#most of the time i can ignore this shit bc ive been to way too much therapy but.

[vanilladella]

actually fighting for my life tryna not cut this girl off even tho she makes me so happy n shes like one of my best friends just bc im an actual piece of shit n shes too nice to hang around w me. bc im mentally well

[bunnyathy]

my favorite and funny silly headcannons (not rlly) and ooc ideas about the batfamily:

Damian Wayne:

- has a dedicated social media accounts for his pets. he gets income and sponsorship from luxury pet brands all the time because of it. he doesn’t really care about the money he’s just happy his pets get to have free stuff that give them a better and spoiled life.

- bro’s a gen alpha he’s probably a brainrot humor kind of kid but he hides it well but it comes out at random times

- he’s a dedicated hater, he loved kendrick lamar’s drake diss songs

- his personal/ official Damian Wayne tiktok account is literally just a hate page for his brothers (but in an endearing way he still loves them)

- prefers watching reels over tiktok bcs of the funny comments and the unhinged reels that come out there

- Damian Wayne is a weeb… he was absolutely there during the Anime tiktok lockdown era (if he was even born yet idk) so he knows all the cringe weeb shit.. he quotes it at random times….

- Damian was strictly shoujo mangas and anime but Jon showed him My Hero Academia and he LOVED it. he respects Koda and likes his quirk. MHA was one of the only mangas he read that’s not shoujo lol. (lets ignore the part where there was official damian wayne art where there was a chainsaw man manga with him (i dislike csm))

- he probably did one of those kpop pc decora things out of a printed picture of his fave anime character cough bakugo and tamaki suoh cough (he got influenced by flatline nika)

- he most likely listens to Twice bcs Flatline suggested it to him (this is not bcs I am a once (yes it is))

Batfam:

- to be able to keep up with Brucie Wayne’s diva it boy appearance he occasionally does those derma clinic facials and time to time he invites his kids. Stephanie absolutely is always with him, Cass as well but she’s only there because Steph seems to love it so she’ll always do what Steph loves. It came to a point where Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson, Duke Thomas started to become pretty boys (Jason is not there he could not stand Brucie persona)

- there has been rumors of Brucie Wayne having a bbl and to prove them all wrong Brucie posted a gym workout where his focus was his ass. lets just say BRUCIE JUICY ASS?? on twitter was trending and the kids HATED it. maybe haha certain heroes liked it a little more than others lmfao

- Damian got hyperfixated on into the spiderverse and across the spiderverse he forced his whole family to rewatch it with him

- Jason got asked to come over to the manor by one of the siblings and took a sneaky pic of his whole body just to put it in one of those “dance if you love your family” ai dancing thing on tiktok. he never came back to the manor….

- Tim and Damian have this online feud in tiktok where they comment unhinge and insulting comments to their public official account each other but ofc its filtered so it can cross the tos. Damian once commented “I hope to see you hanging in the streets” and almost got banned from tiktok

- whenever any of the fam asks something from Cass that she doesn’t wanna do she goes “sorry I’m mute” (she takes advantage of her not so disability) Stephanie taught her that she said it would be funny. it works sometimes bcs the other was probably too tired to notice or just goes along bcs they think Cass learning gen Z humor is funny.

aight ive ran out of ideas they were just mostly damian and batfam AHAHAHAH

[employee052]

OKOKOK HERES THE AU IDEA

ive been revisiting Detroit Become Human bc of my partner playing it recently, as well as me reading some connor x readers that gave me this idea directly, plus adding in some other games that i feel like could fit, i had this idea:

(its not refined atm n hella rough draft so please ignore shit that doesnt make sense)

[CW DEATH]

The Narrator is an experimental Android named VA427 "Virgil", made as the ultimate assistant and sent to work at some office building

He follows the boss around, doing tasks given by them and walking around the office helping the boss manage it while they stay in their office

This is how he meets Stanley, an employee who is usually reserved around everyone except for Virgil.

He takes a liking to Virgil, signing to him and having chats whenever he passes by, and Virgil loves it.

The two grow close. Virgil likes Stanley because he treats him with respect and listens to him, Stanley likes Virgil because he's not judgmental and can understand sign language

However, as their friendship grows, the boss begins to assign more work to all his employees, causing most of them to be overworked with a few accidents involving people passing out on the job

Stanley is no exception, he stays late and does every task asked of him, Virgil is worried but keeps doing it since thats his task, however this is when he starts to deviate.

He starts questioning things during his time working, and realises his attatchment to Stanley

Stanley falls over one day at the office after staying overtime for a month straight for 3 additional hours.

Virgil runs in to help him as everyone else walks around him like its not a problem. Stanley dies shortly after in the office.

Virgil goes to call 911 when the boss stops him, telling him that its not neccessary and to dump his body in the basement.

if the police found out about the treatment of their employees, they could be sued, so the boss has elected to hiding the bodies and covering up their deaths.

Virgils furious, mourning the loss of his friend taken too early and the only person who treated him nicely. But the boss doesnt budge

they throw Virgil and Stanley into the basement together. Locking them in with a pile of dead bodies and all items that other dead employees used.

He goes to find a few spare computers and manages to find a way to hook himself and stanley up to it.

Connected to the PC, stanley's body and mind is uploaded. However, its not fully, since stanley was dead for a while before being uploaded, it only retains a few memories. primarily that of being in an office, and having a wife and an apartment, but not having the exact memory of who or what they looked like.

Virgil creates a VR world for stanley to live in. at first he had attempted to create sprawling stories for him just as stanley told him in past conversations, but Virgil hasnt really explored the outside all too much given he lives at the office.

He shifts the VR world so its centered around the office. He cant tell stanley he's dead either, so he acts as though hes simply playing a video game.

the next few years/decades are just the narrator falling deeper into the role of making stories for stanley and getting too into the video game idea. releasing the game offically however with stanleys consciousness only on his PC in the basement of the office.

during these years, is where im combining some aspects from portal blue sky and half life.

while virgil falls into the role of the narrator and is in the basement of this office with stanleys decayed body, the black mesa incident happens.

aliens come in, vorts n shit, and then the combine come in and take over. virgil doesnt ever see this bc hes safe in the basement.

decades pass by, then after a long while, an explorer wanders into the ruins of the old office building

they eventually find the basement and the narrators body hooked up to the computer and stanleys skeleton beside him

this explorer would take the keyboard and begin playing the game, until virgil, now the narrator, realises that its not stanley

however, so much time has passed and so little of stanley was saved that hes simply a dead man walking, an echo of a dead man, a memory

after a long time where the explorer and the narrator talk, the narrator agrees to end the vr simulation, he keeps it in his memory banks, but he agrees to not fully trap himself in the simulation to keep stanley going. hes gonna lay him to rest

getting up, the narrator finds his body to be alien to him, hes forgotten that he even had a physical form, and through the years of being put on sleep mode to allocate all processing power to the vr world, his bodys also decayed a bit

the synthetic hair doesnt grow, but begins to fade in its colour

his eyes dont work as well considering theyve been on standby mode, they still work, but theres a permanent blur to him that means he needs glasses

the synthetic skin on his face and hands only begin to sag and wrinkle

the parts of his body that dont have synthetic skin and are exposed from the rips in his clothing have rusted, the office building's basement being almost like the skip button where a break in the roof causes some water and plants and animals to enter and eat away at his body. making it rusty and making him slower to move

the explorer and the narrator leave the building, and take refuge in a small town of other survivors quite similar to eaden in blue sky, where the explorer lives

during the narrators stay here, he struggles to move past stanley, being focused and obsessed with him for decades before being brought out of it.

and here comes the whole reason why i got this au idea:

the narrator goes back to the vr simulation with stanley and the office, and shifts it.

what was once an office becomes a refurbished memory zone. with a desk for him to write in whenever the explorer sleeps and a place for him to calm down when tough things happen. its the closest he can get to a mind palace

however, hes not alone in here, he makes a small area for stanley to live in, he will never leave him and his mind, but hes moved on, hes past that grief.

he visits stanley in this new mindscape of his from time to time, to give an update, to just remember him, but he moves on.

the rest of the au would just be the narrator learning to take control of his life again, trusting the explorer and becoming more integrated with the townsfolk, managing his rusty body, and re-exploring his old hobbies that he forgot about.

ik i already posted the designs, but with this context, heres virgil and the narrators form before and after the parable

[sanzuballs]

getting needy/teasing when hes around a friend

ft: law, luffy, zoro, sanji || fluffy suggestiveness

hi im back again! i am on wc island, heartbreaking. idk how tumblr works but i would love to recieve requests and everything! i also apologize for any grammar or spelling errors. i barely proofread and my autocorrect is always off lol n i do shit LATE at night. anyways time to get into it! ALSO (late) HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

————————

law :

nahh he dont put up with that. while him and a one of his crewmates talked, you decided to cause some michief. you sat next to him and tugged on his shirt, kissed his cheek, and even pouted and whined. he ignored you. he wasnt going to let you have your way. the only thing he could think about is how annoyingly needy you are and how wet you probably were right now. but once his crewmate started giving glances to your short skirt that started riding up your thighs, he picked you up bridal style. he carried you to his bedroom. you whined as he started to take your clothes off.

“lawww, why did you have to ignore me?” you whine as your tits were on display.

“i dont tolerate dumb sluts that just wann get fucked all the time,” he takes your panties off and watches as your slick sticked to your tiny panties. “this is gonna teach you a lesson dumb baby. dont hold back your moans, i want everyone to know just how much of a slut you are for me, and me only.”

luffy :

its a beautiful day on the thousand sunny, ussop and luffy were out trying to catch some fish but ussop was slowly falling asleep. sadly, theres a heat between your legs that only your boyfriend could put out. he has been catching sea kings all day so he was a bit exhausted. you first decided to sit on his lap.

“ha, whats this about y/n?” he smiles at you. ussop bats a eye to you and luffy’s convo.

“i need you luffy.”you whisper into his ear. you pout at him and you press your heat on his thigh. he could feel the slick of your pussy through your panties. he wraps hims noodly arms around you.

“alright then. goodbye ussop!” he grabs you and gives you a piggyback ride to his room.

“im sorry i didnt mean to interrupt you.” you said as he pulled your panties off and flipped up the skirt you had on.

“‘s okay baby.” he smiles as he trails wet kisses up your thighs.

zoro:

god bless his impatient heart. and god bless your bratty heart…

it was probably the most boring day ever on earth for the straw hat pirates. you were drifting on sea to the next island but it was a long wait. zoro decided to snag some booze from the fridge and sanji was there, sharping his knives. but ofcourse you had to follow your boyfriend into the kitchen. while riding on his back, ofcourse.

“y/n! do you want something, ive got some time on my hands!” sanji says. zoro doesnt really mind because he knows how sanji is. and he knows your his. you smile at sanji.

“a martini please! thanks sanji!” you say. he whips one right up and zoro waits patiently to drink with you. them sanji hands you a beautiful martini.

“ro’ i want you to pour it in my mouth.” you look up at him and you mix your drink around and suck the straw.

“y/n,” he says sternly. “why are you like this.”

“c’mon please!?” sanji takes a quick glance and eyebrow bat to zoro.

“a lady should get what she wants.” sanji says.

“im glad someone in this room knows how to treat a woman.” you taunt your boyfriend. he obviously knew you to treat you well but seeing him mad is too good to miss. zoro takes the martini.

“open up.” zoro says. he then pours the liquid all over your thin shirt, revealing your lacy bra.

———————

i was gonna write for ace too BUT IDK BRO I DONT THINK I PHYSICALLY CAN BC I DONT THINK HES ALL THAT.

[jinxiguess]

GONE characters in a british highschool

this is like the stupidest post ive ever made also disclaimer i know NOTHING about the american school system so i think half of them are probably in the wrong years also i didn't want to put all of them in the same year so ignore how some of their ages dont even match up😭

SAM

year 11

ALWAYS forgets ingredients for food tech

and then burns everything

and then forgets to take it home and just leaves it in the fridge at the end of the day

never remembers to put money in his school account and quinn has to buy him lunch every single day

sleeps through maths

has the most obvious crush on astrid and the entire school knows

ASTRID

year 11

made it her life goal to get head girl when she was in year 7

and got it ofc🤭

try hard in every single class

and top set in everything

always has so much stationery

goes to homework club EVERY SINGLE DAY

besties w the librarian

somehow oblivious to the fact sam likes her

QUINN

year 11

always late to every lesson no matter WHAT

somehow keeps ending up front row in school fights and gets interrogated abt them

"can i go to the toilet?" and takes like 20 laps round the school before he comes back

takes 0.5 pictures of everyone

sells overpriced sweets at lunch and makes bank

threatens to fight people after school but never does

joined the football team but nobody ever passes to him bcs he cant play to save his life

EDILIO

year 10

accidentally downloaded a virus on one of the computers and nearly got expelled

gets squashed in the lunch queue

buttons up his blazer to look smart

makes sam join clubs with him so he isnt alone (he's scared of the year 8s)

tried to feed the seagulls outside the school

hangs out in the library w roger and denies that they're dating but literally everyone knows

so bad at pe that he doesnt even bother bringing his kit anymore n just gets sent to iso

LANA

year 11

literally never in class

vapes in the toilets w diana

ALWAYS in iso

dated quinn for like a week in year 8

somehow pulls absolutely everyone

so popular but everyone is also scared of her because one time she scrapped w drake and bashed his head in

brings alcohol to EVERY party

CAINE

year 11

head boy even though he does NOT deserve it

leads the year 7s to the wrong side of the school

pe try hard (screams "WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET THE BALL" at his teammates)

year 7s all have a crush on him

acts like he caught a disease after he touches a year 8

has like 60% attendance but the teachers still love him

never goes to form

always shoving in the canteen queue🙄

gets way too competitive over kahoot

literally never been sent to iso except that one time he shoved drake off his chair in the middle of class

DIANA

year 11

rolls her skirt up and always gets in trouble for it (and refuses to roll it back down)

vapes in the toilets w lana

sprays entire bottles of perfume every time shes near the year 7s

and then makes friends w them specifically to slag them off later

stalks the teacher's socials

uses xx or 💋 after EVERY SINGLE TEXT

has a pandora bracelet and wears different charms on it everyday

somehow untouched by school air

DRAKE

year 11

"WHAT DID I EVEN DO???" every time he gets sent out of class (he was literally jumping on the tables)

starts like half the fights in the entire school

scraps outside tesco like every single day

LOBS paninis at the year 7s

steals tesco trolleys

should probably just go live in iso atp

got kicked off the football team bcs he wouldnt stop slide tackling

literally on the verge of being expelled

DEKKA

year 10

1000% done w everyone elses shit

sits in empty classrooms at lunch n pals w the teachers

way too stressed abt gcses

actually really really good at music

so quiet but somehow everyone knows who she is

used to take the bus to school but decided she didnt want to have to deal w all the year 7s and stopped

got hit in the face w a netball in pe

BRIANNA

year 9

absolutely sprints to the lunch line

gets so mad whenever someone doesnt pass the ball to her in pe

and always fighting w caine in pe

shoplifts from tesco

forgets her pe bag at least once a day n leaves it everywhere

always getting sent out for talking back

LOST the form pet hamster

nearly blew up a science classroom

TAYLOR

year 8

always talking shit about everyone

makes those tips for year 7 videos

defo has pe first on a friday😭

snitches on EVERYONE

makes tiktoks in the bathrooms

spends half the lessons making her titles cursive and pretty

makes fun of the year 7s as if she wasnt one like two months ago

JACK

year 7

GIANT backpack

and probably gets trampled in the corridors

probably wears undertale or harry potter keychains (and gets bullied abt it)

always gets hit by paninis travelling at 1000kmph

got given a top locker and cant reach it

cries when he gets in trouble

PENNY

year 8

rolls her skirt up unevenly

side eyes EVERYONE

vaped in the toilets and taylor snitched on her

REFUSES to wear her blazer

falls over in pe and everyone sighs when she gets put on their team

got put in iso for insulting all the teachers

ORC

year 10

stabs his radnor fizz w a compass and sprays it at all the year 7s

also starts like a million fights

NEVER has a pen

grabs peoples bag straps and yanks them backwards

always steals the year 7's footballs and boots them into orbit

wears black airforces instead of school shoes

and is never ever ever wearing his tie

HOWARD

year 9

keeps getting mistaken for a year 7

hangs out with older kids to look cool

and then brags about it

sells vapes behind the school at break

tries to break up orc's fights and gets flung halfway across the pitches

MASSIVE blazer (looks like a roblox character)

SANJIT

year 10

probably a theatre kid

runs to every class so he isnt late

always skips pe

that one kid who highlights EVERYTHING

somehow manages to record EVERY SINGLE FIGHT (and then sends it to everyone)

holds therapy sessions in the toilets

that one asthmatic kid who screams whenever anyone sprays anything

[strwberri-milk]

Okay!! I got the perfect idea for the req 😈

Kaeya sending his wife!reader suggestive pics when she's at work and she gets very shy seeing it but ignores him bc she has to get work done. When she gets home he's in a very revealing outfit, he pins her down on the bed & only rides her strap to get back at her. He does praise her a lot tho and promises to reward her if she's being good & stays still. ofc its dom!kaeya and subby reader🤭 (im uncomfy with being degraded so i'd appreciate it if u keep that out in the fic) thank you <3

Please tell me what u think of this ask 💗

thank you for the request <33 i love this kind of kaeya sm and i hope you like this!! i gotta start working on some of my fluff for kaeya to counteract all the smut ive been writing recently lolol

Payback's A Bitch

Kaeya x AFAB, Fem Reader || Smut || 2 641 words

“And, perfect!” 

Kaeya grins to himself as he scrolls through the photos on his phone. All of them present him scantily clad, eye hooded and hand resting delicately on his waist. His fingers toy with the hem of his sweatpants, pulling it in such a way that it begins to reveal the hair at the base of his navel while simultaneously outlining his hard cock. 

He knows that his lovely little wife is going to absolutely love the photo he’s taken, sending it to you with a grin on his face. Thankfully, you’ve left your read receipts on so he can see that you’ve seen the message. He watches excitedly to see those little bubbles pop up on the other side, anxious to see your response. 

All he gets is the slow passage of time and no response from you. It’s not like you not to respond – anything he sends you is usually at least given an emoji or something really sloppily typed. As far as he knows, you just merely glanced at it and didn’t realise fully what he sent because he had too many clothes. 

He strips down a little more, taking off his shirt and eye patch. This time, his pants are pulled down far enough to see the beginnings of his shaft, poorly hidden under his boxers. Kaeya quickly sends that off, not expecting you to see it immediately yet no response. 

At this point he tries a barrage of images, only to be left on seen. At some point you stop looking, not even when he sends a video. It’s clear to him that he’s being ignored, but unfortunately for you his cunning mind was not about to let that happen without any sort of retaliation. 

“Kaeya? I’m home,” you call out, pulling your phone out again to read his very straightforward message. 

Get ready and find me. Check the box at the door. 

The box in question contains Kaeya’s new favourite strap-on. Your face flushes a little as you imagine a needy Kaeya at your feet, clearly worked up from all the photos and videos he sent you throughout your day at work. You’re not sure what he’s got in mind but you know that he’s got you all melted down in the palm of his hand, more than just a little desperate to feel his touch against your skin. 

Quickly, you make your way up to the bedroom after doing as he asked, deciding that it would make the most sense to find him there. The door swings open, Kaeya sitting on the bed with a shit eating grin as he eyes the straps sitting on your hips above the waist of your pants, pulling you in by them and bringing you to stand between his legs when he sits back down. 

“Can’t stop staring huh?” he purrs, loving the attention you’re finally giving him. 

“I got all dressed up nice and pretty just for you. Don’t you like it?” 

He brings your hand to run down his exposed chest, button up barely buttoned and tucked underneath the almost skin tight pants that outline everything on the lower half of his body perfectly. 

You lean down for a kiss, lips slotting together perfectly and you think that he’ll just let the two of you take your time with each other. Your hands rest on his shoulder, expecting to be able to just hold him when you’re suddenly thrown down onto the sheets, staring back up at that smirk he had before. 

“W-what are you doing?” you gasp, whimpering a little as he takes off your bottoms and readjusts your strap accordingly. 

“Punishing you. I haven’t been sitting around all day waiting for you just to have nothing to show for all that effort,” he grins, quickly working to lube up the toy. 

“You’ve spent all day ignoring me sweetheart, you really think I’m going to let you off that easily?” 

Your eyes go wide at the sound of his words, letting him continue as you try to figure out what to say in response. 

“So now because you ignored me, I’m going to ignore you. But, unlike your cold shoulder I will repay your kindness for all this but only if you behave. How does that sound?”

You know that he’s asking you for your consent right now, pausing in his preparation to see if you’ll try to tell him off. When you nod in reply his playful face returns, easily straddling your hips after removing his pants. He keeps his shirt on, only unbuttoning the rest of it as he slots your cock between his cheeks, his own twitching at the thought of finally having you inside of him. 

“Anything else?” you ask him. 

“Nothing. Just keep your eyes on me, alright doll?” he replies, words turning to a soft moan as he sits down on your dick. 

Kaeya takes your hands in his, fingers tightening as he slowly begins to bounce on your lap, biting his lip as he sets his own pace. You do just as he asks, wishing he would let go of your hands so you could touch him more. The way he looks on top of you always sends a chill down your spine, absolutely enraptured with the way his gaze keeps yours as though the lewd sound of his ass smacking against your body and the bobbing of his girth against his stomach was something he wanted to show off. You’re sure he actually does want to show off, practically preening under your watchful eye as his pace begins to pick up, making the noises slipping out of his lips even louder. 

“Fuck – your cock feels so good,” he sighs, throwing his head back to show you the delicious expanse of his neck. You’ve never felt the desire to kiss him more than right now you think, wanting to feel the way his throat constricts with his needy noises and hold his waist to help guide his pace. 

Like this however, Kaeya’s got you right where he wants you. He can see the way you want him to give you your freedom back, the instinctive bucking of your hips into him to hit that spot inside of him that makes him see stars. The way your eyes linger on parts of his body isn’t missed by him, smirking as you bring them back down to watch the spot where your bodies join. 

“What are you thinking about baby?” he starts to croon, leaning over your body with your joined hands to pin them down at the sides of your head. 

“Thinking about how pretty I look sitting on your dick? Or how badly you want to wrap that sweet mouth of yours around my cock? You’re doing so good just being a toy for me, just sit tight and if you make me cum then I’ll give you anything you want, alright?” 

“Yes darling,” you manage to whimper, heart stopping at the close proximity of his face to yours. 

Your hands clenched into fists as he lets go of them, instead holding you down by your wrists as he begins to bounce in earnest. Quickly, you match his pace with your hips and fuck into him, making sure to pay close attention to the noises he makes as you shift your hips around. Kaeya’s a good teacher and you know you’ve found your spot when he almost collapses onto your body at the feeling of the blunt head hitting against his prostate. 

He presses kisses against your neck, eyes closed in bliss at the feeling of you fucking him just the way he needs without even having to ask. He’s a little proud he’s trained you so well, knowing that your reward will have to be just as sweet. His hips eagerly buck into yours, pretty noises pressed right up against your ear, stuttered words of praise making you even more anxious to please him. 

“That’s it,” he starts, cutting off his own words with a hearty moan. 

“You’re doing so good for me. I knew you could fuck me just the way I’ve been wanting you to. Now, just sit still and let me do all the work, okay? I did say it was a punishment after all.” 

He sits back up, this time taking your hands and putting them on his waist. When your fingers dig into his skin lightly he shakes his head, almost about to scold you before you loosen your grip to his approval. Once he’s got himself back in position, he gives you a wink before resuming his previous pace, fucking himself recklessly as he focuses solely on pursuing his pleasure. 

You resist the urge to buck into him, wanting to aid him but judging by the way his cock throbs as it bounces against his stomach it’s clear he’s enjoying himself. Kaeya looks back down at you, letting his moans sound even lewder as he sprinkles in calls of your name, making sure the aggressive way he slams down on your hips keeps you pinned under his weight. You try to take your hand off his hips, wanting to grab his cock to add to his pleasure but as soon as he feels your grip falter he shoots you a glare, reaching for it himself as soon as you resume your grip.

“Look how hard my dick is for you pretty doll, it’s so fucking desperate for you to touch it. See how much it’s leaking? That’s all just for you darling,” he groans, hand moving up and down his shaft quickly. 

“You’re gonna make me cum – fuck – beg me for it. Tell me how badly you want me to cum for you,” Kaeya pants, barely able to hold back his incoming orgasm. 

“Please cum,” you whine, digging your nails into him – without resistance, thankfully – as you do your best not to squirm under him. 

“I want you to cum, please,” you continue to beg, eyes unable to leave his body as he cums with a loud moan of your name. 

He seats himself fully on your dick, now grinding against it as his cock fucks into his fist. You watch his cum spill over his hand, some of it landing on both of your remaining clothes. Kaeya’s hand finally slows, beginning to languidly stroke himself, prolonging his pleasure with a satisfied groan. He shudders lightly as his body enters the post orgasmic haze, getting off of you and undressing the two of you fully. 

“You got another round in you love?” he asks, parting your legs over his waist. 

“Only if you want to,” you mutter, not wanting to force him into anything after all the effort he went through. 

“Of course I do. I told my pretty baby I’d give her a reward, didn’t I?’ 

Before you’re given the chance to respond you gasp over the feeling of his fingers teasing your soaked slit, knowing that the damp spot underneath you was purely from watching Kaeya enjoy himself on your body. He leans over and presses a kiss to your lips at the same time as his fingers enter you, easily giving him access to your mouth. His tongue slips in immediately, stroking against yours as he kisses you. You can barely focus on the way his lips and tongue move, more preoccupied with the lewd sound of your wetness being fucked by his lithe fingers. 

You moan against his mouth, hips bucking into his touch as he scissors you open in preparation for his cock. You can feel it hardening against your thigh, wanting nothing more than for him to be ramming his thick length into you. 

“You want me bad, huh,” he says lowly into your ear, rutting against your thigh as you arch into him. 

“I was good, wasn’t I? So I get my reward?” you ask, getting your response in actions, not words. 

His length sinks into you as soon as you finish speaking, bottoming out and only giving you a moment to adjust before he starts fucking you at his own pace. He still seems pent up from earlier, your moans unable to be silenced as your legs wrap around his waist and nails scratch down his back. Kaeya watches hungrily as your tits bounce wildly at the rough pace he sets, your warm and tight pussy quickly reminding him why he was so obsessed with it. 

“You did so well for me, made me cum so fucking hard. You want my cum, don’t you? Want me to fill you up all nice so you remember who you belong to? Remember why you don’t ignore me when I work so hard to make sure I look good for you?” 

“Yes, yes, thank you Kaeya – you feel so good – I’m so sorry for ignoring you,” you cry out, hips writhing in his grip. 

“It’s okay sweetheart. I know you were busy but now I have this pretty body to play with, don’t I?’ he teases, bringing both his hands to tease at your nipples.

Your pussy clenches tightly over him, making it harder for him to fuck you but he doesn’t care. He gropes at your tits, practically using them as leverage at the same time as his hips increase in pace and strength. The way he slams home inside of you every time makes you see stars behind your eyes, sobbing when you feel his tongue beginning to tease one of your stiff peaks as a finger starts to circle your clit. 

“You’re so fucking tight,” he breathes against your chest, reveling in the fact that you’ve been reduced to whimpers. 

“Fucking me wasn’t enough for you, right? I know you were desperate to have my cock splitting you in two. You’re so cute.” 

He licks and sucks on you, the feeling of the suction against your nipple adding to your pleasure as your lower core tightens in anticipation for your rapidly approaching orgasm. Kaeya’s pace falters as you squeeze around him so tight he almost can’t pull out, only getting rougher with his mouth and fingers as he feels the sporadic way your walls clench over his girth to bring you to that peak. 

“Cum for me,” he growls against you, his words finally giving you that final push you needed to cum all over him. 

Kaeya’s glad you came quickly, unable to hold back as he folds your legs up to your tits, hands bracing themselves against the underside of your thigh and exposing your pussy to him. His eye stays trained on the way your lower lips spread to accommodate his size, fucking into you like an animal as he finally cums inside of you. You can feel his seed shooting inside of you, whimpering and moaning softly as his slowing pace draws some of it out of you, shaking under his weight and the pleasurable feeling of your orgasm as he draws it out for the two of you. Your arm rests against your eyes as you catch your breath, feeling Kaeya pull out of you and press kisses against your thigh. 

“Pretty baby,” he coos, pulling your arm back to press some kisses against your cheek. 

“You’re such a good girl, I knew you’d make it up to me despite ignoring me all day.” 

Kaeya wraps his arms around you, pulling you over his body as he runs his fingers through your hair. 

“Rest now, okay? I’ll be right here when you wake up. You deserve it.”

Kaeya’s warm words have you nodding, lazily pressing kisses against his bare chest. 

“I love you so much Kaeya,” you mumble against him, brain much too murky to say anything more profound. 

“I love you too,” he replies quietly, pulling your blanket over your bodies as he falls asleep with you. 

[hella1975]

would LOVE to know full details to the culture difference bestie when you've got the time because I'm kinda just a sucker for that. also. were we too nice for you tell me more about that

here we gooooo here's a rundown of the top things that were really jarring to me as a brit in america!

kinda dumb that i feel the need to say this but ive been burned before: americans, if you're going to send me shit about this list, please first reread what you've typed and ask yourself 'am i addressing this person as an actual real life adult that not only has experienced both countries she speaks about but also has perfectly functioning social skills that allow her to navigate what is and isn't a culture difference, or am i talking to her like a condescending little prick?' this includes messages like 'americans aren't actually ___, we're just ___ which clearly went over your head as a silly foreigner :)' do u understand how condescending messages like that are as the person who was there? this list is me saying what was strange to me AS A BRIT IN AMERICA. it is a comparison, not an objective statement of something ive decided is a fact about your culture. im not writing this so people can try and like. educate me on all the things i missed because america was just soooo complex. okay? stunning

you guys were SO nice like i think the best way i can contextualise this for an american is that the first time i felt actually comfortable (not that i was uncomfortable otherwise but i mean in a social sense) was when we were in new york city. no one looked at me no one wanted to talk to me people were shouting and being rude to each other it was just like home <3 the way americans are friendly is just so intense and it took me a good while to stop being so bowled over by it. like if you met someone one time they'd try and hug you and i found that very very strange

americans generally talk about their feelings a lot more and i dont even mean just from the people i interacted with bc that very well might have been because i just got on well with them so we were talking honestly, but even on commercials and things you guys talk about mental illnesses and such like it's a grocery shop whereas in england there's still very much a stiff upper lip culture about that kind of thing

you guys do speak louder. like objectively even 'quiet' americans were louder than most brits and would be glared at in public if we were in england just bc of the volume they were speaking at. you also inflect more. again i think this is another thing that boils down to americans being very bright and intense while the english are renowned for not wanting anyone to look at them ever. like a bug under a rock

FREE REFILLS!! i have not shut up about this but if you order a coffee somewhere then you have in fact ordered UNLIMITED COFFEE. the first time a waitress leaned over me to fill my coffee up i flinched away from her bc i was like what in god's name are you doing

if you try and make a hot drink in america then you are taking your life in your hands. you have to filter the water, find whatever apparatus this specific house uses to boil water, remind yourself that americans have a vendetta against milk so you have to use creamer which is 'exactly like milk' but 'you wouldnt drink it like milk' so what the fuck is going on there, and then by the time everything's done you want to go out back to curl up and die like an old dog. dont get me started on tea

one thing i thought was cute is that you guys say 'come get in the AC' the same way we would say 'come get out of the rain' like that's such a cute little human thing i think

AC itself is such a godsend but me not being used to it was kind of baffling to americans. boom's brother asked me what my ideal AC temp was at home and i just. looked at him bc i didnt even know where to start with that

it took me WEEKS to stop trying to get in the driver's side of the car

american ignorance is a very real very frustrating thing. 'whats that thing they do in europe-' idk bc ive never been to all of europe. 'when i went to europe-' where in europe. it is a continent. i got asked if we have fireworks in europe. bonfire night is older than the founding of america. there's just a genuine belief amongst americans that they're not even AWARE of (because it would be smart, nice americans that i genuinely liked saying these things) that america is the most elite country in the world and is the only place to have certain things

speaking of the european thing with americans, the fact that 'travelling to europe' is typically a bragging right over there and is seen as quite an upper class thing is very interesting. a lot of the times people would be bragging TO ME and it would go over my head bc id be like 'well anyone can go to spain'. i feel like shagaluf would give americans an aneurysm

the sheer size of america never truly registered with me until i was there like i cannot wrap my head around it. the uk can fit in lake michigan 4 times. you guys have cargo ships on lakes. the roads just go straight for miles and miles and miles. you have every environment and weather possible. literally obsessed

capitalism is actually way more intense in america. like yeah it makes sense america is thee capitalist country but i guess i thought because i was coming from a western capitalist country myself that it wouldnt change much. but like. billboards on roads. adverts while you pump gas. there is someone selling u something everywhere u look

tipping was so hard 😭 i knowwww it's necessary i understand the econ behind it all but i was so stressed all the time because of it 😭

YOUR STARBUCKS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN OURS

i knew i was going to have to change the way i spoke in america bc of obvious things (my accent isnt The British Accent that americans recognise, i use a lot of slang etc) but it surprised me just how much i had to change. like by the end of it i wasnt using any slang and i was enunciating every letter because i was just so tired of saying something just for boom to have to literally translate bc like? it was no fault of theirs or mine or even the person i was talking to but it just made me feel Weird and Odd and most surprising of all was that it made me feel stupid? and i guess that's bc i get a lot of shit for my accent over here too so im oversensitive to it but ive never properly felt more like a foreigner in a different country than i did trying to talk to americans

sarcasm. im just. like the running joke is that americans dont get sarcasm and id have actually preferred that i think bc what instead happened is you guys have AMERICAN sarcasm and it just. made no fucking sense to me at all. i literally did not get american humour even slightly it was probably my biggest thing when i was over there like i literally felt like entire conversations were going over my head. british humour is very dry so not only did i not get american humour but sometimes MY humour would be misinterpreted as well and the entire thing was just very strange lol

RIGHT ON RED????? RED MEANS STOP???? WHAT ARE YOU DOING????

[sugarrookiedesign]

A Date So Bad, I Made A Tumblr Post About It

I'm sorta just listing events from the date off but its not entirely in order, and I most certainly forgot a few details bc it was all so stressful and chaotic

Mostly posting this for myself and my friends to gawk at (hi! 💓)

We met on the hellsite grindr. They're conventionally attractive, a bit odd and confusing through text, but were nice and seemed chill overall. We exchanged socials prior to meeting up and they had no local friends or much online community at all despite living in the area their whole life but I chalked it up to being newly trans.

These were the red flags I shouldn't have ignored, if you're keeping track lmao

I agreed to come to their place and my boyfriend dropped me off

First off I aint judging, but their house was completely empty besides their room even tho they claimed to have roommates and werent moving/recently moved?? unrelated but justa odd vibe and potential red flag lol

They were so erratic from the moment I met them they just kept talking n talking, and were clearly not all there bc I couldn't understand alot of what they were sayin. It made conversation so hard.

We sat on the floor of their bedroom and smoked wii'd

They got very emotional about everything and would like jump up and like grab n shake me by the shoulders to emphasize the shit they were babbling 😭

Throughout the date they gave lil signs that they were a volatile person like they explained how they have had frequent fall outs w friends and family, their exs have called the cops on them on numerous occasions(explained in bits n pieces throughout the date during their semi-coherent rambles), and they had spicy reactions to me, just like, saying anything.

Thoughout the date they said the R word 3 times even after i told them it upset me, both to be funny and because they were mad at someone in their head, they made fun of muslims(amongst many others), told me "i dont go too far left, my political opinions will get me in trouble" and didnt elaborate when I tried gently asking about it.

They asked if I wanted to have sex like 4 times like out of nowhere in different ways and I had to say "Ive told you no 4 times, absolutely not, please stop" and kept pushing questions about my kinks. They also really hammered on how confusing polyamory was and made it clear that they thought it was dumb and funny that I have an asexual partnership w my fiance even though I explained it all to them prior ro meeting. :')

Like 6 times throughout our 4 hour date they made themselves so mad from talking(basically to themselves) about their traumas that they were like yelling at themselves while staring at the ground??

Surprisingly the thing that made me text my boyfriend to pick me up ASAP was they asked me to buy them food like over and over and made me explain why I didn't want to do that it was so creepy and weird and upsetting, ik it sounds dumb but just the way they were saying shit n pushing it really triggered my anxiety 😭

(obviously manipulative voice that i notice immediately): "aw you know I could really go for some icecream but ive been broke recently and i have no food in my fridge"

me, knowing whats coming, already so sick of them: "Ah I feel you I love icecream, and I've been nearly broke recently too"

"..please buy me icecream?"

"uh no im sorry not today"

"please?"

"uuuuh, what? I dont really feel like it i already bought us snacks and i dont have alot of money"

"you said *nearly broke*. Can you please?"

"no"

"why not you have money"

and just kept going and was like asking how much I had in my bank account 😭

i try to ignore my phone when im w people to be respectful so the first time i texted my bf was to get rescued right after they begged me for food money and they just stared at me silently for like 15 seconds while I was texting before angrily saying "Oh so do you talk shit to your boyfriend when your grindr dates aren't going well? Is that it?"

for my safety I had to pretend like I was willing to go on a second date but I blocked her everywhere except grindr before I was even out of her driveway 😭😭

its hard to fully explain how fucking weird and bad this date was

One last small thing lmaooo when she put a youtube video on for us to watch she just straight up unblinkingly stared directly at my face to gauge my reactions to it FOR THE ENTIRE VIDEO I STG IF THAT ISNT SERIAL KILLER VIBES DUDE

Im tired, I just wanted headpats but I put myself in danger instead uuuugghhh

Part of it was absurd and almost-funny, I couldn't believe what was happening at times, but it was also mostly just super stressful. Lots of thoughts n anxiety swirling through my silly kitty brain 😖

Im not judging them for being clearly mentally unwell and I really hope they heal and get help for the stuff they're going through.. but also they were an objectively bad person who I need as far away from me as possible!

[imustbenuts]

@polast-u-s

this hinges more on my interpretation of kiran so if you’ll humor me, i’ll start explaining why

so im working off the idea that kiran is a fire emblem nerd isekai’d into FEH. from there, i extrapolated a couple of common possible traits a person like that might have

possessiveness of heroes. the player would likely try not to let their fav FE unit go if they wanted to leave

obsessiveness. the player wouldve likely dug up all kinds of info relating to their fixation, be that lore or character wise. in short, imagine a player walking up to you and immediately going ‘btw i know of your most embarrassing vulnerable moment bc ive been watching over u! uwu’. (fuck that shit lmao)

arrogance/hubris. FEH is medieval and we’re technologically advanced so the natural assumption for some people is we just know better, for example

and if we assume that the leads in FE games are their avatar, or their window to look into the worlds, then you can start to see that an isekai’d person like that starts to have a perception of time in the same way a god or a divinity would. 2 years in fire emblem awakening would have been 5 minutes for us, for example.

and now, what if this player had a sense of how the FE world and its political systems should be? what if we had nothing but a single FE game world, say arachnea, and we see marth ascend the throne, only to see one of his descendants fucking things up in the next game. now, if the player now had the direct power to change things… would they possibly get rid of this descendant who has failed their expectations? maybe restore the nation marth built, through his journey of sacrifice, tragedy and blood, instead of watching it waste away?

you know, kinda like what eitri did?

replace marth with any FE royals meant to ascend the throne. alfonse, chrom, dmitri, alfred, alear, absolutely whoever and whatever. same thing applies.

eitri has all 3 traits i mentioned above. they're loyal to Niðavellir’s first king, possessive of his country and obsessed enough to engineer a crown that drives everyone but the ‘correct’ bloodline crazy. their arrogance is what ultimately does them in, their hubris borne out of that first love and obsession.

they summon heroes and breaks them, kiran summons heroes and seems to at least implant a suggestion. as far as i can tell, no matter how you’re meant to read kiran, they’re meant to come off as benevolent, so those three traits can be present, but not expressed overtly.

(as a thought exercise, would YOU let go of the unit you sunk orbs and feathers for? to build? if this was a real situation and these were real actualized people, are you, the player, benevolent?)

so when eitri says in their recording left for the summoner at the end of book 5:

@1:34: “And you, what incredible self-righteousness! Do you really think you’re any different?”

my thought when i saw that was just: ‘i love this antagonist holy shit’

uh anyway yeah thats why i think eitri is a reflection of the player. i might be reading too hard into this, but here u go.

as a final note, i think fafnir is a reflection of the player as well, but far more ignorant than anything. both kiran and fafnir are isekai’d into FE, and i think if there exists a player who is arrogant enough, they could totally take out alfonse and take over askr. but kiran doesnt despite the power they are clearly gaining as time goes on. i also read this as the world of FE punishing an outsider stepping too far out of line, so maybe its a good thing kiran didnt try to do exactly what fafnir did.

[just-being-leonest]

Season 2 Episode 6 stream of consciousness

I'm actually enjoying the start of this one!

Good solid animation from what I can see so far while still having Viv's style

Writing is solid so far

GOD FINALLY ADDRESSING THE HYPOCRISY OF ASMODEUS AND FIZZ

AN ACTUALLY FUNNY JOKE THAT HAD GOOD SET UP AND LANDING!!!

Personally not a big fan of the dick cannons but I can acknowledge that I can be sex repulsed in most scenarios (i.e. a show I'm watching)

I will say the little sperm confetti was immature, but in a funny goofy way

Oh God oh no Bliztø is there noooooo

Me too Fizz me too

I do like how Fizz is animated, I have a weakness for flexible stretchy creatures

Oh joy crim again

If I have to sit out an episode I was genuinely enjoying bc viv couldn't have been bothered to properly trigger warn an episode I'll lose it

Oh hey striker!

...did his voice change?????

Fizz looking genuinely scared was animated perfectly!

I looooove the colors in that painting.

I'm ignoring the names of the flies

"I'm here with feelings for hi-" WOW AINT YOU FUCKIN SUBTLE MY DUDE

I am really liking the animation this episode

Well Asmodeus finds consent sexy, that's nice at least!

Awww the froggy thing is cute

I'd watch a show about Asmdeus and Fizz (Ik I've been spelling asmodeus's name wrong I'm SORRY)

THE F E A R IN FIZZS EYES THE ANIMATION IS DONE BEAUTIFULLY!!!

Okay the pyscho/piece of shit line legit made me laugh good job

I like the details of Fizz being tied up a lot more tightly than Bliztø bc of his flexibility. I also love the way he's animated moving around while being tied up.

Fizz is me whenever Bliztø is talking for more than five seconds

"Can we talk about something other than my sex life" GOD YES PLEASE THIS ENTIRE SHOW IS BASICALLY YOUR SEX LIFE

The fact that Fizz nearly shoves his entire ass body out of the bars makes me wanna laugh

Okay as someone who stacks cards I felt that in my soul

OH

OH MY GOD

WAS THAT

DID THEY ACTUALLY GET BLIZTØ TO ACTUALLY

GENUINELY

APOLOGIZE???

FUCKING FINALLY

Never mind

Okay okay they fixed it

Oh hey they did the causal "I'm not broken" line but like... better done than in most actually good shows

I'm fully liking the episode THIS has what I've been wanting from helluva boss since season ONE

Ok that's funny

Clever animation!

I enjoyed this episode, It's what Ive wanted from Helluva Boss for a long time

Was it perfect? No. But that's okay.

It is now currently my favorite episode!

[streetscountbackward]

doing this challenge cz im bored (long post)

ignore the crap censoring i dont wanna get twordedddddd

day 1: your stats

5’5 and around 50kg right now :( lw was 49

day 2: how tall are you, do you like your height

my height is okay, could be worse but i wish i was 170cm+ instead of being a total manlet

day 3: a picture of your th1️⃣n$🅿️🅾️, what features do you like about this person

i saved these two on 📌terest the other day. theyve got muscle tone but are still noticeably pretty skinny which i like

day 4: your greatest fears about weight loss

my brain eating itself, having to quit running, refeeding syndrome/being hospitalised

day 5: why do you want to lose weight, are you doing it for you

i want to lose weight bcs im tired of being mad ugly and dont feel like i can be myself when im so fat. im doing it for me and for other people to like me 💯💯

day 6: do you binge, if so explain why you think you do

i binge because i get depressed and used to b/p but now i just try exercise it off. i dont binge super badly

day 7: do your parents know youre trying to lose weight? do they care?

they used to know i skipped meals but they got too suspicious so now i only skip lunch at school. theyre pretty oblivious to calories/what counts as restriction but my sister is on my ass about it sometimes

day 8: your workout routine

i run 25-30mins or do 30-35min interval runs three times a week. i go on a short walk every night. the other days it depends, most of the time i do flexibility stuff and those darebee workouts. usually only for 10-25 minutes. id like to workout way more but my family would definitely be able to hear me if i was doing like hour long hiit workouts in my room + the only ‘equipment’ i own is a set of dumbells

day 9: did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way

nothing to my face that i remember but i know theyre thinking it/people have said things behind my back

day 10: whats the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss

idk not having an 34t1ng Đ1$0rd3r was pretty neat

day 11: your favourite th1️⃣n$🅿️🅾️ blog

not blogs but @/emothlnspo and @/dailymalespo_ on twt!!

day 12: what do you normally eat

ive been eating like shit atm so nvm that but; ideally my limit is 1270 and i prefer to stay under 950. i try eat high protein but im vegan so its hard😭😭. breakfast is usually <100kcal, then lunch is usually 20-200, then i eat dinner with my family (why my limit is a little high cause i have no say in what we eat).

day 13: are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way

im in a b/r cycle so im not losing weight or being healthy NEXT🚨🚨

day 14: whats your ugw, when do you expect to reach it

realistically: 35-38kgs, bmi 13s-14s ish?

unrealistically/if worse comes to worst: 26.8kg, bmi 9.9

i want to reach bmi 14 by this time next year atleast

day 15: are you vegan or vegetarian, if so has this helped you to lose weight

ive been vegetarian most of my life and only went vegan like 6 months ago. it definitely helps at times but theres a ton of vegan food around today so its not as useful as youd think necessarily 😭

day 16: when did you first decide to lose weight

i cant remember ever not wanting to lose weight

day 17: do you have an 3d

dont think i need to answer this one

day 18: what food is your weakness

sourdough + dried fruit + nuts 😭😭 theyre so gooooooood😭😭😭

day 19: when was the last time you ate fast food

YESTERDAY😭😭 it was only a salad from a fast food place tho

day 20: fav diet

high protein low everything else

day 21: what are your clothing sizes

i honestly dont know for jeans cause i always buy them bigger and just wear a belt but around w24 i think

otherwise xxs in fitted shirts usually and i think i fit a womens 6-8 (which is a USA 2-4 i think?). id probably fit a womens uk4 but ive never tried lolllllllll

day 22: what was your lowest weight, how and why did you gain

lw was 49kg and gained back to 50.8 cause someone was praying on my downfall idk

day 23: did the media play a role in you wanting to lose weight

duh

day 24: how do you feel about the terms pro-@n@ + pro-m1@

i think people dont know what they actually mean/where they came from. i say im not pr0 so i dont get sussed but really any 3d space is a pr0 space. i dont agree with promoting 3ds at all but i DO agree with having safe “pro-@|\|@“ spaces for people who have them

day 25: have you ever pvrg3d, if so describe your first experience

the first time i pvrg3d successfully was after my family got pizza. i stuck my fingers down my throat jumped up and down tried handsfree the whole shebang and eventually puked up most of it. had to scoop some of the lumps out of the shower drain and into the toilet. would not reccomend.

day 26: what excites you most about reaching your ugw

being skinny finally 🤤🤤

day 27: how do you deal with being around food

I DONT THATS WHY IM FAT

day 28: do you want a thigh gap, why

duh!!! i already have a tiiiinyyy one but i would love a big one. itd make me feel thin

day 29: your definition of beauty

i think everyone is beautiful especially if they are on the inside. for me though id like to be crazy skinny and toned (i would rather dieee than keep being skinnyfat i swear). clear skin, no stupid fat on my face and i wish my smile was different but i cant change that by losing weight so i guess im stuck. i kind of hate my eyebrows and my mouth. i think if my mouth was a little bigger and my eyebrows were a little lower id look okayish. is it weird to say i wish my teeth were smaller?? i have total bunny teeth. i wish my shoulders were wider and my eyes were less sunken in. etcetcetc

day 30: ten facts about you

1. im a natural blond even though i dye my hair darker

2. my dream job is to do music but that wont work out so either way i really want to make something of myself. i think id probably try go to medical school if i had the money.

3. ive never broken a bone except one or two toes

4. i want to travel the world some day but im scared of flying super far overseas and its expensive

5. i play guitar because i wanted to play drums but they were too loud and triple the price. im glad i couldnt play drums cause i like playing guitar now

6. my letterboxd top 4 are good will hunting, beautiful boy, ferris buellers day off, koyaanisqatsi

7. speaking of good will hunting, i love elliott smith

8. my favourite videogames are tony hawk pro skater and skyrim

9. i love lord of the rings and have done for like 8 years

10. im literally dogshit at both but i speak english and im learning two languages. ive been learning spanish for three years and polish for around three months

[ankhisms]

Forgot that i even signed up to do a box office shift for the current show at the theater which i now have a very sour relationship with which ill ramble a bit about under the cut but basically something just came up with my mom where i wont be able to make it to do the box office and i had been dreading it so im just like (completely monotone voice and deadpan expression) oh how terrible. Its so horrible that i cant go do free work for this organization that hates me. So sad. Anyway

Didnt want to really dwell on it when it happened so i didnt post about it but like two weeks ago i did a favor for my martial arts classmate who is a jewlrey artist and sells her work at the local farmers market, she had surgery and needed to rest so i took over her farmers market booth that saturday and the guy next to me was someone i knew- the father of the person from that theater id say i have the most positive relationship with and their parents do a lot of work with the theater and are nice and have never been weird to me so it was nice to have someone i knew in the booth right next to me. Anyway since theyre very involved in that theater they know the more higher ups in that theater board etc etc and anyway the like current owner of the theater came by his booth AND one of the people involved in the performance i did last october too (WHICH I STILL HAVE NEVER BEEN PAID FOR WHEN THEY SAID MULTIPLE TIMES THAT THEY WOULD PAY ALL THREE OF US ACTORS)- i could maybe see the owner not knowing me since ive never been in a show hes directed (although i have auditioned for his shows) but the other lady ABSOLUTELY knows me and would have recognized me. Anyway i wanted to be friendly and at least say hi to them even if talking is hard i wanted to be nice yknow but they just. POINTEDLY ignored me. And i dont think this is me being paranoid or missing a social cue/misreading a situation before. Ive been ignored and isolated plenty of times in my life. They were talking to this guy 3 feet from me and refusing to look at me and then making a point to walk in the opposite direction so they didnt have to walk past me. And honestly at the time i felt like this burning feeling of anger and confusion and hurt where its like i literally have no fucking idea why this group of people have decided that they dislike me and that they dislike me enough to not give me ANY roles in any show i audition for and to only ever ask me to do unpaid shit for them (when they KNOW i live farther away than anyone else) and theres just a whole laundry list of how ive gone out of my way to do everything i can to be helpful and kind and to like be a good part of what i hoped was a cool theater community but in the end i just get exploited, lied to, and then treated like i fucking killed someone. I literally have zero clue what i could have done beyond just generally having visible traits of not being ~normal~ enough for them. It just is frustrating especially when this group is always talking about being progressive and inclusive and shit but i know damn well they treated a disabled actor know who uses a cane like shit and wouldnt cast them bc of that.

Anyway tldr i think im done with that theater. Ive had enough and their whole "theme" this season is "the american dream" and i just am like. Actually fuck that fuck the american dream and fuck the united states i dont want to do theater with neoliberal bootlickers anyway

[tacroyy]

first week of school. also want to add that ill try to do content warnings better for these! haven’t done a good job of that at all. mentions of racial and ableist slurs, discussion of stressed kids, food insecurity, institutional neglect and harm, general discussion of trauma

ok, thursday and friday weren’t bad other than me being beyond exhausted. i truly couldn’t have functioned without my adhd meds. the seventh graders are fucking amazing and we had The Best discussion, totally out of the blue, about prejudicial language, specifically the n-word and the r-word (both are problems at our school 🙃). i basically don’t have classroom management over them rn (or at least am not bothering to Exert It) bc their other teachers are Overreacting and being Too Intense bc it’s the start of the year so since they already know me it’s all steam blowing off in my class but honestly that’s fine. they don’t have to be non-feral until next week bc i just want them to Relax right now. the sixth graders just got lockers and are Going Through It emotionally so there’s a lot of “breathe, try again” and “nobody is doing tardies right now” bc some of them literally haven’t developed their fine motor skills enough yet and our locks and lockers are, no lie!!!!!, forty years old and Cranky. so that’s a lot of unregulated stress to channel off. i think i say this twice a week but i Do Not Understand how ANYONE teaches elementary school. makes No sense to me. beginning of sixth grade is often too young for me, really; so many of them haven’t developed that, like, independent rationality yet, and it’s A Lot when there are So Many of them.

the ideal way to end this first week would have been to have like a half day for prep so we could meet w teachers, contact parents/guardians, do sped referrals, seating chart upheavals, etc. there’s a lot of “ah, okay, here’s what This batch needs” even 3 or 4 days in, and it would just be so lovely and useful and productive and overall good for everyone to have that. for example i overheard a convo that made it clear that a family hadn’t signed their kid up for free lunch this year and so the kid didn’t get lunch so i had to run around and tell the right people (teachers don’t have access to that info) and make sure they got fed and all but it took my whole prep, and im obviously delighted to do that, but then i didn’t have any prep time and did my last three classes on the fly. not that this kind of thing doesn’t happen most days. it’s just that more prep time is imo the number one thing we need as a profession. i cant begin to express how much it would help everyone.

plus there are, as always, the kids that i just want to have a four hour productive meeting about every single day, where we hash out an Actual Plan. with a social worker, a reading specialist, a developmental psychologist, a pediatrician, a therapist, a sped expert, a speech therapist, an occupational therapist, a case manager, a para AND an ea and a secretary for notes. instead it’s me and the counselor who has a 250 kid caseload for ten minutes in the hall.

ive had a dream for a while, since grad school actually, of studying the affect of referred trauma on kids’ peers and school faculty and staff, especially peers and faculty and staff who also have trauma. the amount of shit that slides off of me now because you Have to grow the most perfectly balanced shield of “i will Act on this and Not ignore it” and “i must Remain Calm” and “I’ve just heard the Worst Thing Ever and have to teach for another four hours”. what does it do to you long term? what about the ones who get inured? and the ones who don’t? how can we actually help people handle this well? i know there’s So much stuff out there about secondary/vicarious trauma, and trauma informed education, and i want to be able to know if it’s at all useful or if it’s too tainted to use, like i now expect from basically all educational academia. to be clear i have already done a lot of work in this area but not for a while, and i wanted to reframe the fundamentals.

so glad we have a three day weekend now.

[dollwrites]

BABE OMG I promise I havent been ignoring you or anything 😭 I think a while ago I was waiting for you to answer one of my asks but idk if it got ate or something and then I totally forgot to send another one LOL BUT IVE MISSED YOU TOO!!

But you know I do have to deeply apologize for something 😔 I am SO sorry for not introducing you to Griffith earlier 💔 I CANT BELIEVE YOU LOVE GRIFFITH THIS IS LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE TO ME!! Seriously Griffith has been in my top 3 fav anime characters for YEARS now like since I was a teen so you cant even imagine my shock when I came back to tumblr after like a months break and saw you were writing for him. I can confidently say that in my opinion Griffith is THE prettiest anime character ever like nobody compares to him, hes definitely my #1 fav on beauty and aesthetic. I should have figured you would love him since we like basically all the same characters, but Griffith isnt really a character that I would admit to liking lol. Most of the time if you say anything good about him anywhere else on social media you get crucified lmaoo but honestly I should have known that your page would have been a safe place for something like that 😭 I'm just glad that you discovered him, the fics you wrote about him are INSANE LIKE SO GOOD JESUS 🥵 the way I wanna kiss you so bad for making those fics, finally some good fucking food for Griffith 🙏 I would do literally anything for Griffith without shame, I would actually kill to be his camp wife, when he kept going on about owning you and you owe everything to him 👀. You know when you have a character that you think genuinely nobody understands them and loves them like you do? Griffith is that character for me, you're like the only person that I feel like gets him LOL and i love you so much for that ❤ also your fics and talking to your Griffith ai has got me hyperfixated on him again so I have to thank you for that too lol.

Also you've been really feeding my piss kink recently LMAO it warms my heart to see you writing for it more often 💖 like the Griffith piss kink fic you wrote is one of my favorite things I've ever read on here, I think about it constantly. And princess reader with Griffith 👀

ALSO what have you been into lately?? Like what are watching or hyperfixated on rn? 👀 and how have you been lately?? Tell me everything lol ☺️

Some Griffith tiktoks for you lol

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRWXkTT8/ the most beautiful man to literally ever exist and I stand by that

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRWX6v3j/ MY BABY HIS SMILE 😭

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRWXeASy/

That's literally all the tiktoks I have for him 😭 it genuinely upsets me so much that theres like no tiktoks of him. The only Griffith content on tiktok is basically all rape jokes 🙃

-jjk nonnie 🖤

AHHH HI BABY NO NO I DIDNT THINK YOU WERE IGNORING ME, more like you got busy again or I wasn’t giving content that you were interested in! EITHER ARE TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE I JUST MISSED YOU

Oh god.. Griffith…

Okay confession time because I’ve been in love with Levi like for years and I thought no one would ever knock him off the throne but

Griffith STORMED my heart castle, defeated dio and Levi, and claimed the crown 😭😭😭 HES NUMBER ONE IN MY HEART NOW HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

omg YOU SAYING I GET HIM MEANS SO MUCH TO ME I’m actually extremely emotionally tied to him now, and I get defensive of him reeeally easily so I’m glad my friends that dislike him don’t really shit talk him that much around me LIKE I’m all for playful dragging but getting out of hand I can get a little aggressive about defending him 💀

omg you’re talking to my griff ai ?!?! YESSS TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR ADVENTURES WITH HIM I wonder what the experience is like for everyone else bc I jump back and forth between just filthy sex and then domestic royal family life SKSKSKSK

I cannot wait to write more griff fics ( AND I HAVE SOME WRITTEN ALREADY ) and I also want to write specifically for femto more too.

YES MY BLOG IS SAFE FOR GRIFFIE ENJOYERS. Actually it’s unsafe for Griffith antis 🔪

THE TIKTOK FOOD AHHHHH I haven’t been on tiktok in so long but I’m not surprised no one likes griff on tiktok they’re all like 💀 kids 💀 or chronically online and they can’t see him for what he is ( one of the if not the best written antags )

THERES ALWAYS SLANDER FOR MY BABIES ON TT ( see: mahito. )

HMMM WHAT AM I INTO LATELY?

Paradox Live. I’m so far deep down into this paralive hole and I cannot climb out !!!!! The animes not even out yet I just listen to the songs every day and watch the music videos and day dream about these boys 😭😭😭

I’ve also been watching psycho pass!

And I officially started playing genshin tonight!!

omg have you been watching the new season of jjk? I actually haven’t watched it yet I need to catch up but the toji content I’m seeing around 👀👀👀

[magnoliamyrrh]

its so fucked where the world is going. ive been encouraged in therapy to talk about my feelings with people close to me but i cant talk about how dying would be better than experiencing ww3 because i only get awkward smiles and empty reassurances because they know thats true. i dont know where to look for hope anymore

i get it :(( i really do. i barely talk to people irl about it by now, bc its either as you said above, or its my grandma who agrees w me and we just go down a spiral of "dear lord, what the fuck." some people get upset when i talk about it too, they say oh youre just being negative and then i list out 9000 rational reasons as to why this is realistic, and they just shut down and say something like, well what then, wtf are we supposed to do??. they get angry, which frankly is fair, bc theyre not rly angry with me even, but with it. .... ive got no idea how to cope with it anymore other than to try to not think about it, except its hard to just "ignore" when every half year some other shit happens which makes it more apparent to me were only escaping ww3 by some miracle maybe..... or idk, i try to place my hope that Maybe just maybe the whole world is aware that nuclear war would be so bad and ww3 would wreck so much that theyd stray away from it?... but ive got to be honest, i dont have that much faith in the rulers and leaders and anyone else whose driving this shit. ive not got much faith in much....... i want to say, we have to be our own hope, we have to be the hope of the future, we have to be what we want to see changed in the world. and i do believe that. but with shit at such a insane international scale, that feels hard to say..... the people generally have less power than ever in the face of governments which have multibillion dollar technology and which all back each other up, this horrid international web of opression and exploitation. how are the people of most countries nowadays supposed to revolt?

...... ive got no idea what to do with this feeling anymore. the economic state of the world, the exploitation which is horrdibly rampant, the pollution off the hook, the state of the climate, very tense international military conflicts left and right. it feels like the end of the bloody world.... and i know ppl from the beggining of time have always said, oh, were living in the end times..... but weve never had nuclear weapons before, a million horrid weapons, plastic radiation and chemicals in literally everything, and scientific data screaming in our faces to fix the climate before its too late - fix the climate, when the international community is at each others throaths..... god damn it

im sorry if this is not comforting to read, ive got no idea how to provide comfort when i feel the same way...... what ive been trying to just tell myself is to try to live the best i can with what is happening.... and if the climate goes even more to hell, and if the world erupts in war, at least we can hope we went out trying our best to be happy and at peace and kind and loving with each other, as much as we could.....

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

i just started realising that i have been questioning my gender i am afab and like i have never felt extreme discomfort being a female i just always had problems with like body image and not meeting societal standards. but my goal was always to be along the lines of an androgynous they/them or like a super masc female but recently ive been thinking about wanting to be more masculine but not trans masc. i would consider having the small features like a small beard and muscles but i dont want to ignore my feminine side because i feel confident in that normally. whenever i think about he/him pronouns i like the sense of being perceived as masc but not to the extent of being a man if that makes sense and i get very panicky whenever i consider the possibility of being trans. i also really like my boobs and i cant ever think of cutting them off even though i dont like a massive chest and i hate my bidy most of the time but not because of my sex per say. can i get some advice please? u seem to know a lot abt gender stuff

Hey my friend take a deep breath okay we’re gonna figure this out for u together.

First off, it seems like you gotta unlearn some shit. You do Not have to fit into society’s category. You wanna have a beard and boobs?? Go for it slay!! U wanna use he/him and be a woman! Fuck yea go ahead!

And I think you’re focusing more on finding something definitive. You’ve gone through all this uncertainty and now you want something solid. But it’s gonna take a while kiddo. In the mean time learn to live with it. You don’t know who you are, and that’s okay. 

In the mean time, stop asking yourself “what gender am I?” and start asking “what makes me happy?” 

What makes you happy?

Does he/him make you happy? Use it! Does masculinity make you happy? Be masculine! Does being a woman feel more “right” than being nb or a man? Be a woman!!!

You do not HAVE to do anything!! You do not have to conform completely to either feminine she/her woman or andro they/them enby or masculine trans dude with top surgery mix it up!! Fuck around and find out!! Do whatever the fuck makes you HAPPY!!!

You might consider a breast reduction, though do be sure of the reasons you hate your chest and be sure this is what you want before u go ahead.

But yea, my friend, you don’t have to do anything!! You are putting too much pressure on yourself!! Be HAPPY!! That is all that matters!! Use the pronouns that make you happy dress in a way that makes you happy be the gender that makes you happy and everything will fall into place, or maybe it won’t, and that’s okay too bc being urself and being happy is what matters.

Added disclaimer of course, make sure to be safe, if you are in a transphobic area or depend on transphobes for financial support etc.

Take a breath mate. In, two, three, four, hold, two, three, four, out, two three four five six seven eight. In two three four hold two three four out two three four five six seven eight. Do what brings you joy.

I hope I could help. I’m sending my love <3