#more kaz who would’ve guessed

[madscientistreaction]

[pregnant-piggy]

The Trap

part one of THWARTED

Six of Crows x fem!reader

word count: 3.2k

summary: Someone keeps outsmarting Kaz Brekker, snatching his jobs right from under his nose, and he will not sit idly by and watch it happen. He sets a trap, but what he finds almost seems like too much trouble for its worth.

warnings: being knocked out, light panic, reader has killed someone (this series deals with quite a lot so let me know if i’ve missed anything!)

The doors of the Slat slammed open, but the anger was sizzling in Kaz’ ears and he didn’t even hear it. His leg was throbbing and he was leaning on his cane more than he liked but there was no time to dwell on it. There were bigger issues that needed to be taken care of. 

His eyes found the lanky sharpshooter he was looking for easily. “Jesper. Upstairs. Now.” 

Maybe Jesper was in the mood to obey or maybe he heard the barely contained anger behind Kaz’ voice, but he got up and followed without a word. 

Kaz limped up the three flights of stairs, his body protesting against every move. He’d barely slept in three nights while preparing for this job. He had taken care of everything—the plan had been faultless. And yet… 

Up in his office, Inej was already waiting, leaning against the wall. She shared a glance with Kaz, as if asking if she should stay. He gave a single nod. 

“Not that I don’t appreciate you calling me up here,” Jesper said as he stepped inside, “but I’m guessing it’s not to have a nice cup of tea?” 

Kaz sank down in his desk-chair. An almost imperceptible sigh slipped from his lips as he stretched his leg out and he caught Inej sending him a worried glance from the side but ignored her. This wasn’t the time for pity. 

“It happened again.” 

The vault had been empty. Nothing. Not even a trace of someone else having been there, but all that Kaz had wanted had been gone. 

Jesper whistled through his teeth. “What’s that now? The third time?” 

“How?” Inej asked. 

Kaz folded his hand together. That was the thing—he didn’t know how. Someone had been thwarting his plans and he could not for the life of him figure out how they did it. Or why. Why they only picked some of the hardest jobs while there were easier and more profitable undertakings they could have chosen. 

There was a pattern, Kaz was sure, but clouded by his vexation he couldn’t see it. The gambling den on East Stave. The store in the Exchange. The vault in the councilman’s office. Something was connecting those three workings but he didn’t know what. 

“We have to take different measures,” he said, ignoring Inej’ question. “Somehow, someone is aware of our plans and keeps beating us to them.” 

Jesper frowned. “Any idea who? That’d make shooting them a little easier.” 

“No one will be shooting anyone.” But at Jesper’s pout Kaz added, “Yet.” 

Hands already resting on his guns, Jesper flashed a smile. Then he turned grave. “Do you think it’s Rollins?” 

Kaz bit back the red haze of anger. “No,” he said. “No one would do this so silently unless they had something to hide. If Rollins had done this, the whole Barrel would’ve known. Besides, the Exchange job would be stealing from his own pocket. A whole lot of trouble for nothing.” 

“He’s too lazy for that,” Inej added. 

“So who then?” Jesper asked. 

“Yes, who then?” Kaz pulled out a map and let his finger wander down the streets of Ketterdam. “That’s what we’ll find out.” 

No one outsmarted the Bastard of Barrel, and they sure as hell wouldn’t attempt it from the shadows. If whoever was hindering him didn’t want to show their face, he’d put the spotlight on them himself. 

Inej and Jesper shared a glance. 

“Scheming face?” 

Inej nodded, stepping closer to the desk. “Most definitely.” 

Kaz gave his bad leg a stretch and rolled his shoulders. There’d be time to rest later. “Let’s set a trap, shall we?” 

-o-o-o-o-o-

You hid your face in the collar of your coat as a group of workers passed you. One of the men laughed loudly and you shrunk together even more, pulling your hat closer over your face. The men walked past you without taking notice, but you didn’t dare to breathe out until you’d turned the corner.

Between the constant stadwatch patrols and the dark, solid storehouses, the Warehouse District wasn’t exactly one of your favourite parts of the city. That it was the best secured place in Ketterdam also didn’t work in its favour. Not when you were there to steal something. 

At exactly eleven bells you turned into the street that served your destination. You glanced around, but there was only silent nighttime around you, and took your hat off. Keeping your hands in your pockets, feeling the lockpicks in one hand and the small handgun in the other, you walked until you reached the door under the third street light. 

Everything had almost been ridiculously easy. The man that had boasted about the cheque he’d gotten from his latest shipment had almost been too loud. When you’d checked whether the shipment was real it had almost gone too smoothly. And the street was almost too empty, too silent, too dark. 

But you needed the money and with the way you figured the man had earned it, it wouldn’t be too much of a loss if he never got to spend it. Honest work didn’t exist in Ketterdam and you really did not want to go back to living on the street. 

At the door, you dropped to your knees and let the lockpicks slip into your hands. If anyone were to walk by you could pretend the ties of your shoes had come loose, but the lock clicked before you’d seen anyone. After one last glance at the dark street, you slipped inside. 

The storehouse was no different from any of the other ones in the Warehouse District. You entered an entrance hall that was shielded from the vast space of the warehouse by wooden panels. On your left there was a table and some benches for the workers and in the darkness you could make out a discarded coat and a stack of newspapers. 

The silence of the warehouse gave you chills, but you shook them off. You were here for a simple thing and you’d be out quickly. It was easy, just like stealing those authenticity papers on the jurda shipment at the Exchange had been. 

But all sense of confidence left you as you saw the faint light coming from the office up in the corner of the storehouse. In a single move you had pulled the gun from your pocket and felt the dagger slip from your sleeve to your palm. 

You should turn around and leave—that was the sensible thing. But when had you ever been sensible?

Slowly you walked through the stockpiles, keeping your footsteps as soundless as possible. You could hear nothing, no voices, no movement, but the light shouldn’t be burning. The most fortuitous explanation would be that someone had left it on, but you’d learned the hard way that luck was only for those who could afford it. And, considering you were here to steal money, you clearly weren’t one of those.

At the bottom of the stairwell up to the office you halted and listened. There still was no sound. You crept up the stairs, glancing over your shoulder once you were halfway. From up there you could see the entire hall of the storehouse, but it was empty. 

You went on and at the top, you nudged open the door with your elbow, keeping both the gun and knife ready in your hands. The door opened with a squeak. 

There, on the desk in the middle of the office, stood a single lantern, illuminating the entire room. The rest was empty. With a relieved sigh, you stepped inside, lowering your weapons. 

“Wrong choice, darling.” 

The door closed. 

You spun around. 

There was a flash of silver before something hard hit your head and you went down. 

-o-o-o-o-o-

It was a trap. 

Of course it was. You should have realised that, but you’d been on a winning streak lately and you’d overestimated your own abilities. A little confidence had never hurt anyone, but this shouldn’t have happened. You couldn’t afford missteps. 

Your head hurt so much that you couldn’t open your eyes just yet. The pain spread from your left temple and it came in waves. 

Upon trying to move you found your wrist stuck in ropes and you tried not to panic. Apart from the pain in your head, you seemed unharmed and you tried to take relief from the fact that whoever had bound you at least hadn’t killed you. Yet. 

What if they had found you? Had they come for you like they had all those years ago?

Your breaths grew ragged and your chest felt like it was the part of your body bound with ropes. There was something acidic in the back of your throat, the sense burning behind your eyes. Your heart was pounding, sending the blood through your veins in wavering shocks. 

You needed to open your eyes. You needed to breathe. You needed to get loose. You needed out. 

Between your fits of panic you heard a door open and behind your eyelids you noticed the faint hue of light. In a reflex you opened your eyes and then quickly turned your head away. 

The room you were in was dark, but in the weak light you could see a stone floor and heaps of what you presumed was cotton. You told yourself to breathe. 

One step at a time. Eyes, breath, wrists. 

Once you had gathered your breath, your panic stilled. Instead, resolve filled you. You had seen worse situations, had lived through more danger—you could get out of this. And perhaps, you thought as you slightly lifted your gaze and caught two pairs of feet and the tip of a cane, there was even something to gain. 

It was time people paid their debts.

Eyes, breath, wrists. You took one final deep breath and looked up. The pain in your head was distracting but you bit it back. There was no time for weakness. As soon as your eyes landed on the person standing in front of you, you grinned. 

“Well, well, well. Kaz Brekker, as I live and breathe. To what do I owe the pleasure of being kidnapped by the Barrel’s bastard?” 

Kaz Brekker didn’t move a muscle as he stared at you. “Councilman Frederiksen recently lost his opal-inlaid family crest. It has disappeared from his vault, along with documents proclaiming his investment in the business of another esteemed councilman. Slootmaekers, I believe his name is.” He blinked. “Whoever has stolen the crest seems to have disappeared with it. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?” 

Brekker’s dark glare was piercing and you felt a shiver run down your spine. Out of all people that could have come for you, he was the last one you’d expected. But it did bring forth a fortunate opportunity. 

Maybe luck hadn’t given up on you after all.

“I’m afraid not.” 

“No, of course not. Let me try again. Maybe this will ring a bell: A week ago, a shipment of jurda came in from Novyi Zem. Quality stuff, rumoured to have been handpicked and to last longer than any other kind on the market right now.” 

You pursed your lips. “Sounds like a pricey investment.” 

“It was one. You can imagine the investor’s fury when he found out someone had stolen the papers declaring the jurda’s authenticity. Without those, not only did the jurda lose its value, so did the investor his credibility. Almost as if the thief had wanted that to happen. You do not, by any chance, know something of it, do you?” 

“Can’t say I do. But it sounds like an impressive job.” 

“I must admit that it was.” He flexed his gloved fingers on the head of his cane and you saw he was narrowing the edge of his composure. “Allow me to try one more time. Mr. Jim Albert. Ever heard that name before?” 

You froze. “What about him?” 

“Hm.” A ghost of a smile passed Kaz Brekker’s face. “He disappeared three weeks ago, right before he was supposed to meet new investors. I’d know, because I was one of them. We waited two hours but he never showed. The next day his body was found in his gambling den’s backalley.” 

The game was over and you had lost. You knew and so did Brekker. He tilted his head to the side and looked at you. “I suppose you don’t know anything about that either?” 

You started to laugh, simply because you didn’t know what else to do. 

“Very clever. The crest and jurda I would have left unclaimed easily, but” —you let your laugh die out— “Albert’s death is mine. And if you want an apology for your failed investment, I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint you.” 

Kaz raised an eyebrow. “I never expected it to pay off anyway, but I admit it would have liked some power after his bankruptcy. No, keep your apologies to yourself—I was curious as to why.” 

“I was trying to find a new hobby. Spice things up?” 

The person next to Brekker barked a laugh and you moved your gaze. “You’ve brought your loyal companion, I see.” You flashed a smile. “Jesper Fahey. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, although the circumstances under which would not have been my first choice.” 

“You know me?” Jesper asked. 

“I do my homework.” You looked around, silently noticing that you hadn’t left the Warehouse District, judging by the cotton storehouse around you. “So, now you know I stole the crest and documents, and I killed Albert. What do you want?” 

“I want to know why.” Brekker took one step closer. “You have cost me time and money, so you better make it worth it. Who do you work for?” 

“Work for?” you scoffed. 

“The Razorgulls? Black Tips? Did Geels hire you? Or is it Rollins?” 

The anger got to you before you could stop it. You surged forward with a snarl. If your hands hadn’t been bound, you were sure Brekker would have been a heap against the wall now. 

“How dare you? How dare you suggest I work for that lowlife asshole?” You heard the soft click of a gun being loaded and when you looked aside you found Jesper’s gun pointed at your face. You turned back to Kaz. “Choose your words better next time, Brekker, or even that poor cane of yours won’t be able to help you walk anymore.” 

You sunk back in the chair, fingers clutched around the rope on your wrists. Jesper lowered his gun. 

“So not Rollins,” he said. “Noted. Kaz?” 

This one was staring down at you with a strange, dark expression on his face. It lasted for a second, then it cleared and he was back.

“I work for no one,” you said, trying to keep your voice from trembling. “It’s just me.” 

“Why those jobs? Where did you get the information?” 

“Word is all around, you just have to listen to the right things.” You gestured around with your head. “Of course, not everything pays off.” 

“That doesn’t answer the question.” 

“You asked two questions at the same time, that makes it rather hard to answer.” 

Kaz squeezed his eyes. “Why did you kill Albert before the meeting?” 

“Albert gambled off children in his club,” you said. Upon seeing Jesper’s shocked face and even Kaz’ shadow of disgust, you added, “Yes, quite the secret, isn’t it? He deserved the ending he got. They say death is like falling asleep, but I made sure Albert got haunted by some nightmares first.” You shook your head. “If I had known there’d be money to be earned with his death, I would’ve chosen a different time, but I do not regret killing him.” 

In the back of your head you could still hear his screams and your own hysterical laughter. Cruel, but you weren’t lying. Albert had thrown you into this life so it was only fair he got what he deserved. 

“I see. And the jurda job?” 

“It was an easy one,” you shrugged. “Anyone in their right mind would have done it. You tried too, but I suppose you don’t care to tell me why?” 

Brekker stroked a hand over the lapel of his coat. “Same reason as you, no doubt. What about Frederiksen?”

You huffed. “Do you expect me to reveal all my secrets, Brekker?” When he said nothing and just kept watching expectantly, you turned to Jesper. “Is he always this relentless?” 

“You learn to deal with it,” Jesper said, giving you a light grin. 

“I doubt that.” You looked at Kaz. “The crest is worth a lot. Of course there are easier ways to get money, but where’s the fun in that? Getting into the mansion wasn’t the problem but the vault was a puzzle. Took me three nights to figure it out, but I guess there are worse ways to spend your evenings.” You felt the rope in your hands. “Like being bound to a chair.” 

“And the documents?” 

“They were… a lucky surprise.” You thought of the papers under your mattress, the effort they had cost you to get to them, and the rage which with you had almost torn them apart. Even after all those years, that name still did that to you. “A nice way to stir things up.” 

Jesper laughed. “I like her, Kaz.” 

You smiled at him. That was one. But with just Jesper’s support you wouldn’t get far. 

“So,” you said, tilting your chair back. “What more do you want to know?”

Brekker stared at you for a minute and you had the strange feeling he could see through your act. “One more thing.” 

“Let me guess: Why tonight?” You shrugged. “A girl’s gotta eat, not? I hate to admit that you had me fooled so easily, but you did.” 

“No.” Kaz pointed with his cane to you. “I want to know why you are still here when you have freed yourself from the rope minutes ago.” 

Eyes, breath, wrists. You held out your unbound hands in front of you. Then you looked up; Jesper was staring at you with an impressed look on his face but Kaz seemed unfazed. 

“The same reason you haven’t killed me yet, if I judge correctly.” You crossed your arms and leaned back. “You’re interested. So am I. We could work together.” 

Brekker said nothing but you could see on his face that you’d guessed right. You truly hadn’t wanted to ruin his jobs, it had been a coincidence. And now he knew, perhaps there was a chance here. An opportunity to finally get your revenge. 

“We could still kill you,” Jesper offered, but there was a smirk on his face. 

Brekker wasn’t so merry. “One wrong move and it’s over,” he said. Then he nodded, “What do you have?” 

You straightened, the excitement of a new job filling you with that familiar tingle, and grinned. Time to get to work. “Oh, it’s got it all. Money. Danger. Fun.” 

Revenge. 

Once, you had vowed to bring them all down, to never rest until you saw their bodies lowered into the ground. For years you had been nurturing your rage, preparing for this moment, when you would see them fall one by one. 

You would come for them as they had come for you. 

- - - - - - -

six of crows taglist:  @xxinvisiblexx​ @awritingtree​​

MASTERLIST

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Don't Go Blindly Into the Dark

Summary:

To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?

Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?

Tags: @justalunaticfangirl @lunarthecorvus

If anyone else would like to be tagged let me know :)

Content warnings for this chapter: ptsd, implied violence, implied imprisonment, implied trafficking references, death, wounds

AO3 link

Chapter 24 - Kaz

“Oh, and Rollins is kicking up a fuss,” Anika added to the end of her report, “some girl pulled a runner from the Sweet Shoppe and I guess she must be a good earner ‘cause he ain’t happy about it. He’s offering money for information ‘bout it, or for bringing her back,”

Kaz frowned, leaning back in his chair. They were in his office at the Crow Club, and up until now Anika hadn’t told him much he didn’t already know. An update on the death of the Leopard, which was pretty much that no-one knew anything and the world was quickly moving on, a follow up on Roeder having tailed Oomen and some of the other Black Tips to try and find out if there was something specific they wanted from the Wraith, the Black Tips themselves were still pushing their luck at Fifth Harbour, and there’d been another report of strange activity on the Geldstraat. A few times in the last month or so there had been slightly odd or inconsistent instances in the Geldin District late at night that filtered back to the Barrel the long way round, through word of mouth and sometimes foolish-sounding rumours from staff and guards, then their friends and then their friends and then their friends. Kaz wasn’t sure how much stock he was putting in it, but it was worth keeping up on. This, however, had piqued his interest. 

First of all, there had to be something about this girl that made her worth Pekka’s efforts to bring her back in, and that meant she might be worth something to Kaz if he could find a way to use her against him. He flexed his fingers in his gloves. Brick by brick. And then there was the second of all; pulling a runner from any of the pleasure houses on West Stave was a task and a half but from one as big as the Sweet Shoppe? Whose eyes had she managed to pull the wool over long enough for that? - And just two weeks after the Leopard went missing from the Menagerie, and showed up dead? That seemed a pretty strange coincidence, and Kaz didn’t believe in coincidences. 

“Who is she?”

“Well I heard Amethyst,” Anika shrugged, “I assume that’s not her real name, but-”

“But it’s enough to go on, for now at least. I want Roeder looking into this, see if he can find her contract - any kind of paper trail that can tell us who she is, where she might’ve gone,”

If she had run away, of course, and not been taken.

“How long has she been gone?”

“Far as I know, just this morning,”

Kaz nodded. He would’ve preferred to have Inej look into this, she would be more thorough, more subtle, and probably faster than Roeder, but he didn’t know if she could climb yet and Roeder was good enough at his job. They didn’t have long to act. 

Kaz hadn’t heard anything more about the Wraith since yesterday, when Jesper had come by to tell him Wylan was alive and Inej was unconscious but Nina had done her job.

“I need you to walk me through what happened,”

“I’ve told you everything I know.” said Jesper, “We got cornered by the Black Tips and Inej told me to go ahead to get to Wylan, but I heard gunshots so I ran back,”

“Who was there?” Kaz had pressed impatiently.

Inej wasn’t originally supposed to be working that morning, if Jesper hadn’t twisted Kaz’s arm into this job she would’ve been at the Crow Club or the Slat and no-one would be able to get to her. 

“Liesbeth Stoevelaar,” said Jesper, “Oomen, a few others - I didn’t recognise them all. I took one out but it was retaliation, and we got out of there before any Razorgulls showed up,”

Stoevelaar. Oomen. Kaz nodded.

Now it was morning once again; the sun had risen and was carving its gradual pathway towards the peak of the cloudy sky, but there were still hours to pass until midday. The predicted storms had thus far come to nothing but the clouds were still gathering, the sun peaking eagerly through their edges, waiting for whatever catalyst would finally convince the rain that it was time to fall. Kaz picked up a neat little envelope from his desk, affixed his seal to it, and handed it to Anika.

“Find Elodie Schiff at the White Rose and give her that. Tell Roeder to talk to me about this Amethyst situation when he gets back,”

Anika nodded, slipping the letter into her pocket, then turned to leave. 

“Oh-” she turned back as Kaz spoke, “Send Nina over,”

It wasn’t long afterwards that the Heartrender arrived, knocking lightly on the door and stepping inside with a shake of the Ketterdam mists off the collar of her coat as soon as he’d bid her entry.

“The Wraith?”

“Still asleep,” said Nina, “Or she should be anyway, if she isn’t she’s at least still in bed. I haven’t been in this morning, I want her to rest as long as possible, but she seemed to be improving even just during the day yesterday,”

Kaz nodded, but it didn’t quell the unease in his mind. He told Nina that Jesper and Wylan were on their way and he wanted her there to discuss this new job but his thoughts wandered away from the room even as he spoke, and focused only on how much he missed his usual routine with Inej. He wanted to sit behind his desk at the Slat as he sorted through his papers, watching her where she was sitting on his window sill.. It was discomforting - not only because he wanted to return to normal but because he didn’t know why it bothered him so badly that things were out of regularity. But she’d been at the university for two weeks and they’d barely seen each other, and now she still could not return. He wanted to re-pace, to return to what he knew and could expect. Saying he trusted Inej would be stretching the point, but he could admit that he’d come to rely on her, and her absence was putting him on edge. 

“Are you really sure I should be here?” Nina was saying, “He doesn’t know about the university job, isn’t it going to be a problem if he-”

“Nina?” 

Kaz and Nina both looked up, to see Wylan Van Eck standing in the open office doorway. 

“... recognises me,” she sighed, “Hi, Wylan,”

Wylan stepped into the room, nudged gently by Jesper, who was standing behind him and followed him inside. Nina bit the inside of her lip as she slid to one side, watching Wylan and Jesper step towards the desk. 

“You recognise voices quickly,” Kaz remarked, studying Wylan.

He looked younger than Kaz knew him to be, but his first night in the Barrel had clearly taken its toll. His clothes were ill-fitting and his curls were mostly untamed, Kaz knew that he usually used a cane but he didn’t have one with him now, and despite the unsubtle attempt his scarf was making to hide them Kaz could see dark bruises growing on his throat. Jesper hadn’t known everything that happened to Wylan yesterday morning, but clearly none of it was particularly happy-go-lucky. 

“Eight years of practice,” Wylan shrugged, “And I had to learn pretty quick. I don’t recognise you, though, so am I right to assume you must be Kaz Brekker?”

“I am,” Kaz conceded, “And I believe you and Nina are already acquainted,”

Wylan nodded.

“I didn’t know you worked together,” said Wylan, face turning through the room to find Nina, but in her silence settling on Jesper instead.

“There’s an explanation to be had soon enough,” Kaz interrupted, “But first I want to talk,”

“About what?”

“I’ve been told you know your way around a chemistry set,”

Wylan frowned.

“I suppose,” he ventured, slightly clouded eyes sparking with suspicion, “Why?” 

“We have a job coming up for which we require someone with your particular skill set. I’ll need flash bombs, I don’t know how many but I’m willing to pay by the dozen or whatever your normal bulks are, and a few with a little more kick to them. Something that would disable a small bridge - stone bridge, mind you - and something big enough to-”

“Bombs?” Wylan looked aghast, “You want me to build bombs?” 

Kaz’s gaze flicked, unimpressed, over to Jesper. Jesper shuffled uncomfortably on his chair, avoiding Kaz’s eyes and Wylan’s concerned expression. 

“Why did you think you were here?” asked Kaz, coolly.

“I don’t-”

“I’ve been watching you for some time, and now I have a use for you. Nina and Inej would have been able to confirm this for me if you hadn’t been pulled from university and ended up in this little predicament but-”

“I left university,” said Wylan, suddenly, “No-one pulled me out,”

Kaz sighed. 

“I don’t have time for us to tiptoe around this, Wylan. I know that your father pulled you out of university and fed the world a false tale about a music school in Belendt but the point is-”

“I was supposed to go to Belendt,” Wylan said, almost earnestly enough that Kaz might have thought he truly believed it. Almost, “I - here, I have enrolment papers,”

He pulled an envelope from the inside pocket of his jacket, the only clothing item in his ensemble that Kaz was convinced was his own.

“They got a bit wet. But…”

“May I?” Kaz held a gloved hand out over the desk, but of course Wylan just leant forwards until he found the desk itself and placed the envelope on the top.

Kaz picked it up and pulled a small blade from his sleeve to slice it open. It was an oyster shucking knife, really, but it would do. 

Wylan had said the papers had gotten wet, and indeed the envelope was still slightly damp and wearing away enough to leave an unwelcome shedding of paper bits onto Kaz’s gloves, but there was no ink bleeding through from the letter inside. 

“These are blank,” said Kaz, pulling the papers free and dropping them into an unpleasant, mildewy pile on the edge of his desk.

“I -” Wylan swallowed, “I don’t-”

“I don’t know how we can prove it to you, Wy,” said Jesper, softly, “But they’re blank,”

A moment passed. 

“You’ve been watching me?”

“I think you can prove very useful to me, Wylan Van Eck. But first things first you won’t get far using that surname in the Barrel, too recognisable. You should-”

“You sent Nina and Inej to watch me,” Wylan repeated, quietly.

Nina squirmed. 

“Yes,”

“Because… you want me to build bombs?”

“I want you to join my team as a demolitions expert,” said Kaz, “But if that isn’t what you want I’m happy to find a trade agreement instead. What should I call you?”

A short moment rolled by.

“Hendriks. Wylan Hendriks,”

“Good to meet you, Wylan Hendriks. Nina and Inej didn’t have time for you to prove useful in what I wanted from your father, but Jesper has vouched for your proficiency at chemistry and in that case-”

“You…” Wylan turned to face Jesper, squaring his shoulders, “Right. I see,”

“Wylan-” Jesper began, but Wylan was already rounding back towards Kaz.

“I’m sorry but you clearly have the wrong person for both of your interests. I cannot get you any closer to my father than either of us already are, and I don’t want anything to do with this. I don’t know what you’re going to do with explosives but I want no part in it,” he said, and then looking somewhere in between Kaz and Jesper, “I’ll make my own way,”

He marched from the office, ignoring Jesper calling after him. Jesper shot Kaz one furious look, and then ran after him and out into the Crow Club. Nina shook her head.

“What the hell did you just do?”

“I did nothing, Zenik, except tell the truth,”

Nina sighed melodramatically.

“If that’s all, I’m going to go back and check on Inej,”

Kaz nodded.

“Fine. But I want that kid under Dregs’ protection,”

There was a brief pause, as Nina turned slowly back from her pathway to the door.

“Why?”

“Because he’s going to die out here, or he’s going to have to change his mind at some point” Kaz replied, standing up and shifting his weight onto his cane, “And when does I’d rather he doesn’t find someone else to work for,”

There was another reason too, and Kaz’s mind began to whirr through it at top speed as he paced from the office and onto the floor of the Club. There were deals to be made, games to oversee, money to make. But through all of it this remained in the back of his head, a new puzzle that he was yet to solve.

Because Kaz was about ninety five percent certain that Wylan Hendriks could see.

[whump-collector]

Fandom: Shadow & Bone (TV) Word count: 1406 Characters: Kaz Brekker, Nina Zenik, Pekka Rollins, Jesper Fahey Warnings: canon typical violence

Read on ao3 What if that scene at Pekka's club had turned out a little differently? (I haven't read the books (yet), so I don't know if Grisha powers work that way. I hope you enjoy anyway.) -----

Everything went as planned. The others had left to do their tasks; Nina had knocked out Kaz, brought him to Pekka’s club and dropped him at his feet. Now as far as she was concerned her job was done. Unfortunately, Pekka had other ideas.

“Very good, now make him scream,” he said, as casually as talking about the weather.

“What?” Nina hadn’t expected that.

“You heard.”

“I’m not a torturer.” She would’ve crossed her arms, if she hadn’t been busy keeping Kaz down with her powers. After all he wanted it to look real. But she didn’t want to actually hurt him.

“You’re already a traitor,” Pekka shrugged.

“That wasn’t the deal. How do I know you’re not going to alter it each time I do what you ask?” An angry look crossed Pekka’s face.

“Guess you don’t. Also, he will shoot you if you refuse to hurt Brekker.” Pekka gestured to one of his men who promptly pointed a gun at Nina. Nina felt a little helpless, but did her best not to show it. They were here to buy the others time, till the plan was coming into motion. She couldn’t just pretend, as she was pretty sure Pekka would notice the difference between real and faked pain. She also wasn’t sure what Pekka would do once he got what he wanted. Would he kill them both right away or take some time to gloat first? Nina decided that she didn’t want to know as long as possible, which meant she had to draw this out as long as possible. She couldn’t see Kaz’ face, but she suspected he had come to the same conclusion. She felt his heartbeat quicken as he braced himself.

I’m sorry. She looked at Pekka with an expression as cold and emotionless as she could muster when she started to focus more of her power onto Kaz. The effect was immediate. Kaz clutched his chest and curled in on himself. He had his eyes closed and Nina could see that he concentrated to breathe evenly through the pain. He didn’t make a sound.

“Keep going!”

You know, if I could have it my way you’d be laying there, she thought angrily. But she did what she was told and hoped Kaz would forgive her. He was shaking now and his breathing was ragged. He seemed even paler than usual. But he stayed silent, which was impressive. Nina didn’t use her powers often that way, but usually at that point people were begging her to stop. She wasn’t too surprised though. She’d already suspected that Kaz’ pain tolerance was higher than that of others. Also she assumed he just didn’t want to give Pekka the satisfaction of seeing him screaming from pain. Stubbornness could achieve a lot. Nevertheless Nina prayed that they would be saved by the plan soon.

“Is that all you’ve got?”, Pekka sneered. It wasn’t, but Nina never had a reason to hurt someone more than she already did now. Sure she had killed people with her powers, but inflicting pain without killing someone was something different. And she really hadn’t planned to try how much pain she could cause without killing someone on a friend. She’d saved that experience for someone she really hated. Pekka started to look like a good candidate.

Nina hesitated. She was aware that the whole room was watching them, she was also aware of the gun pointed at her and that she doubtlessly would be shot if she didn’t act soon. A dark part of her wondered how much more Kaz could take. What would run out first, her powers or his resilience? She wasn’t going to find that out. She decided she would count on Kaz to be able to take a little more and if after that they still weren’t saved by the damned plan, she’d try her luck. She’d kill Pekka’s gunman and as many of his goons as possible and try not to be shot.

Kaz couldn’t suppress a moan as Nina increased her efforts and a single tear ran across his cheek. His whole body was tense and if they somehow survived this, Nina was certain his muscles would ache like hell for a few days. Unfortunately, not even Healers could help with that. Nina hoped that he at least would grant himself some rest, but first they had to get out of this. And as if on cue, but much too late for Nina’s liking, a siren sounded outside.

-----

They’d all gathered to celebrate their “victory”, but Nina didn’t feel victorious at all. She felt dead tired, but was sure she wouldn’t sleep tonight, neither would Kaz. He hid his exhaustion better than Nina, but she’d noticed that he was moving slower and more gingerly than usual and his hands trembled when he wasn’t holding onto something. The others had noticed as well, but they hadn’t said a word. There was a strange atmosphere between them, as they all avoided talking about what they had witnessed at the club. Nina would’ve done the same, but she felt horrible about what she had done and if she didn’t talk about it now, she wouldn’t get another chance. At least she had to know, well what exactly? That Kaz was going to be okay? That he wasn’t mad at her? That they’d be all right?

Something like that, she decided.

“Are you all right?”, she asked carefully. It was a stupid question and she knew he wasn’t, couldn’t be, no matter what he told her, but she had to start somewhere. Kaz had looked lost in thought and now directed his attention to her.

“Better than all right, we won.” He grinned joylessly at her.

“I just wanted to say I’m... well, I’m sorry. And if I can do anything...” It was a poor apology, but she hoped he knew she really meant it. He merely shrugged then winced barely noticeable.

“You did what you had to do.” She couldn’t hear any trace of anger or repulsion and she was surprised how glad she was about that. She would’ve hated to lose her new friends. Although it had started as a partnership of convenience, each of them had grown on her.

Suddenly a thought crossed her mind and curiosity got the better of her.

“Did you know Pekka was going to do that?” She still had a few questions about the events and maybe she could distract Kaz a bit if she could keep their conversation going. Also the others did look equally curious.  

“No, but I knew he would take some time killing me. If he only wanted me dead, he would’ve sent an assassin. He wanted to make an example of me.” He sounded oddly proud. Nina shuddered.

Did you even consider that he could’ve done permanent damage? He probably had and had come to the conclusion that it was worth the risk. And the pain. She had to admit she was impressed by Kaz dedication. Most of the leaders she’d known liked to keep out of harm’s way and preferred to push others into it. Although, maybe she’d been pushed a little bit after all.

“How did you know Pekka wouldn’t kill me as soon as we arrived?” He looked like he was going to shrug again, but then thought better of it.

“You don’t kill your errand girl in front of everyone,” he answered matter-of-factly. Nina looked at Kaz sceptically.

“He threatened to have me shot in front of everyone.”

“That was because you dared to question the credibility of his deals publicly.” He sounded almost amused now. Nina was surprised; it just had been an honest observation. A “businessman” like Pekka should’ve known that you don’t alter deals on the fly. Obviously he’d felt save enough to break that rule or more likely he’d just hadn’t expected for Nina to call him out on it. She shook her head and shrugged.

“I keep getting into trouble for telling the truth, I really ought to stop doing that,” she said jokingly.

“Please don’t,” Jesper butted in. Nina had already noticed that he found her bluntness quite entertaining.

“Just remember that if I ever tell you something you didn’t want to hear.” She winked at him. He responded with more banter and pretty soon the tense atmosphere in the group had vanished and they were deep in conversation about past and upcoming adventures.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

Shadow And Bone Season Two Thoughts

I’m just copying over the 3.5k google doc of doom lol because otherwise I’ll never get to it. It’s in no particular order and expect many spoilers!

— The choice to stick to Alina having prophetic dreams makes sense. But they also don’t really explain it? I could understand it with the stag since it chose her or whatever but it seems odder with her seeing the shadow fold expanding. They’re meant to be tied to her “mind palace” visits with the Darkling I think, and the overall push to make their connection something more unintentional that neither really know how to use until later in the story. But also… they’re already having full conversations from the very beginning??? So I’m not sure I get the choice to have them *both* be uncertain over whether their dreams are real or whether the other is even alive. Their dialogue is just too drawn out and fully realized. I do find it really funny though that the Darkling poses the question “are you willing to sacrifice that which is most precious to you” which is clearly narratively setting up the Mal = the third amplifier reveal. But what did he think he was talking about?? He didn’t know about that?? So what was he referring to??

— The first episode was BY FAR the weakest. The dialogue was frankly atrocious, especially the exposition. I think they even managed to make really basic comments *sound* like exposition when they weren’t meant to be. And it’s very jarring next to all the book dialogue later on, especially when one of LB’s biggest strengths has always been fantastic character voice and strong dialogue. The entire made up conflict over Mal’s former commander just happening to be there, and Alina randomly finding the Sea Whip’s general location on basically the first map she finds just feel sooo contrived. I didn’t hate the majority of the new content in this season, but basically everything in this episode on the TGT front fucking sucked. Which, if I’m not mistaken, was written by the showrunner himself, and lol. lmao. (Also WHY would the Zemeni be fantasy!christian? The way they flock to help Malina feels… weird.)

— Meanwhile: why do everyone and their mother know how amplifiers work apparently? Both Mal and Nikolai talk about them super authoritatively. They are also presented as having a strong idea of how they work vs just vaguely. And it just seems… odd? Like we know Alina didn’t know anything about them before plot stuff happened to inform her. Again it just feels like clumsy exposition overtaking character writing.

— I don’t know how I feel about them tying Nikolai back to the plot to kidnap Alina in season one. On the one hand it’s a clever way to loop him into existing plotlines, and I guess it’s a fun book nod that he was supposedly studying at Ketterdam. But it also just seems like a really backwards way to go about it? That being said, Nikolai’s interaction with the Crows is VERY fun and I like how they give us a mini identity reveal moment since book fans (and anyone who’s watched the trailer or season promo) already know about the Sturmhond/pirate reveal. Also loling forever at Alina kidnapping herself for an entire second time

— I wasn’t expecting to but I did really like how they picked several aspects from Crooked Kingdom to do so early. Unpopular opinion but Crooked Kingdom just Did Not work for me in a multitude of ways (the plot structure felt really weak, the fucking magic yellow face with Wylan and Kuwei, the way the Khergud paired with the parem plotline feel like SUCH a racist set of tropes) so seeing these fairly strong parts from it divorced from context was very fun. I was initially annoyed by the concept of Pekka Rollins being aware of Kaz so early and viewing him as a rival. But they preserved him not remembering the original con he pulled on him and Jordie which was the most important part. I think I would’ve still preferred it if he was oblivious to the Crows existence for longer, but they were really speedrunning this plotline lol and I understand how it drastically raises the stakes. Also I think we got word of god confirmation that LB herself suggested this change, so I trust it a touch more. I think the scene where Kaz beats up Per Haskell and everyone at the club was perhaps the ported over CK best that worked the least for me within its new context. But eh.

— So something I was absolutely not expecting was the Darkling’s pivot into full cartoon villain territory. On the one hand… he is simply not the OG Darkling. He’s not on his level and simply never will be! But I’m interested in the choices made so far. Though most of the dialogue out of his mouth when not breaking out book quotes is frankly fucking terrible, and I understand now why Ben Barnes kept pushing for book lines lmao. His first in-person introduction in the season pilot alone was godawful. What the actual fuck was that “cook up some dinner” line??? Anyway I liked the glimpse of social repercussions to the Grisha defecting.

— Nikolai generally very pleasantly surprised me! The initial exposition is just as bad as I suspected. But his general dialogue and delivery is good. I can definitely buy Patrick Gibson in the role. His little Superman outfit change was delightful! I LOVED that they kept Alina punching him then and there once she realizes his identity. I also really liked the choice to ease up on the animosity between him and Mal and instead give them some one on one bonding. Their relationship was surprisingly effective for me!

— I was strongly suspecting we weren’t going to get the Darkling blinding Baghra, or mutilating Genya entirely out of spite, just because of how softened he was in the previous season and that’s been fairly true. I’ve seen some people be aghast at the finger bones thing but that’s at least to a purpose, frankly I think his book retaliation is far worse. I didn’t much enjoy what they did with Baghra this season? She was mostly just giving exposition. And she just wasn’t around the gang enough for her opening up about Morozova being her father to have as much weight as it should. I also just didn’t really get the choice to handle her death the way they did with the burning building etc. It felt particularly rushed and was the part I had to pause the most to explain book context to my friend who was watching it with me.

— I do wish we’d gotten a bit more mid S&S era politicking and seeing the characters navigate a glittering court setting. The show leaned more towards militaristic. Which is fine, and I feel like the climactic sequence is implying that they’re saving the more court focused stuff for later. But I wish we’d just gotten a bit more of the general climate. Or like what the fuck the Apparat is even up to. His complete absence particularly felt like a forgotten storyline when he was fairly active and creepy in season one.

— I did NOT like the shadow blade subplot for multiple reasons. The heist itself felt the weakest of the Crow schemes, on par with their season one era kind of ridiculously spinning their wheels, the quality really plummets when they stop drawing from book content entirely. It was just poorly thought out and executed on their side, for example, why send literally everyone into the house? Did they do any recon at all? Just seems really half baked comparatively. Meanwhile it really strongly undercuts the *point* of the amplifiers and magic not being the big dramatic thing that kills the Darkling. I just adore that, in the books, it’s an entirely ordinary knife that takes him down. Especially because he *only* really counts magic/Grisha power/merzost as threats. He overlooks anything else. I just hate him being taken down by a magic blade. It also just ties into the trend of like the Darkling amplifying *himself* or giving his troops of Grisha red shirts the powdered remains of his mother’s finger bones. It just points to a need for bigger and flashier, which idk just doesn’t seem like the right choice here.

Which is funny because the biggest and flashiest scenes were the ones they toned down the most! Baghra leaping to her death to steer away the nichevo’ya, Nikolai turning into a demon, the entirety of the chapel showdown. I get the sense that they probably just didn’t have the budget for these scenes, and maybe that’s why they’re trying to instead bring in random other mcguffins and amplifiers to sound cooler without doing anything that’s too fancy. The sea whip scene for example also felt way too small scale, and they didn’t even bother with the red herring firebird.

— The hallucinations during the above shadow blade plot also just felt rather cheap as ways to try to do some character work and to rush some quick backstory on Jesper’s part AND to give Wylan something to do. The butterfly antidote was beyond the fucking pale in just how contrived it was lol. Like sure. it just HAPPENS to fucking be there and it’s so easy to grab. Frankly if they really wanted to do character work like that, I wish they’d leaned into it and made it magic. Some sort of Saint/Grisha controlling their dreams and deliberately manipulating their emotions perhaps either through more muddling the worldbuilding and what magic can do even more lol or just introducing the question of parem earlier. But yeah if you’re going to make them all confront their fears and wants simultaneously then at least own it and make that the point.

— I’m also loling forever at Mal being arrested at Vasily's behest and apparently tried for desertion entirely off screen?? Right before the climactic sacking of the capital? Why was there so much focus on Mal being absent if he’s just going to randomly show up again? Was it a case of the writers not talking to each other? Did they have a more fleshed out storyline planned that got cut? That just felt like the most silly and half baked development to me.

— The attack on the palace itself just felt way less momentous. The Darkling steering Alina away from the fighting was itself kind of silly. I take it that was entirely just to cut down on how much fighting and CGI we need to see on camera lol. But like he kills a bunch of people and apparently forces the government to essentially flee? But he doesn’t even take the capital for himself??? One of the biggest missed opportunities in the books in my opinion was how we never see what the Darkling actually does once he installs himself as ruler, when there has been so much focus on him gunning for that kind of unilateral institutional power. Highlighting any changes he may have enacted (or the lack thereof!) could be really interesting! But we never get those details! And the show uh does not fill in the blanks there at all. Instead it’s even more confusing over why the fuck he just… retreats? back to wherever his base is? Why the fuck didn’t he press his advantage? Also WHO is running the fucking country in the meantime?? There’s the throwaway line in the last episode about the Apparat having ruled in the king’s staid but that’s way too late and like what even were the logistics of that happening! It would’ve just made more sense for the Darkling to take over and live out his evil overlord dreams! But I guess this season was very particularly averse to giving him any control of or deliberate choices with anything lol. Anyway, I also just have no idea where he was meant to be for the majority of the season. I feel like we could’ve used a bit more detail.

— I’m mostly cool with Darklina content being nerfed for this season. They were far too softened in the first season so this 180 feels appropriate and I just prefer getting to see the Darkling be awful. And the one scene riffing off the book’s “apt pupil” moment did actually feel like it was in keeping with the spirit of their dynamic. So I’m fairly satisfied on a shippy front, even though it had almost none of what I enjoyed from the books. The show dynamic was just too different to follow that same trajectory imo. That being said, the way his interactions with Alina become increasingly violent just feels… dull. This goes hand in hand with one of my gripes with season one as well, where he just raises his voice too often, loses his temper frequently, and even has that fist fight scene. It’s such a boring like “ooh male rage” sort of take? And it didn’t really do much for me!

I’m undecided on how I feel about them having such an extended conversation after she tears down the Shadow Fold. On the one hand they didn’t get to talk all that much. So I enjoy seeing that. But also feels a little inorganic considering just how at each other’s throats they’ve been?

The nichevo’ya attacking her and him being like STOP was really funny. In general I LOVED the choice to give him fucked up victorian wasting disease and to generally just give him drastic consequences for using merzost. I’m a little unhappy with the implication that he might have been dying even if she hadn’t killed him, because there’s so much focus on the concept of eternity and who else will weather immortality with her etc. But overall I loved how much they tore him down this season.

— Despite all that. Not sure how I feel about him offering Alina a hand. And also trying to protect her from the nichevo’ya. And while he’s remembering kissing her she guts him agufgfdhhdfjgd like on the one hand good for her.gif. But damn idk. Not very Darkling of him 😂

— I don’t get the early focus on amplifiers not needing to die (with the sea whip particularly, and later with Baghra’s finger bones) to then flip over firmly to Mal 100% needing to die once it’s clear he’s the third amplifier. I get the sense that they may have been trying to pose that question and explore it (I think maybe Baghra’s bones weren’t very useful before her death?) until it’s clear that no, death *is* necessary. But it just feels rather clumsy and I think it was already fairly well established with the stag. Though I really enjoyed the later attempt they made to rules lawyer killing him by stopping his heart for two minutes lol. It’s also a great red herring for book readers, because you’d think that’s going to be the excuse for the deus ex machina of him coming back from the dead… and then he doesn’t. So Alina has do delve into merzost.

—I’m very curious what they’re going to do with the Dark!Alina development. I have truly no idea. I’m assuming some variation of KoS and since we know the Darkling will be back, I’m guessing they might have more interactions then? I found it really interesting that word of god, and generally the show’s framing, seem to imply that he’s not wrong when he’s speaking about the cost of immortality and wanting to make a difference etc etc. So that alone makes me strongly suspect that when he’s resurrected (if the show goes that far lol) she’s meant to have a stronger understanding of him. But yeah idk! I’m curious to see what they’ll do once entirely off script for her character. I’ve seen speculation that they’re going to strip her of her power eventually like in the books. But I doubt they’ll do that unless they know they’re getting canceled and want to wrap up or if JML personally wants to leave the show. They’ve been pretty explicit about keeping them on as protagonist for as long as the show’s going. So I suspect that itself will mean we probably won’t get her becoming corrupted only to justify losing her power.

— I do think it was clever how they rearranged it so that we basically do get an attack on the Spinning Wheel type beat. But it’s so different that you’re not expecting it.

— Getting the Dominik plotline so early and sparsely is a little disappointing. But I get simply showing him onscreen when we have the chance, rather than establishing him entirely in flashback after the fact. They clearly want to do KoS so I’m expecting we’ll get more about him from Nikolai’s perspective later. That being said, Nikolai telling Dominik that he and Alina aren’t a thing (after the public engagement announcement) is SO funny. Like. Are you worried that would ruin your chances with him 👀

— On that note, I frankly do not understand the Zoyalai vs Nikolina uproar. The Nikolina scenes were pretty much entirely what existed in the trilogy already, with a couple liberties taken. And they actually went out of their way to remove a few more overtly romantic gestures and the like two times they kiss. I doubt her choosing to stay on is going to stick for very long. I think a lot of people were just expecting the Nikolina scenes to be cut entirely in order to start seeding Zoyalai (which same lol) but… this isn’t that different from the books. I’m sure Zoya will just get her romantic arc later?

That being said I did always prefer Nikolina and one of my biggest gripes with KoS was that sidelining Alina while bringing the Darkling back undercut her arc entirely. So. I won’t be mad if they do more with her. But I really didn’t think they went out of their way to like encroach on future Zoyalai 🤷‍♀️

— I did really like the choice to break up Malina, literally for Malina’s sake even. Something that was always uneven in the trilogy was how it set up the first book with the implication that Alina must let go of her codependent attachment to Mal to grow. So her winding up with him by the story’s close inadvertently ends up looking like regression. So giving them a break from each other to grow as people, only to later come back together (which I’m assuming is the plan) is a great choice to keep that thematic consistency and to let the characters breathe. I was also really impressed with how they handled the Malina conflicts, his “you’re my flag, my nation” speech always felt really sulky and guilt trippy to me in the book, but the show really sells it as a sincere and heartfelt thing to say. However, with book context, it was kind of fucking hilarious to see Alina yell at him later for being too chill with all of her decisions. The “deserve her” scene was also really good, and I am a fan of how it actually established that he has any sort of dreams or distinct personality lol.

— But, I did NOT enjoy the Darkling going directly to Mal’s dreams. Though it makes sense for him to try to be sly. But it just centers him in a way fairly similar to the climactic sequence of the first season.

OR like “Mal and I changed the world. WE tore down your shadow fold” yes technically correct but stopppp

— I was a fan of the expanded role Genya got and how we got to see more of what the Darkling was up to from her perspective. And how she begins to fear him. That being said, the confrontation with the Queen, and later Nikolai, felt rather… on the nose? The dialogue in this show isn’t the best but hm that wasn’t great. I think that underground segment generally was one of the points where the rushed writing was really showing its seams.

— Speaking of the underground segment, I was shocked by just how much they’d cut the Apparat from the plot and also the general focus on Alina as a religious figure. I guess I get it structurally because they need screen time and the Apparat plot literally goes *nowhere* in the trilogy proper, so might as well save him being a turncoat for the KoS era stuff. But simultaneously… KoS gets so strongly into what Saints actually are vs how they’re been perceived up until then, which *itself* was already high key inadequate imo lmao. So cutting that groundwork even further is… a choice. So yeah I’m really intrigued how that bee aka Elizaveta foreshadowing is going to pan out if they ever get a season three.

— I liked that we got more red shirts for team Darkling at all, if only to make my fic writing life easier lol. Perhaps the only bit of TV show content I’ll ever actually use. But the focus on a super amplified evil Grisha army that it’s okay to kill without any regret is. meh. I’m assuming they just didn’t have the money for mainly focusing on the nichevo’ya as the Darkling’s primary weapon. But they just didn’t have personalities. And the fight scene just took way too long. I was definitely missing Ivan and Fedyor. Ivan’s always been my like ancillary character fave so I was sad not to see him.

— I never particularly cared for David in the books, and especially Genya/David. I just liked Genya with either Alina or Zoya sooo much more. But the actor is really charming! And the scenes they got together were really sweet. I hope he hasn’t been actually killed off and it’s only a cliffhanger fakeout. The lack of a body and how coy they were about how he disappeared feels very deliberate. So I think it’s likely they’re planning something more with him.

—Something really noticeable was how the writers completely dropped the focus on in-universe racism. I guess they just took note on how much people hated it and course corrected. But comparatively it just makes everything that came before feel much more unnecessary. It’s like so you could’ve simply had an Asian lead without making up fantasy slurs to call them all along huh?

[seven--secrets]

The Most Precious Gift | Miyu (ft. Hime) | Epilogue

There was so much more Miyu had to say. So much more she wanted to say. But she couldn’t manage the words. She was just an absolute wreck, crumpled up in a ball, desperately forcing herself to stay close to the mirror. To hear, and see everything else being said. Her last moments.

Miyu wanted to thank Shigure. She wanted to apologize. For not being able to live her life, for never truly getting to know her as much as she wanted to. But she couldn’t manage any of them.

She could at least see her off with a smile as well, right? She could manage that much, right?

As everything starts to fade out, her eyes dart around, looking for Hime-

Seconds march into the past… The moments pass… And just like that, they're gone.

---

Miyu opened her eyes, blinking quickly. Where was she, exactly? Everything felt blurry, in the midst of that haze of not knowing that gripped one when waking up from a vivid nightmare. But this? This felt particularly heavier than normal. In her experience, focusing on the things you know around you was a good way to ground yourself. This was. A classroom. A… shrine? Huh. A shrine. Familiar faces from behind, and- Oh, Koune was here, her tentmate on this fun little trip they were on!

Wait, no, that wasn’t. That wasn’t her real name. Her thoughts were swamped with memories from this nightmare. The red slowly fading from her hair over time, and the light slowly fading from her eyes. 

It all felt muddled, but still so real. Dreams (and nightmares) usually faded quickly after waking up, but this… the more she thought about it, the more she could recall those days from her nightmare with near-perfect clarity. But there was still a gap between them and this life, this world. One that she was struggling to process. And judging by the confused glances, she wasn’t the only one. 

Takako-sensei was here… Something awful had attacked her, in her nightmare. And then she came back? And she has a sister who is also dead? Okay, she was a bit fuzzy on what all happened there, let’s not think too hard about that. There was also another face that felt familiar, yet not so. 

Kaz… Kazunari? He was here all along. He was more than just a janitor. That was a connection she couldn’t deny… He pulled her out of Hell, and gave her a chance to get to know everyone in this dream of hers. She would’ve been so lost otherwise. How much did he remember of that, she wondered? 

That distance between her memories and this reality was still holding strong.

She followed along quietly as Kaz led them out of the room, struggling with the fog in the back of her mind. And as they came through to the pool area, her eyes were met with…

A mermaid?

"We'll get out of here, I'm sure of it! A-And... when we do, I'd love to come and see you perform, yeah?"

A bitter girl?

"I guess she cared enough to give you a better life, since she couldn't be bothered to give you that herself."

No, a friend.

“Thank you for being so kind to me, and…thank you for being my friend too.”

In the end, there was no denying that Shigure was at the core of this dream of hers. The reason why she woke up at all, why she was even here. She had so many thoughts bouncing around in her head, seeing Shigure back here, as a mermaid spirit. Remembering the girl named Shigure who was killed years ago, and sparked legislation reforming the idol industry. Remembering the girl she’d gotten to know a bit after her own death in this dream of hers.

The distance between her memories and this reality was faltering, but still holding out.

Rei, and GB, other faces she recognized from her dream. Others who were distinctly supernatural. And with the girl she remembered as Shigure being a mermaid spirit now, it was… a lot. Her head hurt.

---

Some time later, she found a quiet space in one of the old classrooms just to sit and think. It was a lot. So many emotions to process, so many memories… So much to just work through to be honest. She had died. Her spirit had been rescued and bound to the closet down below. She’d spent a fair bit of time living as a spirit, and getting to know so many others. If someone had been telling her this story without context she never would’ve believed it. But there was just enough around her now; she couldn’t deny it. So why was she struggling to accept it? That was her biggest struggle right now.

She slipped a hand into her pocket, and pulled out her locket. All she’d wanted, judging from her memories, was to make sure this locket made it back to her mother. To thank her for the most precious gift she’d ever been given, the gift of safety, of a loving, supportive family. But now? What was she supposed to do now? It felt like there was something she was supposed to say, to do, but she couldn’t put a finger on it.

The door to the classroom opened behind her, and she nearly fell out of her seat with a start. What? What?? What on earth-? When she spun around to look at the intruder, her eyes widened, and she froze. 

Himeyuri. The one she’d met as Erza, a standoffish and cold writer. But that wasn’t her. Himeyuri had such a profound warmth within, that had warmed Miyu’s own heart in such a cold time. Feelings she could never forget, dream or not.

The gap between her memories and this reality came crashing down, and Miyu laughed. It all made sense now.

“It’s… It’s… Oh my god, it’s perfect. It’s the exact opposite, isn’t it, Hime-chan? Of how we met! You remember, right?” She stood up to greet her, pendant in hand. And yet, she couldn’t help but shuffle her feet. She didn’t want to… jump the gun. Just in case Hime didn’t remember.

But of course she remembered. Her instant surprise melts into a soft expression, a small smile resting on her face. Ah, how it was warm. “It’s just like then, except I’m not chasing you out of here.” A small, light laugh. “Of course I remember.”

“But I… It took me way too long, to realize. To process all this. I’m. I’m sorry, I am.” She nodded quickly. “I thought that I’d never get a gift more precious to me than my family, but now, I… I think I have. I think I really have.”

Though as Miyu continues to speak, Hime grows rather silent. “An apology? You… you don’t have to apologize for anything, Miyu-” She begins, before stopping herself once more, raising an eyebrow at the implications.

Miyu stepped forward.

“Hime, I… I want to thank Shigure-chan, for everything. A-And then, I want to thank Rei-san, and Kaz, and GB… A-And then-” She instinctively took Hime’s hands in hers. “I-I want to get to know you, too, properly- A-And I want you to get to know me too, y-yeah? I-I know I’m not great at this, b-but I want to try- We have so much time now, and I… I don’t want to waste any of it!”

As Miyu takes Hime’s hand, she jolts a little bit, a soft rose color taking over her cheeks. All these thank yous, all this noise, she just stares at Miyu for a moment. Warm, bright, how the sun welcomes spring. “....I’m very lucky w-we got this second chance.” She hums. “We promised to get to know each other, all the way back then, and n-now…”

Was she warm? Miyu’s cheeks had flushed pink as well. After all, they could now do this, both alive and ready to live. The implication was sinking in, but she was determined. They had promised each other, and now… Now…

Another small laugh, beaming. “We now have the time. I… I would love to get to know you more. W-what you like, and your friends, and your family, a-and-” Deep breath. “Just… everything, really.” Her first friend here, now holding her hand. Hime was lucky, lucky that their first meeting didn’t chase her away. To get this second chance… her eyes remained alight.

Miyu’s grin widened. The clouds had cleared, and the sun was shining once more. And with that warmth around them, Miyu led the way, keen on making up for the time she felt she’d lost once their memories had returned. Never once letting go of Hime’s hand the whole time.

I don’t want to waste a single moment of this precious gift that Shigure Momoshiro gave me…

[alreadybrcken]

 Tommy was trying his best to act as inconspicuous as possible, keeping his head low and hands busy. The temptation to look over his shoulder to see–or rather examine—the new guest was overwhelming, but he managed to resist. If only because he told himself that he’d get a chance sooner or later in a natural, more organic way that wouldn’t raise any alarms. He was already suspicious enough, being an outsider in a small pub full of gang members; even if those gang members were on their way to becoming, if they weren’t already, completely wasted.

 His mind, now, was running in circles trying to work out the best course of action: remain quiet while listening in to the conversations around him as he had been doing, hoping someone would eventually approach the clearly more important person in the room with an equally more important conversation, or approach the more important person with a peace offering and proposition? But what would that proposition be? An alliance? There was no point. The Dregs were so small and unimportant in the grand scheme of things that it had been difficult to acquire any information on them even with his vast pool of contacts. They were small-time criminals at best, barely scraping by and possessing very few assets apart from this place.

 In the end, the decision wasn’t his to make.

 Whoever it was that had entered the pub had decided to take a seat right next to Tommy. While taking yet another swig of his glass, he dared a glance over at his new neighbour. It didn’t do much good, however. The majority of the other’s face was obscured by a hat and the shadows it cast and other than that there was nothing else remarkable apart from the cane. A few years ago Tommy would’ve found it odd that someone who seemed so young needed a cane, but his guess now was that the other had served in France and carried his own, more obvious scars.

 Then the other spoke, and Tommy froze.

 He’d recognize that voice anywhere. It was different now, rougher, raspier, but that changed absolutely nothing about the multitude of emotions it evoked immediately. Impossible. Tommy hesitated, sitting stock still and clinging to his glass as though it was the only thing keeping him upright. He was afraid to turn his head and look over, afraid to see a ghost sitting next to him, or a hallucination, a figment of his imagination. But then Kaz spoke again, and he slowly willed himself to turn his head. “Small Heath.” A simple statement, a simple fact—the only thing he managed to get out. Before saying or doing anything else, he finished his drink and slid the now-empty glass toward the bartender in a silent plea for more. Then he turned towards Kaz once more, this time with his entire body.

 “I thought you died. I wrote you countless times, as often as I could. You never responded. And no one could give me any information on your whereabouts. I thought—” Tommy stopped himself, trying to reign in all of the things threatening to overwhelm him. There’d been many people back in France that he had cared for, but not in the way he’d grown to care for Kaz. He’d been different, special. And the loss he’d felt not only when the other had been reassigned, but especially when he’d been unable to get in contact with him afterwards had absolutely devastated him. Tommy had been sure he’d been killed in action, taken away from him before he’d ever had the chance to put into words what Kaz had meant to him.

 “What are you doing here?”

      The Crow club was doing well enough, all things considered. It kept Per Haskell's operations mostly afloat and it had made their safe house something that may have actually felt like a home of some kind. It was insulated and no longer falling apart at the seams — no thanks to the old man, of course. However, things were nowhere near as steady as Kaz would've preferred, which was largely his own fault and he knew it.

      Ever since he'd been dragged out of that wet, cold hole filled with dead, rotting corpses, he'd never been able to shake the riot of revulsion and panic that surged through him at the slightest skin on skin contact. Along with what he'd endured in the tunnels, always listening for the tink, tink, tink of pick axes, the gradual low murmur of harsh German voices through dirt walls, well ... Kaz almost regretted lying about his age to join the war. After all, what had it truly accomplished in regards to what had happened to his brother? Nothing at all. If Jordie had been alive to know what Kaz had done, he would've been furious with him.

      But at the end of the day, Jordie had been dead and Kaz had been alone in his grief and his rage. It had been stupid, but he'd had nothing else left to lose. Meeting Tommy had been one of the only good things about it and he couldn't bring himself to regret that ... even though he'd long-since given up on the idea of them finding one another. Had Tommy even survived? Birmingham was where he'd said he was from, but Kaz simply hadn't had the means to seek him out. Even if he had, what would he even say? Would Tommy even want to see him again, or would it be too difficult to untangle the complicated web of emotion between them?

      Kaz had certainly felt something, but ... that was not something you were supposed to feel, let alone act on. Not to mention, he couldn't even act on it if he'd wanted to; not without being dragged back into the smell of death and mildew, of a piercing cold that seeped deep into his bones. Why was he cursed with remembering every excruciating detail?

      He stepped into the Crow Club like he always did, pushing back against that train of thought, which only lead to disaster. He had no reason to think tonight would be different from any other—he acknowledged with satisfaction the way that people straightened themselves, came to attention at his arrival. Kaz was struggling, as he'd never known any other way of being, but ... none of them knew that.

      Kaz was passing the bar, the rhythmic thunk of his cane against wooden floors following his uneven footsteps when he paused. It was the scent of familiar cologne that struck him, that immediately caused the memory to surge to the surface. Tommy had returned from leave and ... Kaz had been glad to see him. The cologne he'd worn, albeit briefly, had struck Kaz as fitting and ... perhaps he'd considered it incredibly attractive, because it was a feeling he'd remembered shoving down. He certainly considered it attractive now. He cast a glance behind him—and, sure enough, he instantly recognized the way the man at the bar was holding his glass, the way he brought it to his mouth to swallow down the alcohol, the shape of that mouth.

      Within the realization of who exactly was sitting at his bar, Kaz's realized his heart was hammering against his rib cage. His mind too was racing, attempting to figure out if he'd known Kaz was here, if he'd come for some other unrelated reason? .... Before he could think better of it, he turned and pulled out the chair to Tommy's right hand side and settled into it. He tapped gloved fingers against the table top to gain the bartender's attention, evidently not having to say a word for the man to pour him a glass of brandy before sliding it over.

      ❝I almost feel like I ought to be offended that you didn't come here to see me,❞ Kaz rasped dryly, reaching up to take a swallow of his drink. While his heart continued to race, he sounded casual ... but Tommy had known Kaz intimately back then. He had a feeling that no matter how hard he tried, he may still be able to catch the faint undercurrent of emotion that lingered there. ❝You're a long ways from home. Birmingham, isn't it? ❞

[iheardarumorthings]

bwahah I see your requests are back open and therefore time for more *ahem* Jesper simping

okay so hear me out:

like an inferni reader who ran away from ravka, but she didn't really have any supplies so she was very much in danger until Jesper found her and helped her.

Like he allowed her to sleep in his room in the Slat until one day Kaz finds her and then you decide what happens lmao

thank you rumorrrrr

<3

anytime huffle!!!!! hope you love it!!!

warnings: soft, fluffy kanej, kaz being upset for a bit, jesper being panicky, reader snagging candy, just all around FLUFF

INTO PLACE

He had found you; you were helpless, alone, scared, unbathed. He had snuck you into the Slat through his bedroom window- not an easy feat. All for what? Charity?

Maybe it was the click that sounded in his brain the second his eyes locked with yours; the shudder that rippled through him; it was like a piece of the world that he never noticed was missing was finally put into place, making everything right.

He asked Kaz for a room with a larger closet, putting it in a way that made it seem as if it was because he had bought tons of clothes. He technically wasn’t lying either; you had developed a taste for the large button-up shirts with suspenders. You said it made you look cool.

It suited you. He loved it on you; but, then again, he loved you in anything. He loved you in the dirty kefta you donned while quite literally holding yourself together in the streets of Ketterdam. He loved you in the pajamas he had stolen from Nina and Inej and Matthias- he didn’t want to guess your style, nor impose on it. He loved you in your suspenders.

He loved you in anything.

~*~

You two played cards at night for sweets. You had no money to bet and he didn’t want to put you in debt, no matter how informal it would’ve been.

“Now, that wasn’t fair,” he laughed, head thrown back. “You cheated some how.”

You smirked, nothing but amusement in your eyes, “And how did I cheat, oh great one? How did I beat you?”

You threw a small candy up in the air, catching it in your mouth to somehow prove a point. You didn’t know what you were proving, you supposed you just wanted to show off.

“I don’t know yet,” he said, eyes narrowing playfully. “But I will figure it out if it is the last thing I do.”

You just threw another candy in the air, but this time before it hit your mouth, if caught it in his hand, eating it. Scoffing, you vowed to get revenge.

~*~

Kaz Brekker took pride in many things: his lockpicking abilities, his omniscience, and his wraith. However, the discovery of you threatened one of those, and he could not have that.

“You-”

He took a break to pinch his nose, a gesture that both you and Jesper knew was not a good sign. You knew Kaz as well as Jesper did at this point; Jesper had told you everything about… anything and everything.

Inej was seated in the window, head cocked, studying the both of you. Studying the hand placed on your shoulder, the determined look in Jesper’s eyes, the fearful one in yours.

But what was it you feared?

Being thrown out, helpless once more?

Being separated from Jesper?

She knew then that Kaz couldn’t throw you out.

“Kaz,” she spoke, sharp. He immediately turned his head toward her. “She’s an inferni.”

“And?” Kaz rasped, eyes bored. He knew all the facts. But he wouldn’t interrupt her, she knew. She had that power.

“She can prove very useful; we don’t have one of those.”

“We.”

Kaz loved that word when it came to he and the wraith pirate he could call his fiance.

He turned back to the both of you, and he thought. And suddenly- suddenly everything was put into place. Inej knew what he knew: everything. He had all the facts. Why would she repeat them?

The look in Jesper’s eye; it was the look she gave him when they were alone together, holding hands and discussing the next heist. It was the look that Nina gave Matthias.

Pure, unadulterated love. Well, not unadulterated. There was determination in there, too, calculation. He was going to have you stay, and if you couldn’t stay, he’d find a way to help you. He’d find a way to see you.

Kaz was proud of many things: his lockpicking abilities, his omniscience, and his wraith.

All three came into play once he figured it out. He wasn’t threatened, but Jesper was.

Jesper was his brother; wasn’t it his job to help his brother find happiness?

“They can stay,” he said gruffly. The look on Jesper’s face was enough, but the look of pride that Inej gave him sent him over the moon, pushing the world into place again.

[bloodwrittenballad]

Greatest Weapon | Kaz Brekker

Summary: you’re Kaz’ greatest weapon, but he refuses to use you for one of his most important heists. angrily you question him for reasoning as to why and find out you’re not just his greatest weapon, but his greatest weakness too.

Warnings: fighting, slight angst, mentions of death and injuries, swears, shitty writing, little sweet at the end. readers gender isn’t specified. also please note i’m dyslexic so if there’s any mistakes please be kind about it!

let me know what you think! it’s rushed i know and probably not great but feedback is always appreciated! - parker

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kaz sat at his desk, head resting in his gloved hands as he mulled over the conversation he’d just had about the largest mission with the crows. It was no doubt going to be a tricky one, and with your help the other were convinced it’d work. However, Kaz was not entirely too sure about that.

“I’ve said it before and I will say it again. We are not asking for their assistance.” Kaz muttered bitterly at Jesper, who was wide eyed at the suggestion of using your gifts. “But why not?” Inej pressed the matter. She’d seen you in action before, she knew you were more than capable of pulling off heists, especially one of this risk. “They’ve got talent, Kaz. Skill. We need that, especially now. Why can’t we use them?” Asked a desperate Inej.

“Because I said so!” Kaz had snapped, not meaning to come off as harsh, especially to Inej, but the subject of you had always round him up. “We are not using Y/N for this mission, and that. is. final.” The other crow members nodded, jaws slightly clenched and eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but nonetheless they listen to their boss and dropped the subject.

You, however, would not give up so easily. As soon as you had gotten to the Slat to hear the latest update on the mission, only to find out from Inej that you weren’t to be apart of it, all thanks to the ever so lovely bastard of the barrel, you saw red. Inej barely got to mutter out anything else she may have had to say, before you were stomping up the stairs to Kaz’s office.

You didn’t bother knocking like you usually would’ve, instead your soft hand met the cold metal doorknob, and ripped it open with great ferocity. The sound of intense creaking and Kaz’s name being spat broke him out of his thoughts, his cold and tired eyes snapping up to your angry ones. He stood up at once, his tall body standing still before your seething shorter figure.

“What is the meaning of this, Y/N.” He spoke in his usual authoritative edge. You scoffed. “Oh please, like you don’t fucking know exactly why I’m here. Instead why don’t you tell me the meaning of why you aren’t allowing me on this next mission? Huh? Why’s that, Kaz?” Your voice was harsh as you all but spat your words in his face, like they were venom seeping off your tongue in waterfalls.

Kaz wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t slightly surprised by your aggressiveness, yet of course he wouldn’t admit out loud or show it. Still, the spite in your demeanor towards him in this moment was like nothing he’d ever witnessed before. Sure you were as stubborn as could be, there was no denying that, and as his greatest weapon, he knew more than anyone just how fearsome you were. You’d just never directed it at him.

Until now. And Kaz could see just how much these jobs meant to you. However, regardless of the fact, his mind was made up, and that was final. You were not to be joining this mission, instead you could stay there with any medical supplies they may need ready in case anyone got injured. But he couldn’t risk you being the one in possible need of help in the unfortunate case you got hurt if you went.

And that’s exactly what he told you, not that final part of him not wanting you get hurt though of course. You let out another scoff followed by the fakest laugh he had ever heard. Actually, come by think of it, that was the only time he’d ever heard you laugh in general. What a pity it wasn’t genuine.

“Oh so what, is this a demotion? Or do you suddenly just not need me anymore, is that it? I thought I was your stupid ‘Greatest Weapon’. What changed that?”

‘My feelings for you!’ Kaz’s mind seemed to yell at him. Instead he just clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes at you. “It’s not a demotion, it’s protection.”He claimed. You rolled your eyes. “Bullshit. Protection against what exactly? You know better than anyone else that I can handle myself. Been doin’ it since I was a kid, I’m more capable than most when it comes to fighting.”

“I wasn’t talking about your protection.” Kaz hissed. Lie. “I’m talking about our protection, me and the other Crows. You’re reckless, you get hotheaded, that puts us in danger. I can’t afford you putting any of our lives on the line anymore, especially on this job.”

Another lie. You weren’t any of those things. You were one of the most skilled he’d ever seen or known, he just had to say these things to get you to back down. You however, being the stubborn pain in the ass you always were, still wasn’t buying it, even if you were slightly hurt by what he said.

“No. No Kaz I’m buying that. I’m not reckless, I never have been. I’m your best shot at bringing home the big win for this heist and you know that! Everyone fucking knows that! So tell me, truthfully, why aren’t you letting me do this? Is it punishment? Or could it be that you’re jealous? Is that it?”

Kaz drew in a deep breathe as he listened to you rant, which stopped you short in your tracks. “That’s it, isn’t it? You’re jealous. Oh Saints, is the Kaz Brekker jealous of his Greatest Weapon? Is that why you don’t want me going, because you’re afraid I’ll best you?”

His dark eyes glared at the mention, but remained silent. You just smirked, thinking you had figured it out. “Well then,” you hummed. “I guess now that we’ve gotten to the bottom of this I can go, can’t I? Unless you don’t mind me telling everyone why you had such a hissy fit over me joining...”

With that, you turned to leave his office, satisfied thinking you won and could officially go. But before you reached the door, Kaz’s voice calling your name stopped you in your spot. You froze, shocked by the tone of his voice. Not because it was harsh, not because he was snapping at you, but... because the way he spoke was so soft it was like a whisper.

That was something you’d never experienced before. Kaz had never sounded so, desperate? You turned on your heals to him, your boots creaking on the floor as you came face to face with him. And that’s when the real shock of this situation set in.

In front of you was no longer your boss, the barrel of the bastard that so many feared. Instead, in his place was a boy who looked like he’d seen a ghost. “Y/N,” he began, it came out in a croak. “Kaz?” You questioned, unsure you took a few steps closer towards him.

He looked up you, with shiny eyes that looked like they burned with tears waiting to be shed. “Kaz, I- Whats going-,” you began, but he held up a gloved hand, silencing you.

“Y/N,” he started once more. “I- I’m not doing any of this out of jealousy, o-or because I think you’re reckless. I’m going this because...” his voice goes quiet, and he looks like he’s trapped in thought. “Because...?” you questioned, eagerly awaiting whatever it was he was going to say.

Kaz inhaled heavily before exhaling, pinching the bridge of his nose and tightly closing his eyes. “Because I can’t lose you.” he finally concluded. And now it was your turn to inhale sharply, shock overtaking you once more.

“W-what do you mean, lose me, Kaz? I-I dont-,” he interrupts you. “This heist is dangerous, Y/N. It’s not like our usual ones, this one could mean certain death for some. I cannot let any of those be you. I won’t. I can’t. You may be my greatest weapon, but you’re also my greatest weakness. W-without you I- I can’t think of what I’d do without you. You’re all I have left, Y/N. The only person I’ve had by my side since I was a child that I have left and I can’t jeopardize that more than I have. So please, please I’m begging you, stay here. For me.”

Your eyes went wide and glassy as he spoke, all the words that tumbled out of his mouth hitting you at full speed while you tried to process what this meant. You rose your bowed head to look him in the eyes, they mirrored your own. Glassy and wide, but with a mix of something you hadn’t seen in ages.

Childlike hope. The same hope he had in his eyes the day you promised you’d be by his side forever when you were both children. His only hope left was to keep you safe, that’s all he wanted. And that’s when you agreed, “okay.” your voice was shaky. “Okay, I’ll stay. But just for this one, deal? As long as you promise me you’ll be okay without me. Promise me you’ll come back to me.”

Kaz felt many things in this moment of what he had just revealed, but mostly he felt relieved at your agreement. If he could ensure you’d be safe for even just an extra day, then he’d make it his mission to make sure this heist went perfectly so he could make it back home to you.

“I promise. I’ll come back to you, Y/N. I always will.”

[polar-equinoxx]

And chapter three!! Apologies for the massive gap between chapters, idk why I’m prolonging it, I finished writing it aaages ago lmao

1280 words

You can probably guess what happens👀😘 (art by me :D)

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

Hot Summer Nights, Chapter III

third person

It’s late once Maverick gets into the bar on Saturday night. Goose told him that he’d be there until eleven, but it’s quarter past one now, so he would’ve left hours ago. Maverick stifles a yawn as he sits down and orders a small Budweiser from the bartender, feeling tired from his late night bike ride around the town, getting to know it better. A few minutes in, he feels someone’s eyes on him.

He doesn’t look up. The only people in here at this time are insomniacs and people who should have left five drinks ago, and he does not want to start a fight.

Only the gaze he feels is not actually belonging to someone who wants to knock him out with a beer bottle.

Maverick can’t stand it any more, so he slowly lifts his head from the wood grain and swipes his eyes around the almost empty bar.

And whose eyes does he lock on? None other than Iceman Kazansky.

Why did it have to be him there? The one pilot he’s desperately been trying to avoid ever since he caught him staring at him from the first lesson. Not because Maverick doesn’t want to be friends with him, only because he knows he’ll get a zap of electricity running through him if he looks at the blond for much longer.

Maverick has feelings for him, and god he wished he didn’t.

But for now, he bites down those same thoughts and tilts his head to the empty stool next to him. Sitting with someone instead of on your own could only mean less of a chance of a fight, right?

Iceman stands up and moves around the circular bar until he gets to him. “When did you get in?”

“Quarter past,” Maverick replies, trying to ignore how that voice of his sounds. “What about you?”

“Like five minutes before that,” Ice sits down next to him, leaning slightly on his elbow.

“Oh right,”

“What are you having?”

“A Budweiser. You?”

“Also a bud,” Ice says, sipping it, but not taking his eyes off of Maverick’s own.

Maverick nods, holding Ice’s gaze.

Ice clears his throat, shifting his gaze to the bartop. “uh… you look.. good,”

What?! Were Maverick’s ears deceiving him?! “… Really? I haven’t done anything,”

He takes a sip of his drink, speaking into it while he still holds it up. “I know, just thought.. I’d say,”

“Oh! Uh, well, thank you,” Maverick smiles at him.

“You’re welcome,” Ice replies, pushing back his hair.

“Your.. your um, hair looks nice,”

“You just sayin’ that because I haven’t put any stuff in it?”

Maverick smirks slightly. “No, just because I haven’t seen it without any stuff in it,”

“Hah, in that case, thanks,”

“You’re welcome,”

Unbeknownst to Maverick, Iceman was feeling the same as he was. He was unable to keep his eyes off of Maverick ever since Goose had introduced them last week in the bar. Iceman, ice cold no mistakes, had fallen deeply in love with Maverick, and he was trying to let him know.

“It’s getting pretty late,” Maverick says, looking at the clock.

Ice nods. “Uh huh,”

Maverick clears his throat as he finishes his glass. “Any reason you’re looking at me like that, Kazansky?” he looks at him, with a mischievous side smile.

Ice blinks. “Like what?”

“Like you can’t take your eyes off me?”

Ice doesn’t say anything. He is flirting with me? Is he? I think he is. In that case, I will just flirt more, back to him. “..Perhaps,”

Maverick is nearly silenced by that one word. “..Wanna go outside?”

“Why?”

Ice’s voice has somehow gotten five times more attractive to Maverick within the past ten seconds.

Iceman finishes his drink and puts the money for the drink on the bartop.

Why has he put that much down? Oh- “Hey- what you don’t have to pay for mi-” Maverick protests.

“I insist,” Ice inclines his head ever so slightly.

Maverick is at a loss for words. Iceman Kazansky just bought me a drink what on earth is going on here?!

“Anyway, did you say we should go outside?”

“Mm- mhm-”

“Alright then,” he gives Maverick a small smile.

Maverick gets to the door before him, so he holds it open for Ice to go through first.

“Thank you,” he says, and Maverick swears he sees a blush on his cheeks.

“S’alright,”

“It’s still pretty warm out,”

“Well, it is a summer night, and summer nights do tend to be hot,”

Ice rolls his eyes, leaning slightly on a streetlamp.

Maverick takes half a second to decide to pin Ice to the streetlamp, go on tiptoes and kiss him.

Iceman stops working.

Oh my god oh my god oh my god he’s kissing me!?

Maverick pulls back, dropping back onto his heels.

Ice is staring at him, mouth slightly open, not quite believing it.

“Flirty enough for you, Tom?” Maverick asks, a grin on his face.

Maverick saying his first name snaps him out of his trance. “Dammit Pete, took your time didn’t you?”

Because, oh. Oh now he knows why Maverick was avoiding him.

Now it’s Maverick’s turn to blush as Ice takes his head in his hands and kisses his cheek.

“..so did you,” he says quietly.

Ice smiles at him. How was he able to keep himself from saying anything to Maverick before?

“Want to walk back? It is coming up to two now,” Ice says, recovered enough to form a short sentence and start walking back to the dorms at the school.

“Sure,” Maverick says, reaching out to hold Ice’s hand, smiling as he does it.

Since it was now ten to two in the morning, no cars were about on the streets that they walked down, and the only light came from the yellow streetlamps dotted strategically on the pavements. No stars could be seen, because of the glow of the streetlamps, but Iceman was sure they’d be some out there tonight. It wasn’t cold either, since it was mid June. This was the coldest it would probably get all night.

“Since when?”

“Since when what?” Ice replies.

“How long have you wanted to kiss me for?” Maverick asks, like it was just a regular question.

“Maverick-”

“What?! I’m curious!”

Ice sighs. He’s always been like this, and now it seems Ice’ll have to get used to it. “Since Goose introduced us,”

“The first time we met?!” he says, shocked.

“Have you ever heard of love at first sight?”

Maverick laughs, making Ice blush a little, though he couldn’t see it right now. “Yeah course I have,”

“You?” Ice decides to fire the question back at him.

“When I caught you staring at me in class,” he says, looking very unimpressed but not surprised at his own question.

“Which time was that?” Ice asks, smirking.

“I-” Maverick sighs. “The first day-”

“You’re as bad as me,”

“Shut up,”

Now that they were passing under a streetlamp, Iceman could see the furious blush on Maverick’s cheeks. “Whyy?”

He rolls his eyes and frowns at him. “Just because..”

“I’m not going to tell anyone, if that’s what you’re worried about…”

“I know. Just want to…” Maverick’s voice has changed ever so slightly.

“Just want to whaat, Mav?”

Maverick shuts Ice up by kissing him again, which makes the other pilot lose all of his flirtatious spike.

“God, if I’d only known that it was this easy to shut you up, I would’ve done it in the lockers last week,”

Iceman smiles, feeling oh so full. “You could have anyway. I wouldn’t have minded,”

He shakes his head. “Thanks for the advice, Ice,”

“Anytime, Maverick,”

[nickambrose]

It was a shitshow. A merry-go-round of iridescent haunts. Though not every misshapen ghost was the expected slivery see-through substance. Would it be better to pack the night in? This was supposedly what Halloween was all about, and in some ways it was probably a gift. Except Nick was watching the figure of his mum call out to him. There were some things he didn’t really want to interrogate. Instead, he honed in on Kaz partly because he looked like he’d actually shit himself. Nick snorted, laughter coming out in reels as he held himself high as if to claim the chaos as his handiwork. “Y’know, you look like a riiiight twat.”

Nick hummed, this would all resolve itself with another shot. He disappeared to free a bottle of ciroc from underneath the bar. “God fuck y’know years ago Mik made me go to this…shit what do you call it. I don’t know some haunted house crap they chase you with chainsaws that she-bang.” 

‘Hey kid…’ 

Yeah, yup, nope the ghost of his mother crying out hey kid was not creepy. Nick unscrewed and popped the lid. “You wanna know the truth?” He was speaking with a little too much enthusiasm for someone who was about to knock back neat vodka. Good job Mik was nowhere to be seen. “I didn’t plan any of this and pretty sure that’s my…fucking mum.” She looked gormless, her hair matted with blood and what remained of her dress torn at the knee. Important to distinguish, because she was standing, floating, on what was only one black-blue leg. 

‘¡Escucha!’

“Real mum. Dead mum. Not alive but somehow…she’s here.” Nick chuckled this would’ve been the point, if his night-fuzed memory served him correctly, that he’d been in deep shit. “You should wear pvc more often.” He said, in Kaz’s direction before summing up the courage to turn to his mum. “Welcome to the end of the world mum.” Nick threw his arms out wide, spilling a good portion of booze in the process over some unwitting patrons. “Christ you don’t look good. I’m Nicholas, Nick, now.” Get that hastily out of the way. Then introductions? What was he supposed to do? “This is Kaz I guess.”

Sleep was always difficult for Kaz, even as a child. It needed to be coaxed, coddled, even bribed. So it was very weird to wake up in his stall, in the middle of a party no less. No memory of how he decided on a nap, and not like him at all.

But, the scavenger chalked it up to going too hard too soon after an injury. Orchid flowers given to him rested on a workbench for safe keeping. Kaz noted a small puddle of water beside them, one that wasn't initially there. He ticked through various explanations-- no water source in the trading area, no recent rain, etcetera. However, Kaz flew too high to spend much more time on the curiosity. Off to the after party for him...

Kaz took a shot offered and slapped the glass back on the bar. And then he heard a sudden, out of place sound. Slosh, slosh, slosh. Like someone walked through knee-deep water behind him. Then, the sensation of water churned around his hand. He yanked his hand away and he spun to look. What he saw: If water could be suspended in air like smoke. Wet plumes circulated on multiple currents and obscured a figure at the center.

A voice came from the center of this ominous water feature. 'Kazzy... it's me.'

He staggered backwards to escape, interrupting a deep conversation between Freddie Krueger and Edward Scissorhands (also not great, considering he had a deep cut stitched up on his neck).

Kaz veered and kept the momentum moving forward. As he stumbled to further point in the room, he heard a different voice chase after him: Nick.

And once Kaz came to a halt, someone else piped up too. "Huh? See what, what am I supposed--" Kaz let out a deep shout. Holy shit, well it was a Halloween party.

He backed up to stand with Nick with a sigh, hand over his heart. "Okay, you fucking got me. Scared the shit out of me, but. That was... that was good. Had me convinced I heard..." He trailed off with a shake of his head. (He might have a couple cigs on him, but didn't feel like sharing).

Kaz gestured to the older woman caked in blood and a presumed costume-y death. "Obviously not real. Looks realistic though. But I'm pretty fucked up, gotta admit. Where'd you get all this from?" Then, a look around. "Who else is dressed up then? Anyone else gonna jump out at me?"

[syllvane]

longing- matthias helvar x reader

a/n: for someone who claims not to like angst, i sure write it a lot!

You will never have a life with Matthias Helvar.

You are both child soldiers and the two of you will never have a life beyond the one that you have in the Barrel.

There will be no honest jobs for either of you, no dancing in the refrigerator light, no bringing home flowers, no picturesque wedding.

Neither of you will ever quite be able to wash off the blood that stains your hands, marking you as the murderers that you both are.

Still though, it’s nice to pretend.

It’s nighttime in Ketterdam and although it’s not quiet, it’s not as loud as it was earlier in the evening.

You’re sitting on the rooftop of the building adjacent to the Slat and Matthias is right besides you, gazing out over the city.

“If we got a house here, where would you want to live?”

“Not in the Barrel,” He said immediately and you laughed quietly, almost imperceptibly. “I don’t know. I guess I never… never really thought about it.”

Of course he hadn’t.

You don’t blame him; you’d never thought about it either.

“Can we afford the financial district?” He asked after an extended period of silence and you smiled in the darkness.

Not in a million years.

“We can afford the Grand Palace for all I care.”

Although you couldn’t see him in the darkness, you were willing to bet a million kruge that he had just raised his eyebrows.

“Tempting, but I think I’ll settle for the financial district. Could we… could we paint it light blue?” You remembered the colorful assortment of houses that you had seen in Fjerda, the eccentrically colored houses and the colorful roofs that they sported. He missed his home more than he let on. Before you could open your mouth, he spoke again. “It’s stupid, it’d probably get dirty the second we finish painting it.”

“Then we’ll clean it. Every day, if we have to.”

He hummed.

“What about you? I picked the color of the house, what do you want?”

I want you. I want a life with you.

“Flower boxes on every windowsill. Flower boxes filled with spring starflowers.”

“Why those?” He asked, the tiniest bit of curiosity making its way into his voice.

“It’s stupid.”

“I don’t believe you.”

You glared at him though there was no malice in the look.

“We had some in the garden, when I was growing up. They just remind me of home.”

“I told you it wasn’t stupid,” He said matter-of-factly and you rolled your eyes.

“If Kaz had heard me say any of that, he would’ve whacked me over the head with his cane for being so sentimental,” You grumbled and you felt Matthias stiffen, as if there was a real threat to you in that moment.

“I would have him on the ground before he hurt you.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” You said, leaning your head against his shoulder. “What else do you want?”

Before he could answer, gunfire rang through the city, only lasting a couple of seconds.

But just like that, you had been pulled out of this life that the two of you were creating and back into the Barrel, back into reality.

Matthias held you a little tighter than before and you weren’t sure if he had even realized it.

And although you were perfectly capable of defending yourself, it was nice to be held, even if only for a little bit.

“I want to grow old with you. Whether it be in the Slat or in the Grand Palace of Ravka, I want to grow old with you.”

The sentiment made your heart ache.

“I’m not going to be the one telling King Nikolai that he has to move out.”

Matthias let out a small laugh and you relished in the sound.

“I’ll do it, only because I love you so much.”

There is a comfortable silence for a little bit, the two of you simply watching the various going ons of the drunk patrons stumbling around.

“Would you be happy? With a normal life.”

He doesn’t respond immediately and his silence betrays him.

“Would you?”

You don’t answer either because that is the truth of the matter: being gentle and loving and domestic isn’t in his nature and it surely isn’t in yours.

You are not humans, you are instruments of war, forged in fire.

You are not meant for gentle touches and longing stares and yet here you are next to him, tucked safely into his arm.

It would be nice to stay here, even just for a little while longer.

You don’t remember going back to the Slat or falling asleep for that matter, but when you wake up, you are tucked safely in bed, a fresh bouquet of spring starflowers on your dresser.

They are right next to a note you scribbled last night, reminding yourself to look for blue paint to surprise Matthias with.

(You will not have a life with Matthias Helvar. But it is not for lack of wanting.)

[xsamsharons]

shooting lessons - jesper fahey.

pairing: jesper fahey x reader.

genre/warning: fluff.

words: 1.4k

summary: who would have thought getting jesper to teach you how to use his guns would lead to finally kissing him?

“Oh for Saint’s sake! Cut it out, you two.” were the words that could be heard by you and Jesper, and probably everyone else within a ten mile radius thanks to the volume Nina had decided to give to her sentence, while you had a gun in your hand pointed at an apple sitting on top of a garbage can.

The reason you were in this situation right now, was because you could never give the dregs too much free time, or else they’d start making stupid decisions. Usually, everyone would take turns, and the stupid decisions would never be made by the same person too many times in a row, however, it seemed like you and Jesper were on a streak. Last week, it had been breaking into a rich old guy’s house with the sole purpose of just laying around their living room for a few hours, and then head back to the Slat: you hadn’t stolen anything, hadn’t killed anyone, and hadn’t even broken anything… or anything that was too expensive, anyway. Three days prior, it had been trying to see how many jewelry houses you could rob in a row using the same line: ‘My husband and i are looking for an expensive ring’, while Jesper sneaked in through the back door. And, finally, it was having convinced Jesper to teach you how to shoot his precious revolvers.

It had been after breakfast, while you were just running around the city looking for something Kaz had told you to get for your next heist, that you didn’t really pay attention to, when he’d stated how he was getting restless again and needed new activities to fill his day. Three steps later, it’s like a light bulb had appeared on top of your head as Jesper observed your face light up and eyes grow wide with excitement.

“You could teach me how to shoot!” you’d stated enthusiastically, to which Jesper chuckled.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea if we want everyone to keep their eyes, love.” he answered, watching your wide eyed expression transform into a frown.

“How do you know I wouldn't be good at it?” you questioned, crossing your arms.

“How would you grab it?” he answered with a question of his own, handing you one of the guns he kept with him at all times. He watched as you grabbed the gun in a way that could only be described as life threatening, and not for the right people. “Stop, stop.” He panicked, and grabbed the revolver from your hands. “That was horrible, darling.” he laughed.

“See? That’s why i need you to teach me!” you tried again, grabbing his right arm with both your hands and pleading with your eyes. “What if i’m in danger and the only way to get out of it is by shooting people but then I suddenly remember how a certain Zemeni boy refused to teach me so now I have nothing to do but hope for the best?” you said dramatically, acting out and dramatizing the situation with your hand movements.

“How manipulative!” Jesper gasped sarcastically. “But fine, only we’d need to do it at the Slat for the sake of everyone out on the streets right now.” he finally gave in with a smirk.

You let out a celebratory exclamation that caused him to throw his head back with laughter, before grabbing his hand and dragging him back to the spot he had suggested. Once there, you let Jesper set up everything you were going to need, and you made sure to let everyone in the building know that it was probably in their best interest to keep away from the room u and Jesper had claimed as the practice room.

The disregarded and empty beer bottles that remained from the night before were scattered all around the floor, and the upside down garbage can looked like it would fall apart any minute, which is why Jesper decided that the two were a match made in heaven, and set them up against the wall opposite to the door, walking you to stand in front of them with your arms raised and hands outstretched ready to grab the hand he handed to you. Learning from his past mistake, this time he came to stand behind you and press against your back, using his hands to guide your fingers into the right positions, and smirking down at you when he noticed the goosebumps that erupted on your exposed arms.

“Am I making you nervous, darling?” He breathed against your ear, bending down to make sure his lips were touching the side of your head as they moved.

“I wouldn’t tease the person holding the gun.” you replied, your voice sounding weaker and less threatening than you had wanted it to.

“I would, if the person holding the gun had no idea how to use it.” he replied, and bent his pointer finger causing it to push your own one backwards to pull the trigger. You let out a scream at the unexpected noise of glass shattering and jumped, causing you to lean more into Jesper behind you, and feeling his chest shake with laughter from where you were pressed against him.

“Jes! What the hell?” you spun around, holding the gun down by your side with one hand and punching his chest with the other. “A warning would’ve been nice.” you said, releasing a sigh after the moment passed.

“You wouldn’t get a warning in your hypothetical life threatening situation you used to guilt trip me into teaching you.” he raised his eyebrows, walking closer to you, causing you to walk backwards and collide against the wall behind you when he didn’t stop.

“How would i shoot with one hand?” you asked, raising the hand you were holding his revolver with, and moving it to stand between the two of you to prevent him from moving forward and coming closer to you. Not because you didn’t want him to, but because you didn’t know how you’d hide your erratic breathing if he did. He chuckled and looked down at the gun between you, then back up to meet your eyes, and finally grabbed the gun with the hand that wasn’t pressed against the wall behind you.

With one swift movement, he moved the gun to rest upon his opposite shoulder and fired, knocking the garbage can the beer bottle had previously been laying on top of over, and making you close your eyes with a gasp. “You really should get used to that sound.” he chuckled lowly, and you opened your eyes to gaze up at him once more.

He had started to bend down towards your face when Nina’s scream reached your ears. “Oh for Saint’s sake! Cut it out, you two.” she said, pounding on the door with her fist to get your attention, as if the sound of her voice already wasn’t enough.

Jesper chuckled from above you, his laugh matching your own, and leaned down to press his forehead against yours. “I’m not the only one who dislikes the sound.” you smiled, and he released a frustrated huff of air. “What?” you asked at the sound of it.

“She could have picked a better time to interrupt.” He rolled his eyes.

“Why? Were we in the middle of something?” you smirked, causing him to pick up his head from where it had been resting against yours, an incredulous look in his eyes before he caught the teasing expression adorning your face.

“That was cruel.” he shook his head, his smirk mirroring your own.

“Consider it payback for the lack of warning.” you shrugged, raising your hands to hook them around his neck and pull his ridiculously tall frame down towards you. His own hands came up to grab the sides of your waist and pull you inhumanly closer to him, making you laugh at the force with which your body collided against his.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for the longest time.” he admitted against your lips, and you rolled your eyes.

“Then how about you just shut up and do it?” you challenged.

“Well, If you are going to insist like this, darling, i guess i’m gonna hav-” he couldn’t finish his sarcastic remark because you crashed your lips against his and raised your hands to disappear beneath his hair, pulling on it and causing him to release a sigh into your mouth.

You were the first one to speak once you pulled away due to lack of oxygen. “Worth the wait, darling?” you asked, exaggerating the pronunciation of the pet name he had previously used to teach you.

“I’ll let you know once I can remember my name.” he answered, causing you to laugh and kiss him again, and as many times as you wanted to.

[triptuckers]

Facing reality - Jesper Fahey

Request: nope Pairing:  Jesper Fahey x reader Summary:  you’re absolutely broken after you lose jesper. but there might be one thing that could cheer you up  Warnings: mentions of death, lots of angst, grieving, yall are gonna hate me so much for this one alsdfsdfj Word count:  2.5K of sad, sad angst  A/N: why do I do this to myself you might ask? I have no fucking clue. anyways enjoy reading?? I guess ?? 

Inej walks through the door, and you expect Jesper to follow her, cheerfully announcing their arrival. But something’s wrong. Inej is leaning heavily to one side, and she looks very pale.

But more importantly, Jesper doesn’t follow her.

She walks to the table you’re sitting at, and Matthias helps her sit down. Nina immediately starts to treat her injuries, and Inej turns to you.

‘We got separated.’ she says. You can see in her eyes how sorry she is, the guilt eating away at her. ‘I kept searching for him, but I couldn’t find him. I had to come back, I would’ve collapsed.’ 

As she’s speaking, you feel the colour draining from your face. You realise your worst fear had become reality. You’d lost your light, you’d lost Jesper. Inej and Jesper got separated and if Inej couldn’t find him, you doubted anyone could. 

But the least you could do is try. 

After Nina had finished taking care of Inej, you were out the door, heading to the place where Inej and Jesper had been. There had to be a sign of him. Something that could lead you to him. He couldn’t just disappear like that. He couldn’t leave you behind so easily.

The crows help you search for him. The next days you barely see the Slat or the Crow Club, you’re out on the street all day. You search everywhere, you feel like you’ve seen every corner of the city. But there’s no sign of Jesper.

One by one, they all stopped searching. Too much time had passed, they had looked everywhere. The chances of finding him were getting smaller and smaller. 

But you couldn’t just give up like that. You’re the only one who keeps going. You had to find a sign of him, you had to know the truth. You couldn’t face reality just yet, not when there is a possibility Jesper is still somewhere.

Jesper was your everything, you couldn’t do this without him. You didn’t know how to. You were afraid what would happen to you if you were on your own, without Jesper by your side.

When you were the only one still searching for a sign of him, each of the crows tried to get you to realise the truth. But you were denying all of their claims, telling them people in the Barrel knew how to hide their tracks, but that there had to be at least something. A lead, even if it was a small one. One mistake they made was all you needed.

You barely sleep, going over every part of the city you’ve searched in your mind. You’re ignoring your duties, even if Kaz asks you to join him for an important job, you refuse. You’re only focused on Jesper, and on finding him. You get so caught up in it, you start to ignore everything and everyone.

You’re out the door at the first light of day, and don’t return until it’s deep into the night. You fall down on your bed, completely drained, only to lay awake and continue the search in the morning.

The others are still trying to get you to see the truth, but you refuse to listen to them, let alone believe them.

It takes weeks, but eventually Kaz is the one to get through to you.

You’re on your way out the door, after a quick breakfast. Just as you’re about to walk through the door and head outside, Kaz appears in front of you. 

You don’t even look at him as you move to walk past him, but he stops you with his cane, strategically planting it between you and the door.

‘We need to talk.’ he says.

‘I don’t think we do.’ you say.

‘It wasn’t a request, Y/N.’ he says. ‘Upstairs.’ 

In that moment, you’re seriously considering just shoving him aside and walking out the door anyway. But when you look at his eyes, you see something you had never seen in them before. Worry. 

Kaz sees you hesitating, and starts to walk up the stairs. After some time, you decide to follow him. 

When you get to his office, he’s sitting behind his desk. Kaz gestures for you to sit down and you do so, after closing the door. You look at him, waiting for him to talk.

‘I know how you feel.’ says Kaz.

You scoff and open your mouth to protest, but Kaz holds up a hand, cutting you off.

‘I once lost someone close to me as well.’ he says. 

His words catch you off guard. You didn’t know this. 

‘I still miss him every day. I think about him every day. I know this is not something you want to hear, but you have to accept the fact Jesper’s not coming back.’ says Kaz.

‘But he-’ ‘Is gone, Y/N. You have to admit that to yourself. You lost Jesper. Don’t lose yourself as well.’ 

You look at him, not knowing what to say. Most of the times, Kaz is right. you can’t deny that. But this time, you don’t want him to be right. Still, he seems sincere, talking about the person he lost. 

Part of you tells you that you can’t give up. That you need to be out there, searching for Jesper. But you’ve been searching for so long. And there hasn’t been the slightest trace of him. Maybe Kaz is right. Maybe they all are.

Jesper is gone. And he’s not coming back to you. 

Your body feels like lead when you walk down the stairs. Your mind feels empty and it isn’t until you look up, that you realise you walked to Jesper’s room instead of your own. An old habit. 

You look at the door and think back to all the times you walked through it. Nights after a tiring job, but Jesper was still making jokes, if only to hear your laugh. Or when you’d sneak downstairs to get a cup of coffee and trying to be quiet as you opened the door again, not wanting to wake him. 

With a heavy heart, you push the door open. It’s still the same as it was on the morning Inej and Jesper left for their job. The bed is a mess, the blankets crumbled into a big pile, and one of the pillows is on the floor. 

You had spent so many nights talking to him, laughing with him as he held you close. So many mornings you’d woken up next to him, arms wrapped around each other. You’d never wake up next to him again.

Tears fill your eyes as you fully realise you’d never see him again. Jesper wouldn’t be there to make you laugh. You would no longer be able to cuddle for five more minutes in the morning. He’d no longer whisper words of affection in your ear. 

It all seemed so unfair. Why did it have to be that specific job that went wrong? Why did Jesper have to be the one to not make it back? Why did he have to leave you behind?

It seemed like hours later when you finally leave his room. You feel numb as you make your way to your own room. Everything suddenly felt so heavy. 

Even though it’s barely morning, you pull off your boots and lay down in bed. Your thoughts are filled with memories of Jesper and countless what ifs when you finally fall into a troubled sleep.

When you wake, it’s well into the afternoon. You’re hungry, but don’t have the energy to get up and go downstairs. You move to roll over to your other side, but stop when you notice tear stains on your pillow. Had you been crying in your sleep?

You shake your head and try to drown out the thoughts of Jesper. It was no use thinking of him. No good would come from it. You roll over and try to focus on everything else but Jesper. But time after time, your mind finds its way back to him. 

You spend the next days like that. You don’t know how much time has passed. You lay in bed, and the other crows try to get you to get up and do something. 

But you’re exhausted. From not sleeping and all of the grieving. It’s hard. You wonder if you could ever go back to the person you were before you met Jesper. You wonder if that person even exists. It didn’t surprise you if you’d never be able to accept it. 

You’ve lost all track of time when a hard knocking on your door wakes you. 

You roll over, pulling the blanket up to cover your ears. You appreciated your friends, but they could really be a pain in the ass. You didn’t want to get up, and they knew it. Why on earth would they bang on your door like that?

‘Y/N!’ 

It’s Nina. Only you don’t know why she’s knocking. Inej is the only one who knocks. The others, like Nina, don’t even bother anymore. They just enter your room because they know you’re laying in bed and not getting up.

‘Get up!’ says Nina loudly, still knocking on the door.

‘Get lost Nina!’ you shout back at her, pulling the blanket up so it covers your entire head. You really didn’t feel like fighting today.

‘Open up!’ she says.

‘No.’ you say. ‘You can just let yourself in.’

‘Not doing that today!’ she says, and she starts to knock louder. ‘I can stand here all day. I'll have Inej bring up food and drinks. I'm gonna be here a long time, Y/N!’

You groan and cover your ears with your hands. It doesn’t exactly help. You can still hear her knocking loudly on your door. Maybe if you ignored her, she’d eventually go away.

But Nina is determined. She doesn’t stop knocking, not even when someone else outside your room shouts at her to stop. If she didn’t stop soon, someone was actually going to make her do so. Probably by using their fists rather than their words.

You sigh heavily and push the blanket off of you. You rub your hands over your face and get up. Your hair is a mess and you’re dressed in a comfortable pair of pants and one of Jesper’s old shirts. You couldn’t bear the thought of him not being around, and the scent of his clothing gave you comfort.

Nina is still knocking loudly on the door when you open it, annoyance written all over your face. Nina looks like the exact opposite of you, a bright smile on her face. 

‘What.’ you say, glaring at her.

‘You look awful.’ is the first thing she says.

‘Great. Thanks.’ you say sarcastically and you close the door, but Nina plants her foot in front of it. 

‘I didn’t just want you to get up so I could tell you that you should take a shower.’ says Nina. ‘I've got something that might cheer you up!’

‘Pass.’ you say. 

‘Just hear me out.’ says Nina.

‘Nina, I appreciate it, but I doubt there’s anything that could make me happy right now.’ you say.  

‘And yet I am known for my miracles.’ she says, still smiling happily. 

You sigh and roll your eyes. ‘You got me out of bed, that’s not a miracle but just a result of you being annoying.’ you say. 

‘Behold.’ she says dramatically. ‘My miracle work at its finest.’

She reaches out to something next to her, and pulls it toward her.

You feel like your heart stops and all the air has disappeared from your lungs. It’s another nightmare. Saints, you have to wake up now. You can’t do it anymore.

Jesper is standing next to Nina, grinning down at you. 

You stare up at him, wide eyed. He’s got a scar on his cheek that wasn’t there before. There’s bags under his eyes, and his clothes are messy and there are stains all over them. Somehow he still manages to look good.

‘Hello, love.’ he says.

Tears slowly fall down your cheek as you reach out to touch him. The second you feel his skin when you put your hand on his cheek, the tears start to stream down your cheeks.

‘Don’t cry now, darling. You’ll mess up your beautiful face.’ he says with a wink.

Your knees give out and you let out a choked sob. It’s really him.

Jesper is quick to catch you, pulling you up as he steadies the two of you.

‘It’s alright.’ he says softly. ‘I've got you, I'm here.’

‘I thought you were dead.’ you choke out, clutching onto him, holding on for dear life, as if he’d vanish if you let him go. You repeat the words over and over again as Jesper slowly rubs circles on your back to calm you down.

‘I'm right here, I'm alright.’ he says. ‘I'm not going anywhere.’

You slightly pull back so you can look up at him. Jesper removes one hand from your back to wipe the tears off of your cheeks.

‘Is it weird that I still think you’re the most gorgeous person I've ever seen, even though your eyes are all red and puffy?’ he says, making you chuckle.

‘I don’t get it.’ you say. ‘I couldn’t find you. I was looking for you, I couldn’t find you.’

‘Nasty slavers.’ says Jesper. ‘Very good at hiding their tracks. They didn’t think I could make it out. But they forgot to keep in mind I'd worked countless of jobs with Kaz. I'm no master thief, but I can pick some locks.’

Jesper looks down at you and smiles. Just as you smile back at him, his smile turns into a frown.

‘I'm sorry.’ he says.

‘For what?’ you ask him.

‘Not being able to come back to you sooner.’ he says. ‘I really tried, I'm sorry it took so long.’

You reach out to hold his face in both of your hands. ‘Jesper, I thought I'd lost you. But you’re here. Please don’t apologise.’ 

He smiles and presses a kiss to your forehead. When he pulls back, he rests his forehead against yours and you close your eyes.

‘Now, a little birdie told me you haven’t left your room in weeks.’ says Jesper. 

You pull back and glare at Nina.

‘He asked about you, what was I supposed to say?’ she says.

‘Let’s get you into some decent clothing and fix your hair, and we can go downstairs and get you some coffee, alright?’ says Jesper. 

‘Alright.’ you say. 

You take a few steps back, into your room. Jesper follows you and closes the door. He walks over to your closet to get you some clean clothes, but you pull him back by his arm.

‘One more thing.’ you say.

You pull him in for one more hug, holding on to him tightly. ‘I love you.’ you say. 

You feel how Jesper kisses the top of you head. ‘I love you too, darling.’ he says. ‘It’s good to be home again.’

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

[bookns]

I see these all the time, so this is what I think the crows favorite Taylor, Swift, album and track will be:

Nina: It’s either some thing from Reputation, which is surprising, but I got my reasons I swear, or obviously red The reason why, I say, Reputation to Nina is because she rebuilt herself in that year, that she was a ketterdam, and she was able to fall in love quite like Taylor Swift.

Jasper: he is a 1989 baby. I had to say it. Somebody had to say it. He absolutely loves cruel summer though. He also vibes London boy but it’s making me second-guess my idea of him being a 1989 baby because he vibes in London boy, loves Cruel Summer, is a Me! Stan, and will ever stand for ME!

Matthias: He loves Debut. I cannot explain it but he is a country lad and his favorite song is Invisible and Cold as You. He also likes to believe that one day he and Nina will be the couple from Mary’s song.

Kaz: most people would say he’s a Reputation Stan, and I do respect that because I do agree. That man has more romantic thoughts, and he is obsessed with revenge, and Reputation has more love songs, and lover, and obviously is obsessed with revenge. But I also would like to think as of one thing for Evermore. It’s his comfort album. He loves closure. And he would think of Coney Island at this place like the at almost because before he showed up, nobody went there, unless they had to go there in case of life or death. And he changed it into this place of big deal, and he reinvented itself so I like to think he has a special soft spot for Coney Island

Wylan: He is a 1989 baby. I could also see him dancing to Fearless specifically the songs Change and Untouchable. Those are my favorite songs from fearless maybe that’s why but also that I can definitely see that. But back to 1989 he likes 1989 and he loves dancing around in the kitchen in the lay of the fridge to You are in Lover with Jesper. This is canon now. I said so.

My favorite crow Inej: she loves every single Taylor Swift album. I swear to God nobody’s gonna convince me she does not love every single album. She loves Debut because it understands the whole issues of feeling invisible your damn life and she doesn’t know what to do. She loves Fearless because it’s about change. It’s about Taylor and therefore Inej being able to make her dream come true. She loves Speak Now because it is about the loss of innocence, but the gain of respect and approval to those who you care about. She loves Red because that heartbreak, the idea of a boy you love mistreating you. She treated by many different people and believes that one day she will forgive forgive them which is why I can say she loves Reputation. She loves Lover because she is a Lover girl. That’s my reasoning - she is a Lover girl. She loves folklore because the deep messages and the way you can rewrite the lyrics to do a whole different perspective which of she does. She loves evermore because it gives a sense of home that nothing else can give her. She loves. Loves. Loves. Midnight!! She loves and obsesses over the idea of revenge, most of which to just take back the girl heard that was taken from her, which is why I can say her favorite song is, Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve. But she is an avid listener to Karma and really does love the idea of her boyfriend being karma. She loves listening to vigilante shit when she’s putting on her eyeliner in the morning (her and Nina do it each morning together). Her and Mattias have the special connection over the song Labyrinth because Uh Oh, I’m falling in love. She loves Lavender Haze because 1)her favorite color is lavender, and no one is going to tell me otherwise. 2)she loves the idea of being obsessed with somebody and not caring about what others think of her fight of survival. She had to fight to survive her trauma and past, but she doesn’t care because she got people cared about. She’s got Kaz, who cares about her. She believes that The Great War is her song with the Crows. She believes that their fight to stay alive in Ketterdam was their Great War. That is was the fire their lives. She continues to fight that eventually proceeds into Bigger than a Whole Sky which continuously remind her, Nina, Kaz, Jasper, and Wylan of their fallen friend.



[vanilla-vivillon]

Hey so I have some ✨Kanej✨ kid headcannons that I’m gonna bother you with

Kaz and Inej never really thought they could have kids

Even without there problems with being intimate

Barrel bosses weren’t suited for spouses and children

And with Inej being gone 75% of the year hunting slavers it was never something they thought they could have

Until one day when Kaz meets a small seven year old suli girl

Kaz was 30 and with him being the king of Ketterdam he kept close track of everyone entering and leaving Ketterdam.

No one could get in or out of there without him knowing.

So imagine his suprise when he walked into his office to find some kid sorting through his papers

At first he simply couldn’t believe it

Then he thought she could be one of his dregs children

With business booming Kaz had more members then ever.

In fact being dregs was more seen as being an employee then a gang member

Especially with how many casinos Brekker owned

So he was positive one of his members lost track of her

He tapped his cane to the floor “You shouldn’t be in here”

The girl looked up from where she was playing with the things on his desk

Straight Black hair that reached her shoulders and watchful hazel eyes peered up at him. She was wearing a black shirt and a small hood. She looked sorta like a spider.

Could she be a spy? Kaz thought

No

She was far to young

Unless was heavily tailored...

Okay he was definitely grasping at straws

“Where are your parents?”

The girl didn’t answer instead looking at him

As if she was sizing him up

This girl was Kerch born and bred alright

“Gone”

Kaz sighed.

An orphan would be annoying to deal with

And how the hell did she even get inside the slat?

“Alright get out then” Kaz snapped

Suddenly Kaz felt the familiar tingling in his neck.

“Kaz what’s going on?” Inej said peering I to the office where the suli girl was

“Who’s this?” Inej asked

“Yes wonderful question Captain who are you?” Kaz snarled turning towards the pest of a human.

Her back stood a bit straighter

“Azriel”

“Is that your real name?” Kaz asked

“No”

“Alright”

“Inej I found this girl here in my office” Kaz said finally turning to Inej

“Your an orphan?” Inej asked

Azriel slowly nodded

“Then I can bring you to the orphanage” Inej said

Azriel hopped off Kazs desk “alright”

Inej picked Azriel up “alright I’ll take her to St. Anastasia’s and then we can finally chat”

Inej had just gotten back from a four month long expedition in the southern colonies and Kaz wasn’t to happy to have to wait Even more

“Then i guess I am doomed to wait for you here” he said sarcastically

Inej laughed the laugh and went with the girl

Kaz and Inej thought that would be the end of that but it seemed the universe wasn’t done toying with them

Kaz was tired

He always was but this time was different

Lately more and more priests and politicians have come to clean up the barrel

This would’ve been a simple annoyance but the problem was they were working. Certain parts of the barrel were better

Really they weren’t even fixing the problem

Just erecting some statues of Kerch Saints

But they were driving away business and Kaz couldn’t keep ignoring them

He could kill them,

Then They’d become martyrs

No he needed a better solution

On top of that Azriel kept getting into the slat

The second time she came back was a lot more destructive

Somehow the little demon got her grubby hands on some pink dye

And the next day a quarter of his members had to go bargain with The Razor Gulls wearing bright pink clothing

It was pretty easy to figure out who did it when kaz found some documents about the laundry gone from his desk. The very desk where Azriel sat on days ago

Azriel was a pain

The priests were a pain

The only balm was that Inej was here and would be for a couple months more

And Kaz loved his ever patient Inej but it seemed this girl was getting on her nerves to.

But Kazs brilliant brain thought he had a solution.

Azriel walked up to him. Now that he saw her again she looked mostly the same. Same cape and hood and black clothing she wore when they met

The timid teacher at the orphanage shook a little

It’s not every day Kaz Brekkker shows up asking about an orphan

“You can leave” Kaz Brekker said

The teacher rushes away hurriedly

“You dyed dregs laundry pink

With a small smirk Azriel said “Yes I did”

She was probably quite pleased with herself

She also has evidently no regard for her life

“I would like to offer you a job”

“I’ll start tomorrow”

“You don’t know what the job is”

“You want me to get rid of the priests”

“That’s right”

A small part of Kazs brain thought that she was to young

But then he was only a bit older when he started working

“Head to the slat and go to my office I’ll get someone to get you a room

Azriel had been working for Kaz for a month now and already three priests have been driven out

It seemed Azriel was quite effective at her job

He had taken a likening towards her although he would never admit it

She was smart

And had quite the sense of humor

“You like her” Jesper said after Azriel walks out of his office after giving a report

“She’s a good employee”

Ignoring Kaz Jesper continued “if she’s your employee why does she live in your apartment?”

“Easier to keep an eye on her. The other dregs haven’t forgotten that there clothes are still pastel pink.”

“Plus” Kaz added “Inej likes her”

It was true Inej had taken a liking to the troublemaker. The girl spoke her Kerch well and spoke not a kick of Suli

Even tho Azriel seemed to enjoy Inejs company she kept locked lips on where exactly she came from.

One day she just appeared in Ketterdam and that was that.

“Is she like your kid?” Jesper pressed

Jesper and wylan themselves had adopted a few and fostered many. Wylan in fact helped start St. Anastasias Orphanage

“Of course not Jesper don’t be a podge”

Of course Jesper was right when five months later Kaz and Inej signed semi legal papers adopting her

Hey y’all this is my first head canon thingie. I take asks about anything in the Grishaverse. Give this a reblog it you made it to the end. Sorry for any grammar errors I made.

Part two https://dablackdahlia.tumblr.com/post/650718731093327872/the-black-dahlia