#mostly bc idk if it makes sense to anybody else but me

[hirookouji]

u can tell a lot abt a person by finding out their headcanons of kuroo n daishou's relationships in middle school, high school, n college

[lucysweatslove]

Life/school updates again bc that is basically all this blog has turned into.

Dyed my hair last weekend. It’s been almost a full week. Some of it has washed out so really it’s just a little darker and more of a cool toned almost-black imo. I like it.

Since I won the VP thing, school has felt weird. I get this weird impression that some people are mad or annoyed. There are many reasons why I might be picking up on this- and idk if it’s even mad/annoyed because how tf am I supposed to know- but idk. If it IS because I won, that feels weird to me. I didn’t NOT want to win, but it’s not like I intentionally ran against the other girl in my cohort. I had no idea anybody else was running or had been nominated- and I had asked last year’s president (who was orchestrating it) to be sure. I had (and have) no intent to take away anything from anybody else. I also didn’t play dirty or anything. Like I get being disappointed if a close friend lost, but idk. If I had lost, I wouldn’t be angry or upset at anybody in particular or take out disappointment on anybody. It would just be like, yeah, more people in the class that voted chose that person. And every one of my classmates has some amazing things going for them- minus the fact that I feel less safe with some classmates than others, I don’t think anybody would do a BAD job in the role, so why be upset, you know?

Before I applied for the VP thing (before I was even nominated), I had told the MS2s that I was interested in the derm groups, but only if there was need. Like I’m interested but I was pretty clear that I don’t want to take away from anybody else. If other people are interested, let them lead. Well it turns out I’m now co-leading the derm interest group and leading the derm service learning group.

Another classmate texted me about the service learning group today. She recently shadowed a derm and liked it and wants to get more involved, both to explore and, I think, to show long-term interest in case she decides to go for derm. So I think if I can make it work, I’ll have her co-lead it too. I haven’t heard back from the current (MS2) lead though to talk to him about it.

It feels kind of weird having so many of us (10%) interested in derm. Idk if that’s the route I’m going to go for sure, but I loved working in derm, and my Autistic Special Interest (TM) is sunscreen so it fits lmao. 10% is just weird though. Though I go to a good school, matching derm is hard and few people do it. 6 people total matched derm this past match from the whole school (all like 270 of us). The prior year was also 6, but 2021 was only 2. Statistically speaking maybe one of us will match derm.

Which kinda goes back to me not wanting to take away opportunities. Something that is very hard for me: advocating for myself when it might come at the detriment of others. I feel like the girl that “doesn’t even go here” from Mean Girls sometimes. I genuinely want every one of us to succeed and match into desired specialties, and I want to support my classmates as much as possible….

The problem is that derm is hella competitive, and mostly it’s not even people who love derm. It’s people who love the lifestyle and money and “prestige” of derm and then forge connections. Or are already connected.

I have a leg up in a sense because I have connections from prior work, but they’re connections from my small “rural” state, not research connections or “big name” connections.

Which means regardless of my genuine interest (and the numbers of people from Reddit who DM me to ask about sunscreen and then tell me I should have a YT channel because of how well I can explain the concepts lmao), if I can’t force the “right” connections, I won’t match.

Then there’s the whole step 2 score issue too, which like, when you’re arguing over who to admit between a 272 and a 273, it’s just borderline ridiculous (the numbers might not mean anything to you, but those scores are somewhere in the 97-98th percentile.

Anyway, I want to be involved in things I’m interested in, and even if I don’t end up trying for derm, I still think derm is super important for a rural physician. Derms are more common where I live because we are a “recreation town” and attract a lot of derms, but out in the sticks, so wait times aren’t terrible, but it IS difficult for some patients to travel. If you are comfortable treating some of the most common derm diseases, can do a decent skin exam, and doing some of the most common derm procedures (like cryotherapy), you can improve patient outcomes for vulnerable rural populations.

Thank you for coming to my rant.

[demadogs]

Hi! So I left byler tumblr after the fiasco that was volume 2 and I just kinda came back, and I see that you and everyone seem to be back on thinking byler is 100% endgame? Can you explain me what happened, and why are people still hopeful after mike's monologue?

sure! i literally just scrolled all the way down to my posts in early july to see what we were all thinking and wow it was a rollercoaster. good call just dipping out and coming back when we were back on our bullshit lmao.

so after volume two came out i think all of our initial reaction was sadness or anger but it was also a lot of confusion. i was so beyond confused at first especially when i got to the last scene and they framed all the couples and byler like that. after looking at my first posts after volume 2 i was pretty doubtful it would happen but i kept on thinking about the closet framed kiss. that was the number one thing that kept me wondering bc WHY would they do that if hes not in the closet.

about a week later was the first time i saw something that really made me think differently and it was actually from a mlvn shippers perspective. idk if this was anybody elses true “wait a damn minute” moment but for me it totally was. it was an anon sent to a byler blog from a nonbyler shipper who was rooting for mlvn (one of the respectful, normal ones) and they were basically saying they dont understand why all the bylers are so sad thinking they got queerbaited when to them, again someone who was rooting for mlvn not byler, the fact that the monologue seemed like a copy/paste of wills speech in the van only made then lose hope in mlvn bc it didnt seem sincere. that was so wild to me.

what brought us back to confidence in byler was mostly just us stepping away from the initial shock and disappointment of the monologue and remembering all the things that originally made us confident in byler endgame. i posted this towards the end of july where i just list almost everything that i held onto, not really as sources of evidence, but just genuine questions of what the hell the purpose of all of them were if not for byler endgame. most queerbaiting is just little things they could get away with but with byler the show would have genuine plotholes if they didnt go through with it. none of mike wheelers actions post s2 make sense if hes not in the closet.

i think overall it was pretty slow to get us all back to the point of 100% certainty of byler endgame tho. now i never see anyone saying they have doubts but all summer that was basically everyones posts going back and forth and i dont blame them. i used to hate the monologue and genuienly think it was a mistake but now i think with the potential of mike getting vecna’d and called out for him lying to el, especially with “friends dont lie” being such a huge part of the show, it could pay off so well. and that one anon was right, he was basically restating what will said in the van not knowing that that was wills feelings not els. now i realize its a perfect use of the miscommunication trope.

also just the fact that the tag on here grew tremendously. i think we had around 8k before volume 2 and now we have 300k. hundreds of thousands of people didnt care enough about byler to follow it on here but after volume 2 they realized something was up? thats very telling. i think a lot of people who believed in byler before volume 2 lost hope when they saw the monologue but for people who werent byler shippers, thats the scene that made them believe it was actually happening, which is pretty interesting.

but yeah i wouldnt say there was one specific thing like an interview or script that made us all confident again, it was just slowly remembering everything from previous seasons and the reassurance that one scene does not erase all of mikes questionable actions or all of their suspicious filming choices from earlier seasons.

[seongminiz]

hehe🤭🤭 ok well it’s might be mostly repeating some of what u said cuz i went insane🥴😵‍💫😵‍💫 over the idea of wonjin writing u nastier and nastier notes so u won’t share them anymore with ur friends /pos

but i think of this as like on a college campus setting (like american college movie type of shit) but if stalker pervert wonjin became pervert boyfriend? wonjin.. and he’s got the same antics but he just goes even further with it now that he’s claimed u as his<333 is the crowd with me?

like idk like sexting u from the back of the lecture hall, sending u the nastiest things maybe he’s even gross enough to pull his cock out where he’s sitting in the last row of seats and take a pic for u<33 how sweet and then it’s driving u even crazier to know that it would take maybe 10 steps to get to him and fuck him but u can’t!!! unless…

he’d find a way to have the same lab time as u, would sit next to u at those silly rectangular shaped tables (bear with me here) but like it’s open in the middle?? like he’s fingering you under the table while the professor asks u to discuss with ur seatmates about whatever topic ur learning about but no one can see him touching u cuz of the angles BUT ur just expected to participate and ask questions while he’s knuckle deep in ur pulsing cunt??? and don’t think about staying quiet/sitting this one out, or you’ll lose ur attendance mark for that week :)

studying in the library more like getting railed in one of those private study boxes time🤭🤭 don’t worry they’re soundproof!! but there is a little window through which anyone walking by would just see ur head bobbing up as u bounce on wonjin’s cock and if it gets too heated (literally) maybe the glass will start to fog up oops! i just love the idea of a rendezvous somewhere like a library i think wonjin would also love telling u to keep quiet even whilst he’s speeding up his thrusts, would find the least visited section and fuck into you from behind, pressing u into the books, keeping his clothes on as much as possible so if someone were to walk by it might just look like he’s really helping u look for something hehe

also just wonjin being super possessive and if anyone attempted to flirt with u he would sabotage their chances but it can go one of two ways, either he finds a way to humiliate them, framing them for plagiarism whoops now they don’t even go to the same uni anymore how will they flirt with u!? or humiliating u.. i could see him scaring guys away from u by planting condoms in ur bag, kicking it over as he walks past wow now the guy hitting on u isn’t interested anymore after 30 condoms just fell out of ur purse🥲 but it’s okay, u don’t need anybody else because dating wonjin is enough excitement for one person😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

hope this wasn’t too crazy.. like in a negative way.. um also idk what came over me and why i wrote it in this style but yeah :) 👍🏻

- 🧁 anon

this was too crazy IN A POSITIVE WAY HELLO ????

wonjin whos such a sluttt for exhibitionism he always takes it a little further than the last time ☆_☆ it starts with casually putting a hand on ur thigh everytime u r sitting next to him n sending u nasty texts (n maybe ,, before going straight to dick pics ,,, just pics of his bulge bc he knowsss it drives u crazy) while u r in class , n then it just keeps getting worse (/pos) !!

just ,, omfg bf wonjin who was such a subby loser when u first started dating but the more comfortable (n possessive) he gets through ur relationship the more he takes the chance to dom u (n make u pay for all the shit u made him go through before u got together)(as if he didnt get off from it bc he liked being lowkey humiliated by u not acknowledging his existence)

this probably made no sense im sorry /(_-_)\

[ladyimaginarium]

hey sorry for just barging into ur asks randomly but i was reading the dash and saw you rebloggin a post from @\sysmemes and they are a sysmed :(

folds hands. ok. op i appreciate the concern & telling me this bc i& didnt know this earlier but like. i& dont. i& dont know what u want us& to do about that. the post specifically was about antisemitism & how ppl downplay & watering down really serious language; them being an exclus doesnt really negate that fact. like. maybe this is just my& compassion fatigue talking but like. i& may be m.ultigenic & also h.c-d.id but in the end we're& ultimately s.yscourse aligned. any system is welcome here as long as they don't bash other systems regardless of origins, fakeclaim them unless if sb has literally said they're faking or spreads misinfo on cdds. i have pro endos, endo neutrals & surprisingly enough some antiendos that follow me which is wild but. ig its just how it is. mostly bc like. i& can't find myself& to care. like. leave me& out of any nonsense bc this isnt a syscourse blog (/nay, this is us& generally speaking). i& dont know how else to tell ppl that. im&. exhausted atp. them or hell anybody potentially disagreeing w/ our& origins doesn't change anything bc we& know who we& are at the end of the day bc we're& the ones in our& head & not anyone else on this planet. idk. i hope im making sense. ty for telling me op but like. idk what u want us to do. /gen

[its-short-for-jackalope]

two emotions I experience that might not make sense at all to anybody else but I'm thinking about them and want to document my thoughts so hey u can read if u want, congrats:

springtime

basically like.. hope and new things coming and quiet excitement/eagerness to see what comes next. it's change and growth but it's gentle and doesn't cause anxiety. it's fluttery and youthful.

I feel it in my nose and my lungs mostly, like it's in the air and I can almost smell it, lol.

contrary to the name it is not dependent on the season! for example whenever I experience this I immediately am reminded of every autumn when I started a new school year (as a kid when it was still fun) ....although now that I think about it that could also be because spring/autumn are basically just mirrors, huh? okay.

summer

basically springtime but loud. more hyper? more excitement, more energy. a little wild and goofy with joy. bold and colorful.

this one lives more in the belly, I think it's the excitement. also in the limbs, makes me wanna run around a little bit. tastes like hsm2????

also not dependent on the actual season it's named after, case in point is that I started feeling this one like idk 10 minutes ago when I decided to make this post and my house is freezing bc we got another cold snap or w/e

[golbrocklovely]

in ur review of conjuring, why are u trying to say that cody and satori, or the producers, could’ve researched snc, when in reality they could’ve just told them the answers. i’ve noticed a that in your posts, you take people’s questions to heart and give paragraphs to a simple question, and usually end up kind of “blaming” the people around snc, or just holding snc on a pedestalfor no reason.

also, when amanda got answers, she said that the relatives and her last name was stuff that had never been released on the internet before, and there was no way of anybody knowing. same way that snc’s relatives’ names weren’t on the internet. not everything needs to be deeped and made into something it’s not. just stop blaming random people for stuff that has nothing to do with them

just gonna combine these together since clearly both are you, anon lol

first and foremost, you really should consider reading the entire conjuring review i did before saying things all willy nilly. bc no where in there did i say that what you said is what I believe. i said "they COULD HAVE easily" which would mean it's possible that cody and satori researched snc and their producer zach and then basically pretended to be getting the information from the great beyond. i did not say that's what i fully believe. hell i never even said exactly what i believe. i just said i don't fully trust satori and cody and then gave examples as to why they could be seen as untrustworthy.

also, your entire argument doesn't quite make sense to me. so… you think snc fed this info to satori and cody, who then pretended to know it, and snc pretended to be surprised, but amanda…… is the one telling the truth? all the info about her they just got naturally? or are you saying that snc also told satori and cody that? i just don't get what you're trying to say there.

amanda has family members online that she follows, and going down that very quick rabbit hole produces her last name. so… again, it's not hard to research ppl. especially online figures. even those that hide more of their life than post.

i didn't personally go digging for amanda's family, but others have, before anyone jumps to any conclusions on my behalf.

also… idk if you just realize this or not, but i'm a snc fan account. i'm gonna favor them over others. that's kinda the whole point. but also literally in my same review, i criticize the both of them for dumb things they did during the series. and god knows i do it often on this account outside of this series, so i don't put them on a pedestal; but i am gonna like them over most.

all of what i was saying was mostly hypotheticals or what other ppl were saying about the method/cody and satori. i don't even believe most of it anyway. i was just addressing it.

and as for the comment of "u do realize not every spirit can be seen"……. it's not a science. you don't know that to be true. i'm not claiming to be right either, but to make it sound as if i'm completely off base is a little strange. also, i was not hateful to amanda. i said it was odd that she couldn't see her dead relative but could see everyone else and that it does make it a bit easier to question her abilities. if you count that as hate, i can't imagine what you'll consider my response as.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

idk how many people would even want to see this BUT i wanna yell about Leela and Brax so here's a list of all their scenes togethr/scenes pertainng to them that i can recall (pLEASE add on if i missed anything/ you have any additional thoughts!! i could talk about these two all day!)

right off the bat in Weapon of Choice when Leela is on the outskirts of the Citadel and Brax goes to bring her back (which is interesting in and of itself, bc usually i would imagine a chancellery guard would go do that so what made Brax decide to instead??), Leela kinda goes off at him bc she's hurting and instead of trying to actually explain what's going on Brax doesn't even try to argue he just says "we need you" which is great bc Leela has that instinctive desire to be needed and to help people and he's speaking right to that -- also as far as we know, this is Leela and Brax's first actual meeting in canon? it's implied that they know of each other, which makes sense, but it doesn't seem like they've ever directly interacted before: Brax seems almost slightly uncertain, and Leela is combative, but when he's gentle with her she's actually quite receptive

the literal next scene after that, where the OT4 is all in one room for the first time (they still kinda hate each other at this point but still !!!). Narvin explaining Gryben and being a real jerk about it and Leela (understandibly!) questions if Gryben is a prison world, and Brax (who to this point has been mostly quiet as Narvin and Romana brief Leela) jumps in to both clarify Narvin's previous xenophobic statements while also maintaining the inherent questionable/negative connotations

(btw it's actually pretty important to note that Romana self-edits herself a lot when talking to Leela, especially in the earlier seasons; you can actually hear her revising the things she says to put it in terms that she thinks Leela will better understand. and i mean she does it out of genuine consideration for her friend associate but it often comes across as varying levels of patronizing. Narvin also obviously "dumbs things down" when dealing with Leela early on, but like... Brax never does that on any level. the only difference i can tell in how he addresses Leela vs how he talks to anybody else is that he seems much more kind with her than almost anyone else???)

their conversation about the Matrix in The Inquiry: this is REALLY important (and if you've ever talked to me on ao3 i've probably gone off to you about it lol) because it's layered. they're talking about the Matrix but they're also not because in answering Leela's question Brax is making a very thinly veiled allegory (which he outright states a minute later) to Time Lord society/politicians/most importantly HIMSELF -- he's actually strangely open about his morals/beliefs in this scene and i'm living for it tbh -- and i find it very interesting that even though he does directly explain what he means ("how do you know all this?" / "because i am a politician.") he also leaves it for Leela to work out the implications. like it's a very nuanced conversation bc there's double meaning in it and most people on Gallifrey seem to think that Leela is tone-deaf and can't pick up on that stuff (even Romana sometimes oversimplifies things to her) but Brax totally just lets her take from it what she will bc he believes her intelligent enough to understand. he doesn't think her any lesser because she's human.

ALSO on a secondary note to the above: the fact that Leela has a question/needed clarification (sorry, haven't listened to this in a while i forget how it actually happened) and actively sought out Brax to talk to about it?? like she knows Romana better she could have gone to her but i feel like Leela kinda imprinted on Brax and someone she can go to for help if she needs it; maybe it's partly bc she knows he's under marginally less pressure than Romana is but also the truth of the matter is that Brax was the most genuinely helpful person to her in the previous stories and that probably means a lot to her (esp. bc he acts like the essence of everything she hates about Gallifrey but he doesn't treat her the way she would expect from that). btw this topic is gonna come up again in a hot minute

that part where Brax gives her that information that might help her re: the Andred thing, even though he really probably shouldn't have done that -- it kinda makes me think about what he must have been like with Theta tbh???

actually this is mostly my own conjecture but there's some neat stuff in Spirit bc during the *waves hand vaguely* bodyswap dream sequence thing, Romana is very "!!!! Brax can help us !!!" which is tecnically Leela brain talking, so like there's the implications of the stuff i've said above about Leela having this idea of Brax where she knows he's someone she can go to for help

can u tell i'm soft for them

Leela sounding really sad/distracted when she talks about how Brax isn't there YES i'm grasping at straws but a lot of this relationship really is conveyed through the voice acting bc of how little direct focus there is on the characters. there's actually several scenes in Mindbomb where she mentions him and she outright says that she misses him during her discussion with Matthias

that implied scene with them in Mindbomb!! i have a Lot of thoughts about that!!! it's all conjecture and fanfic fodder!!! but the reason i mention this is because it seems pretty meta that out of the whole Gally Gang, it's Leela who first sees Brax when he comes back to Gallifrey and in turn she's the first person (besides Matthias, i guess) that he sees upon his return?? idk i just feel like that's somehow a meaningful detail??? also her reaction of utter shock after spending the entire episode missing him and how worked up she is when she tries to tell Romana, like I desperately need to know what happened in this missing scene MR RICHARDS PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED

Leela insisting on going with Brax when Pandora starts hurting him and their whole conversation there is just. so good. like they're both just so soft and then when Darkel comes in Leela instantly goes into protective mode. like they just have such an open relationship bc Brax doesn't even try to be all pretentious with her, like he doesn't even try to keep up any facades when he's with her he's just very genuine and it really says a lot about both of them -- Leela is so good at seeing people, like getting down to the core of who people are and what makes them them (which is why she's good for Romana, btw, bc Romana has a lot of identity issues) and Brax is so tangled up in who he presents himself as that he barely knows who he actually is anymore but Leela can see that and she makes it so he can truly be himself and he doesn't have to hide. also she's so gentle with him when they talk about Pandora, she's very caring and empathetic and wants to make sure he's okay and i am WEAK

it's been a hot while since i listened to Panacea but I think i remember Brax being really soft with Leela when he first brings the gang to the Axis, like just sounding really glad to see her

ok other than the fact that Brax is lowkey relatable in Reborn (daydreaming fanfic about yourself/people you know? simping for Mary Tamm Romana? yeah mood, my man) there's that scene where they're first appraoching the Citadel on the alt!Gallifrey and it seems like none of them, and Brax specifically, have seen it from the outside in a good long while bc he's very in awe and he tells Leela that he wishes she could see it and he sounds sO hEcKiNg sOFT oh my word-

and once again with Leela thinking of Brax as someone she trusts for help: in Dissassembled when everything is going to crap she straight-up says that she wants to go find Brax bc he'll know what to do/be able to help

at the beginning of Annihilation when Romana is depressed and questioning if Brax truly was her friend and Leela INSTANTLY, NO HESITATION assures her that he was; i lost where i had her exact lines written down but she actually kinda goes off to make sure Romana gets the point

literally forcing myself to talk about this bc it makes my brain stall out but like,,, the Brax Hound in Annihilation,,, Leela being like "goodbye, Braxiatel... again" she sounds so sad and like UGH i always kinda forget how sad it actually is for them to lose Brax in Dissassembled bc like, it was so sudden and they didn't get to say goodbye and Leela is always losing people and i have many many feels about this scene and how all that emotion is made very clear in how they each respond to the Hound (might make a separate post abt this later if anyone is interested ::eyes::)

Enemy Lines is utter bullcrap about these two and I will never stop being salty about how they not only sidelined the very good, very subtle friendship they had in s1-4, but they??? made Leela acutally not trust Brax??? when literally this entire time she's been the one person who probably genuinely trusts him the most?? what the heck, David

I haven't heard TW3 or 4 yet but i'm assuming there's nothing worthwhile in those with regards to this duo (correct me if i'm wrong tho lol, i would love to be mistaken in this assumption)

TL;DR Leela and Brax mututally imprinted on each other and have probably the most open and healthy relationship within the OT4 and it is an absolute CRIME that nobody besides Gary Russell and Justin Richards cared enough to actually build on it in canon

[1800sunaarinn]

ADULT TRIO + KNIFE PLAY

anon asks:

tw. knife play.

lordie!! knife play is one of my fav kinks to read about, it makes me go whoosh in the tummy. oof, these headcanons are my view of them, please don’t take them seriously 💀 also, word of warning, i’m not that good at writing and describing knife play! it’s a fav to read but a pain to write hehe. i definitely got more confident towards the end, 🙂.

♰ Chrollo Luclifer

i think chrollo would definitely be the most tamest when it comes to knife play, only because he doesn’t want to mark up your pretty skin with thin scars

he wouldn’t use it as a form of punishment because he tends to go all out with his punishments, and there’s no telling if he would be to control himself when in that mindset

but, i think if you do ask him to go a bit harder with the knife, he would. he respects your wishes and places your want above anything else, so there’s that.

he’ll be sweet about it, but with an underlying hint of sadism, because this is chrollo we’re talking about. he steals and kills to get what he want!!

but,,, i do think he might go against his rule of not using it as a form of punishment when you’ve really made him angry.

he won’t slash and dice at you, lololol. but he would press the knife deeper against your skin, idk tbh!!

#///:!!! +

“So pretty, baby.” Chrollo’s gray eyes had their usual warmth, watching with a small cruel twinged smile as your body reacted to the fresh, long, thin line of cut skin. The warm blood pressed against the open wound and fell down like a curtain, quickly reaching your left breast and coating it the skin.

The pain didn’t register, only tendrils of pleasure warping around your body, causing a short shudder. Warmth filled your body, and the need to be cut at again had you begging for more. “Kur, more, I need more!”

“As you wish,” And, thus started a chain of thin cuts along the top of your breasts. Each cut causing a different pleasurable sound to escape you, and each sound turning Chrollo on even more than before.

Your hands were gripping the sheets, your eyes closed shut to conceal the watering, and your jaw slacken. It were simple cuts you were receiving, small thin cuts, yet it was enough to dampen your panties. The ache between your legs became more dominant, and you tried to close your legs only to remember who were between them.

Chrollo noticed the action, grinning with sudden mischief. He began to softly drag the knife against your skin, between your breasts, down your stomach and only inches above your lacy, red silky panties. Your hips jerked upwards softly, in a silent ask to get a move on.

“Kur, come on!”

“Are you going to ask nicely?”

“Please,”

He only hummed, one hand gripping your thigh and spreading them. You only watch in anticipation as the knife is brought closer to your soft flesh, mouth watering at the thought of feeling the pinch of pain and pleasure on your sensitive thighs.

You’re not left disappointed, as the knife softly traces against your skin. The cool metal sending shivers through you, the blade softly rubbing against your skin. The slightest bit of pressure was added, breaking the skin and sending blood spilling down.

You reacted with a soft moan, eyes trained on the knife and blood. The knife moved with the same amount of pressure along your thigh, unlike last time, he doesn’t stop with a single thin cut, he continued on with the knife. Only lifting it a tiny bit before reconnecting it.

Your head had fell back then, soft whimpers leaving your throat at the continued pain in your thigh.

“Hm, pretty.” Chrollo hummed, you look up then, noticing the mirth and excitement in his eyes. “You are mine, forever, now. You know that right?”

You only nod in agreement, not registering the kanji characters that spelled out Kuroro Lucilfer. “You are mine too, right?”

The knife cuts through the skin, presenting your wet and dripping cunt to him. He pressed the flat side of the knife against your cunt lips, trailing down snd collecting your wetness on the blade. “Right,” he answered back, looking into your eyes as he placed the wet knife in his mouth, licking your arousal from it with a hum.

He chunked the knife away then, it landed perfectly in the wall, but you ignored it in favor of diving your hands into his black hair. Sharply moaning when his eagerly leaned forward and attacked your aching cunt.

It was then you actually took note of his name against your thigh.

🃏 Hisoka Morow

honestly, this clown will definitely be the most sadistic one of the three. now, now, here me out! not only does he like that you let him fight you, sex you, but you also let him mark you up?! with a knife, no less?!?!

bloodlust bc he wants to kill? we don’t know her!! all we know is that listing to see your blood running down the valley of your breasts, and ultimately him licking it up.

but,, despite his obvious eagerness to do this act with you. he would be a little worried about your blood loss, bc bitch is not letting up on the deep ass cuts, and it’s not like you’re stopping him.

you’re much as a sadistic as him, so he probably have cuts everywhere as well. but with texture surprise, you both have most of those cuts concealed. this will definitely turn into some type of power olay on who can get the most cuts and the deepest.

hisoka finds pleasure in just about anything, so it isn’t surprise when he decides to fuck you while also cutting you.

like chrollo, his name will be somewhere on your body. and your name on his body, don’t forget that!!

#///:!!! +

You pant lightly, thighs tightening just a bit around Hisoka’s thighs as the knife along your collarbone drags down in a slow and tantalizing pace. It was a deep cut that sent a small abundance of blood spilling down, running along your chest and breasts, and eventually dripping onto Hisoka’s lap. The smirk plastered on Hisoka’s lips was enough for you know to that he was only getting started, but so were you.

“My turn,” You said, a smirk of your own appearing. The bedazzled knife in your hand was cold, the blade glinting beautifully in the light. You twirl the knife a few times before teasingly dragging it against his cheek and jaw, grinning when his smirk slip.

The knife drags pass his throat, and in between his collarbones. Then, you add press and drag the knife down. Blood immediately stains his skin and chases after the knife, collecting and doubling in size.

Hisoka overexaggerates his whimpers, barely concealing his excitement.

You barely had enough time to pull your knife away before gripping your hair, pulling back and exposing your naked upper half. His own knife teasingly smoothing across your expanse of skin, grinning with bloodlust as he makes small cuts along your stomach, watching in sick satisfaction when your hips jerks.

“Ah!” You moan, having nearly forgot that his cock was buried deep within you. The sudden movement pressed his deeper, and sent waves of pleasures through your body, your cuts tingling with the sensation.

With the knife dragging against your waist and hip teasingly, back and forth, not even close to cutting the skin but enough to keep you on edge. Hisoka leaned forward and latched his mouth on your skin, tongue lapping at the blood.

Your moans reverberating around the room as your hips move at a slow pace, as his warm tongue licked along your skin, as the cool knife teasingly drags along your skin.

“M-more, Hisoka!” You urge, hands settling on his shoulders. With a single push, he fell back against the back, the knives forgotten on the floor.

Both hands on his chest, and his hands on your hips, you began to move your hips quicker, chasing an orgasm. Both of your moans created a symphony.

Your own blood dripped onto Hisoka, mixing together with his, and outlining the characters that spelled out your name.

📍Illumi Zoldyck

first and foremost,, illumi would definitely be more than happier to extract his control over you. which is mostly way he’ll be the one to have the most marks, bc, one you a bad bitch and two he not finna extract any type of control over you

you built different. nobody finna manipulate or control you, and that’s just facts. and besides, illumi is fucking sub and if anybody tells me otherwise, you’re wrong❤️. idk idk idk, this man is a sub and i’m not taking constructive criticism.

he might look bad and tough, but that’s all out the window the second he under you!! i’m telling you, this man will be so pliant in your arms it’s crazy. ofc once he actually trusts you enough to be in this situation, duh.

he will definitely have that dumb ass look in his eyes ⚫️.⚫️, and you’re like 👁^➖ “i gotchu babe.” type shit. this don’t make any sense.

idk idk idk i think when he’s comfortable enough, he will definitely start moaning and whimpering when you cut him. but, like, knife play almost never leads to sex. illumi just likes to being cut at by you—!!

he wants you to cut him a bit too deep, but you’re like not too deep because you have no idea what type of relaxes might kick in if you go too deep. one wrong move and you dead, dead as a cockroach 🤪.

#///:!!! +

You were sitting on Illumi’s lap, perfectly clothed, a small twinge of cruelty in your eyes as you twirl the knife in your fingers. Illumi was only half dressed, his pants on, his shirt missing, and his long hair spilling over his shoulders and onto the bed.

“You’re mine, yes?” You ask, twirling the knife even faster before gripping it with a small smack. You stared into his black eyes, not bothered that they were as emotionless as always.

“I am to be your husband.” He answered, a bit robotically. You were working on that, though, safely and healthy undoing years and years of conditioning seemed a bit impossible. Especially for someone like Illumi who held his family’s traditional above anything else.

“Mhm,” You hummed, placing the knife against his neck and smirking when his breath hitched slightly. You trailed the knife down his shoulder blade, along his arm and dragging the smallest hint of blood. Then with a quickness that rival his own, your hand was tangled in his hair, wrapped around your hand and you tugged harshly. The knife back his throat. “You are mine, yes?”

You briefly imagined if this was hard for him to admit, he was use to being able to have his control on others, but you proved to be different, you brought out a different side of him. Had this been anyone else, he would’ve killed them. But you were you, his fiancée, the person he trusted with his life. The only person he will ever allowed this to happen. “I am yours.”

“Good boy,” You praise, kissing his cheeks before letting go of his hair. There was the faintest hint of blush on his cheeks. The knife dragged downwards, skimming over his collarbones and down his chest, smoothed over the rigs in his stomach before back up again. Only this time, with added pressure that caused blood to immediately spill over.

He didn’t show any indication that he was in pain, or pleasure for that matter. You took that as challenge, as you always do. Right underneath his left pectoral, you began to carve your name into his skin. Deep enough to scar over and show, and you relished in the sharp intake of breath from Illumi.

“Is that your name?” He asked, and you looked up to meet his eyes, startling at the sudden fire burning in them. He was looking at you as if you were meal ready to be eaten, the sudden emotion cussing you to pause slightly.

“And, if it is?” You raised a brow, collecting yourself easily and finishing off the last character of your name.

“Then, it is only fair that I carve my name into your skin as well.” Illumi stated, and quickly, the knife was snatched for you hands and your back was meeting the soft bed. You had no time to collect yourself, your pants being tugged off, revealing your lacy panties, and his large hand on your thigh.

“Aht, aht—!” You pressed your foot to his bare chest, eyes burning with similar fire. “Ask me first, Illumi.”

“I shouldn’t have—”

“Illumi, ask me first.” Your tone left no room for arguing.

He blinked once, eyes boring into yours, seemingly trying to assert his dominance. He definitely needed some more work, his lingering controlling nature still present. But, you weren’t going to back down. Kneeling over for a man is not something you do, something your mother always told you not to do.

You raised a brow.

“May I?” He asked, his tone the same flat number it always is. You nod your consent. He goes to bring the knife closer, but you stop him again. “Thank you,”

You smirk then, “you’re welcome, pretty boy.” And you watch as his cheeks turn a small hint of pink, and as the knife began to carve his name into your soft thigh.

📍. 20/13/11.

note — oof, can you tell who my favorite in the adult trio is? i definitely gained more confidence in this towards the end. i’m not fully happy with this, but i’m confident enough to post it??

requests for one shots are closed.

thirst anon, character anon, and regular anon questions are open.

[secondhoekage]

Ignore this long rant I’m high as shit but I... can’t take the hero commission oR HONESTLY THE HEROES THEMSELVES, seriously anymore

They’re BRAINLESS they all share one (1) brain cell and it belonged to Crust. THESE GUYS had MONTHS to strategize this attack and what did they do? They fucked it up. They want me to believe this was planned and not written on a chalk board the night before? Sent out to all heroes the next morning at 8am in a CHAIN EMAIL?

Unpopular opinion(?): they sent the worst possible, ill-suited heroes to each location for this PLF raid and I’m mad at them for it and I’m mad at Hori for making me be mad at it even tho he had to do it beCauSe oF pLot but I’m mad.

The MLA’s plans to take on The League of Villains? Spotless. Chef’s kiss. The detail. The one-on-one counters they planned out. Accounting for each enemy’s quirk. Yeah there were like 6 of them to account for but?? Heroes, yall had enough info and enough time to think of ways to go about this raid and I’m supposed to believe that you did, BUT DID YOU REALLY? MONTHS TO PLAN, and saw one electric Sir Crocodile rip-off and immediately threw Kaminari on his ass. Good move. Kinda. But the rest of the PLF? Heroes just gonna make shit up as they go I guess?? 

To make myself feel better here’s a long ass useless rant on what could’ve damn happened and which heroes should’ve gone where and to make this an epic ass rumble. ugh. Even just doing some of these things would’ve made this arc (imo) feel more... convincing and delicious

under the cut tho bc damn this is too long

In this essay I will—

Edgeshot??? EDGESHOT??    EDGESHOT?? i’M GOING TO GO OFF. 

I swear to shit Edgeshot could’ve soloed the hospital but they had him at the PLF mansion for Some Reason like... like they didn’t make him run up on the League’s bar instead of the Nomu factory bc they knew he would take care of shit immediately. Make it make sense. If he was at the hospital eye just—Nomu in the way?? Doctor running off? Say less. Electric slide all the way in there Shinya. DID NO ONE SEE HOW EASILY HE HANDLED KUROGIRI? Did everyone just forget this man can pull a K.O in .3 seconds flat? Heroes didn’t think it might be a good idea to have him there, ready to give Shigaraki the paper cut of his life the second he woke up (if he even did bc my mans likely could’ve prevented the ‘doctor getting away>high-end awaken>rush to get shiggy out of the tank>shiggy wakes up’ chain of events)? Didn’t think to send him instead of this guy X Less just sitting there with That Look on his face? 

I get they needed heroes like Edgeshot at the mansion to take out a handful of enemies in one go but COME ON NOW. There were more than enough long-range AOE heroes there. And even if you don’t wanna believe he could solo then STILL, EDGESHOT DUOING WITH MIRUKO, ANYBODY? If anyone was gonna keep up with her happy ass zooming into the lab it could’ve been him. We were robbed of an Edgeshot/Miruko teamup and I’m not okay. Could’ve had a sexy ass panel of the hospital-team hyping up Miruko and Edgeshot as they dashed to Ujiko’s lab, two fast as shit bad bitches, zooming through these Nomu, absolutely obliterating them at lightning speed, watching each other’s backs too, PROBABLY SAVING MIRUKO FROM BECOMING THE PRE-DEATH ORGAN DONOR THAT SHE IS NOW. I know it was hot watching Miruko take on these high-ends but I’d have rather Edgeshot share the spotlight if it meant Miruko was in one piece rn. Hori played her

Anyways the literal dumb bitch energy that went into not sending Edgeshot to the hospital is sending me. Could’ve at least let him just be on the team and on standby while Shigaraki was waking up. With those sharp as shit reflexes of his we’ve seen? Shigaraki would’ve been out like a fucking light the second Edgeshot saw him sit up. X-Less you had a nice thicc upper lip that lip was too shaded for you to die, but F in the chat bitch. Useless plot fodder I’m sorry X-Less. There isn’t a hero there right now (besides Aizawa but like... idk, plot is nerfing him) that could’ve incapacitated Shiggy so quickly and prevented the mess they’re in now like my guy Edgeshot could’ve. Feels like a cop out

In conclusion: Edgeshot sweety I’m sorry they did this. I’m sorry you were nerfed. I’m sorry they didn’t let you deliver Kamino Pizza to this hospital. I’m sorry they ignored you and now everyone’s gonna die bc they didn’t they respect your Ninpo rights

CEMENTOSS??? y’all sent him to fuck up the mansion FOR WHAT??? If I were the hero commission and thought :

“Dang we need to completely ass blast this huge PLF resort to make room for our heroes to run in... but it would also be good if we had someone to do that at the hospital too just in case things get tricky and we need to pave a quick way to Ujiko’s secret hideout... but I’m single-celled and can’t weigh my options logically so ok. Cementoss, to the mansion.”

...................... Ok but can I in interest you in PIXIE BOB? I get the mansion is huge but going by the shit we’ve seen her do?? I’m not about to underestimate ol’ girl. I know she could’ve fucked that place up if they let her, switched her out for Cementoss, who could’ve made THE EASIEST route for the hospital team to get into the secret lab, trapped Ujiko, also trapped a couple nomu/high-ends in cement while he was at it, rearranged some tunnels for optimal tactical movement, probably could’ve done a decent-fucking-job at slowing the onslaught of Decay too if it got to that point (AND IT MIGHT NOT HAVE BC THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS RANT IS TO INSIST THAT A BETTER SELECTION OF HEROES WOULDN’T HAVE RESULTED IN SHIGGY’S CURRENT THANOS SNAP ORdEAL)

I know Pixie’s mostly on rescue operations and that’s what she’s doing at the hospital/surrounding city but WHY?? EVEN IF THEY REALLY NEEDED CEMENTOSS AT THE MANSION—WHY NOT HAVE PIXIE BOB DOING SOMETHING IN THE ACTUAL HOSPITAL BATTLE? JUST A LITTLE? The hospital is built on uh.. oh yeah... EARTH? And considering in the Forest Training arc she was using her quirk from a remote location (to make that Earth golem, or whatever) she wouldn’t even HAVE to be IN Ujiko’s lab to be useful

Can y’all PLEASE put at least ONE of your terraforming heroes at the place where y’all REALLY need them?? And not after-the-fact like y’all just did with Pixie Bob? Because clearly she didn’t do shit this last chapter trying to stop Decay. I’m sorry girl. You may be dead. Terrible.

I would have legitimately sent Snipe to get Ujiko before I sent Miruko and that’s that on that. Where is he even? He was there during the briefing but he’s gone? MIA? Idk. No way Ujiko is getting away from those bullets. Target locked: Ujiko’s hand. Fire. High-end Nomu remote goes bye bye. Then another bullet in the leg. No need to worry about him escaping and waking up high-ends/Shiggy when he doesn’t have kneecaps. Problem solved. No way it would’ve taken that long to break Shiggy’s tank either with a few well-placed pew pews zigging around some Nomu (not that we really wanna break him outta his tank bc look what happened). Snipe’s 6/5 technique stat deserves better!!!!!

Gang Orca did not go off and give a bunch of kids brain damage during the License arc to be so thoroughly ignored here. He’s clearly about to get his shit rocked by some gauged-out ex-Hot Topic employee in the next few chapters and ugh you’re TOO GOOD FOR THAT ORCA. COULD’VE BEEN OF USE AT THE HOSPITAL. PARALYZING SONIC WAVES? WE’LL TAKE IT. Who knows if any of the high-end Nomu would’ve been affected by paralysis but the small fry? Probably. Shiggy’s little twink ass? I would bet on it. Not that it would really stop him from using Decay but still

At the risk of sounding like someone I know who endorses child labor (the hero commission) here me out: CAN I GET A UHHH JUZO HONENUKI??? AGAIN YEAH good that he was at the mansion to do some long-range AOE action but if y’all are gonna force kids to join in on this war anyways, put your strongest and most useful ones at the place you need them. Shit it would’ve been real nice if Honenuki was there to trap some Nomu—uncertain if it would work against the high-ends that show some pretty flexible quirks but who knows—and even at the risk of reaching, maybe in some universe where Shiggy and Honenuki face off, it would be interesting to see Decay against Softening, since Decay’s one big weakness is that it can only work on solid objects sooOooOo? Idk. Would’ve been a cool match up but I hate that the kids are fighting anyways so we’re gonna ignore this Juzo rant. Just know it would’ve been cool

And as for the mess that’s going to be this fucking mansion soon... .. We’re just gonna ignore a whole ass Geten, big destructive power, big fucking threat, and not gonna throw Endeavor’s ass in there? Makes sense. They’re leaving it to Shoto I guess. They said time for you to fucking shine kid. Get in there. I mean really trading Endeavor for Edgeshot would’ve been top tier strategy but...

I MEAN THEY?? Made up a whole ass plan to counter ONE greasy-looking PLF guy by throwing Kaminari in there, but they couldn’t make up a plan to counter Geten? Are they just?? Pulling names out of a hat to see who gets to fight who? Did they spin a bottle to see who it landed on? Did Mt. Lady pull the short stick? I swear on shit when Geten starts going feral soon I’m not gonna feel sorry about it. Unless heroes got a plan and someone’s gonna make a sexy ass top 10 anime entrances to counter his ice then I’m disappointed. We went ape shit over Kaminari countering one of the commanders but are we not gonna get anymore ‘I’m your perfect counter and I’m here to stop you’ moments? No? I’M PISSED. 

I would have also settled for my kween Nejire being there to blast away some ice because who tf else is gonna do it? But eh. 

Dabi will also be trouble depending on what he decides to do. He only has about 3 good ideas a month and he’s used them all up by now so he’s in dumb slut territory as we speak. But you’d think that a villain as widely recognized as Dabi with such a destructive quirk would urge the heroes to have some plan to take him on but?? So far I don’t really see anyone quick to take on the role. Not that it’d be that hard bc he’s dangerous but also dangerously dumb. Where is Inasa. Maybe he can just blast the flames back in Dabi’s face. I love him but at this point he deserves to have some of his rights taken away

Don’t even get me start on Gigantomachia. I get the heroes had little choice except to attack before Shiggy was full-power but just?? NOT having a plan in case by some little chance Gigantomachia DID wake up? You stupid bastards. You absolute fools. I guess there’s not much you CAN do but FUCK y’all just gonna let him SIT THERE? No counter measures? No ‘Let’s execute this incredibly thorough and thought-out plan we’ve spent months formulating to restrain Gigantomachia in case he does end up waking up, because better safe than sorry’? When he tramples like 50 students I bet that shit gonna hurt

I hate it all. I was really happy about seeing Shiggy go off 272 bc he’s a king but after rereading from like, 258 I feel... weird. Maybe this will be resolved with more chapters but. eh. Now that I’ve thought of this, I can’t go back. I miss the brain power that was behind the MLA fight

[crickets-lovely-place]

alright so I’m relistening to Wooden Overcoats and plotting out a soulmate au that I’m writing, and I’m OBSESSED with this moment in s1e3, mostly in regards to one Georgie Crusoe. It’s at the end of Georgie’s date with Chapman, when Rudyard accuses Chapman of trying to lure Georgie over to his staff, and then an argument starts, and Antigone just wanted to watch her film, please.

Okay, and what I can’t get over is this moment for Georgie. During this conversation (full transcription under the cut) is the EXACT moment Georgie snaps regarding Chapman. Somehow I’ve never noticed it before?? Like, I thought it was funny that Georgie gets so annoyed about Chapman’s vagueness and “a long time ago”ing, that she gets so tired of him. I thought it was more of a gradual buildup thing?

And like, that’s true? She’s annoyed earlier in the ep when he “a long time ago”s at dinner, and she calls him out for it.

But it’s this moment here, at the cinema, when she snaps.

When Rudyard suggests that Chapman is trying to lure a “young impressionable girl” onto his staff, and Georgie protests that she’s not impressionable, and Chapman says “worse luck” and then won’t own up to that comment, and won’t explain it. (because I am a person who loves Eric Chapman, I think he leans more toward meaning it’s a shame he can’t get Georgie on his staff, because he thinks she’d be a valuable employee, and less toward meaning it’s a shame she’s not impressionable, but I digress)

What is it about Chapman saying “worse luck” to her declaration that she’s not impressionable (and by context can’t be lured to his staff roster) that sets her off? It’s totally justified. Georgie is smart, and capable, and if Chapman really did mean that it’s a pity she’s not impressionable, then yeah. That’s a BIG old yikes, majorly skeevy behaviour from him.

And Georgie calls it out, demands an explanation, which he doesn’t give. And she’s incredibly irritated with him for the rest of the conversation, ranging from sarcastic to incredibly cool to curt. Eric tries to save the interaction a few times (honestly it’s maybe a little gaslighty of him, he says they’re all worked up over nothing), but she is NOT having it, and she makes that clear. And then she leaves.

Anyway. I just. I want to know. Georgie doesn’t take any nonsense, ever. But she reacts SO strongly to this moment. What happened in her past? Like, who hurt her, that she’d be so suspicious of that statement? Did Nana teach her to watch out for people who would take advantage of her? Did her parents (does she have parents)? Or is Georgie just, that way? Did she cultivate this instinct in herself to stay out of bad situations and away from people she wasn’t sure of.

I’m obsessed with The Moment Georgie Crusoe Lost All Esteem For Eric Chapman.

Also, this interaction makes her animosity towards him make so much more sense to me? Like, she felt genuinely disrespected/possibly unsafe, and he did nothing to change that. And he really, really, hast to work through the next few seasons to earn back her trust and respect. Also, this makes the alley proposal somehow incredibly worse, can’t wait to listen to that again with this new knowledge.

tl;dr - Georgie SNAPS bc Chapman says something sorta shady, and I am obSESSED.

sidenote: Georgie also calls this date with Chapman an “experiment”, can we say lesbian Georgie rights?? I’m pretty sure she’s canonically only ever interested in women. Eric Chapman was her one foray into going on a date with a man and YIKES to that lol

scene: cinema, Friday night. Rudyard & Madeleine crash Georgie & Eric’s date. Antigone just wanted to watch a depressing French film. and then this conflict goes down

Georgie: Rudyard, just explain yourself.

Rudyard: Georgie, I know what he’s up to. Admit it, Chapman! Enticing a poor, impressionable young girl into your staff roster.

Georgie: *scoffs* I am not impressionable.

Eric: Worse luck.

Georgie: Excuse me?

Eric: Nothing!

Georgie: Could you repeat what you just said?

Eric: No, no, Georgie, really nothing. Should we just--

Georgie: Oh, I’m sorry, Eric, you look sad. Maybe I should hold your hand for comfort.

Rudyard: Don’t do it, it’s a trap!

Eric: Butt out of this, Rudyard!

Antigone: You can’t say that.

Rudyard: Thank you

Antigone: Butt out of this, Rudyard!

Georgie: You know what, this was a fun experiment and everything, but I think I’m done here.

Eric: Oh, sure, French films aren’t for you--

Georgie: I didn’t mean the film, Eric.

Eric: Whoa whoa whoa, look, I think we’re getting worked up over nothing here--

Antigone: God, now he’s being reasonable!

Eric: Maybe I should push her around like everybody else!

Antigone: Excuse me.

Georgie: You can’t speak to her like that!

Eric: Who the bloody hell can I speak to and how would you like me to do it?

[chaos from the movie]

E, A, G: What happened???

Rudyard: Two unicycles collided. It’s getting good, this.

Antigone: Right, in the name of Christ, can anybody not watching the film just piss off and leave me alone.

Georgie: Why not. Nana’ll be wonderin’ where I am anyway.

Eric: Oh, good point, I’ll walk you home.

Georgie: Eric. I think the date is over now, eh?

Eric: Wait, Georgie, I-- [she leaves] *inhale* You know what, I. It’s no big deal. We’re good. Antigone, Rudyard, enjoy the film. [he leaves]

idk maybe none of that was new for y’all, but I am having a REVELATION.

[eclypsd]

actually, on that note, does anybody else here (and by anybody else, i mean oc writers specifically) ever feel like their ocs have like......expiration dates? idk maybe it’s just me but i have felt, in all my years of writing dumb little ocs on this site, that people are mostly interested in your oc when they’re new and they’re something of a novelty. even if you, as the writer, feel like your oc is actually a better character later on and you have more interesting things to say about them, it doesn’t matter bc other people have already moved on and stopped caring? obviously, you can’t demand that anybody cares about your writing or your muse, and i would never care to dictate what anybody else wastes their time in the rpc doing. it’s a hobby, it’s never that deep, do whatever you want, etc. however, it’s pretty frustrating as a writer that you’re kind of just expected to...constantly start over?

i think it does speak to this community-wide habit of trends and starting over from scratch every few months and just a general short attention span? i know people jump from canon muse to canon muse as their interest fluctuates but i personally think it’s weird ocs are also held to that standard? i’ve seen people repeatedly making new ocs and leaving old ones behind every month & often it’s not even bc they’re done with the oc but because they feel like they HAVE to move onto something new. because the old thing isn’t novel anymore. there’s obviously nothing wrong with dropping an oc early on bc they’re not working or whatever but i also feel like ocs...DO require more time than canon muses. it makes sense that people jump from canon to canon bc you don’t have to build shit from scratch! and yet...i feel like people can get much further writing the same canon for years than you can with ocs. bc this whole idea of novelty just doesn’t seem to apply with canon muses????

idk if anything i’m saying makes sense but this is just something that i’ve thought about a lot. i also do want to be clear that i don’t care if people prefer to write canons. i’m not saying canons aren’t work. i don’t write canon muses bc i find it more difficult and bc i prefer writing ocs. that’s it. but i really wish that people, oc writers respectfully included, didn’t just give up on ocs after they’ve been around more than a few months. and, obviously, there are exceptions to this rule and some ppl keep ocs going for ages. i’ve done it myself, largely by focusing on my own desire to keep the character going longer than people care. but i also feel like it’s harder to do that now bc people are even less ready to engage than in the past.

[lightbows]

scrap of somethiiiing i’m working on again finally

idk if anybody cares at this point buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut it’s post rise of skywalker bc every time i think about that movie (which i did like) i am more frustrated about how it isn’t even about rey

so our space gal is looking for meaning Out There Somewhere...

----------------------

“I sense you are trying to do the impossible.”

“How so?” She sat back, regarding the monk with enough suspicion that he’d need no Whills’ instinct to detect it.

“It’s a heavy burden, a legacy.”

Rey nodded, unsure which of the loads she was presently trying to shoulder would drag her down first. “But not an impossibility. Everyone does it, in some way.”

“Everyone carries their own.” Abban flopped back on the sandstone behind him. It couldn’t be comfortable but he reclined with a stretch as contently as if hitting a feather bed. “You attempt to drag around two or three and none of them reach their destination.”

A deep breath pressed out a quick white-hot flame of anger, and the smirk on the monk’s face made it threaten to rise again. “You presume quite a lot,” she said in a clipped tone. “My legacy and theirs are one.”

“You tell me I presume,” he chuckled, kicking one leg over the other. “And then tell me I’m entirely correct. Master Skywalker, even far, far out here, your name preceeds you. Your story crosses that one you’re tangled up in, make no mistake. But the roots are far away and they’re getting all--” He made a wiggly gesture with his fingers that made Rey rather want to lop them off. “All dried up. Lucky you’re a desert plant, from what I’ve heard.”

Another person might have been speechless, while Rey was, not exactly to her credit, merely thoughtless. Words came easily enough as she shot to her feet. “You knew who I was this whole time!” Noble the words were not, a cracking edge to her voice that more recalled a complaining youth than a Jedi master. “And you play these games!”

“I like games,” he said in lieu of a defense, pulling himself upright again and scratching at his bristly shaved head. “Besides, you came here for wisdom you should be looking for in yourself. I offered what I could, which isn’t much.”

“That is a massive understatement.”

“Again, you pick out the self-serving parts of--” He interrupted himself with a short laugh and a shake of his head. “Let me tell you a story, Master Skywalker.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Oh, because you’re already here, because your ship will take a day and a half to get its wings back, because I am just a little bit charming,” he spoke with his hands though the gestures did not seem connected to any words in particular. “Take your pick.”

Rey narrowed her eyes a moment, then sat. “It’s the second one,” she said firmly.

Abban carried on—showing some wisdom after all. “I had a teacher, who had a teacher, who had a teacher--”

“I’ve only a day and a half, please remember.”

“--who came from the old traditions. The really old ones, back from the days the Jedi all but erased from their history once politics got into it. So, this teacher’s-teacher’s-teacher—let’s call him Master Anyu. He was from the homeworld. He lived and worked and taught at the temples, just like generations before him as far back as anyone could remember. When he was a child, they always told him he didn’t have the gift.”

“The Force?”

“The Force, the Whills’ instincts, the ability to walk and talk at the same time. You name it. He was a clumsy kid who had a hard time learning, from a time and place that didn’t have either the means or the desire or either to give him a boost.”

“But he became a Master.”

“He became a Master.”

Rey rubbed her eyes, patience dwindling yet again. “Am I meant to be inspired?”

“Not really,” Abban said with a sigh. “He rose through the stages slowly and got there by sheer endurance, and was one of hundreds. Then he raised a generation that watched their home and spiritual centers stolen from beneath them and destroyed.” He smiled at Rey’s bewildered expression, which only made her more confused. “And I’m two generations removed from that.”

“But you know his name.”

“And now you do too.” He shrugged. “Is that a legacy? I don’t know. It’s a story. He wasn’t the first or the last or the greatest. He’s a man who lived a long time so his name was said a lot, and now I’m saying it again. Longevity isn’t worthiness though, you know? Not to speak ill of the man, but there’s next to nothing we know about the Guardians who came after him, who fought and died defending what he simply carried from one wing of the world to the other.”

“But his legacy is that those Guardians existed,” Rey murmured, eyes gazing past Abban down the long hallway of those who came before him. “They come from him, and your teachers come from them, and--”

“Master Skywalker, we respect our ancestors here, those in our blood and those in our memory. You do not need to preach to me about where I come from.” His tone was lighthearted, amused even, despite--or maybe because of--Rey’s immediate look of chagrin. “We remember where we came from but we do not try to use that path as a map. It only goes one way. You cannot finish someone else’s story. It is already finished, whether you liked the ending or not.”

The words struck her with a great force and she looked away, off to the horizon where a moon she hadn’t noticed before was beginning to poke its greenish-silver head over the hills. “What about our story?” She asked haltingly, at long last deferring to the wisdom she had, at least in name, come here to find. “The universal story—all of us creatures, together in the Force.”

“Asking the right questions is a good first step, Master Skywalker.” He drummed his fingers on his knee a moment, thinking. “So, what about it indeed? Surely you don’t think you have to write that story yourself.” Rey’s hesitation was heavy enough to compell the monk to simply step over it. “Or is it that you’re upset you can’t?”

The question itself wasn’t so bad, but Abban’s amused tone was enough to set Rey’s teeth on edge once more. “I am—I am simply looking for my place in all of this.”

“To give it to you straight,” he said, one eyebrow lifting. “It would be easier to believe that if you weren’t wearing two or three cloaks’ worth of borrowed identities...Master Skywalker.”

With that she was on her feet again, this time whirling around and storming towards her speeder without hesitation. The presumptuous fool, she fumed, thoughts loud enough that she wasn’t sure how much was internal and how much aloud. Luckily the rickety engine drowned out whatever uncharitable goodbye she may have had for Abban as she sped away once more, the grind of old gears and the miniature sandstorm in her wake a familiar lullaby for her anger.

The notion of circling back to the city, where Abban’s fellow monks would be waiting with further wisdom was unbearable, so she found herself reverting to certain old habits, turning the vehicle toward the emptiest expanse of sand imaginable and driving as far as she dared. It was the kind of thing that used to have the dual purpose of clearing her head and possibly leading to a profit, some abandoned craft deep in the wasteland of an entirely different desert that might have paid for a meal or two. Now it was to avoid the food and warmth and company that waited in the other direction—still a meditation of sorts.

Settling into a glide around a dune, with the knowledge she’d soon need to circle back, it would have been easy for another person to miss: the mostly constant, fuzzy sound of sand whipping beneath repulsorlifts gradually grew less steady, the sound of stone pinging off the lower hull breaking through Rey’s thoughts. No—not stone. Rey slowed, lowering one boot to the ground, and was immediately greeted with another crunch. Glass—real glass, not transparisteel. More and more of it, as if she’d suddenly driven over only the narrowest edge of an enormous shattered mirror, stretching to the horizon and beyond. And then, hitting even harder than the sound, the feeling up ahead, the sense of enormous tragedy sealed inside a horrible glittering cage.

[alethiometry]

How are you liking AC Valhalla so far? Any characters you love? Any characters you hate? Is there anyone as sexy as Brasidas?

hiiii thank you for asking!! i’m going to keep this as spoiler-free as possible.

i’m really liking it so far! i have my gripes about gameplay mechanics and the buggy launch, but at this point i have either grown used to them or am happily experiencing stockholm syndrome and am just enjoying the game for what it is (and hoping the stuff that needs patching gets patched soon).

here are some things i love:

the voice acting is so good. SO GOOD!!!

eivor! she stands out among the protags of other ac games i’ve played because she always has this community about her. she’s a loved and respected leader to her people, they’re always happy to see her return to the settlement, she’s got her crew to back her up at a moment’s notice, there’s always portions of the main quests where she has companions fighting beside her.

basically all the other characters in ravensthorpe! they’re a fun bunch and a loving community and they have their quirks and i love hanging out with all of them. petra in particular is an absolute sweetheart and not a day goes by where i don’t feel awful for breaking up with her bc my goblin brain decided “lol i want to fuck my stepbrother’s wife who looks like kassandra in sweatpants”

HYTHAM IS A SWEETHEART. we love an assassin who is also, to use 2012 lingo, a pure and sweet cinnamon roll, too perfect for this world.

petting dogs and cats!

how dynamic the settlement is. every time i go back there’s something new and interesting happening, whether it’s a new sidequest an npc wants me to help out with, or a dispute between neighbors, or new dialogue with npcs i repeatedly interact with. i love having a home base that i can upgrade and that i want to spend time in.

the minigames! orlog is fun and frustrating but mostly fun, and the drinking contest is AWESOME.

quick-time assassinations for higher-level enemies! it’s a good balance between the old games where you could just indiscriminately kill fucking anybody in one overpowered hit, and odyssey where you had to either stack your assassination damage to get that sweet OHKO, or straight up fight the polemarchs.

the relationship between eivor and sigurd. i’m only about 40-50% of the way through the game so i’ve only seen a bit of it, but as someone who generally gravitates towards sibling narratives (i.e. odyssey, fullmetal alchemist, and way too many of my prime years wasted on supernatural) i really love their dynamic. i think it was an excellent idea to have that become one of eivor’s central narratives from the very beginning of the game. also, i get to fuck his wife.

(forces through gritted teeth) the... modern... day. i HATED layla in odyssey, to the point where i don’t even remember what happened in the modern story at all because every playthrough except for my very first one i simply mashed the skip button until i got back in the goddamn animus.. and i do not remember a single thing she did in origins. and maybe it says more about me than anything else that i wasn’t able to care about her until ubisoft (finally!!!!) brought back shaun and rebecca to make me care, but... this is the closest the modern day has felt to the desmond games, and there’s post-odyssey continuity with layla’s struggle as the keeper of the staff or whatever, and i really like it!

when you hover over different things in the map, the sound effects change. you get chanting music when you hover over monasteries, and ocean noises when you hover over the ocean! IT’S SUPER NEAT.

taking damage when you swim in the cold cold waters of norway made me chuckle. i can see how it might get annoying, but it doesn’t really bother me that much and it’s not that much damage.

THE SOUNDTRACK GIVES ME CHILLS IT IS SO GODDAMN GOOD

things i’m ambivalent about:

fall damage? i’m peeved that it’s back, but it makes sense. i do love that the breakfall skill makes it so that the most damage i’ve ever gotten from taking a long fall is like... 5 hp lmao

kill animations. they’re really cool and i love seeing what new fun way eivor has to brutally murder her enemies. on the other hand, the shift in camera angle can be annoying in the middle of a massive battle, and if there’s an object in the way of the very specific camera angle then sometimes i can’t see the animation at all and have to just stare at some wood/stone texture for like 10 seconds.

environment puzzles. sometimes they’re fun but sometimes i’m too damn tired to try and figure out the 3895th way to break into a locked building.

side quests world events. they’re fun but also seem largely... pointless? i wish we had one or two longer sidequests; some of my favorite moments in odyssey were on long sidequests like mykonos or the battle of 100 hands. i feel like this was a reactionary mechanic to people complaining that odyssey had “too many” sidequests or something idk.

tattoo parkour. i would like it more if eivor didn’t feel so “sticky” if that makes sense. i like the return of parkour puzzles, and i like collecting tattoos (the tattoo shop is always the first place i visit when i return to ravensthorpe), but the parkour in the game often feels quite clunky.

social stealth. another excellent idea that they brought back, but executed clumsily. i just don’t understand how it works, or, more importantly, why it’s even necessary in the first place. but it’s also easy to ignore, so whatever.

animus glitch platform puzzles. they’re super cool but for some reason give me massive anxiety.

things i don’t love:

some combat mechanics, like having a stamina bar and losing adrenaline when you get hit. i’m not here for any of that *~*~sO gRiTtY aNd rEaLiStIc~*~* bullshit. i just want to have fun and hack shit up.

that motherfucking god damn terrible fucking skill tree/map/web. who the FUCK thought it was a good idea??? the incremental changes between the big nodes feel kind of meaningless, and it’s very difficult to see the (completely arbitrary) progression towards the big nodes because they’re pathed out on SKINNY WHITE FUCKING LINES

synin got nerfed real bad :(

dag is a massive chode. and not even in a fun way, like stentor was in odyssey.

don’t really care for ivarr either if i’m being honest.

i do not give a single shit about fantasy asgard, and i’m kind of peeved that i apparently have to finish that arc in order to finish the game. (i didn’t like the atlantis dlc in odyssey either—a couple hades sidequests notwithstanding—so go figure.)

congratulations on reading this far if you actually bothered to do that! i don’t think any game will top odyssey for me in terms of setting/storyline/general vibes. but valhalla is a great, solid game in its own right.

no npc will EVER be as sexy as brasidas, but eivor is definitely sexier. she and kassandra and aya hold the 3-way title of Sexiest Assassin’s Creed Characters But Not In Like A Creepy Incel Gamer Way.

[selfcareparker]

okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!

also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)

the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓

you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(

now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol

OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY

PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha

LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ

now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)

(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓

me reading this:

also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺

i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg

yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao

and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰

Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs

I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it

GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG

^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film

I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)

47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)

oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀

and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)

++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌

[datingdonovan]

oh no everyone @hausofwax​ tagged me to make a bingo.... everyone im SORRY lol this is very bad looking bc im lazy and also im so verbose that should've been one of the squares lol thank you though because this was so fun to try to think up traits lol!!!! feels weird like do i even know myself at 4am??? a little distressing but mostly fun

tagging @yeetthedragon​ @rosethorne921​ @emullz​ @kaspbrakeddie​ @ughkaspbrak​ and oh whoever else wants to do it just say i tagged you lol i’d love to see if anybody relates to any of this randomness??? some of them are just things i say like they dont even make any sense lol just interpret them idk. anyways omg much love to you all <3

blank bingo below!!