#more interesting than many of their adult entries?

[cenvast]

Rin, Kabru, & Toshiro: On Asian Identity

I have a lot of thoughts about Rin's identity as a second-generation Asian refugee and how it impacts her relationships with other characters, especially Kabru.

I see Rin as being Indonesian specifically. The name "Rinsha" is of Muslim Arabic origin. In real life, Indonesia has one of the largest Muslim populations in the world, so what might seem like a geographically incompatible name works if Rin is the Dungeon Meshi equivalent of Indonesian.

Rin also says that her parents came from an island that isn't Wa, and Indonesia is a series of islands.

In her Adventurer's Bible entry, she's described as having "no real knowledge or attachment to the East" because "she's second-generation." She also clarifies to Mickbell that she was "born here." From this character description and her dialogue, we get the sense that Rin doesn't really identify with being Asian.

As noted in this Rin masterpost, a large part of this is because she was denied her parents' cultural identity by the elves. They likely suppressed any cultural markers she had and denied her information about her heritage. Since she wasn't born in the Eastern Archipelago and her parents died when she was young, she understandably hasn't inherited a lot of cultural knowledge.

Rin seems to have internalized ethnic self-hatred. Her disconnect from the East and her unwillingness to remedy that disconnect suggests that she has shame surrounding her Asian identity.

Again, she doesn't have many opportunities to interact with people from her parents' homeland, and her trauma also impacts her behavior. Remembering her parents is probably painful, considering the horrible way they died, and since they're her main connection to her cultural heritage, it makes sense that she wouldn't broach the topic.

You could also argue that Rin identifies more with her Northern identity than her Eastern identity since she was born and raised in the North for the first eleven years of her life, and as a result, she doesn't feel the need to connect with her parents' culture. But considering her home was presumptively still steeped in her parents' culture and her main association with the North is probably her parents' murders, this seems unlikely.

It's important to note how different her experiences are from the story's other Asian characters', like Toshiro's, for example. Toshiro travels to the Island as an adult of his own volition (technically, his father's). He's completely culturally Eastern. In comparison, Rin's parents fled from the East. Her family had to assimilate into an unfamiliar Northern culture, and later, she was "raised" by western elves, who are coded as colonizers in text. She seems to have internalized the elves' suppression of her culture and the way assimilating to the North required them to discard parts of their heritage. Her lack of interest in her culture seems learned.

Her strong attachment to Kabru further complicates her relationship with her Asian identity. I see Kabru as Indian or Nepalese; his name derives from a mountain on the border between India and Nepal. On top of being the only person who treats her like a human being during her childhood, Kabru is the only other significant Asian person in her life. They share the trauma of their parents having been brutally murdered and being raised imperfectly (much more severely in her case) by elves. While in the elf's care, they're both othered as tallmen— this aspect is strongly emphasized in the text — and in the main story, they're othered as Asian people in its European-inspired setting. Their shared experiences as Asian refugees are the foundation of their close bond.

It's not a stretch to assume that Rin consequently views Kabru as her main connection to being Asian. While they're from very different parts of fantasy Asia, their experiences as Asian refugees still overlap significantly as seen above, and the way she clings to Kabru suggests she wants to connect more with her culture, but for the previously stated reasons, she doesn't prioritize it. Besides, she doesn't have good models for what embracing one's cultural identity as a refugee/immigrant looks like. Just like her, Kabru doesn't seem to have many cultural ties, similarly because of his upbringing with the elves.

Toshiro could completely topple Rin and Kabru's original dynamic. Rin doesn't seem to like Toshiro. Their personalities would probably clash at first, because just like him, she's prone to judgment, out of self-preservation, and she's quiet. One of their canonical interactions is being captured by the orcs together; they don't even speak to each other in this scene.

Kabru and Toshiro become friends by the story's conclusion. Deep down, Rin might feel threatened by this. She's been Kabru's closest Asian friend up until this point. Toshiro, as an Asian person who was born and raised in his culture, might seem like a "better Asian" and thus, Kabru's replacement for her. This would be the worst projection of her buried insecurity over her disconnect from being Asian and how it potentially separates her from other Asian people. Given her personality, I doubt she would express this beyond acting wary around Toshiro.

With time, Rin, Kabru, and Toshiro could resolve her fears and the deeper issues they point to by all becoming friends. Interacting with other Asian people would heal her. She appears unphased by Mickbell's microaggression, implying it isn't an uncommon occurrence; she seems to only hang out with Kabru and their party. Being around other people of color would lessen the amount of othering she experiences and grant her a break from defending her identity.

Beyond the potential for cultural exchange and bonding over being Asian in fantasy Europe, Rin and Toshiro are also very similar in character. They're both anxious, quiet, and caring. If they made a little effort, they'd relate to each other and get along well.

Ideally, Rin would also befriend Hien, Benichidori, and the other girls in Toshiro's party. Kabru and Toshiro have their own issues with their treatment of women, so without positive Asian female friendships, she'd have another issue on her hands. Still, Kabru could be the bridge to a friendship with Toshiro, and Toshiro could be the bridge to friendships with his retainers. And with mutual growth, they could all enjoy each other's friendships.

Rin herself points out the vast cultural differences and language barriers between different parts of the East. The Asian characters of DunMeshi might not always share culture, but because of the story's setting in fantasy Europe, many of them experience being nonwhite in a mostly white locale. A support system of other people of color could allow Rin the space to explore her identity and culture and begin healing from her childhood trauma.

[whattraintracks]

I kinda feel we didn’t much of raph and splinter’s relationship in 03 thoughts?

Hmm, I suppose that's fair. I've heard it said that 03 isn't a very character-driven story, and I agree we don't see as many character dynamics or arcs explored as we could have.

Below the cut are the pieces of Raph and Splinter's relationship I've pieced together for myself.

Splinter's bio on Raph in Tales from the Sewer presents this interesting duality in Splinter's perception of him. He's a difficult child but just a kid. He trains the most but he's a difficult student. He makes poor decisions but Splinter has the utmost faith in his abilities. As both father and teacher, Splinter sometimes struggles to approach his sons and their needs in the appropriate role, especially when it comes to Raph.

For example, his hands-off approach to Raph's rage, or what I usually think of as emotional dysregulation (either as a product of neurodivergence or his young age). When Raph nearly maims Mikey during a rage attack/dissociative episode (see S1E4 "Meet Casey Jones") Splinter doesn't try to stop Raph or separate him and Mikey, although he very well could have. He doesn't step in until after Leo and Donny have broken up the fight. Despite addressing Raph parentally, he comes at the issue like a teacher offering those ninja master-esque nuggets of wisdom about rage being a monster and a true warrior is balanced in all things. I think he wants to come across sympathetically (gentle voice, physical contact, calling Raph "my son") but there is a sense of disappointment and unmet expectations in what he says.

In the aforementioned bio, Splinter notes that of all the turtles, Raph trains the longest and hardest. He likely equates length of training with dedication to ninjutsu and assumes that because Raph exhibits these things he should be something he isn't: more disciplined less angry. Perhaps he compares Raph to Leo who apparently trains less but fits Splinter's prototype of a good ninja. Speaking of Leo, later in the same episode we see Splinter chastise Mikey and Donny for interrupting Leo's practice and tell Leo to keep practicing his split kick without offering any advice on how to get it right.

We see this idea directed to Raph in Splinter's comment about a true warrior finding balance in all things. It's not particularly informative. This is his version of telling Raph to keep practicing but it's not what Raph needs at this moment, hot off such an overwhelming experience. So instead of reading this as the patient, parental advice I think Splinter intends it to be, Raph's body language screams chastised. He doesn't meet Splinter's eyes and he runs away. Raph (like all of the brothers) wants Splinter's approval and he's devastated to have fallen short in this instance. Then Splinter doesn't let Mikey follow after Raph. And yeah, Raph likely needed that space but it's this hands-off approach, again. Another example comes from the one of Raph's diary entries in the Raphael: Collector Book. He talks about Splinter assigning him more meditation exercises to help him control his emotions and temper. Perhaps training, space, meditation, and nuggets of wisdom are effective tools for Splinter to self-regulate his emotions, but Splinter is also an adult. Raph needs more guidance and practical advice at this point in his life that Splinter isn't providing. The tools aren't enough, he needs to be taught how to use them.

So. Raph responds in a couple ways to Splinter's hands-off, more-teacher-than-father approach. The first is to train harder, and longer, and learn everything he can about ninjutsu. If Master Splinter says becoming a true warrior will help him find emotional balance then he's going to try his hardest to become one. When he meets Casey, he shares with him verbatim the true warrior line but confesses to Casey he's not sure how hot-heads like them are supposed to do that. He still takes the advice to heart even if it's not helpful or he doesn't understand it because he wants to please and obey his father. The collector's book shows us that Raph has taken the time to learn aspects of ninjutsu that are confusing, uninteresting, and even inaccessible to him. This book contains a lot of technical information about ninjutsu techniques and teachings. It presents Raph as even more of ninja nerd than Leo! Some of this stuff appeals to his interests, for sure; the different punching techniques for instance. Some of it, he seems to have only learned to gain Splinter's approval. He has a detailed spread on hand signs that he explicitly finds too mystical and confusing, claims it took forever to learn, and he can't even use it as a three-fingered being, but he hopes Splinter will be impressed with him.

Second, he goes behind Splinter's back. If there's something he wants or needs and he thinks Splinter won't approve of it, he'll take it for himself. Such as going to the surface when he needs space or bringing his brothers to the surface when he thinks there's something important they need to do. This feels, to me, like access thievery, which is the concept (typically applied to disabled/neurodivergent folks) of taking what one needs (time, space, resources) without asking for permission or waiting to be offered it (because you likely won't be). Again in the collector's book, Raph exhibits an awareness of his faults and a self-compassionate recognition that he's just a teen. Splinter know this too but has shown that he can't always offer what Raph needs or won't give him it in some cases (forbids them from going to the surface). So Raph has developed a willingness to take what he needs for himself and sneak around Splinter to avoid the disapproval he fears.

All that aside, I think they're very similar in their fierce love and devotion to family and the ways it can drive them to anger, fear, hatred, and vengeance. There are traits Raph inherited from Splinter they bond over, too. They're both competitive. The Battle Nexus Tournament isn't their thing but we see them playing pokey in "Dragons Rising." I love the idea that they play a lot of games together! They have a similar sense of humility. They know they're skilled but they're more likely hang back and play support while their other family members take the spotlight than boast. Unless it's really personal, then they'll take over, like how Splinter's quest for vengeance guides them in Exodus and Raph's desire to help Casey leads the brothers to sneak out with him in "Meet Casey Jones." I think, they have a similar sense of humor, too. Raph has this silly line in the collector's book about Splinter being proud he used his head, that is, like a battering ram, and you cannot tell me Splinter wouldn't chuckle at that.

[oonajaeadira]

Detected

Fandom: Merge Mansion / Tim Rockford

Pairing: Tim Rockford x f!reader

Reader: Adult female. No other physical descriptors; no use of y/n.

Rating: T. Fluff.

Warnings: Mention of serial killer that targets women.

Summary: Nobody sees you the way Tim does.

A/N: I dunno, I just had a hankering to write for Tim and looked down my list of tropes thinking I might be able to scratch the itch and accomplish a fic for my Year of Tropes at the same time. Something hit me in the right places for a little piece of sweetness, so here we go, with SECRET IDENTITY.

This is really fluffy. Like stupid fluffy. Moreso than my regular stuff. Just let me have my little trope. This one didn't go through a lot of draft revisions, it was just a fun little thot that needed out.

“Why don’t you take the afternoon off, Sunshine? Get some rest. You’ve been here ten days straight.”

Tim’s the only detective in the unit who talks to you directly, certainly the only one that doesn’t just call you ‘hon’ or ‘sweetheart’ or ‘girl.’ You’re pretty sure he’s probably the only one in the department that knows your name, but he rarely uses it. 

That isn’t unusual. You’ve always been the quiet one, the mouse, the wallflower. It’s your superpower, being able to go unnoticed. You’ve never been reprimanded, never bad-talked, never held up as a bad example.

But then, neither do you often find yourself praised or called in for opinion. Never once have you been asked to join anyone for happy hour or coffee.

So many times you’ve been standing in a meeting room and not once been addressed. So many times you’ve overheard something that perhaps you shouldn’t have just because you were below anyone’s notice.

It bothered you so much more when you were younger. Not the case anymore.

You’ve learned to love your quiet life, shuffling around the records room, carefully tagging and bagging, filling out the document cards, compiling files, taking meticulous photos of items for court cases and detective scrutiny. Nobody comes looking for you, so you get to take your time, a kind of professional meditation. At least once a week you notice a detail on a piece of evidence that you might make known to one of the team. Usually this gets you a thanks, but more often times a brush off that ends in the detective later gaining the credit for the discovery.

Tim is different. Observant. He actually listens when you bring him something of interest and asks for your opinion or your second eye. He still does that thing where he puts the pictures of people and evidence you provide up on the wall and connects it with string. He will stare at that board for hours, getting up every now and then to pace, then turning the chair around to straddle it backwards so he can lean over the back and look again, hoping to find the one connection that the string can’t touch.

And yet, even when he’s concentrating this hard, he’s fully aware of his surroundings.

So much so that he even notices you’ve slipped into the room to stand behind him--you, who goes mostly unnoticed when standing in full view of most people.

When you don’t answer him, he turns his chin back over his shoulder, his sharp profile coming into relief against the organized mess of the illuminated case wall. 

He’s so very handsome. And it’s a shame he doesn’t seem to know. Or care.

Snapping free of your musings, you finally answer. “Yeah, it’s been a busy week. I’ve still got the Murray case to document. There’s a lot of entries.”

Turning fully to look at you now, he takes his time formulating a new response. “That case is closed. There’s no hurry. You work too hard. It’s Saturday.”

You shrug and smile. “I like my job. And you're one to talk.” Nodding to the evidence wall, you step more fully into the room. “Any movement on this? Sure I can’t help you? Anything I can pull from archives?”

This is a tough one. There’s a lot of speculation as to the mangled bodies in the pictures. A new one found last night, a week old. The probability is high that there’s one club downtown that’s producing them all and a definite suspect, but the record’s clean. There’s no grounds for warrants.

He gives you one more thoughtful glance before turning back to his work. “Not unless you have anything that correlates this last one to Club 88 or to Mike Cross. But no. Thanks. Get out of here, live your life, be free. I’m gonna go grab an interview out at the pier but then I’ll be here all night.”

He’s hungry. You can see that look in his eyes, he’s close, he just needs that one connecting piece of evidence and he’ll empty the coffee pots in the breakroom tonight looking for one.

“You’re hungry, Detective Rockford. At least let me call in some takeout for you before I go? Lau’s number 22 with chicken, right?”

He simply nods. “Thanks, Sunshine.”

“You got it, Detective.”

—-

Your pager goes off two hours later.

Special case. Could use your help. Pier 13.

You’ve been waiting for the call.

Upon arriving home from the department, you’d closed your blinds and turned off the lights, pulled on the dark pants and long fitted coat, tucked your hair up under the black hood and pulled it low. Gloves. Boots. Plain and unassuming in this fall weather.

You’re able to walk out the back door of your apartment building and take a path through the alley as the sun is setting without anyone giving you a second glance.

The only piece of your disguise you truly need is the vocal changer mask, but that stays tucked in your coat pocket until you arrive at the pier.

Once you can smell the water, you take a moment to hide your face, your voice, and your identity under the dark, nondescript mask–a blank slate of void where a face should be–before stepping out of the alleys and making your way to pier 13 where Tim Rockford stands looking out over the harbor at the lights starting to come on over the bridge.

“What can I do for you, Detective?” The voice that grates out of your mask is low, warped, almost sultry.

Tim, for all his awareness, misses your entrance. This is the strength of your powers. Snapping out of his reverie, he spins to find you only feet away, your long coat fluttering in the breeze.

And an awed smile spreads across his face.

Tim is the only one on the force that smiles when you show up as the Shadow. The rest of the cops tend to startle, recoil, not understanding how you simply seem to appear out of the air, unfold from the shadows, melt into the darkness itself.

“Thanks for coming, Shadow,” he says, his trenchcoat joining in the fluttering conversation of overwear. Pulling a few pictures out of his pocket, he holds them out and you take them.

A new mangled body. A hurried photo of a man with light skin and dark hair and blue eyes. A blown-up scan of license plate. You recognize them from his evidence board but say nothing, letting him make the request.

He explains the supposed serial killings, the patterns, the suspect, the license plate that isn’t his but was caught on surveillance near a couple of the dumping grounds.

“I’m pretty sure it’s him,” he concludes, poking at the photo of Mike Cross, “but I’m lacking something damming.”

“You mean you're 100% sure it's him. You're a thorough man; wouldn't just jump to conclusions. And you want me to go hunting.”

“I’d rather you just go take a listen. I don’t really want you to put yourself in danger.”

It’s a good thing he can’t see you smile. Trust Tim Rockford to be the one detective that worries about the safety of the city’s resident secret, pacifist vigilante. 

“I’m touched by your concern, Detective. But I haven’t been caught yet. Even if danger catches a glimpse of me, I’m very good at hiding.”

“I know. But it’s only a matter of time before somebody really sees you.” He smiles a little sadly. “I wish you wouldn’t hide from me. But I know why you do.”

It should be surprising–it’s not like him to cross this line–but instead, his statement warms you. Tim has always been grateful for the Shadow’s help, respectful, believed in your ability. But he’s also come to treat the Shadow as a friend. There’s something that tugs at your heart, knowing this dedicated, handsome, intelligent man truly trusts you but also respects and admires your limitations.

If only he knew how much you wish you could tell him, show him, let him know how much you admire him too.

He only blinks when you seem to melt into thin air, becoming one with the lengthening shadows.

_____

Club 88. The back alley. A black car belonging to Mike Cross. Nobody here to notice you but the rats as you duck around the back and inspect the bumper, find a magnetized plate cover hidden underneath that matches the photo in your pocket.

There’s the connection. Now for something that threads the needle.

_____

Maskless and hatless, you simply take up a serving tray and follow Mike Cross and a young pretty thing through the swinging “employees only” door and down a back corridor of the dark, thumping night club. Making yourself busy with empty bottles on the tray, you watch him pay a man and step into a private room with the girl. The man goes to find something else to do, nearly knocking your shoulder as he passes, as if you’re simply a tower of inventory boxes or a rogue tray of dirty dishes…or just some random hostess he doesn’t have time for.

Easy.

You’re able to enter the dimmed room under the guise of bringing in bottle service. The couple doesn’t even notice you while they make out on the couch in the VIP lounge. You simply dip your hand into the pocket of the jacket he’s left on a chair and lift his wallet. 

Might as well take the gun that’s there too. Just in case.

Time to get moving while he’s distracted.

_____

Using the address on the ID in his wallet, you make your way across town.

It’s easy enough to slip past the doorman. Unfortunately though, Mike’s apartment building has security cameras on every floor. This calls for a little distraction. Easy enough. All you need is the pad of paper and pen you carry in your pocket.

Knock on door 312. Explain you’re responding to a noise complaint in apartment 313. There is no apartment 313? That’s odd. Maybe it was apartment 311? 

When the occupants of 311 and 312 speculate over the possibilities–which apartment was the loud one? Who called in the complaint? They bet it was 211 down there, what a bitch….

It’s just enough time for you to use your jiggler key to work open the lock for Mike’s apartment and slip inside. Not only have they seemed to forgotten about you, but if anyone ever plays back the security tapes, their eyes will just slide right over you and concentrate on the gossiping neighbors in the hall.

Mike’s apartment is clean and sparse. By the looks of the set up of the living room, he likes to sit in the center of the couch, put his feet up on the coffee table while he drinks his beer (water ring stains on the veneer top) and watches tv. Not much on the walls. Books on the bookshelf, but no knicknacks.

You don’t know what you’re looking for yet, but you’ll know it when you find it.

There are a few places you start. The drawers in the kitchen. The freezer. The bedside table. Shelves in the closet. Medicine cabinet. Somewhere you'd stash something unassuming but precious but that you don't want anyone else to come across and ask questions.

But it’s as you pass back out through the bedroom, and lightly push the door open a bit wider that you hear a clinking and tapping on the other side.

There, hanging off a hook on the back of the bedroom door, is a silver chain.

With five women’s rings on it.

Yahtzee.

You snap a few photos with your phone before moving through the apartment again, looking for anything else, just in case your first instincts were wrong.

But your instincts are very rarely wrong.

Criminals love trophies. Little keepsakes of their thrills. Look for a collection of something that seems out of place and you’ve probably found your clue.

You’re just about to call it good and head out when you hear a key turning in the lock.

No need to panic, you’ve got this.

As Mike enters and kicks off his shoes before making his way to the bathroom, all you have to do is stand silently beside the far side of the bookshelf.

He doesn’t even turn on the light. Even easier.

Once the bathroom door closes, you’re able to silently slip out.

“It’s only a matter of time before somebody really sees you.”

Doubtful, Tim. But I wish I could tell you how sweet your concern is.

____

True to form, Tim’s is one of the only lights burning at the office when you slide through the department well after midnight.

It’s not often that you show up here as the Shadow, but you make sure it’s only at night when most of the lights are out. Even if you’re seen engaging with one of them, the detectives all know to look the other way and not to ask questions when someone on the force has requested your services. 

They see nothing, and say less.

When you get to the back offices, you have to stop for a moment in the shadows and take in the scene.

Tim’s here in the dim room, standing at a desk full of evidence bags. The one with the knife in it lays on a lightbox, the glow of which reaches up to caress his face, dragging at his cheeks and the bags under his eyes, his brow and bottom lip succumbing to the pull of contemplation.

You have to wonder if the detective has any joys outside of his work, if he reads or paints, if he’s into woodworking or collecting memorabilia. You often find yourself wishing you had the means to learn more about him and find yourself watching him from across the office as if you could read it in the stretch of his aching neck, in the hunch of his gun-holstered shoulders. 

But you’ve grown used to your quiet life. You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if someone else actually paid you enough attention to let you into their life–

“What have you got for me?” he asks, and you flinch. He hadn’t even turned around.

“Plenty," you rasp through the voice modulator. "How did you know I was here?”

“I always notice you,” he says. “And I could ask you the same thing.”

“Where else would you be?”

“I have a home.”

“Do you ever go there?”

He laughs and finally turns. “Yeah, not lately.”

Emerging from the darkness, you hand him a few photos you ran off from your phone at home, knowing he'd appreciate the analog. There's the plate cover. The ID. The chain of rings. You also hand over the gun you pinched. “Just in case you need to run a match on any casings.”

It’s here that Tim’s look grows sour. “You took this off him?” Then he tilts his head, scanning the photos. “This one…taken inside his house?”

“Yes. Most likely a collection of his trophies–”

“You went into his house??”

His intensity stops you. Something’s….wrong. “It was necessary. I wasn’t seen.”

“I told you, nothing dangerous. What if he’d come home?”

“He did.” This gains an unprecedented look of alarm from the otherwise calm and calculated man. “I told you, Detective, I wasn’t seen. I never am. That’s what I do.”

“That’s not the point, Sunshine. He murders women and dumps their bodies. This is different from the drug smugglers and counterfeit runners you usually surveil…”

He stops, registering what he just said only a couple of seconds after you do, a calm sigh of regret washing over him before being replaced by the bloom of concern.

You could choose to ignore it.

But it's useless. Tim would never let an assumption take hold as truth unless he had absolute proof. He’s the best. The best of the best and doesn’t even know it. So long you’ve wished to tell him, to make him see what you see in him, but it would mean opening yourself, becoming visible, being seen.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. This is your superpower, this anonymity, this blurring at the edges, this void of connection…

And you should back away when he approaches.

But you don't want to. 

Nor do you dodge as he slowly reaches up to remove your mask. Your hood. Fits his palm to your jaw and runs the length of a cheekbone with his thumb. “It doesn’t work on everyone, Sunshine. Not if they really want to see you.”

As his warm, weary brown eyes find yours, two thick, generous tears spill down your cheeks, two surprising hot spikes of your heart right there on your face. It’s like being thrust underwater without the chance to take a breath, the panic of suddenly being the center of someone’s attention, and you gasp for air only to release a sob, slapping both hands to your face in embarrassment.

Tim doesn’t pry your hands away, he merely runs a knuckle over one as if to say, hey, you’re still hiding.

And you realize that you are.

When you finally don’t have to be.

When you lower your guard, he’s waiting there patiently to welcome you back.

“You okay?” he asks, handing you a napkin for your tears.

Nodding, you take it and use it quietly before swallowing, trying to steady a voice out in the open. “What now?”

He looks pointedly over at his desk and gestures for you to head over there. “I thought maybe we’d start with dinner. I figured you'd come by.”

There are two Chinese takeout boxes on the blotter, both bearing a code in black ink. 

22C. His standard.

Lucky13. Your favorite. With the sauces on the side, just like you like it.

Speechless, you look at him in awe. You do see me.

And he tucks his hands in his pockets, softening back at you with a look that can only be described as Yeah.

_____

In the following days you’re able to hunt down photos of the killer’s victims that clearly display their hands and the rings that you found in his apartment.

Undercover targets are planted in the club to entice Mike Cross, and sure enough, he takes one to the back room, pays for privacy, extra for a later cleanup, but gets caught with his fingers around her throat as a whole squad breaks down the door to take him into custody.

There’s no doubt he will never see the outside of a prison again.

Club 88 is shut down and a long investigation into its ownership and practices begin. The Shadow is called in by the investigating team for your fly-on-the-wall services and at first you’re afraid that perhaps, now that you’ve been seen, that the shine of your powers has dimmed or–to be more precise–a newfound confidence makes you even brighter than before.

On the contrary, you’ve never felt more powerful or more in control of your abilities. 

Perhaps because the one person who can detect your sunshine also pours pride into your shadow.

Or maybe it’s the regular diet of Lucky Number 13 and a new morning view these days. Who’s to say?

____

MASTERLIST

CHARACTER MASTERLIST

[acquired-stardust]

Special Feature: Vana'diel - Digital Archaeology in 2025 and the Soul of Adventure (Final Fantasy XI, 2002)

Acquired Stardust is back after a long hiatus from writing with this special feature! Want to know what we've been up to over the holidays? Click through to read Ash's long story about uncovering a living fossil and checking off a bucket list item together with Larsa through their adventures in Final Fantasy XI's Vana'diel!

The love of and desire for 'adventure', even vicariously, is something that has been etched into the very soul of humanity from the earliest stages of our history - the oldest surviving literary narrative, Sumer's Epic of Gilgamesh, is over four thousand years old. From the time written language came into being we have dreamed of stories of great heroes roaming the land, contending with crisis and gods in equal measure.

The subject of today's feature is a series that itself often hearkens back to the Epic of Gilgamesh with abundant references throughout its now 16 mainline entries and countless spinoffs, and to really understand it in context is difficult given just how much the world has changed since the release of Final Fantasy XI in 2002 (arriving in America two years later). So different in fact it almost sounds like another world itself.

The early aughts were an incredible time to grow up, and it's one of the times in my life I've personally felt a sense of adventure most strongly. As a child of the first generation to grow up with easy access to computers in the home it felt like a time of infinite possibilities. Large numbers of emergent technologies and innovations had begun to rapidly change youth culture as well as erode the old order of isolated regional cultures. The rollout of broadband 'high speed' internet in 2001 to my area was a huge deal, finally breaking upstate New York out of dial-up internet limitations now unimaginable. Video games and the hardware on which they ran got infinitely more complex. Media from Japan continued its controlled flow into the west as anime like Dragon Ball Z left its indelible mark on my generation.

Somewhere in this confluence of rapidly expanding technology and rapidly shrinking cultural borders I found myself coming of age. Growing up in upstate New York with Knox's Headquarters quite literally in my backyard gave me an early love of history, but growing up a 'latchkey kid' afforded me control of my own time - I could do what I wanted when I wanted to do it all with minimal, if any, supervision. I was able to throw myself into whatever pursuit I wanted to without anyone looking over my shoulder, to decide for myself what I was interested in and who I was to become. The opportunity to find myself on my own is one I'm eternally grateful for, and to have done it in a time before far-right pipelines were anywhere near as omnipresent as they are now was a real blessing.

How this shaped up was, unsurprisingly, that I played a lot of primarily Japanese video games and watched a lot of anime. But in the early aughts there was still a comparatively very slow trickle of those things available in the west, and I was drawn primarily to two outlets that could expand my awareness of them. One was Cartoon Network's [Adult Swim] brand which would become a huge cultural player in itself and is perhaps a story for another time. The other was twice-defunct television channel G4, focused largely around video game programming such as documentaries in its series Icons and even airing thematically structured compilations of trailers, cutscenes and gameplay with Cinematech.

My love for history really blossomed in this period into complete obsession with hobbies. History was in my backyard, but it was also everywhere and In every little thing. And there were so many more 'little things' than I had ever previously known. The world was far bigger than I had ever imagined. There was always something new to see, each with its own universe of things to know about it. It was like surfing an incredible alternative cultural wave, topping the peak alongside countless other misfit kids of the Bush years. It's an experience unlike many others I've had in my life, and an incredibly special time that I will never forget. It created innumerable core memories, sometimes even from the slightest of things. One such core memory leads us directly to today's article.

The day itself was not unlike any other. I'd arrived home from school to an empty apartment and sat myself in front of the TV to spend my time on what I really wanted to be studying. As the aforementioned program Cinematech aired a rerun of one of its regular episodes I was caught off guard by a commercial for the then-upcoming Final Fantasy XI. It was a quick 30-second spot, but utterly arresting to someone who had up until that point (and indeed to this day) been completely obsessed with Final Fantasy. The game itself looked like one of the coolest things I'd ever seen, but the narration and logo noting that the game was 'online' blew my mind at the time. While certainly not the first Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game, it was the first one I'd personally encountered and the prospect of being able to interact with other Final Fantasy fans within the specific context of a Final Fantasy game rather than discussion of it was extremely tantalizing.

But there were a lot of questions to be asked. What was an online game? How did an online adapter work and how much did it cost? You'd have to pay a monthly subscription to play it? And what exactly was an HDD, anyway? Rather than deal with the hassle of answering these questions (which were likely to be met with a swift and completely understandable 'no' when the inevitable monetary costs were discussed) I drifted away into other areas of my hobbies. But the core memory of seeing this game for the first time had stayed with me all these years, and Final Fantasy XI had become something of a white whale to me. A game I'd always wanted to experience but never had the time or extra money for. An opportunity I missed out on, a time and place I should have been in. Part of that great cultural wave I should've surfed.

Larsa and I discussed getting into the game almost every year we've known each other (note: that's a long time) and always ultimately decided against it as we were already busy enough. That all changed in the later days of 2024 when we finally took the plunge and bought the game on Steam, a bundle containing all of the expansions for the game as well as a free 30 day subscription.

There are no two ways about it, Final Fantasy XI is extremely antiquated. In fact it's a game so old that it was released before Squaresoft even became Square-Enix. Setup of the game's PlayOnline launcher, notoriously referred to as 'the first boss of the game', is a pain and can alone filter out many looking to experience the game proper and we admittedly ran into a snag or two that at first did not look good for our future with it. But managing to make it through the initial hurdles was rewarded almost immediately precisely because the game is so antiquated. The PlayOnline launcher is a living fossil reminiscent of an earlier, intermediary intersection of culture and technology - a less connected world without social media or smartphones. Built-in mail services, profiles with information sections like hobbies, 129 pages of selectable avatars many of which from then-contemporary Square games such as Threads of Fate (1999), Ehrgeiz (1998) and Brave Fencer Musashi (1998) as well as other Final Fantasy games. It presents a shared language and collective frame of reference for culture of the era with the inclusion of some of those games that are now functionally extinct.

The PlayOnline launcher feels like walking the hallowed halls of not just a museum, but a genuine slice of time rather than a recreation or kayfabed reenactment. It feels like walking through a time portal directly to the transitional period between web 1.0 and 2.0. Absolutely remarkable to the point that I felt speechless fiddling around in its menus, its ability to remain untouched by modernization is nothing short of astounding. They say that you can never truly get your childhood back but the PlayOnline launcher feels like it manages to genuinely capture the way the world, and indeed the way we, were at the time. Like returning home after two-plus decades away only to discover everything is exactly the same as you left it.

There's a real sense of peace, wonder and belonging unlike much I've ever felt before. It was like spotting land from ocean and I was simply overcome with emotion. Overcome with the sudden acute awareness of loss, and having managed to regain some of what was lost. Overcome with the feeling of many people, each with their own lives and complex as my own, having tread these same halls over the course of what was now decades. Fiddling around with the launcher was genuinely one of the most surreal and vivid experiences of my life. And the absolute whirlwind of nostalgia wasn't through with me yet, the opening scene of the game featuring the iconic Uematsu-composed Prelude and narration by the actor who first made me want to get into the arts in Michael McConnohie. The game's English cast in general features many actors who defined that generation of voice acting and adds to the overall feeling of being a moment trapped in time.

Players are able to create one singular character (with the option to purchase more character creation slots for an additional fee), selecting from different playable races with their own distinct physical features, stat advantages and disadvantages. Character creation is rather limited by current standards, with each playable race having two 'genders', each having a number of preset faces and hairstyles. You are able to alter your character's height, but that is all the player can do in terms of customization beyond selecting preset faces and hairstyles, which are themselves tied to each other. The playable races are by and large the same initial races available in Final Fantasy XIV, though I find the Mithra preferable to XIV's Miqo'te as they're a bit more bestial and less anime catgirl. Much of the aesthetic is also rather similar to XIV, with plenty of recurring gear visuals recycled into XIV (along with plenty of monsters), though some of the cloth armor is more elaborate and creative as opposed to XIV's deluge of generic healer robes you will be inundated with. After creating your character you select one of three nations to hail from, each with their own storyline that ultimately converges by the time the final battle of the base game rolls around.

Larsa and I (playing Mithra and Tarutaru, respectively) embarked on Windurst's story, and the antiquated nature of the game is felt pretty much immediately. There are no quest markers and very little information about where to go or what to do, or even how. You will be thrown right into the deep end and expected to find your own way and make your own adventure. Maps are invaluable items able to be purchased by players for most of the game's expansive and sometimes rather empty areas, otherwise they will be flying blind. which can be very troublesome but helps the overall feeling of an adventure. It helps you connect more with the world and learn where things are. Roughly the first thirty hours of gameplay was spent exclusively on leveling our characters, figuring out the battle system and exploring, without nearly a single story scene due to focusing on experiencing the game naturally rather than following one of countless sometimes variously outdated guide.

On that front, the gameplay is certainly of a very slow pace for better or worse. Battles are menu-based like classic Final Fantasy games as opposed to the more modern action game style, and players' main form of damage in combat will be through auto attacks against creatures that for the first time appear in the world rather than as separate random encounters one loads into. These auto attacks can be quite quick (with some of the quicker classes being able to land more than one blow per attack) although some weapons will attack significantly slower. Actions taken during battle charge a TP meter that the player will be able to spend on 'weaponskills', damaging named attacks with their own built-in typing that can react to and resonate with other weaponskills resulting in an even more damaging 'skillchain', itself being further able to be paired with a magic spell for a 'magic burst' that applies even more escalating damage.

Figuring this system out is fun and can considerably speed up combat, and is another area in which the game encourages experimentation, rewarding those willing to invest time in tinkering with the game's six basic jobs (the player is able to freely swap to any of these basic jobs, and later the many advanced jobs as they are unlocked, in their housing) and multitude of available weapon types. Jobs are additionally able to be expanded through combination, assigning another unlocked job as a sub job that grants you access to that job's abilities, stats and gear in addition to those of your main job.

The pace of the game being rather slow works in its favor in regards to how its multitude of mechanics function together. It feels like every single action and event matters. Status effects such as poisoning, silencing and blinding can now turn the tide of battle one way or another. MP, which the player uses primarily to cast spells, recovers extremely slowly and so their use of it must be carefully managed lest they be forced to literally sit down for minutes at a time to rest and recover. Items such as potions and ethers are incredibly valuable as a consequence of this. There is genuinely so much room for skill expression, planning and executing battles and it's very refreshing compared to many modern games.

The system itself, while deep and rewarding of knowledge, also has lots of little touches that help keep the experience from being excruciating. One example is the cursor memory effect that allows you to quickly recast spells and abilities as needed. Just as well in the years since release the game has seen the additon of the Trust system, an array of collectable NPC summons that scale to the player's level and fill multiple roles in the party that helps mitigate the declining playerbase and the large variance in levels and progress between the players that do still play.

These Trusts are able to be summoned at nearly any time and resummoned after falling in battle on a short timer, and they really help the experience of progressing through the game a ton. Speaking of timers and the overall pace of the game, it seems to be a recurring and somewhat intrusive element of the experience that you will likely have an opinion on one way or the other. On the one hand it makes actions matter tremendously, and on the other it can sometimes feel like every action including map traversal is stretched in hopes of milking players for subscription money.

Time gates themselves are not terribly uncommon to run into, with the quest that unlocks the samurai job featuring a several-hour real world wait associated with it that is wholly unnecessary. Final Fantasy XI is very much unafraid to make you spend your time with things like RNG drops for quests and conditional monster spawns. Some of this design philosophy also crept its way into the original version of Final Fantasy XIV, the notorious 1.0 that nearly spelled financial doom for Square Enix after a turbulent period.

The base game's story scenes are few and far between, with a certain level of gravitas to the fade-to-black that comes with a cutscene due in part to that infrequency but just as much with how purposefully they are interspersed. The story itself is, at least at first, a bit simplistic and reminiscent of a rather vanilla Dungeons and Dragons campaign. Which works in the game's favor quite well as a platform for authentic and spontaneous adventure.

To that point, each job has roles to play in a party and depending on the situation you may find yourself in need of another player to help you through a particular challenge. While the majority of this can be mitigated through Trusts or clever uses of items such as Prism Powder to sneak by aggressive monsters, it is entirely possible for you to be stuck at various points if you don't already meet the qualifications or have another player on hand able to help you.

This was a particularly fascinating element of the experience to me and highlighted some of the ways in which culture has changed. While it is true that this is yet another way in which the experience can be stretched out, it hearkens back to some of the origins of the series in its obsession with Dungeons and Dragons. There are ample opportunities for 'hero moments', not all of which will be yours and yours alone. These days if we're holding the controller we want to feel like the hero at all times, but Final Fantasy XI is not afraid to give different people in your party the chance to shine at different times which very much feels in line with the tabletop roleplaying experience.

As a consequence of things taking so long it creates a real, genuine feeling of thankfulness for the players having their hero moments. The gratitude can really help forge some bonds among players which isn't necessarily something we collectively like doing anymore. Much of the design of the game facilitates a great sandbox for authentic adventure and is almost entirely player driven outside of the main story quest.

The sound design is also quite strong, with a strong team of composers including series veteran Nobuo Uematsu handling the game's staggering workload. There's a lot of standout songs, such as "Heavens Tower", but even those without direct experience with the game might be familiar with the Uematsu-composed "Ronfaure" which has been a fixture of live performances associated with the series at large for virtually as long as there have been such concerts. Plenty of nostalgic nods to previous games aurally help the game feel more connected to its predecessors as well, such as certain classifications of armor sounding identically to Final Fantasy IX party member Adelbert Steiner's armor when running.

The graphics variously hold up quite well. Character designs are largely strong (with many feeling right at home in this era of Square game) and much of the clothing design is pretty good as well, not featuring (to my knowledge) as many of the deviations that Final Fantasy XIV does with, for example, its recent 'streetwear' additions to the game. It's a rather cohesive aesthetic that looks somewhat like a cross between Final Fantasy Tactics and Final Fantasy XII. Geometry can be a bit blocky and skyboxes can be a bit splotchy, but there is still plenty in the way of beautiful vistas and cool sights to see even if they're roughly what a PS2 was capable of rendering (sometimes with great dips in frame rate on that system).

When launching the game it warns you to not play to the detriment of your real life, and when launching for the first time I assumed that a funny little quirk of when it was released and the relative unfamiliarity the world had with MMOs in a time before Blizzard's genre-defining World of Warcraft. This is not the case, and if the gameplay grabs you it is extremely easy to play for huge amounts of time without noticing it. We did not heed this warning and making our way through the base game took roughly 98 hours, mostly taking up just about all of our free time.

The game is also great about allowing the player to make lateral progress, which is to say grinding up various jobs to combine with each other, and not feeling like you've wasted your time despite making no forward progress through the game. It is shockingly addictive if the gameplay appeals to you. Final Fantasy XIV, clearly a spiritual successor of sorts to Final Fantasy XI, indeed recycles quite a bit of its predecessor but impressively many of the elements that do get rolled into XIV don't all necessarily feel like they've made their original incarnations' irrelevant.

One particular highlight of the experience was the usage of a ferry that shuttles players between two locations in the world. Said boat's arrival must be waited for in real time, boarded and then rode for a trip that takes several minutes in real time. This ferry trip is not privately instanced and can see you bumping shoulders with other players also looking to make the trek aboard the ship. It was just one of many examples of the game design going to great lengths to encourage organic, player-driven sandboxy adventures where you're able to socialize rather easily.

Both games have tons to offer and there is plenty of reason to dip your toes into Final Fantasy XI to experience an incredible slice of history, all the more now with the Rhapsodies of Vana'diel storyline helping catch newer players up and Final Fantasy XIV featuring a crossover raid series with Final Fantasy XI. It is an incredibly large experience not meant to be pursued to 100% completion, so I urge you to pick your path carefully and divert only for what interests you, primarily for unlocking jobs to progress through the main story with. You will encounter plenty of outdated and dubious information on the internet for the game, with plenty of discussion dating back to 2007 being the last time things of a relevant nature were discussed in an easily findable way.

Vana'diel likely hasn't seen the last of Larsa and I, and I'm sure we'll resubscribe at some point to continue our adventure. Perhaps after reading some impressions of the experience in the current day you might decide take the plunge yourself. Rest assured, even now after all this time adventure indeed still courses through the veins of Vana'diel. And after all, hasn't adventure been what humanity has been chasing since time immemorial?

-- Ash

[the--highlanders]

i'd love to hear your thoughts on jamie's relationship with gender

anon you just activated my unskippable cutscene

in terms of jamie's gender. the first thing we have to look at is where he's coming from, contextually. and where he's coming from is a culture with a language that makes no distinction between the words for man and husband, or woman and wife. you're a boy or a girl, and then you get married and you're a man or a woman. if you look at the dictionary entry for 'balach', the word for boy, you also get 'bachelor of any age'. jamie in the highlanders is 22 years old, but he's still excluded from his cultural definition of manhood by virtue of not having a wife.

I also want to point to gèidh / gàidhealach by mark spencer-turner here. while it's more looking at modern gaelic constructions of gender than historic ones, I think its idea if the gaelic man as a gaelic speaker + who has a wife + who participates in specific social/cultural behaviours and situations is something that can be back-projected. and the modern-day rigidity of excluding men somewhat from full access to manhood if they, say, work an office job rather than a more traditional job also feels relevant. traditional constructions of gender - in any culture, but specifically here in gaelic culture - are built on so many small building blocks of participating in the 'right' social behaviours.

and then we've got jamie. he's a good enough piper to be compared to his father. clearly an apt enough fighter, and not willing to back down from a fight, either. presumably did all the right things and was seen in all the right places for a teenage boy to be, growing up. in that sense, he's not particularly non-conforming. and yet, crucially, he's queer, which throws a big wrench into the whole 'heterosexual marriage is key to access to manhood' thing. I don't think jamie necessarily had a good grasp on his queerness growing up, but I /do/ think the idea of growing up and getting married felt Wrong to him - and from there you end up with a general alienation from the idea of being A Man, too. he doesn't want to be A Husband, so he doesn't want to be A Man, because they're sort of the same thing. he's more comfortable with the idea of being balach, a boy, a bachelor of any age.

now as always the phantom piper does a lotttt of heavy lifting here for me, just by being so Interesting about jamie's family dynamics. on-screen, his father is his only named relative, the man who others compare him to and contextualise him against, the piper who taught and raised him - but it's his mother's pride he remembers, when he's finally fully qualified as a piper himself. his father doesn't get a look in, here. as a child, he idolises his grandfather - his father's father - and wants to be just like him. as the oldest son, he probably bears his grandfather's name. in the highlanders, he's called /wee jamie/, which I tend to think of as a translation of his descriptive name - seumadh beag, little jamie, as opposed to his grandfather. but somewhere along the lines, that idolisation breaks, and as an adult he doesn't describe his grandfather in particularly glowing terms. it's his grandmother he wants to be like, and whose words he turns into a core part of himself. everyone he knows sees him in light of his father and grandfather, sees him as the inheritor of their legacies - but in himself, he's much more comfortable with the women in his family, and wants to be more closely connected to them. his closest icons for masculinity are distant from him, somehow, or actively distasteful.

(he also has a male best friend who dies in his arms, so. negative points for the heterosexuality once again)

I don't think jamie ever really labels his gender, or that it would occur to him that he might want to do so. it probably sits oddly with him if someone calls him a man, but he shrugs it off. travelling in the tardis is incredibly freeing in that sense, because he's free from the weight of social expectations - nobody sees him as the successor to his father and his grandfather, just as himself. and he's ultimately able to explore his queerness, embrace that part of himself, and not live with the expectation that he'll have to follow the same pattern of life as everyone else, no matter how much he dislikes the idea. after a certain point, he probably just stops thinking about his gender entirely, so he winds up a bit apathetic to the whole thing. there's other things about him which are far more important. but I think there's always something of a wound inside him from 22 years of struggling with everyone's expectations that he'll grow into something he's not, thriving in some areas and absolutely failing in others - and I think if he was ever in a situation where he got to introduce himself with a descriptive name, it wouldn't be seumaidh beag. he's not a younger version of his grandfather. he's not seumaidh dòmhnall, either, jamie son of donald, son of his father. if he had the choice, I think he'd probably be seumaidh mairead, jamie son of mairead, son of his mother.

[crow-caller]

A lot of terrible ideas have a nugget of a good idea in them. Of the terrible books you've read, which one stands out as the most, "if someone less insane and better at writing got a hold of this idea, it could be quite good"?

There's few books I've covered which I don't think this about! The more bombastic failures often are the ones I see more potential, as opposed to more commonplace sucking (we can't improve hush hush. let's just leave it)

REAPER'S CREEK! It haunts me how much potential there is to explore what the book almost does: what if you were 12, abused, and learned you could rewrite all of existence to be anything you wanted? That's the premise of the book, and it serves as a clear power fantasy for the author I'm not sure he ever separated himself from. The odd choices later made by the god-kid protagonist reflect the fact he Can't grow up- there's absolute horror there. He can have everything he wants, forever: how is he meant to grow or mature? He accidentally removes his mother's eyes and makes her love him anyway. He maybe forces a girl he has a crush on to love him. He removes his best friend's free will. The book (unfortunately) deserves more credit than I think it gets for engaging with these themes at all, but it does it so badly when it could be really good. Child abuse as a cudgel which traps someone perpetually in childhood even when it becomes detrimental to them becoming an adult

PERFECTED! A book about human pets is a really good idea and that's why it has existed before and will again. There's so many angles to explore this, whether it be the personhood of the inhuman or the dehumanization of the oppressed. The culture and history of how this becomes normalized could be fascinating social commentary. You could let Missy live. This one you'd need to scrap like, the entire plot and most of the concept, but you could still stick to the 'wealthy luxury humanoid pets for the mega-elite raised to know no other life' basis.

TENDER IS THE FLESH This is my most controversial review and look, I wish I'd gone into more detail too, but I still don't like the book. But it's obviously a great concept, like Perfected, about a world where eating human flesh has become normalized. Tender just really failed to execute the deeper themes of capitalism and dehumanization in my opinion but the concept is very solid. This is why it's a concept that exists in many other pieces of media. We love cannibalism.

THE COMMAND MENT! Okay, again we would be doing such radical change it wouldn't be the same thing, but the idea of 'we proved god is real so we invented a vaccine to keep his influence out of our brains' is really really funny and could be interesting. This could probably happen in FL.

FALLEN! The rare 'very generic para-ro' entry, but Fallen actually has potential it nearly explores about reincarnation horror. I've been really into the idea of a para-ro twist based on Fallen, where someone learns they're the reincarnated true love of an angel, destined to meet and be together... but then realizes (as she does in the book!) every time the angel meets her, he causes her death, usually at age 16. Suddenly his pledges to be together, the fact he remembers when she doesn't, becomes sinister. he loves her so much he can't stop killing her.

[choicesmonthlychallenge]

Choices March Challenge 2024

I asked and you answered. It seems like flowers and spring are prompts you are interested in for the March Challenge!

I hope you enjoy the prompts I chose. There is a mix of flowers, spring related words, March holidays, dialogue prompts, and visual floral prompts. I also posted some floral dividers that you're welcome to use.

Have Fun + Happy Creating!

Prompts + Guidelines below the cut!

Flowers (these are some possibilities, but all flowers are accepted)

Bleeding Heart Flower

Carnation

Chrysanthemum

Coneflower

Corpse Flower

Daffodil

Daisy

Gladiolus

Hydrangea

Iris

Jade Vine

Lavender

Lilac

Lily

Marigold

Moonflower

Nightshade

Orchid

Pansy

Peony

Poppy

Rose

Snapdragon

Sunflower

Tulip

Wildflowers

Spring

Awakening

Baby animals

Butterflies

Clear skies

Daylight saving

Fresh air

Growth

New Life

Outdoor activities + sports

Picnics

Rain boots

Rainy days

Renewal

Spring cleaning

Sunny weather

Warm temperatures

Longer days

Umbrella

March Holidays (these are some possibilities, but all March Holidays are accepted)

March 01: National Peanut Butter Lover's Day

March 08: International Women's Day

March 09: National Barbie Day + Get over it Day

March 11: National Napping Day

March 15: The Ides of March

March 16: National Panda Day

March 17: St. Patrick's Day

March 18: Awkward Moments Day

March19: First day of spring

March 23: National Puppy Day

March 30: National Take a Walk in the Park Day + Doctors' Day

March 31: Easter

Dialogue Prompts

"The flowers in the park seem to have a secret language, don't they?"

"Why does every spring bring back memories of that garden?"

"I can't believe you kept that secret from me all these years."

"Why do you always have to be so stubborn?"

"I never thought I'd see you again."

"Do you believe in second chances?"

"I thought we were in this together."

"You're not the person I thought you were."

"Sometimes silence speaks louder than words."

"Is it too late to start over?"

"I don't know who I am anymore."

"We're running out of time."

"Why are you really here?"

"Your laughter is my favorite melody."

"If our love story were a book, every page would be filled with the softest words and the sweetest kisses. What chapter are we on now?"

“Will you please shut up”

 “Of all the things i love about you, this is my favorite.”

Visual Prompts:

If one of these inspire a creative work from you feel free to use it. You can list the prompt topic + # (ie: Rainbow 3)

Guidelines + Rules

Submitted works will be featured on a weekly masterlist

Every form of creative work can be submitted: fanfiction, drabbles, moodboards, edits, drawings, poems, songs, sketches, and more—all are welcomed.

Work from any book and story from the Choices (and Pixelberry) universe are welcome (new and old alike)!

You can participate as many times as you want during the month

Clearly list the prompt your used

You can combine submissions for this event and others

Please add a cut to avoid long posts and exposing other fans to triggering/disturbing content.

If your work is NS*W please label it as such and use appropriate warnings. Adult content should be hidden under the page break.

You can get creative with the prompts. It can be a variation of the word and/or concept. It doesn’t have to be exact or literal. If the word inspires a train of thought that led you to something different, put that in the notes and send it in! Have fun with it! Make them work for you! The ultimate goal is just to find joy in creating!

Please tag @choicesmonthlychallenge​​ and if you’d like to add me you can do so as well~ @lovealexhunt​​​ (feel free to DM me your work too since Tumblr tags are fickle)

Please do not submit work that has been created with AI. Works that contain AI will not be reblogged. If reblogged inadvertently and I find out they have AI, they will be deleted.

Late entries will be accepted through April 5

[lucky-katebishop]

So I'm back to reading Robin 1993 comics after a few good months! Here are some of my favorite screenshots I took from issues 38-45 :D

Stephanie's internal monologue being depicted as diary entries are so cute! I think it's so innovative!

Batman has no fun :(

Tim wants to be Chandler Bing SO bad...

Ari's cliche teenage door signs I like to believe she either got ironically or her uncle got those for her because he saw them and thought "ah, yes, teenagers have signs like these"

I think Tim and Steph's relationship is really interesting in the early comics. Tim has so many problems as Tim and when he's Robin, he's able to shed his insecurities and problems and become someone that's confident. He refers a lot to his civilian life as Tim's and his superhero life as Robin's- they're separated because it makes it easier to compartmentalize, but it also helps him escape his troubles. Although these lines blur a lot- like when he stalks after Ives as Robin in these issues to see why Ives is skipping school and showing up with bruises. But I also see that Tim is able to be more confident as Robin because there's less emotional vulnerability- he's hiding a very important aspect of himself away. And during these issues, he's gotten in trouble with his dad and Ari's uncle and no one is listening to him, so I understand why he prefers to go out as Robin since it gives him a certain credibility amongst adults that would normally ignore him. What's interesting is that he recognizes that his separation of his lives is difficult, but he can't stop doing it.

Stephanie and Tim's relationship is skewed and their relationship exists with several different power balances. She makes him off kilter with her confidence, but he makes her off kilter by knowing her civilian name and referring her as that even in the heat of battle. He knows a lot about her (including her identity) but she doesn't know anything about him other than she's able to fluster him and tease him a lot. And I think that's part of the reason why Tim likes her so much- (besides being attracted to her and of her ability to keep up with him in their vigilante identities) but also he can hide his emotional vulnerability from her because he's constantly wearing a mask. She doesn't know anything about him- he's not an awkward teenager who often says the wrong thing and gets himself into trouble. He's not someone who adults ignore or straight up antagonize- when he's Robin, when he's with her, he's someone important. He's a hero. But he's not being inherently honest with her.

Some cute Tim/Steph screenshots :) -- (I do like them a lot, even though Tim's being annoying and cheating on Ari with her)

I haven't read Superboy yet but... this is Kon, right? Steph has a poster of Kon in her room? (If it's not him, please let me know!)

LOVE her outfit- I adore that we're seeing more of Steph in these issues.

Tim's love of Crocky <3 <3 <3 (he was fighting for his life with Alfred during this issue)

No one:

Tim: :D

Here's some appreciative animal screenshots

Dana Winters Appreciation Screenshot :)

Great parenting Jack...

I am so sick of this character. Why did Dixon keep putting him in here ugh

I-

Alright thanks for getting this far if you did! I'm back reading comics so here's to more of this silly little series! :D

[hezekiahwakely]

After spending literally multiple days and nights listening to hours of new music, here are my thoughts on what the Protocol playlists might tell us about the characters. I'm gonna break it down by large themes and I'm putting it under a read more bc I don't know how to not ramble about this. its SO MUCH

Gwendolyn Bouchard 👁️

Hers is the most self-explanatory. Girlboss is girlbossing and paying for it. But I did pick up several nuances.

Gwen is: Cold, power-hungry, and ambitious (you should see me in a crown, Are You Satisfied?, Severance theme). Suffering from her own hubris (Oh No!, Gasoline). Resentful and envious, especially about family, wealth, and power (Family Jewels, 24 hours, Warriors). Touching the dark and being supernaturally influenced (Mr. Bonzo theme, Evil Eye, We Don't Talk About Bruno, Making Love to the Dead).

Special mention to the 'daddy's money' reference in 24 hours.

Samama Khalid 😶‍🌫️

Sam makes ridiculously long playlists, like me, so this entry is gonna be long, but the emotional vibes were pretty easy to pick out once I got through it.

Sam is: Straight chillin' to some lo-fi beats, desi hip hop, and melodic bops (literally too many to list but, Remind Me, Forgive the Mess, 93 'Til Infinity, Magpie, Fire Sale, Iniesta Flow, I Guess, Prarthana, Hai Hai, etc., etc.). Rebellious (The Adults Are Talking, Reptilia). Bonded with someone (Halo Flip, soulboy). Yearning, romantic, and playful (Girl Like You, Mr. Sandman, New House, Meteor, You Only Live Once, Be Your Girl, Dear Jean, Say The Word, My Girl/Hey Girl, Smiley, The Real Sugar). Reminiscing about a break-up (Oui, Afterparty Lover, Last Nite, Stick Season, Turn off the Lights, Jessie (i miss you), WONDERING, Afterthought, I Love You, I'm Trying). Full of regrets, pain, and melancholy bitterness (Seasons, Can't Call It, Let It Go, nightmares, Pretty Insane, different tomorrow..., Cigarette Daydreams, CABIN FEVER, Self destruct, Go Back, Stuck Here With Me, Bliss City). Alienated, yet wanting to be alone (uh-oh) (Creep, Alone, Stone cold., Paint it, Black).

Special shout-out to all the implications about the old Sam/Alice relationship. And I'm especially worried by the potential meanings of Downside Up, Let It Go, Go Back, and Stuck Here With Me.

Also, interesting that there's a lyric-free track just called 'drained' at the end of his playlist. I'm sure that's fine.

Alice Dyer 🌀

Oh my girl. What is going on with you. She has impeccable and predictable taste, at least. But... then there's the Ominous Implications again...

Alice is: Rebellious, anarchic, and irreverent (Underclass Hero, Toxicity, Tribute, Buddy Holly, Dragostea din tei, Feel Good Inc., Piss Off, Rebel Rebel, Ghost Town, Brimful of Asha, Surrender, Uncle Walter, United States of Whatever). Blasting high-confidence power anthems (Material Girl, Therefore I Am, Jump, Bad Reputation, The Middle). Depressed behind a mask of high energy and false cheeriness (SugarCrash!, Mad World, Bathroom Floor). Yearning after someone's love (A.M. 180, Zombie Love Song, Nearer Than Heaven, Save Tonight, Ms. California, Because I Love You, Fell In Love With A Girl, Take Me Out). Reminiscing about a break-up (Ciao!, Built This Way, Kidz 'N' Stuff, FRIENDS, Free Fallin', Not In Love, Who Knew, Song for the Dumped, When It All Falls Apart, Laid, Complicated). Feeling crazy and overwhelmed (uh-oh) (Basket Case, In Too Deep, Bonkers, I'm A Robot, Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds, 19-2000, Wonderland, High, Undone, Cosmic Castaway). Creeped out and brushing up against the supernatural (Walking On Air, The Blue Wrath, Pet Sematary).

Oooh. Oh, the implications. The Sam/Alice break-up. The potential for feelings that remain. I HAVE to know what happened between them.

Also, here are some select lines from five Alice songs presented without comment: "Yeah, I'm a zombie, baby," "I'm a robot, I'm a robot/I don't have any feeling in my heart," "I don't wanna be buried in a Pet Sematary/I don't want to live my life again," "Take me down, six underground/The ground beneath your feet," "Walking like a zombie, like a zombie."

I'm sure that's all fine.

Celia Ripley 🕸️

The most mysterious new member of the OIAR, her music choices are appropriately enigmatic. The Vibes make me excited to see what she's hiding under the surface.

Celia is: Raring for a fight (Seven Nation Army, Rumble, know your place, Run from Me). Fed up with the system (Blood//Water, Run You). Bold, sexy, headstrong, and self-confident (Creature, Took A Trip, River, Do It For Me, Aerials, Uber). Struggling against supernatural influence, feeling trapped and helpless (Mama! There's a Spider in My Room, Where Is My Mind?, I Feel Like I'm Drowning, Closer, Space Dementia, Rain)

So we've all but confirmed the theory that she's from the OG Archives timeline and that she has continuing ties to the Web from passing through Hill Top Road. I think we have hints here that she's manipulating the others, but I also think there are signs that she's fighting her own battle against an evil trying to take her. There also seems to be an overarching theme of water in many of her songs for some reason 🤔

I can't wait to get more of Celia. Even if she is lying, I'm rooting for her (<hoping this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass)

In conclusion, I love them all already your honor, and I want to thank the cast for putting such loving care into crafting these for us. Thank you for such great food to feed our wild theorizing.

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

How would a half Time Lord half human person be accepted on Gallifrey? How would they be treated if they went to Gallifrey later in life instead of being born there? Would they be allowed to attend the Academy even if they’re older than eight? How would their Chapter/College be chosen? Would they even be allowed on Gallifrey?

How would a hybrid fit in on Gallifrey?

Like most things Gallifrey, the answer depends entirely on the era. Gallifrey has experienced different social, political, and cultural shifts over time, meaning a hybrid's experience could range from mild curiosity to outright exile. Since the Gallifreyan Institute for Learning (GIL) exists in a timeless void of potential, we can observe all of these perspectives at once.

Key Eras for Reference:

🕰️ Pre-Classical/Classical Era → The Doctor's childhood to 8th life. (Strict isolationism.)

🔥 Pre-War / Time War Era → Before and during the Time War. (More open, then regressive again.)

❓ Post-War → After the Time War. (Unknown, because Gallifrey keeps dying.)

🏛️ A Hybrid on Gallifrey

🕰️ Classical Era (Isolationist & Strict Traditionalism)

Gallifrey was closed off to almost all non-Gallifreyans. The concept of "off-worlders" was actively discouraged. That said:

There are rumours of hybrids who lived among Gallifreyans, attended the Chapter Academies, and took the Time Academy entrance exam like any other student.

Latecomers past the age of 8 are unlikely—but not impossible. Large donations or well-placed political influence might have secured an exception, but there are no confirmed cases.

🔥 Pre-War / Time War Era (More Open, Then Closed Again)

Particularly under Romana's leadership, Gallifrey became more open, and some hybrids and off-worlders were granted citizenship.

Attending the Time Academy as a non-Gallifreyan adult was permitted during Romana's reign.

However. once Romana lost power, traditionalist leadership cracked down, and many of these privileges disappeared.

❓ Post-War Era (Completely Unknown)

We don't know what policies were in place during the brief period after Rassilon was removed (but before Gallifrey was destroyed again).

If Gallifrey ever resurfaces, hybrid acceptance could go either way.

🏛️ How Would Their Chapter / College Be Chosen?

A hybrid's Chapter placement depends on House association, influence, funding, and the Time Academy entrance exam.

Attending the Time Academy isn't free—without personal wealth or financial backing from a House, a hybrid would struggle to gain entry. Money, influence, or sponsorship are just as important as raw intelligence when securing a place.

👨‍👩‍👦 Born into a House → If their Gallifreyan parent belongs to an established House, they may be accepted into that lineage. However, this is not automatic—acceptance is entirely at the House's discretion.

🏠 No House / Disassociated Parent → They would need to find a House willing to claim them. Influence, money, or political sponsorship might help secure a place.

🛑 Completely Houseless → It's not impossible to attend the Time Academy without a House, but you need extreme clout and financial backing to get in.

That being said, a House does not necessarily dictate Chapter placement.

Some Houses have deep-rooted affiliations with specific Chapters, but this is not universal.

The entrance exam plays a major role in placement for those without a direct Chapter link.

Some Gallifreyan Houses actively manipulate their Looms to produce offspring with traits suited to their preferred Chapter.

For womb-born hybrids, their genetic inheritance might naturally align them with their Gallifreyan parent’s Chapter—but this isn’t guaranteed. If their skills or personality traits don’t fit the Chapter’s standards, they may be placed elsewhere. And if they don’t end up in the Chapter associated with their House, their House may lose interest in them entirely.

🏫 So…

It depends on the era, their connections, and how good they/their parents are at playing the game.

🕰️ Classical Gallifrey: Nearly impossible—but not unheard of.

🔥 Pre-War / War Era: More accepted.

❓ Post-War: Unknown—but probably still complicated.

Related:

💬|📜👑What was Romana's presidency like?: The highs and lows of Romana as Gallifreyan President.

💬|🧸🏫How do grade levels work in Gallifreyan schooling?: How the Gallifreyan education system works.

💬|🧸🏡Does a Gallifreyan's House determine which chapter they'll be a part of?: Looking at Academy affiliations and the Academy selection process.

Hope that helped! 😃

Any orange text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →📢Announcements |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts → Features: ⭐Guest Posts | 🍜Chomp Chomp with Myishu →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

[wowstrawberrycow]

Preschool For the Unwanted part 1: Hello Teacher

Hi there everyone! This time I'm shipping Adar with one of my OCs! My oc is called Lao. He is very playful even in the worst of times and is a teacher. He would say all he does is teach. But there's so much more to Lao than he likes to talk about.

I also will say this story doesn't have any warnings yet. But I'm sure it will be explicit eventually. I'll warn you when it does.🤗❤️ You'll likely get art of Lao very soon too!

This story is another one of my attempts to dive into uruk culture with a fun lense.🌈💖 I hope you all enjoy it.

------------------------

While it was no secret uruk children were wild and quite an unruly bunch of tiny gremlins this did not stop Lao from his task. In fact when the escapade of teaching these children had come up in another boring semi-meaningless meeting Lao very enthusiastically volunteered for the job. One thing led to another, that is a whole other story entirely But, that little mystery is what led Lao to visit Adar the lord father himself.

However, this meeting itself was perilous as well. Upon entry, he was attacked, which he completely expected. Though much to everyone else's shock and dismay, Lao handled himself quite easily without harming a soul. He dodged spears, swords, and arrows with ease and grace as if he were dancing with the balance of a ballerina. This tuckered out guards as this literal dance seemed to go on for hours. It became like a game for Lao, that is to say, he saw it as a long game of hide and seek, and at other times it was like tag with harsher consequences. His amused child-like giggling was infuriating to the residents of the uruk community of Mordor at first but soon this infuriation simmered to merely eye-rolling followed by irritated complaints. This ultimately is what caught Adar’s attention.

Lao eventually allowed himself to be caught immediately after Glug announced his lord father demanded to see him. After also allowing himself to be clamped in irons Lao soon demonstrated that brutality was not an option here in this situation. Each time one of the uruk guards attempted to hit or stab Lao, even in chains the strange man would quickly move out of reach maintaining a kind carefree expression. He still made no effort to fight back. This resulted in further irritation as they searched him. However, they discovered Lao was completely unarmed. Many unsettled stares befell Lao as he was dragged to see Adar.

Adar’s own menacing eyes bore deeply into the other partially in hopes to intimidate Lao, while the other half of his mind was attempting to figure the stranger out. Lao simply smiled sweetly back at him with a seeming ditz over his face.

“State your business. Make it quick, I will not hesitate to give orders to end you." The great leader spoke using a grave tone laced with malice.

Lao remained calm, finally speaking for the first time since he arrived. “ I was wondering about your little ones. I’m very curious if you’d be interested in accepting my services as an educator. I can educate adults as well if you like.” His voice was casual as someone speaking at a conference table but as beautiful as an elf's; it matched his immaculate face. When his ears were revealed it was clear he wasn’t an elf at all. Whispers zipped across the crowd who surrounded the odd scene.

Adar couldn’t believe his ears or his eyes. The offer was extremely…attractive… not just the offer, but the one who delivered the proposal was too. His mind then paused in favor of looking over Lao’s body and noticed the female clothing. “Bring her to my meeting quarters.”

Lao repressed a snicker, choosing not to correct the man. It was all too fun to keep those around him in surprise or confusion.

Adar raised a brow annoyed but glints of curiosity filled his eyes. he said nothing and instead ordered the stranger to be strapped to a chair. He stared down at the other with an intense gaze. The energy this one gave off was nothing like Sauron’s, and none of his children were killed that night. Some were exhausted, yes, but sleep could fix that. Even with that thing gone he couldn't help but inspect that first to settle his suspicions. “ What’s your game? I hardly believe you came to my territory for such a thing. What is it you really want? Who are you?”

Listening to Adar’s deep voice was like music to his ears. Lao let his eyes trace Adar’s body shamelessly with interest. With all things considered, if this setting had been in a bedroom this situation could be quite scandalous. A small delighted hum wafted through the air at the thought. The confused look in Adar’s eyes only amused Lao further; this much was obvious by his tone, “ I’m simply Lao.” he said with a pause. Then a sing-song tone soon followed “ And I believe I already told you what my purpose here is.” Lao smiled sweetly at the uruk patting his long lashes. purity showed brightly in his eyes when he gazed directly into the other’s pair when he spoke again “ I prefer to teach. That’s all I like to do with my time.”

Adar couldn’t deny that his children lacked an education. They were a simple group and even he found it difficult to explain certain things to them in ways they would understand. His children certainly weren’t unintelligent, on the contrary, they had wonderful problem-solving skills. They simply lacked direction and wisdom at times. The inability to read, and write, and low math skills were also something he constantly regretted not being able to properly teach his children. It pained his heart. For as much as he was apprehensive about the offer, he couldn’t reject a chance to better the lives of those he cherished most. But on the other hand, he couldn’t be too careful. Pretty faces with lovely offers were enticing, but he recalled how poorly the last one went. Adar huffed but suspicion still was present in his voice. “ Fine, but you will be under constant surveillance. You can start tomorrow. Throw her in the brig.”

To this Lao grinned, the urge to chuckle at Adar’s little mistake was becoming harder to resist. Even in chains, he found his time with the uruk community to be very entertaining already.

[jupiterswasphouse]

WASP REVIEW - BEEDRILL (POKÉMON)

[Image ID: The official artwork for Beedrill, a Pokémon from the first generation of the Pokémon franchise /End ID.]

Now, if you're just stumbling upon this post you may be a bit confused or up in arms here. "Beedrill clearly isn't a wasp, it's a bee!", and that's an entirely fair assessment, it's in the name afterall! However, as returning readers may recall from last week, while they are generally described separately in conversation, from an entirely taxonomical perspective, bees are wasps themselves, having evolved from predatory wasps and being a sister lineage to the wasp family ammoplanidae.

Furthermore, in my opinion, with the seemingly slick surface layer of its presumably chitinous exoskeleton, Beedrill closer resembles a paper wasp rather than the more expected honey bee, having little to no setae/fur to speak of (most if not all wasps, including paper wasps, do have setae themselves, but only in a few families of wasps, such as Mutillidae or the bee families, are these easily visible to the naked eye).

[Image Source: Wikimedia Commons, L. Shyamal and CABI Digital Library, Muséum De Toulouse | Image IDs: A photo of the yellow, black, and brown paper wasp species Polistes olivaceus collecting wood to form its nest, followed by a photo of another, similarly colored species, Polistes dominula, with its wings outstretched /End IDs.]

This idea is strengthened by the Pokédex entry from Pokémon Crystal, which states that Beedrills will hunt down prey to bring it back to the nest, a behavior similar to that of Vespid wasps, only somewhat paralleled in eusocial bees by Vulture Bees, three species in the genus Trigona (But even then, they don't hunt prey down, they collect flesh from already dead carcasses, hence the comparison to vultures).

That, however, brings us to a very important question, that being, they bring it back to the nest for what, exactly? I can only assume that this is a type of food store for the fully evolved adult Beedrills, something that is not actually true at all for the real world Vespids. Many adult wasps are incapable of feeding on solid matter without it being liquified, so the paper wasps (as well as yellowjackets and hornets) carry their prey back to the nest to feed those of them that can actually eat it, their larvae.

This is where the Beedrill line gets particularly unusual and interesting. As you might recall if you know anything about Gen 1 of Pokémon, Beedrill evolves from Kakuna, which, in turn, evolves from Weedle.

[Image IDs: The official artwork for Weedle and Kakuna, two Pokémon from the first generation of the Pokémon franchise /End IDs.]

While the cells of a wasp nest are typically used to house the larvae, larvae of Beedrills, the Pokémon Weedle, are free roaming creatures, only becoming eusocial in the final stage of evolution, often found among plants, feeding on leaves (Not on the meat). Although Beedrills still appear rather defensive of their young, they can move around entirely on their own! This may be another thing that confuses Pokémon fans that are unfamiliar with Hymenoptera, as the free roaming and leaf eating form of Weedle sounds an awful lot like a caterpillar, especially with the addition of the tree hanging cocoon Pokémon, Kakuna. However, this perfectly aligns with some of the Hymenopteran ancestors of the modern day wasps, sawflies!

[Image Sources: ResearchGate sources One and Two, Bao-Zhen Hua | Image IDs: A collage of photos displaying multiple instances of the larva of the Sawfly species Arge pagana feeding on leaves, followed by another displaying the same species as prepupae on the top and pupae on the bottom /End IDs.]

Even in Kakuna sometimes being known to attach itself to trees using silk or a silk like material is true of sawflies, with many Hymenopterans (including the aforementioned sawflies, paper wasps, and honey bees) being capable of producing this material in their larval stage to create cocoons or reinforce their nest cells during their subsequent pupation.

As you might realize, as well, both Weedle and Kakuna, as well as Beedrills, regardless of sex, possess stingers (not visible in Kakuna, but stated in multiple Pokédex entries including Yellow, Gold, and Let's Go, although contradicted in Red/Blue and X/Y), this is untrue of sawflies in general as well as any young wasps or male wasps. The stinger is a modified ovipositor, a reproductive organ, and is specific to the suborder Apocrita.

I'm going to have to let this slide, among other things, though, as these three Pokémon are clearly, like all Pokémon, are highly fantastical in nature and not necessarily going for realism. I mean, Beedrills are not only missing a middle pair of legs but also have an extra two stingers on the end of their forelimbs (four, on both pairs, in the case of Mega Beedrill)!

It is also implied in a few instances that Beedrills produce honey, which is not only the case in the most famous honey producing insects, the honey bees, but is a trait that is surprisingly also found, to varying degrees, in some Vespid wasps, notably including Brachygastra mellifica and Polistes annularis!

All in all, Beedrill has fascinating inspiration/real world equivalents and a cool design, but can also be confusing in a few ways to entomologically analyze.

-

Overall: 6/10

-

This wasp was suggested by @shadybug , leave your wasp review suggestion in the replies, tags, or askbox!

[decepti-thots]

not a meme question, but do you have a favorite pen? i don't know anything about them but you seem to, lol

I do, but my answer will differ depending on if you're asking my personal favourite pen or if you want advice as someone who doesn't use FPs as to what a good way to try one out is, anon! (sorry you just ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD)

I currently have six fountain pens, five of which are 'starter'/budget pens and one of which is a mid-range 'enthusiast' pen. My favourite I own is the latter. It's my Nahvalur Original, which I own in the Spring colour, and which cost me around £45. It's a pen designed to exclusively take bottled ink with a fancy filling mechanism, instead of ink cartridges. It's not high end by the standards of fountain pens, per se, but it's solidly in the 'enthusiast' realm. (My Dad, who once owned an FP because he needed something that looked good while signing Important Work Documents, did a double take when I told him how much it was, lmao. He did not ever spend that much on one pen.) It is a hefty, lovely thing with great build quality which I can use with fancy ink and feels great to write with. Nice nib, great quality, looks awesome.

But if you have never used a fountain pen, and want to try it, you do not need to spend over £20 or your local equivalent, fwiw. Many cheap fountain pens suck, but equally, many people who have spent thirty years collecting them who own pens worth hundreds will happily tell you, many cheap fountain pens are excellent, and noone needs to spend much to get an industry-gold-standard one. My second favourite pen is my Pilot Kakuno, which is aimed mostly at schoolkids in Japan where Pilot are based, can be bought for under twenty pounds shipped in the UK, similar prices in most of the world, and writes better than multiple 'adult' pens I own. Because Pilot has incredible high quality pen nibs and the Japanese FP market is competitive. You could easily buy just a Kakuno and be set forever with a pen that is extremely good quality! And there's other similarly great options too; there's a whole section of the market that is just 'good pens for newbies'. The Lamy Safari is a very famous option from a western (german) brand, for example. (Also have one of those, it's good.)

If you want to try fancy fountain pen inks with special qualities like sparkle or sheen, you'll probably need to put down a little extra money for a converter- basically a refillable cartridge that refills from a little ink bottle, instead of the disposable ones most stationary shops sell. But you don't need that if you're happy with the normal ink cartridges. All cheap fountain pens accept cartridges, though the better brands do tend to require you buy their cartridges, unfortunately.

And if you REALLY don't want to risk it: buy a Platinum Preppy. Platinum are a very well regarded brand, they use the same nibs in their entry level pens as they do their £30 ones, just with cheaper gel pen like bodies- and they are like. £5. Comes with a cartridge. Writes great, I own one. Again, a Japanese brand aimed squarely at schoolkids, very cheap but genuinely good to write with.

(The one thing for fountain pens I would say is, do spend the extra little bit on a cheap notebook with fountain pen friendly paper. Same as with e.g. paints, good paper is more important than the pen a lot of the time. The worst fountain pen in the world on good paper is better than a £500 pen on shit paper. Here is a guide; I use Clairefontaine.)

anyway sorry maybe you didn't want all of that. but if you think fountain pens sound Interesting and are curious, i'd encourage you to try one, but buy cheap. many cheap pens rule. and fountain pens are great- they are better than almost every other kind of pen for doing longform writing, because they don't cause wrist strain when doing it for long periods. i would definitely recommend a fountain pen over other kinds if you want to use it to write for long periods, no matter what pen you get, tbh!

[crisalidaseason]

Seventeenth entry: sometimes you can’t interfere.

There are things above your capabilities, like dealing with dick measuring contests. What are you going to protect your ward from? two guys hopelessly infatuated with her? It’s more fun to watch them embarrass themselves.

****

Protecting Violet Sorrengail was a challenging task. She had many enemies waiting for a split second to slice her throat, a few people in leadership who clearly disliked her connection to Xaden, cadets who thought she was undeserving of her dragons and life - as if she was not the embodiment of an honorable rider. She was also very dangerous to herself and her living meant keeping his own brother in the realm of the living.

Liam managed though, even liked it on some levels. Violet was a nice friend, offered great advice and had an interesting view of the world so Liam made sure to be a damn good shadow. He spotted stabby fuckers and old distrustful scribes from a kilometer away, kept her from getting in trouble when her tongue ran a bit too acidic for Aeto’s taste, he enabled all her asinine ideas - you try to stop Violet Sorrengail from doing something.

But whatever was happening between her, Aetos and Xaden was something Liam could not even begin to interfere with.

Xaden Riorson and Dain Aetos were fucking staring at each other like two teenagers who were love struck by the same girl. They were adults. Riders. Liam supposed that being stupidly infatuated with Violet was not necessarily the bad part - good for her, honestly, she was very pretty - but the two men could at least try to be less pathetic about it. Xaden liked to cover his dislike over Aetos on the Colonel but Liam knew it was fueled by his jealousy over Violet - which was so stupid because she was just as disgustingly obsessed over his brother.

Liam was torn between amusement and frustration.

“What would our objective be, Aetos?”

Mira Sorrengail’s voice finally broke the staring contest and Aetos returned his focus on the mock-Battle brief and the map in front of them “What type of fortifications are there? Are we talking a haphazard wooden structure? Or something more substantial?”

“Like they had time to build a fortress overnight” Ridoc mumbled beside Liam “It has to be wooden, right?”

“You are all so fucking literal” Mira groaned, clearly annoyed at them “Fine, let’s say they occupied a keep that’s already established. Stone and all”

“But the civilians didn’t call for help?” Quin asked “Protocol calls for a distress signal this far into the mountains. They should have lit their distress beacon, alerting patrolling riders, at which time the dragons on patrol would have told all available dragons in the area. The very riders in this room would have mounted first as the reaction force and the others would have been woken from their rests, allowing the riders to prevent the loss of the keep in the first place.”

The older Sorrengail scoffed “Everything you’re taught at Basgiath is theory. You analyze past attacks and learn those very…theoretical combat maneuvers. But things out here don’t always go according to plan. So why don’t we talk about all the ways things can go sideways, so you’ll know what to do when they do, as opposed to arguing that the keep shouldn’t have fallen?”

Liam refrained from looking at Mira directly, but he could notice the weight of a rider’s life on her words. There was a typical arrogance of someone who knew more than them, but also a genuine warning and moment of teaching.

“How many of you have been called out as third-years?” she asked.

Both Emery and Xaden manifested themselves.

“That’s not correct. We’re never called into service until graduation” Aetos questioned.

“Yeah, all right” Emery spat “just wait until next year. I can’t count how many times we’re the ones sitting in these very rooms in the midland forts because their riders have been called to the front for an emergency”

The squad leader seemed to pale at the information and Liam almost felt bad for him. It was not necessarily a secret that cadets were called into service, but it was a rather recent change. Too bad that they had no idea why. Liam doubted even the lieutenants in that very room knew of the real danger outside their wards.

“Now that’s settled. Catch” Mira threw them dragon models.

Liam caught his with expertise, running a finger on the chunky and simple carving.

“Yours are better” Xaden muttered.

Liam smiled. Of course they were better. He was proud of them - which reminded him that he still did not finish Andarna.

“Pretend Messina and Exal don’t exist back there, and we’re the only squad available to take back that keep. Think of the power in this room. Think of what each individual rider brings to the table and how you’d use those powers in unison to conquer your objective”

Silence stretched for a few seconds. Liam waited for Aetos to speak but alas the man was fuming at Xaden. Emery was probably waiting on the first years to embarrass themselves and Quin was deep in thought. There was a frown on Ridoc’s face as he looked at Liam, running a hand on his brown curls in distress.

“But they don’t teach that to first-years” Liam countered to Mira, as neutral as possible.

He made the mistake of looking into the older Sorrengail’s face. Not that Liam felt necessarily intimidated by the woman, he could not afford to do so, but she had just as intense of a stare as her sister. The only difference was that Mira looked at him - and his relic - as if he was the danger. She looked at him and his proximity with her sister like something she needed to fix. Liam noticed, from his peripheral vision, as Xaden went rigid at the sight.

Fuck. That was not going to end well.

Clearing her throat, Violet shifted in her seat and leaned closer to Liam’s side. He glanced at her, expecting everything but finding her staring at Mira warningly. A very obvious message in her amber eyes. For a moment, the two sisters seemed to wrestle in silence - though communication was established within that simple share of looks - before Mira set her widened eyes on Liam again.

“They might not teach you this battle strategy as first-years because you’re all busy trying to stay on your dragons. You had your first taste of strategy during the Squad Battle, and it’s almost May, which means final War Games should be beginning, right?”

“Two weeks” Aetos replied.

But Liam could only think about how strange it felt to have Violet defend him - and Xaden by extent. It was not a bad feeling, just…strange. He always thought that loyalty was his mantra, the reason he continued moving and living - loyalty to his brother, his kin, his sister, his dragon. He was used to giving and receiving loyalty from a very specific set of people. There was something about Violet Sorrengail forsaking her blood ties for him - for them - that sent this constricting emotion down his throat.

Liam felt like fucking shit. Whenever he thought his guilt was under control, Violet had to unknowingly remind him how truthful and loyal she could be.

“Good timing, then. Not all of you will survive the games if you’re not prepared” Mira continued “This kind of thinking will give your squad—your entire wing—an advantage, since I guarantee your wingleader is already assessing every rider for their own abilities”

Xaden, who was stoic and almost casual, did not say a word but had probably already assessed and positioned everyone.

“Who is in command?” Mira inquired “and let’s pretend that I don’t have three years of seniority on even the highest-ranked of you”

“Then I’m in command” Aetos replied, puffing.

“Our wingleader is here” Liam pointed “I would say that puts him in command”

And the words tasted of regret as soon as he uttered them because his brother’s face changed minimally - but just enough - promising the pettiest approach to that conversation. Liam had just catapulted another dick measuring contest.

“We can pretend I’m not here, just for the sake of the exercise. Give Aetos here the position we all know he craves”

Xaden- the little shit that the man is - draped his arms on the back of Violet’s chair in the worst casual demonstration of a claim. Which was also honestly pathetic because Xaden had made no moves - from what Liam was aware of - to finally quench the exhausting tension between him and Violet. That entire interaction was painful to watch to the point Liam wanted to laugh hysterically.

And to think Imogen and Garrick were missing that.

Violet whispered something under her breath - probably and conveniently chastising Xaden - until both of them decided that it would be very appropriate to stare at each other for a few seconds too long.

“You’re. The. Wingleader.” Aetos said between gritted teeth.

That was enough to break the absolutely weird and infatuated staring contest between Xaden and Violet. If they thought that exchange was discreet, they were both delusional.

“I’m not even supposed to be here” his brother said as nonchalantly as always “But if it makes you feel better, for the purpose of War Games, you’d be getting your orders from your section leader, Garrick Tavis, which he’d get from me. You’ll be carrying out your maneuvers as a squad for the good of the wing. Just pretend I’m another member of your squad and use me as you wish, Aetos”

“Why are you even here? No offense, sir, but we weren’t exactly expecting senior leadership on this trip”

“You’re more than aware that Sgaeyl and Tairn are mated” Xaden replied

“Three days? You couldn’t make it three days?”

The air was already tense before, but it was about to snap any moment. Ridoc was almost convulsing while holding in laughter, Emery and Quin were simply annoyed, Mira’s left eye was practically twitching and the other rider’s were clearly amused.

And Liam? He was having a blast!

“It has nothing to do with him” Violet’s patience was nowhere to be seen as she practically slammed her dragon model down “That’s up to Tairn and Sgaeyl”

She jabbed Xaden on the arm out of nowhere and his brother could do nothing but smirk knowingly. Something was really off with their interactions - more than usual.

“Of course you rush to defend him” Aetos countered, hard stare directed at his fucking childhood friend “Though how you can forget that this guy wanted to kill you six months ago is beyond me”

“I cannot believe you went there” Violet was astonished.

“Good job remaining professional, Aetos” his brother said “Really shows those leadership qualities to their best advantage”

“Do you boys just want to whip it out and measure? It would be faster” a rider said from the left.

Liam had to actively smother an ugly cackle.

“Enough!” The older Sorrengail raised her voice.

“Oh, come on, Sorrengail” the same rider complained.

Violet turned to stare at the man. And so did her sister.

“I mean…the older Sorrengail. This is the best entertainment we’ve had in ages”

As if tired of that stupidity, Violet adjusted in her chair with a determined look on her face “Mira has the ability to extend the shield if the wards are down, so the first thing I would do is send her to scout the area with Teine. We need to know if we’re dealing with infantry or gryphon riders”

“Good” her sister praised, moving her own dragon miniature “Now let’s assume there are gryphons”

Violet smiled in a way Liam knew could only be followed by verbal assault.

“You want to do your job? I mean, how you can forget you’re the squad leader is beyond me”

Liam swallowed another laugh.

“Quinn, can you astral project from the back of your dragon?”

“Yes”

“Then I would have you project into the fortress to check for signs of weakness” Aetos continued “And have you report back. Same with Liam. We’d use your farsight to see if you can locate where the gryphon riders are and if there are any traps”

Liam moved a finger, landing his dragon near Quinn’s and Mira’s

“Good. The weaknesses are the wooden gate and the Navarrian citizens they have captive in the dungeons” Mira declared.

“So much for blasting the whole place” Ridoc mumbled.

“You’re an air wielder, right?” Aetos asked Emery, who nodded “So you can shape your dragon’s flames, lead them through the occupied parts of the keep without killing civilians”

“Yes, but I’d have to be in the keep”

“Then you’ll have to get into the keep”

“You want me to leave my dragon and go on foot?” Emery answered to Mira.

“Why do you think we get all that hand-to-hand training? Or are you going to leave all those innocent people to die?” she argued “The real question is, how do we get you close enough without getting you killed? Since I’m guessing the others will be busy fighting off the gryphons that launch once the fireworks start”

“What’s your signet, Aetos?” Quinn asked.

“Above your pay grade” Aetos fired back “Any ideas?”

Liam shuddered at the mention of his signet. Creepy memory stealer.

“Sure” Violet said, still very impatient “You stop ignoring that you have an incredibly powerful shadow wielder at your disposal and ask him to black out the area so no one sees you land”

“You can do that?” Aetos seemed uncomfortable at the thought.

“Are you seriously asking?” Xaden questioned.

“Just wasn’t sure you could cover an area that—”

His brother barely lifted his hands and the entire room was swallowed in shadows. Fucking show off. His head was already bigger than his waist, but Xaden had a chronic necessity to assert power.

“Fuck me” someone mumbled.

“I can surround this entire outpost, but I think that might freak some people out” his brother explained.

Nobody addressed the power display and even Aetos seemed to lay low after that. His brother might be a show off, but he had always been good at making it intimidating.

“Good job” Mira said once their activity was over “Aetos, Riorson, and Sorrengail, I want to see you in the hallway. The rest of you are dismissed”

Liam smothered a wicked smile as Xaden’s face slightly fell into an annoyed look. Oh, how he wanted to be a little fly to witness whatever Mira Sorrengail was planning to say - the woman seemed ready to gut his brother like a celebration chicken.

“You think they’re in too much trouble?” Ridoc asked beside him.

“Definetly” Liam replied.

“Maybe Lieutenant Sorrengail can convince them to pull their shit together. I am honestly tired of it” Quinn said, disappearing into her own quarters.

It was definitely tiring to deal with the weird tension between the three of them, but honestly so entertaining. Though he felt a little bad because Violet seemed very annoyed at them.

“Vi and Riorson were acting weirder than usual, don’t you think?” Ridoc said once Liam closed their shared bedroom’s door.

“You mean their staring was more indecent than usual? Yeah”

Ridoc laughed loudly “Exactly! I thought I was intruding something”

Xaden and Violet sharing looks was something normal, but that instance was…too intimate. Almost as if they were sharing silent words. His brother would look at her as if waiting for a reaction, Violet did react as if something was actually said out loud.

Liam was becoming suspicious.

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[isopod-lesbian]

In 2015, I played Life is Strange; I was 17 years old, and hadn't quite realized I was a trans woman yet. For me back then, LiS was a fantasy more than anything; not because I wished I had Max's powers, but because I got to play as a young woman falling in love with her best friend. Even before I could articulate why, I felt this deep ache of longing for what could have been. By the end of that year, I had come out to myself and my friends, and I still credit LiS for helping me figure things out that way.

When I first played LiS, I felt like the "Bay" ending was the most appropriate for Max's story. If LiS is a game about growing up, then sacrificing Chloe is a hard but necessary choice to make, and I believed it was the right one. I never questioned the idea that good people will sacrifice their own happiness for the good of society, or for the people they love. So, when I began adulthood, I did so with purpose, but without passion. I did all the things I needed to do to survive and make it out into the world on my own, and I was miserable for most of the time.

When I came back to the LiS fandom in the past couple of years, I got a chance to re-examine my favorite game with a new perspective. I immersed myself in fanfic, I indulged my nostalgia, and I began to reinterpret this work that shaped me years before. I looked at the "Bae" ending especially with fresh eyes; I started seeing it not as a selfish decision, but an unselfish one, a choice made out of love for a girl who was let down by everyone who was supposed to care for her before. How cruel it was to imagine Chloe's story ending with her bleeding out in a bathroom, still thinking that nobody cared for her.

Now, I'm 25. I'm an adult in every sense of the word, and despite everything, it seems like my life is...kind of working out. I'm almost a year into HRT, I have a job that lets me live a reasonably nice life, and I'm planning on moving in with my girlfriend. When I started True Colors, I tried to temper my expectations, and hoped that my nostalgia for the past wouldn't inhibit my enjoyment of a new entry in the series. So, 6 years after the first, I played a Life is Strange game; and, for the second time, it showed me exactly what I needed to see.

If Life is Stange is a game about growing up, True Colors is a game about what happens after. It's a game about starting over, about finding a place to call home and people to call family. Where Max's powers let her find the perfect way to get what she wanted or say the right thing, Alex's powers ask her to understand the people around her. Where LiS holds the threat of the Storm over Max's head, Gabe's death in True Colors is just a tragedy that Alex has to process. LiS' central mystery comes down to an evil man doing evil things; True Colors' is the result of an entrenched capitalist machine that operates not out of malice, but out of sheer self-interest.

When I finished True Colors, I was confronted with a choice that felt like the polar opposite of LiS' ending. After all the excitement and emotion, the question posed to Alex first felt almost incidental. Nobody's life hung in the balance, neither choice carried any real emotional consequences, and there was no way of knowing what the ultimate results might be. But as I considered Gabe's vision for Alex, I was struck by how real it felt. How it felt like the choices I was already making in life, and the choices I know are yet to come in my future. I think 17-year-old me would have jumped at the idea of a life of adventure, traveling the country with the girl I love. But now, I can't help but think of how many chances we really get to find a home. I doubt it's a high number. So I chose to stay. And I can only hope that, whenever I'm given that choice in my life, I am brave enough to take a chance on whatever place I've found for myself.

[ngkiscool]

A pointed question

My entry for @jewsinfandoms #8 Appreciating Loved Ones

"Are you coming, Adam?" Brian looked at his friend, waiting him to join The Them. They heard there was a new ice cream flavour arrived at the shop, raising the variety into four flavours, and wanted to test it.

"Go ahead without me, I have to… help my mum with something, yeah," answered Adam, looking as close to embarrassed as they ever saw him.

"Is everything OK, Adam? Last week you also had to go home early, around this time of the day." This time the speaker was Wensleydale, sharp as ever.

"If you are in trouble and need help with something, just tell us. You know you can count on us," Brian added seriously, a stranger expression on his usually smiling face. Adam was touched, it was not often that Brian suggested something that might delay him from getting food.

"Everything is great. Even better than great," he assured them before they will decide to barge into his house and question his parents. That was the last thing he wanted. No escape now, right? Might as well just tell them. "The thing is, that after last summer, I started to learn something new, that's all."

"You managed to convince Anathema to teach you? That's not fair, I've been asking her since then!"

"No, it's something else," answered Adam truthfully.

Pepper gaze sharpened in alarm. "Are you hearing voices again?"

"Nothing like that either, don't worry. It's just that after all that happened, I started thinking." He ignored the obligatory snickering and continued, "I'm learning religion."

"Oh, I did that too, read a whole book about it when I was ten. Actually, almost 72% of Earth is ocean region," Brian contributed interesting information.

The Them mulled over this fact for a few moments, until Pepper broke the silent. "Which religion are you studying? There are so many of them."

Adam moved in inconvenience, not sure how his friends will react to his choice. Well, in for a penny and all that. "I talked with Crowley, and he told me the basics of the big ones, and Judaism is the one I'm interested in the most."

"Why?" The others asked in unison.

"That's exactly the reason," smiled Adam. "He said that I love to ask questions, and debating is a big part of Judaism, so it will be the perfect fit."

That required some more time to digest, followed by more questions. Finally, Adam had to put an end to their conversation. "I'm sorry, but I don't want to be late for the meeting with the rabbi. What don’t you come with me, so we can all learn together?"

His friends eagerly agreed, never missing a chance to ask adults hard questions, such is how old God is, why cucumbers don't have taste and what is the benefit from a prayer, and Adam breathed in relief. He tried to hide his interest in Judaism from his friends, fearing their reaction, and now his heart warmed with the quick way they accepted his new interest. He should have known better and trust his friends. From now on, he swore to himself, he will never doubt them again.