#more review under the cut but they're spoilers cause SO GOOD

[darsynia]

I love how you start the chapter with a thesis statement of how Ransom is used to loving and wanting things: because they're HIS. Which, ya know, isn't healthy, heh.

IDK if anyone else caught 'liquid stone' but you know I did!

“You know what?” He’s about to lunge out the window to choke that fucking prick. “Definitely eat shit.”

Flawless.

Ahahahhaha oh my god it's a shame 'road head bitch' isn't a line you can show off in polite conversation but it's so perfect here.

The filthy, desperate for more than one way sex scene being so heartfelt, gosh, we don't deserve you, woman.

Now, to Ran's surprise, he loves you, and he has no fucking clue how to love both. He doesn’t know if he can keep both.

“A week? Well, I hope I pay better than that.”

You really are ridiculously good at arguments, I'm dying

Oh and then you go and prove how good these two are together as if we weren't already just FULLY INVESTED how dare

By the time you come on Ran’s fingers, he’s completely feral thinking about all those little ways you showed your feelings, all the ways you showed him kind touch is not weakness. You also showed him that touch doesn’t have to be weak to be kind. He can be rough with his feelings for you, intense as they are. He can sink his cock into you, practically screaming that he loves you, too, but the words aren’t spoken.

NONE OF US DESERVE THIS but fuck I'm glad we have it. The amoeba line is just as good in context as it was when you told me as you wrote it!!

This is so good, I do not at all judge you (as you worried) poorly for having written it so well, and thank you for posting it! ALL the flowers for you!!

The Root Of All Ransom (Finale)

Ransom Drysdale x rich!Reader (see previous or series)

Summary: Ransom figures out how to undo his disinheritance.

Warnings for language (I'm never kidding about how many f-bombs this boy drops), smut (blowjob, p in v sex that is consensually unprotected, general smuttery), vague contemplations of murder but we ain't going the canon route. MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY. There is plenty else for you to read on my Light Masterlist. This is not your story!

I have somehow managed to put Ransom Drysdale deep in his feels. This is only OOC if you haven't read up to this point, but we do end on a soft!Ransom note. WC 6954 (oh my fucking wat???)

Ransom huffs out a foggy breath in the night air, cold in more ways than one. All the windows glow from the mansion, yet it looks completely different in light of what Harlan’s done.

Thrombey Manor is his birthright. He doesn’t love the architecture or the eccentric layout. He hates the furniture. He’s never really enjoyed anything about the place. It’s the polar opposite of his own house, but it was his in a way, part of his status, part of his baseline of existence. He’s not prepared for any other eventuality. Ransom built his life on a perfectly stable bridge that some idiot just blew up with C4.

No, no, not some idiot. His own family. The only member of his family he would think could never do this to him. Fuck Harlan.

Ran’s been flying high on a lie, and the magic money carpet’s been ripped away.

He has one lifeline, one option he’s grasping onto.

If he can manage this, nothing will change. He won’t lose the allowance. He won’t lose you. You’ll never know how unworthy he is. He can just have everything and never speak of this again.

Harlan. Marta. Inheritance. Killing two birds with one liquid stone.

Ran could do it. He will do it, but you cannot know. He can’t have you around. He has to push, to start giving you a safe distance, to leave you plausible deniability. If you suspect, you’ll leave him anyway. 

If he succeeds, worst case? He’s rich and alone. If he does nothing? He’ll be poor and alone.

One of those scenarios used to be acceptable, but not now, not anymore.

Pushing you away tonight might be the last time you ever look at him without pity, and he’s not ready for how heavy that sits in his roiling gut. He has to though. He has to make you leave, if only for the rest of the night—but it might be forever, his brain reminds him. Fucker. It’s not like Ran’s pleasant to be around. Getting away from him shouldn’t be a hard sell.

When you emerge from the house, however, what he hoped would sound sharp and dismissive sounds oddly open-ended.

“You could just walk from here,” he tries wishfully.

True to form, beautiful, pissed-off you sidesteps his expectations.

You take his coat, your coat, and the Birkin to the passenger’s side with a ferocious look.

“Get in the car,” you manage through tight lips.

Fuck. He misses you already. He hasn’t given up. He won’t, but his center of gravity is gone. He’s reeling from this.

Hugh Ransom Drysdale revolves around money.

His whole life he has stretched wide and greedy limbs to capture numbered, green rays of meaning. He hasn’t only lost the light of his sun now. No. Nuclear winter has just stripped him bare and knocked him on his ass. Ran cannot articulate all the reasons he’s so upset.

He values you and him together for relatively selfish reasons. From all he’s seen, you don’t need any more people in your life that exist so far below you. You don’t need ‘help.’ You need an equal, a free and independent equal. Ran isn’t even fucking close anymore.

With a stroke of a pen, he’s now dependent. It’s pathetic. If he stays without even the means to be your not-quite-equal, then he’s everything he hates. He’ll be clingy. He’ll be needy. He’ll be in the way. He’ll finally do it; he will annoy you.

He will bore you.

What a fucking world.

You snap him out of his dashboard stare.

“Do you want to talk about it now or at home?”

“Neither,” he quips easily. “I’ll drop you at the Carlyle’s.”

His eye twitches at his faux pas. You don’t have to correct him. He knows it’s your place, your name, your property, and your right to claim. He doesn’t need reminding.

His key twists in the ignition just as your hand comes up to his shoulder.

He can’t even glare at you properly because a tap rings off his window pane. Both of you jump in alarm because night fell hours ago. Who sneaks up on a car in the fucking dark?

Ran’s father is fucking who. Of course. The window peels down, and Ransom feels as if the last seconds of his life are draining away after the plug’s been pulled.

“Trouble in paradise, you two?” Dick asks with cheeky concern.

“No, Mister Drysdale,” you say politely, no hint of insincerity in your smile.

“Richard, please, honey. You’re practically family.”

Smug asshole, do NOT call her ‘honey.’

“Eat shit,” Ransom mutters overly loud again, but your sudden slow grip on his kneecap tells him to behave. Ol’ Dick has no right to call you ‘honey’ though. Ran’s not even sure what he’s allowed to call you, and he’s pissed, sure. He’s…something else, too; he’s obedient beneath your hand.

Richard ignores Ran’s attitude. “Listen, son, I just wanted you to know that whatever happens, your mother and I will always love you. In case…ya know, in case you ever doubted, and…well, we’re family. We stick together.” He even gives Ran a squeeze on the shoulder for emphasis.

Ransom has no fucking clue what his father intends with that entirely useless statement but doesn’t fucking care. “You know what?” He’s about to lunge out the window to choke that fucking prick. “Definitely eat shit.”

Your grip tightens, and Ran’s insides clench, knowing he toes a line.

“We should really go,” you add with a now painful, strained civility.

“Okay, you crazy kids,” Richard pats his heavy hand on the door frame. “Thanks for coming to the party and we’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“Of course, Richard.”

Ransom rolls the window back up without looking at you. That sure as shit was not his father’s reaction to Harlan throwing millions at Marta fucking Candelabra. He can’t be near these people anymore, so Ran slams his foot on the gas, peeling out of the driveway, and scattering gravel in his wake.

Your sigh releases with the pressure on his knee. “I suspect it’s about his affair.”

As if that narrows it down. “Which one?”

“The first one as far as your grandpa knows,” you snort, “which hopefully Linda buys too from the way you’ve talked about it. Jesus, really? Slow down!”

Ran doesn’t want to slow down. The car is finally catching up to his racing thoughts and a plan coalescing. If Harlan knows about Richard’s affair, then his mother will absolutely divorce him, leaving Dick with nothing—and if you know that Harlan knows about it then—

“Hugh—” the hand has slid from his knee to his crotch, the heel of your palm gently digging into the stiff fabric of his jeans “—we should have taken care of you before…”

Fuck, that feels good.

You’re right, of course. Ran really should have planned a few minutes of privacy for you both to get off after the airport. Not that it’d have to be private for him (parking lot, terminal, or tarmac—he wouldn’t fucking care), but the thought flashes in his mind like the bright spots behind his eyelids that he might not get to fuck you again. That’s profoundly upsetting, and your grip on the outline of his swelling cock is profoundly distracting.

He swats at your arm, blood rushing to his tension-white knuckles only for a second, but you simply swivel in the seat to change hands, dragging down his zipper.

“Sweetheart�� slips out. Is he allowed to say that anymore? He should still act normal, right? Except he’s been a raging mess for a quarter-hour already and oh fuck. “What are you…”

Ran’s been wrong this whole time: you are a road head bitch.

He’s so taken aback by your spit-slicked lips cooly brushing the head of him that he nearly elbows your spine. The car swerves slightly as he strains to collect himself, to think of just one other thing instead of your fucking tongue sliding down his length to tease at his still-covered balls and—

Mother of fucking mercy, he has to pull over.

Only by some miracle, some blessed (or horrible) gap in his distraction, is he able to consciously choose parking off the lane just beyond the menagerie elephant statue because, otherwise, that pervy-ass groundskeeper could relive his long-forgotten past of grainy porn. Because that’s what this is turning into. Pornographic is the only way to describe the choked grunt Ran finally lets out as he slams on the brake and you snap the car into park just to get the gear shift out of your way.

“I’m only here three days,” you say around a mouthful of cock, bobbing a few more times before switching to your hand. “I’m not letting you ruin it by being fucking baby.”

“I’m not—fuck—“ he’s not expecting you to climb over him in the cramped car “—you don’t understand.”

“So you don’t want me right now?”

He shakes his head furiously, half in hope of collecting genuine thought, half in desperation for you to continue.

Space is so limited between Ran’s body and the steering column that your bent knees pin his arms to the door and the console. It should hurt but fuck if he’s gonna say anything while he watches you peel your panties to the side and line yourself up. 

“Gah, you just—“ he pants as his heart rate spikes. Instead of putting him in you, Ran’s paralyzed to stop two of your fingers from sinking into your soaked pussy. You’re drooling for him, mouth and cunt, and goddamn, he is so torn between pounding you into next week or tossing you out of the car to get on with his plan.

It’s about an 80/20 split in favor of fucking you.

And then he thinks…yeah, he could definitely get off and get you to the Carlyle’s—your place—in time to sneak back. So he just lets go, shoving his face forward to capture your lips, enjoying the wet sounds as you prep for him, and eating up your moans and curses. He knows you’re purposefully dragging your knuckles against his dick as you bring them out with each stroke. Why are you so fucking hot? Why can’t he just have this without Harlan’s help? 

He’s dependent.

Ran realizes he always was, but he fucking hates it.

Removing your fingers makes the bunched-up dress pool over your hips and graze his raging erection. Great, now your spit and his precum are smeared all over your clothes. Normally, that wouldn’t bother him. Normally, that would be even hotter. Now, Ran wonders how much that damn thing costs because he never even looked; he just knew it suited you.

A steady grip at his base and suddenly Ran can’t wonder about any fucking thing under the sun. Your walls welcome him inch by inch like he’s goddamn worthy of that silky squeeze, but he can’t say shit. All he can manage is craning his neck forward to mouth over your nearest breast, arms still pinned. Fuck it. More fluids on the dress. If you don’t care, he doesn’t care. Maybe. Maybe he’ll just care later. Maybe he’ll learn to look at the cost of things. Maybe he won’t have to when he succeeds at fixing this dumpster fire of a situation.

His teeth graze against a barely felt but hard-peaked nipple, and you gasp out another moan. You have to shift to wedge your leg down by his side and repeat with the other one. One of his forearms is tingling, asleep, so he switches his mouth around and uses the functioning arm to play.

You’re moving so slow, too slow.

“You fucking love to mess with me,” Ran growls, all but biting through the layers before yanking at the neckline, savoring the plush skin he exposes. “Love fucking me,” he mutters again.

“Yeah, baby, why do you think that is?” You use the name so condescendingly and roll your hips so deliberately that Ransom bites back a ‘fuck you,’ instead forcing out a strangled whine. You just drag yourself up and down until he answers, pushing his t-shirt and an errant tail of his cardigan out of the way. Your fingers gently scratch the flat plain of his abs.

“Say it.”

He knows the answer. He’s known for a while, but that’s not something Ran’s ever gonna be ready for. It’s just already the truth.

It’s as soft as a hum against your skin.

“Say it, Hugh. Tell me why.”

He can tell by how you’re getting sloppier with your movement, by how hard you grind forward against him, that you’re close.

“Because you love me.” Ran winces at how desperate he sounds. It’s almost a cry, but he can’t really resist repeating it. “You love me.”

Your hands bury in his hair, and he’s literally covered in you while trapped in this fucking steam room of a car. He can’t control anything he’s doing.

“You love me,” he says again.

“Yes.”

“You love me.”

“Fuck, yes, baby.”

You’re fluttering around his cock like a dream, shouting encouragement, and it just slips out.

“I love you.”

He has no idea if you even hear him because you come so hard that your back bends, slamming you against the steering wheel.

The horn blares in the quiet woods.

You wait for him to yank you forward and erupt into sated giggles while Ran is a whole different kind of paralyzed, hiding his face in your chest for as long as you’re simmering without care.

Your fingers card through sweaty hair, your heartbeat slowing more than his does.

“Think you need this,” you say in a breathy whisper. You pull away to cradle his face.

He’s terrified you’re gonna ask. You’re gonna want him to say it again, he thinks, and Ran’s not sure he can with your eyes boring into his, knowing what he knows, being what he is until the will is void.

“I want you to come, Hugh.” Your thumb traces across his bottom lip, gaze following before it flickers back up.

You sound so fucking innocent while your slick is smeared all over his low belly and seeping through his underwear. His boxers are kinda in the way but kinda immovable while in such cramped quarters. Pushed aside, they hinder only as much as your bunched-up panties do. Easy enough to live with.

You keep staring expectantly.

“Do you want me to stop—“ fuck NO “—or will you give me what I want?”

Ran’s whole chest clenches, and it’s only because he slams his mouth to yours that you can’t see his eyes roll in fucking ecstasy. Perfect. You’re goddamn perfect. He couldn’t deny you anything much less this, and he knows that if this is the last time, he has to take advantage.

Sliding down slightly on the seat (because everything operates in centimeters at most this close), he takes two giant handfuls of your ass and spreads you, lifting so he can thrust his hips up at a brutal pace. He doesn’t fucking care if his knees bang against unyielding metal. He doesn’t care that a vein in his neck might snap from strain. He just needs this one thing, and then he’ll let it go. He’ll be ready for whatever outcome Harlan’s death triggers.

Because Ransom needs money. He had money long before he had you. It’s what he needs the most in life. He loves money.

If losing you is what it takes to keep the money…

That’s the thought he can’t finish as control of the urge to come slips from his bruising fingers. His desire for his status quo is faltering. His equilibrium’s changed.

He does love money. He does.

Now, to Ran's surprise, he loves you, and he has no fucking clue how to love both. He doesn’t know if he can keep both.

But friction is friction. He’s surrounded by the feel and sound and smell of sex. It’s familiar and more than a little haunting to him if this is the last time, but Ran crests that mountain before any coherent thoughts form. He can’t trust himself to speak. He might repeat what he never should have said aloud.

The groan when he empties himself inside you is almost pained, swallowed immediately by your adoring and hungry kiss. He’s sweat straight through his t-shirt and his jeans are a fucking mess. Your dress is damp, stained, and wrinkled. You’re practically bonded to the leather seat, but he just absently runs the back of his fingers up and down your thighs while he comes down.

When you release his mouth, your arms settle across his shoulders, and he buries his face in your chest again, hiding, relishing, stalling.

Shit, he’s gonna miss this.

After a minute, you rest your forehead against his and lift your hips until his limp dick slides out of you. Through half-closed eyes Ran watches you bite your bottom lip, gnaw on it like he wants to, like he moves to—

“Is this about the will?”

Ran freezes.

“Did—Harlan told you, didn’t he?”

“WHAT THE SHIT.” Ran’s rage explodes, heaving you off of him and into the passenger’s seat. “YOU FUCKING KNEW?!”

He shoves himself back in his pants and scrambles for the damn zipper.

“Ransom, it’s fine. He just—“

“Why the fuck wouldn’t you warn me? Jesus FUCK.” He’s unlatched and kicked the door open before you even get a word out.

“Harlan is my friend and—“

But he slams it shut, leaving your words muffled while Ran fumes in damp fucking clothes in the frigid air.

His fists almost—almost—pound on the hood of his car as he bites out, “I could have killed him.” 

Ran’s pacing toward the tree line when you finally shuffle from the beamer, pulling your dress back into place.

“Harlan’s my friend and he asked me in confidence if it made sense.”

“I’m sorry, he asked you? As in, my grandfather might not have done this if you hadn’t thrown me under the bus.”

“It wasn’t just about you.”

“It makes sense to leave me destitute? And you knew! You lying bitch,” he growls, immediately wishing the word hadn’t popped out, clawing at his scalp in a punishing attempt to think. “You watched me throw all that fucking money away and didn’t think I deserved to know?!“

“I’ve met you. Why would you listen to me about how to spend your money? That isn’t something you do, Ransom.”

“That’s not the point!” And stop calling me fucking ‘Ransom.’ “I can handle myself.”

“Then I guess your answer is ‘that’s how you spent the money,’ by choice.”

“I wasn’t given a choice. You lied to me. You’re the one who didn’t trust me.”

Your stalk forward in the dry leaves, stopping just outside of arm’s length away. “What the hell did I just say in there, huh? I love you. I said I love you, then you go and call me a bitch, so who’s the liar between us, huh? Who’s got trust issues?”

Ran’s face scrunches in distain. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

“Guess,” you spit back easily. 

Well, he isn’t fucking saying it now. Fuck you. Fuck this. This is the worst-case scenario: poor and alone because if you know, he can never get away with his plan.

“Why do you always do that?” he growls with a venom that poisons no one but himself. “Why the fuck are you here then?” Why are you with him?

“I’m here to support my piece of shit boyfriend at a piece of shit family event because Hugh asked me to.”

Nope. The right name is wrong. It sounds much worse than he expected.

Ran doesn’t know what to do with all this sick energy churning in his gut except burn through it. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He doesn’t know what to do with his life.

“There it is. There’s the truth,” he yells, leaning into your face. “I know it. You know it. This isn’t going to work. We’re not the fucking same. We’re not even close—“

“I don’t want someone the same as me.”

“I’m a useless—”

“Ran.” Your hands fly to gently land on his face.

“—talentless—“

“Seriously, please.”

“—sack of shit and you—“

“HUGH!” The grip at his jaw slips as he jerks back.

Ran tenses, shoving his chilled fingers into his jean pockets, pushing the wet material in front away from his crotch. He goes awkwardly quiet.

Yelling. He remembers the yelling. He’s been comfortable with yelling for longer than he’s been comfortable with affection.

“For fuck’s sake, just shut up.” You cross your arms over you chest and shiver. “This. This bullshit is why I didn’t tell you, but so what? You don’t have your own money. How do you think Harlan and I started out?”

He gives a look that shouts back everything he can’t put into words.

“You’re not useless or talentless. You’re entitled. That’s all, and you can change that state of being pretty fucking easily.”

“How? What am I supposed to do? Be a houseboy who eats you out once a week?”

“A week? Well, I hope I pay better than that.”

“Oh, what the fuck,” he grouches.

You giggle. You fucking giggle at that. “You started these jokes!”

“You don’t have to rub it in—”

“—just rub it out, huh?”

He doesn’t want to laugh. It’s not funny. His fate isn’t a laughing matter, but like everything else tonight, he fucking fails. A smile twitches at his lips.

“Ok, asshole, you want to be useful? How ‘bout driving us home? I’m freezing.”

He starts to protest but is cut off by a flinging arm.

“If you don’t get in this damn car, you will be helping me balance to pee in those woods.”

“Fucking gross,” Ran whines.

“Yeah, well, your ability to self-access is appalling too,” you jovially clap back, “but we’re working with what we’ve got.”

Fair.

Savage but fair.

He frowns and follows you into the car.

You talk his ear off on the way to his house, but he isn’t in the least bit annoyed. He’s engrossed. It’s all a type of flattery Ransom can hardly fathom: honest praise.

“I was miserably alone before you.”

He wouldn’t have pegged that based on how he saw you at all those events, but now that he considers how you’ve opened up about your frustrations and the exhaustion of being the center of attention, it makes sense. Ransom takes attention away from you. He loves that shit. He doesn’t even care if it’s negative attention. Hide behind his broad back and shine that spotlight on him; he’s game.

“You know what people you pay to be around you—people who want something from you don’t do? Argue. No one has a real conversation. No one has an opinion contradictory to yours. No one calls you out on your shit. It’s so…”

“Boring,” he whispers without thinking.

There’s a long pause until you continue softly.

“No one calls me out on my shit except you, only you.“ 

Your hand finds his. Though your skin is cold, he’s warmed by the touch. 

“So no, I don’t think my money will change anything. If money—mine or yours—were going to change you, it would have done it by now. I mean, sure, you could stand to be less of a dick sometimes, but you don’t have to. I already…”

Your voice trails off, and Ran knows. That’s just it. You love him and he’s a dick, the poor asshole who understands what the feeling is, the one who can’t say it, not on purpose, not yet. The tectonic shift in his life’s framework leaves him uneasy. As wonderful as you are, as perfect as this has been, he has to start over.

He has to build himself up from scratch. He’s been transplanted to an alien planet that he doesn’t have the means to make hospitable. Money was his means to everything. Money provided for him. Money protected him. Money separated him from others.

He never had space for two in his now-demolished castle of selfishness.

“I thought I’d be with someone so different from you,” you laugh without heart. “I’m…glad I was wrong.”

All he can manage is a squeeze of your hand.

“But Hugh, you’re proud of my success, not fucking threatened by it. You let me work, but you also know when I need a break and won’t take one. You’re devoted without being smothering because you have your own damn life, things you want to do. You aren’t intimidated by all this shit in my stupid world or the money. You don’t give a fuck what other people say.”

That’s true.

“You make me laugh,” you say quietly, and though he can’t see your face in the dark of the road leading to his neighborhood, he hears your smile. “You asshole.”

As he turns into the driveway, he glances over and winks. “I try my best, sweetheart.”

He watches that throwaway statement melt you, and then he realizes why.

Ransom trying to do absolutely fucking anything is a big fucking deal, and he has tried. He simply has no idea where to go from here.

He turns off the beamer and makes no move to get out.

“What am I supposed to do?”

Your hand releases his to glide up his arm and lace through his hair, lightly rubbing the base of his neck. “Help me,” you breathe.

“How the fuck would I help you?”

“Hugh,” you cock your head to the side, retracting both arms to brush your palms down the fabric of your (ruined) skirt, “you know damn well you’d like to control my whole wardrobe. You would do far better dressing me for all those functions than I do…and undressing me.”

He knows what you’re doing, but instead of smiling or laughing, he tightens his jaw and huffs. “Can I burn some of your—“ he does half air-quotes “—'wardrobe?'”

It’s so hideous. That one black dress you keep fucking wearing? No amount of dry cleaning will make that look new again. That’s getting flambéed.

You purse your lips. “Donate, but yes. I would consider that a huge help.”

“You’re serious.” Ran’s not sure whether he means it as a question or a statement.

“Yes. I am. Thank you for noticing.” You swivel to open the door. “Now, you can also help get my bag in while I use the restroom.”

The dance of readying for bed becomes you pointing out things you have now that you did not have before him. Taste being one of them, Ran thinks to himself. The important thing is he could say that to your face, but he’s strategically not pushing his luck tonight.

It’s true. Nearly every article of clothing and every toiletry now links back to his insistence that you have nice things that are for you, not just for life in general. You come before the rest of the world; you come before your work. That’s his gift. That’s what he’s good at, and you make it clear: you need him for that talent.

All of these nice things, all these reasons he seems good to you, and all this need for him have Ran feeling some sorta way when you crawl into his bed naked and reach to turn off the light.

He grabs your hand before you make it to the switch, forcing it back to the mattress, keeping you facedown. His heated breath and heavy body roll over you, teeth grazing your shoulder and moving slowly to your earlobe.

“You know what else I’m good for?”

His free hand slips between your thighs and finds what slick you couldn’t clean up. The knowledge that some of it is his cum still inside you makes Ran shudder. How would he ever have lived without this?

You sigh, your mouth falling open at the intrusion, and your eyelids flutter closed.

“Fuck,” you moan, high and quiet.

“That’s right, baby,” he hisses, mimicking your condescension from the car. Oh yeah, he’s gonna ruin more than that goddamn dress tonight.

He takes time to torture you with his fingers, his weight rendering you immobile. Ran sweeps falling hair out of your face with free reign to pepper open-mouthed kisses across the stretch of skin he’s claimed since that very first fuck.

You always knew what you wanted. He never thought you’d truly want him, certainly not for more than a day. After tonight, it’s inconceivable you want him still, yet here you are, burying your face in the sheets to muffle little cries as he humps your ass cheek to get harder and harder.

Good god, why do you want him? He fucked around, he yelled at you, he called you horrible names, he left you for weeks at a time in a foreign country alone, and yet you are here.

Then your words spring to mind. He argues with you. He has opinions. He makes you laugh. He treats you like the independent person you are. He treats you like your money doesn’t matter.

Because it didn’t to him.

Ransom realizes now that you treat him as if his money didn’t matter because it doesn’t to you. Nothing changed when you knew he wouldn’t have it anymore. Not a single thing. Somewhere over the last months, Harlan told you his plan, and the only perceptible difference to Ran was you falling in love with him.

Because you love him. He is so grateful he’s almost angry. You could do better. He can give you better.

By the time you come on Ran’s fingers, he’s completely feral thinking about all those little ways you showed your feelings, all the ways you showed him kind touch is not weakness. You also showed him that touch doesn’t have to be weak to be kind. He can be rough with his feelings for you, intense as they are. He can sink his cock into you, practically screaming that he loves you, too, but the words aren’t spoken.

He presses a thick forearm across your back to keep you pinned. He spreads his legs to widen yours. He thrusts in possessive and messy movements. No words escape. His range of motion is limited this way, but he gets all of your glorious noises. They’ve become his favorite sleep track. It’s hard for him to rest without hearing your happy, panicked pleasure beforehand.

You make desperate fists in the sheets and arch your ass up higher. He sees the unnatural strain in your body, all for him, all so he can have just that fucking tiny bit more of you.

He can’t stay in this position forever though. You’ll never come again like this, and he wants to see your face. The car was dark, but the lamp is still on. He can watch you fall apart with him deep inside.

“Turn,” he orders, enjoying how dazed and shaky you are as you struggle to control your muscles.

You’re a sight. Erratic breaths hardly settle your gasps. Pliable and ruined. Torn to whimpering pieces and stitched back together only to be split apart again.

He drinks in his handiwork, climbing slowly between your legs, delicately helping to cross your heels at his ass, and sinking back into your heat slowly, so slowly, like your teasing in the car.

“Hugh,” you mutter, and fuck, he has never heard you beg.

Ransom has always loved sex, but this is different. He meets your glazed eyes with floundering blue depths and wonders why he can’t just enjoy it as basic sex anymore.

He’s always loved money, too, and although he doesn’t want to take it from you, Ran feels the weight of your charity. Money was his sun, his whole world, but it was not enough. You provide more, warmth that lets him spread out in contentment, light that keeps him from withering.

Money doesn’t need his love; it’s indifferent.

You, on the other hand, you are fucking radiant, glowing and hot with his arm tucked beneath your shoulders to grab at your hairline. He makes you look at him. Your fingernails scratch at his back while your hips grind together.

“So beautiful,” he rumbles, nose almost touching yours. “Come on, sweetheart—“ Ran drops to lave kisses down your bared throat “—one more for me.”

This time, you have no words, only grunting uh and hng as he speeds up. Your noises get higher. Ran gets rougher, a brutal rhythm for a brutal realization.

He can’t hold back when he sees you like this; he’s gonna say it.

He gets close, so very close to breaking, but you fall first.

“Please—ah.”

You fucking writhe beneath him, your whole body spasming like your silky pussy ripples over the sensitive skin of his cock.

“That’s it,” he coos in your ear. “That’s right. Good girl.”

He has to chance meeting your eyes because he wants to see you unravel again. Ran always does whatever he wants.

He slows his hips to intermittent thrusts that sizzle your nerves over and over, pulling his arm out from under you to lift your chin. You’re open for him in every sense of the word, and he is fucked in every possible way.

He’s an amoeba of a man staring evolution in the face.

You’re his. It’s clear in the light that he owns you. He’s earned you, or at least, he’s trying to. That’s a big deal for Ransom Drysdale.

Quivering, your mouth hanging open, his thumb rolling over your swollen bottom lip, he gets one word.

“Daddy.”

Barely a whisper, partly a question, but mostly an invitation. He slides his thumb up into your mouth, only letting you suck on it for a moment before it drags out.

Ran never thought you’d ever say that. He never imagined you’d beg either. You’ve always known what you want and taken it. You have never needed anything from him.

“Please,” you say again, holding your mouth wider still.

Shit. He throbs at the prospect, and he’s too far gone to deny you this. He plants one small peck on your jaw before pulling out and clambering over your hips and chest.

“Ah fuck,” he moans when you suck on one of his balls, stroking him with a smooth and firm grip. “Love y—love your mouth…so much.”

Ran leans against his headboard, hand clamped over his trap in a desperate attempt not to blabber, but you continue. You’re in tune with when he’s ready, when you’ve taken the teasing far enough and he needs to come. His hips stutter to shove himself just a little farther down your throat. He collects his wits only enough not to choke you, muffling a cry.

You’re gentle with him as he loses his absolute shit trying to keep it together, thighs shaking, breath hindered, biting the fuck out of his hand.

“Sorry, I…” he tries.

“I…I—“ he tries again.

He just can’t fucking do it.

Ran digs his palms so hard into his eyes he sees stars. His chest is tight like it’ll explode any second. The relief of orgasm has evaporated instantly, and he just really fucking can’t.

“Hey, hey,” you soothe, shifting up onto your kneels behind him, “it’s okay.” Your warm arms encircle his chest, over one shoulder and under the other, and you pull his own pliable and ruined body toward you.

He collapses back on his heels, leaning against you.

“Hugh, it’s alright.” Your whisper makes his eyes sting. “I know.”

Ran raises his arms to hold your wrists. His head drops to kiss the back of your hand. He still stays silent.

“I know…”

Your bare legs stretch across his lap, and Ransom lets the hand warmed by his mug grasp your ankle gently. You’re off in your own mind, staring out the window of his living room, worrying your bottom lip. He watches while you don’t notice.

Ran never particularly liked the unknown, and after Harlan’s shit last night, he’s off surprises for a fucking lifetime. This, however, this with you, sitting in comfortable quiet, makes him feel perfectly at ease with an unsure future.

For someone so fascinating to him, you’re so normal.

Sure, you’re beauty trumps the view outside, you’re dedicated to your work, and you’re smart enough to run circles around anyone, but…

You’re just you, sitting with a hot drink on his couch in the morning, wearing one of his sweaters again. Could be a sixty-dollar sweater from a thrift shop—or six cents for all Ran knows about secondhand sales—or the six-hundred-dollar one that he stoopidly bought three weeks ago; it doesn’t matter to you. The only thing that matters to him now is who wears it. That garment means nothing without you in it.

You sip at your tea, and he follows, staring at you staring at the world.

You two spoke more about it last night in the dark about everything but that one little phrase that’s eating him alive, a tangled mess of yourselves and the sheets. Nothing has to change except where the money comes from. Ran gets what he’s wanted all along: control over your wardrobe and, essentially, your entire presentation to that world you’re staring out into. He is not, however, permitted to burn your favorite Little Black Dress, but for fuck’s sake he’ll get all of its seams checked and the damn thing refitted. He’s hoping if he makes enough fuss, you’ll choose to toss it just to shut him up.

Fucking rules. Ran hates rules. If you kept standards on par with your New Money maybe he’d follow your rules. He’ll get you in the good stuff: the good house with good furniture, the good clothing with good lingerie beneath, right down to the good wash and lotion.

You can keep your perfume. He likes your perfume.

Yes, he’ll get you into what he wants, when he wants, where he wants, and all that implies. Ransom always gets what he wants…because you let him.

It’s remarkable what you let him fucking do, too.

He slides his hand from your ankle to your knee, knocking you out of your reverie just in time for his phone to buzz.

He holds your legs to him while sneaking a glance at the screen. Linda. Fuck no, he’s not answering that. It’s not Sunday and he’s not ditching anything. Fucking wait. Fucking choke for all he cares.

Ran instead sets his nearly empty mug down beside your two phones on the coffee table and curls up in your corner of couch. You open your arms to tuck him into your chest, and sure, it’s cutesy and gross in a way that should make Ran want to gag, but who fucking cares when he’s this comfortable. He plants a kiss right on your nipple through the knit for fun, feeling you shiver, then listens to your heart.

His phone vibrates again, dancing closer to the stoneware he just put down.

His mother’s persistence is as admirable as it is annoying. Predictably, Ran’s bored by her usual shit and ignores it again.

Instead of pushing up his sweater to wrap an arm around your waist though, he shoves his now chilly fingers between your hot thighs and sighs. His ear rings with the airy sound of your laugh through flesh.

Then your phone dings, and he just fucking knows it’s her. His groaned protest goes unheeded as you swap your mug for the device and bring it to you.

Ran snorts, and you smooth your free hand over his hair.

“Hello—“ there are harsh but restrained mumbles but he can’t make out the words “—Linda, why on Earth would I be with a man the night he yelled at me like that?”

Because you love him, Ran thinks, but he hears garbled disappointment from the other end.

“And after how your brother and his wife acted—” more rushed excuses “—I don’t have time to go around looking for your adult baby. I have work to do and a plane to catch.” There’s obvious desperation in Linda’s tone, but you don’t care. “Goodbye.”

You let your phone drop to the rug, carding fingers through his hair before finishing with little scratches. Your nonchalance is still pure honesty. You wouldn’t waste time on him, not if you didn’t want him, and you did not let him speak to you that way for more than three sentences because you knew exactly how to shut him up.

“Vicious little bitch,” you mutter.

And…in all your perfect, honest, niceness, you called his mother a bitch—not to her face but you’ll get there, Ran’s sure.

He fucking loves you. He is really so fucking in love with you that it’s fucking gross. He’s disgusted and doesn’t fucking care.

After a big sigh, your hand finds his between your legs and moves it to cup your sex. “Where were we?”

Ransom shifts up over you at the same time as you slide beneath him on the buttery leather cushions. His wildly true and blue eyes meet yours with stern sincerity.

He’s looking at everything he ever wanted, and it’s not money. There are all sorts of things he can use to survive, loads of things he can replace, an infinite amount to take, but only one you, only one complete package. Not a thing. Not replaceable. Finite. Earned. New. Fascinating. Teasing. Messy. Sexy. A total hardass badass with a great ass.

Ran lays his hand heavier on that thin layer of silk, possession laced in the caress, and the words just flow right out.

“Marry me.”

@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

Oh my god, gang, I can't believe I fucking did it. Truly, this fic has been one of the craziest things I've ever attempted, and honestly, I'm so damn proud. I'm proud that I wrote it, I'm proud that it's over, and I'm proud of whatever reception it gets. I murdered my soul for this and am delighted. Thank you all so much for reading!

[Main Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[electronickingdomfox]

"Dreams of the Raven" review

Novel from 1987, by Carmen Carter. I'm afraid I don't have much good to say about this one. It failed to catch my attention, and even though the premise had potential, it was ultimately a wasted opportunity.

The titular "Ravens" are an interesting, terrifying new alien species, but they appear very briefly, and almost everything concerning them is resolved hastily in the last chapters (and largely off-screen). Also, some things are simply left hanging, like the fate of those assimilated by the Ravens. Thus, most of the novel deals with a crippled Enterprise trudging at impulse power to the nearest starbase, with barely any developments in-between.

The other major plot thread, that of McCoy losing all his memories from the last twenty-something years, could have been so much better too. He reverts to his personality as a young man, in his first year of medicine, and doesn't remember anything about his years in Starfleet. This would have been a perfect opportunity to re-examine his relationship with his career and close friends, but sadly there's zero development in that area. He's a stranger to them at the beginning, and still a stranger by the end, until he recovers all his memories suddenly in a pretty anticlimactic way, and again, off-screen. Instead of that, we're subjected to yet another insipid, useless romance with guest Dr. Dyson, who's treating his amnesia. The romance was predictable not because it makes much sense (shoehorned in the middle; in one scene they have a strictly doctor-patient relationship, and in the next they're dating or something). It's predictable because Dyson happens to be a woman, she's given a name, she's much younger than McCoy, and has more than five lines of dialogue. Extra cringe points, because Dyson knows perfectly well that, if McCoy were in his right mind, he'd never consent to such a relationship. Apart from this, the actual reason for McCoy's amnesia presents a petty, depressing portrayal of the character, with the implications that, deep down, he resents his whole life and his career in Starfleet. And I don't feel this was resolved very well at the end.

Spoilers under the cut:

The Enterprise is stationed at Wagner Trading Post, when they receive a distress call from a Frenii merchant ship, supposedly attacked by Klingons. Upon reaching the area, Kirk speaks with the captain of the disabled vessel, recognizing his voice. But just when he was sending several shuttles to aid them, the sensors register unusual life forms aboard the merchant ship. Sensing a trap, Kirk recalls the shuttles, but not quickly enough. The hijacked vessel crashes against the Enterprise before it can raise the shields, and the damage is catastrophic. As result, the ship is left without warp drive, and very limited power for shields and weapons. However, they manage to recover some fragments of corpses. The hostile aliens are of an unknown species: blue-skinned, with a beak, and a very unusual brain, completely divided in two lobes as if they could function independently. They name the creatures "Ravens", but can't learn much more from the few body pieces.

Meanwhile, McCoy receives some very distressing personal message, that he quickly burns (because he's still printing everything in paper in the 23rd century). He feels so agitated that he gets drunk. And during a routine gravity adjustment in the ship, he loses his balance and gets bonked in the head. Upon waking up, McCoy has lost his memories of the last twenty-five years, and absolutely hates the ship and the life choices of "old McCoy". He doesn't understand how he could ever join Starfleet, and just wants to go back to Earth, be a country doctor, and set his life right again. Neurologist Dr. Dyson examines his case, and determines that the amnesia isn't caused by any physical injury. McCoy has just repressed his memories to escape from something that he doesn't dare to face.

Later on, Spock, who was present during the accident, tries to reconstruct the chain of events to find the trigger for the amnesia. He finds the burnt pieces of paper, and checks all recent messages in the computer. It turns out that McCoy had received a letter from his ex-wife, telling him that she was about to re-marry, and this caused his psychological escape to the past. Now, let's examine for a moment all this info, and what it says about McCoy's personality in this book. Yes, there was always the implication in the series that he joined Starfleet after his divorce. But here, the story is that he also joined out of pure spite, and at some level, never really liked his career. There's also the fact that, after two decades of his divorce, he's still spiteful enough to resent his wife for (gasp!) marrying again!!... Ugh...

Meanwhile, the Enterprise limps back to Wagner Post at impulse power (an amazingly QUICK impulse power anyway, because it only takes them two weeks to reach it!). During the trip, they find a deserted Klingon vessel, which seems to have fallen prey to the Ravens as well. Kirk sends Sulu and a skeleton crew to man the Klingon ship, which comes along as an escort to protect the crippled Enterprise. Just in time, because they're attacked by more Ravens. Thanks to the cloaking device of the Klingon ship, Kirk manages to trick them this time, and the two ships destroy the attackers.

The recovered corpses look a bit different, but still seem to be Ravens; only these ones are green-skinned, and show a few physiological variations. Then, "young McCoy" decides to do something useful for a change, and remembers the crazy stories of one of the patients during his first hospital practice. The man raved about some aliens that had attacked his shuttle. They had beaks and a paralyzing poison, that they used to suck out the brains of their victims. After absorbing the brains, they gained the memories and personality of those assimilated, and could mimic their voices (well, too bad that, at this point, Kirk has already figured out most of this on his own, so it's not such useful info...). It's also suggested that McCoy's regression to the past wasn't just because he's an incel, but also because he was unconsciously trying to remember these stories about the Ravens (yeah, whatever...).

Now certain that Wagner Post has been overtaken by Ravens, Kirk organizes an assault. The Enterprise lures the stationed Raven ships away, while a landing party infiltrates the base. McCoy goes along the landing party, since his previous knowledge of the Ravens could resurface at a critical moment. The landing party discovers the queen of the Ravens, a giant blob of flesh that the aliens keep feeding with their victims. But soon they're captured by one of their leaders (the Raven who adopted the personality of the former Klingon commander). The aliens set apart the women (and McCoy), since they consider them too weak. Instead, one of the green Ravens eats the brain of a redshirt (as it's due), and experiments a metamorphosis: it becomes blue, and gains the knowledge of the crewman. After this, the leader turns his attention towards Spock... Just then, McCoy recovers another bit of knowledge, and attacks the Raven leader with an hypo, severing the link between its two brains. This causes the Klingon's personality to become dominant and free of the Raven's influence. And he decides to help the landing party by setting a bomb in the queen's chamber, sacrificing himself in the process.

The detonation kills the queen and severs her links with all the Raven victims, so they stop attacking the Enterprise. The problem is, the victims are still inside Raven bodies, so now what!? There's little said about them, other than in the aftermath, they've been sedated to prevent them from commiting suicide (...Hurray???). Spock, however, was partly caught in the explosion, and the current chief medical officer lacks the knowledge about Vulcan biology to perform a successful surgery. Kirk prompts McCoy to perform the surgery, in the hopes that his medical knowledge will come back when most needed. Sure enough, the Deus Ex Machina arrives (off-stage), and McCoy emerges from surgery with good news about Spock. He's his old self again, and all his memories as "young McCoy" from the last two weeks have been completely wiped. In a sense, he sacrificed the other McCoy to save Spock, and doesn't even remember his affair with Dyson. The latter, however, doesn't care too much, since she just wanted to bang McCoy while he was amnesiac, so her duty as neurologist is accomplished here. The End.

McSpirk Meter: 5/10*. Though it's mostly on Kirk's part, and seems rather unreciprocated. Kirk is going through an angsty trip ever since McCoy lost his memories of their friendship, and is kind of painful to watch. When McCoy complains about having turned into an old man all of a sudden (from his point of view, he was twenty years old a moment ago), Kirk compliments him saying it's "a good face". Later, he's jealous of Dr. Dyson, since she's receiving most of McCoy's attention. And at one point, he desperately begs McCoy to recover his memories, asking him to not leave him. Kirk is also the one to urge Spock to help McCoy, in the name of "friendship". Yet for all his efforts, Kirk receives little in return. Just a present from McCoy: an ornamental knife that Kirk was trying to buy at the starbase in the beginning. (You deserved better, Jim!) The Kirk/Spock angle is present in Kirk's frantic attempts to make McCoy save Spock's life, and his general hysteria upon seeing Spock in such a condition. As for Spock/McCoy, there's also a bit about the secret fondness that Spock feels for the doctor, which he won't dare to admit. As well as the implication that McCoy only recovered his old self when Spock's life was in danger.

This may seem quite a lot, but actually, this novel gave me a bit of "anti-slash" vibes. All the scenes between Kirk, Spock and McCoy, that could have had a great emotional impact, are cut short or diminished, in favor of scenes with Dr. Dyson. It almost seems like the author is using the amnesia trick to separate McCoy from the other two, so she can have her straight romance.

[clearlightwired]

spoilers for The Substance under the cut

i went into this movie entirely blind. it definitely disappointed, though not in an entirely unfun manner.

the eponymous substance is an injectable drug that allows a younger and prettier version of yourself to crawl out of your body. the catch is that you have to switch between the two every 7 days, and the younger version of yourself has to draw spinal fluid (?) from your body and inject it every day (lest they... become unstable and bleed everywhere. or something.)

the main character (elisabeth) is a washed up exercise video star who desperately wants to be young again. this turns out to be basically all that is revealed about her for the entirety of the movie. she has a singular motivation and is not further personified in any way

given this, when the substance is advertised to her, she takes it (beginning a pretty great gore scene).

the younger version of herself (sue) is similarly uncharacterized. all she cares about is partying, being on TV, and staying young. a shockingly huge portion of the movie is devoted to sequences that don't even pretend they aren't just there to titillate (multiple-minute-long montages of this girl in spandex/naked in the shower/etc) (as one reviewer put it: these two make up ozempic jekyll and thinspo hyde) sue inevitably starts to stay out longer and longer, and this causes elisabeth to get more and more grotesque, and most of the movie is alternating scenes of the two getting really pissed at each other for the limitations placed on both of them. the movie ends with what is in my opinion its high point -- a shambling, tumor-ridden creature (the FX in this movie are incredibly masterful) that does a shining-style shower of blood over an audience that expected to see sue perform. this, at least, was 5 solid minutes of laughing. it does very little for the "message" of the movie at large, though that doesn't come through particularly well anyway, given that: coralie fargeat seems to have real contempt for both of these characters/archetypes. elisabeth is shown as a cruel, self-obsessed, ugly old woman whose shame is basically deserved, given that she sits around and watches tv and eats all day. sue is a stupid, selfish, sex object. this is only sort of a movie about how "the desire to be young corrupts" (a message with which so many more interesting things could be done). it is primarily a movie about how everything sucks. the self-loathing of every character is completely reinforced and every bad thing they're afraid of happens to them.

the world around the two leads appears to also be basically 2d, with zero interactions in the entire movie that do not revolve around the sex appeal or lack thereof of one or both of them. this does not make for a very deep viewing experience, which would be fine if the movie had more redeeming features, but

the high points of this movie were:

the score, for one. every single thing in this movie is bass boosted, including the gurgling, cracking, squelching, and chewing noises that make up a significant percentage of the movie's "discomfort". for a noise enjoyer like me, this is beautiful, and all the actual musical stuff is pretty great too

the aforementioned fx. as uninspired as i found a lot of the gore, i can appreciate that they made a bunch of things that are truly gross and hard to look at. it definitely surpasses alien:romulus, my only gore point of comparison in terms of movies i've seen this year.

the laugh factor. i mean. this movie is just pretty fucking funny at points. the staging of the scenes is very often comedic and the ending scene is completely ridiculous. i would not recommend seeing this movie alone, because you will have nobody to make fun of it with

the low points were almost everything else.

overall, i would maybe recommend seeing it, and if you do, then a theater is probably the best venue for it, but this wasn't the horror movie i wanted it to be at all. very sad given how good the substance is as a title.

[softhanni]

2024 Media: 71. Fourth Wing - Rebecca Yarros - 3.75 / 5★ (rating out of 5 stars for books just feels right) TLDR: I enjoyed reading it am looking forward to the next book but I don't think it was ground-breaking. Sometimes that's okay though! Massive yap of a review including spoilers under the cut if anyone cares TwT

I feel like for the most part there's always something happening and rarely is there a stagnant part of the book but I feel like the the first 12 chapters are a little bit less entertaining than the rest of the book. I wasn't bored during these 12 chapters for reference, but it definitely picked up after that point.  The plot in general was very much what I expected. I guessed essentially the main plot points of the entire story successfully or with minor differences after reading the first 5 chapters. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, I still enjoyed it but if you're looking for something a little more ground-breaking I wouldn't say this is it.  The characters I feel ultimately filled their roles. The main character definitely had moments in which she very much had "main character energy" Her bonding TWO dragons and them both being super unique / her having a power that hadn't manifested in years etc. and sometimes gave the energy of self insert fanfiction (the constant reminder of how tiny she is reminds me of the "my mum sold me to x boyband and they're all in love with me despite me being weak and soooo small and weak fics iykyk) that being said I feel like there was a good balance to every unrealistic event that happened to her for the story to not feel comical and I did enjoy her way of speaking personally even if there were moments that felt a little cringeworthy. I wouldn't consider it a spoiler that our main character has health issues causing her body to break easily and honestly though I don't think it's overly mind-blowing of a main character trait, as someone with chronic pain I appreciated how it was handled and also that her growth throughout the book never feels like it dilutes that part of her. I think she's, for the most part, exactly the type of protag I would expect from this type of book - she definitely grew on me more over time but also I'm not head over heels either. I loved the dragons' personalities a lot. As for the the side characters, I feel there were many minor characters that served little to no purpose outside of their one respective appearance but the other side characters I DID care about I found myself to like a decent amount though they definitely didn't get enough spotlight. The love interests(?) are what you'd expect: Rule-following, overprotective childhood best friend and certified bad boy that also happens to be main characters' enemy. Once again nothing ground-breaking but I still ate it up. Dain was genuinely so unlikeable to me from the very first time he appeared and every time he spoke I wished he hadn't. I did the parallels between him and Xaden and that he wasn't as much of a stereotype as I expected but his repetitive dialogue was very tiring to get through after the second time of his attempts at getting Violet to leave. On the other hand I ate everything about Xaden up. Was he perhaps cliché and tropey?? Maybe so but I am who I am LOVED the last chapter not being in Violet's POV and the two bonus chapters. I get why there wasn't more of that because it would have given the plot away but I hope to see more of that in the next book

[abyssalspamton]

I GOT TO SEE THE FNAF MOVIE ON THE DAY IT RELEASED IN AUS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH im so happy i did. I kinda need to talk about. EVERYTHING that happened. As this is what i just do now when i get all hyperfixated on stuff. but maybe a lil review for people that don't want spoilers (if anyone actually sees this), any spoilers will be under the cut. you have been warned. (i also go off about thinking about theories i apologise)

NO SPOILERS So I liked it. I think it was a good, FUN movie. i say fun because. IT WAS VERY MUCH FUN. It didn't take itself deadly seriously, and while part o f me was interested how it would go if it did, i'm also EXTREMELY happy it didn't as i feel that would've made it's. bad moments bad in a less. than funny way. I wish Matthew Lillard was in it a lil more and I don't think it's like. perfect. i had a few gripes with some of the scenes (which i'll get into under the cut) BUT.

overall? loved it. 10/10 100% recommend you watch it. Also people y'all should never trust the critic reviews for movies like these because they don't CARE about the plot. they don't KNOW fnaf, nor are in t he fanbase. ofc a fucking 40 year old that knows nothing about fnaf isn't gonna like it. I SURE HOPE NOT!! CAUSE THEY ARE BORING OLD MEN!!

ONTO THE SPOILERS.

firstly, getting this out the way because i had a fucking STROKE when i saw matpat. WHAT A FUCKING LIAR. WHAT A LITTLE SHIT(lovingly)!!! HE GOT ME WITH HIS CROC TEARS! i thought he was so deadass when he was all teary eyed saying he wished he was in the movie. i was so upset! i was gonna have a fucking go at scott! I'm so happy he's in the movie it was. such a cute little scene. though how dare he were a nametag that says ness.

secondly vanessa being afton's daughter wasn't that surprising. When i realised that michael wasn't willy's son (like bio or anything) my first thought was "oh well he has to have some type of child" because. scott does that, like in his books. things get changed up sometimes but most things stay the same. aka him having at least one child, just means he didn't get two deadones as well. So when vanessa showed up (i forgot she was in it lmao) i was like. OH YEAH THAT'D. WORK I GUESS. and just assumed immediately thats what they were doing.

ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE WAS GETTING ALL PISSY AT MIKE? like that was a lil obvious she was trying to hide that her father committed the murders cause she didn't want any backlash.

I cannot judge children for their acting because they are children. But i will say one of the children (cough eric) was looking at the camera before. you can see his eyes focusing on the guy behind it. NOT A BIG DEAL I WAS JUST OBSERVING AND FOUND THAT DISTRACTING. also abby's actor was cute i just think a few scenes are a lil iffy with her (she is a child im not blaming her).

vanessa's and mike's romance. what a. thing huh. kinda crazy considering in an alternate reality (the canon universe) mike is william's son and Vanessa isn't. feels kinda weird. but laso like if me MYSELF was vanessa and saw mike? that pathetic man? that absolute sopping WET cat of a man? yeah. fair. i'd be down bad.

listen. i stand by that the whole. abby befriending the fazgang was. 'bad' in the sense of. bro that's so cringe but i am LAUGHING keep on GOING. but also because. hey. consider this. those anamatronics are children. and stuck like that. THEY ARE STUCK AT THAT MENTAL AGE. I THINK IT'D BE SO FAIR THEY'D BE EXCITED TO BEFRIEND A NORMAL FUCKING KID THAT'S NOT DEAD!! this is why im happy the movie didn't go super serious because.

while YEAH it would've been emotional to see this played more seriously, them upset they're dead and still befriending abby, it's just the fact that it probably would've. not landed well, or at least completely, so it would've still had a 'bad' vibe to it. just THIS way we can all laugh at it. I had my head in my hands a few times because i was just "oh gOD" looking @ you. pillow fort. bonnie fucking laying his ass down.

i also understand why scott didn't do the fnaf games lore, or book lore, because he can have more fun with it this way, and also work with blumhouse to make original ideas instead of just. copy pasting from the games/books and hoping they do it well enough it lands.

Lore wise im interested if william has more bio children and how many other children he's killed. what animatronic eric is, if they're going by the logic that everyone bro kills turns into one (imagine he's bb). my friend charlotte said he might be the puppet but. that role i would expect from Henry's daughter. if henry still exists? please tell me henry still exists-

I'm also interested how they're gonna make mike keep on coming back/being involved? we can't go back to fnaf 2 since that was a prequel, i mean i quess you could but also that just doesn't feel correct to do in a movie. so im expecting scott is going to have to (SURPRISE SURPRISE) completely clear up what games go where. so rn it's fnaf 1, we know fnaf 2 was before since bb is there so we're not gonna get a fast one pulled on us on that end. fnaf 3 might be next? but i could also like. see scott skipping that one. BUT i could also see him not skipping it because he wants to 'redeem' it and show that. yeah he fucked up the game but he can make up with it via movie.

oh something obvious to say. vanessa is more than likely a robot. im not gonna get into a fight with the whole robot people are stupid when it's fucking in the books JFHEDSKNJA SO. IM JUST NOT. but like. considering she's afton's daughter i would not be surprised if she actually died when she was younger and got turned into a robot. it's just how it is.

can't wait for fnaf 2 probably coming out in fucking 2031 and fnaf 3 the final coming out in 2045 <3 i might not make it to those movies HFNKEJSD jokes aside im. happy with the movie, excited to see more, especially the lore for it, and though i think fnaf's lore is a garbage fire it's also fun to look at when you take a step back and just. decide to enjoy it with 0 thinking skills for a second.

also thanks to anyone who read this <3

[tekutiger]

I'm back to leveling another class to 90, and this time it's Reaper ❤️‍🔥. I'm sitting at level 80 right now.

The last time I did the class quests for this storyline was right after Endwalker launch, on Tobi. I honestly couldn't remember much of it, if anything! I just kept thinking... "I don't remember this...." "Is this really what happened?" "Was it really this traumatic the first time around?". Like, how could I forget all of that? I guess it was around a year and a half ago, but good gods. Mostly what I remember is the Arena area (in the screenie above).

Class Quest at Level 75 has something of a jump scare, imo, and I just... really wish that I did NOT forget about that. I was taken aback trying to cover my monitor screen going "Ew! Ew!". Thanks SE for that one 🫣🫠

I know when I first played through it, Reaper and Sage had a LOT of popularity due to being the new classes with the new expansion. It's possible I semi-rushed through the questline and didn't give it the attention it deserved.

BUT what I guess I'm actually trying to say in a very long ramble-y process; the story for the reaper class quests is really good. I feel like it's something that resonates with me, much in the way that the DRK story quest line does.

There are a lot of classes I feel like I mesh well with, and some I 'click best' with too (which is saying something for an alt-o-holic), but we're talking class quests here, not the classes themselves. Even for my main class, I don't feel like they did the class quests proper justice. Like... Red Mage and Vampires? (They're not actual vampires to any non-FFXIV players reading this, but pretty darn close, lol)

And no offense to my fellow RDM mains who actually like that story line, but, it's sinking near the bottom for me in terms of 'connecting with me' 🤷🏻‍♀️ (this has turned rantyyyy oops lol 🙃). I think some other's feel that way about their fave classes though. Like, I've heard split reviews with PLD and WAR... I personally love SCH's storyline, but I've heard people say they dislike it. So on and so forth... 🤷🏻‍♀️. To each their own, at the end of the day.

I'm gonna put spoiler-y things under the cut now 😊

If you've even reached Stormblood, you might notice something about this guy here ☝🏻. Even more so if you've progressed through Shadowbringers, and MORE so through Endwalker. Most definitely through Endwalker. 100% sure I didn't notice it my first playthrough cause I hadn't finished Endwalker yet...

In so many ways he reminds me of Zenos, and yet he also doesn't. There's even a small portion of this 70-80 questline that dips into Solus zos Galvus. It shares some backstory that includes him but the information is significant to Drusilla's story only, and for the sake of moving the Reaper class questline forward. If you're seeking knowledge about Emet, for the sake of learning more about Emet, it's not going to be much.

Speaking of Emet, I've also been eyeing those skills 'Shadow of Death', 'Whorl of Death' and 'Arcane Crest', they look awfully familiar 🤔. Kind of look like some of his Hades abilities, and his glamour weapons, no?

I could ramble on more about that but I'm sure that's been toppled, explained, confirmed, and I've missed it. Or there's better theories and HCs than what's brainrotting in my head 🫠

I know the first time I played through this class, I told myself NOT to like it, because of how popular it was. The same thing with SGE. I felt getting the opportunity to ever play it was either A) never going to happen, or B) going to take a very very long time to happen- as in, an entirely new expansion would have to drop with new classes.

It's over a year & a half later and I think things have finally simmered down with those two classes. Maybe. I can finally say "Yes! I like this class! \o/". I know that's silly, but so is loading into an alliance raid with like, ALL Reapers and ALL Sages. Does anyone else remember that?!

Okay, I guess it wasn't that bad. I'll be honest, I was the first to laugh very loud whenever I got those groups. Mainly cause I'd be the sole RDM and legit felt like a black sheep 😅

Now I get to level 80-90, and go bug Emet again in Ktisis Hyperboreia when I reach level 87, haha 😄. This poor man can't get rid of me 🥰

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

Allegiances Review, obviously spoilers under the cut.

Fucking RETIRE THOSE 2 ALREADY I ALREADY KILLED THEM BOTH OFF

Also WHY aren't they in Age Order anymore you are killing me Erin Hunter I am bleeding out

All that hype... For Wafflepelt? Really? You couldn't think of maybe any other suffix?

Stemtail is... Painfully meh. It's okay. I much prefer Stemsnap. ;)

Graywhisker is cute, actually. Though, I'm scrapping the Gray parts, and making him Spottedflame.

Surprised Hollytuft and Honeyfur managed to dodge the Babymaker Draft, and VERY happy that Twigbranch has also still managed to dodge it!

Though... I do actually wish with got Shellfur x Fernstripe babies, again all that hype for nothing.

Jesus Christ let Daisy retire already she's ANCIENT

Oh Sunbeam I'm so sorry they did this to you, you should be back home with your wife

My fear is they're gonna pass Moon off to Golden or Sun, especially Sun as they're blatant first cousins and it'd be another example of writers not caring. I had a feeling she'd be an only child.

... why Myrtlebloom??? She's even younger? Also what a BITCH with that name. Lol. Hi Sunbeam, here's my superior baby, Sunkit. He's Orange.

Glad to see a Hazel back in the game. I guess. 0 thoughts on Oakkit.

DIE ALREADY

... where's Lightleap. (Hi Redpaw)

Where. Is. Lightleap. Sprucepaw sounds adorable.

Birchfeather is a cute name! As is Bloompetal! Firbark sucks not gonna lie, and Whisperbreeze next to Whistlebreeze is soo not gonna cause a typo in the near future, no no we know these writers can keep track of who is talking from one end of the page to the next. Streamripple is nice.

No... no... NOOOOOOO

1. I did Poolkit first, she's with my Moonpaw as her twin. ;p

2. Ah yes. The cat that did not want an apprentice settled with the cat constantly trying to prove herself by doing dangerous, stupid (Affectionate) shit and had her pop out 3 babies.

3. I see someone was drunk when they signed the birth certificate, sorry Beehckit.

4. WHAT IS IT GONNA TAKE FOR OAK TO KEEL OVER

Beetleshine, BEESTING (fucking LOVE IT), Duskshine (also love it) and Ridgeglow. Genuinely, aside from Beetle's being meh, I love these names. Leafstar you suck but you're a great namer.

Wait... Wasn't Beepaw a boy? Too late, she's trans.

Needleclaw?! The fuck? I mean... Good for her, but with WHO? please tell me it's not Kite....

I love these names, and I'll be giving them to Turtlecrawl. God I hope we get another Robinwing

Damn... Cherry and Boris, I'm so not ready to say goodbye. All of New!Skyclan's founders are almost gone. I remember them as little brats, but yeah, Cherrytail and Sparrowpelt are great-great-grandparents. Mind you it's to the same cats but that's on the writers not caring

Living for the Curl suffix, though her name in WCR is Saplingbrook. Shame on Harestar though, making a "she-kit" a warrior.

Grassfur, pretty colour, what a wasted name. I made her Crownlight, and made her a trans molly. (Crown as in the top of a tree)

Branchleap is boring. Don't know why. He's very Skyclan coded though, haha. His name in WCR is Branchbelly!

Very happy for Songleap! Silkypaw sounds adorable! And Fluffypaw! Who are their parents?!

Wait are we finally getting random non attached cats again? Please? Pretty please?

Brookripple and Stripeheart are... Alright. They're not bad! I prefer Brookripple, though it doesn't roll off the tongue easily. Neither do, actually... Their WCR names are Brookwing and Stripefire.

Ah, fuck man... Nightcloud is old now... God I hope Crowfeather bites it this arc.

No comment on Appleshine tbh good for her.

Oh fuck here we go.

1. Why is Mosspelt still alive? She should have been protag, why are we away from Riverclan again? She's the oldest cat now, make her the Elder's Quest girl.

2. FLABBERGASTED there aren't more Queen's. As much as I want MinnowMouse, I think Riverclan needs youth. It's so dependent on its rapidly dwindling cast, they NEED new cats.

3. Troutshine is cute but getting sick of the Shine names now. Sorry buddy. Your name in WCR is Torrentclaw! Rapidsplash is going to get you sued by Pokémon when they choose to make a divergent kelpie!Rapidash, so to avoid that mess I named them (yes, Them) Rapidstorm.

Erin Hunter, how much time has actually passed?

How long was Sunbeam pregnant? Why are her irrelevant babies only now becoming apprentices, but the cat who was a newborn infant in Star now a mother? Did Sunbeam miscarry? Why is she not tawny anymore?

Why. Is. Floatshimmer (great name) a mother? Why not Brackenpelt? Or Nightsky?or Minnowtail? Or, oops, you're out of cats because while every other clan has a draft, only 1 of you seems to be allowed to bare children.

Glad to see an Eel and a Heron, but why the fuck is their mother HER?

She was 3 moons old as of Star, plus the 1.5 month on average for cat pregnancy, plus 6 moons for Sunbeam and Isn'tOrange's babies to grow up...

Floatshimmer should be...

10.5 months old. That is how much time has passed, give or take a few weeks.

Anyways I'm naming her Floatfang and I've decided she's very much going childless.

Oh my god what the fuck have they done

[tentacle-stylograph]

WOOOOOOO! finally watched The Sea Beast on Netflix! the first thing i saw of it, other than it being in my Netflix scroll, was this gifset, specifically the first two gifs and the bottom quote 'cause after i went "oHP THAT'S A MOVIE I'M WATCHING" from the first gif, i purposefully didn't look at the others. and HOOOOOOH BOY do i love reptilian sea monsters. -looks at my url- -corrects:- sea monsters. boy do i love sea monsters. so i was hyped to watch the movie only to see that design, but an artist i follow was reblogging a bunch about the movie and saying how much they loved it, so, hey! if it's a good movie too, that's a bonus!!

^this is the beauty that had me go “WELLP. THAT’S A MOVIE I’M DEFINITELY GOING TO WATCH”

anyhow.

non-spoiler review: FUN. I LIKED IT. THE ACTION WAS -CHEF'S KIIIIIISS-, THE DESIGNS WERE CHEF'S KISS, IT'S GOT ITS NICE CORNY MORALS FOR AN ANIMATED FAMILY FILM, AND I LIKE PRETTY MUCH ALL THE CHARACTERS. i've got some nitpicks i'll go into in the spoiler part of this review, as it is unfortunately a movie i'd have to force myself to watch again, but, for the most part, that's just 'cause of my own personal stuff / distractibility.

from the caps lock there, obviously i recommend the movie for most people. the most non-spoiler i can get on one of my bigger nitpicks is "character inconsistency. one of the characters seems to have certain traits to service the story's theme, and they inexplicably lose those traits at a certain point to service the story's theme / plot, instead of acting consistent to themself the whole time."

spoilers under cut!

__

so.

-upset exhale-

Jacob Holland.

he’s the inconsistent character i mentioned above. he’s the “hyper-competent” character, which was done super fun with the action, but then... he... just... falls apart when he’s taken away from his ship. for comedy, kinda. also to show he doesn’t know what he’s doing, sure, ‘cause that’s the point: he DOESN’T know what’s going on with these creatures. so, the writers could have kept that concept, sure -- that he loses some of his competence once he metaphorically loses his footing -- but there could have been a better balance ‘cause that was distracting.

i took some notes after watching the movie and i said “story-servicing abilities rather than character-serving abilities”: his level of competency is hinged to the story and to the writers, not to himself. again, there’s not inherently anything wrong with that -- storytelling is about communication, after all -- but the drastic dip was unbelievable.

another thing that--ugh. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHH. it’s a much smaller deal, but it’s the thing that makes the movie a “i have to force myself to rewatch it” movie.

the... ugh. really? the female-coded EYESHADOW on Red? really???? you have to give the sea monster eyeshadow?????

i would have accepted it if Maisie said her “I think she’s a girl” line or however that went. i would’ve been like “huh. um, okay sure” and that would've been fine. but the kid’s show Bluey and webcomic BACKLASH have spoiled me in regards to female designs. like, look at this wonderfulness:

everyone here is female except for the dad in back! no dumb cartoon eyelashes to tell them apart! you just gotta listen to the pronouns characters call each other. (with a few exceptions through the show, but they're the exception, not the rule, and i have no complaints about those characters)

and look at this! both female! (okay, the first one's from BACKLASH and the second is from a one-shot by the same artist.) no dumb exaggerated eyelashes or eye-shadow-that-doesn’t-actually-exist-because-you-need-to-know-the-character-is-female! wonderful! makes my heart so happy!

so anyway. that aspect of The Sea Beast isn't something that's going to stop me from recommending the movie. it's just a character design thing that irks me, like giving hair only to female stick figures or otherwise-genderless figures. and now that i've seen it's not strictly necessary, it irks me even more, especially on inhuman characters, especially since, usually, inhuman characters would have the males with those features.

anywho.

like i said, good movie, good characters.

i liked the transition of Captain Crow from murky protagonist to CLEAR antagonist, yet nothing he did seemed out of character from how he was introduced, and he was still an empathetic character the whole time. i'd need to rewatch the last scene to fully remember / grasp how his arc resolves, 'cause i do remember going during the credits, "hm, but his crew and ship got away, right? so he didn't have to give that witch 'everything,' right?"

but it seems likely his mental world was shattered and he lost the legacy he'd been working for and living in his whole life. so, neat. there are probably some really good lines and emotional moments around that which will seem even cooler with that in mind.

i liked that Maisie was smart and not just the-kid-in-the-way who has to be constantly saved, and the transition from her being gung-ho to scared and uncertain of the situation when Red first showed up was fast but believable.

and, i'll admit i was getting annoyed with "oh but everything's harmless. we've just been attacking first" oversimplified idea 'cause i've spent some time in places with literal mountain lions, and you gotta be on the lookout, especially if you have dogs, other pets, or kids, so i was grateful for the moment when Maisie, sitting in the gigantic conch shell, heard a roar in the forest and still grabbed a knife. i know it was early in the development of the "question whether something or someone is actually harmful / tradition isn't always right" theme, but i still relaxed

overall, the movie's theme is a bit oversimplified (and i know if i started comparing some of the movie's lines to certain real life idealogical movements, like history-deniers, that i'd be missing the actual points, but some of those lines distracted me too. but, at the same time, i also found the touch about propaganda at the end neat, with the royal family logo and how that was done), and i think How to Train Your Dragon probably went about its concepts more successfully from an animal behavior point of view, but it's a good movie that i'll happily recommend to others. (and i could never really get into the HTTYD movies, either, but that's another personal nitpicky thing, where i suspect i just don't like the more realistic animated movements and physics and a few other minor things lol, so i'm happy to have this movie now 'cause i like it a lot more)

as always, comments welcome, especially comments that disagree or that mention things i skipped over! (yeah, i unfortunately don't have much to say about Sarah Sharpe other than SHE'S SO COOL.) or just someone mutually happily screaming about the movie! remember, i did have happy caps locking at the start of this posts 'cause there's a lot of awesome stuff in this movie!! i appreciate comments and always find them interesting

edit: almost added these to the tags but i didn't want to spoil the creature's tentacles lol 'cause those were DOOOOOOPE

EDIT 2:

RIGHT

YEAH THIS MOMENT. THIS MOMENT WINS FOREVER AND EVER THIS WAS SO COOL YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

[the---hermit]

Hide by Kiersten White

This novel was a ride. It got a lot of criticism, I have lots of things to say too, but weirdly enough they're completly different. Hide is an horror novel set in an abandoned theme park where fourteen people are challenge to a game of hide and seek for a week. Clearly things go wrong very quickly, or it wouldn't be an horror novel. The main complaints I have read for this book is that it's too short to be set around so many characters and you don't know enough about all of them to care about what is happening. This book is surely too short to care about fourteen people, but it made sense to me. We are mainly following Mack who clearly states that she does not plan on getting to know anyone, her plan is to stay as hidden as she possibly can even in the more emotional and social side of things. Since we follow her it makes sense for us to only get to know a little better those with who she will inevitably spend more time with, and almost not know anything about the others. What I think could have been done differently is that everyone should have been characterized a bit more, because I will admit I was very confused for almost half of the novel because I couldn't remember who was who. Overall it's not easy for me to say why I wasn't satisfied with this book. The idea could have been interesting, the book was absolutely entrataining that has to be said, but it missed something for me. When things start to go wrong there should be a bit of a mystery of what is going on but at page 60 I had almost exactly guessed what was happening and how (I'll say a bit more in a spoiler-y part under the cut). That kind of killed the thrill for me, I was intrigued to know if I was right but it was more and more obvious I got it very close. Now what probably didn't help is that those things that differenciated my idea to what actually happened felt very messy and didn't surprise me. And here comes another thing I didn't like bout this novel, the descriptions felt messy and confused. I couldn't picutre things and people as clearly as I would have and the story did not benefit from this. As for the end, I won't of course say anything to avoid spoilers, but something happened that I didn't like because it felt forced, I could kind of see that coming and at the end of the day what happened next to that fact wasn't too bad. But that one thing felt really unbelievable to be honest. I know this last thought was particularly messy but it's not easy to talk about this stuff with zero context to avoid spoilers. Overall the book was mediocre I would say, it's not bad but it's not good either. There was a lot of potential in my opinion but it felt wasted.

I read this both for the studyblr w/ knives pride challenge for the prompt fucked up queers, and for the horror challenge queer main character prompt.

As usual when you see a read more section in one of my book reviews it means that from here on I'll say stuff that contains spoilers.

In particular here I'd like to talk a bit more about the supernatural (if that's even the right word) stuff that was going on in the theme park. As I mentioned above around page 60 I realize what was probably going on and although I wasn't 100% right the thing was still a minotaur-like creature. I am not trying to play it cool like "I am super smart cause I got what the inspiration was super early in the book", the fact that I'm a mythology nerd might have helped but to be honest I felt like it was super obvious. There was too much emphasis on the clues that made me guess that this was going to be a minotaur sort of thing (which I should also say it wasn't but also I am not sure what the hell that monster was cause again, to me at least, the descriptions felt super messy). An even number of players half female half male that slowly disappear as they walk around what is said approximately an hundred times a labirint makes the inspiration very clear. And if you found yourself wondering whether you were right or not a quick check into the name of the city Asterion will give you the final clue to guess. (The real name of the minotaur is litteraly Asterion or Asterius depending on who's writing). I didn't realize it at first but once I had all three informations it was too quick and obvious to realize everything, and that killed the mood pretty badly. As I said there was a lot of potential, the idea of a sort of minotaur figure and the maze is so cool especially in a more modern setting, but I feel like things were too messy to actually work and be satisfying.

[rollychan]

Not trusting Marvel or Disney is perfectly valid and all but I think that dropping hints that an organization is evil and/or corrupt but not fully saying it within the first two episodes isn't inherently them not making up their minds as much as possible foreshadowing. If you just show they're bad right away it would have less of an impact.

They're giving us all the subtext that the tva are awful and authoritarian. If in the end they don't commit to them being awful, I'll agree it's bad writing. But not revealing it this early in the series isn't bad writing. In fact it'd be worse writing to give it away that soon.

Yes, it's normally perfectly fine to do that, I agree. I love good villain reveals as much as the next person.

The thing with the TVA though is that there is nothing subtle about their authoritarian and deeply inhuman actions. That's not really subtext, it's text. Or if it is supposed to be (subtle) subtext, it's badly written subtext because it's very in-your-face. They literally, in front of our eyes, destroy whole timelines and purge variants for not owning tickets those variants didn't even know they absolutely had to have so they wouldn't be "erased." Prisoners are dehumanized - there is a literal robot that erases their clothes. Mobius argues in favor of determinism and not free will. The only subtlety about it are the posters people have noticed that aren't in the focus.

This got rather long so the rest is under the cut.

Before finding out what other fans and reviewers and the people creating the show themselves were saying, I had the same opinion as you, anon. I am still holding out hope they'll deliver on what I think they have pretty clearly shown (I'm with you on the authoritarian / dystopian coding of the TVA, though I don't quite agree it's subtle or just subtext), but seeing those interviews and reviews? That made me doubt it a lot. Had I not seen the interviews etc. or known about them, I'd still be very convinced they'll turn the TVA (or at least the Time Keepers) into the final / actual antagonists. A part of me actually is still that stubborn and convinced of that, but another part of me is jaded when it comes to Disney and Marvel. At this point I actually hope it's Disney's / Marvel's irrational fear of spoilers that makes them force people who worked on the show to give such shallow interviews and professional reviewers to act like they've never reviewed a thing in their lives.

With something that is so in-your-face, I wouldn't expect a villain reveal, but rather an escalation, as is the tradition of dystopian novels and some movies at least (haven't watched that many movies so I can't actually say and I don't want to make assumptions.)

I think I got carried away somewhere in the middle there, sorry, anon. Back to the second part of your ask.

For me, it's not so much the impact of the reveal that is important here but that they have to reveal the TVA as actually really bad in the first place that's bad writing. They clearly are. Nobody should look at what they are doing and think "yeah, that's how it's supposed to work, looks fine to me" and nobody should be on the fence about it / doubt that they are doing very wrong things. The individuals at the TVA may not be "all bad" as Loki put it so well, but what they are doing there based on their orders is. I think this would tie into the "escalation" that I mentioned. None of the dystopian novels I've read lacked impact and it was pretty clear from the start that the authorities are very tyrannical dictators (or otherwise didn't care about individuals.)

(little aside here: if not for the interviews and reviews, I'd actually have believed they were going for an "escalation" route. But the PR they're doing is messing it all up. There's also the fact that this is a Disney show and not a dystopian novel turned series. If this were a dystopian novel, it'd be obvious the TVA is a tyrannical organization and the author wouldn't have to make that explicitly clear by saying it, it'd be pretty clear within the first few pages, like in 1984. "BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU" and the mirror and recording devices mentioned would be enough, and if not, the protagonist mentioning that simply writing a diary is cause for a death sentence should be. But it's not a dystopian novel. I find the lack of seriousness around what the TVA do a bit worrying for that reason. Context matters, and so does meta-context.)

I don't know, I just think that if people will be surprised about the TVA turning out to be the bad guys here, we as a human species have fallen pretty low not to recognize it.

That said, I'm oscillating very much right now (after the second episode) between a more positive and a more negative opinion of the show. The main reason for that aren't the themes or the TVA though. I like the themes they picked up. I just hope they continue to deliver on them (they did explicitly mention determinism vs free will again so this gives me some hope.)

[jacscorner]

Deltarune Theory

Hey, hi, so, I'm PROBABLY gonna be talking about a lot of spoiler content. Deltarune Chapter 2 hasn't been out for that long. So, uh, if you don't want that, then don't look under the cut.

I tell you this not cause I care, but because you might care. So take care. ;P

I'm not sorry.

So we learned in Chapter 1 that Kris can just rip out 'a' soul and throw it aside like a physical object. They do it again at the end of Chapter 2. And it's readily accepted that Deltarune follows two entities: Kris, the character, and us, the player, represented by that red soul, hijacking their body like a hot wired car.

However, that representation always bothered me a little bit. Cause both times when Kris does this, they seem to struggle to move. They seem capable enough to function, as in Chapter 2 they straight up jump out the bathroom window, slash Toriel's tire, come back, and shove you back into their chest, but it's seemingly a struggle. And if we are some kind of parasite, controlling them like a dummy, then why put us back in if they have a choice?

Yeah, I know. But this is about the overall Meta Narrative. What is the game trying to tell us before Toby gives us the answer?

Going off the beaten path in Chapter 2, we have the Spamton NEO Secret Boss Fight. After the fight, Kris can answer if Susie is okay; Yes or No. And, I think our choice definitely matters.

If you say 'Yes', Susie points out that you sound strained. As if Kris is being forced to say 'Yes'. Not to mention they notice you're covered in goosebumps. Kris...is afraid.

If you say 'No', then Kris screams it, as if they weren't sure if they could just say 'No'.

Kris has feelings. Emotions. And look, Kris' back is turned from the screen. Kris is capable of actually having emotions. The common belief is that Kris doesn't emote cause we, the player, an outside entity, controls them. But we're still IN control, we're still inside Kris. And finally, at the end of Chapter 2, Kris...

So lettuce review, my sandwich pals; Kris can open up Dark Fountains to create Dark Worlds, a power that all Lightners potentially have, but only the Knight, a mysterious entity has actively done as far as we know. And they do this after ripping us out of their chest, again, and is thus an action separate from us.

And thus, here is my theory, the culmination of all my suspicions.

We are Kris. Kris' body is being inhabited by the Knight. We're the ones getting hijacked.

Now, this theory has a number of problems. More holes than a fine, Swiss Cheese. So allow me to address these problems.

1. If you talk to people in Chapter 1, they tell you it's out of character for Kris to do this, let alone be nice.

Kris is a teenager, one who's life has gone through some radical life changes. Parents divorced, older brother gone away to college, and then got isekai'd with the school bully. I wouldn't be surprised if Kris had a change of heart (;P) and attitude after that day.

Plus, it's not uncommon for someone to try and change their ways. Sure, doing it over night is a bit much, but not impossible for someone to at least try. It's not impossible for someone to try and change their life around after sulking and being miserable for a long time. People can change, sometimes even make drastic changes, if they're determined enough.

2. We don't know if Kris is the Knight! What if Kris is doing this as a ploy for taking control away from the Player?!

A good theory, and also correct. We don't know if Kris is the Knight. Berdly was about to open up a Dark World at the end of a Pacafist Run and Ralsei had to stop him. So, safe to say, any Lightner can do it. Doesn't have to mean Kris is the Knight, but we haven't seen the Knight in any shape or form and the first person we see actually create a Dark World is Kris?

Not to mention that Kris can perform actions without our direct input via ripping control away from us. Would it be such a stretch to assume Kris left their room after the Chapter 1 ending, keeping us trapped in a cage so we couldn't follow, created the Dark World in the library's computer room, and doubled back, ate the pie, and went to sleep?

Seems far fetched, and even I think it's pretty out there, but it doesn't seem impossible.

3. That's not how it worked in Undertale...

Well, this isn't Undertale, Chapter 1 made it clear.

And doesn't that make it even more likely? Think about it: Toby Fox isn't unaware of their own fandom. And he likes to play with expectations, both in big and small ways. It doesn't seem unlikely for them to use the fact that we played Undertale against us, acting as a subtle bit of misdirection to prepare for the big twist.

4. "No One Can Choose Who They Are In This World." This is all just to drive home the themes of no choice!

Yeah, the Character Creation section where we create and name our own avatar...and got it thrown out right in front of us. We are thrust into the 'role' of Kris, who has their own agency. But let me ask you this: did you give yourself your own name? Did you choose your hair to be curly or straight upon birth, or for the color of your eyes? Did you choose to even be born?

The answer is no. Sure, you can change things about yourself, but not without active work. You didn't 'choose' to be Kris, you were born Kris. You didn't choose to look like this, but its how you look.

You didn't choose to be the Knight, but somebody is taking your body for a joyride.

All your evidence is circumstantial and not fully supported by gameplay or story!

Both correct.

To be honest, I'm kind of on the fence on this theory and I'm the one writing it.

It's very possible that I'm seeing things not there, looking into the darkness and convincing myself that I'm not mad. But I wanted to put this theory out there. Heck, while writing this, I think there's even more holes in this theory. But I've got a strong, gut feeling about this and while my gut...more often then not is wrong when it comes tot his, I still felt strongly enough about it to put it out there.

[electronickingdomfox]

"The Starless World" review

Novel from 1978, by Gordon Eklund. It begins with Kirk reading "War and Peace" in bed, when he gets a call from Spock: they've found a lone shuttlecraft, with a man inside who claims to be Jesus Christ. Okay, you got me hooked! I found this novel quite enjoyable and it kept my interest at all times. It's also well-written, and offers a rare glimpse in the characters' private lives from time to time. My main complaint is that the ending was way too rushed, as if the author realized he had a limit of pages and had to solve everything quick, with a literal deus ex machina.

Some spoilers under the cut:

Well, it turns out the man inside the shuttlecraft is not Jesus Christ, but Thomas Clayton. A previous roommate of Kirk in the Academy, whom he had to report for cheating at exams. The man feels quite a lot of resentment for Kirk, but he has also turned completely mad since his disappearance many years ago. He claims to be actually dead, and be the envoy of a god, Ay-nab. He's put inside an isolation cell, but escapes after knocking McCoy out (this doesn't stop McCoy from doing what he does best, even with a bandaged head: mill around the bridge to annoy Spock).

The Enterprise is suddenly attracted by an inescapable force, and sucked into a Dyson sphere. This is a massive hollow sphere with a star at its center. Inside, it's like those snow globes, where there's a little world in the middle of the glass ball. Something like that but in giant scale. Upon beaming down with Sulu and Uhura, Kirk finds out the world, called Lyra, is a literal paradise. They also come into contact with the natives of the only village that seems to exist there. The natives insist that the star inside the sphere is their god, Ay-nab, something that Kirk can't believe at first.

It soon becomes apparent that something's rotten in Lyra, though. The natives talk about the Strangers, people that their god claims for himself, to feed on them. They're more active at night, like zombies. Also, the constant vigilance of the star, only interrupted by the brief eclipses caused by the inner world's moons, starts feeling truly as a "God is watching you" situation. A Klingon ship has been trapped inside Lyra too. And the Klingons seem all too friendly with Kirk, and too eager to escape that place. The reason: Lyra is travelling straight into a black hole.

That's as far as the plot goes, which I don't feel the need to spoil any further. It's not particularly original, but it's entertaining. Many things are similar to the TOS episode "For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky". I have to give props to the "lady of the day" in this novel, Ola. She's quite likable, brave and useful, and gets to save Kirk (and everyone else) in the end. Ever since Kirk rescued her from a beast, she insists that Kirk is her husband (though he says they're just good friends). She's described as pretty, and Kirk's rejection is probably due to the fact she's written more as a little girl than an adult. Ah! By the way, she's also literally a white-furred chimpanzee, like all the other natives of Lyra.

One thing I liked in this book are those little scenes with the crew, where nothing relevant to the plot is happening, but that flesh them out as persons. Sulu teaches magic tricks with cards to Ola, yet another weird hobby he got into lately. Kirk, McCoy and Uhura are bored in the bridge and start an increasingly absurd debate about the meaning of the phrase "a needle in a haystack" (you know, that kind of conversations that pop out among coworkers when you're tired and bored and becoming a bit unhinged). McCoy tries to tell Spock a riddle, but Spock interrupts him all the time to point out all the inconsistencies in his tale. And it's so obvious he's actually messing with him. Actually, Spock is kind of funny in this book. He's in full logical mode, but with this underlying sarcasm that lets you know he's quite a bitch deep inside. There's also a surprising amount of backstory for Uhura. We learn a lot about her childhood in Senegal and her father (who she gets to meet! well, kind of...). I think that TOS writers in this era had a greater leeway to invent details for the characters, with less constraints from established canon. Unfortunately, the rushed ending doesn't explore the aftermath of Uhura's plot in the novel.

Spirk Meter: 2/10*. Very, very little. But there's one point where Kirk informs Spock that he's going to meet the Klingons alone, and Spock becomes suddenly quite emotional about the danger (as happened in "Devil in the Dark", when Kirk's alone with the horta). In fact, Kirk is disturbed by the emotional display, and says he didn't know about the depth of Spock's feelings on the issue.

Apart from this, Spock leans on McCoy to smell his breath and check if he's drunk. Which, for a Vulcan, suggests an awful lot of familiarity. They're a bit clingy with each other while on the planet, as well.

Also, there's a comedic bit, where Kirk wakes up in sickbay after going through hell, and finds Scotty's face, hovering over him, "the most gorgeous sight he had ever witnessed in his life".

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.

[dtrhwithalex]

TV | Loki (104)

104: THE NEXUS EVENT

D: KATE HERRON. W: ERIC MARTIN. Original Air Date: 30 June 2021.

Non-spoiler-free recap and review of the fourth episode of LOKI, which airs every Wednesday on Disney+.

RECAP

As Loki and Sylvie watch the world around them slowly but surely fall into complete destruction and collapse, the TVA is scrambling to locate the two and recapture them. Ravonna Renslayer especially is desperate to have the two variants located, being put under pressure by the Time Keepers. It is also revealed that is was Renslayer herself who was the one to pluck Sylvie from the time line and declare her a variant -- when Sylvie was merely a child, still on Asgard. It is also from Renslayer that Sylvie subsequently escapes and, as she reveals to Loki, has been on the run and in hiding ever since, growing up in apocalypses which were the only place her mere presence did not cause any nexus events.

Sharing a heartfelt moment as Sylvie recounts her life, she and Loki create enough chaos to spark a nexus event even within an ongoing apocalypse, allowing the TVA to locate and recapture them. Once captured, they are separated, with Renslayer forbidding anyone to interrogate Sylvie, while Mobius has Loki thrown in a time-loop -- where he is repeatedly threatened and beaten by LADY SIF (JAIMIE ALEXANDER) in a memory from Loki's earlier life on Asgard, where he as a joke cut off Sif's hair. After finally admitting that he played jokes out of loneliness and a desperate need for attention, Mobius retrieves Loki from the time-loop and takes him back to one of the TVA's interrogation rooms.

Loki tries to make Mobius understand that everything about the TVA is a lie -- as Sylvie has told him -- but Mobius does not trust him. He baits him into revealing what caused the nexus event on Lamentis-1 by telling him Sylvie has been disintegrated, and gets Loki to admit that he cares for her. Accusing him of such narcissism that he fell in love with himself, Mobius closes the case and has Loki returned to the time-loop.

Despite his distrust in Loki, Mobius questions Renslayer about what had happened to C-20 and her intentions behind not letting him talk to Sylvie, and eventually steals her TemPad to investigate the matter further. He learns that C-20 confirmed what Loki had tried to tell him: everyone at the TVA is a Variant, plucked from the timeline and brainwashed to serve the Time Keepers. Returning to Loki's time-loop he admits that Loki was right and wants to help him, but they are quickly found out by Renslayer, and she disintegrates Mobius.

Meanwhile, Hunter B-15, despite Renslayer's orders, went to see Sylvie and took her back to the apocalypse they had found her in. Questioning her about her powers, B-15 reveals that she, too, had been having memories of another life since Sylvie had controlled her. Sylvie shows her the memories again, effectively gaining B-15 as an ally.

Following the disintegration of Mobius, Renslayer takes Loki and Sylvie to see the Time Keepers who wish to witness their destruction. However, once in their chambers, Loki and Sylvie are freed from their constraints by B-15 and a fight between them and the TVA ensue. Gaining the advantage, Loki and Sylvie eventually find themselves free of any enemies, and Sylvie attacks one of the Time Keepers with her sword. The Time Keeper is beheaded and, as the head falls to their feet, Loki and Sylvie realise that these three beings are merely robotic avatars and not the real Time Keepers.

Without any way to destroy the Time Keepers and the TVA, Sylvie is lost. Loki, reminiscent of their moment on Lamentis-1 and Mobius' accusation of romantic feelings between the two, tries to communicate to Sylvie whatever it is he is feeling, but before he can make her understand, he is disintegrated by Renslayer who turns out to be alive, still.

The mid-credit scene reveals that Loki did, in fact, not die, but finds himself in another realm where he is greeted by various other incarnations of himself. Prominently among them: CLASSIC LOKI (RICHARD E. GRANT), KID LOKI (JACK VEAL), and BOASTFUL LOKI (DEOBIA OPAREI).

FAVOURITE MOMENTS

Loki is back in Mobius' presence and we are immediately back to bantering like an old married couple and I very much appreciated that. These two have such a lovely dynamic, I adore it. Never thought I would say that, but I really do. I love Owen Wilson in this role very much and he and Tom have such great chemistry.

I also really liked Hunter B-15 taking Sylvie back to the apocalypse they had found her in, and asks her about C-20 and the memories the both of them have lived while Sylvie controlled them. Her chocked back sob and then the "I looked happy" was just so nicely done. I was very happy to see that B-15 was immediately ready to team up with Sylvie and drop the TVA at a moment's notice.

The same goes for Mobius. I loved that, despite Loki's betrayal and the fact that he was so set in not wanting to trust him again, Mobius still couldn't shake the feeling that Loki's comment was more than just a quip and went to investigate. He is not just a mindless follower of orders and I love that very much about him.

FAVOURITE CHARACTER(S)

My main man Loki, always and forever. I adore this version of Loki so much. He is so much fun! I love that we get this actually, truly mischievous Loki, this chaotic mess. He isn't brooding and full of evil plans. No! He wants shenanigans and fun. I love it. And I love that we get to see more of his vulnerable side too.

But also, Mobius! My man! He's back!!! If this man doesn't get to ride a jet ski at least once I will be very upset. I will also be very upset if he is actually gone now. (Cannot believe I am saying this about an Owen Wilson character. This is new. Good on you, Owen, good on you.)

QUESTIONS, CURIOSITIES

Less a question and more a demand: if the mid-credit scene means Loki exists somewhere after being disintegrated, Mobius better be alive somewhere. I want that lad back, whole and in one piece. You hear me, Marvel? Otherwise you might have yourself another CoulsonLives on your hand, you just watch.

I've already seen a bunch of reactions to the whole Loki/Sylvie thing and most either go with happily shipping along, or being very against this concept out of some sort of incestuous concerns. And I feel like, am I the only one who watched that scene as neither romantic nor incestuous as such, but more as Loki being very confused?

Apart from Frigga, and possibly, to some degree and especially earlier in life, the brotherly love of Thor, I don't think Loki has ever felt love. And for the first time there is someone who not just understands him completely, but also accepts him exactly as he is. Especially following their conversation about love in 103, I think what was between Sylvie and Loki on Lamentis-1 that caused the nexus event, and makes Mobius accuse Loki of being in love with her, is not a romantic sense of love, but in a way a certain self-acceptance?

I'm sure Loki has some kinds of feelings but he doesn't know what they are or how to categorise them. And he is very confused about liking Sylvie and caring that she is alright. But I don't think he would have understood it as romantic love without Mobius' accusation of it. I don't think it's narcissism either. What I saw, was a glimmer of Loki realising that he can love himself, he can accept himself. If Sylvie, who is him, understands and accepts him, then so can he. But yeah, I'm curious to see where they're gonna go with this, certainly.

OVERALL IMPRESSION

Generally, this episode was absolutely amazing. Every week I keep finding myself becoming the shocked Pikachu meme while watching the episode, but this week especially. I can't wait to see what next week brings, and I hope very much that we find out Mobius is, in fact, still alive somewhere.

[still image taken from the episode's imdb page]

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

Shadowhunters 3x11, Lost Souls -- Review

It's that time of the year again where I put myself through the torture of enduring this show. Watching this show is like going on an endurance run. You drag your feet when you first start, when you get acclimated to the level of exercise, you think "hey, this isn't too bad" and then by the end, it's just pain...but also a sense of pride that you made it through. That's been my experience with the show, anyway. And it's basically how I felt about Shadowhunters 3x11, Lost Souls.

I would like to preface this review with saying that I am NOT a huge supporter of this show. I do enjoy certain elements of it but I'm not what would be classified as a devoted fan. For me, Shadowhunters is not a good show and I do get very critical of the show in my reviews. Honestly, for me, I watch the show because 1) I'm too curious not to and 2) I find that this show can be so bad its funny and that's how I reap enjoyment out of it. I am not at all invested in this show or its characters anymore. I'm just watching to see what happens. If you're a die hard fan and you lash out at everyone who has a different opinion than you, you might want to skip these...I'm just saying. My reviews may not be for you. If you do decide to be a total troll, well then pay attention to the below disclaimer.

This is going to be an honest review of my thoughts and feelings regarding this episode. If you're the kind of Shadowhunters fan where you only want to hear positive things about the show, this is not the place for you. If you decide to stick around and get offended by what is said, then that's on you. I warned you. Just know that if you send me any rude comments or messages, I will 100% ignore you. I find that's the best way to deal with bullies. I work 14 hour days. Do you really think I want to waste my incredibly valuable free time dealing with derogatory comments? Hell no. This review will consist of my honest opinions. Opinions are never right or wrong. I'm not telling YOU how to think and feel. I'm telling you what I, quirky and socially awkward me, think and feel. So please, lets discuss with dignity and respect. If I'm critical about this show, it's only because I want it to get better. There is, in fact, a difference between hating a show and being critical of it. I do not hate Shadowhunters, I am being critical and analyzing the flaws as I would with any other show. There are positives but there are also negatives. It's great if you want to promote positivity with this show (and I encourage you to do so) but that doesn't mean I'm not going to point out the things that are legitimately wrong with it. Also, keep in mind that despite the fact that I do like the books, me being critical of this show has nothing to do with my fondness for the books. I don't really care if the show deviates from the source material as long as the changes are good, it makes sense, and it doesn't create plot holes within the confines of the world the show has created. My problems with this show are problems I would have with any show or book for that matter. I think it's perfectly reasonable to take issue with a show that has plot holes, shoddy world building, and inconsistent characters. There will be spoilers for the books and movie.

We are at last embarking upon the final episodes of this show and if this episode is what's going to set the tone for the remaining episodes, then I'm glad it's the final episodes because...well, this episode wasn't great and is a perfect example of what I won't miss about Shadowhunters. Bland and cringey dialogue, more characters than it knows what to do with, and too much jumping across plot points. There are individual moments in the episode I enjoyed but overall, this isn't an episode I loved.

The Loss of the Mary Sue

I'm not entirely certain of the timeline in this episode. The episode never specifies on exactly how many days have passed since the 3A finale but I'm going to estimate about a week or so. Everyone believes Clary died in the explosion caused by Lillith attacking Simon.

The episode opens with Jace, Izzy, and Alec chasing after a downworlder and Jace makes some very shoddy decisions in this fight that lets you see just how reckless he's become in the wake of Clary's "death". We then get a montage of everyone missing Clary and the more significant one is Jace, that's the one they spent the most amount of time on. He's basically walking through Clary's room remembering all the times he spent with Clary...so basically three memories. Another classic example of what I've always been talking about when it comes to the adaptation changes. Clary and Jace have barely spent any amount of time together, even less actually dating and I'm supposed to believe that they're each other's one true love...not going to happen because the show didn't develop it at all. There's a moment in the montage where Jace starts looking at Clary's drawings and getting really emotional about it and I felt nothing because Jace has never been shown to take any sort of interest in Clary's artwork before. In fact, if it weren't for that one scene in 3A, I wouldn't even have known that Clary was still drawing. By the show deviating from the books in the way they did, Clace had less development but yet the show still wants to continue the aspect of Clace being hopelessly in love from the books. You can't make a significant change from the source material and then pages down the line expect to pick up exactly where you left off. By making the change, you changed the entire context of the relationship so now the entire story has to change in order to fit that new narrative. Sadly, the Shadowhunters writers have not figured that out yet and continue to make that same mistake...or they're lazy, it could be that, too. Jace eventually gets so depressed that it's implied that he's contemplating suicide but Izzy is able to talk to him and get him to think. And then she just leaves him after making him promise he won’t go through with it. If anyone's wondering, if you catch someone who you believe may be contemplating suicide, do not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! Particularly in a dark room. Being in a dark enclosed space is not the kind of place that typically sends out positive energy. But I suppose I can cut Izzy a little bit of a break. It's entirely possible the Shadowhunter world doesn't really understand how to help someone who's experiencing suicidal thoughts. They certainly didn’t help out Jace’s mother. Alec also confronts Jace about this in probably the only believable scene in this entire episode. Seriously, I've never been a Jalec shipper but I totally understand why people ship them. Matt and Dom are probably the only actors who actually have any chemistry with each other. But Alec tells Jace he's doing the memory of Clary a disservice and that if Jace were to die, it would destroy him as well. In other words, Jace isn't the only one who's going to be affected by this decision. Jace eventually is called by Luke who for some reason appears to be living in a motel room. I don't know why but whatever. Luke doesn't believe Clary is actually dead and he tries to convince Jace through some really weird conspiracy theory that probably even flat-earthers would find difficult to believe. But hey, if it leads to them finding Clary, I'll go with it. And I understand why Luke is unable to accept even the possibility that Clary might be gone for good. He can't think that about someone who he basically views as his daughter and the last connection he has to Jocelyn. Luke gives the evidence to Jace and tells Jace to at least check it out.

Simon, understandably, is also having a difficult time with all this. And Maia returns to give him emotional support despite leaving for a very particular and totally understandable reason but Simon needs her so of course she comes back for him. It's not like Maia exists for anything else but for Simon's character arc. Both Simon and Izzy kind of passive-aggressively shame Maia about leaving. And I'm particualrly disappointed in Izzy telling Maia about what happened to Simon's family as that's a very deeply personal issue and Simon should've been the one to tell her. It wasn't Izzy's secret to tell. I get that they were trying to use that scene to exposit information to the audience but there were better ways of doing that. Hell, it could've just been Izzy making an off-handed comment about Simon. Maia could've been talking to Izzy about how badly Simon is doing with the Clary situation and Izzy could've been all, "especially with what happened with his family" and Maia could've been shocked and Izzy could've been flabbergasted because she didn't know Maia didn't know. That would've been a much better way for the situation to be handled. But I'm not too pleased with Izzy saying in response to Maia not knowing, "well how could you? you weren't around." Just the insinuation that Maia should stay around and support her man and not go off and get in the right head space to properly heal herself after dealing with the re-emergence of her abuser. But I suppose I shouldn’t expect any different from Izzy seeing as she, herself, also only exists to give support the other characters. I think these passive aggressive intonations of shaming Maia are really horrible and shame on the writer. Maia, Izzy, and Simon decide to work together to find a way to get rid of the Mark of Cain from Simon's forehead. They talk to Raphael who now works at a soup kitchen in Detroit and Raphael tells them the tale of some dude chilling in the sewers of NYC who could possibly be the oldest vampire alive and may have answers to the removal of the Mark of Cain. Maia decides not to help Simon on this as its a bad idea for a werewolf and a vampire to meet and I almost forgot that was a thing, the show so rarely does anything with the vampire vs werewolf dynamic. But of course Maia has to back off to give room for Sizzy. I’m really not a big fan of Sizzy being explored here as everything that made Sizzy fun and interesting in the books has been completely stripped from the show. I’d much prefer Saia on the show. But really, I just want Maia and Izzy to have their own character arc, though that doesn’t revolve around shipping. 

The Malec B-Plot

We have a Malec B-plot that I found just completely unnecessary wherein Iris returns and kidnaps Magnus because she wants to get Madzie back. She falls for the most obvious trap in the world and hopefully we never see Iris again. What it does for Magnus's story works I guess but I just found it to be a really obtrusive subplot that didn’t fit at all with the episode. I'm not sure if it's just the fact that I've been away from the show for a year so I can see the the show a little more clearly now but the Malec chemistry is no longer working for me. Maybe it's just that I've always paid more attention to how alarmingly unequal their relationship is but I'm looking at the body language they're giving off and its not the kind of body language you would expect from lovers. They're so stiff around each other and not relaxed at all.

In fact, there's a line in this episode where Malec has just put Madzie to bed as they're baby-sitting her and Alec kisses Magnus and Magnus tells him to stop because they have a child in the apartment currently. Alec kind of scoffs because it's just a kiss and Magnus is all, "You know how we get." And I'm like, "Do we really, though?" There's plenty of scenes of them talking and I can buy them as friends with that but lovers? I’m having a difficult time actually buying that now. Like I said before, the Jalec scene was way more believable than any Malec scene in this episode.

But Magnus decides he doesn't want to feel helpess ever again so he decides he needs to learn how to fight. Honestly, I was surprised to learn that this is implying he doesn't even seem to really have any basic self-defense capabilities. The way he was swinging the sword earlier in this episode lead to me to believe otherwise. Plus, Harry Shum Jr is a pretty buff dude but I guess maybe Magnus lifts weights and that’s it. Alec decides to help him out on this venture, though.

Siblings Reunited

We find out that Clary is indeed not dead and that Jonathon's back. I'll be real, here. It's kind of hard to feel sad for Jace or Simon or Luke or anyone really regarding the "death" of Clary, considering this entire episode is interspliced with moments of Clary being very much alive. Honestly, I think this episode would've functioned better if it was just about showing everyone going through all the different stages of grief regarding Clary and at the end of the episode when they've hit the acceptance stage, that's when we see Clary wake up in the apartment with Jonathon. But whatever. The show decided not to go that route so we have to make do with what we got. Clary wakes up and looking pretty damn fantastic for someone who's been asleep for days. Not a strand of hair out of place, make-up is flawless, and not a wrinkle to be found on her clothing. In fact, I think they're in even better condition than they were when Clary initially had to put them on. Clary also isn't even the slightest bit groggy, she knows exactly where she's at and everything. Clary does comas well. Jonathon tells Clary that it is indeed him, her big brother and that before Lillith was sent to hell she sent them away to Siberia, apparently. Clary plays nice for a little bit with Jonathon but decides to chance out in the cold of Siberia. It's nice to see that in her state of unconsciousness her muscles didn't atrophy from lack of movement or deteriorate from lack of food. But Clary fails in her escape, Jonathon finds her and brings her back. Clary tries to stab him with a knife but they both find out that what happens to one person will also happen to the other. So yeah, we're full in City of Lost Souls plot here which is ironically the title of this episode. Shadowhunters has never been all that subtle. This new actor for Jonathon is going to take some getting used to. Will Tudor did a phenomenal job with him so its difficult to see this new guy as Jonathon. But it also is difficult to take Clary's anger and hatred of Jonathon seriously when you think about all that Jonathon's really done on the show is kill a shadowhunter Clary had never met before and then injured Max and Max swiftly recovered. Clary is all about painting him as the worst possible being and indeed, in the books, he is but here, while he may be a bad guy who's done really bad things, I don't know if its deserving of that level of hatred. We haven't exactly seen a lot of his horrifying dastardly deeds. Another example of making a change and then thinking you can still keep the same storyline at a later point in the story. I'm certainly not saying I wanted Max to die but story-telling wise, it would make the emotions Clary's feeling here a little more believable. But I'm actually really interested to see where this whole Jonathon and Clary plot goes. In the books, it's Jace that's put in this situation so it'll be interestig to see how the show tackles Clary being in this situation. I'm also wondering, because they seem to be trying to stay away from the incest vibes here, is Jonathon going to gain an unhealthy obsession with Jace instead of Clary? In the books, Clary was who Jonathon was creepily obsessed with. He was equating possession with love and viewed that Clary belonged to him in every way imaginable. So since the roles of Clary and Jace have been reversed here, will Jonathon's obsession now change from Clary to Jace? Probably not but it would've been interesting to see for sure. I mean, if you're going to do a role reversal, you might as well go all the way, right?

The Clave Acting Shady AF

The Clave is being super shady right now. They appear to be doing experiments on the incarcerated downworlders and all I can say is, "do we really need this?" And also, "Why is it being implied that Jia knows about this and is okay with this?" The interesting thing about Jia in the books was the fact that she was the first step in the leadership to help get rid of the more corrupt aspects of the Clave and instigating change. But I suppose it's per the norm for the show to make everyone but the main group a bad guy instead of morally grey. As I've said before, this show has no concept of subtlety. I can only imagine that this is leading into the part in City of Glass the show hasn't done yet wherein the alliance rune is going to be introduced but instead of using it to fight Valentine, they're going to use it to fight Jonathon. That's what these downworlder experiments seem to be leading into as it reminds me a lot of Valentine experimenting in the books. I'm sure there was 0 social commentary intended when writing this into the show, though...but I think its safe to say it's totally social commentary. The show isn't very subtle, once again.

But good news is it looks like Ollie is gone for good so yay! I am side-eying the show, though about that. What was the point of introducing her if you weren't going to do anything with her? I'd say they probably wasted about half of 3A with Ollie unnecessarily. But maybe if this show hadn't been cancelled, Ollie would've played a more significant role? Well anyway, at least some of the fat has been trimmed.

My biggest issue, as always, is the dialogue. The dialogue felt extremely one-note. It was almost like the writer made a flow chart of what they wanted to happen in this episode and was like, "crap! I guess my characters do need to speak, here's some lines to explain what's going on." The dialogue basically existed solely for the purpose of giving exposition but the real kicker is that it was really unnecessary. I could've had this episode on silent (and that might've even have made it an improvement) and I would've understood what was happening perfectly. The dialogue really didn't add anything to the experience, it just made the episode feel more awkward than it already was. And then there continues the trend of Shadowhunters treating their awesome plans as if they’re the most clever plans in the world when in actuality, the plan is beyond obvious and it was super cringey and awkward seeing Izzy being treated as this amazing strategist for making the obvious move. And the episode was already plenty awkward with the constant cutting. It's really difficult to enjoy any particular subplot going on in this show when we only spend maybe 30 seconds to a minute on any particular moment. I kind of wish this show structured their episodes more around themes as opposed to plot. Plot is temporary, plot is always changing but exploring themes through plot gives you more of an appreciation not only for the characters but the story, itself. While I didn't mind sequences in this episode, at the end of the day, it just kind of left me feeling empty. I also think the acting felt a little stilted as well. I wasn't a big fan of any of the performances given in this episode and whereas I've never thought anyone on this show was oscar-worthy for their performances in the past on this show, their performances have always been maybe a C+ to a B. But in this episode, it just didn't feel like any of the actors' hearts were in it. Now granted, that could be a side effect of the script because, as I've mentioned before, the script wasn't great. Or it could've been the directing. There's a lot of reasons for why acting can feel stilted and it very rarely has to do with the actor or actress being bad at acting.

I've made notes about how the dialogue and acting was stilted but those weren't the only things that were. The fight choreography and the blocking felt a little off as well. For starters, the fight choreography did not feel organic. It was strangely reminiscent of season 1 fight choreography. The constant jump cuts so you don't see too much of what's actually happening and just feeling like fight scenes move very slowly. Like the reaction times between sword swing to parry were very slow and it kept on taking me out of the moment. Then you also had moments where Alec and Izzy catch up with Jace in the sewer and everyone's staring at the seelie they're trying to capture for a good 5 seconds before the actual fight continues. And then there's just strange blocking choices where a character walks to a point in the room and then delivers their line but the walk to the new mark wasn’t organic and actually made the line feel more awkward.

I'd probably give this episode a C+. It was passable, with enjoyable moments but ultimately not something I have any desire to return to. There were cute moments (primarily Jalec and Madzie), but overall as an episode, not something to be too terribly impressed with. And yes, there were moments I did like. It’s not my fault the show just had more bad parts I felt compelled to talk about.

[themelancholyhill]

The emergency at work was that someone almost died lol but she didn’t because luckily she has me as her nurse.

I wrote a poem yesterday about friendship and wanted to share it with you.

Upon the soil of my heart, lies a sparse garden. I’ve blocked out the wind carrying wildflowers from every corner. Instead, I’ve handpicked each being to a specific patch of my land. Seedlings grew tall, reaching for rainwater and sunlight. Under my care, some flourished. Year after year, their blooms stretch proud and dependable. There are ghosts too, petals too heavy for their stems, bowing to their almost forgotten death. But I remember every flower I plant. When I think of them, I still gasp and cry, at the cuts made by thorns and cauterized by pollen. That is the nature of this intentional cultivation, not every flower wants to grow. For those that do, the soil gives as much as it receives.

So before you pass the honeysuckle, you have to understand, there is no other garden quite like mine.

I saw “Fight Club” the other day, it was a rewatch, i’ve seen it before. Have you seen it? i was just about to tell you my thoughts on it and realized i shouldn’t because it contains spoilers. The weather here is more reminiscent of autumn than late spring. Everyone is complaining except me. ✖️

Good thing you were there for that "emergency". Is it mean to use "" on that word, or is it just feeding on the dark humour? 🤔 oh well!

Your poem is simply delightful, and I can relate to it so much. I guess this is the aim of poetry—speaking to people's soul more than anything else 💛 I'll try to be as eloquent as I can while talking about certain lines that stands out to me. I want to get better at critical reading, and what a better start as a good friend's piece of writing?!

You saying, "I've blocked out the wind carrying wildflowers from every corner." speaks volumes to me cause that's exactly what I've been doing. That's a bit of an exaggeration here, but I always do my best to be true to myself and sometimes I meet great people along my way—I'm pretty open in this regard. However, due to my situation with Ray, I'm slowly building walls around me. They're not tall enough so that people can't see me, but they're of a height that doesn't allow them to get closer. "Under my care, some flourished." just hits me cause it reflects my tendency to be there for people, and like you said, only "some" flourish, which is found in the line, "not every flower wants to grow." It goes to show that despite our good intentions, some people have their say and we can't keep them or see them turn out the way we intended. I think that, "But I remember every flower I plant." sums up the entire thing. Despite everything, the fact that we won't forget those that aren't around us anymore is our last gift for them. Sorry to mention this once more, but remember when I mentioned suspecting Ray to be a narcissist? I read that they thrive for attention and they like it when their "victims" are heartbroken. If this is the case with him, my last and everlasting gift for him would be everything I feel, I'd send everything I'm holding within my heart until he's intoxicated! Anyway, I truly enjoy reading your poem, and it goes to show how our experiences feed our creativity.

I'm planning on watching Fight Club after I'm done with my exams. I haven't watched it, but I know what's it about. It's one of those movies that you know about, and you can even discuss, without seeing it. I actually want to watch more movies set in an urban setting. After watching both The Batman, and La Haine, I've grown inclined to stories that take place in the city.

The weather has been a bit cold these past days (did I say that in the last ask? I don't remember!) and I'm happy about it. Hopefully it won't be too warm on Sunday cause I'm taking an exam, and the heat drains me!

I hope my "review" isn't all over the place, but I really wanted to share my honest opinions on your lovely poem 🤍

[electronickingdomfox]

"The Tears of the Singers" review

Novel from 1984, by Melinda Snodgrass. A very romance-focused novel, distinctive for having Uhura as a main character. She gets in a love relationship with a virtuoso composer, who will be the key to resolve the problem at hand: deciphering the musical language of a new species, to warn them about their impending doom. The other romantic couple in the book is most unexpected: the Klingon general Kor (from Errand of Mercy) and his recent wife.

The narrative is fine, though the central section of the novel plods a bit, and there's no major development for several chapters, with characters going in circles around the same problems. The solution to the central mystery is also, in my opinion, quite predictable since at least half of the novel. Music is, of course, a central theme in the story. And I think the narrative did a good job of capturing its elusive nature, specially at the end. There's also a kind of environmentalist message, since the new aliens (the Taygetians or Singers) are very similar to seals, and are being slaughtered by greedy hunters. The Federation comes off as quite unsympathetic, because it seems to be totally okay with this as long as the Taygetians are considered just "unintelligent animals". (Come on! I would have expected them to be more respectful of animals, intelligent or not, by the 23rd century. They're only killing them to collect some stupid jewels, after all!). Also, I wonder if the writers of The Voyage Home took some inspiration from this book, since humpback whales are said to be extinct...

As for characters, Guy Maslin (Uhura's love interest) gets a good development. He starts as a snobbish, self-centered celebrity, and progresses to a brave man, willing to sacrifice himself for a good cause, despite his physical frailty. Uhura is portrayed as strong, caring and determined, but I don't think the reader gets to know much more about her than what's already present in the series: she sings, she likes music, she's sometimes torn between her duty to Starfleet and her desire of a family... You know, the usual. In fact, the portrayal of female characters (specially Kor's wife) is rather sexist, for the standards of other novels of this era. On the other hand, the triumvirate gets a more secondary role compared with Uhura and Maslin. Spock is a bit fastidious sometimes; he tends to present objections to everything, even when he doesn't have a better suggestion (shut up, Spock!). But McCoy bounces on his feet, which is great. And Kirk defeats a guy, in one of his famous hand-to-hand combats, by kicking him in the balls, which is... great as well.

Overall, it was a decent novel, though I wouldn't count it among my favorites.

Spoilers under the cut:

A space-time warp is eating starships in the Taygeta system, and it seems the warp is quickly expanding, so the Enterprise cancels all shore leaves and is tasked with investigating it. The only inhabited planet in the system is home to some seal-like beings, who spend their whole lives singing. They're currently being hunted for their precious crystal tears, which they shed upon dying, since they're considered simple animals. But Spock is convinced that their musical language is proof of a higher intelligence, and that investigating it may cast some light on the nature of the space warp. However, deciphering such a complex language would require the skills of a really talented musician.

Fortunately (or unfortunately for the guy), there's just such a musician in their current starbase: Guy Maslin. Uhura had attented his concert, and a bit by chance, she ended up on a date with him. The guy is quite a jerk, and very dismissive of the military, but Uhura holds her ground. And despite their continous bantering, it's obvious there's a growing attraction between them (you know, they're just like Spock and McCoy). However, Maslin's opinion of Starfleet doesn't improve much when he's forcefully recruited into the Enterprise to help with the Taygeta problem. Some of his criticisms are kind of fun, since they reflect what many viewers of the series must have thought at times; like why is Kirk always going down with the landing party, instead of taking care of his ship... Anyway, the guy is determined to hate every second of this forced mission. But Kirk insists on bringing him, even after learning he's suffering from a serious illness, that gets much worse with stress and overwork.

During the trip to Taygeta, Uhura and Maslin start falling in love despite all their discussions. Maslin is a pale, sickly little man, and often insufferable, so not your average love interest. And Uhura seems the only one who can deal with him. It's fine that the romance gets development and is treated with seriousness for a change. Compared with Kirk's romances (actually quite infrequent so far: only in three novels), which never get beyond the very initial stages and feel pretty shallow.

Upon arriving in Taygeta, the Enterprise is greeted by two Klingon ships, tasked with a similar mission. But those ships are commanded by Kor, who still has much admiration for Kirk, and a sort of Klingon honor. So they make a truce to collaborate in the investigation of the warp. Spock has the theory that everything is related to the Singers, and for the following days, Maslin tries to crack their music to no avail. The adult Singers never leave their grottos, and sing a continous melody, while the cubs are really cute and friendly to humans. At this point, the only result of Maslin's analysis is that the adults' song presents gaps in the structure, as if some instruments were missing. The landing party also observes a strange phenomenon among the cubs: tons of fish leap out the sea, the cubs sing a different melody, and the fishes are magically transported to the grottos, for the adults to eat. Besides, the Enterprise scanners notice that the planet's terrain is continually shifting, with forests appearing where there was previously a desert, and viceversa.

Maslin keeps working on the music, each time more involved with the mission, despite the aggravation of his symptoms and Uhura's worries about his health. Meanwhile, Kor's wife (Kali) suspects his husband's first officer is conspiring to take his place. And she starts getting closer and friendlier with the humans. Kali also discovers a group of hunters stranded on the planet and killing Taygetians. So Kor and Kirk beat the bastards and put them in the brig.

At last, the landing party begins to understand some of the strange phenomena. The cubs' singing has the property to manipulate the environment at their will. While the adults' song, with its gaps due to the hunters killing them, is causing the warp in space. When the Klingon learn about this reality-altering power, they decide to use the Taygetians for their own benefit. They betray Kor and the humans, and while the landing party battles them on ground, Kirk faces the Klingon ships from the Enterprise. Outnumbered, Kirk sees no other solution than luring the enemy ships into the warp, and they all disappear into another dimension.

Maslin is over-exerted after the battle on the surface, and very much in the throes of death, but wants to complete his magnum opus. Having deciphered at last the Taygetians' language, and using Uhura as a singer, they ask the cubs for help. With their powers, the creatures are able to recover the lost ships, and they transport Kor back to his starship, where he kills the traitor and ends the mutiny. Then Kirk and the others are granted an audience with the Taygetian matriarch. And through a mixture of music and telepathic contact, they convince her of the necessity of stopping the song at once. The adults had been singing continually since three thousand years ago, to protect their planet from a nova. The radiation, however, is gone by now, so there's no more need for the song, which is in fact ripping the dangerous warp in space. The Taygetians stop singing, and the warp disappears. But right then, Maslin dies in Uhura's arms (not very surprising, considering the fate of those who enter into a serious relationship with anyone from the regular crew...).

In the end, the Federation offers diplomatic relations to the Taygetians, now free of the burden of keeping the song. And Uhura deals with the loss of her lover.

Spirk Meter: 7/10*. Only brief moments, but rather blatant. Kirk watches Spock's "slender fingers" caressing a chess piece, and reflects on how much he has missed him, remembering Edith Keeler's words about how Spock belongs to his side. Later, Kirk is getting dressed in his cabin with Spock present (he came from the gym, which means he was walking around showing his tits as usual). When the Enterprise disappears inside the warp, Spock is sure that Kirk is alive, since he still feels his bond with him. And when Kirk is momentarily lost in the telepathic link with the Taygetian matriarch, he feels reassurance in Spock's "strong and beloved touch".

Besides this, Kor appears in the novel, so you know what that means... And this time, his hate-love for Kirk is more like love-love. He defends Kirk against the Klingon factions that wish to destroy the humans, and is quite willing to collaborate with him. Kor also expresses often his admiration for Kirk. And it's obvious he's been pestering his wife about how awesome Kirk is, during these past years. It doesn't help that the narrative presents some of his officers as "handsome" or "elegant", when writing from Kor's point of view.

Also, we have this little gem from McCoy:

"Spock, you're just beggin' for a physical. A complete physical."

Sounds... hmmm... invasive.

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.