#more gets lost with every generation
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Tim wanting their kid to have a connection to Krypton and their culture, so he asks Kon to teach him ... but Kon doesn't know anything either
#*hits kon with the mixed race projection beam* woah i relate to him so much#timkon#timkon clone baby au#kara: *speaking fluent kryptonese*#kon: yeah? well dónde está la biblioteca#my posts#esp sad because by the time you get to tim and kon’s kid they're only a quarter kryptonian#more gets lost with every generation
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YO! Being a drawing, what’s there to be afraid of!
#can you tell which iteration currently has a chokehold on me#1996 is such a fresh remix on the original im loving it#ngl that first arc almost lost me cuz of how annoying hong hai er was but it started growing on me near the end so I stuck it out#I will say tho that the love interest arc just pissed me off#thank god the love was onesided and she died at the end#I actually did like yan yan as a character but girl GET UP. HAVE SOME DIGNITY!! I DONT CARE WHO HE IS YOU SHOULD NEVER BE DOIN ALL THAT#FOR A MAN#I love this show but it does NOT pass the Bechdel test lmao#I gotta calm down I ranted enough about this arc to my friend - so hard in fact that I got a white hair from it#it physically aged me im never forgiving those goddamn spider demons#journey to the west 1996#journey to the west#journey to the west fanart#jttw sun wukong#sun wukong#jttw#jttw fanart#digital art#my art#im on the mpreg arc now which im so pleasantly surprised that they decided to shoot cuz every other iteration is too much of a pussy to#can’t wait for the group birth#if they don’t show hole on my screen and let me see the baby come out like im King Louis XIV of France this entire thing will be a flop#no exceptions#im also pissed about the tiger general becoming more girly and changing her whole character for a crush girl get UP
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today
#not tickles#yet#mine#my art#wont add more tags to this since its just a shitty preview#but i rlly liked this sketch so wanted to give yall a teaser#every time i draw sebastian he gets chubbier and i love that personally#i keep thinking abt how roux fits into pressure too#yk he and sebastian are actually very similar as characters#lost their families bc humanity failed them#went on violent tirades in revenge#wound up forced by a greater power to help people they dont like#miss their moms#generally sarcastic and sassy#they really are kindred spirits
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I need to be weirder about the scavengers and cannibalism...
#its been a long day... but im feeling better now. (thanks for the well wishes and such btw <3-)#(-sending my well wishes in return by tenfold bcs. damn. it seems stuff is really going around rn)#but yeah... just. augh. theres just smth about how the scavs sorta translate into more like. thriller-esque genres pretty well?#like. i feel somehow those themes compliment their characteristics? or could compliment their characteristics in a more rounded out way#sure. theyre generally a light hearted romp of absurdity with occasional themes of a not good not bad handling of 'mental health matters'#but they just really shine a bit in horrific circumstances. esp with the sort of absurdity they bring to the table#theyre odd people. even in the context of their generally weird and alien universe. and that right there feels like a trove of potential#its like. ok. the lost light crew? also odd. but thats a huge ship. full of people and variety and a sense of purpose and normalcy post-war#(normalcy being. whatever all those background folks were getting up too while plot happened around them. cruise ship stuff ig)#but in contrast. with the w.a.p crew. its an ark class ship with like. a handful of people. and a whole lot of junk and free time#both just cruising through space endlessly for years. one with hundreds of people. and one with like 6 people.#so both are technically isolated when theyre not making pit-stops planet or station side. but again. 100s vs 6 dudes.#think. top of the line cruise ship from hell with a small town sized populace vs a big shitty boat and 6 starving guys#both have the capacity to become case studies in madness. both could do really well thriller wise. but the scavs being a smaller group?#it only being the 6 of them emphasis the isolation perhaps. less variety. less change. same 6 people for 5(?) years#things could get weird fast. codependent mentalities. us vs them mindsets. an otherness about everyone else outside of their group#and then! then you add to the mix the fact that theyre eating/drinking from corpses?! *chefs kiss* awesome. love it.#non-stationary isolation + cannibalism. ough. perfect mix. a classic of maritime horror but in space! :D!#a big ship. small crew. living while knowing that as soon as you kick the bucket. your body is the meal. your body is the fuel.#no decorum about it. no faith. no belief. just perverse survival. bcs they might enjoy it. a bloody gluttony. with a bite. a sample. a taste#it takes seeing your buddy as a walking talking burger to another level. bcs every corpse you come across is also a burger. and a gas can#also fulcrum making candy out of corpses is so. particularly perfect when it comes to the horrifically absurd. just. smth about it. idk#but also also. the line. where was the line drawn for each of them? and when did they each cross it?#most of them dont seem like the type to jump head first into that. so how did they justify it to themselves? had they done it before?#and then. when did it become normal? a habit? smth enjoyable?#i might be running out of tags. but yeah. them being weirder. esp about each other and others.#nothing brings a group of people together like the overhanging knowledge that you sort of kinda wanna eat each other#(rlly wishing i could stomach realistic thrillers rn. but i just cant. gotta stick to written or artistic styles or risk panic attacks :/)#(ive tried a couple movies and shows now. and cant get through most of them. praise be synopses and peoples long rambles about them tho :D)#(nothing like reading someones passionate ramble about the meaning/symbolism of some gory nightmare without having to actually see it lol)
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that post about bids for connection really hit home. made me cry... it made me realize why it hurts so much when the people in my life don't respond when I do that. sounds like you may experience that too i hope it gets better for you or. you find people who do respond to those bids <3
thank you so much, i hope the same for you 🥺❤️ i hope it was a cathartic cry at least, and my inbox is always open if you need it!
for me personally, i know if i reach out & outright say i need help or i'm feeling low that these people would respond as soon as they could. but i hate to bother people so i only do that when i've hit absolute rock bottom, and sometimes i just wish my more casual asks for meetups or phone calls or messages weren't met with silence or apologies, because a lot of the time i'm on the way to rock bottom & just don't know how to word it any other way. and sometimes i don't feel bad at all, i just miss them and love spending time with them and it just hurts to be shot down nine times out of ten.
#i'm out of work right now so i've lost that general casual chatter u used to get with coworkers every day#& i do meet up with friends every now & then but everyone's busy and have more important people in their lives so i guess the loneliness ha#been hitting a little harder lately#i thought of broaching the subject a few times but i really don't know what to say or if I'm even in the right here#yeah. anyways#anon#ask#lovely people
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There’s another post going around about this, but tumblr won’t let me reblog it but...
When I read a story written by a human being, I’m not just reading it because I want to read a coffee shop AU with a specific plot description. I’m reading it because it’s making a connection to another human storyteller and seeing a piece of them carved into the words. Storytelling is a human act of sharing joy, angst, tension, resolution, satisfaction. It’s an act of love.
Writing and reading a story isn’t just an act of creation and consumption. I hate that commercialism and AI are reducing it to that sort of transaction. Like oh, you need words on this subject and that’s the end of it. Like what we really needed was just a vending machine we can push buttons on to get a fix, as if the human creating the story wasn’t a factor. That the author’s life experience and views and feelings haven’t infused the words with their own unique touches.
I’ve read hundreds of coffee shop AU’s over the years (and thousands of fics in general). I’ve seen many similar tropes reused across stories, and just like an AI would, I’ve learned things about writing them that I will always carry with me. But unlike an AI, a human author is not just the sum total of coffee shop AU’s we’ve consumed. Even if we used the same prompt, the same sets of tropes, the same characters. I will always choose the human-crafted story over the computer generated one.
Because again, I’m not just looking for a very specific fix via a series of words. I’m looking for a human connection through story.
Unlike an AI, I have BEEN to a coffee shop. I’ve had experiences in coffee shops. I’ve had funny little meet-cutes with people. I’ve accidentally spilled coffee on myself and knocked heads with someone as we both rushed to wipe it up. I know what it FEELS like. The machine doesn’t.
I’ve also read millions of things that aren’t fanfic, or coffee shop AU’s. I’ve experienced things OTHER than going to coffee shops and having meet-cutes. And I know what all those things feel like when processed through my personal human lens of experience, which is different from every other personal human lens of experience.
All the machine can do is spit out what it THINKS a human experience is, and I honestly don’t care about that at all. Fic is not a “product” to be “generated.” It’s an art form that connects us to other people who share the same love of a thing that we do.
People who, even when all writing the same characters in the same setting to the exact same prompt, will all add something or have a viewpoint about something or bring a completely different personality and life experience to the story that no one else on the planet could. That’s what I’m actually reading.
#ai shit#adventures in fanfic#i detest this commodification of art being accelerated by ai tech#as if art was nothing more than a consumer product#i want to engage with art made by people who were driven by a passion to make something and share it with us#not working to an algorithm to generate specific 'content' (and can we agree that reducing art to 'content' is part of the problem here)#and this whole concept of 'death of the author' that has been warped so far beyond what it actually means >.>#it just... makes me incredibly sad to see so many people arguing FOR the use of ai in the arts#like way to miss the whole entire point of what the arts even are#but this reminds me of the fic writer challenge i did one summer...#same prompt same set of tropes and every week a dozen completely different stories from a dozen different authors#because we all took our own unique spin on the subject because that's what PEOPLE do...#i just lament what will happen to that vast well of creativity and humanity that will be lost if everything just gets replaced#by a machine that just keeps spitting out the 'content' it believes the 'consumer' wants... it's just... depressing af
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So... on the subject of relative age in Delicious in Dungeon and Mithrun and fandom "jokes" I've seen folks complaining about. General manga and anime spoilers for character ages and names in the manga and anime below the read more:
On the one hand, I do get that people are (or at least were, I see it less these days) mad at the "Mithrun grandpa/old man" jokes/comments because "it's just cause he's disabled" and "relatively speaking, he's the same age as Chilchuck, and no one treats Chilchuck like he's an old man/something about how Chilchuck dislikes being treated differently, mentally, for his presumed age/state of mind".
Okay, yes. Relatively speaking, sure. There's a conversation to be had about the intersection of ableism and ageism and how we often baby (in a patronizing way) disabled people and the elderly, and how we prioritize youth and treat middle-aged people like their lives are over. (And maybe something about how he has silver hair, I don't know). On a more positive note, I love that, relatively speaking, possibly by Elvish standards, Mithrun is at/near middle-age (elvish age of maturity is 80 years, their average lifespan is 400 years), because that's a fascinating bit of world-building.
...On the other hand (please rest your pitchforks momentarily), Mithrun is literally 185 years old, he is the fifth oldest cast member for characters whose age we know as of the English release of the Delicious in Dungeon World Guide: The Adventurer's Bible (after the Elf Queen, who's 372, the elder Flokes, who are in their 200s, and Milsiril, who's four years older than Mithrun), and he is the oldest member of his group of the Canaries (he's literally 103 years older than his subordinate, Pattadol, and still 39 years older than Cithis, the next oldest Canary after Mithrun). And speaking of Chilchuck, who is, yes, a married father of multiple adult children... and also 29. Mithrun has lived over six times as long as Chilchuck has. (All ages come from Delicious in Dungeon World Guide: The Adventurer's Bible; Sissel + the other Golden Country residents don't have listed ages there, though they're at least 1000 years old, and the other elves don't show up). Mithrun was in recovery after the central watchtower dungeon for longer than at least five characters have been alive.
Age chart:
Elf Queen: 372
Tansu Floke: 210
Yarn Floke: 204
Milsiril: 189
Mithrun: 185
Cithis: 149
Otta: 137
Fleki: 130
Lycion: 126
Senshi: 112
Noor: 98
Totan: 95
Pattadol: 82
Gillin: 79
Brigan: 78
Holm: 76
Fionil: 62
Namari: 61
Daya, Invar: 58
Marcille: 50
Maizuru: 41
Chilchuk: 29
Laios, Toshiro, Hien: 26
Rin: 24
Falin, Benichidori: 23
Kabru, Mikbell: 22
Zon: 21
Kaka, Kiki: 20
Kuro, Doni: 18
Izutsumi, Inutade: 17
Leed: 14
Mithrun is older than Senshi, older than Marcille, older than Kabru's entire party, including Holm and Daya, and older than the oldest human we have an established age for, Maizuru (again, the first Adventurer's Bible doesn't list the Golden Country resident ages, and Mithrun is definitely younger than them, but also they're generally minor characters except for Yaad and Delgal). He's older than Senshi's former dwarf comrades were when they died. He's also apparently older than Flamela, the vice commander of the Canaries (she's 170, at least according to the fanwiki, which is possibly going off the Complete Adventurer's Bible).
He is of course younger than Obrin, his older brother, whose age we don't know, but we do know that Mithrun is the younger brother. He is also obviously much younger than the demon.
I also find it interesting that people are jumping to the big assumption that he's middle-aged (relatively) due to... I guess just chopping the average lifespan of elves in half and assuming that's what they think middle-aged is? We know the average lifespan of elves and when they come to maturity. We do not know what elves think of Mithrun's age or what their concept of being middle-aged is, if they have one. He could be considered young by elf standards. He could be considered old. We have no idea.
Thinking about the conversation in Volume 8, Chapter 51: Dumplings 2, it's just about total/average lifespan and how near the characters are to dying by average race age, not middle age.
Chilchuck on p.37: "What's the difference between our actual ages and how old we look?"
Laios: "Well, dwarfs do live two and a half times as long as tall-men."
Chilchuck: "If our actual ages affect our looks, then... ...I'm curious about remaining life. Will we age at the same rate we did before? Or will it match our bodies now?"
They never get an answer for this. We do get rough estimates for what one race's age means to another by comparing Laios' actual age (26) to what Senshi thinks dwarf!Laios is, age-wise (his 60s), and both ages put him near but not at assumed middle-age for the respective race (for tall-men it would be 30, for dwarfs, 100), but otherwise they don't come to many conclusions about anything. They just guess and try to change back before something worse happens. Marcille doesn't even say anything in this conversation about elf culture. She just panics because half-foots live shorter lives.
I would not personally call Mithrun a grandpa and I don't particularly connect with jokes about it. By Elvish standards, and relatively speaking, he is perhaps not, arguably, old. ...But he's no spring chicken, either, despite how strong and fast he is. By the standards of most characters he is interacting with in the story, he is the oldest person in the room, by a substantial margin (heck, the age gap between Mithrun and Cithis is more years than Chilchuck has lived). That doesn't make him a grandpa, either. But I do find people getting mad about folks pointing out this literally 185-year-old being is you know... 185 years old... odd...? Especially when he's around all these by and large substantially younger people (younger people who are adults by and large!!!) for most of the story. Again, there's definitely a conversation to be had about the intersection of ageism and ableism, and how we treat people who are middle-aged as if they're elderly even when they're able-bodied, and about the way other characters in-universe treat him (though the one time I think his age is pointed out, it's about the stuff he knows, not to mock him for it; mostly people treat him badly due to his disabilities (e.g., Fleki with his aiming in chapter 55, Cithis in the Adventurer's Bible), not because of his age)... but it does feel very much like people are ignoring that he is honestly one of the oldest characters in the story, and not by dint of being the oldest youth, but because he's a character who has lived to be nearly 200 years old.
#mithrun#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#I think there's also a conversation to be had about how Flamela talks down to him#I'm not saying grandpa joke away but people ignoring that he's literally 185 years old is kind of weird to me#he's actually not exactly middle-aged#he's slightly younger than that#he is by some definitions young#but remind me when we decided people nearly 200 years old weren't by some definitions old#I think there's interesting things to explore in a character who's lived to be that old#interacting with more races who don't get to live that long but who have different experiences#than pretending he's got roughly the same amount of lived experience as someone who's lived 6x less than he has#like he was in recovery nearly as long as Kabru is alive and none of his caretakers knew to try a foot massage?#not a single one of them?#no wonder it was only Milsiril showing up that led to him having a breakthrough#kui's manga is among other things about how different races experience things differently#and take away different lessons and understandings#and have different values#and navigating those differences can be hard but is worthwhile#like with senshi and the dwarves or idk every single mixed race party#what I find fascinating about the changeling age scene is how Chilchuck DOESN'T say everyone is the same with relative age#he notes the different ways races experience aging#races in dunmeshi have different biology#and this is a core part of Marcille's character arc#she is literally terrified of her loves ones dying and hates the unfairness of different race aging processes#one thing that's important to kabru's arc and the story in general is how knowledge can be lost and hidden#especially by older races who hoard it#and how this can be abused so easily whether it's the elves or the demon#and we learn a little over midway through the story that dungeon lords can be cured or rescued because Mithrun was one and he got away
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random 2007 press conference photo of casey and valentino... save me.. random 2007 press conference of casey and valentino. save me random 2007 press conference photo of casey and valentino
#interpersonal warmth is like. THE under-discussed element of this rivalry. not that this rivalry gets discussed much in general but look#every single other vale feud you will have at least a year where valentino literally will not talk to the other bloke. not with casey#casey never 100% lost his willingness to indulge valentino's press conference chatter and valentino never completely iced casey out#and that's the thing right - casey despised valentino as a symbol rather than a person#he was never really allowed to get to know valentino as a person and he's basically said as much#whereas valentino never despised casey at all. never even came particularly close to it#they might not have MASSIVELY clicked as people but fundamentally their actual interpersonal chemistry was irrelevant to the feud#and - whisper it very softly - casey may have enjoyed chatting to valentino more than he'd retroactively be willing to admit#//#brr brr#i've SEEN the casey/vale asks i promise i am sitting on them but i keep running up against The Laguna Seca Problem#you can't do that rivalry justice without doing that race justice but like... actual detailed race analysis takes a while to write up#so it's on the back burner. sorry#heretic tag
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Fishman at lest reproduce like humans do because Oda said they’re mammals.
Oh, I'd go a step further and say fishmen and mermaids are really just humans considering they can have children with humans and those children can also then have children as well. Not only that whatever genetic difference that gives them fish-like adaptations is rather weak with half-fishman, half-human hybrids almost always look completely human. By the time that child has another child with a human all fish traits are gone, and the only thing they seem to retain is being naturally good swimmers.
My post about their possible different ways of reproduction was mainly just a fun world building head-canon that could help explain why/how some fishmen/merfolk can have spouses and children of wildly huge sizes. Also, if some fish-men like Hody can have possess genitalia similar to his fish counterpart it's not that big a stretch to thing other fishmen/merfolk might be equally effected sometimes.
The thing is I really doubt Oda really gives much thought to how the new races he puts in his story work biologically. If he did, he'd have known that sharks have two 'penis-like' clappers, instead of being surprised by the fan who brought it up. This is in no way a dig at Oda or One Piece. It's not a story that focuses much on that aspect of the world in great detail besides what is necessary for the plot and themes and that works just fine--in fact doing more would only bog down the story with unnecessary information that wastes everyone's time.
We don't need to know how fishmen/merfolk have kids or how it's physically possible for Otohime to have such a massive husband and daughter. It's not relevant to the plot or themes and Oda's already got a long story to tell without superfluous info being brought up. Plus, he just wants to draw fun looking characters. The science of it isn't important because it's the visuals that really matter anyway.
It's really just something I thought about and tried to come up with biological reasons for because I enjoy that type of thing so much. World building is fun for me, and as someone who enjoys biology, it's fun to look at these fish-like characters and think about how they might function with more fish-like biology, then continue that onto how that might effect their culture.
I just think it's neat :)
#ask#thanks for the ask!#one piece#fishmen#merfolk#Arlong#Jinbe#Jimbe#I do find it really interesting that if they have kids with a human nearly all fish-like characteristics are lost#even in the first generation the children are barely different then regular humans except they might have a fin or gills#and the generation after that is just a good swimmer#it really sort of makes it seem like them having fish-like qualities is not actually how they are supposed to be in a way#like their dna wants to get rid of the fish traits and will do so if given the opportunity#and makes me wonder how long it would take for fishmen/mermaids to fade away#if they started to more and more have human relationships after coming to surface and integrating with humans#maybe it's because their dna retains every ancestors fish species#and since at one time they would have been regular humans#when they have a kid with a human that human ancestor is brought out more since their isn't any possible other fish ancestor#in the other parents dna#again i just find it really neat#and do wonder if two half human/fishman hybrids could end up with a more fishman looking child because of that
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isn't it wild how you can play through an entire indie game in a single day and be left with a deeper, more profound experience, story, moral or question all wrapped in a more unique and impactful art style than many triple a games nowadays. for like 8 bucks.
#indie games i love you forever#this isn't about anything in particular but#i think about gris every time the conversation centers big expensive time consuming games#i think this year was pretty solid tho! apart from stinkers like diablo 4 or starfield. but maybe the industry isn't lost#looking at bg3 or alan wake 2 getting a lot of recognition. both are still somewhat underdogs compared to the standard#but they're nominated for goty! and bg3 will probably take it. meanwhile the two opposites faded into the sidelines instantly#i need to play viewfinder cocoon and hi fi rush too (which is nominated for goty as well iirc you love to see it)#but i just love that indie approach and comparably still smaller studios are getting out there#and the indie category itself is holding its own between these and the big studio snoozefests and nintendo's circlejerk#there's still a lot to improve about game awards - a horror game category would be neat for example and generally more diversity in titles#what is forspoken why isn't anyone talking about it apart from like 5 tumblr users. also pentiment where???#but idk. maybe it's just this one year but it looks hopeful for the future. who knows#shut up elis#the game awards 2023#(i guess)
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the vampire diaries 8.16 // louise gluck, crossroads
“and damon, like the voiceover tell us, he was worried he would never see stefan again. it was just elena assuring him that there would be peace. that we’ve dealt with this other side of darkness for several seasons, but there’s also light out there and there’s peace, and damon will find it. if you search for it, you will find it. and we wanted to get that last moment to see that [...] damon found it too, and it looked just like his brother.” — kevin williamson
#defan#the vampire diaries#web weave#not really satisfied with this one but eh#i don't envy gifmakers who've giffed the tunnel scene btw bc the lighting. my god. a travesty#anyway. beating this dead horse of an ep to death to eke out every last drop of defan it has to offer#the contrast between damon's expression when reuniting with elena vs stefan kills meeeee#he's doing THE most for stefan but for elena... go girl give us nothing dot jpeg fjskfjdj#also in typical spn brainrot fashion while listening to damon's anguished declaration of love toward stefan in the tunnel or whatever#i kept comparing it to dean's 7 minutes of incest ahh speech in the finale and. my god lol#like i'm aware pitting damon i-stole-my-little-brother's-gf-and-let-him-drown-while-locked-in-a-safe-for-three-months salvatore#against dean i-sold-my-soul-for-my-little-brother-and-i-will-do-it-again-without-hesitation winchester#is unfair to damon but damon's speech is SO bland and half-assed in and of itself#and it absolutely PALES in comparison to dean's speech it's actually pathetic lmfao#i couldn't stop thinking abt dean confessing that he stood outside sam's dorm for hours before barging in#bc he was scared sam would tell him to get lost#and it made me think that the writers could've made damon's speech that much more personal and impactful#by maybe throwing in a line like “i didn't come back to mystic falls all those years ago /just/ for katherine”#it would've recontextualized their reunion in the first ep and given the hello brother moment so much more depth#give us something authentic! something the audience isn't privy to!#something only damon would know and keep buried in the deepest darkest corner of his black heart!#like!!! i'm sorry but damon's dying (not really) declaration of love toward stefan reads so generic lol#maybe it's a me problem idk i just think the speech could've been. well. better#(obviously i blame plec she gave kevin a whole lotta nothing to work with)#like once you sit down and start dissecting damon's words they don't feel /that/ weighted. if that makes any sense#ok so maybe i just wanted him to say he didn't come back to mystic falls just for kat ! sue me#ANYWAY. someone please for the love of god write me a post finale canon compliant defan fic#a defan-in-the-afterlife fic if you will#or a damon-being-miserable-after-stefan's-death-and-being-really-shit-at-coping fic. that works too#wowee these tags are a mess
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i miss writing mannn:(
#^ guy who gets washed over by a wave of despair and nausea every time he thinks about his story for more than two seconds#worst thing is i know what to do about this (start completely over because thats what works for me with conlangs.#but thats scary when the story existed in the same form for some 7 years)#which btw also means that i completely lost the ability to think up a new storyline or story in general#yes i can worldbuild a whole ass culture from scratch and create a fully functional language but writing my story??? nuh uh#i keep promising myself not to get insane about my forever work in progress story but every few weeks it just happens against my will#krákrání
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Sailor Merope!!!
#crazy coconuts#my art#dnd#eddie#we need more sailor gaurdians that aren't size 00#i looked more at cosplayers than offical art (although like every other one. very much directly referred to an image for the pose + outfit-#but this was never supposed to be an exercise in pose or clothing. it was intentionally easy bc it was for fun)#(fair warning. long explanation incoming. also very little actual sailor moon knowledge)#ANYWAY merope is actually just a snappy version of what Im trying to say#which is def something to do with the pleiades (the dnd campaign is very christian. the associated love of 7. its the 7 sisters. you get it)#the pleiades especially work bc they fulfil sailor moon's love of space + greek myths/things in general#although. upon looking at the actual naming conventions most of the greek ones seem to be villains?#theres also whatever the animamates are doing#buuuut villains or not the ambiguity does sorta work bc i dont fully think we're being all that morally good in our dnd campaign#the stars in the pleiades themselves are named after their associated greek sisters too#anyway. merope was only specifically chosen bc she is often the “lost sister” so to speak#aka the explanation for why we can only generally see 6 of the brightest stars with the naked eye anymore#(the astrological explanation is that those things move! theyre movin right now! the 7 sisters are just that old of a story)#the missing sister thing is funny to me with my girl who would generally rather hide away forever#buuutt she was also the wife of sisyphus. which i could honestly explain away or ignore but its enough of a Thing#that i could see the other sisters working as well#but this explanation alone has had me sifting through astronomy websites and sailor moon wikis for over an hour#so i need to stop before i start looking into places to watch sailor moon#WAIT before I go. I would be embarrassed to not amend my previous statement about the missing sister#sometimes its electra! because she is distraught by the destruction of troy#very well could work better. but its too late. i have written so much. we must live with merope. gods know sisyphus didnt :}c
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The chronic pain has been so fucking bad lately
#And usually colder weather is easier on me idfk#Had a full blown panic attack that my beloved saw...#Not the funnest of times.#But yeah its getting so bad I don't know how much longer I can just. Work. In general#I wish I could take a walk and bring my cat along because she loves being in a harness and going outside#I wish I could swim in the summer#I wish I could go a day without pain shooting through half of my body and I have to brush it off & any thoughts of it being a heart attack#I'm so fucking tired these days#I need to do so many things still. I have comms from months ago I still need to do. I feel like I can't hardly work on art#Without having a full blown meltdown because I've lost so much skill over the years#I've watched my life slowly deteriorate in regards to my health and every result from doctors come back as average or exceptional#Idfk what to do any more#I turned in disability papers in MAY and its still months away from being fully processed l#And is likely to get a no from the first time l#How do I survive another year like this. This past one nearly killed me#I desperately need help and I have no idea where to find it#My poor girlfriend has been getting a short straw for a while regarding how we split payments and god I wish I could#Do so much more. She deserves comfort and so do I.
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I fucking HATE how the fandom treats m.ine. it's so bad 😭
#ash rambles 💚#so many shitty takes... too much time on twitter ruins a man#i hear one more person call him a crazy obsessive yandere and i think I'm actually gonna lose it#he's either portrayed like that or as one half of a ship#his actual character is lost on so many people because oOoOOoOOooOoO mInE wAs GaY#i dont doubt that he likes men. it's just that I've seen so many people be weird about it-#also. it's not fucking sexy to wanna kill your partner. a bullet between the eyes isn't an act of love.#I saw a tweet today about how m.ine actually wanted to kill k.iryu because he thought d.aigo liked k.iryu romantically#and m.ine only wants d.aigo to himself. and THAT'S why m.ine wanted to kill k.iryu.#let that sink in. 😐.#i hate how the fandom treats him SO MUCH#i will sit in my corner here. and i will kiss m#m.ine. and we will kiss a lot. and things are good. we are happy. we are far away from all of that.#I'm not saying every fan of his is horrible. I've seen a lot of great stuff and content! but holy shit I've seen some horrible stuff too#and it's hard to not feel like I'm doing something wrong by shipping with him. by loving a guy who the world has always hated.#and ofc I'm not! but still! even whenever i rb content of him here I'm always so afraid ajdhajsj#like ah yes this is the day i finally get cancelled on tumblr dot com for (checks notes) ... shipping with y.oshitaka m.ine??#I'm honestly afraid to take him up to being an official f/o ajdhajsb i think he'll stay in crush jail a little while longer..#i hate how the fandom perceives him so much!!!!!!! i also just hate the y.akuza fandom in general lmao#i do also like k.iryu so.. I've seen shit 😐#I'll delete this later but oh boy i am in a mood#and i know this isnt the first time I've blogged about this#and for that i do apologize. but i really do love this guy and despite wanting to look for content of him i always end up finding the most#infuriating shit!#i know he's done fucked up things. he's not a great guy. but! our relationship is built on mutual trust and i will NEVER write any of that#creepy obsessive shit that the stupid fandom always portrays him as doing! he's not going to kill someone for getting too close to me-#I'm just... upset- get behind me honey! I'll shield you!#and by kissing him I'm not brushing over any of the shit he does in the game. yes he beheaded that guy. yeah he slapped that orphan.#but i adore him and omg i hit tag limit... oopsie daisy lol sorry guys 😭 I'm really sorry for always talking abt this#you were beautiful 💸
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#man browsing the dorian tag tonight is serving as a very good reminder#of why i don't like npc/npc romances in rpgs as just a general rule of thumb anymore#because unless one of them is a garrus-level fan fave; people tend to just decide that it's CANON and that's that#if it's an option that exists; that pairing just becomes synonymous with the characters themselves#and every second bloody post in the character tag is going to be ABOUT the pairing#so if you happen to be squicked by it or if you just don't particularly enjoy their dynamic; that's it; you're SOL&JWF#nothing quite like having to add filtered terms back to your list after literal years#and then seeing half the character tag get greyed out#sigh#squirrel plays dragon age#and tbh i'm fairly sure this is also exacerbated by the tumblr fandom being majority women but i'm gonna be real quiet about that#i don't mean this in the “women be shipping” type of way; this is not in a negative way ofc#i mean it as “women/afab people are more prone to playing female characters and romancing characters interested in women in general”#so like..... ten years on; yeah; probably few people who rolled male characters and romanced dorian#actually post in the dorian tag still#oh well back to my carefully curated dash i go#poking yall with a stick; keep posting please#i'm not sleepy and i lost interest in the short i was writing for the time being
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