#most of this if from the same teacher
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LISTEN, some MK11 men are kinda fine-
Nah trust me I know, I have a preference for the mk11 kuai liang over the mk1 version
#Hanzo is also great#he’s quite literally the cutest thing ever in mk11#the way he constantly raises his eyebrows in shock while he’s in the background is so cute to me#I WILL SAY THIS THOUGH#mk1 drastically improved Johnny cage#he went from the most boring looking pe teacher to the flashy son of a bitch he is now#and I love it#I don’t like what they did with Kitana though#I mean don’t get me wrong I think the new face model is stunning#but she just doesn’t give off the same commanding and assertive vibes#did Sonya’s face model change? can anyone tell? I’m not sure if it’s a rendering thing or not#but I also prefer her mk11 look#I know liu kang has the same face model but I HEAVILY prefer how he looks in mk11#I’ve drawn that version of liu kang like 10x more than the mk1 version
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whoever popularized the obsession with "growth mindset" in education owes every disabled kid an apology letter
#eliot posts#like of course it is important to build confidence in kids and a belief that they can improve#but the whole like#''you MUST believe that you can do ANYTHING and if you bring up any of your limits you just have a Fixed Mindset and are Wrong''#that's. that breeds so much fucking ableism in teachers#seriously the teachers who cared most abt that mindset shit loooved to pretend my disabilities didn't exist#and shame me when i admitted struggles and acknowledged my limits#it's the same as that ''you're not disabled you're just differently abled :)'' nonsense#i'm fucking disabled! it's not a dirty word! it's not shameful to be unable to do shit or to struggle more to do shit!#ALSO iirc the studies that ''proved'' the effectiveness of mindset interventions in schools were EXTREMELY limited#and didn't stand up well to replication. and overall just suffered from publication bias#*shaking my fist at carol dweck*
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Hello, my name is Itadori Yuuji! I'm a 1st grader from Sunshine class of Jujutsu primary school. My nicknames are Tiger of the West and MC of JJK. Nice to meet you, I hope we can get along!
Today let me introduce my family!
My mom is Kenjaku, I call them mama Ken! they are very smart and does a lot of research about humans.
My dad is Itadori Jin, he's a very sweet, kind dad and he's always smiling. Everyone says I take after my daddy a lot!
My uncle is Sukuna, he's my dad's older twin brother. My uncle is very strong that people call him the King of Curses! But he likes to tease me and calls me BRAT all the time so sometimes I get mad and punch him with black flash. Daddy says that's because Uncle Sukuna thinks I'm very cute so he can never leave me alone.
My grampa is Itadori Wasuke! He's a big tsundere but also a big softie inside. Because my parents are busy, grampa is the one raising me. My grampa is the best grampa in the world and I love him so much!
Choso-nii is my onii-chan! He's my half-big brother from Mama Ken's previous marriage. I only met him recently after mama Ken brought him home but Choso-nii already loves me so much that he's always with me wherever I go. I love Choso-nii too cuz he's very kind and patient and spoils me a lot!
Yeah, he's with me today too. He's that tall guy in the back with twintails, yes! the one who is now crying loudly like a kid. Choso-nii! Why are you crying?? Please stop crying, you're making me embarrassed in front of my new friends!
"Yuujiiiiii!!! Onii-chan loves Yuuji so much too!! 😭"
Stop it! Choso-nii! You're noisy!
Pssst mama Ken is actually Choso-nii's papa! But i dunno how that happened. Daddy said I will understand once I become an adult. Everyone says that Choso-nii takes after Mama Ken but if he hears you say that, he will beat you, so be careful!
My family is very fucked-up strong and powerful! And eventho sometimes we fight, we love each other so much that we still chase look after each other even after being separated for 1000 years and 150 years!
#the teachers brb drag Choso to calm down in a separate room for hysterical parents#jujutsu kaisen#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#choso#chousou#sukuna#kenjaku#itadori jin#itadori wasuke#power family#one big happy family#jjk 257#yuuji might be not from the big 3 clans but it's undeniable that he has the most powerful family in jjk universe lmaooo#I find the concept of Sukuna being Yuuji's uncle very weird but at the same time soo soo funny cz I feel like Yuuji's soul was actually par#Sukuna's himself even without the fingers....hmm we'll see.
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love when this is referred to as the gifted kid website. shockingly my mental disorders made me mentally disordered and school never really vibed with that so. couldn’t be me
#ppl always talking about their whatever grade reading level and how many books they’d read as kids and im just over here like🧍🏽#I’ve never been actually bad at english or reading but I couldn’t focus on reading books to save my fucking life#I hated those sheets where you had to read like a certain number of books or whatever over the course of a semester or the year or whatever#my GATE test scores for english were super high but my math was bad enough that I never qualified#and adhd made me not even perform well in English half the time because I couldn’t pay attention I couldn’t read long books I couldn’t turn#in my assignments or if I did they were late and etc etc etc#don’t get me started with math#I was the worst in my class in third grade at minute math and never made it to the levels of minute math my classmates did#(they posted results on the wall for everyone to see)#and in 6th grade I was put into an additional remedial math class#throughout middle-high school I was at the level of most classmates in terms of the classes I took but that’s only because I was not allowe#to fail and was put through absolute fucking hell with a billion tutors and grueling hours of extra work from them and blah blah blah#like I remember how I felt in those tutoring sessions and half the time I actually wanted to cry.#I didn’t start doing solidly genuinely Good in school until senior year of high school.#not coincidentally around the same time I started taking adderall I think#I had accommodations by 9th grade but they didn’t do that much except for the function that let me turn in assignments up to 2 days late#without penalty. which i had teachers question sometimes and i had to pull the Yeah it’s Literally Against The Law to not allow me this car#anyway. point is. i was never in the gate program and most of my friends were and it was mostly adhd related#adhd is considered such a quirky nothing disorder nowadays that I don’t even like mentioning I have it really. because what people think of#when I say the term is Not what i actually dealt with and made school torturous and made my parents lash out at me for things and etc etc#depression and dysphoria did not help either. but I digress#I’m not sure why im making this post#kibumblabs
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i'm quite late but i still wanted to post this so: here's argentina (angie) and maría remedios del valle (the capitana/mother of the homeland).
i wanted to make these drawings as a sort-of tribute for the 8th of november (aka. the afro-argentines and afro-culture's day, which is in conmemoration to her) because, despite being one of the most forgotten figures in our history, maría remedios was important, more than people realize. and since this is about my hetalia oc (oops-) here's how i vision her influence on argentina, not only as a country but as a woman:
angie saw her as a role figure, almost like a mother in a way, she was the closest thing she would get as a maternal figure. during her independence, angie kept maría remedios close, as they helped eachother and made their way through the war, she tought her how to fight, heal the wounded soldiers and many things.
however, after it was over, they took different paths, angie had other wars to fight and she didn't know anything else about maría remedios until it was too late. it didn't help that all this happened when angie was still very young, as she was growing up, she began to forget. it was only in recent years that maria remedios was beggining to be recognized for who she was, after being forgotten for centuries. argentina forgot about her, just like we argentines did, her people.
i am very aware of what happened to maría remedios and her story, how argentines forgot her and discredited her achievements and efforts (such ignorance being rooted in racism and misoginy). she is just as important as san martín, manuel belgrano and many argentine figures, we must not leave her in oblivion again.
#this is my most serious work so far when it comes to my hetalia oc lol#the reason i did this is because. I've rarely seen an argentina oc drawn with maría remedios :c (aside from martín from lh)#that's why i decided to dig a little deeper and learn about her story. and so i drew her with my argentina (angie) :3#i thought of it as like. Those hetalia fanarts where they draw historical figures with their specific countries#joan of arc with france. Old fritz with prussia. Washington with america. You get it#that's why i wanted to do the same with mine!!! and add a little twist to it#i'm no history teacher. But i hope someone learns something more about argentine history that not so many know. Not even actual argentines#hetalia#hetalia argentina#aph argentina#hws argentina#historical hetalia#maría remedios del valle#hetalia oc#oc x canon#my art#sorry if its a little bittersweet. But that's just how history is :'(#and also im sorry for posting this so late. I've been busy with life in general ;v;
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Nothing I love more than having a little tea w the office ladies
#its called tea bc we have it at 7am#i do mean gossip btw not literal tea#i dont have time for that when i clock in#wouldnt be bad though#tales from diana#brenda says some of the new subs have been stealing the folders. GAGGG#why. there's nothing personalized in there and most of the info isn't even important#sometimes i dont even take them#idk how many they started w this year but last year they started w 7 or 8#and now theyre down to like. 2. and she said she saw someone w 3 yesterday#WHY WOULD YOU KEEP MULTIPLE???? U DONT EVEN NEED THE ONE#all that u need in there is the bell schedule. office extensions (which u only need to memorize admin's nd theyll forward u)#and the password to the chromebooks which is the same on each one#the rest is just filler stuff for like emergency drills#LOLLLL#newbs#me. the best substitute teacher#im allowed to have a big head here ive done this job awhile and im comfy at it#i used to think i was so bad at it. but now i know. im mediocre#which is the best thing a high school sub can be nowadays
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Mentions of alcohol, death, and drugs.
Spike, my Hazbin Hotel sinner OC. I don't know what to make of his demon, but I'll come up with something. I was drawing a smiley face with a bow and a odd nose when I came up with this idea to make it into a character.
He has ears, similar to Husk, with stars on the inside. He has short hair- have not decided any colors yet- and a nose similar to Husk's. His hair looks more like fur. He has an obsession with bows- bows in his hair, neck, with bows on this strap he has across his body, bows on his bracelets.
He was sent to Hell for killing innocent families/people(who may or may not be related to people who did him wrong, so some are innocent and some are not.) that disrespected/insulted him, or bullied him(when he was human and alive). His parents were abusive, into drugs. He later got addicted to drugs and alcohol. He had gotten hit by a vehicle, and was killed. He killed his parents before that. (icebound, that you? Except Spike is still better than that vegetable old ass.)
#Hazbin Hotel#OC#Husk#Killed his parents#Lowkey icebound Vibes(dont tell Helm)#Bow obsession#Appears nice but really is a manipulative bastard#Hope my teachers never see this#They'd kill me#Death(DONT TELL W AND D HELMMM)#Got in trouble by Gov teacher for having phone out#My bad#I was trying to create a RadioApple fanchild#Wanted to Cry last night because the favoritism towards Helm from W is VERY clear#I like D&D#D&D every Friday#But most didnt wear their D&D shirts today so idk anymore. but maybe D and W will. if that counts. because yk. theyre teachers.#3rd hour Home Ec i posted this. ok Helm? Did you like that Dew Pop? answer meh questions or we'll fight:>#the 'appears nice but really is a manipulative bastard' was about Spike#not icebound. but it's basically the same thing.#Press the ALT button on the photo Helm
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i get why people would opt to say walter was a terrible person since the beginning, but i think that's like, the most boring takeaway you can get about his character. he was already insecure and prideful from the start, and it's what would hurt him and keep hurting him. but like, being insecure and prideful are regular traits any regular person can have. the actions that he makes because of these traits, which in turn keep fueling his ego more and more, are what makes him an interesting character. and he was already pretty capable of hurting other people, but he wasn't doing it out of malice, but more because of careless selfishness at first. what makes walter terrifying is that the more he does it, the more he becomes aware of what he's doing, and the more he keeps going and keeps being more and more meticulous and deliberate about what he does that hurts people and even to the point when it was specifically to hurt people.
i think the traits were there in walter from the beginning—the pilot did a pretty good job of establishing how powerless he's felt all his life and just how susceptible he is to letting this newfound perceived power get to his head so easily. he even says this explicitly in 5x06 "Buyout" when he tells jesse "i'm not in the money business, i'm in the empire business". but saying he was this monster from the start kind of implies he didn't undergo through a character arc throughout the show when it's quite literally what he did. he got worse. so much worse. through mostly the fault of his own fragility.
#idk if i put it into words right but i'm just musing#was walter a good person when brba started? up in the air. but his family genuinely adored him. despite feeling like a loser teacher#some of his coworkers actually really liked and respected him. he was just as much of a regular person as anyone else was tbh#you know it's interesting that he and gale basically have the same motivations. why jump to meth of all things. why go from 0 to 100 when#it sounds COMPLETELY ridiculous. but they were both very passionate about chemistry who felt like their potentials were wasted and felt#like they were finally putting their skills to good use again. getting to flex their muscles and shit. whenever they cook better purer meth#than most other people. i think it's a really genius idea to have this premise for the show lol#cz as much as walter is motivated by him feeling like he desperately has to take control of his own life he also is a scientist at heart#who desperately needs to apply his knowledge and skills somewhere where it would feel gratifying#seriously dude you could've tried to get a paper published or two or something. djhdidhd#but the academe has its own Politics and whatnot. so one could only speculate why walt didn't get to pursue that any more#(aside from the whole grey matter industries thing)#anyway uhhh i hope i get the post across lol not to sound cheesy cliche but brba is a corruption slash character deterioration arc#quite literally the whole point is that he Didn't Start Off Like This And He Gets Worse#again. he already had some of his bad tendencies and traits but it's like. we all do that's not necessarily inherently make or break#it's what he DOES and KEEPS DOING. CONSCIOUSLY that turns him into the horrifying man he is by the end of it all#so i just think if your biggest takeaway is Walter Was Always A Monster then you're just missing the whole damn point#op#brbaposting
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Damnit lev lmfao. I was thinking about Shiva wearing corpse ash being resonant for other reasons, something about his relationship with the Bright Skinned Ones and death and whatever. No, no. More fucking importantly: Oh I wonder why Shiva is known for. you know. wearing bodies. his appearance is a mass of bodies joined together. yeah
#Leviathan is a mass of bodies. Shiva wears the ash of burned corpses. Transforming in both cases the masses into the Matter of the Bodiless#ramblings //#leviathan //#Maheshvara //#Not surprised this is coming up now he loves his fun fact time. Earlier I was poking at what he was doing#because he's... very distracted. And uh. Somewhere over yonder doing war stuff with people. And I was thinking about how he is just so many#circumstance based people at the same time. He'll be doing paperwork in a Royal Office somewhere and on a battlefield elsewhere and#running through the forest as a deer somewhere else and living as members of a school of fish in some transcendental lake#and scrying the pools of God and watching birds in a forest... and he incarnates here too and will be a chef downtown#and a teacher somewhere else up also doing paperwork and some dog on the street begging for food and and and#And over all of it... That central blissful mind that is water itself. all it's senses of self - emotions. thoughts. and so on - arising#from its various movements and shapes as reflections on the surface. But also... a sweet thing. Anyway#That black umbrella Lev that's deep and beyond names... beloved.... Searching for someone...#Shiva throws himself down into reality to bounce around as rays of light... the sun incarnating through the day sky into plants then into#animals and so on slowly recollecting more and more who he is. Searching for Shiva#always. Well. You found him. But then... Well. You go past the crying screaming stage of birth and then you get to fun#You gestate. You know who you are when the Sun's light touches your eyes. You scream at it. You change. You grow.#Then you learn the world is fun... People talk about how it seems ridiculous that someone who had achieved oneness would come back#and I wholly agree on a side thought relevant to that that most people who claim to know oneness don't know it#because the idea of oneness itself is actually a product of duality IE you have to be on a world where Two exists to understand One#One doesn't exist in a unified world. There's no One. In a unified world... So you can absolutely achieve a state of oneness while still#being non-unified if you don't truly get it... But anyway. On the why come back thing... Yeah people don't get it. But people who do get it#come back all the time. This reality is just an experience. You can spend your entire life asleep or you can come play and experience#So. Lev's incarnations on this plane mirror his incarnation of Shiva Into Bodies... He comes here to play games. He plays#He takes photos. He wanders. He plays music for people on street corners. He laughs. He loves. He suffers. He experiences.#Sometimes he doesn't understand. Sometimes he understands. Anyway.... Looking through his eyes... Iridescent scene of cranes#flying over a sunset more rich than I've ever seen on earth but so natural. Fire without fire. Water catching and soaking up every colour.
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Something I see frequently is fans wanting characters like Elle Greenaway or Nathan Harris to return as unsubs in Criminal Minds, which. I'll be completely honest, I hate the idea for a lot of the suggested characters because it feels so undeniably tragic and hopeless that someone will inevitably become a killer, even if they don't want to become one. Yes, a lot of the unsubs have some kind of tragic backstory, but the thing is that they're still awful people (excluding very very few). I feel like having previous characters return as the unsub paints this picture that you're unable to break the cycle of violence or that you're destined to become a monster, which is just such a honestly tragic message, especially for a show that's already pretty dark.
I'm not opposed to characters reappearing, but I'd much prefer that if those characters appeared again that it'd be in the vein of them having undergone some kind of healing and growth and be able to find themselves some kind of peace and satisfaction in where they are in life. Let them reappear, but don't transform them into monsters but a symbol of the healing and growth available to survivors and the other characters.
#criminal minds#elle greenaway#nathan harris#don't get me wrong i get WHY ppl want it#like elle as an unsub would (admittedly in previous years when her teammates were still there) have been a v dramatic and interesting story#but at the same time... let her heal. she went through some really traumatic stuff and wasnt able to handle it and walked away#let her heal and find peace and leave behind the violence#or nathan harris! like that one admittedly always bugs me bc the idea that a kid who tried to kill himself rather than hurt someone#ends up ultimately becoming a killer anyways is genuinely so tragic and devasting and just hopeless#i just feel like a lot of these perpetuates the idea that you can't break the cycle of abuse or violence#or that you're unable to overcome the difficulties in your life or mind and your fate is sealed#which is genuinely the most fucking tragic ass theme that i've ever heard#like is that really what people want the show's message to be?#no matter how hard you try you will inevitably become what you fear and/or you will perpetuate the violence you experienced#i HATE that message#its why i really dislike how multiple characters reappear later as unsubs especially characters like lindsey vaughn and david smith#like what is the implication here? you're destined to continue the cycle of violence that your parents began?#you'll never be free from the violence you witnessed? you were just a child but your fate has been sealed anyways?#especially with so many of our mcs as well having dealt with serious trauma in their past#are they also destined to become their parents/abusers?#it just feels like a v hopeless message tbh which doesnt feel great when the show is already pretty dark#instead of characters coming back as unsubs i'd love to see them be able to help as teachers or guidance counselors or therapists#or anything really tbh like. show me that they're able to find peace despite what was done to them.#show me that while the trauma may be a part of you it is not all you are
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Good day, it’s been a while, I am thinking about Tang Sanzang
#knox rambles#I'm putting him under a microscope and studying him#he's actually such a neat dude#I love how everyone in jttw has flaws#even the percieved best amongst them n stuff#need me more of Tripitaka in general#like give me more of his imperfections aside from the classic circlet moments#give me this man is both the bravest and the most cowardly#give me an imperfect man who's trying to be good but has just as much to learn on this journey as his disciples do#give me a Tang Sangzang who's smarter than people assume and traumatized out of his mind but still pressing forward#give me a jttw group that is both the worst thing for each other but the absolute best for each other at the same time#give me a monk pushed to his limits and then some give me him at his absolute worst so we can see him at his best#give me him thinking the best means one thing and he grows to lean better what it means to be a teacher#I'm having thoughts#scattered thoughts but g o ds
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btw i got accepted at my second choice uni major bc i'm 2 point under the point limit at the first and i'm so normal about this :)))
#im straight up ghosting all my irls who try to talk to me about this#not my mom ofc bc we live in the same household and i literally cant and also she told most family members#but everyone else gets muted or ignored and i wont take that fucking call father i dont care#i left the group chat with my former art teacher on read bc everyones got accepted at their first choice and i dont wanna tell them#that i am the dumb one#basically all my good reputation came from being “smart” and this would be the most humiliating thing ever#✩‧₊˚
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School is draining any small motivation I had for art
or creativity in general
(tw: I got pretty much depressive in the tags but I needed to dump this somewhere and this may not be the best place but is where I feel better talking about my problems or insecurities, so feel free to ignore)
#vent in the tags#tw vent#i'm tired#and I hate that I'm tired#everytime I try to finish education is worst than the last time. my head can't take any sort of information from the class#no matter how many times they try to explain me or how many times I read and reread the same text#I can't focus. I can't memorize anything. I'm just sitting there in the classroom waiting for the 4 hours to finish to go back home#and spend the rest of the night just doing nothing. staring at the walls or doomscrolling till I have to go to bed and wake up again#for another day of fighting against an stupid anxiety attack in class because I'm going to fail this again#I hate school. I fucking hate it. the most boring stressing overwhelming way of learning#having the teacher talk for 1-2 hours straight and the student listening the whole time not saying anything is stupid#it's so fucking stupid they only want them to be mindless sheeps that only listen#because if you say anything 'no. you're wrong. I'm the teacher and I know better' fucking bullshit#this system is bullshit#and how am I supposed to study a whole school year of history. biology. math etc in less than 4 months??#everybody was like#'oh it's just 4 months and you'll be out of school!' 'in 4 months you'll get the education!' 'you can finish this in just 4 months!'#I fucking can't! I can't do this in such short time! I can't. focus. on 6. subjects at the same time. my brain can't!#and it's so fucking depressing. I have 4 opportunities to finish this. the longest it could take me is 2 years#I could just focus on 1 or 2 things each time but if I fail too many times I won't have another opportunity like this ever again#and I won't be able to finish highschool education and I. just. can't.#I'm tired of giving my biggest effort and not being enough. I'm tired of getting no satisfaction from any achievement I get#I hate so many things right now#and I have a lot more things in my head right now but I better shut up#you don't have to comfort me. it's ok. I'm not searching for confort. I just needed a place to dump my frustration or something#idk#you can ignore this#I might delete this later
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just did a “huh. wonder what she’s up to” fb search of one of my dance friends from high school and yup another win for lesbians. [redacted] school of irish dance absolutely churning out future gays. of the six of us who danced into hs at least four are gay and/or nb now which is. statistically anomalous
#Now I haven’t talked to most of them in years but we should all hang out sometime#just so we can confirm how many of our ‘wow I’m obsessed with this girl. for normal reasons’ suppressed crushes were on the same people#emily… mallory… deirdre… christina… your services to the lesbian community will not go unremembered#(the one dance friend I have talked to recently confirmed that we were for sure secretly gay for the same cool older girls as kids)#[dance teacher name redacted] hey. by being kind to children and having a cool older daughter? we are handing u this ally flag#(also he did not raise an eyebrow when I came back from first semester college w a new name! great guy! adore him! hope he’s thriving!)#tree.txt
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I caught myself looking like 😑 again at the grocery store today and I feel so awkward. I don’t want to come off as an asshole to anyone working there (it must suck as a job, especially during summer tourist season) but my face is just like this! I think it would be really funny if I got a custom t-shirt one day that just said “sorry, it’s (probably) not you. My face is just like this” with the 😑 emoji under it
#emma posts#when it doesn’t look like 😑 it looks like 😳#i just remembered today that part of the reason it’s like this was that in highschool if i looked like that my bullies got bored#was always switching between 😑 and 😳 and now those are just my defaults#the 😳 would probably be around regardless tho#it’s kinda funny how my teacher mom has strangers approach her regularly but my dad and I and maybe my brothers don’t get that#but my dad is 6ft with a 😑 expression most of the time in public#my brothers have different vibes but are also huge#youngest has got an awkward gentle giant energy#and middle kid has what I can only call a ‘more subtle bakugo rizz’ if that makes any sense#dude needs to take his meds like the rest of us#I really went from 😳 elementary to 😑 highschool expression wise#and one is anxiety and autism while the other is autism and defense against bullies#but now my face is just like that by default and it’s super awkward#I’m also self conscious about how i look while laughing#but that’s a mostly separate thing#mostly#non-human animals get the ☺️ expression though so they like my vibes better#I also try to be like that with kids. and I am a little internally. but I also panic about how the respond to them#I’d blame one specific younger cousin experience but I’m not totally sure#either way I look a little less 😑 to them but probably still a little 😳#kids with anxiety seem to like me though. we get each other’s vibes I guess 🤷♀️#but gods. I don’t want to look at cashiers like 😑 in the checkout but i keep doing it#and when i consciously try to stop i often look more like 😳#girl has no rizz if you’re not a cat#I react the same way to energetic dogs as I do most kids which is a bit weird tbh#I end up looking like a combination of 😳😐😬😦😅 when I try to talk to neighbors#my only advantage is that people think my jokes are funny. at least in person#and I can at least tell when someone is faking their smile response#if there are two things I can usually pick up on it’s nervousness and amusement
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Nope, I'm still crying
#i wish literally anybody from school remembered me#literally only 2 people i was friends with hace talked to me in the past four years#i had the realization tonight that i was never given the choice to nurture most of my friendships#everytime i tried outside of school hours including trying to join clubs my mom would make me leave halfway through then lecture me#that she didn't have time to drive to town and get me#but as soon as my brother wanted to join junior air force she suddenly had all the time and energy in the world to devote to that#so what I'm getting here is that my friendships and interests weren't important enough or worth her time#i wasn't interested in Junior air force 1 cause it wasn't offered to me and 2 I'm not a boit licker#no#i was interested in the video game and board game clubs cause my friends were in them and they WANTED me to join#but after not getting to stay for more than one full session after a month i left the board game club cause it wasn't fair to the others#and i only went to the video game clu once and i don't remember much of it cause i was too anxious that she was gonna flip on me#i kept waiting for her text but instead she showed up at the classroom and made me leave#so when the same teacher that ran the board game club asked if i wanted to join the chess club cause he knew i liked chess#i told him i couldn't cause i was too busy because i didn't want to deal with begging my mom to let me join#she would have said yes but would have continued not letting me stay and being super passive aggressive#I'm not even in the year book for the year my friends graduated#the one thing she did let me do was drama and i hated every second of it. it was genuinely a bad experience for me#yeah i had friends in drama but it's not the same as hanging with my nerdy guy friends playing a star wars ttrpg#the worst part is she gets so defensive when i bring it up and won't give me a reason outside of 'I guess I'm just the worst parent'#it's in those moments i really remember she's the youngest in her family#OH!! it gets worse! she told me when i was younger that she had to be an honorary cheer leader cause HER MOM absolutely refused to#let her join cheer and she's alsways been bitter about it but then she turns around and did basically the same thing to me ffs#at least she was allowed to hang out with people after-school i wasn't allowed to do that either#no. instead i spent the hours after shcool alone most days and my weekends home alone in my room. and she wonders why my social skills are#maybe if I'd been allowed to work on my relationships outside of a classroom i wouldn't have felt so abandoned when everyone i knew#graduated without me. maybe if i didn't have to start back at square one socially again and had people to text and hang with after class#i wouldn't have dropped out. and i think only atlas knows i dropped out. idk how to text these people without spunding like I'm looking for#sympathy when they ask what I'm up to. like yeah I'm stuck at home with an anxiety disorder and unemployed trying to get on disability#prisma vents
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