#more recent ones arent usually this bad but.

[fallenrain40]

ALSO, I JUST WANT TO SAY. Although I'm not the biggest Ivypool fan, I never really was, THE FANDOM ISN'T EXACTLY ALWAYS NICE TO HER EITHER. Now, it's not as bad as the way they've treated Dovewing. And Ivypool often felt like a fan favorite, even !! But. I've also seen some terrible takes on THE BOTH of them. Alongside Hollyleaf as well. Honestly, those three cats seemed to get a lot of weird controversy meanwhile Jayfeather is Literally Perfect Boy to the fandom, and even LIONBLAZE doesn't really get much hate- he's just seen as kind of boring, which, is pretty accurate for the majority of the time he had a POV. very starkly different vibe the fandom has towards those cats meanwhile Holly, Ivy, and Dove all stir up arguments all the time. Them being flawed characters are a GOOD THING and idk why some people dont get that

[carrieway]

some of u r really weird about mcr5 and dunes

[baekuras]

Have stopped my binge of The Walking Dead (during season 9 just like last time I dropped it 😭 I am trying but also...tired so breaktime from that) to actually go watch Fear (the walking dead also bc duh) because I started it when it began but then took a break when it was on break till the new season and just never came back to it Anyhow I do also quite enjoy it (altho rip to I think season 4 which made me irate for many reasons at the beginning but then calmed down some so I am back to enjoying things) and the characters etc but I also am definitely going in it looking for comedy Didn’t do that for the main show as much because that was a rewatch But by now any media I consume I WILL make fun of (lovingly) or try to imagine funny scenes because...duh

i actually wanted to put all my other ramblings in the tags but there is was too much coming to mind with every word i write even though my memory can be shit so...readmore it is Watched till season 6 episode 5 so basically spoilers up to that

anyhow rip nick your chaos will be missed

i do also think the moment i rly decided to go make fun of everything lovingly(I need you to understand I genuinely mean that because I also did cry a lot during appropriate moments) was when nick & troy had their joyride through the horde at the ranch like yep everyone is stuck in the pantry slowly dying and also how the FUCK did we get here but also fuck it I’m in WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO CARCRASH

also fuck troy for being high on the “actual assholes i enjoy watching list” because while everyone of those got murder there why did he have to just casually sprinkle in some soft racism? or casual racism? i was about to say “not shoot on sight-racism” because rhe does do that...or I believe he would but that’s more a “humans are alive” thing than a “oh god is that a native american human ALIVE” thing....that’s his dad-may he rest in fucking hell forever dear GOD did his kids deserve better than his shitty ass making problems present past and future FUCK THAT man he is NOT on my “assholes who i actually like on screen” list

like my mood basically went from “urgh oh god fuck he’s a racist shithole.” to “oh FUCK he’s a child abuser racist shithole WHY DON’T YOU KEEP ADDING ON LET’S GET A FLAMETHROWER A GUN ISN’T ENOUGH HERE” (i think that’s basically about where i’ll end my opinions on the whole ranch shebang because any details may be missed by yours truly not being american so i am not going to know most details on treatment of native americans in the current age or age when this was filmed beyond the “oh yeah it’s shit” bits although I will mention that Taqa’s whole “he stole my ancestors land” at the beginning bothered me until it was revealed that “oh this dickbag actually shot his family like in the current time not 500years ago okay yeah no go off baby have fun”....and also that i only now learned his name was spelled w/ a q dear god everyones accent had me confused on his name for the longest time and his last name is ACTUALLY Walker why does it have to sound so same i am so bad with names aaaaaaah qwq anyhow rip him i was confused until now if his name was Walker(actual last nime), Tucker(which does not fit), Taka(also doesnt fit because it seemed more japanese to me but between the 3 options my brain presented was the most fitting so.....but noppe....a fucking q....just right there.....I’ll take the L and also where the fuck did this man even fuck off to)

speaking of fucking off: Rip to Nick, you blew up a damn only to die w/out any further character development afterwards 2 episodes later and then just got to hang out in the background in the past parts of future episodes

WHICH BY THE WAY IRRITATED ME SO MUCH not the Nick died thing but yes just from a “we are starting a new storyline for this-oops he dead :D” point yes it’s urgh But the flip-flopping from Past to present to past no present pastpresentpastofpewwgvszujsiop aneurysm of storytelling Like Okay So we start with new characters i have yet to give a shit about (and morgan who i have yet to give a shit about...again) to then go back to our oldies and THEN they fight and it’s a mess but now they’re friends somewhere between the past being shown and everyone fighting and manipulating and Al filming Nick’s dead body and me yet having to give a shit about anyone except for John because he seemed sweet and that’s about it what the actual fuck so yeah i skipped most of that until it calmed the fuck down but by then I was mostly annoyed by Al(i like her now but at the beginning i was mostly like “yeah yeah you got a big fuck you truck and like being an asshole to people and just bother and annoy them for a video-did great on youtube huh didn’t you now how about you actually do something helpful and get your ass out WITHOUT being a dickhead?” kinda deal....we got so far in terms of me actually giving a shit about her lol)

speaking of new character or oldes ones returning, Dwight! my boy! continuing being shot in various limbs to then stumble around (how is that a trend i notice) also rip his hairline because I am pretty sure between the main show and fear the makeup artists added more scarring to that scar-which i dont mind but is also kinda funny to imagine (like sir negan didnt burn you THAT much where did you find the rest or is it just the way you part your hair?) regarding hair post haircut&shave&further haircut later: who is this  man and what have you done with the  burned rat from before? anyhow i still like him and i kiiiiinda wish Morgan was a character who would have been more involved about the past simply because I’d have liked to see them chat about it-not even anything heavy but just about what happened, how everyone was doing after Dwight went away because Morgan was still there for a bit at least, or idk just a bit more remembrances of where they came from sprinkled in there

I mean we do have Morgan and his staff stuff still which I do actually enjoy, and ofc lately Dwight showing off his fancy torture skills ala....music like the good old saviour days but i want more xp

which goes back to another moment i had to chuckle at in my head even if it wasnt funny because Sherry basically went “We will hunt Virigina down and kill her and end all of this” to which Dwight basically went “okay i got my torture gear ready, got a plan and am ready to do some murder lets go” //insert Sherry shocked pikachu face-meme here I keep forgetting she left before shit got really real and heavy  but like....yeah honey here is your husband back he comes with some extra baggage but also....you were there when he was part of fucking Daryl up what are you surprised by? That he’d literally kill for you and abandon what he built with the others if need be? bitch he followed you across the country for god knows how long-it’s Dwight! of course he would sweety please although i would like him to just tear some ass  because there were many a moment where i though it justified but yes yes we go keep being peaceful now-and that’s good! mostly because the main cast we actually like and care about isn’t dropping like flies but i did also have fun w/ the whole war between the saviour and everyone else soooooooo....yeah chaos reigns

also shoutout randomly to the not-yet-radioactive kids+others who just disappeared from the story long enough to make me wonder if the writers forgot about them and then they appeared in the next episode lol

also random shoutout to john&june because they are adorable and cool and work well together as a team and couple i really like them

backpaddling to earlier again because rip alicia because if we timeline was in order it wouldnt have gone down in that order but just watching it she went from losing her brother to her mother dipping out shortly after her favourite child died like “woops sorry but i’ll go sacrifice myself now go take care of yourself now w/out your family like before” although last time someone started a fire and was dead they didn’t stay that way so...eh who knows let Madison return and fuck more shit and people up in her desperate attempt to keep her family alive(oops) and make things better but also kill anyone if she has to but at least she has nightmares about it <3

did I already mention I also had to laugh at Chris AND Travis’ deaths? not because they died because yeah sad i guess but A I didn’t like Chris at all so I was happy and B dear god this teen really went with some dumb ragtag dudebros who just shot their friend to death for a hurt leg (what is he? a horse? grow up) and then wanted o be hip and cool driving their car and crashed it and THEN got shot for the same thing you FUCKING IDIOT I am very much on the side of “let the kids go out and do stuff they can survive and aren’t 12″ but also chris my guy are you perhaps stupid or an idiot? prime teenage behaviour 10/10 made me hate him not for anything i’d consider bad writing but just for being a shithead i’d have known in highschool

Travis’ death made me laugh simply because of how abrupt it was and also how he just yeeted himself out the plane like yes a walker in there while they’re busy crashing down is bad but also lol (also Taqa going to the leftovers with Alicia all proud they shot it out the sky...................i also had to laugh because DUDE YOU ARE NOT DOING THAT....bitch is proudly showing off his kill from the wanna-be military ranch and it’s basically her dads corpse in the context of things.....like........i am dying xDD you can not be serious what was the plan here other than showing off? and then immediately having to feel a bit bad about it because woops killed the wrong man)

also trav dying via neck bullet vs morgan surviving heart bullet for over a month and being just fine after it got out travis forgot his plot armor rip v-v

[opal-owl-flight]

Mirror mirror....

Ive been messing with this concept of a shadow/mirror 3 recently as a writing exercise. Basically, I look into what the hell the regular 3 is hiding in the deepest bowels of their characterization and exaggerate/bring to the surface those traits. This is what I ended up with!

More deets below

Mirror 3 is carefree, but its bc they are willfully choosing not to look into the reasons for the dirty work theyre doing. Also, hilariously, they are taking care of themself.

(Bc 3 views self-care as a priviledge/a selfish thing and not smth they NEED TO DO TO LIVE)

Mirror 3 doesnt give their all in things bc if 50% is enough, why bother? They take care of themself...but usually at the expense of others.

Theyre a bad captain in the way that they ALWAYS sit in the back and never do any of the heavy lifting.

and they are smiling all! The! Time!

"Being a hero is easy!" They chirp, "You just have to do the right thing!"

Mirror 3 is the perfect hero. The perfect princess. Perfect....everything. at least to 3. And theyre not even trying to be. They take things so easy. They arent burdened by the world. Theyre living how they want to...... notably, by letting go of their responsibilities. Its likely an internal thing regular 3 has where they think they can only have one thing. Self, or the world? They had chosen the world.

The thing mirror 3 DOES give a damn abt is their image, and also Inkadia. Why shouldnt they? The nation praises them! The nation values them!

Bc of this, theyre keen on keeping the status quo! Ans its so fun. Its so easy!....and it benefits them.

They are a SELFISH bastard, the selfishness that contrasts 3s selflessness.

But tgeyre a mirror self still, rigjt?

They represent the parts of 3 that wants to be recognized for their work. The parts of 3 that want to rest. the parts of 3 that wants to forget about the truth of what theyve done. The parts that want to forget the horrors of war.

The parts of them that still cling to the belief that theyre a hero, and not a monster.

[godisshook]

Casual

Cody is the ultimate fuckboy. He prides himself on never getting attached and only using others for sex. A path of broken people and torn relationships is left wherever he steps foot, and he just doesn't seem to care. He was a horrible boyfriend, but he was my friend regardless. In my defense, we had known each other since grade school, and I can confidently say that this is a recent development. The worst part of it all is nobody else seemed to care (aside from those he hurt of course) about his dating behavior.

I tried to be a balancing force in his life, as much as I could, hoping that I could be a good influence on him, or at least prevent him from doing as much damage as possible. I tried to steer him on the right path, using our friendship to hopefully help him understand, but all my pleas fell on deaf ears. Usually, I was the first to know if Cody had entered a new relationship, but I stopped receiving those all-too-common relationship updates from him for months. Knowing his habit of being a serial dater, it seemed far too suspicious that something hadn't happened in all of this time.

In addition to ensuring Cody doesn't implode by ruining every relationship he had, it was also my plan to make this summer the best of my life, and that meant changing everything. I have only dated one guy, and that resulted in an incredibly underwhelming breakup and an even more underwhelming friendship afterward.

Our gym days had been a sort of ritual between the two of us forever, I always did cardio, while he did weights. We used this time to catch up on each other's days and make plans, all intermixed with some exercise. As one of our many rambling conversations soon circled to the topic of relationships, I used the moment to bring up my grievance with him, in the sternest way I could. Balancing seriousness with a friendly air, I said, "It is wild how you manage to be so bad at keeping a relationship." He replied, "Remind me, you've been with how many people?" With an immediate, "Oh, one!" Keeping up with the banter, I quipped, "But, I mean, at least my one relationship still likes me after." Even as the words left my lips, I knew I had crossed an invisible line. Cody's look at me only proved my thinking, as I glanced over to a blank stare.

The moment suddenly felt intense. I thought I had hit too deep, even gone too far. I steeled myself and prepared a response, but as I did, I noticed a smile appear on his face, soon replaced by a full-faced chuckle. As the sudden shift in emotion gave me whiplash, I could only manage a light laugh, but I felt his strong hand pat my back, as he said "I mean, if they hate me so much, they should take it up with me, but they all knew what they were getting into." The seriousness of his response was dulled by his kind demeanor, but his words hit hard.

He always had that effect on people, where his words never seemed to match his face. I always thought it was a quirk of his, but at this moment, I became aware of just how effective it could be. His disarming smile made it impossible to hate him for long, and his way with words always got him out of whatever jam he found himself in. As if nothing had happened, he said, "You wanna go on the treadmill?" Whether it was a strategic olive branch, or him just genuinely not caring, I did not care to know, I grabbed my water bottle and followed behind him.

As our workout drew to a close, I sat to cool down, and scrolled through my socials as Cody still migrated around the gym. He would soon place himself right between me, and a mirror on the wall. Looking up from my seat, I said, "Why arent you sitting down?" As if he took offense to the statement, he responded, "I have to admire my hard work first." Knowing that this was the least ridiculous thing he could have said, I replied, "Y'know what, knock yourself out." Before I could even properly go back to scrolling through social media, it became obvious why he chose this position, as he lifted his shirt to admire himself in the mirror, and chose to close the distance between us.

Cody had always made it obvious he had feelings for me. But due to my general aversion to dating and knowing his dating habits, there was never a chance for anything to happen. Despite all of this, he flirted as if we had never seen each other, which always yielded interesting situations. This felt like a nice shift from things, and I soon reassured myself, thinking that maybe I did actually get through to him, and all of these months were him reflecting on things. While I most definitely was going to exaggerate my role in this process, despite the true cause, it was fun to think about.

There were many days like that afterward, with quips and banter, and our friendship remained strong. He invited me to the park, an event that seemed very date-like, but one that was incredibly pleasant nonetheless. Weeks filled with the usual late-night texts, sudden house walks, and constant snack trips, things felt so familiar, so, safe. I reveled in this moment, as with our return to college, life would get busy, and we would inevitably fall out of touch, meeting in hurried coffee rushes, or quick workout sessions.

For now, there was peace, and I appreciated it whenever I could. After lounging my day about, I received a sudden text from Cody.

"Come to the gym," He texted.

"What do you mean, it's literally closed," I responded.

There was a second of hesitation, but a speech bubble quickly followed with an,

"I know."

It was weird, but he's had stranger ideas, and so I followed along, wanting to see what situation he had conjured up today. I arrived at the gym only ten minutes later, as it was a quick walk from my place. As I approached the door, I noticed it was already ajar, and in the parking lot, a single black car was parked at the far end. "Cody," I thought to myself. I entered, and the few lights that were on illuminated a path to the far back. With a tinge of paranoia overtaking me, I looked around to see if the cameras were on, but to my surprise, they had all been blacked out. When I finally reached the back, Cody was standing there, expectantly.

In a cool tone, he said, "I've been thinking about what you said a while ago, I do need to get my act together, I wanna do better." A look of surprise came over my face as I replied, "How so, and why does it involve us being here so late?" My question was met with hesitation, a moment of silence, but even that felt like an eternity. Breaking the lull, he responded, "Let me show you." He was serious, there wasn't even a smile to join his words, he wanted me to know he meant what he said.

Things felt different this time, as Cody closed the distance between us, I felt an indescribable heat and urgency emanate from Cody, as if everything in this moment was his world, and was waiting for my word to let loose. I had been able to resist his charms for years, but this moment felt, different. It was as if everything had aligned for this to happen, but it was just right. "I know you can't stand my dating habits, but I did it all to try to replace my desire for you.

My body gave away my feelings in a way words could not, and I leaned onto Cody and laid a kiss on his cheek. I whispered, "I should've done that from the start." The kiss elevated the heat of the moment, and a sharp intensity came over Cody, desire and joy mixing, as he assessed just how he was going to have his way with me.

Suddenly, I felt my knees hit the ground as his warm hands moved expertly around my chin, bringing my gaze up straight to him. "There's a reason I haven't been seeing anyone because it's always been you." His words lit a dangerous spark, and I could not resist anymore. But just as the moment was set to hit a fever pitch, a noise outside brought us back to reality. As the sounds of footsteps drew close, we rushed out the back door, and ran to the forest behind the gym, an escape route we were used to navigating for years. It was exhilarating, it felt like, in this small rush, we were back to being kids again. As we approached the other side, we watched our breaths for a moment, and after looking around to ensure we hadn't been followed, we walked up onto the sidewalk.

The walk was calm and serene, with few words spoken, but many thoughts still communicated. I felt my cheeks redden, a blush overcoming me. Cody took notice of it, but only his eyes gave away his knowledge of things, as he continued conversating as usual. In a second, as if he finally had his chance, he asked,

"You wanna go back to my place?"

It was obvious what his offer entailed, but there was a curiosity nagging at me, and I just had to resolve it. "What are we?" I asked. It was a brave question, I could have gravely misjudged the moment and ruined the friendship right here, but I felt bold, and it was a time for big steps. The usually calm and hesitant Cody became fiery for the moment, responding, "We're whatever you want us to be." It was clear what he intended with this, but it was my turn to hesitate. With uncertainty meandering throughout me, I replied, "Let's keep things casual for now, then." "Fine by me," he shrugged.

His arms went over my shoulder, bringing me close to his chest, where I could feel the intensity of his heartbeat. The rest of the walk back was silent. Where once there was small talk and expectant words, it was now a walk of resolution, one of completion. Finally arriving at his, I splayed myself on his bed, and turned on a movie, as he went to the bathroom to take a shower and change. Even though I snuck a peek (of course) things were relatively PG, likely due to me being too exhausted to actually capitalize off of him being in the shower.

I looked around his room, a place I had been to many times, and once I had seen change countless times over the years, as new aesthetics came in, and old looks went out. It was fun to see all of this change, and made me admire just how long our friendship had lasted. Just as I thought that the situation that I now found myself in could put the whole friendship in jeopardy. I had just told him I wanted to "keep things casual." Which I immediately regretted, not knowing what response he even wanted. With my overthinking taking up every moment, I couldn't truly enjoy the fact that my hot friend wanted to date me.

Taking in how I even got to this moment, things seemed so complex. The guy who I had been lecturing for ages on how to be a better boyfriend, somehow wanted to be with me? It seemed like one of those perfect coincidences like the stars aligned in my favor just this once. I was going to take it in stride but still was mired over what he wanted out of all of this. With my thoughts all over the place, it seemed fortuitous that the person to take me out of that lull would be none other than Cody.

His return from the bathroom resulted in him only in his boxers and a sweater, his bulge already noticeable as he walked out. As he sat down, I resisted the urge to drool on the spot. He sat right next to me and started watching TV. I could not resist the urge, and immediately laid my head on his waist, feeling his bulge just inches from my head. Both of us were making moves, but in a way that allowed us deniability, it seemed that we were each taking my words to heart.

We continued watching, only getting ten more minutes before Cody decided to lift off his sweater, revealing his muscled chest. He knew exactly what he was doing at the moment, and as I had to shift my head to accommodate him taking his sweater off, I was now face to face with his toned body. I had to admit, he knew exactly what times he was hottest, and this was definitely one of them. I was mesmerized by him, and he knew he had me enamored.

I decided to still resist, wanting to beat him at his own game. I sat close to him, resting my head on his shoulders, and laid my hand on his bulge, while watching the movie innocently. It was my bravest moment, but I felt his cock pulse under my hand in response, meaning I had clearly succeeded. Cody kept his cool for now, but his face was going flush, it was clear that his body was going to betray his mind when it came to how he felt, and that was most apparent when it came to his dick.

His bulge was getting more noticeable, and it was clear that this movie was no longer the focus of the night. I looked over and met with bedroom eyes from Cody. As his bulge grew, I knew what I was being beckoned to do, but I, always the tease, wanted to extend the heat. I laid a kiss on his cheeks, "You seem so excited to watch a movie with me," I quipped. A strained look came over his face as if he was simply waiting for the go-ahead.

I only gave him kisses, but he returned them with a special intensity. Small pecks became deep kisses, and we began feeling each other up and down. The moment could have gone further, the feeling was there, and the moment had aligned. To my surprise, however, Cody would be the one to stop it in its tracks. Separating from the kiss, he said,

"Please, just stay the night."

I was awoken by the smell of eggs and bacon cooking downstairs, and my nose guided my path to Cody cooking in the kitchen. It was obvious I made the right decision in staying, as Cody was set to dote on me every second he could. Hypnotized by the delicious-smelling food, I could only sit and grab a plate, as Cody said, "Take as much as you want, I made plenty," I confessed, "You are truly my favorite person." "I know," he replied.

I lounged about, enjoying my day by doing absolutely nothing. Even on Cody's bed, I felt a comfort that I hadn't experienced in a long while. Things just felt, right. As Cody ran errands, I watched TV, changing between reality shows and trying to beat commercial breaks. He would return occasionally, and always lay a kiss on my head or, if I had gone into one of my many naps of the day, simply leave a snack for me as he left.

As the lazy day drew to a calm evening, I stood up to go home. I had walked to his with none of my things and had to steal even the clothes I was wearing from his closet. Deciding that I had to go get my things, I stepped out, leaving a note for Cody on his return. Instead of the note greeting him, it would be me, as when I opened the door, none other than Cody was standing right there, having returned. He noticed me holding my stuff and putting things together in a second. Instead of letting his feeling be known through words, he simply dropped everything, and grabbed my waist, laying a deep kiss on my lips. As he drew away from the kiss, he said, "You don't have to go."

His disarming smile once again clouded everything, as it felt as if I couldn't say no. I said, "But none of my things are here." He immediately replied, "We can get it and you can come back." As I finally put the pieces together, I understood what he was truly asking. He had long wanted us to live together, and this was the moment.

I had lived by myself for years, and there would be worse people to live with, so I finally responded, "Y'know what, I can just use your stuff." Cody broke into a full smile from this, and he closed the door behind him and began kissing me continuously. The only moments we stopped were to come up for air, as we took off each other's clothes then and there, leaving on only the more base layers. I felt his bulge press against his shorts and decided to play with him a bit.

Maintaining the kiss, I brought the distance between us closer, pressing straight into his bulge. As I did, a jolt seemed to go through Cody, as he bucked against it, temporarily breaking the kiss. Grabbing me tighter he said, "You do these crazy things, and don't expect me to respond?" Before I could respond, he had lifted me up on his shoulder and was carrying me to the room. Seeing the kitchen and hallway move around me, without my legs being able to do a thing felt, different, but sexy nonetheless.

Finally reaching our destination, he took care as he entered the doorway, and finally getting inside, rushed to throw me on the bed, to which I exclaimed "Hey!" He quickly replied, "Your whole trip here wasn't allowed to be amazing." I giggled at this, and got up on my knees, beckoning the still-standing Cody over to the bed with a finger. He walked over in a sultry manner, and as the distance between us closed once more, I felt up his body, admiring every bit of muscle as I made my way down.

I took him by the waistband, and pulled him onto the bed, resting my body right beside him, able to feel every breath hit me, as his heartbeat pounded against his chest. It was a singular second of peace, we both knew where things would go from here, but in this moment, we were just laying by each other, without a care in the world.

The feeling was nice, but I decided it was finally time to take this to the next level. I moved our bodies closer to each other, and took his face into my hands, laying a light kiss on his lips. He took this for exactly what it was and returned the favor. With that, things heated up faster and faster.

After I initiated things, Cody truly let loose, our hands taking off what little clothes remained on the other's body. His dick, as if it was waiting to be released, bounced up from his underwear, and as I noticed, I could only laugh. "You really wanted this, didn't you?" I asked. "More than you could even imagine," he responded. Instead of taking off his underwear immediately, I teased his prominent bulge, guiding my hands up and down, and was met with a deep sigh in response. Taking a hand to his chest, I moved my hands down, taking deliberate slow care to every point on his chest, to which Cody took my arm to guide me further down once more.

Now noticing the position he had me in, Cody quickly took control, shifting my body under his, and taking my wrists in his hands, a steely stare meeting my eyes. Once again, there was hesitation, as he assessed what to do. Taking advantage of this, I asked with a chuckle, "What? You didn't think you'd get this far?" Instead of a response, however, my words were met with a sudden kiss, his lips pressing into mine, hard. The intensity of the kiss sent a flash throughout me, and his bulge now pressed against my thigh, as if it was waiting for permission to be let out. As a flurry of emotion came over me, I could only muster a single response.

"I'm all yours."

He moved like a man possessed, laying hot kisses throughout my neck, and moved my thigh up, in a moment, he moved down and began eating me out. His tongue worked expertly, and I could only moan in response, pleasure surging throughout me. A fire came over his eyes, as he knew he had me exactly where he wanted me. With a flourish, he took off his underwear, and his cock was finally freed. I gawked at his size, unaware that someone's dick could be that big.

I took the initiative, taking it in my hands and jerking him off. It was now his turn to respond with a low grunt, his deep voice bucking against the pleasure he felt. Taking things into his hands once more, he grabbed the lube from his dresser, and wet his cock. As his tip entered me, I felt a wave of heat overcome me, as my body responded to him entering me.

Soon, he was fully thrusting into me, his cock filling me up entirely. Shocks of pleasure strike through me as he continued fucking me, with me only being able to make small moans, each thrust silencing me again. We fucked for what seemed like hours, trying each and every position. Each time I thought we were done, he would cum again, setting the cycle anew once more. Load after load filled me up, and soon I became numb, after being fucked to my limit. Cody, still full of energy, kept going. I found myself wanting to keep going, for him, and didn't want this moment to end.

I felt as if the world around me was blacking out, with my only focus being Cody's warm face, laying kisses all over me as he continued pounding me. In one final thrust, I was sent to true climax, and everything became hazy. Cody's voice would be the thing to break the fog. I focused on his words with his voice being a familiar sound to my ears.

"I'm addicted to you, did you know that?" He asked.

On the verge of blacking out, I replied,

"I always did."

[linksqueerawakening]

something i didnt realize until (relatively) recently is that the yiga in BOTW steal peoples faces. once i met a yiga and chuckled bc his face was so small for his head, and it stuck in my head. then a few irl days later i was wandering around and came across a merchant on the road and froze bc. it was the exact same guy! but this one had a name, not just unlabeled as "traveler" or something the way yiga are when you talk to them. and he was just a normal friendly npc

after that i started paying attention and realized that pretty much all of the disguised yiga along the roads in botw are using actual NPCs you can meet as their disguise. usually traveling merchants

ive been thinking about the implications for like a month now. like. can they not make their own original hylian designs? is the spell limited to only copying someone else? is the same thing going on in TOTK, or am i just not noticing it happening bc there are so many more NPCs wandering around so its harder to remember them all? if they arent copying people in TOTK, is it bc they only learned how to make new faces in the interim between the two games, or is it just that theyre copying people that link cant run into? we know there are more people in hyrule than the ones we see; several gerudo in BOTW mention their husbands who live in some other locations outside of gerudo town, presumably in homesteads outside of any town? but close enough that the married vai can reasonably send their money home and ya know. spend time with the guy they spent so much time hunting down. are some of those unseen husbands being impersonated by the yiga clan? are there more prisoners like the ones forced to make clothes in TOTK that are being kept for their faces? or have they just improved the spell? or am i just unobservant and they ARE copying NPCs we meet, and my memory is just bad? do any of the BOTW merchants know they were being impersonated? if they saw a yiga disguised as them, would they even know it IS a magical face-stealing assassin, or would they come to the far more plausible explanation that they have a coincidental look-alike or long-lost twin?

the one question i dont have is "why mainly traveling merchants?" bc quite frankly that just makes sense. someone that goes to and from settlements and stables, a face thats familiar enough to let in, to not question why theyre on the road, but not so familiar as to notice any out of character behaviors. it might just be the smartest bit of critical thinking ive seen on the yigas part, though i suppose theres always a chance they didnt think that hard about it. they could very well have just gone with the people they see a lot in their own travels between settlements and targets

[gwenthebard]

Random Basic Hair Care Advice

I realized recently that a lot of people, especially trans women, arent actually taught basic hair care and it made me want to write some stuff ive learned

If you're someone that uses a dandruff shampoo consistently because of itching havw someone check that it isnt product buildup. If you use too much product/dont wash it out all the way it can get stuck and cause itch and stuff that looks like dandruff

For most people you dont need to use shampoo everytime. If you have medium hair or longer? Shoot for no more than three times a week. If youre trying to help curl health shampoo even less

For curly hair if youre trying to get healthy curls only use shampoo when your roots start to feel a little oily. Bristle brushes can draw this out, but thats more advanced hair care and more maitenance

You should use conditioner more often than you use shampoo, but not every day. If you use shampoo three times a week, condition five. If you use shampoo twice a month, use it three or four times a week.

If you have medium hair or longer DONT apply Conditioner like shampoo. Get a small amount of conditioner, only apply it to the hair below your nose working it in deeply, and let it sit for a few minutes before washing it out

DONT dry your hair in the stereotypical "rub a towel on your hair" way if your hairs medium length or longer. You can squeeze it damp with a towel, and air dry or blow dry, but you dont want to create a lot of friction or itll cause frizz

If you can braid your hair and have long hair do it before bed. If you cant, putting it in a ponytail before bed still helps. Itll make it less frizzy and less knotted in the morning

Hairbrushes can be really bad for your hair, not counting bristle brushes which are more advance haircare. If your hairs straight theyre fine, but if its wavy or curly you want to use them rarely. I usually only use a hairbrush once a week and before a shower because I have lightly curled hair

Using a wide toothed comb or your fingers is pretty much fine for working out knots and styling your hair, and actually healthier for it than a plastic brush most of the time. The problem is its not as effective at catching knotting, youll need to do it like two or three times a day, and youll want to be vigilant to catch knotting turning to matting. Youll alsp want to still occassionally use a hair brush just to make sure none are forming

If your brushing your hair, with a hairbrush or otherwise, DONT start at the scalp. Start a few inches from the bottom of your hair and work up to your ears. Brush your hair in sections up to your ears each time. Finish off doing your scalp and take it slow. DONT try brushing a knot all the way out in one go. Brush until you feel resistance, go a little back up, brush it back down. A knot at the back of your hair will take a while to brush out without breaking stuff, because youll want to slowly work it down and out

Once or twice a year while growing out your hair youll want to get someone to cut off dead and split ends. Itll make your hair look less frizzy and make it grow out better

If your hairs matted because you were depressed or sick its not the end of the world. You can get the matts out, and probably save most of your hair. Smaller matts, at the back of your head or otherwise, you can get a friend to help you work out with some tutorials and basic supplies and time. More matted hair you can call salons or hairdressers and ask if they will help with that sort of thing

I'm definitely missing some things, and I'm still on the journey of learning these things myself so someone might have better advice than what I wrote above, but this helped me a lot and is the sort of thing I think a lot of people trying to care for longer hair should know

[crypticemerald]

I've got nothing to post right now so have my oc, hes part of a subdivision of smaller iterators (in the sense of robot-like creatures) able to think of themselves (but are mobile) aka Operators :D

more rambling about Operators below :)

Operators serve as a way to persue small tasks between closeby groups, created during gen 2 of Iterators they serve as a ''fix it all'' having a set manual encoded in them which provides them with the necessary tools to fend for themselves and geolocate closeby structures which provide energy.

Being off the strings for them it means that they function off few neurons which they carry inside their body (which keeps them alive and stores some necessary stuff + recently given commands + records important events during their travels from one facility to the other). They recharge via a chargeble battery installed in their system by connecting it to anything remotely mechanical, such as shelters, karma gates (which they are able to access unless theyre karmically imbalanced or arent given permission to), communication stations/arrays and so on.

They do not have a great memory, they work on a limited one when off-field and when they reach the closest iterator they will connect to their structure, offering a scan of their can and offering to solve any issues they are able to fix within it, but most important they will empty their memory (think of outside storage) in order to recieve a new command/order/task. Their main purpose is to serve under the rules of the ancients and help with upkeeping iterator groups local to them or following their orders which may change from anything such as pearl collection, transferring data, rearranging faulty memory conflux structures, eliminate any threatening bodies to their host iterator can and so on!

[cough, if they find mobile rot even if their host iterator tells them not to kill it they will go on the violent route to eliminate the rot or mold]

Greatly respectful of ancients and senior iterators they will greatly follow orders given by seniors and other iterators, doing small tasks for them and serving low range messenger/support friend if you will. They are shorter than most iterators (with my guy being shorter than five pebbles) but more resistant and resilient than the mid iterator puppet plus a lot stronger!

Usually theres anywhere between none to five in groups, depending on their size and how old they are.

IDK they have some sort of weapon which they probably either carry around or its part of their design, mine has claws.

Their main rules are:

-follow iterator wishes

-ensue their safety

-dont mess with the enviroment (less prone to violence towards organic creatures)

ABOUT MY OC TE HEE

Ordinary Maintenances is under Chronicler of Methologies (an archivist iterator which belongs to @nemofil and they work under pearl collection duty most of the time, why most of the time?

Scavengers think of Ordinary Maintenance as a very very shiny object, so they trade him around until he menages to actually get up and leave their premises which is sadly not that successful. Seeing as Chronicler is quite a pacifist and feel bad about Scavenger he will often do nothing (not as he can do it) about it, leaving often time OM being traded around for shiny stuff.

Im not sure how i wanna kill them off but oh well, hes quite the resistant one, surviving through an iterator attacking them, being a chewtoy sometimes on sundays, and witnessing some pretty violent scav conflicts hes quite the silliest :)

stay in pieces chronicler, may you be loved by him as yk bros do (/j)

[whatthefishh]

FROM THE PROMPT LIST!!!!

can i get 4 with any of the TF boys. Prefernce to Benny or Frankie rn bc they are consuming my thoughts all day all night lately but whoever ur feeling!!!

Prompt: “My God,” Character A whispers, brushing a strand of hair from Character B’s face; hears the distinct hitch of breath. “You’re so dense,” Character A says. “I’m not… I’m not dense,” Character B breathes out, leaning into Character A’s touch.

Frankie x fem reader, just fluff with a smooch

S/o to my moots who helped offer some much needed terrible date experience to this and some frankie-ness

Frankie was your best friend. You were there for him when he was having a hard time readjusting to normal civilian life, driving him around before he was able to get his own car, hell he even stayed with you for a few weeks when he first got back.

Frankie was also there for you, like that time you didn’t want to go to the dentist alone. He didn’t make you feel like you needed him to, claiming you might need a ride back in case they gave you too much freezing. But he knew. He knew you were anxious by the way you couldn’t stop biting your lip, the way you were wringing your hands. He didn’t say anything about it on the drive over but instead played your favourite songs to try and get you to sing along.

More recently, Frankie had been there for you after a particularly bad date. You’d been mopey since your last breakup, friends pushing you to go out with a guy, any guy they’d said, just to get yourself back out there. So you did.

“Oh," he had said, with clear disdain. "You have cats?"

"Yeah, two," you show him the picture of your fur babies, your smile dying at his tone.

"Why do their eyes look like that?"

"Like what?"

"You know, creepy."

"They're not creepy!"

"They're glowing in the picture, that's pretty creepy!"

"That's what happens when you use flash, you know that right?"

Not wanting the fitted dress you wore to go to waste, you texted Frankie on your way out of the disaster date to join you for drinks.

You: wyd rn?

You: quickkkk

🐟: arent you on a date?

You: change of plans, meet me at Taps

🐟: ???

🐟: Ok be there in 15

When you walked in, Frankie gave you one look and shook his head. He bit his lip, ran a hand down his face in defeat and smiled at you.

“You wore that dress for him? And he still blew it?” Shaking his head even further at the thought, he couldn’t help but laugh. “Idiot.”

Frankie always knew how to make you feel better. There’s a reason why you called him, after all.

“Yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking. Clearly, I don’t know how to date anymore,” you admitted with a huff.

Joining him at the high table he was at, you shrugged off your jacket, giving Frankie ample time to check you out without you noticing. Unbeknownst to you, he was actually relieved when you called so soon after your supposed date time. The small part of him that held out a tiny flame for you, the part that loved making you smile, the part that wanted to be the reason you got dressed up, the part that wanted to ravage you six ways to Sunday, was aggressively clawing at the mental cage it was usually kept in.

“Well-“ he started.

“Can I get you two anything?” The server interrupted whatever Frankie was about to say.

He was quick to recover and smoothly ordered your usual drink orders and some fries to munch on as he didn’t know how hungry you were after abandoning your date. The stark contrast to your horrible encounter with the guy off the dating app had you pausing to look at him in wonder.

“What?” he asked, confusion evident.

“Nothing, I just didn’t know how predictable I was.”

“You’re not predictable, I just know what you like,” his eyes softened at the end of his sentence. There’s a look in his eyes you can’t quite place and a tightness in your chest at his comment.

Well, he should know what you liked, you’ve spent more than enough time together for him to have figured it out by now. And to be fair, you knew his usual order, too, and have picked up his favourite takeout on your surprise drop ins.

“So, tell me what this guy did that pissed you off so much you couldn’t even make it through dessert.”

So you did, much to his amusement.

“It’s funnier now but I’m telling you, it was so awkward!”

You were glad that you could laugh about it with him, the mirth in his eyes contagious as the two of you get lost in a fit of giggles again. Humming as you munched on a fry, you look back up to see Frankie just watching you with an unreadable gaze.

“What? Is there something on my face?”

“I just like looking at you.”

You felt the heat rising to your face and suddenly your drink looks entirely too interesting.

“Frankie…”

“Can I look at you some more? Please, querida? You look really nice.” He reaches out to brush some of your hair back that had fallen into your face. You make a noise, somewhere in between shock and confusion and look at him wide eyed.

“My God,” Frankie whispers, hears the distinct hitch of your breath. “You’re so dense,” he says as he settles his hand against your cheek.

“I’m not… I’m not dense,” you breathe out, leaning into his touch.

You’re certain he can hear your heart thundering in your chest as he slowly inches towards you. He definitely heard your breath hitch and he’s looking at you and looking at you with his soft brown eyes and oh-

“Can I? I’ve been really wanting to. Can I?” Frankie is staring at your lips as he mumbles this, effectively silencing you.

Your mouth stupidly opens and closes a few times, trying to figure out if he means what you think he means before you nod, finding yourself staring at his mouth now.

His lips are gentle, soft against yours when he finally closes the distance between you two. The hand on your cheek angling your face upwards towards his to better mold your lips together, deepening the kiss while you gasp at the intoxicating feeling. Frankie takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, sliding hotly against your own and groaning at the taste of you.

Pulling back for air, you’re both panting, foreheads resting against each other but you’re too shy to look at him just yet.

“Was that-“

Before he’s able to finish asking you if that was okay - which was such a stupid question on its own, you’d have to tease him about that later - you surge forward to fuse your lips together again, effectively cutting him off.

You’ll show him it was more than okay.

[subspaceskater]

Do you have any celeste mod recs? My friend finished Farewell a while back and I feel like she'd enjoy chewing on some more fun level designs.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay i love questions. i'm gonna go through some basic stuff before i get into my personal recs.

so if she hasn't done any modding at all then the first step is installing the modloader. it has all the information you'll need on now to do that https://everestapi.github.io/

don't worry about downloading dependencies when you get the mods, when you launch the game through the modloader it'll go through and download all the dependencies you're missing.

then go here to find map mods. there's all kinds of other mods on the site but those are to be applied per taste so i shan't recommend them. https://gamebanana.com/mods/cats/6800?

what i did at first was just kind of sort it by most downloaded or most liked and then just read the descriptions for the top ones and downloaded whatever i liked the sound of. there's a lot of good mods out there and the scene is just getting bigger and bigger!

there's also the celeste modding central youtube which has trailers for things and is a good way to find mods that maybe came out recently https://www.youtube.com/@CelesteModdingCentral

another thing to do is just like pay attention to difficulty levels on the mods.

beginner levels are usually a-side to early b-side difficulty

intermediate are late b-side, most c-sides, and some of farewell

advanced are around or higher than the difficulty of the hardest farewell and c-side maps and will often introduce mechanics that arent in the vanilla game but aren't too difficult to perform if you've already cleared farewell

expert is above all vanilla difficulty and will introduce mechanics that are hard to do! lots of scary shit here. but very cool looking maps. i havent really finished any expert mods but i've been able to clear a few rooms in the ones i've tried/the ones in collabs.

grandmaster is above everything else. this is where you go when you're bored of expert or really wanna do sicko shit. it's cool.

however it's also important i think to play maps that are below the difficulty level you can complete. because a lot of them are fun! and cute! and just because you can clear it in one try with no deaths doesnt mean you won't enjoy the experience. a lot of them have really cute custom art or music or custom mechanics and they're completely worth it.

now i'll put my actual recs under a cut

of course i'll just start by saying the 2020 spring collab is maybe the most well known mod because it is so fucking good. this is a great place to start and a great place to just have a big mod with a bunch of maps in it that you can complete without digging for a ton of things.

the strawberry jam collab, secret santa 2022, and secret santa 2023 are also all really good. the second two have lots of in jokes between modders that i dont really get because i only really play mods without being involved with the scene but that doesn't detract from them being fun to play.

i will say that my biggest gripe with collab packs is that sometimes there will just be a level in one that i hate. never like a bad level but just something that is antithetical to what I enjoy in a map! and it feels a little bad to be like "no i'm not fucking doing this" and just ignore one map in a floor and then not be able to do the big combination map at the end. but it's fine. maybe you aren't as whiny of a bitch as i am.

glyph is a huge one that a lot of people love. it has a bunch of really cool stuff. cannot recommend glyph enough. it has its own b-sides.

into the jungle is a custom campaign the ramps up in difficulty starting from where 7-A was.

rupture is really good. short intermediate mod with 16 rooms.

lucy's summit is a fun beginner difficulty summit remix. (a kind of mod that just sticks to vanilla level theming.)

cosmic sands is a short intermediate map with some fun mechanics i enjoyed a lot

sentimental is a 10 room intermediate map with some cool secrets

and nutty noon :) kirby.

that's probably enough recommendations.

[sugar-omi]

it would be really nice if you could put a little note before your rambles if you're going to make the "reader" a girl. you've always been very inclusive in the past, its just not very pleasant to be reading stuff when you're in a not-great headspace, and you expect it to be gender neutral because your writing usually is, but then you get jumpscared by that. not trying to be rude, its just an unfortunately common pet peeve for gender diverse people reading fanfics and i thought you'd understand

I'm sorry you're not in a great headspace, I get it. I've been there.

and I do try to tag it somewhere, especially if it's a long ramble or if it's not obvious in someone's ask that it's clearly (or at least to me) fem/afab aligned. but I suppose I should make more effort into putting that small tag somewhere.

regardless of that though, even if it's not your intention, this is very rude. it seems like you're blaming me for your bad feelings and it's very upsetting. I'm not sure what triggered this message, if it's a build-up from previous posts or because of recent posts. but while I understand, this still feels very rude.

I try to be accommodating all the time. I try to be accommodating in majority of my posts, even if they're afab or amab reader because I know people use different pronouns. I'm agender, and have used he/him pronouns for years, and exclusively used he/him at one point. and at times it was upsetting to have to consciously ignore she/her pronouns or feminine terms when i was feeling particularly *insecure (*for lack of better word)

but this is not my job. I write for fun. and i try to be accommodating because i want to have fun with everyone, sharing good stories and talking about games and such.

I have many, many works, that are gender neutral, and even a few amab/masc reader fics.

but the "I thought you'd understand" is crazy to me. I'm sorry you're having a tough time, again, I've been there. but i am one person. I'd like to, and will write gender specific stuff.

and sometimes, I rely on you guys to read someone's ask (since that's all I've been responding to for months now) and figure out if the post will be gender specific. especially since we've been talking abt pregnancy or raw sex, or breeding kinks a lot for awhile now.

but still, you're right. I should tag it.

and im sorry if reading whatever post it was, made you feel worse. but it's not my job to cater to everyone. I can only do so much. and to me, it's disrespectful of me to make something gender neutral when someone (clearly) wants it gender specific.

please don't try and guilt me for writing gender specific posts. when I make damn near every post on this blog gender neutral/inclusive.

I don't have time or energy to make sure of that. and even if I did, I am not obligated. I appreciate you reading my work thus far, and I thank you for the support. sharing my work and having others enjoy it brings me great joy.

I try to make things inclusive, but it's quite frankly mentally tiring for me to do that all the time.

even though you say you arent tryna be rude, i find this to be very entitled the way you speak beyond the "please tag" point. please do not blame me for your feelings. I will make a conscious effort to tag it from now on, since I'm sure others would like the heads up too. I usually just leave it off since sometimes I expect it to be obvious based on the prompt. but I don't know anymore, maybe I'm wrong.

next time, please leave it at "hey, can you tag your ramblings if they're going to be afab" or whatever.

[thestobingirlie]

I love reading fics where Steve is disabled, be it hard of hearing, seizures, chronic migraines, like he's had too many concussions not to have any issues from it. (I think its because I have a neurological disability and Steve is my comfort character, so projecting.)

But something that really gives me the ick is I've noticed a lot more ST fic recently have been handling disabled characters in a really ableist way (100% not all, just noticed more) and quite often they're just infantilising the disabled characters. I've noticed this the most when Steve is disabled, because I mostly read Steve-centric fics, but I have also noticed it with Robin and Eddie.

I've been seeing a lot of other characters addressing Steve and Robin as if they were toddlers when they are written as disabled, in ways that no adult should speak to anyone who is over the age of 5. Especially when Steve is written in a post-seizure state, or Robin is having a panic attack. Like, they might not be fully aware, but they are not children.

Sometimes, its other characters treating Steve as if he is incapable of doing anything on his own if he is disabled. As if the only things he can do without constant supervision is lie in bed or sit on a couch and watch tv. I saw one fic where others scolded him for getting out of bed to go to the bathroom without asking for help, and it wasn't as if he was recently injured or fresh out of a seizure, he was in pretty good health aside from being at risk of seizures.

With Robin, I've seen her written as if she needs to be treated like a fragile 2 year old otherwise she is in a constant state of panic attack and is always totally useless, and I've seen people use this sort of attitude to write her out of the high stress situations. Or she will just always go off on unrelated tangents so she isn't useful because she interrupts the people who know what they're talking about. Or she's written as if her rambling is a liability and she can't be trusted because if she got caught she'd 100% tell the bad guys everything.

And with Eddie I've noticed some people who write him as autistic (I love autistic and ADHD Eddie) seem to have him just constantly biting people like he is a nonverbal three-year-old who has figured out that their easiest way to communicate is by using their teeth. And it always with the attitude "it doesn't matter if he hurts people by biting them because it is his method of self-regulating."

(And no, I do NOT accept the billy stans who claim that it is ableist to talk about the bad things he's done. like, no that man is not canonically disabled (I've seen billy stans say he is canonically bipolar or has bpd? Like no.), he is canonically racist and abusive. even if he was canonically disabled that isn't an excuse for his behavior. also, I know people that have bipolar or bpd, and they arent racist and abusive. in fact they are some of the most careful people about what they can control of their behavior because they are worried about becoming abusive to their loved ones).

sorry this is really disjointed and probably doesn't make much sense but I just needed to get it off my chest. and I just love your blog!

and i love you, random tumblr user! but yeah, always feel free to just drop thoughts into my inbox, i’ll try and sort through them lmao

i enjoy reading fics where steve’s injuries have repercussions too. though it definitely isn’t always written well.

i think because the duffers ignore his injuries so much, people kinda go into hyperdrive and over-acknowledge them, almost. i think it also comes from wanting steve to be as angsty as possible, which means people don’t treat his disability’s very… nicely? they usually just use his conditions to ruin his life and make him miserable, and infantilise him, like you said.

i honestly think people just know fuck all about seizures, and cannot be bothered to look it up, but still want steve to experience them so they can make him as sad and depressed as possible.

they see seizures as this, like, life-ending condition, and so use them to kinda destroy steve’s life.

i think a lot of people also use his disabilities to get steve cared for, because we all want people to take care of the poor boy. but again, they just over-do it, and make it seem like he’s a little baby that can’t do anything.

i honestly don’t think most of these people are doing this from a place of harm. i think they honestly want to depict steve experiencing these things and being comforted etc. they’re just kinda ignorant.

i am very lucky that i haven’t seen fics that treat robin like that, because i honestly think i’d explode lol.

and yeah, the biting thing was kinda funny at first, and then it got kinda weird… people just see a fandom joke and do what fandoms always do, which is drag it out, and make it so extreme it’s barely recognisable as the original idea.

(yeah, with no character should you excuse their actions with a mental illness. like, billy’s abuse explains why he is the way he is, but it doesn’t excuse it. even when you have a mental illness you can’t just use that as an excuse to treat people like crap, and they’re entitled to call you out for doing so.)

[cpunkwitch]

happy disability pride month

[id: image on the right is a flag with a dark grey background, a dusty rainbow diagonally going across it from the bottom left corner going up to the right and two dark grey circles in the middle of the image one smaller in the middle of the other. the mage in the middle is a green uerbox with the flag on the right and white text reading "this user wants people to understand that living with a physical disability in this world today is a waking nightmare". the image on the left is the same flag as on the right. :end id]

i want to talk about chronic pain. might make more posts similar to this one for other things but right now lets discuss chronic pain.

Chronic Pain Syndrome, aka Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), is a broad classification of prolonged pain typically outside injuries or outside the usual timeframe for pain caused by injuries.

there are plenty of things listed under chronic pain like arthritis, back pain, fibromyalgia and more, however not everyone realizes what they have is chronic pain.

chronic pain is not about how bad the pain is, how much it hurts nor about how consistent it is, its about how long it goes on for.

if youre feeling pain for days on end in some area, thats chronic pain if youre feeling pain for a while after every time you try to do something with a limb (ex. lifting causes pain that stays all day and even the next day, getting up in the morning causes pain that lasts etc), thats chronic pain

if the pain goes on and off but still lasts a while when its there thats still chronic pain, it doesnt have to be consistent with how it lasts but pain that lasts longer than it should is chronic pain.

i always have pain in my spine when i get up in the morning, stand too long, walk or just be on my feet too long, lift heavy things etc and that pain lasts at least till the next day but usually much longer. strained muscles and exhaustion, soreness and aches are normal after activities but if they last longer than a day that isnt normal.

if someone tells you prolonged pain after doing something even mildly strenuous on your body is normal pain, they dont know what they're talking about and likely experience chronic pain themselves and no ones told them.

chronic pain can be caused by injuries, by conditions you were born with or gained over time. i was born with a defect in my spine thats caused me back pain, jaw pain, headaches and more for years and i only found out about it rather recently.

chronic pain can cause exhaustion and even be accompanied by chronic fatigue more often than not. it can cause you to need longer breaks and rest and avoid usage of your arms or legs or avoid further strenuous activity more than an abled person would need.

often any pain that causes you to avoid usage of your body isnt normal. pain that flares up after you move, be active or arent active enough isnt normal

pain that lasts longer than it should and pain that is always there after doing something is not normal and more likely than not, a sign of chronic pain.

a lot of people wont realize they have chronic pain unless they discuss their symptoms with someone who knows about chronic pain or understands that those symptoms arent normal pain. its okay to not realize or know something about your body, thinking it was normal then being told it isnt, its better to learn these things about your body, listen to your body and accommodate it than remaining ignorant and not doing any of that.

everyone's experience of chronic pain is different, not one experience will be the same as another or fit in a box, but they all have the similarity of their pain lasting longer than it should, however that presents.

the pain doesnt have to be excrutiating, there are days where it can just be dull and manageable, times where its just sharp and stabbing meaning you need to take it easy and so on. any manner of pain no matter how manageable or fierce, lasting longer than it should, is counted for chronic pain.

your knee pain flares up and stays in pain (regardless if its gone from fire to a dull ache) for the next few days or longer? chronic pain. your wrist has been in pain for a week and this happens often? chronic pain.

it doesnt matter where on your body, pain is pain and prolonged pain is chronic.

theres ways to make it more manageable, so long as you listen to your body and care for it. ice packs or hot showers/baths and anti-inflammatory meds can bring down swelling and relax the muscles, for example. you might find different things work for you and different pain you have, thats fine! not everything suggested might work for everyone.

not everyone has the ability to see a doctor but its important to try and talk to one if you can. and its okay to change doctors if you have any issues with your current one, especially if they arent listening to you.

its important to know your bodies limits as well, and to try not to push yourself past them unless you absolutely have to. dont let anyone pressure you into doing so. pain becomes more manageable once you understand your limitations.

feel free to add on tips and stuff about your experience with chronic pain! but please note im not a doctor and cannot diagnose you all i can tell you is what your symptoms sound like to me and suggest things for you to look into.

POST IS ABOUT CHRONIC PAIN AND PHYSICAL DISABILITY, DO NOT DERAIL.

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[ravenbloodshot]

fr thats why i have mixed feelings on kpop even after being a fan of a few groups and as much as we are being forced to hear about kpop groups everywhere, like we cant escapr their constant promotions they arent helping western artists if anything theyre trying to overule america. do u think itll ever calm down? i mean the groups are literally everywhere. on every brwnd name there is and most normal folk like myself cant usually afford to constantly buy expensive merch nor tour the country just to watch new groups do the same thing as other groups.

if kpop was less about quantity i think it would intruige me more to get back into it but its become overboard in recent years and prices are going up on almost everything. so if i were to even go and see one group lets say ateez in london, it would probs cost me 300-400 maybe more quid as a whole trip. when you add ticket, hotels, merch, lightsticks, those round picture banner things, hotels, train or plane tickets. music is becoming less accessible by the days. i do feel bad for new groups cause bts and blackpink hoarded the spotlight for yonks now other groups are coming abroad and its sometimes hit or miss if i like their songs. for example i prefer ateez to skz music but i still wouldnt justify investing so much to go and see them if their only venue is maybe wembley and or glasgow or wherever they tour.

i feel like groups are so detached or almost out of touch with themselves and what they expect from their fans and listeners or even general music groups. didnt surprise me that ateez were chosen for coachella, blackpink had already done it for gg's that didnt surprise me either. but how is people who have their own lifestyle to afford going to afford kpop investment? we all know the shitty seats are the cheapest but its still a no from me. sighhhh entertainment generally shouldnt be this difficult. i have similar issued with football and frankly its eventually off putting like i want to like something, do i like it? for a while then comes the huge costs it takes to really be into the groups or clubs or other forms of entertainment.

🤷‍♀️

I've never bought a kpop album in my life. I've never bought an album of anyone's whatsoever. What's the point when one can just listen to it for free on YouTube/Spotify?

But, yeah. It's all overpriced, reused concepts and albums. Ateez makes pretty good music imo, Stray kids music isn't my taste so I also agree with you on that.

Thanxx, Fireworks, Guerilla, Bouncy, Rocky etc.... Ateez put out that fire, their new comeback is a miss though

The only song I like by stray kids is Lee know's and Bangchan's song "Drive"

[legendarceus]

can you tell me more about your pokemon horizons OC, Cadence? I really like their design and they're cool :]

YES OFC :D !!

their role on the airship is to keep track of where they're going and to make maps of the places the crew has been which specifc labels pertaining to the people on the ship rather than for worldwide understanding. they also double up as the bookkeeper ! i vaguely mentioned it in the other post about them but like. half of their wallspace is just bookshelves. and they also have one of those sliding ladders :) oh and they do have like a library system. you do have to check out books and return them once you're done. the books are for the whole ship after all. they're really strict on that policy and they emphasize it a lot when they meet new people who join the crew on the ship for an extended period of time which makes them seem kinda :/. doesnt help that they look tired due to limitde amounts of sleep (damn you perfectionist with making maps)

on the brightside they get a lot more approachable when they smile, which. doesnt happen much because like. visually they arent great at expressing stuff but it DOES happen, especially when theyre like mapping out constellations or talking about space and stuff. i realize i only drew them frowning or being neutral in the previous post WHOOPS,, i swear theyre not upset all the time. again just not great at facial expressions.

they're kinda indifferent to liko and roy once they join the team honestly. they don't MIND having them around but they'd prefer to be alone at first imo, at least until they manage to either 1. warm up (takes a while) or 2. infodump (which they can do fairly easily if given a proper oppurtunity to). they end up befriending the two by the second option after roy asks about the stars at one point or something lmao

speaking of that they kinda?? don't get social cues that well?? i mean kinda. it's mostly in like situations where there will be a massive fight with like people with malicious intent or something. they understand that those people want to attack them and stuff but they just. they don't get it. because of that they'll end up giving out lots of information (usually about really unimportant things) but it gets... its like. candence what are you doing. they're not our friends. and they know that but like ... wdym. they said something slightly incorrect about our current location i have to fix their mistake. they do not take things as threats until its too late and that will ultimately probably be their downfall

their pokemon. their ace is a milotic (the pokemon they fight alongside, the one whos usually out and hanging around, etc.) which they recieved as a feebas when they were young. only evolved recently. their other two pokemon, lunatone and solrock, are pokemon they've gotten to help around in their little space on the ship if that makes sense (like, organizing books and maps and whatnot) and they usually never leave their room :)

they're also like. 19. so theyre younger than the adults but older than the kids and theyre in the weird grey area which blehh. working through the issues that come with being fresh into adulthood or something. except i have no damn clue about that so just trust or something idk whoops

if you have like any specfifc questions i would love to answer them so!! i like talking about my ocs (too bad cadence is the only one i have posted rip)

heres some doodles !

[tojisun]

Sorry it turned into a depressing rant

Anon who asked about your fav studio ghibli movie here!

I love howls moving castle so much, I love the part when Sophie starts cleaning the house, I love how comforting it is

I love the sass from everyone, I love how kind Sophie is

I love howls line “I see no point in living if I can’t be beautiful” as much as it sucks I agree with him. I’m not smart so the only thing I can offer is my looks and personality to people I meet. If I’m not beautiful, then what’s the point? Sorry if it sounds shallow but when you have nothing to offer in this world, the only thing I can work on is how good I look and present myself. I know I shouldn’t think like that, it’s damaging

Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder, there will be people who find you attractive and there will be people who won’t. People you find attractive, others won’t, so sometimes I try not to think too much about it since we never know.

All my life I’ve been slow academically. My siblings are all smarter than me so I’m always the dumb one. I’m not skinny but I’m working on it, even tho it’s so hard, but I have to be skinny, my life will definitely turn around when I’m not too self conscious about my body. I know I’ll still have those negative thoughts and even after I’m skinny I won’t be happy but, as of now, I never leave the house, my anxiety about how I look keeps me from taking in person classes. I never want to leave the house unless I look good, because I don’t want anyone seeing me at my worst, I want everyone to see me as the best version of myself. So I never leave, my social skills have tanked since 2020 since that was the last time I took a in person class, and that was in high school 😭😭

I feel so immature and stupid, and people my age (19) are doing better than me. I just give up before I even try, and I’m so behind since I’m in my third year of college and I still don’t have an official major, I’m so behind, and last semester I didn’t take any classes cuz I was so depressed and embarrassed, since I failed two classes. It’s an horrible cycle of pity and dread and I’m scared I’ll never get rid of it. And I’m scared of talking to men, but I’m supposed to get married and have a kid before I’m 30 since you’re more fertile and it’s better to have kids young, and I’d love that but I’m scared my kids will turn out like me, disappointments. And I won’t know how to fix them.

So yeah… we veered off of howls moving castle.. my bad💀

re:

!! this got long im so sorry

first of: pls dont apologize! u are welcome to vent here in my blog, im happy to just be a bouncing wall to u guys (if my usually long responses arent what u guys wanted to see). thank u for trusting me (us) with this and im truly sorry for how late im responding

i do love those parts of howls moving castle! i never understood why howl was lamenting about his looks when i thought he looked beautiful w orange hair. orange used to be my favourite colour ^v^ it isnt one rn but i am still fond of it.

i loved orange even when howl didnt – u are correct that beauty in the eye of the beholder. beauty also goes a long way. it’s a horrible reality but when u grew up fat, u get told so many times about how much better life would be if u could just lose weight. i truly cant tell u when i stopped thinking so little of myself.

honestly love, its just so recent when i felt good enough in my own skin – blemishes n all. i never thought itd get better tbh; i thought itd stay this way but it got better. and im scared to promise to you a range of when it will get better, but i do know that it will.

u feel immature bc u are still young! 19 is so young so pls dont punish urself for feeling young, for thinking young, for not knowing anything past being young yet. as a younger sibling, ik for a fact im still so immature. it took me getting a job (during the weekdays) n going to uni for me to mature up, n i was 20 when that happened. so recent!

i also completed my associates slowly bc i was struggling in college! i once took a sem where i only had one class bc i was so overwhelmed that i had to slowly pace myself so i can keep going. high school babies u n then boom, u get hit w juggling responsibilities in college that kinda makes u wanna quit – but u didnt. u took a break and then bounced back!! my love, if that isnt resilience, then what is?

ive never wanted to settle down. i think its bc i thought id be gone by now that i just dont see myself having a family of my own so i apologize for not knowing how to empathize about the ‘deadline’ but u are just 19. before age 30 is so far away! u have sm to live for in between those years. sm to experience and to meet and to love!

also, not having a major yet is also fine! i declared a minor just this year – and im a fourth year already. pls dont worry. u have time – that is something i wanna keep emphasizing. u have time. it feels like the world is collapsing rn bc of fear and anxiety which, my old therapist told me, is a sign that u (and i) wanna keep going. that u wanna keep living.

and from what i could see, especially coming from me who wanted to just give it all up, that is enough. i know that the reasons behind u working on urself isnt a sustainable mentality, but hopefully one day u will wake up and own ur hard work for urself. not for others.

aaaa this got too long im so sorry, im being emotional on my end but i just want u to know: u are not a disappointment. u arent.

ur alive and ur making connections and ur trying ur best (even though it doesnt feel like that on ur end but u are!!) so how could u be a disappointment? and even if u dont wanna do anything, ur also not a disappointment. not even then.

ur future kids will be so lucky and happy to have u as their mom. and they too will be beautiful; they wont need any fixing bc there isnt anything broken to fix.

i love you. i dont know who u are but i love you. i love all of you.