#monster approved

[m0n373r]

y҉̘̥̳̾̽̂͗o҉͔̰͔̲̓̒ͅu̵͎͖̦͎͈͆̀r҈̳̫͍̋͊e҈̥̯̅̈̽̀̍ n҉̱̆̔̂̅ͅő̷̲̜̣̥̀͆̚t̸͍̥̋̅̋ ṯ̵̤͕̘͆̓h҉͕̲̓̇e̶̳̬͋̋̑͛̓ ŕ̸̝̯̔̄̽e҉̝͙̝̣̀̇a̸͕͎̐̏̐̓l̶̙̯̝͕̭̆̍ y̵̦̳͓͍̮͐̌͛o҈̝̙͙̇̾u̷̯͚̗͙̐̏

new art new artstyle!!! X3

[prokopetz]

A faithful adaptation of a literary classic.

[misasimagines]

graveyard shift / reader x Jiro (Tokyo Debunker)

included characters: Jiro!

rating: NSFW!

warnings: if you are morally opposed to receiving oral sex in a cemetery, then this is not for you. FEM BODIED READER, NOT GN!! Smut beginning is marked with (***) in case you want to read up to that point and stop for whatever reason.

um....anyway [peace sign and i kick my leg up]

“This is where you take me on a date?” You questioned, watching with apprehension as Jiro pushed open the wrought iron gates to the cemetery. The same cemetery you had recently been nearly murdered in by a giant arachne and her ghost cult. It wasn’t ideal and you weren’t feeling the romance, but you would have followed this man into an active volcano you were so whipped so your presence tracked.

He stepped through and turned to look at you. He didn’t look confused, he looked like he always did, but you could read the vibes around him and he was slightly puzzled. “Romeo said it was a popular date site.”

You nodded slowly, “Mhm… And you want to look around for more of those creepy spider eggs, don’t you?”

He nodded politely.

With a sigh, you hopped past the threshold and linked your arm around his, “Fine. But next time, we’re getting boba or something, okay?”

Jiro led you down the path, deeper into the graveyard, “I can’t drink boba.”

You sighed and poked his arm, “I’ll get you a lovely room temperature water.” 

“That would be fine,” he agreed. 

You two strolled around under the watchful eye of the full moon. He searched around graves and trees and came up empty handed each time. In typical Jiro fashion, he didn’t look disappointed, but you could tell his list of “where to find spider anomaly eggs” was growing shorter by the minute. Even if you couldn’t, and didn’t particularly want to, help on that front, you could at least make the rest of the night marginally more enjoyable.

“Do you want to play hide and seek?” You tugged on his arm.

He slowed in his steps and glanced down at you, glasses sliding down his nose, “Why?”

“Could be fun,” you gave him your sweetest smile, even though you knew puppy dog eyes and pouts never worked on him. Whether he agreed to your requests or not depended solely on a list of criteria you had no way of knowing until after the event had occurred. Let's go on a date- okay, but he’s pairing it with his spider egg hunt. Let’s go enjoy the nice weather together- okay, but he’s picking a bunch of weird flowers in Obscuary for one of his experiments. Let’s get boba- okay, well, you weren’t sure yet why he agreed to that one, but you could guess he had something in mind to make it an efficient and productive trip.

How pragmatic he was bothered many people but it didn’t bother you. Truly, it was comforting. He wasn’t easy to read but he was straightforward and reliable. If you ever didn’t know why he had done something, you could just ask and he would tell you. There weren’t several layers of lies and misdirections with him. It was a relief. He was so easy to be around, you thought everyone who felt different was insane.

He considered your offer, looking around the empty cemetery, back towards the gate, and then down at you. “Okay. You can hide first, just don’t go too far,” he finally agreed.

You grinned and gave his arm one last squeeze before shoving him lightly to turn around, “Okay, close your eyes, count to 100, and don’t peak!” You waited until he started counting at 1 and then ran off in the opposite direction of him.

The grass was thick under the soles of your shoes and the cool night air had left every other blade tipped with dew. It splashed up on your bare shins like little sharp pricks of ice. You stopped at a large tombstone and turned to make sure Jiro wasn’t cheating. 

He was, of course, not cheating. He probably felt confident he’d find you easily which is why you ran off as loudly as you could in the direction you did. You felt so mischievous, so evil, as you started off, more quietly, at a hard right angle to your position. He might still see through your ruse, but a ruse it was and you were going to make him work for it. You ran through the grass, around headstones and flower pots and benches and paths, until you came across a section of mausoleums. 

You pushed on the gates of few, all locked, and then eventually found one that was almost temple-like in size. There were not closed doors or gates, just a straight through entrance that you used to creep inside. It was a grand mausoleum by all accounts, but quite old. You gently dusted off an epitaph on the wall and read that it was from the 1700’s. 

Creeping further, you were sure the 100 seconds were up for you, so you found a quiet corner and crouched down, balancing on the balls of your feet. The floor was incredibly dusty, so thick it looked and felt almost like a fuzzy carpet. It muffled your footsteps at least…

Looking around while you waited, you read what you could on the epitaphs, seeing dates all throughout the 1700’s. There were two large rooms placed across from each other, each housing a large stone coffin overlooked by a stained glass window. You couldn’t see these from your current position, but you could see the moonlight, colored in jewel tones, displayed on the ground around the corner.

You wrapped your arms around yourself and it began to dawn on you that you were in a cemetery, currently completely alone. Jiro didn’t know your location and you had, not that long ago, nearly been killed by a ghost cult in this very place. 

God, were you the stupid character who died first in a horror movie?

Something shrieked- no, something scraped the window or something. A tree, probably. The ghosts were all gone and Romeo had headshot the arachne. You were fine.

But why was there a crack in the wall there? It loomed down at you, an empty space where a casket or a body was supposed to be. If it were old, there would have been cobwebs crossing over it, right? So why did it give you a clear look into the pitch black recess? And why, as far as you could tell, was it empty? 

Something scraped again but this time you were sure it was a low, hissing moan. Something from the crypt had crawled out and was lurking, footsteps muffled by the same dust that muffled your own. It was only a matter of time before it came upon you.

Something howled.

You lost your balance, your back hit the wall behind you, and you felt something cold drip down the back of your shirt. 

Immediately, you threw yourself forward and slapped your hand over your neck, rubbing frantically at the chill and uncomfortable sensation. Drip. You watched a bit of water fall from the ceiling, right where you had just been crouching.

Drip. It was just water, right? 

You backed up into the hallway, into the moonlight, and looked at your hand.

Why was it red?

You screamed.

And someone laughed at you.

You spun around on your knees, heart pounding, only to see Jiro standing in the middle of the mausoleum. He was laughing at you, hand raised to cover his mouth as he did so. It was a relief to see him, but you couldn't bite down the embarrassment that filled you at the sight of him.

“Did you try to scare me on purpose?!” You demanded to know.

He offered you a hand to help you up, “I didn't do anything. You chose to run off on your own.” He kept laughing quietly as he pulled you to your feet.

You brushed off your hands on your skirt. There it was. He agreed to hide and seek because you were going to work yourself up, get scared, and then he'd get to laugh at you. You frowned and felt your cheeks burn in embarrassment. “But you knew this would happen…” 

He was looking at you with a small smile, clearly very entertained, but there was also something more behind it. It made your heart race. Something about how inscrutable he was, how you could never tell with any certainty what was going on in his head, was intoxicating. 

“You brought me to a graveyard because you wanted to see me scared?” You suggested, crossing your arms and leaning against the stone coffin behind you. You still didn't completely trust your knees to not buckle. The air was thick with dust and the scent of mildew and it made your breaths weaker than you'd have liked.

“It's fascinating when you are,” he admitted. “I didn't want to upset you, though. I should apologize.” He took a step closer and your eyes widened when he dropped down to his knees in front of you, hands sliding down from your waist to your hips as he did.

You grasped the edge of the stone sarcophagus. “Jiro! Are you- in a cemetery?” You stammered.

He looked up at you, unaffected, fingers brushing against your thighs, “It's a popular date spot,” he repeated from earlier.

Did he plan this too?

His hands inched up under your skirt, the tips of his fingers at the bottom of your underwear. “Does it bother you?”

Your stomach did flip at the idea. In public and in a cemetery no less… it was still closed by Darkwick so, theoretically, you shouldn't be caught…and he was very persuasive. To you, at least.

He looked so pretty, the stained glass casting colors across his face, illuminating him like he was the one depicted in the window’s scene. His eyes seemed to almost glow in the moonlight, and you would have been lying to say you didn't love to see him on his knees.

“Not enough to say no to you,” you brushed your fingers lightly through his hair in admiration and gently took off his glasses, setting them on the coffin behind you. Your heart thrummed in your chest and you already felt a heat growing between your legs.

(***)

“Then please accept my apology,” he said, hooking a finger under the elastic of your underwear and pulling it down. You stepped out of it and he didn't waste much time letting his head disappear under your skirt.

You felt his breath against your thighs and then his tongue against your slit. He was straight to the point; It was one of the many things you loved about him. He licked up, letting the tip of his tongue drag against your clit. He circled it a few times and you grabbed a handful of his hair, pulling him closer to you.

Jiro lifted one of your legs over his shoulder and pressed his tongue to your entrance. His fingers lightly separated your folds and he sunk his tongue into you while you gripped his hair and tried to keep from collapsing. He ate you out with the same meticulous dedication he had for experiments. You often wondered if you weren't just another one of those and if it would be so bad to let him strap you down to an operating table and just let him do whatever he wanted. The thought made your head spin more than it already was.

You moaned uselessly, trying to keep your mouth closed as if you could hide the depravity you were engaging in. The way his tongue felt inside you and his fingers rubbing your clit took you past any sense and you let out a whine when he curled his tongue against your walls. You leaned back on the cold stone of the tomb and let out a silent apology to those intombed there. Just in case.

He tightened his grip on the leg you had over his shoulder, leaning in closer to you, thrusting his tongue in as deep as it could go. His thumb pressed against your clit, sometimes unmoving until you rolled your hips desperately against him, and then he'd roll it gently until you were shaking.

He kept going until you couldn't even see straight and you let out a warning without much preamble, “Jiro-I-” Your fingers tightened in his hair, grinding his face against you while you came.

He didn't let up until you were weakly trying to shove him away, his touch providing too much stimulation while you were so sensitive. He ran his tongue up your cunt, licking away your juices and letting his tongue flick your clit once more. You squeaked at the feeling.

You relinquished his hair and he stood up, watching you try to control your breathing. There was something so self satisfied in his non-expression, something about how his eyes stayed trained on your parted lips. You ran a hand up his chest, grasping his shirt and tugging him towards you. 

He acquiesced and leaned down to kiss you. It was a slow kiss, slow and tempered. You started parting your lips, your tongue eager to feel his own, but he pulled away when you tried to further it.

You whined instinctively and immediately flushed at your own desperation, “Why?”

“It'll be inconvenient if you can't walk after. I'll take you home first,” he responded bluntly, picking up his glasses and putting them back on.

If your own embarrassing whines and squeaks didn't send a blush across your cheeks, that certainly did. You pulled your underwear back on, now with an uncomfortable, cold, wetness in them and returned to your place hugging his arm. “What a gentleman,” you teased sarcastically.

Jiro agreed with a short hum, beginning to walk with you out of the mausoleum. “Also, there might be someone outside.”

As if on queue, that same scraping/moaning/hissing sound rang out and you shriveled, blood turning cold as you clung to Jiro and ducked your head down. “What?!” You freaked.

He started laughing, “Sorry, there's no one out there. That's just a tree.” If his laugh wasn't so soft and rare to hear and his smile wasn't the cutest thing you could ever hope to imagine, you would have been more upset. As it stood, you gave him a lot of leniency with his teasing. If your scared reactions gave him that much joy, you'd just deal with it until he inevitably gave you a heart attack. At least he'd probably be able to bring you back.

You slapped his arm without force, “Now you're going to have to apologize again,” you pouted at him. 

He directed his smile down at you while you made your way back out to the grass of the graveyard, “I’ll apologize as many times as you want.”

Your heart fluttered and you wondered if needing to walk was so necessary. You leaned your head against his arm and strolled with him back towards the gates to leave. He was so not getting away with just one apology tonight, even if you had already forgiven him.

[qqueenofhades]

May I present the best headline I've seen today:

Look, the Fulton County people have already said they plan to give him the full works: fingerprinting, mugshot, perp walk, releasing height/weight, etc, all the usual criminal treatment that he's managed to avoid so far. So yeah, he's gonna fucking HATE it, and if I don't see the mugshot everywhere on everything and made into all the memes you can think of, the internet will have failed me.

[youstillcantfuckosmosisjones]

You Can't Fuck Emberlynn Pinkle from Helluva Boss

You're simply not her type. Unless you happen to have tentacles, demon horns, wings, a tail, fangs, or any other monsterous feature, Emberlynn simply isn't interested in fucking other humans. Besides, she's a Tumblr user, which means she's getting absolutely no ass outside of erotic roleplays with Jareth the Goblin King and Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony.

[jaxieus]

Johan things from twitter

Punk/emo Johan and eating a burger

Johan playing the ps2

[dramaticpotato5]

Drawing Epic fanart and it's thundering. This is gonna be gooood >:D

[love-godapproves-ships]

clawmina ???

crackship! approved.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Beyond surface appeal, what makes Ganon a compelling antagonist

I think cruising my blog would provide a good number of possible answers, but I guess my tl:dr would be (otherwise I could probably make a full 24h conference about it at this point): because he does reveal (if one is willing to look) the brutality of a world in which gods uphold a natural order through a given kingdom that will not budge on its god-given right to rule, and him as both a rebellious disorder to that status quo which also ends up devoured by said status quo as just one natural part of a cycle of creation and destruction that ultimately always kind of stays the same.

Also, I find the setup of a man born to a tribe of outcast women, considered exceptional by birth while also having to figure himself out + the role he needs to play in that kind of structure and in a very difficult context, someone who both is being granted a lot of natural power while also still being sneered at and considered lesser and/or inherently evil by those blessed by the gods (while also carrying a lot of unexamined baggage of their own), is just so juicy and interesting and brimming with potential psychologically speaking (especially when applied to his motivations of: why does he want power, why does he always alter his own body, his uncanny resilience, etc). It does come with a lot of baggage, as "the evil man from the desert" is far from being a neutral concept coming from a neutral historical place --but examining what kind of world would come to such conclusions is also deeply revealing of said world.

And then, Wind Waker gives him even more of a window to reflect on his own rage while also never apologizing for the horrors he commited, mourning what he wanted and what he became while also being the only one calling the gods of Hyrule out for being terrifyingly cold entities --far more than he could ever hope to become.

Yeah, I think Nintendo has been sleeping on Ganondorf ever since (even if I defend his TP appearance). But he has a fascinating cross-game story(ies), and I find him to be a deeply tragic --if horrendously flawed-- figure, which is partially why TotK was so disappointing to me, because TotK saw nothing but the surface level + the fact that putting him in a game sells and makes people horny.

(you'll notice I didn't mention Demise, because I think that, while the whole cycle thing wasn't bad or not that interesting, fans really overly simplify this concept in a way that has contributed to make Ganondorf extremely flat, which I am not here for.)

[herearedragons]

.👀

(if you Want To Explain)

okay so.

Adina: See the scar on the back of my head? Got that from a templar.

Cassandra: A templar who was attempting to subdue an apostate, I'm sure.

Adina: Yeah, that's it.

Cole (if in party): Down on the ground, beaten, bleeding. Iron in my mouth. The shield comes down from above — this is it — I call lightning to take him with me.

Adina: He, uh. He didn't make it. The templar.

Vivienne (if in party): Cassandra, dear, do I understand correctly that she is confessing to murder?

Cassandra: Why... are you telling me this?

Adina: Don't know. I just say whatever's on my mind. Seeing you fight reminded me, and — you know what, just forget about this.

Cole (if in party): She won't.

...the thing is, in my mind they already had this pretty crunchy dynamic where they start off extremely wary of each other. People like Cassandra have tried and failed to kill Adina. People like Adina have tried and failed to kill Cassandra. By all accounts, they should be at each other's throats, but they've found themselves bound, by duty or loyalty, to the same cause and the same person (this is happening in the Aqunverse), and they have to figure out a way to live with that.

and eventually they become kind of desensitized to each other. Cassandra slowly comes to see Adina as more than A Threat. Adina figures that if Cassandra wanted to do something to her, she'd have tried already. And they do have things in common, like a preference to fight in the fray and a tendency to act before they think and, weirdly, being spirit-touched, though in different ways, and. against all odds. they get along. they become friends

....which I already like a Lot as a friendship dynamic, but also it WOULD be kind of funny to give Cassandra a bi awakening about it. what if you met a womam who was the antithesis to everything that YOU are and she was??? happy??? and kind of cool??? and then there's the thing about Cassandra being all about Duty and Order and Following Orders (but also she can't help but rebel when she feels like the orders are wrong) and Adina being as close as a mortal can get to Freedom Incarnate and, really, the metaphor kind of writes itself. also I could do something fun with Adina's arc of finding herself bound by duty for the first time in her ENTIRE LIFE because she wouldn't leave her best friend behind and so it meant she had to join the Inquisition and the Inquisition has Rules and Limitations the Valo-Kas didn't really have. and I think her and Cassandra could have some fun banter about this also. all in all, I think they both learn things from each other, so maaaaaybe they also kiss about it. as an AU if nothing else. I don't know if it would develop past a situationship, but I think that, if played right, it could be cute

ALSO dragon-coded character x dragon hunter-coded character

[kidokear]

Help! The Gabv1el fic I was planning had been hijacked by an OC and now it become his villain arc!

[mad-hunts]

i'm afraid barton-core is jump-scaring someone who's investigating him by laying across a couch in their house like 'one of your french girls' and staying like that until they get home + pulling a gun on them the instant they turn on the light (barton thinks he's funny by doing shit like this, y'all, and wellll... i think it might be if he wasn't threatening their life ☠️ like WTF LMAO)

[adm-starblitzsteel-4305]

Astra: dad? Am i ugly?

Godzilla: what? No. You are the most beautiful girl in the world

....

Meanwhile

Batzilla: dad? Am i ugly

Battra: VERY!

THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY RUDE, BATTRA!!! HE'S YOURS AND SPACEGODZILLA'S SON!

Batzilla: Papa?

SpaceGodzilla: Yes?

Batzilla: Daddy says I'm very ugly.

SpaceGodzilla: ...

SpaceGodzilla: Absolutely handsomely ugly you are.

[dream-thief-forever-amen]

The body count is HIGH today…

Dapper Dracula is tired of playing nice. He’s like “what thread count are these prison bed sheets?! I would like to lodge a formal complaint!”

[shamebats]

Reddit is fascinatingly full of ppl whose biggest trauma in their life so far has been either their parents divorcing or getting cheated on by a partner and who full believe that those are the two worst things that could possibly happen, which is fascinating to me bc I don't know anyone like that irl. I attract mainly ppl who would've thrown a party if their parents divorced.

[neon-potato]

if we don’t name the shadowheart/karlach pairing karheart, what are we even doing??