#most of us are here BECAUSE of the fucked up connotations. and we know. especially when ur talking to adults i PROMISE. we know

[devotedlystrangewizard]

tbh i think that there are two varieties of enemies to lovers when a lot of people consider there to only be the one and thats like. 90% of "are toxic ships valid" discourse. bc everyone who isnt really in the toxic ships business tends to think we all view every toxic ship as an "ok they both hurt each other a lot but what if they would grow past that" ship. yeah theres enemies to lovers that ends in a really sweet relationship and thats fantastic! but some toxic ships really are just toxic. theyre fun because theyre toxic. because exploring character dynamics is fun. something like that

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

[askinkiskarma]

Ok, so I need to get this off my chest because it’s been weighing heavily on my mind. I’ve never properly addressed this because I honestly think it’s not something that deserves the traffic, but my entire feed has been overwhelmed with negativity and it’s genuinely making me want to not be on here anymore.

1. I age up my characters. No, that absolutely does not make me a paedophile. You don’t like it, the door’s right there, the block button’s easily accessible, i tag my fics, you can block tags, there’s so many things you can do.

2. Throwing words with such horrible and serious connotations around as a hyperbole is not quirky and doesn’t make you interesting, it makes you an asshole who diminishes and undermines real world problems to make yourself feel better about literally the most inane of non-problems.

3. If you have time to give a shit about someone you don’t know on the internet who finds joy in some artistic relief, you haVE TOO MUCH TIME!!! I’m curious how many of you actually have any concern or involvement in anything regarding actual paedophilia, that concerns actual kids, actual real life people.

4. If you do indeed believe that someone who ages up a literal fictional tall blue alien is a “paedophile”, you genuinely, genuinely need to go out and touch some grass, BUT what absolutely KILLS me is the absolute unhinged hypocrisy: you want to think you’re better than me, you denounce my work publicly, and then FOLLOW ME and reblog my Jake smut (?!???!?). Like this actually blows my mind. So in your eyes, i am the scum of the earth, i deserve to die and go to jail cause i am “sexualising minors”, but THEN you’re ok with it when you get off to my smut that you do agree with. HOW?! You must be so flexible cause that’s some impressive mental acrobatics. Congrats!!!

5. YOU CANNOT PICK AND CHOOSE WHAT YOU’RE MORALLY SUPERIOR ABOUT!!! Pls get that through your head. If you can forgive “deviant” behaviour when you’re horny and need a Jake fic to get yourself off to, honey baby, you’re just as bad, cause you’re proving you’re willing to bend your morals for your own pleasure and selfish needs. Like PLEASE BE FOR FUCKING REAL!!!

6. This is for my readers and readers of fics in general - if you like what we write, please, please show it. I have seen/talked to several of my mutuals who want to take a step back because of so much negativity that outweighs the support at the moment. If you want to keep being able to enjoy this content, please show your favourite writers some love, especially at this time.

7. And for my mutuals/besties, please, please don’t get discouraged. I know it’s hard, and it sucks, and it’s so disheartening, but i am here to talk and here to stay, and we can get through this together. It would hurt me so badly to see genuinely talented, beautiful, creative, kind people be driven away by some lowlives with nothing better to do than bully people. Stay strong and know I’m always here for you.

This is the first and last time i will be addressing this. I will not be engaging with these people anymore, and i will be using the block button incredibly liberally going forward. Remember you’re responsible for curating your online experience. You don’t like/agree with something, FUCKING BLOCK ME. I BEG YOU.

That’s all. Stay safe and good luck, my loves. I love you. Xoxoxox

[allthngs]

one thing i didn’t notice about syzygy that came to me after i saw the episode it’s the mulder-scully-white situation related to the syzygy. let me start from the beginning.

at a certain point during the episode we understand (or at least i understood cause english’s not my first language and i was like “what the fuck’s a syzygy?”) that a syzygy is an astronomical alignment of three celestial objects, usually the sun, the moon and a third planet. they also tell us which planets are involved this time around: mars, uranus and mercury. we know that teri and margi (and the whole city actually) are going bonkers because of the alignment but i got the idea that the three of them (m&s+w) may represent the three planets.

i don’t have a big knowledge about astrology, but the internet’s really resourceful, so this is what i understood: mars is the planet of aggression, it determines how you assert yourself, take action and the energy that surrounds you (especially related to sex and anger). mercury on the other hand determines communication, how you talk and think. and uranus is the planet related to the unexpected and it has an external connotation so people think it doesn’t really influences earth that much.

this alignment explains perfectly teri and margi’s actions, but it also tells something about the triangle we talked about before. detective white is clearly uranus, cause of the external connotation i talked about: she’s outside of mulder & scully’s dynamic, she influences it briefly and as soon as the syzygy is over so is she.

i’ve been thinking a lot about the other two, in a way both mulder and scully can be either mars or mercury but i think scully is mars.

what she’s struggling to most here is trying not to lose control, which is really atypical of her if you think about what we’ve seen of her since now. control is something she’s always had, but that she seems to be losing frequently during the episode (she’s even smoking, something that we’ve never seen her do) and this lack of control is turning into anger for her. she’s bored during the interrogation, she’s annoyed at white’s ideas, she’s mad with mulder for not backing her up and agreeing with white.

mulder on the other hand represents mercury. he seems to be the usual mulder we know and love, but he’s actually finding it hard to use the right words towards scully. she usually understands him instantly, they don’t even have to verbally communicate anymore cause they share a silent language that only the two of them speak, they just get each other. but in here it looks like all the signals he’s sending her are messed up. to the point where she feels left behind by him (i’m talking about the one scene where she says she didn’t imagine he would ditch her and he’s like “i didn’t ditch you” and she’s “fine, whatever”).

of course each planet also has connotations related to the pairs they form. mars related to its sex tendency is mulder-white e of course also mulder-scully, even if i think what fits them the most here is mercury. scully-white just can’t be read in this way cause i think scully projects everything she seems to be despising about white on mulder.

what do you think? am i looking things that clearly aren’t there? i’m sorry if it was astrology for dummies but it made sense in my head.

[naranjapetrificada]

Izzy becomes a "real boy"

So obviously I haven't been able to shut up about the way Izzy has been written in season 2 and I stand by my disappointment and criticism, even knowing that the writers were given a herculean task of cramming 10 pounds of season into an 8 pound bag. Even knowing that, his "arc" such as it is has felt very off to a lot of people, present company included. I'm a cogitator at heart (thanks AuDHD!) and that can turn "make it make sense" into a prime directive sometimes. So here I am, trying once again.

I felt a particular way about Izzy after the end of season 1, which I would describe as "not especially strongly" because I primarily saw his character as a storytelling tool/useful foil more than anything else. But his presence and characterization in season 2 have been haunting me this time and not in a good way, because I've spent this season trying and failing to make it make sense. But something just occurred to me that I hope I can explain in a coherent way:

If season 1 Izzy was more a storytelling tool than anything else, maybe season 2 was an attempt to turn the puppet into a Real Boy. And if so, maybe things did not go as planned.

There are so, so many good posts going into the things that don't work about how Izzy has been handled this season, to the point that I'm not gonna try reinventing the wheel. Some of the reasons it hasn't worked for some of us include:

Much of his alleged growth apparently happening offscreen, most likely due to the reduced budget and episode count.

The lack of connective tissue between many of his scenes, some of which can be attributed to the previous point about corporate fuckery but other parts of which are hard to explain beyond "idk I guess the writers felt like it?"

The unfortunate connotations of sidelining nonwhite characters like Jim, who was the only character beyond the central pair to receive a detailed backstory, flashbacks, and a multi-episode character arc

The unchecked racialized comments he gets to drop about Edward (calling him a "wild dog" or seemingly mixing him up with Roach) that in season 1, would have resulted in violent retribution as a sign of the story's disapproval

The lines we get from Izzy that feel like they should have been said by other characters, and maybe that would have been based on the expectations of the show that we left season 1 with

The way it seems like Izzy's suffering is being used as a stand-in for actual moments of reflection or atonement, which is a pretty fucked up dynamic to set up as precursor to redemption

The way Izzy now gets to partake in the very behaviors he denigrated in Ed last season, which would be a cool and moving character beat if there was a single, solitary narrative acknowledgement in the harm caused by his treatment of Ed in s1e10. Ditto for him apparently just being cool with shit that once would have been his worst nightmare.

The fact that so many of these issues could have been addressed in a quick throwaway line or two that showed that the narrative understood what was wrong to reassure us all because by definition if a character is getting a redemption arc, it's because they did something wrong, right?

There's plenty more of course, but that's not why I made this post. I made this post because regardless of why the decision was made to handle Izzy this way this season, the attempt was made to flesh him out in ways that his role last season may not have been initially written for. Con's performance and certain production choices hinted at a depth to his character that may or may not have been on the page, but helped make for a pretty interesting season 1 antagonist.

For season 2 they decided to make Izzy a real boy, but the combination of a reduced budget, a lower episode count, and whatever creative darlings they couldn't seem to kill in order to give us more development of his transformation made sticking the landing impossible because we're lacking certain elements for basic comprehension.

Imagine you know almost nothing of the story of Pinocchio and someone starts up the Disney movie version of it for you but it's a weirdly edited version of it. There's no narration from Jiminy Cricket, mostly because there's no Jiminy Cricket at all. We see Geppetto crafting a wooden puppet, but not the part where he wishes for him to be a real boy, which makes it kinda weird to then see the part where the fairy brings him to life and says he can become a real boy but okay, let's go with it.

Now let's say the one thing you've always heard about the story is that Pinocchio's nose grows when he lies. So we get to the scene where he lies to the fairy but for whatever reason, his nose doesn't grow. No one comments on the inconsistency, and when you mention the nose thing all anyone wants to talk about is how great Pinocchio's nose looks.

Then Pinocchio goes to Pleasure Island and while the animation and acting seem great as usual, and the language of cinema appears to be setting up something dark on the horizon. Then Pinocchio's new friend Lampwick starts transforming into a donkey, this random well-dressed cricket shows up to admonish Pinocchio, and our puppet friend is randomly immune to the thing turning other kids into donkeys. No one comments on that either. Maybe Pinocchio even gloats about it a little, which seems like a weird storytelling decision that merits a follow up discussion later.

And I guess this is the part of this over-extended metaphor where you remember you have somewhere to be but you'll finish the film later, because as an audience we won't know how things shake out for season 2 Izzy until the finale. Presumably we'll still get the scene where he magically turns into a real boy, but there isn't exactly time for anything else like all that stuff with the whale. Maybe the real boy scene will happen, but for whatever reason the animator kept drawing him like the wooden puppet and every time you point it out no one will take you seriously.

Wouldn't that be a weird thing to experience?

[srirachaz]

you know what something that is really disappointing, especially as someone who is fat myself, when in the kpop community there are discussions of gross people in kpop and inevitably shindong comes up. and i dislike that guy as much as the next person but insults towards him are like 5% related to the gross things he does and 95% related to his weight.

(most of the comments looked just like this)

and compared to his group mates who have done equally gross things, i think that shindong gets extra hate simply because he’s fat. this post wasn’t even about him and he got dragged into in.

and hell i still get thirst edits of heechul flying around and some of the things he’s done id say are worse than some of the stuff shindong has done.

heechul gets to escape some of it because he’s beautiful. and people can forgive anything a person does as long as that person is skinny and beautiful.

like this isn’t defending shindong. i don’t like him. but can we please stop using fat as an insult? like there are people out there (like me) who see this stuff and just think about how much hate we’d get simply if we existed in a more visible light

and this doesn’t even mention idols who are considered “bigger” like jeongyeon or jihyo from twice or changbin from stray kids or woobin from cravity who havent done anything terrible like super junior yet still get insulted simply because their faces are wider than the average idol

if you’re going to insult someone, at least be creative about it. i’m sick and tired of everyone’s only insults being “fatty” or “piggy” especially when these people are in better shape than some of these skinny commenters could ever hope to be

i see the same shit with western artists like lizzo and megan thee stallion or really any female artist that that has a hint of a stomach. when that news of lizzo getting sued dropped the only thing people could focus on was this rhetoric of “i knew something was always off about her, her fatness was obviously a sign of her awful personality”

i’m not here to scream body positivity at people but there are ways to better and more creative ways insult people about their actual failings as people (racist, misogynistic, homophobic, whatever else you want to get angry about) and use real reasons to dislike someone to insult them, rather than take the easy and overused route and go for their weight or other physical appearances. fat is a descriptive word, not an insulting one.

“but if calling someone fat isn’t an insult then why are you upset?”

because you’re making it in insult. does saying “that’s fucking gay” to negatively refer to something make it not bad because gay isn’t a bad word?

obviously when you add negative connotations to something even regular words will become insults

none of you are fucking original

fucking grow up

[starjxsung]

hi angel <3 how are you? pls don’t apologize for not answering sooner. i totally get it, even if you never answered me.

buuuuut i’m glad you did tho bc i have so many feelings about skz and the met gala.

but lolla first! i swear im terrified of not getting a good spot too. and ik that friday sold out so its going to be full af. if i find a good spot i shall summon you, though. i read @ a reddit forum that for hobipalooza the best way to get good spots was to befriend the people next to you and ask them to hold it whilst you go to the bathroom/get food.

i’m soooo glad you’ve watched when marnie was there!!! it’s too good to not be talked about at all!!! plsss lmk when you watch the boy & the heron.

i love love love your matching pc holder and care bear plushies😭 that is so cute and cunty. keep cunting up your purse forever. (also, your sis’s minho pc👀 i need it)

and the met gala! honestly they looked fantastic because they’re them and they’re gorgeous even in trash bags. lee know, love of my life, i cannot continue gatekeeping you </3 the looks were okay but underwhelming. i absolutely love fashion and met gala (even if i have my beef with it) really shows some designer’s creative sides. tommy hilfiger really failed the theme imo (as well as many other designers). i think felix was most on theme. he looked like a fairy. my most toxic trait is thinking i could’ve designed better outfits for them😪

and the paparazzi😡😡😡😡 i swear im so pissed at that. those comments were so out of line. i feel so bad for all of them, but especially chan & felix, as native english speakers who register the negative connotations faster. i’m so sad that we can’t have nice things here :(( it really sucks bc i want them to actually like coming to the us </3

but other than that, im so proud of them for literally making history at the met gala. i hope that if they go next year their outfits will be better and the atmosphere too.

i just saw a bit of hyune’s ig live and like i adore seeing people painting. we love art here but also like, ✨hands✨ he should choke me 🫶🏻

ily bb i hope you have a gr8 rest of the week✨

-🐈‍⬛

Hi angel!!!!!!!

Not us both reading up about hobipalooza on Reddit to prep for skzlolla LMAOOOO I am on Reddit like it’s a full time job I swear I’m simultaneously so excited but SOOO NERVOUSSSSS 😭 I’m just hoping I get to see them even the tiniest amount from whatever spot I get but I’m also way too scared of crowd crushing to camp out or anything !

Agreeeeed about their outfits! Apparently Tommy Hilfiger was the most talked about designer of the night (thanks to skz of course) so it’s unfortunate the outfits were a little underwhelming but they still looked fucking fantastic. I will NEVERRRR GET OVER FELIX….. he straight up looks like Legolas was pulled from lotr and put on the red carpet. The little braids in his hair too !!!!! I’m so glad they’re doing interesting things with his hair while it’s this long. Overall not my favorite red carpet looks of theirs but I am beyondddd proud of them 🫶

The whole paparazzi thing really ruined the whole fucking thing for me. The worst part is that skz are all over mainstream media right now and for something so negative! And the comments on all these news articles right now either saying they deserves it or comparing them to bts…… 😕 I honestly just want met week to stop being talked about because I am in emotional turmoil every time I see the video of the paps

I caught the tail end of Hyunjin’s live bc I was on a run and I needed to listen to music but GOSHHHH he is such a cutie and his art is phenomenal 😭 I love him sm (also Hyunjin’s hands are so fucking FIIIIINE why do I feel like he’s into getting choked in bed too)

Also cuntified my purse today w my favorite Jisung pc everrrrrrrr 👼💗💖💓💕💘✨ I love you bby I hope you have an amazing week !!!!

[haleigh-sloth]

Genuinely wonder why do you guys have so much animosity towards spinner? Maybe it just falsely seemed like it but he is one of the few people who genuinely care about tomura so it is weird seeing his stans have such weird anger towards him?

Describe your definition of animosity and anger to me because I can’t recall acting that way toward the character himself

If there is animosity present it’s not toward the character but toward widely popular takes about him that drive me nuts.

Yeah he genuinely cares about him, but he also placed him on a pedestal to the point that he gave up his body and is currently losing his mind in the process “for Tomura’s sake”. We all say it’s Tomura’s trauma that led to him making such a disastrous choice for himself giving up HIS body to pursue more destruction, but for Spinner it’s “omg he’s such a good friend 🥺”. Why erase all the negative connotations with Spinner’s decisions in favor of making it seem like such a pure and selfless act out of a completely normal, not unbalanced, not distorted idea of friendship on Spinner’s part at all? Especially when we saw how it royally fucked him over later? All of the screaming red flags about his decisions get erased in favor of making it seem like just a normal guy doing something for a friend. I don’t engage in the “cute gamer best friends” dynamic talk because for the longest time, up until these last few chapters everyone just ignored the red flags associated with Spinner’s choices, like holding onto the hand and using it to try to help Shigaraki, deciding to follow a guy just as he spirals into a deep hole of self hatred and misery (totally not ominous timing for that to happen at all!), ignoring his gut feeling and gives up his autonomy and unintentionally enables AFO’s control over Tomura even more, using the same words as AFO and Ujiko “for Tomura’s sake” when talking about acting in his best interest. I pointed all the red flags out, I always mention all of this is unintentional on his part and a result of his own trauma and past, most of these red flags were held up in these last few chapters, and that means I’m angry toward him?

There are a number of other annoying takes/characterizations of him that spread like wildfire that annoy me too. This is just part of it.

Just because I don’t absolutely love him doesn’t mean I am angry toward him. Just because I don’t engage with the popular ship he’s associated with that his character seems to be completely reduced down to with nothing more by his fans, resulting in a lot of the takes I DO hate and have expressed animosity toward, doesn’t mean I’m angry toward him. Same goes for everyone else who likes Shigaraki too? Idk who else you’re thinking of, but anyone I talk to doesn’t dislike Spinner—but has an issue with some of the ridiculous takes about him that float around here. Nobody that I know of hates the guy.

[arthursknight]

having a lot of thoughts recently about post-canon merlin's relationship with music

bc like. he would have lived through the evolution of a lot of mediums-- written word, theatre (please dear gods do not GET me started on this one it's for your own good), visual art-- but, arguably, the one that has some of the most dynamic change has been music. (i say this very carefully, knowing i am opening myself up to the fact that, in a lot of ways, i am Wrong)

this is to say, because my brain is rotten--

i imagine merlin being delighted about the way music changes throughout the ages. i don't know much in the way of medieval music past its religious connotations, but i like imagining the centuries of folk music merlin must have been exposed to. the way music was used for storytelling, for communication. musical instruments changing and evolving and choral arrangements changing and evolving and thematic structure changing and evolving. all Very Interesting

here's where the rot comes in

i imagine there's a point in which merlin starts thinking i wish arthur could hear this. and for, you know, the absolute vast majority of his time on earth, merlin wouldn't have the ability to preserve the music he's hearing for arthur to hear it. so maybe he teaches himself how to play, so he can memorize these pieces that arthur will love. and he just has tomes of sheet music that he composes over the years, especially the early years when a lot of it wasn't really written down. (this is where my musical history knowledge suffers. please flay me if I am wrong.)

and he sees all these musicians that he's like. arthur would love this. and he has these wild stories of like, seeing mozart as a child, that he saves up for one day

and then i think of how fucking excited merlin would be when we finally got the ability to record music. at the very least with most other forms of art, there's always been a way to preserve it-- written word has the privilege of being written, visual art has a canvas. but music recording is a VERY young invention (save for the music box, but even then, that isn't a recording moreso than a reproduction), and suddenly merlin has the ability to catalogue all the things he wants arthur to hear

and so i imagine years of vinyl and 8-tracks and phonographs and, as the technology evolves, merlin has to adjust and save and like.

as music becomes more dependent on lyrics, merlin starts finding things that remind him of arthur and just. starts crafting playlists. starts thinking of how to introduce him to how music changes. starts crafting his own history that he can one day show arthur. starts imagining how arthur would react to bluegrass, gospel, blues, rock n roll, punk. (if he purposefully saves a signed edition of never mind the bollocks just to see arthur's face when he hears "god save the queen" for the first time, that's his prerogative.)

just. years and years of saved up songs, all because merlin would be in a concert hall or a church or a community gathering or playing alone in his room and would hear a chord that said arthur. and he would think, "even if he doesn't speak my language when he returns, he will know this."

and, you know, if-- when-- arthur comes back, if arthur finds that the majority of those songs are love songs, well.

he doesn't need to be any the wiser.

[ingravinoveritas]

You know what's one little press tour moment we never talk about even though it's Michael being SUPER loud about his obsession with David's body again? The Most Likely game Michael and David played with Neil and John for Prime. We're 43 seconds into the video and Michael says "David keeps his cards very close... to his sylphe like chest". Why not just say chest. What the fuck haha. I also love how everyone just decides to politely ignore that comment, because it's so weird to go there, like, all right Michael, calm down. It's so extra and it's such a Michael thing to say and it comes out with so much conviction and I think it's hilarious. Especially with the man he's aggressively comparing to some sort of fairy sitting right next to him. (Sylph: "A slender graceful girl or young woman"/"an elemental spirit of the air". Okay then lmao, I mean, you can't exactly say that it doesn't somehow fit, but it's so oddly specific --)

Anon, I almost choked when I read this message, because I damn near completely forgot Michael said that (and thank you for including a link and timestamp!). Here’s a gif of the moment, which is just truly jaw-dropping (but I encourage everyone to watch the video as well for the full effect):

Everything you said is so accurate, too, because it’s not just what Michael says here, but the way he said it. He practically hisses/growls out the word “sylph,” with a mix of that carnal aggression you mentioned and a sort of...(barely) concealed possessiveness. And it is, indeed, an incredibly specific descriptor, with connotations about David’s physique that seem far more intimate than what people who are “just friends” would know about each other.

It’s also that "sylph” not only fits, but speaks to Michael thinking about David’s body and studying it long enough to have arrived at that description. And we know that he has, because one year later, Michael referred to David’s hips as being “slinky”:

So there is most definitely an established pattern of Michael being loud about his obsession with David’s body (as you so perfectly put it, Anon). There is also something inherently erotic about discussing someone’s hips, and using the word “sylph”, especially for a man (in my opinion). These particular observations demand a purposeful gaze--that is, something more than just what you would see when someone is wearing clothes.

Does this mean Michael has seen David’s naked chest, his bare hips? I would venture a guess that the answer is yes...and not just in passing, or while getting into costume during filming. It’s the sensuality of the way Michael talks, as if he has personally explored every inch of David’s sylph-like chest and slinky hips with his hands, his lips...his everything.

(Also, the question that preceded all of this was “Who is better at keeping secrets under wraps?” and David votes for himself and says “I’ve been doing secrets for a number of years now” and then comes the freaking hilarious irony of Michael saying what he did. Thank god ONE of them is good at keeping secrets...)

But yes, I love Neil and Jon just tastefully ignoring the comment and continuing on with the interview. Even though David doesn’t let his reaction show on his face, I love that he and Michael are sitting hip-to-hip (in contrast to the clearly visible space between David and Jon Hamm), and I think that says more than any words ever could.

Thank you again for bringing this up, Anon. I’m so glad we got to revisit this delightful moment. Hopefully there will be lots more to come on the GO 2 press tour. If Michael has his way, I think we will...  

[audreydoeskaren]

do you know Chinese symbolism for homosexuality?

tw homophobia, pedophilia

Hi again, for gay men there are a couple really well known ones but I’m not sure if they were real or fabricated, because all the articles describing them always cite the same couple sources from Antiquity... I tried to verify them but the only articles that didn’t copy and paste from the same source came across as extremely homophobic, so I decided to give up. The most common and reliable one is probably 断袖 or “cut sleeve”, which I mentioned in a previous ask. I would like to use this opportunity to talk about some tangential but more important topics regarding homosexuality in China though.

As a followup to my previous ask where I said I'd look through some Ming and Qing novels to see how homosexuality was perceived at the time, the conclusion I (unfortunately) came to was that homophobia was very much alive and well in Chinese literature and society. A lot of people like to argue that gay people fared pretty well in China historically by either pointing to emperors who were or were rumored to be gay or time periods where gay sex was prevalent as a form of consumption. This is extremely shallow and also kind of Orientalist in my opinion, these arguments always go for the emperors and do not take nuance into consideration or dive into wider societal discourses on homosexuality in imperial China. If you research homosexuality in Europe by only looking at royalty, you’ll find plenty of homosexual behavior too, does that mean gay people had it very easy in Europe historically?? Not to mention that they usually don’t differentiate between dynasties, let alone centuries or decades, even though public opinion on homosexuality in China (or anywhere in the world tbh) could change very quickly. This is also sort of Orientalist, assuming “imperial China” to be a never changing entity with a never changing stance on homosexuality. Since I know nothing prior to the Ming Dynasty I’ll share some of my random findings on homosexuality and homophobia in the Ming, Qing and 20th century.

Gayness as disease

Nowadays the symbol of the cut sleeve is just a benign historical allusion but historically it seems that it was used in a negative and condemning sense, implying that people thought of homosexuality as a disease or deviation from the norm. The common phrase used for the cut sleeve is "断袖之癖", usually translated as "the passion of the cut sleeve" nowadays, but the meaning of the word 癖 here leans more toward "fetish", "obsession" or "hobby" with pathological connotations. I thought maybe this word had a different, nuanced meaning historically but it seems that it was used to describe what it means :(( The only silver lining is probably that with the progression of language it isn’t offensive anymore.

In a lot of popular novels from the Ming and Qing, homosexuality was depicted as a "perversion" and a decadent lifestyle that plagues morality, and gay characters were often either killed or straightened out by the end of the story. An example of this is the story 黄九郎 Huang Jiulang from the series 聊斋志异 Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio by 蒲松龄 Pu Songling written in the 17th century. In this story, one of the protagonists was gay; he died after confessing his love to the other guy in a very fast paced bury your gays arc which somehow reminded me of the Supernatural finale, and reincarnated as a straight man because of his piety. Thanks I hate it. Pu uses the symbol of the cut sleeve to refer to the protagonist, presumably in a negative manner.

Gayness as power/status symbol

Another thing was that historically in China a lot of people confused homosexuality with pedophilia. This is a global thing, but its presence in China is often overlooked. This could be seen in the popularity of another term for homosexuality, "娈童", meaning something similar to "pederasty". I read somewhere that since the late Ming, pederasty was considered a type of tasteful consumption for high society, along with things like fashion, food, music and art. This was not equivalent to the "cut sleeve" or homosexuality as we know it nowadays, which refers to a personal sexual orientation, pederasty historically often refers to an imbalanced power dynamic where a wealthy, privileged man takes advantage of a young boy as a leisurely activity. It’s more to show off that someone in a position of privilege and wealth has the power to procure sexual objects, gender and age don’t matter much in this regard. I cannot help but cringe violently whenever someone brings up pederasty as proof of China’s historical “openness” toward gay people. Talk to me again when in this time and place you could marry someone of your sex (not a minor) and be considered a respectable couple instead of two jerks with a degenerate fetish (not saying that gay people have to marry, it’s just that the ability to do so is an important indicator of equality imo). Pedophilia and homosexuality are not one and the same good heavens.

I hypothesize that the reason why Chinese society was historically homophobic despite having no religious condemnation of homosexual individuals was the idea that having many concubines and male children was a status symbol for men. Women of marriageable age were seen more or less as commodities and male children could supposedly "continue the bloodline" 传香火 and were vessels for passing down prestige, so having them were of utmost importance to a privileged man. Being just gay or lesbian, however, meant that you didn't perform the "man strong working woman weak making babies" heteronormative family prototype, and was thus prone to criticism. When gay men didn’t have children they “couldn’t continue their bloodline” and were emasculated, when gay women didn’t have children they failed to “fulfill their duties as a woman” and were shamed.

It kind of makes sense considering how being bisexual was never a problem in comparison, especially for men. If you were a rich guy who had both male and female partners, you would still have children and concubines both male and female so nobody gives a shit. Emperor Zhengde of the Ming (reign 1505-21) was presumably bisexual and had both male and female lovers, nobody had a bone to pick with that; he famously liked to fuck around but those who criticized him did so for his debauchery instead of focusing on the gender of his partners.  This is different to homophobia in Europe where same sex attraction was considered evil and immoral in and of itself because of religious reasons, in China it was rather the other practical implications of homosexuality (not having children or a family) that attracted hate.

By the way can we just take a moment to talk about bi erasure in Chinese history. From all accounts of Emperor Zhengde I’ve read he comes across as extremely bisexual, but a lot of people try to make him a gay icon? I mean, he liked women too.

One interesting homophobic angle in ye olde China which I find kind of funny was straight women who wanted to climb the social ladder by marrying rich men talking shit about them after figuring out they were gay lmao. Historically, there were not so many work opportunities for women, so the easiest way to improve social standing was to marry a rich and powerful guy. Not saying that women didn't work, they did but their upward social mobility was restricted because they couldn't enter the imperial examination system which was how men became rich and powerful. This angle is relatively benign and kind of helps illustrate that historical Chinese homophobia was indeed fueled by classism and patriarchy.

Gayness as crime

I used to think that there were no anti-sodomy statutes in China (laws prohibiting sex between gay men), but it turns out that there was one decree in the Jiajing era (1521-67) and one in 1740, and private gay sex was not actually decriminalized until 1957. Same sex marriage is still not legal in China at time of writing. I couldn’t find detailed information on what these laws entailed or how they were enforced, but they’re enough to prove that homosexuality in China was legally punishable from the 16th century onward. On top of that, even when there was no law prohibiting private sex acts between people of the same sex, displays of gay affection such as kissing or holding hands could still be legally punished under “public indecency” or “hooliganism”, which was frequently what happened in the 20th century. 

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Cult Girl (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 7

Sorry this took so long y'all. This chapter was difficult to write. Hannibal invites Theresa for dinner and y/n finally confronts her.

Trigger warning: mentions of suicide, child sex abuse; graphic descriptions of violence; confronting an abuser; body-shaming

The stitches in your cut hadn't even dissolved before Theresa intruded on your life again. Before you stormed out, Hannibal did in fact invite her to dinner. Polite society would rule the invitation null and void after that confrontation, but Theresa felt herself exempt from the laws of politeness. Like Evangelicals or craisins, Theresa loved to insert herself where she was clearly not wanted.

Of course, you were peeved at Hannibal for upholding the invitation when she called. But you could tell he had something planned. He was intrigued by her audacity and wanted to see how far it would take her. You couldn't begrudge him professional curiosity, as you too wondered what the fuck her problem was.

In truth, you saw what he did to your grandma, and you wanted to see him do it to Theresa. You wanted her subject to the same psychological torment that she put you through. And that, you realized, was why he honored that invitation. He wanted to vindicate you. And that was the sexiest damn thing you could possibly imagine.

Theresa showed up alone. That was her first mistake.

"Thank you for having me, Dr. Lecter." Theresa greeted, shedding her long coat and dropping it to the ground. "Will [F/N] be joining us?"

"[F/N] will most certainly be joining us." Hannibal said, his voice hardening. He noticed her coat in a pile on the floor and something in his head clicked.

"I hope I'm not overdressed." Theresa tossed her hair over her shoulders. 

She was. And you knew even before she showed up that she'd wear that green evening dress with the plunging neckline. It was the same one she wore to prom. She kept it as a memento all these years to memorialize the day she completely fucked you over. 

She was here to make history repeat itself. 

"Not all, Ms. [L/N]," Hannibal grinned, glancing at the staircase. "[F/N] is just touching up her makeup.”

“That sounds like [F/N].” Theresa laughed. “She always took the most time getting ready in the morning. And she was always the ugliest. It was quite sad, really.”  

Hannibal reminded himself what he had in store for Theresa before letting himself get angry. “If you could join me in the kitchen, I could use a little help with the appetizers.” 

Theresa took the bait and followed him through the threshold into the massive kitchen. 

“Could I trouble you for some psychological advice, Doctor Lecter?” She said, leaning against the island.

“That depends.” He answered, though the tone of his voice connoted a firm ‘no’. “Are you going to be honest with me?” 

Theresa mounted herself on top of the island and crossed her legs. “I’ve just been having quite a bit of trouble in my marriage.”

"Please get off my counter." Hannibal politely demanded. "I just sterilized it this morning."

“My husband just isn’t so excited by me anymore.” She pouted like a child. “He just doesn’t seem interested in... well, any of the things I have to offer him.” 

“Have you considered the possibility that you have nothing to offer?” You said. You approached them with purpose, the skirt of your purple dress fluttering behind you. Your favorite pair of strappy heels clacked against the tile and echoed through the room with every step. 

“[F/N] makes a valid point.” Hannibal agreed, taking you under his arm. “You’re an abusive narcissist, a serial adulterer, and you’re quite horrible at flirting. I certainly don’t understand what you could possibly have to offer.” 

“Nice to see you again, [F/N].” Theresa said, resigned to her defeat. “I didn’t want to say anything at the wedding, but you look like you’ve gained a few pounds.” 

You almost laughed. Growing up, Grandma had subjected you to every form of body-shaming known to man. Nothing Theresa could say would have any effect on you. 

“Really? Because I’ve never felt better in my life.” You smiled, knowing it to be true. “Hannibal is an amazing cook. You’d probably gain weight too if you were eating so well.” 

"Well, I have appearances to keep up." She refuted. "Gideon and I both have very busy schedules. Besides, he finds the kitchen more of a woman's domain."

"Unfortunate for you." Hannibal threw a dish towel over his shoulder and picked up a wine bottle by the neck. He kept his hands busy by pouring three glasses of wine. "That Gideon does not put in the time to keep you well-fed and fulfilled. Might I suggest not molesting children as a remedy?"

You snickered as he handed you a glass. You migrated to the dining table, where the trial was set to take place.

"Did you invite me here just to gang up on me?" Theresa leaned back in her chair. "Because if so, that's really mature."

"Of course not." You said, Hannibal pulling your chair out for you. You placed your napkin in your lap. "Well, maybe a little."

Theresa took a long sip of wine. "You're not going to get an apology if that's what you're after."

"Oh no." You shook your head. "I've stopped expecting basic human decency from you years ago."

"Good." Theresa huffed. "Since that's clearly what you want me to be, that's what I'll be."

"Don't give me that shit." You sighed. "I know what gaslighting is and you're not as good at it as you think."

"Y'know I never asked to be a parent figure to you and Anna." She crossed her arms.

"You may not have asked for it but you sure as hell enjoyed it." You countered, furrowing your brow. "Don't act like you weren't the dictator's right-hand man. You sucked up to grandma and always got preferential treatment."

"I was a kid." She shrugged. "You're really gonna blame me for the shit I did before my skull fully hardened?"

"Well, it exposes a way larger pattern of behavior." You explained. "You're a megalomaniac that wants power without responsibility. So you attach yourself to someone with power, probably another narcissist who's too self-involved to see what a leech you really are. It's what you did with grandma and it's what you're doing with Gideon."

Dressing Theresa down like that gave you a rush. It made you feel alive. But more importantly, it made her look small. It stripped her of her power.

"Well done, Sherlock." Theresa taunted. "But you're forgetting one thing. If I were a megalomaniac, why would I waste my time beating up on you? Some nobody with no power to speak of?"

"Because I'm a living reminder of your past." You narrowed your eyes. "I remind you that you can't just beat everyone into submission."

"Ladies," Hannibal interrupted, holding three bowls. He placed one in front of you, the savory broth enticing your nose. "This is pot-au-feu. It is a simple French stew made from beef, vegetables and potatoes. I added a marrow-bone for extra richness. It's the perfect combination of simplicity and substance."

You couldn't even wait for Hannibal to sit down. You'd been so hungry all day. Smelling the meat slowly braise over the course of the day was torturous. You went straight for the marrow, which was a recent favorite of yours.

Theresa picked the bone up between two fingers and dropped it onto the table, her face wrapped with disgust. "I think I'll pass. I'm not a dog."

"You are not." Hannibal said, spearing a piece of meat on his fork. "I find dogs much better company."

Theresa tented her fingers and glared at Hannibal. "So you're just going to let her rip into me? Aren't you supposed to be the professional here?"

"Don't discount [F/N]'s analysis just because she is a student." Hannibal glared back at her. "From what I know about you, she's dead on."

"Isn't this entire interaction a professional conflict of interest?" Theresa folded her arms. "I don't trust her to analyze me because she hates me."

Hannibal put his utensils down. Anger flashed across his face. "I don't think you quite understand what this interaction is. You are not owed an unbiased psychological profile, especially not from me. You are not my patient. You are [F/N]'s abuser."

Theresa narrowed her eyes and leaned over the table. "So if you understand that, why am I here?"

"You think very highly of your intelligence, Theresa." Hannibal glanced down at his dish. "Perhaps you can figure that one out yourself."

You coughed, narrowly avoiding choking on your food.

"Darling, please pace yourself." Hannibal instructed, though he seemed pleased with how enthusiastically you inhaled your meal. "You're going to make yourself sick if you eat too fast."

"I'm sorry." You said after taking a long sip of water. "I don't know why, I'm just so hungry today."

Hannibal dropped his eyebrows, looking worried. "Did you take your medicine this morning?"

"I think so." You nodded.

Theresa smiled and reached for her phone. The movement caught Hannibal's attention, and he could tell what she was up to right away.

"Theresa, it's very rude to text at the dinner table." He scolded, taking a sip of wine. "Surely, anything you're saying to your grandmother and Anna, you can say to us."

Theresa, too proud to back down, slipped her phone into her purse and met your eyes. "You're pregnant."

"Brilliant fucking deductive reasoning." You rolled your eyes. "A woman gains a little weight and has a healthy appetite? That's the only logical conclusion I would draw."

"Well, aren’t we defensive?" Theresa taunted. "Congratulations, by the way."

"Theresa, stop it." You gritted your teeth, trying not to convey how pissed you were.

"You're going to need to drop out of school to take care of the baby full time." Theresa sneered.

You knew exactly where she was taking this and you wanted more than anything to just disappear. You reached for the wine bottle and refilled your glass. "Shut up, Theresa. Shut the fuck up before you say something you'll regret."

Her face lit up from the satisfaction of finally making you angry. "And someday you'll blow your brains out just like your mother!"

This time, she would regret it. You chucked the empty wine bottle across the table. It hit her directly in the face with a deafening crunch before ricocheting off the table and shattering on the ground.

Theresa brought her finger to her nose, noticing the stream of blood trickling from her nostril. She stood up, stabilizing herself with the back of the chair.

"I didn't think you had it in you." She jabbed before collapsing to the ground.

You went silent, too afraid to look at Hannibal.

"For what it's worth, darling." Hannibal piped up. "I always knew that you did."

[homieswithhades]

why steve rogers returning to the past was wrong

disclaimer: im clearly a stucky enthusiast, but please, do not be thrown off by that. i admit, there may be undertones of bias because of that in the following, but i did my best with trying to lay out the facts and draw logical conclusions, so do please give me a chance. also, i may have accidentaly omitted some moments and some quotes may not be 100% word for word, as my memory lowkey sucks. ALSO this is NOT a peggy hate post!! i think shes a dope and underrated character and quite frankly she was done dirty. but i also definitely h8 the trope of badass woman falls for the hero.

first and foremost, every sane person knows endgame was complete and utter bullshit when dealing with steves character, so this post will be more for you to maybe show (and hopefully convince) some stubborn friend or family member. nice, concise (not) and including proof from the movies (+a few tweets and stucky undertones, if u dont fw that i respect it but bucky is an integral part to steves character regardless of how u interpret their relationship) here is why steves character development was thrown away at the end of endgame.

let us begin at looking at the cap trilogy.

in ca:tfa it should be noted that steve had no one to return to in the 40s, except bucky. i believe steves relationship with peggy was no where near as developed as it should have been to elicit him returning exclusively for her. as we are aware, steves driving force has absolutely always been bucky. bucky was there for steve after his parents died, when he was sick, and always protected him from whatever trouble he got himself into. "until the end of the line" right? steves relationship with peggy was forced and short lived, literally, we're talking a matter of months here. i need to keep emphasising the important disparity between bucky and peggy, as it is absolutely key in this whole argument. steve dropped everything and went against every order just to even attempt to save bucky. even the slightest chance of him surviving being captured was enough for steve to break into a hydra camp and free the 107th division. steve even had the chance to capture zola, one of the main villains and masterminds of the war, but again, steve prioritised bucky. when theyre trying to escape the exploding hydra camp, the exchange between steve and bucky is critical. steve says "go! get out of here!" as all he wanted was bucky escaping safely. he put bucky's life over his own (this wasnt the first time he did this, nor the last) but bucky rooted himself to the spot, and yelled back "no, not without you!". they both escaped safely as we know, and then steve gathers the howling commandos to take down the red skull. bucky then falls off the train, nd steve blames himself for his death, even visibly crying over it twice. steves morals went from "i dont wanna kill anyone. i dont like bullies, i dont care where theyre from" before buckys death, to "i wont stop until all of hydra are dead or captured" after. stuff happens and steve defeats the red skull and is now in control of the flying ship with the bombs. he connects the comms with peggy and she tries to convince him theres another way to disarm the ship. steve was so dedicated at that point he didnt even want to hear it. he didnt even attempt to do anything to ensure his survival. this alone proves, peggy was not important enough to him to return to.

next is ca:tws. The stevebucky movie. in the museum, peggy confirms that steve saved the man from the 107th division who eventually became her husband (steve was never in the 107th, just to clarify) i believe her husbands name was daniel sousa (as revealed in the marvels agents of shield show) steve then finds out peggy is alive and talks to her. she, in short, tells him she's lived her life, and it was his turn to live his in the time hes in. the "my best girl" line was unnecessary and out of place; again, steve barely knew her. again, shit goes down, and steve finds out the winter soldier is bucky and immediately drops everything, and becomes dead set on saving him. not killing, not imprisoning, but saving him. no matter the cost. "he saw me, and he didnt even know me" "hes not the kind you save, hes the kind you stop. he won't recognise you" "he will." god, steve KNEW bucky would recognise him. regardless of the brainwashing, steve managed to break through the barrier hydra fought so hard to drill into buckys mind. nothing ever broke him out of that state exept for steve. "im not gonna fight you, youre my friend." "youre my mission" "then finish it. cos im with you till the end of the line." [[good fucking lord let me break out of my essay-esque semi professional format here and just say how fucking heartbreaking those lines are. oh my god. read them, over and over until it hits you.]] steve shows us again, that he is willing to not only die for bucky, but literally die by his hand. he would let bucky kill him. he'd dropped his shield. he didnt fight back. steve always, always, ALWAYS got up and fought back. always. exept that time. the time bucky could have killed him. that scene is the essence of "im with you till the end of the line" because then, it was true. it was true because steve was okay with dying at buckys mercy. theres a difference between sacrificing yourself for the greater good (steve going into the ice), willing to die for someone (steve risking his life multiple times in attempts to save bucky) and finally, being willing to let someone kill you, because you love and trust them so much (hellicarier scene). the difference between peggy and bucky's relationship to steve is that steve may be willing to die for either, but only willing to be killed by one. not to mention, bucky pulled steve from the river. he recognised him. steve broke through 70 years of brainwashing with such impact it literally drove bucky away from hydra out of his own free will.

in between ca:tws and ca:cw its confirmed (im p sure sam says it) that him and steve looked for bucky for two. years. even off screen, bucky was steves priority.

im going to squeeze in 2 points from from age of ultron here, for chronology's sake:

steves worst nightmare, as portayed in the movie, is LITERALLY going back to the 40s and being stuck there (with peggy too??lmfao) and also the quote "family, stability, the man who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. i think another one came out." objectively confirms that steve isn't the man he used to be, and doesnt want to return to the past. aou may have sucked, but that doesn't mean the character development should be thrown away.

ca:cw. hoo boy. steve went against 117 countries and half of his closest friends and colleagues because he believed bucky was innocent of the bombing of the un conference. god, steve quite literally, did everything to defend and protect bucky. though i shall acknowledge that steve did attend peggy's funeral, however, there was no real connotations there other than the fact he was mourning her death (understabdibly so). steve then proceeds to protect bucky for 2 hours 27 mins and 41 seconds to the point where they escape together to siberia after the airport fight. "i dont know if im worth all this steve" "what you did all those years... it wasnt you. you didnt have a choice." "i know. but i did it" again, absolutely heartbreaking quotes if you read it a couple of times and truly understand the meaning of them. steve somewhat indirectly tells bucky yes, yes he is worth all of this. otherwise, he wouldn't be doing it. a quote to support that would be "for the longest time, i always did what i thought was right." (disclaimer this is not a direct quote i deadass couldnt find it to save my life, i belive steve said it at some point during civil war or tws, but the point is, bucky is the only thing that could have shaken steves morals so intensely.) and finally, the most important part of cw, the fight at the end with tony. bucky and steve constantly protected each other. steve kept fighting because he was fighting for bucky. to keep him safe from tony and the world. he got up, time and time again. "i can do this all day." the fact that he said that to tony, some people consider them the closest of friends, proves again, a million times over, bucky is more important to steve than literally anything else, INCLUDING his shield. his mantle. he dropped it and left it like it was nothing, because his priority was bucky. as always.

theres not much to discuss for infinity war other than their hug whicg was honestly just adorable.

mmmmm endgame. i will not go into how much i hate that movie because it would be a rant quintuple the length of this one. in the support group, steve dead ass fucking says "you gotta move on. you gotta move on" and that sentiment was literally forgotten at the end. my main point for endgame is this. people tend to tell me, the reason steve abandoned bucky and went back to be with peggy is because he knew that he was finally safe. :/. if you had half a braincell youd know that's not true. the steve we know, never would have left bucky for good, ESPECIALLY after the "dont do anything stupid until i get back" exchange [[god i want to beat the shit out of the r*ssos]] mostly because, bucky had fucking no one in the time he was living in!!! no family, no friends and most heartbreakingly, no one he could trust. (yes sam was there but were just seeing their friendship develop now in tfatws, all that wasnt there in endgame) and secondly, what made steve think bucky was entirely safe??? half of the worlds population just suddenly reappeared, which as we see now, there were massive consequences for that. i simply believe steve is not that stupid. steve going back was disrespectful not only to his character, but to bucky AND peggy. most importantly, the steve we've been watching since 2011 would NEVER abandon bucky, no matter how safe he thought he was (he visited him frequently in wakanda, the safest place on the planet arguably ffs) especially for such a dumbass and quite frankly, nonsensical reason as going back to be with peggy, who clearly stated to him she moved on, and so should he (which he did. idk endgame writers prolly didnt watch the previous movies :/) its not even debatable. bucky is more important to steve than peggy. even in terms of screentime.

now allow some tweets to speak for me, this one being the absolute most important one:

ladies and gentlefolk, all of the stuff ive said can be summarised in that last line. "it would be contrary to who he is."

heres some more:

and now finally, id like to briefly mention steve and tfatws, so beware of spoilers (writing this as of ep 4 coming out; praying it doesn't age badly)

bucky mentions steve, unprompted, fucking constantly. he clearly isnt over steve leaving, and im hoping that gets acknowledged and talked out in the show.

in conclusion, tl:dr, steve shouldn't have returned to the past and stayed there, it is contrary to who he is, as shown to us through his trilogy and other appearances in the mcu. not to mention the timeline bullshit in endgame makes zero sense in the first place.

[skepticbeliever-bookclub]

Hello everyone! 

We’re back again with our read of the week! 

This week, we asked the book club to pick us a fic that makes them laugh, and well, we got a fic full of laughs, heart and that juicy touch of obliviousness that happens when you are just not quite in on the story happening just off-screen.

Big Apple Steve and That Time He Obliviously Third-Wheeled His Friends All Summer by beethechange is an insightful portrayal of Shane and Ryan and all their weirdness via our most beloved Steven Lim. It is at turns absolutely fucking hilarious, and at other turns, refusing to pull it’s punches about the potential fallout for the situation. 

Rating: Teen

Summary: 

Steven Lim is not a stupid man. Steven Lim is a capable man, an ex-scientist, creator and producer of Buzzfeed’s most popular video series. He helped invent Tide Pods, for Pete’s sake. Tide Pods.

So he knows he’s no idiot. He’s naïve, perhaps. He has blind spots, like anyone, particularly when it comes to relationships, especially when it comes to sex.

Still, when he walks in on Ryan sitting astride Shane’s lap on the sofa, tongue fully in the guy’s mouth, hand fully down his pants, Steven reckons he should probably have seen this one coming.

Book Club Thoughts

I love hijinks and I love third party perspective fic

what I like most also about that pov is that when we write or read fic, we tend to do it in third person limited so we never quite get the full view of what them together looks like. An outsider POV lends a very clear and gorgeous image. 

I like how it's not only an outsider point-of-view, but also an illustration of how, every morning, Steven gets up and actively chooses to give people the best-faith-interpretation that he's capable of

The outside perspective is so lovely because like you get those slice of life moments like when they're having dinner, and it's somehow more intimate than if it had been described from Shane or Ryan's perspectives, because it's like Stevens just walking in on it

I also like the fact that you really captured Steven's flavor of emotional intelligence. He seems like he's good at reading people, but maybe not always relationships and ust.

i love the steady progression of "alright i can see how he'd justify that one" to "how the hell do you misinterpret THAT" because that's gotta be what happens when you're staring at something 0.5 inch away from your face and unfolding in real time

i like that shane and ryan both have their separate moments of realizing they were excluding steven and wanting to make sure he knew they wanted him there

my favourite relationship in this fic is shane and steven getting to be better friends

My favorite Shane and Steven scene in this (or one of them) is when Shane is like "you're not just here as an afterthought, we want you because you bring a different perspective." I think really describes their relationship well.

my favorite part about the fic is that it has the side effect of helping you fall in love with steven lim

The author’s grasp of Steven’s particular character voice is honestly so masterful

One of the details of the fic that I enjoyed very much was actually the portrayal of Steven's relationship w his faith, because it's pretty similar to my own. We have convictions, we know the connotations it brings, we just wanna have friends. 

I love this fic. Very funny miscommunication and hijinks covering all these emotions and deep character stuff.

I want to praise the immaculate narrative flow, use of character voice, and truly excellent pacing

It not only is perfectly written but it's just so fucking fun and silly. It still makes me laugh unbearably hard every time I read it

that's the word i keep coming back to: this fic is SATISFYING

WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US FOR OUR NEXT DISCUSSION? CHECK OUT THE FAQ, AND SEND US AN ASK! IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR FIC RECS, PLEASE CHECK OUT OUR READS, NOMINEES AND BOOK CLUB REC LISTS!

[bfpnola]

hello! i read your recent post about aave (and your previous post you mentioned within it) and i have a question. so i’m white which is most likely why i don’t understand, but wouldn’t non-black people using aave normalize it and (slowly i’m sure) remove the negative connotations attached to its use by black people? obviously we have to address when white and non black people try to claim, i guess the word i would use is, ownership of aave words/language and how no it was NOT created by said white/non-black poc, but wouldn’t widespread use of aave along with acknowledgement of the history and roots of aave be beneficial?

i went to kindergarten through freshman year of high school at majority black public schools and then switched to a majority white private school for 10th-12th grade, and i won’t lie, i used aave (it’s what i was around in school up to that point and i didn’t learn the term aave until i was in college) and i used words to have different meanings compared to my new classmates (one example i remember in particular, i was asked if i “hooked up” with someone and i was like lol what no i didn’t fuck them and my new friend was like !!?? no hook up just means make out!!), and people at my new school even told me i had a “ghetto accent”, but i didn’t hear much difference in the way i spoke compared to people at my new school, so i was like …ghetto..? but i think that’s where my confusion stems, because i was told that way of speaking was “ghetto” and i now know the term and history of aave, i understand the reason why black people wouldn’t want non-black people to use aave, but at the same time, i grew up around that language as a white person but never attached negative meaning to its use bc i heard it all the time, so it makes me wonder why/how widespread use wouldn’t be helpful for removing the negative connotations. sorry for the long ask btw! 😅

hey love! sorry i couldn’t get to this sooner. preface for all of this: i am one person with my own opinion. the Black community is not a monolith so you may want to ask others to get a fuller judgement on the topic.

i totally understand your thought process here, and honestly i never thought about it that way. i needed some time to sit on it, but i think white privilege reveals itself here in this idea of “normalizing” aave. if a marginalized community chooses to gatekeep part of its culture, especially for reasons of protection and maintaining some form of an identity (something many individuals within the African diaspora struggle with outside of the continent of Africa due to a detachment from our original cultures), i think that’s totally valid to do! we should have a right to keep certain practices to ourselves and more than anything, i find it sad that we have to “normalize” our speech and make white people more comfortable just to EXIST in our natural state, you know? like why should i have to condition those in privilege to accept part of my very being? why is it not enough to say, “hey, this is a part of my culture. yes, we may sound differently, but we are still deserving of respect,” right?

and also, i think it’s important to note that SO many parts of the Black experience have been commercialized by white America that we as a community barely have anything left to ourselves. we’ve created amazing music, dances, recipes, and so on, pieces of work to embody the reality we live everyday, and now we have to give that up too? we can’t keep anything to ourselves? America treats the Black experience as a commodity to enjoy, use as wanted, and eventually throw out. and AAVE, just like everything else, is included in that notion.

and i guess lastly, there’s also the reminder of how AAVE was founded. picking up broken pieces of what they could, enslaved Africans had to forge a language/dialect (there’s debate within the linguistic community in its categorization) from near scraps. while on the surface AAVE may just seem like slang or a little twist on grammatical norms every now and then, it’s so much more! it’s a living representation of our resilience as a community! are you, as a white person, truly honoring that struggle by participating in a practice your people forced upon us to begin with? i don’t have a right answer to that question, by the way. just food for thought!

i know that wasn’t a clear answer, because i’m honestly not sure there IS one, but hopefully that gave you a broader perspective if nothing else! overall, though, my personal opinion is leave AAVE to the Black community and the Black community only.

thank you for the question!

— reaux (she/they)

[ecl1pse]

omg speaking of gworls i forgot to share my thoughts on the album here bc i was so excited the whole weekend

anyways! i REALLY liked it. overall, the whole album isn’t as cohesive as savage ngl, but it’s still good. savage was such a tight, top tier album that it would be very hard to top. even in the whole of kpop, savage has to one of the most cohesive album to come, even in all my 10+ years of listening to kpop i don’t think ive come across an album that is so sonically cohesive as savage was so i understand why some mys are a bit let down in that regard. that being said, girls is still very fun!!! & i’m always here for a fun kpop album

however!! the song girls itself has to be aespa’s darkest sound. & yeah, i agree that it sounds like an nct song, but i mean it as compliment!!! because i actually think that despite so many trying to replicate nct’s sound, no one has come this close to actually doing it while still maintaining their own touch. winter & ningning adding those cute & fun adlibs makes it such an aespa song & nice contrast to the loud trumpets in the chorus i love it!! imo girls sounds to me like nice blend between turn back time by wayv & punch by nct 127, while the mv seems heavily informed by kick it (i see a bit of punch in some transitions shots too). but again, it’s still very aespa, especially in the fact that has a clearer storyline. back to the song, the production seems very influenced by turn back time & overall wayv’s use of guitars to build up momento with the added horns from punch to add grandioseness &, well, punch. it makes them sound like characters in a big fight about defeat their big baddie. which apparently they do because i’ve read this is the end of the black mamba storyline. the girls add so much sass to the song— to pretty much any song they touch. sm struck gold when they decided to put all four of them together, they cover every ground just by the four of them, it’s so gorgeous to hear them.

illusion is just. such a fucking good song. the choreo adds so much to the song too. from the strong opening w the alarms blaring in your ear & the slurping, winter’s opening line of “you’re so yummy, yummy, yummy in my tummy, tummy, tummy” 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 that…was crazy. insane. there’s no taking out the sexual connotations out of this whole song no matter how much they tried to make it fit into the aespa storyline. it’s so fun & sexy i love it. i loved that the choreo follows pretty closely to the formula the song follows in that it a slow build up that explodes by the second middle of the second verse than it takes its second wind. i think this might be one of their best b-sides & choreographies. it’s almost as good as i’ll make you cry, which i’m still hoping & begging to see performed live with a cool choreo 😭 i honestly think this album could have been a double feature with illusion being the second title track. this should have been the song to get an english version &/or an mv. sm, hear me out, we can still make this work. hear me out!!!! just make an illusion mv instead of leaving my girls jobless once the promotion period is over, you could even get a second boost in sells w this genius idea!!! (hmu for more input 😘).

lingo is so fun!!! i havent gotten into reading the translations yet but i can almost tell this is aespa saying you can make fun of all the made up words & stories their concept requires you to understand but that doesn’t make them any less cool. i see the country influences everyone has pointed out, it’s probably how the song started, but i insist!! this is not a country song!! this is nortec!!! look it up, look up nortec. i know this, this genre was literally birthed in my home city & the streets grew up in. idk who lixa, the producer, is, but they (accidentally??) made a nortec song. lingo is for las norteñas 🤠

life’s too short is cute but i agree it’s not their strongest song. that much i knew when they previewed at coachella. it’s very much elevated by their gorgeous voices & smart layering. the mv was so cute tho!! very dreamy & cute. i think it’s befitting they sing a song like this considering the amount of hate they have received since debut, much of unwarranted. i just hope the girls themselves actually believe as much because they do deserve to enjoy their hard work. they have achieved so much in such a short career & are such strong performers, enough to rival bigger groups. it’s no wonder they keep going viral, they work hard & are good at demonstrating it on stage.

icu…it’s a song. a song sung by aespa. this has to be their most forgettable song imo, i’m sorry. it’s pretty but…it’s just there. it’s the required sm ballad & they delivered. i don’t have much else to say other than they sound pretty.

i know a lot of fans disliked that this album included their previous singles but i’m actually really glad it did! i’m glad i can now have a physical copy of black mamba & dreams come true to play in my car that i dont drive. but if i ever did, i have it & i can cause a car crash while swinging my head to black mamba. plus, no offense to any icu fans out there, but ending the album in that when we had such a strong start with girls & illusion would have been such a snooze. ending it with dreams come true!!!!! feels more befitting ngl.

anyways, that’s all i have to say for now. but i’m sure i will continue to talk about this album because aespa has been one of the most exciting kpop acts to follow right now & i’m always excited to talk about their music to anyone who is willing to listen!!!