#more research has yet to be done
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Uhhhmmmm pirates reblog if you agree
#im sleep deprived#uh oh#i think i have an exam tomorrow#but i don't even know#pirates are cool#btw#edward england#he was very cool and interesting#more research has yet to be done#history#pirates#pirates of the caribbean#potc
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A–Aventio TGCF idea?? Wherein Civil God Veritas Ratio meets the infamous Ghost King Aventurine during his first mission cuz cuz like— The "live for me" paralels?!? The one who has all the luck partner as well?!? The villain who was actually not the Villain this whole time!?!? The loving humanity a little too much it causes their downfall !?!?!?
Rant AU in the tags proceed with caution
#Okay to put it into better words:#Veritas having once being a prince wanted to give everyone the prosperity of knowledge and became a civil god in the pursuit of it.#Sadly this backfires in people using that knowledge for their own greed and creating civil wars within it as well as unleashing far more#Destruction upon the land. And the other gods didn't help Veritas in stopping that bc see that's what happens when people overshare info!!#So the aftermath is just pure chaos plus banishment from being a civil god and thrown as this god of war and plague.#800 years passes and he is seen to just still be doing the same things but I a simple term. Teaching people to read and count.#Often times taking up mission and doing research on new pathogens to help cure the sick that can't afford and somehow during a reading#Lecture he gets ascended back to godhood and everyone is like ??? And even he is like ???#Well he doesn't care much about it and just continues to do what he's always done. Except that once in a while he has to take a detour#Mission to deal with ghosts and other malignant spirits. And upon one of those recurrences he finds himself aquaintanced with#The infamous Ghost King Aventurine. Who is mostly feared in heaven due to having beaten the strongest and wisest at their own games. Even#When the odds where fully against him.#As for Aventurine.#His life was harsh but as the prince had given a lot to the people#Not just education but also free them of diseases and sickness. One of which had struck his sister. He liked the prince and wanted to#Follow in giving and protecting the prosperity of the former kingdom. But the good things did not last and his family was struck in between#The many wars that took place. No matter how much refuge Kakavasha and his sister sought no place was ever#Safe enough for them.#He watched the entire world go up in flames yet somehow he could hate the prince-god for it. But rather the people who had started to#Create weapons in his name. The rest of his years he spent it as a warrior slave and then when death reached him he couldn't even go to#The afterlife since he still held so much vigor and wanted revenge to all the people who had turned his land into ashes and his family#Into bones. That is why he became a mourning ghost.#(I didn't want the kakavasha story to be so centered on ratio like it is in tgcf. Because I think it will be fun for the two of them to#Not recognize each other at first after 800 years and then when they do. Rather when aven does he's full on: oh shit it's the cute prince—#As for who was the cause of the upheaval in the kingdom and the maker of the weapons. Idk I was debating there being more than just one#Antagonist to have pulled their strings in verita's kingdom as well as be the reason Aven's sister died. So he's more revenge seeking for t#And the genius society as civil gods just spoke to me it for so perfectly. Ling wen as Ruan mei? Yeah exactly.#ratiorine#Aventio#Dr ratio
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mizutaigen is literally like. the first "toxic" m/f ship i've ever cared for. cuz like usually my taste in m/f ships is basically "unhinged baddie" x "badass wifeguy" *
* (see:yen/geralt. trevor/sypha. adolin/shallan. kataang but katara is sane and they're literally so wholesome like theyre traumatised kids in love who are each other's emblem of hope in a war-torn world! so basically they don't count. anyway. i'm rambling.)
and to that end my friend called mizutaigen yaoi-adjacent and im like. yeah you're right actually cuz like hell yeah non-binary mizu and bisexual taigen rights and all the gender fuckery in the show in general
but also like.
theres just SOMETHING else about mizutaigen that just GETS me. like there's a special secret sauce like the pheromones in that one sephora lotion attracting spiders and i am the silly spider!!! there's just something about it!!! it's not even the enemies to lovers trope cuz i personally am not even usually into that (obv it's fine if you are. but yk.)
so as i keep rotating these thoughts around i thiiink it's the fact that, yknow, theyre so similar. like i honestly truly think they could be besties in another universe: a kinder universe where taigen was not taught to hate. a universe where mizu was not born a girl in a deeply misogynistic society or half-white in a xenophobic homogeneous society.
yeah now that i think about it that really just might be THE secret sauce!!! like the fact that they COULD be perfect and happy together, if only things were different, if only they werent themselves.
smth v bittersweet about that's just driving me insane and makes me want to root for them to overcome all those obstacles, to say "fuck all that" (re:the world and all its fucked up shit) and find each other in the end. to eventually become each other's fav person and confidant. who obv still bicker and tease and insult each other all the time but they dont really mean any of it and over time it just becomes a running gag between them and no one else has to get it because it's just between the two of them.
#mizu x taigen#taigen x mizu#taimizu#[clenches fist] it's about the POTENTIAL of it all!!!!!#like taigen's last words in s1 being 'we're not done yet' like ?!? has me WANTING to see more. wanting to see them grow with each other#like i want taigen by the end to be ridiculously head over heels WHIPPED and SMITTEN willing to die and kill and just be BETTER. for mizu.#mizu. the person who changed his entire life. his entire worldview. pulled the rug from under him and made him a man forever changed.#to overcome his selfishness so he can be mizu's HOME in a world that doesn't allow her one#i want him to end up deciding like. 'on purpose. im going to love you on purpose.'#and mizu no matter how much she tries to convince herself that she cannot love or be loved. ends up accepting it anyway#love as work and violence but also love as rest and safety#and also bcs taigen represents the ideals of society. him willing to change & grow also represents society's potential to change & progress#LMAO okay sorry i absolutely cannot stop rambling about these bitches the brainworms are insane#bcs i just noticed that other mizutaigen enjoyers tend to also be in the same fandom circles for ships that i just. do not like. at all#and wondered like huh. i wonder why that is. and wondering what makes mizutaigen different#idk just ignore me i dont even know if im making sense my brain is goop from working on my research proposal#shut up haydar#fandom.rtf
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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just a couple of creepy 18th-century innkeepers talking shop!
[featuring @borisyvain's lazarus mcclure and my own james webster]
#em draws stuff#oc time again hehe#haunted by your hand#the gambler: james webster#really I should start having an 'other people's characters' tag again as well...#so yes I have thought about these two being Brothers In Homosexual Haunted Murderhotel for long enough that a drawing happened#I do not know Where they are in this image (esp. as I have aged james up by some 30ish years so as to be able to Interact with mr mcclure)#(which is why she's looking a bit mellower than usual and also wearing teal... Character Development which as of regular hbyh has not#yet come to pass.....)#eh who knows maybe james went to ireland. she can have a little a go to ireland hang out with other horrible people as a treat#she deserves a little treat for making it to the 1780s-1790s (no one thought she was making it of the 1760s alive I am sure)#surprisingly this was a delightful refresher as I have been in a state of artblock/only interested in drawing things I can't work on in#public spaces lately! but this came together in barely two hours (admittedly after four days of staring at pictures of mr mcclure)#anyway if you read this far you should all go look at jory's blog his characters are SO cool and well-researched#james will someday be more well-researched than she currently is but that will be after I get around to reading 'the english pub 1500-1830'#which I found in the library and was so brave and strong and Did Not check out so as to actually maybe get schoolwork done
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The only thing is I legitimately like Lord Deblin better than Colin for Penelope LOOOOL
#He is so handsome and quiet and gentle#and a researcher! and an activist!#he is so so so much more interesting than Colin.#who has done nothing of use ever except gallivanting all over Europe#and one day find out his friend is hot. shocking fucking news dude.#I mean to be fair#the PASSION!!!! angle of the series just doesn't hit with me and my aceness#but yet. Lord Deblin ten times over.
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Do all the people complaining that Zuko’s scar in the Netflix live action adaptation of Avatar “isn’t gorey enough” realize that how it looks in said live action is legitimately how real burn scars look after having about three years to heal
#Ive done actual extensive research on it#Burn scars “mature” after about a year and from there they start fading and smoothing out#Zuko’s scar legitimately looks realistic#Burns aren’t super gorey once they’ve scarred#It also appears to be more handprint shaped which. I love so much?#Give me that symbolism im obsessed#And to add another quick thing it’s entirely realistic he has an eyebrow too#If the hair follicle wasn’t damaged his eyebrow could easily regrow#ALSO in the animation they’re obviously gonna exaggerate how horrible the burn looks to make Ozai seem more evil for burning his child#Zuko’s scar looks fine please stop complaining about a show that hasn’t come out yet#Why are people allergic to enjoying things anymore#avatar the last airbender#natla#netflix avatar#prince zuko#Researching burn scars is actually super interesting i suggest you do if you can
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Why do people react so weird when you say your self diagnosed?????? How about you let people live their life?????
#i understand if someone just looks at a disorder and goes hey thats me without doing absolutely any research on the subject#that is bad and just shows that people need to actually do research on shit before claiming they know everything about it#but if somebody has actually done tons of research on the subject and has even been told they seem like they would have the disorder/illness#it should be acknowledged that that individual has the full right to self diagnose.#THIS CASE ESPECIALLY GOES FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE UNABLE TO GET A DIAGNOSIS OR WHO DONT WANT ONE!!!#i personally want to get a diagnosis. i feel like it would help me be able to understand myself more#i am currently unable to get a diagnosis though#my parents arent convinced there is a possibility i am neurodivergent so they just dont want to take me to get diagnosed in the first place#i am fully allowed to be self diagnosed. i would like to keep it that way.#wow i just rambled a lot in tags yet again#okay time to go to sleep im tired as hell#night night time#need to go honk mimimi#robot enjoyer rambles
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#man I hate this thesis so fucking much#the topic is terribly interesting but my arguments are all over the place and surface level#and it's written horribly to booth so it doesn't even sound particularly nice#I have a lot of work left and not many days to do it so I'm rushing the end and I really might not make it#except I have to because it would be a whole mess if I didn't#on top of being a crushing disappointment#and all this work will be read in five minutes by a bunch of professors that will forget all about it immediately#it's compilativa so I can't even publish it even though I'll try to publish. just not as an experimental research obviously#it's mostly the fact that no one really gives a fuck about it beside me (unsatisfied)#and my supervisor (has to since she agreed to supervise)#personal#I can't wait to be done#the idea of working one more minute on it makes me want to bang my head against a wall#and yet I'd need a whole other month#I'm such a slow writer
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just once i'd like to complete one (1) bigger project that i can actually be proud of
#hrrrrg met with my advisor for my thesis and it's Not Great!!#idk how i always manage to set myself up for failure#struggled so much with thinking of a specific thing to write about so now i have this super broad paper about everything which essentially#amounts to writing about nothing#cuz that's not how history works you can't just make a huge argument like that (at least not without much more extensive research than ive#done)#and im not saying anything novel or interesting anyway#but i already have a whole semester of work dumped into this thing so neither my advisor nor myself wants me to tear it apart and start fro#scratch#there definitely wouldn't be time to do that anyway#so now it's just gonna be yet another thing where i have no confidence in it while working on it and just eke out an end product thats#decent enough to satisfy others while i know inwardly that its really not good#the professor for the capstone class last semester said the paper was good and i was in a good spot to finish it this semester#but this is the first time my actual advisor has really looked at it and hes confirming all of the doubts i had about it :((((#agh itll ultimately be fine i just wish i could do something to justify the 'oh youre such a good student!' im really not!!!!!!!!#i have no idea what i'm doing!!!!!!#p
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Thank you transwomen (in general but also) for the term "boymode" bc using that terminology for myself as a transguy (so, "girlmode") has been the only way I've been able to aptly and succinctly describe whatever the hell was going on *vaguely gestering to my adolescence from ages 15 to 19* there.
#hope i'm not overstepping or saying some dumb shit LMFAO#but like. speaking v generally. esp in the beginning of unpacking 'oh fuck i. i don't think i'm a girl.'#i found i related a lot more to transfemme experiences of living one way for so long all your life playing A Role#and in some cases leaning heavily into masculinity to 'prove' you couldn't possibly be a woman#than like. so many transmasc experiences i'd see online of like 'oh i always knew.'#and the staples of the experience being like. tomboyish. baggy hoodies. ect.#and like i'm not saying any of that in a derogatory or dismissive way. it's just so much of what i saw as a teen#'researching' being trans so i can be a better 'ally' to my friends and classmates LMFAOO#also this is why the narrative of transmen being 'lost girls' and 'just tomboys' is SOOOO stupid it's funny to me like.#there was a very short stint in middle school where i was more 'tomboyish' in appearance#very quickly it was corrected out of me by the influence of loved ones and myself. that wasn't Really Me#let me tell you. the combination of people pleaser/autistic masking is INSANE esppp when you're in an Evil Setting for it LMFAO#<- evil setting being my specific brand of christianity i was brought up w#but case and point i don't think i was ever actually a tomboy. i was HIGHLY feminine actually.#and i found a lot of delights in feminity too! esppp a love of fashion and cute aesthetics#so like. describing my experience w gender/presentation has always been really difficult language-wise#saying 'when i was a girl' doesn't feel right cause i never was one. just played A Role. i didn't always know though.#i didn't even realize i WAS playing a role. also there were things i genuinely loved and enjoyed associated w feminity.#and saying 'post transition' is weird to me too bc. i'm not? there yet? i'm not done yet.#and any which way of trying to describe 'when i came out' is clunky bc i was always outed/forced out#like. multiple times. even before i had the time to explore it/make sense of it myself.#def rambling but. girlmode and autistic masking are synonyms to me now. it captures everything.#i swear to god the parallels between autism/being trans drive me INSANE to me they are always informing one another.#like i feel like i could write an entire fucking essay about it. if i was an academic i would fucking KILL it
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Wip game- alternate version plz?
WIP Wednesday
“We could go to the Hideout.”
“The bar?”
“Yeah, the bar. What, you think they let me play there on Tuesdays because Hawkins has such a big metal scene? No, man, the owner’s a family friend. I know where they keep their spare keys. And Vecna never took a picnic through my head--we should be able to hole up there for a while without anything thinking to look there.”
#wip wednesday#no tag for this one yet#anyway this is super self indulgent in a lot of ways but also there's literally no way that that new book#has better/more interesting lore for the hideout than I do#because the owner/bartender is my favorite OC ever and I've done so much silly little research for someone who will only ever act#as an absent plot device/be mentioned in passing in this fic specifically#plausible deniability babes: if it's not in the text I can fill things in & you can't say it's wrong. And also even if it is sometimes.#but I needd a reason for both the Trapped-In-The-Upside-Down-Crew & Home-Alone-ing-Being-Stuck-In-An-Apocalyptic-Hellscape-For-3-Years-Barb#in the same place at the same time#and it just so happens that the perfect excuse comes in the form of Barb's Aunt-By-Marriage Who's Friends With Wayne And Owns The Hideout#And Is Also In The SCA#The SCA aspect is crucial truly#because it lets me give Barb a sword#for there's no guarantee that we'll ever come home
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Lmk how two of my professors are going to assign research papers the day before break and then make them due the day we get back.
#they’re like ‘what it’s not like you have classes to worry about it’s plenty of time’ as if people want to research and write 10 page papers#in the one week that we have off#like have I done anything productive this week? no. but that’s not the point#the point is breaks shouldn’t be for professors to assign more fucking work#like if my professors can still leave work from months ago ungraded then why the fuck do I have to hand everything in on time??#my English professor legit said he didn’t understand my paper I’m writing for his class but that’s because he has yet to give any response#like he said it wasn’t well organized#I’m sorry maybe that’s because you’re trying to get my whole point from an outline and I was giving you a general FUCKING OUTLINE you won’t#see how point A reaches point C because you want this to be 10 pages and only to have 3 points#Istg I go back Tuesday and all I’m going to do until then is my assignments#all I’ve done up to this point is catch up on sleep that I didn’t have because I wake up and get on a train at 6am#sorry I love college it’s great (ehh) but sometimes it’s just like
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Had my first GIC appointment today and genuinely got asked what toys I played with as a child...
#like??? not only an outdated question but also dont be stupid#I've been doing my undergrad research on trans representation in media and im honestly#so baffled by how people have tried to solidify gender whilst accepting trans people#its almost like the acceptance of trans people was allowed just to silence our challenge to the gender binary#like you can accept that trans people exist eveb outside of the binary and that gender is aat least to some degree a social construction#and yet youre still required to ask me if i preferred the girl or boy toys as a child#sorry that my inate internal gender self fucked with a bratz doll ig#and she was very nice but like come on#and she was obviously the expert but it felt like talking to a toddler#i know she doesnt know me or how much i know about being trans but girl i know more than you#ive been out as trans for 8 years I do community volunteering i have seen countless of my friends transition#ive lived it myself and ive lived it with others and ive spent my whole life in this world learning and listening#ive done research ive done reading ive learned about hundreds of years of gender fuckery and im sorry i do actually know more than you#it just sucks so much to still have to perform the little transgender dance for people#it sucks that they have to do all the same fucking useless questions and tests#it sucks that i have to display my life out on a plate for them to give me the same hormones ive been on for 3 years#i want medical advice and administration and a prescription so im not paying £100 every six weeks#i doesn't fucking matter what toys i played with it matters that this is how im choosing to live my life#but i have to mention playing with my brothers transformer toys and cry about how much i hated my body so that i can get 'treatment'#im not a problem im a person who feels this way and has made this choice and agh#anyway#whagever#al is talking
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It is funny. Recently I had a transphobe argue to me, that "well, it is all made up! Animals will still not know that you identify as a man". Which to me is so funny, because while there has never been extensive research done on this topic, there is a lot of anecdotal evidence showing the exact opposite.
As someone who has done a lot of work with animals, I can tell you, that those animals that for one reason or another like one gender more or less than another often show the same loving or hostile behavior towards people completely depending on the gender the people actually identifies as.
"Sure," some people might say, "because if you take hormons you gonna smell like the gender to an animal." But that is the funny part. Animals often act according to that with trans adults who are still in egg mode. Who have not come out yet. And nobody knows why and how they can tell.
But some of the harsher animals with a "gender preference in humans" are like the best trans indicators. You have not admitted to yourself you are a guy? Yeah, this cat is gonna hate you anyways. Because this cat hates men.
Sincerely the guy who got attacked by this one fucking bunny, who didn't like dudes, several times
#animals#trans rights#trans#transgender#trans rights are human rights#animals say trans rights#but seriously fuck that bunny
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An entertainer wanting to entertain in their typical garb and persona seems logical enough. It’s meant to expose children to the big personalities of an art form based in gender performance - not sex performance. Drag as a whole isn’t meant to be mocking physical, sexual traits but rather the aspects of gender that society imposes. This gendered performance can be masculine, feminine, or incorporate elements of both, the same way that a clown takes elements of their personality and heightens them to the point of hilarity.
It doesn’t seem productive to be so worried about how entertainers would like to entertain children in their free time (in a way that exposes those children to art and gender expression in a very personal way) when you could use your time to read to children as you are, or perhaps learn the history of drag rather to better understand it’s significance in society and to marginalized communities.
how come the drag story hour dudes don’t want to read stories to kids as themselves? why do they want to do it as their adult entertainment personas? why are they so hell bent on putting a degrading mockery of females in front of kids who are largely spending every waking hour with their mothers? most of these men are supposed to be homosexual men. would that not be better representation?
#drag#as someone who supports art and loves children#and has done drag#and research on the history and performance of drag#but who would rather read to children out of drag#and doesn’t consider himself a gay man beyond it being easier to explain than demisexual and wanting to contribute to queer activism#I support drag story hour#drag isn’t just impersonating women#it’s playing with gender#and fashion#and art#and performance#to reduce it to something degrading and ugly shows a personal hatred#and lack of knowledge#so please understand#this isn’t about your personal feelings#it’s about an art form used by the queer community to understand oneself#and ones gender identity#being made out to be predatory#more religious and political figures and teachers (typically men) harm children than anyone else#yet you aren’t calling their professions degrading
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