#most fuckable dilfs <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

so me and the squad had a presentation party-

[starboye]

Opinions on Matthew Lillard and all his iconic roles? Which are the most fuckable ones in your opinion?

stu macher obviously

2. stevo from slc punk bc he's hot

3. shaggy bc i like my men just a little dumb

4. william afton bc he's kinda a dilf

[videogayymer]

Do you guys know that interview with David Tennant where he was told that he's number 3 on DILF list? I'll add it in the end. Anyways, it inspired this

👇👇👇👇

On a friday evening at the rec room, the 141 were celebrating a successful mission with Alejandro, Rudy, Farah and Alex. After a few too many pints, Soap finally introduced a list he had gathered from the soldiers around base.

He stood up from his seat at the sofa, turning to look at the room to get everyone's attention. Then, he started, with a balance a bit too off and a smile too wide, "Amongst all of Ghost's accomplishes, you were recently named on the DILF list."

Whistling and cheering erupted in the room, Ghost just looking around confused. "The what??"

Gaz, sneering, leaned closer to him to explain, "DILF stands for 'dad I'd like to fuck'"

"I'm not a dad??" Ghost stated, confused even more, somehow missing the point where he had been put on a list where people have admitted that they'd fuck him.

Soap almost bent in half from the laughter. "Don't have to be, Lt. A DILF can also be any attractive man in his 40s." He laughed a bit more at Ghost's bewildered look before continuing, "anyways, here's the top five: Price -"

"Ooh, he's fit!" Alex interrupted from the table, sitting next to Farah who was trying to hold in another burst of laughter.

Soap continued with the rest of the names, "Nik, Ghost, Alejandro and Rudy. Oh and Graves came in at - "

Ghost's interest finally piqued with that, interrupting Soap immediately, going for a nonchalant tone but failing miserably. "Oh and where did he come in the list?"

More people laughed, Soap having to take a break for a moment to catch his breath. "Graves is number six"

"Number six?" Ghost repeated, a little bit louder so everyone heard.

"Number six," Soap wheezed.

"And where... Just remind me where I am?" Ghost leaned in theatrically.

"Hermano, you're three!" Alejandro shouted from the back with a laugh when Soap was too occupied trying to breathe between laughing.

"Number three," Ghost repeated once again, smugly, leaning back in his seat with a satisfied smile while people whistled and applauded once again.

A door opened loudly, but it didn't stop the soldiers with their drunken laughter.

Price had finally decided to join them after his call with Laswell. "You muppets, what's gotten you so loud?"

"Sorry sir, it's just that -" Gaz tried but couldn't get the words out between his laughing.

"You're number one most fuckable daddy on base!" Soap yelled from across the room with a wheeze, only making people laugh even more.

Price just looked at Soap for a moment, then decided that it was too late for this shit, and walked out.

[fefuckability]

QUALIFIER 4: Binding Blade

Feel free to rb/comment with your reasoning!

[lochrannn]

Which is the most fuckable of David's characters? (Round 2/3 Poll 2/2)

Vargas and Jimmy tied so they both get to go in my secret extra round (Also thank you to the two people who called me dumbass, I deserved that)

Dilf David

Jimmy

[d20unfuckability]

here are my steadfast opinions on the most fuckable d20 characters regardless of where we are in the vote (in no specific order, but my favs): Lapin Cadbury!!! - sarcastic secretive tall lanky chocolate bunny?? he's a warlock they know how to worship shhhhh. i wanna fuck him, your honour! KINGSTON BROWN - the dilfiest dilf to ever dilf. he is loyal, he was loyal, he would have continued to be loyal?? he's caring and selfless and 6'2" he's perfect. and sweet christ Barbarella Gainglynn from Pirates of Leviathan. hoooo mama i need to be muzzled!

thank u for ur time love ur blog have fun stay safe y'all >:D

2/3 i'm so with you

bob is too much for me, but i recognize that's a me issue, not a comment on her general fuckability.

[matchamabs]

BOTW (and AOC) GUYS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE

get ready for some heinous opinions! so im ranking the guys in botw by how hot they are and im taking No criticism. idk if i forgot anyone but i tried

check it out under the cut 

sorry but this twink is just. average. like Painfully average. hes like white bread. therefore he gets an average score. i can appreciate hes a cute lookin guy? but like. thats it. if u fancy link u probably like mayonnaise. he looks like mayonnaise. grow a fuckin tache or smth dude for the love of god. 5/10 very normal.

ok im a diehard bird simp but like... this boy is fuckin ugly lmao. hes pretty at the same time tho? nice smile, nice eyes, nice voice but yellow eyebrows? green eyes? red makeup? clown. he’s a bird clown. tho i guess some ppl find clowns hot so this one’s for the pennywise crowd. 5/10. he’s a 10/10 in my heart tho.

now this is a MAN. u got the good smile, the strong arms, the r i p p l i n g  m u s c l e s. he is a man u can trust. his arm hair is a bit wild but if u dont like his incredible facial hair, then.... idc. 7/10. they made a rock handsome. thats impressive. 3 points off for the forehead vagina tho. dont like that.

hot fucking damn. this is what we in the biz call a raging dilf. he looks like the kind of dad that never grew out of his punk rock phase. idk how i feel abt the broken traffic light look but its fine. just look into his gorgeous eyes and listen 2 his deep gravelly voice as he tells u to fuck off and leave him alone. perfection. the voice already makes him like 20/10 but the mullet is fucking awful and he should be penalised for that. 8/10. grow a fringe like the rest of us.

ah the shape of water... ok yeah the fish is fuckable ill grant u that. hes All fuckin torso tho and his eyes r constantly pointing in different directions which is not the Most Flattering Look and he Will hit u with his head handlebars and it will hurt. the 24-pack aint half bad either but i always get this feeling that he looks like he skips... some kind of day. not arm day, not leg day, but... some kind of day. maybe brain day.  8/10. sharp teeth are always sexy.

10/10. i dont fuckin care if u hate his hair- this man probably invented the most effective hairspray in existence just to make that happen. respect him. u cannot deny hes hot tho like theres just Something about him. the confidence... the attitude... i worry about revealing his eyes tho. theres a 50% chance it will not work in ur favour and he’ll just look heinous. full 10/10 tho. old robbie is also not bad 2 look at if ur not a coward but he Might leave u for an easy bake oven so like. watch out for that.

well the queen saw something in him??? i genuinely fear the idea of ever getting to see his chin from under that magnificent beard tho. he’s probably got the jawline of a russian power lifter. anyway for an old guy hes not lookin that bad so long as u dont mind a receding hairline. ill b nice. 5/10. for a king u could do worse. ill be taking complaints about this take in my dms. bring a bat. 

where do i begin. i love beedle. i rlly do but theres.... so much going on. personality is a 10/10, business skills are 10/10/ haircut is -50/10 and the crop top....? well ill give him 10/10 for confidence. 4/10 im sorry he is just a Lot to look at. he looks like rock lee tried to become a slutty pirate king. shonen jump will have a lot to answer for.

the colour scheme is... better than revali, tho i didnt realise how obnoxious it was until i actually got a good look at him. ive never seen a bird look so top heavy before but this mans got 5 kids so i have nothing but respect for my king. kass is for the dilf crowd that like the dad bods. 8/10 he is quite nice to look at ngl. he’s like revali but light mode.

ok yunobo is very cute i wont lie but the hair is just massively disarming. idk its all i can think about. is this a goron emo phase?? is that what that is?? ive been staring at it for like 5 minutes and i still cant work out if i like it or not. 5/10 he is a humble lad. 

under all that gear kohga could look like willem dafoe x50 and id still find him attractive. he cant be hot tho. he just cant be. like looks wise he has to be 1/10 under that there is no way this man could feasibly be conventionally attractive and tbh i like it that way. banana boy gets 6/10. hotter than revali. revali looks like a clown but kohga looks like the entire fucking circus

there is nothing unattractive about bolson. 10/10. sha-ding

i hate the hair i hate the hair i hate the hair i hate the hair SO fucking much but the voice. he has to be hot under that gear with a voice like that. if hes not well. just close ur eyes. the voice will take care of the rest. 8/10 the crack in his mask actually makes him look sexier and i dont understand how that can happen

????????????????????????? he looks. like an old man? i swear those big wingy bits are his eyebrows but i cant Quite be sure. why would a tree need eyebrows. ??/10 keep ur questionable gifts to urself

-100000/10 who the fuck let this budget pokemon npc in here. he looks like he should b leading team ganon across the kanto region. he probably draws those lines on his face to make himself look older and listens to mother mother. im gonna punch his third eye. no this is not a biased opinion 

[writing-badger]

Twitter Polls Make For The Bloodiest Battlefields - Chapter 2

There Aren't As Many Voice Actors As You Would Think

1 (Previous Chapter) • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 6.5

Pairing: Sakata Gintoki x Reigen

Summary: Anime Twitter was thrown into chaos. Thirty-two "DILFs" were thrown into a merciless battle to find out who truly encapsulated the title of Dad I'd Like to Fuck. Two competitors begin to wonder whether the battle is worth it and maybe, just maybe, they can overcome their differences to find a way out.

Word Count: 2,904

Warnings: Too many DILFs

Gintoki is under no illusion as to what a DILF is. After all, he is a man of culture, as a certain hair-cutting samurai would say. He keeps thinking about any possible reasons as to why he might have been chosen. He does have a rather impressive chest, although this is mostly because the animation staff started putting more budget into him rather than an effort on his part. He used to be more like a noodle, limp and unimpressive. Maybe his upgrade in appearance appealed to a certain demographic, but his personality should have been a major turn-off. Right? What sort of father would fight his daughter over who gets to eat the last piece of dog food? 

 But then again, in a DILF contest, does personality even matter?

 If not, then he might actually stand a chance. With newfound confidence, he materialises into a white void that is almost completely empty save for a large figure a short distance away. 

 This confidence is immediately smashed into a thousand tiny, tiny pieces as he gets a closer look at the man. From just the bright red hair and daunting size, Gin immediately knows who he is looking at. How could he ever entertain the idea of being more fuckable than Shanks? Not that he would ever admit it out loud, but he used to re-read Shanks' chapters over and over again knowing that he wouldn't be seen for years on end. 

 Gintoki is completely frozen as he looks at one of the most fearsome and stunning pirates in manga, like a child meeting their hero. Meanwhile, Shanks is sitting on the floor, one leg stretched out and his back resting against an invisible wall. His head is lowered slightly as if he is sleeping, his hair swaying lightly as if being rustled by a breeze. His cloak covers most of his body, hiding the impressive sword that is always by his side.

 You would think that, with his previous crossover experience, Gin would be handling this like a professional but he is absolutely not. 

 This situation is unlike anything he has ever done before. Usually, he was just being isekaied into a fantasy world, hijacking time-slots, or hiding in the background of films. Having the Red-Haired Shanks sitting in front of him is nothing like running around with those Sket Dance punks who tried to leech off of his popularity. And then their creator then had the audacity to slander Sorachi in a different manga. Gin-san may not like school festivals, but he did not let his youth go to waste. He was busy fighting wars against amanto and trying to tame his unstained hair. He swears that if he ever meets that obnoxious ogre, he’s going to give the loser a piece of his mind. 

 “You know,” a smooth voice suddenly rings out, drawing Gintoki’s gaze over to Shanks, “with such a sour look on your face, it would be easy to mistake you for an enemy.” From underneath his hair, Gin can see a single eye trained on him like a tiger waiting to attack. A shiver crawls up his spine as he quickly tries to look as defenceless as possible.

 “Oh no, no,” Gin quickly says, waving his hands slightly to try and show he means no harm, “I’m just a big fan of yours and, well, you’re a lot more intimidating in real life than in the ma… um… on your wanted poster.”

 At this, Shanks stands up and Gintoki has to strain to look up at him. For a moment, he wonders if this was how Takasugi felt all the time, but he quickly brushes the thought from his head. He really doesn't need those kinds of thoughts coming back right now. Instead, he focuses on the pirate's face, finding that it looks so much more defined and handsome than he remembered. The three iconic scars run over his left eye, only adding to his appearance. When he was younger, Gin had tried to convince Zura to give him similar wounds, although Shoyo immediately put a stop to it. For a second, he lowers his eyes as he tries to push the memory away, but he ends up being eye level with Shanks's tastefully exposed chest. The loose-fitting shirt leaving very little to the imagination. It takes a lot of willpower for Gin to tear his gaze away. 

 There is an icy silence as sweat begins to bead on Gin's forehead. All it would take is a single blast of Conqueror’s Haki for Gintoki to be knocked into oblivion and, if Shanks knew what Gin was thinking, he would probably never wake up again. 

 And then Shanks starts to laugh. It starts off as a rather light laugh but, within seconds, the sound is booming around the room as Shanks tries to calm himself down a little.  

 “Sorry about that,” Shanks says, “it’s just I’ve never seen someone looking so angry while barefoot.”

 Gin quickly looks down at his feet, noticing that his shoes are missing, probably still back with Kagura and Shinpachi. He’s lucky that this is just a fanfic, otherwise, he would have to worry about his feet pictures being shared on some sketchy website. If people want his feet pic, then he is going to make a profit off of them. They are his feet after all.  

 “Oh,” he says as he wriggles his toes, almost as if he is surprised to see them. 

 “You didn’t even notice, huh?” Shanks says with a smile, his icy mood completely melting away. Gin, meanwhile, is thanking his Ketsuno Ana Zodiac Reading that he didn’t immediately make an enemy out of a fearsome pirate. 

 “Well, you know how it is with being teleported into a blank void and all that.”

 “And it looks like we aren’t the only ones,” Shanks says as he gestures to something behind Gintoki. 

 Turning around, Gintoki spots a strange floating light that slowly morphs into the shape of a man. And then another, and another. It seems that whatever happened to them is quickly ramping up in scale. By the time the lights stop appearing there are thirty-one men, many of whom look extremely confused and wary. 

 Gin ends up recognising a lot of them, and for the most part, he appreciates the taste of whoever organised the competition. Kurosaki Isshin is often an overlooked hottie due to that loser Aizen and his stupid glasses reveal that still lives in Gin's mind rent-free.

A couple of the choices are odd for an Anime contest… Dracula, for example, is standing in the corner glaring at every single person that moves. Firstly, he's from a videogame, and if you wanted to push it, a Western animation. But neither of these things are technically anime. Not that he isn't hot, it's just that Gin would be a little bit annoyed if he won and it's not like the guy needs the money. He lives in a castle while Gin struggles to pay rent for his flat.

 Some of the others haven’t even been in an anime yet, standing out with their strangely papery appearance, although he can't deny that it adds some charm to Kishibe. Not that Gin was paying particular attention to him or anything, he's not getting involved with any character that works with any government-sanctioned agency. He just knows how to respect and appreciate his elders… as long as they aren’t trying to squeeze rent out of him. 

 What stands out most to Gin is the fact that, of all the DILFs in anime, Ikari Gendo is standing there as if he is meant to be a part of this group. How could anyone who wears shades every second of the day think that they look cool? Worse still, Gin can’t even openly criticise his inclusion after what happened between him and Hasegawa. They are practically the same man with the only difference being their employment status. It makes Gin feel a little bit nauseous inside. If he ends up hearing Hasegawa’s voice coming out of Ikari’s body then he might just die on the spot.  It also makes him wonder about all those other fathers that could have been chosen… like Oscar Vessalius or Joseph Joestar. How on earth did Joseph not make it? Sure his grandson is standing off to Gin’s left, but what about his grandfather with his striking good looks and perfect voice, huh?

 Gin has to take a moment to calm himself down as he continues to keep an eye on the other competitors. Thankfully, for the most part, everyone seems calm, but there are a couple of loose canons that could cause an untold amount of damage if left unchecked. A loud buzzing sound rings through the space. A couple of the men look startled while others don't respond at all. 

 “Welcome, gentlemen, to the Ultimate Anime DILF Awards,” a robotic voice states, crispy static overlaying their words, “we are waiting for our final contestant and then the competition shall begin.” The static sound abruptly cuts off, leaving the room in silence. A couple of the men have gathered in groups, mostly based on people who they already know. Gin is still standing relatively close to Shanks, but tries to keep some distance so that he doesn’t make a complete fool out of himself. 

 As he is standing there, a man in a festival mask walks over to him, Gin immediately recognises him from Kimetsu no Yaiba but remains quiet. He can’t afford to have the others figure out that he knows who most of them are, it would be more than a little suspicious. 

 Hey guys, don’t worry. I'm from a parody anime and know who most of you are. Oh, by the way, a couple of you are going to die soon. I hope we all get along! 

 It took all the strength in his body to not go and warn Minato of what was coming his way when he first caught a glimpse of him. He doesn’t even know if it would change anything… like would it create a parallel reality where Naruto was raised by his father. Would he become fed up with his dad spending more time at work than with him, becoming bitter and desperate for attention? Would Naruto become like Boruto?

 Gintoki shudders at the thought. 

 Someone really needs to say something and save Gin from the mental spiral that he is falling into as he begins to rewrite the entirety of Naruto in his head. 

 “You know,” a voice pipes up from the other side of the room, “I’m not sure how I got here. But I was on a space station about half an hour ago and I really need to get back.” The man who is talking is Ishigami Byakuya. He has all the makings for a strong leader, something that he has put into practice many times before and, out of all the people standing in the white void, he is probably one of the most traditionally qualified. But he is also completely out of his depth. “So does anyone know either where we are, or how we got here?”

 “It appears that we are in a pocket reality,” Ryūken says after being nudged on the shoulder by Isshin, “I have no intention of playing along with this farce though, so stay out of my way.” He quickly adds this on while glaring at the bearded man next to him.

 “Come on Ishida, we all want to go home,” Isshin reminds him, “I hope my two little princesses are doing alright. They must be so worried about their dad.”

 “I’m sure they’re celebrating their newfound freedom.”

 This immediately silences Isshin who has a look of horror spreading across his face. Clearly what the Quincy just said has stepped over a line, but at least it gets the group back on track rather than Isshin rambling on about his kids for the next twenty minutes. 

 “We should try and figure out who is behind this,” a different, yet similar voice says. Gintoki looks over at Minato who exudes an aura that most people would struggle to match. It’s a reasonable suggestion, but his point is completely ignored as Leorio quickly points out something that a couple of the other men have also noticed. 

 “Hey, why do you,” he says gesturing to Minato, “and him,” he gestures to Isshin, “sound exactly the same?” His insinuation is clear, he thinks that they could be working together or are some sort of contraption there to trick them. It’s not an unfounded assumption, but it is a categorically wrong one. 

 Gintoki quickly realises how this line of thinking could devolve into suspicion and anger, but there is no way he calm the situation down without being even more suspicious. 

 “Well, we could say the same about you and the astronaut,” an older voice says, “so we shouldn’t be pointing fingers.” Masaoka Tomomi may technically be an enforcer, but he was a detective before that; one who believed in looking beyond the simple black-and-white answers. Thankfully his more advanced age also seems to settle the nerves of the younger men, but not everyone is happy to go along with this.

 “I don’t really care about what you monkeys do,” a smooth voice says, “but do not tell me what to do.” Getō Suguru is not the type of man you want to be stuck in a small space with at the best of times and, right now, the times are not looking good.  

 “Well aren't you just asking for a beating,” a different man states but he clearly recognises the jujutsu sorcerer. Gin nervously looks over to see a well-built monster of a man confidently walking towards the sorcerer. If Getō is a landmine, then Fushiguro Toji is going to be the foot that sets it off. “And since this is a contest, then surely a couple of people are going to die. So why not start with you?”

 “Those are big words coming from someone who’s already d-“

 Without thinking, Gintoki cuts into the argument; physically acting as a blockade while also causing Getō to stop talking out of surprise. Perhaps he wasn't expecting the barefooted man to be the one trying to act brave. Of all the people in the room, he is definitely on the weaker side, meaning has a lot to lose if the two start fighting.

 “You really should listen to the detective,” he says; sweat dripping off his forehead as both men keep getting closer. “Fighting won’t get you anywhere.”

 “The samurai’s right,” Shanks says as he backs Gintoki; his imposing aura making the two freeze in place. That and the large sword that is currently pointed at Getō’s throat stops him from being able to relax. On the other side, Minato has Fushiguro locked in place and unable to take a single step. A kunai is resting against the man's temple as a threat.  

 After a couple of minutes, the two begin to calm down. Or, at the very least, they stop staring at each other like wild animals. Minato puts his kunai back while Shanks sheaths his sword in a fluid motion. Gintoki, meanwhile, feels his legs nearly give out underneath him.

 As he manages to shuffle off to the outer edge again, he finds Jotaro walking over to him with a slightly suspicious look on his face. 

 “You sound familiar,” Gintoki pauses for a moment. Of all the people that would recognise his voice, he didn’t expect it to be one that hasn’t technically heard him before. 

 “We haven’t met,” Gin says, trying to play it cool. Jotaro is a potential problem if he comes to believe that he’s trapped within an enemy stand. While Jotaro doesn’t seem to quite believe him, he lets the topic slide. Gin can’t help but briefly curse whoever cast Sugita in the role of Joseph Joester for making his life more difficult than it needs to be. 

 Feeling his mood beginning to slip again, he thinks of the positives that come with this situation. Like he can go and gloat to Shinpachi and Kagura that he met Jotaro and that the Red-Haired Shanks defended him. Of course, he would embellish a little to make it sound more impressive, and they wouldn’t really care. But just picturing their faces, eyes rolling back in annoyance, makes him feel a little bit better. 

 Gin is so distracted that he doesn't notice the final contestant arriving until the robotic voice informs the group that the competition has officially begun. As Gin's eyes jump around the room, trying to figure out who it is, they fall on a familiar man.

 Reigen Arataka.

 Gintoki would recognise him anywhere. How could he not? The so-called Greatest Psychic. The man stole Gin’s entire schtick of odd-jobber, and then somehow became more popular. His entire identity is just a cheap rip-off of everything that Gin worked hard to achieve. A man who wouldn't know fashion if it whacked him in the face with a baseball bat. The fraud even stole Gin’s birthday, one that he definitely didn’t steal from Naruto. 

 You know those things Gin said about not fighting, yeah? They are long gone as he glares at the golden-haired man. Gin is officially out for blood and he will see the supposed Twink Supreme obliterated. 

Next Chapter

Read on Ao3

[krispycreamsicle]

ok since you made me read this with my own two eyeballs: "sect leader yao, the cultivation world's #1 most eligible bachelor!" now you got me curious what was the "hottest cultivators" ranking for the older generation when they were young xDDD um the competition is strong: sect leader yao, jgs, jfm, old lan bros... wrh too I guess! the cursed ranking xD (hmmm I wonder if the old lan bros placed as high as lxc and lwj)

The official hotness ranking of the dilfs of mdzs

1. Jin Guangshan

Canonically pretty, unfortunately. The donghua made him weirdly hot and he’s called handsome in the novel. He may be a slime ball, but he’s an attractive slime ball

2. Wen Ruohan

Have you seen his donghua design?? This guy is ATTRACTIVE. Jiggy only did one thing wrong and it was killing this hunk of a man.

3. Qingheng-Jun

He fathered the top two beauties of the next generation, so he must have been gorgeous. We don’t ever see him and I don’t think his appearance is ever described, which ordinarily would be a negative. But the mystery of it all is pretty sexy. Solid #3 spot.

4. Lan Qiren

Like Lan Wangji, he gets knocked down a bit because of his personality. Even the sexiest man needs to be likable to be fuckable ignore that jgs is #1 dfghjkl. He’s a Lan, so of course he’s beautiful, but having a stick up your ass is quite the turn-off.

5. Sect Leader Yao

He may be the #1 most eligible bachelor now, but that’s because most of the competition from his generation is dead kjhgjkl; He’s described as having a slim figure and gleaming eyes! Gleaming eyes! He’s a hottie, but in a soft, approachable way. The kind of guy you’d be proud to show off to your parents. Unfortunately, he’s not from one of the top five sects, so his beauty is overshadowed by everyone else’s money and he gets knocked down quite a bit.

6. Jiang Fengmian

Before he was a part time shitty father, he was a full time hunk. Like his son, though, when compared to everyone around him, he’s just painfully mediocre. jc i’m so sorry

7. Sect Leader Ouyang

So the Exiled Rebel translation describes him as “unusually hulky,” which… speaks for itself

[sollitudde]

haikyuu & cafes (1/?)

bigass creds to @luvoikawa with this post that inspired me to write too much nonsense about nonsense

all my writing got deleted edition 🐸 also jesus christ sorry this is super long i just really like cafes and drinkys and coffys...

karasuno

ukai

for a guy who gets up early every morning coffee is a must. canned coffee is his drink of choice for getting up and it’s one of his morning routines before starting work. he actually dislikes cafes because they have an atmosphere he isn’t too fond of and likes bars (enjoys shit beers = enjoys shit coffee) more- but he could go to a cafe when asked by his friends or if he’s going on a date, just don’t ask him about what type of coffee he’d like specifically because all he wants is it to be hot and black, no milk no sugar. when he was younger he actually disliked coffee, but with age he learned to 1. not be fussy about it 2. just tolerate it to pick him up. it’s not like he dislikes the tastes of it but i don’t see him as picking up oh many tannin inteiciasies cause he’s not developed a pallete, also gets the cheapest no fuss shit. prefers hot over cold even in the summer

for food, he doesn’t enjoy completely western menus. likes meat and doesn’t order any sweets like pastries and whatever the fuck, not only is it too expensive but also he’d just rather have the coffee unless he’s particularly hungry. like i said he isnt a cafe guy but life takes you to a lot of places so ☕️

takeda

actually can taste tanins like some sort of a legend. still though on a teachers salary you’re not going to have an espresso machine at home so he settles for his drip brew. actually doesn’t like espresso too much either if hes working at least. but since he is a teacher and a club supervisor he drinks 2 (two) of those shits a day, one in the morning from home one in the afternoon from the teachers lounge- needs it to deal with the energy at practice. takes just milk in his coffee and prefers it steamed, but has that shitty milk foamer thing that takes so much time to get results out of he just ends up drinking drip w cold milk; the workingmans choice.

with cafes and food he still enjoys drip brew (this time fancier) coffee with milk. could ask to taste test the plain bean coffee if he enjoyed his first cup so much. LOVES a pastry with his drink, if he goes there to do work will get a coffee and a pastry of any kind, i think he likes cream so expect him to get a cream puff esp if on a date cause then he gets to share it and be cute 🥴 loves a cafe hangout with friends or an s/o

kiyoko

pre time skip she did not need coffee at all. like her face at first says either only black coffee or shes so well adjusted she needs nothing and i’d say it’s the latter though i could debate. though she was an enjoyer of canned coffee milk later in life before having to consume coffee for life energy in her adulthood. nothing too fancy either though, small coffee machine that only she uses (tanakas a pussy!) for making coffee, pours milk and adds a teaspoon of sugar into it- doesn’t really like flavors cause to her they taste artificial. busy lady! so she can pick up some starbucks or sit down for a brief second and get coffee wherever she is, thinks it energizes her and also is an enjoyer of the novelty of steamed milk. it actually doesn’t buzz her ever even when she first starts drinking it so rather than having to drink more coffee as the tolerance builds up she just has a plateau of coffee give me caffeine boost

for cafes she just gets whatever looks good to her. also not the biggest fan of sweets rather than a good bread, enjoyer of plain croissants and good bread if she gets a sandwitch. who doesn’t love carbs

yachi

the sweet sugary drink enjoyer has arrived. didn’t even touch coffee until her 3rd year at college, tried a sip of black coffee from her friend in junior high and became instantly afraid of it- managed to skirt by college with a good schedule until the junior terror seeped into her veins and now her early classes she has to drink coffee for. but like she still gets good grades so it’s only the morning she’s required to partake in bean water for- doesn’t even do anything on weekends if she doesn’t have anywhere to be. at home she has 2 syrups 5 milks and overloads her drink so much she’s barely drinking any coffee at all, still the sugar and the hot stuff in the morning has an effect (placebo lol)

loves a starbucks for its accessibility, but gets refreshers and iced drinks more often than any of their caffeine. not only does she think it’s not worth it if she can make coffee at home, but she has a tiny cafe she goes to to cram that serves a mean lavender rose vanilla latte (fucking ew?) that shes in love with. but it costs a lot and she’s a rare visitor, gets sweets and small sandwitches if she goes. w friends she doesn’t know that well she’ll get a flavored coffee to seem mature&cute, but with old friends she’d rather drink a milk tea or a seasonal drink rather than bother w a latte (since she uses it to get energy if it’s 5pm and her day is nearly done whyd she need it then?) no 7-11 coffee or vending machine coffee (junior high trauma) rather sweets and candy if she’s buying from one

daichi

courtesy to @sugardaddykenma, i think daichi oinking his way to the top ended after he had a midlife crisis- so he stops drinking coffee the way he would at the pig pen. sorry ok enough puns but yeah i think he was drinking way too much coffee in both college and at his “job” so coffee now messes with his stomach so much he thinks he might have a heart attack if he drinks more than one cup a week. i don’t know if that directly makes sense but too much coffee can literally kill you and since now he doesn’t fear the revolution here’s another thing for his mind. no coffee, maybe like once if hes at a cafe with his friends but really really prefers plain tea more- especially as he gets older. likes green white and black teas rather than herbal cause caffeine, and doesn’t put sugar in either cause hes #real and genuinely enjoys the flavors more that way

doesn’t go to cafes except for reunions or hanging out with the boys, always more of a “what do they have to eat” rather a “what’s new and exiting to drink” boy. i actually think the only reason he does drink coffee occasionally is because sugawara teases him and also sometimes it’s easier to order something to not be embarassing and to live up to the expectation of a dilf on the prowl rather than well like. dilf drinking tiny mug of jasmine tea. surprisingly an atmosphere enjoyer, people talking all around him is comforting- though if he were to go there frequently he’d grown annoyed

sugawara

king of looking fuckable at a cafe. literally can’t drink coffee black and hates it but still uses it for that energy boost in the morning. has a cheap espresso machine (like 2nd hand and super busted) with a milk frother cause he can’t even drink coffee with just milk it’s so repulsuve to him, he’s gotta fancy it up with syrups & steamed liquids to get anything out of it. but like i said hes king of looking fuckable at a cafe and that’s cause he goes to them all the fucking time. to study to hang for dates like part of it is the ambience is unparalleled but also i mean 1. he likes looking hot 2. he can study 3. man idk hes just a little bitch that wants to look smarter than he actually is. literally in love with the concept of a meet cute so hes in there like “wow... i look so pretty and i’m reading such a big book won’t someone come talk to me”enjoys smiling at other hot patrons and the nines. i think he’d start banter only if you spilled a drink though or something happened hes not that confident to go up to someone full force, and well while he is there sometimes for the hell of it he does actually study there too cause it forces him to do something rather than fuck around on the computer at home. win win system

frequent cafe flyer and frequent cafe snack enjoyer. he’d much rather go for the small snacks like chips and nuts rather than big meal shit cause since his stuff is there he doesn’t wanna get anything on it, and would rather lounge back at home while eating anyways. frequent buys you a sweet on a date type of move, asks if you wanna give him a small bite but doesn’t actually enjoy most sweets that much. ICE LATTE ENJOYER but only when hes on the go or it’s summer, they make a mess when condensation happens.

asahi

hate to tell you folks, but you won’t find this guy in any cafes ever. if he needs to study in a public place he’d rather go to a library and if he can’t go there he’s just seriously gonna sit on the street if it’s the worst of it. can not only not handle cafes if it’s at full capacity, sugawara once shared his cafe strategies with him and now he overthinks whenever he steps foot into one. if he does enter a cafe it’s for a to go order of a cafe au lait (with soy milk, he got in the habit from ordering the wrong thing and never asking them to fix it) because espresso beverages give him anxiety, and add anxiety with a lot of people there it’s just no good and he becomes nervous. he does relax when his friends are there though, and a la p5 enjoys a quiet cafe at night the best. he like herbal teas without sugar (maybe some honey) and aromatic tea blends, but not refresher like beverages at starbucks

since he doesn’t sit down and eat at cafes hes not getting anything substantial, but has a pertulance for sweet stuff! nothing too big but if he gets something sweet with his coffee (and he does get coffee out a lot actually i feel i should clarify. it’s the devil wears prada influence and if you’re a fashion designer chance is you need to go somewhere fast so he needs the energy to power walk and actually ends up picking up coffee for his crew sometimes)

nishinoya

oh christ dude if he got coffee while in high school he’d go fucking insane. way too much current energy + caffeine is such a bad combination- but i think he’d never step into a cafe until his world traveling days. in which case i mean like first of all if you are traveling you’re going to have to keep a tight schedule unless you’re like rich as fuck and can afford to leisure around, and i think he does have some savings but at the same time if he’s himself he’s very likely running around- in summary, cafe visits very dépendant on the culture. cafe dates and cafe stops to get a pick up i think would be the most common stuff here, and coffee would be only used as a wake up i need more energy tool

with food i mean going to a great underground cafe is a right of passage if you’re traveling so i’m sure hes tried all sorts of shit and also hes a big eater, so i can see him getting whatever looks the craziest. big coffee ice cream enjoyer but like i said that’s just to wake up & i think there’s better places to get better juice (& international soda) than a hole in the wall coffee place. did someone say italian sodas or do i have to get my hearing checked

tanaka

man this guys a pussy. thinks starbucks is the fancy coffee place even though it’s a chain and can’t enjoy a non sweetened coffee- even sweetened coffees are a bust. honestly also is too concerned about caffeine being able to “hinder” him, it’s not going to kill you or make you crazy but probably saw someone go balls off the walls with it and is too pussy to try it himself because he thinks he’s so energetic already it’ll make him turn super saiyan. very big enjoyer of a juice, a smoothie, or a refresher again if we’re going from starbucks’ menu. actually yeah it the place offers smoothies he definitely gets that 100% no questions asked, cause it’s the one sweet he can permit himself because he actually thinks it’s healthy when the only reason it “is” is because it’s fruit. does not enjoy the vibes whatsoever and is kinda spooked by everyone drinking coffee in coffee drinking establishments. his wife is more of a man than him in that regard but he can take it

cafe foods aplenty though! likes to walk in and run to get smth and leave, cause it’s less effort than making something and more effort than going to a convenience store. actually has this thing where he picks wifey dearest up snacks he thinks she’ll like. before that he used to scoff at them but now seeing as shes a frequent patron and he is married to her he’s all like look at this treat i bought for you at (blank). it’s kinda sweet! plus he prolly gets a takeout drink for himself too so win win

ennoshita

physical therapy is a lot of work! sorry for the lack of substance for this guy but like a normal adult i think he is normal with his coffee consumption. aka- drinks it to get up, and when hes tired. i think he has a particular interest in trying new things though and will get whatever is interesting to him or something that is weird on the menu like a pumpkin chocolate latte or some shit like that that is unusual but still tasty. adventurous and also you can’t tell at all that hes had coffee, acts completely the same and people even tell him he should drink some coffee cause of the low energy. hes had two cups already and that’s enough!

kinoshita

i think this guy just doesn’t like coffee for whatever reason. he seems like the type of dude to just not drink it and instead go for something energizing in the form of tea or an energy drink but not bean juice, just a vibe! enjoys a cafe every once in a while but goes rarely, i mean hes just chilling! there is a place that hes gone to that he is now an irregular regular of that has a tea infusion of different berries and ingredients that’s meant to clear up your sinuses and calm you. they don’t sell it in packets and hes disappointed about that but the very reason it exists at all is because it’s made out of fresh chopped shit and spices, also it’s a gimmick. they serve them in tea pitchers and he stays there and reads until he finishes. it’s the little things!

kazuhito

writing got erased again but like literally just think of a guy. a guy that works at a company who has to go to work everyday so yeah he drinks coffee and the chances of it being instant are very high. actually doesn’t know that starbucks is a chain and just has the regular drip coffee machine at home, probably takes it with milk and sugar and whatever is there at the time. relaxed guy and relaxed preferences

kageyama

dude doesn’t even know what coffee is to be completely honest. well no that’s a lie he definitely tried some but it made him jittery and he can’t be jittery or else he’s not doing perfect tosses, so no can do. like i know the milk joke is old but i don’t think the habit stops at high school i genuinely think unless one of his teammates or someone with him is like no getting milk or they don’t just serve raw milk because who the fuck would he maybe gets a milk tea at most. honestly not a fan of sugary drinks such as juice or refreshers and whatnot nor iced drinks because well hes just a weirdo. if you take him to a sbucks or somewhere else either order him a london fog or water or a cup of milk if you want your cashier to have something funny to tell. he likes matcha lattes but since they’re high caf he only gets them on off days and like when does he have those? never. genuine weirdo

okay for food it’s anything goes but i think thr funnier thing to talk about would be the amount of time it takes him to read a menu. literally can’t decide on anything especially if a place is out of stock well hes gonna be out of comission for a few minutes as he reconsiders. asks what this has and what’s in this if it’s not listed so it’s really best to just pick smth for him, plain simple and he won’t have any complaints and just sit down w you.

hinata

actually got fond of espresso in brazil but still prefers juices and shit to actual caffeinated beverages. they don’t make them like they used to there 😔 but he does get lattes. LOVES coconut milk and nut milks cause they have an “oomph” (what?) but honestly anything goes kind of guy in where he can get coffee out of a machine at a convenience store starbucks a cafe anything anywhere no problem. thing is though he can only consume it in a short amount of time aka just the morning or else he’s unable to sleep at night, a thing that is most definitely a placebo but like he believes on it so insistently that he just doesn’t mess with it. is a fan of anything new and anything that catches his interest in coffee places, likes to pick stuff up rather than sit down cause he’s a fan of walking and talking and drinking

pastry guy :) or just anything breaded. again likes to pick whatever catches his interest cause he became more adventurous with food for sure, enjoys a sandwitch or some shit i mean you get the point i think. he’s just a funny little guy

tsukishima

honestly? cant fucking drink black coffee. i think it’d be so funny and well also fitting that if he does drink anything he does drink super sugary sweet stuff, like i mean we know he enjoys sweets anyways so why not push it further and say this motherfucker can’t handle tanins at all? and like by all i mean he has to have tea with milk and sugar no matter what it is (well not herbal tea 🍵 that’s an emoji of a green tea but herbal tea never should be enjoyed with milk) his go to is a hot matcha latte and a cold iced vanilla latte. cause both are sweet and make him look a little less pussy when ordering them. straight up will chug purely black coffee out of spite and suppress gags to seem cool, it’s okay tbough hes so far only worried about this happening in front of friends and it hasn’t yet. he has practiced at home though and he can so far not gag but still squint, which he’s thinking if he has to explain will explain by “well uh it tastes like shit so”

i don’t think he needs coffee to get up but instead does need something sweet. since cake doesn’t last a while i’d see him trying to buy some for himself discreetly like i know this dude isn’t a pussy but also imagine being so hard and then being made fun of for eating a cake alone by yourself in a cafe. doesn’t order sweets therefore unless hes in a private room or with a trusted friend. yamaguchi won’t tell on you bro in fact he’ll order the cake and let you have it. doesn’t like any savory thing on the menu for some reason, no matter the place he goes

yamaguchi

actually enjoys tanins but chugs cheap shitty coffee for energy no matter the time of day. he just got used to the lack of taste and definitely grabbed a caffeine addiction to add to his problems to worry about but it’s okay cause hey while he’d never say it he thinks it’s better to be able to taste them and enjoy a normal cup of good beans than to be like his unnamed friend. enjoyer of the whole menu, entirely dependent on the mood. focusing, straight espresso shots, reading, matcha or peppermint tea, vibing, lemonade or lemonade mixture idk you name it. very into cafe energy and feels good whenever he enters one, but doesn’t do it out of neccesity cause once he did actually have someone slightly hit on him at a cafe and he stopped going to it because he interacted with them very awkwardly. is sure the baristas heard and just can’t do it anymore. has pulled all nighters and 24-hr study sessions in internet cafes chugging coffees like a motherfucker. hasn’t yet poured a redbull into coffee yet but i mean it could be coming we never know (nah hes afraid of it)

not a fan of ordering stuff in cafes at all cause hes not there to eat. can be persuaded for a bite if friends are there but if not then hes avoidant of foods. you can’t blame him! it’s kind of awkward to order food at a coffee place anyways so he just steers clear

[gayoperatorgunclub]

Hello! For prompts, could I get Doc/Thatcher with 84, 33, 25, 23, 10, 45, 1, 82, 15, and 27? TYSM!

of course! i’m so sorry it’s taken so long, but here you go! 

1 (Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?) - they are both TERRIBLE drivers, but mike probably drives while making fun of gustave for mispronouncing british street names. he stops laughing when they take a road trip to france and he remembers just how much he hates the french language (except for when gustave is speaking it, then it’s sexy as FUCK) 

10 (Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder? / Who takes photos of the other while they sleep?) - if either of them took selfies it would be so embarrassing for the younger operators because they’d just turn out like this 

as for who would take pictures of the other, probably mike, just because emmanuelle blackmailed him into contributing to her “gustave sleep pics” scrapbook

15 (Who shops for groceries?) - ever seen that post where the girl was like “yeah my ex said he couldn’t go grocery shopping because he did that with his ex and now it’s traumatic for him”? that post was written about mike. although he will do the “this date is terrible” “this isn’t a date, i said i was going grocery shopping and that you shouldn’t come with because you’d find it boring and you said ‘fuck you gustave i do what i want’ and followed me here” thing if he’s particularly bored. (and he’ll gladly go shopping whenever gustave is too busy or stressed to go. he’s enlisted adriano to help him cook so when gustave finally comes home, he’s able to welcome him with a nice meal)

23 (Who likes to wear the other’s sweatshirts?) - when he knows he’ll have to work late, gustave will have mike wear one of his fluffiest SAS hoodies all day, so then while he’s hunched over his computer and filling out paperwork at 2 in the morning he can wrap himself in the hoodie and inhale mike’s scent, which gives him the drive to keep going and finish the work so he can get home and have mike actually wrap his arms around him as they fall asleep 

25 (Do they like the food network channel?) - mike hates paul hollywood from The Great British Bake Off with a passion, yet watches the show religiously. gustave has found that the best way to get mike to stop bitching about paul’s “frankly ridiculous behavior, gus. they get rid of mary but not this sack o’ shite?” is to climb into mike’s lap and start kissing at his neck to distract him. this usually ends with something sweeter than the bakes on the show ;)

27 (Who wants to have sex at work/school and who is terrified of getting caught?) - realistically? neither. but i’ve never cared about realism before, so why start now? so: it doesn’t happen often, but when mike gets really pent-up or something, he’ll come barging into gustave’s office, pick him up from his chair, pin him against the wall, and shove his tongue down the other man’s throat. once he’s pulled away to give them time to breathe, gustave will ask him to please close and lock the door. he certainly doesn’t expect mike to throw him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes while mike completes the task, nor does he expect to find himself on his hands and knees on the cot he keeps in his office, with mike pulling his slacks and boxers down just enough to have access. all he can do is moan into the blankets while mike pounds away at his sweet spot

33 (Who will have sex in any place and at any time?) - both, if they’re horny enough. the number of times gustave has found himself bent over his own desk, pinned to a wall, thrown onto a cot, or just looking for something on a shelf when all of a sudden he feels mike groping him through his pants is ridiculous. mike, on the other hand, adores the days when gustave corners him in the showers, drags him into their room, tackles him from behind while he’s training and starts biting marks onto his neck, or the time they sparred and mike finally found out how the acoustics of the training room affect gustave’s screams 

45 (Who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops?) - gustave is the fuckable french dilf everybody wants but nobody deserves, and you can bet your bitch ass he’s the most fashionable bitch in rainbow. does he wear belts? yes! but only fashionably (all his surgical experience makes him a very good tailor, so you know he makes adjustments to his clothes if they don’t fit right; he has no real need for belts, other than the fact that they tie some outfits together). mike, on the other hand, wears a combination of jeans and a sweatshirt every day, and he can, and will, enter a room with his thumbs hooked in the belt loops. jordan has attempted to give him a cowboy hat multiple times now, yet mike always refuses. he wouldn’t say no to some boots, though

82 (Who is super bad at sexting? Who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day?) - gustave gave up trying to sext once he realized mike was going to keep signing off all his messages -Mike <3. he usually finds it endearing, but not when he’s trying to get fucked. gustave will send mike reminders to take care of himself while simultaneously pounding espresso like he’s doing lines at a frat party. mike will send him messages that are just heart emojis throughout the day whenever he thinks about him, and gustave always has to hide how he blushes 

84 (If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?) - they would NEVER rob a museum!!!! they are good boys!!!! BUT if they did gustave would definitely go full mission: impossible while mike loots the gift shop and food court

[wanghedi]

Oooh i need to get this ouy but 名侦探学院 main cast count down by fuckability:

7. 邵明明 - i love him and his ncredibly bad temper and attitude sometimes and is so dramatic all the time but he is gay

6. 唐九州- is a compci student but not the biggest problem as u can see thete are business majors higehr up yhe list but jojo is low bc he looks like a baby a toddler a child if u will

5. 石凯 - we love skdd but hnot my type

4. ggg - i think hes in fact the better looking of the 2 finance majors hes really good looking for a normal non celeb person like i cany imagine working in the same office as this guy and and suddently hes on tv in tv hair and makeup and u see him on bilibili being called 妹妹 and 老婆lmao its like if someone tld u yeah did u guys see stephen from HR is being babygirlified and malewifefied on tv djwkldk

3. 齐思均: he looks like a nice guy ; probably a really good roommate abd friend. He really does remund me of 何炅 like the vibe and hosting style and like. Such a good host... I cant believe the first time i saw him mc the dilf show i was like who the tf isthis rando but he won me over even before i watched mztxy bc he hosted so many things. And well! He gets so much mc work these days hes got all the hosting gigs i feel like a proud mpther when i see him mc a major gala omg our very own ,齐岱泽 our 齐妈

2. Zjw... A half frog from montearel....but he is tall.... But he seems like a mainsplainer and isa psych major... But he is tall.... .but double psych major...but Probably the most widely acvepted best looking from this cast but. Again. A quebecois

1. ppp - the vast and rocketlike improvemeny in ranking for pyx... He was genuinely a lil ugly to me thw first ep i watched but he has won mw over. The power of a funny litle guy..and ithink his voice is reallynice even tho he has a borderline comedic 四川 accent sometime and i like his vibes like this guy is a little kooky like a manic pixie girl and he is my favourite yes evn tho he is a finace major (but no longer works in finance so a point there) and just a guy who sometimes on tv and plays a lot of video games

[butchious]

TOP FIVE MOST FUCKABLE MCU VILLAINS

1. ULTRON

he’s like if tony was actually a robot, but evil and with a sexier voice

2. LOKI

move over hela he did the kneel thing first

3. BUCKY

technically not a villain anymore but i have to include him anyway for pretty obvious reasons. i’m sure steve would agree lol

4. EGO

now there’s a dilf. who is also a god. he can be anything you want him to be

5. IVAN VANKO

also a dilf. pretty built for an old dude too. i vant his burd ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)