#most of the time it’s just regarded as Evil and left at that but
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swordmaid · 3 months ago
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having sm thoughts about drow culture and menzo (or how I interpret it at least) and hhhhrrm there’s so much potential in there it’s such a shame that they’re just written off as the place with evil women bc dissecting it is sooooo interesting. to me…!
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synthetic-sonata · 1 day ago
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really awesome day to think everythings going alright and then you wake up and get hit in the face twice in a row
#vent#why am i suddenly the worst person to exist to everyone again for having bpd and complex emotions. 2023s coming back in a new way#like oh wow Have you ever thoguht of how Aria Feels. Have you ever thought to fucking talk to me about this . god.#this specific group of people keeps making me miserable and then complains about me being miserable about it. like yea. bc that makes sense#maybe i shouldve left all of you huh. maybe i shouldve done that. i need to be the one with agency over my emotions for fucking once.#everyone walks all over me and expects it to do nothing. keeping my fears in check and keeping my confirmation biases very much there.#lua if you see this that was entirely fucking unwarranted. im not some fucking evil person. i just have BPD. we tried.#i dont like venting to you for every single little thing either and it makes me miserable too! it wouldve been nice if you said that first.#all of it made me miserable but thats all we ever fucking talked about.#i really fucking tried just to get kicked down and spit at again for something so stupid and then the remaining 3 also left again.#what am i supposed to do. what do you want me to do.#i genuinely tried. i always wanted to try but just got left with questions and unexplainable emotions. and now everythings like this again#no explanations. nothing to give me any benefit of the doubt. just no youre evil and awful for this thing that we all also do but#were all going to blame YOU for not being honest about your emotions. and then i start being very open about my emotions#and people hate that too. literally what do you fucking want from me anymore. have i been anything other than a strawman to any of you#just an ideal to chase . just whatever you want to form me into ?#i am not a saint and never claim to be or claim to be the best or even most reasonable opinion. but you should all maybe evaluate that your#extraordinarily comically bad at anything regarding this. better at communicating my fucking ass.#i dont want to be at either of you twos fucking whims anymore. i dont even want to be at my own.#leave me the hell alone. observe me at a distance. just dont fucking talk to me until you have something better to say.#i did not need that. it is unfair to me. not now. not any time. not near my birthday not near new years. i did not need this suddenly today#because people dont communicate anything to me. and then expect me to be fine to be slapped in the face with it like its expected.#you people fucking suck.#i feel abused by fucking everyone. i am not a real person to any of you and never will be. nobody cared about my personhood#and you know what. im fine with that. because neither of you are here anymore.#literally i am mentally not built for people who made me miserable then blaming me for my misery . or the most stupid friendgroup drama of#the century i am built for playing touys and having fun Fuck u all forever get out of my life FOREVER !#itll probably come back again and then ill be mentally susceptible to this bullshit again but for now literally just . fuck off.#i dont want to be in your ouroboros ( lol ) of endless misery feedback loop bullshit anymore#like woww i have problems but Wow. Its almost like you two made it worse? Idk! Just a thought.
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gghostwriter · 2 months ago
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Whispered Truths
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Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Summary: Your weekly reading club with boyfriend, Spencer Reid, has never been as sweet and life-changing as this night Trope: Fluff! Just fluff! w.c: 0.8k a/n: This is actually a request from @bloodredrubyrose and I really liked how this came out. I also used my favorite piece of fiction here as a prop so I hope you like it! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! 💗 masterlist
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Couples, no matter how new or old, tend to create personalized dates as a way to strengthen the relationship. Some go on hikes together, some go on travels, while some stay in the comfort of their homes��under a blanket with a chosen book on hand.
You and Spencer definitely fall under the latter category. It was quite obvious from the first meeting that literature would be one of the strongest bonding agents between you and him. After all, it was how you were brought together—crashing into one another at the library with books and miscellaneous items scattered on the tiled floor. A few shy glances and bewitching dates later, you found yourself spending your Saturday nights in the presence of your boyfriend of six months, hosting an exclusive reading club with just two members, you and him.
“I never thought of it that way,” your left hand paving an aimless path through Spencer’s curly hair while the other held the book up high.
The pitter patters of the rain outside softly echoed through the walls. You were propped up on the loveseat sofa, his head resting on your lap as he looked upwards in question in regards to your statement.
“Never thought of which?” His voice low and soft, striking a resemblance to how he gazed at you oh so lovingly. As if you were the most riveting piece if art he had ever laid his eyes upon.
“How water played a big symbol throughout the whole book. It was really focused on during the first chapters but I—I just never quite connected the dots,” you clarified, bring the book to a close.
It was your choice for the week, East of Eden by John Steinbeck—a modern classic and had been your favorite work of literature since high school. Spencer had lent his copy to you last week and you vice versa—both turning brown from age, pages about to fall apart from its binding, annotations scribbled on the margins and any lengthy self reflections written on various notebook pages sandwiched in between.
“Your explanation on the empty pages at the end—how water is capable of bringing both life and death. Water being essential for the crops but at the same time, drowned victims. It’s such a poignant note that I think I just fell more in love with Steinbeck’s writing,” you added. “It also made me realize how water in his novel represents the dual capacity of the human soul for good and evil. How we are all filled with conundrums and contradictions and what makes us different from the other species on Earth is our ability to choose whether we are good or evil—” Spencer had sat up and leaned in, interrupting your musings. “—what?” You breathed out as his lips hovered on yours.
The once cozy atmosphere quickly charged with tension and desire that seemed to ooze out of Spencer. There was little space in between and you had no doubt that from the outside looking in, it looked like he was kissing you but he was not, rather a sliver of air was still given space to pass through. So close but so far.
You studied his features up close. How his long lashes fluttered like butterfly wings beating against the wind as his molten, darkened, hazel eyes flickered between your lips and eyes. How his nose lightly caressed yours in an endless Eskimo kiss. How his cheeks stained into a lighter shade of red. And how his pink tongue peeked out to wet his pillowy lips. 
“I’m in love with you,” he whispered as if it was some kind of national secret that he now felt right to expose.
Your breath caught in your throat. This was the first time he had said it. His love for you had been conveyed with every touch, with every action, and with every silence but this was the first time he had put it into words.
His lips caressed yours—the pressure almost non-existent. A ghost of a kiss to gauge your reaction and consent.
“I love you,” he repeated a little louder this time, eyes locking into the very depths of your soul. “You and your mind have enchanted me since the beginning—so beautiful, so captivating.”
The butterflies set free in your stomach caused you to viscerally shiver in reaction.
“I love you too, Spencer.”
A smile graced his face and it was bright and as blinding as the sun, like it had finally decided to stop hiding behind the clouds and show itself in all of its glory.
He leaned in once more. The pressure from his lips now heavier and headier, trying to stamp his everlasting mark on you and in between all these kisses were whispers of his utter devotion and adoration until there was no more space—until you both became one on his loveseat sofa.
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Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
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sp4ceboo · 7 months ago
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Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?: Feyd-Rautha x Reader
A/N: ty taylor swift i attempted to base this fic on your song but then i divulged as normal
tw: 18+, smut, p in v, inkpie, oral (both recieving), sub feyd by which i mean feyd is DOMMED, spit, degradation + praise, one spank kinda, swearing, lil bit of crying, mention of evil baron activities so sa + pedophilia, tiny mention of cheating but none actually happens, lmk if there's anything else bc lbr there probably is i just forgot it
wc: 3.9k
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Feyd-Rautha has gravely underestimated you.
It is true that you are not strong in terms of Harkonnen definitions, but you expected a man destined to father the Kwisatz Haderach to be able to see past that. What was that the Bene Gesserit were saying about superior genetics? You don’t see even a glimpse of that in his frosty gaze when he regards you - he looks at you as if you’re a delicate vase that may shatter in the lightest of breezes. He thinks he needs to fear breaking you.
He misses how you miss nothing.
You are not Bene Gesserit; you are merely one of their pawns, a genetic machination produced from centuries of manipulations and deceptions, but you can read a man better than the majority of their number.
The seething jealousy in the clenching off Glossu Rabban’s fists is like a monster sinking its venom laced fangs into his heart: starkly evident to you - as evident as the barely repressed, parasitic fear of inadequacy that lurks like a second beast within the first. Just the same, the gazes the Baron sends your husband do not escape you. Nor does the caged, wild look that washes over him whenever you leave his uncle’s chambers: the look of a man who inside is still a boy, relief washing over him that he has left unscathed and untouched for another time.
Even more nuanced than that, you see the vulnerability within Feyd-Rautha. He craves to be loved, the way he should have been as a child, when instead he was desired; all this at an age where the most he should have been doing was playing with carved wooden toys at his parent’s feet.
He believes no one can see the last, soft sliver of his heart that he’s fought to preserve, that wants nothing but to have someone to be vulnerable with, just because he’s buried it so deep inside of him that sometimes even he doesn’t think it’s there any more.
But you see it.
You see beneath it too, to a place that he himself is not fully aware of. A place where he hates who he has become - a wild, savage creature, bleeding from wounds that do not seem to close up, slipping in its own blood when no one can see.
It’s from here, from this place, that the urge to preserve you somehow originates. He thinks you are a flower whose petals will easily be crushed in his heavy, calloused hands, and he is wrong; in a strange way it endears you to him, that he believes that he is too rough to hold you. You do not think it is quite love - not yet, at least, it is only the third month of your marriage - but when you see him fighting to not be the beast that he is before you in an effort to spare you, something that is not just pity stirs in your heart.
You can hear him now, pacing, cursing under his breath in the antechambers. Sometimes he sleeps there, on the narrow sofa, and you’ve come to realise it is those nights when he wants you most. Aside from your wedding night, he has made no other attempts to produce an heir, and you find his restraint valiant, but stupid.
He could try as hard as he liked; he would not get anywhere close to breaking you.
Rising from your seat on the small, ornate stool at the vanity, you push open the door to the antechamber and take a step into the room. Feyd pauses his pacing with his back to you, and you can see the tension in his shoulders and the rigid way he holds his body before he turns around to face you. His pupils are dilated, his eyes dark, and you watch him regard you with something too untethered to be restraint.
‘Am I keeping you awake, wife?’
You shake your head. ‘I had not retired yet.’
You know he expects you to explain why you’ve interrupted him, but you remain quiet - your silence is as much of a tool as your words. He doesn’t speak either, but his eyes tell you enough; they do not leave your frame, hungry, torrid, and his fingers twitch as if they ache to slip you out of the simple shift you wear to sleep and touch you everywhere, to explore the curves and dips of your body.
Tilting your head, you smirk. ‘If you wish to give me your heirs, husband, I would advise another method that differs from staring one into me.’
‘You don’t know what I want,’ he growls, but his face tells other tales.
Stepping forward, you reach out to him but he backs away. Still, the sheer thirst in his eyes sears away at you, even as his actions fight against it, his fingers closing on the doorknob. His hands are steady, his shoulders too, but the tightness in his muscles betrays him as always. Usually, you’d let him go now, but tonight you wish to see how far he will let you push him before he pushes back, so you snare his forearm in your fingers, tugging at him as he turns the knob.
He doesn’t look at you. ‘Don’t test me.’
You smile, cloyingly so. ‘Why not?’
Lightly, you trace your fingers down his chest, straightening the fabric of his black shirt while you gaze thoughtfully up at him through your lashes, lips curving upwards at the indecision in his eyes. He fights it, wrestles with the burning need, but in the end, he prevails, transforming it into a streak of anger that colours his voice as he tears himself from your grasp, recoiling as if your touch ignites pain within him - and maybe it is pain, that he wants you so but fears to indulge himself.
‘Get away from me.’
Feyd-Rautha does not give you a second to do so, because he is the one haring down the dimly lit corridor, his jaw tight, nails digging into his palms. Truthfully, you have never seen him move that fast, not even in the arena, and it almost makes you laugh - the great na-Baron fleeing from his wife and his own lecherous thoughts.
Maybe you did not win this round of tug of war, but he has asked something of you - to get away from him. Over the next few weeks, you follow this to the letter, avoiding him like the plague; you do not interrupt his pacing in the antechambers, nor do you haunt the bedroom like you normally do, asking him questions that he cannot answer. Feyd-Rautha is sensitive to change and you know he will seek the reason for it.
There is a barely cloaked intensity in his eyes when he finally corners you, and under it, you detect recognition: he sees that you are not who he thought you were, and he sees that you are not so different from him - always observing, always planning, and so, mind shatteringly hungry.
You were just dropping by the bed chambers to gather some of your clothes. The night before, you’d relocated yourself to one of the guest bedrooms - you could sense Feyd’s resolve cracking, and you knew that this would break it for certain: coming into his chambers to find them empty, wifeless, your side of the bed damningly cold. Jealousy is clear in his eyes as he backs you against the vanity, filling you with a rising sense of triumph.
‘What has caused this change in your behaviour, wife?’
You raise a brow, faking confusion. ‘What change? I would argue it is your behaviour that has changed, Feyd, you who can barely stand to be in a room alone with me.’
He snarls. ‘Who were you with last night?’
‘I thought you wanted me to get away from you,’ you reply, keeping up your pretence a little longer. ‘I slept in the guest quarters. You do not reciprocate any of my advances.’
‘Advances?’ He echoes, incredulous. ‘You taunt me, wife. It’s like you want me to break you.’
Cocking your head, you regard him coolly for a moment, letting some of the sharpness of your unmasked gaze leak through, letting him see the calculation in your eyes - you see the wariness it incites in him as he realises again that you are not who he thinks you are. Wordless, you lean in close to him, bringing your face to his, hovering there.
And then you let your arm drop and make a swipe for the knife at his belt.
Fast as a viper, he catches your wrist in your fingers, but you smile, challenge in your eyes as you bring his second blade to his neck. You’d slipped it out while he was distracted with your other hand, and he blinks at the cold press of it to his skin.
‘That’s the problem, isn’t it?’ You murmur. ‘You’re not scared of me, you’re scared of breaking me. Who’s afraid of little old me, huh? No one is, Feyd.’
‘They should be,’ he whispers, and when you meet his gaze, it sets you alight.
‘Indeed,’ you reply softly, letting your lower lip brush his.
As he kisses you, his hands seizing your face and locking you to him, you hook his knife’s blade in the collar of his shirt and drag it down, slicing the fabric until it flutters to the floor. Pulling away, you take him in - the moonlight planes of his sculpted chest, the broadness of his shoulders, his roiling, keen gaze. This man whets your appetite in the darkest kinds of ways: you cannot wait to ruin him.
Absently, you trace the outline of the tent in his pants with the tip of the knife blade. A breathy noise leaves him, and he freezes as if he can feel the cold kiss of the metal against his skin; you laugh, delighted that he is so mouldable in your hands.
‘Get on your knees,’ you command, seating yourself on the end of the bed.
It’s captivating, his lack of hesitation as he follows your orders. He sits back on his heels, looking up at you, and you can tell that he’s letting you see him like this, you can tell that if he didn’t want you to have him like this, you wouldn’t, but still, you reach out, gently skimming his shoulder with your fingertips.
‘All you have to do is say, and I will stop,’ you say.
He dips his chin. ‘I do not think I’ll have to.’
You smirk, something savage and powerful and thrillingly depraved rearing its head inside you, awakened by the sight of the na-Baron kneeling at your feet. That will be his last coherent sentence tonight.
Pausing, making him wait, you lean down a little, inspecting his features, the ardour in his eyes. He looks at you as if you hold the universe in your hands, as if you hung the stars in his sky, as if you are a  goddess, and he wants nothing but to worship you until he is expended.
You spit on him.
It lands on his cheek, and his eyes widen a fraction. A shudder wracks his body, and he simply stares up at you, breathing heavy, before slowly, his lips part, and he sticks out his tongue, his request evident. You grab his jaw, squeezing so that he opens up wider, and spit in his mouth - the low groan that leaves him as he swallows is fucking delectable.
His cock twitches in his pants when you pick up the knife. Tracing the blade over the shell of his ear, over his cheekbone and over his lips, you marvel at the way he holds still, awaiting what you’ll inflict on him next like a good little toy.
When the metal reaches his jaw, you nick the skin, drinking up his sharp intake of breath and the clench of his fists as the blood trickles down the column of his throat; you catch the droplet of crimson on your tongue, licking a careful stripe up his neck, grinning when you catch his lips in a kiss and he trembles at the taste of his own blood. Feyd is greedy, his tongue brushing against yours as he leans up into your touch, the way his mouth works against yours hot, fervent, pleading.
Planting a palm to his sternum, you push him back, chuckling when he strains to follow you, eyes glazed, lips swollen. You spot a streak of red and swipe your thumb over his lower lip, wiping it off before standing.
‘Get up, strip, and get on the bed,’ you bid him, pulling your own shift over your head.
Feyd scrambles to follow your orders, yanking his pants down, and you take your time to admire his muscle sheathed body; strength ripples beneath his skin, a sweet dichotomy to his weeping cock, rock hard and flushed rosy. He halts his movements, as if he’s pinned down by your appraising gaze.
‘For whom do you wait, husband?’
As he turns to get onto the bed, he’s a little too slow and you swat at his ass. A choked sound leaves him, and you laugh at the way his knees almost buckle. Feyd’s ears run red when he lies down on the mattress, and you straddle his thighs, sneering at the way he twists his fingers in the sheets, squirming beneath you.
‘Pathetic.’
You don’t give him time to respond, instead wrapping your fingers around his cock and pumping up and down fast, and he gasps at your rough touch, his back arching and his hands coming up to touch you - you wave them off you, meeting his eyes.
‘No touching,’ you intone, the hint of warning in your voice enough to render him obedient.
This time, you take his cock head in your mouth. He’s so fucking sensitive, reacting as if the sweep of your thumb down the underside of him and the slide of your tongue over him is mind shattering; it doesn’t take you long to get him teetering at the edge of his orgasm, just for you to pull away at the last moment.
His thigh jolts, weak pleas of your name leaving his lips, gripping the sheets so hard you wonder if they’ll rip. Again, you take him in your mouth, deeper, one hand dipping to play with his balls; you revel in the wretched sound that he makes when you hollow your cheeks around him, your teeth grazing up his length. You toy with him until you think he’s moments from breaking, until he’s writhing upon the sheets, face contorted in pleasure loaded with sweet, sweet agony.
‘Please let me come,’ he whimpers, voice cracking, the look in his eyes crazed, pitiful. ‘Please.’
You decide to give it to him, jerking him brutally fast until he comes; it hits him like a tidal wave - his eyes roll back in his skull, his body tensing, rigid and impossibly taut before he goes boneless, a broken cry of your name on his lips as he spills all over his stomach. A single, ecstatic tear slides down his cheek as his orgasm seizes him, snatching him up and shaking him like a ragdoll.
Lingering at his side, you wait until he’s come down from his high before getting up to retrieve a damp cloth from the bathroom, perching on the bed beside him and cleaning up his come, pressing kisses to the surprisingly soft skin of his hips. One wavering hand comes to rest in your hair, and you glance up at him, biting back a smug grin at the dazed look in his eyes.
‘Feeling okay?’
He nods.
‘Words,’ you chide.
‘Y - yes, na-Baroness. Better than okay.’
You raise a brow at that. You did not specify for him to call  you anything, so this is all his doing; he fidgets beneath your gaze, and you note that he’s growing hard again, his cock stiffening between his thighs.
‘Can I…’ He begins, but trails off, thinking better of it.
‘No, little na-Baron,’ you reply coyly. ‘Tell me what you desire.’
His eyes scorch you with their yearning. ‘I want to taste you, na-Baroness.’
You smile. ‘As you wish.’
You lean back against the pillows, letting your legs fall open for him. It’s somewhat comical, the way his eyes widen as he sees your slick cunt, and he swallows harshly - you can almost sense his mouth watering. Carefully, reverently, almost, he nudges your knees over his wide shoulders, bringing his face close to your pussy, admiring you. It’s as if he’s testing himself, waiting to see how long it takes for him to break and taste you.
Lurching forward, Feyd groans, low and deep and right against your clit when he laps at your heat, quickly becoming insatiable as his tongue moves masterfully at the apex of your legs, laving over your clit and curving in and out of you. Bolts of pleasure spear through your body, fierce like crackling lightning at the eye of a storm - he is everything to you in this moment. He shatters you, breaking you and mending you anew.
As he brings you closer, your body begins to shake and your legs close around his head; you suffocate him with your thighs, and you can tell he lives for it from the way he fervently grips your ass in his large hands, kneading the flesh and moaning into your pussy.
Something pulls tight within you, deliciously so, and you cry his name in warning, fingers curling around the base of his neck to hold him still as your hips buck, rutting into his face. Dimly, you can see him grinding into the mattress as you fuck yourself on his tongue - the chafe of his nose against your clit makes you shatter, and you fall apart for him with a ragged cry, nails digging into his shoulders.
You’re still coming down from it when Feyd begins to lap at you again, dutifully cleaning you up, and you twitch with the slight overstimulation, hooking a finger under his chin to see his eyes: his gaze is loaded with the heat of a thousand suns, and yet somehow it is also bleary, drunk. A laugh escapes you, and you tug at his hand, encouraging him to lie beside you.
‘Good boy,’ you hum as he nuzzles into your touch. You can feel him achingly hard against your thigh, and you let yourself catch your breath before reaching down and wrapping your fingers around his cock. ‘Want to fuck me now, hm?’
He nods avidly. ‘Yes, na-Baroness.’
All it takes is for you to half spread your legs before he’s climbing eagerly between them, hesitating before looking up at you for permission. You dip your chin, smirking, and then he’s sinking into you, burying himself inside you.
Voice cracking, Feyd chokes out your name, and he shudders, gasping at the velvet vice of your cunt as it clenches, bearing down on him. Sharply, you rock your hips up to meet his, and this time, a soft, keening whine leaves him, and he squeezes his eyes shut, biting down hard on his lower lip.
He can barely keep himself from spilling inside you.
‘You can barely hold it, can’t you, my little na-Baron?’
His words come out jumbled, his speech scrambled, mind ground to a standstill by the all consuming heat of your cunt; he babbles out protests, saying that he can, desperate to prove he can, stammering that he wants to make you feel good.
Cruelly, you buck your hips up against his again, and a pained sound looses from his chest, but he thrusts to meet you, hips lurching forward, his arms almost buckling either side of your head. Panting, he pulls out slowly before slamming back in, unable to stifle the whimper that tears from the back of his throat when you rake your nails down his shoulder blades, claiming him, littering his shoulders and neck with bites.
‘That’s it,’ you sigh as he finds his pace. ‘Just like that, good boy.’
A strangled noise tears itself from him at your praise, and he fucks into you, frantic, almost feral. Eventually, his thrusts begin to turn sloppy, and you kiss him in order to steal his breath and taste his fervid moans of your name on your tongue as he comes deep inside you.
Pressing a palm to his lower back, you pin him there, buried snugly within your pussy as you reach down with your other hand and rub your clit hard - it takes but a moment for you to come, and he writhes at the cataclysmic feel of your walls fluttering around him, overstimulating him, his mouth falling open in a silent cry as he comes again with your cunt milking his cock.
Completely spent, Feyd goes limp, and you rub your hand over his back, smoothing circles on his skin with your lips to his forehead. The post orgasm clarity begins to hit him, and you feel him go rigid - slowly, he pulls out, his seed leaking out now that he’s not filling you, and he attempts to get up, but his legs are too weak and he collapses beside you instead, his chest heaving, his eyes still a little hazy, still fucked out, even as he fights for lucidity.
There’s something on his face that cuts at your heart - a look of expectancy, as if he’s waiting for you to get up and leave now that you’ve had your fill of him. Concerned, you reach out, and he leans away from your touch.
‘Feyd,’ you murmur. ‘It was not too much, was it?’
‘N - no,’ he replies. ‘I just…’
Sitting up slowly, you look him right in the eyes. He stares back, bewildered, but you press a finger to his lips, foregoing your own fumbling words to instead recite the pledge of allegiance of a Harkonnen soldier to their general; his eyes widen - you know you have hit home. You’d exchanged wedding vows, of course, but these have a different meaning: you see it in the respectful way it is uttered, a soldier acknowledging his superior’s presence.
You pledge to him not only your heart, but your sword - your service - too.
‘Wife,’ Feyd bites out. ‘Surely you do not mean - ’
‘I mean it,’ you cut in. ‘Every word.’
Again, you reach for him, and this time he does not flinch away, letting you tuck him close to you, his breath coming out shaky. Gently, you tip up his chin, planting a chaste kiss on his parted lips, and he returns it slowly, wondrously, no teeth or tongue, just the gentle brush of his mouth against yours: the innocence of it is bittersweet - has anyone ever kissed him this tenderly?
Carefully, you withdraw, wanting to see him, but he does not let you meet his eyes, instead hiding his face in your neck, his lips at the hollow of your throat. You grant him the privacy of not being seen when you feel wetness on your skin, his hot tears tracking down and pooling in your collarbone - his hands ball at his sides, and you pry open his fingers and lace yours with his, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Tightly, you wrap your arms around him, holding him with a hand cupping the back of his head, cradling him to your chest.
Your voice is quiet in the still air, but it carries as if through an arena, a promise arcing through the air like a soaring arrow.
‘You no longer walk this world alone, Feyd-Rautha.’
best believe when i started writing this i did not anticipate the 2x 'good boy's 🧍
dune taglist: @callumsgirl @oh-you-mean-me @insufferablyunbearable
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danmei-confessions · 3 months ago
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I think we should talk about Wu Zetian, China’s only female emperor, who historically has been regarded as a horrible and brutal leader.
She was born a commoner, became a concubine to one emperor, married his son and then took the role of emperor for herself when he died. She was politically adept, highly ambitious and extraordinarily intelligent.
History has accused her of smothering her newly born daughter and blaming a rival for her death. She had that rivals hands and feet cut off and then had her thrown into a vat of wine in which she was left to drown. She gouged out another rivals eyes and had acid poured down her throat. She wiped out 12 entire branches of a clan. She poisoned her mother. Just how accurate these things are is up for debate, but while these things might not all be true, she certainly did have several family members killed. And she did deal with her rivals and her detractors ruthlessly. Yet none of these things would have attracted criticism if she had been a man. She was no more scandalous than any other ruler during that time period.
But! Her rule was peaceful and prosperous. She avoided wars and welcomed ambassadors from as far away as the Byzantine empire. She changed laws so common people could be chosen for roles in government for their abilities rather than their name or status. She acknowledged and acted on criticisms from her retainers. She built watchtowers along the Silk Road so merchants wouldn’t be harrowed by bandits. Her reign saw women given more freedom(the ability to divorce, hold government positions, travel, hunt and ride horses, to be recognized by scholars).
She supported Buddhism and helped the religion spread and grow through commissioning temples, monasteries, and even a statue of the Buddha said to be carved in her own likeness. In the eyes of the common people, she likely would have been an incredibly popular ruler.
She remains a controversial figure primarily because of stories about her personal actions against her rivals by male Confucian officials who were prejudiced against strong and ambitious women and while they undoubtedly exaggerated aspects of Wu’s life, there is still substantial verifiable evidence of her ruthlessness.
We should also be aware that although she allegedly held her power through murder and merciless, according to Confucian philosophy, ‘while an emperor should not be condemned for acts that would be crimes in a subject, he should be judged harshly for allowing the state to fall into anarchy’ and viewed under this lens, Wu did effectively fulfill her duties as a ruler.
So we have a leader of ancient china who had two faces, one who committed acts of vile cruelty against her family and rivals and one who gave her citizens peace and prosperity.
Through a modern lens she can be viewed as an evil woman who rose from humble beginnings and coldly and calculatingly murdered her way into arguably the most powerful position in the world. A rich woman who threw crumbs to her peasant people while she lived luxuriously. She is a deadly woman, a black widow, an evil stepmother, a kinslayer. But according to historians, “without Wu there would have been no long enduring Tang dynasty and perhaps no lasting unity of China.”
The comparison to a modern mr beast obviously doesn’t hold water, but we can certainly analyze jgy to a more comparable historical figure and argue more accurately in a historical context if jgy was a good leader as the de facto emperor as the cultivation worlds Xiāndū.
It’s easy to see the comparisons between Wu and jgy, both were undesirable and deemed unfit by society. But both were politically adept, highly ambitious and extraordinarily intelligent. Both had family members murdered, perhaps sharing between them filicide. Both had a clans murdered to a man. Both are thought to have had their faces carved on religious relics for their narcissistic pleasure. Both had watchtowers built as a defense for their people. And both were torn down by the men following after them, vilified and distorted. Both forever destined to be speculated upon and misunderstood. Both of their legacy’s destroyed by rumor and falsification. It would not surprise me in the slightest if mxtx didn’t draw on Wu at least a little bit in the creation of jgy. Both Wu and jgy are culpable for some pretty heinous stuff, that can’t be denied. But like Wu, jgy also has a second face.
Moral bias and character motivation aside, his efforts to build watchtowers, his patronage of religion in the building of Guanyin temple, his fight against political corruption, his years long peaceful reign, his charity, all these things lead to the conclusion that under the rule of Confucian, he more than aptly fulfilled his role as a leader for his citizens.
And if you really want to look at Jgys leadership through a modern lens, we really don’t have to look much further than Ingersoll. “If you want to find out what a man is to the bottom, give him power.”
And really that’s part of the tragedy of his character. Because of his background he excelled when he was in a role of leadership. He was good at it.
Whether or not jgy as a literary character is a good person, is subjective and should not be used to measure his role as an effective leader.
All of that being said, jgy is my bestfriend and I love him and would I die for him.
.
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sunderwight · 10 months ago
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SVSSS AU where Shen Yuan's younger sister does a villainess transmigration.
The world she ends up in was originally a dating game and visual novel with some light RPG and crafting elements. Playing as purehearted main girl Qiu Haitang, one could choose any number of routes to pursue, from dashing Liu Qingge, to scholarly Mu Qingfang, sexy ice demon Linguang Jun, cute-but-domineering younger half-demon Luo Binghe, and so on. It was an interesting game, though it notoriously inspired some frustration when some of the more interesting side characters (like Yue Qingyuan) were completely unavailable as romantic options, and inspired at lot of rumors about hidden content and demands on future DLC expansions.-
Shen Meimei hadn't particularly liked the game. Sure, she played every route to 100% completion, bought all the extras, the official soundtrack, and the merch (fanmade as well as what slim-pickings existed officially), but that shouldn't be mistaken for approval. Much of that was in fact a desperate quest to figure out what the hell was even going on! Ignore the play time listed for this scathing Steam review, everyone! It shouldn't be factored into any assessments!
The game had several problems, in Shen Meimei's opinion.
The main issue was the lack of follow-through on the buildup of the backstory. Qiu Haitang's whole family was killed one night, maybe-probably by her sketchy as fuck ex-fiancee, who was also a hostage being kept by the Qiu family as leverage against a rival family. Which begged so many questions! Shen Meimei had suspected all along that there was more to it than met the eye (not just because the evil family shared her surname) but it was never deeply delved into. The whole thing only even got resolution in some of the routes, and the most thorough was Luo Binghe's. Luo Binghe had a huge vendetta against Shen Qingqiu, Haitang's sketchy former fiance, which left a lot of room for doubt about his investigating the issue. Was Shen Qingqiu really to blame? Or was Luo Binghe just taking advantage of an opportunity to pin SOME crime on him, since he couldn't really get him for the shit he actually did to Luo Binghe himself? What about the hints regarding that Wu Yanzi guy? Why did those never seem to amount to much? Were the Qiu family really stupid enough to betroth their only daughter to a hostage, or was something else going on? And what about Xiao Qi, the slave boy servant of the Qiu who was mentioned a few times as another possible survivor or witness, but who never comes up again?
Shen Meimei played through everything, certain that there had to be some way to actually solve or gain clarity on the Mystery of the Qiu Family Murders, but even after completing the main routes and unlocking and completing the hidden ones -- nothing! It was all just swept aside in favor of tepid romance arcs, made all the more insufferable because of the compelling subtext between the male love interests. Like, why were any of these guys even interested in Haitang when they so clearly had more going on with each other?
Annoyance over a game Shen Meimei lost too many hours of her life to was one thing, of course.
Transmigrating into the younger sister of notoriously sketchy ex-fiance Shen Qingqiu was another!
Bad news: in the routes where Shen Qingqiu is prosecuted for his crimes, his whole family goes down with him. So if this goes poorly, not only will he be punished, but so will Shen Meimei!
Worse news: this fictional version of her family is almost identical to her actual real family. To the point where she would be checking everyone else for transmigration, except that no one but her seems aware that anything is odd. Shen Qingqiu acts exactly like her older brother, right down to his particular flavor of prickly social behavior and cynicism. And their middle brother is a chronically ill nerd who hate-reads trash novels and is completely fascinated by weird monsters (a much more worrisome trait in a world that actually has a lot of those...)
In short, her life is on the line, and so is her family's!
Damn you, Veiled Heroine Games! If you hadn't abandoned so many plot threats, Shen Meimei might actually know what was going on and be able to neatly circumvent everything! But now she has to figure out how to win the protagonist back over, rescue her brothers, and solve (and possibly further cover up...) the mysterious Qiu family murders, all while keeping Luo Binghe away from Shen Jiu, and preventing Qiu Haitang from completing any of the romance plotlines that will cause troubles for them! Which is most of them!
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jm-2406 · 7 months ago
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Hi! I saw that your requests are open and I read your rules. Can I request a Theordore Nott with a Hufflepuff reader? A Hufflepuff who is quiet, but not shy. Like she speaks when spoken too or whenever she deems it necessary. Maybe they get grouped together in a project or something where they cross paths. Preferably fluff. Thanks love
You're feisty.
Summary - a study session ends with a confession.
Pairing - Theodore Nott x Hufflepuff! reader.
Word count - 775.
Note - I think I strayed a little and my work is rusty, I've written after a long break. I hope you like it.
Warnings - none.
Requests - open || find my work - here.
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Being in hufflepuff was a good as well as tiring experience. Your housemates were cheerful and had a positive vibe, most of them were smart and badass but to others, you guys were portrayed as a bunch of smiles and laughs. The most common assumption that other houses had regarding you was that they thought you were shy, sweet and naive but you are not, you are just quiet and enjoy your alone time. It was a given that most of them who tried to bother you or make fun of you were pleasantly shut down and put into place. And on such days, your friend Hannah would find you in a sour mood.
“What happened now?” She asked curiously after seeing your grumpy expression. You shook your head and mouthed ‘potions’. That was enough for her to guess what might have happened. You shared potions with the Slytherins and one of them always bothered you because he considered himself as an expert in the subject just because of his house when in reality he was not. As you guys were about to sit down and relax, someone's footsteps caught your attention. To your left stood Theo, the boy with whom you were paired up, courtesy of professor Snape.
“Need to discuss something.” He said plainly and turned around. You didn't know what he was expecting but still stood up to follow him. Hannah looked at you with wide eyes and a smirk, knowing well about your crush on the tall boy. “Out of my league.” You would say but she was convinced that he liked you back.
Theodore led you to one of the quiet spots in the library. You took a seat in front of the windows while he wandered off to select the books needed for the potions assignment. After a few minutes he came back with not one but three thick books making you chuckle and the tall Slytherin graced you with a rare smile of his own. It made your heart flutter.
“All good, badger? You sure this is a study session and not a tutoring program for yourself?” A nasty voice interrupted your study session. You were too deep in the books to notice him the first time.
“What do you want, Codnor? We're busy here.” Theo said to his housemate. The boy continued to stare at the two of you until you finally snapped.
“Codnor, please go to madam pomfrey and get your eyes checked. They're stuck at our table, I think that might be a serious issue.” He looked at you with a very displeased expression but before he could retaliate, Theo had gotten up and made him leave.
When he returned, he saw you mumbling and couldn't hold back his laugh. “Stop it.” You whispered angrily. Theo raised his hands in surrender and took his seat. “You know [Y/N], there's something about you that I might've guessed wrong.”
“What?” You looked at him confused.
“I thought that you were one of those shy ones but you're not. You're feisty. I like that. I like you more now.” An awkward moment followed after his unexpected words. Theo cleared his throat and tried to find the right words.
“What do you mean, Theo? You're not teasing me, are you? Because that's a little evil considering you know how I feel.”
“No. I'm not. I'd never.” He reassured you. “And I know about how you feel.”
For the first time since you reached Hogwarts, you saw Theo at a loss of words. “Are you saying that you feel the same?” You asked him quietly, hesitantly.
“Merlin! Yes. I am not good with words but I'll try. [Y/N] [Y/L/N], i am infatuated with you, your personality and intelligence add to your charm. Will you do me a favour by being my girlfriend and making me the happiest man alive?” He forwarded his hand, palm up, to you.
You blinked in shock then did a little dance while sitting on the chair because you couldn't shout in the library. “Yes. A thousand times yes.” You placed your hand in his. He brought it up to his lips and placed a chaste kiss at the back of your hand.
The rest of the afternoon went away peacefully and by the end of it, you ended up in Theo's lap, sharing your first kiss.
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THE END.
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messylustt · 1 year ago
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I just finished the Miguel fic and its not bested YET my standers are HIGH. With that being said i have a hobie blurb/fic idea
goody reader! who hobie swear he cant stand (he's obssessed)
you angelllll and this scenario for hobie—ugh it lives rent free now THANK YOU my sweet anon
GOODY-TWO-SHOES AND BRITISH PUNK — hobie brown + reader: just hobie pushing away the fact that he’s obsessed with you, by finding your goody nature “annoying”.
marks no warnings. just a bit of banter. wc 1.6k.
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When you joined the spider society, everyone thought of you as ‘sweet’ and an all in all ‘do gooder’. Many found it endearing, while Hobie claimed to think the complete opposite.
Even though his mouth was saying things like “ya could ‘ave aimed that web better.” And “maybe try catchin’ the evil guy next time…ay?” His body had always stayed close to you.
He said things regarding your ‘sweetness’, pinning it as ‘no good’, it won’t help being overly sweet while fighting bad guys. And god did you being a little ‘do gooder’ and following the rules piss him off the most.
But even after all those confirmations in his head he found himself looking for you, standing next to you in de-briefs or when a few of you would just hang out. It was always when you were in a group—Hobie was near.
And right now as you listened to Jess speak on the new ‘villain of the week’, you felt a presence beside you. As you glanced to the left you saw Hobie, standing, hands in pockets, as he acted oblivious to his own body’s movements.
He had moved closer to you. In his head he brushed it off as him just making sure you were listening and paying attention to Jess’s words so that you wouldn’t fuck anything up this time. (Not that Hobie ever does pay that much attention himself).
Hobie had never been a nitpicker, but when it came to you he noticed all the details. He could almost tell you your own body’s habits before you even realised them yourself. Like the little nose scrunch you’d do when you were bored. Or the tilt of your head, signalling that you were really trying to listen. Or even the press of your lips, showing that you were just…thinking.
He didn’t pay much attention to his reasons for taking such close notice though. No. Because he's sure that the sole reason (only one) is because you've always annoyed him.
“So please….” Jess is saying. “Please don’t touch any of the guy’s gadgets.”
Then the debrief is over, and you’re getting to your feet, having jumped up onto a ledge. Hobie can’t help but watch as you began to walk towards a portal. “Careful there luv…woul’n’t want you to get ahead of yourself. Maybe ya should stay back this round?” Hobie walks backwards, leaning his head slightly to the side as he moves to the portal.
You press your lips together, eyeing him. What is she thinking about?—Hobie thought to himself, eyeing you back, as he continues to speak. “To be good at ya job, ya gotta loosen up on those rules, ya do know that…right?”
“You say that like you think I’m wound tight.” You say, slowly walking with him—his feet still walking backwards as you walked forward.
He raises a brow. “Aren’t you, luv?” He tongue began to absentmindedly play with his lip ring, dragging it slightly between his teeth as he neared the portal. Then he’s leaning back, and falling through it, you not far behind.
The portal had opened up over a high sky, resulting in you both falling. Hobie tilted his head, watching as you faced each other, skyrocketing down. You spare him a tilt of your head, before your web is attaching to a building as you slip away from his line of sight. And Hobie doesn’t know why but his lips had began to twitch up.
Shooting his own web out, he swung to a stop on the building, where everyone else resided. And of course, he yet again moved closer to you.
Directions were given by Jess as the spider variants all went their separate ways. "Nah, you're comin' with me." Hobie says, grabbing your arm as he pulls you towards the edge of the building. "I thought I bothered you too much..." you mutter more to yourself.
"What was that?" Hobie asks, but you just spare him a "Hm?" before you're web slinging to the next building. Hobie scoffs, copying the action.
Soon you're both swinging past buildings, and when Hobie attaches his web to where yours was gonna go, your face actually displays a slight scowl. Hobie raises his brows—effortlessly swinging backwards. "See...I knew ya were fakin' ya sweetness." Hobie comments through the wind.
"And when were you paying so much attention to me for you to know that?" You call back, slipping past him as your hand slightly brushes his guitar strap. He doesn't like the feeling that crawled up his neck when you brushed so close. He was the one who initiated the closeness, and you having barely touched him made him quickly follow you.
Then you're both swinging almost together, Hobie's gaze stuck on your relaxed posture. "Ya did learn from last time right, luv?" Hobie asks, to which you lazily glance at him.
"That wasn't my fault." You say, slipping through a narrow gap. Hobie went over so as not to scratch his guitar. "Ya can't be that blind...can ya?"
"You know, I've never understood why you act like this." You say, coming to a stop on a lower building and gazing down, spotting the gadget wearing anomaly. Hobie fluidly stops beside you as you both crouched down. But as you stared at the anomaly, Hobie stared at you.
"Act like what?" He asks, feeling a strange urge to pull your mask off. Why did he want to see your expressions when he was talking to you?
You glance at him. "Act like you hate me. Maybe you do...but I just can't pinpoint an exact reason why."
"Aw..." Hobie coos. "Scared not everyone is fallin' for ya goody-two-shoes act?"
"It's not an act. And I am not a goody-two-shoes." You slightly huff out.
"Yeah ya are..." Hobie hums out, almost sounding amused. "You always follow the rules, being a dottin' little helper to Miguel."
You look back to the anomaly. Jess had said to wait, as backup, so you do, trying your best to ignore a now closer hobie. "And you always do that...can't find a reason for it either." You mutter.
"Do what?" Hobie shifts closer. You turn your head, eyeing him. "That. Coming close."
"Maybe I'm scared you might do something overly heroic, just to get into Miguel's good books."
"Hobie being scared? Now that's a first." Hobie's surprised to hear the clear sarcasm in your voice. "And what makes you think I'm trying so hard to get into Miguel's 'good books'?" You ask.
"Ya are always the first to accept missions." Hobie says, and he hopes you don't notice his slight jealous tone. "And Miguel seems rather pleased with that."
"Maybe because I'm doing my job?" You ask, finally glancing at him again. And Hobie can't help but swiftly grab your mask. He wanted to know if you were bored, thinking, or actually listening to him.
"Hobie..." You say, reaching for your mask again. "I need that."
But Hobie just pockets it in his jacket. "Nah, Jess won't need us. She's too prideful and...usually completes missions..." He eyes you like he's hinting at something.
"I'm sorry—but when have I ever not completed a mission?" You have a slight frown on your face. And Hobie grins under his mask, liking seeing your expressions. Especially because he's been able to get new ones, like a frown and a scowl.
"Last week." He answers, fiddling with your mask material in his pocket.
You groan. "I told you, that wasn't my fault."
"Hm..." Hobie's eyes had begun to grow distracted in your moving mouth, noticing the details...yet again. The way they would slightly part when you were confused. You were confused now, so Hobie got a chance to see a fraction of your teeth. Why was he focusing so hard? And maybe if his mask was off, you would see exactly where his gaze was trapped.
"Hobie." You say, noticing he had stayed silent for a little too long. "Hobie." You shuffle closer to knock his shoulder. "Can I have my mask back?"
But he just began to shake his head. "Nah...I think I'll keep it." He then stands, looking down at you. You quickly get to your feet also, eyes narrowed. "Why? I do actually need it."
Hobie just shrugs, feeling thoroughly amused with the whole situation. You go to reach for his pocket, but he easily dodges. "This is really not the time." You mutter, trying again. But Hobie just moves around you.
You then swiftly shoot a web, aiming for the inside of his pocket, but hobie snatches the end, yanking you towards him, making tumble to a stop against his chest. And you can feel the slight rumble of a chuckle, making you quickly stand straight, only for your breath to hitch.
Because now his mask is off, and he's extremely close. Now you can see his eyes dart, fully absorbing your details, and you actually grow to feel a tad nervous. "Can I please have it back?"
"Back to the fake sweetness, are we?" He asks, his gaze now stopping on your lips.
"It's not fake." You mutter out, moving to step back, but Hobie tightens his hold on your web, keeping you still. "What are you doing?" You ask, a slight groan of annoyance edging your tone.
Hobie tilts his head, acting as if he isn't doing anything, as his finger comes out to just brush your collarbone through your suit. You don't know what to do, as you stare at him. He'd never been this close, facing you, at least. He's always been behind you or beside you. And now as his tongue comes out to lick his full lips, you find your gaze getting caught up in the action.
"I'm not a goody-two-shoes..." You choose to say, still slightly hung up on the nickname.
"Yeah...ya are." Hobie repeats, this time quieter. "...but it's..." You narrow your eyes on him. 'It's' what? "It's kinda cute, luv."
Your eyes widen. "W-what?"
"Hm?" He quickly hums, before he's webbing away, making you spin to gaze after him. "Hobie!" You call, as you quickly web after him.
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© messylustt.tumblr please don’t steal, copy or translate my work onto other platforms.
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youremyheaven · 8 months ago
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Vedic Astrology Observations
1. Punarvasus tend to be very spiritual if not religious. They find peace in prayer. Another thing I've noticed is that they are very sexually conservative (probably because of their cat yoni). Mariah Carey, Punarvasu Moon was a virgin when she married her first husband and waited until marriage to be intimate with her second husband as well. She was engaged to James Packer for 18 months and they reportedly never had a physical relationship.
Miranda Kerr, Punarvasu Moon was in a relationship with Evan Spiegel for 3 years and waited until marriage. Drew Barrymore, Punarvasu Moon has said that she's been celibate since her divorce in 2016.
2. Mariah Carey, Punarvasu Moon speaking of the nature of light & time , her memoir has multiple chapters titled with light-related names and even sooo many of her songs , including Butterfly (Punarvasus are connected to butterflies)
3. Moksha gana nakshatras embody the trickster archetype. They also often argue or provoke people simply for the heck of it. 2/3 Moon ruled naks (Rohini & Hasta) are Moksha gana and it makes sense as to why they fuck with people just because they can, they have nothing to gain from it and it serves no purpose, they're evil for the heck of it. They'll go to any length to ruin you even if they ruin themselves in the process.
Moksha means liberation in Sanskrit (Sanskrit is a classical language like Latin that is pretty much only used in a scholarly context) and is one of 4 purusharthas or motivations assigned to the 27 naks. The others are artha (wealth) kama (pleasure) and dharma (duty). Moksha would be located at the very top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which means an individual with Moksha gana naks has transcended all the other base level motivations of accumulating wealth, seeking pleasure and doing one's duty. What is left to do now? If an individual is evolved, they actually seek liberation through their spirituality but if they are not, not only are they unbothered by any ordinary human motives, they lack the ability to devote themselves to anything ordinary because they simply dont care about getting a job or building a house or whatever. this means they also kind of exist beyond normal social norms?? go up against a Moksha gana native/Moon dominant person and the kind of arguments they'll use against you will reveal this nature of theirs. like they will have zero issue using your every vulnerability and insecurity against you just to win an argument or put you down. they hate to look "weak" so they will tear you apart just because they can, with no regard for any history you share. there are people who defend this by saying "oh well i was mad" babygirl everybody gets mad, but if someone isnt raising their voice, being petty or singling you out and bringing up your past to make you crumble, its not because they're incapable of it, its because they have principles.
Moksha gana naks love to play devil's advocate.
4. Rahuvians have bad memory, they probably repeat the same stories in different ways every few weeks lol
5. Saturnian women often marry billionaires according to Claire Nakti and I recently found some more examples of that:
** Mariah Carey, UBP Sun was engaged to Australian billionaire, James Packer who used to date Miranda Kerr, Pushya Rising (both these women are also Punarvasu Moon), Miranda is now married to the CEO of Snapchat.
** Lisa Manobal, UBP Sun is dating Frederic Arnault, a French billionaire
** Elle Macpherson, UBP Sun was in a relationship with Arpad Busson with whom she had 2 kids (he's not a billionaire but he does have a net worth of $500 million)
6. Nominative determinism, literally "name-driven outcome", is the hypothesis that people tend to gravitate towards areas of work that reflect their names.
but i thought i'd use it in the context of astrology and how most people are subconsciously given names that reflect their nakshatras
ex: Angelina Jolie
the name Angelina is an expansion of Angela which is derived from the Greek word Angelos which means "Angel" or "messenger". Angelina has Revati Moon which is a deva ("godly" nakshatra) and Jolie is the French word for "pretty" and Angelina has Venus in 1h and is Pushya Rising (these were two of the biggest beauty indicators according to Claire's research)
(its so cute to me that her name is literally Angel Pretty bc damn right she is)
Yara Shahidi (Revati Moon)- Yara is the name of a water spirit and in Portuguese it means "Water lady" (Yara has stated that her name means one who is close to your heart, but names can have several different meanings) and Shahidi means "witness" in Persian. I feel like all of that really ties together with Revati being in pisces rashi and the last nakshatra that is "witness" to everything else etc
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esotericpluto · 5 months ago
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what will the rest of 2024 bring you
from left to right; intuitively choose the pile you feel more connected to. To make it easier, you can take a deep breathe, close your eyes and ask for guidance to your deities or guides. These are all general messages, so just take what resonates and leave what doesn't. This reading is timeless. If it resonates, feedback is always appreciated and motivates to keep doing pick a card readings. You can donate here.
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pile 1
for who chose this pile, I see some solitude, but not in the way that you will feel lonely. You will overjoy yourself in this alone time, you will use it to improve yourself, to work on your desired skills, to work on your projects. Where there is this positive self-isolation, there is also a will to thrive and succeed. A moment to keep things to yourself only until after you succeed and complete your plans.
This will ultimately protect you and I see finances increasing for you soon, to the point some of you will be achieving a new milestone with this money, maybe buying a house or a new car. For some of you it could even be starting to plan the trip of your dreams.
I feel like some of you might have a friend you will have to be very careful about. I would recommend you to cut them off or stop talking to them around in September. This person I feel like won't be truly happy about your achievements and will be secretly jealous and envious, to the point it could translate into sending the evil eye to you. Please be careful and protect yourself.
I also feel like you might try some new foods you will truly enjoy and I also think you will be able to go to some restaurants you always had on your go-to list. I feel this happening in November/December.
I am not seeing much regarding love, so I feel like the situation might not change for most of you. If it does change for somenof you, it will be a positive change, like meeting someone new but that I feel like you will be unsure about them due to fears of getting hurt.
I also see someone with books, so I definitely recommend you to start reading or at least read more than you currently do. I also see you might take some free online courses and you are being highly advised and guided to do so, it will benefit you a lot! If you plan on going back to studying in university or similar, then it seems like it is a very good path for you to take this year!
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pile 2
I feel some sadness and heaviness in this pile, which seems to come from the loss of someone or something, but mostly someone. It could be something that has happened or still will this year. I see this being something that lingers in you for quite a bit, but you will find ways to deal with it and pick yourself up, which will eventually lead to your healing. Remember to be kind and compassionate with yourself.
In this time, i see you focusing on self-care (or this might be the recommendation of your guides), I recommend taking breaks for yourself, giving yourself love, relaxing, pampering yourself, even attending therapy just to have a healthy place to vent out at (I know some people might be scared of therapists, but I feel like 99.5% of you will definitely end up with a really good therapist, your intuition will definitely help you in this case).
I do also see your intuition being extremely heightened for the rest of this year and I see you really understand the extension it goes to, unlike you have seen it before. It will also help you understand yourself and even certain situations better. This will definitely help you with self-love and self-confidence a lot and will help you coming out of your shell.
I do see most of the year being kept to yourself mostly, which will be the best for you to focus on yourself. I also see you picking up on some new hobbies and I feel like for some you, maybe in 2025, these hobbies could become something more like a side business or even main business.
You will gain more trust in yourself and I see you also taking care of your inner child. I feel like with your inner child the work won't be 100% complete this year, but you will have a 90% proggress and feel better than you have.
The message here seems clear, most of our lives we spend in hurry but this remaining half of year is for you to rest, to stop, to listen and to be in the present, with yourself as company. This seems what is needed for you to enjoy your own company truly, to no longer be scared of being alone.
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pile 3
If you've had family quarrels recently, I feel like you will be able to distance yourself from that sooner or later this year. This to some of you may signify a newfounded independence from your family and being able to truly make it on your own.
If you are wondering on whether you should take a new job offer/position or start a business, it is definitely a yes. I do see this business flourishing this year. Same for those who have already started their own business, the second half of this year promises success and abundance. You might even be able to start affording a lot of things you previously could not. It will feel like a true recompensation after years of endurance and suffering for various reasons. It feels like those days are over, except for the occasional annoyance/bad days.
I do see some dates for those who are still single. You might be on dating apps and I see you will be going on a few casual dates. With some of them, there might be some kisses exchanges, but I don't see it becoming more than that (unless you want of course), until the very ending of this year, in which I feel like you will fall in love.
For people who are in a serious relationship, this is good news. I see some hardships, especially if financial, being over for good. You will be able to start a new chapter.
If one of you gets an invitation to gamble, I highly advise to decline it at all costs, as it won't have a good outcome. If your partner has some sort of gambling addiction, then I think you will have enough and leave them this year, because you won't settle for that financial ruin and you should not. So in this case, you will also have your financial harships done for and start a new, happier chapter.
Some of you, especially already married couples or couples who have been living together for a longer time, might actually start a family this year in an unplanned or half-planned way. I feel like it will be a slightly scary experience, but if you decide to move forward with it, I feel like you will handle things swiftly and be unexpectedly happy.
Make sure to eat healthy and take care if yourself. I see some of you starting to going to the gym or pilates classes and actually putting your mind to having a slightly healthier lifestyle.
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itsmewillful · 5 months ago
Text
I will Always Find You
Main Masterlist
Character Masterlist:
(Vox x fem!reader)
Word Count: 5782 (i got too carried away)
Outline: You, the wife of the infamous media overlord Vox, falls from Heaven and you find yourself in a chaotic new world. You meet the Hazbin Hotel crew, but most of all, you met him. Your long lost love.
Warning(s): Canon typical violence, language, etcetera.
A/N: Heyy guys, I totally was not gone for an entire year. . .but, I'm done with High School now so I will probably start posting a little bit more often. . .*no promises though. my memory is absolute garbage*
Also, why am I obsessed with a TV?
Story below the cut:
Heaven.
The place all virtuous and 'perfect' people ascend to after living the life every good person is meant.
You don't even know how you got here. You always thought that you would go to Hell. (Not to put it lightly) Perhaps it was because you were widowed at a rather young age. Perhaps it was because you were murdered by your late husband's arch rival. Or maybe, it was a bit of all.
Your life on earth wasn't bad per se. In fact, you had a very happy life. You got married at the fruitful age of 20, to your best friend, and lived in a very comfortable home. Your husband, Vincent Holland, was a big-time news reporter in your hometown.
But, why was it in Heaven that almost all your memories regarding Vincent were blurry? As if someone with significant power was preventing you from reminiscing on your past life?
You could barely remember his face; his award winning smile. His sapphire blue eyes, and his dark hair.
You hated this.
You couldn't even remember how long ago you died.
Hell, you couldn't even remember how you died. Just that you were murdered one day and your body was left to rot in a random alley.
A hand waving in front of your face interrupted your sad train of thoughts, and your attention immediately shifted back to your friend. Or acquaintance, you weren't exactly sure where your friendship status lay.
"You alright there, partner?"
You sighed slowly and nodded your head in affirmation. You weren't sure if you were doing it to convince them that you were okay, or yourself.
"I'm alright, Kai, just a bit tired ," you mumbled pathetically. Kai was a very beautiful shark-like angel. You met them some time ago and instantly clicked with one another. But, Kai was one of those people that had a tendency of gossiping with their girlfriend Molly. And you were never comfortable sharing anything beyond your life in Heaven.
Which was a pity because you were sure if you shared it, you wouldn't feel so fucking stressed out.
The shark angel let out a small laugh and gently patted your head.
"Sure, sure. Whatever you say m'lady. You know if there's anything bothering you, you could always talk to me or Molly, right?"
You again nodded your head, even though you probably would never take up the offer.
"Hey you guys! How are you both doing?"
Speak of the devil and he shalt appear.
"Hey Molly! I see you're finally off of work?"
"Yup! And I brought a treat for you both!" Molly said in a sing-song tone of voice. Kai smiled with a nearly evil-like grin and made grabby hands at their girlfriend.
"Gimme, I can smell the baked goods!"
You chuckled at Kai's antics and stood up from the chair you were sitting in. Kai raised a brow at you and you motioned with your hand that you were going to get another drink. You picked up your now empty whisky bottle and began to head over to the bar where you and Kai find yourselves frequently whenever you both have had a long day at work.
The bartender, Mr Smiles (as Molly so lovingly named him) greeted you with a very drunken smirk when you arrived at your favourite destination.
"Hello there, Mrs. Holland. To what do I owe the pleasure?"
You rolled your eyes and sat down on one of the barstools, placing your cup down and sliding it over to the bartender.
"Another, please." you said simply. Mr. Smiles blinked at you before grabbing your cup and pouring more of the golden liquid into it.
"The 'Another' for the lady." he said cheekily, to which you giggled. You snatched the cup up from the table and practically downed the strong liquid and forced back a gag when it burned your throat. The bartender chuckled at your silliness and leaned over the bar so you could hear each other better over the loud chatter of the Cloud Nine bar. (You and Kai always found the name of the bar to be hilarious)
"So, you never drink this much unless you have something to spill. Need to talk about something sweetheart?" he asked with a patient tone of voice.
You sighed dramatically and leaned back against your chair, deep in thought.
"I just. . ." you trailed off in thought before sighing again in annoyance at your capability of explaining your biggest problem.
"You just?" he tried to urge you to continue, but was rudely interrupted when a flock of angels came bursting into the room.
"His Holiness, Archangel Michael needs to discuss important matters in Town Square. Everyone present is required to make an audience immediately."
Murmurs began to fill the room in confusion of the sudden announcement. You raised your brow at the bartender, quietly asking him if he knew what all the commotion was about. He shrugged before continuing on with putting the remaining glasses away.
"Hey, partner, we need to head out to Town Square." Kai said, putting a webbed hand onto your shoulder. You nodded and stood up, following close behind your two buddies. Molly, like always, had a small hop to her step as if she was always happy and excited about things. Her partner smiled at her giddiness and soon began to also skip along with her.
Oh, how much you missed being able to have someone to be close with. And once again, your thoughts began to turn back to your late husband, Vincent.
You missed him so much.
And you were fully aware that your beloved Vincent was in Hell. The place you were also sure to go to when you kicked the bucket. But alas, here you are, in the city of silver and gold.
You stopped abruptly when you reached Town Square and noticed how big of a crowd was already there. Thousands of angels and souls alike, all stood cramped up around a huge balcony that belonged to Archangel Palace.
The chatter began to quiet down when the all-loved Archangel Michael stepped up to the balcony and waved to the crowd to silence their speech.
Kai bent over to you and whispered about how interesting things were going to get. You didn't respond, but instead gasped when a photo got projected onto the side of one of the Palace's huge spires. It was a really bloody scene: demonic-like creatures were sprawled all over the ground, torn to shreds from what you could tell. What made you feel faint, however, was the carcuses of angels. What the fuck were angels doing in Hell?
It seemed that a lot of other people were questioning the same exact thing, and Michael, once again announced order from the crowd and the only sound remaining were the hushed whispers.
"It has come to my knowledge that a secret organisation has been founded without my permission. Adam, the first man, and Sera, have been discovered sending down angels every year to kill them." He stopped mid explanation and waved his hand over to an angel that stood close to him. A scroll was placed into Michael's hands, and he unscrolled it and began to read whatever was written onto it.
"According to the words of Sera: Hell has become too overpopulated, and a risk of war could arise. Exterminations have been a necessity, and is, therefore required to keep balance between Good, and Evil." Michael immediately crumpled up the scroll, and threw it back at the poor angel that was beside him to catch.
"This is all tyranny, of course. Me and the Council did not agree to such lunacy, which is why, we are going to have a public vote as to whether or not Sera should be ex-communicated from Heaven."
A loud gasp came from the crowd.
Especially from Molly, who also seemed to begin to tear up.
"That means she'll be thrown to Hell!" she choked back a sob in surprise. Kai patted their girlfriends back to try and sooth her large and soft heart.
You, however, were enraged from the idea of angels going down and killing people. Your beloved Vincent was down there. What if he was killed?!
And like always, your spiral of thoughts was interrupted when Michael began to speak again.
"Just to be absolutely clear, this is never to be discussed with anyone ever again. After the vote is casted, anyone caught discussing this topic will immediately be casted from Paradise, and into the pits of Hell for treachery. I cannot be clear enough."
Murmurs filled the Square as everyone agreed to Michael's proposal.
"Great! Well, everyone better head off to vote now! Have a great day everyone." And like that, he vanished in a cloud of golden smoke.
You didn't realise your jaw was hanging open until Kai mentioned that you looked like a venus-fly trap waiting for a bug to land in your mouth. You clamped it shut instantly and glared at them.
"Chill! It was just supposed to be a joke!" They huffed in faux offence. Molly giggled at her partner's antics, and gently rubbed her fingers in between Kai's fins that decorated their body.
"Calm down, love. We need to head to a voting booth so we can cast votes. I know what I'm voting for."
"Yeah, I can't believe such a thing was happening behind our backs! Who knows how long it has been going on?"
Molly sighed and rubbed her fuzzy face for comfort.
"I don't know, but I hope it wasn't for too long. I believe some of my family is down there."
"Yikes, that's tough. I'm sorry for that." Kai said with sympathy laced in their voice.
You blinked back tears that were forming in your eyes. You would not cry over the possibility that your Vincent was double-dead.
You were strong.
+++
You sighed heavily when you arrived at your small apartment later that evening.
"What a rotten day," you mumbled to yourself. As if on command, your pet land-shark Vark came running into the foyer. You smiled instantly and picked up the little creature and began to pet him between his eyes.
You and Vincent loved sharks. It was a shared passion you both had that made you best friends instantly. When you first got married, you both always joked of getting a shark and naming it Vark.
Well, you had the shark, just not Vincent.
You were thinking about him again, and it was making you feel bad once more.
Why couldn't you remember some things? Who or what was making you forget?
You placed Vark back onto the ground, who of course, whined with the lack of affection from your part. You stepped over the land-shark and headed over to your balcony, that had a perfect view of the Embassy of Heaven. The place you go to whenever you have questions regarding the after-life and anything else.
Maybe there you would find answers.
With a new destination in mind, you grabbed Vark's leash and hooked him up to it. Vark began to wag his tail (well, his fin) in excitement about where you would be taking him. You smiled again at your pet's adorable-ness and began to head back outside once more.
The streets of Heaven were very peaceful. Just about no soul was out and about. It made sense since it was rather late. Around eleven o'clock actually.
Soon, the golden pillars of the Embassy came into view, and you let out a sigh when you realised it was still open. You approached the heavy double doors and swallowed back a scream when they opened up automatically. Vark found it hilarious however, when you just about died a second time from a mini heart attack.
You huffed at your shark and headed inside the golden-themed building and found that it was practically empty. I mean-duh it was empty, it was basically in the middle of the night.
A Cherub, from the looks of it, approached you and gave you a rather judgmental look over.
"Honey, I'm sorry to say this but no pets are allowed." the Cherub said with an irritating tone of voice.
You stared at the flying goat-creature and rolled your eyes.
"Vark, is a service pet. I am afraid you can't throw him out." you lied with a fake smile. One thing that Vincent taught you to do well, was fake things. You were especially good at putting on a fake show. One of the things that, once again, surprised you that Heaven looked over.
Wasn't lying a big sin?
The Cherub interrupted your thoughts when she cleared her throat rather obnoxiously.
"Alright honey. Whatever you say. To what do I owe the pleasure of assisting you with this evening?"
"Oh, well. . .I am not so sure how to explain it." you answered truthfully; slightly cringing at your lack of effort of just telling her.
The Cherub pulled out a clipboard from thin air you assumed (since she most certainly wasn't holding one earlier) and began to scribble something onto it.
"Well, Mr. Heart will be able to assist you with whatever, 'complicated' issue you have got going on." She handed you a piece of paper that had practically illegible handwriting on it, and pointed to a corridor that led to a couple of office rooms.
"Hope you find what you need, honey. Good night." and like that, she sauntered off to what you assumed to be her office. What a weird person, you thought with a click of your tongue.
You began your tread to Mr. Heart's office, and stopped when you reached the door. You lifted your hand to knock but stopped when the door was flung open and a rather energetic angel stepped out of the room.
"Hey there! You must be one of the 'poor souls' Chili sent to me! Come on in!" he moved aside and held a hand out for you to shake, to which he practically tore off yours when he shook it rather rigorously.
"The name is Heart! What's yours m'lady?"
You mumbled your name back and he let out a very loud laugh.
"Why, Mrs. Holland! Quite the pleasure to be meeting you!" 
You nodded your head and held back a gasp when he pulled you by the hand into the office.
"So, tell me what has troubled you enough to venture here so late in the night?"
You opened your mouth to begin speaking, but clamped it down when you couldn't find the right words to say. Damn it, you were nervous. You couldn't, however, pinpoint if it was from the very very close proximity of the Angel, or the lack of knowledge of how to explain your memories being jumbled up.
You could begin by telling the angel to take a few hundred steps back.
"Sorry, but um, could you step back a bit?" You asked with a shaky breath. The Angel smiled with pearly white teeth, but didn't seem to move an inch.
"I can't hear you clearly if I am too far back. It is best if I stay here." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. (or Heaven)
You nodded, even though you doubt that was the truth. You mentally noted to never come back here again once you're down getting some answers.
"So, I have a question." You began.
"Everyone that comes here has questions. But I can't exactly be sure that your question is legal to answer or not."
Your eyes widened in curiosity. Some questions could be illegal to ask? Flashbacks from today's event clouded your thoughts, but you immediately shook them away. A traitor is how you would be viewed if you discussed with anyone about today. And you would be quite foolish to bring it up with an official member of the Council.
"So, you were saying, Mrs. Holland?"
"Why am I not able to remember some things about my life on Earth?" You may as well pull off the bandage and stop dancing around the bush in fear of being judged. Your worries worsened when the Angel's eyes seemed to darken a little.
"Whatever do you mean, darling? What memories?"
"That is the whole point! I know that I can't remember some things! I just don't know what." frustration was very clear in your voice at this point.
Mr. Heart laughed wholeheartedly as if your 'situation' was the funniest thing anyone has ever told him.
"Well my dear, no need to get all fierce with me! I only want to assist you. And it seems that you are treading on very dangerous waters. I would watch out if I were you."
You swear your eyes became fire. How dare he act as if your troubles were something scandalous! Vark began to lick your leg as an attempt to calm you down, which worked for a moment until the 'ever lovable' Mr. Heart reached a hand out and began to rub your shoulders as if he had any right to touch you.
Vark, being the wonderful pet he is, noticed this and bit his leg. The angel howled in pain and kicked your beloved baby and he began to wail in pain. At this point, all you saw was red as you lunged onto the man and began to beat him up with what some people would call a 'mother's fiery.'
Some raised voices from outside of the office eventually joined the chaos of the room, and you were dragged off the very-much battered up Mr. Heart. Well, Mr. Heartless to you.
"Mrs. Holland! How dare you strike a Seraphim! That is considered treachery to the Hierarchy of the Council!" the same Cherub from earlier screeched at you in a high-pitched tone.
"Well I'll be damned! He touched me without consent and kicked my pet! I was defending myself-"
"You lie! One sin after another! How could you!?" you felt yourself being picked up from two service angels, and being dragged to another room, your shark following you right behind.
"Where are you taking me?" You shouted, attempting to pull off the two angels that were holding you roughly.
"We're not taking you anywhere. You are going to be sent somewhere." the Cherub said with a malicious tone of voice. You bit back a sob when the words processed in your head.
They were going to send you to Hell
You eventually approached a door that read 'Employees Only' and met a room that had an arch that took up the entire floor.
The portal to Hell. The place they were going to toss you into for something utterly stupid. How hypocritical of them. Heaven, the place of love and peace? My ass!
The Cherub flew over to a panel on the side of the wall, and loud sirens were heard throughout the room. Hell, you bet the entire 'cloud kingdom' could hear the loud blaring the room was making.
A red coloured portal began to appear on the ground within the structure of the arch. You gulped and felt tears begin to dwell in your eyes.
This was it.
Good-bye Heaven. Good-bye Kai and Molly.
You could hear Vark wailing from the loud noises and you attempted at twisting around to look at him. Your last attempt at begging for your shark's mercy was cut off when you were tossed into the portal.
You fell for a moment.
Then everything went dark.
+++
What awoke you from your 'dreamless sleep' was the feeling of something wet being dragged across your face. You moaned in pain when everything came crashing down on you. Literally.
Your back hurts, your head hurts, hell, even your face hurts.
You opened your eyes and noticed your beloved land-shark was on top of you, licking your face. You didn't feel anything but pure joy at that moment when you realised your shark wasn't going to be left all alone up in Heaven.
"My baby! I thought I wouldn't see you again!" you cried aloud and clutched the shark tightly against your chest. Vark seemed to love the attention and began to get all giddy from your loving embrace.
You pulled away from him after a few minutes, and began to observe the scenery around you. You appeared to be in some sort of alleyway, noting that there was garbage and other things that you didn't care to find out what it was exactly. You stood up slowly, and nearly fell back to the ground when you felt your knees shake.
Damn, you fell hard.
(Not as hard as you fell for Vincent though)
Vark noticed that you were in pain, and began to lick you again as a way of comforting you. You smiled softly and patted his smooth head in reassurance that you would be alright. Vark got the memo, and jumped from your arms. You attempted to stand again, and lent against the wall for support.
"Vark, I need you to do me a small favour." You said with a small voice. Vark wagged his fin and his tongue poked out of his mouth in anticipation for what your next words would be.
"Can you go up ahead and see if there is anyone that can help me? I don't think I'm going to be able to get around."
Vark tilted his head to the side in slight confusion to your words, to which you sighed heavily.
"I'm hurt Vark. I need help." You said a bit more simply. Vark recognised the phrase from when you trained him years ago, and immediately ran around the corner of the alleyway in search of some suitable help.
Who are you kidding? This is Hell. Why would anyone want to help? You sighed and placed your fingers on the bridge of your nose to attempt to relieve some stress that was building up.
What a rotten day.
+++
Minutes turned into hours, and you began to grow weary that something had happened to Vark. That is until you heard the familiar pat pat of Vark's fins.
You looked up from the corner you were hiding in, and noticed a very tall demoness was approaching you with Vark and-was that Molly?
"Oh my gosh! Are you alright?!" The demoness exclaimed with pure worry in her tone. You smiled weakly and shook your head.
"No, I-I'm sorry if I'm a bit of an inconvenience. You see, I was kinda kicked out of Heaven? And I'm injured from falling. . ." You babbled on. Maybe you hit your head harder than you thought.
The demoness held a sympathetic gaze in her eyes, and she looked over to her companion who was observing you as if you were an anomaly.
"Wait, you're from Heaven?"
You nodded your head, and the fellow seemed to get all smiley. Why? Who knows.
"That's crazy toots! Ya know, my sister is up there, I wonder if you eveh got to meet 'er."
You shrugged nonchalantly.
"I didn't meet much folk up there. I'm not much for socialising."
The spider-like dude nodded his head in understanding.
"'Tis fine, we are all different. Anyway, the name is Angel Dust, and this is her majesty Charlie." He pointed to himself then waved one of his other arms to the blonde demoness, who you now know as Charlie.
She was beaming with complete and utter joy. Why do they both smile so much when they are in the fiery pits of inferno?
"You need to come back with us and tell us EVERYTHING! You could be so helpful for my hotel!" Charlie began, but then immediately stopped once she noticed you were very much lost.
"I'm so sorry for being so direct with you! I'm Charlie, as Angel said. I should've asked if you wanted our help first. I mean, of course you want my help! I mean, do you?" She awkwardly trailed off when she noticed that you were staring at her as if she had grown another head.
Hotel? What does she mean by that?
"What she is trying to ask is if you needed a place to stay?" Angel asked, brushing his hands through his hair (was it hair?) and smoothing it over. His hair (it was definitely not hair but you didn't know what else to call it.) reminded you of Molly, and your heart ached at the thought of Kai and Molly going to your apartment and not finding you there.
You felt tears welled up in your eyes, but you tried hard to not look like you were about to burst into a puddle of sadness and utter hopelessness.
Charlie noticed this, however, and she crouched down to your height and engulfed you with the warmest hug you've ever received in a long time. You felt the dam break, and immediately you began to sob. At this point, you don't even know what you are crying over.
Maybe it's for everything that has happened over the past-decade?
Decades?
You were not entirely sure at this point honestly.
You both eventually entangled each other from the hug, and she offered you a hand to help you up. You took it gratefully, and stood up slowly to prevent yourself from falling back over. Charlie smiled at you softly, to which you grinned back.
"Alright now, are we headin’' back to the Hotel?" Angel asked with a hint of impatience in his voice. Charlie nodded her head, but looked back at you to make sure that is what you wanted. You properly smiled that time, and they both took the answer as 'yes'.
+++
The hotel was nothing like how you imagined. You learned on the trip there that the hotel was a place where sinners dwelled to try and redeem themselves to earn salvation.
That was the most wholesome thing you thought you would ever hear in Hell. There's hope for you yet.
You were currently in the lounge of the hotel, where a lot of 'group activities' took place on a daily basis. You and Vark were on top of a very comfortable couch that was tucked away in a corner. You were honestly so comfy, that you felt yourself dozing off. Until you heard a voice that made you want to rip your ears off.
"Why, hello! I didn't know our beloved Charlie had once again found another unfortunate soul to try out her silly project!"
The man's voice sounded muffled, almost as if he was speaking through some sort of antique microphone from ages ago. You made eye-contact with the looming figure, and noticed he reassembled a deer in a strange and unique way.
Who the Hell was this man? And why is he so-red?
As if he could read your mind, he shoved his hand in your face to shake and practically announced to the hotel who he was.
"The name is Alastor! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!" You smile you returned was weak but you still shook his hand, and sighed when you realised he wasn't about to break your hand like the other guy. Mr. Heart or whatever his name was.
That stupid prick. You were mad at him again.
"No need to frown, dear! Smile some more! You're never fully dressed without one!"
This Alastor was starting to get on your nerves. And he seemed to be a staff member of the place, which only meant you would be seeing him a lot. That is if you stayed. Also, his own smile was slightly unnerving. . .not to mention kind of creepy.
"Alastor! Leave the poor girl alone." you heard Charlie call from another part of the lounge. Alastor rolled his eyes before he turned hot on his heels to argue back that he was simply 'introducing' himself.
Whatever, you didn't really care.
You stood up from the couch, Vark following closely, and began to sneak away from the chaos of the Hotel. You eventually found yourself on the sidewalks of the busy street of some part of town.
One thing you noted was how many bright neon lights decorated the sides of buildings and billboards. Vark seemed to be lost in the flashing colours and noises of the advertisements playing on TV's.
There were so many TV's. Which triggered a long lost memory that you never remembered from your time in Heaven.
It was a year or so after you and Vincent got married. He had just landed a job as a news reporter for a small company that was local to your hometown. You were aware that he loved all the new technology that was being released too quickly to follow up on. But you never expected him to one day bring back an extremely expensive TV for your living room.
"Vincent! What on Earth did you get this time?"
He rolled his eyes and rolled a portable box TV into the kitchen for you to examine.
"I got us a TV. It's especially for you so you can watch me when I'm on the afternoon news." He said with a cheeky smile. You chuckled at his antics and headed over to him to give him a hug.
"You're such an attention seeker, and you're also adorable."
He only laughed at that, and hugged you back just as tightly as you.
"Only for you doll, only for you."
The memory faded, and it left you standing idiotically in the middle of the sidewalk. That was new, and not to mention, so heartwarming.
You missed Vincent. A lot. And you were aware you kept thinking about him. Must be because your memories are no longer blocked.
Vark began to bark at an advertisement when you noticed a man with a TV for a head appeared on one of the TV's close to you. He was talking about some sort of security system, but you didn't care. What you did care about was how familiar his grin was to you.
That wasn't a coincidence, was it?
Vark distracted you from your thoughts when he began to run away when the scent of seafood wafted through the air. You out called after him and began to spring after the shark.
How does an animal run so fast with fins?
You once again got lost in your thoughts and didn't notice that you and your runaway shark were headed towards a huge crowd that was forming in front of a building nearby. Vark, being so small, ran in between the demons of all sizes and continued on his way. You were about to do the same until you ran into someone and knocked yourself and the stranger down.
"Woah! Careful where you're running off to!"
"I am so sorry!" You squealed when you realised that you had unintentionally caused a scene. You had landed completely on top of a random person; in front of a huge crowd; and it was the same man with the TV head.
Ah, what luck you had. Your thoughts were cut off when the TV headed man began to look you up and down, which made you very...uncomfortable? But his gaze felt familiar, as if instinct was telling you you knew this strange man.
"I feel like I've seen you before, do I know you?" He began, but you cut him off when you scrambled to your feet when you noticed Vark returned to you with some fish in his mouth. Or what you assumed was fish.
"Vark! You are in so much trouble!" You announced, bending over to pick up the mischievous land-shark that has caused oh-so-many problems with you today.
You heard people around you murmur, to which you raised your brow to, but decided to ignore. You turned back around to again apologise to the man you so rudely knocked over, but found him staring at you as if you had hung the stars in the sky.
What was his deal?
You heard him mumble your name, which definitely made you jump a bit.
"What was that?"
He rushed over to you instantly and immediately grabbed your arm and pulled you into the building the crowd was forming around, completely ignoring all the commotion that began to arise outside.
You both eventually reached a secluded corridor, and you found yourself standing in close proximity with the man.
Who even is he? And what the fuck gave him the right to drag you around like a doll?
He called your name again, and you felt his hands gently cup your cheeks. You met his artificial gaze, and you all but gasped when it all finally clicked.
Vincent Holland. Your long lost and beloved husband.
"V-Vincent?" You stammered, completely bewildered that you had somehow found him in a city with millions of people. Maybe luck was truly on your side finally.
"H-how?" You started, but got cut off when a pair of digital lips met yours in a sweet kiss. Your eyes widened in shock: you were kissing a TV. But this was also your husband. (Who had a screen for a head somehow…)
You closed your eyes and wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, humming softly when he began to bite and suck at your lips. You pulled away, however, when Vark began to cry from the lack of your attention.
"Vark! Stop it!" you scolded him. Vincent chuckled at the interaction to which you raised a brow.
"What's so funny?"
"Oh nothing. I also have a land-shark named Vark." he stated as if it were the most obvious thing. Your eyes widened in disbelief.
"Are you being serious?"
"Yes, doll. I got him as soon as I found out you could have one. And I named him Vark because, well, we always joked about it."
You smiled so sweetly at this. You and Vincent coincidently having a pet shark and naming them the same was just too heartwarming to you. You pulled him back into another kiss, to which Vincent welcomed whole-heartedly.
You pulled away after a minute when your lungs burned for air, and noticed Vincent was staring at you adoringly.
"What is it?" You asked.
"I thought I would never see you again. You don't know how much I've missed you. I looked for you everywhere as soon as I was able to to it safely. Even though it didn't happen as fast as I wanted, I knew I would always find you." he whispered. He kissed your head gently, which you leaned into slightly.
You felt your heart ache a little, when you realised that he probably didn't get to live in an oblivious bliss to your absence. A perk of living in Heaven, you supposed, was the lack of memory of anything that could make you wish the fiery pits of Inferno.
"Me too Vincent, me too. I'm so glad that I found you again." you placed your forehead against his (screen), and shared a loving embrace.
You and your beloved Vincent, was once again, united. 
i finally looked over it, and part one of the prologue is up. if there is any mistakes i didnt catch, feel free to let me know!
also, i love vark. he carries this story ngl.
But I still will because this story felt very. . .rushed. even though it's so DAMN LONG HOLY SHIT.
-will
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mayuslob · 27 days ago
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Leander character analysis but i am 100% wrong
Okay so disclaimer this is most probably a huge stretch and me going insane over every detail BUT i need to get it out my system
Yapping below the cut be ready 🦭
Starting off with what made me start this, the Bloodhounds’ motto. When i was playing the demo for the first time, i was very caught off guard when they mentioned the sentence “as above so below” due to its religious context and meaning. This sentence is mostly linked with the character Baphomet, a satanic figure written by the author Éliphas Lévi on the book “Dogme et Rituel de la Haute Magie” translated to english “Dogma and Ritual of High Magic", written between 1854 and 1856. It can be portrayed in a lot of different ways, but the most embraced is that there cannot be heaven without hell (thus Baphomet pointing up and down), good without evil and viceversa. Now here it gets more interesting.
At first i thought they just chose this sentence for other motives, but then i started to dig a little deeper and realised that every single detail in Leander’s character is very much on purpose, specially his color palette and abilities. Let’s start with the colors which are directly linked to his powers:
Leander’s distinctive color is green, a dark desaturated emerald green to be exact. Emerald portrays good luck and balance in common symbolism, but it also can be tracked to this. See the thing is, the sentence “as above so below” doesn’t come originally from Baphomet, rather Lévi quoted it from a — not known to really exist— text called “The Emerald Tablet”, a story with different theories around its origin; the story revolving around a fictional character named Hermes Trismegistus (this is important for later). So here we have that the color emerald is directly connected not only to Leander’s palette but to the Bloodhounds’ motto. But wait!
there’s more
See this is where you ask, okay but what does The Emerald Tablet tell? well around the years it was most referenced, it was used by the islam and european alchemists and considered fundamental. Of course as time went by, the text was implemented in other practices such as occultism and magic. This is where the figure of Hermes is pretty interesting regarding Leander, due to his character being described as a “physician, a magician and a spiritual person”. That’s right guys, a fucking magician much like our beloved Leander.
Going further into Hermes’ character, he is a syncretic combination of the Greek god Hermes and of the Egyptian god Thoth, the god of the night, wisdom, magic, and the final judgement (plus others but these are the ones we’re gonna focus on). With this we have some things that could describe Leander, specially wisdom and magic due to his vast knowledge surpassing the Senobium (as mentioned by MC if you choose The Alchemist path) but we still have two things left, the night and the final judgement.
We know from the game devs that Leander is not a good person to say the least, just showing a façade of his true self. So i think that the fact that his fatal flaw is crossed out and this fundamental detail could be related to those two attributes Thoth has. PLUS if you see Leander’s outfit he is wearing a belt decorated by two moons, linking him to the night.
Leander is mysterious but strangely sweet to the MC, even after being aware of their power and danger, even to a point of growing overly interested in them. He promises us balance, a normal tranquil life, the answer to all of your problems. From what he has shown us so far he is very protective and even a bit obsessive, always insisting on Mc coming to him for help, giving us an impression that maybe he is more than meets the eye.
In conclusion, i think Leander will be a wayyyy darker character than we expect, greedy for knowledge — fact shown in his trailer silhouette quotting “mages lust for power, it’s always their downfall” — which is why maybe he’s so obsessed with MC. He wants wisdom he’s thirsty for it to insane extents we might see in his route. Also not forgetting Bloodhounds’ motto and its meaning, i believe we’ll see his version of what justice is and how if he is so good with us in the beginning, how dangerous is he in reality?? specially if both Vere and Ais have tried to kill him. I’m super excited for this game.
Im a 100% sure there’s things i’ve missed, so if anyone wants to add any info or theory they have PLEAASE do id love to hear.
Little detail i left out because i think it would be too much but Leander wearing a key on his outfit is so made on purpose i can’t elaborate.
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qqueenofhades · 9 months ago
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it's concerning what people are saying and thinking is activism. I've unfollowed someone who unironically reblogged something that said death to israel. how is that going to help? if anything that's just making a more hostile environment. support palestine but maybe cool it about what you say about israel considering why it exists in the first place
There are a few reasons for this, and the first is that the western left is so absolutely goddamn terrible about recognizing its increased and violent radicalization. I can't tell you how many posts I've seen to the effect of "the far right wants to kill everybody but the far left just wants healthcare for everyone uwu." First, by their own extremely warped and constantly biased perception, that would actually make the mainstream Democratic Party "far left." The party might disagree about how exactly the actual mechanism for better/more equitable healthcare should be implemented (etc. etc. if you oppose instant Medicare for All with no other transition period or hybrid options, YOU ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AS A FASCIST!), but that's now a central and uncontroversial plank of official Democratic party policy. But since as we know, BOTH SIDES ARE THE SAME!!!, clearly that can't be what the self-defined "far left" actually wants. Witness how we've had several days of intense and valedictory social media approval and worship of a mentally ill person's violent and public suicide, because it was done for the "right reasons." This person should have been given help and support, yes, and we never know what's going on in anyone's head. But if I was someone also contemplating suicide, this whole "it's the right thing to do and you should just burn yourself to death and announce it's for the Right Cause and you will have legions of adoring admirers" would be hella hard to resist. This is going to directly cost more lives.
We point out all the time that the far right has become a fascistic death cult of authoritarian personality, but the online far left is now absolutely just as willing to make "you should die and/or kill yourself and others for Ideology" a central part of their platform. We've had endless rhetoric about how the violent Glorious Revolution is the only answer and society is irretrievably broken. This is casual, constant, inescapable radicalization, and it's presented as the only way to "do" leftism. So of course the rhetoric gets increasingly insane and genocidal (while insisting that all they want is to "stop the genocide"), and it's more and more normalized. We've had people reblogging posts that are almost entirely lies, because they "want to highlight" one sentence or half-truth they agree with (and apparently decided the best way to do this was to uncritically amplify the misinformation, rather than making their own post and trying to push back on it). We've had people admitting they're afraid to lose friends or be attacked on social media because the Groupthink is so pervasive and violently radicalized. This is not normal and this needs to fucking stop.
Secondly, and this is inescapable especially in regard to this particular conflict, the western left is absolutely steeped in antisemitism through and through, and it has no desire either to examine that or even think it should. It has become absolutely mired in the "antisemitism is a Good and Necessary and Correct belief to have and it's not actually a prejudice, it contributes to social justice because all Israelis and/or all Jews are evil settler colonialists constantly genociding innocent Hamas and/or Palestinians." This is why, as I keep saying, it's not that hard to support Palestinian self-determination, statehood, dignity, freedom, and a stop to the indiscriminate slaughter of Gaza, while not actually thinking that the way to do this is just to be wildly antisemitic at all times and calling for the genocide of Israel to be substituted for the genocide of Gaza. That does not actually reduce the net amount of genocide in this world!!! I thought you wanted to stop it, not turn it loose on another group of people who "deserve it more!" JESUS CHRIST!!!
On that note, even if you don't agree with every single premise or point it makes, a lot of people on this website (and on Twitter, but yeah, uh, good luck with that) need to read the following article in order to understand, as I keep saying, how deeply virulent antisemitism has become an unquestioned tenet of virtuous faith among the western left. Content warnings for some very graphic depictions/discussions of violence, including sexual violence, but that's not an excuse. If you've found yourself posting or agreeing with any version of the "Jews/Zionists/Israelis are all collectively responsible for this while evilly torturing innocent non-Jews" thesis statement, READ IT. Y'know, read it anyway. Try to get the first and most basic grip on the fraught and violent history of antisemitism, which is quite literally the oldest prejudice in the world, and how that interacts with and negatively informs the way in which supposedly well-intentioned western leftists are reacting to the current situation. As I said in an earlier post, I don't care if your "good intentions" (the road to hell is paved with, etc. etc.) are solely about stopping the current slaughter directed against Palestinians. That does not excuse you from the consequences of the lies you spread and the genocidal violence that you advocate as a "better" or "more correct" kind of genocidal violence then that already taking place. So. Yeah.
If you run into a paywall, you can remove it by disabling JavaScript on the page (this can be done with most ad-blockers), or someone has also helpfully provided the full text as a pdf in this link. Read it.
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evesetchings · 8 months ago
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So in @novalizinpeace’s poppy playtime au, specifically in the cartoon portion, the critters have these magic pendants that give them certain abilities. This isn’t limited to the gang, and all sorts of different pendants exist for different characters, but there’s a catch.
In this post, they talk about how if the magic in the pendant overwhelms a critter, it can transform them into a myth, a magical, monstrous being with incredible power, but can sometimes be incredibly dangerous to the people around them.
So I decided to take the 8 main critters and turn them into horrible little beasties for my amusement, and now I wish to show you guys the fruits of my labor.
tw for mild body horror and psychological horror under the cut
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Dogday - Sol
This is the only ‘canon’ myth critter that exists in the au. Every time Dogday is pushed past his limit and gets too angry with something he transforms into sol, who is a mindless flaming warrior with no logic or regard for their surroundings. This leads to them being pretty dangerous to be around, but Sol isn’t evil, they just want to protect their user from any harm, and if left to their own devices, would probably self-isolate to protect themselves (and others) from harm.
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2. Hoppy Hopscotch - Notus
The first of my original designs. Notus is the transformed version of Hoppy, and has the same weather manipulation powers, just to a much larger degree. Although she mostly uses it to make her storms larger. Notus’s mental state is much more stable than Sol (relatively), specifically in that she can remember her past life, but not specific people, so friends and even family are hardly whispers in her mind, if even that. She is quite competitive, viewing her storms as a contest to see how big she can make them, and will never back down from a challenge, doing everything in her power to win, but she is also a graceful loser, and hates cheaters. Her name comes from the Greek god of south winds, who is associated with wetness and the coming of rains.
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3. Bubba bubbaphant - Ganesha
This guy’s name comes from the Hindu deity of new beginnings and the patron of the sciences and arts, who is also represented by a man with an elephant’s head and four arms. His mental state is similar to that of Notus, in that he can remember specific events from his past, but not people. He has become incredibly intelligent, being able to solve complex equations and understand lots of different subjects, but his already prevalent neuroticism has been turned up to eleven, with even the slightest infraction driving him to a rage, which can make him incredibly dangerous to deal with, but also rewarding, as his intellect allows him to answer many questions. He can also spin webs, because spider.
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4. Bobby Bearhug - Callisto
Callisto is a little different from the other myths. She can remember her name, and her past, and the people around her, but only sometimes. You see, her pendant’s natural power is to absorb the excess emotion around her, and it still does that, but if she absorbs to much, then it leads to her transformation into a massive bear like monster with one goal, to make the excess stop by any means necessary. This has led to her voluntary exile in order to stop herself from hurting the people around her, which causes Bobby a great deal of pain, but it’s better than letting herself hurt the people she cares about the most. Her name comes from a nymph who was transformed into (what else) a bear by a furious Hera.
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5. Pickypiggy - Limos
Unlike most of the others, Limos can hardly remember who she once was, much less the people in her life or what they mean to her. Instead she is driven by her one deepest instinct: to care and provide for the people around her. She works tirelessly to cook and prepare extravagant meals for anyone who might need it, leading to her neglecting her own health and her living environment. She also has to deal with a ravenous hunger that pains her every moment, and often leads her to devouring her dishes as soon as she finished, causing even further distress. Her name comes from the Greek goddess of starvation, which i don’t think is a very good comparison, but I can’t think of anything better, so eh.
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6. KickinChicken - The Roc
Kickin’s transformed state is probably the least actively dangerous to be around. He’s a large, powerful bird capable of flying incredibly fast, as well as being incredibly loud and aggressive, but never actively harmful. His mental state is kind of the opposite of Notus and Ganesha, in that he can remember specific people and places, but not his past nor his name, and goes out of his way to try and help others. The key word being ‘try’, as his loud and aggressive demeanor often end up causing more damage than assistance. His name comes from an Arabian creature that is described as a bird of prey large enough to carry an elephant, which I thought was a good choice, and I couldn’t find any mythological chickens that really fit him.
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7. Craftycorn - Apophis
Her name comes from an Egyptian monster that is said to be the embodiment of chaos and disorder, although Crafty is significantly less malevolent than her mythological counterpart. The main effect of her presence is the chaotic shifting of her environment, colors swapping and shapes changing into maelstrom of chaos around her, with the effect getting stronger the closer you get towards her, and any critter who does so has the very real risk of being torn apart. Apophis herself isn’t doing much better, with her entire body constantly melting into multicolored goop that has a consistency similar to that of candle wax. Not much is known about her mental state, as no one is brave enough to get close to her for risk of being killed, but there has to be something left of her as her maelstrom very much has the capacity to expand over the entire world and destroy it, the only reason it hasn’t is because Crafty appears to be holding it back through sheer force of willpower.
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8. Catnap - Ouranos
Ouranos is probably the one who’s the most ‘in there’, besides Callisto in her non murder mode. He can remember his past life quite clearly and the people in them. In fact the only difference between him and normal Catnap is that Ouranos is slightly more apathetic towards outside events. He’s floated off into space and now observes to world from the heavens, watching as everything drifts by, because he can’t exactly leave. He can, however, see his friends suffering, and wishes he had the capability to help them in any way he could.
Once again thanks to @novalizinpeace for the au and all concepts belong to her.
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house-of-the-sun-project · 2 months ago
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[ HoS ] ANCIENT EGYPTIAN AMULETS
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The Isis knot is just as iconic as it is mysterious. It is unclear what this knot is meant to represent exactly: some Egyptologists argue it may have been a very ancient form of menstrual pad, while others believe it had religious or decorative purposes."
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The Djed Pillar, representing Osiris' spine, is a powerful amulet used by both the living and the dead. Often made from various materials, it is also depicted in Egyptian art with a pair of hands and a feathered crown topped by the sun, symbolizing Osiris and divine resurrection.
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The Ancient Egyptians believed the core of our intelligence and mind was the heart, rather than the brain. They couldn’t determine this latter's purpose, so during the mummification process, they discarded it, pulling it out through the nose with a hook, leaving only the essential vital organs to be preserved for the afterlife. In fact, the heart was regarded as both the source of emotions and feelings, and the seat of one's entire being—no wonder it was shaped like a vase!
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Even those unfamiliar with Ancient Egyptian art recognize this iconic symbol. Over time, the Ankh, or 'Key of Life,' became synonymous with Egypt itself and its ancient religion. Some Egyptologists suggest that its shape may have been inspired by a knotted cloth, though its use was primarily decorative.
In some murals, strings of Ankh symbols were used to represent water, as it was the ultimate symbol of life for the Egyptians—everything originated from it, making the Ankh a fitting metaphor.
In other depictions, gods are shown 'spoon-feeding' pharaohs and the dead with an Ankh in their hands, symbolizing the soul being revived by the divine as it begins its journey to the afterlife."
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One of the most common artifacts found by archaeologists during excavations, the Scarab is an iconic amulet that served many purposes for both the living and the dead.
In life, it was used as a seal, a protective amulet, or simply as jewelry, often worn as a ring or necklace, typically linked to a golden wire. In death, it was frequently placed around the neck and functioned as a protective charm for the heart, earning the name 'heart scarab.'
The scarab was the sacred animal of the god Khepri and symbolized the sun.
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For the Ancient Egyptians, the soul was divided into several parts—nine in total, including the physical body. It was crucial that each of these parts made it to the afterlife, allowing the dead to be reborn in the Duat, the Egyptian underworld. The Ba, which represents our unique personality, was often placed on the mummy's chest so it could rest near the heart, another key component of the soul.
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In Ancient Egypt, the papyrus stem was a common decorative element. Temple columns were often shaped to resemble this iconic plant. Its frequent appearance in Egyptian art was partly due to its significant color: green, the color of resurrection, sacred to the god Osiris. By placing a papyrus-shaped amulet around a mummy’s neck, the Egyptians believed it would ensure eternal youth for the soul in the afterlife.
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The Eye of Horus, modeled after the left eye of the falcon god of kingship, is one of the most iconic symbols of Ancient Egypt. Found in numerous tombs, it was continuously produced from the late Old Kingdom through to the Roman period. It served both as an amulet to ward off evil and as a decoration on boats and mummies. Representing the moon and the righteous nature of the god, it is also closely connected to other benevolent deities, such as Osiris, Thoth, and Ma'at. Tied to the story of Horus's restored eye, it became a symbol of health and healing.
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Used exclusively in funerary contexts, this peculiar amulet depicts the index and middle fingers of a right hand, which were believed to 'heal' the incision made by embalmers to remove the mummy’s organs during the mummification process.
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beauty-and-passion · 3 months ago
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TBOB PART 3: OF BILL’S SOLITUDE AND BILLFORD (2/3)
Welcome, everyone, to the umpteenth analysis post regarding TBOB.
This time, time to talk about Billford because
it’s always the right time to talk about Billford
TBOB doesn’t just hint that there was something going on: it basically confirms it. And as someone who shipped them for years yes, it feels amazing to see the ship being canonized. Not that it wasn’t already canon before, but you got it.
For all disclaimers and premises, please check the previous posts and the main masterlist.
<- Previous post - Masterlist
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Kindred souls
Let’s recap: we have Bill, a being with a huge void inside him, a hole of solitude he isn’t able to fill - because how can you fill the deep desperation of being alone, because you lost everything and it’s your own fault?
He tries with love and friends, but his relationships don’t work, his friendships don’t work.
And then, Sixer comes.
*
Gifted like me
On TBOB, Bill says Ford’s IQ “was off the charts” and he was “wasting his gifts”.
In THE EARLY YEARS section, Bill says he wasn’t just “smarter than all the dull trapezoids and rhombuses”, but he also had “a gift, a rare mutation”.
In Journal 3, Ford says: “I am strange. I was born strange, I am attracted to the strange and the strange has always been attracted to me.”. Also: “my grades were too high and my social skills were too low”.
On thisisnotawebsitedotcom under the code EVEN HIS LIES ARE LIES, Bill says Ford “was half a genius. The other half seemed to be frozen at the age of 18, still a child, totally dependent on outside praise, terrible at understanding and relating to others.”
They both have a birth defect that makes them special, they are both more clever than the others, they are both strange, they both have terrible social skills.
Add that they’re both alone, rejected, outcasts, searching for a purpose.
Is it so weird Bill was immediately drawn to Ford and immediately considered him a perfect partner? And fine, maybe it wasn’t romantic - at first, at least. But the possible attraction is now A LOT more plausible.
*
(Potentially) bad like me
In TBOB, Bill says he looked at Ford’s possible futures and “giggled with delight”, because he was “destined for so much more”.
What kind of possible, immensely fucked-up futures Bill could’ve seen, to “giggle with delight”? Well, consider this: Ford isn’t a 100% good person. (Just like every human being and that makes him an even more compelling character, imho.) He has - always had - the potential to become a villain.
Starting from the series: in The Last Mabelcorn, as soon as Dipper (and we) find out he was Bill’s friend in the past, for a second we all got the impression that this guy was evil. Journal 3 confirmed that Ford has such a massive ego, to think that “Icarus didn’t flap hard enough” and that he’s so much better than everyone else. In TBOB, in the missing Journal 3 pages, he says Rudolph the Reindeer should’ve burned his oppressor’s workshop to teach them a lesson. In other words, Ford is not exactly the nicest, most caring guy on the block.
So yes, it’s very possible that Bill peeked into futures in which Ford turned completely evil and joined Bill. The possibility has always been present.
As someone cleverly pointed out here on Tumblr (forgot your name & post, sorry!), probably the only thing that saved Ford was that Bill wasn’t always present. From what we learned, Bill left Ford alone for long periods (maybe because he had to deal with other shit?), to the point Ford grew jealous his Muse was with someone else. Maybe, if Bill stuck closer… who knows? Maybe it would’ve been easier to convince Ford to keep going with the portal. Maybe Bill would’ve convinced him that opening it was a great idea. Maybe he would’ve convinced him that destroying his world (and, consequently, his oppressors) was a good idea too. “A lesson to all!”, as Ford wrote.
*
Same fascination for the stars
In TBOB we learn that Bill’s mutation allowed him to see the stars. He looked at them and “was ready to be one”.
Ford has always been fascinated by stars. His signature is “per aspera ad astra”, which can be translated as “through hardship, to the stars”.
They are both fascinated by the universe in the same way. They both aim at the stars to reach their dreams.
And that’s even more interesting, if we consider that Bill’s friends have totally different dreams that do not involve the stars in any way:
Pyronica: burn the entire universe
8-Ball: host a podcast
Keyhole: restart his high school band
Teeth is basically a pet so… uh… treats, I suppose?
And we know nothing of Bill’s exes, but I doubt they shared the same fascination, all while being so similar to him like Ford is.
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The endless flirting
In the missing pages of Journal 3 there is no homoerotic subtext: the homoeroticism is just laid here, in plain sight, with a flashing light pointing at it, in case you’re too blind to notice it.
Here are just a couple of examples:
A) “I think I’m starting to like you, Sixer!” / “I think I’m starting to like you, Bill.”: I’ve seen love stories starting with much less than this.
B) “Get out of my head” / “You first”: I can see them giggle with delight while saying this to each other. No way they said it in a less-than-flirtatious tone.
C) Ford says he has been contacted by “an interdimensional deity of knowledge… in a top hat”. He immediately noticed the top hat. In light of Bill’s love advice, now I firmly believe this is how Bill seduces people first. Well, congrats, Bill: the top hat worked.
 D) Ford comes back to his roots, by showering his Muse with compliments about how he “enriched my life and all he asks is just a partner and company”. You know, typical behavior of someone who isn’t infatuated at all.
E) The “IF LOST RETURN TO BILL” tattoo. And later on, Bill calls Ford “his property”. The toxic old men yaoi has never been more toxic, more old men and more yaoi.
F) On Ford’s birthday, Bill followed his own love advice and gave Ford rats as a gift.
G) Karaoke night. Just… karaoke night.
No, okay, more on karaoke night because that part is insane: first the “one thing led to another” which if it doesn’t mean “we fucked” it means “we made out like there’s no tomorrow” at least. Then the “I’m gonna, we’re gonna”... what, Ford? You’re gonna WHAT? Marry the triangle? Fuck him? Are we talking about kisses or should I pick up the BDSM scene in the Penthouse Suite- oh sorry, I meant THE LOVE CAGE?
I mean… I don’t even have to imagine something to make this couple work. It’s all written here. And if this wasn’t enough, then why not throw in some Fiddauthor too, in which Fiddleford is so busy making TWO gifts for Ford, to forget to get something for his own family. And he comes back to Ford, instead of at least trying to make up with the woman he married.
And since this STILL WASN’T ENOUGH, why not make a full “Love Triangle With The Triangle ™”, starring Ford jealous that his Muse was “off inspiring some other scientist” or “posing for some tapestry” (what, Ford? Are you afraid someone is drawing him like one his their French girls?), while Bill is jealous that Ford spends his time with “a third-wheel hillbilly”.
I mean… I always felt it was canon. I just didn’t expect canon to be an avalanche running over me.
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Honest like never before
If there is something more insane in these pages besides karaoke night, then it’s the “monster conversation”.
First Bill basically hints that he tried to undo the past and get his dimension back (for more details, check THIS post).
Ford replies, “I guess you can never really go home again, can you?”. And considering the use of the impersonal “you” and the construct “going home again”, they both seem to confirm my train of thought - i.e. that Bill tried to get his home back and that “home” isn’t just a physical place, but his parents and, most importantly, the love and affection he lost when he destroyed everything and experienced, for the first time in his life, loneliness.
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I don’t know you, but I doubt Bill shows the last speck of his home dimension to everyone. He may talk about Euclydia as an oppressive place, but actually showing what’s left of it? I don’t know, I think it’s a bit too… personal, you know? I mean, how would you feel, looking at something that reminds you of all the people you killed for a mistake?
This alone should be enough to prove how much Bill is trusting Ford here. He’s not just talking about his place like he did with his Henchmaniacs, he’s showing it too. He’s showing what’s left.
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Remember: to his other Henchmaniacs, Bill said he liberated his home dimension. In the Love Cage, he will repeat the same excuse - while showing Ford that the actual “liberation” means destroying everything.
This alone proves Ford is more than another Henchmaniac, a tool, or whatever other excuse Bill pulls up while talking about him. He told him, for probably the first time in his life, the truth: that his home dimension was destroyed. Not saved, not liberated. Destroyed.
And he could’ve still saved face. Ford thought Rudolph should’ve burned his oppressor’s place, so he could’ve accepted some excuse like “my place was absolute, total, utter shit, so I burned it to give a lesson to all people opposing me”. Bill could’ve taken the merit of ending it.
Instead, Bill said it was a monster. For the first time, we see Bill talking about himself not in positive, grandiose terms, but in a negative term. He sees himself as a monster.
And no, we can be sure he wasn't lying, because that's not the first time Bill "looked more distant than I'd ever seen him":
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And guess what, that distant expression appeared when he talked about his home dimension, how flat it was and how he "liberated" it.
But that’s not all:
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So, not only Bill sees himself as a monster, describes himself to Ford as a monster, but gives him an indirect warning too, by saying that the monster “would eat you alive”.
Hirsch truly wanted us to tear ourselves apart in angst and I respect him for that.
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And with that, let’s close this post too. The last one will come soon and it will be about the post-betrayal and how well Bill handled it.
Spoiler: not so well.
-> Next post
(How about a coffee? ☕)
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