#mon rêve

[sweetcarrotsandroses97]

Mon Rêve | JJK | Masterpost

Pairing: Archdeacon! Jungkook x Romani! Fem! Reader

Summary: It all began with a mistake that followed you like a shadow on a sunny day. You crossed paths with the enigmatic Archdeacon of Notre-Dame, Father Jeon Jungkook, who promised to protect you from demons he couldn't fight. 15th Century, Paris. A lie. A stolen heartbeat and a confession that was never heard. He wanted you. You needed him. A secret turned into poison just as fate was cruel and it made him love you. Bounded by his vows and his position, Jungkook could only keep you as close as a dream at his reach. A cruel dream forged in a sanctuary of shadows and thorns.

General Warnings: religious themes, dark romance?, forbidden love, AGE GAP (Kook is like 30-ish and oc is in her early twenties), allusions to sex, lust, secrets, angst, fluff, violence, typical period misogyny, Jungkook is a priest 😳, oc is described as a petite woman, oc is described as being of Romani origin but no physical description is given of her other than her small stature (for canon purposes), PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS FOR EACH PART, (let me know if I missed anything!)

Word Count: tba

A/N: Hello my darlings! I'm so happy to be back to writing for this blog! As I already explained on THIS post, I am trying to get back to writing and this story was inspired by my original book, that I am currently working on. I got inspiration from Victor Hugo's novel "The Hunchback of Notre-Dame" for my book and this story is just to use my knowledge on the era I am now disgustingly educated on.

*A/N: Sweets, please note that I am not a Catholic and though I've been doing a lot of research, I may still get somethings wrong so please excuse me for that. I am still learning and trying to understand more of the religion to be able to write with as much accuracy as I can.

**A/N: Remember to leave your reviews for me, loves. It really helps me stay motivated and to keep on writing. Also, if you'd like some scene to be written for this story, I'll happily write it for you! My inbox is open, darlings! And if you are interested on the plotline of my original book, I'd be happy to share some details as well!

☕Caffeinate me so I can keep on writing! ☕

INTRO ~ Part 1 | A Lamb Between Wolves |1.8k words|

PART 2 | Heart Of Secrets |2.2k words|

PART 3 | Shadows Of The Night |2.6k words|

PART 4 | Broken Angel |5.1k words|

PART 5 | ???

PART 6 | /finale/

☕Caffeinate me so I can keep on writing! ☕

~ Navigation

~ Ko-Fi

[sigurism]

The Corinthian | Boyd Holbrook The Sandman -1.01 -Sleep of the Just

[cruelviolence]

Amour d’automne 🧸🍂💌

L’automne est ma saison préférée car c’est la période où je ressors mes bottines préférées

Octobre s’approche et j’ai toujours voulu écrire une histoire d’amour

Je voudrais voler le cœur de quelqu’un

Je n’ai jamais dit que l’amour n’existait pas

L’amour c’est beau chez les autres

Octobre s’approche et j’attends toujours qu’il arrive

Mon cœur veut le conquérir et qu’il soit avec moi

Je n���imagine même pas toutes les filles qui ont pu être avec lui

Je veux réparer son cœur et qu’il voit ma douceur

Je suis celle qui l’attendait le moins et je peux être meilleure qu’elles

Octobre c’est son mois d’anniversaire et si on était déjà ensemble je voudrais qu’il me regarde dans les yeux et que je suis son plus beau cadeau

Si seulement nos âmes pouvaient se rencontrer ?

L’automne c’est la saison où on trouve l’amour et réchauffer le cœur de l’autre

Je voudrais réchauffer son cœur et sentir sa peau sur ma peau

Me réchauffer avec un plaid et poser ma tête sur sa poitrine

Je voudrais qu’il soit mon mémoire d’automne

Ce roman d’amour qui attend toujours le début d’une vie amoureuse comme dans mes films préférés

Je voudrais être son ange gardien et le protéger pour qu’il puisse être heureux avec moi

Même si l’amour me fait peur je peux sentir sa présence lorsque je ferme les yeux

Alors que je m’attendais pas du tout que ça soit lui

Un amour d’automne qui n’a jamais été aussi fort

Je n’ai jamais pleuré pour quelqu’un d’autre que lui

Je veux qu’il soit mon premier et mon dernier amour

L’automne arrive et à chaque fois je penserais toujours à lui jusqu’à le jour viendra où nos cœurs se rencontreront

[runecneht]

regret

Nothing has been the same, nothing will ever be the same. Agony's distorted verbal attacks from the near but very present past, the calmness of the wind as it frisk the forest with its delict hands spreading an abundant amount of pollen as spring grows near and near. I ask the question of what will bring me back to clarity and normality but its not as simple as moving on or letting go you have to forget every last drop of blood that was ever shed the countless mistakes and hardships you've cost people. In this scope of matter and forms there is no longer a soul that knows me, now I'm just wondering to leave soon and be put to rest by decay of natural process. That's truly alone now I'm just a shell of who I once was my potential has fallen there is no other word that suites me more then regret. I regret staying a live for those I loved and I regret living, nothing will ever feel normal again not love not any relationships. My heart is nonexistent.

[vhscorp]

Je ne fais pas ce que je veux mais mon âme est libre, personne ne la gouverne, personne ne la contraint, personne ne la domine, elle m’appartient, tout comme mes rêves, et ça, jamais personne ne me l’enlèvera…

V. H. SCORP

[unionizedwizard]

literally the only thing that unites ALL french people, regardless of class, values, background, milieu, job, etc, is that they're physically unable to write a grammatically correct interrogative sentence. i am the lone delusional knight fighting windmills out there (l'inversion du sujet dont personne ne semble avoir entendu parler, apparemment)

[sloubs]

besoin de voir une drag queen cracheuse de feu qui performe en arthur pendragon et qui fout le feu à son épée

[disease]

COCOROSIE // BY YOUR SIDE [LA MAISON DE MON RÊVE, 2004]

I'll always be by your side Even when you're down and out

[kaianqelic]

noun ; kai·ah me·i /ˈkaɪ.ə/ /'meɪ/ — kaia; pure; to rejoice; — mei; plum; beautiful; bright; bud, sprout; — of a joyful and beautiful life.

l&ds-based rp blog. admin/muse 21+. gmt+8. in the process of moving from @kaiarchived. please read through the carrd before interacting. see also: thread tracker / prompts. tags & verses under the cut.

admin: @sunmerberrie / other rps: @mikiquette (mc/self-insert), @thomasicism (canon)

— TAGS & VERSES ;

Please refer to the following for the tags that will be used on the blogs, including current ships/verses. Note that this section of the carrd explains Kaia's lore!

[ GENERAL ]

about kaia — of the muse out of character — behind the cloud. ooc suggestive posts — cw. suggestive. explicit posts — cw. explicit. queued posts — queue'lque chose reblogs — encore (reblog) prompts — la rêverie (prompts) answered — lire dans mon coeur… (inbox) roleplay — j’écris ton nom thoughts — s'endormir dans un rêve sans fin (musings) moments posts — mots doux (moments) main verse — la vie en rose secondary verse — le coeur a ses raisons royal au verse — emmenè-moi

[ MAIN VERSES ]

la vie en rose. kaia’s main storyline verse follows the tag “la vie en rose”. this is the storyline most in-tune with her character development in relation to canon in-game events, and closely follows her modified lore. in this verse, kaia follows a developing relationship with xavier.

le coeur a ses raisons. this is a secondary verse where kaia falls for neither of the main leads. specifically, this verse revolves around her relationship with jeremiah. usually included under this verse are interactions with other ocs whose main verses/primary ships also involve xavier.

NOTE : For new threads, la vie en rose is the default verse being roleplayed, unless something else was mutually potted beforehand. Any roleplay interaction under either of the tags above will automatically follow their respective specifications. Each roleplay interaction will be tagged with a personal character label (lines taken from French media, usually poetry). If none of the tags above are added to the interaction, the personal character label will serve as its own verse tag.

[ CHARACTER TAGS ]

CALEB — caleb ; sous un ciel d'azur au milieu de l'éte — under an azure sky in the middle of summer, 'Eden Sentimental (I)' by Stéphen Moysan — main verse; platonic

GREYSON — grey ; la courbe de tes yeux fait le tour de mon coeur — the curve of your eyes trace a path on my heart, 'La Courbe de tes Yeux' by Paul Éluard — greyson as her primary care physician; developing relationship

JEREMIAH — miah ; nous allons fleurir les beaux pissenlits d'or — we will make lovely golden dandelions blossom, 'Triste, Triste' by Jules Laforgue — secondary verse; dating.

LUKE & KIERAN — luke ; ton amour mon éveil—, kieran ; ta douceur en soirée—, l&k ; —et toi pour le reste de mes jours. — your love my awakening, your sweetness in the evening, and you for the rest of my days, 'L'autopsie du verbe (II)' by Stéphen Moysan — oblivious in love; developing relationship

RAFAYEL — rafa ; dis que c'est par amour que ton coeur l'a choisie — say that it is out of love that your heart has chosen it, 'Quand le fil de ma vie' by Marceline Desbordes-Valmore — exes to lovers trope

SYLUS — sy ; de ces pleurs je fais—un parfum d’ambre et de miel — from these tears I make—a fragrance of amber and of honey, 'La tombe dit à la rose' by Victor Hugo. —

XAVIER — xavi ; morte la nuit—la mémoire des étoiles brûle — when night has died—the stars’ memory keeps burning, 'Morte la Nuit' by Claire Malroux — main verse; dating

YVONNE — yv ; dans la foule je t’ai vue — in the crowd i saw you, 'Air Vif' by Paul Éluard — friends to lovers; developing relationship

ZAYNE — zayne ; car j'ai vécu de vous attendre — for i have lived for waiting for you — 'Les Pas' by Paul Valéry — friends to lovers; developing relationship

AZALEA — lea ; refroidi sous ce soleil joyeux — cooled under the merry sun, 'Soleils Couchants' by Victor Hugo — best friends to lovers; developing relationship.

CHESHIRE — chesh ; dit le chat—nous sommes tous fous ici —said the cat—we’re all mad here, 'Alice in Wonderland' by Lewis Carroll — main verse; platonic; cheshire as 'jess'

DOLASACH — dola ; où l’amour à longs flots nous verse le bonheur — when love pours forth huge floods of happiness, 'Le Lac' by Alphonse de Lamartine — main verse; platonic

EMAH — emah ; dans la nuit éternelle emportés sans retour — into the eternal night carried away without return, 'Le Lac' by Alphonse de Lamartine — black cat x golden retriever; developing relationship.

LILY — lily ; et le soleil plus brûlant qu’aujourd’hui — and the sun burned brighter than today, 'Les Feuilles Mortes' by Jacques Prévert — secondary verse; platonic; coworkers

MAEVE — mae ; n'emportez que l'espérance — take only hope, 'Bon Voyage' by Henri-Frédéric Amiel — main verse; exes to best friends; platonic

MORGAN — mora ; tout vous sourit — everything smiles at you, 'Les Rêveurs Amoureux d'une Étoile' by Clément Michaëls — developing relationship

STAR — star ; voyez valser les mondes — see the worlds waltz, 'Étoiles' by Théophil Gautier — main verse; platonic

[trashlord-watson]

ptn je savais pas qu'il y aurait des aurores boréales la nuit dernière, visible même depuis le finistère, j'ai tout loupé, j'ai envie de chialer vous avez même pas idée

[sweetcarrotsandroses97]

~ Shadows Of The Night |3| Mon Rêve

Pairing: Archdeacon! Jungkook x Romani! Fem! Reader

Summary: It all began with a mistake that followed you like a shadow on a sunny day. You crossed paths with the enigmatic Archdeacon of Notre-Dame, Father Jeon Jungkook, who promised to protect you from demons he couldn't fight. 15th Century, Paris. A lie. A stolen heartbeat and a confession that was never heard. He wanted you. You needed him. A secret turned into poison just as fate was cruel and it made him love you. Bounded by his vows and his position, Jungkook could only keep you as close as a dream at his reach. A cruel dream forged in a sanctuary of shadows and thorns.

Warnings: religious themes, dark romance?, forbidden love, AGE GAP (Kook is like 30-ish and oc is in her early twenties), angst, Jungkook is a priest 😳, oc is described as a petite woman, oc is described as being of Romani origin but no physical description is given of her other than her small stature (for canon purposes), injury, blood, implied attack on oc, fainting, Jungkook prays, (let me know if I missed anything!)

Word Count: 2.6k words

A/N: I know it has taken my like 3-4 months to write this part, I am so sorry, my darlings!!! I hope you will enjoy it and I will get back on track with my writing schedule. A lot has been going on in my life but I am finally settling back.

I finished my project successfully and I will present it on Thursday but it is practically finished and I will be going on a family holiday on Friday (a much needed mental break) and I hope I'll come back with lots and lots of inspiration. Take care, my darlings and enjoy the chapter.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments! You know I love to hear what you think of the chapter 🫶🫶🫶

Months passed, days that were too long and nights that were too slow and the passage of time felt like an eternity to Jungkook. The cold stone walls of the cathedral, once a place of solace and reverence, now seemed to close in on him. The weight of his devotion, the chains of his duties, had become suffocating in the absence of you. His prayers, once filled with fervent faith, now held your name, whispered desperately in the quiet hours of the night when no one else could hear.

Each day, he rose at dawn, his heart heavy with longing, hoping that perhaps today would be the day he saw you again. His steps through the cathedral were slower, his gaze always drifting toward the door, half-expecting you to walk through it with that same determined fire in your eyes. But you never came.

Every time he walked through the streets of Paris, he scanned the faces of the passersby, searching for a glimpse of your (h/c) hair, the sound of your anklet bells, or even the faintest echo of your voice. He asked discreet questions, careful not to arouse suspicion among the parishioners or his fellow clergymen, but no one seemed to know where you had gone. It was as if you had vanished into thin air, leaving only the memory of your haunting words and the amulet he kept close to his heart.

He tried to focus on his duties—on the sermons, on the confessions, on the endless prayers that filled his days—but your absence gnawed at him, a hollow ache that refused to heal. He could still feel the ghost of your wrist beneath his fingertips, the soft, fleeting touch that had ignited something dangerous within him. His dreams were plagued by visions of you, and when he woke, he was left with an unbearable emptiness.

The guilt ate away at him, too. How could he, a man sworn to serve God, allow himself to be consumed by thoughts of you? How could he forsake his vows for the sake of a Romani girl he barely knew? Yet, every time he questioned himself, his mind drifted back to the moment you looked into his eyes, the way your voice had trembled with fear and sorrow.

“I am a dead woman walking.”

Those words echoed endlessly in his mind. What did they mean? What had you been running from? And why did you fear dragging him into your darkness? He had no answers, only the certainty that he could not let this go. He needed to know. He needed to find you.

One evening, as Jungkook knelt before the altar, bathed in the dim glow of candlelight, he made a decision that would alter the course of his life forever. His fingers traced the edge of the silver bracelet you had left behind, his mind wrestling with the growing conflict in his heart. For months, he had fought it, tried to suppress the flame that had been lit the night he first laid eyes on you. But no longer. The fire had consumed him, burned away the facade of his holy devotion, and left only one undeniable truth: he would do anything to find you.

But he didn’t know where to look. He didn’t know where to even start. A helplessness gripped his heart with fierce claws, tearing at his sanity. There was nothing he could do despite the desire to give everything for you. 

The flickering candle light illuminated his path as Jungkook climbed up the stairs that led up to his study. The walls around him were cold, the echoes of his footsteps being the only thing that he heard. Slow, calculated footsteps that carried him to his study. 

Jungkook sighed as he entered the familiar place he often worked at. The large desk with piles of paperwork yet to complete seemed to mock him as he stared at them with disinterest. The wall behind his desk was filled with books, the pillars of the faith he had sworn to devote himself into but now those vows were tainted by the darkness of his thoughts. 

The archdeacon ran a hand through his hair, his hand playing with the rosary he always carries with himself as his long fingers traced the beads made of wood. He walked toward the window that outsaw the courtyard, the very street before the grand cathedral was drowned by the shadows of the night, illuminated only by the silver spectre of the moon. 

As Jungkook stared out into the night, the weight of the moon’s pale light seemed to press down on him, cold and unforgiving. The courtyard below, once a place of peaceful reflection, now felt distant and empty—a hollow shell that mirrored the void in his chest. His grip on the rosary tightened as if the wooden beads could somehow anchor him to the faith he was slowly losing grip on.

He looked down with a sigh, his dark eyes staring down at the rosary, remembering the countless prayers he had spoken in this very cathedral, in this very room. Those words were now hollow. A tightness in his chest, a thorn in his heart. 

Jungkook looked up, his eyes narrowing as he saw something moving through the streets. He frowned, holding his breath in anticipation as the darkness made it seem as if whatever he had seen was a trick of his imagination But there it was again. The shadows dancing among the darkness. He saw someone, a person. They were running. He saw a dress. A woman. Sprinting to the cathedral. He saw movement behind her, more shadows he couldn’t count from here he stood. They were chasing her. And as soon as she stepped into the courtyard of Notre-Dame, the moon illuminated her hair, (h/c) in its nature. 

“(y/n).”

Your name left his lips in a breath before he left his study, the rosary slipped from his fingers clattering to the floor and the beads spread across the ground. Some of them were lost forever but Jungkook didn’t look back, he was already out of the door and down the hallway, his long robes billowing behind him. 

You were running. You ran with all your might. You didn’t dare look back. Your hands were fisting the skirts of your dress as you bolted through the streets of Paris. The cathedral loomed before you like a safe haven, its towering arches and intricate carvings lit by the soft glow of the moon. You could hear their footsteps behind you, the sound of boots pounding against the cobblestones, growing closer. Your breath came in ragged gasps, your legs ached from running, and your heart pounded in your chest with a rhythm that echoed your fear.

Notre-Dame was close now, so close. You just needed to reach the entrance—just a few more steps. You fisted your skirts tighter, pushing yourself to move faster, to escape the shadows chasing you. You had no other thought but to get to the safety of the church, where no one could touch you.

Where he would protect you.

You burst into the courtyard, the moonlight catching the strands of your hair as you stumbled toward the grand doors. The cathedral seemed to wrap around you like a fortress, the nave an infinite path ahead of you, its towering structure providing the sanctuary you so desperately sought. And standing in the centre of it all, just as you had imagined, was Jungkook.

He looked desperate, his eyes, normally holding such an unwavering faith were now filled with anguish as he made his way to you, nearly running. You didn’t stop, you couldn’t and you met him at the centre of the nave, under the big chandelier with a thousand candles above your heads. You ran toward him, your feet barely keeping pace with the desperation in your chest. The moment your body collided with his, his arms wrapped around you without hesitation, pulling you close, shielding you from everything and everyone that might come after you.

“(y/n)...”

“I-I claim Sanctuary.”

You managed to gasp out, clutching his robes as though they were the only thing keeping you from falling apart. Your chest heaved with exhaustion, your words a desperate plea that echoed in the cavernous space of the cathedral.

Jungkook tightened his grip around you, his tall frame towering over yours as he stood protectively before the altar. But just as he was going to take you further into the cathedral, the grand doors opened harshly and several men entered the sacred place with airs of violence. The archdeacon frowned, moving you so that you stood behind him as he faced whatever threat had forced you to seek safety in his domain. 

“Give us the girl, priest.”

One of the men spoke, his voice rough, his complexion robust and tall and your hands fisted Jungkook’s robes from behind. 

“This woman is under the protection of the Church.”

Jungkook spoke, his voice rang out, strong and commanding, addressing the men who had stormed into the courtyard behind you. His tone left no room for argument, and his eyes narrowed as he met the gaze of each of your pursuers. 

“Any harm that comes to her will be seen as an affront to God Himself.”

The men exchanged uneasy glances, their hands twitching toward the hilts of their weapons, but they knew better than to challenge the church. The cathedral guards, alerted by the commotion, stepped forward, their armour gleaming in the dim light as they brandished their weapons. The men hesitated at the threshold, their eyes flicking nervously between each other and the guards stationed at the cathedral. The authority of the church was not something easily contested, and they knew it.

Slowly, one by one, they began to retreat, disappearing into the shadows of the night, though their presence left a bitter chill in the air. The tension dissipated, like fog in the morning. 

Jungkook turned to look at you yet he frowned as he saw you trembling. Your hands fisted his dark robes and as you looked up at him, he noticed your eyes, those beautiful and expressive (e/c) eyes were wide with fear. Tears of panic formed in your lash line as you blinked up at the archdeacon that had defended you from harm. 

“(y/n),”

A shuddering breath escaped your lips at the way he said your name. In that deep voice of his. With that authority he always carried. Yet the syllables of your name were tainted with underlying sentiment you couldn’t decipher even if you had wanted to. 

“(y/n), you are safe. It’s over.”

But you shook your head. Your chest tightened and the tears spilled over. You were exhausted and scared. You bit your lip to try and stop the panic from taking over. Your breathing was erratic and you clung to him with desperation in your grip. 

His large hands tightened where they rested on top of your shoulders, he didn’t know whether to pull you closer or push you away. This was becoming too much. His heart was seizing at the proximity, at the sheer physical contact with you. 

You looked up at him once more, your eyes meeting his and he was stunned as he saw the fear swimming in your soul. Yet what really made his stomach drop was the glazed over way your eyes held his own. 

“Jungkook.”

A simple whisper. The whisper of his name. Very few had ever spoken to him by his first name since he became the archdeacon. But you didn’t see him as the defender of Notre-Dame. You saw him as your protector. 

He frowned down at you as your body slackened, his hold on you tightened before he took you fully into his arms, pressing you against his chest. One of his large hands rested on your waist while the other cupped the back of your head. 

“You are safe. I promise.”

But you shook your head even as he whispered those words to your ear. Your body trembled against him, and he could feel the erratic rhythm of your breath hitching as you leaned into him. 

“I… I can’t-”

You didn’t even finish your sentence as your knees buckled. His hold around you tightened before he lowered you to the ground as he held you firmly against him. That was when Jungkook saw it. Your dress, tattered and dirty, was stained with blood. Your blood. His calloused hand pressed against the wound, feeling the warm sticky liquid taint his palm and fingers. 

“(y/n), (y/n)! Open your eyes!”

Jungkook’s voice echoed through the cathedral, cracking with a desperation that felt foreign to him. He cradled you against his chest, his strong arms trembling as they held your limp form. You were so still, too still, and the sight of your blood seeping into your tattered dress sent a cold wave of terror crashing through him.

You had sought sanctuary because you were at death’s door. Jungkook’s chest tightened with anguish as he held you, the weight of your limp body so light in his arms it felt wrong. He stared at your face, pale and drawn, framed by tangled strands of your hair. The world around him seemed to blur, reduced to the sound of your shallow breaths and the frantic pounding of his heart.

The sound of footsteps reached him and he looked up only to see Brother Antoine and Father Nicolas hurrying to his side. Their faces marred with worry and a tinge of curiosity as they approached the archdeacon. 

“Whatever has happened here?”

Asked the latter, his voice carried a hint of horror. Jungkook looked down at you while pressing his palm firmer to your wound. 

“She has sought Sanctuary in this Holy walls. Antoine, secure the cathedral. Do not let anybody other than the clergy to enter for the night. Nicolas, fetch the physician. Now.”

Jungkook gritted his teeth, feeling the blood seeping through his fingers, pooling on the ground in a crimson depiction of horror. Father above, have mercy. Spare her this pain, I beg you. If she is to be punished, let it fall upon me instead. And forgive me… Forgive me for loving her as I do.

Without thinking further, Jungkook lifted you into his arms as he stood to his full height. Your body was no weight to him, not even compared to the ache that filled his heart. Your (h/c) locks spilled over his arm as he held you securely against his chest. 

“Venerable Father, where are you taking her?”

Asked Brother Antoine, his eyes wide as he saw the archdeacon handle you with such delicacy and tenderness. A sentiment that belied his usual stoicism. 

“To my quarters. She is not to be disturbed.”

And with that, Jungkook walked away from the two men who later dispersed to fulfil his orders. His long strides ate up the distance as he crossed the nave and went to the private staircase that led to the upper rooms where only the clergy were allowed to enter. 

Your dress rustled as he held you, he could feel the warmth of your blood seeping into his own dark robes and as he looked down at you, he felt as if his heartstrings were being pulled with cruelty. Your face was serene even in your unconscious state and you were as beautiful as ever. Not even death could ever take away your beauty. Not that he’d allow for your soul to be taken first. 

As he walked through the darkened corridors with you held securely in his embrace, he muttered one last sentence to you before entering his room. A place only he was allowed to enter. Under the flickering candles and the colourful hues of moonlight streaming through the stained glass windows, Jungkook spoke only for your ears to hear.

“Mon Reve, why must you test me like this?”

December/02/2024

~ Masterpost

☕Caffeinate me so I can keep on writing! ☕

[sigurism]

The Corinthian | Boyd Holbrook The Sandman -1.09 -Collectors

[cruelviolence]

Lettre à toi 💌

Je ne sais pas pourquoi tu es dans mes pensées mais je sais pas pourquoi tu es toujours dans mon cœur. Je parcours mes rêves et dans certains rêves je te vois. Peu importe où que tu sois, j’espère que tu es heureux en ce moment, que tu trouves ton bonheur. Certes je ne t’ai jamais croisé mais tu apparaît comme un flash.

J’espère qu’un jour je te rencontrerai, que nos âmes se rencontrent pour déclencher la flamme de nos corps. Je veux pouvoir t’embrasser lentement, te caresser et te regarder comme si je te voyais pour la première fois. Tu n’es seulement qu’un rêve mais apparemment les rêves peuvent se réaliser il faut juste patienter et attendre mon tour. Je n’ai jamais été l’amoureuse de quelqu’un jusqu’à que tu rentres dans mes pensées. Je préfère de ne pas m’attacher à toi pour ne pas me faire de faux scénarios. Si tu n’es pas un cœur à prendre en ce moment je le comprendrais car je ne suis pas celle qui tu attendais. Mais j’espère croiser ton chemin un jour et savoir si mon cœur avait raison. Je ne sais pas encore si c’est réciproque mais pour l’instant ce sont ces mots là.

Ce n’est juste des mots et pas des actions. Si seulement je pouvais voler ton cœur pour que tu m’appartienne comme une dernière pièce de puzzle. Il me manque une dernière pièce et c’est toi. Je ne sais pas pourquoi c’est toi, mais tu es l’élu de mon cœur. J’attendrais le jour où je croiserai ton chemin. Mais en ce moment ton cœur déjà pris donc il est temps que je t’efface dans mes pensées et que je continuerai ma route. Comme si tu n’existais pas, que tu es un inconnu pour moi. Elle doit être tellement chanceuse de t’avoir j’aimerais être à sa place, de me réveiller à tes côtés, de t’entendre ta voix tous les jours comme un remède magique. Je veux être elle mais il n’y aura plus personne qui sera moi. Je vais rester être moi et t’attendre peu importe les heures, les mois et les années j’attendrai le moment venu.

[montypng]

never been sadder that i decided to catch up on french publishing house current events. wdym the french editions of veil by kotteri r probably gonna be out of print forever bc the publishing house who owns the rights is like 99% likely to be bankrupt rn

[iletaitunefoismonjournalintime]

Rêve de colère

Cette nuit, j'ai fait un rêve que je n'arrive pas à sortir de ma tête. Mon compagnon me faisait une de ces réflexions qui ont le don de m'agacer et là, je me transformais en furie. J'étais en train de faire du ménage et je le plaquais contre le mur avec le balais sous la gorge en appuyant bien fort. Après avoir hurlé plusieurs fois "tu m'emmerdes !" je déversais sur lui une colère et un ras le bol contenu depuis bien trop longtemps. Et vous le savez, lorsqu'une personne calme et qui évite le conflit pète les plombs, ce n'est pas beau à voir ! Je lui crachais au visage ma rancœur, suite à toutes ces années sans la moindre tendresse, sans sensualité, sans sexe, sans mot doux, sans attention même infime à la femme que je suis. Toutes ces années seule dans la maison quand il s'enferme dans sa chambre car oui, nous faisons chambre à part, depuis toujours. Je lui reprochais les weekend à la maison, les réflexions au sujet des animaux, le peu d'implication dans l'éducation de notre fils. Tout est sorti bien emballé dans un papier de haine. C'était vraiment violent.

Je dois me marier en septembre. Pas par amour, vous l'aurez compris, mais pour régulariser notre situation après 20 ans ensemble. A nos âges, il faut penser à l'avenir de celui qui restera, quand l'un de nous deux ne sera plus. Et nous pacsé, comme nous l'avions envisagé, ne permet pas d'assurer un complément financier à celui qui restera après la mort de l'un de nous. Les reproches que je lui ai fait dans mon rêves sont bien réels. Mais c'est avant tout un homme très calme, qui se fou que le ménage soit fait ou pas et qui me fous une paix royale . Un homme qui ne remarque pas les détails de ma personne mais qui achète du pain trop cuit alors qu'il préfère le pain blanc, juste parce que moi je l'aime ainsi. Qui m'achète des fleurs et des plantes, en soldes à 1euros chez Lidl certes, mais qui pense à le faire. Qui ne s'occupe pas de l'éducation de notre fils mais l'emmène souvent à des manifestation sportives et a une belle complicité avec lui. Qui râle après nos animaux mais achète des croquettes friandises aux chats et appelle le chien "mon pépère". C'est un homme très casanier, qui n'aime pas partir en weekend et n'accepte les vacances que dans ma famille dans le sud où nous ne faisons presque aucune sortie. Mais c'est un homme qui m'a prouvé que je peux compter sur lui dès qu'il y a une difficulté à affronter. La seule chose que je peux réellement lui reprocher, c'est d'avoir arrêter de voir en moi une femme. De ne pas se rendre compte que je suis souvent seule alors qu'il est dans l'appartement. Mais lui et moi nous n'avons quasiment aucune distraction en commun, nous n'aimons absolument pas la même chose. Petit a petit, le peu que nous partagions c'est évanouie. Je ne suis pas malheureuse, loin de là. Je suis simplement seule, délaissée. Je ne montre rien, je ne dis rien mais par moment cela m'étouffe. Surtout quand j'imagine que ça ne changera jamais et que je vais devoir vivre ainsi jusqu'à la fin de mes jours.

[neiyuu]

Pour la première fois je comprends vraiment le terme de "s'épanouir" dans un contexte de travail.

J'adore mon stage. Je veux bosser là bas. Je veux y aller tous les jours. Svp gardez moi plus longtemps, rajoutez moi des heures.