#most of them i did not recognize and neither did op supposedly

[a9saga]

the gazette - daku // no idea what this song's about but it sounds really sexy

[echoes-of-the-clockwork]

Book One: Gold (Prompto x Reader) Chapter VI

The next morning, (Y/n) wandered into the convenience store. She offered to do some shopping for the boys and stock up on supplies for their dangerous trip ahead. She looked around at the items on display, wondering what all she should buy with the gil Ignis gave her. While staring at a few potions on the shelves, memories from the past filled her mind. She remembered the time when they were only 12 and Prompto was living with his adoptive parents. They didn't know about her due to the blonde keeping her hidden in the gemstone whenever they were around.

When his parents went to work one day, they left a sick Prompto behind. She took it upon herself to take care of him while they were gone. She was forced to head to a nearby store for some medicine and was gone for almost an hour due to not being familiar with human remedies. By the time she got back, he was crying. Tears were streaming down his face as he wailed at the top of his lungs. A sniffle came from him every now and then. She learned he was crying because he couldn't find her and thought she'd left him for good. The spirit reassured him before showing him what she bought at the store to help with his cold.

Suddenly, (Y/n) was torn from her thoughts when Ardyn strolled over. She tried to ignore him, but it was futile when he blocked her from grabbing some potions. She kept calm and did her best to be nice. "May I squeeze by and get some potions?"

"Why, of course." He stepped aside. "My apologies, (Y/n)."

She grabbed a few potions and elixirs, ignoring the man when she noticed he was staring at her. She headed to the counter and paid for the items, but she was once again stopped by Ardyn when he blocked the entrance of the store. She looked up at his face, seeing his somewhat unsettling smile. "What?"

"I must say, young Prompto truly is fortunate to have you by his side," he said.

Her eyes narrowed. She wasn't sure what made him say such a thing. "And what brought this up?"

"A mere observation on my part, is all." He sighed dramatically. "Oh, if only Callyx was as dedicated."

"Maybe it's not him, but you. Now if you'll excuse me..." She pushes past him to exit the convenience store and returns to the caravan. She handed the curatives to Ignis, who thanked her.

Once they were all ready to ship out, they left the caravan. Noctis begrudgingly spoke with Ardyn inside the store to tell the man they were ready to leave. Callyx told (Y/n) she no longer had to ride with them before entering the red car alongside his auburn-haired man. The girl didn't complain and sat in between Gladio and Ignis in the backseat of the Regalia. Noctis started the engine once everyone was inside the car.

Like the day before, Noctis followed a safe distance behind Ardyn's car. After leaving Cauthess Coernix Station, Gladio glanced at their destination that loomed in the distance. "Whoever thought of tapping into the Meteor's power was a genius."

Prompto glanced at the Disc. "Can you even go near that thing?"

"They harvest fragments found nearby-pieces that broke off when the Meteor fell. Almost fell, I should say, for the Archaean caught it," Ignis explained.

"And he's still there, holding the thing up," Gladio added.

"Guess he never misses leg day," Noctis commented.

"Or any day for that matter," Prompto said.

"His unceasing toil and the Meteor's might form the tenets of worship for the locals of Duscae," the advisor stated.

"Makes you wonder what it's like down there at his feet," the shield voiced his thoughts out loud.

"Speaking of gods, that Callyx guy seems to know a lot about an Astral that's supposedly forgotten," Noctis said.

"It's possible Callyx has access to ancient texts that mention Brahma. He did tell me a little more about the seventh Astral," (Y/n) chimed in. "The creator god's consciousness resides within the Celestial Crescent."

"You mean that cluster of stars you told me about?" Prompto asked.

She nodded. "Yeah. Callyx even asked me if I was hearing voices coming from it."

"Are you?" Gladio inquired.

"Well..." She clasped her hands together in her lap. "I'm...not sure. I think I hear a voice, but I can't say for certain."

"Eh, don't worry about it, (Y/n)," Prompto said. "Let's tackle one all-mighty being before worrying about another."

"Couldn't agree more," Noctis stated.

Ignis, after a couple minutes of silence, spoke up and discussed another topic. "So you know, it's hot where we're going. Will the camera fare all right?"

Prompto lifted up his camera, examining the device. "As long as I avoid open flames, it should be okay. I think."

"We don't have a spare if it breaks," Gladio said.

"Leave it in the car?" Noctis suggested.

"Oh no, I'm taking it. Not every day you get up close and personal with the Archaean. I'd kick myself if I missed the photo op," Prompto replied.

"Spoken like a true photographer," the brute remarked.

"As they say, "Better to try and fail than never to try at all"."

Noctis grinned. "Look at you."

"Well, they say that, not me," the blonde said.

"Well, you just do what you gotta."

"But in all seriousness, try not to break it. It was expensive," (Y/n) chimed in.

"I'd never break it! It's very precious to me, especially since you're the one who bought it for me," Prompto stated.

"You bought it? With what money?" Gladio questioned, glancing at the girl sitting beside him.

"I used to work in a small boutique in Insomnia. It was run by a spirit like myself. I worked hard for every yen I spent on that camera." The guardian leaned back in her seat. "She was the first spirit I met. Callyx is the second."

"Wow. Are spirits really that rare?" Noctis asked.

"Yeah. It'll take some serious dedication on the empire's part if they want to wipe out all the spirits on Eos."

The group, once again, fell silent. Noctis kept his attention on road to ensure he wasn't too far or too close to Ardyn's car. Prompto glanced into the backseat at (Y/n) before looking towards Ignis. "Hey, Iggy. Can your glasses take the heat?"

At the mention of his glasses, the strategist adjusted them. "Well, I don't see why they shouldn't."

"Even if they couldn't, he'd still be all right," Noctis commented.

Gladio nodded in agreement. "Yeah, Iggy's eyes ain't that bad."

Prompto was flabbergasted at the news. "Oh, really?"

"My vision is passable without corrective lenses," Ignis explained.

"Then why not take 'em off sometimes?"

"Well..."

Noctis snorted with laughter. "You don't get it, huh?"

"Ignis likes his world to be crystal clear," the shield said.

"Indeed. I've never been one for ambiguity," the advisor claimed.

"Ah. I think I'm getting the picture now." Prompto sat back down, turning to face the front.

"What if they were to break? Do you have a spare pair?" (Y/n) questioned out of curiosity.

"I'm afraid not," the bespectacled man answered.

Drawing closer to the Disc of Cauthess, Prompto has one more question to ask the strategist. "Hey Ignis, how's it feel being away from the wheel?"

"Positively frightening," Ignis responded honestly.

Noctis glanced at him in the rear view mirror, eyes narrowed. "What're you sayin'?"

"That I'm no stranger to His Highness' driving habits."

"'Preciate the confidence."

"Wait," (Y/n) sat up slightly. "Is he really that bad of a driver?"

"Morosely, yes," Ignis replied.

"I mean, he can't be that bad...can he?"

"Trust us, short stuff, he's the worst driver you could ever meet," Gladio said.

"I'm not that bad!" Noctis shouted.

"But you admit you're bad," Prompto cackled.

The prince rolled his eyes. "Ugh..."

After another minute or two, they arrived at the Cauthess barricade. It was sealed tight with imperial troopers watching the perimeter. What shocked the group the most was the lack of hostility from the enemy soldiers.

"We're here," Ardyn chirped.

"Better not be a setup," Noctis commented.

The auburn-haired man glanced over at him. "Have I given you reason to doubt me?"

"You don't exactly inspire confidence," Prompto answered.

Gladio was in agreement with the blonde. "Yeah, not very straightforward."

"Neither of you are," (Y/n) mumbled, eyeing both men in the car beside the Regalia.

Ardyn looked away from the group and shouts over the wall. "Hello! It's me! Be so kind as to open up!"

At his lighthearted command, the gates open. Prompto gasped in shock at how easy it was for the man to gain access to the Disc. "Wow, that worked?"

"I may not look like much, but I do have some influence. Aren't you glad we came together? Your audience with divinity lies ahead."

"You're leaving?"

"I drop you at the Archaean's open door, and with that, bid you farewell."

As Noctis drives the Regalia through the open gates, (Y/n) spared one last glance toward the red car. Her golden eyes locked with Callyx's emerald ones for a split second before they were too far apart to see each other. Even with his stoic expression, she could sense something much more sinister under the surface.

"I've met some weirdos..." Gladio mumbled.

"I hope we never meet those two again," Ignis remarked.

"Whoa! Little harsh there, don't you think?" Prompto asked.

"There's something off about those two..." (Y/n) muttered.

"Glad we agree," Noctis said.

The prince continued to drive the car down the dirt path until they came to what appeared to be a dead end. The five hop out of the Regalia and located a narrow pathway to the side. They follow the path and eventually stumble upon a stone sarcophagus. Prompto recognizes the design and asked, "Is that what I think it is?"

"Didn't expect to find a royal tomb here," Ignis expresses his own bewilderment.

Gladio elbowed the prince. "Would be a shame not to grab that power, eh, Highness?"

"Let's grab it and go," Noctis blandly stated.

As the raven-haired boy walks up to the sarcophagus near the ledge, (Y/n) heard a voice again from above. It was the same one she heard yesterday. Looking up at the sky, her golden-slitted eyes focused on the Celestial Crescent. She felt as if someone had put her under a trance. Unconsciously, she walked forward a few steps and came to a halt when the disembodied voice addressed her.

You...the...

"Are you...Brahma?" The girl whispered.

Vessel...mine...

(Y/n) was still in a dream-like trance when the ground begins to shake dramatically. She managed to keep her balance while all the boys weren't so lucky. Prompto and Ignis fall down while Gladio and Noct just barely manage to keep themselves upright. "Here we go again," Prompto said, bracing himself.

"This one's huge!" Gladio bellowed over the loud rumbling.

That's when Ignis notices the ground beginning to crack underneath Gladio, Noctis, and (Y/n). "Get away! Quickly!"

The spirit's gaze was still locked on the sky. She failed to notice the danger and hear the painful cries of the prince as he was overcome by another headache. She reached out a hand towards the sky just as the ground beneath her feet crumbled. She gasped when feeling a plummeting sensation in her gut, snapping out of the trance as she began to fall. The sound of Prompto shouting her name echoed in her ears.

(Y/n) feared for her life, but her fall was short-lived. A hand wrapped around her wrist and ceased her quick descent. "I've gotcha!" Her savior shouted. Looking up, she saw it was Prompto who grabbed her.

"Prompto..." The guardian whispered.

"Just hold on!" He shouted. Using his strength, he struggled slightly to pull her up. When he managed to pull her up onto solid ground, he sighed in relief. "Whew... That was close." He wiped the few sweat droplets off his forehead before gazing towards the girl. "Are you okay, (Y/n)?"

"I'm fine thanks to you," she smiled.

Just then, the Meteor begins to rise before them, revealing Titan. The Astral who has been holding the chunk of space debris on his back for many years makes his presence known. Prompto and (Y/n) stared in awe and fear at the sight of the mighty god. They both flinched when the Archaean's booming voice resounded out.

"So this is Titan..." The guardian mumbled.

Prompto, remembering Noctis and Gladio had also fell, peers over the ledge to check on them. He shouts when seeing they were both on a lower ledge. "Noct! You okay?!"

Ignis stood by the blonde and was relieved to see the prince and his shield were in one piece. "Thank heavens you're safe. Is there a way back up?"

"No, but there's a path. Gonna see where it leads," Noctis replied.

"You three try to get down," Gladio said.

The strategist nodded. "Very well. We'll look for a way. Be careful, now."

"You, too," the prince retorted.

"What? We're going where?!" Prompto shrieked.

"No time to dawdle," Ignis spoke up. "We must make haste."

(Y/n) wandered a little ways from the crumbling ledge and spotted a narrow, rocky path nearby. She noticed it went out of the way, but it was the only route leading down. "What about this path?"

"It's our only option," the advisor said.

"Then down we go!" Prompto cheered.

The trio wandered down the path, watching where they stepped. It was narrow and littered with jagged stones. Prompto slipped a few times due to being distracted by the rumbling caused by the Archaean. Luckily, (Y/n) caught him every time he stumbled. She sighed when he nervously laughed and thanked her every time.

They continued to listen to the Astral slam his mighty stone fist into the cliffside. They weren't able to see what damage the Titan was causing, but they were able to deduce who he was trying to reach-Noctis.

Ignis, Prompto, and (Y/n) soon arrived at a dead end. They looked around for another path, but they couldn't find one. When they walked over to a cliff, they saw a path below. Carefully, they slid down the small rocky slope and land on the path. As their feet landed on the ground, they spotted the Archaean's fist strike across the way. Ignis ushered them to move quickly.

All of a sudden, (Y/n) heard a faint humming. She looked around before glancing upward. Flying overhead were imperial drop ships. Seeing the empire had arrived, Ignis pulled out his phone and tried to get ahold of Noctis. When he managed to get ahold of the prince, he was relieved. "You're safe. Good. Listen, imperial troopers are near."

Morosely, that was all the advisor got to safe before the signal was lost and the call dropped. "Bloody hell," he hissed, shoving his phone back into his pocket.

Prompto was about to ask Ignis about the call, but his attention was drawn to their left when he saw movement in his peripheral vision. "(Y/n), Iggy, we've got trouble!"

The advisor and spirit looked in the direction the blonde was. Their eyes widen when seeing Titan's open-palmed hand heading straight for them. The girl was the first to react. She shoved Ignis and Prompto to the ground just as the Astral tried to grab them.

When the Archaean's hand wrapped around (Y/n), she cried out in pain at how tight the god was gripping her. She could barely breath and only managed to gasp as Titan retracted his hand.

Prompto heard her painful wail and scurried to his feet. "(Y/n), no!" He summoned his pistol and aimed, but he was afraid of hurting her if he pulled the trigger and missed. He watched helplessly as she was dragged away by the god.

The guardian squirmed in Titan's grip. She lifted her head just as she realized she was at eye level with the Astral. She winced the moment the Archaean's booming voice echoed out. She couldn't understand what he was saying and could only stare into his eyes. Feeling the god's grip lighten, she gasped when she could breathe again.

Suddenly, her attention was drawn away from Titan when she heard the voice in the sky speak to her.

Chosen...one...

My...vessel...

(Y/n) blinked in surprise. "Brahma, are you the one talking to me?"

Yes...

You...are...my vessel...

She shook her head. "Please, don't choose me. I-I wouldn't even know what to do as the conduit! There's no way I could become your vessel!"

You are...worthy...

Child...of Pneuma...

Heed...my call...and do...my bidding...

Fear not...

I...shall...guide you...

(Y/n) gasped in pain, shouting at the top of her lungs when she felt an intense heat radiate in her chest. She clawed at her chest, the gemstone on her arm pulsating with a brilliant golden light. Blood trickled from her eyes and nose. She released one final bloodcurdling scream before falling unconscious. Her body went limp in the Archaean's hand.

Before the Astral could place the girl down, Noctis appeared out of thin air. He warped and struck the god's hand, forcing him to drop the guardian. The prince caught her and grabbed his sword. He warped them down to the ground near Titan's feet where Gladio, Ignis, and Prompto were waiting.

Once landing safely with (Y/n), that's when Noctis saw her bleeding eyes and nose. Prompto rushes over while Gladio and Ignis provide protection from the Astral. The blonde carefully took the girl's body out of the prince's arms and pulled her into his. His heart was racing with worry after seeing the blood and seeing she was unconscious. He quickly picked her up and carried her away from Titan as Noctis parries the god's fist. He gently placed her down on the ground, glancing between her and the others. Seeing they needed his help, he reluctantly left her side to rejoin the fight.

As the royal retinue continued to fight against the Archaean, more imperial drop ships arrived. The group was ready to deal with the empire, but they were relieved when Titan swatted away some of the ships before they could attack. With the imperials now disposed of, they continued to deal damage to the god.

Eventually, Noctis built up enough energy to activate the armiger. He dealt blow after blow before performing a joint attack with his companions. They dealt heavy damage, causing the Astral to lose his balance and fall to a single knee. After attacking, Ignis then hurls a Blizzard spell at the god's arm. "The game's up!"

Gladio and Prompto follow the advisor's lead and hurl yet more Blizzard spells at Titan's arm. "You're out!" The blonde shouted. The Archaean's left arm freezes from the elbow down.

"It's over!" Noctis swings his sword down into the arm, shattering it all the way up to the elbow. Titan then collapses. The prince turns around to face his friends. "Hey, we all still here?"

"Yep, still here," Gladio replied.

"If a little battered," Ignis added. "How is (Y/n)?"

Prompto gasped, eyes widening as he ran over to the girl. Noctis, Gladio, and Ignis stood behind the marksman as he tended to her. He fell to his knees beside her and used a potion. He wasn't sure if it would help, but he knew it wouldn't hurt to use one. Prompto cups her cheeks in his palms and wipes the blood off of them. He stared at her with a saddened expression. "(Y/n)...?"

He received no response.

Ignis checked on her and was able to tell she was physically fine on the outside. His only concerns were her bleeding nose and eyes, which could be a result of internal injuries. He assisted Prompto by helping him put the girl on his back. When seeing she was safely onto the sharpshooter's back, he stepped away.

Just then, the tremors resume. The ground shook violently. The group's gazes fell back on to Titan. "What-what is it now?" Noctis asked.

Ignis' eyes narrowed, watching the Astral closely. "What is he doing?"

"He's winding up!" Prompto shouted. His grip on (Y/n)'s thighs tighten and he took a few steps back, readying himself to run.

"For the big one!" Gladio bellowed.

Titan roars, his booming cry echoing all around the royal retinue. Gold lights begin to emanate from his body, some of which coalesce around Noctis, showing him the god's memory of Luna standing before the god. Once Luna fades, he watched another memory of the god fighting a cosmic being. Titan, although bigger than the cosmic being, fell to his knees after being defeated.

When the god's memory fades, Noctis blinks in surprise. "That was...Luna. You spoke with her. That's why... But what was with that other memory?"

Titan and the Meteor suddenly discorporate in a powerful flash that sends all the imperial ships in the vicinity crashing to the ground. Lava spews from the earth as the Disc of Cauthess crumbles around the boys.

"Doesn't get much worse than this," Gladio commented. The four find themselves trapped.

Suddenly, an imperial drop ship descends to their location. Ignis grew tense as the airship closed in on them. "The empire! Now?"

The drop ship's door lowers, revealing Ardyn and Callyx. The auburn-haired man smiled at them. "Fancy meeting you here!"

Noctis and the others stare at the two men in stunned silence. Callyx crosses his arms with a sigh. "Maybe they didn't hear you."

Ardyn continues. "It occurs to me I never formally introduced myself. Izunia. Ardyn Izunia."

Ignis was shocked at the revelation. "Imperial Chancellor Izunia?"

"At your service. And more importantly, to your aid."

None of the boys move, instead offering only uncertain stares. Prompto glared up at the two, remembering what the empire's plans were. He couldn't believe Callyx was working for the empire knowing they were hunting down and killing spirits.

"I guarantee your safe passage. Though you're always welcome to take your chances down there," Ardyn spoke up. He glanced around at the faces of the royal retinue after receiving no response. "Buried among the rubble, is it?"

Ignis looked away from the chancellor and guardian, eyeing the prince. "Dying here is not an option. We have no choice, Noct."

Noctis met his advisor's gaze. "I know."

Reluctantly, the boys board the airship. As the hatch closes behind them, Prompto placed (Y/n) down. He then sat down and pulled her body into his arms. He rested his head on top of hers, ignoring Ardyn as he tried to speak to the others. He closed his eyes, holding her tightly against him.

It wasn't long before Prompto's eyes flew open at the sound of approaching footsteps. Looking up, he saw Callyx and glared at him. He watched the emerald-eyed guardian kneel in front of him. The moment he tried to touch (Y/n), Prompto summoned his pistol and aimed it at the man's head. "Don't touch her."

Callyx retracted his hand before raising it as a sign of peace. "I only wanted to check on her. What happened?"

Prompto lowered his pistol slightly, but kept it aimed at the spirit. "I-I don't know..." He looked down at the girl slumped against his chest. "Why're you working with the empire? Aren't you the one that said they were killing spirits?"

"I made a deal with them a short while ago. They allowed me to keep my life in exchange for loyalty. I'm using my position to warn any guardians I come across. (Y/n) is the first guardian I've met outside the empire."

"Won't they kill you once they learn you're protecting other guardians?"

"Most likely, but I'm willing to risk my life to protect my people."

Even at Callyx's declaration, Prompto didn't trust him. He dispelled his pistol and chose to remain silent. The spirit walked away after taking the hint and rejoined Ardyn and the others.

Now alone, Prompto buried his face into (Y/n)'s (h/c) hair and whispered, "Please wake up soon..."

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter || Masterlist

[moon-ruled-rising]

as the rain hides the stars | xv

read it on ao3...

where to begin?

Babe, there’s something wretched about this,

something so precious about this,

where to begin?

Babe, there’s something broken about this,

but I might be hoping about this.

Oh, what a sin.

-Hozier, “From Eden”

“I’m sure Rhaenys will be fine, it’s Aegon I’m worried about. He’s a little chatterbox.”

The bits of dialogue between Dany and her conference call reached Jon’s ears as he stared out the window and watched the countryside slip past. They were on their way to another Northern landmark, just the two of them. Their Majesties thought it was a good way for the public to see them acting like a real couple, even though it was far from the truth.

Despite the impending publicity stunt, Dany was seemingly playful. After a week of wedding planning she was probably ecstatic to get away from it all. And understandably so. He attended a few of the planning sessions, specifically the cake tasting and menu planning. Dany surprised him by taking his opinions into consideration and even Catelyn appeared to tolerate his presence. 

They also had their first dance lesson which only reinforced the fact that Jon had two left feet. Luckily, it wasn't a standard ballroom dance so they were both spared any crushed toes. Although there were a few instances of hands missing their mark and ending up in the other’s face. They could hardly look at each other the next day without cracked smiles and stifled laughter. Much to the dismay of the Great Wedding Committee who wanted to discuss stationary and rings. 

Jon felt guilty after that particular meeting. Even though they were discussing wedding rings, he realized he’d never given Dany a proper engagement ring. She’d taken to wearing a ring of her mother’s on her finger so no one would get suspicious about the lack of a real proposal. Dany said people wouldn’t question the legitimacy of their engagement if a ring was involved. So Jon employed the help of Arya and Sansa, who were both detrimental in getting Dany’s ring size on the sly and helping him choose from the modest selection of jewels. They found a perfect choice after an hour of looking, it didn’t even need to be reset. He would’ve given it to her there in the car but it wouldn’t matter. The weather took a nasty dip and it was always cold on the wall so they would be wearing light gloves.

“Oh, thank the Gods!” Dany cried, breaking Jon from his reverie.

“Finally done?”

“Deadzone.” she let her phone fall dramatically onto the seat between them and leaned her head on the window.

Jon chuckled. They had crossed into the Gift, a swath of land set aside for the Night’s Watch specifically and notorious for its spotty reception. In another hour they would be at Castle Black. He would by lying if he said he wasn’t anxious to be back. The reminder of the incident and his subsequent indefinite leave were still fresh in his mind.

Even though he trained and studied like the other recruits, he was never meant to be a ranger. The job was too dangerous for the Prince of the North so Lord Commander Mormont requested Jon be his personal steward. While he still craved the adventure of the rangings, he was willing to concede. However, there was one time he’d gotten a taste of what he could’ve had if he weren’t so damned important.

Shadow Unit was down a man and with no reports of wildling activity in the area, they let Jon ride out with them. The route they patrolled was clear with no sign of any wildling activity. That was how it usually went. In his four years at the Wall the only times there were actually run ins with the tribes that lived there got too close or Mormont sent the ranging parties further north.

The clear mile between the forest edge and the Wall was in their sights, bringing with it the promise of warmth and rest. The night was still and unnaturally dark and cold, the men in the unit were just as wary of the atmosphere as their mounts. The Haunted Forest was overgrown and wild, making it impossible for bulky vehicles to navigate. And going on foot was worse for obvious reasons so the Watch kept horses. 

A rustling in the trees brought their procession to a halt. With no wind to shake the branches, Jon knew at once that they shouldn’t have stopped. One of the men went to radio in  the activity when dark shapes descended on the front and rear and chaos ensued. Their formation broke into a mess of nervous horses and shouting men. On the narrow trail there was no way to break through, they were fish in a barrel. 

Somehow, in the darkness and confusion, Jon was tossed from his saddle. He landed on the frozen ground and avoided being trampled by his own horse. With no cover and no clear way out, Jon ducked into the trees. He managed to conceal himself and was about to try to contact Castle Black when he was tackled, his radio skidding across the snow and out of his reach. He managed to get his forearms between the attacker and his face but not before his crude knife slashed at his eye. 

The shout that left Jon filled the still forest as he forced his assailant off. Jon flipped himself over and tried to crawl to his radio. A searing, fire erupted in his leg and he knew he was a victim to the primitive tool his attacker had. As though it was second nature, Jon drew his gun and aimed. 

Even in the dark, he could feel the eyes of his opponent. Jon realized there was a human staring down the barrel of his gun. It was a brief thought, fleeting. Neither of them moved. There was no time to overthink it and without any more consideration, Jon pulled the trigger. 

He wasn’t shaking like he hoped he would. His breath was even and the pain from his eye and leg was dull but the sensation was growing. But as he laid there in the snow he contemplated what would come next.

The afternoon brought a meeting with Lord Commander Mormont. He wasn’t in command of Shadow Unit, nor was he leading the ranging so Jon had no idea why the Lord Commander would want to talk with him about the incident. At least that’s what he told himself to keep the dreading feeling away. Mormont was going to tell him his time with the Night’s Watch was over and he was going back to Winterfell.

“You wished to see me, Lord Commander?” Jon asked as he stepped through the door.

“Have a seat Jon.”

He didn’t want to. He wanted to be ready to leave the moment the Old Bear said the words but the ache in his leg was still too bothersome to ignore.

“I’m sure you know that your father was alerted about the attack last night. Once he heard of your involvement and subsequent injury he commanded that you be placed on leave indefinitely and sent back to Winterfell.”

There it was. “What did you say to him?”

Mormont sighed, “I tried to convince him to let you stay but my explanation of the events did little to sway him.”

“I can’t go back there.” Jon shook his head.

He knew he would return eventually but he hadn’t planned on it being so soon.

“Neither of us have much choice in the matter,” the Old Bear reminded him, “We must all answer to the crown.”

At court, he felt like everything was handed to him. Even his claim to the throne was presented like a gift on his name day. While any other man would’ve taken advantage of it, Jon came to resent it. He found it to be one of the many reasons for the disdain surrounding him. It didn’t help that bastards were considered treacherous, even a legitimized one.

Serving with the Night’s Watch gave him the chance to earn something. Even if it was the least exciting of the positions, he put in the time and effort to achieve it. Hearing his name called and reciting the word beneath the grove of heart trees was the most gratifying experience. 

Jon found himself in much the same position again, though this time it was a woman the Crown placed into his life. Like an invitation for a week-long hunting trip on Bear Island only significantly more permanent and harder to refuse. And they were both real people with their own wants and needs but some selfish pricks higher than them decided that none of that mattered; reducing him and Dany to mere pawns in the ever evolving game.

The view outside the window changed with the first signs of Mole’s Town, several roofs and chimney stacks sticking out of the ground. To help protect against the cold homes were built underground and the public buildings were connected by tunnels. In more recent years, people began constructing their houses into the sides of man made hills. It seemed the only structure to be seen from the road was Castle Black, standing stoic and dark against the gleaming ice of the Wall.

Once a simple fortification of towers and scattered rooms, the years saw it transform from ancient keep to proper military base. Not that there was a great war to be expected from the folk beyond the wall, Castle Black was really a form of discouragement from trying to sneak through the wall.

“Seven hells,” Dany muttered as they passed through the gates, “That is a lot of ice.”

“Wait until you see the view from the top,” Jon said.

“We’re actually going up there?”

“Of course. Wouldn’t be a trip to the Wall without it.”

There was a media frenzy in the courtyard. As part of the agreement between the press and the Royal Family, Jon and Dany would give them enough time for a photo op as they were greeted by the Lord Commander and then they expected peace and quiet for the day and a half they were there. 

Jon was surprised they were willing to accept such a quick and easy deal since it was the first public sighting of the newly engaged royals. A pair who were supposedly so in love, they decided they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together in the span of a week. Luckily, decorum helped them avoid any public displays of affection and bed sharing as their accommodations provided two separate rooms.

Brother’s of the Night’s Watch paused along the walkways to view the flashing cameras and the two people all the fuss was over. Jon didn’t recognize any of the faces. He doubted he would, a lot could change in two years. He at least expected to see Edd Tollett walking alongside the Lord Commander, complaining Mormont’s ear off. But the Lord Commander arrived alone, dressed in the ceremonial blacks with the bear of Mormont set among the various pins and medals.

“Your Highnesses, it is an honor to have you at Castle Black.”

The camera flashes increased as Jon shook Mormont’s hand and they posed for a good minute afterward, smiling and acting gracious. The press was ushered out of the courtyard and Mormont dropped the pretense.

“So, this is the young lady you’ve decided to spend the rest of your life with?” Mormont sizing up Dany, “A spectacular choice.”

Jon saw her smug smile. When she noticed he was looking at her, she nudged him with her shoulder.

The loud, high-spirited sounds that accompanied a returning patrol unit drew his attention away. Ghost Unit, he could tell. The two friends he made in his time at the wall, Grenn and Pyp, were in that group. 

“Well if it isn’t Lord Snow!” one of them called.

He shook his head. The nickname was meant as a mean tease and it stuck. Jon should’ve corrected them, reminded the men that he deserved the respect of his rank, but it brought back a wave of nostalgia he was grateful for.

“Aurochs and Pyp-squeak,” he greeted in the same mocking tone.

“We were about to head to Tormund’s if you wanted to join us,” offered Grenn, clapping Jon on the back.

“The lady can come too.”

Pyp nodded toward Dany, who stood by Jon’s side.

She laughed, “I would love to but one of us should stay for the tour from the Lord Commander.”

“You don’t mind if I go?”

“Of course not. You’ve probably seen enough of the place anyway.”

Jon thanked her, which she waved off in her casual way before leaving with Mormont.

Tormund’s little pub was one of the busiest attractions in the underground village of Mole’s Town. The atmosphere was humid and hot with all the bodies stuffed in the small space. When Jon inquired about the increase in people, his brothers laughed.

“It’s because of you and your sweetheart. As soon as news broke about your visit up here they all decided to make a weekend trip just to catch sight of you two.” Grenn informed. 

Jon noticed there were quite a few people wandering around up top. They were probably hoping to get close enough to the base but would have to wait until the photos were released. For once the strict policy on royal/press policy. 

The group found an empty table somewhere, Edd ended up joining them later. He wished he could enjoy their company like he used to but they kept asking him about the wedding and Dany and he found himself dodging questions, unable to relax.

“Can I come to the wedding?”

“You can come to the reception.”

“What if I’m your supporter?”

“Robb’s already got the job, Pyp.”

“Okay but what if-”

“If you don’t shut up I’m going to throttle you,” Edd threatened, as tired of the wedding talk as Jon was.

He managed to flip the conversation back to them by asking Grenn about his possible promotion. Grenn launched into a long winded rant, with added talking points by Pyp, about the placement of new recruits and new training requirements. All was going well until Tormund found out they were at his establishment.

Jon heard his warhorn of a voice call ‘Crow!’ from across the packed room. There was more grey in his orange hair than Jon remembered but that didn’t stop him from plucking the Prince out of his seat and nearly crushing him in a hug.

“I thought I’d seen the last of you when they shipped you back south. What the hells are you doing up here?”

“He and his fiancée are here to see the wall.”

“Fiancée? Well, what are you waiting for crow, show me a picture of this special woman,” Tormund demanded.

Jon pulled out his phone to find a picture of Dany and realized that he had none on his camera roll. He tried to search the internet for one but Tormund spotted him.

“You don’t have a picture of her in your phone?”

“They’ve only known each other a week,” Pyp chimed in.

“A week? Gods you work fast,” echoed Tormund in disbelief.

“It’s a long story that I’d rather not get into,” he tried to defend.

He wasn’t allowed to reveal the exact nature of his and Dany’s relationship, no matter how far-fetched it seemed to other people.

Edd broke in with, “I think we know why Lord Snow fell so fast.”

The tone in his voice reminded Jon of someone who was about to tell a bad joke. When he gave Edd a questioning look, he shrugged.

“When we found out who you were engaged to we did some digging.”

“The deep web is a wonderful, wonderful place,” came Pyp’s addition.

“The situation is much more complicated than that.”

Jon tried to sit down but Tormund pulled him back up and threw an arm around his shoulders.

“At least he’s found himself a girl to share his time with. Unlike the lot of you, sitting in my pub every weekend in the same spot and leaving together. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re more like to warm each other’s beds.”

Groans and protests went up from the group, mostly accusing Tormund of similar bachelor behavior. Jon patted Tormund’s shoulder, relieved that the conversation was off of him. 

When he returned to Castle Black with Grenn and Pyp, the sun had dipped below the wall, the sky making it’s nightly shift from orange to pink to purple to black and casting the southern half of the wall in shadow. The breeze had a harsher bite to it and Jon shoved his hands in the pockets of his coat. His gloved fingers brushed against something small and odd shaped. The ring. He’d almost forgotten about it.

In a streak of luck, Dany was crossing the courtyard with the Lord Commander. He called out to her and she stopped to look at him.

“We were about to go up top,” she said, “Everyone says now is the best time.”

Jon doubted it. The air would be colder and the wind rougher but there was something he needed to do.

“I can take you up.”

“Are you sure? Lord Commander Mormont said he would do it.”

“I’m sure.”

The Old Bear backed off and let Jon take Dany’s arm.

Despite the creaking and rattling from the winch, it was an unbearably silent ride. One that left Jon with nothing to do but fiddle with the piece of jewelry in his pocket and watch Dany readjust her scarf from the millionth time.

No matter how much he’d seen it during his four years at the Wall, the view from the top still impressed him, especially then. The horizon burned orange, lighting the soft clouds yellow and making the purple-blue of the sky look electric. The light reflected off the trees and light snow of the lands beyond the wall.

“The Lord Commander told me there are still people who live out there. What will they do when winter comes?”

“They’ve survived the cold and snow for thousands of years, they can handle one more.”

Silence settled between them again. 

“You were right. It is beautiful.”

Dany tucked her chin into her scarf as the wind picked up, swirling her loose hair around. She gathered it in her hands and wrestled it under her scarf. A few pieces managed to escape and as she turned to look at him they brushed across her face. Her cheeks and nose were pink from the cold and her eyes were starting to water. Jon lost his nerve.

It was too romantic, he decided. There was nothing he wanted less than to seem like he was trying to woo her. Not to mention with their security officers present and the possibility of a watchman passing by, it was too public. 

“We should head back down,” he offered.

She agreed and they descended, heading directly for their guest quarters. The pair of bedrooms with a common space between was fully furnished and  a welcome retreat from the oncoming cold. There was even a fire burning in the fireplace. Castle Black had a modern furnace system but nothing truly beat the cold like a roaring fire.

They parted to peel off their outerwear and change. Jon waited a good few minutes, sitting on the edge of the bed, examining the ring and trying to get his nerve back. He finally stood, walked into the living space and said, “Hey Dany, can you come here for a second.”

She appeared in the doorway. An oversized brown flannel hung from her shoulders, dwarfing her small frame, and she wore a pair of hot pink fuzzy socks on her feet.

“Is everything alright?” she asked, heading straight for the sofa in front of the fire.

Dany pulled her legs up beside her and twisted so she could see him. Her hair had a frizz to it, he noted. The light from behind caught in it, surrounding her make-up free face in a halo of gold.

“Yes,” he answered without thinking, “I mean, no… Yes and no.”

Her eyebrows raised as she eyed him. 

Jon moved to sit on the sofa with her, “When we talked about wedding rings this week, I realized that I forgot an important part of engagements.”

He realized the error he’d made in waiting until then. While the scene on the Wall was romantic in a trope riddled teen romance movie way, the low light and Jon and Dany in their sleepwear was much more intimate. And Jon cursed himself for it.

“Uh, it’s fine? I’m not really sure which part of the engagement you’re referring to.”

“That would be the proposal. I mean, you deserve a real one.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Well, that’s a shame because I have this…” Jon held the ring up.

“Oh, I’m fine with the one I’ve been wearing. You didn’t have to-”

“I know.” Without another moment’s hesitation he continued, “Daenerys Stormborn the First of House Targaryen, Princess Royal of the United Kingdoms of Westeros and Lady of Dragonstone, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

A laugh escaped her, good natured and light, “I thought you’d never ask.”

“Considering the wedding is in three weeks, I figured I’d better squeeze it in at some point.”

“Talisa was right, you are such a sap.”

“If that’s the case, I’ll be taking this back.” he started to put the ring back in his pocket but Dany reached for it.

“No, no, no, you proposed and I said yes, the ring is a fair exchange.”

She still had on her mother’s ring, so she took it off and put it on her other hand.

“Here,” Jon offered, taking her hand and sliding the real engagement ring onto her finger.

It wasn’t anything extravagant or glamorous, a simple kite shaped diamond with flecks through it (something Sansa called a ‘salt-and-pepper diamond’) set in silver. The shape reminded Jon of the tiara Dany wore to the charity gala, as well as the dragon sigil of her House.

“It’s a beautiful ring,” she said with a soft smile, still twisting and turning her hand to watch it catch the light.

“It was my Aunt Lyanna’s.”

“What happened to her?”

“She renounced her title. After Uncle Brandon died the succession skipped to my father. She was never meant for the princess life anyway, it was too stifling for her.”

“Where is she now?”

“We don’t know. Sansa thinks she fell in love with a Myrish merchant and took off to be with him in Essos.”

Dany’s face took on a thoughtful look, she dropped her hand to her lap and looked to the flames.

“I was engaged once.”

“Really?” 

Jon was shocked. As far as he was concerned, Dany had never been in a serious relationship. She just flitted from one man to another.

“I was fresh off my first semester of university and it was my first time in Meereen. The Grand Masters invited me to a gala of theirs and the Dothraki Khal happened to be there. We hit it off right away, although he didn’t speak a word of the common tongue except ‘no’. Ser Jorah had to translate everything.

“When I returned to Meereen the next summer, he invited me to Vaes Dothrak and I spent more time with him than I should have. It wasn’t a proper proposal, there was nothing planned about it. No ring, no kneeling, no pretty words. It was spur of the moment and I said yes.”

“What happened?”

“Rhaegar found out. I haven’t seen or heard from Drogo since, unless you count that tell-all article.”

“I’m very sorry.”

She looked, eyebrows furrowed.

“Why? It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t anybody’s fault but my own.” There was bitterness to her voice.

“I guess I… have sympathy for you,” Jon admitted.

“Well thank you for that. And for the ring.”

She paused, like she was contemplating something more, then got up and disappeared into her room. Jon gazed at the closed door. He sighed and departed for his own bed.

[nothingofnotereally]

Hi, it's the same anon again. I really liked your answer to my previous question, so now I also have to ask: if you were tasked with turning her into a hero, how would you do it?

okokok!  I’m sorry this took so long to answer - I was just debating whether to start from her original personality or her current characterization, and whether to involve Bruce or Damian or neither or both, and whether I should talk about making her a costumed hero or a behind the scenes player... just.

So many options so lets see.

1. THE PRE-CHARACTER ASSASSINATION CONTINUITY ANGLE:  If I’m allowed to retcon a bunch of history out in a Crisis or something, and thus pick her up from the Lexcorp days.  So as a refresher she was at odds with both Ra’s and Bruce at this time, and was striking out on her own trying to take down LexCorp from within.  Meanwhile, she was pretending to be a ruthless Lex-jr.  Also during this time,. Bruce was trying to get in touch with her and/or observing her from afar with binoculars I guess.

SO.  We go with that.  So he’s trying to see her, and she’s still dodging him - sending her reps to meetings with Bruce Wayne, etc.  And when he sees the things she’s doing as CEO of LexCorp, it’s strange to him and at odds with what he  knows of her, so he starts engaging with her on a CEO level.  Proposing deals, making strategic moves to weaken LexCorp, just... playing chess with her with their companies as the pieces.  Eventually this leads to a conference where Talia and Bruce really do show up, and Bruce finally finds out what Talia’s doing - although being Bruce he probably suspects anyway but whatever. 

They declare a truce/alliance.�� They start to investigate LexCorp together and eventually, with Clark’s help, manage to expose Lex as a murdering criminal which results in him being kicked out of office as president.  Talia sells off LexCorp’s assets (to... idk, Ted Kord or something, Bruce is rich enough, I feel like if he owned LexCorp that would break some laws about monopolies).  She then becomes involved setting up an environmental advocacy foundation.

Romance Option: Bruce and Talia end up allying on some environmental causes, and reconnect, thus rekindling their relationship.

Nonromance option: That doesn’t happen, though they may still end up allying.

Either way she eventually discovers that Ra’s had found out that she really did have the baby she claimed to miscarry, and had his adopted parents executed.  Ra’s is is raising him in secret to be a perfect warrior and the perfect heir.  When Talia finds this out, she determines to get her son back from her father, and this involves Talia and Bruce joining forces to find Damian.  Once they have him, Talia realizes that she can’t protect him from Ra’s with all his resources, not alone.  So she ends up joining forces with the Batfamily to keep close to her son, and keep him safe.

This results in either Talia eventually becoming a behind the scenes helper (thus an Oracle style hero) or becoming sucked into Bruce’s adventuring world, if we want her in a costume.  More details on some ideas about how that would work below, after the base idea for the second idea.

2. THE "LOVE IS REDEMPTION” ANGLE:  Starting from current continuity.  The League of Assassins turns on Ra’s and murders him, keeping his corpse hostage.  Then they kidnap Damian and start chipping away at his mind, trying to brainwash him into becoming their new leader.  Bruce and Talia are forced to put their differences aside to rescue their son before his mind can be irrevocably changed.  There is also some disagreement as to whether Ra’s should be saved - Bruce thinks it’s his time to go.  Talia believes that, for all his faults, Ra’s is the only thing that has kept the League from going off kilter until now.  This turns into a long campaign, and during their travels and investigations, they’re forced to face some truths about their history together. 

Anyway once they find Damian, he’s sort of on the line between lost to them and fighting to retain himself.  He’s not responsive to Bruce’s attempts to get through to him because he’s angry at Bruce for being such a neglectful ass... and at first he isn’t responsive to Talia either - instead his rage over her treatment of him during That Morrison Thing is vented and he attacks them both.  Eventually, desperation to get through to her son forces her to break through her own emotional walls and apologize.  She ends up explaining how she never wanted him to die, how it was all talk and he wasn’t meant to be there.  And she didnt want to hurt Damian, she wanted to hurt Bruce, because when she needed him most he left her alone.  At this point, it comes out that she had been tortured and murdered hundreds of times in Death and the Maidens, and it broke her, and he hadn’t even realized there was something wrong with her, he just. Left her there with Nyssa.  But she begs Damian not to be broken, too - she told him once that she had never had a choice, but he did.  And he still does.

This results in Damian finally coming to himself, and we have a family hug.  

Talia initially wants to resurrect her father, but she realizes she has to let him go - centuries of constant lazarus exposure had changed him just as much as it changed her, it was just done in slow motion, and she’s sure the man he originally was would want the thing he became to rest, now.  

At this point we can go in two main directions.

- Talia could take control of the League but start to repurpose it from an assassins group/terrorist organization to a more prosocial organization - this borrows from Arrowverse where Talia recently agreed to help reform the League, but as a League of Heroes this time.  

OR

- They could attempt to dissolve the League, but have someone manage to resurrect Ra’s anyway once they’ve left, perhaps by summoning his spirit into another body or some suck like that.  At which point the League would return mostly to normal.

Either way, Bruce and Talia still have their spark, but they still go their separate ways.  Talia has a lot to do to make up for her actions for the past years, after all, and if we’re doing CURRENT current continuity then Bruce has a girlfriend already anyway.  But even so we leave them in something like their older status quo - their feelings exist, but life keeps them apart... but maybe one day.

From here we branch again, and much of this applies to the Lexcorp idea, as well.

For a behind the scenes hero!Talia: she spends the next few years doing charity work, familiarizing herself with the superheroes and vigilante world as it currently exists, and developing a network of allies.  Eventually, she naturally gravitates toward filling some of the gap left by Oracle and Alfred: she uses her engineering and technical skills for research, networking and ops for the superhero world at large, and her medical training as the medic of the Batfamily. 

For a costumed hero!Talia:

Option 1: She joins Batman’s Outsiders as a redemptive measure, and to remain close to her Beloved and her son.

Option 2: She eventually gets wind that the League (or a splinter, in the case where she took over herself) is behaving in nefarious ways.  She suspects that her father may have returned, but in order to investigate she cannot be recognized.  Therefore, she decides to blend with the costumed crowd by taking on a costumed identity, supposedly as a temporary measure, but in time she realizes that being a proactive hero helps her deal with her guilt, and makes up in part for everything she did while she was suffering lazarus madness.  ...then I’d put her in the Outsiders anyway.

[myaekingheart]

27. Sexual Harassment

read the scarecrow and the bell on ao3

index | from the beginning | < previous | next >

               It was that time of the year when the weather was at its peak—the chill of winter had made way for the impending summer heat, but it was not yet quite so hot that the sun sucked all of the energy out of you. Young adults all over the village took full advantage of this time of the year, trekking out at sundown to bar hop and gamble and carry on in the streets. It was definitely the liveliest season for Konoha’s youth.

               While neither Rei nor Kakashi were necessarily ones for the nightlife, there was little else to do with so much drunken yelling from outside that they shrugged and dropped their introverted pasttimes for the hell of it. Their books wouldn’t miss them for just one night of socialization. More than anything, they were positive the most enjoyment they would get from this was laughing quietly at the drunken idiots stumbling down the street. Neither of them were surprised to find Jiraiya among them.

               “Hey, Kakashi!” he called down the street, a woman on each arm. “Nice to see you out enjoying the nightlife for once” he said as he came nearer. “And looks like you’ve gotten yourself a date, too!”

               “Master Jiraiya, how much have you had to drink tonight?” Kakashi asked cautiously. Jiraiya glanced from one side to the other, surveying the girls on his arms.

               “Apparently not enough!” he then laughed, nudging Kakashi on the shoulder and adding quietly “If you know what I mean.” Kakashi sighed and he was yet again grateful to be wearing a mask so no one could see his cheeks blush in embarrassment. “Here, you two follow me. I want to show you something!” Jiraiya then announced, urging the couple to join him. Rei glanced to her boyfriend with concern. She didn’t know Jiraiya nearly as well as Kakashi did, but she knew enough to understand that this was likely not going to go well.

               The sannin led them to the window of a little antiques shop. Rei recognized it as the one that was run by an old woman her grandmother had known, someone she had grown up with or something. On the exterior display shelf sat a tiny mechanical monkey holding a pair of cymbals. Jiraiya inserted a coin and pressed a button, and the monkey began to bang his instrument to the tune of a peppy old song. “Look at him go!” Jiraiya laughed. “You know, he kind of looks like Orochimaru! I think they have the same nose, huh?”

               Oh my god, Rei thought to herself, glancing at Kakashi with a fake smile pasted on her face. Kakashi sighed and shook his head as his girlfriend buried her face in her hands. Quite frankly, she didn’t particularly want to be associated with an easily amused pervy toad sage. Kakashi thought of the two of them sneaking off for a moment, but then something else captured his attention. His ears honed in to a conversation between two drunken men behind them, laughing and falling all over each other. He felt their eyes land on Rei’s lower back, catching murmurs of terms like “sexy” and “give me a piece of that ass.” He clenced his jaw as he focused all of his attention on their voices, itching to wrap his arm around Rei in a protective manner, an assertion of dominance and ownership.

               For drunk men, they were fast. They fell forward and the one’s hand barely grazed Rei’s ass before Kakashi swooped in and gripped his wrist hard. “I would think twice about what you’re about to do” he said, glaring at both of them. Rei gasped as she turned around, completely unaware of the danger she had been in. “I suggest you both just move along” Kakashi continued, his free hand skating up towards his headband, “I don’t want to have to use this.”

               The two men recognized him immediately and very quickly regretted their decisions. Supposedly from behind, they had a hard time distinguishing his identity, but now it was crystal clear: they had just crossed Kakashi of the Secondhand Sharingan. If they didn’t atone for their mistake, he would surely make them pay. They bowed their heads and apologized profusely before running off, nearly tripping over their own two feet as they went.

               “K-Kakashi, what was that all about?” Rei asked. Her eyes had grown wide with shock and confusion. He turned to face her with a certain breed of frustration and coldness in his eyes.

               “We’re going home” was all he said before taking her hand in his and guiding her back to the apartment complex. I knew we never should’ve done this, he thought to himself. The only way he would ever let a man lay a hand on Rei was if he was dead, and even then he couldn’t guarantee anything. And all the while, Rei was still begging for answers, looking around confusedly, which only seemed to make matters much worse.

               He said nothing the entire journey back, locking the door as she leaned against his desk with arms crossed. “I wish you would just tell me what the fuck is going on” she insisted. “Are you mad at me or something? Because I didn’t do anything wrong.”

               Kakashi exhaled sharply, unable to even look at her. “That’s exactly the problem, you didn’t do anything” he said, voice low.

               “What are you talking about?”

               “Those men were about to assault you and you had no idea” he finally said, voice firm but booming. Rei was taken aback—normally Kakashi was calm and collected, even in battle. This was a version of him she was unfamiliar with, even after all this time. “You should’ve been paying closer attention. I expected better of you as an ANBU Black Ops member.”

               His words stung, a poison kunai straight to the chest. He was right. She should’ve been more aware. She should’ve never let her guard down. “I just…” she stammered. “I just thought, I don’t know…I was with you. I felt safe. I didn’t think I needed to worry so much…”

               “Well one day, I might not be there” Kakashi said. “I need to know I can trust you to keep yourself safe.”

               “Kakashi, what are you trying to say?” Rei asked. “I’ve made it this far without your help, haven’t I? I don’t need you to protect me all the time. I can handle myself.”

               “Tonight proves to me that you can’t” Kakashi growled. He didn’t want to show any sign of being hurt by her words now. He didn’t like to think about those days, all that time he had pushed her away. He knew no matter what, she would always resent him for that, and it made him sick.

               Rolling her eyes, Rei scoffed and muttered, “I’m not a baby, you know. I can handle myself just fine without you.”

               “Well, until you prove that to me, I don’t think I can believe you” he growled back.

               Rei sucked in a deep breath, forcing herself not to cry in front of him. Crying would only make things worse. Crying would only reinforce the fact that she was weak and vulnerable, and negate her claim that she was not, in fact, a baby. “I think I should go” she said quietly. She pushed past him, unlocked the door, stepped out into the hallway. “I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

               It wasn’t until she was safely back in her own apartment that she let herself break down. How could it have possibly come to this? What had become of this god awful night? She curled up in bed and prayed to fall asleep quickly so she wouldn’t have to overthink it.

               Come morning, Kakashi woke up feeling groggy and worn out. He could scarcely sleep, and there was a lump in the pit of his stomach. He considered knocking on Rei’s front door as he stepped into the hallway but restrained himself. She never was one to wake up early, and if he tried to speak with her now it would only make things worse. He pressed his hand against the door, ran his fingers down to graze the knob, and then walked away.

               “So, what is exactly is the problem?” Naru asked, leaning back in her seat. She held her cup of tea casually in one hand, left leg crossed over top of the right.

               Rei blinked. “Naru, I told you” she replied. “Kakashi got his panties in a bunch because apparently I’m not alert enough. I really don’t want to have to go through the whole spiel again.”

               “No, I know all that” Naru replied with dismissive wave of her hand. “I’m not deaf. I just don’t see how any of this is a problem…?”

               Groaning, Rei buried her face in her hands. “My god” she sighed. “It’s a problem because it’s an insult to my ability! The idea of me being unalert…I don’t know, it just made me feel like he was saying I wasn’t good enough. Like I’m some weak, whiny little child.”

               “Well, you’re not exactly disproving the whiny part” Naru laughed. The redhead shot her a death glare. Naru took another sip of her tea, then spread her hands across the table like an entrepreneur about to propose a massive deal. “Listen, I know you’ve got this complex where you always have something to prove but just this once, can you please not act like everyone is against you?”

               Rei crossed her arms and sucked her teeth. “How do you expect me to do that?”

               “For starters, you can stop being such a whiny little bitch about this” Naru suggested. “And most importantly, try to muster up some sense of empathy. Do you have any idea what those guys might have had in mind?”

               She hadn’t thought too deeply about it. She hadn’t wanted to. But now she had no choice. The scenarios began filtering through her head, and they scared her. “Yeah, well, what about it?” Rei fired back. “It’s not like I can’t handle myself.”

               “That doesn’t mean a damn thing, Rei” Naru replied, slamming her fist on the table. Taken aback, Rei brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and coughed into her fist.

               “N-Naru, listen, I’m sorry, just…just don’t cause a scene, alright?” Rei asked quietly.

               Naru chewed her bottom lip and leaned back in her seat. “Do you have any idea why this bugs me so much, Rei?” she asked after a moment of silence. Rei shook her head. “I have been in your position countless times before. I have been sexually harassed more times than I can count on one hand, one time almost even raped. It doesn’t matter how skilled you are. It doesn’t matter where you are, what you’re wearing, nothing. Men don’t care. If they want to take advantage of you, they will. You try to fight but…it only encourages them further. Nowhere is safe anymore. Not even your own village.”

               There was a long stretch of silence as Rei struggled to comprehend what she had just heard. “W-when…?” was all she could finally croak out. Naru shrugged and took another sip of her tea.

               “The most recent was a few months back, on a mission” she replied.

               “Who would do something like that?” Rei asked.

               “You’d be surprised” Naru said. “This is exactly what Chikara-sensei warned us about back then. We should’ve taken her more seriously.”

               “And here I thought she was just drilling extremes into our heads” Rei sighed, taking a swig of her own tea.

               Naru ran a hand through her short blonde hair and shook her head. “Listen, I know you’re probably still pissed, and after everything you’ve been through, I wouldn’t blame you. But for the love of god, do not stay mad at Kakashi. He did what he felt was right by protecting you. I wish I would’ve had someone like that to step in and interfere when I was being targeted.”

               Rei couldn’t stomach heading home that afternoon once her lunch with Naru had ended. She didn’t think she could handle being cooped up in that stuffy apartment, never knowing if and when Kakashi would knock on her door. Instead, she wandered around the village until, come midnight, she found herself downing her fourth sake in a bar. Perhaps alcohol could have cleared out all the bad thoughts, but as she called over the bartender and ordered yet another drink, she realized more than anything it just amplified them. Naru’s words echoed in her head, pounding unrelenting like massive drums.

               She had a fair point. Knowing her own history with sexual harassment made Naru’s stance that much more understandable. And yet a part of her still couldn’t fully come to terms with the idea of Kakashi being quite so overprotective. Had she not proven herself already? She was a part of the ANBU now. She thought that was enough. Apparently not. She took another swig of her drink, then left some money on the bar and headed out. It was getting late, the booze clearly wasn’t helping, and now she just wanted to go someplace quiet and be left alone.

               As she trudged back to her apartment, tipsy and tired, she heard voices echo in the background. There was something familiar about them, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Was it Guy on his way home from a late-night training session? No, these voices weren’t exuberant enough. Maybe Asuma walking Kurenai home? No, not him either. It wasn’t until she passed the antique shop that she fully recognized it. The men from before.

               “Hey, sexy! What are you doing out here all alone? Where’s your boyfriend, huh?” the one asked, and then in a flash he was mere inches from her face, trapping her between himself and the wall.

               “I smell sake on your breath” the other growled. “Looks like someone’s had a little too much to drink.”

               “I’m perfectly sober, thanks” Rei spat, narrowing her eyes at them though her vision was blurry and doubled. She hoped she hid it well enough.

               “We better take you back to our place, just to be safe” the first one replied, skating a gentle hand across her cheek and down her neck.

               “I said I’m fine” Rei insisted. The second man laughed incredulously.

               “She’s feisty!” he commented. Then, turning to his partner, “Guess we’ll have to do things the hard way.”

               “Rei!” a voice shouted from down the street. Before they had time to react, the men lunged forward to seize her. Then the pang of metal glinting in the streetlights, a splash of blood, and they fell to the ground crying in agony. Kakashi blinked from the other end of the road.

               “Told you I was sober” Rei growled, leaning down just close enough to slash them one last time with the kanzashi from her ponytail. “It’s sad, really. So undesirable that you have to harass women just to get laid. What would your mothers think?”

               “R-Rei…” Kakashi stammered, rushing toward her. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

               “Just taking care of some business” she replied, sliding the pin back into her hair.

               “They could’ve hurt you” he replied.

               “Yeah, and I stopped them” Rei said back. “Now they won’t be hurting anyone anymore” she replied, jerking her head down toward the pair. They both held their crotches and panted in pain. “And if they do,” she then added, giving them each one last kick in the pants for good luck, “They’ll know what’s coming.”

               “You should’ve let me handle things” Kakashi replied.

               “From all the way over there?” Rei asked, motioning to the other end of the street. “They would’ve already violated me ten different ways by the time you got over here. I took care of it myself. I’m safe. Isn’t that enough for you?”

                Kakashi heaved a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s more complicated than that” he sighed.

               “Then explain it to me, please” Rei begged, borderline hysterical now. If she let herself be vulnerable, she was a liability and putting herself in danger, and yet if she defended herself, she was still doing something wrong. Either way, she couldn’t fucking win.

               “I can’t afford to lose you!” Kakashi finally exploded. “I don’t like the thought of you being in danger. I can’t stand to lose anyone else. I made a promise when I first met you that I would protect you with my life, and so far I feel like I’ve failed in that so I can’t afford to screw up anymore.”

               Rei blinked, staring back at him dumbfounded. This was a lot of information to take in at once, and she wasn’t totally honest when she said she was sober. Then, finally, she straightened her back and sucked in a deep breath. “Well, I appreciate your concern, but I’m not a child anymore. I’m not helpless.”

               “I’m sorry for ever making you think that was how I felt” Kakashi replied. “But I’m not sorry for how I reacted.” He stepped forward slowly, cupping her cheek in his hand and looking at her with a weak, teary gaze. “You are…very precious to me, Rei. I don’t ever want to lose you, and whether you like it or not, I am going to do everything in my power to make sure I never do.”

[crashdevlin]

Good Things: Part Three

Part One

Part Two

That day in Manitoba started a three week-long texting relationship with the eldest Winchester, which began with a simple 'How's your hunt going?' and slowly evolved to sexts and pictures... and then just stopped. You called and it went to voicemail every time. As the days of silence went by, you went through a cycle of angry, betrayed and worried.

"I know you're retired, Garth. I'm not calling you into a hunt!" You were in the worried part of the cycle and you had started calling every hunter you knew that knew the Winchesters. "I need to know if you've heard from Dean."

"I didn't know you even knew Sam and Dean." Garth mused on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, for a little while now, okay, and I've been trying to get a hold of either of them for weeks and neither are answering their phones."

"Oh, that happens sometimes. They get into-"

"So, that's a 'no', Garth?"

"No. Sorry, y/n. I haven't heard from them in a while."

"Great. Do you have, uh, Jody Mills' number?"

"Yeah. You got a pen?"

Your conversation with Sheriff Mills had gone the same way, but ended with you being given Mary Winchester's number. "Hello?"

"Hi, uh, Mary? It's y/n."

"Oh. Hey."

"I'm trying to get in contact with Dean. Have you heard from him?"

There was a moment of silence followed by, "Castiel didn't call you?"

You swallowed, nervously. "Call me about what?"

She sighed, sending static through the phone. "I think it'd be better coming from Castiel."

"Mary, please. I have spent the last month thinking I did something wrong or Dean was killed or that he just decided he didn't want to waste his time with me! Don't make me wait for the fucking angel!" You exclaimed.

"Y/n... you didn't do anything wrong and they aren't dead... but they are in trouble and we... Castiel and I haven't been able to help them."

"What trouble?" Your voice barely came out.

"You remember how Lucifer was in Vince Vincente?"

"Yes."

"He ended up in President Rooney."

"What?"

"They were arrested after getting Lucifer out of him and black-bagged, sent to some... off-books black site that we can't find. That was... five weeks ago."

Her words hit you with enough force to knock the wind out of you. "How do you know they're still alive? Assault on the president, that's gotta be-"

"Castiel says they are, so I have to believe him."

You swallowed, fighting back tears. "Okay. Thank you... for telling me... Mary."

"The boys will be okay. I know they will."

"Sure." You lost the fight with the tears as you hung up. You went to sleep that night thinking you might have just lost the most amazing man in the world and you never gave him the fair shake he deserved, that you'd been so wrapped in your self-deprecating bullshit that you had lost the opportunity of a lifetime.

You threw yourself into a hunt, immediately. It didn't matter that it might be an entire nest of vampires and you were but a single hunter, you went to Lancaster, Missouri, anyway. You were met with confusion and a bit of anger from the townsfolk. Another 'agent' had been through the town, asking questions, before disappearing on the heels of the the fifth body drop. You easily found the bar that was the overlap between the victims and went to work tracking the monster from a bar stool, which is where you were when Mary Winchester walked in.

"Hey." You started. "Buy you a beer?"

"Sure." She sat down next to you and you nodded at the bartender to get another round of beers. "You here for the hunt?"

"Beats sitting around the house, wallowing."

She nodded. "I've always been a 'kill things instead of cry' kinda woman, too."

"That's what happens when you grow up in the Life. You learn to dissociate from pain... all pain."

"Yeah, Dean told me you were a 'born-and-raised' hunter, like me."

"He told me that you got out... supposedly." You took a drink of your beer. "Tried to do the normal-boring, raise a litter... but this isn't something you can just turn off, not when it's how you were raised, when it's who you are."

"True. Even when I was..." She shook her head and raised her bottle to her lips. "You can take a break but you can never stop. Like you said, it's who we are."

"Wanna work this together?"

"You've already done the legwork, I assume."

"Yes, ma'am. Beardy dude in the corner is our guy. Was gonna let him lead me back to the nest. Always good to have another machete at the party."

"Sounds good to me."

The nest was four vampires strong, but you and Mary took them out in a span of about fifteen minutes, heads rolling off your machete and across the floor like misshapen bowling balls. "Not bad." She said as the two of you walked out of the old shop they'd settled in. Her phone started ringing as the two of you moved to get into her car. "Castiel? Slow... slow down. What?" Her eyes widened as she sat in the driver's seat. "Oh, God. I'll be there."

She hung up and turned to you, looking through the open window. "Get in. The Boys have escaped. They're in Colorado. I'm meeting Castiel in Lebanon. Let's go."

Mary drove like a bat out of Hell. It was nauseating around the curves, how your insides pulled with the force, but you didn't mention it. You were glad for her fast driving, it just meant you'd get to see Dean again sooner. It cut a six hour trip from Missouri to Kansas down to two and a half and it was no time before she was pulling into a parking lot in Lebanon and Castiel was walking up to the passenger window.

"You got here quickly."

"Yep." Mary responded as Castiel got into the backseat. "What do you think we're walking into?" Mary asked.

"I don't know." Castiel answered, honestly. "We may want more backup. Crowley and Rowena?"

"The King of Hell and his mother: the witch?" Mary scoffed.

"Hope we can do better than that." You insisted as Mary buckled her seat belt.

"I may have an idea." Castiel said.

"Good. Seat belt on. I drive fast."

"She's not lying." You confirmed.

~~~~

Mary parked her car on Colorado State Route 34 in front of a black luxury car. You recognized the shorter man in the tan coat before you even got out of the car: Mick Davies, British Men of Letters. He'd been trying to get you to talk to him for months. "Miss y/l/n, a pleasure as always."

"Mr. Davies."

"This is my associate, Mr. Ketch. I don't think you've met." He gestured to his companion, a taller man with tattoos on his hands.

"No. Definitely would've remembered meeting this one." Ketch looked you up and down as Mary stomped around the front of the car to glare at Castiel.

"This is your idea? The people that almost killed my boys, they're gonna be our backup? Suddenly, the demon and his mommy don't look so bad." Mary said, snarkily.

"They helped us with Lucifer." Castiel defended.

"Lucifer? The Lucifer?" Mick asked.

"Yes."

"Wait, so, you're tellin' me what happened in Indianapolis was you took on the bleedin' Devil, himself?" Mick asked.

"Yes." Castiel answered.

"Did you win?" Ketch asked.

Castiel looked from the Brits to you and Mary. "Yes."

The Brits looked at each other, obviously impressed. "Bravo."

"But Sam and Dean were taken. We think we can get them back, but we need... help." Mary said.

"So, we'll help." Mick said.

"Really?" Mary asked.

"Just like that?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Mrs. Winchester... y/n..." Mick stepped forward. "I came to this country to do one thing: Make friends. But you American hunters, you're... you're a different breed than our sort. You're surly, suspicious. You don't play well with others." Mick started.

"Well, that is accurate." Castiel commented. You and Mary gave the angel almost identical bitch faces.

"You don't trust people you don't know, even when they come bearing gifts. Now, I can't help that, but I can help you. And if word were to get out that we did our part to save Same and Dean Winchester, well, that's just good business, innit? And who knows? When all this is over, we might even be friends." Mick turned his gaze to you. "Maybe you'll let me buy you that dinner, finally."

"What's the saying about Brits bearing gifts?" You responded, with a sarcastic smile.

"That's Greeks bearing gifts." Ketch corrected.

"Yeah, but the Greeks left the gift for the gods and the Trojans stole it, whereas the British Empire had a habit of rolling across nations like they were God's gift, stealing resources and killing people. My way makes more sense."

The two men blinked at you as Mary leaned against the hood of her car. "We think Sam and Dean were being held somewhere in the Rocky Mountain National Forest."

"Site 94? It's a government facility, off-books. Shadow ops. One of those places that officially doesn't exist." Ketch said.

"Then how do you know about it?" Mary asked.

"We gather information. It's our job." Mick said.

"They told us to meet them off State Route 34." Cas tried to help.

"Which is a fairly long stretch of road and we don't know where, exactly, they're comin' up for air." You said.

"I'll get our techs to put a satellite over the area." Mick offered.

"You can do that?" You and Mary asked.

"And so much more."

"Do you have any idea what sort of trouble we're walking into?" Ketch asked Castiel.

"No."

Ketch smiled. "Oh, good. I do like a surprise."

It didn't take long for Mick to tell you that the satellite had picked up the brothers in a gunfight with some paramilitary guys in a small cabin and the five of you figured out the best area between the cabin and Route 34 to wait for them as the sun dipped lower and lower. The sound of them stomping through the underbrush turned your attention as they came crashing into the small clearing.

"Sam, Dean." Cas said, relieved.

Both brothers breathed the angel's name and Sam wrapped Cas in a hug. "Mom." Sam breathed as his eyes fell on Mary. He broke away from Castiel and enveloped his mother in a hug.

Dean hugged the angel, next, watching as his brother attacked their mom with love. "Hey, buddy." Dean patted his shoulder and moved to hug Mary.

You tucked your hair behind your ears as they greeted each other with love. You almost felt like you didn't need to be there, that you shouldn't be there, like this was a moment for family and you should've stayed at the car with the British Men of Letters. You were contemplating sinking backward into the trees, circling back around to the Brits' Bentley and Mary's car, when Dean pulled away from Mary and pulled you to him.

He was clearly exhausted, and he smelled like sweat, gunpowder and mud, but he held you to his chest like he never wanted to let you go and it was everything your heart needed in that moment. "I'm so happy you're here, y/n. So glad Cas called you."

"Actually, Dean, I didn't have y/n's number."

"I happened to be with y/n when Castiel called me." Mary said, gesturing through the woods toward where the car was parked. Dean didn't want to let you go, you could tell, but he pulled out of the embrace and took your hand in his as you started toward the road. "This girl can hunt."

"Mom, how did y'all even find us?" Sam asked, as the group emerged from the wood line.

"They helped." She nodded at Mick and Ketch, leaning against the hood of their car.

"Hello, lads." Mick greeted.

"They have a thermal imaging satellite that saw you... from space." Cas' words were stilted, like he wasn't sure he was saying the right thing, and Sam and Dean both looked confused.

"Well, we don't have one, just borrowed it for a bit. Friends in all the right places." Mick corrected.

"Well, I guess this is where we're supposed to say 'thank you'." Dean stiffened and you squeezed his hand.

"No need. Happy to be of service." Mick said.

"Again." Ketch stressed.

"Okay, then. We should get." Sam said, gesturing at the trees. "The people we left, they'll call for backup any second."

"Uh, you left survivors?" Ketch asked.

"Of course they did." You answered, immediately, as Sam squinted at Ketch and nodded.

"They were soldiers, just doin' what they were told." Dean responded, like he was talking to a child.

"Still... a bit unprofessional." Ketch continued.

"What profession do you think you're in, Mr. Ketch?" You asked, pulling away from Dean's side and stepping closer to the Bentley. "We're good people. Good people don't kill unless they have to. Especially other people."

"We'll handle it. Let's get." Sam said as Dean pulled your arm until you were back to his side and the two of you headed for the back seat of the car.

Dean pulled you into his lap as Mary pulled off and headed North. "Shoulda called you before we went up against Lucifer... how long were you in the dark?" He whispered. He hugged you to him, running one of his hands down your back and sweeping the other up and down your thigh.

"I got a hold of Mary a week ago."

"Shit, y/n. I'm sorry. I didn't tell you because I knew you'd want to help if you knew we were going up against-"

"Satan? Of course I would've." You turned to look at him better. "You offer me a chance at epic status and then you go against Lucifer and you freeze me out?"

"I couldn't even imagine sending you into a room with Lucifer. The thought of what he could have done to you... I tried to call, but I couldn't." He shook his head.

"Well, I suppose not hearing from you, not knowing what the hell happened..." You smiled softly and ran your thumb across his cheek to rub away a smudge of dirt. "That's not nearly as bad as being murdered by Lucifer or locked up in Site 94."

"God, you're understanding." He said under his breath, before twisting your body on his lap so that you were straddling him, facing him. He cupped your chin between his hands and looked deeply into your eyes. "I hope you're still this understanding at midnight."

"What does that mean?" You and Castiel asked, instantly worried.

Dean shook his head, looking from your face to the clock on the GPS and back. "Look, what I need you to know right now, y/n, is that I thought about you every day I was in there. I dreamed of your face, your smile. Those pictures you sent me by your pool..." He smiled, softly, tears brimming around his lashes. "I need you to know that... you're my good thing, too."

"Dean, what-"

He didn't answer, pulling your head forward to lock his lips against yours. There was no tongue, no heat, in the kiss. It was every bit of sweetness and care that you'd imagined your first kiss with him might carry, but there was an undercurrent of loss and sadness, like it might be the last kiss, as well. He didn't pull away until the radio spontaneously turned on, sending static through the car as the engine died. "It's time." Sam said from the front seat as the car rolled to a stop on a small bridge over Timber Creek.

You all got out of the car and stepped around the car. "What's happening?" Mary asked. Your eyes were stuck on Dean's face.

"Yeah, Dean." A voice called from the middle of the bridge. You turned to see a beautiful woman, wearing a brown leather jacket and a black t-shirt, arms crossed over her chest. "Sup?"

"Billie?" Mary asked.

"Who?" You immediately snapped.

"The reaper?" Cas' question answered your own.

"I don't understand." Mary turned to look at her boys.

"Mom... that place... there was only one way we were getting out of there, and that wasn't breathing." Dean responded. You shook your head. You didn't understand. Well, you did, but you didn't want to. "So I made a call."

"Dean talked with her and then Billie came to see me. And we made a deal. We'd get to die and come back one more time, but in exchange..." Sam started. He was having a hard time looking at Mary and Castiel.

"Come midnight, a Winchester goes bye-bye. Like, permanently." The reaper said, smugly, as Mary stepped right in front of her sons. You sat against the hood of the car, hand over your mouth. No wonder Dean had kissed you like that. "And that is something I've been looking forward to for a long time."

"Why would you-"

Dean cut his mother off. "We were already dead. Being locked in that cell with nothing... I've been to Hell. This was worse."

"At least this way, one of us gets to keep fighting." Sam reasoned.

"You don't have to do this." You flinched at the harshness of the angel's voice.

"Yeah, they do. We made a pact, bound in blood. You break that, there's consequences on a cosmic scale. So, who's it gonna be?"

Dean was about to volunteer. If the kiss hadn't tipped you off, the way he looked at Sam would have, but before he could do what he was planning, Mary turned to face the reaper, pulling her gun from her waistband. "Me."

"Mom." Dean said. "Mom."

"No." Sam said. "No."

Billie flung the brothers backward. "You said, come midnight a Winchester dies? I'm a Winchester." Mary explained.

"Works for me." Billie responded.

Mary cocked her gun and pressed the barrel to her temple as you squeezed your eyes shut and the brothers shouted at her to stop. "I love you." She sniffled.

The sound of piercing flesh drove you to open your eyes to the vision of Billie with an angel blade through her chest, just in time for the blinding light of her dying to make you squeeze them shut again. Castiel looked fairly shocked that he'd killed Billie, too, as Sam and Dean got to their feet. "Cas, what have you done?" Dean asked, looking at the body.

"What had to be done. You know this world, this sad, doomed little world, it needs you. It needs every last Winchester it can get, and I will not let you die. I won't let any of you die. And I won't let you sacrifice yourselves. You mean too much to me, to everything." You were certain you'd never seen an angel cry, but Castiel was right there on the edge of it. "Yeah, you made a deal. You made a stupid deal and I broke it. You're welcome."

There was a long moment of silence before you pushed away from the car and launched yourself at Dean. The slap you administered to his dirty cheek made your right hand hurt. "You absolute-" You let your left hand swing. "-idiot! We could have found you! You didn't have to do this!" You went for another slap with your right hand, but Dean caught it.

"Ow." Dean said, pointedly, moving his jaw. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?! You were gonna kill yourself!"

"We hadn't decided which of us-" Sam started.

"Dean had! Dean knew exactly which one of you was gonna bite that bullet." Dean looked down, a confirmation of your theory. "You were going to have us watch you die!"

"Because I had to! And it's not like it'd be a first, y/n. Everyone here, except you, has died. Most of us in triplicate." He dropped your wrist and stepped back. "And when I made that decision, I didn't know you and Mom were gonna be here. I thought it was just gonna be Cas."

"And that's better? That you thought only your best friend was gonna have to see it, that's better?!" You were screeching.

"Yes! I thought Cas would take it better than either of the women in my life! Obviously I was wrong." Dean argued.

"Don't say it like that, like he made some hysterical decision based in emotion. He made the rational decision. He was cool as a cucumber when he decided to save your mom from having to clean up your fucking mess! She was also super calm in her decision. The only one acting like a woman here is me and that's because I'm so pissed off I can't-" You cut yourself off and turned to Mary. "Just drop me in Loveland. I'll find my own way back to my car."

"Oh, come on, y/n! You shouldn't-" Dean started, stepping forward.

"Look, I need a fair amount of time and several bottles of wine to process what just happened, so you're gonna get in the back seat with brother and the angel and you're gonna keep your mouth shut." You demanded.

Dean sneered as he got in the back seat, allowing the smaller-framed Castiel take the middle as you got into the front seat. You'd been driving in silence a few minutes when Mary looked at you. "You know, I could get you back to Missouri, y/n. It wouldn't be-"

"Loveland's fine." You said, biting your thumbnail.

Dean made a huffy, displeased sound, but you ignored it. You recognized that sacrifice wasn't a question for the Winchesters. If it saved the other, or saved the world, the brothers would die for it. Seems they got that from Mary.

You knew sacrifice was a Winchester staple, but you hadn't expected to have to deal with it, yet. To have to confront the reality that Dean was always going to throw himself on a sword at a moment's notice to save Sam or the world... you weren't sure you were okay with that.

[summerphonic-essays]

Dual Op-eds: SEAWORLD

For these two essays we had to write a 750-word op-ed, or argument, for a hot topic we’re very passionate about, so I chose SeaWorld. Afterwards, we had to write an op-ed for the counter-argument. I think both of my essays turned out great and neither is less persuasive than the other. If you would like any more information about my personal views or context, feel free to send me a message!

Be Their Voice: Anti-Seaworld

Orcas deserve to be free in their natural environment, not swimming around in a bathtub sized enclosure. No human would enjoy or volunteer to live in a cage for the rest of their life doing tricks for saltine crackers. But that is the fate of the orcas and the other animals in Seaworld’s care. We all need to work together and follow PETA’s (The People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) initiative to release these captive whales into their rightful home.

Certainly everyone has seen the news stories of whales dying at Seaworld, and trainers dying as a result of orca captivity. In July, a whale calf passed away from pneumonia, and her death was just another example of Seaworld’s neglect for their animals. It is not rescue when you take animals from their homes, then stick them in performances doing unnatural behaviors like flips and belly-slides, to make a profit off of them. There have been a multitude of deaths. By now we should realize that animals are not our toys and need to be treated with respect.

In the wild, orcas live in pods their whole lives (with some exceptions) and are top predators in each and every ocean. Their dorsal fins stand tall - sometimes up to 6 feet tall - they live an average of 30 to 50 years, and they have an endless supply of food. In captivity, orca calves are taken from their mothers and many times moved to other parks. Pods are manufactured and often don’t get along as well as Seaworld would like the public to believe. You can see this if you examine any one of the whales. They are covered in injuries from their enclosure and rakes from fighting with other whales.

For instance, Trua, a whale at Seaworld Orlando, lived the majority of his life keeping his grandfather Tilikum company (before Tili’s passing earlier this year) because the dominant females, which made up two-thirds of their pod, would bully Tilikum into isolation.

“Trainers reported that Tilikum’s rake marks have been so severe at times that as he swam, blood would trail behind him. As a result, he would be held out of shows for days to heal.” (Dr. Heather Rally, SeaworldOfHurt)  

The majority of the whales also have collapsed dorsal fins, attributable to their lesser quality of life living in shallow tanks where gravity affects their fins in an uncomfortable way. Their teeth are drilled at young ages, and if they aren’t they become constantly infected from the whales boredom chewing on the sides of their tiny tanks (Jett & Ventre, Decoded Science). The average age of orcas who have died at Seaworld is 12 (Carroll & Jacobson, Politifact), indisputably lower than that of wild orcas, and one factor that plays into this is lack of food. Seaworld’s whales are forced to perform and if they don’t comply, they don’t receive food that day (David Kirby, Death at Seaworld). These whales did nothing wrong but are starving, depressed, and under constant abuse from greedy humans.

In 2013, a documentary entitled Blackfish was released that exposed Seaworld’s practices for what they really are. It shows the gruesome live footage of orcas being torn from their families to be put on display at Seaworld. Trainers who formerly worked at Seaworld provided horror stories of what it was like to work there, and the truth behind why they left which the park was trying to keep under wraps. Now, Seaworld’s name lives in controversy and receives backlash which is a step forward towards freedom for all their captive animals.

I’d prefer to see all animals living in their rightful wild homes with all the freedom they deserve, and for us humans to leave them alone. We have such technology now that we don’t need animals in captivity anywhere to learn about their behavior - we can learn by observing them in the wild and conducting research which doesn’t infringe on their lives or safety. If you would like to get involved, do your own research and protest the mistreatment of all animals. One of the strongest groups working toward an ethical future for animals is PETA, who uses their voice to enact change. They hold protests often you could join. Animals like the orcas at seaworld can’t talk, so it is our responsibility to be their voice and advocate for the rights we’ve deprived them of, because only we have the power to unite and most importantly, to make this right.

Seaworld Cares: Pro-Seaworld

People rarely do their own research, especially about the environment and animals. We are a generation of instantaneous news - of recycling and bandwagoning opinions perpetuated by social media, despite how harmful they may be. That being said, Seaworld is a vital company whose work helps animals worldwide. Shutting them down would have unspeakable implications on not only animals in their care, but all the wild animals that we as a society are responsible for putting in danger in the first place.

On July 24th 2017, the last whale calf to ever be born as a part of SeaWorld’s breeding program passed away from suspected pneumonia. Anti-captivity activists and PETA, the supposed People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, are busy at work exploiting the  tragedy for their own personal gains and agenda. They paint their picket signs and shout “free the whales!” as if that isn’t a death sentence for these animals, for a multitude of reasons. Consider what would occur if you released your domestic cat into the forest yelling “Be free!” Your cat has no knowledge of the wild so 1. It would question why it had been abandoned and 2. It would be mauled to death by wild forest animals.

People also claim that animals are being forced to do “tricks” and food is withheld if they don’t, but that is falsified information. Behaviors are voluntary, and based on natural behaviours of orcas such as breaching or spyhopping, which have been shaped through positive reinforcement and incorporated into a “performance”. (Positive Reinforcement Training as an Enrichment Strategy, Active Environments)  And even so, due to pressures from the public, Seaworld is phasing out performance-based shows for more education-based ones. When some people see orca shows they may say that the whales didn’t want to perform those behaviors. But, if a parrot recites your “Polly want a cracker?” statement you wouldn’t accuse it of not wanting to do so. That’s the natural behavior of parrots, it’s just been shaped and reinforced!

Many people focus solely on the orcas at Seaworld, disregarding the big picture, simply because incidents with orcas have been on the news recently. The death of Dawn Brancheau, a Seaworld trainer, in 2010 and the whale responsible, Tilikum, were the focus of supposedly factual documentary “Blackfish”, which has amassed a cult following. And to add to this, Tilikum passed away earlier this year due to pneumonia, which sparked even more controversy.

Although SeaworldCares, a division of Seaworld, released a 32-page-document that analyzes the false information in the  movie, “Blackfish” is still held as truth by PETA and others who protest Seaworld. Many of whom, as I touched on above, only protest Seaworld and its orcas with no regard for all the good Seaworld does, or how animals in need of help would suffer and die without Seaworld. They ignore the inspiration/education the park provides with opinions based on one “documentary”. Because apparently watching and citing one “documentary” makes you an expert. Tim Binder, an animal care specialist at Shedd, commented “The film is not fully accurate, and it portrays events that happened 30 years ago as contemporary. The unfortunate thing is that people are taking that film at face value.”

To expand, Seaworld is the first company called to rescue, rehabilitate, and release animals in danger worldwide. Recently, Seaworld reached a milestone of 30,000 rescues! That’s beyond one rescue every day for over 50 years, and more than 4 rescues each day since 2010 alone. (30,000 Rescues, SeaworldCares) The majority of the rescued animals aforementioned are in danger because of our actions - whether it be littering, boat accidents, habitat loss, illegal hunting, etc. Due to Seaworld Parks success, they have the facilities, tools, and reach to provide medical care, a safe haven for animals who the government deems unreleasable, and educate people about how we’re harming our oceans and the animals that call them home.

It would be in Seaworld’s best interest to speak out about what they do for wild animals around the world, how they care for their animals, and the success of their rescue program in a very public way. This would help combat and right all the negative and/or false media. It is time for people to cease their habit of blindly supporting the group that garners the most attention, and I hope we begin to we recognize the damage we’ve caused and adjust our actions for a better future.

[its-a-queer-thing]

Since they missed it...

Okay guys so today I found the doozie of all posts about Gallavich and it is negative so here is a doozy of a rebuttal. 

Ironically, I'm doing this new weekly thing and it's going to be called “In Case You Missed It” and OP, you definitely missed it. So I'm going to go through and just explain briefly why these statements are inaccurate.

literally constantly abuse each other

*while beating him up* “you love me, and you’re gay” ???? imagine thinking that’s how you heal internalized homophobia wow ian can choke

they’re just??? not fit for each other at all??

like mickey is dangerous af to be in a relationship or even near with how does that work for someone who’s bipolar

pretty sure mickey is bi (??), and ian is canonically biphobic like that’s so bad

they had so much potential???? like if they changed A Lot they could’ve been great

that last part of s7 was,,,kinda unnecessary lmao

 So the only instances of true abuse that we see in this would be their first meeting/the fight before they have sex for the first time, Mickey’s punching Ian in season 3, and Ian punching Mickey is season 5 (so quite inconsistent and usually with an explanation; not to excuse it but to understand it). I've already posted my first argument for their first meeting, so I'm not going to go too deep into it, but what I will reiterate is people tend to forget that Mickey was chasing after Ian not because he just wanted to... he didn't just follow him around trying to beat him up because he didn't like his face or wanted his lunch money like a playground bully; he was trying to punish him supposedly raping his sister. Mandy falsely told Mickey that Ian raped her! So what's he going to do? Well I know plenty of people in real life who are going to go after him and do what they can to fuck him up, so I would probably say that his reaction is a normal one. Then they fight before they have sex for the first time a few episodes later. Let’s all remember what just happened: Mickey stole a gun Kash pulled on him and Ian went to the Milkovich house while everyone was asleep with a tire iron in hand to get it back. Obviously, Mickey fights back. We can blame his response on his being a thug and having a background which teaches him to be too proud to just hand the gun over quietly, or even blame the patriarchy for his male ego which tells him to teach the scrappy kid a lesson about sneaking into his house to try to take something from him (not an unreasonable reaction from anyone honestly. I know lots of people who probably would have responded similarly). Then they have consensual sex. Mickey gives the gun back. 

The only thing I can think OP is referring to about abuse up until the punches in 3x09 is how Mickey deflects any attempts from Ian to be intimate and establish an emotional connection. Let’s remember what is going on in Mickey’s world: He has a homophobic father, Ian has already established that being gay in his neighborhood is just begging for fagbashing, and Mickey probably literally hates himself for being attracted to men despite the fact that he has been taught to beat up gay people rather than be gay himself. OF COURSE he doesn’t want to show Ian any emotional connection! If there’s no emotional connection, it’s just sex and remember: “Liking what I like don’t make me a bitch.” He’s basically reduced his sexuality to a kink and refused to allow any of it to externally mean anything to him, even when it’s PAINFULLY clear that Ian matters to him. And even though he was trying to keep his distance, his jealousy makes it all too clear (to most) that Mickey cares and Ian sees right through it! That’s why he dangles Ned in Mickey’s face to show him what he wants and that Mickey COULD be in this position if he’d just open up. Mickey kisses Ian when Ian reveals that’s what he wants, he tries to spend as much time with Ian as possible... I just don’t know how I can make it any clearer that Mickey has been head over heels for this boy since practically day one.

So now let’s move on to the punch in 3x09. HAVE WE FORGOTTEN THAT MICKEY WAS JUST RAPED AT GUNPOINT AND NOW IAN IS COMING INTO MICKEY’S SPACE TRYING TO PUSH HIM!?!??!?!?! Mickey is showing classic signs of rape trauma syndrome and here Ian is trying to push him into just letting everything go back to the way things were, and to Mickey that is too painful at this point. He can’t look at Ian because if Ian had been killed by Terry that would have been his fault. Because he was just raped because of his relationship with Ian. Because despite all of that he still loves Ian and is even more determined not to admit it because the wounds haven’t even completely scabbed or scarred over yet! He tries to distance himself emotionally and physically from Ian but Ian keeps following him and won’t let up! So, he shuts him up. I’m not saying it’s okay, but I am urging anyone to look at this situation remembering Mickey’s perspective and even try to tell me that they wouldn’t have done what Mickey did. I probably would have. Is it okay? No. But it is a fight-or-flight reflex at this point. Flight wasn’t working, so he fought. 

As for Ian, I doubt he thought this would cure Mickey’s internalized homophobia by verbalizing what Mickey is trying to deny to himself. I just think Ian was desperate to make a point and get through to Mickey. Why? Because he’s in love with Mickey and knows Mickey returns the feeling but refuses to acknowledge that. Can you even imagine how badly that hurts?! Ian was just trying to get through to him because let’s be honest, Ian’s kind of invisible with the Gallaghers. That’s why he’s so attached to older men that give him (negative and pervy) attention and to Mickey, his best friend and someone who is actually good for him. When he’s with Mickey, he has someone to talk to, be himself with, be with someone his own age AND at least he isn’t fucking 40 year old men!!

 Then things are great between them (and I mean effing GREAT!!!) until 5x10 when Ian punches Mickey. Now in this case, Ian is feeling backed into a wall because he’s feeling coddled and like he’s losing his autonomy because of the disorder and doesn’t like it. All Mickey was trying to do was prove to Ian that nothing was going to change, and sadly he went the complete opposite direction with it. Granted, this isn’t a very good excuse either, but I do understand it! Though I will NEVER condone domestic violence in any form, the fight they had on the baseball field I think was a much needed release of pent up frustration they each had towards each other from everything going on in season 5. And even if someone were to consider these things domestic violence, let’s talk about “consistent.” Three physical altercations over the course of 7 seasons?? Consistent? M’kay.

So... what part of their relationship makes them not good for each other? And when is Mickey dangerous for Ian? The part where they give each other someone to confide in and trust? The part where neither of them judges the other for literally ANYTHING and will do just about anything to help the other? The part where Mickey did literally everything to help Ian with his bipolar from trying to keep him from being labeled crazy at a mental institution (which he feels SO guilty for when it backfires, let’s remember) to doing his research to make Ian’s transition into his meds as easy as possible so they can get back to their normal routine, which he knows they both want. Was Mickey dangerous when he tracked Ian’s ass all over southside looking for him and brought him home to a jealous wife (his rapist) after discovering him in a pile of ice? When he told Ian that it was fine if he didn’t want to see him but to go home because his family is worried about him, even though it’s clear from the number of times Mickey asked about Ian in the beginning of the season that he wants him back in his life probably more than anything? Was he dangerous when he defended Ian against perverts? When he refused to allow Svetlana to kick Ian out after the diagnosis? When instead of breaking up with Ian (or even lashing out in any way really) for cheating he recognizes this as the final straw to show that Ian is sick and needs help? When he encourages Ian to get help? When he resorts to asking for help when Ian is bedridden? I can’t even take these points seriously because it’s abundantly clear OP only watched season 1 and MAYBE two. 

Mickey is not bi. Gay men are capable of having sex with women but it’s usually harder to accomplish because they are not attracted to women as they are men. Mickey had sex with women (we assume multiple?) to assert his straightness but we don’t know to what degree he did so successfully. For all we know that afternoon with Angie Zago ended the same way it ended with that random girl from 5x12 in which they had been going at it for like an hour and things still weren’t working out. Trust, Mickey is gay not bi. I think you’d be shocked by the number of gay men who say they are capable of having sex with women, but DEFINITELY prefer men.

As to Ian being biphobic, that is a load of horseshit. If anything, he may be uneducated on the subject, and now he’s going to be even more confused because Caleb fucked it all up. If people are seriously upset at Ian for being angry at Caleb for trying to say gay men can have sex with women and are still gay... I don’t even know what to say. GAY men CAN have sex with women but won’t want to because they are sexually attracted to men. BI men are attracted to men and women and CALEB was not representing bisexuality. Caleb is a bi man who refuses to acknowledge his bisexuality because he doesn’t recognize bisexuality as a thing, so tries to say all gay men are also attracted to women too to a certain degree (which Ian then sets out to discover if it’s true or not and finds out it’s not). Caleb is a horrible bi representative. Bi people don’t go out and cheat on their partner just because they are in a “straight” relationship and so feel they can go have sex with someone of the same sex or vice versa with a “gay” relationship. If a bi person wants to have sex with someone else, they should do what any other sexual preferenced person does and TALK TO THEIR PARTNER BEFORE STICKING ANYTHING ANYWHERE WITH ANYONE ELSE! Had Caleb talked to Ian about it, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. The fact is, Caleb is a cheater and Ian did give women an honest try and discovered (again) that he himself is 100% gay. Too many people confuse bisexuality with polyamory and while there is nothing wrong with polyamory the fact is they are not the same, and I will forever resent Caleb for further mixing up the two for people who don’t know better. (BTW, I am a bi woman in a f/f relationship so don’t even try to fight me on this one).

HOW COULD THEY HAVE CHANGED ANY MORE THAN THEY ALREADY DID?! Mickey literally went from “Kiss me and I’ll cut your fuckin’ tongue out” to “C’mere.” From “What do you think we are boyfriend and girlfriend?” to nonchalantly referring to himself as Ian’s boyfriend/partner/lover/family. Went from distancing himself from Ian to openly admitting to missing him and worrying about him. Saying that they had potential if only they’d changed more after all of the fucking development they had is a slap in their beautiful faces. Those young men changed so much for each other and did so much for each other and honestly expecting more out of either of them is literally not paying attention.

All of season 6 and 7 was unnecessary... Moving on.

So, OP, I dedicate my series “In Case You Missed It” to you and people who feel similarly. I sincerely hope you read the masterpost and go back to watch the series in its entirety and this time actually pay attention. In my first post I mention that basically all of the characters in Shameless are unreliable narrators and that’s because in Shameless just about every character has something they are hiding from others around them and themselves. So the brilliance of Shameless comes from the actors who show the audience how the character is really feeling with their eyes and their actions rather than their words.

I have officially spent too much time shutting this bullshit down and I’m getting a much needed glass of wine.

Cheers!