#monthly topical treatment

[ourpetwarehouse]

Are you trying to find the best anti-flea and anti-tick medication for your pet? Learn about the various preventives on the market and choose the best one for your dog's need.

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

no by all means keep judging cartoon villains solely by if they get redeemed in the end. i know some of us like to talk about other stuff like characterization or entertainment value or nuance as something that makes a good villain. but i think the only thing that actually matters is if the villain ends up on good terms with the protagonist at the end. all the Good TM cartoons with Good TM creators make the villains die a Horrible Death for being Abusers or whatever. and all the Bad TM cartoons with Bad TM creators Forgive Fascists by not making them get publicly executed by the 14 year old protagonist in front of the 8 year old target demographic.

i mean im so glad that more cartoons nowadays are subverting the psyop to support fascists that a few queer artists and queer shows definitely invented in 2017. there are so many popular cartoons doing that. it's almost like there are more properties killing their villains now and in the past than there ever were of properties that didn't do this. and it's almost like whether the villain gets redeemed at the end is more about the context of the story and its themes leading up to a narratively sound decision.

but you know. a few queer shows made by trans ppl were popular and they didn't kill their fascists and even had the gall to make them nuanced while also looking into the harm they did. guess it's trendy to forgive your abusers now because like two cartoons said so. out of like 40 other similarly high profile works that just straight up hit their villains with a bus or smth. by all means. keep heaping praise onto that one show about how they "let their villain just be evil" instead of talking about anything more interesting. that's so subversive, everyone's doing it!

[callme-holly]

if you're still doing requests, can you do headcanons for how each member of the gang (separate) would react to their s/o pranking them with the monthly shed thing?Please and thank you!

MONTHLY SHED PRANK

in which the reader pulls the "monthly shed" prank on the gang and they fall for it. [fem!reader x the outsiders]

a/n: i wanted to try a different format to what I usually do - don't know if I like or not but, you know. I have 10 mins before i have to go back to revision so sorry if these are a little but crap. inbox is still open for requests!!

Darry Curtis - 

When you tell him, he is so concerned

He just stares at you, eyes wide, jaw practically on the floor

He immediately starts asking if you’re okay and if you need anything 

Will 100% fall for it

He immediately goes to Sodapop and asks if it’s true because if anyone knows about girls, it the middle Curtis brother

When Soda is just as confused as Darry, he will probably finally catch on 

He was very worried for you though <33

Sodapop Curtis - 

He’s so sweet about it and will genuinely believe you

He’ll sit on the counter and watch as you “peel your skin” while asking as many questions as possible

“So are girls like lizards?” 

You bet he’s bringing it up at dinner and when he does, Darry and Pony just stare at you with confusion

Soda will keep on eating as if he’s just dropped the most casual news ever

In the end, when he doesn’t catch on to the joke, you’ll probably have to tell him the truth

He’ll be very confused, and will most likely continue to believe that you shed your skin every month

Ponyboy Curtis - 

When he catches you “peeling your skin” he’s actually horrified

Like he isn’t disgusted, not at all, but why the hell is all your skin peeling off and should he get Darry to drive you to the hospital

He won’t really say much on the topic, but will definitely ask his science teacher next time he has class

His teacher gives him the most baffled expression ever and he immediately catches on 

He’s so embarrassed when he gets home 

He doesn’t mention it to anyone, not even to you, and if it ever gets brought up, he’s changing the topic immediately

Johnny Cade - 

Oh, Johnny

He is so worried when you tell him that your skin peels every month

He gets a little concerned that his skin might peel too

He’ll watch from a safe distance when you “shed your skin” 

The next time he sees Dallas, he questions it and his buddy just laughs in his face and asks if he feeling okay

He probably won't catch onto the joke until you tell him

Johnny isn’t stupid, but he will almost certainly believe anything you tell him so when you break the news to him and tell him that you were only kidding, he’s very relieved

Dallas Winston - 

He’s so disgusted and probably won't come anywhere near you

Genuinely very confused and won’t believe you at first

“I aint seen no other girl do that, man”

After you “peel your skin” in front of him though 

He is out of that door faster than you can blink

He goes to the gang and he’s just horrified 

Darry will probably be the one to break the truth to him 

He’d be fuming and he’d probably give you the silent treatment until you apologise to him (he’s stubborn and childish like that) 

Was secretly a tiny bit concerned about you but he’d never admit it

Steve Randle - 

Now this is tricky

Steve would probably be concerned and a little freaked out

He’d ask to make sure you’re okay and if you’re hurt at all every few minutes 

He genuinely just really cares about you <33 

However, that’s not to say he isn’t incredibly freaked out

You’re literally shedding your skin in his bathroom and acting as if it’s a normal thing

In the end you’d probably feel bad and you’d have to break the truth to him

He’s still a little confused but he just sort of forgets about the whole thing the next day

Two-Bit Mathews - 

I won’t lie; he’ll find it funny as hell

He’d take every chance he can get to crack a joke about you “shedding your skin”

Much like Soda, he’ll sit and watch you before asking if you’re a snake

“So, does that mean women are reptiles?” // “No, Two…” 

I can’t see him being disgusted by it and it probably wouldn’t take all that long for him to catch on

Overall, he finds the whole thing hilarious and will probably keep making lizard jokes to you for the next week or so

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Tips On How To Be A High-Value Woman

Table of Contents:

Prioritize Your Self-Respect Above All Else

Set & Uphold Clear Boundaries in Every Area of Life

Make A Deliberate Effort To Discover Your Values, Passions, & Boundaries

Build A Strong Personal Brand & Cult of Personality

Center All Aspects of Your Health & Well-Being

Read, Study, & Build A Strong Skillset

Consistently Invest in Your Appearance

Remain Dedicated To Lifelong Learning

Personalize Your Interactions & Learn Proper Etiquette

Master The Art of Engaging Conversation

Become Extremely Discreet Yet Utterly Shameless

Embrace Growth Without Succumbing To Your Perfectionist Expectations

HOW TO BE A HIGH-VALUE WOMAN:

Prioritize Your Self-Respect Above All Else: Get goals and standards that align with your needs in every area of life (career, finances, physical/mental/sexual health, emotional well-being, friends, family, intimate relationships, self-development). Express and act in alignment with your standards and dreams. Don't allow the displeasure of others to dictate your actions or daily activities.

Set & Uphold Clear Boundaries in Every Area of Life: State them calmly and clearly. "No" is a complete sentence. Reciprocate this effort to others. Practice the art of discernment, differentiation, and interdependence. Get to know yourself, and learn how to observe your needs independently of others' expectations and desires.

Make A Deliberate Effort To Discover Your Values, Passions, & Boundaries: Figure out what matters most to you in life. What activities, topics, aesthetics, art, clothing, hobbies, sounds, movements, books, television shows, movies, songs, and types of conversations most light you up inside? Here are some resources to guide your self-discovery journey HERE, HERE, and HERE.

Build A Strong Personal Brand & Cult of Personality: I have more tips on building your personal brand, creating your persona (or ‘Dream Girl archetype’), and an ultimate Femme Fatale playbook linked HERE, HERE, and HERE.

Center All Aspects of Your Health & Well-Being: Physical, Mental, Emotional, Sexual, and Spiritual. Celebrate your needs – they make you human. Eat a healthful, plant-based diet, exercise and walk daily, meditate, read at least 10 pages a day, journal, make to-do lists, declutter your space, self-pleasure, recite your affirmations, lean into shadow and mirror work, create morning and nighttime routines. Feeling in alignment is essential to allowing your magnetic aura to shine through. Find all my tips to cultivate self-regard in every area of life HERE.

Read, Study, & Build A Strong Skillset: Designing the life of your dreams is an inevitable aspect of living in your queen energy. Stay informed, read books and articles on your industry, interests, current events, cultural happenings, history, and any other topic that brings you joy or you would find intriguing if someone brought up the subject at a dinner party. Mastering an evergreen skillset is essential for succeeding in your career or building a business. Living in your queen energy means living in abundance. While queen energy is a mindset, it is impossible to fully live in this dream reality without having passions and your finances in order. Start with my entire Femme Fatale booklist HERE and guide to building your dream career HERE.

Consistently Invest in Your Appearance: Choose between investing time, money, or extra effort into upkeeping a polished style, beauty, grooming, and physique-maintaining routine. Wear clean, wrinkle-free, well-fitting clothes – styled and accessorized in a way that appears thoughtful & put together with impeccable grooming (clean hair, nails, skin, etc.). Stay consistent with your beauty/makeup/skincare routines, smelling nice daily, and maintain a scheduled routine (weekly, monthly, every 6 weeks, etc.) for specific treatments that make your life easier and make all the difference. These practices don't need to cost a lot of money. You choose to spend more money, time, or effort on these practices, depending on your personal preferences and based on your lifestyle and circumstances.

Remain Dedicated To Lifelong Learning: Make it a priority to read a few articles and 10 pages of a book daily. Ensuring keep up with your learning & education on different topics and the world is fulfilling and enables you to enter into a wider pool of conversations. This practice also strengthens your mind, sharpens focus, and helps your brain relax.

Personalize Your Interactions & Learn Proper Etiquette: Address people by name, and offer a firm handshake. Maintain eye contact. Say "please" and "thank you." RSVP promptly. Communicate clearly and compassionately. Make the person feel special and like the only individual in the room while introducing yourself. It’s the secret to leaving a lasting impression, 

Master The Art of Engaging Conversation: Prioritizing self-presentation, learning how to listen, holding your own, and encouraging others to feel relaxed are the secrets to becoming magnetic in any social situation. Be mindful of how much you listen (more) and speak (less). Carefully consider your tonality and word choice. Remember and recounter the small details of another person’s anecdote that felt important to them. Acknowledge their emotions and validate them. Read more of my tips HERE. 

Become Extremely Discreet Yet Utterly Shameless: Do as you please, but keep your business (or pleasure) to yourself. Privacy is peace, power, bliss, and radiates quiet confidence – the greatest telltale sign that someone is living in her queen energy. Learn to hold your own. You will be guaranteed to earn respect within seconds of gracing anyone's presence.

Embrace Growth Without Succumbing To Your Perfectionist Expectations: Remember that every skill, successful relationship, and goal takes time and experience. No one has it all figured out. It’s okay if you’re not where you expected to be or desire to be at this stage of your life. Stop comparing yourself – we all have our own paths. Choose to do one small thing every day to make your life better – either a step towards reaching a goal or indulging in a deep desire. Ensure there's a healthy (not necessarily equal) balance between the two. Leave your future self better than you found your past self. Express compassion towards yourself and acknowledge that you’re doing your best. Everything starts to make considerably more sense in hindsight. 

[magical-awesome-kid]

Day 2 of posting pictures of my cat:

He’s a little mad at me at the moment. In my defense, he got ear mites, and it’s not my fault that all the options for treatment involve ear drops.

He also got his monthly flea and tick as well as a brushing. He also blames me for the fact that he had to endure such atrocities as *checks notes* suffering five minutes of topical treatment while also getting not one, but TWO big treats.

[darkskywishes]

Being disabled/chronically ill is expensive!

I don't know if people realize how freaking expensive it is to be disabled. I have a complex medical history, which includes two rare genetic illnesses, comorbidities associated with those two illnesses, and several mental health conditions. Just to give an idea of how expensive it is (USA-centric):

I'm forced into living in a specific city, since that's where the medical specialists for my illnesses are located in. On top of that, sometimes the specific specialists I need aren’t covered by my insurance, so I have to pay out-of-pocket. Each medical specialist (when covered by insurance) costs me $40/visit. I average 2-3 visits per month.

Wheelchairs and everything related to wheelchairs are ridiculously priced! If you’re a regular manual wheelchair user, for example, you likely need what’s referred to as a “custom ultra-lightweight wheelchair”. The main companies known for making these wheelchairs are TiLite, Quickie, RGK, Kuschall, and Ki Mobility. If you go on the websites for these manufacturers, you’ll see that just the frame will start you at $2,000+. Need titanium instead of aluminum to make the chair lighter? Extra $1,000. Need to add a seat cushion? More $$. Need to add a power assist device like a SmartDrive? Extra $6-7,000

Seriously, wheelchair parts are expensive. Manual wheelchair wheels will run you about $500 to $800 each (take a look at websites like Spinergy to see what I mean). Wheelchair tires will run at about $300 for the pair.

Mental healthcare! Competent psychiatric care is difficult to come by, at least where I live. Most psychiatrists are not contracted with any insurance companies. My own psychiatrist is $200 per visit, and that’s considered cheap in my area. Then, add on the cost of weekly therapy. My therapist is $150/session. Again, typical price for the area. Need residential treatment? As an example, my insurance quoted me $750 per day until the out-of-pocket max of $6,500 was met.

The monthly cost of medications! I take 7 medications. Even if each medication was “only” $10/month, that would total to $70/month.

The cost of specialized diets. Many chronic illnesses require special foods, supplements, and overall diets. A lot of these diets require extra time and expenses beyond what the average non-disabled person spends.

I wanted to spread some awareness on this issue because, even among my friend group, I regularly get surprised reactions on this topic. Disabled people are often low-income due to being unable to work consistently or at all, while also having some of the highest expenses—with many of those expenses having to be paid for completely out-of-pocket. While a lot of the examples I used above were specific to the US healthcare system, I’m aware that it’s still similarly expensive to be disabled in other countries as well.

A lot of this wasn’t even taking into consideration the cost of more expensive medical equipment, like power chairs, as well as irregular medical costs that occur more frequently among disabled people—like surgeries, hospitalizations, and the cost of diagnostic testing (MRIs, X-Rays, bloodwork, etc.).

Disabled people are taken advantage of when it comes to the price of medical equipment and medications because we don’t have a choice if we want to live and/or have any quality of life. We pay it, or we suffer.

[nell0-0]

Hello, 👋

I'm Ahmed from Gaza 🇵🇸.

The war has turned my life upside down I've lost everything: my home, job, and means of income. My children and I have also been seriously injured. 😔

I desperately ask for your help to protect my children, get them out of Gaza, and continue my medical treatment abroad.

Thank you sincerely for considering a small donation of 5 euros for my innocent children.

My campaign is verified, and you can verify my story by requesting any details you need. I assure you, I'm not a robot or a scammer. Please donate and share my story to help those in need.

"My children are waiting and in need of your donations."🙏🙏

Thank you deeply. 🙏

Look, I'm only answering because I don't believe in staying silent when this type of topic is brought up. If someone else wants to check this out (please do verify it yourselves if you do) and donate, then by all means.

Sadly, I'm broke af, this month I can't even afford more groceries than the ones I already bought when my paycheck came in (I'm already rationing food). I don't have 5 euros to donate. I already collaborate within my capabilities with the daily clicks and my monthly quota to MSF. I can't afford anymore.

I'm repeating myself: if you read this and wanna donate, go ahead. Verify it yourselves before doing anything.

This is the only ask about this kind of stuff I'mma answer btw, I've seen how some people have been harassed after answering asks like these. Pretty sure Tumblr ain't the best place to ask for donations considering the track record with them on this site, though.

[fibula-rasa]

Favorite New-to-me Films—March ‘24

(listed in order pictured above, L to R)

READ on BELOW the JUMP!

Forbidden Fruit (1921)

[letterboxd | imdb]

C.B. DeMille and Jeanie MacPherson’s second swing at this modernized Cinderella story about overcoming a bad husband, now with eye-popping fantasy sequences designed by Natacha Rambova. [Gif sets incoming!]

Mary Maddock (Agnes Ayres) does seamstress work and takes in laundry to support her layabout, no-goodnik husband. Her wealthy clients (Kathlyn Williams & Theodore Roberts) hatch a scheme to use a social event to settle a business deal with handsome young entrepreneur Nelson Rogers (Forrest Stanley). Mary accepts the job to keep Rogers occupied, with the unintended consequence of the two falling in love. When Mary’s husband makes a surprise appearance, the jig is up. But, after her husband’s chicanery has deadly consequences, Mary and Rogers are free to live happily ever after. CW: a pet bird is killed.

---

The Woman King (2022)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Giving an epic treatment to fitting subject matter, Gina Prince-Bythewood, Maria Bello, and Dana Stevens tell the story of the Agojie, a real-life group of warriors from the kingdom of Dahomey in West Africa, and General Nanisca (Viola Davis), a fictional leader of the warriors. The Woman King has a creative approach to history, to which a lot of critical attention has been paid—it’s certainly worth seeking education on relevant historical topics. 

That said, it was a gutsy and risky proposition to tell a story tied into the Transatlantic slave trade focused entirely on the West African and Portuguese side for an American (and English speaking) audience. Also, as an avid fan of Xena: Warrior Princess and the Eddas/sagas of Iceland and Scandinavia, I appreciated the filmmakers taking a legendary approach to this location and time period. In its deliberately extra-historical engagement with history, The Woman King also brought to mind for me Senegalese filmmaker Ousmane Sembène‘s Ceddo (1971), which I highly recommend. (Obviously the films have wildly different tones/styles tho!) 

As you might imagine from the description, heavy CWs for violence (including SA), blood, and slavery.

---

Why Change Your Wife? (1920)

[letterboxd | imdb]

A month ago, I wouldn’t have believed you if you told me that I’d be putting not one but two DeMille movies on my new-to-me favorites list! I initially watched them as reference for the cosplay I mentioned in the last monthly round-up post, but ended up enjoying both! Often there are elements of DeMille’s films that hamper my ability to enjoy them fully, whether it’s goofy class politics (hello Saturday Night), racist depictions (hi The Woman God Forgot, which I also watched for the first time this past month), or that I simply rarely enjoy christian bible epics. 

That’s not to say Why Change Your Wife? is somehow perfect—it features pretty sexist attitudes. But, having learned a little bit about DeMille’s unconventional marriage, I see it less of a story of wives failing and more of a story about how two people who have a solid partnership can lose themselves when they lose each other. Here I’m referring to the first part of the film, before Swanson’s Beth and Meighan’s Robert get divorced. Beth isn’t being true to herself when she’s on her mental-improvement kick—there are sufficient details thrown in that show that she and Robert have drifted apart and she’s responding to it by morphing into a maiden aunt type. The film could’ve made Robert’s role in their marriage’s demise a little more overt, but I do think DeMille and screenwriters Olga Printzlau, Sada Cowan, and William DeMille must have been concerned about the American public’s response to a story that normalizes divorce in 1920. For context, we didn’t have no-fault divorce here in the US until the 1970s.

Anyway, why should you watch it? Gloria Swanson and Bebe Daniels offer fun and energetic characterizations as the two Mrs. Gordons, and they share a pretty wild fight scene. The costumes by Natacha Rambova are funky and interesting. The film features an absolutely adorable dog too! (If anyone recognizes the dog please LMK!) [Gif sets for this film are also on the way!]

---

Intohimon vallassa (1947)

[letterboxd | imdb | ELONET]

Teuvo Tulio don’t miss. 

The heir to the biggest farm in the county, Aino (Regina Linnanheimo), is forced into an arranged marriage, but the man she really loves, Olavi (Kullervo Kalske), sticks around and becomes the town blacksmith. Years pass and Aino’s husband becomes an alcoholic and an abuser. Olavi keeps his distance as Aino’s marriage implodes in a particularly disturbing fashion. CW: domestic abuse, alcoholism, implied death of dog

---

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Look at me watching more than one movie this year that was made in this century! Anyways, I’ve been a turtle fan as long as I can remember (photographic evidence below) and I love that the comics have been re-adapted so well in the last 15 or so years for younger generations. (The 2012 show is very cute btw, worth checking out especially if you have kids.)

This take features a unique and kinetic animation style with an accessible story touching on what makes someone an outcast and how both adults and kids can navigate that. Mutant Mayhem features probably my new favorite depictions of April and of Splinter. Also, even though the non-turtle characters are almost all celebrity voice actors, the voice acting quality is very high.

---

Montana Moon (1930)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Sweet romantic story with comedic elements about a millionaire’s willful daughter (Joan Crawford) who, fleeing an awkward situation on a train ride with her family, runs into a cowboy (Johnny Mack Brown). The two quickly fall in love and are married, but the newlyweds face challenges when the differences in their lifestyles come into sharp relief. I love Crawford’s costuming and styling in this and her performance elevates the material. There are extended sequences with classic country-western music tho, so if that grates on you, you might want to take a pass on this one.

---

Leda – The Fantastic Adventure of Yohko (1985)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Yoko Asagiri is a young girl struggling to confess her feelings to the boy she likes. She decides to confess via a song she composed herself, but the song turns out to be a key to another world. Yoko teams up with a talking dog and a tiny warrior girl with a giant robot to fight the villainous Zell, who wants to use Yoko’s song to conquer her world. The animation and designs are top-notch as is the music. I personally enjoyed all of the Oz vibes suffused throughout the OVA.

---

Tomatos Another Day (1934)

[letterboxd | imdb | Eastman House]

Also known as “It Never Happened,” this is ostensibly a short film about a woman carrying on an affair and said affair being discovered by her husband. What Tomatos Another Day actually is is a send up of early talkies conceived and executed by independent filmmaker James Sibley Watson Jr. and collaborator Alec Wilder. If you’ve been around my blog for a while, you probably already know that I love Watson’s Fall of the House of Usher (1928) [Gifs/Stills]. However, I haven’t seen much else of his work! Thankfully, Eastman House has preserved and digitized a couple of his films and I plan on watching more soon. The link above has the short film with an introduction and outtakes!

---

Past Lives (2023)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Past Lives is a quiet but emotionally-rich love story by Celine Song that spans decades but also a single eventful week. I loved the way that the story was structured and how much the film relied on thoughtful pauses to communicate complicated emotions. The actors, Greta Lee, Teo Yoo, and John Magaro, all put in great work here. If you haven’t seen it yet, but plan to watch it, prepare to cry a bit.

---

The Mind Reader (1933)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Warren William plays a carny with a different gimmick for every town in the midwest. When the Depression affects his take, he and his cohorts, Frank (Alan Jenkins) and Sam (Clarence Muse), come up with a new scheme: fortune telling. As Chandra the Great, the crew start to rake it in, but when Chandra falls for an upright citizen (Constance Cummings), the scheme and their freedom is put in jeopardy.

I’m not accustomed to William playing this particular brand of sleazebag, but he really kills it as Chandra/Chandler/Munro. I appreciated how creative and adventurous the cinematography and editing is—not an especially common trait for pre-code films. I also made some still sets for the film!

---

Honorable Mention: Hard to Handle (1933) [letterboxd | imdb]

This film gets honorable mention because while I didn’t think it was particularly good, a few call outs are deserved. The bad: the plot was unnecessarily convoluted and the recurring sequences with fat people were iffy at best. The better: Ruth Donnelly shines as the comedically base mother of Mary Brian and she even gets to do a bit of physical comedy. Donnelly, Brian, and Cagney have a nice chemistry together throughout. In terms of costuming, the matching outfits of Brian and Donnelly are funny, but made funnier by the sheer quantity of mother-daughter ensembles they wear. The neutral: the film is packed with topical Depression-era references: notably Florida investment swindles and trends like dance marathons and the grapefruit diet. All-in-all, the filmmakers could have done less and achieved more.

---

The only big post I completed this month was a massive undertaking: Lost, but Not Forgotten: Omar Khayyam / A Lover’s Oath and a timeline for the film’s production and release.

Otherwise, I made themed gif and still sets from:

Torture Garden (1967)

The Marriage Circle (1924)

Le Altre (1969)

The Mind Reader (1933)

As for April, the cosplay I mentioned should be up very soon. If I have the time, both Lost, but Not Forgotten and How’d They Do That should have new installments posted and I have a few movies/shows on my themed gif/still agenda.

---

☕Appreciate my work? Buy me a coffee! ☕

[opinated-user]

“The expensies were minimal” FOR FUCKING CANCER TREATMENT

yeah fuck off lily

with comments like that is that you know that LO hasn't even attempted to google the first thing about what cancer survivors go through and how much financially it affects them. again, even taking out of the way that the entirety of the last year she has lived her life like nothing happened, has never changed her routine, has never showed symptoms and didn't even tell her own wife about her supposed diagnosis, how is anyone supposed to believe that getting cancer, chemo and full treatment just won't have any consequences left, financially or otherwise? just how little trust does she have in the intelligence of the internet for her to believe that any of this makes any sense? i did a little research (emphasis on little) and found a couple of articles that sound interesting. let's remember that LO has never specified what kind of cancer she had or what kind of chemotherapy, which makes it difficult to discern exactly what kind of cost she could have gone through... which surely is the idea why she's so vague about it. https://globalnews.ca/news/1656699/the-cost-of-cancer-how-much-do-cancer-drugs-cost-canadians/

depending on if LO received IV or pill, she could have been forced to pay it herself and it certainly wouldn't have been cheap. https://www.partnershipagainstcancer.ca/topics/economic-burden-cancer/

even assuming that LO never needed a caregiver and she never needed transportation, let's assume because she coincidentally happened to live near the hospital that was giving her treatment, we're still talking about around 200+ monthly in medication and medical care. if we do count transportation, that could be up 1000+.

this is the same woman who last year i remember very clearly kept complaining about how she couldn't stop working because else we'd be without money... but now i'm supposed to believe that she spend at least 1000+ monthly very easily and without any trouble?

LO does not have health insurance. i know because she said so and that post is still up. if it gets deleted when i publish this ask, you'll know why.

all of this meaning that she'd have actually paid more than the average office worker.

since LO is from Nova Scotia, let's search "how much does it cost cancer in Nova Scotia Canada."

unless LO happened to become extremely successfull in something that wasn't youtube without also telling anyone about it, then no, the expenses wouldn't have been minimal.

[findingmypeace]

Another topic: Work

Once again I love my work with my clients but upper management can go fuck themselves. Prior to my leave I was the ONLY mental health clinician. It was way too much work for one person. They hired another mental health clinician while I was gone and I was extremely grateful to have my overwhelming work load decreased. She and I have gotten along pretty well.

In January I was given a written warning for not turning in reports on time. I have since done my very best to turn things around and I have done well. This other clinician was then promoted to the supervisor for mental health clinicians. Meaning me. There is is only 2 of us, including her. I didn't apply for the promotion because of being written up. I knew I would not get it.

The issue is that in my weekly "supervision" with her on Wednesday I was made aware of just how closely I am still being monitored. I was under the impression "supervision" was happening for all members of the clinical team. Nope. Just me. My supervisor is required to write extremely detailed meeting minutes for when we meet. These minutes are then read by our Executive Director. The minutes do not include verbal comments I make but my supervisor has been told to monitor that as well. Every report, progress note, or other documentation needs to be submitted to my supervisor for review or so that she is aware that I have completed it. Yesterday I emailed her my monthly treatment plan updates. Her only feedback was to change the dates and add one thing to part of treatment goal. Wow. Groundbreaking feedback. Apparently that's cause for SO MUCH monitoring. Apparently I have no idea what I'm doing and need to be babysat.

I had made the decision to just put my head down, do my work, and stay in my lane. Don't make waves. I thought that would be fine. My point was to just stay out of the way so I was no longer a target. That doesn't feel possible anymore when literally everything I say, write, or do is being watched. I am also not supposed to know any of this happening. This is all behind the scenes.

At this point I might consult with an employment lawyer. I have no idea if any of this classifies as something outside of the law, In fact, I think everything being done is probably within my employers rights. But I know nothing about the legalities of things like this so right now I'm just looking for information.

Why am I staying with this job? Honestly, it's because I can't imagine leaving my clients and I also don't think I would ever find a similar job that pays me this much AND would actually hire me. I was shocked when I got hired at this job. Me? Someone who doesn't know what they are doing?! And now I feel like that is exactly what happened. They regret hiring me. I'm not what they thought. In fact, I think they pity me. They are aware of how much I love working with my clients so this is their last ditch effort to keep me on.

It's me. Something is wrong with me.

[lya-dustin]

All is bliss

Chapter 3

Cw:mentions of std, description of syphilis, medieval punishments

Gif by @merlinaddams

Taglist: @mercedesdecorazon @darylandbethfanforever9 @aemondx

The Aemma that comes back is jubilant.

Not because of love, but because she is free of him.

Alicent recognizes that look in her because she once had it herself.

After that one last time that resulted in Daeron, the disease had eaten away at Viserys’ desire and his once mighty dragon had become a most pathetic worm.

Until the maesters say he is cured, Aegon is to abstain from all carnal acts.

A whore in the Riverlands had given him the pox and when they find her, her cunt will be scrubbed with lye soap and she will be put to death for spreading such a deadly disease to the future king of the realm.

The only issue, there had been too many given he had ---thank the gods--- a row with his bride and decided not to visit her bed.

“There is a problem, your grace.” The Maester begins and she knows it is bad news. Only bad news has been given to her these days.

“What sort of problem, Grand Maester?” she asks knowing he will have to repeat it to the Small Council soon enough.

“If the treatments work, Prince Aegon may become impotent. Lord Frey has not had a child since he recovered and neither has your lord uncle, Lord Ormund.”

Oh, do the gods love their japes.

They would need a Harwin Strong to sire and heir. A man to cuckold Aegon with in order to secure the succession.

A bastard will be king after all.

“Mention this to no one, do you hear me, Orwyle.” She ordered with a hiss.

No one can know Aegon’s sins have caught up to him.

Aemma is laughing on the swings she and Helaena loved as children.

“Aegon’s glory will die with him.��� Helaena said beside her with a chuckle.

She spoke in riddles just as she did when they were children, on occasion Aemma understood her.

This time Aemma knows she is free of Aegon. Who will die with no legitimate issue.

The cures for this pox always leave the man unable to perform, or so her Septa had gleaned off the young acolyte that flusters when she speaks to him.

She may even become a widow, what joy!

“And how wonderful is that!” Aemma giggles trying not to be so loud.

She must play the loving wife, or at least tolerant wife in public.

But as long as he does not get into her bed ever again, she will be the devoted wife with a heart full of love.

Especially when she visits him in his sickroom while her goodmother, grandsire by marriage and other people who are allowed to know about his condition are there.

His illness has been kept a secret, well, the true nature of it anyways.

It is not chicken pox that he caught at an inn they stayed in.

It is syphilis, the Great Pox, the Lyseni Disease.

Not many survive it without losing their noses, or being disfigured, but Orwyle claims his colleague can cure him without such side effects.

“Are you with child?” he asks, remembering it has been nearly three moons since they wed.

“No.” her monthlies had come last week, and she had never been so excited to bleed.

“Shame. I suppose once I am cured, I can get back to sowing.” He said with a wink, trying to keep himself optimistic.

The look on the Maesters and the Queen says it all.

He will have no real heirs.

Aegon’s Glory will die with him.

Gods bless Alys Rivers and her magical cunt.

It takes another moon for Aegon to be cured.

Every day he was given strange teas, given a strange metallic ointment and made to sweat so the disease would not advance and destroy his face, genitals and drive him to madness.

Eventually, it went away, and he resumed his visits.

Visits she no longer cares for because she knows her belly will never swell with this seed.

She even smiles and pretends to enjoy it.

And the moment it is over she calls for a bath and goes back to her business.

Court did not lack for entertainment nor spiritual resources, but there were no topics beyond fashion, housekeeping, gossip and the gods here.

Even the card games became dull when all there was to talk about was things with little substance.

Some ladies did not read novels because their parents or husbands prohibited them.

Some don’t read histories because it wasn’t their place to learn anything beyond the basics.

Said it filled their heads with nonsense and all they needed to know was how to be dutiful wives and daughters.

Some ladies were not told about current events nor asked their opinions on such topics because it was unladylike.

“Have you finished reading Hardhome yet?” Aemond asked laying on the couch with his legs hanging over the edge.

Once they used fit there with knees bent and one on one end and the other on the other end.

Now she sits almost six feet away as it was proper.

No one here reads as much as they do.

Helaena could match them, but Daemion Velaryon never returned from his voyage and now Old Castle Driftmark passed to Daeron.

Besides people where whispering such horrible things now that she was with child again.

“Couldn’t put it down, if Maester Wyllis hadn’t run back to the lands beyond the Wall, I think I would have invited him here to ask him personally about his time there.” Aemma answers.

One of the great powers they had was that no one could refuse an invitation.

And if an author or a poet or inventor intrigued them, they could always summon them to learn first hand from them.

Just before she left Dragonstone, mother had the man who invented the printing press come and give a demonstration.

The first book made with it was a compilation of the few remaining pages of Signs and Portents, a book of prophecies hand written by Daenys the Dreamer herself.

Of course, then someone used the machine to write how Aemma’s brothers were bastards and mother a whore so she had Syrax burn it while Daemon cut the man’s tongue out for slander.

“You look happier now than you have been in days, has Aegon improved on acquaintance?” Aemond pretends his own question doesn’t bother him.

They got along like a house on fire despite the occasional butting of heads.

If only this were as easy as that with Aegon.

“Oh no, he is much worse. Orwyle should have humbled him a little by letting some of it scar.” Should she tell him?

He wouldn’t tell, he is not like that. Or so she thinks.

“Then what has you in such a good mood these days, you glow with joy so much I don’t think you need candles during the evening.” He is rather poetic in private, the woman he marries will be very lucky.

“Can you keep a secret?” she asks with a voice barely above a whisper and he swings his legs off the edge and sits on his couch.

Aemma almost leaps over the low table and takes up the space beside him. She is so excited to share this news she is practically on his lap.

“Aegon’s been left infertile.” She says with a squeal. Says it with as much joy a pregnant woman or soon-to-be bride has with their good news.

[tomasorban]

Health benefits of FEVERFEW includes:

Migraine Relief

The oldest and most commonly praised benefit of feverfew is its clear effect on headaches and migraines. One of the effects of the active ingredients in it is its prevention of platelet build-up in capillaries and blood vessels. This is what causes tension in the cardiovascular system and causes headaches and migraines. By relieving and relaxing these vessels, feverfew can quickly eliminate these painful conditions. [3]

Anxiety and Stress

Although the pathway for this particular benefit is not fully understood, feverfew has been known to reduce stress and alleviate anxiety in some users. This is very important for those who suffer from chronic stress, as the presence of stress hormones in the body can be dangerous over long periods. [4]

Lower Inflammation

Some of the volatile compounds in feverfew have anti-inflammatory abilities, which effectively reduces inflammation throughout the body. For those who suffer from chronic joint pain, arthritis, gout, and other inflammatory conditions, herbal treatment with feverfew is a painless and effective solution. [5]

Pain Reduction

This is closely related to the anti-inflammatory effects of feverfew, but any analgesic substance deserves some recognition. For thousands of years, feverfew has been used to prevent pain throughout the body, not just the pain of headaches and migraines. Following surgery or an injury, it can be successfully utilized for rapid and long-lasting relief. [6]

Fever Symptoms

Traditionally, feverfew has been used to break and eliminate fevers. The name of the plant should be some indication of this ability. If you are suffering from a fever, whether it is linked to another more serious illness or not, it can help to promote sweating and eliminate toxins from the body, speeding the healing process and reducing inflammation. [7]

Menstrual Discomfort

One of the popular uses of feverfew is in the reduction of discomfort during menstruation. For billions of women around the world, menstruation can be a painful monthly occurrence that includes cramps, bloating, hormonal swings, pain, and excessive bleeding. It can effectively lower inflammation, eliminate cramps, and induce calm to reduce mood swings and anxiety. [8]

Appetite Booster

For people trying to gain weight or recovering from an injury/surgery, increasing one’s appetite can be very important. Feverfew has been linked to certain hormonal activity that induces hunger. While this may not be ideal for people trying to stay on a diet, it can certainly help the healing process and weight gain efforts for those individuals who may be underweight or calorie-deficient. [9]

Respiratory Function

The soothing ability of feverfew also extends to the respiratory tract, where this herb is able to reduce inflammation and irritation, which can often exacerbate conditions like asthma or coughing. By allowing the respiratory tracts to relax, it can help soothe these symptoms and improve overall respiratory health. [10]

Skin Guard

One of the more recent health benefits of feverfew is its role in skin health. Research is ongoing on the full effects of feverfew on the skin, but when it comes to dermatitis and other common forms of irritation, it has been shown to improve symptoms when topically applied.

Heart Health

Feverfew can inhibit the production of certain prostaglandins in the body that are responsible for increasing blood pressure. By reducing symptoms of hypertension, feverfew can protect overall heart health and lower the chances of experiencing atherosclerosis, and the consequent heart attacks and strokes linked to that particular blockage of the cardiovascular system. [11]

The most effective products are usually extracts or tinctures.

[ask-a-vetblr]

Hi! Hope your holidays went well! So I tried to put topical flea prevention on my cat but the tube broke and more of it got on me than her. I wiped what I could on her but it certainly wasn't a full dose. I tried to call my vet but apparently he was unavailable and the receptionist was supposed to call me back with an answer but never did. Oh well But hey, this might be useful information for others to learn, too, so here's the question: Assuming you weren't able to get a full dose of monthly treatment on an animal, how long should you wait before treating them again with a full dose? Or how would you handle this situation yourself?

Hello, Sueanoi here.

My personal recommendation when this happens to my client is : for a month-long spot-on, I'd say a repeat is safe no sooner than 2 weeks interval.

Every 2 weeks is the recommendation frequency for ear mite treatment dose. i have no data for more frequent use. So i go by 2 weeks, for a repeat like this.

[femmefatalevibe]

What are traits of high value woman?

Prioritize Your Self-Respect Above All Else: Get goals and standards that align with your needs in every area of life (career, finances, physical/mental/sexual health, emotional well-being, friends, family, intimate relationships, self-development). Express and act in alignment with your standards and dreams. Don't allow the displeasure of others to dictate your actions or daily activities.

Set & Uphold Clear Boundaries in Every Area of Life: State them calmly and clearly. "No" is a complete sentence. Reciprocate this effort to others. Practice the art of discernment, differentiation, and interdependence. Get to know yourself, and learn how to observe your needs independently of others' expectations and desires.

Make A Deliberate Effort To Discover Your Values, Passions, & Boundaries: Figure out what matters most to you in life. What activities, topics, aesthetics, art, clothing, hobbies, sounds, movements, books, television shows, movies, songs, and types of conversations most light you up inside? Here are some resources to guide your self-discovery journey HERE, HERE, and HERE.

Build A Strong Personal Brand & Cult of Personality: I have more tips on building your personal brand, creating your persona (or ‘Dream Girl archetype’), and an ultimate Femme Fatale playbook linked HERE, HERE, and HERE.

Center All Aspects of Your Health & Well-Being: Physical, Mental, Emotional, Sexual, and Spiritual. Celebrate your needs – they make you human. Eat a healthful, plant-based diet, exercise and walk daily, meditate, read at least 10 pages a day, journal, make to-do lists, declutter your space, self-pleasure, recite your affirmations, lean into shadow and mirror work, create morning and nighttime routines. Feeling in alignment is essential to allowing your magnetic aura to shine through. Find all my tips to cultivate self-regard in every area of life HERE.

Read, Study, & Build A Strong Skillset: Designing the life of your dreams is an inevitable aspect of living in your queen energy. Stay informed, read books and articles on your industry, interests, current events, cultural happenings, history, and any other topic that brings you joy or you would find intriguing if someone brought up the subject at a dinner party. Mastering an evergreen skillset is essential for succeeding in your career or building a business. Living in your queen energy means living in abundance. While queen energy is a mindset, it is impossible to fully live in this dream reality without having passions and your finances in order. Start with my entire Femme Fatale booklist HERE and guide to building your dream career HERE.

Consistently Invest in Your Appearance: Choose between investing time, money, or extra effort into upkeeping a polished style, beauty, grooming, and physique-maintaining routine. Wear clean, wrinkle-free, well-fitting clothes – styled and accessorized in a way that appears thoughtful & put together with impeccable grooming (clean hair, nails, skin, etc.). Stay consistent with your beauty/makeup/skincare routines, smelling nice daily, and maintain a scheduled routine (weekly, monthly, every 6 weeks, etc.) for specific treatments that make your life easier and make all the difference. These practices don't need to cost a lot of money. You choose to spend more money, time, or effort on these practices, depending on your personal preferences and based on your lifestyle and circumstances.

Remain Dedicated To Lifelong Learning: Make it a priority to read a few articles and 10 pages of a book daily. Ensuring keep up with your learning & education on different topics and the world is fulfilling and enables you to enter into a wider pool of conversations. This practice also strengthens your mind, sharpens focus, and helps your brain relax.

Personalize Your Interactions & Learn Proper Etiquette: Address people by name, and offer a firm handshake. Maintain eye contact. Say "please" and "thank you." RSVP promptly. Communicate clearly and compassionately. Make the person feel special and like the only individual in the room while introducing yourself. It’s the secret to leaving a lasting impression, 

Master The Art of Engaging Conversation: Prioritizing self-presentation, learning how to listen, holding your own, and encouraging others to feel relaxed are the secrets to becoming magnetic in any social situation. Be mindful of how much you listen (more) and speak (less). Carefully consider your tonality and word choice. Remember and recounter the small details of another person’s anecdote that felt important to them. Acknowledge their emotions and validate them. Read more of my tips HERE. 

Become Extremely Discreet Yet Utterly Shameless: Do as you please, but keep your business (or pleasure) to yourself. Privacy is peace, power, bliss, and radiates quiet confidence – the greatest telltale sign that someone is living in her queen energy. Learn to hold your own. You will be guaranteed to earn respect within seconds of gracing anyone's presence.

Embrace Growth Without Succumbing To Your Perfectionist Expectations: Remember that every skill, successful relationship, and goal takes time and experience. No one has it all figured out. It’s okay if you’re not where you expected to be or desire to be at this stage of your life. Stop comparing yourself – we all have our own paths. Choose to do one small thing every day to make your life better – either a step towards reaching a goal or indulging in a deep desire. Ensure there's a healthy (not necessarily equal) balance between the two. Leave your future self better than you found your past self. Express compassion towards yourself and acknowledge that you’re doing your best. Everything starts to make considerably more sense in hindsight. 

[ancestorsalive]

“On February 22, 1876, Thaté Iyóhiwiŋ, a Yankton Dakota woman living on the Yankton Indiana Reservation in South Dakota, and her European American mate, Felker Simmons, brought their daughter, Zitkála-Šá, into the world. Simmons would abandon mother and child, yet Zitkála-Šá describes the first 8 years of her life on the reservation as happy and safe. All that changed in 1884 when missionaries came to “save” the children.

Even though White's Indiana Manual Labor Institute was a Quaker project, it still forced the children who attended to adapt to the Quaker way of doing things, including taking new names. Zitkála-Šá was renamed Gertrude Simmons. In her biographies, Zitkála-Šá describes deep conflict between her native identity and the dominant white culture, the sorrow of being separated from her mother, and her joy in learning to read, write, and play the violin.

Zitkála-Šá returned to the reservation in 1887, but after 3 years she decided she wanted to further her education and returned to the Institute again. She taught music while attending school from 1891 to 1895, when she earned her first diploma. Her speech at graduation tackled the issue of women’s inequality and was praised in local newspapers. She had a gift of public speaking and music, and put both to good use during her life.

In 1895 Zitkála-Šá earned a scholarship to attend Earlham College in Richmond, Indiana. While in college she gave public speeches and even translated Native American legends into Latin and English for children. In 1887, mere weeks from graduation, her health took a turn for the worse; her scholarship did not cover all expenses, so she had to drop out.

After college Zitkála-Šá used her musical talents to make a living. From 1897-1899, she played violin with the New England Conservatory of Music in Boston. She then took a job teaching music at the Carlisle Indian Industrial School in Pennsylvania, where she also hosted debates on the issue of Native American treatment. The school used her to recruit students and impress the world, but her speaking out against their rigid indoctrination of native children into white culture resulted in her dismissal in 1901.

Concerned about her mother’s health, Zitkála-Šá returned to the reservation. While there she began to collect the stories of her people and translate them into English. She found a publisher in Ginn and Company, and they put out her collection of these stories as Old Indian Legends in 1901. Like most authors, she took another job at the Bureau of Indian Affairs as her principal support. It was at this job in 1902 that she met and married Captain Raymond Bonnin, a mixed-race Nakota man.

The couple moved to work on the Uintah-Ouray Reservation in Utah for the next 14 years. They had one son, named Ohiya. Zitkála-Šá met and began to collaborate with William F. Hanson, a composer at Brigham Young University. Together they created The Sun Dance, the first opera co-written by a Native American. The opera used the backdrop of the Ute Sun Dance to explore Ute and Yankton Dakota cultures. It premiered in 1913 and was originally performed by Ute actors and singers. Choosing such a topic for the opera would have been a way to strike back at forced enculturation, because the ritual itself had been outlawed by the Federal Government in 1883 and remained so until 1933. Much later, in 1938, The Sun Dance came to The Broadway Theatre in New York City.

From 1902-1916, Zitkála-Šá published several articles about her life and native legends for English readers. Her works appeared in Atlantic Monthly and Harper’s Monthly, magazines with primarily a white readership. Her essays also appeared in American Indian Magazine. While these pieces were often autobiographical, they were still political and social commentary that showed her increased frustration with the Bureau of Indian Affairs, which fired the couple in 1916.

In 1916, the couple moved to Washington D.C., where Zitkála-Šá served as the secretary of the Society of the American Indian. In 1926, she founded the National Council of American Indians, an organization that worked to improve the treatment and lives of Native Americans. By 1928, she was an advisor to the Meriam Commission, which would lead to several improvements in how the Federal Government treated native peoples.

Zitkála-Šá continued writing, and her books and essays became more political in such works as American Indian Stories (1921) and “Oklahoma’s Poor Rich Indians,” published in 1923 by the Indian Rights Association. She spoke out for Indian’s rights and women’s rights up until her death in 1938 at the age of 61"

📷: Gertrude Kasebier's photos of Zitkala-Ša, AKA Red Bird, from BUFFALO BILL'S WILD WEST WARRIORS. You can read about her in the book INDIGENOUS INTELLECTUALS by Kiara M. Vigil.

[contentment-of-cats]

Text from the WP: The Ambiguity of Remission

There is an art to living in a constant state of health ambiguity — something 18 million cancer survivors in the United States well know.

When award-winning feminist literary scholar Susan Gubar was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2008, she assumed it was a death sentence. Fifteen years later, thanks to experimental drugs, she’s still in remission. Gubar’s brutally honest book “Memoir of a Debulked Woman” gave voice to the complexities of living meaningfully despite the specter of mortality.

I recently interviewed Gubar, 78, via email about living with cancer. As a 57-year-old blood cancer patient myself whose mother and maternal grandfather died at 60 of blood cancer, the topic is personal.

The following was edited for length and clarity.

“The question mark of remission can feel like a sword of Damocles. When will the cancer return? How long have I got?” Gubar says.

Q: You write: “Remission, I could tell you, would always have an invisible question mark after it. … Remission brings a heightened sense of contingency, of being healthy-but-only-for-a-while, and therefore the anticipation of waiting for the other shoe to drop.” How do you live with that “question mark”? How do you find joy when wellness is precarious?

A: The question mark of remission can feel like a sword of Damocles. When will the cancer return? How long have I got? And those fearful imponderables spawn others. Will there be an available treatment that I can endure? Can I bear to go through the life-in-death of being a patient again?

But if the remission lengthens, the question mark generates an exclamation mark. I have survived 15 years after a diagnosis that gave me three to five years! I received an experimental drug in a Phase I clinical study that many could not tolerate, and it worked for nine of those years! For the last two years, I have been on a drug holiday — because long-term use of the medication can cause leukemia — and I’m still here!

When the question mark of remission produces an exclamation mark, the exultation has everything to do with astonished gratitude for the bonus of unanticipated time … in which I have seen my children marry, welcomed grandchildren into the world and fussed over my beloved husband.

What more can one ask for?! There’s still a question mark, but there’s also a thrilling exclamation. With the passage of years, terror shrinks while thankfulness swells.

Q: “Watch and wait” is the medical stage when cancer is being observed but not treated. Seasoned patients know it as “watch and worry.” How do you live fully despite anxiety?

A: No one wants to be counted among “the worried well.” Yet it is impossible not to fret at aches and pains that might portend a recurrence. It is also impossible not to suffer from “scanxiety” as scans, tests or biopsies loom. I search for distractions: trying out a new recipe, watching a movie. A good book can provide a voyage away from myself into another realm.

Unfortunately, it fails to transport me on the day one of my daughters, who inherited the BRCA mutation [which heightens the risk for several cancers, particularly breast and ovarian cancers], goes into the hospital for a scan. She is among the previvors: survivors of a predisposition to cancer. I have resigned myself to the fact that the day of her testing will be given over to fright.

Q: Most people run from conversations about death. In what ways has facing death brought you clarity or comfort?

A: Like Buddhists and hospice workers and activists for medical aid in dying care, I believe that anticipating and preparing for one’s own death paradoxically leavens morbid perseverating, especially when it puts us in touch with networks of people also contemplating their proximity to the cusp of existence. Which is why I continue to attend twice-monthly meetings of my cancer support group. I have had to say goodbye to a succession of friends in the group. Our conversations help me find the praise songs, eulogies and elegies that many of us will want to accompany our dying.

With the time remaining to me — and neither the well nor the ill know how much time they will get — I do not fret about things I have left undone.

Like [Washington Post contributor] Steven Petrow, I seek joy. But, as many philosophers have pointed out, joy can be elusive. It is often a byproduct of activities related to some other goal: baking bread, making a quilt, writing a book. So, despite my physical impairments, I keep busy.

Q: Many patients find it difficult entering through hospital doors — over and over — for ongoing treatment and care. Your description in “Memoir of a Debulked Woman” hit home: “Upon arrival, the Shakespearean stage direction: ‘Enter, fleeing’ echoed like a refrain in my head.” What hacks do you use to endure hospital visits?

A: I hate entering the hospital in which I underwent so many ghastly operations, infusions, radiological interventions, CT scans and blood draws. I bring toys: an iPad (with podcasts and games on it), knitting (socks are especially portable).

Since all of my cancer history occurred in one place, I was lucky to make friends with some of the staff. Until recently, the pleasure of a gabfest with Alesha Arnold, my research nurse, offset the horror of the place; but Alesha died of lung cancer this year.

At my next visit, I will look for the plaque explaining that a fund has been established to honor her: It will sponsor an annual award for nurses who manifest her loving and meticulous caregiving. Then I will sit in the waiting room and remember how Alesha protected me from unnerving responses to my liminal situation.

Patients like me need from our companions what Alesha had: the courage not to sugarcoat our precarious conditions.

I learned from her how to pace myself to the syncopation of fear and hope that accompanies my passage in the perplexing terrain of remission, a borderland between wellness and sickness.