#most of what i write is just the frustrations of my life that stem from capitalism

[silasthecreature]

One day I'll crawl out

From the system that I was planted into the very day I was born

Made to grow into, roots digging deeper

Until I pull out every fiber of my being

One day I'll move far away from there

From everything I've ever known

I'll settle down in the woods in an old house

With herding dogs and houseplants

Drinking tea on my porch in the morning

One day I'll let myself be exhausted

From the mud i trudge through every day

I'll curl up on the floor like an old dog

Rest my head on my paws

And let sleep consume me like a black hole

[wisteriaw0rld]

Hello I just started following you and I love the way you write! I was hoping you could do a sanario where the Kamaboko squad plus muichiro with a reader that is the sister of kyojuro. I want to see a protective kyojuro that doesn't want his little sister dating. Thank you in advance!🙂❤️

-ˋˏ ༻protective༺ ˎˊ- kny x reader

✰synopsis: the kamaboko squad + mui with an s/o that is the flame pillars younger sister. Unluckily for them, kyojuro is quite protective of his little sister.

✰additional tags: fem! reader, readers the younger sister of kyojuro, mentioned to be a pillar in muichiro’s part, protective older brother, fluff, headcanons + oneshot

✰character order: kamado tanjiro, agatsuma zenitsu, hashibira inosuke, shinazugawa genya, tokito muichiro

“i believe in free love and that’s just how i feel.” -Lana Del Rey

˚ʚkamado tanjiroɞ˚

❥kyojuro trusts tanjiro. With his life, at that. But with you? That’s a whole other story.

♥the flame pillar has explained to you multiple times that you’re too young to be dating. Especially when even he himself hasn’t started dating anyone!

❥he knows tanjiro would never do anything to hurt you but that doesn’t mean kyojuros going to lower his guard and not be protective of you. Needless to say tanjiro quickly gets nervous whenever he see’s kyojuro.

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“Where did you say you were taking her, again?” Kyojuro asks, leaning down towards the smaller male in front of him as tanjiro only nervously scratched the back of his head.

“u-uhm, to the new restaurant nearby..” tanjiro muttered as kyojuro then stood up fully and walked away from tanjiro, leaving the maroon haired boy to stand there confused.

Due to how much pressure he had unintentionally put on the flowers stems, they began looking down as if sad. Tanjiro then watched as Kyojuro then walked into the family house, heading to your room.

“Y/n, I told you you’re too young to date!” Rengoku complained while grabbing your shoulders and shaking you gently while you laughed at his reaction.

“It’s only Tanjiro. You know how kind he is.” You smiled at your brother, blushing slightly at the thought of your date. Kyojuro only whined more, explaining that you were too young to date.

He most definitely dragged Mitsuri to spy on the two of you while he sulked the whole time while Mitsuri gushed, almost fainting while yelling out, “young love!”

❦taisho secret❦: kyojuro definitely thought that you had chosen such a nice person to be your lover but he couldn’t admit that his younger sister had a boyfriend already and was growing up so quickly.

˚ʚagatsuma zenitsuɞ˚

❥yeah, good luck ever convincing your older brother that you should be with zenitsu. He’s seen how perverted they boy can act at times.

♥both you and zenitsu have to be secretive about your relationship or you’ll get a lot of scolding from Kyojuro as he explains that you’re too young to be dating. Especially someone like zenitsu.

❥but even before when you’ve never showed any interest towards others, he’s always given you the talk, telling you you’re too young to be with someone.

♥if he were to ever find out you’re dating zenitsu, he’ll definitely double the time of these talks and will even add that as a young girl, you shouldn’t let any male take advantage of you.

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“No, I don’t like that one.”

“But it’s my best kimono! And last time I wore it you said you liked it.” You sighed, frustrated as Kyojuro once again instructed you to change kimono’s before leaving on your date with Zenitsu.

Your room floor was littered with multiple Kimono’s. All the ones you tried on but couldn’t wear as Kyojuro repeatedly told you he didn’t like them. You groaned before once again walking over to your wardrobe as Kyojuro closed the shoji door.

You cringed, seeing only one Kimono left. A plain white one with no decorations. A frown graced your lips as you knew what kyojuro really wanted. You closed your wardrobe, walking over to your full body mirror as you looked at yourself in the kimono you were currently wearing. It was your best one. So, you refused to change.

A sudden knock was heard at the front door, making you smile. You had already done your makeup and your hair. You were ready just on time. You quickly walked out the room. “I’ll get it!” You yelled out, putting a beautiful hairpin in your hair before running out of your room.

That was until you were stopped by an arm moving in front of you. “I told you not that one.” Kyojuro frowned, making you laugh at his desperate attempt to make you change into a plain kimono.

“but-”

“Alright, you don’t have to change, but let me answer the door.” Kyojuro informed you confidently before walking over to the door.

You crossed your arms, already having a feeling of knowing what he was going to do. “Y/n’s not home.” Kyojuro spoke, not even giving Zenitsu time to say anything.

“kyojuro.” You spoke out, the flame pillars eyes widening as he knew he’d been caught. He mumbled a ‘dang it’ before moving out of the way to let you outside with the yellow-haired boy.

Your eyes softened and you gave a gentle smile at Zenitsu before grabbing the bouquet from his hands and kissing his cheek, making his face go pink.

“You look to pretty, Y/n!” Zenitsu yelled cheerfully before grabbing your hand to rush off to the festival you two would be going to together.

Kyojuro sighed sadly before closing the door to sulk inside at the thought of his younger sister being with someone.

❦taisho secret❦: kyojuro knows about how kindly and sweetly zenitsu treats you. He’s seen how much of a gentleman the young boy can be but he still tells you he doesn’t trust you dating him. Deep down he knows otherwise. You’re practically perfect for each other.

˚ʚhashibira inosukeɞ˚

❥kyojuro doesn’t worry as much about inosuke breaking your heart. He worries more about the fact inosuke might physically hurt by complete accident.

♥the flame pillar has first-hand seen how unintentionally harsh inosuke can be at times. But he doesn’t know himself just how different inosuke is when he’s around you.

❥your older brother is protective and of course he tries to see what the two of you are up to sometimes. But every time he tries to look for you, the both of you are already gone and already all over the place.

♥so for that reason, he doesn’t see how inosuke treats you when the two of you are alone.

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“Y/n, how did you get this scar?”

“Kyo…I’ve had that for a year already. So it wasn’t Inosuke if that’s what you’re thinking.” You sighed, face palming as Kyojuro sheepishly smiled.

“I know Inosuke can be rough at times but that doesn’t mean he’s like that with me.” You reassured your brother, earning a nod from him in response. “Now, I promised Inosuke that I’d meet up with him later.” You smiled before hugging your brother and running off.

Kyojuro turned around to head back inside before seeing a small but neatly wrapped present with a bow on it. He grabbed it before realizing it was meant for Inosuke. And of course, you’d forgotten it.

The pillar immediately chased after you and by the way you were calling for the other males name, it made it easy for him to track you down.

Just as he was about to approach you, he suddenly saw Inosuke sneak up behind you with a smirk on his face.

You felt a pair of arms wrap around you before suddenly lifting you up from behind. You let out a yelp of shock as Inosuke twirled in the air before finally setting you down.

A laugh left your lips as you then cupped Inosuke’s cheeks, planting a short kiss on his lips. “Hmph.” Kyojuro huffed before walking off, completely forgetting about dropping off the gift you left behind.

❦taisho secret❦: inosuke, from the corner of his eye, saw kyojuro standing there and waiting to approach you. When he saw the flame pillar walk off, he laughed and for an odd reason, took pride in the fact he was able to “scare off” a hashira. Yeah. “Scare off.”

˚ʚshinazugawa genyaɞ˚

❥kyojuro doesn’t know much, or more so anything about Genya, just that you love him. But the very moment he finds out he’s the brother of the ill-mannered wind pillar, he’s so quick to become skeptical.

♥he’s never met Genya personally and he trusted you enough to go on two dates with the boy before he met him, but once he hears the boys last name is shinazugawa, he immediately asks you if he can meet him.

❥genya already gets nervous enough when he’s around you so when you told him your older brother, a hashira at that, wanted to meet him, he was slowly dying on the inside.

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Genya sat seiza style, staring at the flame pillar right in front of him. Beads of sweat were dripping down genya’s forehead as he thought of what to say. He wished you were there. Hell, even from your own room you were able to sense the awkwardness. If anything, you wished you were there.

You do badly felt like leaving your room and going over there to start a conversation for them but Kyojuro had so politely asked you to stay in your room. A long and dramatic sigh left you as you thought of what to do to pass time…

Eventually, you had fallen asleep. Only to wake up moments later to loud chattering. Curiously, you peeled your head out the door.

Shockingly, Kyojuro and Genya had been happily chatting away. Kyojuro had long forgotten this was the brother of someone so rude. And Genya had long forgotten this was pillar he was talking to. This was his lovers older sibling that he was talking to.

You smiled but instead of intervening, you retreated back to your room to let the two enjoy their time together.

❦taisho secret❦: because of the long awkward silence and the scary aura kyojuro was emitting, genya felt the need to speak up first. So the conversation had oh so conveniently started by genya asking what kyojuro’s favorite food was. It then ended up into a really long conversation about various topics.

˚ʚtokito muichiroɞ˚

❥ Kyojuro had no reason to dislike his fellow pillar, Muichiro. Up until he found out the two of you had began dating. It wasn’t even Muichiro’s fault. Your older brother had simply hated the idea of you dating anyone.

♥just because kyojuro knows the youngest hashira well doesn’t mean he trusts him with you. Especially with the harsh attitude the mist pillar has. He’s afraid you’ll easily get hurt by him.

❥while he’s protective of you and doesn’t want you dating, Kyojuro can’t deny the fact he finds it cute that Muichiro’s eyes only sparkle when they’re on you or when he’s with you.

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Kyojuro sat in your pillar estate as you were getting ready in your room. Muichiro had asked you earlier if he could come pick you up to take you somewhere as a surprise. Of course you agreed, curious as to where your boyfriend planned on taking you. When you told your older brother he insisted on coming over to your estate which you were fine with.

A few short hesitant knocks were heard at your estate door, making kyojuro snap out of a small trance. “Kyo, can you get that? It must be ‘chiro!” You yelled out from your room, fixing your kimono once more before you left for your date.

Kyojuro stood up from his seat, walking over to the door. Opening it, he found Muichiro, dressed in a yukata which the flame pillar quickly recognized as the one Muichiro wore on his first date with you.

Conveniently, Kyojuro immediately thought the worst. Muichiro had a bouquet in one hand and a box of chocolates in the other hand.

The flame pillars first thought was that the young boy had maybe come to apologize for something drastic. “Why are you dressed all fancy?” Kyojuro asked, inspecting Muichiro as he only tilted his head.

“Well…I want to ask your sister if I can be her boyfriend.” Muichiro responded bluntly as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“But…You’re already dating her..”

“really?” Muichiro questioned, his eyes sparkling for a quick second.

“Actually-” Kyojuro thought about it. Maybe if he played his cards right it’d be like the two of you never dated. But then you’d think your boyfriend stood you up. He frowned. “Yes.” He sighed.

The moment Muichiro saw you exit your room in your beautiful kimono, Kyojuro’s words quickly left the boys mind.

“Mui!” You cheered before pulling the boy into a hug before kissing his cheeks softly. Muichiro’s stoic face remained but a red hue covered his cheeks.

“Y/n, will you be my mine..?”

…

“Love…We’re already dating…”

❦taisho secret❦: the reason you weren’t exactly shocked when Muichiro asked you to be his girlfriend was because it’s happened before. Three times, actually. And each time he gets really excited at the thought of you two dating even though you already have been dating for almost a year.

[alexandraisyes]

What would happen if you were a writer for TSAMS?

I mean we'll never know unless we try, however-

God the temptation to make jokes about shipping ajfsdkg;ljfasd;l

In all seriousness I'm good at finding and fixing plot holes and writing consistent storylines. I've been writing solo for years, and recently I've been co-writing fics for this fandom. And stars I'll say it now, obviously I wouldn't drag fan ships into the canon lore, that would be stupid considering most of them just wouldn't work with canon.

If I had the chance to write for TSAMS I would definitely try to influence the way certain things (specifically things like mental disorders) are portrayed, because I understand being part of the audience and the frustration of only seeing part of the story and missing an entire important perspective. I personally find so much enjoyment in that because I get to tear everything apart, dissect it, and put it back together so the fandom can understand what the story is portraying, but the fact that someone is required to tear it apart to get what should have been an obvious message most of the time is an issue, in my opinion.

A consistent problem I've noticed with TSAMS is that it's overly omnipotent on some things while being too closed about others. This is a narrative problem that stems from not having enough time to figure out the best approach for new situations they want to incorporate. This is because the writers/VAs are so bogged down by personal projects, stream schedules, their servers, life, etc that they just don't have time to figure these things out. Especially when the company is pushing for more content/lore episodes and they're just a team of four. Four very very busy individuals that have to write AND voice act the entire cast of characters. I feel like having someone who is just a writer would help with a lot of the inconsistency and unresolved plot holes.

There's a lot of strong potential for things that would stem back as far as two years that would be so interesting to see incorporated, but they just don't have the time to work through those and it's easier to keep jumping on new boats and abandoning the ones they have to sink because of unresolved tears in the plot letting more inconsistencies trickle in like so much water. So I would absolutely work to correct those and clean up the holes and resolve unanswered questions.

I'd also push for more consistent characterization, or rather better worded, deeper characterization. Not that they don't have good characterization now, overall I think they do a decent job, but there are just some things that I wish they'd touch on more. Likes, dislikes, disorders, complications, relationships, etc. What really makes up these characters; I'd probably end up with a complicated character web for the main cast at the very least to help with consistent storytelling. I do this with my own AUs to keep characters consistent, including quirks (For example Solar Flare always refers to people by their full name in my writing). It would also be interesting to dig deeper into what makes the characters them. Their personalities, beliefs, interests, morality/standards (for those without morals), and what they did and didn't find traumatic (as well as what level of trauma).

God even just the thought of how I could potentially fix the dumpster fire (/affectionate /positive) of TSAMS and co is a little exciting because there's just so much potential lying around untampered with that I would happily dig my grubby little claws into.

[myfairkatiecat]

NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE, BUT i HATE KEEFE SO SO MUCH AND IM WONDERING (GENUINELY) WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT HIM BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE THE APPEAL

ALSO YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER THIS IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE OR BUGS YOU SORRY IF IT DOES EITHER/BOTH

Hey anon! Those are some strong feelings you've got there!

This is a tricky question to answer since a lot of the things that make me like Keefe's character make some people dislike his character, so you might be about to get a list of all the things you despise about him by asking me what I like about him. I like him because I think he's a good character, and way better written than people give him (or Shannon) credit for. I don't always love Wattpad Fanon Keefe (perfect boyfriend, super sweet, always says the right thing) because it erases so much of his character. I like canon Keefe. He's a raw character with a lot going on and a whole slew of well-developed character traits.

Before I jump into this post, however, I want to say one thing: I think a lot of people who dislike Keefe are mostly frustrated with Shannon's portrayal of his character flaws, and I don't think they give Shannon enough credit for the way she's intentionally written Sophie as an unreliable narrator. It's rather clear during different parts of the series that Sophie isn't the most reliable narrator, and Shannon also explicitly writes in the margins of her annotated KOTLC book that she used a certain scene as an example of when Keefe takes his jokes too far. Sophie forgives him without even an outright apology in that scene, but Shannon makes it clear in her annotations that she, the author, isn't writing it off. I don't own the annotated so I can't remember the exact quote, but it's my biggest case for why I think Shannon has intentionally written Keefe with these character flaws, as character flaws, and yes, Shannon sees them as character flaws and has said so, so for the purposes of this ask response here, let's assume Shannon Messenger is aware she's writing a flawed character, because I do think it's rather unfair to her how often the people of the fandom accuse her of brushing by Keefe's actions when in reality she's just writing Sophie Foster as true to her character as she can.

With that, let's jump into this little essay about Why Keefe Is An Awesome Character And I Love Him that I've writtten for you!

My AP English teacher always used to say, "characters are more human than humans." I believe the purpose of this quote was that well-written characters exemplify what makes us human—our love, our experiences, our regret, our strengths and flaws—in ways that connect strongly to the audience. Part of the reason so many people like Keefe's character, I believe, is because they are able to connect strongly to him. This is because he is written as "more human than humans," as my AP English teacher would say—even though technically, he's not a human, but an elf.

One major strong point of Keefe Sencen's character is that his strengths and weaknesses are often wrapped up in the same character traits. This is something that is true for many people. For example, my politeness in real life social situations makes me a lot of friends, but too often can turn to people-pleasing. A good character, in my opinion, should have both strengths and flaws stemming from all of their major character traits. Here are a few of Keefe's:

His humor

One major aspect of Keefe's character is his humor. Whether you personally find it funny or not (I think I found it a little funnier when I was eleven... I'm sorta growing out of some of it, though his wittier comments in the latest books are more my style, which might be a sign of both me and the character maturing) it's an enormous part of his character. As a major character trait, it presents both strengths and flaws.

Often, he brings levity to heavy situations that the other characters appreciate. One instance I remember is in Flashback. They were preparing for a confrontation, and I don't remember what it was that Keefe said, but Sophie narrates that she appreciated the moment of comedic relief, because it eased some of her anxiety. Keefe is able to take intense moments and settle them with quick-witted (or hilariously not funny) comments. This is likely a skill he adopted in order to handle the crushing pressure of being in his own home as a kid. (Fitz, contrastingly, adapted the skill of just holding lots and lots of weight, bending and bending and bending until he finally breaks. Not to make my Keefe essay about Fitz, of course, but I know someone is going to point out that Fitz also dealt with a lot of pressure at home, and wanted to point out that he developed somewhat unhealthy coping mechanisms as well, they're just different from Keefe's.)

However, sometimes his jokes are unwanted or go too far. Shannon comments on this specifically at the end of the first book, where Keefe makes a joke about how he helped save her when she almost died, and then sorta trailed of when he realized he was talking about her almost-death. Shannon commented in the margins that this was a moment of Keefe experiencing awareness that his joking has gone a little too far. She hasn't released annotated editions of any later books, but I'm confident that at least a few other scenes are examples of this as well. Sometimes I run across them during a read through and I'm like "huh, it's interesting to have a good idea as to what Shannon was thinking writing this." Sometimes, his constant making light of serious situations really isn't funny to anyone, and it keeps him from accepting the gravity of what they're doing, likely contributing to his reckless behavior.

2. His intuitive communication

Something to notice about Keefe is that even though he's often socially unaware, either in ways that indicate his childhood trauma or just his emotionally immaturity as a teenager, he's very good at knowing exactly what to say for his intended goal. That intended goal isn't always necessarily something he should want, mind you—we just talked about how his need to lighten the mood sometimes causes problems, and he knows enough about some of his friends (cough Fitz cough) to know exactly what words will hurt them the most in an argument as well.

This can be a strength for him, especially when he's comforting Sophie. Since he can feel her emotions instinctively, he often knows exactly what she needs to hear. He's actually incredibly sweet at times, especially in Legacy (I mean... there are other issues there, which I'll get into another time). For example, when he's telling her the reasons Bronte isn't the worst possible father for her to have. There's nothing inherently great about the specific way he comforted her, but it did ease some of Sophie's queasiness, because he knew what she needed to hear. Also, there are the scenes in Legacy where he's telling her that Sophie Foster is all she needs to be, or the scene in Everblaze where he reminds her that no matter who her parents are, she's still going to be exactly the same person she is, and they can't change her. Keefe is really good at knowing the right thing to say. (This might have stemmed from walking on eggshells his entire life aroud his parents!)

However, this also makes it really easy for Keefe to be manipulative, or lie, or say the completely wrong thing on purpose. The best example of the first two was when he somehow convinced everyone in just a few sentences that he totally wasn't going to go to Loamnore with them. Somehow, the guy famous for not doing what he's told convinced everyone he was going to do what he was told, and the thing is, it wasn't even unrealistic. He gave really good reasons that it made sense for him to stay back, and even made jokes about it, about how he and the others not going were "too cool for Loamnore." He had everyone convinced he really wasn't going to be reckless this time, when he totally knew his plan the whole time. The famous Unlocked healing center scene is a great example of the last one, because Keefe got upset with Fitz and knew exactly what to say to make him the most upset and embarassed in that situation. He only even took back the words when Sophie became upset as well. He and Fitz are in... not an awesome place in the latest books, and his POV reflects that.

3. His courage

Let's be honest. Is Keefe a runner? Yes. But when he runs, is he running from a fight? Nope. Never. One of the major instances of this guy running away actually put himself in a ton of danger. He doesn't run for cover, or safety. He runs usually out of fear of himself, his relationships, or that he isn't able to help in any other way. If we really look at his character, Keefe is incredibly brave. All of the KOTLC main cast is. They've got guts. But a lot of the others have a more guarded sort of courage, while Keefe's is... well. Not guarded.

Keefe doesn't think things through, and sometimes, there isn't time for that. Sometimes, immediate action is necessary, and Keefe is great with that. Quick, in-the-moment plans are his specialty. He's not afraid to stand up to people who want to hurt him (*cough* Dimitar scene *cough*).

But he's also extremely reckless (*cough* Dimitar scene *cough*). Because his courage is less guarded than his friends (such as Sophie's or Biana's) he may be more inclined to carry out his plans quickly, but he's also more likely to not think things through fully and end up putting his own life at risk, and sometimes even his friends' lives, even when he's trying to help.

4. His caution and fight or flight instinct

To everyone who ever said Keefe's character is flat and his strengths and flaws never develop or change, what version of KOTLC are you even reading?! Like I mentioned above, Keefe's recklessness is a huge part of his character since book one, but now I'm here about to talk about his caution/obsessive worrying/the famous running away, specifically the second time. This is a relatively new character trait for him. It develops slightly after Lodestar/the first half of Nightfall. Keefe truly did learn a lot from leaving for the Neverseen and lying to Sophie before going to Ravagog. We're given an extremely limited window into this process, since Sophie had other things going on and Keefe's short story focused a lot on his crush on her, but Keefe noticeably steps back and stops trying to turn things into a "Keefe show" (as Sophie puts it in Nightfall) and attempts to work more as a team, which is definitely character development again. However, where he really learned his lesson was Loamnore. He showed up, again going behind Sophie's back and coming up with a plan of his own, and it ended with Sophie tied up on the ground and him being forced to undergo a transformation that gave him powers he's terrified of. While his recklessness didn't entirely vanish after this (his response in the end was to run away to the literal Forbidden Cities) but is definitely flavored with siginificantly more caution and an attempt to be genuinely responsible.

In Unlocked, Keefe noticeably asks for people to be kept away from him, including Sophie, so that he can keep from accidentally controlling anybody. He also stops using his voice entirely. These are actually incredibly selfless things for him to do. He loves to be with his friends (particularly Sophie for reasons) and he loves to talk! And neither of those things are bad! But he isn't willing to put them in danger. In fact, he actually sort of overdoes it in Unlocked, even asking for Dex to make him an ability restrictor. (While he's well-intentioned here, I think Keefe brushes past the idea that making one of those again might be something of a traumatic experience for Dex.) In the end, he's so worried about it that he runs away, but he does it with considerably more of a plan than he did when he joined the Neverseen. He knew he'd know the languages, he arranged a way to get his hands on human currency, and while Unraveled isn't out yet, the state in which they found Keefe along with some of the things Keefe described about his experience make it clear that Keefe purposefully learned a lot about human cultures and successfully blended in and made his life work.

His newfound carefulness paired with his classic instinct to run really encapsulate a lot of his character strengths and flaws. In the later books, it's actually a sign that he's developing as a character and moving away from some of his past character flaws, but like all well-written major character traits, it comes with its own drawbacks.

Another important aspect of Keefe's character is the way he is noticeably shaped by his own experiences. I mentioned the whole "being more human than human" thing earlier, and while yes, he's still not human, I think this is part of what makes so many people connect to his character. He's realistic. He has even more strengths and flaws than the ones I've mentioned above, and all of them obviously come from somewhere specific in his past.

Why is he so chronically unserious? Because he couldn't be serious enough for his family. Before he met Fitz and started spending time with the Vackers, he didn't even really have friends. He had a suffocated home and impossible expectations, and when he tried to live up to them, he just wasn't good enough. So he adapted to break the tension. He adapted to just... not try ("those who don't try never look foolish" -Fiyero in "Dancing Through Life," from Wicked. I think Fiyero is... very Keefe coded) and started skipping classes, breaking the rules, playing pranks and doing anything to cut through the tension. He dealt with pressure by tossing it off his shoulders and just deciding to not deal with it. Obviously, deciding to Just Not Deal With Things eventually began to hurt him, and he slowly and painfully begins to learn to have difficult conversations (but hey, at least he's getting there? I think Neverseen is where his development in that particular area becomes apparent, with the way he opens up more and even admits where he's really beginning to feel guilty).

Why is he such a master of knowing what to say? Because he grew up walking on eggshells around his parents. And when he decided to stop caring about his parents, he weaseled his way out of trouble whenever possible, and learned to use other people's emotions to learn things from them and get his way. "But Katie," you say, "reading other people's emotions without permission and using them to get his way is a very not good thing to do!" You're very correct! And it's an enormous indication of how skewed his view of normal is. What's the one Empath he grew up observing? His father. Look, he knows his parents suck, but because his parents suck, he has no way of knowing what is and isn't normal. Is his father doing this particular thing because he's a horrible person or because that's a normal thing to do? How on Earth is Keefe supposed to know?! Well, there are rules about telepathy, and there aren't any rules about empathy, so the external indications seem to tell him that this particular thing is normal. This is yet another example of Keefe's life experiences having a huge impact on his character.

Why is he so reckless? Because he doesn't care. Even his his most noble moments of bravery stem from the same place of not caring what happens to his life. It's the same reason his deep care for his friends' lives turns to quickly into self-sacrificial tendencies (which show themselves in canon on numerous occasions and usually don't even help). He has this "better me than any of them" mindset that's deeply rooted in his childhood trauma. Even though he's fought tooth and nail against everything his parents have ever said about him, he still has this ingrained sense of worthlessness. The way he says he "doesn't care about permanent damage" and tells Sophie that he's going to make sure he's always the one who ends up wrapped up in bandages and also has that moment in Unlocked where he wants to retreat into the darkness and never wake up? Look, we all know he needs therapy, but maybe reread that last sentence. ...Keep reading it until you get it.

And finally, what makes him finally learn to be cautious? Because he sees firsthand how his reckless plans are impacting the lives of other people around him, and if there's any negative trait that Keefe is NOT, it's selfish. Keefe may be occasionally selfish—you know, case by case basis, like most people—but it isn't a character trait of his by any means. He struggles significantly more with not caring about himself than he struggles with not caring about others. So when he realizes it isn't only his own life he's putting on the line, and sees the way it's hurting his friends, he takes an enormous step back, and even runs away for a time. Now, it would be great if he would start caring about himself too, because this poor guy needs therapy and his level of self-deprecation at this point is way out of control. But it is the case that he cares about his friends a lot (if someone quotes this part and brings up Fitz, I'm going to point out that their friendship has fallen way out due to actions and reactions on both sides of that relationship) and ultimately it ends up adjusting the balance in his character traits and their related strengths and flaws.

In short, Keefe is a lot of things. He's good things, he's bad things, he's consistent things. He reads like a real person—someone who frequently makes the same style of mistakes but does learn and grow over the course of his life. Every character trait of him stems from some aspect of his past. Shannon didn't write him with a slew of random personality traits—each and every one of them ties down to who he is and how he's shaped by his experiences. He can be a truly amazing friend. He can be a really horrible friend. He can be sweet and amazing and say the perfect thing. He can say the wrong-est possible thing with the intention of cutting the other person deep. He's a slow learner, but he learns nonetheless. His character development isn't a smooth arc in which he has trait A, event B happens and at the end he has trait C. That's common in storytelling, but not real life. Keefe learns, grows, then makes the same mistake again, then learns stronger. His character development sees both growth and setbacks, and the changes are subtle. He's still the same person even when he changes.

He's good things, he's bad things, he's consistent things, and I think it is out of an awareness of our own humanity that so many people relate to him and therefore enjoy his character.

I hope you enjoyed this essay, anon. Believe it or not, I actually have plenty more to say about any of these topics, and some other topics that I didn't even bring up, so if you want to see even more, just direct me towards what you want to hear and I assure you I'll have thoughts. Have a wonderful day!

[ggswaywardgifrepository]

It boggles the mind that the Bi-Han ship tier list seems to always put Sektor at the bottom below:

-the dude who convinced him to betray his entire realm for power that he never even got (Don't @ me, I love Shang Tsung, BiShang is my MK1 OTP, and my favorite Bi-Han ship.)

-one or both of his brothers (Not my thing 99% of the time but knock yourselves out. MK draws on loads of mythology for its lore and inc@st isn't exactly a foreign topic there.)

-his creator god (Despite loads and loads of baggage and a pretty significant power imbalance. There's also not much acknowledgment that Liu Kang had Bi-Han's entire life to notice his resentment brewing and try to reasonably intervene. Or he did try and failed--still, not a whiff of blame for Liu Kang, though. That's why I personally find this one off-putting, but again, enjoy what you enjoy.)

-Sareena (This one I totally get. We craved redemption for Bi-Han and saw a compelling and fulfilling possibility here. Tracks. 100%. It's also not as one-sided as other redemption focused Bi-Han ships because we know he positively influenced Sareena as well)

The bulk of the SekHan hate is directed at Sektor, and it makes me angry the more I think about it. But I admit this was my reaction for a long time as well.

In my case, at least, my discontent stemmed from Sektor not being a savior to Bi-Han, which suggests she has no value as a character other than to further his arc. And that's such a one-dimensional way to see both of them. By this logic, Sektor is worthless if she doesn't bring Bi-Han back to the light. Then also by this logic, Bi-Han isn't capable of championing his own redemption, rather, he needs another character holding the reins. (Sareena, Kuai Liang, or Liu Kang, most commonly.)

The DLC trailers were edited in such a way that we all had this preconceived notion of who Sektor was going to be in Khaos Reigns and a lot of it didn't hold up. She was hinted to be in love with Bi-Han but we all assumed it was one-sided--I did, at least. And somehow we all preferred the idea of that love being unrequited because heaven forbid two flawed, grown ass people be in a relationship. I also honestly think there's an aesthetic disconnect. I think there are a lot of people who either wanted him to not be in a ship, or to be in one with someone prettier.

I do still think they might've parted ways over the Cyber Lin Kuei, had that plot seen the light of day. But it's yet another 'what if' that never came to pass that I preemptively held against Sektor.

There's also a lot of speculation that Sektor is just manipulating Bi-Han, which can be used to invalidate romantic feelings but also suggests he's much more easily taken advantage of than I'd like to think he is. Him falling for Shang's shit was enough, alright. (And Shang is prettier. Sorry not sorry. Sektor is v attractive but Shang is much more attractiver.)

But Bi-Han is not a stupid man. At least, I don't want to see him that way. And the bulk of the anti-SekHan arguments paint him like this.

Honestly, anyone who says, "I know they're canon, I see the logic behind it, and I just fucking don't like it" resonates more because there are things I'm never gonna be jazzed about with them, and they're intangible, too.

SekHan is nowhere near my favorite ship, but I am sad to see it get hate. I think it was poorly introduced and left a bad taste in our mouths. But it still bums me out to know that that's why so few people even care to try and write the characters well together and rectify that.

And please, you're obviously allowed to disagree with every word here and ship or not ship whatever the hell you want. These are just my frustrations.

[justagirlfr]

I’d Rather Be Studying the Physics of You

rotb!Mirage x f!reader

summary: reader is struggling with her physics homework and Mirage goes to comfort her. (fluff, comfort)

tw: physics 😔

a/n: this one is pretty self-indulgent, I’ll open requests soon for more one-shots! I’m currently obsessed with rotb- Mirage and Noah specifically.

——————————————————

Mirage is in your room and leaning against one of the walls next to your bed. He's fiddling with your rubix cube- still amazed at how someone came up with this torture device for entertainment. You're working at your desk, a dim lamp the only source of light. Tonight, it's physics that you're struggling with. 

"Physics is so stupid, I swear to god," you mumble while trying to work out problem 35 on the review packet your professor gave you. This homework really has you questioning your entire life. "This is so overly complicated and for what."

"Physics can be useful," Mirage says, still focused on the cube. "I mean you use it all the time to fix my parts." He winks at the end of that last sentence and you roll your eyes even though he can't see them, your chair facing away from him and your attention being at the disgusting problems at hand. 

"That's like, practical physics though," you sigh. "This is stupid Newton physics."

Mirage momentarily stops twisting the cube's sides. "Isn't all of physics based on Newton physics?"

"I mean, not really, but all of it is the same- stupid and dumb and overcomplicated." You give up on the problem and move on to the next one. Reading the new onslaught of numbers and words, you really feel like throwing up. "Literally what the FUCK is this."

Mirage can sense that you're getting angrier and more frustrated by the minute. Your hands are at the crown of your head, grasping manically at the edges of your hair. "Honey, why don't you give it a break for a second?" He urges. "I think it'd make you feel better."

But you're too far into trying to deduce the obscure answer on your paper. You ignore him angrily and start scribbling wildly on your paper, writing down everything and anything that might be useful in solving this one. "No no no, this won't work, this won't work- you need acceleration for this one, but you don't even have time or distance! Literally what the fuck!" you're getting louder by the minute and it's starting to scare Mirage. 

"Love, I know you really want to solve that, but come here for a second," he urges, setting the cube down for a moment and acting genuinely concerned. 

"I'm fucking focused just let me try again oh my god-" there are tears brimming your eyes and clouding your vision and you're trying so, so hard to mask your frustration with yourself with anger- but you can't see, everything is spinning and you're just mad, mad at yourself because this should be easy, and why are you so horrible at physics? You're a STEM major for christ sake, how the fuck are you going to make it thorugh the rest of your life if you can't master simple Newtonian physics??? You feel the tears falling now, cascading down your face as you grip your pencil with the most power you possibly can. All the fight immediately leaves you and you give into your sadness. "I swear Mirage, I can't do anything right." You're silently sobbing now, basking in your misery because you've lost it, and you're tired of trying to hold yourself together and combat your inevitable conclusion that you are the stupidest person on Earth. What gave you the confidence to pursue such a field? You couldn't even do basic math. The salty tears smell gross to you, and your face feels disgusting all over. You're so lost in your break-down you almost fail to notice your chair slowly being pulled back and the familiar metal servos circling your body. 

"Honey, look at me." Mirage pulls your hands away from your face and gently cradles your face in his hands. "You do a lot of things right."

"No I don't, I can't even do this stupid problem I'm so sick of it, I'm so sick of trying and failing over and over again and it makes me feel so stupid and I am stupid and-"

"No." His grip on your face is tighter and you're forced to shut up. "You are one of the most brilliant, courageous people I know my love. I don’t ever want you to think that you’re not enough, that you can’t do anything.” 

You sniffle, and he gently moves his hands to your waist, picking you up from the chair and placing you in his lap where he can properly hold you. He places you on your bed and kneels on the side, looking over at you. You can hear all of his gears shifting as he does so. He presses his left hand to your cheek, caressing it. “You are already perfect. I love you so much and I could not imagine me loving any other version of you that didn’t have the persistence you do. I know you really wanted to get that worksheet over with and done, but come on man, that shit is hard and it’s not your fault you can’t get it on the first try.” He tucks the covers over you. It’s 4AM, and it’s probably for the best that you call it a day. 

“I just feel like I suck so much at this, and everyone else is so much better, and I’ll never get a job and it’s just so hopeless.” Some more tears slip out of your eyes, and Mirage wipes them away with a swift caress. 

“Oh my love,” he sighs and kisses you gently on your forehead. His lips feel cool and smooth against your soft skin. “It’s going to be okay. All that matters is that you’re trying your best, alright? You’re my girl, remember?”

You nod silently, gazing into his light blue optics as they soften meeting your look. “Yeah,” you sniffle. 

“That’s my girl,” he says. He goes to lay down next to you off the bed, and you can hear all of his parts whirring, getting ready to shut down. 

“Mirage?” You ask tentatively. 


He gets up immediately to look at you. “Yes, love?”

You look away for a second before saying, “can I sleep on you?”

Mirage giggles and you immediately feel his arms lifting you to lay on top of him. He takes a a blanket in front of the bed and drapes it over you. You’re pressed against his chest and it feels oh so nice. The warmth of his spark makes what would seem to be an uncomfortable thing to lay against actually very cozy. You tilt your head up and kiss his cool lips. He reciprocates, and you can taste the warm metal of his bottom lip. When you pull away, he gives you the most adoring expression ever and you melt into him. “I love you,” he says, without breaking eye contact. 

“I love you too,” you give him a smile back. 

[yaksha-lover]

Hi! Maybe strange question but you seem to have a good grasp on the boys’ personalities. I’ve been reading a lot of the yanderification of the TWST boys and started wondering which ones (if any) would be most likely to have what could be labeled “yandere” tendencies. Just seems like a fun train of thought to chase.

Do you have any thoughts on this? (Also sorry for the word salad.)

In my opinion, I think it’s pretty easy to twist most of their personalities to fit a yandere type, but as for who’s yandere characterizations are closest to their canon counterparts, I would say:

Malleus, I think is the obvious one. Although clearly I don’t think he’d be yandere in canon, it makes sense for him to have some clingy tendencies in a relationship, and an obsession with his romantic interest. It’s the whole ‘you’re the only person in the world who matters to me’ type trope, because of the social rejection and isolation he’s faced.

People usually take it two ways here, either a) very possessive and jealous or b) very protective. I tend to lean towards the second interpretation (although I love to explore the first one, the second is more canon to me). More ‘I would burn cities to protect you, move heaven and earth to make you happy’ than ‘I want to keep you locked up here all to myself, you belong to me.’ So yes, a yandere Malleus may kidnap you, but only to keep you ‘safe.’ He’s also not as emotionally immature as I think he’s sometimes characterized as (although I’m probably also guilty of this). He’s not really the type to force someone to love him, imo, because he wants it to be genuine (his insecurity stems from an inability to be accepted so forcing it wouldn’t truly fulfill that desire to be loved and validated).

Rook, I think also makes sense, but it’s hard to say because most of the time a lot of his characterization is just played for jokes. Like the whole ‘he’s a stalker, he knows a lot about everyone, others get unnerved by him, etc.’ It’s meant to be funny, but if we take it seriously then we could probably jump to some interesting conclusions about Rook. Also, combined with that ghost bride line about him ‘never letting his beloved go’ -

He seems the type to get fixated on some object of beauty, and I could see that developing into a yandere-like obsession. Maybe if he finally finds the one thing - or person - who he thinks is the true pinnacle of art and beauty, what he’s been searching for all along. Initial stalking to learn more about his interest, some uncomfortable attempts at closeness because he knows everything about them and they know nothing about him. Divided between showing his beloved off to the world and keeping them all nice and pretty for his own enjoyment - the only one who can truly appreciate their beauty. Also, once he’s felt the experience of love, I doubt he’d ever want to live without it. Maybe that’s the ‘true’ beauty of life to him, even.

Jamil is just so apathetic that if he ever did fall for someone, I can’t see him ever giving them up if he can help it. Also, we’ve seen in canon that Jamil isn’t above doing mildly bad things for self-serving interests (think masquerade with ruggie, manipulating the oblivious students).

He just wants something nice and soft for himself. Is that so much to ask for, after all he’s been through? Jamil is never allowed to have anything, nothing that Kalim doesn’t. It’s no wonder he’d cling to the only sweet thing he can get his hands on, something just for him. Even if you’re frustrated with him, even if you get tired of him, he isn’t so willing to just let you go. He deserves something nice like you, and you’ll be happy with him, even if you might need a ‘charming’ reminder of it sometimes.

Lastly, Jade and Floyd are popular yanderes to write for a reason. They both already have so much inexplicably unhinged energy even compared to the rest of the cast (other than maybe Rook). Jade seems so cold and apathetic, while putting on a mask of care. Floyd doesn’t really care to do so, wearing his many moods on his sleeve. But they’re still two sides of the same coin; they’re used to getting whatever they want, often by questionable means.

They also seem like they would be pretty possessive, even if it comes out in different ways. Jade and Floyd may be good at sharing with each other, but they’ve never been good at sharing with anyone else. Floyd will show you (and whoever thinks it’s okay to encroach on his partner) how upset he is by this particular development. I doubt you’d want to keep it up when he threatens your friends that get a little too close. Jade is different; the same annoyance and possessiveness still burns him, but he has a little more patience than Floyd. He isn’t willing to start any fights. Jade prefers not to get his hands dirty, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have other tactics to scare away anyone who tries to flirt with you.

[clovermarigold]

Smoke & Ice Chap.9

Masterlist

Alright… I have decided to become a devout catholic nun because writing this shit physically hurt and I think I need God. But in all seriousness thank you for reading and I apologize for the wait.

Guess who’s going back to school! This idiot. My goal is to put out longer chapters since I'm incapable of updating regularly between school and my other fic.

A special thank you to Isabel LaRosa for being the only reason I was able to write this seriously

Ms.Matron is a FREAK and beta/proofreading is for the weak

*WARNING* 18+ content MINORS BE GONE

Bold + Italicized = greek

~~~~~

Attraction is a strange thing when you think about it. Nearly random and entirely impossible to decipher. Varying from person to person, changing like the direction of the wind at so much as a whim.

It’s believed that attraction is heavily influenced by upbringing. Specifically, it is human nature to want what they can't have or what they lack. People lacking parental figures often seek out these traits in partners. A selfish want; to be able to have everything at half the cost. But lust is lust in the end.

And if attraction truly stemmed from one's unmet wants and desires, then it was no wonder Calla lay across the mat bedding of her home, one hand threading through the thin summer sheets, the other working its way below.

Calla wasn’t a stranger to… intimacy. If intimacy was described as shoving a hand over your mouth to keep yourself quiet. That being said she was more than capable of handling such urges, and not allowing them to distract her from her duties. Which was why lying prone, uncomfortably hot and frustrated, struggling to get the desired release from her fingers was beginning to piss her off.

That's what a lot of things were doing as of late. It was no wonder Calla was in need of undoing some tension. That’s all it was. Some well needed pleasure to wash away the stress of the past week.

Or at least it was what she wanted, in her current state it was obvious that she was getting nowhere. Usually just a bit of friction and time was enough, but unfortunately her mind was too tempted to wander every other second.

Calla’s hand stilled in its motions, flexing out the pain from its rapid movements. “Ugh”, she stared at the roof, though glare would be the more accurate turn of phrase. “Wonderful”. Stressed, overworked, frustrated, and now on top of that, sexually disappointed.

‘Stupid Cypress’ she was more than in control of her physical needs before the little stunt at dinner. And it wasn’t like Cypress had the right to talk. It’s not like people were lining up to f—

Calla closed her eyes and hissed out her nose. In the past year she had never even thought to ask about her friend's romantical life. By the elder gods she was a bad friend. What did she do to deserve Cypress? Who went above and beyond to make her see reason and realize that she was pent up before even she realized. Who was she kidding, she may not ever admit it to the bastard but Bi han did get one thing right. She was repressed.

She wasn’t a master of balancing desire and duty; she was a mess who hadn’t even realized the last time she successfully came was over three months ago. 

After a moment to collect herself and open her eyes, she breathed in as the slight cramp left her hand. Too fast, she had relied on harsh and fast movements to force a reaction out of her body instead of taking her time to actually relieve any stress.

Others probably didn’t have this problem. Hells, the younger girls acting near savage over the Lin Kuei fool….

“Oh” , Calla let out, uncharacteristically softly. They had a vision in mind when they acted on carnal urges. A person or compilation of traits they craved. Granted they were often impossible and grounded in fantasy, but, maybe that was the point. To forget the world and indulge in the most based of wants. Well? What did she want?

Calla closed her eyes and allowed her mind to wander. What she wanted was for the fire god’s runts to leave. 

Maybe, ‘runt’ was an untrue and cruel lie. They were certainly well trained… and built. She was half convinced that if she were to bend her sister tree in half the fools’ arms would still be thicker. And then there was the situation of him. Bi han, the smug bastard, who was practically ogling her earlier. His arms were no doubt the largest. In tandem with his stature, strength, and sharp jaw, he would be what Calla considered a handsome and attractive man. Too bad it was worthless the second he opened his mouth. Maybe if he did something other than talking his mouth would be useful for once. 

Bi han was so quick to spit venom and bile at the mere presence of a matron. She wondered how much he would spit when his tongue was busy, buried inside her. A slight heat began to form between her legs at the thought. Ok… Now she was getting somewhere.

Calla tentatively pressed her once sore fingers to her core, hissing at the pleasurable contact. Something about the Grandmaster scratched a certain itch Calla was unaware she had. More likely he created said itch. She wanted to claw out his back and make him feel just as much pain she felt having to be near him. All the while he tortured himself over the fact that he had ‘lowered himself to a lesser’. Watching the twisted look on his face as he grappled with pleasure and pain. 

Calla’s breathing caught as she quickened the pace of her fingers against her clit. Still a brute force way to reach an orgasm, but still an improvement from her previous tactic.

Bi han wore his hair in a bun. She wondered how long it was. How satisfying it would be to pull on it enough to make the scalp burn. She didn’t doubt that in the impossible reality that this did happen he would certainly return the favor. Calla didn’t think she had an interest in pain or hair pulling. But it seems she was wrong.

He was strong, she felt as much when he kicked her. Would he use the same strength bending her over? Slamming into her from behind? Digging his fingers into her skin? It would leave marks. And the thought of that was exciting. 

She was getting close. Her other hand had made its way back to her mouth. Helping swallow the choked moans as she bit into it. 

The sting from her teeth did little to deter her coming high. In fact it seemed to usher it. It would certainly be better if she were able to bite down on a certain bastard. Make him jolt in pain before his inevitable lash out. 

Fuck. She was close. Her heart was beating so loudly in her chest she could swear it was coming from somewhere else. 

By Gods above that wouldn’t be the best part. No, the greatest thing she could imagine doing to the Lin Kuei parasite would be to put him under her. To watch him squirm to gain some semblance of power, only to writhe and suffer, blissed, binded, and conquered.

Almost there!-

*Ba-bum Bum*

Was the sound coming from her heart? No, if that were the case she must be having a heart attack. 

But weren’t heart attacks supposed to be painful? What Calla was feeling now was the furthest thing. No, she felt ecstasy. Mere seconds away from total bliss. 

By that logic then there must be someone making that noise. Was someone at the door?

Well, if there was, then it was too bad for them. They would have to come back in the morning. Because the last thing she was going to do after months of pent up aggression was answer the door. She did wish it was a little less distracting. 

*Ba-bum Bum*

A gasp slipped through her bit fingers as Calla’s back arched. 

*Ba-bum Bum*

Ugh! Yes! She knows! Someones there! Get over it!

*Ba-bum Bum*

Calla panicked momentarily as she felt her release begin to slip away from her reach.

“Shit” focusing solely on her fingers she drowned out the noise, desperate not to lose her hard earned high. 

*Ba-bum Bum Bum Bum Bum*

Gone.

//Smut separation//

“Fuck”, Calla threw herself up from her sheets, fuming. Her first chance at finding a release in months, stolen! Ripped from her at the very edge. Oh the bastard who dared to be at her door best have an excuse for bothering her at such a time. 

“What!?” Calla wrenched the door open, shocked and even more infuriated, at the sight of her unwanted visitor. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Tension within the group had been higher than they were in the woods. The fact that a single day within the Mangrove was able to throw everyone into an exhausted disarray was more than concerning to Tomas. 

Bi han was open about his discontent and made his thoughts on the mission well known. But something about today had him worse than Tomas had seen him in a while. 

Raiden was struggling to keep the other three in high spirits, which was becoming quite the arduous task given his dwindling energy. With Bi han in such a state, the others were looking to him for guidance, even if some members of the group would never admit it. 

After all, he was the senior of the group when Bi han was gone. And besides that, he was given the simplest of tasks. Watch and train one boy, simple as that. Even with the stragglers and extra guests to their lessons it took the least energy. 

So naturally he should be the most collected, responsible, and in the best mindset amongst them….

no

no… That wasn’t true.

He hasn’t felt worse in ages. Surrounded by all these children…. It was terrible. Especially Miche. It wasn’t their fault either. Just being surrounded by them made his mind go to darker parts of his brain he had thought he trained to be at peace with.

Memories he had long since repressed. 

Miche was so innocent, excited and lively. Half the time he spoke he forgot Tomas couldn’t understand Greek. Eagerly switching between his native tongue. 

Thomas paused, holding his breath. Taking in his surroundings he was sure of where he was, and what he needed to do. It wasn’t late, at least not outrageously so. 

The sun was gone but the heat of the sun was still permeating off of the ground, not yet quelled by the cold night. It was obvious that the group wouldn’t last long. And he didn’t doubt that the Matron had no intention of considering Lord Liu Kang’s request. Bi han’s attitude certainly wasn’t helping either. 

No. If this mission was going to succeed it would take more than working themselves to the bone on fields and construction. Tomas needed to find a way to get to the Matron. To make her understand why this was for the betterment of earthrealm. All he needed was a hook, just tempting enough to lure her in and open her up to the idea of giving them a fair chance.

And so here he was, standing outside of what he presumed was Lady Calla’s home, speech and apology memorized as he rapped on the door.  At first he was met with no response, but the faint sound of… Well he wasn’t sure what it was but based on the groan it was likely irritation. 

Tomas’ mind began to dive. Perhaps coming to a woman’s home uninvited at night wasn’t a wise decision. But taking into account her role within the Mangrove, she must be both used and prepared to entertain nightly visitors about the wellbeing of the clan. Further cemented in his decision, Tomas hit the door again, louder. He would not be ignored. He would obey and leave if she wished, but he would be seen. 

Tomas was well conditioned in matters such as these. Ever since the death of his father, and Bi han’s ascension to Grandmaster. It had become difficult to have a say within the clan. During the reign of his father, all would be welcome to seek counsel at all times of day. But now… It worried Tomas, to see how much his brother was receding into himself. The more Bi han drew away the crueler he became towards him. The constant questioning of Lord liu Kang was also concerning, if h–

“What!” The door slammed open, stealing him from his thoughts. Anger was blatant on the Matron; brows furrowed, nose crinkled, and jaw clenched. 

“Matron, I am loath to disturb you at such an hour–”, “Then don’t”. Tomas was caught off guard, her usual air of professionalism and regality were gone. Replaced with this blunt and harsh exterior. It was rather foolish to expect her to be collected and put together at such hours. 

Her hair was messy, her skin was sheen from sweat after a long day’s work, and dressed in a thin white summer nightgown…. Oh by the elder gods this was inappropriate! 

“I’m sorry Matron, It was not my intent to disturb you in such a state” Thomas averted his eyes out of respect. 

“And what was your intent?” Calla said, dripping venom from every syllable. 

“I merely wished to apologize both for Bi han’s behavior and today at dinner”. Having averted his eyes, Tomas was oblivious to the look of terror plaguing Calla. What about dinner?! Was he able to understand Cypress and pretended not too? Bi han was already aware of the embarrassing secrets divulged that evening. The last thing she needed was for another Lin Kuei bastard to hang that over her.

“I carried myself inappropriately and distracted your pupils. As a guest given the task of training young Miche, this was irresponsible and rude of me. Though now I’m sure this seems as though it’s a trait of mine”. 

“What?” Daring to look back at her, all anger had been replaced with a look of pure and utter confusion, ‘Better now than later to test the waters’.

“May I come in?” Calla’s face twisted before a huff escaped her, nodding as she stepped to the side.

First the hook, then the line, then the sinker.

Just ask if you want to be added to the tag list!

Taglist

~~~~~~~~~~

@whore-of-many-hot-men

@cherryblossomly

@anightlikethisss

[crguang]

Hi, I've been reading your fanfics lately and I've become obsessed with your writing! I'm not good at English so I keep to myself.

I wanted to share my feelings, because I think you should know what a great job you do! Not only did you make me have a different perspective on Kafka, you also made me see character development more clearly! (I also write a lot, and it's one of my difficulties.)

It's incredible how his stories gave me an addictive feeling, something I haven't seen in any other Kafka fanfic! Please keep it up!

In fact, I have ideas in my head about how Kafka would react to R's death? Or what exactly would make her cry? I wonder, and I think your point of view would be quite accurate.

first of all, don’t worry about your english!! it’s great, and it’s not my first language either so i understand the struggle. thank you for your kind words i cant believe my writing has inspired/helped you in any way, im especially happy it changed your mind about Kafka hehe. trust meee i understand how tough characterization is, i focus way too much on the details and it can get pretty frustrating. i take it seriously too, so when something doesn’t go my way or i can’t portray a scene the way i see it in my mind, i lose it a little bit.

ouhhh, kafka and death is a pretty intimate affair in my opinion. she deals with it all the time but we don’t know if she’s experienced it— she sees suffering as something euphoric, fascinating. we know she doesn’t care for her victims because of it, that and the fact that she’s following what she truly believes is destiny. if it was their destiny to die by her hand, why would she mourn? i think it would take a lot to make her cry, she’s very resilient and can withstand a lot + she doesn’t feel fear and there are lots of complex emotions born from it (anxiety, dread, panic) so in my opinion she’s not very attuned to these as well. i’ll expand on the “not feeling fear” thing because its absolutely insane; its a primal instinct that makes us do or not do so many things. it’s connected to so many other emotions— we feel sad because we fear losing people, we feel helpless because we fear not being good enough, etc. kafka wouldn’t be able to understand all of that in a visceral way. we know she worries to an extent (for the trailblazer, for blade) and that also stems from fear but so far, it’s been somewhat superficial. she checks up on them like once and that’s that. here again, following and believing in a scripted future makes it so that she doesnt have much to worry about. it makes me believe that she would often realize things after they’ve happened, like “oh, i don’t like this…”

losing someone she genuinely cares about might paralyze her, at least at first. death doesn’t obsess her because fear is self-preservation and she cant feel that. she is logical though, and knows not to put herself/others in certain dangerous situations. she doesn’t fear her s/o dying, she just knows she doesn’t want it to happen. what she can feel though is sadness, and that only happens during/after the fact. grief is soo complex, that’s why i think it would paralyze her afterwards— she’d feel this immense loss that she hasn’t prepared for, and kafka is rarely caught by surprise. she wouldn’t know what to do and her logic won’t save her; so many things don’t matter when you’re dealing with emotions that feel all-consuming, she knows death is inevitable, so what? she knows this was always a possibility, so what? that doesn’t tell her how to deal with it. she’d go through the motions as usual because life didn’t stop for her but she’d have this constant tightness in her chest like fingers curled around her heart. the tears would find her on a tuesday morning as she’s cleaning her gun or putting on her boots. to me, her feelings have a little lag; she doesn’t feel apprehension much so they would have to hit her afterwards. in my most recent fic im writing about her being a player for laughs but i still make her fall for the reader at the same time they fall for her, she just realizes it way later. this is long as hell im so sorry but to sum up i do think she would cry a lot because she almost never does and her body would need the relief.

im yapping im sorry😭 your question was super interesting and it really got me thinking but let me stop lmfao. i hope i kinda answered it along the way😭

[piracytheorist]

Damian Desmond, the bully and the victim

I'm prefacing this by saying I was bullied as a kid at school. It was not the worst bullying story you'll ever hear, but that makes no difference in bully victims, cause no amount of "It could be worse!" can heal the life-long scars bullying leaves in you. I'm not saying this to evoke pity or sympathy, but to give context for my point of view in this analysis.

My two most prominent (and persisting) bullies through my school years were two boys, unrelated to each other and in different times (one was in elementary school and one in high school), who both had divorced parents and lived with their mothers. I don't know the full details of what their relationships with their fathers were, but I can easily guess that there were unfulfilled wishes in their lives, and once they found me they were like "That's who I'll burst out my frustrations on". As if I didn't have my own issues at home, but why would my problems matter from their point of view?

The thing with bullies (and abusers in general) is that, for the most part, they don't understand the pain they're causing - and if they do, they think their victim needs (tough love situation) or deserves it. Everyone is a hero in their own story - I regrettably made fun of a classmate a few times, out of my own need to feel superior for once after having been on the receiving end for so long. And I can tell you that my justification for doing so was something like "I am smart and this kid should listen to me, if he does he will become smart too!". It was only much, much later that I realized that didn't hold and the kid was actually hurt by my uncalled-for behaviour. Usually, bullies don't have the empathy, or if they do they simply don't put it to use, to see things from their victim's perspective.

And in all the praise I have to give Endo for writing Anya very realistically as a child, I also have to give it to him for how realistic the bullying is. It starts immediately, uncritically. It persists and the stupid excuse of "Just ignore them" doesn't work at all. Anya gets angry and upset at it, to the point of violent outbursts and tears (though thankfully presented in such a way that the audience doesn't blame her). Combined with his conflicting emotions about her, Damian has found the perfect victim for his bullying; Anya is an outcast (aside from having Becky, thank god), has physical attributes he can make fun of, and because of her wanting to help with Operation Strix she just constantly presents herself to him, when normally she would try her damnedest to avoid him (like Becky always advises her to).

Everything Damian does is an outburst of his own feelings of neglect. I know manga readers know more about the family dynamic, but as an anime only I've also been given enough to understand it's very, very problematic. But that's not an excuse. Having trauma on your own does not excuse thrusting trauma upon others. I mean, you think Anya, the orphan from the lab who didn't have anyone to give a damn about her happiness until she had to manipulate both her ways into getting a father and then a mother, has less trauma than Damian does???

It's not an excuse, but it's a dynamic for Damian to become better. Damian's behaviour problem doesn't only stem from him being neglected; it's also from the fact that he hasn't been taught sympathy. Which, like, makes sense. His father is an ambitious politician who genuinely believes that it's impossible for humans, even relatives, to understand each other, and had no qualms saying this right in front of his kid.

When it comes to Damian's behaviour, it does not matter that those words hurt him terribly. He doesn't have the emotional maturity and empathy yet to understand that he's only perpetuating the same toxic behaviour with his classmates. The fact that Donovan felt so comfortable saying those words in front of both his own son and a total stranger shows that it's something he's used to; and such traits can very easily be passed on from parents to kids without even consciously trying.

Meanwhile, while Anya had a much worse time while being used as a science subject, she was taught the idea of peace; in the first episode flashback, the scientists talk about how they can use her powers for world peace, to justify cutting her play time short in favor of whatever they were doing with her. When Twilight thinks that understanding her will lead to world peace, she immediately starts complying with that. And when she hears his thoughts about how he wants to create a better world, she decides to stay with him as his daughter to help him in the mission, despite understanding the risk and knowing that whether the mission fails or succeeds, Twilight will walk away in the end. She understands the idea of kindness and good. Maybe the way she was introduced to it wasn't the most noble - after all, the scientists were using it as an excuse to practically abuse her - but she still knows and understands enough about what it means for someone else to be happy.

Damian… doesn't. For the grand majority of his presentation he doesn't do things for someone else, in fact, he's so used to others doing things for him that we always see Ewen carry his backpack for him.

I do not doubt that Ewen himself, being the bootlicker he is, offered to carry it, but the fact that Damian never once went like "Nah it's okay man I can carry my weight today" is very telling about how not used he is to doing things for others.

However, his dynamic becomes interesting and receives redeeming qualities because of the times he does show altruism. First when he stops the ball from hitting Anya in the face during the dodgeball game, (though he instantly and openly regrets doing that). And it wasn't from conscious thought - it was an action purely out of protective instinct. Then, when he's the instigator of consoling George Glooman when the latter thinks he'll be moved out of the school. That one he also regrets doing, but it's much more understandable and it doesn't take away the sympathy he showed him.

There is something he constantly does, however, with someone else in mind; he studies hard and tries to excel at school to receive Stellas, in order to get his father's attention. His way of getting that attention has been so messed up by his upbringing that he thinks the only way of getting any positive interaction with his father is by working hard to not be a "failure". And even that hides some personal motives behind it, because the poor kid longs for some affection from his family. Donovan's character and the distance Damian has from him, his mother (when he calls home, he talks with their butler, not her), and his brother all combined do not allow the kid to understand the concept of doing something to make someone else happy, even (or especially) if there's nothing in it for him.

That's not selflessness; that's a neglected kid pushing himself to prove to his abusers that he's deserving of their affection, something he naturally craves and obviously misses from his life. Tough "love" is so prominent in the Desmond family that Damian had no hopes of growing any differently.

He has the potential to become better and has only been held back because of his family's toxic environment. But he needs to develop a conscious understanding of altruism first if his character is to grow into a morally better area.

You can't just give a character a painful backstory and expect audiences to automatically root for their happiness. You need to show your character also has grown empathy because of said painful experiences. We see it with all three mains. Anya was treated as a lab experiment; you start rooting for her when you see that she wants to help bring peace. Twilight went through a war as a kid; you root for him when he says he wants to create a world where kids won't go through the same thing. Yor lost her parents when she was very young; you root for her when you learn that she took care of her brother and gave him opportunities for education and a better future that she rejected for herself in his favour.

So yeah, I do feel sorry for Damian. But right now I only root for him to understand the meaning of making someone else happy — the meaning behind his own protective action over Anya in the dodgeball game and the sympathy he showed George. When he does that, and he realizes he has more in common with Anya than he dares to accept, it's only then that he'll grow from a layered but still toxic bully into a character audiences can root for.

It's also not the responsibility of Anya of all people to take up all the abuse from him and be the one to help him build up some character. It has to be him making the realization, and Anya can choose to be a friend to him as he does that, but in no way can his development depend on her.

(Again, anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)

[pleucas]

i'm still half asleep as i write this. sorry if unorganized. i wake this morning but a wee little soul accused of not dismantling the facade of the character, of demonizing mental illness and most horrendously, watching the anime first. oh Cheese is also here sitting in the corner. real ominously, kinda scaring me.

so, firstly, i actually hate watching anime and like all animated media where there's a book. they speak too slow and less information is conveyed. if i can read something faster than i can watch the show, im going to read it. ive actually only watched the first couple episodes of BSD and the Dark Era ones. ive read the manga like 3 times and most of the light novels relating to chuuya and dazai. now that that the clear most important point is out of the way, which is that my media illiteracy is through MY OWN CHOICE !! onto the others. dazai is a well written character. he's entertaining to think about. a character being well written doesn't make them likeable though? he was written to be annoying, he gets on near everyone's nerves in the show. i can be annoyed with him AND ALSO understand that despite that he is a multi layered character who isn't necessarily all good or bad. sorry if i came off like that wasn't the case in my other asks. i get his facade, i understand why he does it, ive been there to when i was reallllly deep in depression. and with that said, it still frustrates me. this is gonna be a shocker, a real hard pill to swallow, some other expression of surprise, living life in a state where you're always passively lying to people is bad for you relationships!! i feel the burden to see through the facade is often placed on the people around him, but i think setting the standard that people should just know without you telling them can be pretty unhealthy.

i think in these kinda ships where one of the character's has basically erected a wall between themselves in the war, the compelling part is seeing the bricks, day by day, be taken apart. and, ultimately, it is on the person who put up the wall to do that in the end. they can have help, of course. most need a remarkable amount of assurance for it, but still it falls on the shoulders of the person who put it up.

im not going to compare mental illness or toxicity, but i don't think Chuuya even wants to assure him. furthermore, given their relationship, i think that's a respectable decision. im not going to bash him for disliking someone who admits to doing everything in his power to annoy him even at his lowest moments (STORMBRINGER DAZZAI OH HOW I HATE YOU. TANGENT TIME: there's a difference between manipulating a situation to be advantageous and it happening to turn out good for the people involved and helping. intentions matter!! dazai wanted the outcome best for HIMSELF. he does this a lot, drags other people into it. all the time. beast dazai? even worse. hate that guy. people read beast as a dazai angst book?? what??? clearly it was sskk fodder.) Chuuya is far less intelligent than dazai, alright. not a negative, but when it comes to holding him accountable my standard isn't as high. he clearly cares for others and has a strong moral backbone, even if id disagree with him on it, unlike SOMEONE i know. he values personhood generally. mentally ill people still have free will. i don't hate dazai for being mentally ill, i hate him for the choices he makes. i understand they stem from the illness, everything exists in context or whatnot, but that doesn't excuse it. on the point about him changing for the better, i don't actually think he has. not in a significant way. once more, intentions matter. he's 'being good' because Oda told him to be, but to this day, he still manipulates the people around him - and this is an active choice. one example: everything he makes Akutagawa do. in the relationship, he's very clearly still taking advantage of the emotional abuse he put him through. it helps the ADA, but it also shows he falls into the same patterns he always has. he can change, of course, and id like to see him change, but in my eyes it hasn't really happened yet. when it does? maybe ill like skk!! ive got hope for this arc.

on a much lighter note, im pretty sure i know who Cheese is. i showed this page to a friend a couple days ago and they said something about sending an ask in. sorry about them, they talk too much. me? im very concise. This has obviously been Rimu

RIMU OMG WELCOME BACK I'VE MISSED YOUUUUU

to preface: yeah totally fine to hate a character and acknowledge their complexity. very valid perspective, don't let anyone tell you otherwise

this is getting intense (& interesting!) and i've received a few more additions to this Saga in my inbox so i supposed i'd get a little into it as well. dz's character and skk has always been interesting to me so m gonna start procuring theses... sorry

firstly, i apologize for disregarding your agency in your own media illiteracy. please understand that there was little ill intent and i was actually trying to protect you from the dazai glazers, tho idk if you rlly want my protection there. they do get kinda feisty tho so you are one brave soldier

abt the dazai brick-wall-facade thing: super interesting and yeah i generally agree with you. his inability to communicate has been emphasized and i think it's something that, if he were a real person, he'd probably have to work on LOL. idk if bsd necessarily treats it as a bad/good thing — just a Thing. but then applied to skk, i actually believe asgr puts a lot of time into showing (not telling) that dazai does Not do this with chuuya, especially when they're 22, arguably even in stormbringer (tangent for later).

it's all very subtle — laughing at the rich girl act, smiling at him during lovecraft, legitimately giving him a choice about corruption, even calling him a diff "partner" title in jp. very, very subtle shit. notice that bones kills most of this. the thing is, i think it's also made clear that chuuya easily reads through the remainder of dz's bullshit, mostly when they're 22 (but therefore suggestively 17 and on, since they haven't been in contact since dz left the pm) — playing into the rich girl joke, suggesting code-worded formations during lovecraft, reading through dazai's stupid rolling-on-floor shtick in meursault. none of this has to be explicitly romantic either, asgr employs this stuff to demonstrate that they have a close, long-term bond. again, subtle shit, probably only readable if you have the context of stormbringer, which leads into the tangent.

stormbringer dazai, or mafia dazai, is dazai at his worst. every character in bsd has a time when they are at their worst, and they are all working to redeem themselves, for themselves. that's kinda the point of the whole series: find a reason to live, for others but primarily for yourself, no matter what you've done or will do or didn't do. at the point of sb, dazai does not understand human connection as a part of the self, since he's an isolationist little imp and also a traumatized "i know too much" child. pretty sure the whole shipping container scene was meant to demonstrate this. so yeah, dazai put chuuya through physical and emotional hell because he didn't understand the weight of either of these torments. when he finally does in dark era, he gets outta his "worst."

but you'll notice that when it comes to chuuya's humanity, he gives chuuya as much time as possible and hesitates to speak. again, subtle shit. i really think it does sb a disservice to say that dazai was trying to have the best outcome for himself — his goal was to protect mori and the freshly righted PM from collapse (aka protect yokohama from collapse), and along the way chuuya gets a power-up after losing some friends and going through some pain (which isn't that deep to dz) while also hurdling the question of his humanity by finding out a bit of his past. it's a very "i'm above it" analysis of reality, which i think sets up dazai's character arc + og mindset pretty well — through dark era and fyodor, dazai faces that he cannot be "above it" if he wants to really live. and so, here we are, witnessing him come down here to eat, breathe, fall in love, and die.

abt BEAST — i agree with you lol. i think BEAST is the epitome of a dazai who is forever "above it." his only option is suffering, lackluster returns & the achievement of a singular goal, and suicide. it's a subplot and subtlety to read into. otherwise, BEAST is utterly and wholly sskk/aku/atsushi gourmet dinner.

& on the topic of dazai's death that you mentioned way back, i agree with you. dazai needs to get nerfed somehow to confront the struggles of living. i think meursault has been pretty good for that, now that fyodor's up and kicking again — dazai's been intellectually and physically bested, and now he's facing everything he thought was inconsequential. the loss of friends, of agency (lol of The Agency also), of purpose, of physical ability. his suicide stuff is quite possibly chekov's bazooka missile and he'll probably end up dying (maybe through self-sacrifice), although in a completely different tone than in BEAST. im going to tentatively trust asgr with that... it would possibly make or break dazai's character LMFAO

ugh this is so long. i have/had Thoughts and you've dragged them out. but abt dazai being good/bad (as dz glazer identifies it) or better (as you id it), i'm pretty certain the whole point of dazai is to demonstrate that there is no good or bad in the world. like. Yeah. i somewhat agree that he isn't "changing for the better" in any significant way, precisely for the reasons you pointed out. him relying on others directly is a good sign tho (trusting atsushi to handle things in dead apple, sending akutagawa as the eyes/flare, etc). i'm rather certain we're seeing, rn in meursault/airport arc, dazai's capacity to truly change being challenged. so yes!!! i too have hope for this arc :0

this ended up being pretty dz centric which is sad because skk are two components after all... but this is way too long now. as always, pleasure to read ur writing, and keep it going!!! and please say hi to your discursive cheese friend for me <3

what have you done to me, cas

[plushietoon]

Also, just saw your pinned; hit me with the sweet Kat & Ana takes

N'aww, you think my takes are sweet? I'm flattered! I hope I don't let you down! ...also so sorry this ended up being a REALLY long post. The twins be a hyper fixation, I feel awful about it. So um...maybe get a snack or something while reading...idk...thank you for reading and supporting my thoughts if you do.

send me a character and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them

They are baby but they can kick your ass.

Individually, Kat has ADHD vibes and as a person with ADHD, I feel we both just forget to pause and have taken things seriously. Also she is protective of Ana and I relate. Plus there's something charming about Kat trying to act like the grown up between her and Ana.

I'm a bloody sensitive crybaby and had projected that onto many favorite characters much to my current shame. I'm trying not to push that trait onto other characters now. But to know that Ana's an actual crybaby resonates with me and thus I get to write sob stories with her as I please. Horrible, I know. But I do adore that she is childlike but observant, sort of mature.

least favorite thing about them

The original voices. Ok, I can't diss on those ladies too much, they were doing silly voices for a bit. It is frustrating that most of the twins' voice stuff then and now are not separated in files. I want to animate them saying stuff dangit.

Anyways, I love and hate that Kat is a bit of a bully to Ana because like, why would you be mean to your baby sister, but at the same time, siblings tend to fight. It creates interesting situations. IDK, her saying that Ana is hopeless resonates with me as in yeah I been in Ana's shoes, but also I shamefully take any chance to pity characters I love. Woobiefication been a thing for my whole life, unfortunately.

I'm not a big fan of Fryda and probably the newer games' writers and voice director making Ana more loud and energetic in GiT and Move It. It makes her less distinguishable from Kat who's always been the energetic loud twin. Ana has always been portrayed and described as the timid, quiet, cautious sibling and to see the newer games muddle that trait makes me annoyed. Ana's portrayal in Gold is perfect, though I will not lie some newer voice lines are still cute.

favorite line

Kat - "I need a nap!"

Ana - "I've never been readier!"

...what? I like it when the twins' actual age show up.

brOTP

If you spend like 5 seconds on any of my active plushietoon accounts, you'll easily find that I adore Lulu and Ana being besties. Stemmed from throwing the two together in roleplay, and seeing Ana kinda latching onto Lulu whenever Kat's away cuz Lulu is like...brash and confident like Kat. But Lulu also likes frilly things that Kat can't stand. I feel Lulu is also a bigger fan of cuddles. But both Lulu and Kat will protect Ana...though technically all of WarioWare would protect each other.

Can't forget that technically Kat and Ana are also BrOTP too, cuz they're siblings. Best siblings perhaps. But most certainly they are like each others' best friend. Kat can be outspoken and speaks a lot for herself, she's also one to speak up for Ana too...though maybe sometimes too much. Ana is a bit different from Kat so there are some differences in needs, and like Kat can assume incorrectly and overstep boundaries. But generally Kat is pretty good at guessing what her sister needs. On the other hand, Ana is scarily good at knowing what Kat wants and needs in general. She is observant and cautious...though isn't above following Kat's childish/reckless antics...sometimes.

OTP

Debatedly Lulu and Ana but, they're baby. It's too soon to tell. Plus I love platonic stuff. I have mixed feelings about romance in general due to...past experiences. People be taking (romantic) shipping too seriously sometimes. IDK, I'm one to say that Lulu and Ana end up having a very deep intimate connection that doesn't surpass the twins' familial love for each other, but is plenty close enough with snuggles. It's the kinda bond that makes one think "is that romantic?" when they're older but the true answer is a mystery because love comes in all shapes and forms. But that's a me logic.

Kat x ninjutsu #1 ship though. Nothing beats that in regards to the twins besides the twins' love for each other. Life long love, baby!

nOTP

Aside from me saying "i do not care what you create or consume but please keep the non platonic ships involving the girls with anyone who are teenagers and adults when the girls are kindergartners away from me", I'm iffy about shipping Kat and Ana with the Volt boys. They're currently at different developmental levels. I get it could get romantic when they're older, but it's not my cup of tea. Plus, it's probs a me thing but, imagining the twins and volts dating each other simultaneously feels weird. It's hard to pinpoint why for me but I won't be dissing anyone who ships them.

Also I sometimes consider myself Leo x Ana's biggest hater. I mean...I'm ok with it, and very much support the idea of Leo having a crush on her. It's just that he's like a bully to the ninja twins, and probs punched below the metaphorical belt even when trying to figure out that lovey feeling. People shouldn't be rewarded for being a dick to those they have a crush on (or love). But again, do what you want, it's fiction. I get the enemies to lovers thing and people change as they grow. Fans probably ship the two because they aren't shown to be glaring at each other in the GiT gallery. I've thought of Ana and Leo like the Anya x Damien thing from SPY x FAMILY. But I know there are folks who ship Kat x Leo, and that's coo too. And that's waaaay more fitting of the enemies to lovers dynamic.

random headcanon

I could go on all day about what brainworms I have about the twins, but here are the ones I said on this account so I don't repeat myself. And now for two more.

Kat fractures her (left) leg at some point in her life, possibly around the current 'ware period, or older. Definitely from a fight with some baddie (or training gone wrong). Has some agony over "no fighting, training, or rough play for awhile" for about a week. But she recovers quickly enough from it in that time thanks to cartoon logic and the Crygors' help. Based off the fact that my first Kat sticker from Sweet Cosplay Sisters lost her leg. Also she's reckless, and battle happy.

Ana is sensitive to touch and affection. Does not like it when a stranger or person (she doesn't trust) touches or holds her and can cry from it. But being gentle and familiar is comforting and can ease upset feelings or overstimulation. Will often take hugs from Kat and some of the crew, though Kat isn't a big cuddle bug. Ana's the one who initiates most of the affection between herself and Kat.

Seriously, please ask me about the twins, it makes my day. Y'all may also ask questions to the Ana ask blog I made (@/cautiouslittleninja). It'll be like asking Ana herself...kinda...it's unofficial for sure. I want to return to it and all the WarioWare fanfics, comics, and whatnot that's brewing in my brain. But i'm terrified of the fandom. ;w;

unpopular opinion

Repeating what I said earlier, I do not ship Ana and Leo romantically. It seems like shipping the younger twin and the lion boy is popular. I've written and drawn Leo into situations where he's dealing with (an) Ana who doesn't reciprocates his feelings.

Also this is mostly a me thing but I don't like it when people forget the fact that the twins are kindergartners. Like yes the twins are badass, but they aren't teenagers, let them be silly like-KAT NO DON'T POKE THE BEEHIVE.

...You'd think the new voices would help, but people just insist that the twins should only be badasses, no room for kiddy stuff. But I get where they're coming from because the food loving trait is being pushed a lot. It did give me a tragic headcanon that pushes that the twins aren't well off so any chance of eating is treasured. Wait they did canonically state that they had to pay for kindergarten AND THEY LIVE IN A PARK. But yeah, the twins can be badasses and baby. The powerpuff girls did it, so why can't these girls do that too? Actually were the WarioWare writers inspired by the PPG? It's a mystery.

song i associate with them

Barring the excellent Split Screen tune that perfectly encapsulate the twins vibe and the amazing Patchwork title music lovingly played by the twins on recorder, gonna go with Oshiete Yo by Hyorotto Danshi. It's partially due to Gold moving to a more cutesy (chubby) aesthetic for the twins to the point I keep imagining them, Red, Lulu, and Pyoro dancing that animation. But the lyrics fit them and Lulu with the childhood whimsy. I do have a playlist for the twins but I'm not completely sure if it fits completely anymore. Though if I were to remake it, the Baby Shark, Bluey, and Sago Mini (and maybe Pororo) songs stay. I feel the twins got some silly preschooler bones in their bodies.

favorite picture of them

The babies are eepy.

Sorry I've been calling the twins baby a lot. I'm 99% sure Kat hates it. She's a big girl y'all. But the twins are kids, children, sometimes toddlers and littlies. I just find baby easier to say.

[mynameisemma]

I've been brainrotting about Sonya again (very shocking I know) and I decided to write down my thoughts to get rid of the worms in my head.

I think after 4+ years of hyperfixation I'm able to articulate my feelings on Sonya's ending better. I used to think what I felt was pity for her but now I understand it's actually frustration. I'm not mad Sonya didn't marry Nikolai (and given his occasional emotional coldness with the supposed "love of his life" I don't even want to know how he'd treat the woman he never really loved or appreciated) or Dolokhov or anyone. It's the fact that her mistreatment and emotional abuse by the Rostovs (which isn't even subtext you know; it's explicitly said that Sonya's obsession with sacrifices as the way to show her personal worth stems from her position in the Rostovs' household) given no sympathy narratively that makes me mad; it's the fact that Sonya is constantly compared to a pet animal (domestic cat) that makes me mad; it's the fact that Natasha calls her a sterile flower, a useless person in fact, and refuses her the right to feel things as deep and intense as Natasha herself or Marya would, despite the significant role Sonya played in paving these women's road to happiness, that makes me mad.

Yes, I'm aware Sonya's journey in the novel has its own messages and intentions but in my opinion they come across as this typical "if you're homeless just buy a house UwU" privileged view because a) the narrative, again, refuses to treat the fact how much Sonya's background of living in dependency on the people that have been neglecting her for the most part of her life shapes and maims her personality with any nuance and care (unlike Marya's story of abuse was treated) b) the things the narrative "accuses" and "punishes" her for are extremely dumb and hypocritical.

Like how the narrative implies that she's incapable of feeling emotions (or "poetic feelings" if you will) but earlier in the novel we see her overwhelmed with joy, happiness and even pride and it happens when Sonya doesn't think obsessively about the ways to show her gratitude to the Rostovs or actually receives some recognition from the person she loves. How shocking! (no, it's not).

Or how Natasha says Sonya lacks selfishness but the only time she is selfish and hurt and bitter she's punished for not being able to make genuine sacrifice and still hoping/wanting to be with the person she loves.

And what makes me want to rip my hair off is how Sonya strived for the whole novel to be recognised and seen, her character, her very core is about love, her story is about unrequited love. It's not knocking at the close door but throwing yourself against the wall — here I am, please, see me, notice me, I love you, I love you, I love you, I'm worthy of your love — and it's not her failure to win the love of the people she loves that is tragic and infuriating (Sonya refuses to accept this simple and yet painful truth that you can never be "enough" for people that don't love you, little does she know about unconditional love) but the way her silent misery is swept under the rug in-between this family utopia Tolstoy tries to create.

Because we aren't supposed to think too much about domestic cat's thoughts or feelings

[mother-of-houseplants-2]

Hi!!!

New Fiona fan here! But I suppose from what I have read here I should say early seasons Fiona fan?

I watched the uk version years ago and only just started the US one, and I'm only up to season 3.

I went binge reading on ao3 and your fics are golden! Top shelf quality writing, Fiona centric, gut wrenching stuff. I think you are one of, if not the only writers in the Fandom that do her justice.

And give her the credit she deserves.

So....

I have two questions for you, if you feel like answering: in your opinion, which was Fiona's worst self sabotaging instance?

And, does she ever go past the point of no return?

Mind you, I don't much care if there are spoilers in the answers, but the questions are being asked by someone who has watched (as of last night) up to season 3 episode 10ish

hi there! SO sorry for getting back to you so late; i'm finally out of finals hell and can get back to my inbox :)

thank you so much for your kind words! you are so so sweet and i'm genuinely so shocked and happy that my silly little stories resonate with you. thank you for reading !!! <3

i unfortunately will have to spoil quite a bit to answer your questions, but here are my thoughts!

i think fiona's worst self-sabotaging moment comes in season four, when she cheats on her then-boyfriend/boss mike with his brother robbie (who is on-and-off on drugs). he spends several episodes doggedly pursuing her, to kind of a creepy extent, but fiona still seems to find him alluring. she also feels 'safer' with him than mike, which is ironic since mike is the sweetest, most upstanding, kind guy in her life; this seems to be because mike's 'normalcy' scares her, and she admits herself that she doesn't know how to be with him because she's not 'good enough' or 'normal enough' for him. anyways. fiona cheats, gets caught, gets transferred to a different position at her job, is ostracized by her friends and coworkers, and her life comes crashing down. this leads her to end up receiving cocaine from robbie as a 'birthday gift.' fiona leaves it on the table while she's celebrating that night. baby liam gets into it and accidentally puts it in his mouth and overdoses and almost dies. fiona's negligence hurts her baby and she goes to prison. this moment was so so sad and heartbreaking and frustrating for me because she had this really amazing guy but self-sabotaged her own relationship because of her fear of intimacy/normalcy/having good things in her life, and it lead to this huge, terrible spiral that completely shattered her life. she could never have imagined/expected it to go that far, of course, but the fact remains that all of this unfortunately stemmed from her infidelity. season four makes me sob and cry every single time i watch it. fiona's devastating mistake led to some of her worst fears: hurting her kids, losing her stability for them, and having to leave her siblings behind. ughhhhhh, fiona!!!

this is a hard one to answer. i think so many of fiona's mistakes and poor decisions are things i would find unforgivable in real life, but because of the way the narrative of shameless unfolds and the reasoning behind her decisions make me more empathetic towards her. (and also, i love her so i have to admit that i'm biased lol). obviously, liam getting into her coke was an honest mistake, but it still stemmed from her irresponsibility. so although i feel absolutely terrible for her, i just can't see myself being able to forgive her if i was one of her siblings. she also kicks debbie out in season five for getting pregnant, which... i can understand the feelings behind her decision, that doesn't make it morally okay to do something like that to a teenage kid you're supposed to take care of. but i still don't think these are decisions that put her past the point of no return; i think fiona truly goes off the deep end in season nine. her whole life comes crashing down around her (AGAIN) because of some circumstances surrounding her work and love life (this guy named sean) that i do honestly think were out of her control (becoming a landlord notwithstanding). poor fiona spirals into alcoholism as a result. i don't want to demonize her for struggling with addiction, especially as it runs in her family, but this causes her family to essentially give up on her/abandon her. lip kicks her out of the house. fiona decides to leave chicago altogether. i think this was her true 'point of no return' because it showed her that she literally could not return to her old life; in fact, she needed to leave in order to save herself. she could never go back to being the kids' old, familiar fiona, because she had changed too much, and the kids could never accept her for who she had become. she could never go back. so she had to leave.

so sorry for writing you an absolute essay of a response! please forgive me for rambling so much. thank you for reaching out with these questions; as you can see, i had great fun answering them :^)

much love! <3

[2a8n]

Shirogane's dream

I wanted to speculate a bit about Shirogane's dream shown to us in the Ice Scream Original (Round 2), since some of the moments shown will either be redone in the Ice Scream Remake or confirmed in it. And according to the old tradition, I write in advance: "Sorry for the quality", because some screenshots might not turn out in the best quality, but I tried to make them at least better than my previous such screenshots. Well, let's get started!

It all starts with showing the ceiling in one of the rooms of the Ice Cavern and our depressive wolf lying on the bench there. Personally, I would be very scared to be there simply because I would be constantly afraid of one of the icicles falling from the ceiling on me. At the same time, Shirogane can easily be in this pleace, and even more so lie and sleep on the bench there. The other one who was there was a bunny, and that's to arrange a GAME OVER player on the screen.

Next, we are shown the dream itself. It starts all this confusion Suno-san jumping into the middle of the white space like a bunny. At the same time, in Round 3 we will be shown that he can teleport, and also when showing his moving game sprite, we can see a movement that looks more like crawling, but not like a jump. I don't know if this snowman is really capable of moving in as many as 3 distinct ways, or if Suno-san's jumping in this dream is just Shiro's own fantasy.

Note that in Shirogane's dream, squid tentacles appear, a flower dancing at night in the Peraco house, bunnies, and Nekoyama. This tells us that Shiro saw/met all of these things/characters, which is confirmed by the following: 1) In the Remake, Shirogane lies on the snow and sees a Squid, whose tentacles stick out of the water surface; 2) A similar flower stands next to the television in Peraco's house, but it differs from the flower shown in the dream in the absence of a leaf and a thinner stem; 3) There is no need to talk much about bunnies - they can often be seen on Iceberg Isle (as well as Rock running from anger, probably…); 4) And finally, Nekoyama - our cameo from Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea. He can be found in Round 2 delivering cigarettes to Orca. As a result, it can be assumed that the rest of what is shown is also familiar to Shirogane. And this makes me wary:

if our wolf could see a simple fish in the same fishing buckets of Rock, then to consider the moon-fish or those white squids, he would have to dive straight into the water, most likely;

Tori-san can be either a simple easter egg (remember Tori-san's toy in Rocma's house), or a frozen Tori-san that Shirogane once saw;

has Shiro met the Mogekoels? I hope they didn't try to hit him with their arrows while doing so…

the head of a huge white "something" with an outstretched tongue raises many questions in me. Is there a possibility that this is the head of a huge turtle, on which a huge glacier has frozen and, thus, having formed Iceberg Isle, it swims in the northern latitudes, preventing the isle from melting and the inhabitants on its back from dying?

It doesn't surprise me that the phrase "Bad doggy" and Suno-san appear here. I'm more surprise why he uses the parachute of Mogekov Hashasky and… bees on a background.

If there are good Japanese translators with good eyesight, please translate the symbols on the background. I will be very grateful for this. ( v _ v )

Here you can see Peraco's name-calling towards Shiro. I don't know what else to add here.

What did I ever even do? It is this question that our wolf asks when once again the hot-tempered penguin, familiar to all of us, takes out his frustration or anger on him.

Fall - it is unclear only, emotional and/or physical.

Shirogane managed to be a wolf, and a dog, and a bunny, and even a caterpillar in his and others' fantasies. It remains only him managed to be happy in real and then his life was a success! =D

It is noteworthy that the snowman appears here only on the red background. Neither he nor Shiro can be seen on the black background. Because of this, I get the impression (or maybe it's an attempt to convey the impression of the wolf himself) that the talking pissed snow is stalking him and/or watching him quite often…

That's it for now. Yeah, there are some monologues to Shirogane that were later moved to Watch 1 of the Remake, but I want to give them time in a separate post. I will also pin here a video with this very dream from the official DSP channel and a walkthrough of one of the youtubers with this very fragment of the dream game (9:36 - 10:33) in case you yourself want to disassemble it. Until then, see you soon! ;)

[saiwriting]

Thoughts, Thoughts, Blog #10 😆🥳🎊

Our Parents as People

Saiya Soublet

Being lost is not always a terrible thing, but it sure isn't pleasant either.

Sometimes I think about when this country was first founded. In fact, I think about it a lot. In terms of how we got here. In terms of where we're going. The trip from Jamestown all the way to Manifest Destiny always fascinated me because of the way colonists navigated unfamiliar lands with audacity, tenacity, and violence. Of course, I will never write a piece giving any colonizers their credit or glorifying them in any way, but I do think it's worth studying how exactly they navigated being lost in order to find themselves landing in prosperity. Furthermore, do I even follow their lead to a certain extent, or do I go about it in a way that is more enlightened to the new wave of spirituality we see happening now? Either way, I am lost.

Being lost is not fun. Being lost comes with a haziness that is all pervasive, and the anxiety I get for just being asked What are you doing or What's been going on in your life? is immense and pervasive. I cannot answer that question for you. You just have to trust me in this...what I call life purgatory. The thing is this: I don't even think that this lost period of my life is bad or destructive. I have very strong intuitive feelings that not only will I be successful, but I'll also be successful in a way that does not compromise who I am.

I went home to vote for Election Day, and my mom said something that stuck with me. We were talking about the parts of her personality that she feels that she has passed down to each of her children. Oftentimes I like to think that things like that are genetic in some way. I joked and said that I was the part of her that "likes trees," and she agreed. "You're the part of me that likes to take walks and look at trees and plant things, but you also have my love for eating...so you have to do what you need to do to survive." This statement is true. This statement also frustrated me for a few hours. It isn't new that my mom and I have this unspoken conflict between us that stems from me being so much like her and yet not wanting to lead the life she has lived. At this age, she had her first child and yet I sit here with an IUD that is only 2 years old. We are so much alike and yet our lives could not be taking more different paths, so it seems.

My most recent book has been A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. It's made me think a lot about my relationship with my mother: the person I feel as though I have the most to prove to simply because she is also the one who seems to not see my success as it is at the moment. And then after I fell asleep that night after reading a section regarding the way the ego role-plays (i.e. the role of parent), I had a dream that she died. It made me feel a lot when I woke up in the morning. In the dream, I was heaving in grief; I had never doubted my love for my mother but I also couldn't help but notice how my love for her was always covered in a light layer of resentment that she could never just let me do me. Then, it dawned on me.

Eckhart Tolle does an amazing job at highlighting how shrouded parents get in their parental role as a label of who they are as a person. As we know, the ego is very strong in identity-politics and the countless need to give ourselves labels to legitimize the fact that we even exist. Very strongly do we know who our parents are as Mother or as Father, and even sometimes our siblings as well. How well do we know our parents as people though?

To the dismay of teenage and young-adult me, this fact never sat well. But I never took the time to really understand and navigate who she is as a person and not just as my mom. In this chapter, Tolle makes an incredible point that sometimes resentment is fostered in children-towards their parents-who otherwise have had successful lives because they were missing the opportunity to just have their parents be. All they want is to see their parent as being a person. That stuck with me a lot as I ruminated over how I was even going to be successful on my specific path. All my life I have been closed off and stubborn to the vulnerability that my mother sought to have with me both because she did not know how to go about it well and because I did not know how to go about receiving it. I like to think of myself as her hermit-crab child, the one who is much more closed off than the others and yet the softest on the inside. My mother is like a metaphorical lamp on my path through life that has always been notoriously dim to the point of me not being able to see where I am going. If I could just foster a vulnerable conversation with her to treat said lamp and brighten my path, not only is she brighter of a person but she can also help guide me (even if just through unconditional love and support of how I am choosing to live my life).

Beforehand, I was not ready for that.

It has taken a lot for me not to become frustrated at the same person who simply wants best for me, especially since she can see so much of herself in me, as do I see myself in her, but there are parts of her that I have never seen before that are surely also mirrored but need to be uncovered for the sake of fully knowing where to go from there. Those that birth us and precede us can tell us a miraculous amount of information about ourselves before we even reach that part of our spiritual work, but we have to be willing to stare confidently in the mirror and take them for all that they are. Oftentimes, I think about the generation of our parents and how desperately I can see that they just want to talk. They want someone to listen and open them up to the world that they never had or could understand because their parents had not only stifled themselves but their children out of survival and necessity. Had colonizers reached out to fully understand those that preceded them on the land that they came upon, hell, they wouldn't even be called colonizers anymore. They'd be called colleagues.

As the role of daughter, the egoic instinct is to rebel against any of the failures of my mother and her mother and her mother. I would be better off and much more successful if I just avoid their mistakes. What we neglect to realize, however, is that if in spirit we are all the cosmos and Oneness and the Universe experiencing itself, then those lessons are needed now more than ever or we will be doomed to repeat them. I think the ego does a good job of pointing fingers, even if we think that we are doing the "right" thing. I point fingers at my mother, shaming her for never truly understanding me and for burdening me with what mothers do: worrying, catastrophizing, and making sure that we are not them. But we are them. I am her. We are literally the same Being. In understanding more of my mother, I inherently understand more of myself. Not because I will find the missing secret to capitalize on the rest of my life and reach ultimate success, but instead to be more vulnerable and open to the fullness of life. Why keep hiding who we are, both mother and daughter, when we both know the answer?

I love my mother to death and there is never a time that I observe the ways that this egoic world has influenced and transformed the Truth for her without wanting to fix it. My heart constantly reaches out for understanding from her. I am also not responsible for her awakening. The best I can do is love. The best I can do is be a bridge and an expander of the depths of who she is as Joyce instead of just Mom. And in finally opening up, I clarify my soul to see a much better picture of who we are and who we ought to be: everything.