#mostly because i don't have my notes with me right now lol

[emometalhead]

.

[boy-above]

i decided im gonna try to cut back on soda bc usually i drink two or three cans a day and that's too much, esp since i'm gaining weight and i have a very bad relationship with my weight so if i can stop that it would be beneficial for my brain health lol. i want to cut down to one can of soda a day, so i went out and got some flavored water instead also sparkling flavored water for when i want fizz. hopefully i can do it, i set it as one of my goals with my therapist so if i can do it i'll feel like such a big boy. so if you see me making posts like "i only had one can today!" i am congratulating myself.

[eteledhasanaxe]

so help me I will go into the screen myself

someone hug him

[realest-nilou-kinnie]

i hope jade leech knows that every second i spend building terrariums im thinking of him

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Hey. Hi. Hello. Today I learned about the existence of 15th century Welsh poet Gwerful Mechain and that she apparently has a surviving work of erotic poems.

Please. For Christmas. For Yule. Please tell me more because I can't read Welsh.

Heh heh. Oh, Gwerful Mechain is the absolute best.

(Quick housekeeping to keep the post manageable - I previously wrote about things like cynghanedd and cywydds and englyns and such here, so check that if you need an explanation.)

What's fun is that we don't know a ton about her, because not a lot got written down about people in her time. Her surviving work covers a 40ish year span at the end of the 1400s to just into the 1500s, but we don't know when she was born or died or anything like that. We know her parents' names? And that she was from Mechain, hence the bardic name. And that she married a guy and had a daughter, something which actually does mark out her body of work as different from her contemporaries; being a wife and mother, she couldn't do the usual bardic role of travelling the country to spread news and play at courts. This means she doesn't have any of the praise poetry that a lot of male bards produced about the lords that hosted them.

But, there's stuff we can piece together about her. For one thing, she was not just literate (not a universal skill for anyone at that point, but especially for women), but she was astonishingly well-read and had what appears to be a classical education, given her poetic references and traditional Welsh meters. For another, her work often had recurring themes of religion, sex, and women's rights, sometimes all at the same time.

At the point Gwerful was active, Welsh bardic culture heavily featured ymrysonau. An ymryson is like... well, I hesitate to say "sort of like a rap battle" after the way everyone and their dog now thinks that's what the Mari Lwyd does, but they were like a cross between a rap battle and the publication war between two rival academics. A bard would write an englyn and publish it in the local parish newsletter. Another bard would see this, and write their own englyn about how stupid the first bard's englyn was, and publish it in the same newsletter. The first bard would see this and retaliate. The second bard would retaliate to that. And on and on it would go, like a printed tennis match for all the parishioners to enjoy, until someone wrote a conclusive verse OR until someone went "Lol, you got me good there" and bowed out with dignity. Sometimes, these things were fucking vicious; but other times, they were just banter between two bards who knew each other and were enjoying the chance to keep their poetic skills in tip top condition.

Now, Gwerful was an active and enthusiastic participant in ymrysonau. We have many examples of her work from these. There are two of particular note that I'll list here, each against a different bard:

Dafydd Llwyd o Fathafarn. Mathafarn and Mechain are not so distant from one another, so no real surprise that these two locked horns a lot, but the impression I always got from their ymrysonau is that they were good mates, actually. These fell into the 'banter' category more often than not. Dafydd was a Welsh Nationalist who was hoping for a Welshman to rise up and throw off the yoke of English oppression, and most of his work is about that, but he turned up the filthy erotic shit for any ymryson with Gwerful because BOY HOWDY was that her specialty. IIRC she did occasionally poke fun at his Welsh Nash leanings, especially his obsession with Mab Darogan (OLD Welsh idea that translates to the Son of Prophesy - the Arthur-style figure that will one day drive out the English overlords), but mostly their ymrysonau were incredibly beautifully-written odes that could be summed up as "Dafydd, my man, my good friend, I mean this sincerely: suck my entire clit".

She often won.

Ieuan Dyfi. God, what a fucking asshole. This one was not banter. Gwerful played for blood with this prick.

We actually would know nothing about Ieuan Dyfi if not for Gwerful Mechain, because it was her poetic response to him that meant his only surviving poems made it to the modern day; that, and the record of him being brought before a church court where he admitted adultery with Anni Goch, a married woman. Oh, and the record of him being brought before the law courts at Liverpool, accused of domestic abuse and gambling? If I remember right?

Two things to know that set the scene for what came next:

One of Gwerful Mechain's surviving poems is an englyn considered to be possibly the oldest extant poem about domestic violence written by a woman: I’w gŵr am ei churo (To the husband who beats her)

Dager drwy goler dy galon - ar osgo I asgwrn dy ddwyfron; Dy lin a dyr, dy law’n don, A’th gleddau i’th goluddion.

There are a lot of translations for this one to try to keep its poeticness, but this one is pretty good:

Through your heart’s lining let there be pressed, slanting down, A dagger to the bone in your chest. Your knee smashed, your hand crushed, may the rest Be gutted by the sword you possessed.

She has others, too, that deal with sexual assault, and something scholars often note about Gwerful is her remarkable knowledge of the law as it pertained to women's issues. So she was not, you see, a woman with a high view of a man accused of domestic violence anyway.

But then Ieuan Dyfi wrote five poems about Anni Goch, the married woman he'd fucked, each more "Wow dude, she said no" than the last, culminating in I Anni Goch; a full cywydd of misogynistic Medieval-incel bullshit about how false and evil women are, which listed all the false and evil women of history including classical and mythological figures.

And. Well. Gwerful had some views.

Her responding cywydd - I ateb Ieuan Dyfi am gywydd Anni Goch - basically blasted the guy back into his own impact crater and disintegrated him. What she did with it, essentially, was to mirror his cywydd. Where he'd gone "Isn't it so true how great men throughout history have always been brought low by women, amirite lads? Here's examples", Gwerful went "Isn't it so true how 'great men' throughout history have behaved appallingly and fucked up through their own actions and then somehow managed to blame women, amirite lads? Here's examples." Where his examples had been historical figures, so were hers. Where his had been classical, so were hers. Where he went Biblical, so did she.

And what's so interesting about that last one is how pointed she was with it - for some reason, in his big list of evil women, Ieuan Dyfi did not go for the most obvious and low-hanging of fruit (no pun intended) - he doesn't cite Eve. In response, Gwerful also sidesteps the most obvious and low hanging of fruit - she doesn't cite Mary. In so doing, she makes it clear that she doesn't even need to.

There is no record of him responding to her. IIRC, there is a record of him doing three years in prison.

But! Outside of all of that, the big thing Gwerful was known for was her erotic poetry. You'll be unsurprised to hear that it wasn't written for shits and giggles - much like today, women of the time were told that most of their value was in their looks, and they had plentiful insecurities about their bodies. Gwerful wrote her erotic stuff to confront those insecurities and shine a light on the issue. There are so many examples of this, but far and away the most famous is definitely Cywydd y Cedor - roughly translated, 'Ode to the Vulva'. Though I have also seen it titled Cywydd y Gont - Ode to the Cunt. It's such a shame that the English language is literally, physically not capable of cynghanedd, because it means unless you learn Welsh you will never understand the beauty and the lyricism of the piece, and how it elevates and undercuts the content at the same time; but it's a joyful, masterful, irreverent work that uses the fancy language male poets were forever dedicating to the rest of a woman's body and applies it squarely to the vulva. In fact it basically opens with "Men are cowards, describe more cunts or gtfo" before launching into its main subject matter. The last line is pro-pubic hair, too, like I really must stress how much Gwerful Mechain would have to offer Tumblr if you could speak Welsh. This is probably her most widely translated piece, though, you can definitely find English versions. Although you can tell how blushing and reticent the translator is - and therefore how sanitised their translation is - by whether they've called it Ode to the Vulva/Cunt, or Ode to the Pubic Hair.

Needless to say, the original is not sanitised.

(Actually, I should also say - this one is also a response piece, probably, but in this case to a bard who lived a century earlier - Dafydd ap Gwilym, the absolutely legendary and uncontested king of Welsh romance poetry. He wrote a poem called Cywydd y Gal - Ode to the Penis. I have only just put two and two together on that.)

As a final note, I should say that my personal favourite Gwerful Mechain poem on this subject, mind, is actually I'w morwyn wrth gachu - to the maiden who is shitting. It's an englyn written in Gwerful's customary high poetic form, but it is what it says - it describes a woman taking a shit, and farting as she does. Beautiful and magical and disgusting and banal, all in one go:

Crwciodd lle dihangodd ei dŵr - ’n grychiast O grochan ei llawdwr; Ei deudwll oedd yn dadwr’, Baw a ddaeth, a bwa o ddŵr

Funnily enough, it's hard to find a good translation for this one lol.

My attempt:

She crouched where her water escaped - creased From the cauldron of her heat; Her two holes were arguing, Shit came, and a bow of water

Eh. It's so bland in English. Honestly, if you could read Welsh...

Anyway, if anyone reading this can read Welsh and wants to read some of Gwerful Mechain's stuff - including some of the pieces she was responding to in the ymrysonau - you can find a load here. Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed!

[teaboot]

Do you think that cis men feel the same way as trans men do? Like with how men get treated by society as being inherently evil and as predators?

I think maybe both cis and trans men experience these issues but it's easier for a trans guy to point it out because he gets to see people so quickly turn on him for being a man while transitioning

oh yeah definitely

I find "meninists" fucking obnoxious, especially as any of their VALID concerns fall under the bracket of feminism, but there does exist a presence of radfems and terfs that are scarily eager to lash out at anything resembling masculine that. Definitely needs to be addressed somehow

Like. There's a mile of middle ground between "Um yeah women have problems, whatever, but what about ME and MY FEELINGS 😢" and "I am genuinely trying my best to be thoughtful and considerate of others, and everything I do is being met with bad-faith interpretations and dismissal"

And I think the best advice I have for anyone else getting bogged down by this is that. like.

If someone is determined to see the worst in you, nothing you can do to prove otherwise will be enough. You will never change that person's mind. They don't want you to change their mind. So like... just focus on you, and keep doing your best, and learn, and know that people determined to find something nasty don't really have an issue with YOU- they have their own experiences and traumas coloring their worldview.

Someone who is determined to see you as a monster will only ever see a monster. So it's better to ask yourself, "would a monster do what I'm doing?". If the answer is yes, take steps to change that. If the answer is no, then it's not about you, and you can give yourself permission to move on.

So... yeah, I imagine cis men probably do feel the way I feel about this sorta thing sometimes.

Except, like. After a lifetime being a girl, living as a girl, fighting for equality as the only girl in a lot of men's spaces, being a feminist girl and an Eldest Daughter girl and calling out the bullshit only to later realize I'm not a girl... and that Im actually mostly a dude, still a feminist... at least when people call me a mysoginist, I know they're talking out their ass

I can kinda see where young men encounter their very first radfems calling themselves feminists and immediately become radicalized right-wing conservatives cause like. If I as a teen thought feminism meant Radfems and Terfs, I'd probably start running too

It's all just so exhausting

Any one group being wholesale grouped as "100% helpless gentle victim" or "100% selfish malevolent monster" is doomed, imo

(Now watch the notes blow up with "this is just 'not all men' rhetoric, lol)

But anyways I hate nuance I hate interpretation I hate implication and symbolism and context and I wish everything in the world was simpler so we could all blow a collective joint together and invent some new soups

[withwritersblock]

That's So True

~That's So True by Gracie Abrams~

Author's Note: requested! this was fun to write. do I know what i wrote exactly, no I don't lol. Also another late post lol italics are flashback as always Summary: Luke ends his fwb with Y/N Warnings: implied smut Word Count: 8,980 Luke Hughes x fm!reader Part two

She sat on the couch beside Mark, her childhood best friend. They went to UMich together on full athletic scholarships. He went for hockey and she went for volleyball. It wasn’t often that her friends and his friends got together. 

Many people assumed they were dating since they were always together but they were practically raised as siblings. There was a few years where they actually lived together because of her parents financial problems. So they would always brush off the dating rumors. 

Especially since they used to argue constantly exactly like siblings. Right now, they weren’t arguing but silently having a conversation. 

She kept watching Luke and the new girl make eyes towards one another from across the room. She was sure that the new girl was trying to get with Luke with the eyes that she was sending over to him. But Luke was probably trying to figure out what her intentions were. 

Luke was laying on the beanbag, scrolling through his phone as he mostly kept to himself. The new girl, she didn’t even know her name, was sitting beside Kaleigh. Y/N assumed the two were friends but the lack of conversation between them felt odd. 

Mark delicately tapped his hand against her arm forcing her gaze towards him. He gestured if she wanted a drink. Nodding, she stood up and they walked towards the kitchen together. Mark shifted his gaze towards Luke, rolling his eyes as he followed Y/N.

They stepped into the kitchen alone. She walked towards the fridge to take out another drink. 

“Are you alright?” he asked as he leaned against the counter.

“I’m fine,” she mumbled as she popped open the Truly can.

“Right, because we haven’t been sending daggers towards Luke since you stepped into the house,” he said half jokingly.

“I have not,” she mumbled before taking a long sip. Mark raised his eyebrows as he met her gaze. She clenched her jaw as she held the can below her. “Okay, maybe a little bit,”

“I know he’s my teammate and roommate but you’re you so if you say we hate him, then we hate him,” he explained as he walked towards her. She nodded as she stared towards the floor. Pressing her lips together, she nodded again. 

Lifting her gaze up, she began to blink rapidly to prevent the tears falling onto her cheek. “We hate him,” she let out barely above a whisper. Without hesitation he wrapped his arms around her, submerging her into a tight embrace.

“Then fuck him,” he whispered.

She sat on the couch beside Mark in his new house that he shared with five of his teammates. She’s known them for as long as Mark has. Because of how close she was with Mark she found herself always around.

Tonight was obviously no different. The house was getting crowded as more people were piling in for the party they were having. Mark was talking to a blond girl sitting in front of them. Her gaze kept switching towards Luke.

For the last few weeks they have been texting more and more. Mark knew that she had a crush on him, but he swore he wouldn’t say anything. So either he felt the same way, or she was obvious with her feelings.

He was typing on his phone, a smirk toying to his lips. After a few more moments she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Glancing towards Luke, she met his gaze and she watched his cheeks pink. She pulled her phone out to see a text from him. “Meet me at my room in five,”

Lifting her gaze, she met his eye, he smirked as he slowly stood up from the beanbag. He smirked as he walked past her and Mark. A shaking breath left her lips as she brought her knees towards her chest. 

Mark glanced towards Luke as he walked past him before he looked towards Y/N. He fought the grin forming to his lips before he looked back towards the blond girl in front of him.

Y/N brought her Truly towards her lips and chugged the rest of her drink before delicately placing it onto the floor. “I’m gonna get another drink,” she said. 

“Uh huh,” Mark let out while laughing. She smirked as she rolled her eyes playfully. 

She wasn’t entirely lying, she walked towards the kitchen to get another drink before she slipped into Luke’s room.

She took another Truly from the fridge before she urgently walked towards Luke’s room. Her heart was beating out of her chest as she tried to add some liquid courage to her body. 

Delicately, she raised her hand up and knocked onto his door. It didn’t take long for him to open the door and allow her to step inside. He shut it, twisting the lock in the process.

She stood in front of the door, awkwardly holding her drink as she scanned his room. His bed was made and his room was nearly spotless, it was slightly shocking. He took a small step back towards his bed as he took a deep breath.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” he asked as he pointed to his bed awkwardly. She smirked as she nodded. “Ethan invited like every person on campus, so the house is gonna get really crowded,” he explained as he sat down on the bed, looking up towards her.

Stepping towards him, she brought her drink towards her mouth; taking a long sip. After a few seconds, Y/N placed her drink on his nightstand before she sat beside him on the bed. Bumping her thigh against his, forcing his gaze towards her. He nodded as he scanned her features.

“What do you wanna watch?” he asked softly. Her gaze drifted towards his lips for a moment before she took a deep breath.

“Any recommendations?” she asked softly. His lips curled upward slightly as he nodded. 

He stood up from the bed, taking a hold of the TV remote on the nightstand as he walked towards the light switch. He turned the light off as he turned on Netflix. She slowly leaned against the headboard, pulling her knees up to her chest. Luke walked around the bed and laid beside her, adjusting the pillow beneath his head. 

She looked down towards him as he met her gaze. A toothy grin formed to his lips as he looked towards the screen. 

Luke put on a movie that both of them have seen hundreds of times. The movie had only been on for a few minutes when Luke turned onto his side to meet her gaze. 

“Hi,” he mumbled. Looking down towards him, she smiled softly.

“Hi,” she replied as she looked into his blue eyes. He waved his finger asking her to lay down. “What?” she asked, a soft chuckle leaving her lips.

“Come ‘ere so I can kiss you,” he let out barely above a whisper. Her eyes widened slightly as another grin formed to her lips. 

“Oh really?” she asked softly as she slowly laying completely down on her side. Luke nodded as he took a hold of her thigh, pulling her closer to him. Their lips were only a mere inch apart. He hummed before he rubbed his thumb against her bare thigh. Her breathing started to quicken as she looked deeply into his blue eyes.

“Then what are you waiting for?” she asked barely above a whisper. He smirked before he leaned towards her, devouring her lips. A moan left her lips, as her fingers ran through his hair. Slowly, he raised his hand up from her thigh, trailing his hand up her body.

Slowly, she climbed onto his lap with their lips still connected. His hands glided up and down her thighs. She took a hold of his shirt and started unbuttoning it. He began to sit up, pulling the shirt away from his frame. He laid back down, her lips started trailing down his neck. 

She began to bite and suck the skin, swirling her tongue to sooth the skin. He swallowed hard as his hands started hiking the dress up her frame, wanting it off of her body. 

Her lips trailed back up, meeting his lips urgently. Grinding against his lap, his breathing caught in his throat. “Fuck,” he mumbled against her lips. She smirked as she slowly pulled away from him. 

Luke began to lean towards her, desperate for her lips again. Smirking, she climbed off of his lap. He reached towards her but she slipped off of the bed. “Hey,” he let out, breathing heavily. 

Standing beside the bed, she took a hold of the dress and started pushing it off of her frame. He smirked as he watched her slowly reveal her body. He dragged his tongue along his bottom lip as she stood in front of him.

Mark waited until she pulled away from the embrace, not wanting to rush her. He hated seeing her sad, but he was always going to be the one to hold her and make her feel better. It took another minute before she slowly slipped away from his body. She kept her gaze on his chest as she fought the tears forming to her eyes. 

After a long few seconds she lifted her gaze and met his eye, “I’m gonna go home,” she mumbled. His eyes widened as he stepped towards her, taking a hold of her arm.

“Because of him?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows. She shrugged as Kaleigh walked into the kitchen. Stopping short, she crossed her arms over her chest shyly. “Hey, what’s up Kale?” Mark shifted his gaze towards her. Y/N wiped her hands across her cheeks. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she mumbled.

“You didn’t-” both Mark and Y/N said at the same time. She shifted her gaze from Mark at first and then towards Y/N. 

“I’m gonna head home,” she muttered as she delicately placed her drink onto the counter.

“Y/N,” Mark let out softly.

“I’m going home,” she said more sternly as she started walking out of the kitchen and out of the house. 

She stepped into the living room to see the new girl sitting in Luke’s lap as the group was laughing loudly. Luke lifted his gaze and met her eye. His smile faltered slightly as their eyes were connected. She stood still, watching her run her hand across his jaw to force his gaze towards her. Luke looked back towards the new girl, smiling widely again. 

He quickly looked back towards Y/N, nearly rubbing it into her face. Swallowing hard, she continued to look into his blue eyes. Her eyes squinted slightly as she watched him, run his hand up and down the side of her thigh. 

A huff fell from her lips as she continued to walk out of the house. She stepped onto the porch, a dry angry laugh left her throat as she turned her gaze towards the sky. Her eyes continued to tear up. 

Her house she shared with a few of her sorority sisters was only a few streets over. It was normal for her to walk from the house to Mark’s house. It was quiet as it was quite late at night. She started down the street like she always did. Usually, Mark or Luke would walk her back to her house.

“Hey, hey, hey-” Mark shouted as he followed her out of the house. She spun around to meet his gaze. She took a deep breath as he walked towards her; somewhat breathless.

Luke was on top of her, both of his hands on either side of her as he was kissing her urgently. Her hands were gliding along his cheeks and into his hair. He slowly pulled his lips away from hers as he started trailing wet kisses along her neck down towards her exposed collarbone.

“Fuck,” she whispered as she tilted her head back. He smiled as he tugged at the fabric of her tanktop. 

Her hands glided along his upper back, pulling his hoodie up his back. He sat back, smiling down towards her before he pulled his hoodie from his frame. He tossed it towards the floor before he climbed on top of her again, devouring her lips. 

After a few seconds, there was a loud knock against his unlocked door. Luke pulled away from her, laying beside her. He pulled the blanket beside them and tossed it over their frame as the door was pushed open.

“She’s my friend Hughesy, every time she comes over she ends up in here. Not fair. Let’s go Y/N,” Mark stood at the door, motioning her to leave the room. She glanced towards Luke, an apologetic smile on her face.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” Luke let out while chuckling. 

“Very fucking serious right now,” he let out with a dry chuckle, “My friend who I haven’t seen in weeks because she’s been fucking you every day. I deserve to see my best friend,” Mark explained very dramatically. Luke covered his face with his hands while laughing.

“Mark, seriously?” she said while laughing.

“You promised me when you two started hooking up that I would still see you. So come on,” he pointed towards the door again. Y/N shifted her gaze towards Luke. He rolled his eyes while fighting off a grin.  She slowly slipped off of the bed, adjusting the tanktop on her body. 

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” she teased as she walked out of the room. 

“Such a cock block,” Luke let out. 

Mark barked out a laugh. “You and your dick will survive one night,” Mark teased as he shut the door. She stood behind him, crossing her arms over her chest. “You and your-” Mark started before she shoved him. “Fine-alright, come on,” Mark said with a wide grin.

They walked down the hall towards his room and he pushed the door open. Y/N jumped onto his bed to take a hold of the Switch controller. Mark jumped and laid beside her taking a hold of the other one.

“So what’s the actual deal with you two?” Mark asked as he loaded up Mario Party. She fought the grin forming to her lips, her body heated up. She pressed her lips together, feeling Luke’s lips still on hers.

“We’re just-I don’t know,” she mumbled as she waited for the game to load. 

“So there’s nothing else going on?”

“Nope,”

“Just sex?”

“Just sex,” she repeated as she began to pick her character to play. He hummed as he took in a sharp breath.

“What are you doing?” he asked her as he ran his fingers through his hair. She took in a shaky breath as she tilted her head back. Another laugh fell from her lips as a tear fell onto her cheek. 

An image of Luke with the girl in his lap flashed in her mind as she clenched her jaw. Her entire body was shivering as she looked into Mark’s eyes. He was desperate to try and comfort her but there was nothing. 

She’s been heart broken before. Y/N had a few break ups back in high school, Mark was always there to take care of her. He’s even punched a few of her ex-boyfriends for the way that they treated her. She’s always come first.

“I can’t sit in there and watch that,” she forced out. Her lips quivered as she crossed her arms over her chest. Her arms were cold as the wind was starting to hit her skin.

Mark’s mouth fell open as he tried to find something to say to comfort her. She shook her head as she pressed her lips together. Mark stepped towards her again, watching her step back further. “I can’t be here!” she let out again, a sob falling from her lips. “He’s rubbing it in my face! He’s sitting there acting like we weren’t-” she trailed off as she wiped her hands across her cheeks. 

“I’m so sorry-” Mark said softly. 

“We spent-” she trailed off again while shaking her head once more. “I’m so stupid,”

“What?” Mark let out barely above a whisper.

He walked into her sorority house, smiling towards the girl that let him inside. He always forgot her name since he wasn’t at her house that often. She jogged down the stairs smiling towards him. He smiled widely as he held out his arms for her. Without hesitation she practically leaped into his arms. He chuckled while he held her tightly to his chest.

“Come on,” she whispered as she slowly slipped away from him. Luke didn’t hesitate as he followed her towards the steps. She jogged ahead, hoping he followed after her.

Turning the corner, she stepped into her room; spinning around to face him. He stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. Twisting the lock, he stepped towards her; a teasing grin on his lips.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she let out as she looked deeply into his blue eyes. He smirked as he took a hold of her waist, spinning her to pin her against the door. 

“Now, we can’t be interrupted by your bestie,” he whispered dryly. She chuckled as she rested her hands onto his chest.  He raised his hand up, taking a hold of her cheek. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered before he pulled her towards him, kissing her urgently. Slowly, she tugged at his shirt; wanting it off of his body.

He pulled away from her, smiling as he tilting his head to the side. A smirk toyed to his lips as he stepped away from her. “Hey, where are you going?” she asked a small pout on her lips. He pursed his lips forward as he fought a grin forming to his lips. 

She tried to take a step towards him but he reached towards her instead. He took a hold of her waist tossing her over his shoulder. A loud giggle fell from her lips as she stablized herself against his back. Cautiously, he tossed her down onto the bed. 

He instantly climbed on top of her. A giggle fell from her lips as she grinned widely. Delicately, he pressed his lips against hers for a moment before he collapsed beside her, staring towards the ceiling. Rolling onto her side, she faced him. 

He lifted his arm up, allowing her to rest her head onto his chest. Luke ran his fingers through her hair before pressing his lips against the top of her head. Her heart fluttered against her chest as she shut her eyes for a moment. 

“You know,” she started, swallowing hard, “The girls are hosting this event thing where we’re supposed to bring a plus one,” she explained. He hummed. “We’re supposed to let Lydia know who we’re bringing with us,” 

“Aren’t those things reserved for boyfriends?” he asked as he glided his hand up and down her back. 

Scrunching her features together for a moment before she took a deep breath, “I’ve taken Mark to one before. I just thought that maybe since it’s supposed to be a date thing that- you could come along,” she let out barely above a whisper. He pressed his lips against the top of her head again.

“Maybe the next one,” he let out before he took a hold of her chin. He forced her gaze to meet his eye. Subconciously, her lips fell into a pout. He glided his thumb across her bottom lip, “Baby,” he let out softly almost as if it was an apology.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. He leaned towards her, pressing his lips against hers softly. She glided her hands through his curls as he continued to kiss her deeply.

She sniffled as she shook her head, “I need to go home,” she mumbled again as she started walking down the sidewalk. Mark didn’t argue it this time as began to follow her. Slowly, she spun around to meet Mark’s gaze. “Mark.”

“It’s late, let me walk you back,” Mark offered as he started walking beside her. She didn’t argue it as she continued to walk. 

They stayed quiet for a moment as the wind was picking up. She brushed a few pieces of hair away from her face as she kept her gaze on her feet. Making sure to avoid every crack, a childhood habit that she continues to this day. 

“You’re not stupid,” Mark said as he shoved his hands into his pockets. Y/N didn’t stop walking, she kept her gaze onto the concrete below her. Her steps skipping over each crack between the concrete slabs. “You fell for him. That doesn’t make you stupid,” He further explained.

She didn’t reply but he knew that she took what he said to heart.

“You don’t need a guy like him anyway,” he mumbled. She hummed as they turned the corner towards her house. “I’ll hate him as long as you need me to hate him,” he expressed. She chuckled as she rolled her eyes playfully. 

“You can’t hate him, he’s one of your best friends,” she countered.

“Yeah but he hurt my best friend, so we hate him,” he let out, a teasing grin on his face. “But I still gotta play and live with him so I can’t always hate him,” 

After a few seconds, they finally stepped up the porch to her house. They stood outside the door, and her gaze was still staring towards the ground beneath her. Finally lifting her gaze, she looked into his eyes and nodded slightly.

Leaning towards her, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her towards his chest. She wrapped her arms around the center of his back as a shaky breath left her lips. 

For the longest time, she hated hugs. Something about the contact was always so intimate and awkward. It was rare if she ever hugged family let alone Mark. But as her first year at college progressed, needing a hug was all that she ever really needed. 

Anyone’s embraced made her feel better, but right now she wished it was Luke instead of Mark hugging her the way he was.

“Thanks,” she mumbled before she slipped away from him. Keeping her head low, she pushed the door open and stepped into the house. Shutting the door behind her, she continued walking towards the stairs. 

“Hey, who just dropped you off?” Lydia asked as she emerged from the kitchen with her boyfriend, Darren. His arms were around Lydia’s waist as she guided him into the entryway. 

Y/N took in a sharp breath, “Mark,” she let out before she started to walk up the steps again. Lydia slowly pulled away from Darren as she tried to decide if she should follow her up the steps. 

“Normally you don’t come home until the morning if your at their house,” she explained, slightly confused. Y/N paused for a second as she met Lydia’s gaze. 

“Luke and I aren’t-” she waved her hand slightly, “-Anymore. It was awkward so Mark brought me home. I mean is that okay?” she asked, feeling herself get teary eyed in the process.

“Oh yeah, definitely. Just strange. I’m sorry about Luke. You guys seemed great together.” she explained as she shifted her attention towards Darren.

“Good night guys,” she mumbled as she jogged up the remaining steps towards her room.

~~~

His head was rested in between her legs as they were watching a TV show together. She was also doing homework, which is why he wasn’t laying with her and more or less laying on her. 

His hands were gliding up and down the inside and outside of her thighs. There was no consistent pattern in his movements, it was whatever he was deciding to do in that second. His motions were also intended to distract her, pull her attention towards him. 

“Hey,” he mumbled as he pressed his lips against her inner thigh. A hum fell from her lips as she continued to type on her computer. “Are you almost done?” he whined out before he pressed his lips against her skin again, this time longer. Tilting his head back, hoping to meet her gaze instead was met with her back of her laptop. 

“Luke, you know this is due tonight,” she expressed as she continued to type. 

“Tonight, as in we can do stuff now and you’ll still have time to get this done,” he muttered.

His fingertips were gliding up and down the inside of her thigh, watching her skin erupt in goosebumps. His lips curled upward before he pressed his lips against her skin again.

“Not happening until I am finished with this,” she expressed, a laugh falling from her lips. Luke’s lips fell into a pout.

“How much do you have left?” he questioned as he sat up slightly, looking down towards her. His hand was still gliding up and down her thigh teasingly. Looking past her laptop, meeting his gaze, she rolled her eyes playfully before she rested it beside her. 

“You are so impatient,” she let out teasingly. He smirked before he parted her legs once more. Squinting her eyes slightly as she watched him momentarily. Slowly, gliding his hand lower and lower to take a hold of her loose shorts. Luke twisted the fabric between his fingers. He began to tug them from her frame slowly. 

“Luke-” she sat up squirming away from him, giggles falling from her lips. He smirked while rolling his eyes playfully. 

“Fine,” he drew out the word for a few seconds, “I’ll behave while you finish you’re assignment,” he stood up and walked toward the head of the bed. He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers for a moment. 

He pulled away as he delicately took a hold of her chin, “So beautiful,” he whispered before he pecked her lips. “I’ll go get us some food,” he mumbled against her lips before he kissed her again. 

“That’d be great,” she whispered.

“I’ll be back, my love,” he whispered before he started heading out of the room.

It had been a few days since she last saw Mark or Luke. The idea of avoiding their house was already circulating her mind but the fact that they had an away game, made it easier for her to do that.

She hasn’t been bed ridden from a break up since her first boyfriend broke up with her when she was fourteen. But can she even constitute what she had with Luke a break up? They were never officially together. It was six months of spending nearly every day together. It wasn’t just sex. It was the moments before and after they did it that mattered.

She had fallen for him without fulling realizing that she did. One minute, he was just her friends with benefits and the next, she was in love with him. She confessed her feelings for him a month after she realized that she had them. Which led to the end of whatever they were doing. 

Luke didn’t want a relationship. He didn’t want to start up anything with anyone if he was heading to New Jersey. It was always on his mind that one day he would have to drop everything to join the NHL. He didn’t want a single thing holding him back. Which meant no girlfriend. 

Despite Y/N practically being his girlfriend anyway. If he didn’t want a girlfriend, why did he spent all of his free time with her? Cuddling with her? Kissing her? Holding her when she was sad? Why did he do all of that, if it was never that serious.

Deep down, she knew that he never meant to hurt her. He was only doing what felt right and she could handle that, sure, but seeing him afterwards hurts too much right now.

There was a knock on her door and a groan fell from her lips, which the person at the door took as a come in.

“You are going out tonight,” Lydia said simply as she walked towards the bed. She took a hold of the comforter and tossed it off of Y/N’s frame. Another groan fell from her lips as she covered her head with a pillow. Lydia reached over and took the pillow from her grasp. “You need to go to the bar and let hot men buy you drinks and you need to dance,” Lydia said as she smacked her hands against the bed. 

“No,” she said as her voice cracked. She covered her face with her hands.

“You are getting up from this bed, showering and making yourself look hot as fuck and you are going to get drunk,” Lydia begged as she took a hold of Y/N’s arm, physically pulling her from the bed.

“This is peer pressure, you know,” Y/N mumbled as she crossed her arms over her chest. Looking into Lydia’s gaze. A smile flashed to Lydia’s lips.

“It’s only peer pressure if it works,” she said jokingly. Y/N rolled her eyes as she started walking towards her bathroom. Lydia clapped excitedly as she walked out of Y/N’s room.

Stepping into the bathroom, her gaze landed on her reflection in the mirror. It was shocking to see how she looked. She definitely needed a little reset. Maybe it would be good for her. She stepped towards the shower, turning it on.

The next three hours, she spent listening to loud music and taking forever to make sure her hair and makeup looked perfect. 

She stared at her closet, pulling out different dresses. For a while nothing was right, each dress was too tight or too flowy. Each dress it the ground and stayed there until she found a tight black dress with mesh long sleeves. 

She stepped into the bathroom, looking into her reflection; she felt hot and definitely looked that way.

“Y/N, it’s almost eleven, are you ready yet?!” Lydia yelled from the lower level of the house. 

“One second!” she shouted back as she took a hold of her favorite perfume bottle. Instantly, spraying her entire frame with the mist. Delicately, she placed it onto the counter before she leaned down and took a hold of the stilettos beside her. Slipping them on quickly before she heads out of the room towards the stairs.

Walking down the steps, she smiled towards Lydia and Darren as she walked down the steps, “Hot damn girl,” Lydia said as she fanned herself. Y/N grinned as she kept her gaze on the steps, making sure she didn’t trip down the stairs.

Her friends and Mark’s friends were getting together to throw an athletes only rager at Mark’s house. Usually, athletes remained under the radar but one time a year they throw a huge party just for themselves. Making sure, no cameras were around in the process. Everyone’s phones were turned off or kept at home. 

She had on a tight black dress with mesh sleeves that she always felt hot in. She stepped into the house with her teammate and friend, Dina. 

Luke was sitting on the couch beside Ethan. They were engaged in a conversation but Luke stopped talking the second he laid eyes on Y/N. He sat up straighter as he bit his bottom lip while fighting off a grin.

Ethan wasn’t hiding the fact that he was checking her out as well. He dragged his hand across his chin as he stood up and walked away.

“I’m grabbing a drink,” Dina said before she slipped into the party, smiling towards a group of linemen from the football team. 

Y/N smiled towards Luke as she continued walking towards him. He pursed his lips forward as he scanned her frame. It was safe to say that she was the sexiest girl in the room. She stood in front of him for a second before she sat down beside him. He smiled towards her for a moment.

Without hesitation, he took a hold of neck and pulled her towards him; devouring her lips. After a few seconds she pulled away from him, he slipped his hand from the base of her neck towards her cheek. “You are so-” he mumbled against her lips before he kissed her urgently again. 

Slowly, she pulled away from him. “Wait,” she muttered before she leaned fulling back. She dragged her thumb across his lips, trying to clean the lipstick left on his mouth. “So impatient,” she mumbled before standing up from the couch. He leaned back on the couch trailing her steps with his eyes. 

He ran his hand across his lips as he shook his head as a chuckle fell from his lips. 

She continued to walk into the kitchen in dire need of a drink. The house was already pretty crowded with most of the hockey, football, and volleyball team were there. She walked towards the counter and immediately started pouring out a vodka shot.

“Some show,” Mark teased as he walked up beside her. She chuckled as she instantly took the shot. A groan fell from her lips as she shook her head. “He’s obsessed with you,” 

“I don’t blame him,” she mumbled with a smirk on her lips. Mark barked out a laugh as he started pouring himself a mixed drink with vodka and lemonade. She poured out another shot; meeting Mark’s gaze. After a few seconds she took the shot, this time it went down smoother. 

“Can you at least keep his tongue out of your throat in my living room,” he said half jokingly. She laughed while turning to meet Mark’s gaze.

“I’ll think about it,” she teased as she continued out of the kitchen.

“Thank you,” Y/N mumbled before she stepped off of the last step. “Let’s go before I change my mind,” she explained as she chuckled.

“Darren go, go, go,” Lydia said while laughing. Darren tossed his head back while laughing. He took a hold of his keys as he began the charge out of the house. “Everyone’s meeting us at that bar a few streets over,” she explained as she happily swayed her hips back and forth towards Darren’s car. He was already at the car unlocking it. He climbed into the driver seat and turned on the car. 

“As long as I can drink, I’m okay with anywhere,” Y/N said as she climbed into the backseat of the car. Lydia reached for Darren’s phone to start searching for a playlist to listen to on the short ride to the bar.

The ride to the bar was fast as they truly only listened to one song the ride there. Darren put the car into park and immediately turned the car off and jumped out. Lydia was not too far behind but Y/N stayed inside the car. Her eyes were watching the line form outside the bar. It was crowded, like it always was on a Friday night in their college town. 

It was easy getting ready; putting the makeup on and doing her hair was easy and fun. But now that she actually has to step foot into the bar; her legs felt like jello and her mind was hazy. Lydia stood outside the car door and pulled it open for her. 

“Come on, sexy thing,” Lydia said as she reached over and unbuckled the seatbelt. Swallowing hard, Y/N reluctantly stepped out of the car. “It will be fun,” Lydia whispered. Y/N nodded as she glanced towards the entrance. “After a few shots maybe,”

“Yeah, maybe,” she mumbled as she followed after the pair towards the entrance to get in line for the bar. It was cold but her body ran hot from the debilitating anxiety all over her body. 

The line moved fast and majority of the people in line had IDs. There were a few people that needed X’s on their hands. After they stepped inside, the music was loud and vibrated her chest. Lydia leaned into her, whispering something but she couldn’t hear anything. 

Her eyes landed on all too familiar sight. Luke was sitting against the bartop with the girl from the other night. She was standing in between his legs laughing as she ran her fingers through his hair. Y/N was near the entrance, people cussing at her to move but she refused. She kept staring towards the pair. 

The girl shifting her gaze towards Y/N. Their eyes met and her smile faltered before she took a hold of Luke’s chin and kissed him urgently. Clenching her jaw, she forced her gaze towards the floor. Lydia took a hold of her arm trying to drag her deeper into the bar. 

“Don’t look at him,” she shouted towards her as they walked to the opposite end of the bar to get away from him and the girl. God, she wished she knew her name. 

Leaning against the bartop, Lydia shouted towards the bartender. He shifted his gaze towards Y/N and she took a deep breath. “Espresso Martini please,” she yelled towards him. He nodded as he started making the drinks. Shifted her gaze down the bar to see the girl sitting alone and Luke no where to be found.

It didn’t take long for her to get her drink. The bartender handed her the drink and she brought it towards her lips instantly. It was the best drink she’s had in ages. Especially since for the last few months all she’s been drinking is seltzers. 

Lydia sipped her rum and coke and began to walk towards the center of the bar that had a dance floor. Y/N stayed put as she chugged her espresso martini. She placed the empty glass onto the bartop; already feeling hot from the alcohol in her system. 

The bartender smirked. “Another?” he yelled. Y/N leaned against the counter top and nodded with a smirk on her lips. “This ones on the house, pretty girl,” he continued. Y/N smiled widely as she winked towards the bartender. It didn’t take long for him to place another drink in front of her.

“Thank you,” she hollered towards him as she walked towards the dance floor. It could’ve been the lack of food in her body or the placebo effect but she was feeling tipsy already. It definitely was the placebo effect and she was grateful for it. 

The bar was playing early 200s rap music and she was swaying and singing along without a care in the world. Lydia, Darren, and her were dancing for an hour. A new drink in her hand every fifteen minutes. Lydia and Darren were dancing with each other, swaying and singing in each other’s faces. While she was dancing alone, dancing away from any guy that tried to dance with her.

It was probably her fourth or fifth espresso martini within an hour and she knew she was going to regret it later. But right now, dancing and drinking away her heartbreak was everything she needed. It didn’t help that she kept getting glimpses of Luke dancing with the girl. 

Y/N couldn’t tell if Luke saw her but she knew that the girl did. Every time that she saw the pair, the girl kissed Luke urgently. Almost as if to brag that they were together. For the first time in a few days, she didn’t care. She didn’t care that he was with someone else. Didn’t care that she was single, alone, and heart broken. It was like she was normal and happy.

But she knew that was the espresso martinis and she would feel awful in the morning but she was happy. 

Tapping her hand against Lydia’s shoulder, she took her attention. “I’m gonna get some air,” she shouted. Lydia nodded before she began to dance with Darren again. Y/N slipped through the crowd towards the patio. She shoved the door open and stepped outside. Taking in a deep breath, she walked towards the fence blocking the patio in. 

Leaning against it, she began to watch all of the people walking towards the entrance, trying to figure out what their stories might be. 

“Y/N?” a voice rang out. A voice she’s gotten used to hearing for months. 

She sat on the couch with Mark beside her as they were both playing Mario Kart. Luke wandered out of his room, a wide grin on his face as his eyes lit up once he saw her. “Markie, keeping my girl all to yourself?” he asked teasingly. He walked towards the couch, taking a hold of Y/N’s chin and delicately leaning down and kissing her softly. 

“Hughesy, she’s my best friend,” Mark said while laughing. “Not like she’s your girlfriend,” Mark expressed as he leaned forward while starting a new game. Her smile faltered for a second before she pushed it back onto her lips. Luke fought a grin forming to his lips before he squeezed his way onto the couch. 

Dramatically, he wrapped his arm around Y/N’s shoulder; pulling her to his side. He pressed his lips against the top of her head as he started gliding his fingertips across her exposed shoulder and into her hair. His gaze was admiring her side profile. 

“When’s that happening by the way?” Mark asked, teasingly.

“Mark don’t,” she scolded. Luke didn’t even blink as he switched his gaze towards his phone. “Luke, do you want to join? Mark’s got another controller in his room,” she questioned.

“Yeah, why not,” he mumbled as he stood up from the couch and wandered towards Mark’s room. 

“Will you stop?” she paused the game as she shifted her gaze towards him. Mark dropped the controller into his lap. “I told you we’re just hooking up,” she whispered.

“I’ve had my fair share of friends with benefits and I’ve never done anything that you two do,” Mark said as he leaned towards her. “I’ve never done this,” he trailed off as he pressed his lips against the top of her head, “Only done that with a girlfriend.” he said with a smirk before he leaned back. 

Pressing her lips together, she tilted her head back against the couch. “Don’t talk about it with him around,” she muttered. Mark nodded as Luke walked back out into the living room. He squeezed himself back into the couch as he reached his hand over and took a hold of her thigh as she restarted her match with Mark. 

Luke delicately dragged his fingertips along her thigh as he waited for his turn to join the game. His gaze was admiring her side profile again. He leaned towards her as he delicately pressed his lips against her cheek. 

Shutting her eyes, slowly she spun around to see Luke standing behind her. His cheeks were red and sweaty. His hair was a little messy but he looked good. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, stepping towards her.

Lowering her gaze towards the floor, she took a deep breath, “I’m fine,” she mumbled or slurred she couldn’t tell. 

“Let me take you home,” he let out, stepping towards her.

“I just got here,” she said while crossing her arms over her chest.

“You’re drunk,” 

“I’m fine, Luke,” she let out while shaking her head. 

“You can barely stand up,” he said as he took a hold of her arm. Yanking it away from him, she looked into his eyes.

“Don’t touch me," she forced out.

“Please let me get you some water at least,” 

“You don’t get to look at me, you don’t get to care about me,” she said, her eyes filling with tears. He took another step towards her, “You don’t get to pretend to love me anymore,”

“Do you seriously think I was pretending?” he asked while furrowing his eyebrows. He clenched his jaw as he tilted his head to the side. Trying to see if she truly meant what she said. 

“I was in love with you, don’t you get that?” he let out while shaking his head. Scrunching her features together, she tried to sober up to fully process what he was saying. He took a hold of her cheeks. Her eyes softened as he glided his thumbs across the apples of her cheeks. Her hands rested onto his chest. 

“The moment I realized I was in love with you I had to step away because it won’t be fair to you when I leave,” he expressed, he looked over her features as he looked deeply into her eyes. “I tried keeping my distance from you, keep as casual as I could but you are literally impossible to not fall in love with,” 

“If you’re in love with me then why is her tongue down your throat every other minute,” she choked out. Shaking his head, he shifted his gaze towards the sky. 

“I don’t know,” he let out.

“You don’t know?” she let out while laughing. “Goodbye Luke,” she mumbled as she started walked away from him. 

“Y/N, please,” he delicately took a hold of her arm. 

“I’m drunk, I’m not doing this,” she forced out as she pulled her arm away from him and continued walking back inside of the bar. He stood in the patio watching her walk away from him. 

~~~

“Hey,” he whispered as he stood in the doorway. Y/N lifted her gaze from her phone, a smile formed to her lips as he slowly stepped inside. He twisted the lock as he walked towards the bed, tossing his jacket to the floor. 

“How was your practice?” she asked. A huff of air fell from his lips as he walked towards the bed. He sat on his bed, his shoulders slumping. Slowly, he fell onto his back. She rolled onto her side, he lifted his gaze to meet her eye. “Not good?” she questioned, a soft chuckle falling from her lips.

Her fingertips glided through his hair. Shutting his eyes, a smile of content formed onto his lips. “Coach made us skate lines. Fucking exhausted,” he mumbled. A soft giggle fell from her lips. 

“I’m sure, baby,” she whispered as she continued running her fingers through his hair. “What can I do?” she asked softly. A smirk formed to his lips before he puckered them. She smiled before she leaned down and kissed him softly. After a few seconds, he slowly sat up and looked down towards her. His blue eyes softened as he continued to admire her features. “What?” she let out quietly. 

He shook his head as he leaned down and delicately pressed his lips against hers. After a few seconds, he pulled away. “Wanna watch a movie an-and actually watch it?” he asked, a sleepy grin formed to his lips. She smiled softly as she nodded. He laid on his back, holding out his arms for her to lay with him. Without hesitation, she rested her head onto his chest. 

His hands glided up and down her back soothingly. Her fingertips glided along the fabric of his t-shirt. “Got any ideas?” she asked, lifting her head up to look down towards him. 

“Anything’s fine by me, baby,” he let out as he scanned her features. She nodded as she delicately rested her head back down onto his chest. He reached for the remote on the nightstand before he handed it over to her. “Harry Potter’s always an option,” he said before clearing his throat. Rolling her eyes playfully before she turned on the TV. 

“Which one?” she asked softly.

“Wait really?” 

“Which one before I change my mind,” she teased.

“Prisoner of Azkaban, obviously,” he muttered.

“Such a nerd,” she said as she began to turn on the movie. He hummed before he pressed his lips to the top of her head. Slowly he started running his fingers through her hair, twisting the end of it between his fingers.

Around an hour into the movie she was asleep, but Luke was still wide awake. Tilting his head to the side, he looked down and admired her sleeping features. His heart pounded hard against his chest. 

She was so beautiful and so perfect. She was everything he’s ever wanted in a girlfriend. But she was in Michigan and in a year from now he could be in Jersey. He clenched his jaw as he shifted his gaze towards the ceiling. His hand continued to glide along her back, he slipped his hand beneath her shirt, to feel her skin against his fingertips.

All he’s ever wanted and now he needs to let her go.

When she woke up, the first thing on her mind was her conversation with Luke last night. She was hungover, but not as violently as she thought she was going to be. On the other hand, Lydia and Darren were so drunk, they were passed out in her bathroom. She drank liquid IV before she fell asleep, knowing that it would help her in the morning.

Her memory was hazy but his words ran through her mind on repeat. He told her that he was in love. Which was nearly impossible to wrap her mind around the idea that he was. She was in love with him, she was sure of it. But there was no way he felt that way towards her. 

Instead of wallowing in bed, she decided to climb out of bed to cleanse the night away. Her shower lasted nearly an hour. Her music was loud and all she wanted to do was stay in the shower letting the water wash away all of her problems instead of facing it head on.

After the water started to run cold, she was forced to leave the safety of the shower. After washing every inch of her body and smelling like vanilla; she was satisfied as she covered her body with a t-shirt and a lose pair of shorts.

She walked towards the bed to see her phone vibrating on her bed. She sighed as she flipped it over to see Luke was calling her. No longer showing the contact photo she had of him. Sighing she brought her phone close to her ear as she answered. 

“Wanna go for a drive?” Luke asked, skipping straight to the point. Her mouth fell open as she tried to find something to say. “Y/N?” he let out.

“Uh, sure? Why?”

“Come outside,” he mumbled before hanging up. Slowly, she pulled the phone away from her ear as she stared towards it for a second. Sighing, she began to walk out of her room. Lydia yelled at her about being quieter, but she ignored her as she continued down the stairs towards the front door.

She pulled the door open and stepped outside to see Luke’s car in front of the house. Walking towards the car, she opened the passenger door and sat in the seat without looking towards him.

“Hey,” he let out quietly. She didn’t say anything, instead she put on her seatbelt as she kept her gaze in her lap. He put the car in drive as he started to pull out of the neighborhood they shared. “Can we talk about last night?” 

Ignoring him, she reached over and turned up the soft country music on his radio. Reaching a light, Luke shifted his gaze towards her. Their eyes connected for a moment before she shifted her gaze down towards her lap.

“Y/N, do you remember last night?” he asked quietly. 

“I remember,” she mumbled, “I just don’t want to talk about it,” 

“Y/N,”

“You told me you were in love with me but your tongue was done another girl’s throat minutes prior; and I was supposed to believe you?” she forced out. His mouth opened before it clamped shut, “Since you want to talk about it, let’s talk about that, Luke.”

“Everything I told you last night was true,” he explained. She huffed as she switched her gaze out the window. “Do you really think I was pretending?” he asked. She took in a deep breath as she tilted her head back fighting tears.

“We spent nearly every day together for six months and out of no where you end it over text; what else am I supposed to think?” 

“I ended it because I was scared,”

“Scared of what Luke?” she let out harshly.

“Hurting you,”

“Well, you did that anyway,” she mumbled. 

“Y/N,” 

“Seriously, Luke, how can you say that you love me and just makeout with another girl right in front of me?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know,” he let out while shaking his head. “I really thought I could keep enough distance from you to keep it casual. And then it stopped being casual and I was falling for you,” 

“What are you doing right now?” she asked while rolling her eyes. 

“I’m trying to fix this,” he let out as he pulled into a parking lot near one of their favorite restaurants they used to go to together.

“There is nothing to fix, Luke! You ended things with me and then two days later starting making out with a girl right in front of me. The only reason I got in this car was to tell you that you can’t tell me you love me after the way you treated me for months. We can be friends because of Mark but that’s it. Now turn around and take me home,” she explained as tears fell onto her cheek. 

He swallowed hard as he met her gaze. He chewed his bottom lip for a moment before he took a deep breath. “I really was trying to do the opposite of hurting you,” he mumbled. She nodded. 

“I know,”

[bbyobbyo]

Everyone thinks Vernon is always at your place because you feed him. While you can agree it's mostly true, there might be more to it than meets the eye.

content: fluff, f2l, mentions of food

wc: 1.6k

notes: me taking a stab at writing lol. i also don't know how tumblr works. inspired by the fact that this man will eat everything in sight regardless if its someone else's food or not. i'd love to cook for him someday ❤

6pm on the dot. You don't even have to check to know who it is.

"Hey, Sol." You look up from the pot you've been stirring to greet your visitor who let himself in. Your apartment's passcode was practically muscle memory at this point.

"Hey, smells good in here," he comments while taking off his shoes, "I mean — it always does but you get it." You give him a little chuckle in response.

You hadn't been friends with Hansol for very long, but when a mutual friend decided to introduce you two to each other, you instantly hit it off. The whirlwind of a friend group you now shared was filled with strong personalities and quirks: Seungcheol was the self-proclaimed "dad" of the group but you'd swear he would whine and complained more than the rest of them combined. Seungkwan, the one who always had a sassy quip to share, but would be the first to cry at Disney movie nights. There was Jihoon, who showed his love exclusively with acts of service but is so tsundere he would rather die to admit he had any kind of emotions besides annoyance. Not to mention Soonyoung, who made it his mission to convince everyone that he was a tiger. No one knew how this bit started but everyone finds it entertaining nonetheless.

Amongst them all, Hansol was just a dude. A normal guy. As funny as it sounds, that's what made you two click so well. Not that he didn't have his own aspirations (and his own fair share of quirks!), but he had always been the sort of person that was along for the ride. Although a little bit clueless at times, you could tell his heart was in the right place.

"I brought dessert, by the way," He plops a plastic bag onto the kitchen counter, his cheekbones pushed all the way out in a smug grin, "hope you like it."

"Aww, Sol you didn't have to!" delight in your eyes as you wipe your freshly washed but still wet hands on your pants and scurry over to peek inside the bag. "Oh my god, this is that tiramisu from that bougie place, isn't it?! I heard the wait times were, like, over an hour. You're insane for this, thank you so much!" You're practically beaming as you put the dessert in refrigerator, promptly turning around to give him a hug. His hands automatically reach around your back as you bury your face into his chest. Man, he will never get tired of the way you smile at him over the smallest things.

"You're always feeding me, so it's like, the least I can do really" he murmurs as you let go, his own smile spreading across his face when you look up at him.

Right. Your relationship with Hansol was rooted in the fact that you both loved food. Cooking food in your case, and eating it for him. It was a match made in heaven, really. In the beginning stages of your friendship, you always noticed how he would always ask for bites of other peoples' food, the way he would eye a bag of snacks if anyone dared to bring them out, the "you gonna finish that..?" that would inevitably follow the conclusion of every meal. The guy was a human trash can with a black hole in place of his stomach. So really, was anyone surprised when Hansol practically attached himself to you that day you brought in those homemade baked goods for the friend group?

After that day, the rest was history. His insatiable hunger and the lack of his own cooking skills (poor dude would be consuming toast everyday if he didn't eat out) made him worship the ground you walked on whenever you fed him. In turn, his enthusiasm for your cooking and willingness to give honest feedback on your experimental recipes made him a regular guest at your apartment, much like today.

Hansol would be lying if he said he didn't feel like he was taking advantage of you sometimes, no matter how much you insisted that it wasn't the case. He always tried his best to chip in for your groceries or pick up ingredients when you didn't have time. He didn't even mind the way his friends teased him for being at your place more often than his own or the fact that you gained your own nickname among the guys as his personal chef. He was happy with your little arrangement, and it also helped that you were so easy to be around.

"Hey, can you help me set the table?" you say as you push a stack of plates and tableware toward him. Your attention is quickly pulled away again as you go to plate the food you've been laboring over the past hour.

The routine is a familiar one: sitting down across from each other with a wide array of dishes and sides in between. You always make him take the first bites; "I already taste tested everything as I was cooking, silly!" you would say, eyes focused and hands tucked under your chin eagerly awaiting his reactions and thoughts.

Today's meal was a hit, as it usually is. Hansol could count less than a handful of times that he didn't love your food, and even then he still ate everything despite you telling him that it was okay if he didn't finish it.

The next part of the routine, however, rivals even the food in his eyes. Both of you are glued to the chairs chatting away, even when all the food is long gone and empty plates remain on the table. Between you two, there was always something to talk about. Tangents turn to into more tangents turn into "remember when we…" turn into "we should totally do…" Hours can pass by before one of you even remembers that there was dessert in the fridge, and even more hours before either of you get up again to go wash the dishes. When that happens, you simply carry the conversation to the kitchen except this time with the gentle running of sink as background noise.

You were like a breath of fresh air from the chaos of his main friend group and someone he felt entirely comfortable with. Except lately he's been wanting to see you more and more. He would catch himself staring at his phone hoping a text from you would pop up, asking him to come over again.

He's embarrassed to admit that you have never hung out one-on-one outside of the walls of your apartment. It was an unspoken boundary that you two saw each other under the pretense of food, a boundary that he increasingly would like to cross.

You're not even looking at him, attention focused on scrubbing away at the pot in your hand, still talking about that awkward encounter with your neighbor yesterday. But the longer he stares at you, Hansol thinks to himself — have you always been this pretty? He traces every part of your form, from the micro expressions you make with your eyebrows as you talk, to noticing the little strands of hair by your face that escaped the ponytail you put it in, and the way your left sleeve is slowly slipping down your arm and in danger of getting soaked.

"...so screw me if I thought that it was none of his busine— Sol...?"

Before he even knew what he was doing he found himself abandoning his plate drying duty and sliding behind you at the sink, your back pressed against his chest as he grabbed your sleeve and gingerly rolled it up your arm once again. Just as he thinks you can't get any more gorgeous, his world stops when you turn your head around and he finds your face inches from his. The way your eyes glisten into his own makes the split second feel like an eternity before pulling away.

"S-sorry if I scared you, just didn't want your sleeve to get wet." adding a nervous chuckle to the end as he returns to the stack of tableware he has yet to dry.

"N-no! It's okay! Thank you for that!" you stammer back, trying not to look him in the eyes to hide the very obvious blush that spread on your cheeks. "Ahaha... yeah so anyways, what was I saying again?" Without missing a beat, he replies "you were talking about how your nosy neighbor thinks we're dating because I come over so often."

"Oh, haha, right..." your voice is barely above a whisper, a chuckle dies in your throat as you realize you've been scrubbing an already clean pot for 5 minutes now. You sigh as you turn off the water and start drying off your hands to put the dishes back in their places.

"I don't mind," he says after a thoughtful pause. It takes a second for you to register the words. "Sorry, what?"

"I don't mind if he thinks we're dating."

You feel like the hearing comprehension part of your brain just reset. "Wait, wha-"

"I think it would be kinda nice actually... if we dated."

After a second too long of silence from you, he was the one with panic with his eyes this time. "B-but only if you want to! Shit, uh, sorry I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. Just forget I said anyth-"

He's interrupted by your arms snaking around his neck. "You're hopeless, Sol", you say as you press a light kiss to his lips. "I think it would be nice if we dated, too."

[prettynice8]

Can you do a male reader cuckold? (Y/N) & Bakugo are in a relationship, and (y/n) gets railed by Izuku in front of Bakugo? Maybe as revenge for years of bullying? Thank you!

That's so cute

AGED UP! Izuku Midoriya x male reader (Bakugo x male reader)

This guy

Stuff: Cucking (DUH), swearing, smashing, Bakugo is a cuck lol, cheating but make it cute, Izuku is kind of a schemer, smashing, bottom reader, top Izuku, marking, reach around, full nelson.

TW: there is cheating and cucking, Bakugo is a little abusive

Word Count: 2,098

Notes: I kind of hate Bakugo so this is actually quite therapeutic.

Bakugo was a total fucking asshole. He didn't care what people thought, they were all simply extras. He didn't give a single fuck about anyone, except you.

You were practically his whole world. All he thought about now was your bright smile, enchanting eyes, and wonderful body. He was simply obsessed with you.

You were his new motivation for being a hero now, instead of being the best he mostly just cared about protecting you. Though even you never stopped him from being a total asshole to everyone around him, not even his love for you could stop that.

He still bullied Izuku to absolute filth, still calling him Deku and useless and an extra. Telling him to kill himself and just real heinous shit while you tried to get him to stop, which is the main thing Izuku would remember from the harsh bullying... you.

Sure, the words still stung, but the fact that you, Bakugo's own boyfriend, had tried to stop the cruel fighting. The way you would check up on Izuku made his heart swell, the fact that such a beautiful thing cared about him was heart swelling.

Such a shame you're dating a total fucking dick.

It wasn't particularly dramatic to say Izuku was in love with you, and it wasn't particularly dramatic to say everyone knew. The way he stares at you from across the room, the way he always tries to talk or hang out with you as much as possible, and the way he constantly showers you with compliments and favors. He would always just say that you're his friend so why wouldn't he buy you 100 dollars' worth of stuff, that's what friends do.

You never really thought much about it, he's been your friend for so long, before you even started dating Bakugo, so it's normal how Izuku would always stare at you for a little too long, or how his touches were always a little more lingering than necessary, but Bakugo on the other hand.

He fucking hated how obvious Izuku was about his affections, acting as though is feelings for you were merely platonic. He couldn't stand how you would still hang out with him, which caused many fights, just like the one you're having with him right now.

"I don't see the problem." You stated, confused on why Bakugo was still yelling at you for hanging out with Izuku.

"The problem is that you're a fucking idiot who can't see he clearly wants to fuck you!" He yelled, furious at your naivety.

"Friends don't just do the things he does, I've seen the way he looks at you, the way you let him touch you and it just makes me sick!" He shouted out, his frustration ever growing.

"He's been my friend longer than I've dated you, you can't just expect me to drop him because you're insecure." You exclaimed, growing tired of his constant jealousy.

"INSECURE?! You listen here! The problem isn't me being insecure, the problem is that you're a fucking slut who doesn't see the most basic shit in the world, like how he clearly wants to fuck that already used asshole of yours!" Bakugo yelled out, saying anything he can to hurt you, so you'll come to your senses.

You have no words to say to him, you stand there utterly speechless and in shock at his harsh words. Finally, a sound comes out of your mouth, but not an apology like Bakugo had hoped for, but sobs, sobs that get choked out from the tears that are rushing down your face.

Bakugo wants to reach out and hold you, try to comfort you, but his pride and anger are far bigger than his care for your feelings at the moment.

"Of course you're fucking crying, god you're such a little bitch, why do I even bother with you." He said coldly, his pride getting the better of him.

With that you finally storm off from the conversation, after having had enough of his jealous and cruel antics. You run off into the hall of the dorms until accidentally running into a very special someone.

"O-oh god, are you okay y/n?" Izuku asked kindly and with genuine concern, holding you in a tight hug while you cry into his broad chest.

You were still rather speechless, and even if you tried to talk the words would only get choked down by your sobs; so, you stand there crying into the Izuku while he tries desperately to comfort you, running his hand through your hair (or scalp if you're bald and beautiful).

After a few more pets of his hand, you eventually pull away and prepare to speak. "Shit, sorry for making your shirt all gross." You apologized.

"You're fine, I only care about why you were crying." He replied, his concern for you overshadowing any care for his clothes.

"Bakugo is fucking dick, that's what." You stated, your previous sadness having now grown into righteous anger.

After you said that a wave of understanding and pity washed over Izuku's face, but also a hint of... joy.

"Yeah, Kachan can be a little.... rude sometimes." Izuku understated, clearly wanting more to say.

"He's a fucking heart breaker who I want to die." You said coldly, you upset feelings being fully angry at this point.

"Don't say that he's your boyfriend." Izuku stated, though he secretly enjoyed how angry you were getting over Bakugou.

"I just want to hurt him back, like with what he did to me-" You were going to say more until you were suddenly interrupted by Izuku's lips on your own.

You were so stunned that you didn't know what to do, so you just stood there in shock, unable to do anything to be kissed by him. Izuku realizes your stunned expression and pulls away.

"Fuck, sorry, I just thought..." He apologized, looking into your eyes with his own pleading and hoping you won't be too mad.

"Thought what?" you asked, not particularly mad at his actions, just surprised and confused.

"Well, I thought that if you wanted to hurt Bakugo, I have pretty good idea for that." Izuku stated, the gears turning in his head.

"How?" you asked again, your interest officially piqued.

"I was thinking that he gets awfully upset whenever I'm around you, so..." He let on, hoping you'll get the hint.

"So, like, kiss me when he's around." You replied, looking intently at Izuku, with all this mischievous planning of his you're finally realizing how... hot he is.

"I was more so thinking; he walks in on me fucking your brains out." He answered flatly, as one does.

You're face erupts in blush at the thought of having sex with Izuku, not only do you get to piss of Bakugo, but you also get to fuck the guy that's looking hotter by the minute. The nice and timid boy Izuku used to be is seemingly overtaken by this new bold, horny, and incredibly sexy version, not that you're complaining.

"But how do you know he'll walk in on us?" you asked, still a little confused on how the plan is actually going to work.

"Just leave it to me." He said before going back to kissing your lips.

Instead of standing there stunned like the last time, you reciprocate the kiss instantly, wrapping your arms around Izuku's neck, pulling him closer in and deepening the kiss. He responds by picking you up bridal style and leads you both to your room, his master plan already set in motion.

Izuku gently lays you on the bed and goes right back to kissing your lips, in which you open your mouth so his tongue could enter, which he takes instant action at, shoving his tongue into your mouth, exploring every inch.

The kiss is so passionate that you can't get enough, wrapping your legs around his waist, grinding your now hard and clothed dick against his own. He responds to this by doing the same, syncopating the rhythm with your own.

But just grinding isn't near enough, within an instant he strips you both naked, that superhero training being used in ways All Might never thought possible.

With both of you now being completely naked, there was nothing stopping him from putting his achingly hard dick into your readily awaiting ass.

But before he can get to the fun part, he knows he has to do the nice thing and prepare you before just shoving it in like Bakugo did.

He starts by inserting one finger in, slowly pumping it in and out until you're ready for a second one. With two fingers he opens you up more and more, until he's even able to fit 3 in. With that he stops adding more and sticks with fitting three of his fingers inside you.

Once he believes you're ready for the real thing, he takes all three of his fingers and looks into your eyes sweetly.

"You ready?" He asked, knowing that his cock might be a bit difficult to deal with.

"Yeah, I'm so ready." You answered, touched that he asked, something Bakugo never did, and a little worried about having to fit such a fat cock inside you, one that's much bigger than Bakugo's.

With your words he starts putting his massive dick into your evidently tight hole, since he can barely even fit the tip in. He starts laying little kisses all over your face before finally meeting your mouth, which he deeply kisses. This kiss is very different from the previous ones, instead of lust and passion it's all about love and pleasantness, relaxing you enough to where he can fit a little bit more of his cock in.

He starts slowly going in, deeper and deeper until finally he's able to bottom out inside of you, his entire cock filling you up very nicely. Izuku stays like that for a while, waiting for you to fully relax with him inside you. He stares at you awaiting a response, until you finally nod, and with that he is raring to go.

He starts with slow thrusts, wanting your hole to get more acquainted with his cock, but eventually he starts to find a quicker and steady pace.

As he goes faster you moans get louder, his massive cock hitting your prostate with little to no effort. You look up at Izuku and notice how sweetly he's staring back at you, his hands cupping your hips with a bruising grip. His eyes look so kind, even though he's wrecking your insides you can't help but look back at him with the same look.

This all goes out the door though when you hear footsteps coming along, which leads Izuku to forgo the nice thing and just start destroying your asshole.

He rams into you at near inhuman speeds, hitting your prostate hard with every quick thrust, his cock almost splitting you open. He continues this insane pace and power even after the door opens.

As if on cue, Bakugo walks in right as you cum, hard, all over Izuku's chest, Izuku isn't far after, cumming deep inside your hole. After that Izuku picks you up into his lap, facing you towards Bakugo. His cock quickly hits hard again as he slowly picks you up full nelson style and sits you back on his dick, his rough and calloused hand coming to wrap around your newly hard cock, all the while looking Bakugo dead in the eyes.

"Hey, Bakugo." He states, using his real name and not the stupid nickname he would usually use, but that's not the only thing that's changed. His cute smirk is now a devilish grin, and his voice is deep and almost chilling, making you even more horny for the man.

Bakugo does nothing but stand there in utter shock as he watches his boyfriend get used and abused by his worst enemy, this was Izuku's plan all along, since the first time he found out you started dating Bakugo.

He knew Bakugo would be a terrible boyfriend, and he knew you would immediately come to him if you ever had a problem with him, after all he was your best friend, so why wouldn't you. He also knew that you were quite petty and would easily agree to this kind of thing, and of course everything worked out splendidly.

Everything is going exactly as he wanted, not only is Bakugo crying on the floor, but he also gets to make love to the man he's obsessed with, you.

THE END

[cherryblooom]

2XL — OP81 [ part 2 ]

Summary: You are a young artist who gained a lot of popularity at the ripped age of 14 due to your talent and unusual style. Your body is considered "voluminous" so, in public, you only use 2XL clothing, to protect yourself from people on the internet and feel more comfortable while performing. You have managed to keep your personal life outside the spotlight but when Oscar finally made it to the glamorous lifestyle of motorsports, everything changed.

Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Reader

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Fic warning: best friends to lovers, kinda slow burn, slut shaming, weird people on the internet, people commenting about a minor's body, panic attack, body image, reader battles with her self-esteem, self-image, and self-love, Oscar is obsessed with his girlfriend and her body (not in a creepy way) and is not afraid of showing it, I hate Karly and will too lol

Faceclaim: Billie Eilish

Note: Oscar is a year older than the reader. SMAU mixed with narrative. Reader doesn't have that much access to social media right now as they are mostly controlled by their management. Some K-pop artist will show up 'cause why not? lol

You knew you were tearing apart your suitcase, crumpling everything in your path, even a dark blue dress your mother bought in hopes you would wear, but you threw it on the floor without any concern. That dress was the least of your problems now.

“Please, please, come on… there must be another one. Where is it?” At that moment, you were almost on the verge of a panic attack, and not being able to control it anymore, you felt the tears start to come.

You had your manager on your heels, people on social media looking for the tiniest detail to take you down, a whole crew ready to film the entire event to interview you afterwards, and on top of that you were on day two of your period, in pain that you could only describe as hell itself – could it get any worse? Oh, of course it can be worse. You’re a teenager, which means your body is constantly changing. You had to be on stage in about 30 minutes and you had no underwear, or to be more specific, all the bras you had in your suitcase didn’t fit. It’s not a secret that your breasts were one of your most striking attributes (and you try to hide them as much as you can) and you swore that they were getting bigger every day. With each passing day, you began to hate your body. The bras you have now were too small for you and even if you tried to put them on, all you could feel was the underwires digging into your sensitive bust and you couldn’t even think about walking or jumping.

''Yn, what are you doing on the floor?'' Karly, your manager for 2 years, entered the room. ''And you're not even ready! Come on, it's almost 7:00 p.m. and the show is about to start.''

''I can't. I-I don't know what happened, but none of my bras fit and they're so uncomfortable. I'm on my period and I think my breasts have grown and…''

''And what do you want me to do? Honey, I don't have another bra you can wear, at least not in your size. But why did you pack them if you knew they wouldn't fit?''

''I didn't pack them! I was going to, and you told me we didn't have time, and you'd bring me my suitcase later, and now none of them fit.''

''Look, how about you try wearing one and practice here?'' your manager said, and you heard an edge to her voice. She was upset, and it only made you feel smaller, like this was all your fault.

“I tried! I tried wearing one but it doesn’t work. I can’t even breathe without the wires digging into my bust and it just hurts,” you cried. You were upset and frustrated. This day should have been special because of the big show that awaited you outside, but it was turning into a nightmare.

''Oh my god. Yn, what do you want me to do? What can I do? Should I go out and tell your fans and the filming crew that we need to cancel the show because your bra doesn't fit you? You wouldn't want that, would you?'' she said, and you felt like crying more. She knelt down in front of you and held your hands as she rubbed her thumb against your skin. ''Honey, I know it's not easy, but we can't turn back now and even if we could, we'd have to tell everyone the reason for the cancellation and you wouldn't want that, right? Imagine the headlines'' You shook your head. No, you didn't want that. You don't want to disappoint your fans and give the media another reason to hate you and tear you apart.

—That’s what I thought. I know it’s hard, but just try, okay? I’ll have to double-check something with the film crew. Stay here and I’ll come get you when it’s time for you to go on stage.'' That was the last thing she said before leaving you alone.

You tried again with a black bra, the largest one in the suitcase, and began to practice one of your songs, but with each breath the wires sank even further.

"Fuck, damn it!"

Officially, you were panicking. There were about 25 minutes left, and you had no idea what the hell to do, at this point you couldn't even breathe, you were starting to choke, and your vision was blurry from tears.

The first thing Oscar heard when the call connected was your crying on the other end of the line and his heart broke into pieces. He didn't like hearing you like that.

''Honey, I need you to take a deep breath. Just close your eyes and breathe. Don't worry about anything but breathing.''

''I c-can't. I can't breathe and my chest hurts, and Karly is coming for me in 20 minutes and…''

''I know it's difficult, but honey, I need you to close your eyes and breathe. I don't want you to think about anything but breathing. I'll be there for you very soon, I promise.''

''No, no, please don't hang up, please…''

''No, my love, I will never do that. I want you to put your head between your knees, take a deep breath, and I need you to hold it for 3 seconds before you let it go, okay? Can you do that for me, pumpkin?

There were a few moments of silence where Oscar was worried, but when he heard you take deep breaths as he had instructed and your crying faded, he calmed down. It wasn't very common for you to have panic attacks, but that means it must be something very serious for you to have one.

''That's it. You're doing great, babygirl. Are your hands still shaking?''

''N-no''

''Perfect. I'm so proud of you, doll, you did amazing. Now please, tell me what happened?'' Oscar asked and after answering him, he couldn't help but feel the rage forming in his chest. He never liked Karly and, if it was up to him, she would have been fired months ago. ''Oh, baby, that's horrible and no, it's not your fault and you're not throwing a tantrum. You shouldn't go on stage if you're not feeling well and Karly is the one who should take care of things like that, but she didn't. It's not your fault. Don't worry, I'll fix it, okay? I promise.''

''But, how-...?''

''Just to trust me. My mom will be there with you in about 5 minutes, okay? And I'll arrive before you have to go on stage. Leave that to me. You trust me?''

''I do, I trust you''

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dailyop81 Oscar was seen today leaving a Victoria Secret's store afer he went to a Dior one, all of this before attending YN LN's concert. For whom do you think these gifts are for?

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twicetagram so proud of you girlyy! @ ynusername

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Radio Check: Part 2! I'm really excited how this story is turning out; I hope you guys are loving it as much I am.

For the news, I tried to make it like a real blog, let me know if you like it or if you would like me to keep doing it that way!

Tagged list: @xivilivix @multifan-idk @newlifeforus @diorbrxtz @vroomvroomcircuit

If you want to be tagged, just let me know and reblog if you liked it!

[bonus-links]

mandatory directors commentary ask because I’m absolutely obsessed with them <333 I just think it’s really cool seeing what you put into each update it’s so interesting :)

OKAY BUCKLE UP

a kind of important piece of context that's probably missing for this conversation wake and tetra have is that they were dating and broke up fairly recently. it felt awkward to shoehorn in a line about it but there u have it. anyway that's why wake feels the need to ask tetra to keep an eye on outset in the first place. like she'd actually say no.

did u know tetra has this image of the hero of time in her room on the ship? this worked out very well for me having that in frame hehe. it's also where the sun motif in the "we're cursed" panel comes from!

i like the idea that wearing big fancy earrings is a part of formal dress across all hylian cultures, and outset is no different! these particular ones wake is wearing are based on abalone shells which i think make really beautiful jewelry :-)

i just want to call attention to this relationship chart panel. wake doesn't even know that the first thing slate did was put a sword to wolf's neck. he doesn't know how right he is

this location is the top of ganondorf's tower. it's a little bit more of a symbolic image than a memory tho. fun fact, when you look at this location in noclip tetra is just standing there without her eyes loaded in. spooky stuff

okay, now onto the big one. the flood scene! this is in fact a vision Loft had of the original divine flood that created the Great Sea, and Loft is putting the pieces together. The one in the middle is actually wind waker's hyrule castle, not a temple like i've seen a few people guess. i had this really strong image in my head of the flood starting by pouring out of Hyrule Castle. does this make sense logistically, given the barrier we see around Hyrule Castle implies it was saved from the flood? maybe not, but I couldn't get the idea out of my head, so in the comic it goes

we don't ever seen WW's castle town in the game, so I actually used OOT's castle town as a reference. I just really needed a reference for this or else my head was gonna explode lol. that's also OOT's death mountain, which is mostly just there to show the spread of the flood.

this ending bit with the flood is kind of intended to be a continuation of the Farosh scene on the bridge. Loft is going to continue to have and be reminded of terrible visions of the future, and that anxiety he has around that isn't going to just go away. But I really wanted a scene where he acts on what Slate told him on the bridge— don't pity this place. He snaps himself out of it and chooses to join the party.

another note on that last panel lol, the person who's waving to him is Rose, the pig lady from the bonus comic!

alrighty I think that's all I got for now

[shewhowas39]

a quick note on elven maturity

all right. time for another lore dump, brought to you by a big DnD fangirl.

so i see a lot of conversation around Astarion's age at the time of being turned (39 years old) and how, in DnD, that would make him a "child." this comes from rules and lore that state that elves can live to be about 750 years old (or older) and are considered adults at 100 years old. and i can absolutely see why that is confusing, but let me break it down a bit.

Elves reach physical maturity at the same age as humans, but after that point, their aging slows down tremendously. a 39 year old elf may be "considered a child" but has the physical maturity of a human in their 20s and mental maturity of a 39 year old human.

so let's talk about that "considered a child" business. this might be cleared up by adding the caveat "by other elves" at the end.

the distinction of "childhood" is cultural. because elves live so long, they see those under the age of 100 as youthful. think about it: if you had seen five hundred years of shit, you'd think an 80 year old was a sweet summer child, too. hell, i'm in my 30s and sometimes it's hard not to look at people in their early 20s as "kids" because we're just in such different places in our lives, even though they are legally adults.

even in the real world, maturity and adulthood are seen differently across cultures. different countries have different drinking ages, different ages for driving cars, different ages of consent. those standards may seem odd to an outsider, used to their own cultural norms, but every community is different.

elves don't just see other elves under age 100 as children. they see other races this way as well. high elves tend to view humans as immature - even in their old age - because 80 years to them is nothing.

i was a legal adult at 18, but 18 year old me didn't know half the shit 33 year old me does. and i'm sure 45 year old me will think 33 year old me was "young" by comparison.

now, i've seen some takes that Astarion might be lying about being a magistrate because he was "a child" and why would they make a child a magistrate? that argument might hold up in an elven dominated city, but Baldur's Gate is mostly human. by human standards, Astarion had the same mental capacity as any other 39 year old man.

Astarion, at age 39, may have been seen as a "child" by other high elves, but this isn't literal. it merely means he had yet to reach a major cultural milestone of a very, very long lived race. a milestone even the most elderly of humans likely will never reach.

would you call an 80 year old human a child? no. but a high elf very well might see them that way. not in the physical sense, but in a "oh to be young and naive and know less of the world than I do" sense. the way that we all inevitably look at those a decade younger than us, even though they are adults, and see their youth in comparison to our own.

it's 5am here and i'm babbling. the point is, the "child" bit of elven lore in DnD is confusing, i get it. but it's purely cultural. in Baldur's Gate, a city primarily run by humans, Astarion was not seen as a child by most. he was a grown man. he had the mental maturity of a 39 year old man. the only people who would have seen him as a child are other, older high elves (mostly those who grew up in a place like Evermeet) and maybe elders of other races - even humans - who were like "oh, to be 39 again!" (lol, me the day i turn 40 probably.)

tl;dr elves in dnd are not LITERALLY children until they turn 100. it's an elven culture thing, similar to how in real life different cultures have different standards for things like driving, drinking, joining the army, and age of consent.

[doki-doki-imagines]

MK1 men react to their fem s/o wearing an MK9 outfit into battle? 🤭

author note: Johnny, Tomas and Kung Lao reaction here. Some guys are together because I think there is a limit to the kind of reactions someone can have to a partner with a skimpy dress LOL. Writing for these many characters is...hard

If you like what I write consider tipping/commissioning me on ko-fi!

Kenshi Takahashi: -He doesn't have a strong opinion on your new suit. -Mostly because he can't see it. Even with the help of Sento, it's not like Kenshi is able to clearly see, he just notices that something is different. -Things change when you press his thick fingers on your naked stomach, making him feel the strings that keep your dress together. -Kenshi is LIVID. -He is going to tell you he is angry because such an attire won't be safe in battle, but Kenshi is just trying to make you cover yourself up. -Yeah, Kenshi is jealous and doesn't mind manipulating you a bit into doing what he wants, mostly because he thinks he is doing it for your own good.

Liu Kang, Raiden, and Kuai Liang: -They would all stand still, their brain trying to load what is going on. -Like, they find you hot, but their brains work harder this time and tell them "It isn't the right time." -Liu Kang won't push you into covering up, and he'll keep an eye on you in battle. Be ready to get the emperor of earful if you get a scratch, tho. -Raiden and Kuai Liang angers bubble up, but while Raiden won't say anything and try to keep his temper at bay. -But don't expect to see him overjoyed at the end of the battle, for sure the dress elicited more worry and anger rather than passion. -Kuai Liang will be snippy the entire time, he didn't enjoy this stunt, not in front of everyone. -He'll ask at the end if you can avoid dressing like that in front of everyone. "Only if you admit that I'm hot." "Hotter than me, touch my arm if you don't believe me." -You won't touch just the arm.

Geras, Shao Khan, Reiko, Syzoth: -#TeamIdc -Geras simply doesn't mind, not growing up with an Earthreal mindset. -Shao Khan finds you hot, and seeing the blood of enemies on your skin is just a plus for him. -Reiko doesn't really mind, but he'd prefer if you wear more armour just in case? Or directly stay at home; he likes your soft skin. -Syzoth like Geras wasn't raised with Earthrealm's mindset, so he doesn't see anything wrong with that. Another one that is just worried you'll get wounded easier.

Bi-Han, Rain, Havik, Quan-Chi: -#Areyouinsane?Theyareworse. -They are jealous and possessive. They won't accept you dressing up like that for battle. -Bi-Han gets insanely possessive even in a normal setting, he absolutely needs to work on that. He thinks that kind of dress is right just if it falls on the floor in the next .25 sec thanks to his deft hands. -Zeffeero usually isn't too strict, he doesn't mind a deep neckline or vent, but this is too much. It looks closer to lingerie rather than a dress and Zeffeero will die before letting you out like that.

-Havik is anger incarnate. He shouts like a madman and his face being corroded makes him look even scarier. -Quan-Chi is a mixture between the two, closer to Zeffero, tho. He won't lash out, but his revenge will slither slowly, hitting you harder than any outburst.

Shang Tsung: -"What a sight for my eyes" He says after whistling. -His voice is deep, caressing your egos with compliments. -Shang Tsung really doesn't mind your attire, if anything you are now a perfect bait in case he needs to escape…

[tomiyeee]

donnie had. SO. much concept art lol. i really enjoyed the whole design process though. his base design is very difficult to work with because of the battleshell, but it gave me a lot of chances to get creative and i'm happy with the results :)

(also as a disclaimer so i don't get asked about this: i don't have motivation to finish raph or the wish art for donnie, so i'm just posting what i've got)

i didn't annotate these as much since there'd be a lot to write, but i'll write out some of my thought processes and go into some detail about his final design below the cut if you're interested! (it's long. i'm talkative 😔)

1st row - first iteration; much more literal 1:1 translation of his design into a fantasy setting. very steampunk-y. ended up completely scrapping it because, simply put, he looked more like an npc than a playable character. obviously, several features did still carry over throughout the design process :3 also wanted to imagine his attack pattern cuz i thought it'd be fun to incorporate his spider arms.

this was actually the first design of any of them i'd come up with! i've definitely learned a lot about genshin's character design style since then and i think it shows 😂

2nd row - playing around with the idea of a floating battleshell (rather than a backpack-like one in the the show & first version), inspired by nahida's cape. also hard light constructs/attachments. was leaning too into the sci-fi and rectangular motifs with the design, but i liked the idea.

3rd/4rth rows - concepts for his final outfit and shell designs (the colored/more-detailed pics are the more finalized ones). took a lot of inspiration from sumeru this time around. it's a lot sharper, shinier, and less rectangular than his og aesthetic, but i think it's more in-line with genshin's design philosophies.

5th row - not entirely sure why i went through all the trouble of making a 3d model for this. i mostly just thought it'd be fun and good for reference. i was right, but i don't know what to do with it now lol. can't be bothered to be a perfectionist about it though, so don't look too closely at it 😭

6th row - incomplete thumbnails of his burst/wish art. not super sold on that "wing" design in particular, but i do like the idea of his shell splitting and deploying hard light weapons/rocket launchers/etc sort of like in canon.

battleshell/misc notes - i'm thinking his battleshell is controlled using the pink sensor on the back of his coat, possibly in combination with his headset. it floats behind him by default and is sturdy enough to protect his back, but he can also freely fly it around like a drone if he wants. the holes on the side are mainly for the spider arms and the banners(?) and handles(?) with the blue/pink gradient are made of hard light and only appear when the shell is in use.

i imagine like in the series, his tech here isn't necessarily very reliant on his vision/powers; much of it he likely made himself long before he received a vision and he just uses his vision to enhance it.

his burst is a barrage of missiles from his shell that lock onto an enemy and deal a large burst of electro damage in an AOE. not sure if i want his skill to be a deployable or some sort of electro-infusion/boost 🤔 maybe something that involves deploying his shell to boost his damage while leaving him vulnerable, like a glass canon? though i'm not sure he'd be that sort of risk-taker... 😅 dunno! his signature weapon would totally be his tech bo though.

that's about all i can think of. thanks for reading!

[butterphii]

Just Us

Go Along (Part 4)

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TW: Fake relationship, friends to lovers, mostly fluff, sexual tension, Jake jorkin' it, Jake letting you watch him jorkin' it, reader jorkin' it for him, pet names, a little bit of ignoring, cussing, cum eating, probably some I forgot..

Note: Last time, thank you to @anyalikeslasagna for helping me so much with this series and for being my like..best friend the past month or so. Wouldn't even be writing this without you, lol. Love ya!! Enjoy, lovelies! ♡♡

-------------------Jake Peralta------------------

You woke up to the sound of your bedroom door opening. You opened one eye to check the time: 2:35 A.M. What the fuck? You thought, closing your eyes again and pretending to sleep.

Jake groaned as quietly as he could when he saw you still asleep. "Baby, wake up." He whispered from your doorway. You chose not to act like you were waking up and continue the act. You heard him sigh and step closer to you.

He picked you up carefully and slowly, moving you closer to the wall. You tried to keep a straight face when he stepped into bed behind you, curling his arms up around you. You could feel him getting harder with each breath.

"I'm sorry about last night, baby. I was being rude. I really do like you, like, a lot. I just don't want to ruin what we have, ok? I know you're asleep and can't hear me right now, but, I think I love you. You're the woman of my dreams, basically." He cleared his throat, pushing his hips into yours, his aching bulge pressing against your cheek.

You opened your eyes, pretending like you didn't hear him just confess his love for you. "Jake, what are you doing?.." You said, voice groggy even though you've been awake. "Nothing, baby. Go back to sleep. You just looked cold." He lied.

"Well I'm not. You can go if you'd like." You replied, acting like you're still angry about the night before. "Be quiet." He growled into the side of your neck, where he pressed a kiss before pushing one of his legs between yours.

Your cheeks got hot and your eyes widened. "Jake, I-" You stuttered. "Quiet, baby. Go back to bed." He whispered against the back of your ear, feeling you shiver underneath him. "O-ok.." You whispered back, trying to suppress the feeling of your core pounding with anticipation and need.

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The next morning when you woke up, you still found your body tangled with Jake's, but he was already awake. His breathing was heavy and shaky. "Good morning, Jake.." You grumbled. "Oh- Fuck, shit, shit, shit.." You heard him groan back, his voice a mix with a whimper.

"You ok?.." You asked, worried. "M-mhmph.." He tried to keep his voice at a low pitch. You turned your head and looked down to see what he was doing. You couldn't quite see it, so you turned your body, legs still wrapped around Jake.

"Oh my god." You gasped when you noticed what he was doing. He was jerking off, literally on you, because of you. "I- Fuck, I'm sorry-" He tried to grumble out, but you could tell he was reaching his breaking point.

You reached your hand down, letting your fingers rest between the bumps of his knuckles. "Can I?.." You asked softly. He nodded eagerly. His fist moved out of the way, and you could finally get a view of his size. It was a lot bigger than anything you'd seen before, but you expected it from him when you felt him get hard on you multiple times before.

Your hand moved up and down the veiny rod. You bit your bottom lip when's Jake's head leaned back, his Adam's Apple bobbing when you made him groan by using your other hand to massage his balls.

"I'm gonna cum, shit, shit-" He tried to warn you before his length spat out milky ropes of spend. You gasped when a few littered your hand, some still leaking out of the tip when you tilted Jake's head back to you and made him watch as you stuffed your fingers into your mouth, moaning when the sweet taste surrounded your tongue.

Jake leaned forward, his lips meeting yours in a glazed kiss. His tongue grazed your bottom lip, begging to be let inside, as if he had been waiting and waiting to do this forever.

Your tongues clung together, dancing in a spicy tango of sweet, heady cum and warm saliva, the two mixing together to create a perfect blend of both of your bottomless sexual desire for each other. "I've been waiting for this a long time, Jake.." You panted out between kisses. "Me too, baby, me fuckin' too." He pulled your hips to his, grinning when you moaned into his mouth when his hard dick slipped between your legs, sliding across the wet spot in your silk panties.

You smiled, one hand on his jaw and the other the back of his head, when his alarm blared. "Fuck, I have work today." Jake groaned angrily. You panted when he stepped up from the bed, tucking himself back into his boxers, slipping on his pants and picking up his shirt before pressing a warm kiss to your forehead as a 'goodbye'.

"Love you." You smiled before he walked out of your room. "Love you, too." A hearty chuckle escaped his lips as he walked down your hallway, front door clicking when he left. This time, you knew it'd be different. You knew he liked you back and you knew he'd come back. All you had to do was wait.

[gyaru-tau]

FINALLY FINISHED MY QPHIL 3.0 DESIGN HOORAY (cant wait to. redesign it again in like 3 months.) (CHECK UNDER THE CUT FOR MY SILLY DESIGN NOTES!!)

I think I said this before but i so. SO BADLY wanted him to have a sleep theme since I always loved how his presence on the island was kinda up in the air. Is it a dream? Is it not? When he goes between the island and hardcore is that change really happening? Who knows.

The idea of making his usual outfit more like a housecoat was super appealing to me, so I opted for this open housecoat look with really heavy frills which were super fun to figure out, and I knew from pretty early on that I wanted to give him a quilt pattern SOMEWHERE on his design, so I thought the inside of the coat would do nicely for a sorta "default state". It also meant I could attribute meaning to the symbols and colours I used. wink nudge.

He has a more subtle angel theme, like with the mobile on his walking stick being a halo with the wing placement further emphasizing this, as well as just his generally lighter colour scheme. When I say sleep was his theme I almost more-so imagine it as like. The feeling of waking up in the morning where you're mostly refreshed but still a LITTLE drowsy. Lots of very spring-y, morning colours.

Just some other quick notes, I always really liked the mod in the server where you could have the crows perch on your shoulder and follow cuz of the lantern, so I thought it'd be fun if I made it so brian just straight up WAS the lantern. So I made him look like one of those wall outlet nightlights!! The backpack being kinda cat shaped was COMPLETELY unintentional but a very welcome result. Missa backpack is real.

As for the alternate outfits, I have a bolas one, as well as an ender king one since I deemed those two the most important. For the ender king I weirdly don't have many notes, like it's fairly straightforward (Save for the elephant in the room but now I'm gonna keep my secrets on why that's a thing). The Quilt design is supposed to be a lighter, easier-on-the-eyes version of the no texture pattern, and I imagine that all the goop and gunk on Phil is hidden under the coat. I imagine it'd look fairly similar to canon so just like. imagine it for now. Might draw it one day. MAYBE. There's some tiny additional colour symbolism but I'll hold my tongue on that and let you guys draw your own conclusions there. I WILL say, however, that instead of his theme being sleep, his theme is "nightmare" (and also kinda sleepwalking since both fit).

The Bolas design was SUPER fun to work with. For starters I wanted the three designs to be in three different states. One with the coat, one with the coat reversed, and one without the coat entirely. Since I wanted to do the checker pattern thing with the possession design, having the sleeveless bolas design worked really well for the shape I landed on, even if it wasn't conventional. and SPEAKING of non-conventional design choices, I decided to go against the usual plague doctor + gas mask fusion design. Which might be controversial... But god. The moment I thought of his mask being a falconry hood, the idea just wouldn't leave my mind. Because of this, the full mask is kinda separated into two parts. The eye mask which kinda also mirrors his usual sleep mask, and the gas mask itself (I kept it in a beak shape since it'd feel odd if i made it any other shape for phil, lol). When designing the whole thing I kept thinking about more apocalypse setting clothing. Like mad max. Or the one gag from that one spongebob movie. Lots of leather. And of course, to match the other sleep themes, the Bolas outfit's theme is "fever dream", although its a bit more subtle. It's easily the weirdest design, The pops of green were simultaneously in reference to the friendship emerald... As well as... Well, the green chain right below the chain on the sickness themed design was probably the most tasteful way I could've chosen to get across vomit without it being too on the nose. (also sidenote, I had a few friends compare bolas phil to... a fly. Which wasn't intentional but it's kinda funny that the guy designed after fever dreams looks a little bit like a bug.) Ok thats it for design commentary I'm gonna go to bedge nyow.