#most of my side blogs have been
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Yes, Ren genuinely thinks cramming his wolf ears under that hat will distract people from his sharp canines, his tendency to tell Zedaph what to do, and his bad habit of barking at moving objects.
Yes, Doc genuinely thinks hanging an old rag over his face and wearing those ancient spectacles with no lenses will help distract people from... well, everything.
Yes, they're both delusional.
#hermitcraft#my art#rendog#docm77#I'm having fun with this lil cowboy au if you couldn't tell#I just love drawing these block men in the most random outfits. It's practically all I do on this blog#Convenient strip of cloth covering the sides of Ren's head because I STILL don't know how to address his lack of human ears in a way I like#I've been drawing this man for four years. You'd think I would've figured that out by now but noooooo#We use CONVENIENT STRIPS OF CLOTH to solve our problems#Also btw Doc's design here is my standard design for him. Mans is beyond insane to think an old dishtowel will help him blend in#Like half your body is made of metal and the eye not hidden behind an eyepatch glows in the dark. Sweetie
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Ok, I'm burnt out, pretty grumpy, and having a really hard time, so I'll be turning asks off for awhile. Posting will be more sporadic. I know I don't have to announce things like this, I figure I'll let people know so they don't think I'm ignoring them or anything. I'm just having a shit time, y'all.
Take care, everyone.
#personal#blog post#sorry for literally just coning back from a posting a break and leaving immediately after#shit just really fucking sucks today#I've been having a shit time throughout this entire move#but the moment we got on the road and the moments after have been fucking hell#i didnt sleep well most of these nights either#as I've been sharing a bed with my mom#and she's used to a bigger bed so she keep stealing blankets and kneeing me in the side#I'm just having a shit time#even spirituality has veen difficult lately#i haven't been able to feel the presence of any deities and that's been reallt hard#because it feels like I'm praying without reason sometimes#but i try to push through those feelings#but i also just feel bad that i keep asking and asking for hwlp without being able to give offerings atm#i just don't feel well#and there's not much i can do about it
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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I've been pushing myself to be more open about being trans and the positive and negative of it, not to prove that I am a person, but to show other trans people that they aren't alone. I owe my life, I think, to the trans people who have done this - gone into the nitty-gritty - and if I could do that even at a fraction of the effect, then my job is done. I don't exist to prove I am a human person and neither do you - you are already enough of a person.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#watching kat blaque's side channel video about lived experience and it's WEIRD because i was just thinking about that#like my last post about youth lib... i brought up a loved experience because i think it's relevant to what i was saying#it isn't about 'cis people should recognize trans people's personhood because of lived experience!' for me that isn't the point#when i share my transness i do it for other trans people first and foremost. i invite cis people to the table and i want them to join me#but i don't really expect it. i recognize that sharing my trans life doesn't interest random cis people and if they don't see...#...trans persons as people first then it would take a lot more than my own lived experience to change that#anyway. yeah. just reflecting on my hashtag online presence and being trans#this blog is perhaps the most open i have ever been (and will probably ever be) open about transness#i am a severely private person and the ONLY reason i am open is precisely for the reason i laid out in this post for *other* trans people
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you ever just. trigger your fight or flight response. over a tv show
#liz blogs#kr#knight rider#knight rider spoilers#were watching scent of roses tonight. i have a vague sense of what happens given its a pretty Big episode#and my dumbass couldn't stay out of the fandom. i dont have in depth spoilers but i have a vague idea what happens#enough that im scared. mom come pick me up im scared. mom come pick mE UP IM SCARED#i dont want them to go through This Situation :( get them out of This Situation it sounds like a SAD SITUATION#the stevie episodes make me sad enough already dude im fucking SCARED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#WA#on the bright side i haven't felt Impending Dread over a tv show in probably years. nothing good is on anymore. its kinda nice#but also OGHHH THE DREAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE DREAD#dear brain: anxiety is for being chased by predators. not a 40 year old tv show#most scared ive been since junkyard dog YIPPIEEEEE
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has anyone else had tumblr just randomly delete their side blogs. im still mad about it
#im just so confused bc at first i thought i accidentally deleted it but when i saw that it was 2 that were gone i was like.#it couldnt have been me. like what are the chances i accidentally deleted the two side blogs i used the most. it's weird#i emailed support but i havent heard back and honestly i have no hope if they were deleted by tumblr for some goddamn reason#i just dont understand why#im wondering if it's bc they were linked in my pinned post? so now im not linking any side blogs just to be safe#t
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it's so wild how different the culture around shifting is on various social platforms. Like shifttok, shiftblr, and shifttwt are SO different.
the utility they serve is also really different and its interesting to see tbh
#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifttok#(respectfully keep shifttwt 28227282 yards away from me thanks)#like i was on it earlier to investigate bc i dont get shifting content on my tl#and idk maybe its just bc im not ON shifttwt or anything fr byt the vibes were not it#i enjoy shifttok for the ease of access to content#like i have multiple tiktoks for my various drs and i almost treat it like a script?? kinda not really???#but i can keep motivation and visualizations there#watch clips and edits and watch other people talk abt their experiences#the misinformation can be a lottle wild sometimes but for the most part i dont really engage with that stuff anyways#and then shiftblr has been so interesting!!!#i personally feel a lot more comfortable talking about and sharing my drs on tumblr than i am on tiktok#i dont think itd serve the same utility as tiktok does in regards to organizing content for my drs?#like im not making a side blog for every dr#but being on shiftblr/loablr has been interesting#anywho thank u for coming to my tedtalk
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#poll#polls#tumblr polls#blog#another family poll!#both sides of my family are rural catholic farmers and both my parents had over half a dozen siblings each#and most of them Also had multiple kids#so im pretty sure i have somewhere between 30-40 first cousins#so whenever i hear someone say they only have like One cousin its always so crazy to me lmao#also i know some people might have adoptive or step-cousins they consider cousins (which is totally fine for this survey!)#but i just realized that i dont know any of my step moms relatives#so i actually have no idea if i have any step-cousins or step-aunts/uncles#(im just not very close to my step mom + she's polish and ive never been with her and my dad when theyve gone to poland)
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ngl the ao3 thing got me fucked because i've been getting more and more distrusting of the idea that things on the internet will always be accessible and i've been archiving media i like onto cds/dvds and stuff but i just haven't gotten around to downloading fics and i'm actually really upset about the idea of never being able to access certain stories again and the general fear that an online space of creativity would be lost. like the reports all say that it's being managed and the site will only be down for a few weeks at most but like STILL.
#i think this is also hitting me because i read this one fic that helped me break up with my most recent ex#and it wasn't a finished fic and the last chapter just came out and i didn't get a chance to read it yet#because i've been busy#so like. damn!#like i'm actually okay i'm just having some minor anxiety over this#i choose to believe everything will turn out fine but! yknow how anxiety works#i don't talk abt it a lot on here but fanfic was and is actually very formative to me and it's a great way of self expression to me 😅#i don't fandom post a lot on this blog bc i wanna avoid discourse but im balls deep in so many fandoms on a lot of side blogs
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Would you guys. call me cringe if I posted twenty one pilots fan art here. be honest
#not now. i have so much to get caught up on. just like...at some point#i have been itching to draw the new fits for MONTHS. biting drywall#sunny with clouds#but Tbth I might just revive my old side blog and put it there bc I am Scared most of the time
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Oh wow its been a while since I've been back in tumblr but that break sure did me pretty good!!
#Polkka posts#Hiii :3#So about my absence..........#I don't think anyone was really wondering tbf most of you already have my discord GAHAHSJD#BUT ERM#I might not be back I also might be back who knows!!#Sorry I've been. COMPLETELY inactive in all my side blogs too btw HAHAHAHA#Rip the ask blogs you will be missed </3 /silly#polkka doodles
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a certain someone just went to bed 😈😈😈😈 now its time to get back to my EVIL EVIL VERY EVIL SCHEMES!!!!! archiving 😈😈😈😈😈😈😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
#yesterday was aaaaaallll about horror!!!!!! TODAY IS ABOUT DUST!!!!!!!!!#organization wise i need a system to keep his asks in check...... and i know just the place to steal the organization from#sorry dusttalr masterdoc 1.......... i need your headers for a very very very important triglycercule side quest#by friday i should have all of the mtt archived and my killer analysis done FOR A VERY VERY IMPORTANT REASON!!!!!!#someting new by friday 😈😈😈😈 gotta prepare myself for someting new on friday 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁#i've never felt more motivated before!!!! I WILL GET THIS DONE HAHAHAHAHAEHEHEHAHAHEHHHEHAIHIHIHIHIHIHAHEHEHAHA#today has been A Day certainly (not in a bad way today was actually quite nice it was just very emotional)#but as always when things happen the 3 most important characters to me are always there to help ヽ(≧∀≦)ノ#alright! off to my side archive blog i go hehe sorry if i havent been posting guys i've been busy with this personal project :p#IF YOURE READING THIS!!!!!! YOU WILL HAVE A VERY GOOD UPCOMING WEEK!!!!! TRUST ME I SWEAR IT WILL HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!#i am feeling very happy and joyful i'm deciding to share this with the world for those who need to as well :33333#tricule rant#ALSO HAHAHAHA PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT TIME!!!!! GOOD NIGHT UNTITLED29876011111!!!!! YOURE PROBABLY HABING AN AMAZING SLEEP RN BECAUSE I SAID SO
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Season Finale
Sick and tired of reading about people say that Dazai knowing about the plan beforehand somehow takes away from the genuineness of the skk moments
You mean you WANT Dazai to choose to kill Chuuya for the greater good and then not give a shit immediately after?? Ignoring the speech for a second, the reason he was able to be so carefree after “killing” Chuuya is because he KNEW Chuuya was gonna be okay.
First of all, Dazai knowing Chuuya wasn’t gonna die doesn’t take away from his speech. He replayed all those memories for himself, nobody else was seeing what was happening in his head. He was GENUINELY upset at the idea of losing Chuuya and having to put Chuuya through that, DESPITE knowing Chuuya would be okay. He was STILL upset. That’s way better than him thinking he just killed Chuuya, sparing him a thought, not even crying (bc no that wasn’t a tear) and then just moving on being silly as if nothing happened.
And then the other speech him saying that they’re destined to - do you seriously think he’d just make that up for shits and giggles? He was being serious. If he was gonna play it up for Fyodor’s sake he would’ve said the most emotional out of pocket line to ever be written, which to them would be related to him leaving Chuuya behind. But no he just said they’re destined to do something.
Dazai talks a lot about the past to Chuuya (Chuuya does not participate) but those two are clearly emotionally constipated bc they never have a conversation about what they mean to each other (which I think is bc Asagiri is not ready to reveal that yet). This was clearly Dazai taking his opportunity to say what he REALLY thinks / feels forcing Chuuya to listen without the commitment. Bc if anyone gets the ick later he can use the convenient excuse of “oh I didn’t mean that” which is bullshit.
And I do think an element of this idea that it’s worse that Dazai had everything planned comes from the misunderstanding that Dazai has completely changed since he was in the port mafia. Dazai just tends to make “better” (as in more objectively good) choices, but he very much still puts on a front. You guys do realize that his silly persona is just that right? A persona? He’s literally being fake every time he’s silly. That’s not his real personality. He’s a morally gray character. He never became a purely good person and he never will. It makes MUCH more sense that he planned everything out with Chuuya beforehand.
He met up with Akutagawa before getting arrested, he probably did the same with Chuuya.
And yes, this means he DID use and manipulate Sigma the entire time. Why wouldn’t he? Sigma has an ability Dazai needed. I’m sure Dazai planned for sigma to not die bc in his role as a detective it’s part of his job to mitigate losses of innocent lives, he knows this, but also bc Dazai needs to know what sigma learned. I genuinely hope there isn’t anyone out there thinking Dazai wouldn’t manipulate sigma bc he cares about him? He just met him. He has no personal investment in him. But he WILL make sure sigma is alive bc of the aforementioned reasons.
#soukoku#skk#bsd skk#yes I did just make a new side blog to post this lol#I just read something and it made me angry so this probably sounds really aggressive 🥴#I swear I’m usually more chill#I also can’t explain how angry and heartbroken I was when I saw in the manga that Dazai didn’t care he just killed Chuuya#and started just messing around with sigma#I genuinely can’t fathom why you guys want that to have happened#I can look back at those scenes and breathe now knowing Dazai knew Chuuya was gonna be okay#I will probably be less angry if anyone replies in a few hours and will be able to have a civil discussion if anyone disagrees lol#tho pls be aware since this IS a side blog I can’t reply directly bc it forces me to reply with my main blog#and I don’t really want anyone to see my main blog#so I’ll have to reblog and then @ most likely#unless this has been fixed??#if I can reply with a sideblog pls lmk#also pls don’t be rude I’ll reply if you respectfully disagree that’s fine but not if you’re just gonna yell at me#I know a lot of this is probably a hot take#but I’m feeling brave what can I say
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🪱✌️
#the notes discrepancy between this blog#and still-not-a-cat#because i easily post 4x as much on still-not-a-cat#and it has 2k followers#while i have 78 followers here#but if i post here i get so many more notes#tbf most of my followers here are mutuals#i would’ve been sad on my side blog specifically for being sad but maddy learned about it#and turned on fuckingpost notifications#in case i post another suicide note there#which is probably good if i didn’t learn she had post notifications on#and haven’t used it since
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one of these days i'm going to write up all that i've changed from azzarello's bullshit era and the one (1) piece i've kept from milligan (and also changed) and the only thing currently stopping me is that it is going to be so, so inside-baseball incomprehensible. and i almost never want to go reading/screencapping azzarello and milligan to add references but i Want to add references.
canon is goop, just know that we continue to ride the bus down "hellblazer ended at #250 and looks like swiss cheese before that" street.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#i'm doing page maintenance before i fuck off to work rip it's got me thinking#anyway i think i said WAY back on this blog that a side goal of mine is to make hellblazer lore accessible to non-comic readers where i can#bc it's such a Heavy comic & i love it so much & i always felt Terrible recommending it to people only for them to be disgusted#and like. @ past me that particular goal is NOT as easy as you thought it would be lmao#esp because i have a habit of getting VERY detail-oriented when it comes to talking about hellblazer i think#but by GOD it's still a goal. i can put in some motherfucking references here and there when i talk about The Lore#like. azzarello's writing style never translates well for me in synopsis bc he Loves to put the audience in the outside perspective#where we are bystanders/with the rest of the bystanders to constantine's actions and not to his motivations/inner monologue#and i HATE that. hellblazer has ALWAYS been about what this guy has going on underneath the masked exterior#all the things you can't say out loud when you're queer and working class trying to survive in 70s-80s-90s england#but that you FEEL with your WHOLE fucking chest. how that feeling drives you to enjoy little rebellions wherever you can get them#(also azzarello just fucking Sucks LMAO but i'm talking style rn)#so i end up relying on frusin's art to tell the story a little more bc i think he understands the Theatre of constantine's public persona#and when that theatre is Absent then it's really REALLY noticeable. so frusin keeps me in it most of the time#and if i'm digging into frusin art then i'm Going to want to compare it to older panels bc i like body language consistency#milligan on the other hand has NOTHING to save his sorry ass bc his writing is drop-jaw fucking terrible AND the artist seems to like it#but the loss of john's thumb being tied to his mental health (ignoring the bullshit with shade) has always felt. important to me somehow id#anyway MUCH thinking about my favorite loser on this about-to-be-annoying day shdjksd he has been done so dirty#hellblazer brain go brrrr
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unfortunately i am thinking about haze dogs again. nothing concrete. just vague shapes. connor in the iron dog mask. the dogs themselves stalking the town. that party scene that eludes me. connor drunkenly falling into the fountain pool.
#been thinking about what i want my writing to feel like since how it tickles my brain has always been what i enjoy the most#there is nothing like the flow of a paragraph into another paragraph into dialogue into another paragraph#a lot of my editing process is about making sure everything flows smoothly and it's one of the puzzles i enjoy the most while writing#but yeah i've been thinking about the stories i love#especially fresh of actually communicating my feelings on the girl from the other side i'm looking at. simplicity#about things like the team ico games and how ueda “designs by subtraction” and the way that shapes the atmosphere of his games#nothing captures me more than the unexplained#actually doing good by my blog description. raised in a context of magical realism 🙏#normalised oddities. big empty spaces that feel as if they have been hollowed out. the unexplained intentions of a creature#a lot of stress comes in when a story gets away from him and i spiral into complexities that muddy everything up#i cannot stress the pages upon pages of me problem solving things probably no one will wonder about#so i like the idea of design by subtraction. i wonder how i can put that into a book#pia.txt#( wip ) haze dogs
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