#it’s simply impossible for me to be concise

[yaksha-lover]

Hi! Maybe strange question but you seem to have a good grasp on the boys’ personalities. I’ve been reading a lot of the yanderification of the TWST boys and started wondering which ones (if any) would be most likely to have what could be labeled “yandere” tendencies. Just seems like a fun train of thought to chase.

Do you have any thoughts on this? (Also sorry for the word salad.)

In my opinion, I think it’s pretty easy to twist most of their personalities to fit a yandere type, but as for who’s yandere characterizations are closest to their canon counterparts, I would say:

Malleus, I think is the obvious one. Although clearly I don’t think he’d be yandere in canon, it makes sense for him to have some clingy tendencies in a relationship, and an obsession with his romantic interest. It’s the whole ‘you’re the only person in the world who matters to me’ type trope, because of the social rejection and isolation he’s faced.

People usually take it two ways here, either a) very possessive and jealous or b) very protective. I tend to lean towards the second interpretation (although I love to explore the first one, the second is more canon to me). More ‘I would burn cities to protect you, move heaven and earth to make you happy’ than ‘I want to keep you locked up here all to myself, you belong to me.’ So yes, a yandere Malleus may kidnap you, but only to keep you ‘safe.’ He’s also not as emotionally immature as I think he’s sometimes characterized as (although I’m probably also guilty of this). He’s not really the type to force someone to love him, imo, because he wants it to be genuine (his insecurity stems from an inability to be accepted so forcing it wouldn’t truly fulfill that desire to be loved and validated).

Rook, I think also makes sense, but it’s hard to say because most of the time a lot of his characterization is just played for jokes. Like the whole ‘he’s a stalker, he knows a lot about everyone, others get unnerved by him, etc.’ It’s meant to be funny, but if we take it seriously then we could probably jump to some interesting conclusions about Rook. Also, combined with that ghost bride line about him ‘never letting his beloved go’ -

He seems the type to get fixated on some object of beauty, and I could see that developing into a yandere-like obsession. Maybe if he finally finds the one thing - or person - who he thinks is the true pinnacle of art and beauty, what he’s been searching for all along. Initial stalking to learn more about his interest, some uncomfortable attempts at closeness because he knows everything about them and they know nothing about him. Divided between showing his beloved off to the world and keeping them all nice and pretty for his own enjoyment - the only one who can truly appreciate their beauty. Also, once he’s felt the experience of love, I doubt he’d ever want to live without it. Maybe that’s the ‘true’ beauty of life to him, even.

Jamil is just so apathetic that if he ever did fall for someone, I can’t see him ever giving them up if he can help it. Also, we’ve seen in canon that Jamil isn’t above doing mildly bad things for self-serving interests (think masquerade with ruggie, manipulating the oblivious students).

He just wants something nice and soft for himself. Is that so much to ask for, after all he’s been through? Jamil is never allowed to have anything, nothing that Kalim doesn’t. It’s no wonder he’d cling to the only sweet thing he can get his hands on, something just for him. Even if you’re frustrated with him, even if you get tired of him, he isn’t so willing to just let you go. He deserves something nice like you, and you’ll be happy with him, even if you might need a ‘charming’ reminder of it sometimes.

Lastly, Jade and Floyd are popular yanderes to write for a reason. They both already have so much inexplicably unhinged energy even compared to the rest of the cast (other than maybe Rook). Jade seems so cold and apathetic, while putting on a mask of care. Floyd doesn’t really care to do so, wearing his many moods on his sleeve. But they’re still two sides of the same coin; they’re used to getting whatever they want, often by questionable means.

They also seem like they would be pretty possessive, even if it comes out in different ways. Jade and Floyd may be good at sharing with each other, but they’ve never been good at sharing with anyone else. Floyd will show you (and whoever thinks it’s okay to encroach on his partner) how upset he is by this particular development. I doubt you’d want to keep it up when he threatens your friends that get a little too close. Jade is different; the same annoyance and possessiveness still burns him, but he has a little more patience than Floyd. He isn’t willing to start any fights. Jade prefers not to get his hands dirty, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have other tactics to scare away anyone who tries to flirt with you.

[kaedekolya]

alien stage "cure" lyric translations

i've been losing my mind over how poetic the korean lyrics are, so i tried translating them a little more closely to the original! there are so many implications and so much nuance that it's simply impossible to fully convey them in english, due to vocab and syntax differences, so there will be a ton of translation notes below. please cry over this tragic pair with me :")

[ disclaimer: i am in no way trying to imply that the official translations are subpar, because they're actually really good — it's difficult to convey the full extent of meaning while remaining concise enough for closed captions! i just want to share my own take on the original lyrics ^^ ]

r o u n d 6 — c u r e

Please permit me, till the tips of your hands Please permit me, till the tips of your feet I wish for you to melt me within your eyes I don't want to lose you I plead of you, inflict wounds upon me I plead of you, make it so that I am hurting Until not a single drop of me remains I dissolve in you Till these stars, which will crumble Buried within eternity, which will fade into a blur At the edge of your frigid lips Read me, please That's right, me Even the sharp words you gave me Even if they leave scratches beneath my eyes I wish they remain upon your tongue Even if everything is shattered, it's okay Now, please, look at my wounds Now, please, cure me Just so that my unease may be dampened So that I dissolve into you Above these nights, which will be drawn Screaming into the silence, which will collapse Within your pupils that gaze at me Drink me, please That's right, me This song without an end Towards each other, we dance Our story, buried within eternity Till these stars, which will crumble Buried within eternity, which will fade into a blur At the edge of your frigid lips Read me, please That's right, me Above these nights, which will be drawn Screaming into the silence, which will collapse Within your pupils that gaze at me Drink me, please That's right, me

[ translation notes below the cut. ]

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translation notes

"please permit me"

허락해줘, please grant me permission; implying the person Till is singing to (henceforth Mizi, for brevity) has authority over him.

"I wish for you to..." vs "I wish..."

a slight difference in conjugation; Till wishes that Mizi will do that action for him, whereas Ivan simply wishes for things to be a certain way.

"I don't want to lose you"

놓치다, to lose something or someone by missing them or failing to catch them; implies less agency and control than "to let go."

"I plead of you, inflict wounds upon me" / "I plead of you, make it so that I am hurting"

부디, implying an earnest entreaty, a fervent plea. here, the conjugation has Till asking Mizi to give him wounds, and give him pain.

"I dissolve in you" vs "so that I dissolve into you"

there is no exact translation for 물들다 (conjugated into 물들어 and 물들게 in the lyrics), but picture this: watercolour paints soaking into a white canvas, permeating across it, imbuing it. difference in adpositions: Till says 너로, indicating "by" or "with," whereas Ivan says 네게 (너에게), indicating "to" or "towards". so for Till, Mizi is the colour and he is the canvas, whereas for Ivan, he is the colours that are spreading towards Till. difference in conjugations: Till says 물들어, in present tense and active voice, while Ivan says 물들게 [하다], to make a certain state happen (note that this is different from the ~ㄹ 게 conjugation that indicates future intention). Ivan is saying please notice my pain and heal it, so that I permeate into you, which would then quieten my unease.

"which will crumble" / "which will fade into a blur"

the ~ㄹ conjugation here is a future indicative tense; the action it describes will happen, the state it describes will come to be. 무너질, "will crumble;" to fall by crumbling, crumpling, caving in, breaking down. 흐려질, "will grow blurry;" i chose to translate this as the more poetic "fade into a blur."

"buried within eternity"

묻힌, from 묻히다, to be buried; this word can also mean "to be stained," giving the phrase an alternative meaning of "stained upon eternity."

"read me, please" / "that's right, me"

the official translation says "read my soul," which might indicate the meaning that the creators intended, but the original korean lyrics only says "me." "그래," which i translated as "that's right," can be used in many contexts with varying nuance; it is an acknowledgement and a simple, light agreement. in some contexts, it can be perfunctory, in others, it can be an acceptance.

"even if the sharp words you gave me" / "even if they leave scratches beneath my eyes"

here, Ivan is downplaying the extent of hurt that Till has inflicted upon him. Till may use sharp-edged language, but Ivan describes these words as being given to him, almost as if they are a gift, implying he treasures every word Till throws his way. the word used for "scratches" is often used to describe scrapes left by fingernails; shallow, surface-level wounds.

"even if everything is shattered, it's okay"

부숴, from 부수다, to break, smash, shatter. the official translation says "you can break me apart," which might reflect the meaning that the creators intended, but since the subject and object can be omitted in korean and still be grammatically correct, this sentence doesn't indicate the subject that is doing the breaking or the object that is being broken apart.

"now, please, look at my wounds" / "now, please, cure me"

the word for "wounds," 상처, can also be used to refer to scars, but i chose the former to indicate the open wounds that Ivan wishes Till will cure.

"just so that my unease may be dampened"

그저, "just," implying that Ivan doesn't want for much, he is only asking for this small and simple wish. 불안, unease. it's not quite as intense as "fears," though it can be an indicator of it; it's closer to worries or anxieties. 가라앉도록, from 가라앉다, to sink, to subside, to become subdued.

"above these nights, which will be drawn"

그려질, from 그려지다, to be drawn, like a sketch or painting.

"screaming into the silence, which will collapse"

the more accurate conjugation would be "screamed," but i went with "screaming" for a smoother flow. 쓰러질, "will collapse;" to fall by collapsing, fainting, passing out.

"within your pupils that gaze at me"

translating it as "eyes" would probably read smoother, but the korean lyrics use the specific word 눈동자, meaning the pupil of the eye.

"drink me, please"

the official translation says "consume me," but 마시다 (original lyric 마셔줘) means "drink." it's simple and fluid, not as forceful as "consume" or "swallow." once again, Ivan never uses harsh or violent language to describe Till's actions.

"this song without an end"

i intentionally chose this syntax to emphasise the lack of an end, and to more closely mirror that of the original. it can also be translated as "this endless song."

"towards each other, we dance"

향해, towards, indicating direction. the official translation, "face to face," can be inferred from the word, but i like the idea of them dancing towards each other, going towards each other, as if drawn together in each other's orbit. (also, the irony that in reality, it is only Ivan doing so, only Ivan going towards Till; Ivan sings this line, like he wishes it were the case, like he wishes it were mutual, even as he knows it is not.)

"our story, buried within eternity"

in the previous instance of the phrase "buried within eternity," the object is not specified. here, the clause is completed with 채, meaning "the state of." specifically, this line would be "our story, in the state of being buried within eternity."

[ and that's it — thank you for reading! please note that this is mostly a line-by-line translation, as the original lyrics are composed of distinct clauses that connect in meaning, but not in grammar. the official translation wove the clauses together in proper sentences, whereas my translation mirrors the scattered discontinuity of the korean lyrics. ]

[lastoneout]

like real people do

Fandom: Pokemon Legends Arceus Rating: M Warnings: None Relationship(s): Professor Laventon/Captain Cyllene Word Count: 5,115

Summary:

During a late night at work, Captain Cyllene reveals to Professor Laventon that she's never been kissed. The two of them decide to do something about it. (A/N: This fic is only about 99% finished, but as it's been that way for several years now I figure it's time to stop keeping what I do have done all to myself. I've inserted explanations where the missing paragraphs are, so you should have all the context you need, there's just some missing prose.)

[The start was supposed to be something about two recruits getting caught making out and being punished for it, and then later that night, after everyone has gone home, Laventon and Cyllene are chatting and it comes up, at which point she says something about the recruits being careless or foolish, which leads into...]

"Yes, well," Laventon chuckles nervously, "the allure of such activities can pose quite the distraction at times."

Cyllene doesn't look at him, instead focusing on the papers in her hands, nimbly tapping the bottom of them against her desk and shifting them together so they fall into order with a satisfying thwhip, before placing them on the stack in front of her, all the corners lined up as uniform as soldiers, not a single page out of place.

"I wouldn't know," she says, the sentence as purposeful as her hands, not a word more or less than strictly needed in her usual clear, firm tone, though there is an unmistakable touch of something quite foreign to her voice—shame. 

Laventon's own embarrassment flares in response, and in his haste to correct his faux pas his words come in a veritable tsunami, starkly contrasting her concise reply. "O-oh, apologies Captain, I didn't mean to make assumptions! Enjoying things of that nature is far from a universal experience, t-theres hardly any reason to feel ashamed of not being interested, in fact, I'd say there's no reason at all-" 

"You misunderstand," she interrupts, "my inexperience is not due to a lack of interest on my part. There's simply never been anyone who reciprocates." 

That stops him dead in his tracks, his mind struggling with the idea that not a single person has ever found the Captain charming enough to so much as kiss, and before he can stop himself that doubt slips out. "Surely that's impossible-"

Her eyes at last meet his, her gaze sharp and cold, giving him the distinct impression that he's made an entirely different sort of blunder. "I don't make a habit of lying, Professor." 

"Of course," he agrees, calming his tone to hopefully convey his own honesty, "Of course, I apologize, that was insensitive of me. I've only ever known you to be truthful, I didn't mean to suggest otherwise."

Cyllene nods, silently accepting his apology. 

Still, Laventon has never been one to leave well enough alone—if he was he doubts he'd have lasted long in his line of study—and his disbelief fades into a strong flare of indignation, lashing out at the very idea that no one has ever deemed Cyllene worthy of their desire. "I just find it difficult to believe that you've faced such stark rejection," he continues. "Forgive me for overstepping, but anyone would be quite lucky to find themselves the object of your affection, Captain." 

A breath of silence passes between them as she searches his gaze, but before he can be sure of what she's looking for—or if she found it—her eyes drop to the desk in front of her and she politely replies, "That's kind of you to say." 

"I mean it! The people who have turned you down were surely fools. I wouldn't bother taking their misguided opinions personally."

"Indeed," she says, her tone barely on the courteous side of dismissive, and she stands, further signaling her disinterest in continuing this discussion. "Regardless of anyone's opinion of me or the reasoning behind it, I am incapable of fully understanding why a person would be so taken with desire that they ignore their duties, and even if I was, I doubt I'd agree. Aside from the separation of one's work and personal lives..." she pauses then, the first sign of uncertainty slipping past her ironclad control, "I imagine such activities would be better enjoyed when one has ample time to spend on them. Pleasure can be quite rare in this world, surely the haste and risk of interruption cheapens what I assume would be an otherwise pleasant experience."

Laventon nods, and while he knows it would be best to leave well enough alone, but the moment has left him flustered and anxious, and he can't seem to stop himself from rambling on in a hapless attempt to return to normalcy. "That is a fair point, though I can assure you, desire can be quite overwhelming at times, driving one to indulge in any spare moment they can.” He pauses, letting out a thankfully more composed laugh and shaking his head. “In truth, some even find the threat of discovery rather enticing in its own way.” 

"Again," she reiterates, her silent insistence that they drop the subject becoming decidedly less polite, "I wouldn't know." 

And yet, against all odds, he opens his mouth once more. "Well, it's not entirely impossible to change that, with the right help, of course."

Silence falls again, their faces both slowly turning red as the implication of his words settles over them, heavy and impossible to ignore. 

Laventon almost immediately wants to say something—anything—but the words at last refuse to come, dancing just out of reach as his mind sorts through the mess of emotions churning in his chest that only grow stronger and stronger with each passing second. 

He's embarrassed first and foremost, how could he not be, offering to kiss his Captain like some sort of lecherous fool? Even if he hadn’t meant anything disrespectful by it—he’s always been eager to make himself useful—it was still incredibly rude and he should absolutely apologize, but before so much as a simple “I’m sorry” can make it past his lips something else captures his attention, an enticing feeling disarmingly close to interest simmering under his remorse.

Would he be interested in acting on his accidental offer? Perhaps he would. Cyllene is quite beautiful, and a lovely person to boot. Even if it was just to help her gain experience, a friend helping a friend, kissing her...well, as he looks at her now lucky hardly feels like the right word. Perhaps offering in the first place was a senseless move, but backing out should she accept, that would truly be a foolish mistake indeed. 

"Forgive me, Professor," she starts, her words no less purposeful despite the uncharacteristic shyness weighing them down, "but do you mean to offer...?"

"Yes," he replies without so much as a moment's hesitation. 

"I see." 

Neither of them move, a strange, nerve-wracking, tempting feeling building in the air. Anticipation, like the crackle before thunder, or the second after one only barely dodges a pokemon attack. Unsafe, perhaps, but exhilarating nonetheless, and prone to leave one with a craving for more.

Still, despite his now quite ardent interest, the sense that he's made an ass of himself finally becomes impossible to ignore, and his practiced courtesy—as well as his desire to stay in the Captain's good graces—wins out. "Apologies, Captain, I don't mean to, t-there's no pressure, of course. I just, you deserve to experience things, if you'd like to, that is, and I- I'd be honored to be your first, or, uh- if you wanted me to h-help you-" 

Cyllene still doesn't respond, but that's not a yes any more than it's a no, so he firmly shuts his mouth, giving her the time and space she needs to decide.

And decide she does, just a moment later. "Alright." 

Laventon is too shocked to be anything but almost manically enthusiastic. "Brilliant! Well, there's no rush, of course, you just let me know when-"

"Now seems appropriate," she replies, seemingly ignorant of the contradiction of their setting—or, perhaps, it's more that she's stubbornly refusing to acknowledge it at all.

He almost points it out, but the building is empty and they're both nearly done with the day's work anyway, and he's far to taken to do anything but play along. "I couldn't agree more!" 

Cyllene gives him an odd, almost amused look, before coming around her desk slowly, each step closer making his heart race all the faster, until she's standing in front of him and his pulse is so intense he begins to worry he may pass out. 

Because goodness, she's far more beautiful than he ever noticed now that he's really paying attention, now that she's close, her face tilted up ever so slightly so she can maintain eye contact. He was wrong, he realizes, lucky doesn't even begin to cover whatever kind twist of fate has blessed him of all people with the chance to kiss someone like her. 

"As I said," she starts, her voice confident, yet quiet and intimate, a conflicting display that leaves him reeling, "I'm inexperienced, so I trust that you'll take the lead?" 

"Yes, of course. Leave all that to me." 

"Thank you. I'm ready when you are." 

Cyllene tilts her head again and lets her eyes fall closed, and while the angle is a bit wrong and there's a blush staining her pale cheeks he takes a moment to marvel at her nerve, envious that she can face something like this so fearlessly. 

He owes her no less than the same, he decides, and quickly brings a hand to her jaw to gently shift her face to the correct position before leaning down, his own eyes falling closed as his lips make contact with hers. 

It's slow, chaste—nothing more than a gentle bit of pressure—but his heart still skips a beat. She's warm, and so very soft, and though this isn't about him or a precursor to any other activities, he can't help the wave of desire that crashes over him, making him crave more.

He reminds himself to resist it. He's a gentleman—or at the very least a decent person—after all and Cyllene is his Captain as well as someone he considers a friend, he'd never risk ruining that bond by disregarding her consent. Besides, doing such a thing would sour the experience beyond salvage, and he already knows he wants to savor every second of this, commit it to memory so he can revisit it again as often as he'd like. 

His desire only grows at sight that greets him when he breaks the kiss; Cyllene's slate-blue eyes half-lidded as she gazes back at him, the blush on her cheeks far darker than it was before. 

Still, she's as honest as ever. "Interesting." 

"Interesting?"

"It wasn't at all unpleasant," she explains, "but I hardly think it's alluring enough to distract one at inopportune times." 

Even years later he'll struggle to understand exactly why he opened his mouth again, but that doesn't change the fact that he quickly replies, "Well, that was just a small kiss. The...distracting ones tend to be a lot more intense, to put it mildly." 

"I would assume they must be...still, I can’t imagine the difference is that profound." 

“I assure you, it is,” he chuckles awkwardly, face flushing, "though I must admit I’m not entirely sure how to describe it..."

Another beat of silence, and then, "Show me." 

"Oh!" he practically squeaks, feeling himself begin to drown in dual blinding panic and overwhelming desire to fulfill her request. "A-alright, as you wish. Just, uh, follow my lead, but do speak up if you want to s-stop, of course, and...feel free to- um, you know, take the reins, if you'd like." 

"Understood." 

Laventon keeps things simple at first, gently guiding her to move her lips against his while mostly closed, before finally parting his, heart hammering when she follows suit. 

He goes slowly, giving her as much time as possible to get used to things, but despite that less than a second after his tongue presses past her lips she lets out a shocked sound and jumps back, falling into a stiff stance nearly a full foot away from him. She tries to recover, or at least act natural, and nearly manages it, but the bright crimson blush coloring her face and the hand she's holding over her mouth betray her true feelings. 

"I'm sorry," he starts nervously, holding his hands up apologetically, "That's just um, how this s-sort of thing works..." 

"I know that," she practically snaps, letting her hand awkwardly fall to her side. 

He's not sure he entirely believes her, but either way he chooses to shoulder the blame. "Regardless, I should have warned you." She looks as if she can't decide if she agrees or not, so he continues, "Anyway, the last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable, Captain, and you've had a kiss now so, we can stop-" 

She shakes her head, some of her nervousness fading. "I don't want to stop. It was...simply an unfamiliar sensation, and it caught me by surprise."

"Are you quite sure? I don't want you to feel pressured-"

"I don't feel pressured, or uncomfortable, and I'm sure. If you're willing to continue, then so am I," she insists, starting to sound almost close to eager, and a fair bit more confident.

He nods. "Yes, I- um, I'm willing." 

Cyllene steps closer and tilts her head up once more, her stance more relaxed, though still guarded. "I'm ready." 

"Alright." 

This time Laventon tries to go even slower, to keep things progressing as naturally as possible, but in an apparent effort to maintain her composure she swings so far in the other direction that she hardly reacts at all when things move forward. It's undeniably awkward, leaving him feeling a bit like he's just poking at a statue, but soon enough she pushes past whatever is keeping her frozen and hesitantly moves in tandem with him.

It's still awkward, as she has no idea what she's doing, but the two of them have always worked well together and she's a quick study, and when she finally starts to get the hang of it the sensation that he lacked the words to describe begins to build up warm in his chest. It drives home how right he was, at least in his opinion, as even the slightest hint that she may agree to it would surely make the temptation to come do this with her at even the most inappropriate times incredibly distracting, to say the very least. 

And goodness soon distracting isn't even enough to cover it, because as the awkwardness fades and she becomes more confident, more bold—and almost desperate, needy, like she's waited her whole life for this moment and doesn't plan on passing up even a second of it now that it's come—his sense starts to leave him completely, the desire for more cementing itself firm in his chest. It makes his face burn and heart stutter and fingers flex at his side, barely resisting the urge to reach out, wrap her in his arms, and pull her close. If he can hardly hold his ground against that small temptation right now, knowing this was just on the other side of the door, waiting for him...heavens it would be like dangling water in front of a man dying of thirst. Far too cruel to even dwell on for long. 

Thankfully that train of thought is quickly swept away, because after a particularly arousing slide of her lips against his she suddenly tilts her head a bit more, letting herself get even closer, before reaching up of her own volition and gently resting her hands against his chest, her fingers hesitantly taking hold on his vest. 

It's almost overwhelming how instantly consumed by her presence he feels, and all at once he realizes that perhaps it's not just the kissing that he likes—though that is incredibly nice and she's becoming rather good at it unfairly quickly and it's sating his own baser needs exceptionally well—no perhaps what he truly likes is kissing her.

Just then, as if to convince him, she lets out a soft noise, something small right at the back of her throat, and leans in just a bit more, her fingers tightening their grip on his vest. It's beautiful, perfect, and for a moment the lustful desire gives way for pure, honest, burning affection. It's all the confirmation he needs. 

He likes her.

Oh, good heavens, he likes her. 

How had he not realized it before? They've known each other for years by now and have spent nearly every day together, surely he should have noticed that his feelings had drifted beyond platonic at some point. What point even was it? When had he started to appreciate her not as a coworker and captain, but as a companion? Someone he wanted around not merely because they share a common goal or mutual respect, but simply because it's her and things don't feel right if she's not beside him? Perhaps it all just happened so slowly, so naturally, that it hardly even registered until now, when it's finally right in front of him and impossible to ignore. 

Those people she spoke of, the ones who turned her down? They truly were fools. How could they not see how blessed they were? Laventon counts himself as fortunate just to share this moment with her, to be trusted so deeply that she isn't afraid to accept his help, to be able to stand close and truly take in how gorgeous she is, and yes, to kiss her, to hope that he's making her feel just as good as he does. To relish in it all, no matter how briefly, with a person he cares so very deeply for. If she even slightly returned these newfound emotions? He'd feel like the luckiest person alive. 

Pulling away is harder than it has any right to be, but when the time comes he manages, though he goes slowly, selfishly lingering in every last precious second until they're finally parted. 

"Do you understand now?" he asks softly, torn between staring into her eyes and gazing down at her lips, both sights overwhelming in their own way. 

Cyllene shakes her head, though he gets the distinct—and flattering—feeling that she’s chosen now to finally be dishonest. "It's...enjoyable," she explains, voice breathless and halting, "but I don't see how it's distracting-" 

Once again, he opens his mouth, caving to the desire to drag this moment out. "Well, admittedly, you t-typically get much- um, closer, than this..." 

"Closer?" she asks, a hint of urgency in her voice as she looks down at their bodies. They aren’t touching aside from her hands resting on his chest, but they’re still barely inches apart. 

"Yes." 

Cyllene wastes no time stepping forward until they're pressed flush against one another, forcing him to swallow nervously as his heart threatens to give out completely. "Like this?" she asks, meeting his gaze to confirm she hasn't misunderstood.

"Yes, s-sometimes or...almost." Because yes, often this is as close as couples bother getting, but no matter how much of her he has it's still not enough, and his eyes drift over to her desk beside them, though his voice one again fails him, as he's far too embarrassed with himself to explain. 

But she follows his gaze and puts the pieces together, and rather than be offended or embarrassed, she instead barely takes a moment to consider it before she steps past him and in one smooth movement hops up onto the thing, spreads her legs to make room, and yanks him close once more. 

"Like this?"

"Yes," he breathes, or tries to, anyway, it's become rather hard to pull in air past the overwhelming everything threatening to drown him completely. 

Cyllene lets the moment linger, her eyes dragging over his face, staring into his own eyes before drifting lower to his lips. "I can see how this is more intimate..." she admits quietly. 

"Indeed," he agrees, though as he continues his thoughts fight his attempt to put them into proper words. "I've found that the uh- the i-intimacy...it, well, a-accentuates the experience greatly." 

She leans a bit closer. "Would it be alright if I once again asked for your-"

"Yes," he interrupts, no longer caring how desperate he might sound. "I'd be happy to help." 

"Thank you." 

He waits with bated breath for her to close the distance between them once more, but she pauses, her gaze drifting up past his eyes. Her hand follows, delicately sliding along his cheek, tracing the edge of his hat before pushing past it ever so slightly, the tips of her fingers just barely grazing his curls. "May I...?" 

"Of course." 

“Alright,” she replies, before reaching up with her other hand to gently pull the knitted cap off his head and set it aside. 

Laventon flushes, feeling strangely bare without it. Not that he wears it for modesty reasons, it’s simply because he's always been more sensitive to the cold than the average person, but given the situation, he feels exposed and vulnerable. The feeling eases, however, when Cyllene's hands return to his head, one traveling up to run through his hair, the other cupping his jaw, her thumb grazing his beard. 

He can't suppress a sigh at the sensation, and he leans into her touch, letting his eyes fall shut. 

"Do you enjoy this?" she asks. 

He nods slowly, not wanting to dislodge her hands or discourage her touch. "Most people do." 

"I see." 

She continues her exploration, and she pulls her hand away from his hair before sliding it back through, this time grazing his scalp with her nails before making a loose fist and pulling ever so slightly. Despite how gentle it is he can't stop the small, appreciative whimper from escaping his throat, or his face from flushing bright red as it does. Thankfully she doesn't ask him to elaborate this time, though she certainly takes note of it, and she uses her grip on his hair to tug him into another kiss. 

This one is instantly far more heated than the previous ones, neither of them even remotely interested in going slow. Her hands move, wrapping around his shoulders, though she can't help but return to his hair, sliding her fingers up the back of his neck before slowly tangling them in the short curls there. It nearly makes him moan, but he swallows it back, only briefly concerned about how well she's pressing his buttons. 

The worry passes, however, as she next tightens her thighs around him ever so slightly, the pressure emptying his mind and cracking enough of his resolve that he finally touches her, letting his trembling hands come to rest on her sides, just above her hips. Even with the layers of her uniform between them he can tell she's warm and soft here too, but as good as it is it's not nearly enough, not anymore, and he can't stop himself from letting his hands slide a bit higher and then around to settle against the small of her back before using the leverage it grants him to pull her even closer. 

She seems to like it, breaking their kiss for just a moment to let out a soft, gorgeous gasp. He gets a quick look at her as she does, and his heart all but stops at the sight. In all the years they've worked together he's never seen her this disheveled before, her hair messy, face flushed, chest heaving, and it's so beautiful he almost—almost—wants to stop kissing her just so he can drink it in uninterrupted.

But then she closes the distance once more and he decides looking isn’t enough, no he wants to see if he can make it worse. Find out what she likes, exactly where and how to hold her, touch her, kiss her, and then dedicate all of Almighty Dialga's time to doing it right, giving her everything she wants until she's a shaking, trembling mess in his arms-  

All at once Laventon feels a familiar heat in his gut and tightness in his pants, and what little sense he has left breaks through the haze, his face burning as he realizes his body is well ahead of him on this one. Embarrassed panic quickly starts to overtake his mind as he prays to any god that's listening that she won't notice. Sure, it is only natural that he would find all of this incredibly arousing, but that's not what this is supposed to be about. It's about helping her gain experience, not his own idiotic lust, and he loathes the idea of her discovering how little control he has over himself and becoming uncomfortable—or offended—because of it. 

So he pulls away, faster than he probably should, but still slow enough that he can play it off as natural. Regardless she chases after him, her eyes only opening when that proves unsuccessful, and heavens, the look on her face—not offended or uncomfortable but confused, disappointed—nearly makes him cave and pull her back in. 

"Do you understand n-now?" he asks instead, thankful his breathlessness hides how nervous he is. 

Cyllene looks lost, her eyes clouded as they search his, and it takes her a long moment to process that this encounter is ending and actually answer his question. 

"This was...enlightening," she says, her flush darkening as she becomes more and more aware of how intense the two of them let things get. "I have much to consider..." 

It isn't a yes, but somehow makes him feel as if he's done a better job. “Well, I’m glad I could...be of service,” he replies clumsily, unsure of what else to say.

Her blush only grows more intense, and rather than respond she glances away and slowly loosens her hold on his vest. 

Laventon decides to keep quiet as best he can, as he’d rather not make things any more awkward than they already are, and instead he steps back and offers his hand to help her hop down from her desk. She takes it with a polite nod, and his heart skips a beat at the feel of her hand in his, the gentle pressure of her weight against him as she slides to the ground intimate in its own way. When she’s standing she turns her focus to her outfit and hair, hastily fixing both until she looks mostly presentable. He doesn’t bother putting his hat back on, as he feels more than warm enough without it, and simply shoves it into the pocket of his coat. 

Besides, the cool night air should help with his...situation. Speaking of which, he begins to panic anew, and in a rush to maintain some semblance of dignity, he hastily shrugs his labcoat off entirely, draping it over his arm and holding it close so the bulk of it hides his lower body from view. 

Cyllene gives him an odd look, but before she can put the pieces together he jumps in, “I suppose I should leave you to your night.” 

“Yes...and I should leave you to yours,” she replies slowly. “Thank you for humoring me, Professor. I appreciate your assistance, and your patience.” 

“It was my pl- or, u-um, I’m glad to help, truly.” 

“I also would appreciate your discretion regarding this matter.” 

“Of course! That goes without saying.” 

“Good.” 

Silence falls between them, and while Laventon knows he needs to leave, his feet refuse to obey him, followed closely by his mind, now once again caught up in his new-found feelings regarding Cyllene, namely how beautiful she is and how much he desperately wishes he could stay in her company a bit longer. Not even for lustful reasons--though that desire certainly hasn’t let go of it’s hold on him--no, he finds himself wondering what it would be like if they were a couple, if he was here not for...whatever this all was, but so that he could escort her home, or perhaps to their home. He’s not sure he could ever be so lucky, but the thought fills him with longing all the same. 

“Professor?” Cyllene asks, snapping him back to reality. 

“Yes! Sorry, I uh- lost my train of thought there for a moment,” he replies quickly, shoving away his useless fantasies. “Well, do take care on your way home tonight, Captain.” 

“I shall, and you as well.” 

“Certainly. Goodnight then, Captain.” 

“Goodnight, Professor.” 

He gives something between a respectful nod and a half-bow before making a combee-line for his office door, already planning to clean up and head home as fast as humanly possible, but he freezes in place when Cyllene calls out, “Professor, wait...” 

Laventon turns to face her, grasping onto the last of his composure as best he can. “Yes?” 

She takes a moment before responding, her eyes drifting to the wall behind his head, like she can’t quite bring herself to look directly at him. “If, in the future, I should...wish to gain further experience in this area, would it be alright if I once again asked for your assistance?” 

He nearly faints right there, only barely stopping himself from falling over or making a complete fool of himself by offering to immediately provide any assistance she might desire—either here or perhaps somewhere more private. 

“Of course,” he replies honestly, praying he sounds coherent, or at least not like the lustful fool he apparently is deep down. “I would be happy to help.” 

“Thank you,” she nods, finally glancing back at him. “Well then, goodnight...for now.” 

Laventon hangs on her last two words and all they imply like a lifeline. “Goodnight.” 

Cyllene nods once more before turning back to her desk, her hands nimbly gathering the last of her paperwork, and he leaves her to it, quickly ducking into his own office to do the same. 

He lets out a breath once he’s within the safety of his personal space and tosses his coat and hat over onto his kotatsu, no longer needing the protection they offer, but as he starts to close the door something stops him. He isn’t sure what, exactly, his mind is far too muddled to make sense of what he’s feeling anymore, but it leaves him standing there all the same, his shaking hand lingering on the doorknob. Perhaps it’s habit—after all, he tends to leave it open during the day—or perhaps there’s a finality to it that he doesn’t want to evoke, or...or maybe he simply doesn’t want to be parted from Cyllene just yet, even if only by a single door. 

He shakes his head, dismissing his racing thoughts and prying his hand off the knob, leaving the door cracked ever so slightly. 

[He then heads home and like Idk something something a few days pass and then Cyllene drags Laventon into a closet and makes out with him because she gets it now or something???? I genuinely cannot remember where I was going with the ending.]

[somany-fandoms-solittle-time]

In A Sentimental Mood: A Ruggie/Yuu Oneshot

Some quick Housekeeping! This was originally meant to be a song-fic but the only time I remembered to/felt inspired to write was nearly the middle of the night (as writers do lol) so I didn’t have enough mental energy to splice the lyrics together into the story. Instead, I listened to the song on repeat while writing, like, HALF of the fic but I thought it was cute enough to fit the vibes. The narrator's voice and descriptions were hard to keep consistent as well as concise, but whatever. I don’t think I properly matched Ruggie’s speech pattern but I think it’s close enough to ‘random, working class teenager’ for now.

Also! It’s an X Yuu but I’m pretty sure I used all GN! Pronouns so please feel free to read it as an X Reader (who’s the Ramshackle Perfect). It felt kinda awkward to not describe the character or use open descriptors (like Y/N, HC, etc.) but feel free to add any notes or styles to try out for an open reader audience. Honestly feel free to comment or message any feedback lol! I don’t have a beta reader atm (I might ask either my gf or my IRL friend who’s also into TWST) but it could be fun to have a random stranger react to my writing so they’re disconnected from personal feelings and whatnot.

 I have a fic introducing my oc a little interacting with the Pop Music Club, but it’s making out to be longer than expected so between writing for my own AU/ocs story I’ll be posting cute lil song-fics as well as crackhead interactions lol! Maybe a few headcanons as well. I’m not sure if I would have ever actually started writing fanfics (or writing in general) instead of simply daydreaming about it if it wasn’t for @twst-beam and @krenenbaker , so a quick dedication for them for lowkey lighting a fire under my ass. Not only have you opened the creative floodgates, but actually gave me the motivation to actually TRY and put it into action. Anyway…. ON TO THE STORY BITCHES!!! ENJOY THE THE SWEET HYENA BOY (who weirdly looks exactly like my Boyfriend, lol) AND COME REALISH IN THE CHAOS~

In A Sentimental Mood:

A Ruggie/Yuu one-shot

It had been a long day. Scratch that–it had been the longest year of Ruggie Bucchi and Yuu’s life! However, there was something especially trying these last 24 hours. Maybe it had something to do with how this was the first day off the both had (that lined up) in w e e k s and they STILL BOTH got called in to run some nonsensical errand. Or maybe it’s because when the First Year Squad were supposed to be babysitting Grim the entire first floor of Ramshackle got absolutely trashed. 

Something about stupid bets, idiotic magic competition, and a prolonged chase. Afterwards, Rugs and Yuu had to help clean up! The aftermath of the wreckage was too much for the Hodge Podge group of freshmen.

What really topped the day off was the mission impossible scheme the couple failed to pull off. Originally, the two were simply planning to “borrow” on one Leonas (numerous) credit cards while the latter was passed out for an all-expenses-paid date out. It’s not like they were about to rob the second prince blind! Just a few trips to their usual thrifting stops, maybe hassle with a local boutique and then some semi-fancy free grub. 

Instead they got caught two shops in when they decided to grab some food before being totally weighed down by paper shopping bags. Since they had a later start, Yuu suggested getting dinner to the new uppity wine-and-dine.

“C’mon Rugs~ When are we gonna have another chance to dine like Kings? And on a Royal Dime at that!” they foolishly (but successfully) tempted the poor Hyena into a little more Mischievous than the two realized.

Too bad their Dinner Date got cut short from one of the waiters recognizing the Sunset Savannah Royal Seal on Leona’s card. It took an hour and a half of being corralled into a backroom, 3 ominous threats of calling the police, snarky back talk and just general arguing before Leona strutted into the Restaurant and vouched for his underclassmen. Seeing the lazy Lion not only WAKE UP, but come off campus was a bit of a surprise for the thief couple. 

What wasn’t as surprising was his smug, diva face while declaring that they would need to pay him back for disturbing his nap. After hasty, and admittedly sheepish, promises to the Prince, he collected his missing card and strutted back to campus. Luckily, he was secretly a bit of a softy towards his unofficial Vice and the magicless Perfect that saved his life (and probably his status for not ratting him out to his older brother). It’s safe to say while making the switch a decent stack of Thaumarks was placed in Ruggie’s wallet.

So yeah, in a word, the day had been a bit of a shitshow. A clusterfuck of misfortunate events (and if it weren’t for Leona, Yuu and Ruggie would not only be in some kind of jail but also flat broke). 

But finally–finally–this hardworking hyena Beastman and the Ramshackle Perfect were about to have some peace and quiet! A moment for just the two of them. A small, precious moment late at night. After the longest night of their collective lives, the two were able to cuddle up and appreciate what they had. Even if all they had was encompassed by long, tiring days and horrendous luck… and having the bend to the whims of some of the brattiest Divas of NRC.

Regardless, this time isn’t about them. It’s about Ruggie Bucchi and Yuu enjoying what left they had of their day off, Damnnit!  

“Ya’ know,” Yuu hummed into where their face was buried for max comfort; Ruggie’s chest. “Today wasn’t a total bust.”

Ruggie snickered sarcastically as his left hand paused its petting motion through his significant other’s hair. He was clearly only humoring his lover's thought process, yet paying attention all the same.

“I’m just saying it wasn’t a total loss,” they began to half-jokingly argue, “I still got to spend the day with you. Besides, you gotta admit it was pretty funny watching that stupid manager’s annoying face drop when Prince Grumpy strutted in all pissy!”

“Shee Shee Shee! Fair enough, Sugar! Good thing he didn’t realize Leona’s always cranky… or that His Majesty~ was mostly just pissed he had to wake up.” Ruggie answered playfully.

“It was kinda sweet of him for letting us, mostly, off the hook though. He even let us keep our goodies along with that sneaky bonus,” Yuu mentioned while lazily motioning towards the small mound of shopping bags and the miscellaneous items inside.

“Pleeeease~ He probably spends more on a single earring than we did with his card and cash combined,” Rugs pouted enviously. To emphasize his pout, he completely encircled Yuu with his arms and clutched them tightly. He was hanging onto them tighter than a swiped snack from the cafeteria on Doughnut day.

“I don’t know,” his partner giggled in response, “Leona’s been such a softy lately… but his whole dark and brooding reputation gets in the way a bit.”

“Dark and brooding?” Ruggie snorted, “Dunno if Leona’s habits of lyin’ around counts as dark and brooding.”

Yuu tried to suppress their elated smirk at feeling the slight tremor of quiet laughter. “True, that’s more of Mal’s stick isn’t it? Angsty and depressed?”

“Nahhh, that’s Idia’s thing! Also, I still can’t wrap my head ‘round you calling Malleus by some nickname.” His laughter died down as he scrunched his nose at the thought of his partner so buddy-buddy with one of Twisted Wonderland’s most powerful mages. And a crown Prince… with servants and castles and-

“You do realize that Malleus is like a GIANT kid right? I mean, yeah he’s some super powerful wizard-”

“Mage!”

“...whatever. He’s an absolute beast when it comes to magic and whatnot, but he’s got this whole ‘homeschooled only child’ vibe going on and honestly? It’s a little pathetic, in a cute stray way.”

Ruggie didn’t really know how to feel about his partner’s revelation. On one hand, he knew they were just friends and had befriended each other longer before Yuu realized Malleus’ status. That didn’t necessarily make it any easier to cover up the inherent inferiority or the slight unsettling fear. Good thing they didn’t feel the usual pressure of this world’s social ladder… but that doesn’t mean they won’t start worrying if he stayed lost in thought for too long.

“.......what was your world like for you to turn out so weird?” 

“Hey!”

Ruggie continued to laugh, but it came out a little bit strained. Yuu finally glanced up in order to catch a glimpse of their boyfriend’s adorable pout.  His lightly scrunched eyebrows and the way his ears seemed to fold-in on themselves made him look like a grumpy puppy. Absurdly cute, but clearly bothered, and they both had had such a long day t wouldn’t be right not to cheer him back up!

“Oh, c’mere!” the Perfect said through teasing giggles as they flipped Ruggie over to switch positions.

Rugs was currently (and quite contently) snuggled face first into his lover's chest; enjoying the sound of their heartbeat along with the comfortable extra cushioning. His arms reached slightly down to wrap around their waist snuggly as the two pairs of legs naturally crisscrossed at the joints. The moment he fully relaxed was when Yuu started to softly pet his bushy hair and scratch along the base of his ears.

Pure Heaven.

“Were you getting grumpy because I kept mentioning Leona and Malleus?” the Perfect lovingly taunted now that he was trapped and attacked (with euphoric head scratches) in his weak spot. Truly, an idiots mirage of paradise.

“C’mon Sweet Cheeks! Ya Couldn’t’ve least let me keep my pride?” Rugs whined, quickly going back to frowning deeply but unable to hold it for long. There was no chance in all of Twisted Wonderland he could stay “upset” while his precious Dandelion Fluff’s fingers softly caressed his sensitive ears. At least he could cover-up the way he melted, burying himself further into their figure. Luckily, Yuu was already squeezing him closure with a burst of affection,

“Don’t worry, my silly Hyena, the only one I was focused on today was you. The only one I wanted to spend time with was you. And the only person I think of from dawn till dusk, and dream about the whole night through, will always be you, Ruggie Bucchi.” Yuu declared playfully, then slowly breathlessly serious with a sappy amount of affection as they watched Ruggie's tail wave faster and faster.

“Shee shee shee,” Rugs bashfully replied, “where did all that come from outta nowhere?”

Yuu wistfully sighed, “I guess I’m just in a sentimental mood.”

The two shared some playful hushed whispers until Ruggie had to turn his head to hide a yawn. His attempt was futile however, as Yuu caught it–but instead of teasing him over it they simply snuggled him closer and quietly sang an old, sweet crooner love song from their home world. Despite the long day, it felt blissfully short as the two peacefully drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms. 

[crowclubkaz]

across the multiverse was the multiverse plot line the mcu should have had

okay hear me out. I love marvel. love the mcu love the movies the shows all that jazz. but we’ve come to a place in the mcu where it’s no longer possible to simply watch all of the marvel movies that come out and continue to understand the mcu’s plot. phase 4 has made it so that casual marvel fans or just mcu film fans can’t watch new marvel movies without having watched a lot of hours of marvel tv shows. watching multiverse of madness is hard if you haven’t seen wandavision. watching the marvels is going to be almost impossible if you haven’t seen captain marvel. trying to explain timelines in mcu movies is going to be confusing as fuck if you haven’t seen loki.

what across the spiderverse did successfully and comprehensively was introduce the idea of the exact same multiverse we see in the mcu, but explain it in a concise, understandable way. if you’ve never seen a single other marvel movie other than across the spiderverse, you know how the multiverse works, and you can enjoy the film from start to finish without getting lost.

i love new marvel content, but the mcu as a whole is getting fucking confusing for marvel fans, let alone casual fans. the spiderverse movies are proof that with actual thought going into planning and audience marketing, you can do a successful multiverse story - the mcu just isn’t doing that.

[oseh-shalom]

do you mind sharing what prompted you to convert/become jewish? sorry i’ve you’re not comfy asking or have already answered this question!

Hi! :) Well, that's the million-dollar question! Lol. Fun fact, the final essay I wrote before my beit din began like this:

When people ask me why I'm converting to Judaism, I find it difficult to answer. Not because I don't know the answer, but because it seems impossible to explain concisely.

So, the short answer: I just sort of fell into Judaism, and I kept going because it felt right.

The slightly longer answer: I like to joke that I somehow stumbled onto the Judaism Wikipedia page and then just never stopped learning. Articles led to books, which led to getting involved with a local shul. As I'm sure is the case for many converts, I fell in love with Jewish rituals, traditions, music. The people.

But for me it was also about finding a place to explore my own spirituality as someone who was raised in a fairly secular home. This is probably the best I can explain that part of my journey (copied from near the end of my beit din essay):

Every now and then, I think of the Hasidic story about the boy who goes into the woods to be with G-d. Although G-d is the same everywhere, he explains to his parent, the boy is not.

I used to see myself strongly in this story. In a way, I still do. But although I still feel a strong connection to nature, Judaism has allowed me to bring that feeling of spirituality into the ordinary parts of my life. I’m no longer chasing the feeling of being alone on a mountaintop. Instead, I find that sense of connection within my community, through prayer, and in ritual observance.

So... It was that, and a million other things. I don't think I'll ever be fully satisfied with any single answer I give to this question. Because to be honest, the truest answer is simply, "It felt right."

[chaosincurate]

Alvvays defined

This one is gonna be a fun post for me to make. Listening to the monarchs of musical bliss, the indie pop idols, Alvvays, every time, without fail feels like an inherent act of musical artistic appreciation, like I can't help but to think about how great music as an art form is. To make it all the more impressive, the band manage to maintain that high constantly throughout an album, and across albums. I don't tend to buy into the whole "no bad songs" thing because I find it undermines the value of your appreciation if you ignore flaws as opposed to loving something in spite (or even because) of them, but when it comes to Alvvays, I genuinely don't dislike a single song, even really a single moment, they've created. They aren't perfect of course, and we'll get into that a little bit in a second, but I'm convinced they are one of the best indie acts going. Let's get into why.

Alvvays (self-titled)

When I say this album is one-note, you'd be forgiven for thinking I found the album monotonous, boring, and repetitive. You'd be forgiven, but mistaken. This debut album from Alvvays is consistently exciting and establishes a core identity expertly over a concise 33 minute runtime, which also helps ensure that their lack of experimentation isn't felt. Featuring flowery and left-field lyrics (see Adult Diversion), dreamy guitar lines (see Atop a Cake) and the perfectly restrained rhythms to facilitate the euphoria of each and every song, the Alvvays sound was focused and flawlessly executed from day one.

I did mention that Alvvays weren't perfect in the preamble, and while they came out on their first album more or less fully formed, that applies as much to many negatives of theirs as it does to positives, and the clearest negative I've found in their discography is inconsistent album sequencing. I haven't tried, but I get the impression their albums, especially their later two, wouldn't be too badly affected by playing them on shuffle, although each project certainly has its own identity which helps them feel cohesive.

Even with that negative though, the sheer quality of these songs make it fantastic, especially considering it's a debut. Not many acts are immediately gifted enough to get me whipped up in the pure joy of music like songs such as Archie, Marry Me, Party Police, Atop a Cake, and Red Planet do.

Apple Music link

Antisocialites

What do you get if you take the exceptional qualities of the last album, and add some refinement and slight experimentation, along with punchier production? A 10/10 album called Antisocialites, apparently. You hear it all right off the bat too, with In Undertow introducing you to the album with a washed out distorted guitar that feels like the aural version of a low wave on the beach immersing your feet. That blissful, "life is great", picturesque holiday feeling pervades this album entirely. You cannot love music, hear this album and not feel joy. It's just impossible, and I will not be convinced otherwise. Alvvays had me by the balls from the first note of the album and took the opportunity to give me a (barely metaphorical) orgasm.

I must admit, I struggle to be at all analytical about this album, as you may have noticed, simply because this capacity to induce joy and awe almost evades analysis. I can tell you it's indie pop. I can tell you it's brilliant and one-of-a-kind, but I just cannot tell you why beyond what I have here. It all just either seems so perfect but so obvious, or just completely indescribable.

Again, I don't like to say that something is without flaws, I don't like sounding so uncritically adoring, but every song on here (except one that I will get to) is noteworthy and awe-inspiring to me. The perfect energy of Plimsoll Punks and Your Type, the girl-group charm of Not My Baby, the dynamism of Hey... I could easily go on, but I'll spare you any further pious rambling, and leave it at the promise that every song is incredible in its own unique way that branches naturally from the sound established on the band's debut.

The one criticism I have that I hinted at earlier, was that the sequencing was a little awkward again, particularly in that Already Gone, a song that is well below the album's par for me (although still great in a vacuum because of course it is, Alvvays are almost annoyingly good at this whole music thing), felt forced in between Lollipop (Ode to Jim) and Saved by a Waif. I'm glad it's a song that has seen the light of day, and I think there's definitely a version of this album with that song on it that feels more natural, perhaps having it by the slightly slow Dreams Tonite as opposed to being sandwiched between very high energy, happy songs, but it just doesn't work here in my opinion.

Anyway, that's about enough fawning for a [blank] defined post, so overall thoughts: Alvvays' middlebrow status-quo rituals more than sufficed here and if you like indie pop or any surrounding genres and don't listen to it, you're stinky and I don't respect you until you do. Do it. It's good, you'll like it. Look, I'll even link it for you:

Apple Music link

Blue Rev

And after a quick 5-year non-hiatus- induced break filled with drama, personal and global (Donald Trump's presidential era gets strictly no Alvvays, which I respect), the frankly too talented Alvvays returned with their most diverse album yet, starting with a slightly garage-leaning rendition of their sound with Pharmacist and Easy On Your Own? before getting back to their old sound, and their best version of it yet, at that, with After the Earthquake (obligatory mention that the final "are you awake now?" that Molly Rankin belts out is eargasmic), which makes for an incredible introduction to the album, telling you to expect a lot of variety, but in a way that is true to their already established identity.

Then they try their hand at being a The Smiths cover band without getting into legal trouble with Pressed, and they mimic their indie royalty predecessors with an apparent ease that is mind-boggling and follow it up with the sincerely sweet Many Mirrors which, thematically, appears to act as a reprieve from the stories of romantic hardship to tell a, presumably, more reality-founded story of a situation that is as effortless as it was at the onset of their feelings.

Then there's a sharp left-turn towards the delightful Voidz-esque Very Online Guy that just confirms that the band are having as much fun as you are, as the band takes the soundscape of the early internet to inspire the instrumentation on the track about a guy who is, get this, very online. It goes over cyber stalking, constant opinions, and similarly modern stressors with a sense of humour that makes it go down so easy.

Then Velveteen (yes we're going more or less track-by-track, this album is chaotic in the best way) serves as the payoff to mentions of "velvet" found in other songs on the album, giving those mentions an added level of meaning retroactively before flowing perfectly (credit where it's due) to the similarly mellow, and distinctly melancholic Tile By Tile and then reminds you what band you're listening to by taking the foot off the brakes with the ball of tired altruist energy of Pomeranian Spinster, my personal favourite Alvvays track that doesn't even get enough love amongst Alvvays fans from what I've seen. It's a typical length, 3 and a half minute song that is so incredibly fun and charismatic it feels like half that at least.

From there, you're given a little bit of a break with the Belinda Carlisle-approved Belinda Says which is a beautiful anthem about just making it work. Being dealt a shitty hand but going all in anyway and figuring it out as you go.

From there, the album mostly just continues to wind-down, which is far from a flaw. In fact I think it was necessary. Constantly high energy isn't as easy to pull off over 30 minutes as it is over 40 and taking that extra few moments to just bring you back down to reality pays dividends for an album that gives you transcendent moments like they have an overabundance of them, which I imagine isn't actually far from the truth.

All that positive stuff being said, the album does have it's flaws. Personally, Fourth Figure strikes me as tonally redundant, and while the sequencing is more or less on point here, the album does still feel a little too messy to match or surpass the quality of Antisocialites, even if it does provide it's own charm.

Apple Music link

Playlist

Frankly, I'd recommend just listening to the albums, in chronological order even, but for those who, for whatever reason, would prefer a playlist of some of their best, most representative stuff (at least in my humble opinion), that can be found below. I hope it helps you in some way!

Spotify

Apple Music

[vipier-a]

don't you know i'm no good for you ?

“ WILL YOU SHUT UP AND STOP FIDGETING SO I CAN FINISH THIS? YOU’RE IMPOSSIBLE. ” despite the twinge in his gut incited by cassian’s words, tristan barely looks up from his work as he speaks — namely, from tending to a particularly nasty blaster burn along @k4ssa’s ribcage that needs a bit more assistance than the others more superficial wounds he’d sustained on whatever his last mission had been. they still hadn’t discussed it, and tristan knows only the location of the trading outpost to which cass had been dispatched. as usual, despite running a smuggling job half a system away, he’d kept his comlink open in case the spymaster had need of his assistance, and as usual, had received no transmission from andor. the surprise was hearing from tinker, who explained that cassian would be on his way back to base soon before very concisely recommending that tris get there first if he could manage. even in his junker ship, it proved a quick trip, leaving him time to pace cass’s quarters anxiously in anticipation and catch a few restless moments of sleep on the cot while waiting. he’d woken to his lover, utterly silent and smelling vaguely of blood and smoke, crawling in beside him to slip his arms around him and hold him close with his face buried in tristan’s shoulder.

tris didn’t have to ask any questions to know it had been bad.

he’s not sure how long they lay there in silence, cassian clutched to him and breathing shakily against him in the dim, tristan wrapping a leg around his hips to pull him closer as he pressed slow kisses along the crown of his head. all tris knew was the distress that seemed to radiate from his lover, an uncommon anguish that alarmed him and sparked something shockingly protective in the depths of him. they probably would have stayed there far longer, had tris not brushed a hand down toward cass’s waist, prompting the other man to flinch and hiss. it took some coaxing — baby, he’d murmured against his rebel’s temple, gentle as anything, come on, baby, it’ll get infected, let me fix it up, I’ll just be a minute — but he finally convinced the captain to move into the chair beside the little desk in the corner and fetched the med kit. a minute turned out to be far too conservative an estimate, but he hadn’t anticipated that he would find some of the fabric of cass’s shirt fused to the burn, forcing him to be far more methodical about treating the wound than he imagined.

for his part, cassian seemed half dazed through most of the procedure, wincing occasionally but mostly simply staring at tristan with some sort of wonder, desperation, a vulnerability that even he sees only rarely, despite what they mean to each other. he’d continued to work under cass’s intense — almost yearning — gaze, even as he felt his cheeks heat beneath it, straddled over his lover’s thighs for the best angle to treat his wound. when the spy finally spoke, it was all tris could do not to stumble over his task, to keep his hands from twitching as he attempted to complete the finishing touches.

even now, moments later, after his initial good-natured and teasing retort, he finds himself distracted by the raw quality of cassian’s question, the pain stretched beneath its surface, the way his accent turned heavier like it always does around tris when he stops pretending. under different circumstances, he might offer a sharper response ; under the worst circumstances, he might agree with the sentiment outright just to see cass hurt. but he does neither this time — wouldn’t be able to even if he tried, with his lover watching him like that, defenses briefly stripped bare — and instead sighs as he spreads the antibacterial cooling gel over the burn and presses a wound dressing firmly down until the edges adhere to cass’s skin.

“ I’m no good for you, either. we’ve never let that stop us before. ” he’s still not sure what awful thing had happened on this mission, what prompted cassian’s aching honesty — or at least what cass clearly thought was honest. to tristan, it’s horseshit. for as twisted as it becomes between them at times, he’s never truly believed he’d be better off without his kassa. frowning, he tests the corner of the dressing, satisfied when it clings to cass’s ribcage despite his ministrations, then lifts his eyes to gaze into the other man’s as he cups a hand against the side of his neck. “ I don’t believe you. anyway, what would I do, hm? unlove you? I couldn’t do that any more than I could stop breathing. and I wouldn’t want to — I want you. you’re stuck with me, good for each other or not. ” from his place still straddling his lover’s lap, he squeezes cass’s thighs briefly with his own as he gazes at him, intent, unable to hide the note of concern. after a moment, he leans forward to kiss him, once, twice, a third time, firm and sweet and utterly yielding, to coax and comfort, to reassure — and simply to taste him, a reminder to tristan himself that he’s returned to him once more. another victory. another chance for them, even as he keeps fearing they’ll run out. when he finally speaks again, it’s in practically a whisper against cassian’s mouth, as though passing a secret between them. “ do you want to tell me about it? ”

[ijorolanza-blog]

Ads about Covid-19

In many ways, the covid mania was unpredictable. There have been so many unexpected turns of events during the past two years that it is almost impossible to recall them all. Lockdown one, easing of the constraints, the emergence of the Delta variation, Lockdown two, and so on. Like us, brands had to change to reflect the sentiment worldwide continually. After a while, tributes to healthcare professionals turned from hip to ridiculous. As various virus types swept the world and then opened back up, stay-at-home messages alternated between current and outdated. The primary goal of the advertising effort is to promote the covid-19 guidelines, which were crucial during the pandemic. It was uploaded so people would know what needed to be done during an outbreak. Mainly four stages that are stated simply, concisely, and effortlessly. The intended audience for this advertisement was the general public since many people are still confused and anxious about not knowing how to deal with Covid-19. This advertisement aims to help and give response to everyone suffering from the outbreak so that the public would see that they are being guided and they have someone to lean on with. Moving on with the contents of the advertisement, everything was intended and suitable for the general public. It was clearly stated that they must sanitize their hands, wear face masks at all times, maintain social distancing, and always learn to fact-check and be aware of the environment near them. Regarding the media manipulation in the advertisement, I firmly feel that there was none, as it received a significant number of views (100K), leading viewers to believe that what was being conveyed was substantial and accurate. During the pandemic, many people were unhappy, distraught, anxious, terrified, and in need of assistance. It caused many traumas in many people, not just locally but even globally. During the pandemic, many advertisements and videos were played and aired to ensure that people are doing the right things and are comfortable with their life, no matter how difficult it is. Through these advertisements, people were calmed down, even if only briefly, to help them cope with their anxiety. Video link: https://youtu.be/5ruNCIwyBOk This particular advertising is both incredibly thorough and quite succinct. The video impressed me because of how concisely everything was explained. Anything from how long you need to wait after washing your hands to using a face mask properly. The length of time we must spend outside while running errands to prepare for the pandemic ranges from how far away we must be when we're outside to prevent direct contact with people. It's amazing how this type of an ad exists. This ad is targeting the demographics of the general public or the whole nation itself. It's goal is to make individuals conscious of their environment. Similar to how it is said in the advertisement, Covid-19 can be spread from one person to another by coughing, sneezing or even touching others around. It's incredible how easily this virus spreads to others who haven't yet been exposed to it. This advertisement also aimed to inform the general public on how to determine whether they have been exposed to the virus. They would reportedly begin to feel unwell, start to cough, and get weak. They would also lose their sense of taste and even smell. In this advertisement they said that the soap and alcohol are the things that you can use to help you fight this virus. And I can confirm that these goods are both beneficial and healthy for us. Since Covid-19 is a virus, we require a product that will eliminate and stop them from spreading from one person to another. This will reduce your chances of coming into touch with or being exposed to someone who has Covid-19. I can say that there isn't any kind of media manipulation at all. Since what they claimed was supported by evidence and was true in a scientific sense. Everything about how to contract the virus, how long you need to wash your hands for, and even how far you need to be from another person was accurate. This captured the viewers' attention and heart because everything was factual and true, which is what the people want so that they would know the right things and way to deal with the Covid-19 virus. Video Link: https://youtu.be/Uft3-e6yUKQ

[cleavetheclover]

RESISTING i tell you RESISTING THE URGE TO REWRITE THE CHAPTER

Because I know that I can do it better, i KNOW that all 14K words can be written more concisely and artfully, and there are so many ideas i JUST had while laying in bed last night, BEAUTIFUL IDEAS that would make the sense of panic so much more dreadful and intimate

But alas, every time I open the existing document I simply close it. I have stared at those words for so long, pored over them even, that I cannot do so any longer. I can’t even read the whole thing for cohesiveness out of sheer boredom. This behavior has even made me question whether it’s worth reading to begin with. If the author can no longer look at it, why would readers ever do so?

I feel a deep and profound sense of shame in uploading it as is. I don’t think I’ll be able to cherish and take pride in this chapter as much as I did with chapter 3. All the same, I think uploading and carrying forward is ultimately the best decision. I love this story and I want to be able to tell it, simple as that. But the story will not get told if I cling onto it forever.

If this were a Real Novel and i were a Real Writer then i would simply come back to this chapter another time and re-write it then. But the reality is, I really suck at that. As long as my chapters are unreleased, I find it nigh impossible to switch gears to other chapters or even other works. Nighttime in Las Vegas, my proudest work at the moment, is the primary victim to this.

So farewell, Chapter 4 of Nighttime in Las Vegas, i hope you serve your readers well. I have my whole life to write chapters better than you and I look forward to that, but I will never get there if I cannot let you go. So I take my lessons kindly, and hope to use them soon.

Nighttime in Las Vegas update: chapter 4 is coming soon! I need to finish my edits but I am going to upload it by the end of next week at the latest (today is tues 8/15/23)

[mrskurono]

title: Baby Fever a/n: ok you know what I’ll admit it, all I’ve been thinking about lately is Geto. He’s on my mind constantly. Should I be working on something else, yes. Is Geto the first jjk character I really had a crush on, maybe. I just....fucking Geto ok this has taken me four times to right jfc word count: 1.7k tags: no sub/dom dynamics, romantic sex, established relationship, manga spoilers, fingering, multiple female orgasms (not overstim though) breeding kink, needy Geto, creampie, unprotected sex, pregnancy mention, body worship, really just soft sex ok, unedited character(s): Geto Suguru (jjk)

They had grown. 

Both girls that was. 

Into wonderful adolescences that brought a set of different challenges. Geto was ready for that be it blindly. And he loved every part of it times two. Each time he looked at either of the kids though he could vividly remembered rounder cheeks, rosier faces and goofier smiles. It left him reminiscing over that more and more now.

You noticed it in the most subtle ways. Geto wanting more. More of those days even though he wouldn’t outright ask.

A trace of his fingers along your collar bone drew you away from what was in your lap. For the most part you’d ignored him once he came to bed but it grew almost impossible when the sorcerer had his lips pressed to the conjunction of your head and neck while a light touch traced down your chest. Not irritated in the slightly, you still give a playful sigh as you put your book down.

“Can I help you?” You can’t even turn your head to see him. Geto’s face is pressed to you with a trail of peppered kisses following suit.

With a firm grip he slipped his fingers against your thigh to give it a playful squeeze. Geto pulled out of the crook of your neck enough to finally look at you with that off brand smirk of his, “Mayhaps.”

You grin just to lean down and catch his lips on yours. Instead though you pull away just as he was going to lean into you. Earning your own smirk to play on your lips, “Mayhaps if you ask nicely Mr. Suguru.”

The hand on your thigh tightened. Pulling you towards him in a meager attempt but for the most part you stayed rooted where you were. Only slightly letting your legs fall open as your smirk grew into a full blown smile. He was awfully soft for a man on the run orchestrating a death cult. 

Geto slipped his fingers up along the crotch of your bottoms. Nudging his forehead against yours like he’d done every night this week. An eye roll that held no merit you grab his face and kiss him deeply. There isn’t a second in hesitation as you lean into him. Geto’s fingers moving up to help you wiggle out of your bottoms. A similar scene playing out just like the previous nights but you didn’t mind in the slightest with his attention fully on you.

“You’re so wet.” He commented against your lips the second his index finger dipped between your folds.

“And you’re already hard.” You toss back to him when your palm presses up against the stark hardness hidden under his robes, “Why don’t we help each other out?”

A nod and he didn’t stop to push back into the kiss. Geto hovering above you but it was your teeth nipping playfully at his bottom lip. Leaving the man to groan as his fingertips danced on either side of your clit. Your hips coming up to join in the motion of his fingers rubbing against you. Only for a few moments though because once they were soaked enough Geto couldn’t keep them from slipping inside you.

“Fuck...you’re so needy,” You moan against Geto’s lips as he curls his fingers in on you. He wouldn’t hesitate to make you cum like this before the main event even started.

Lips back to your neck, Geto hummed something but then nodded and mumbled against the softness of your ear, “I need you.”

Reaching down to grip his forearm as Geto’s fingering picked up in it’s urgency. You regretted the moan when his fingertips brushed over your g-spot. Within seconds he was back at it. Not leaving your sensitive spot alone as your cunt twitched and tightened around him with the impending orgasm. He was gonna get one from you with not much more than a snide remark on your part.

“F-Fuck...” Lip taut with tension as you bit down, fighting it wasn’t in your best interest, “S-Suguru- I- I’m gonna-”

“Cum-” His voice almost desperate, hot breath against your neck, fingers not letting up on their assault, “Please cum- Please I need you to cum- Please-”

The want in his voice too much. Just the way he wouldn’t stop after your orgasm tipped itself over. Fingers pulling a toe curling orgasm out of you as you clutched onto his robes and felt every fiber in your body tingle with hopelessness for him.

Fingers slowing, Geto simply wiggling them around in you and feeling the slickness covering his knuckles. It was when you snagged him for a long drawn out lazy kiss. Just to follow it by an order that he get undressed already, meant the man had no choice but to listen.

Rid of his clothes and between your legs before you knew it. You look down to see him swiping his cock up through the drool of your cunt. What wasn’t on his fingers previously now coated his cock with a beautiful glisten. Geto more than enthralled seeing his cock slip between your cunt lips. Each movement of his length grinding into your sensitive nub sent a shiver up your spine. Either he was too into watching or he was teasing you. A few more swipes and you demand he get on with the main course already.

One push and Geto’s cock slipped down to the hilt with ease. Stretched thoroughly from the nightly fucking all week. Today was no different. Juices squelching around his cock Geto pushed himself down to his base. Feeling his cock bottom out in you no problem. Leaving the man to hover over you. Caged in by both his arms on either side of you. And his hair tickling your face when you looked up at him.

“You’re beautiful.”

“You’re handsome.”

Geto stalled a moment. Savoring the way his hips felt snug in yours. The residual feeling of your walls twitching around him. Not a day would go by where he didn’t swear you were made for him. 

“I love you.” His words clear and concise. You looked up at Geto once more.

What smirk you had early softened into a smile. Bringing his face down to yours for a kiss, “I love you t- fuck-” Before he let you finish Geto grinned against your lips and thrusted into you without warning. Just to watch you convulse and loose yourself on his cock. Just as beautiful as ever. He felt himself unable to control himself all over again.

Each snap of his hips into your core left you breathless. He wasn’t rough. Never was he rough. Geto’s cock curved in the right way that left you rolling your hips up to meet his thrusts. Even if it felt like he was going to split you in half, you still wanted more.

Orgasm or not Geto was bringing you right back to the edge. He always did. As you showered his face in breathless kisses. Some of those met with his own lips. Others spared on his neck and collar bone as you watched with a dazed look at where your bodies met. Geto buried inside you with each thrust. His hands hooked into your hips with your legs slightly elevated so he could defile your deepest parts. Every night this week he’d fuck you like this. In the drunken pleasurer of it all you might have thought he was trying to breed you.

“Please-” Geto’s voice peeled you away, “Please cum-”

Thinking he wanted you to cum on him again you half ass nod, “Yes- Fuck yes I’ll-”

“No-” He groaned more of a gasp. Geto putting his forehead against yours even with the dew accumulating on it, “Please- Please can I cum- Cum in you- I just-”

More than surprised. Of course he’d done so more than once before. Now he was asking you? 

“Love why ask just-”

“I want another baby-” Geto broke your question up, his hips still a mind of their own. His breath ragged against your lips and sweat making his hair cling to him, “With you- Another one- Just one- Let me fill you up- Let me fuck a baby in you- Please- I- I love you so much and-”

“Yes.”

Geto’s turn to be surprised.

“Yes please, god fuck yes- Fuck a baby inside me-” You grab Geto’s face. Caring less if you cum at this point and more for the warmth of his release. Lips smashing onto his you don’t hesitate to moan into the fevered kiss.

Geto pulling you down on him with each thrust. Driving his cock in you as deep as he could. Quicker than before like he was desperate for it. Even while your legs twitched and curled, knowing he was breeding in you, something snapped in you.

The way you can on him. Scream only muffled by the fact Geto wouldn’t move his lips from yours. Each rippling twitch of your cunt around him was maddening. Hearing and feeling you craving him sent him into a tizzy until it was simply too late. With the way he snapped his hips into. A rumbling moan emanating up from his chest. It was far too obvious when the first gush of warmth overwhelmed you.

Full well past just what oozed out of you. The mixture of cum and juices soaked the two of you as Geto’s arms waivered a little. A moment of uncertainty if he was going to pull out and waste the gift he just gave you. Instead you yank him down on you. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders and loosely with your legs around his hips. Making it very obvious he was to stay in place on and in you.

Hand drawn down his back you ignore the sweat between his shoulder blades. Instead engrossed in the feeling of Geto’s cock still inside you and the heat of his chest against yours. Sighing softly to lay a kiss against his cheek you hug him a little tighter, “...you could have just said something you know.”

Exhausted and without a real witty reply. Geto had been saving this all week and now he was a little spent. Mumbling something but you didn’t hear.

The idea of being pregnant, with his child, making you smile more and more with each passing second. Even as cum dripped out of you. It was right away that you kissed the side of his head, “Looks like we gotta keep trying until you succeed huh.”

No question to it there was a twitch of excitement in all of his body. You knew neither of you would be happy now until Geto got what he asked for.

[echo-of-sounds]

autism

How Aizawa, Toshinori, and Hizashi would help and support their autistic partner.

There is such a wide range of symptoms and experiences autistic people have. It'd be impossible for me to portray them all. I stuck to mostly what I struggle with. I also have headcanons that may relate to some struggles if I didn't list them are, as I didn't want to be too redundant: adhd, afraid of loud noises, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and hypersensitivities

Warnings: nothing incredibly explicit, but a couple of these talk about sex and some self-harm-like behavior

Aizawa Shouta

When it comes to communication, there are very clear ups and downs with Shouta. On the plus side, he’s clear, concise, and doesn’t speak in unnecessary, fluffy metaphors. He means what he speaks. You don’t have to worry about missing something. On the downside, he doesn’t talk a lot, let alone talk about his feelings. He tends to express himself in physical ways when close to someone: his facial expressions, hinting for cuddles when in need of comfort, stressing his jaw and shoulders rigid when stressed. The latter is his biggest giveaway, but it can be difficult to catch. He can’t always say it, so his body does. And if you have trouble reading the room as he’s huddled in on himself, needing time alone, he might snap if you bother him too much. It’ll take time, but he will learn to say, “I need some time alone. Please, don’t bother me for an hour or two.”

The symptoms the world labels as ‘too autistic’ and ‘too unnatural’, Shouta feels are complete bullshit. Stimming is only seen as an annoyance because it isn’t ‘common’ or ‘normal’ behavior, even though it’s completely normal for you. Not smiling or laughing at a ‘joke’ just because someone expects you to, has nothing to do with you. It’s others just expecting something from you for no reason. Having sensitivities isn’t being picky. It’s a physical reaction you cannot control. And hyperempathy, hypoempathy, and any lack of social cues are all seen as negative because it means others may have to adjust and they don’t want to. Most, if not all, are because others expect you to adjust your behavior to fit into their world. It’s incredibly asinine and childish to expect that of you.

While shutdowns are different for each individual, he understands the gist of them. He’s had panic attacks and gone on autopilot for days at a time. They aren’t the exact same, but they do share a lot of the same feelings. It’s like your body and mind are overburdened, exhausted, and in overdrive simultaneously, choosing to just freeze and dissociate amidst it all.

Shouta won’t touch you. He won’t make you feel like a burden or try to ‘force’ you out of it. He’s never gone through one, but he knows it isn’t a simple thing; it’s physical, affecting your entire body. After the first few you had around him, he realized he needed a way to comminute with you without words. He’ll end up keeping something sort of chart or card on his phone. Whether in public or at home, when he notices you beginning to withdraw, he can pull it out. You can just point to what you need. Company or alone time? No touching or to be held? Can you move or do you want to stay put? Is it too bright? Too loud? He’ll help the best he can.

If you enjoy parallel play, he’s such an amazing partner for it. Shouta likes being able to just sit. No forced interactions. No talking. No expectations. You two can simply be in each other’s presence, doing your own things while physically near each other. He doesn’t understand why people find it weird or a sign of a bad relationship. He feels it’s the opposite because if you can find comfort and relaxation by just sitting in the same room as one another as you work, your relationship and connection are stronger. Words and interactions, a lot of which he finds unnecessary, don’t always equal a healthy relationship.

The battle between having a dirty or clean place is constant. Dust clogs your throat. Animal hairs feel worse than needles. Cluttered areas are claustrophobic and impossible to work in. Then, on the other hand, hand wipes and disinfectants stick everywhere, irritating skin, lighting nerves on fire. Dryer sheets leave races of chemicals to haunt you through the day. And Shouta isn’t a messy man. He also isn’t the cleanest man. Things may pile up, collect a good layer of dust, and be left out of their proper place. He isn’t intentionally messy. He’s just busy, and once he’s home, he’s tired. Cleaning the kitchen table and sweeping are the last things on his mind.

It’s best to meet in the middle. The specific types of messes that bother you and you can handle, you clean, like laundry and organizing the shelves, items, and furniture how you want. He isn’t picky. And since he’s busy most of the day, you can dust and sweep, keeping the surfaces and air clear of grime. When it involves something that irritates or hurts you, he can take care of it: deep cleaning, cleaning and disinfecting the bathroom and kitchen counters, vacuuming, or anything else that involves chemicals, overstimulating smells/sounds, and other irritants. It’s better this way too as his chores don’t need to be done every day. He can do them when he has the time and energy.

Little to no eye contact, poor coordination, being blunt and/or forward, and getting burnt out much faster than others in social situations don’t bother him. He doesn’t like big groups and loud places. He knows eye contact doesn’t equal attention and awareness. If you want to go out to eat but need to leave halfway through your burger, he’s fine with it. It’s more comfortable eating at home anyway. And he prefers when people speak what they mean. Don’t pussyfoot or hint at something and expect others to get it. Just say it. Life is much easier being direct.

Dealing with emotional dysregulation, anxiety, and/or hyperempathy, Shouta is going to need your help. He isn’t the softest or most sensitive man. When you become incredibly upset over something seemingly minute, he isn’t sure the best way to help. He worries about sounding dismissive or ignorant. Typically, he doesn’t bother with tactful words, but when it’s the people closest to him suffering, he does want to be attentive, though they may still fail. If words won’t work, he relies on his body to provide comfort. It’s warm and firm— perfect to lay on, crying out the fears, then sleeping away the anxieties.

Yagi Toshinori

As with most other mental illnesses and neurodivergences, Toshinori has read a fair amount on autism as a way to connect and support his fans and those he saves. However, he isn’t a psychiatrist, and he will not ever pretend to be one, so even if he has the slightest inkling you have ADHD or autism or anything really, he refuses to bring it up before you do. Mental health is personal. He won’t take that away from you by coercing you into discussing something you’re not ready for or simply don’t want to. Just know, whenever you feel ready, he’ll be there, listening and supporting you.

Sadly, autism comes with many comorbidities: anxiety, mood disorders, OCD, ADHD, allergies, epilepsy, Tourettes/tic disorders, language, speech, and auditory disorders, gastrointestinal issues, motor and sensory dysfunction, and more that’d take too long to list. So, not only do you have the difficulties autism brings, but you’re also stranded under a dogpile of health issues with seemingly no end. It’s like you’re trapped. Medications measure your day. And pain, frustration, and tears are too common.

This is where Toshi greatly relates to and can understand the daily distress, and since he’s gone through his fair share of health issues himself, he’s able to listen, follow, and help with health-related anxiety. Food you enjoyed a month ago may suddenly feel like crumbling sandpaper in your mouth, infesting you for hours after you spit it out. Yesterday, your stomach was fine. Today, it feels like cement. Tinnitus, tics, and allergies can act up for seemingly no reason other than to spite you. And he hates seeing you push through the worst, most painful symptoms/attacks. However, since he is no longer active as a Pro Hero, he has a little more time to spare. It’s a plus for spending time with and comforting you. For appointments, he’s a great partner to have. He never fails to remember and asks important questions. And, though he’s anxious too, he will share his own fears and struggles with his health, hoping it’ll help you realize you’re not alone.

And because Toshi is required to focus on his health and food intake, he often but very subtly takes on the role of the ‘mom friend.’ Now, he isn’t one to police every little thing you eat. But when your diet starts to only consist of peanut butter and muffins for weeks on end, he gets worried and will cautiously bring it up. He may not fathom how much texture can affect eating habits, and he certainly doesn’t want to sound judgemental, but he’s just worried. The last thing he wants is for you to faint because you’ve hardly eaten. He’s willing to explore different foods from different places to find more of a variety.

Toshi, along with being a great partner for doctor’s appointments, is a great partner for anxiety. He can explain jokes you missed and is open to using any nonverbal cues you need when necessary. Feeling a bit overwhelmed and need to step away for a bit? Tap him on the shoulder a few times. He’ll wait for your return without having to worry. Do you need to leave right now or else you’re going to slip into a meltdown? Grab his hand and squeeze. He’ll understand and guide you someplace less stimulating. Because they’re so big, his jackets are perfect to hide in, away from all the sounds and smells.

The behaviors he worries about are self-injurious stimming. He’s fine with you rocking and bouncing and humming. He won’t even notice them a year or so into the relationship. They’re simply another part of you. It’s when you get overstimulated so much that your fist starts colliding with your head, or you begin scratching to get the inside sensations to go away, or you bite yourself, needing something painful and something to break inbetween your teeth to release the emotions.

The only time he’ll physically restrain you is during a meltdown/panic attack that leads to self-injurious stimming. He’ll grab your hands, positioning you safely against him. Nothing more. Nothing less. It’s hard to see you struggle in his hold, but he can’t risk you seriously harming yourself. Any other time, he’ll remind you to use something else. If you need to pick, a popping toy could help. If you need to bite, chew on some fabric or a necklace designed for it. He doesn’t judge you for any of it. You aren’t bizarre or gross for doing it. He knows it helps get emotions out and only wants you to do it safely.

Navigating touching, cuddling, kissing, and sex can be difficult. Depending on your tiredness and energy level, one specific thing can be too much. Maybe your hands are abnormally susceptible one day, and when Toshi goes to grab them, it’s painful. He hates watching you recoil away. To avoid anything like that again, he’ll always ask if you’re comfortable for touching or signal that he’s about to do it, so you can pull away if you need or want to. He doesn’t think it’s weird to ask for a kiss or hug, no matter how far into the relationship you are. It’s about respect.

Skin-to-skin contact and sex also go along with that. Sometimes, naked spooning feels properly stimulating and refreshing but kissing is way too overloading. It’s sticky, leaving damp smudges to sink into your skin. You have to scrub it away. Yet, the next day, the feelings switch around. Kissing is fine, quite favorable actually, especially having his tongue in your mouth, getting you worked up, but his finger’s sensations when they run down your back or squeeze your hips is agonizing. It’s frustrating, your senses not reacting the same as other people’s.

However, like with everything else, Toshi takes it slow, never really getting annoyed or blaming you. He cares for you. He’s going to take the time to understand your body and reactions better. There are numerous ways you two can have intimacy and sex. All it takes is patience.

Yamada Hizashi

Hizashi can relate to some of your daily struggles. While he may not be autistic, and he knows they aren’t the same thing, he does have ADHD, and that brings its own life problems. Hyperfixations, hyperactivity, sensory issues, stimming, fidgeting, rejection sensitivity, executive dysfunction, and emotional dysregulation are things he can relate to. They all have their ups and downs, and he’s able to help you deal with the downs, especially if you share the compassion back when he’s struggling. He’ll also probably be a little excited to learn your neurodiverse too. Easier communication and more appreciation.

When it comes to your special interests and hyperfixations, Hizashi is your biggest supporter. It doesn’t matter if it’s deemed ‘dumb’ or ‘immature’ by others. It isn’t. Having fun, indulging in something you enjoy isn’t either of those things, especially if it brings you some kind of happiness. And it certainly shouldn’t matter if your SI isn’t ‘useful’ in some way. Loving Scooby-Doo or TMNT doesn’t apply to parts of life. You can still enjoy it. Not everyone is like those autistic, technowizards characters on Tv. ‘Dumb things’ are worth loving too.

Due to his ADHD, he’s prone to understimulation, needing movement, noise, and excitement. He often gets it by singing, listening to music, chewing gum, and moving his arms to and fro. If you also deal with understimulation, he’s a great help. He knows how to stimulate someone plenty. But, if you’re prone to the opposite, it will take time and understanding on both your part’s. He can’t magically become quiet. He’d be suppressing himself. Noise-canceling headphones and a room set aside for you to retreat to are your best options.

He may suggest you two start using reminders. Meds, food, appointments, and general notes are things he forgets for one reason or another. And if you become too engrossed in an activity, it’s more than likely your body isn’t going to register as needing something, whether it be a snack or a bathroom break. If your brains can’t keep track of time, then you can work together so your phones will remember important things for you (it’d also take the stress off of his friends so they don’t have to wait for him once again).

Social cues? You don’t need them with Hizashi. You don’t have to focus on his facial expressions or gestures or tone when he isn’t afraid to shout his feelings towards the heavens. If anything, he’s apt to miss them as well. Though, he misses them because he typically isn’t paying enough attention to catch the subtle eyebrow lift or posture change. When you’re out together and ever wondering if you’re missing something, he isn’t afraid to ask others what’s going on or explain the undertones to you.

The loneliness and distress of navigating a neurotypical world are very hard to describe. You feel out of place, almost wrong, always heeding how your body is positioned, how your brain is taking in everything, and how inane and demanding small banter is. You try to blend in but never feel like you ever do, particularly in groups. It’s so much easier to have one on one time with someone, talking about and sharing your interests, showing you want them to also enjoy your interest because you care. It’s like giving a little piece of yourself over. And Hizashi is anything but unwilling to accept it. He may be extroverted and love people, but he values your time and voice, especially because he knows it isn’t easy to give.

At the end of a long day of masking and socializing, the second you step through the door, a crash is just waiting to happen. It’s not just mental. It’s emotional, physical, and nearly visceral: forced eye contact that wears you thin, dealing with scratchy, strappy clothing, and restraining all your taps and flaps. After hours upon hours, it takes everything. And for what? To repeat it all the next day? Avoid attention? Stockpile stress, anxiety, and tension that’ll lead straight to burnout and leave you incapable of properly functioning?

Hizashi, like any caring partner, is most worried about the last one. He’s had to withhold his drumming and humming He knows how awful those pent-up nerves are once they come flooding out. It hurts. Everything is ten-times louder, ten-times brighter, saturating too deep, too thick, stealing your voice, and leaving you a mess. He does his best to help you to your room and make sure you have water and a light snack. If you need to be alone with the feelings, he understands. He’ll putter around your place, so you don’t have to worry about dishes or sweeping that evening. If you don’t want to be alone, he’ll happily lay with you, providing a nice, warm weight. You can play with his hair, or he can rub a soft blanket along your skin, soothing the ignited nerves.

[overx]

thegatesofinfinitespace​:

Considering it is better than not at all! Psi chooses to take his chances with the offer, leaning back with a grin. It was rare if at all that he’d seen the OVER performing his actual duties. (Outside of those thousands of hours on his monitors, but that wasn’t in the field…)

He watches the reploid struggle to answer in a concise fashion, knowing full well he could not. Verse had been built for something extraordinary, but because of that… it was simply impossible to explain in something easy to comprehend at a glance.

Verse’s question is a simple one, and for that the X relents, flashing a wink. “I think you know that answer. You’re a little curious to see what happens too, aren’t you?”

Having fun indeed. 

When... did they last spend time together like this? Or rather, when was it for Psi? 

“Intentionally sabotaging my systems to see if there is some change?” While the OVER found it unlikely, aside from his... somewhat wondering thoughts, it is interesting to him nonetheless. “...yes, I suppose I am curious.” 

Anything to learn. Maybe that made him an easy target this time around. Not that he truly minded with his present company-- or really could to begin with. Verse slides out of his spot across from Psi momentarily, only to settle in beside the X instead. 

Is it a ploy to apply pressure without asking unpleasant questions? Of course it is, but he wanted the other reploid to continue having a good evening if at all possible. “I never did ask you,” Verse reaches for the bottle on the table, to refill his glass. 

“...when did you realize you were interested in me? Or perhaps how, is a more appropriate question?” He is somewhat unsure exactly which version of this is best to ask. Emotions were far too abstract for Verse to really conceptualize the path that lead them here. The OVER heavily weighed the pros and cons of each action he took, there was no gut feeling. No eureka, nor sudden moments of inspiration.

[realcube]

you flinch during an argument pt2

navi | masterlist | part one

thank you to anon for this request

characters ♡ sugawara, bokuto & akaashi

tw ♡ cursing, angst, mentions of abuse, hurt to comfort, hinted ptss, mentions of ashes/cremation & parent! reader in bokuto’s

KŌSHI SUGAWARA

♡ a grimace; the expression sugawara had been wearing for the last 10 minutes as he bickered with you in the kitchen while cooking his meal prep

♡ “i just don’t understand why you need to study for hours on end. at this point, i think you’re just making excuses to avoid me.” sugawara spoke, his incomprehensible tone making it impossible for you to decipher whether he was being kind or condescending, or whether that last comment was supposed to be a joke

♡ “why would i do that?” you inquired innocently, keeping your gaze fixated on preparing your own meal. honestly, he didn’t deserve even a shred of your attention after elongating the conversation to no end. “exams are less than a week away and if i don’t pass then the last two years will have been for nothing. not that i’d expect you to understand.”

♡ you acknowledged that was a low blow, but your mind told you to just blurt out the first thing that you knew would make him shut up, and it unfortunately worked. 

♡ immediately feeling a wave of wave of regret wash over you, you shuffled over to his place at the kitchen counter, pressing your cheek to his arm to show affection before muttering, “sorry, i didn’t mean that. please don’t take it personally, kōshi.”

♡ usually an act like that would put an end to one of your silly squabbles but today was different

♡ out of the corner of your eye, you noticed something come flying towards you and — contextually — it didn’t take long for you to figure out that it was sugawara’s hand 

♡ that was enough reason your mind need to take the following course of action: your arms shot up to shield your the side of your face while your knees bent, brining you closer to the ground while your eyelids squeezed shut

♡ although after a few without the expected impact, your eyes fluttered open and you dropped your guard, allowing yourself a few moments to collect yourself before looking up at your boyfriend who’s demeanour had changed completely from a few seconds ago 

♡ now, his face was pale and his jaw was tight. as for his eyes, not so long ago they were faux-soft, now it was as if he had witnessed a crime; his pupils were constricted and his eyes were wide. he still stood tall as always but he appeared to be frozen in place, with his arm — that you had deemed a threat — looming above your head 

♡ you glanced up for a moment just to take a look, and upon noticing how his hand was cupped, you realised that his intention was to pat your head. it was a gentle gesture which he did often to show affection so you couldn’t help but wonder why you’d ever assume he was going to inflict harm on you 

♡ “(y/n)!” he finally managed to choke out, hastily retracting his hand back to his side, “are you alright?” 

♡ you were unsure as to why he was asking such a question, considering that he didn’t even lay a finger on you, but you answered none the less, “i’m fine, are you?” 

♡ it was clear that you didn’t think much of your actions, which made sugawara even more concerned. if he were to be completely honest, he wanted nothing more than to pull you into a hug and prattle on about how much he loved you and how he would protect you with his life for hours on end, but he knew that’d be an immature way to deal with such a situation so acting in an adult fashion, he stood at a respectable distance from you and spoke concisely

♡ “why’d you flinch?” he blurted out, feeling like a complete idiot as you replied almost immediately with, “i’m not sure.”

♡ your nonchalant and unaffected attitude made him wonder if he was making a big deal out of your simple action, since you didn’t seem that bothered by it at all. however, his morals spoke louder than logic and told him that he needed to resolve this issue, even you didn’t view it as such.

♡ “i swear i’d never do something like that.” was all he could think to say. so he decided it was best to stay silent right now, allowing you to head up to your room to study without another word spoken. 

♡ the next hour or so was spent trying to think of something to say to you. evidently, he was at a loss for words and all he could do was bury his face into his arms and mentally curse himself for being so confrontational over such a trivial problem

♡ eventually, he came to the conclusion that you’d probably want some space so for now, he’d allow you to study in peace and come out to talk when you are ready 

♡ but he is still sugawara, so expect there to be a place of sliced fruits outside your bedroom accompanied by a little motivational note 

KŌTARŌ BOKUTO 

♡ arguments with bokuto only came once every blue moon since you both seemed to agree almost all the time, and even when you didn’t, bokuto would either apologise within less than a minute or simply oblige because he hates seeing you mad at him, or just mad in general 

♡ but sometimes — no matter how much he apologised — you’d still resent him for whatever he did, and a part of him just felt like that was so unfair. perhaps it was a childish thought, but why can’t you just understand that he made a mistake and move on? after all, he always learns and it’s rare that he makes the same mistake twice, so why are you still angry?

♡ plus, he always forgives you immediately when you do something wrong. he just wanted the same treatment and he realised this at the worst moment possible.

♡ “saying sorry won’t fix it!” you barked, wiping away the tears as they fell from your lashline. your skin felt like it was on fire but you paid no mind, just focussing on remaining stable and not losing yourself to a crying fit, “it’s gone forever now, i hope you are happy.”

♡ bokuto seeing you upset more than anything, and knowing that he was the cause of your tears only made things worse. he felt so worthless. 

♡ the only words combatting the voice in his head telling him that he couldn’t do anything right, were the ones reassuring him that it was simply an accident and that if he had known that there were ashes in that jar, he would’ve been more careful when walking around it. 

♡ “i don’t know why i take this from you.” he muttered under his breath but still loud enough for you to hear. of course, you thought you had misheard him as you knew him better than to say something so audacious, “huh?”

♡ “i don’t know why i take this from you!” he repeated, but this time he lunged forward to yell it right in your face so you’d hear him for sure. “there’s nothing i can do to fix it now, so why can’t you just forgive me?! i’m so sorry and i’d do anything to make it up to you yet you are still so fucking nasty to me! no one wants to be with a stubborn bitch!” 

♡ blinded by rage, it took him a few moments to realise that you weren’t standing as you were before he lunged at you, but rather you had stumbled backwards and were now on the ground with your hands raised in defence

♡ as much as he wanted to continue with his momentum and yell at you while you were down, his subconscious acted fist by outstretching his hand to help you up, “(y/n), why are y--”

♡ he cut himself off as something finally clicked in his mind, helping him realise that he was the reason you were on the ground. you must’ve flinched and fell backwards when he suddenly moved towards you, but why? i mean, it’s not like he was gonna hurt you. so were you just surprised? well, if you were just shocked by his movements you probably wouldn’t be defensive and appear terrified.

♡ upon coming to this conclusion, bokuto dropped down to his knees and shuffled towards you, evidently having calmed down as his cheeks were no longer red with fury and his eyebrows had separated. 

♡ “i’m so sorry.” he mused with wide-eyes, his blank expression and stare kinda scaring you as not even for a moment did he release you from his gaze.

♡ ‘sorry’ appeared to be the word of the day

♡ “i’m sorry too, kō.” you admitted, lowering your head and allowing the hair that hung down in front of your face to shield you from bokuto’s penetrating stare. “i know you didn’t break it on purpose, so of course you are forgiven.” you knew the feeling of frustration all too well, and you were ashamed that you were cause of it for bokuto.

♡ like magic, your statement pulled bokuto out of his trance and back to reality, where he was able to beam and throw his arms open to offer you a hug, “you don’t need to apologise. c’mere!”

♡ you hesitated at first, but there was truly nothing more comforting than the sight of bokuto’s bright smile and glistening cheeks under the golden sunlight which seeped in from passed the blinds; it was almost angelic. hence you found yourself leaning into his arms without a second thought, finding solace in the way his shaky breath tickled the warm skin of your neck

♡ though he didn’t say much in the moment, the image of you cowering in fear away from him will permanently be inked into his mind 

♡ but that’s not to say his words didn’t have an effect on you

♡ your kid grew up knowing endless forgiveness and tolerance from both you and bokuto, as whenever you saw your son’s golden eyes gaze up at you through a stream of tears, all you could see was bokuto, and all you could hear was him calling you a stubborn bitch 

♡ it was almost funny how your brain made that correlation, but rather than laugh, you simply smiled and kneeled down in front of your son, cupping his cheek in your hand, “it’s fine. i forgive you.”

♡ the poor boys glossy gaze flickered between you and the shards of the mug he had chosen for you scattered across the floor

♡ his teeth gritted together, presenting an expression of anguish which was only highlighted by both of his fist curling into balls before he lunged forward to throw his arms over your shoulders and bawl into your chest, “i’m so sorry!”

♡ you pouted, glancing between your son and bokuto who just stood with an awkward smile on his face, watching the scene while knowing full well that it was mostly his fault for entrusting a fragile mug to a four-year-old 

♡ although, it wasn’t as if you could stay mad at either of them; you love them too much

KEIJI AKAASHI

♡ arguments with akaashi were rare. after all, communication is key in a relationship and he ensures that you both tell each other everything. hence you can see the irony in the situation where his order of transparency is exactly the reason you were so pissed off.

♡ “please tell me what’s wrong, dear.” akaashi almost whispered, trailing behind you like lost puppy while you stormed towards your front door in order to lead him out

♡ “i’m tired, i said i‘ll tell you later.” you groaned, feeling guilty for being so impatient with him but you truly didn’t have the energy to argue or explain how you were feeling tonight. really all you wanted was to get some rest and discuss everything in the morning but akaashi clearly felt like there was something deeper that needed to be unpacked first.

♡ “you say that but you’ll probably be too tired tomorrow as well.”

♡ you quirked a brow, taking a pause and leaning against your doorframe just as you were about to lock him out, “and so what if am? goodnight."

♡ “don’t be immature.” each word sharper than the last, they stung your eyes.

♡ “tomorrow, akaashi. love yo—"

♡ the next few moments were a blur. It was as though your body reacted on it’s own to seeing akaashi reach out towards your face, so without a moment of consideration, you found yourself jerking away from his touch; appearing alarmed while your heart rate skyrocketed for reasons beyond your knowledge

♡ once your mind was finally able to comprehend what happened and absorb the context, it didn’t take long for you to figure out that he outstretched his hand so he could tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ears, an act of affection he performs often yet it just happened to slip your mind

♡ akaashi yanked his arm back to his side, staring at his hand — eyes filled with disgust — as if he were presented with a murder weapon. despite that, his self-loathing was short-lived as he immediately inquired, “are you okay? do you need water?” he wasn’t really familiar with the ideal procedure he should take in a situation like this, so he used his judgment which told him that water was the solution to most problems, hence this should be no different.

♡ before you could deny his offer, he was already rummaging through his satchel in search of his water bottle, and once he found it he was quick to hand it to you

♡ after taking a few sips of water, you placed his bottle back in his bag and zipped it up for him, “thank you.” you murmured, not sure as to whether you should apologise or just play it off as if nothing happened. however, guessing by the dazed look in akaashi’s eyes, it would be safe to assume that these events have been permanently inked into his memory

♡ for the first time ever, he was truly at a loss. usually people would look to him when in trouble – or even danger – but now he was the threat, the cause of your stress

♡ perhaps it was because of how long you’ve been together, or maybe it was due to the fact you converse so often with him, but you could read akaashi like an open book. where others see a deadpan, dull setter; you see your boyfriend who is just in desperate need of affirmation from time to time

♡ a few minutes ago, you could’ve sworn you didn’t have enough energy to smile or communicate your feelings but here you were now, wearing the sweetest grin you could muster and humming in a honeyed voice, “i really do love you, keiji. and i’m not afraid of you either.” to emphasise your point, you leaned forward to plant a brief kiss on his cheek and tuck an imaginary loose strand of hair behind his ear, all while he stood speechless. not that you expected a reply anyway.

♡ “i love you too, dear.” akaashi finally uttered after an elongated period of silence.

♡ it was amazing how much you could tell simply from his eyes. his irises no longer vibrated as if they were pending an eruption, and pity behind his gaze seemed to have dissipated slightly. there was still somewhat of a glassy look to them, but he could say the same about yours.

♡ “goodnight. i’ll message you in the morning.” he smiled, mimicking the kindness in yours well as he turned around, promptly heading towards the bus stop with a final wave of his hand

♡ and he didn’t lie either. not only did he text you goodnight again, at exactly 6AM you received a notification from none other than akaashi himself reading:

♡ ‘good morning, sweetheart <3  how’d you sleep? i’m about to head to the shop, do you need anything?’

♡ although you denied his offer, he ended up buying you your favourite drink anyway

[wearepaladin]

Your 5 main Tarnished post was very intriguing to me, its so concise and well worded, and it inspired me to think bit about their themes, and how they contrast each other. Hope Im not bothering:

Godfrey is intriguing, because he is such liminal character. He is the first Tarnished, and also former Elden Lord, and as you said, first among humans and father of demigods. He is a paladin, and his god is his wife, and he derives his authority from her. He was personally stripped of grace, and may have accepted that to fulfill his god's plans. He is in a way archetype to all Tarnished, and he comes to reclaim his home, and to do that, he may have to fight past his own children and possibly even his own spouse, in whatever form they take

Gideon, in contrast to mytical Godfrey, is more ''realistic'' for what it counts at least, leader of Tarnished. Informal and not accepted on large, but he seems to manage Roundtable Hold in practicality, and is most focused on the quest to claim Elden Ring, though he doesn't seem to care for it so much as to sit on throne himself. And in the end, he proves a pious, if fanatical, willing to see will of Marika done, no matter how much it hurts him, similar to Morgott

Dung-Eater is interesting to contrast to Omens as whole. If you progress his quest, you learn he isn't an Omen, but a normal human obsessed with what they represent in people's minds, and seeks to embody horrificness they symbolize, with his armor set even saying ''a heart of an omen, without heart to match.'' He is essentially the human who embodies everything omens are accused off, and fetishizes them in return

Goldmask is interesting to me because he is, in a way, a priest who holds even his gods to what he believes his faith demands of him. He is also intriguing because its stated he ''discovered'' mending rune of perfect order, not created it like others. On the other hand, I do have to ask myself if his order wouldnt perhaps be even more rigid than previous version, both because he is focused so much on stability and stasis, and because what prompts his revelation that Order needs fixing is (and im aware im banalising this)- Marika having more complicated gender than first assumed

Fia is again interesting to me, because she is essentially cleric who builds up her own religion and enthrones her own god. Nobody cares about Those Who Live in Death, and Godwyn is just a corpse, but she will not let that stop her. Her dedication to Godwyn is especially interesting, I can't help but wonder, did she know him, before being Tarnished? Or did she simply find his corpse, all alone, and decided that she will make him company and find way to both make him a god of death as well as restore his soul, despite it being impossible. Her entire life revolves around death and resurrection, and that makes her attachment to Elden Ring-verse's undead very fun and complex. Lastly, she seems to me like a gothic, more morally ambigious take on Mary Mother of God of all people- she refers to Godwyn as ''lord of meek'', awaits his ressurection and promised day of salvation for Those Who Live in Death (even naming herself as their mother), but she works to engineer that promised day, referring to creation of her mending rune as child of god she will bear forth in the world

I apologise for rambling and bothering, you just inspired me with your great post!

I'm so happy to inspire you. And I do like your perspective, even if I'm not 100% with you on a small deal of it.

[demonicheadcanons]

The Obey Me Brothers Reaction to MC Breaking Down Over Schoolwork

(Initial ask contains an ableist slur and so cannot be posted. Please, in future, refrain from using slurs in any asks sent in!! It has since been added to my rules and I will straight up delete asks with slurs in them. Thank you <3)

AN: Apologies for taking so long to get to this one, its been in my inbox for a while. I’m sorry you were feeling that way, its really difficult getting adjusted to everything again, I work in a school and a lot of the students and teachers alike are definitely really struggling. Best wishes <3

I think I’m usually okay at not letting slip that Levi is my favourite boy, but you can tell here ;u; Sorry

Lucifer

He realises all too late that things are probably tough. Initially Lucifer is distant, and whilst he notices how tired you look sometimes at RAD, he decides to ignore it - you were probably distressed because you had been pulled into the Devildom out of nowhere, you’d just have to adapt because nothing else could be done. In his mind it was pointless worrying about it.

However, as he begins to pay more and more attention to you, he realises its more than that. You frown in class, your grades jump around and you don’t leave your room regularly, probably too busy focusing on studying. The few times you’ve accepted his offer of help, you seem to be on edge.

He decides one night to check in on you, and he hears a harsh thud from a few paces down the hall. He throws the door open without knocking, convincing himself that he was just worried you might be hurt because they needed you for the exchange programme and it would be a pain replacing you now, months into the whole endeavour.

You whirl around, arm still raised, your grip tight on your textbook. He looks about and sees other books scattered about, the room a mess.

Lucifer makes a low growling noise in the back of his throat, raising a hand to press against his temples before he freezes, finally taking in the look on your face. Your eyes are wide, having been essentially caught by the one person you really, really wouldn’t want to see you right now. You lower your arm slowly as he approaches, taking your face in his hands before you can duck away from him.

His tone and expression are impossible to place as he silently examines you, gloved hands wiping across your cheeks to get rid of any traces of your tears. You don’t have the time to process any of it before he pulls you against his chest, wrapping his arms carefully around your shoulders.

Lucifer is silent, almost eerily so, and he holds you there without moving until you either push him away or until you stop sniffling and drop the book. Even when he does speak again, he’s quiet, deep in thought as he looks around the room and tells you simply to head over to his - he’ll bring you something to eat shortly, get some rest in the meantime. You mumble something about a test, and he waves a hand. He’ll bring the textbook, its fine, go rest.

It takes him a half hour to get to his room, carrying a tray with some tea and snacks. Your textbook is tucked under one arm, and he gently invites you to eat before he starts talking things out. He asks if classes are too difficult, asks if there’s anything in particular you’re struggling with. He makes a lot of offers - Luci is a busy guy, but he can free up a time slot if you want to study with him, or he can get you a tutor, or you can simply text him your concerns and he’ll respond as soon as he’s available. His advice is simple and realistic.

Once you’re done eating and drinking, he opens the textbook and goes over the things that are most likely to be on the test. He gives tips, explains the things that confuse you in a clear and concise manner. He’s a good teacher, and he’s a lot more patient than you’ve seen him before.

Overall, Lucifer is a quiet comfort, but a determined one. He works to make things easier for you in the background, marking out important parts of the textbook so you know what to focus on, and offering a hand whenever you need it. Also, when you get back to your room later, your books are neatly organised on your desk.

[Other brothers under the read more]

Mammon

Mammon randomly pops into your room quite often, making excuses about how he’s absolutely entitled to because he’s in charge of taking care of you. On this particular evening, you have absolutely no warning as per usual and he doesn’t bother knocking, because this boy only has good manners when it benefits him.

He freezes instantly, and he’s over to you in a second before you can throw whatever’s in your hand. His grip is careful but tight on your wrist and he squeezes until you let it go, tossing whatever it was onto your bed without looking and wrapping you up in his arms. You might feel trapped for a second, but he has this fear that you’re Going To Get Hurt and so he just holds onto you until you settle and start sobbing against his chest. (Mammon is panicking too much to think about it, and he’ll definitely apologise after and try not to do it again if he scared you.)

He pulls you over to the bed and sits you down, a hand smoothing through your hair. His grip remains on you at all times, and you can feel his hands shaking when he asks what’s wrong, MC? Did something happen?

Mammon listens carefully, swallowing and smoothing a hand over your hair when you tell him its because the work here is just too damn hard and you can’t do it, you can’t, you can’t remember all the dates for the history or recall the right Latin to say for this one course and its not like it matters anyway because you’re human, why would you need this?

He mumbles back “I know, I know,” and runs his hands down your arms, back, along your hair. Wherever he can to comfort you, wherever makes your breathing slow back to a normal pace and takes away the hiccups left from sobbing. He doesn’t force you to look at him, almost doesn’t want you to as he bites back sniffles and sobs and wipes his face against his sleeve because crying right now won’t fix anything for you.

When you’re both calmer again, he starts rambling about something or other to take your mind off it. Mammon isn’t one to offer any immediate solutions, and rather tries to distract you with stories until you fall asleep and he can lay you down and march straight to Lucifer and demand he talk to Diavolo about this, as fearless as if he were defending Belphie or Levi for accidentally breaking something.

You’re assigned a tutor, and have tutoring sessions with each of the brothers for things they’re good at, with Lucifer and Satan covering any areas the others don’t particularly excel in. Mammon himself helps you with maths, and although he isn’t always the best at explaining it, his presence along is comforting and helps makes working through a little easier, and he’s good for taking your mind away from any stress so that you can focus without worry holding you back.

Leviathan

He had just wanted to get something back that he loaned you, a book or DVD. He can’t remember what it was the second he hears a crash and throws open your door, and finds you in a ball on the floor, the room a mess around you. You don’t even look up as the door opens, and the two of you stay in place for a few moments.

Levi doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know where to start, but he can do one thing. Quietly and carefully, he tiptoes around your room and starts putting things back where they belong. He tidies your desk, faintly organises whatever notes he finds by subject and piles them up together. He doesn’t touch you, because he’s worried you wouldn’t want him to right now, that he might scare you, and so he just tidies until the room looks a little more normal again.

When you finally look up, he’s sitting a few feet in front of you, headphones on as he stares at his D.D.D., either playing a game or watching a video or scrolling through Wikis as he waits patiently for you to start the conversation or ask for whatever comforts you need. You move over to sit beside him, and he blushes but takes off his headphones and holds an arm out so you can rest against his shoulder.

He lets you watch whatever is on his phone for a beat before asking in a hushed voice if you need anything, if something was wrong, or if someone (maybe him?) upset you. When you tell him it’s about schoolwork, he sighs and pulls you closer without thinking about it. He hands you his D.D.D. and puts his headphones on you, tells you to stay there for a bit and keep watching until he gets back.

Levi returns a few minutes later with Satan in tow, each of them carrying a bag with their own textbooks in them. Levi kneels down to take back his D.D.D. and headphones and to help you up, and tells you you’re all going to start studying together in the library. If you’d be okay with it, he means... he could use the help too, and maybe it wouldn’t feel so bad if you were there. Not for any reason in particular!

Study sessions are added to your schedule after that. Even on days where Satan is off doing something else, Levi will tutor you on whatever he finds easiest - usually history, and oftentimes its history involving the navy. His shyness melts away into confidence as he talks about all the things he’s done, about how he was appointed head thousands of years ago and he thinks he’s yet to let Diavolo down.

After study sessions you go and get a drink together, something like bubble tea or smoothies or whatever, and then play games together to relax and let the info sink in instead of obsessing over it. If you ever start to get stressed out again, Levi gently puts his headphones on you and the two of you wait it out together, and he smiles at you every time you take the headphones off and take a deep breath, ready to keep working. He’s proud.

Satan

Satan is observant enough to notice ahead of time that something is about to happen. You seem horribly stressed and unfocused in your classes one day in particular, and he decides to stop by your room the second he gets home to find out what was wrong.

He knocks and waits for a while, but you don’t answer, and he was sure he heard noise before but now your room is deathly silent. He carefully creaks the door open a bit to call in and see if you’re there, and hears paper crumpling against the door. Deciding to investigate, he opens it a little more and slides in through the gap.

The room is a mess of books and paper and pillows, and you’re at your desk, hands clamped hard over your ears. You’re making some kind of whimpering noise every now and then, and Satan starts to piece things together as he gathers up books in one arm and smooths out paper. He taps you on the back before moving back a pace or two, just in case.

You freeze before turning around to look at him, seeming almost guilty, and he doesn’t really get why you’d feel that way but he holds up your books and clears his throat. “Do you want some help?”

Satan is more practical than emotional and, whilst he isn’t sure what kind of comfort he can offer you right now, he knows he can help with the work, help make it easier. He pulls a chair over beside you, motioning for you to scoot over, and leans against you as he opens the first book and asks where you were struggling. He keeps a constant connection between the two of you, either has his leg against yours or his entire side against you so that you know he’s there, so that you’re permanently aware of his presence.

He doesn’t look at you too often, not when you can see him do it. Even then, there’s no judgement in his gaze, just his brows furrowing slightly out of concern until your breathing in alright and you start to smile in little bursts again. He smiles then as well, scribbling down some notes for you.

After that, Satan regularly pulls you aside after class and asks if you want to come out with him to a cafe or to the library, or he’ll call you to his room in the house and ask if you’ll let him teach you this set of notes so that he can remember it better. He’s subtle, never really brings up what happened and never asks you about it because he’s already got it all figured out in his mind. Instead, he just works on moving on from it and making sure it doesn’t happen again, and if it does, he’ll be ready to be there for you again.

Asmodeus

Asmo had decided to visit your room because you weren’t responding to his messages asking if you wanted to go out shopping with him. Majolish had new season wear and he absolutely needed to go get first pickings at it, and he wanted you there by his side.

He knocks but opens your door immediately after anyway, not giving you time to do much more than turn to face the door, bringing the pillow you were about to throw up over your face instead so he can’t read too much of your expression. He sees the tears, anyway, and without thinking walks over to you and holds your face in his hands.

His voice is laced with concern as he asks what’s wrong, and he immediately looks like he’s going to cry as well, but he just did his makeup and he’s not going to risk ruining it right now. Instead he moves over to the bed and pulls you down onto his lap, holding you tight against his chest. He keeps asking, every few moments, if something was wrong and if there’s anything he can do, and his eyes dart around the room to try to piece it all together. Your books were still out on your desk, pillows a mess around the room, and you... You were curled up against him, shaking and choking down sobs.

Asmo pouts and holds you in silence until you calm down and start talking to him, start telling him what was wrong, what subject you’d been struggling with over the past hour and you were still stuck on the same damn page and not making any progress and the test was only a few days away and everyone was expecting so much from you, you who never even asked to be here. Obviously you weren’t good enough for this, obviously they should’ve chosen someone better-

Asmo cuts you off there, pushes against your shoulders until he can see your expression and cup your face in his hands. He’s not having you put yourself down because you’re struggling with work that the centuries-old demons also had a hard time with, not on his watch, and he tells you just as much. When he’s done half-scolding you, his expression softens and he offers whatever help he can. He’s sure he can rope Satan or Lucifer into helping out, and if not he can charm the examiners into giving you a better score... he keeps going until some of his silly advice gets you to snort out a little laugh, and then he relaxes.

He lays back and pulls you down with him, sighing as he instructs you to take a nap, and then after you two can go out shopping and you’ll figure everything out as you strip Majolish bare of its new wonderful outfits. And Asmo keeps to his word. As you’re trying things on he talks through the stall walls, proposing different ideas to you whilst simultaneously boosting your confidence as he compliments you and finds the perfect outfits for you.

Asmo makes it clear that if ever you should need a distraction, just give him a call - there’s always something better to do than reading over textbooks, and he’ll throw in study sessions so long as you’re there to spend time with him. Anything to make you feel better.

Beelzebub

Beel was in the kitchen, clearing out the fridge as usual when he heard a muffled thud against the wall. He pauses, turning to look in that direction, and realises that its the wall attached to your room.

He’s outside your door in no time, and taps nervously against it with his fingertips before opening the door slightly and calling in to ask if you were okay, and could he come in please? He hesitates when you don’t respond, but decides to head in anyway, because you might be hurt and any embarrassments he’s sure the two of you could live with, but with an injury there was no guarantee, not for a human.

There are books everywhere, the room as messy as he’s ever seen it, and you’re... nowhere to be seen. Not until he hears a sniffle and rounds the corner into the dining room section, and finds you curled up in a ball against the wall, face against your knees. He’s quick to back away, worried that he’ll upset you more, but then Beel kneels down a few paces in front of you and leans forward to tap your arm.

You flinch and look up immediately, pulling your knees closer to your chest until you realise its him, and then you just look guilty. Beel’s chest hurts, he feels horrible - what happened to make you feel like this? Could he help, or should he go get someone else? He asks just as much, voice somewhat broken over the questions as he hesitates. He doesn’t get this anxious often, but right now you remind him of Belphie a few thousand years ago, and he doesn’t know what to do with that.

He pushes the thought away and slides closer, sitting against the wall beside you. His presence might not help, and he waits for you to tell him to leave, but after a while you press against his side and he opens his arms to you and holds you as tight as he can until you feel a little bit okay again. And then he asks, again, what’s wrong, and he waits for you to tell him, shaking but as patient as can be. You open up to him slowly, and he listens.

Beel doesn’t know how to help, doesn’t think he’d be a good tutor for you, doesn’t know how to relieve the stress really. But, he promises his arms are always there if you want a warm hug, and... he is sure that there is some resolution to be found, but for now you should just do your best and that’s all anyone could expect from you, and if anyone doesn’t like that then... he’ll be your bodyguard, ready to defend you at any moment. He was good at that, sometimes.

Beel smiles at you and gives you the warmest smile he can manage before tucking your head back against his shoulder or chest. He tells you to rest for a little while, and then you can try working again later. Whilst you’re asleep, he pulls out his D.D.D. and messages Belphie asking for advice, and then Lucifer. By the time you wake up, he’s got a few tips from the brothers and a tutoring timetable is being organised by Lucifer for the two of you, so that you wouldn’t be alone.

Belphegor

Belphie doesn’t know why he was on his way to your room, and he stops thinking about it the second he throws the door open and sees you crying. He’s too tired to put the pieces together as he looks around, too tired to really take in the room, but he’s on high alert when he runs over and wraps you in his arms, looking around properly to see if anyone was there, if anyone had hurt you.

You can hear him growling in the back of his throat until he slowly relaxes, shoulders lowering as he takes in how messy your room is. It must’ve been you, he decides, holding you closer to him. A demon would’ve left this place in a horrible state. But nothing was torn, just scattered around.

He’s more awake when he pulls you over to the bed and immediately lays down with you on his chest. He doesn’t get what’s wrong yet, but he’ll figure it out. He wills his powers, his sin’s influence, over you until you’re drowsy and fall asleep, still sniffling occasionally, and then he starts to work things out.

By the time you wake up, Belphie apologises for how disorientated you might feel. He probably should’ve talked to you first before making you fall asleep. He smiles sheepishly at you, but the concern in his eyes is only thinly veiled, and you can see through to it.

“So, school, huh?” he asks, lopsided smile almost teasing. He wants to make you smile, or laugh if he’s lucky. Instead you make a frustrated noise and press your face into his chest again, and he pats your head to comfort you. You hear him swallow before he pushes against your shoulders to get you to look at him again.

He’s not hiding so much when he asks what’s wrong, and he listens as you stumble through an explanation before sighing and asking if you want to take another nap. He grins when you glare at him, before adjusting you both so you’re sitting up again. “Let’s get to work, then. What subject is first?”

Belphie isn’t the best at a lot of the work, and he’s missed a lot of classes, but he’s a decent help and he keeps your stress down by cracking jokes and patting your head when you do well. He’s a comforting presence, and if you get overwhelmed again he leans his elbows against the desk, head in hands, and suggests you take another nap with him because he could really use one right now. He laughs when you swat at him and tell him to focus, and then looks at you and tells you that you can come to him if you need help, anytime. Don’t wake him up if he’s deep asleep, though - get Mammon or someone stupid to do that, he jokes, just in case he lashes out.

In future, Belphie will tap on your door when he knows you’re studying and, although he often falls asleep at your desk or just immediately heads over to your bed to nap, he gives off a comforting aura that makes the work a bit bearable for longer.