplishing anything later on. I have experimented with different techniques of to-do lists, scheduling, creating an agenda for recreational activities and found the perfect one to match my needs. But I have discovered over the months, how others may suit a different method for arranging their time, that works for them, or suits them better. I have created a quiz which will help you find your perfect schedule for organization. Keep in mind that this quiz will not define your personality or what you will stick to, it is simply to just find a way of organization that I recommend.

Q1: Which of learning/schooling do you prefer?

A. Going to lectures/classes and writing down notes 

B. Going to class but learn by interacting with others and the teacher

C. Being set tasks to do and self learning.

D. Online classes to work more productively in one place

Q2: What platform do you usually take your final notes on (your notes that you study from. Not your notes where you just jot down stuff the teacher says)?

A. Taking notes on paper

B. Notes on paper, but going an extra mile to make them look aesthetic!

C. Taking notes digital but transferring some into a binder or notebook

D. Taking notes digitally on a laptop or tablet

Q3. What organization system do you usually prefer when listing your tasks?

A. On a day-by-day planner agenda

B. Bullet Journal!

C. An extended to-do list or multiple lists

D. On my planner on my phone where I keep everything

Q4. What’s your main motivating cause when you study?

A. Good grades

B. Good grades but I like to treat myself when I study for a period of time

C. To get in my dream Uni

D. To have a productive schedule and studying but expertly

Q5. If you have a long-term assignment set for a month, when do you usually complete it?

A. I complete the assignment during the first week so I don’t have to worry about it. Between the time I have left and the due date, I also like to furnish it and make it better.

B. I like to not stress on one area at first so I spend the first week brainstorming ideas and start the actual assignment on the third week

C. I usually work pretty fast and I have a creative mind so my ideas flow when I start working so I procrastinate until the last week but get it done with a good effort

D. I plan out my days split the assignment into small tasks to complete throughout the entire month

Results🌻

Mostly A’s✨

You like to work effectively and like seeing good results after putting so much hard work into them. You naturally have a good work ethic, but you still have time left over to spend time doing things you love with the people you love. You might have been okay with the quarantine at first, but it is quickly starting to affect you. Even though it has given you a handful of time, you struggle to use it. We have a lot in common, and what I love doing, is having an extended to-do list of everything you want to accomplish. It can be as simple as sorting out your sports bag, to completing an assignment or something passionate, like just to binge a TV show you’ve always wanted to watch! Use this time wisely, do things you’ve always wanted to do so you won’t regret it.❤️

Mostly B’s ✨

You are absolutely love to learn, especially if it’s your favorite subject! You have a creative mind, and is always open-minded when introduced to something new. I have no doubt you already have a mental list of things you are going to accomplish during the quarantine already, most of which, are things you are passionate. Well I have 3 words for you. Go for it! Take this time to do things you love, but remember to balance it out with your priorities and finish what you started. Stay true to yourself, and yes, you might procrastinate a little a few times, and it’s totally normal! You deserve it! I would recommend starting a bullet journal, if you haven’t already, and express your artistic talent. If you are already keeping a bullet journal, good for you! Make a special page for what you are going to do during the quarantine, make it as wild as you can, and even though you probably won’t have done all the things by the end, you will have a beautiful page of your goals and experience to cherish later on. 🌹

Mostly C’s ✨

You are just like me! You love learning new things, especially if you can do them by yourself! But if I’m correct, you are a also a MAJOR procrastinator! Don’t worry, I feel you! But you know that there is so much potential in you, and I bet you can release your power to 100% if sometimes tried a bit harder, do things earlier, instead of last minute. I would recommend using a schedule planner, with dates and weeks already inserted. This will make it a lot easier for you to manage your time! Write everything down, even consider starting a diary or a journal during the quarantine! That way you have a book full with memories by the time we’ve reached the end. But you have to remember one thing. No matter how easy a task seems to you, promise that you will always put in 100% at all times. You are a type of person that would have big dreams for the future, and you already seem like you are working hard towards those dreams! So keep going girl, and do your thing 😊

Mostly D’s ✨

You love to study and accomplish new things! You believe in studying effectively, and giving your 100% in everything! It seems to me, that you already have a fantastic system, and even more, I bet you are a tech expert. Use your skills to the max sister! With your potential, I would say, use a nice app to manage your free time like: - Todoist

- Things 3

- Minimalist

- Workflowy 

- Noteplan

These are just the tip of the iceberg! Branch out, find a system or app that works for you and stay comfy! If there is one thing I would suggest doing, is giving yourself breaks. The quarantine should not feel a big, giant study session! Take time off, to do things with family. Don’t feel like you should be doing more work, because you’ve worked hard during term time, and you deserve a break! You will not regret your time during the quarantine, so make the most of it💙

I hope you have found your system for the quarantine. This questionnaire might vary for some people, so please do not feel obliged to follow the exact advice. I hope you all have fun during the quarantine! Remember, you cannot buy time so use it wisely🌺

[queenssunshine]

Making a Living off of Death (1/4)

I literally cannot believe I’ve posted my first fic to AO3! This is my first fic in almost seven years, so I’m really excited to become a contributing member of fandom again. 

Anyway, here’s my first Spider-boy fic, and in the spirit of Whumptober, it is of course whump.

Read On AO3 Here

When people ask him what he does, he generally tells them he’s a freelancer. On occasion they will enquire further, “A freelance what?”, to which he will respond, “Whatever I can.” That’s basically true—while he deals mostly in assassinations, he also does assaults and robberies on occasion. Sometimes he needs to put the fear of God into people. Sometimes he just needs to play God.

The hit on Tony Stark comes to him in a heavily encrypted email that takes his computer two days to work through. Sometimes clients are paranoid like that, making the orders so difficult to access that most people in the business walk away before they even know what they’re for. He supposes this isn’t a bad idea. Plausible deniability and all that. But it’s annoying for him to have to wait around for his program to work out the endless lines of tangled code. This also probably means payment will come in a similar form, which is even more annoying.

Anyway, the hit on Tony Stark gets sent to him and three other colleagues and he’s the first one to decode it (and probably the only one to try) so first come, first kill. The built-in kill code activates and his instructions unwrite themselves from the screen, his laptop defaulting to his desktop photo of the silhouette of a dog on a sunset. Alright, time to strategize.

First, he has to get to New York. Then he has to figure out how to get Stark’s schedule. Then he has to get close to him. Then he has to kill him.

Hacking into Stark’s security team is above his skill set but gaining access to his employee files ends up being pretty easy. Cross-check some names, Google some addresses, hack a local AT&T store, and boom, he has access to the personal phones of who he has decided is two key players in his plan: the head of security and an intern.

He decides these two are key because he sees them too much. Photos from expos, parties, conferences, press events—the two are a constant presence at the side of Tony Stark. The security head quite frankly looks like an oaf, and the intern doesn’t appear to be older than college age, so he decides that they can’t do too much thwarting to his plan. The more he gets to know them through the screen, the more he feels that way.

The emails that the two have sent back and forth are heavily encrypted, and there are heaps of text messages that are as well. He can’t believe it, but his main source of information is coming from the animojis that the two send each other on occasion. The intern favors the alien. The security head favors the brown bear. (The intern also thinks the security head should use the poop one more, but that’s beside the point.)

Through the animojis, GPS tracking, and some old-fashioned stalking-- er, in-person reconnaissance, he discovers that the intern is a student at a magnet school in Forest Hills and that the security head is, for whatever reason, his personal after-school driver. The relationship between the two of them seems pretty relaxed. They clearly have a long history of uneventful school pick-ups, because he just sits in the visitor parking lot and stares at them without detection as the security head pulls up in the black Audi, the intern hops in, and they wait in the long queue to get off the campus. He trails the car, but the location of drop-off changes on the daily—sometimes a restaurant, sometimes a bodega, twice it was just an alleyway. Once they went to Stark Tower, or at least he assumes that’s where they were heading, but by the time they were two blocks away he decided to drop off to avoid getting clocked on any of Stark’s cameras. Even though Stark probably had access to every CCTV in town. Sometimes you just have to play it safe.

After about two weeks of monitoring, he gets his golden ticket. His phone pings a few times in a row, and he opens it to witness an exchange between Alien and Brown Bear:

[Alien] Are we still on for after school? [Brown Bear] Yeah, he had to move some stuff around so we might be late, but we’ll still be there. [Alien] Cool! It’s probably better, I don’t want—[the alien hesitates, rotates his head, lowers voice] Mr. Stark to have to deal with people freaking out about him being here. [Brown Bear] Don’t worry about it, kid. [Brown Bear] I think he’s kind of excited to see your school and your friends. [Alien] Okay, well I’ll see you guys later then. [Alien] OH! Can we please go to Julio’s again? Please? I’m craving breadsticks. [Brown Bear] Boss says okay.

So the decision had to be made: to carry out the assassination on a high school campus, or at an Italian restaurant in Brooklyn. He sighs as he Googles “Midtown academic calendar forest hills,” and sighs again when he discovers that tonight is the Annual Science Fair. What will Tony Stark do in the presence of one thousand geeks and their parents: double down on security or keep it modest? He rapidly Googles some more, trying to find instances of Tony Stark, billionaire and savior of the universe, attending a high school science fair. Bingo. Seven years ago he had attended the science fair of the Bronx High School of Science, and according to r/TonyStark and r/IronMan, he had only had Brown Bear and his gauntlets at his disposal. No supplementary guards? Not wise, Stark. Still, one instance was not enough to base his operation on.

Further inquiries reveal that Stark, in his years since becoming the savior of the universe, has only grown laxer. His prosthetic arm doubles as a housing unit for the Iron Man suit, sure, but it seems to be de-weaponized most of the time. He’s spotted without security regularly—outings with clients, with the Avengers team, with the kid, all solo. Rarely a body guard appears, but it’s only when he’s with his daughter or wife. Maybe it’s because Stark thinks he’s too big to fuck with. Maybe Stark is, and maybe this is a big mess in the making. Oh well. He decides the assassination is going to go down at the school, but he needs one more thing to make it go off well. So he calls a colleague, has them transfer the encrypted message, decodes it again (but faster, thank you machine learning), backward engineers it, and makes a phone call. And a request.

Two hours later, a cloaking suit arrives at a P.O. box, to which he has the key.

Sometimes his clients gift him cool things to execute a mission, but a cloaking suit is hands-down the coolest thing he’s gotten. He didn’t know what he expected when he takes it out of the courier box, but it looks almost civilian—a thick grey windbreaker with lines of reflective material running down the sleeves, and a pair of pants to match. It’s basically a tracksuit. He’s relieved. New Yorkers have likely seen weirder things than a man dressed in full tactical attire on the subway, but it’s still nice to have a low profile.

He messes around with the settings and soon enough he’s standing before the hotel bathroom mirror almost completely invisible, only a slight warp betraying where he is. Nothing anyone would see unless they were looking for it. Without the hood on, he looks like Harry Potter on his first Christmas at Hogwarts. He is—he dare say—giddy.

He deactivates the cloaking, grabs his guitar case (read: sniper rifle) and wallet and leaves the hotel.

Before getting to the school, he has a slice of pizza, a coke, and a bag of gummy bears. This is not good fuel for the potential get-away sprint, but he can’t help himself. He’s so happy, he can just feel the brewing of a good mission on its way.

He arrives at the school after classes have let out and before the end of the science fair, meaning that the parking lot is a ghost town. His cloaking suit already activated, he climbs up on his predetermined hiding spot (a portable building next to the bus parking lot which would allow him ample cover and a quick escape were things to get hairy), sets up his Barrett M82 (already sheathed in its matching grey cloaking suit), and hunkers down. He lets his mind wander as half an hour passes, thoughts looping around his ex-wife (that bitch), his breakfast tomorrow (maybe that 2.8-star diner down the street), and his dog (who was currently boarding at a doggy daycare next to his house in Kentucky and got a time-out today). Finally, families start spilling out of the front doors of the school, and from his view atop the portable, he can clearly see the faces of all exiting.

Fifteen minutes pass of parental pride and filial embarrassment before Stark, the security head, and the intern come walking out. By the time they exit, most of the fair has cleared out and only a few cars remain in the lot—probably teachers and staff. The intern is clutching a blue ribbon and a small trophy while the security head struggles to maintain hold of some kind of robotic device. Stark has his hands jammed in his pockets, strolling casually, lips quirked in a contented smile as the intern rambles about something. He can barely hear it—something about how the intern knew his project was good but didn’t think it would win an award or anything. For a moment, he pauses, feeling a little remorse. He had always wanted kids. The intern seemed pretty endearing. Oh well. Moment over.

He lines up the sight on Stark. It’s a clean shot, a beautiful shot, a stars-have-aligned-and-I’m-about-to-get-away-with-this shot, and he feels the rush of a perfectly executed assassination flow through his veins. This moment is why he mainly deals in assassinations. This high of having so much power yet not even being seen, it hits different. He drops the safety and just as his finger twitches back to the trigger the most bizarre thing happens.

The intern looks at him.

Of course, the kid can’t look at him, he has the cloaking suit on, but the kid’s suspicious eyes pass over the top of the portable and he feels violated.

Also, he squeezes the trigger thrice.

And then a more bizarre thing happens: the kid drops.

Well, shit.

[ferryboatpeak]

When are you writing more for mpreg harry? I love it!

IT’S TIME, ANON! Thanks to you and to all the other anons who have kept this story moving, one ask after another, we have reached the conclusion of our tale. I have a couple more asks to get to for epilogue-type stuff (and would entertain more), but this is it, the final installment of the main not-fic. Here we goooooo…

the rest of the story: [parts 1-7] [part 8][part 9] [part 10]

Nick resolves to make more of an effort. Harry’s the one on the cusp of major experimental surgery, not to mention the baby that’s going to result, and Nick can manage to hang out and watch romcoms if it’s going to make Harry happy. Even if it’s going to make Nick miserable in the end. Insulating himself from the depths of his emotions means that their time together has a strain that it’s never had before – suddenly Nick can’t be himself around Harry, and it’s a loss he feels keenly. But he’s so intent on bracing himself against the hurt of being close to Harry (but not close enough) that he doesn’t notice that Harry’s also more guarded than usual, retreating inside himself with the suspicion that he’s being judged.

Nevertheless, Harry craves Nick’s company, and both of these exceptionally pleasant human beings can manage to pass the time together without too much awkwardness. So that’s what they’re doing one night in March, just after Harry’s pregnancy hits 37 weeks. Harry’s quieter than usual, and he keeps shifting uncomfortably on the sofa. When Nick asks, he says he’s feeling kind of queasy, and his back hurts. Anne immediately says to call the doctor, but Harry brushes it off: he’s uncomfortable all the time these days, it’s not a big deal.

“I think you should call,” Nick says, pausing the movie. Harry’s called the doctor about yoga poses and eating honey and boxing and multiple drafts of his birth plan, so what harm’s it going to do to call her now?  

Harry calls, curled up with his head on the arm of the sofa, gravity holding his phone to his ear. The doctor hears him out, asking a few questions. As Harry listens to what she has to say, his expression changes. “Oh,” Harry says. “I thought that…” He squirms into a sitting position, hand on his stomach. “Is it too soon?”

Across the room, Nick sees Anne tense up in her chair as well. “All right,” Harry says into the phone, “if you’re sure.” He tosses the phone onto the cushion next to him. “Well,” he announces to Nick and Anne, leaning forward and planting both feet on the floor. His knees are spread apart to accommodate his belly, bulging toward the edge of the sofa under the capital-lettered DAMN on the front of his hoodie. He smacks his his palms down onto his knees decisively. “I’m having a baby tonight.” The doctor says his symptoms sound an awful lot like labor, and so they’re going to rush him into surgery immediately.

Nick squashes down the panicky feeling in his chest. Not about me, he reminds himself. He knows false bravado when he sees it, and Harry doesn’t need to worry about Nick’s panic on top of his own. While Harry’s on the phone with Jeff, making arrangements for security and transportation, Nick fiddles with the laces of his shoes, tying and untying them as he tries to figure out the right way to say goodbye to somebody who’s off to have an unprecedented baby.

Giving up, he grabs his jacket. “Hold on,” Harry says into the phone, and then angles it away from his mouth to talk to Nick. “You’re leaving?” The question is uncertain, a strain in Harry’s voice.

Nick pauses, jacket halfway on. “Unless you…”

“Come with,” Harry says quickly.

Nick sits down. “Of course I will.”

At the hospital, Harry’s dark-windowed car pulls into a loading dock. The door rolls shut behind them, and they’re escorted through the back entrances and maintenance corridors of the facility. Harry’s pale and serious-looking, moving purposefully through the halls in the center of a tight knot of security and doctors. In the end, Nick doesn’t say anything at all, just squeezes Harry’s hand before he’s led away into the surgical suite and Nick and Anne are shown to a private waiting area.

They wait. Jeff joins them, and Gemma. Nick calls someone to pick up the dogs for the night. He finds a wall outlet; he’s got a phone charger in his bag, thank god. Jeff taps away at his laptop, and Anne tries to read a book but mostly ends up pacing.

It feels like hours and hours go by. Well after midnight, one of the doctors appears. His news is directed to Jeff (because Jeff’s the one who’s got permission to access all of Harry’s medical information under whatever the British version of HIPAA is). Blah blah blah some biology i’m not thinking about. In short, the procedure went well. Everybody exhales. Anne, the doctor says, Harry’d like you to come in and be with the baby while we finish stitching him up.

Anne dashes back with the doctor. Nick feels like he’s crossed into some kind of blank space. Harry’s not pregnant any more; that strange thing is over. No more risk, no more uncertainty. Healthy baby, healthy Harry. No more hospital vigil to keep, and now Nick has no idea what he’s supposed to do. He asks Jeff if he should go. Nah, Jeff says, he wanted you here, at least wait to see him, if you can.

They wait, and they wait. Nick’s starting to doze off on the hard hospital sofa when Anne comes out to tell them that Harry’s been moved to a room and is ready to see everyone. Quiet night with his baby, recovering from surgery? No, friends, this is Harry Styles, riding a wave of postpartum oxytocin, and he is JUBILANT. He is VICTORIOUS. He has GESTATED and BIRTHED an ENTIRE BABY with his VERY OWN BODY and he is ready to SHOW EVERYBODY and be VENERATED.

Harry’s sat up in his hospital bed, cradling a little burrito of a baby in an ill-fitting hospital hat and a flannel hospital-printed blanket. The hair falling out of his hair clip is stringy and his face is puffy and he’s completely radiant. Everyone crowds around the bed, craning their necks to get a peek at the little scrunched-up face, congratulating Harry and telling him she’s beautiful.

Gemma pulls a heavy vinyl-covered hospital chair up to the head of the bed and Harry hands the baby over to her. Jeff walks the perimeter of the room, gathering up the paperwork that’s lying around and erasing Harry’s name and the baby’s name from the whiteboard on the wall. Nick hovers in the background, not as purposeful as Jeff, while Gemma holds her niece and Harry giddily chatters about the gory medical details and the baby’s exceptional Apgar score and the first song he played for her.

(I feel that Harry puts a lot of thought into the first song he wants to cue up after the baby’s born, and I do not think that Sign of the Times would be the answer. I’m pretty sure it’s something involving Stevie Nicks.)

Nick leans a knee on the deep windowsill and presses his cheek to the cold glass, looking out at quiet London in the still hours of the morning. By the time he gets home, it’ll be almost his old wake-up hour. Getting a couple hours of sleep before heading to work is going to feel like he’s back to his Breakfast Show routine. At least he’s not headed there straight from the hospital. Straight through crew, Nick thinks, turning back to the room to contrast teenage Harry with the older, postpartum version in front of him.

Gemma stands up with the baby. “Nick, want a turn?”

“Of course.” She gently transfers the baby to him, and he takes her place in the bedside chair. For a moment, it’s only Nick and Harry smiling at each other as the baby sleeps in Nick’s arms.

It occurs to Harry that this is nice. Really nice. Awash in oxytocin and empowerment, he’s completely confident that having a baby is the best thing he’s ever done (the best thing that ANYBODY has ever done, EVER). And Nick’s looking down at his baby so tenderly, and that makes it all even better. “Not so bad, is it?” he asks Nick, a little smugly, gesturing at the space that holds Nick and the baby and himself.

Nick, who’s just been wondering if he can get away with kissing the baby’s forehead, is completely confused. “Why would it be bad?”

You didn’t like the surrogate thing, Harry says, but this isn’t terrible, right?

“Oh my god.” It takes him a second to put it together, that Harry’s assumed he didn’t like the rumors because he didn’t want to be linked to Harry and the baby. Not because it’s been 13 weeks of Twitter and the tabs and everyone he knows blithely joking about Nick’s innermost feelings. Nick swallows hard and opens his eyes wide, to dry them out. “Please, don’t ever think I don’t want this.”

Because he’s still trying to expose his eyeballs to as much air as possible, he’s got to keep looking at Harry as Harry’s expression shifts from bemusement to relief to something else. Jeff must have some kind of sixth sense for Harry’s eyes welling up; in Nick’s peripheral vision he can see him nudging Anne and Gemma out of the room. The door closes behind the three of them.

Nick apologizes, and Harry sniffles a little and wipes his eye on the corner of the thin hospital sheet, and finally asks, well, if you weren’t trying to get clear of the rumors, then why were you being so weird?

“It’s just hard,” Nick says, and apologizes again, because he’s sorry to lay all of this on Harry right now, but he’s got to make sure that Harry knows he’s not mad at him. “And none of this is your problem,” he starts. The baby’s impossibly light and warm in the crook of his elbow. “I’m just… jealous.”

It’s the right word, the one that unlocks all of it. “I’m jealous of the other… the other parent, whoever it is…” – Harry opens his mouth, but Nick talks over him – “whoever it is now, or whoever it will be. I’m jealous of you for having a baby out of nowhere when it’s never going to be that easy for me.” Nick’s picking up speed now, needing to get it all out before Harry’s family comes back in. “I’m jealous of her…” – Nick nods his head down at the baby– “…for belonging to you…” …when I don’t, he thinks but doesn’t say. He takes a deep breath. “I’m jealous of both of you for being a family I’m not part of.”

Harry’s face crumples, and Nick does the only thing he can think of to cheer him up, which is to hand the baby back to him. He apologizes again, and tells Harry that this doesn’t change anything, he’s still going to be here for him, it doesn’t have to tank their friendship. Harry’s speechless and teary-eyed, clutching the baby with both arms. Nick keeps talking into the silence. Unless you want… I get it if you’re not comfortable… well, I can go, it’s probably just better if I go, all right? The chair screeches against the floor as he scoots back from the bed.

Pieces are falling into place for Harry. The glow he felt back at the beginning, when this was just a joke, and Nick would pat his belly and ask how the baby’s doing. Nick finding him scared and confused on the floor of the bathroom, Nick taking him to his first doctor’s appointment. Nick poking at the baby. Nick picking him up at an icy service station in the middle of the night. The sinking awfulness of the suspicion that Nick was pulling away. His instinctive request for Nick to come with him to the hospital. Nick’s the person he’s wanted with him, all along.

Nick’s walking toward the door when Harry finally says something. “You want this?” he asks, voice cracking, pointing with his chin to his baby, to his body, to everything.

“So much,” Nick says, leaning his shaking hands on the plastic frame at the end of the bed. “So much.”

“Okay,” Harry says, smiling. He ducks his head to ineffectually wipe the side of his face on the polyester shoulder of his hospital gown. “Okay, yeah.”

Nick walks slowly back to the head of the bed, and offers Harry a tissue from the box on the side table. Harry carefully shifts the baby’s weight onto one arm so he can take it and wipe his eyes and blow his nose. He pats the mattress next to him. “Can you fit?”

Nick can’t, not really, but he squeezes onto the bed anyway, one leg stretched out next to Harry’s and the other braced on the floor. He puts one arm around Harry and the other around the baby, still sleeping in the crook of Harry’s elbow undisturbed by the momentous developments around her. Nick kisses Harry’s temple and Harry turns his head to kiss him properly, and part of the joy of not actually writing this fic means that I don’t have to think of a perfect ending sentence, so I’m just going to leave you here, with Nick and Harry kissing while the baby sleeps in their arms. THE END.

[stillthewordgirl]

LOT/CC fic: Captain Cold and Me (Ch. 4 of 6)

Sara Lance, unbeknownst to her high school classmates, has connections to some of Star City’s most popular super-powered heroes–but no powers of her own. Then the mysterious Captain Cold saves her from an attack…and does his best to convince her that he’s not the bad guy everyone seems to think he is. And maybe not all of the “good guys” should be trusted…

Chapter 4! Can also be read here at AO3 or here at FF.net.

Sara and Felicity found themselves minor celebrities the next day, thanks to their presence on the monorail car. Felicity was probably more rattled by the revelation about two of her heroes than by the narrow escape, but she was quite amenable to telling everyone about the experience regardless. Sara, amused, let her handle it. She had other things on her mind.

She looked for Len all morning with no luck, finally accepting that he was out that day—an oddity, given that he was generally the most punctual and responsible of students. (“I have to be,” he’d told her cynically once. “Everyone’s waiting for me to screw up and prove myself ...his... son.”) Disappointed—and more than a little thoughtful—she'd tried looking up his address with no luck, then sat and stared out the windows so long in the rest of her classes that her teachers presumed she’d been more rattled by the accident than she’d seemed.

After school, she blew off the Creators Club and made her way to the suite of offices being used by the city higher-ups who’d once been located in City Hall. The secretary, who’d known her since childhood, waved her in with a smile, but once Sara was out of sight, she purposefully wandered past her father’s temporary office and toward the corner office, which Malcolm Merlyn would definitely have taken for himself.

Merlyn was a handsome, apparently affable man, although Sara knew well enough that much of that affability was a front. He’d been Moira Queen’s deputy mayor until she’d resigned after the destruction of the first City Hall, taking over and pushing for a platform of increased law and order with the help of Quentin Lance. Sara’s father hadn’t been all that fond of the other man up until then, but they seemed thick as thieves now, bonded over the loss of wife and son.

Sara still didn’t like Merlyn. At all.

She rapped on the door and waited, then tried the doorknob with little hope. When it turned, though, she pushed the door open slowly, an excuse on her lips about looking for her father. But no one was inside and, surprised at her luck, she stepped in carefully, looking around.

Malcolm Merlyn liked the finer things in life, and even though this space was a temporary situation, that was clear in the décor and furnishings. Sara, wondering idly how much taxpayer money had been spent on the leather chairs and immense mahogany desk, drifted farther in, scanning the room, wishing she had a better idea what she was looking for.

Only one errant sheet of paper marred that immaculate desk, and Sara another step closer to see. It wasn’t a sheet, actually, she realized. It was an envelope, with what seemed to be a word scrawled on it. Sara squinted. Tempest?

“Ms. Lance.”

Sara started, then worked hard to keep any sign of guilt from her face as she turned to face Malcolm Merlyn. “Mr. Mayor,” she exclaimed with a smile. “I’m sorry. I was looking for my dad and I thought he had a meeting with you today.”

“Ah.” Merlyn’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “That’s true. However, that meeting has been done a while now.” Turning, he extended an arm to usher Sara out of the office, and she went with alacrity, careful to show no sign of regret.

“Still,” the mayor said as they walked down the hallway toward Sara’s father’s office, “it’s a pleasure to see you again. It’s been a while.” He paused outside the door. “You’re a senior now? At Kanigher-Broome?”

“Yes,” Sara acknowledged, uneasy with the question for some reason. Why shouldn’t the mayor know that? It would be easy enough to find out anyway. “I am.”

“Hmm.” Another one of those not-really-a-smiles. “I probably still know some of your classmates, from when...Tommy...” A shadow passed his eyes, then was gone. “Although he was a few years older. Let’s see...Felicity Smoak? Raymond Palmer? Nathaniel Heywood?” He nodded as Sara murmured agreement. “Anyone else?”

“Yes? It’s a big class. Or no?” Sara blinked up at him innocently. At least, she tried to look innocent. She wasn’t really sure how well she pulled it off. “I’m not sure what you’re asking.”

“Mal...oh, Sara!” Quentin Lance, heading back to his office from parts unknown, looked a combination of pleased and discomfited to see Sara there, and she prepared herself for a lecture about being out without some sort of protection or escort. It would be worth it to get herself out from under Malcolm Merlyn’s reptilian gaze for now. She politely bade the mayor farewell as her dad fetched his keys, ready to drive her home, and turned away despite her better judgment.

Her shoulder blades itched all the way home.

Sara left a note attached to her window that night: “What is Tempest? Saw note in MM office.”

The response, in metallic blue ink the next morning, was: “Working on that. Thanks for looking.” It made Sara smile, to realize he’d checked in on her, but frown, to realize he’d stopped by and not bothered to actually speak to her. Good enough to do his dirty work, not enough to let in on the problem a little more, she thought with irritation.

“So I’m bad ass, but not enough to help you more with this?” was the response she’d left. There’d been no response to that.

Supers. Ugh.

There continued to be an array of crises around Star City, more than the usual crimes the city was sadly known for—suspicious accidents, vandalism, at least one arson. Oliver and Laurel were kept hopping, and Sara’s father was even more distracted than usual. Everyone assumed Captain Cold was causing the incidents. Everyone, it seemed, but Sara.

“But why?” she asked while sitting in Creator Clubs one afternoon with Felicity, Ray, Barry, Iris, and…slightly on their periphery, a very quiet Len. “Why would he do all this and not take credit for it? And most of it has nothing to do with ice. Why not use his powers if he’s really committed to causing chaos?”

“Well, no one knows his full power set,” Iris pointed out. “Most supers have a few, in addition to the healing factor and other stuff.” She nibbled the end of her pencil, looking thoughtful. Iris was interning at the Star City Citizen newspaper. It’d been far more even-handed than the city’s tabloid paper and all of the bloggers, making no assumptions about the cause of all the incidents, but that didn’t mean the opinion pages weren’t full of letters calling for Captain Cold’s head.

“You’re right,” Iris said finally, looking at Sara. “It’s weird. But if it’s not him…”

“That’s what people are afraid of.” They all looked at Ray, who shrugged. “If it’s not him, they don’t know who it is. And people would rather know. Or think they do.” He frowned at his physics book, open in front of him. “Or they have to realize that everyday crime in Star is really that bad. Or start wondering about another new supervillain…or a hero going bad. Like Green Arrow. Or the Flash.”

Felicity and Barry spoke up at once, defending the heroes, and the conversation went way off track. Sara shook her head (she wasn’t going to defend Ollie, he didn’t need it) and looked over at Len, who’d simply been listening while working on something on his battered laptop.

“What do you think?” she asked him, recklessly, curious to see what he’d say—and not just because of the tiny germ of a suspicion she’d entertained once or twice. They’d talked about a lot, but never this. “About Captain Cold?”

Len propped his chin on his fist and regarded her with those remarkable pale blue eyes. Then he shrugged and glanced back down at his laptop.

“I think he’s an idiot,” he said quietly.

“What? Why?” Sara frowned at him, annoyed both at her impulse to defend the infuriating super and at Leonard’s surprising response. Len was fond of logic, and Sara thought her take on the issue was completely logical. (Well. Mostly.) She also figured he’d be there to defend someone else who might be…unfairly painted with the wrong brush, so to speak.

Len shrugged again. “If he’s innocent,” he said, speaking to his computer and not to her, which was odd, “why doesn’t he say something? Why all this cloak-and-dagger garbage?” He looked up at her, eyes intent. “He’s trouble.”

And to that, Sara wasn’t sure what to say.

But when trouble came, it came from a direction that surprised her—and targeted someone she didn’t expect.

“They actually let that…that man’s spawn into your school?” Quentin Lance’s voice was sharp and angry when he stalked into the kitchen one morning about a week later, and while Sara could tell it wasn’t really directed at her, she still paused in the act of cutting up a banana for her cereal to stare at him. What...

Oh.

How had he heard about Len’s return to Star City? Len kept to himself, refusing to do anything that might put his name out there. Sara knew he’d even asked the school guidance counselors to keep his name off the honor roll listings sent to the local newspapers.

“Dad!” she said, holding up her hands and sending a helpless glance toward Laurel, who was sitting at the kitchen table and eating her own breakfast. Her sister was staring at their father in surprise. “He’s fine. It’s fine. Really! He’s a good guy, and he hates...”

But her father wasn’t even listening to her, instead shaking his head and staring off into space. Seeing, perhaps, the memory of his wife, or the hateful face of Lewis Snart as he’d refused to speak at his own trial.

“It’s OK, honey,” Quentin said, absently, taking out his phone. “I’m going to get that... delinquent...transferred somewhere else. Somewhere away from you.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe he’s even back in Star City. He made some…well, some accusations back…after...” His mouth worked briefly, like he’d tasted something bad. “It’s one of the reasons Malcolm made sure anyone who’d take them in wasn’t in Star,” he continued quietly. “After everything he went through…with Tommy…to hear that...garbage...”

“Dad!”

As much as Sara appreciated Laurel cutting in to back her up, she really would have preferred her sister wait a few more moments. What garbage? Was he referring to Leonard? Something he’d said? He’d only been 15.

Their father looked up in surprise, frowning at the looks on his daughters’ faces. Laurel looked over at Sara, studying her expression, then nodded and looked back.

“Dad,” she said quietly. “Listen to Sara. She’s OK with it. And so am I. It’s not this kid’s fault.” She took a deep breath. “We’re all just trying to...to put our lives back together. You know?”

Quentin stared at her, then looked back at Sara. She licked her lips and nodded in agreement, unwilling to admit yet just how close she and Leonard had grown, but knowing that she didn’t want his life to be upended again just for the “crime” of being someone’s son.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” her father said quietly. “But...all right.” He turned his phone off and tucked it away again. Sara breathed a sigh of relief. But he wasn’t done quite yet, pointing at his younger daughter, his eyes full of grief and a degree of anger that Sara didn’t understand.

“You stay away from him, though,” he commanded. “You can’t trust that family. Liars and crooks.” He shook his head, then repeated it. “Liars and crooks...”

That didn’t sound like her father, and Sara frowned at him, then at Laurel as he turned away. Her sister gave her a helpless shrug, but she was frowning too.

Well. Her father didn’t seem to realize that Sara had made no promises. And Sara wasn’t going to point that out.

Sara didn’t have the heart to tell Leonard about her father’s near-attempt to get him tossed out of school, although she knew she probably should, just to warn him. She enjoyed his company, a lot, and she was pretty sure they were working their way toward something more.

A few days later, Len confirmed that.

It was the sort of sunny autumn Monday when no one wanted to be in school, and they were no exception. Most of seniors flexed their upperclassmen’s privileges at every opportunity, leaving the building to grab lunch or just sit outside talking during breaks. Len had developed a fondness for perching on the top of one of the stone platforms that flanked the stairs leading up to the school and watching everything around him, and Sara often joined him, enjoying the warmth of the sun-warmed stone and, she’d admit, his closeness.

That particular day, he was leaning backward, propped on his hands, which had the effect of placing one of his arms across Sara’s back, almost as if he had an arm around her. She paused, then leaned into it, and he didn’t move, the physical affection accepted. It was a delicate dance—but it was becoming theirs.

“So,” he said, staring out across the lawn, and reached up with his other hand to rub absently at his shoulder. Even during the warm late fall weather, he always wore long sleeves, and Sara was pretty sure she knew why. But she wasn’t going to bring it up if he didn’t. “Spirit Week, huh? Can’t say I’ve ever taken part in one of those.”

Sara snorted. Yeah, she could really see him taking part in today’s Crazy Hair Monday, or ‘80s Day, any one of the other days during the run-up to the homecoming football game. She studied him a moment, getting a smirk as if he’d read her mind, then shook her head.

“You going to the homecoming game?” he asked after another moment.

“Nah. Football isn’t my thing.”

“Same. Or the dance?”

Hmm. Sara gave him a considering glance. “I wasn’t planning on it,” she said slowly. “Why?”

Len was looking anywhere but her. “Just wondered if you’d like to do something else. Hm. Grab dinner? Maybe?”

Sara tilted her head. Well, well.

“Yeah,” she said. “I’d like that.” She cast him a sideways glance, smiling a little, then elbowed him. “Hey. Just to be clear. You’re talking about a date?”

That got another smirk. “Well. Yeah.” He turned his head toward her a little more, just as Sara leaned toward him a little more, too, and their noses brushed...

“Awww!”

Len sighed, then turned his head and regarded Felicity with weary amusement. Sara’s friend was standing next to them on the stairs, giving them puppy eyes.

“Really?” he asked. Len and Felicity were developing an odd, resigned affection for each other, one based on their mutual fondness for Sara. But that didn’t mean they didn’t give each other shit all the time.

“What?” Felicity beamed up at him, then bumped Sara’s hip with her shoulder. Sara rolled her eyes, then bumped her back. Such was life.

No matter how distracting the notion of going on an actual date with Leonard Snart was, it wasn’t enough to distract Sara from the knowledge that there was more going on with her handsome classmate than met the eye. And she couldn’t get away from the sense of paranoia the whole situation instilled in her, enough that she decided not to search for more information at home or at school.

The library, however, she decided to dare. She could wipe her search history, and she knew the librarians did it again after closing.

The most any of the newspaper reports of the time had mentioned was that Lewis Snart had two children, a son in high school and an elementary-aged daughter. There was no mention anywhere that Sara could find of any accusations by one of those children. She frowned, running her fingers along the edge of the keyboard and glancing around to make sure no one was looking over her shoulder.

So, they must have been made in private. And based on what her father had said, they’d involved the mayor. Well…the current mayor. If Len had made a serious accusation about Malcolm Merlyn to someone after the City Hall quake, it probably would have been Moira Queen.

And the police commissioner.

“Ollie? Can I come down there?”

“Sure,” came the call up the stairs from the basement. “Just…ah, heck. Watch your step, OK?”

Sara shook her head as she stepped over the quiver, arrows spilling out of it, that had been dumped onto one of the stairs, as if it’d just gotten too heavy for its owner. Maybe it had, for all she knew. Oliver and Laurel had been really weary, lately, with everything that was going on.

Oliver’s “ArrowCave” wasn’t really too disreputable, though. Laurel spent enough time down here that it wouldn’t be. And Ollie had come a long way from the irresponsible playboy in the making that he’d been once. But all the fancy furniture Sara remembered seeing in the Queen mansion once was replaced here by comfortable, overstuffed furniture, the expensive paintings replaced by movie posters and photographs of the city. Sara looked around, smiling a little. No wonder Oliver didn’t mind his allowance from his mom. Sara was pretty sure he spent most of it on junk food and weaponry anyway.

The man in question was walking out of his bedroom, a basket of laundry in hand. Yeah, Oliver had come a long way. His blond hair was mussed, he was wearing a pair of ripped sweatpants and a Star City Rockets T-shirt, and he grinned when he saw her.

“Hey, kid,” he greeted her, from the lofty height of two years of advanced age. “To what do I owe the visit? Your sister’s at the college library doing some studying.”

Laurel was doing preliminary law studies online, but sometimes she liked to be out on campus. And Sara knew perfectly well where her sister was. She’d planned it that way.

She took a deep breath, then took a seat on the sofa. “I wanted to ask you a question. About…after the quake.”

Ollie tilted his head, then sat down, watching her. “Go on.”

This had been a lot easier when Sara had rehearsed it upstairs in her room. “Your mom,” she said carefully. “Did she ever say if…if there was any doubt? What caused it? Or…who?” The time was a bit of a blur for Sara, for obvious reasons, but all the news stories she’d found in hindsight hadn’t put blame on anyone but the only person who’d been arrested for it.

Oliver looked started, but not angry at her question. He hesitated, then reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Sara,” he said gently. “It was Lewis Snart. They caught him on video, carrying the device into the tunnels under City Hall, setting it up and then fleeing. Red handed.”

Sara shook her head. “I know that,” she said. “But…” She took a deep breath. “Was he working alone? Was there ever any question? And, I mean, where did he get it?”

She partly expected Oliver to just shoot the questions down, but instead he looked thoughtful.

“Mom said once that there was something,” he said slowly. “But…why wouldn’t Snart have said something? Why wouldn’t he implicate any co-conspirators?” He shook his head. “He didn’t say anything. At his trial. Refused to even speak.”

“I remember.” Sara looked down at her hands, then back up. “But did someone else? Say something?”

Oliver frowned. “Y’know,” he said slowly, leaning back against his chair. “I think maybe someone did? I don’t know who.” He shook his head again. “But I know my mom was really upset by it.” He glanced at Sara. “Turned out it was completely without value. She was really relieved. That’s when she decided to leave the city, get away from the memories.”

Sara bit her lip in frustration. But she didn’t think there was any good way to continue the line of questioning, and she was pretty Oliver had told her all he knew, anyway.

“Don’t say anything to my dad,” she said suddenly. “About me asking. Please? He’s got enough on his mind. And he still hates talking about it.”

Oliver nodded, getting to his face and picking up his laundry basket.

“I promise,” he said solemnly, holding up one hand and balancing the basket on his hip. “Scout’s honor.”

Sara laughed despite herself. “Oliver Queen, you were never a Boy Scout.”

“Still.”

The day of the homecoming game and dance came without incident. Sara threaded her way through the crowds of chattering students at school, smiling to herself at all the green and black for School Spirit Day. Her one concession to the week and the day had been to wear a green sweater and small black hoop earrings, but others went all out—face paint even at school, entire ensembles, and over-the-top headgear.

Leonard was on his usual perch outside, looking around at the gleeful ridiculousness surrounded him with an air of amusement. His eyes lit as he saw her, and Sara grinned, hopping up next to him. She leaned against his shoulder, and he let her, and it was as good as a kiss, nearly, for them.

“So,” she asked as they watched the excited throng, “what are the plans for tonight?” She glanced at Len as he hummed thoughtfully. “C’mon, I let you keep it a secret until now, but I need to have some idea.”

Blue eyes sparkled at her. A corner of his mouth twitched up, and she wondered what he was thinking.

“Well,” he said, “I thought I’d pick you up at home, if that’s OK? Um.” He glanced away, and the mischief in his eyes faded a little. “You probably don’t want your dad to meet me…yet…but I sort of feel like I should meet some member of your family. Your sister, maybe?”

Her dad would almost certainly be at the game as part of the police detail and as a leading public servant. Laurel might be home…or she might be out, being Black Canary. Sara nibbled at her lip, appreciating his gesture even as she pondered the best way to handle this.

“I’ll see what I can do,” she said. “About Laurel. I think maybe she’d sort of like to meet you. Although she doesn’t know that…um. That we’re…”

Dating? Could she say that before they’d actually gone on a date? What were they, anyway? Sara sighed, hating the uncertainty that came with these sorts of things, even without the whole “my father hates you” mess.

Leonard nodded. He had an odd expression too, almost conflicted, presumably for the same reason.

“Well,” he said, seeming to choose his words carefully, “let’s say 6:30, if that’s OK. I have…something to check on…first.” He paused. “So. If your sister can be there…?”

“I’ll try.” She smiled, trying to lighten the mood a little. “But…what should I wear?”

Oh, that was definitely mischief. Len eyed her a moment, that smirk of his hovering around his lips.

“Something you can move in,” he said. “Sneakers, or shoes you can…run in.”

Hmmm. The tiny germ of suspicion unfolded a tiny bit more.  “Oh, you don’t want me in that sexy dress I bought, then?” Sara asked lightly, pretty sure there was a good deal of mischief in her own eyes.

He coughed. “Well, now, I didn’t say that. But maybe another time?”

“Deal.”

Sara’s father accepted her demurral about being uninterested in the homecoming game without comment. Sara watched him leave with regret. She really didn’t like hiding something from him but given that he was so uninterested in her life anyway…well, that was how it had to be. Oliver had departed too, planning to perch somewhere he could watch the game and be present in case of trouble,

Laurel had departed for the library, planning to get some studying in, and Sara couldn’t think of a good way to stop her without confessing that she was hiding something from their dad. She waved goodbye, sighed, then went to get ready.

She dressed in good jeans, the ones with a hidden side gusset for greater movement and high kicks, and a form-fitting dark gray top, one that had come inexplicably with a hood. Then she did her makeup with a little more care than usual. Well, just because this wasn’t a conventional date didn’t mean she wasn’t going to do something special.

She was contemplating what to do with her hair, though, when there was a scratch at her window. And as she whirled, it opened, and Captain Cold leaned through.

He pushed back his outer hood and goggles, taking a deep breath and staring at her with those overly blue eyes.

Then, “I need your help,” he said.

Sara stared at him then looked at her phone. Ten minutes to 6:30.

“I have plans,” she said, hoping this wasn’t what she thought it was. “I haven’t seen…you…since you passed out in my room, and now this? No.”

Cold shook his head roughly and let out a noise that was part a sigh, part a curse.

“Damn it, I didn’t want…” he muttered, then buried his head in his gloved hands. But after only a moment, he looked back up, seeing her still standing there, watching him, and apparently noticed the hesitation in her demeanor.

“Something is going down, tonight, now, and the only other person who could back me up isn’t in the city today,” he said, voice catching, slipping out of the habitual low drawl. “You’re right that I said you were bad ass, that…that first night we met. And I need your help. Please?”

Sara closed her eyes, and Cold continued, still in that intense tone. “ I promise…I promise I’ll explain, as much as I can, but I need to go now and I need someone to watch my back.”

She opened her eyes again and studied him, the tense body language, the conflict in his voice. Thought about pale blue eyes and leaning against each other in the fall sunshine, about mystery dates and scarred shoulders and the scent of mint. And tempests.

“OK,” she said finally, hearing him actually sigh in relief. “Just a moment.”

Then she turned away, pulling out her phone and starting a text.

And then she stopped and stared at it a moment. Thinking. Remembering. Putting things together.

And then she put it away, in her pocket, zipping it up securely.

Leap of faith.

Sara quickly braided her hair and coiled it up against her head, pinning it securely. She tucked a knife (another knife) up her sleeve, and grabbed her batons from her weapons rack. And then she turned back to the tall, parka-clad figure who was watching her with such a conflicted expression on what was visible of his face.

“OK,” she told him firmly. “Let’s go.”

[canaryatlaw]

alright. well today was.....the first day of the bar exam. Don’t know if I have any better description than that. it was something alright. I woke up to my alarm (which I had set to the Mean Girls song I’ve been using as my pump up song but starts with just Kevin screaming “Yo Yo Mathletes!!”) and did get myself out of bed, I was planning to leave at 6:15 so I had plenty of time to get ready. So I brushed my teeth and changed, they said to dress in layers because the exam rooms might be hot or cold (spoiler alert, it was FREEZING), so I picked a tank top and leggings with a zip up hoodie if needed. The email they sent (they people the people from my school who are trying to get us to pass the bar) yesterday said that when you wake up read a book or something (but no outlines) for 10 minutes to wake up your brain, or something like that, so I read the little local Chicago magazine that they keep in hotels saying all the cool things to do in Chicago this summer. I made the microwave minute muffin that I was telling you all about last night, but I was super careful to stir it all the way so there were no unmoistened bits and it was a wonderful double chocolatey muffin experience that I was very pleased with, and then ate a granola bar for good measure because you know, good breakfasts. when it was like 6:15 I headed downstairs where there were several other law students (recognizable because of the plastic bags we all had with our computers inside them) were all waiting and got in an uber, I thought of maybe sharing with some of them but there are like 3 different test sites all in this area so idk where they all were going. And in this area I mean these are the only sites for all of Chicago (and potentially all of Illinois? don’t quote me on that but that might’ve been the case) and there were a ton of kids from other law schools around, mostly recognizable because they were all wearing stuff from their school which I apparently did not think to do, but oh well. I arrived there around 6:20 (it was a really short ride obviously, that was the point) and got out of the uber to see my bus orgs professor standing there looking slightly confused, and he saw me so I said hi and he said that a group of them were supposed to be here greeting us (which was also in the email from yesterday) and that he had been told to get there at 6:15 but he was now the only person present, which sounded familiar to me always be the on time person. But we chatted a little which was nice, I hadn’t really seen him since the class ended in the fall, and despite me finding bus orgs terribly boring I did rather enjoy him as a professor. So the doors were opening at 6:30, so a bunch of us were just kinda milling around in front of the building. It was on one of the college campuses around here (it’s U of Illinois Chicago) in a building called the “forum” which apparently has large rooms in it where a lot of people can sit for tests. So they open the doors at 6:30, there are metal detectors directly after the doors, and they were checking bags as well. I’m not sure if metal detectors would find the kind of contraband they were actually looking for (like I’m sure it’s good to know there aren’t any guns too, but nobody’s really concerned about sneaking a gun into the bar exam), they were more focused on keeping all electronics out of the room, which is understandable. I still have had my period today but very little cramping, so I didn’t need to use the thingy that I stowed in my bag anyway but wouldn't have been able to use during the test because technically it’s an electronic. But we got through the metal detectors and were directed to tables where we showed them our photo IDs and they gave us our photo name badges which we then had to wear for always the rest of the test. I have the world’s worst photo of me on mine, but it’s technically my fault because I’m the one who uploaded it, but in my defense it was like, two hours before the window for submitting your application was gonna close and like 10 o clock at night so I just took a photo of my unmake-uped face against my white wall without me smiling like they wanted and surprise surprise, it looks terrible, but oh well I’m over it. We then got shown the room where we could leave our stuff we couldn’t bring into the test room, which was pretty much everything. I was using my black legends drawstring bag that we got in Florida, so I left my phone, the charger I brought with me and the external battery (because I’m prepared) along with some food and a gatorade, plus a few other things. The only things we could take into the room were our laptops and chargers, then in a little ziplock bag you could have your photo id, cash/credit card, transportation card, keys, pads and earplugs. We all had giant ziplock bags (the 2 1/2 gallon ones) to carry our laptops and chargers in because that’s what they told us to get. So we got into the test room with our little bags and computers. I found my seat all the way in the front right corner, and this room is BIG, like best estimate there were maybe 2,000 people? You didn’t really see it until everyone went to leave and it was like impossible to get through the doors and then you’re like oh wow, there’s a lot of people here. But I was in the second row, third seat in from the right wall, so pretty much on the edge, but hey it’s fine we got a perfect view of the guy at the podium who was legit right in front of us. They had the two big screens down both displaying a “clock” tab with the time counting up by seconds. In the instructions it had said if we were mac users who didn’t have a usb port you could bring your little converter thing, so I took mine with me just in case, but didn’t think I would need it. I got to the instructions they had on the tables for the computers and it had this whole thing about no usb’s or data transferring devices and I was like shit am I gonna get in trouble for this? So I took it to the proctors right in front and said it said in the instructions that I could bring it but idk if it qualifies under these rules. They both pretty much looked at me like they had no idea what I was talking about, probably because they didn’t understand what the thing actually did, but recommended I go on to the tech people, who I asked and they said oh yeah that’s fine, the other’s just don’t understand how to use things lol so that was solved. I didn’t think I’d need it, I just didn’t want to get in trouble for having it. So I sat down and logged onto my computer, got the exam stuff up and waited. There was this stuff on the program saying if you didn’t have wifi access you’d have to wait to upload your exam answers to later and I was like well that sounds perturbing so I checked if we could get wifi and that was a big nope, so that was a nice little anxiety inducer. Waited for a while, more people came, I think we officially started at either 8:30 or 9, I don’t remember exactly. First was the “Illinois Essay Exam” which is the only part of the test that is completely unique to Illinois, the other portions are all used by other states (most states have switched to what they call the Uniform Bar Exam which has reciprocity across most states, but Illinois isn’t switching until next July [boo], so we instead had pieces of the UBE but not the whole thing). I was a bit nervous about this part because a lot of it depended on knowing where Illinois law differed from the majority law you would otherwise learn, and there was the potential to be hit with some questions from the really fringe subjects like personal property that you know I had a 2 hour lecture on and that was it, so I was glad to see it was mostly mainline stuff, so that wasn’t bad. 90 minutes for that, 3 essays, not bad. After that we switched into the Multistate Performance Test that most other states use as well, and it’s a closed packet of info from which you need to draw up some sort of legal document based on the facts and laws inclosed. I had thought this would probably be the easiest part for me because given all the info I can write stuff no problem, and it definitely wasn’t hard, but it was.....odd. Not like any of the practice ones I’ve done, it was about drafting language for the articles of incorporation of this rugby league and dealing with a bunch of corporate stuff that seemed really easy, like stupid easy? So either I did really well or I totally fucked it up, but I’m fairly certain it was the first lol, so that was a relief, even though the nerdy side of me was like awww now I don’t get to write a long essay that I’m really good at writing, but that’s really okay. We breaked for lunch, I saw a few of my friends briefly but then got separated from them. The deal was that the school was going to bring us lunches, and they were set up somewhere for us to get to. When we left the building there were like 3 other schools set up with their lunches right there but ours weren’t, so I was trying to follow the directions to the spot they said in the email but it was not going well and I could tell I was just getting lost, and I was like fuck it I’ll just get some food from the popeye’s that’s right here, except it all got fucked up and was spicy and I couldn’t eat any of it except the biscuit, so basically lunch was a massive failure on multiple levels, but I had some pretzels in my bag so I wasn’t starving. Got back in and ready to go, the afternoon was the Multistate Essay Exam (don’t you love all these titles?) which was similar to the Illinois one but based on federal/majority law. It still had the opportunity to get into some fringe subjects though. it was 3 hours, 6 essays, so same odds as before. It can be hard for me to tell how well I actually did coming out of a test like that because I’m really good at bs-ing and I know it, so if I can come up with some good bs my mind thinks it’s all good when it could actually not be, but whatever. The first one was a con law question that was about marijuana of course, but was kind of on an odd basis, but I think I got the law part right so that was good. There was one about a corporation where I got to use my favorite line of the day “....because things that do not exist cannot enter into business deals” and one regarding trusts that was probably the biggest fringe subject, but I spent the last few days going over trusts (for like, the first time, but still) so the rules were fairly fresh in my mind and I think I got all of the intricacies of it right. There was one question that was just like straight evidence questions, and like those are my jam, so I get typing and I’m going and going and- oh wait, I hit the character limit and I didn’t even start the third prompt within the question yet. WHOOPS. The character limit was 4600, which really is not very much, so I had to go back and remove the bs I wrote in the first two prompts, just because I knew I could write it, and then wrote my third answer and had to move some more stuff around and delete some more bs, but I ended up with a final product that was exactly 4599 characters, which is really a masterpiece, so I was like alright perfect I’m not touching it from here lol. I ended up finishing with about 20 minutes left, so I read over a few of them and made minor changes, just details and such. Then we were done and had to wait for them to collect all the papers and then account for all of them before we could get released, then of course I had to make it through the massive crowd just to get outside. I did get outside and got an uber to my hotel room because I had to go there for wifi to upload my friggin exam answers, and let me tell you guys, this was the most anxiety inducing thing, because when you click submit on the test it will try to upload the answers but then see you don’t have wifi and be like oh it failed and the proctors are just like “yeah just go home and when you get wifi open the program and it’ll upload the answers” and I’m just like.....you couldn’t have just let us into the wifi you already have set up in this building??? Like do you know how much anxiety this process is going to give me?? The proctor said to make sure we hold onto our laptops as in the previous year someone had actually left theirs on a Chicago public transit bus which was like oH GOD WHY level nightmare, so I was making sure that didn’t happen. The uber took a while to get there because it was rush hour and there was traffic, and while I had been taking the afternoon part of the test I was like I’m gonna get out and text Jess and bug her until she agrees to go get food with me, then when I turned my phone back on and opened twitter I already had a message from her being like I can’t wait till Thursday morning like we originally said I need to see you and get food after the test tomorrow and I was just like bitch come get food with me now which she readily agreed to, which was easier than I expected lol. The uber finally came, I got to my hotel and logged onto wifi so the exam answers would upload, and legit right after they did that I switched a few things out of my bags and then headed back out. I walked a few blocks to the train that’s nearby, it’s the same stop as my church so I was familiar, and took that to the red line and then up to where we had agreed to meet because Jess wanted to take me to her spy restaurant which is really the only restaurant she knows in the city of Chicago (and now that I wrote that she’s probably going to wind up reading it even though she never reads these posts) and we definitely did not get lost getting there, that did not happen, but we did get there and it was cool, you just enter this random door on a building and it brings you to this little entry way where you have to say the “password” and get confirmed, then the wall opens and there are stairs down to the actual restaurant, which was pretty cool, outfitted with a lot of spy and James Bond stuff. We ended up just getting a table by the bar because it was kind of crowded, so we just chilled and she told me literally everything that happened at SDCC this weekend which, let me tell you, was a trip, then we decided we’d split an appetizer of cheese curds, then we were both gonna order the grilled cheese that also contains cheese curds because we are 100% those people lol. The service was kinda slow but I didn’t really care because we were talking and have fun, but of course those are Jess’ stories to tell so I won’t spoil any of them here other than saying she had a ridiculously awesome time, even if it had some stressful moments with stupid security guards. We eventually finished and paid, then ran around the restaurant checking out the rest of the spy stuff and hitting random buttons that caused different things to happen which was pretty cool, then to get out you had to put a dollar in a payphone which would then ring and give you a code which you had to enter, and then the wall would open which led to this staircase down and then up again that was covered with the little name tags they give you to write your “spy name” on, and then when you get to the door you come out in the lobby of this random hotel that’s like, a fully functional hotel, so that was pretty fun. We eventually figured out how to get to the train (read: I wasn’t navigating and Jess only got lost a little bit this time) and we decided to save ice cream for tomorrow even though I wanted ice cream now, because I was also full of cheese curds and other types of cheese. So I got on the red line and then switched to the blue line, then got off and walked the rest of the bit back to the hotel. While walking back my parents called, just wanted to check in so I told them everything and they seemed pretty happy about all of it, so that was good. Since we did all the essays today tomorrow is just going to be the multiple choice questions, 200 of them in two sessions of three hours each, 100 per session. They’re all hypos though so they take a while to answer and the supposed time allotment for each question is 1.8 minutes, so it’s a solid amount of work I’d say. It was like 9:15 by the time I got back and I desperately needed to shower because I hadn't since Monday morning because I didn’t want to have to wake up even earlier this morning to do it, so I got in the shower and changed into my pajamas, watched tv and did internet stuff for a bit before figuring I still had to get up pretty early, though an hour later than today, so that’s an improvement, so I’d better start writing this post and that’s what I did. Of course it took longer than usual because I end up being incredibly detailed about days like today even when I don’t consciously think to do it. Oh well. And now I’m here, it’s almost midnight, and I need to wake up at 6:30 am, so I’m gonna take all of those as reasons why it’s time for me to go to bed now. Goodnight babes. Stay magical.

[gmailsignoutproblemss]

Shrink Your Technology - How to Work Anywhere, Anytime Out of a Backpack

1) Introduction

Years and years ago, as payment for a consulting job, I got an early NCR laptop. I bought a HUGE briefcase to hold the thing. Ever since then I've been on a quest to pack a complete office into a single, easy-to-tote bag. Not a laptop bag or briefcase or tote with wheels and a handle - a simple shoulder or messenger bag. This is how I did it - with some ideas on how you can too.

2) Goals for my "system in a bag"

Web Access

What I wanted to be able to do was access the web and email from almost anywhere. While I realize this probably doesn't include the Gobi desert, I wanted to work MOST places where cell phone coverage can be had. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was moving into the "cloud"; I've found that I do more and more of my work in web-based applications. The main benefit is the ability to move from computer to computer without having to carry files with me.

Local Access

Obviously, I need access to files locally - both on a spinning hard drive and on various USB drives. Again the goal - never lose access to files no matter where you are. If I was writing an article and left it on my desktop; forgetting to copy it to a card or memory stick, I was out of luck till I got back home.

Secure

My friend Mike James has hammered security into me over the years. If I was access to email or file transfer, it had to be safe and secure. Information needed to be shared as necessary, but at other times files needed to go back and forth securely.

Messenging

Web access includes access to g-talk from Google as well as the possibility of web-based phone, though I don't use that yet. I wanted to be able to stay in touch with the world from whatever machine I was on.

Documents

I'm trying SO hard to eliminate paper. The PC I've chosen has a touch screen, but I'm not fully using it. Documents I use are more and more in PDF, Word, or even Google Doc format. I wanted to reach the point where I didn't even need to take notes using pen and ink. I'm close, but as you'll see, there's still a step further I hope to go.

Presentations

I'm a 'sometimes' speaker and presenter, so I wanted access to PowerPoint if needed. I also wanted to have the ability to make web presentations even if I didn't have access to laptops, CDs or thumb drives.

File backup

Being somewhat paranoid, I want copies of copies of copies of important stuff. Some onsite, some offsite. This solution has to offer ways to save and access files remotely. What else needs to be said? If you've ever lost a hard drive, scratched a CD or lost a portable drive or thumb drive, you KNOW the pain of not having a backup.

3) Equipment

I chose equipment I could afford that met the criteria of multi-functionality and portability. There are multiple ways to do what I have done with different equipment; I'm simply outlining the categories of equipment and software that will allow you to work anywhere.

UMPC

UMPC is an acronym for Ultra Mobile PC and stands for any extremely lightweight PC. For that matter, my Palm Treo SmartPhone could count as a UMPC. The point is to have a small, easy-to-carry PC that will function long periods on battery power. Since most of us huddle over a desktop or laptop PC all day, doesn't it make sense to have one that doesn't require a separate, heavy-duty wheeled tote to carry around?

Fujitsu P1610

The 1610 is a small, light Windows PC with built-in WIFI and a PC card slot which I use for the Verizon mobile broadband card. It also has an SD storage card slot which allows me to interchange the data files in my Treo and Exilim digital camera. The main downside is the smaller keyboard since I have large hands, but I've learned to cope.

The 60 GB drive is more than adequate since most of my storage is remote; the extended battery gives me over 3 hours of use. There is no CD drive, but I can copy things to the hard drive or my external 120 GB USB drive. This device is the beginning "platform" on which the overall system is built.

Windows Smartphone

Why a Windows Smartphone? Why not Symian, Palm or Blackberry? Mainly because I'm already comfortable with Windows and, no matter what you think of Microsoft, Windows and Windows Mobile "play well together". Windows Mobile offers email, Word, Excel and PowerPoint as well as calendaring, contacts, etc. And later you'll see that I've incorporated (free) software that allows me to mostly eliminate handwritten notes.

[lovemesomesurveys]

why are you where you are right now? Because I have nowhere else to be and I’m a hermit crab.

did you use to watch blues clues? Yeah.

whats your opinion on people wearing high heels to school? Do you, boo. It doesn’t bother me.

what game system(s) do you own? We have an Xbox, PS2, PS4, and a Wii.

are you a twilight fan? I was back when it was a big thing. 

what are you hungry for right now? I’ll be warming up some leftover lasagna from last night in a bit.

when’s the last time you threw up? Like 3 or 4 years ago.

why did you throw up? I caught some kind of virus.

play any musical instruments? I used to play some piano. I regret not keeping up with that.

what difficulty do you play on guitar hero? Easy. I rocked that easy level like nobody’s business, though. haha.

do you have any piercings other than on your ears? Nope.

what school did your father attend? A high school in California and a college in Missouri.

are your nails painted at the moment? Nope.

what will you be doing tomorrow? Nothing I know of.

do you still buy cds or do you just download everything? I use Spotify for music.

do you listen to any music that doesn’t have lyrics? Very, very rarely.

do you stutter when you get nervous? Yes.

describe what you were wearing yesterday. Leggings and a gray sweatshirt.

that last person you talked to on the phone said… She was transferring me to the person I needed to talk to.

you’re at the grocery store, what 3 fruits do you get? Bananas, strawberries, and cantaloupe.

your lunch consisted of..? I haven’t had lunch, yet, but like I said I’ll be warming up some lasagna soon.

do you attend church regularly? No, not as of now. I do read and study the Bible daily, though.

any superstitions? I do the whole knock on wood thing. Well, mostly I just say it rather than actually knock on wood cause usually I’m not near any. Or I’ll just knock on something else. You get what I mean.

what is your favorite superhero movie? I like Spiderman. Funny, since I’m terrified of spiders. I like Batman, too.

do you listen to cobra starship? I used to. Wow, I forgot about them.

do you watch gossip girl? I did not. I thought I would watch that show. I read some of the books and was looking forward to the show, but for some reason I never did.

what do you get whenever you go school shopping? I’m done with school, but I sure loved going back to school shopping. I loved getting school supplies and new outfits.

do you have a temper? No. I do get irritable and annoyed pretty easily, though.

do you consider yourself responsible? With some things, but I could certainly be more responsible about other things. Especially about my health.

what is the time? 11:56AM.

anything special going on today? No.

are you tired? Always.

what is your favorite kind of chips? I was always a spicy, hot kind of chip person. Unfortunately, I can’t have hot stuff anymore. :/

last time you ate chocolate? It’s been awhile.

would you live in another country if you had the chance? I don’t know.

do you think that aliens exist? *shrug*

what kind of mascara do you use? I think the one I currently have is the Rimmel brand.

what do you doodle most often? I always write random stuff in cursive when I doodle for some reason.

if you went to jail, what would you go for? I have no idea.

are there any bruises on your body right now? No.

what about scratches? No.

what are they from? ---

if you died next week, what would be the cause of death? I don’t know. :O

what do you think about dating websites? I’m not interested.

what is your favorite thing to get at starbucks? A vanilla latte or one of their seasonal drinks.

what about at mcdonalds? A McDouble and a coffee or fountain soda.

do you wear contacts or glasses? I wear glasses.

your ex, do you still love them? I’ll always have feelings for him.

are you two still friends? No. We’re just...nothing.

what is one memory you have from elementary school? Field days.

do you own a pair of converses? I own a few pairs.

do you own a box or markers or crayons? No, but I have a lot of colored pencils.

how many clocks are in your room? One. Well, four if you count my phone, laptop, and TV. I just have one actual clock hanging up.

how many fridges are in your house? One.

what about freezers? One, that is apart of the refrigerator.

do you like seafood? No.

what time will you go to bed tonight? Probably 2, maybe 4. I’m always up late.

[purplesurveys]

568

Have you ever had a really bad haircut? I haven’t had any truly awful ones. The only time I felt ‘meh’ about a haircut was when I went to the salon on my own and told the hairdresser what I wanted myself. I was never good at that kind of stuff, and always prefer being with someone so they can tell me if I’m headed somewhere good or otherwise. Did you ever order any clothes from the Alloy catalogue? I’ve never heard of that. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I’ve only ever used eyeliner at one point in my life and I’ve forgotten every detail about it. It was black, though. Do you wear eyeliner? I used to. I wanted to look nice post-breakup, so I learned how to do makeup to feel good about myself. Was there ever a time in your life when you couldn't cry? I guess when I have HAD to cry in the past, as in for a skit, I couldn’t. But I can be triggered and cry very easily otherwise.

What's your favorite type of yogurt? I hate yogurt, I hate everything that’s sour (except for sour tapes, but even those I can only handle at a certain level of sourness haha). What posters did you have on your wall as a teenager? Wrestling. My mom took them down for no reason eventually, even though I loved having them up on my wall. What are your favorite type of calendars? I mean I don’t obsess over calendars enough to have a favorite type? so a digital one on my phone and laptop is fine with me. I do sometimes wish I was rich enough just to be able to spend on those novelty calendars with Audrey Hepburn photos and Monet paintings in every month, though. Do you have a full-length mirror? I used to but it got transferred to my sister’s room. I don’t mind it though; I don’t use mirrors all that much. When was the last time you bought stamps? Elementary school, probably. Do you have any overdue library books right now? HAH, yes I do actually. It was a book I needed to do a Powerpoint on, and I completely forgot that its due date was on the 4th. The fee is like ₱2/day so I’ll have to pay around ₱8 to ₱10 by next week, depending on when I’ll feel like returning the book. How often do you do laundry? I don’t; my mom prefers to do it herself. Do you have a piggy bank? Maybe as a kid, but I never took it seriously because I didn’t sit well with the fact that I couldn’t see the money I’ve been saving. I’ve stuck with a good old wallet ever since, just so I can know my progress. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? I don’t, actually. I wonder what numbers I used to secure my locks :o What's your favorite DIY crafts youtube channel? Aren’t a lot of those misleading and downright fake? Could you spend hours on pinterest? I’ve never spent more than five minutes at one time on that website/app. Do you own plaid pants? Nah, it’s not really my style. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? I had to wear my school’s uniform for 14 straight years. All I ever wore Monday through Friday for that span of time. What was your high school's mascot? We don’t have a mascot; we just have school colors. What were your high school's team colors? Gold, white, blue. Who were your best friends in high school? Angela, Gabie, Athenna, and Sofie. Others I was close with were Chelsea, Kaira, and Fern. Who was your first boyfriend or girlfriend? Gab. Have you ever been to Chicago? Nope but it’s a dream. If yes, what do you like best about it? The FOOD, the culture, the museums. Have you ever stayed in a hostel? Nope, never been. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? Bottom. I wouldn’t like sleeping somewhere that felt unnatural, and lying down way high from the floor is definitely one of those things. Do you love camping? I’ve never tried, so I don’t know. Would you rather sleep in a tent or under the stars? Lie under the stars for as long as I can, then pass out in a tent. What insects are you afraid of? Cockroaches. Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I haven’t. Are you close with your cousins? I have a good relationship with most of my cousins, mom’s side; but I’m especially close with my eldest cousin, who I essentially view as my older brother. I’m so-so with cousins on my dad’s side - we were very close as kids, but they moved further to the south and I never really get to see them anymore, so we grew more shy as the years passed.  Are you close to any aunts or uncles? I love my mom’s cousins; they’re all younger than her and they’re mostly late Gen X-ers so they’re more hip and cool hahaha. I wouldn’t say we’re close but they are definitely much easier to talk to than other older relatives. Are you close to your grandparents? I seldom get to see my paternal grandparents because they live with the ^ same cousins I’ve since grown quite distant from, so I wouldn’t say I’m close to them but of course I love them all the same. I was very close with my maternal grandfather when he was still alive as I always knew what to do to make him laugh; and I am also crazy for my maternal grandmother, although in the last few years she’s been all about Jesus so sometimes it gets a little draining hearing about how I should always pray and that “God can answer all [my] problems.” Still love her loads, though. Who betrayed your trust? A friend did, many years ago. Who was your first best friend (apart from a sibling)? Bold of you to assume a sibling was my first best friend, because you’re wrong lol. I’d consider this girl we calle Kaye the first one; we were class number buddies in Kinder 1 (I was 4, she was 5) so we got close quickly. She changed schools by Grade 1 and I haven’t talked to her since, but I still remember her fondly. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? I was never allowed at sleepovers when I was a kid. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Sweet-flavored ones. I could never take dry-ass plain/salted popcorn. It has to be something like salted caramel or parmesan. Does your town have a big fountain in it? If we do have one, I’ve never seen it. But I’m pretty sure we don’t. What is your town known for? For being on a mountain and being ridiculously hard to get to because 1) of its winding, accident-prone roads, and 2) IT’S ON A MOUNTAIN. I live in the area of Antipolo just before you start to go up, so I don’t get offended much by the complaints of everyone else; but I’m in solidarity nonetheless with the ~mountain-dwellers~ just because I used to go to school in upper Antipolo. Do you currently live in the city you grew up in? I mostly grew up in Antipolo, so yes I still live here. I did live in Manila in my early childhood but that time was much shorter than the time I’ve spent in my current city. What's one way in which you're behind the times? I hate Minecraft and I hate Fortnite even more. What's one way in which you're still a child? I love coloring books :) What's one way in which you're old? I have a bad back. Do you feel old or young? Or do you feel both at different times? Definitely feel a bit of both, depending on my mood. The perfect example could be that I can be annoyed seeing younger kids make so much noise, but the next day I can be exactly like those kids making a bunch of noise with my friends. How old are you? I am 21. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? No, not yet. Quite early to think about at this point, really. If yes, what is it? A private dinner would already sound perfect. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? Vaping. I mean don’t try it if you haven’t already, but yeah. What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Tbh if my mom came home carrying a box of Yellow Cab pizza. AKA something that would NEVER happen; she snobs Yellow Cab cos she thinks they’re too expensive for pizza. Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? I get my revenge, subtly. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? Our subject Language, which was mandatory back in elementary school, was literally basic English grammar. Not everyone in my former school spoke fluent English so a lot of them weren’t all that good at the subject; but for people like me who had a solid grasp of English and read a lot to begin with, the class was basically a breather from the other more difficult classes. If so, what? ^ I already told ya all about it. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? Skipping grades isn’t a thing in my former school which is honestly a good thing for me cos it would have bred a lot of competition. But students would have to repeat a level if their grades showed that they had to; I wasn’t one of them. What time of day were you born? 9:11 in the evening. What is the best hairstyle you've ever had? I loved my layered hair like 10 years ago. It was probably the only time I did something to my hair that wasn’t just a trim, so I enjoyed that experience. I also liked cutting my hair way, way too short last year; it was a bold move but I liked how it look, as did everyone else. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? I’ve never tried dyeing my hair so I wouldn’t know. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Curly, I think. Do you have bangs? I have baby bangs but they’re just stubborn hair standing around my head lmao but no I don’t have actual bangs. Do you think you look better with bangs or without? I haven’t tried getting bangs as an adult. I did look cute with them as a toddler though :( Do you think you look better with long hair or short? Long. What's your favorite rock band? Paramore, if they still count. Who's your favorite country singer? None. Do you ever listen to Celtic music? No. Do you listen to Hillsong? No. Did you try the unicorn frappuccino, and if yes, were you a fan? No I never tried it. Have you ever won a contest? I won a school quiz bee and an essay writing contest before, but I wouldn’t call the latter legitimate. It was just a writing contest about wrestling held by a local TV station and the three best entries got to win WWE t-shirts haha. Have you ever wanted to be a model, actress, singer, or dancer? I wanted to be a model when I was like 12. No fucking clue what was going through my head at the time. When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? Sure. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Nope. Do you wear matching socks? Yes. How many drawers does your dresser have? Three. Do you own an American flag shirt? No thanks. Do you own a British flag shirt? I don’t. The Union Jack got overused by 2011 Tumblr, honestly. Do you have a seashell collection? I don’t. Aren’t we prohibited from getting those from beaches? That’s the case in the Philippines, anyway. Do you have a rock collection? I do not. Do you decorate for Halloween? We didn’t decorate the house but I celebrated it with friends this year. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Float around and relax. Flamingos or pineapples? ??? Flamingos, I guess? Cacti or seashells? Seashells. Maple tree or palm tree? Palm tree. Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? Dreamcatchers! Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? I probably have at few points. Do you have a crush right now? Yes. What color was your first car? My first and current car is white. Was your first car used or new? I’m actually not sure. It was my dad who purchased it. Do you have a car now? Yep. What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? I never wear any.

[rainey-staerie-daize]

In our household, there are two "game phones," AKA old hand-me-down phones with no service that are filled with mostly-offline games. "Game phones" and "game computers" are usually for the younger siblings of the house who aren't responsible enough for a full phone or laptop that's allowed to leave the house.

When I was 12, I shared a phone with Skye (a black Moto...?), but there are currently two because my mom switched phones a couple times in a row. One is an LG V35 ThinQ ("the purple game phone," because of the translucent purple case), and the other is some Motorola piece of shit ("the blue game phone").

I'm kinda kidding on the Moto being garbage, but at the same time, I'm not because I can't find anything on there. Nothing on there is Android's standard, and most of the apps are Google's version. Which is usually okay. Google is okay, but I want Android's file viewer and gallery.

Anyway, the blue Moto got lost for a while (these kids really don't deserve the shit they're given), so the littles shared the purple-cased LG. Turns are supposed to be 20 minutes, but with nobody keeping track half the time, they're usually not. Kare's turns are pretty close, because Xan will nag Mom every two minutes about how much time she has left. However, on the flip side, Xan will spend two hours in a single turn playing games, and will even ignore us sometimes when we tell him to hand it over or charge it. And then get pissy just because.

Blue phone got found like two weeks or so ago, but most of their favorite games are on the LG because of the frequent usage. So I decided to spend a few hours combing through shit on both phones last night and transfer one kid's games to the blue phone.

Can you guess who?

Hardware-wise, it made the most sense to me to let Kare have the LG, because purple is her favorite color and it would be easy to tell them apart knowing that. Also, Xan says he likes the power button on the side, which the Moto has.

Software-wise, they would be switched. The larger lockscreen text on the Moto would make it easier for Kare's younger eyes to read her name under the clock, and the Moto doesn't have emergency calling on its lockscreen (she's called the cops on Mom's phone at like, age two or something). Not to mention the LG has more available storage, and Xan seems to have more games. However, they're close in age, and after telling Kare I'll get rid of the new unicorn lockscreen if she presses the emergency button, I trust her not to. She's a big girl who can follow instructions now, and at times, is more mature than Xan. Also, with Xan's selfish long turns and constant tantrums over stupid shit, he doesn't deserve any luxuries in this regard.

So the nice, fancy, two-cameras-on-the-back (which my phone doesn't even have) LG is Kare's "game phone" and Xan gets the blue Motorola as his. He can suck it.

I told Skye about all this, and she thought it was great, but she almost told him he has the crap phone. I haven't transferred all the OBB data to his games yet because he wanted to play on it right away, so he was already kinda annoyed. I didn't need screaming.

They seem to enjoy their new wallpapers though. In fact, Kare was literally dancing in the hallway with joy. I asked them each what they wanted beforehand: "a unicorn first and then a fairy" and "the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with Splinter in front of a brick wall." For being such a brat who doesn't deserve to get his way as much as he does, he's highly specific.

"Dude, that's pretty specific. I could probably make that in Photoshop, but I don't have that right now. I'll see what I can find on the internet."

Kare got a rainbow unicorn lockscreen with Mariposa wallpaper and Xan got some cool-looking but simplistic TMNT fanart for both screens. Nice change from the galaxy and music notes mom had before (though I want the grogeous galaxy one for my own phone).

I even downloaded some music for Kare, since she said she likes the stuff I play from my Bluetooth speaker. Xan said he doesn't care for music, which is a-okay with me, because that phone doesn't have as much storage as Kare's and it's less work for me. So she has some Kelly Clarkson, Paramore, Twenty One Pilots, and Panic! at the Disco, plus the complementary LG tracks and some alarm Mom downloaded. Should probably go in and delete that.

To finish everything up, I'll need to use a large SD card to move Mom's pics off of the Moto and transfer the 3.5 gigabyte compressed app data folders from the LG. Not doing that right now, because I would have to find an SD card and I don't feel like it, but Xan has his favorites on there right now.

But even after telling him when he was getting impatient, "you can play on it this second if you don't mind starting the games over for right now," he was still surprised and upset when his progress wasn't there. He doesn't listen, which should be easy considering how many times I repeat myself (sometimes I wonder if I have Tourette's), and he throws tantrums when he doesn't get his way. So... I'm not rushing.

[alexgstories]

June 10th, 2017

It’s been nine days since classes ended and twelve days since we last talked and that was my fault. Yes, I threw a little bit of shade that day but I didn’t know what you were going through. I’ve barely started to type this and I’m already crying. In the past two weeks now, I’ve realized a few things. The first thing is that I might still get to go to my number one top pick for schools to transfer to. Second is that I don’t need all my shit together. Thirdly you don’t need your shit together, at least 100% like you’re probably thinking. Lastly is that I love you. And yes, you read that right. I love you and all your stupid little quirks that have wormed their way into my cold and ironically cynical heart.

 I understand where you’re coming from in terms of wanting to have yourself together before you started anything with me. That is if I even heard you correctly on that phone call where I’d admitted to you that I liked you. Assuming I heard you correctly in saying that you felt the same way, there’s two things I need you know right now.

 Under no circumstances, do you have to be 100% together at any time in your life. Don’t ever feel like you’re obligated to no matter what “real adults” say to you. Granted I’m not much seeing as how I’m younger than you but still. Depression fucking sucks, I know, I’ve been there and I’m still there and I probably will be for a while. And yes even the part where you’re questioning if you’re good enough at anything to get a living in any form, I get that part too despite that I know horses are where I belong. But I know how it feels to feel like you don’t belong to anything, and especially to a field where you want nothing more than to be in. I mean I’m pan in a traditional horse society where anything but a straight girl with a nice enough boyfriend isn’t really looked nicely on. And although that’s not even close to the point of what I’m trying to say, I get the feeling. I do, so much more than you give me credit for. I just want you to know that you don’t need your whole life figured out, lord knows I don’t.

 Now for that second thing. Talk about a bold statement am I right? Yeah, I know when I called you I said that I had liked you when truthfully, I think I was lying to both of us. I’ve only ever loved one person before you and it happened to be my first love, and unrequited at the same time. And the pain of that, isn’t nearly as bad as it is compared to what you’re doing to me now. I know that you’re not actually doing any of this to me it’s partially self-induced but it hurts like hell. While it took me a solid 3-6 months to get over Grisham, I don’t honestly know if I’ll ever be over you. At least not completely. If we don’t end up together then maybe we weren’t meant for anything but to be taught something. I have no fucking clue what that lesson could possibly be and I hope I’m wrong in that we aren’t meant to do something. Because I can tell you this right now, I will be damned if you think I’m letting you either get away because you don’t want to bother me with your “baggage” or for some other reason. I refuse to let what I feel go to wastes because of bad timing. Which the bad timing is all my fault, I will take 100% of the blame on that because I honestly should have said something at the end of freshman year.

 And I don’t want this to have been in vain I really don’t. Nina saw how much Grisham took out of me, and she’s seeing how much you’ve already taken and it’s so much more. She saw the damage Grisham had left behind even though it wasn’t his fault. But I can’t put all the blame on myself this time. While I know and understand getting your shit together is a more important and pressing matter than me, part of me still feels like you should have just shut me up before I said anything on that call.

 I’ve been talking about this whole thing with 3 different people and each with a slightly different opinion on the matter.

 Sarah.

Sarah thinks that I need to let you sort yourself out before you decide on anything.

 Lexie.

Bless her I love her but she thinks that once you’ve sorted everything, it’ll be all unicorns and rainbows for us and we can live “happy ever after” and all that shit.

 Then there’s Nina.

Nina thinks I need to just completely dump your ass and move on.

 Me?

I think all three of them are right in what they think. What I want though contrasts slightly with some of those views. I want you to get yourself together, for the most part, before you started anything serious. Is a gap year a good idea for you? Maybe but that’s not my call, all I know is I am definitely the one in need of a gap year. And maybe you take one too and manage to figure stuff out and maybe we end up together or something.

 Realistically though, it’s not likely to happen and that truly kills me inside. If you could actually see me right now you’d probably be pissed at me or yourself or whatever. It’s only been two weeks and not even that. Here I am typing away thinking if I should send this to you but to hell if you’d even read it much less acknowledge it like you are me. You want to know what you have done though?

 You’ve left me, crying in a goddamned pity party, sitting on me bed back home, eating fucking ice cream, trying to muster up the energy to get a job, and angry. You’ve left me alone and while I get why, I’m still angry. You left a girl, who loves you more than is good for her health, to rot. At least that’s what it feels like. You left a huge mess behind and I’m that mess and it is ugly as ugly can get. I’m talking red puffy eyes all the time, always thinking about you and trying not to cry when family is around because they’ll only yell at you for your pity party. A girl who doesn’t know what to do with her life really at all anymore because you took up a massive part of it. Who doesn’t have tissues on her at the moment as she types this while bawling and trying to not get tears and snot all over a new laptop.

 You left me alone to try and get over the fact that I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my life, and doesn’t want anyone else to love her as much as she loves you. This is what you left behind.

 And you know what Sarah and Nina are saying? That given everything, even the circumstances considered, you don’t deserve me; and part of me almost agrees. Almost. But the majority of me knows that you do deserve me, or maybe that’s just wishful thinking. Any time that I’d talk about you with Molly she’d always say I could do better. And she’s right, completely. But every time I told her something. I didn’t want better, I wanted you. And I still do, and probably always will no matter what happens.

 But it gets better.

 A few days ago, I was listening to The 1975 and happened to look up one of their videos. You know what I saw? I saw you, in the lead singer. In the video, he looked so much like you I actually cried on the spot, thank God though that I wasn’t in public. But now I haven’t been able to really listen to anyone else. I’m stuck in what is now, a self-induced pity party listening to the one band, who reminded me of you before I knew what the lead singer looked like. And I can’t get myself to listen to anyone else despite what it’s doing to me. It’s making this cycle worse. I go to bed mad at myself for being selfish like I was and I wake up partially mad at you but mostly at myself. I can’t seem to stop.

 Everyone so far, almost everyone, is telling me to get over you, like it’s as easy as taking pictures down. They seem to forget that I love you with more than everything I have in me. So not only is my first love unrequited, it seems that my second one, to which I only believe in two chances, is also unrequited. But if it isn’t it certainly feels like it. I’d tell you to show me that you cared about me, at least platonically, but that would mean you’d have to acknowledge me, which I don’t know if you ever will. And I wish that thought didn’t hurt. I wish this whole thing didn’t hurt but better yet I wish it’d never happened in the first place. Then I wouldn’t be here where I am right now.

 In love with a man, who seems to have no intentions of reciprocating or even having the balls to at least tell me and put me out of my misery. Because I can only do so much.

 And remember how earlier when I said it gets better? Buckle in boy because it’s about to become a fucking rollercoaster for you.

 You know how everyone, not just little girls I’m betting, sometimes pretend they have futures with their crushes? Well imagine someone as cynical and doubtful about love as me, actually seeing one.

 Crazy right? I thought so too, because how can someone as hot headed and personable as me, actually see a future with someone who actually might like them? It’s impossible. Because, and I’m not going to lie I’m going to be pretty insecure in this little section, someone like me doesn’t get happy endings. I’m currently 20 and have only had one night stands and that’s about as romantic as that field gets. and that disgusts me so fucking much. It makes me feel dirty and used and that wasn’t including the rape. But just wait there’s a background story.

 I kid you not when I say every guy that ended up dating my friends used me to get to them. Cliché? Yes, but that’s exactly what happened, and that kind of left a part of me that thinks clearly there’s something wrong with me. And while I know that it isn’t true, I’m starting to feel like that with you. I know, or at least I hope, there isn’t anything that’s too much of a turn off for you about me. But what do I know? I’m just a naïve girl who though I’d actually get a birthday text when I turned 20 three days ago. I was stupid enough to think you would actually tell me to have a happy birthday because I swear to you Gabe, nothing would’ve made me happier. And I had found out there is a real way to go to England for school. Just a simple text from you would’ve made that seem like it was normal everyday news.

 But I was stupid enough to think you actually cared enough about me. So here I am, sitting on me bed at home, trying not to cry on my new laptop, which I got for my birthday, writing and angry letter explaining me in this moment right now.

 I’ve not even reached the legal drinking age and I’ve already had my heart broken by people I love, twice. I can’t even buy a drink at a bar but I can find a way to truly love someone and have it ripped apart; and within 4 years of each other.

 So I’m going to say this one last time Gabe. I love you more than I could articulate and so much more than is for my own good and health. Lord knows not talking to you, correction, you not even acknowledging my existence, is killing me from the inside. Just ask anyone. Fucking ask Roman, Lexie, Molly, Nina, even Sarah.

 I’m sure they’ll all tell you that you broke me and you tore me to pieces and that you're as asshole for it. Because you did Gabe, you really did it for me this time and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love someone like I love you. Because out of this whole thing there’s a few things I do know.

 1)    I love you.

2)    I’m so angry with you, but mostly myself

3)    I’m not meant to have anyone

4)    You will always be the best love of my life

5)    And that no matter what you seem to do, I’m always going to forgive you. Always

 The last thing I want you to know is my favorite memory of you.

And it’s when we drove around in your car in Maryland. I had never been so at peace with myself and with life in everything but that moment. And when we went to that school and you showed me that hill with the best view, and I told you that if you took a girl there, you’d have her instantly? Well you had me. In that moment, I don’t think I could’ve been anyone else’s. That moment made me happier that I have ever been. And I stand by that a year later. Because that was just the two of us. Only us and it was magic to me.

**Note that I’m not changing names, simply because none of my friends know my Tumblr. But also this is all going unedited and I really just need to get this out there. 

[atticusblog2016-blog]

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New Post has been published on https://atticusblog.com/apple-could-release-macbook-updates-soon/

Apple could release MacBook updates soon

According to a new document from Bloomberg, Apple is set to launch up to date MacBook and MacBook Pro models. The corporation should announce the refresh at its WWDC keynote on June 5.

The 12-inch MacBook with a retina show hasn’t been updated in a year. The layout nevertheless works quite nicely so I wouldn’t count on whatever greater than a specification bump.

Maybe Apple goes to feature a second USB-C port. That would be satisfactory because it’s a bit irritating that you couldn’t rate your tool and plug something on the equal time without a dongle. The keyboard isn’t as precise as the one inside the most latest MacBook Pro both.

When it comes to the MacBook Pro with the new Touch Bar, it’s nonetheless quite new however Apple likes to replace its computer systems often with higher CPU options, more RAM, and garage.

In particular, the MacBook Pro overlooked the mark for Intel’s Kaby Lake processors. The laptops shipped with Skylake CPUs, but there’s no motive longer to replace the laptops with the new CPUs.

More sudden, Bloomberg is pronouncing that Apple is likewise considering updating the MacBook Air. Based on Apple’s personal press convention, the entry-degree thirteen-inch MacBook Pro without a touch bar is the perfect MacBook Air alternative.

It’s roughly as heavy as the thirteen-inch MacBook Air, however, it’s still more luxurious. That’s why the MacBook Air continues to be round in the intervening time. But Apple should even pass a step in addition and refresh the MacBook Air with better components. I wouldn’t keep my breath for this one.

WWDC is a developer conference, so Apple focuses mostly on software program information for its developer community. This 12 months must be no extraordinary. You can assume a few information around iOS 11, tvOS eleven, watchOS 4 and macOS 10.12.

At the equal time, builders use Macs each day, all day. So it’d make the experience to spend a minute speaking approximately minor Mac updates. Mac customers are also awaiting modern iMac and Mac Pro fashions. But those gadgets aren’t geared up just yet.

Apple Better Hurry Up On The Holographic Handset Or Have A Horrible And Horrendous Death

Here we are again looking forward to the following release of the Apple iPhone as we have 10-times before, this time we are on iPhone 8, and oldsters are questioning what incremental technology it might have engaging us to upgrade our maximum valued private tech tool. Well, the rumors have it that this subsequent model could have greater FRT or Facial Recognition Technology – allowing it to lock or free up your cell phone definitely by means of spotting your face – the ultimate security. Or, is it? Maybe this takes your personal privacy down a notch? Think on that for a minute.

Meanwhile, I’d want to deal with a more critical trouble, and this is it has been 10-years for the reason that first iPhone, consistent with Google Search: On January 9, 2007, Steve Jobs introduced the iPhone at the Macworld conference, receiving considerable media attention. Jobs introduced that the first iPhone would be launched later that year. On June 29, 2007, the primary iPhone turned into release.

Since then, all we’ve gotten have been incremental gains, smaller, sleeker, bigger, better, faster, more reminiscence, longer battery existence, and many others.? Of path, the adjustments within the starting have been more splendid than the ones of new years, I believe that is due to the fact Steve Jobs demanded it. So, permit me to ask; where is the Holographic iPhone – capable of the venture, and test and document 3-D gadgets? Steve could have delivered it with the aid of now, but Captain Tim Cook is no pirate like Jobs.

Perhaps to answer this question you would possibly need to study up on innovation philosophy and the history of Silicon Valley. Thus, I endorse studying “The Intel Trinity” with the aid of Michael S. Malone former reporter for the Mercury News in Silicon Valley. There is likewise a pleasant YouTube video lecture through Malone and numerous interviews.

Also, there has been an exciting article inside the Singularity Institute online information on February 14, 2017, titled; “Holograms Aren’t The Stuff of Science Fiction Anymore,” via Peter Rejcek which stated:

  How About A Voting App So You Could Vote On Your SmartPhone?

During this final 2016 Presidential Election we referred to a substantial turn-out, however even that changed into only fifty eight.6%, which become a hundred thirty-five.6 million people, however, recognize meaning forty-one.4% of our populace did now not vote. The general range of eligible citizens within the US in 2016 become 231,556,622. What passed off to everyone who didn’t vote? Don’t inform me they failed to care. Maybe we make it too tough, perhaps human beings didn’t want to routinely be signed up for jury obligation. Maybe citizens are apathetic for other reasons – but I ask what if it had been easier to vote, in particular within the presidential years?

We have been discussing this in our suppose tank and one individual referred to that the idea of a smart telephone balloting app, an idea which has been previously floated, wouldn’t just be extraordinary for Federal Elections;

“I think this app could be outstanding for government at the local level! So a good deal may be determined quickly after which applied quickly in a while. I additionally suppose that there could definitely be a window of opportunity to vote after the mass textual content turned into despatched out. I think kind of 48 hours would be proper, just to provide everyone time to do final minute research if important.”

Indeed, in considering this myself, nicely, I like the 48-hours to vote as soon as the app sends out the question as it’s not goodbye corporations can bathe the media with ads, or the media can enter the fray with unique programming, smart flow, just lengthy enough to do a bit of research, talk it over with buddies and family after which “vote your thoughts” – talking of which we sincerely are spoken approximately YOUR MIND, that is why these votes must be kept exclusive and those have to believe that, so no dishonest with the aid of NSA and so on, that records are simply now not transferable irrespective of what.

“Yes, most 13 12 months olds have a telephone, however, I do not assume they ought to vote simply yet. I assume as we become older we analyze more and more about ourselves and approximately how we think our country must be. At the age of 13 in the main each child is still under the political affairs with their mother and father so if we give them balloting rights than its almost like giving adults with youngsters a 2d vote. Thoughts on that?”

Oh on the thirteen 12 months antique aspect, nicely, I did not suggest they might in reality vote, extra so, permitting them to exercise vote and show their standard probabilities for all to see, then inside the destiny, they’ll have buy-in to the device, and hence, use it and vote inside the future. I agree their votes will maximum probable mirror that in their dad and mom for the most component.

Maybe we want a rethink about how we vote and perhaps the use of all this new generation may want to virtually help us all take part in OUR authorities. Think in this.

Almost Instant Updates You Can Make to Your Home Style

There are small things we will do to spruce and replace our dwelling spaces. Of route, we would all love to the infinite delivery of cash flow that the layout suggests providing. Most of these recommendations are cheaper and may add a lot persona in your area.

Stop Using Matching Throw Pillows

Commonly while shopping for a settee they come with matching throw pillows, but by including one-of-a-kind color or pattern accessory throw pillows you could replace a room right away. Adding that dash or formidable coloration or hanging patterns can help complement the neutral tones of the room.

Changing Light Fixtures

Instead of using a trendy striking mild fixture strive including an ornamental chandelier or lantern. By adding an easy exchange on your eating room can add a lot personality to the room.

Designate a Cozy Space

Today’s popular design is the open ground plans. Where ground designs are open and wait seamlessly. But, even though this is pleasant for the general fashion of the house try making an area in your property greater comfy.

Decorate Personal Spaces

Most folks spend the maximum of our power on decorating spaces that we show to other people. The guests for our parties or an unplanned go to that can take place at any time. Decorating those areas are critical however shall we no longer overlook places within the residence wherein we spend the maximum of our time. The bedroom, workplace, or lavatory. Take objects which you love and beautify your favorite

Creating a Collection

The first rule of including a group of items to a room is to remember that ordinary numbers go collectively better than even. Take a 2nd to find items in your room which are common in a few manner. For instance, you would possibly have a set of silver items that share a not unusual detail. By placing them together on a console or couch desk.

Painting Inside

If you’ve got a timber piece of older fixtures mendacity round which you want to spruce up try to portray the inside of the cupboard to add a touch of accessory color. Adding accessory shade can right away enliven a space.

[canaryatlaw]

alright, so today was pretty good. I didn’t have any specific thing to get up for in the morning so I slept till like 1ish like I have been lately. After waking up I spent a while with my laptop in bed trying to figure out technical issues regarding converting the podcast recording file into an mp3 which was very easy for the main file, but the two minute one I had to record just with the plugs was being very difficult, so it required a Skype call and downloading some different software, and ultimately having me re-record it in a way that we could get it transferred to an mp3. The issue was the main file was recorded on the call recorder Skype software I have, but at the end my co-host’s wifi dropped out, ending the call and the recording, so I had to record the ending separately in a different program that was now being very difficult. so that took a while to figure out but ultimately we figured it out and the episode should be getting put out in the next few days, so that’s exciting. from there I moved to the couch and didn’t really feel like watching tv so I just listened to some podcasts I needed to get through so I don’t get too backed up while taking care of some stuff on my computer. Around 5 I got changed into actual clothes and got ready, then took the 5:30 bus down to the school Jess works at where i was meeting her when she got off at 6. that went smoothly, in the past the bus has been running late but it worked out pretty well this time. so I met up with her at her car and we sat for a few minutes because she had to make a phone call, then we headed out. The agenda was to drive up to the car dealership we had been at this weekend and got her car from to give them the second key for her old car that we didn’t have on us this weekend (because we weren’t planning on getting into a new car, so we weren’t prepared). So we made the drive up to where the dealership was (northern suburbs) and gave them the key, then from there we drove to the mall located nearby that we hit up on Saturday for their fancy movie theatre in order to hit up their cheesecake factory, since that’s one of our favorites and we didn’t get to go on Saturday. We got seated in a few minutes, ordered our usual pastas, then Jess fought anons for a while during which she read them out loud and I mostly laughed and made witty comments, so that was fun. We didn’t finish the pasta so we’d have some room for cheesecake, we both got about halfway through our cheesecake before taking the rest back with us (or I did at least, I think Jess just gave up) and from there headed home. When I got back to my apartment I just chilled on my computer in my room for a bit before getting in the shower and getting ready for bed, and now I am here. Plan for tomorrow is to go to the dentist because I haven’t been in like a year which is bad because like many other parts of my body, my teeth hate me and love to cause problems 🙄 so let’s hope everything goes smoothly there. Otherwise I’m gonna be packing for London (I’m still so freaked/amped that we’re going to London in 2 days!!!) and possibly doing a load of laundry, I need at least two pairs of like leggings or sweatpants without any metal in them for the plane ride there and back (because the airport scanning machines also hate me). So we’ll see how that goes, I have all my cosplay stuff laid out already so it shouldn’t be too difficult. And yeah, that’s it for now, it’s a bit past 1 am and I gotta get up at like 11 (not bad, I know, but still earlier than like 1 and we know how I like my sleep) so I should be getting to bed now. Goodnight dears. Sleep well.