#more incorrect quotes

[kovalitics]

[kmartkiddieisle]

Erik, sweating: Charles, there’s something I need to ask you-

Charles: Finally! You’re proposing!

Erik: How’d you know?

Charles: Erik, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Charles: I even picked it up once.

[almond-t0fu]

Dazai: You're right.

Y/n: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

[rainofthetwilight]

Arin: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Euphrasia: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Sora: I personally was created in a lab. Wyldfyre: I just straight up spawned lol.

[invadingfrogs]

Mark: As a responsible adult-

JPL: *chuckles*

Mark: … As a responsible adult—

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Mark: So my therapist was talking to me and he said that I really just need to break down my walls and let people in.

Mark: So I’ve decided to break the fourth wall.

Mark: *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.

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Mark: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

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Mark: My expectations were low but holy fuck.

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Mark as a child: I can’t wait to grow up and have cool adventures!

Mark now: I can’t wait to go to bed.

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Mark: Operation no more distractions is a go!

*not even 10 seconds later*

Mark: Oh, look! A five sided bolt!

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Mark: I’m the most responsible astronaut

JPL: You literally just set the hab on fire

Mark: yes, and I take responsibility for that

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Mark: don’t try this at home, kids. This should only be done by trained, professional idiots.

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Mark: Remember kids, the only difference between screwing around and science is writing it down

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Mark: I have a plan

JPL: Really? What is it?

Mark: No, I meant I had a plant. I have no idea how I’m gonna get out of here

[ichooseviolence]

Balon to Asha: ..anyway, it's a party and I'll want the whole family there

Theon walking in: we're having a party?

Balon: no.

[diiisplxced]

Axel: Let's bounce. Isn't that what the kids are saying these days?

Alena: No. No, I don't think I've ever heard that.

@sacredpyre

[sacredpyre]

“Axel: It's not natural for women to fight. Alena: It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand.”

@diiisplxced

[timaeusterrored]

I haven’t done one in a while, you know what time it is: college au incorrect quotes

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Kerry: I just lost my voice sucking dick

Kerry: I wish this was a joke

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Vincent: I literally left you alone for 5 minutes and when I came back you were blind drunk and propositioning the bartender

Kerry: in my defense, you left me completely unsupervised

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River: no more being the bigger person Imma start biting people.

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Vincent: “I’m gay” “I’m straight” Okay I’m Markiplier??? Welcome back to Five Nights At Freddy’s?????

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Mike: Hey I got an idea

Mike: Since people call cats pussies can we call dogs,, dicks?????

Mike: hey dude that’s a nice… dick ya got there, he’s so tiny.

River: no.

River: ??????

River: never get an idea again.

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Johnny: don’t say ‘fight me’ unless u wanna have sex with me or u actually wanna catch a right hook

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Mike: I don’t know how to stop being stupid

Mike: I am NOT asking for assistance on the matter.

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Mike: Goldilocks was crazy I lover her… imagine breaking into someone’s house and being like. Ummm this chair fucking sucks.

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Mike: Fuuuuuuuuck me dude. I have a mouse a cookie.

Mike: great. He asked for milk. Unreal.

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Link: I promise I won’t make a pact with a demon

Jonas: I don’t completely believe you but that’s okay

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Venus: Mama ain’t raise a bitch & even if she did it’s my brother

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Link: I just sneezed and my brother texted me “shut up”

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Vincent: the woman on the subway who yelled NONE OF THIS IS REAL!!!! NONE OF US EXIST!!! And then looked me in the eye and yelled GAY!!!! Did have a few points to make.

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Johnny: I want you to suck my dick ;)

Vincent: suck your own dick im busy playing Luigi’s mansion

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Kerry: wait you would take a bullet for me?

Vincent: I’d do anything for you darling

Vincent: except eat a mushroom, those are fuckin nasty

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Judy: FUCK GET THAT AWAY FROM ME

Vincent: NO IF I HAVE TO SUFFER YOU HAVE TO SUFFER WITH ME

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Judy: I feel like a science person

Judy: a sciencer?

Judy: Scientist!

Judy: a scientist

Mike: sciencer

Judy: not my proudest moment.

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River: cooking together is NOT romantic, MOVE out of my way.

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Johnny: lol

Johnny: guess what

Rogue: bitch with the way you live I have no fuckin idea

[shouga-nai]

"Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder someone right now."

"There are no books in prison."

Sighs. "Thank you."

[sigery]

Onyx: Why is there blood everywhere? Cain: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife. Onyx: You stabbed someone?! Cain: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.

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Onyx: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO- Noir: It was me... Onyx: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

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Blanc: What do you three have to say for yourself? Noir: Cain: Abel: Oops?

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Cain: If I die first, promise to wait up for me, okay, Abel? Abel: Oh, Cain. When I die, I’m taking you with me. Cain: I can’t tell if that’s a threat or a compliment. Abel: I’d think of it more as a grim inevitability.

[cornbabylaughter]

ok

Spooky: *trying to get five seconds of sleep*

Taker, poking Spooky’s arm: Spooky. Spooky. Spooky. Spooky.

Spooky: WHAT?

Taker: …We’re out of Capri Suns—

[kmartkiddieisle]

Pietro: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Wanda.

Erik: You just said it again.

Wanda:

Pietro: I am not a role model.

[moonstone210]

Project Eden's Garden FTEs

Everyone: I think I have depression. Damon: Eh, get over it. Everyone: Extraordinary. Your motivational words have completely unfucked my entire state of mind.

[zombieplaguedoc]

America: Hey cous?

Jerome: *loading his rifle while drinking something* Yo.

America: I'm still the hero, right?

Jerome: *bursts out laughing so hard that whatever he's drinking comes out his nose*

[leo-artista]

Incorrect quotes ft. Stan twins