#more thoughts about hetaoni. ..

[willyhoos]

LOOP #???? // LOOP #2

[italyveneziano]

What is up everybody i may be wiping off the dust from this blog because i listened to a HetaOni song too many over the past few days and now i have a severe case of the brainworms

[yours-the-author]

Hey, so...

Does anyone remember this post I made recently?

.

.

.

I made some art for it...

If you wanna see it...

Here it is:

I'M SO MAD AT MYSELF IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SURVIVING THE MANSION BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE UNTIL AFTER I FINISHED IT AAAGGH

...Aside from that little oopsie, though, I'm actually really proud of how the logo came out? I based the font off a style called "Micro 5 Charted". Thank goodness I was using graph paper!

I'm not sure if that Kanji is correct; Google Translate doesn't seem to like the word "oni" or "stick", especially together, so I spelled out the Romanji in the English box and then tried to copy the characters Google offered me as closely as possible. I think I'd be more surprised if I got the Kanji correct, honestly.

Henry Stickmin title screens usually have two different fonts for the verb and the noun, and I thought about trying to make "Mansion" look like an actual house, but that made my brain hurt to much to conceptualize, so I stuck with different colored fonts. Hmm, that clock sure is there. I wonder what it means gets hit by a bus

-----

Anyway, here's some theoretical scenarios of what the main gameplay would look like! This one stars General Hubert Galeforce and some other guy:

Option 1: Shoot

Result: The monster hears you move as soon as you pull your gun from its holster. No time to defend yourself.

FAILURE (DiE!)

Option 2: Backup

Result: Your radio refuses to work, even though it was just fine before you entered the mansion. The monster waits until you've realized this, then goes for your throat.

FAILURE (No one will hear your screams...)

Option 3: Time Out

Result: The monster does not hear you and goes into a separate room, out of sight and out of mind. Galeforce survives... for now. But what was that thing...?

-----

I don't know how feasible it would be, but I imagine this would be a cross between typical RPG Maker-styled games (pixels, speech boxes with pictures of the characters, moving around a set floor plan, puzzle solving, etc) and typical Henry Stickmin-styled game play (cutscenes, choices, possible interactivity [grabbing items/bios], the occasional quick time event, etc) (voice acting would be a stretch). Most of the gameplay, like exploring the mansion, puzzle solving, and running/fighting the monster, would be RPG style, and then occasionally switch into a cutscene that requires you to make a choice; usually with just one correct answer but possibly others that could result in diverging dialogue/interaction/paths/endings? Something to think about.

Anyway, Galeforce! Poor man has no idea what he almost walked into, haha. I experimented with perspective and limb placement here, which was exhausting but also a lot of fun! Dynamics are hard with stick figures, but considering that they're they only character medium I've ever been decent at, I made it work.

And the Oni... I tried to give it some sort of anatomy, but quickly realized that I do not have the skills to pay those bills. I opted for a more of a shadowy figure looking thing with a big smile instead (you can see some of the lines where I tried to make it have arms, I think). I opted for Ao Oni's purple-y blue color scheme verses HetaOni's gray alien look. Back in the day of fan made Ao Oni games, people would usually try to put their own unique spin on the Oni sprite, with HetaOni's being the most unique I ever saw (keep in mind, it was one of the few designs I ever saw, so there might be cooler ones out there, who knows). In theory, a game called Sutikku Oni would use a stick figure shaped monster, but with my current art skills, that would just look like a normal stick person with a big head (look! Geoffrey Plumb's cousin!). I think the less we see, the better; all good horror games know when to leave things to the imagination!

-----

I also made a second one, featuring my boy Dave Panpa!

...Dave, I'm so sorry... *MAKES HIM PEEP THE HORROR*

Option 1: Call for Help

Result: You call for help...

FAILURE (...but nobody came.)

Option 2: Run

Result: You tense your muscles in preparation to run. The monster is faster.

FAILURE (YoU... wOn'T... eScApE...!)

Option 3: Pretend to be a Piano

Result: Frozen with fear in front of the piano, it's all you can do to hope the monster thinks you're also a piano (a sopping wet piano, but still). It's deadly quiet. You can hardly breathe, and you're afraid to. The monster stares at you for an uncomfortably long time, before walking away, out of sight and out of mind. You stay still a little longer before collapsing to the ground. Dave Panpa survives... for now. How on Earth did that work? Or... did that thing let you live out of pity...?

-----

UGH the piano! Pianos are so hard to draw! Luckily, I had an almost head on reference that I was able to use for the first picture. For the above view shot, I had to do some wild guessing. The red stuff near Dave's head in the second picture is the red stuff he was referring to. Is it blood? Paint? Something else? Who knows! But as we all know, any self respecting Ao Oni fan game needs a piano puzzle!

I imagine Dave was dragged along for the ride when the Toppats decided to find the treasure of the mansion (or something to that degree), fully intending to leave him there to die if there was, in fact, a monster inside. Poor Dave... Maybe there could be an ending where amends are made? Or maybe not...

I mostly put the smile on the monster's shadow as a means of showing that, indeed, it is the monster, but now I'm wondering if the monster's mouth glows or something? Hot fires of Hell, delivered right to you! Can you beat the heat?

-----

Thank you all for coming to my fixation ramble that absolutely no one else except me finds interesting! Any thoughts before you go?

(A cricket chirps, then leaves because it's in the wrong conference room)

...Yeah, I figured.

[lilac-amethyst-skies]

I'll Be Good, I'll Be Better ||HetaOni!Italy X Reader||

Hetaoni in my 2023?? Sure, why not.

notes: angst, themes of fear, anxiety, death, violence

Overview: Feliciano was so tired. How many times did they have to go through this? Was there really an end? ...And if there was truly an end to it all, could it even be a happy one? He couldn't be sure, but if there was any constant that he could rely on, it was you.

||||

The dirt and sweat stuck to his skin.  Though, at this point, Feliciano didn’t take notice to it much anymore.  All of them had been through plenty enough.  And for too many times. Feliciano took a moment to look about the room at the many, many faces.  They were tired, desperate.  He supposed that his own expression would very much appear the same if he took the time to look in the mirror.  God, if he ever made it out of this place alive, he would never be the same.

None of them were ever going to be the same.

And the worst part?

In the end, there was no other way of putting it,

It was all his fault.

Lying down and staring up at the ceiling from his bed in the safe room, he knew that it truly was his fault.  Sure, America decided to run his mouth and make sure the entire universe knew.  But it was Feliciano who told America in the first place.  Of the rumors about the mansion and the mysteries that lie there…If Feliciano ever mentioned that he felt unwell, that would be an absolute understatement.  His chest burned and his heart felt so very tired, he wondered if maybe soon he would just fall into cardiac arrest.   The lies, the memories, the blood and death.  It made him nauseous, that continual loop on repeat in his mind.

God, Feliciano wanted to die.

But at that thought, a bitter chuckle left his lips.  He supposes if he dies, that defeats the purpose.  To get everyone out alive, at least.  Though, if Feliciano was being honest with himself, if it took his own death to ensure the lives of everyone else…then so be it.  He could do this, he could fix this. No matter the cost of himself.

Feliciano broke his string of thought, glancing at the bed on his immediate right.  A young woman rested there, her eyes closed, finally having a moment of stillness after their last run-in from that horrific monster.  He had to resist the urge to reach out and touch her.  Feliciano knew that she wouldn’t mind, but he really wanted her to rest.  So, he kept to himself; he would never want to wake her up especially since sleep never really came easy for any of them.  And even if they did happen to fall into a slumber, it was always a restless one.  Yet, in this case, it seemed that his friend finally got the chance to really, truly rest.  That made Feliciano happy.  She deserved it.  More than deserved it.

He deliberately brought his gaze back up to the ceiling, fighting his own tiredness.  Feliciano found that the more he slept, the more memories he lost.  He simply couldn’t afford that, especially with the vital information they held. Feliciano brought his hands to settle, clasped together atop his stomach.  He began twiddling his thumbs, hoping the movement would make him stay awake.  Feliciano was only lying down because Germany told him to, and God knows he was definitely not going to take no for an answer.  So, here he was.  Racing thoughts and all battling against a smog of fatigue.

Feliciano’s head lulled to the side, against his will.

With a sharp intake of breath, the man forced his head back to its prior position.  His eyes felt so, so heavy and Feliciano felt a flash of anger course through his body.  Why can’t he do something as simple as just staying awake?  He knew that many of his friends; Japan, Germany, they could do it.  They could stay awake, so why the hell couldn’t he?  His breathing was becoming a bit uneven and shallow from the frustration that suddenly washed over his person and he knew that it must be showing on his face, something he didn’t allow much at all anymore because he had to stay strong.

Feliciano had been so consumed in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed the ruffle of sheets to his right.  In fact, it wasn’t until he felt weight pressing into the mattress of his own bed that he realized what was happening.  He found her sitting on the edge of his bed and Feliciano immediately sat up wiping the prior look off of his face like it was second nature.  His lips curved upwards into that of a cheerful expression.  The smile that usually warmed her heart so pleasantly sent a chill through her body.  She watched his mouth begin to move. She knew he was going to start spilling out words, but she interrupted him before he could even begin.

“Stop.”

Her tone felt like a gunshot to Feliciano’s heart.  His body broke out into a cold sweat upon realizing he had been caught in an act, that she had been awake longer than he had realized.  The young woman had certainly witnessed his previous episode, and the guilt churned in his stomach.  I mean, how could she not have seen it?  He couldn’t tell if the guilt was due to her having seen him so embittered or if it’s because he had tried to just pretend it never happened.  Probably both, Feliciano figured.

She watched the way his head dipped downward through her steely gaze.  It felt so foreign to her, looking at him this way.  She never wanted to.  Never in her life, but then again, she also never would have thought they would find themselves in a situation such as this.  Stuck in a hell house with danger at every turn.  Her mind suddenly flashed back to Feliciano’s speech from earlier today.  He had opened up.  About everything.  What he had gone through, the choices he had made…all that he had done to at least try to keep them all safe. 

Truly, what a weight Feliciano held upon his shoulders.

And this was why her gaze immediately softened.  Yes, she wanted him to be more honest, to stop putting up the front and to allow everyone else to step in and help with that burden he placed on his shoulders.  But, she also understood.  She couldn’t even begin to imagine what she would have done if the situation had found itself on her.  So, she decided that she should really cut him a hell of a lot more slack than what she just gave him.

The woman took a quick scan around the room.  She saw that many were wrapped up in whatever they were doing and that they paid no mind to what was happening between her and Feliciano.  Though, even if they did decide to glance over, she was sure that they would understand whatever they saw and let it be, considering everything.  So, with that, she brought a hand to the side of his face, allowing it to gently fall and brush against his hair.  She was surprised when he didn’t lift his head.  He only remained where he was, slightly hunched over, head tilted downward.  The woman’s throat felt tight, her hand trembling a bit as she brought her fingers to brush his soft hair behind his ear.  Though, she wasn’t sure why she did it because his hair wasn’t even long enough.  Gravity was quick to command it to fall back to its previous position, cascading over his face.  So instead, she settled in lightly brushing her thumb over his cheekbone.

She suddenly felt something warm against her hand…it was damp, too.  She didn’t miss the droplets that began to fall, being caught by either her hand or the bunched-up bedsheets below.

A part of her felt relieved to see Feliciano crying, simply from the fact that it used to be common happenstance with him from before they found themselves in the mansion.  Yet, the other part of it drowned her in so much sorrow that she could hardly breathe.  In that moment, they shared such a space of weight and emotion, the woman thought that surely she could sense every part of agony he was experiencing.  And she felt that if she didn’t get closer to him that she was going to be swallowed up by whatever force was threatening to break in.  That she would be lost forever and God she couldn’t imagine a world with Feliciano.  No, that would be no world to her at all.  That would be a living hell.  Maybe even more so than the place that they were in.

As if her life depended on it, she drew so incredibly close to him, nearly on his lap.  There were many times that they had been embraced in hugs between one another, but both of them knew that this was an intimacy that felt so, so different.  Feliciano’s heart leapt to his throat, the tears still falling as she lovingly brought the side of her face against his own.  Despite the heavy atmosphere, Feliciano felt himself flush just a bit as she was practically nuzzling herself to the side of his face.  He could feel the fanning of her breath, and the intimacy only made his tears fall faster as he was almost frantically searching for her hands.  His friend noticed this and met him halfway.  She almost jumped at the desperation in which he grasped at her hands.

This was just the comfort he needed in this moment.  How did she always seem to know what he needed?  He thought maybe she could read minds, but really, he knew that she couldn’t.  But maybe, Feliciano would just continue thinking that way because to him, she truly was like magic.  A magic that reminded him of the gentle glow of light that shone through stained-glass windows.  Or maybe the warm feeling of coming home after being away for far too long.  And she reminded him of lingering touches, those hugs you get from someone you loved. Or maybe…

…

Suddenly, Feliciano realized something.

He was in love with her.

God, how long had he been in love with her?  Oh, it had to have been quite some time that he traced back the moments he found himself with a fluttering heart.  How the hell had he been so blind…He really could be oblivious sometimes, couldn’t he?  His brother told him that all the time and, in this moment, Feliciano would most certainly agree.

The woman noticed the way he suddenly tensed in her arms and she became even more worried.  She pulled away from him just a bit, about to speak up and ask if he was okay, but was stopped upon the sound of his voice.

Feliciano mumbled something under his breath, his head still dipped downward.

His words were much too quiet for her to understand and she furrowed her brow a bit and asked him if he could repeat himself.  He seemed to pause a bit, as if caught off guard.  But finally, he brought his head up to finally meet her eyes.  Their honey color was so, so sweet even in their dismal appearance.

“…I said thank you.  I really needed this.”

He watched the way she smiled at him warmly, and Feliciano knew that his lie worked.  He couldn’t believe he had almost let that slip.  Well, technically it did, but it had been too quiet for her to hear.  Feliciano figured that’s what he got for being “the boy with his heart on his sleeve.”  That, once again, being of his brother’s words, not his own.  But this time, he’d wait.  He’d wait until they got out of this gruesome mansion.  Together.  Then, he would tell her the words that he really said:

“I’m so in love with you.”

[cookies-hetaoni]

Let me make one thing clear.

I am a 27 year old adult who got out of the Hetalia fandom shortly after releasing my version of HetaOni. It's been SEVEN years that I haven't accessed any memories related to this, and I suddenly decided to remake this game on a whim.

Yes, a whim. So, obviously, I don't remember much about it at all.

And like I mentioned, I am an adult whose only source of income is selling my art.

I own this blog. Many people followed me because they liked my art more than they did the game. I see NOTHING wrong in offering my commissions to the people who follow me here.

Yes. OFFERING. I'm not shoving my commissions down anyone's throat and forcing them to buy from me just because I'm working on hetaoni.

I'll say it once more. This blog is mine. I'll post whatever I want in it. If you're not happy, ask me to tag. If you're still unhappy, then fucking unfollow me. Block me. Stay away from me. But don't come over here telling me what and how to do things.

You don't own this blog. I created my own version of HetaOni. I am going to recreate that same version to the best of my abilities.

On a whim. Because I want to. That is all.

Not because I thought it could be profitable. Not because I had second intentions. Not because I want to take advantage of the fact that my version is one of the only playable versions of hetaoni.

But because I felt like it. Period.

Whether I share my commission info here or not is completely unrelated.

That said, I will continue working on the game. I have disabled anons and will block any stupid hater from here on out.

But be warned. If this shit goes on for too long and I get too stressed out I'm dropping this project. Because I am a 27 year old adult who can't waste any time with dumb Internet kiddos. (Or worse, people as old or even older than me who are so extremely pissed about the fact that I need to make a living for myself).

Are we clear? God, I fucking hope so.

[coralcatsea]

HetaOni Fanmade Ending Thoughts

I have both compliments and criticisms and just want to give my honest thoughts after playing.

I enjoyed the scenes with the nations themselves, such as Italy being trapped in his mind in a perfect simulation and Holy Rome, Prussia, Romano, and the two ancients working together to get him out. I liked the basic idea that Russia's seemingly disturbing phone calls were actually him trying to help, but not saying anything because he could never find the right time. I think the way England got his sight back made enough sense, although I think it'd be even better if he was shown having to deal with the consequences of the sacrifice a bit more, plus maybe America having more moments to react, get upset, and help him out.

What I didn't get into, however, was the explanation for why the events of the game happened. In short, everything with the 2ps. For me, their existence in the game felt very random and not at all organic. I think the plot with them could work in another game, but not HetaOni, because the original game had no build up that would ever make me expect a universe domination scheme with 2ps, plus the themes and styles don't match. It'd be like if you took Coraline and threw in an evil organisation that employed witches to rid the world of children, haha.

I think a backstory/myth just surrounding the lore of that one cursed house would've worked better, something focused more on Ryuuzu and the creatures as mysterious supernatural entities on their own rather than elements of a super ambitious plot. Maybe they can't even be fully explained. I do have ideas, but I feel it'd be better to make a separate post for that.

Moving on to the ending itself, I have mixed feelings. While the nations worked very hard together, I feel like the 2ps just deciding on their own to hand over an escape portal felt a bit...anticlimactic? It sort of removed their agency. I think it would've been better if they acquired an escape route on their own. Either by finding it, defeating a final boss and taking it, or even having to convince the one keeping them trapped to let them go.

Then, when they do leave the mansion, I'm okay with them expecting to lose their memories since that brought about a very sweet scene I felt fit all their growth so far, but then there should be a scene that triggers the memories to come back. That sort of happened with the candy, but it felt unsatisfying how little they remembered, because then it's hard to tell how much their arcs meant in the end. If their memories have to stay gone then I feel like they should at least have a moment expressing how strangely, they all feel a great deal closer to each other and less alone than ever before, maybe in an epilogue scene at the sleepover thing they decide to have.

These are just my opinions. Maybe they'll be taken into consideration for the remake, maybe they won't, but either way, it was interesting to see a continuation of the game. The art was great and made it a lot easier to take serious moments, well, seriously. Also, I don't know if/how much the original dialogue got tweaked, but it felt better than I remember. I'm sure it took a lot of hard work to recreate the game, so congratulations to Cookie for starting the project and seeing it through.

[noro-noro-noro]

oh post i saw reminded me! anyway dreams are half gone bc i woke up & started getting ready for the holiday party & then realized i remembered the time wrong & i have 45 more minutes to do whatever, like focusing on remembering dreams instead of actually picking out something to wear.

ok started with me & my friend we haad to hide overnight in some building to crack on illegal pokemon cards (?). after security locked up we ended up camping out in this very nice high rise office with windows all around. there was a remote to tint & untint the windows. hu tao was there & she slid me an illegal 70hp pikachu.

second dream...this is where it starts getting kind of hazy. nut stomp fetish guy was there. i think the original setting was some kind of holiday dinner at a place that was not my house. about halfway through, i had a stomach ache, so i went to the bathroom, but every public bathroom in dreams is absolutely filthy & disgusting. i won't share the details but let's just say the toilet was full & i couldn't use it, so i went back out to dinner.

later i was wandering around the area & he showed up. i shoved hiim away from me & he was like "bro chill" & i was like "i cannot stress how much i don't want to talk to you". then something else happened & i was back in the bathroom again by myself. my stomach hurt really bad, but i still wasn't gonna sit on that toilet, so i just kind of kneaded it. that hurt EXTREMELY bad so i lifted my shirt up & there was actually a huge hole in my stomach with like intestine hanging out & everything. they weren't even pink though it was like brownish yellow (more realistic but not swaggy). i was like well.! hm. okay i'm gonna take a shower then after i tuck all that back in & i'll hold the skin where it's supposed to be. after i got out of the shower i showed my dad & he was like "hmm" & put some glue on, so I guess it was fine.

i checked reddit & people were posting about hetaoni like "why isn't it continued?" i thought "what?" then thee was asomething else where now the main character of the dream was 4-armed kaneki ken but he was making the decision to ??? do something that was metagaming . for him. in the grocery store. still followed around by casey. thanks

[fictionkinfessions]

Ah… Truthfully, I never actually expected any responses nor recognition to my confession. Not saying this is a bad thing! It's a pleasant surprise, but goodness, what a source to be from. The fact that we're out here really is simultaneously relieving yet saddening. I wouldn't wish what we've gone through upon anyone.

@ the Italy from /720765951338037248/… Hello, it's very nice to meet you! Being from both Hetaoni and the 13.5 Creepypasta (which is what I assume you are referring to, I apologize if I am wrong) must be terribly rough, to say the least. I'm sorry you've had to bear such terrifying events.

…And, like you, I've also witnessed some horrors in my own youth (and unfortunately still continue to). I'm glad you seem to have been faring decently though. I'm managing as best as I can too, and have actually caught myself jokingly comparing some of the horrors from my Hetaoni canon to the ones in this current life, haha.

Though, I think since we've been given the chance to be a little silly this time around, we should take it. I may compose myself quite seriously in this shift, but outside of it I overall consider myself a person full of whimsy and delightful horror ^^

///

@ the Italy from /720769835534073856/… Hello, it's very nice to meet you too! I don't know about you, but I've only recently kinfirmed having this canon. It has been about a week or two at most, which isn't that long, but the dread and loneliness has been eating me up. It's quite a miserable feeling.

If you've been dealing with this for far longer (which is what seems like is the case, based on how you worded your message), then I'm sorry. But you certainly aren't alone. You never have been, even if it felt like such. Not back then, and not now.

Italy/Feliciano, you were tough and resilient, through and through. I've no doubt you've inherited that strength into this world as well. This goes for both of you, and all the other instances of Italy/Feli out there, whether from Hetaoni or not. I don't care what anyone else says, and I'm quite stubborn, so nothing will really change my mind on this.

I wish both of you well, and once again, please take care of yourselves. I'm doing my best in that regard, I promise. 🤍 I will also do my best in getting back to any other responses I receive (from either of you or anyone else).

Shaking both your hands and hoping you both have a wonderful day/night.

-- 🌸 Kiku Honda (Hetaoni)

(I do actually see myself submitting more of my kin-related thoughts and feelings here. It is extremely nice to see sourcemates, even if it's behind a wall of anonymity.)

(…Also, I duly apologize for the length of this text.)

[pureandnaughtysimmer]

I’m still working on my hetaoni mansion, which may take awhile since I still have the basement to do. Along with several more floors and then I have to fill it up with furniture. Honestly I’d already be working on it now if I wasn’t sick, instead I’m watching encanto again for the however many times this is now. But while watching the movie something occurred to me...

 I could get the weather machine thing that comes with seasons and then have Pepa use it from time to time like with her gift!!  Not sure why I hadn’t thought of that before but I love that idea and I’m excited!  I do want to eventually get back into my sims encanto stuff. Maybe I will soon, who knows but I think it’s about time I actually play my households. lol

[mansionfaraway]

the absolute NEED to discuss hetaoni in 2022 is killing me

[local-hyena-reblogs]

Okay so, basically, I made a diagram of the Hetalia fandom :

Anime

Fanart/fanfics

Nekotalia

Mochis

Nyotalia

2p!

Songs

HetaMyu

Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart

Gutters

The Danish Slaughterhouse

23.5

HetaOni

Manga

Gakuen Hetalia

Hetalia Fantasia

The Hetalian Horror Show

Gloria Hetalia (Fangame)

Hetalia x Goodnight with Sheep

Cleaning Prussia

Tbh I didn't expect it to be that long. So now, You can tell how deep you're into Hetalia with a score out of twenty.

Fo example, I'm at 23.5, BUT I skipper some things : the songs (I really don't know where to start, there's just so many???? Can someone help me please??????), HetaMyu (waiting for ly friend to finish the anime so we can watch it together) and the three fanfics (wich I want to read, but just not now). And I'm not that much into Nyotalia and 2p! (and, well, mochis are kinda apart) but I still know about it. So my score is 7/20, wich is not bad. The last 6 don't really count and are a "minor" part of the fandom (I really had to search to find these), so it's more like a 7/14. So I'm deep into Hetalia, but not as much as I thought.

I have to fix this 😏...

Small note : if you saw let's play of the games, it counts as 0.5 point. If you played it it counts as 1 point. (This might change, since idw wich games are actually available)

So now tell me, what's your score ^J^ ?

[oumaheroes]

I hate the thought of not knowing how the UK bro's felt during Hetaoni with England stuck in the manor. And yes I include Ireland in that thought.

Me too 😭 to be honest I would love to know so much more about Hetaoni, like how it ends

[shukumeinorivals]

sorry if this has been asked before, I'm new to this account and in tumbler in general, so I don't know how things work lmao. My question is how did yall get into translating?

Welcome, I hope you enjoy your stay!

I'm the only translator, so I can only give you one answer.

The short answer is, I got into it because I wanted to understand songs and video games related to Pokémon, Vocaloid and Hetalia.

The really long answer would be...

Story time!

When I was very young I heard one of the Pokémon openings in Japanese for the first time and fell in love with the way it sounded, so I asked my mom to get me a dictionary because I wanted to look up the words I heard and translate the song (lol I was kinda naive). I had no idea kanji or any other writing systems existed yet.

Anyway, she got me the dictionary and because it was in romaji, I actually learned a bunch of vocabulary and fixed phrases just by reading it obsessively. Some time passed and I learned a bit more about the language and kinda taught myself the katakana syllabary so that I could spell the names of my fav characters at the back of my notebooks. I was so proud about it.

A few years later, I was introduced to the wonders of Niconico, Vocaloid and Hetalia all at the same time by a friend I made online. She showed me a Hetalia hand-drawn MAD that had one of Luka's songs as BGM; after that, there was no going back for me, my child self was so amazed and wanted to understand those songs more than ever.

Naturally, I joined the fandom, where I got to know of the existence of doujinshi and fangames.

(Me after watching that video.) So I begged my mom to take me to Japanese classes. At first it was hard to find a school because I was younger than the minimum age some required but we eventually found one. Unfortunately, the courses at that school went only up to lower intermediate level (N3) so I finished rather quick. That was enough to understand doujinshi and pixiv comics but it took me literally hours to read through even short doujinshi and many songs I liked were still out of my league so I was a bit bummed. Around that time, I got super into hetaoni and I was really frustrated because I was struggling to understand all the dialogue but, when one of the translators in the fandom started translating it, I was so impressed and grateful and just wanted to be cool like them and help others understand too. That was probably the moment I decided I wanted to start translating for others as well and pay the favor forward.

Eventually, I grew confident enough to talk to a translator (it took me ages because I was extremely shy, like the kind that gets anxious and can’t even order at a restaurant shy lol) and ask them if they could check a few attempts I had made at translating stuff and I was glad when it wasn't ridden with corrections as I thought it would be.

I wanted to go back to classes but my schedule back then was packed with activities so I was like whatever, I'll teach myself the grammar for the next certification level and so, with the help of very useful webs like japanesetest4you, I did just that and I passed, against all odds. I did the same for the final one but I failed on my first try because my reading speed was not fast enough to finish all the readings, so I hired a tutor who made me read articles like crazy, against time for 6 months... it was torture, but it worked lol.

I'm still learning to this day, because I want to master it, but I basically use the skills I've obtained so far for exactly the same reason I started learning, which is understanding songs, video games, doujinshi and novels, as well as helping others understand them and hopefully encourage them to start their own learning journey.

Ao.

[imaginethebeautifulworld]

hi (: could you do a blind!england x protective!reader during the events of hetaoni? preferably a one shot (:

(: No (: amount (: of (: smiley (: faces (: can (: rid (: me (: of (: the (: emotional (: trauma (: that (: game (: gave (: me. (:

I only vaguely recall plot specifics of said game, Anon, so I offer advanced warning that I took quite a bit of creative license with this one. Also a note that this ficlet is set in one of the many unexplored timelines as I'm certain our favorite sarcastic spellcaster outtaxed himself repeatedly.

The mansion was full of ghosts. The atmosphere was over-saturated with them, heavy with their presence, nearly overwhelming you from the moment you had first set foot into this thrice-damned place. You had no way of knowing at the time that the ghosts you felt- the phantoms lingering in each dark corner, the specters cloistered away behind every locked door- were your own.

Not until-

No.

You weren't thinking about that right now.

Yet again, you forced your mind away from the blood, so much blood-! and back to guiding Arthur through the corridor, wincing silently at the awkwardness of his shuffling, trying not to panic too much at how prevalent his limp had become.

The hand not resting on your arm clung to Feli's diary, and you tried not to think too much about the crimson stain visible on the binding, refusing to think about the room that-

A heavy thud from somewhere deeper in the house halted all train of thought.

Arthur stiffened beside you, his left ear pointing towards the source of the sound, eyebrows furrowed in worry, eyes wide in fear.

Both of you held your breath.

Waiting.

Listening.

Praying.

Another thud, now accompanied by an odd shuffling, sounds you knew couldn't belong to any of your friends.

Cursing under your breath, you unsheathed Gil's sword, opting to keep it on hand in case the Thing reached you before you found a room in which you could barricade yourselves.

Arthur's hand brushed against your forearm, a silent plea you obliged without question. Resuming your search, you guided him ahead, begging whatever deity or benevolent spirit that may be listening for just-

You sagged with relief upon finding an open door, leading to a small, empty room- likely a closet at some point in time. Arthur angled his head towards you- the question never needing to be spoken as you offered your confirmation.

"We should be safe in here for a bit."

He arched a brow towards you, even as he let you guide him through the doorway, helped him sit on the floor, soon joining him after ensuring the lock was secure, little protection as it was.

He was hauntingly quiet, had been subdued since the last-

You knew he blamed himself for Fran, knew that-

Dim light trickled in from outside, the windows layered with years of dust. You didn't bother trying to open it, nor did you waste your energy in attempts to break it. The Mansion was sealed tight, and nothing Mystic nor Mundane was getting out.

You tried to avoid looking at him too much, especially his eyes. It hurt too much; every time you glanced at him it was in half-hope that you would see that beautiful, familiar green once more. But you were near inconsolable; the vibrant green that always reminded you of the moors in his homeland had dulled, nothing now save the lifeless, brackish grey of the marshes remaining.

And what was worse-

What was so much worse-

It was your fault.

You closed your eyes for a moment, let the small warmth of intangible sunlight settle around you, let yourself pretend that you were both at home, sharing a spot in the parlor, simply enjoying one another's company after a long day with the family.

Perhaps some part of him was yearning for the same, as he never truly had relinquished his hold on you. It was more a gentle connection between his fingers and your wrist now, but he hadn't-

You released a shaky breath, hanging your head and opening your eyes once more to your bleak surroundings.

The thudding had disappeared, though the hope that the Thing itself had left was one immediately quashed. They had a capability for seemingly materializing out of thin air, taking you all repeatedly by surprise.

Arthur was resting his head against the wall, eyes focused somewhere near the ceiling. You instinctively went to look yourself, mentally berating yourself when you remembered-

You turned away, overwhelmed by the rancid bouquet of guilt, helplessness, and antipathy. And beneath it all, the fine thread weaving it all together, was your grief, your aching over the loss of-

Everyone, now, actually.

Everyone else was dead.

You had been holding out hope, held it out for so long, but when Kiku-

Then Ivan-

Felice told you everything, frantically, desperately, shoved the journal into your hands, begged you to try again, for your forgiveness, for-

Arthur's head falling to rest upon your shoulder snapped you back to attention, the movement reestablishing your awareness, grounding you in the present. His fingers were woven with your own now, the intimacy of it all so damned familiar and gentle that you could only stare stupidly.

"You should go."

Silence reigned for several moments following his proclamation, the words dancing aimlessly in the air until they finally registered.

Appalled, aghast, you angled your head towards him, aggravation coating your reply. "Once you're rested enough to come with me."

From your angle, you couldn't make out the shape of his scowl, nor could you quite determine the level of irritation surely marring his features, but it was clearly painted into his words. "How many times are we going to have this bloody argument? I can't-"

"I don't care," you growled out, refusing to hear him finish his statement. It was, after all, a point of contention he had been trying to claim victory of for near the whole day now. Sighing in partial defeat, you allowed your tone to soften. "I can't lose you too, Arthur. Pl-"

You turned, dropping your face into his hair, the conflicting scents of his mousse, blood, dust, and lingering Magicke all assaulting you for the effort. Your words fell out as a pleading whisper, eyes closing for the small prayer. "Please don't ask that of me."

"Darling, please-"

"Stop," you interrupted, sharp and desperate, every possible emotion bound to that single syllable.

Arthur, shockingly obliging, said nothing further, silence reclaiming you both.

You knew his logic was sound: without his vision, he couldn't read the spell correctly, wouldn't be able to reset the clock. And while Felice had assured you that the spell would heal all injuries, would reset everything-

Arthur's vision was taken by Magicke; there was no guarantee he would ever see it again.

If you had just-

If you had only-

"It's not your fault."

Arthur once again cut off your thoughts before they could spiral too far downwards, stealing your attention with those four words alone. You opened your mouth in hopes of offering a protest, but found you couldn't formulate one coherent enough to articulate. Instead, you sighed in resignation, relaxing incrementally against him. 

"You're incorrigible."

He huffed out the foundations of a laugh at that, humming quietly in agreement. "Would you have me any other way, luv?"

The exchange was so hauntingly familiar, so mundane, so perfectly ordinary that for one small moment-

Arthur seemed to sense the shift in your mood, his pinky brushing against your own, soon twining the two together.

Together.

You were leaving here, together, no matter how much a stink he may raise insisting otherwise. It was no matter how much of a self-sacrificial ass Kirkland could be; your determination was even more formidable an opponent.

He was an idiot if he honestly thought you would abandon him, if he truly thought you could leave him.

Your lives were interwoven together, bound through years of friendship and affections and sharing hopes and dreams and eventually even the most intimate of secrets. It was true you had been close to the Others, and losing each of them had been beyond devastating. But to lose Arthur-

You once again forced that train of thought away, refusing to even consider the possibility.

You had already lost so much. You couldn't lose him, too.

There was a hitch in his breath, a silent snore you would recognize anywhere. You felt the flicker of a smile, that familiar warmth that always seemed to strike whenever he fully relaxed around you. Gently lifting his hand to press a kiss to his knuckles, you turned once more to the door, free hand adjusting around Gi- your sword.

You'd let him sleep, for at least a few minutes.

Then you were both leaving this hellhole.

Whether he liked it or not.

[thatoneitaliangirl]

Interesting Dreams

I really think I have an issue with otome games- Ikemen in particular. Like, I had the weirdest dream last night, and I mostly blame otome games. It was one of those dreams that are dramatic and feel like your watching a movie, but they also are so fucking random and are jumping all over the place- at one point there was a boy dressed in a cape and I called him out for being suss and he said in a fake posh British accent, whilst swooshing his cape mind you,

“I’m sorry, you see, I have stage 4 ADHD.” And I was just so confused, I was like,

“Did you just compare your ADHD to cancer?” 

The main part of my dream is why I’m here today to tell you this fanciful story. 

Basically, I was some beautiful vampiric woman with a dramatic backstory. I don’t remember everything, but I was living in a mansion with some other people, and I had been turned into a vampire. What does that sound like, hmm? Unfortunately, the people I was living with were not great historical figures, or even vampires, we were just all misfits with no where to go, living together in this large creepy mansion in the middle of nowhere. And when I say creepy, I mean this place was like something out of Scooby Doo. Dark, gloomy, and it even had a freaking cemetery in the back. In my tragic back story, I was married to some noble or something. I remember that our clothes looked fancy and that we were probably rich, and it was like late 1700′s early 1800′s or so. We had a son who was maybe about 6 or 7, and in the beginning I had thought that both of them were murdered and I was left alive, and afterwards was turned to a vampire for some reason, I don’t know. The thing with being turned into a vampire though was that it came with a curse of sorts. Once turned into a vampire, no one could recognize you, or at least, wasn’t supposed to. I guess that’s a pretty good defense after turning, so you couldn’t be caught, but I don’t know. So, my husband shows up, and it’s like present time at this point, and for some reason I can recognize him, but he can’t recognize me. I’m freaking out, cause one, he’s supposed to be dead, two, I know that it’s him and I’m not supposed to, and three he believes I’m the reason our son died and he recently received news that I’m alive and has been hunting me down to kill me. Now, he has suspicions that I am in fact me, and his time at the manor is spent trying to prove that I am me and wanting to kill me. I don’t know why, but at one point I find myself in the cemetery out back being followed by my husband and the two men he’s traveling with. I’m surrounded by gravestones and its foggy as fuck, and I remember looking back and seeing them. With some quick thinking, I use magic of some sorts and change the name on a random gravestone to my name, which, btw, isn’t my real full name. It’s my real first name, Jenna, with the last name Clemence. Shocker. Though, the man that’s my husband is neither Luka, nor Jonah. I don’t remember my dream ever giving him a first name, but he didn’t look anything like Jonah or Luka. If anything he looked like a mixture of Zen from Mystic Messenger, and Prussia from Hetalia. He had long white hair that was put back in a low ponytail, and it had one of those bows in it you see in men from like the 1700′s. But, after he was turned into a vampire, his hair changed into a dark maroon color and his bangs were a bit more perfect and nice if that makes sense. So, I put my name on this gravestone, and he comes over to me and I point it out to him. I’m like, 

“Oh, I know I have the same first name as your late wife, but look! This appears to be her gravesite! It would seem she has passed after all!” And he’s like super suspicious of me, but he can’t out right prove that I’m his wife, and so he chooses to drop it. Weirdly enough, this is where my dream kind of jumps, because it goes from us being in the cemetery, to me and two other guys from the manor searching the house in which my husband and son had ‘died’ to find out how my husband survived and how he was turned, but that’s where it stops. I remember bits and pieces of the house, that it was really weird and falling apart. Thinking about that house actually gives me weird vibes, I don’t know why. Like just imagining myself being there is creepy I guess. Anyway, my dream jumps from that act to another with an entirely different plot. We’re in the same mansion, but for some reason I’m now an Inhuman with electricity powers, and I’m apart of the Avengers . . . I did binge watch the new Avengers game, so that could be why-

But we’re stuck in the mansion, and for some reason can’t get out. Like it’s not explained or mentioned, I just know that we’re stuck and can’t even set foot outside the mansion. Tony Stark’s arc reactor in his chest starts to malfunction, and the only way to keep it going is to take it out and for me to ‘charge’ it with my powers by putting it in my mouth . . . But not just in my mouth, no, it has to be touching my teeth- I don’t know why, and I never claimed that my dreams make sense- but holding it in my teeth hurts like a bitch, and I remember actually feeling the vibrations in my teeth and how badly it hurt. Like, I find it insane that my dream was so vivid that I can still remember the exact pain I was feeling in my teeth. (Low key, I think this might prove my suspicion that I’m grinding my teeth in my sleep, but I digress) It was really weird. But, to remedy this, Tony creates this blue jelly like stuff to put over my teeth, kind of like a whitening strip, that puts a buffer between my teeth and the vibrations and it stops the pain. A couple of times during this act of my dream, I had to fight things- they were like entities that were in this mansion, and again, while it was never specifically mentioned, I knew in my dream that these things where what was keeping us stuck in there, and that we were trying to hide from them. Kind of like Hetaoni if your apart of the Hetalia fandom. If not, it’s a game (Based on another game) featuring the characters from the anime Hetalia that get stuck in a mansion and can’t leave due to an entity messing with time and keeping them stuck there. And while the mansion gave me weird, creepy vibes, nothing about time was ever mentioned, and the only thing I remember about fighting them was that I was drooling a lot because of the stupid blue shit I had to keep on my teeth and the constant vibrations from charging. My dream had briefly jumped from that to another act where we were still in the mansion, but this time I was a doctor. My doctor name wasn’t my real name, I can only remember that it was long and started with a D. And I literally remember nothing of that part of the dream, but I remember I was a doctor, because at one point I had actually woken up in real life to move, and I heard a voice from behind me whisper ‘Dr. ______’ whatever my name was, and I remember thinking to myself,

“Oh shit, something just said my name. That was creepy, but I’m going to choose to ignore it and go back to sleep.” And after that, I remember nothing. Do I think there was some being whispering in my ear? No, obviously not. What it probably was, was that even though I was awake and had opened my eyes for a couple of seconds, I wasn’t fully awake and was still kind of dreaming. I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but sometimes when I’m falling asleep and I’m in that space where I’m not awake, but I’m still aware of my surroundings and I’m not fully asleep, sometimes I’ll start to hear voices and noises. I’ve always just kind of explained this to myself as my dreams starting to form, but I don’t know if that’s really what it is. What I’m trying to say is that this is what I think the voice was. It was a really freaky dream, and I just find it odd that no matter how much my dream changed it’s story line, it all revolved around that one mansion-

[cookies-hetaoni]

Hi! So, I did write one (1) of those anons (the one which you responded "i just read your criticism but i do not care at all because it sounds like a you problem" to). I wanted to add little bit of context for my previous words, since I do not want to come off as rude or anything of the sort, my intentions are good /gen.

Okay, so, I replayed your HetaOni ending version a few months ago, and, long story short, it was bad. There is a lot to say about it, and since I'm sure you kept your ask-box open because you are willing to hear some constructive criticism, I will take my time to do just that.

(COOKIE'S PREVIOUS HETAONI ENDING SPOILERS BELOW IF ANYONE WANTS TO PLAY IT, BEWARE!)

First, the 2P! issue, since that was the main point I wanted to make within my anon message.

So: the 2P!s are nor essential, nor necessary. Ever since the second they appear for the first time, they seem out of place, and it is obvious to anyone that has played the "original" one that the plot was never going to go there. Using original characters (even if they are kind of fandom-rooted, they are non-canon since you gave them "personalities" of their own) that take the spotlight from the ACTUAL main cast is, at best, a lazy way for trying to move the plot forward. There is literally no correlation between your half of the game and Tomoyoshi's; if it weren't for the artwork you could think that they are two different games. It's obvious that you jumped into that project with no idea about how to handle it, and you should have taken more time to do so. It does not give the impression that you wanted to give HetaOni the ending it deserved, but that you wanted to make a game about your OCs taking the spotlight instead. And those are two very different things.

People may love it or people may hate it, those are valid subjective feelings; but the fact is that the story was not handled the way it should have been, at all.

Plot aside, the characterization of the actual canon characters was poorly done too (I won't even mention their lack of development after the 2P!s are introduced, since the original cast pretty much turned into stereotypical filler cardboard cutouts by then). For example, America (in Tomoyoshi's version) was worried about England 99% of the time, and he always lost it whenever he used magic because it was really REALLY dangerous and damaging to do so. In your version, England used magic to clean Spain's ass. I won't elaborate the discrepancies any further since I hope you are seeing my point here.

By the way, the whole thing about England getting his eyes to work again? In the nicest way possible, I would like to know what crossed your mind when you made that decision because I genuinely cannot comprehend what the thought process was. You took one, if not THE most iconic moment in the whole game and brushed it of five minutes later like it was nothing. You even changed the ICONIC "England's theme" for some other random soundtrack (you did this in several different occasions too).

Put simply, not only did you add things that were anti-climatic and underwhelming; but you made the good things worse. Except for the artwork. Your icons were really pretty. The rest sucked, though.

Back to the point I wanted to make; you should listen to criticism and be open to change, so that you won't make the same mistakes from before. You made that previous version many years ago, so I'm sure that you've had plenty of time to reflect on your previous lack of writting skills and get better at it... eventually.

Giving the "I'm not really planning on changing anything from the ending and removing the 2P would be kind of a bother so I wont do it either" attitude, even after seeing (in that poll you made) that many people think the ending was underwhelming, sounds both condescending and rude to the people who have been supporting your game even since 2016. We know it's a non-profit fan project, so it's not like people should demand anything from you, but you should have some respect for both the people who played/want to play it and Tomoyoshi, at least. Poor girl had to go through a tsunami and you won't even take your time to make an ending that doesn't revolve around your own characters.

Plus, getting mad at other people's feedback does not give the cool gamedev vibes you think it does. Not talking about the anons insulting you, of course, but the ones that have good intentions. And no, people giving feedback about a game you took from someone else and added things to while making it public is not the same as having bad intentions, by the way.

I'm just saying this because HetaOni is one of the most iconic RPGMaker fangames ever, and you are one of the people with the biggest audience out there making fan-content about it. Before you tell me or anyone else to "go make the game yourselves since you are so good at it and since you hate me and my ending and my characters so much!", you know it would make no difference if anyone else tried to remake it, because it wouldn't reach as many people as it would with you being the one making it.

You have the means to make a good game, since your art skills are really good, but you need to work on the plot writting department first. HetaOni has a great narrative base, you can make a great ending for it if you just think about it for more than five seconds and try not to rush it like you did for the previous one. I took my time to write this whole long-ass essay because I want it to be a good game, made by someone who seems like they care at least a single bit.

Like I said before, I hope I did not come off as rude, and good luck!

Oh boy, here we go.

First of all, I'm glad you came off anon. It really feels nice to talk to someone who isn't afraid of sharing their opinion.

However, as much as you have your opinion, I am obviously allowed to have mine as well. You wrote a whole essay on this and I can see how passionate you are about the game, but I don't know if I'll be able to answer to every single thing you pointed out (though I'll try my best)

About it being obvious that Tomoyoshi wasn't going to go there: honestly, I asked Tomoyoshi to remake their game; they didn't share their ending with me. People's minds work different. And for me, in my mind, the ending with 2Ps could very well work just fine since the mansion is haunted and that's also not canon in hetalia at all. There are a thousand ways one could go about the ending, and I just chose one of them. Are you obligated to like it? No. But say it was completely unnecessary is really just your opinion. Was the ending underwhelming for many? Yes, of course. Like I said, I'm only human and can't please everyone, and like I also said, I'm aware that the ending wasn't the best given the circumstances I had back then.

You can't come and tell me I "should have thought better", or "should have taken more time". You know nothing about me or my life. I do things as I want to, when I want to.

I am open to constructive criticism, but you're just coming here and saying my ending was shit because you personally disagree with everything I did. I do agree that after the 2Ps showed up there wasn't much of a game anymore, and that England's being able to see again probably wasn't a good choice, at least not for that time (it's been years and I don't remember how I did it very well).

About the soundtrack, if I changed it it's probably because I couldn't find the original sources. Like I mentioned various times, I worked on that game almost completely alone with almost zero help. It took a lot for me to find other music that could sound good in the game that weren't from the original one too.

The "I'm not really planning on changing anything from the ending and removing the 2P would be kind of a bother so I wont do it either" is also a bad interpretation of yours. What I meant is, like I also said numerous times, since I decided to remake this game on a whim (yes, one day a few weeks ago I suddenly had the thought: "Why not remake the game?" and that's really why I'm doing it), I am again working on this while having no idea which direction it's going to take. Since I made my version with the 2Ps, naturally, in my mind, the game makes more sense with 2Ps. It doesn't have to make sense to you. It's what makes sense to ME.

And honestly, I think I am allowed to have liberty in creating whatever I want for the ending. Like you said, no one's paying me to do this, I'm doing this out of my own free will. Is it for you guys to play? Yes. Do I have to keep you in mind while working on it? Of course. But that doesn't mean I have to accept each and every suggestion/"constructive criticism" you guys give. I don't have to agree with everything you guys say, and more importantly I have to have fun while doing this otherwise it's just not happening.

Also, how do you think I gained my followers? I worked hard for them. I worked hard for years, but I most definitely didn't work hard to have someone tell me how to do my job properly because what I do "sucks". If you don't like it, then just don't play it. If you're so repulsed by the idea of me adding 2Ps because to you they don't make sense then why are you even following me in the first place? My "if you think you can do better then do your own game" argument still stands. Work hard to get your own followers and work hard to make your own game. Don't come telling me my work was shit and add "i don't want to be rude" before you proceed to do that because it just doesn't work. Don't know if it's a language barrier or whatever but to me, you are being pretty rude, yes.

And there you go, assuming shit again. I'm most definitely not trying to give off "cool game dev vibes". I am genuinely stressed out that me, an adult, who is working on a game just for fun has to listen to some random person on the internet literally attack me about how I did such an incredibly bad job at something I did out of my own free will just to LEARN how to work on RPG Maker at that time and decided to share.

If Tomoyoshi wanted me, or any other person who remade HetaOni, to give the exact same ending they were going to then I'm pretty sure they would've contacted me or some other game dev to tell us where they were going with it and how it was supposed to end. But they didn't. They just said "okay, thanks for asking first" and that's it. You are NOT Tomoyoshi's CEO. If you had talked to them personally and they had told you that they were offended by my ending, then I would obviously go and apologize to them for doing something they weren't comfortable with me doing. But none of this happened. And I really think it wouldn't happen, because as far as I know they aren't in the fandom anymore and probably don't care much about the game as much as you do.

If your criticism were actually constructive you would've at least sent me some suggestions- but no, you really just made me read an essay on how much you disliked the game and why while telling me off on stuff you believe you're right about.

I'll say this and I'll say it for the last time: You are NOT obligated to like my game. You are not obligated to follow me or whatever, but you just do NOT have the right to tell me what to do, dude. I can listen to people's suggestions, sure, but I can't promise anything. I am working on this freely and I would like to have fun with this project. I don't know where I'm going to go with it but if in the end it ends up having 2Ps in it then it's gonna have 2Ps in it. Doesn't mean I haven't listened to people who tried to convince me otherwise, though. Just means I made a choice of my own, which I am allowed to do.