#mommy lae’zel

[galesleftboob]

going to the circus means looking absolutely ridiculous in the following cutscenes until a long rest

[thehistoriccemetery]

How They’d React to Your Secret Fear of Thunderstorms

It’s raining here and this may or may not be a self insert.

Headcannons for Shadowheart, Lae’zel, Karlach, Minthara, and Jaheria. The reader is gender neutral.

I tried to write the men but I just don’t know how.

——————————————————————

Shadowheart

She’s praying when you come in. She opens one eye slightly when she hears you enter, motioning over to the bedroll.

She thinks you’re just coming in to get out of the rain at first; you are the only one without a tent, afterall.

It isn’t until she’s done praying that she realizes you seem to be hiding inside the bedroll.

“Are you… looking for something in there?” She asks, pulling back the top of the bedroll.

The look on her face lets you know you’ve been caught.

She sighs and scoots into the bedroll next to you. She’s not much of a cuddler, but this counts as an extenuating circumstance. You snuggle up next to her and thank her.

[Tiefling] She won’t even say anything when she feels your tail around her waist.

Lae’zel

Lae’zel also fucking HATES thunderstorms. She wouldn’t dare say she was scared but she doesn’t care for them at all.

She already pissy by the time you get to her tent. “I don’t understand why the sky in your ‘faerun’ finds all this noise necessary. If I wanted to listen to insolent shouting, I’d talk to Shadowheart about the Selunites again.”

She makes fun of you if say you’re afraid, but you see her jump a little bit every time a particularly violent crash rings through camp.

She won’t try to hug or comfort you in anyway, but she inches closer to you every time the ground shakes.

Ya know… for you protection

Karlach

She is somehow asleep despite the all the noise.

You move into her tent with Scratch at your heals and gently shake her awake.

“Hey Solider,” she says, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Is everything alright?”

“I… um… Scratch is actually afraid of the thunder,” you say, pointing accusingly at the confused dog.

Karlach smiles a tired smile “well then I guess I’m left with no choice.” She opens the bedroll to welcome you in. The dog happily trots to her feet and curls up.

“Hey um, Clive’s actually pretty scared too. He could probably use a nice tight squeeze,” she says handing you the stuffed bear.

You happily snuggle up to her warm body with the bear wrapped tight in your arms.

You instinctively bury yourself in her chest when thunder booms so loud it sounds like the sky may crack. Your face runs hot, and you refuse to lift your head.

She kisses you gently on the top of the head. “I adore you, ya know?” You can feel her ‘you’re so fucking cute I’m gonna explode’ smile.

You decide you’re actually just probably gonna melt right there from the embarrassment.

Minthara

Minthara doesn’t like the rain at all. Something about her feline nature. But she doesn’t mind the thunder and lightning. She actually finds it sort of calming in a way.

When you come into her tent, she’s reading on a pillow. She doesn’t look up. “You can take the bedroll. I don’t mind.”

You hurriedly take the invitation, shoving yourself as quickly as possible into the bedroll.

She continues her reading for a few minutes before looking up. “You’re shaking the whole tent. Are you cold?”

She doesn’t wait for an answer. She unfolds a blanket and moves to throw it over your shaking body. That’s when she realizes you’re trembling, white-knuckling the blanket.

“Oh,” she pauses, unsure of what to do. “Something has you frightened?” It doesn’t occur to her that the thunder could be scary.

“It’s the storm. I don’t like it,” you say weakly, refusing to meet her gaze.

She silently moves her reading pillow closer to you, sitting down cross legged right above your head. She drags your shoulders so that your head is in her lap. She plays with your hair, hands moving protectively over your ears at the start of each rumble.

Minthara thinks it’s kind of silly and juvenile at first, but her attitude changes as she watches you visibly calm. It actually makes her feel kind of powerful. She’s protecting you from the sky itself.

Jaheira

She’s lounging just outside her tent, still covered by the awning. “It’s a beautiful night, no?” She asks as you approach, staring up and watching the lightening crack across the sky.

You look at her aghast, standing in the rain like a drowned rat. “Oh, come in, of course.”

She gives you some rags and helps dry you off. She helps you out of your soaked clothes and into something dry.

She notices the way you jump at the thunder and close your eyes when the lightning flashes.

“Do not worry, cub. This is nothing to be afraid of. It is just the *explains in science terms how the thunder and lightning works*”

She seems to notice that her extensive explanation did little to soothe you. She doesn’t really know what will soothe you though.

She ends up sitting down next to you on the bedroll, allowing you to rest your wet hair on her shoulder if you so choose.

She settles for telling you stories of the Harpers and other heroes. Her tales serve as a distraction enough to get you through the night.

[nature-necromancer]

✨Lae’zel has the prettiest eyes✨

[bijuice]

Abomination... THIS IS YOUR END.

[hangryyell]

Zekaria x Camp HC

Add your own if you’ve got any! I wanna see your guys Headcanons! Enjoy!

Gale

With how big Ria is on a cool breezy day, Gale would be nestled between her thighs reading a book. She’d be lounging on a pile of pillows, eyes closed and claws in his hair. She’d be eating fruit and feeding Gale every once in a while.

One an off day without really looking for leads, he’d hold her hand in the market, she’d wrap her arm around his shoulders.

While they were sleep, Ria would be the one nestled between Gale’s legs, head on his chest with her arms around him.

Sometimes Ria would wear Gale’s robes around camp if she didn’t feel like putting on actual clothes.

Astarion had told Ria that Gale was Vanilla in bed. She’d teach him some of her favorite kinks, he’d enjoy because Gale is nothing but an overachiever.

Gale’s ‘guilty pleasure’ is this large woman sitting on his face. Her thick thighs bordering on either side of his head, his hands cupping her ass and holding her there. Ria worried she’ll suffocate him.

Wyll

Wyll will be hesitant to want to touch Ria. His thoughts that he was off putting would always hold him back. He would be surprised when she said she liked him a lot.

Ria would go to kiss Wyll and he would stiffen up as she’s kiss along his jaw. She’s giggle in his ear and lick the shell of it to tease him. He’d blush and playfully nudge her away. Ria would wrap her arms around him and hold him close. Wyll would put a hand on her lower back.

Wyll takes me as a stomach sleeper, Zekaria would sleep next to him, half on top of him, a long leg nestled between both of his and an arm across his back. Or she’d ask him to lay on her, head on her chest or stomach, warm arm going around her. Wyll would be worried his horns would get in the way.

Once Wyll finally opens up he is definitely a menace to Ria. They had grown so close that she can see exactly what he’s thinking without the tadpole. Reading his expressions was enough to know if he was playing with her.

Wyll is a slap his partners ass in front of people kinda man. Ria likes that part a lot. He’s also a public kinda man, if they’re sitting just right he’ll finger Ria while talking to the rest of the camp around the fire. Or take her into the tree line close to camp and fuck her until her legs can’t seem to keep her up.

Lae’zel

Ria would lounge about watching Lae’zel work out or sharpen her sword. She loved to watch the strain of muscle, watch the other sweat. It was intoxicating.

Lae’zel’s favorite thing is to train near a body of water. On a nice hot day to get Zekaria in the water, to watch her splash around naked, then to watch the water slide over her pretty green skin. To watch her air dry.

Ria loves to make the Gith relax with a massage if she ends up giving the teifling trouble about her training. “You can take a day of Zel. Come let me give you a massage babe.” The teifling beckoned.

Lae’zel loves to trace and lick along the scars and raised lines and prongs along Ria’s body when they are alone in her tent.

Ria tops more often than you think and Zel absolutely reels at the fact that she does. But of course gives her a hard time in front of everyone.

Shadowheart

She’s rough around the edges but is complete goo when it comes to Ria. Shadowheart is awkward when it comes to PDA, but Ria assures her it’s alright. Light hand holding, Ria sliding an arm around her shoulders to bring her closer while around the fire. Whispering compliments in her ear to catch the blush on her cheeks.

Ria loves to be the small spoon.

Shadowheart is the kind to help Ria drink wine, then lick up whatever spills on her chin.

Shadowheart absolutely loves to put Ria in her place in bed. The small Sharran defiantly brings the pain better than any Loviator follower.

Ria jokingly found a dog collar and teased Shadowheart if she wasn't nice to her, she wouldn't put it on. Shadowheart has never said please and thank you faster to see her giant teifling girlfriend be an absolute bottom.

Shadowheart is all black and darkness, but once she fines anything in the right shade of green that matches Ria's skin or nipple color she's more keen for some color in her outfit.

Karlach

Karlach absolutely loves to wrestle with Ria. Both being big and tall women it's always a good time. Karlach loves to let Ria win most times even though the Teifling tells her not to hold back.

Cold nights it's a pleasure to be snuggled up next to the hot barbarian.

Ria plays with Karlach's hair, giving her little braids, putting different kinds of charms in her locks.

Karlach's love language is words of affirmation, she loves to compliment Ria. When in bed, she kisses every inch of skin and dols out the loving words.

They take a lot of naps together, days to laze about are filled with them.

Karlach is a touchy woman, hand holding, wrapping an arm around Zekaria to have her in front, arms around her waist, chin on her shoulder. The whole nine.

Karlach also likes to stare at her partner, just boring holes into them because one they’re so damn hot and two they are their favorite person in the world.

Astarion

Would pout and whine for Ria to feed him fruit like the god he thinks he is. (Yeah I know he doesn’t NEED to eat it) But just the thought of him eating messy, juicy fruit and Ria licking the juices off his chin and neck, following if it ended up going further down.

Is the little spoon.

Absolutely loves to see Ria in his clothes.

Gets a fucking kick out of Ria biting him when they’re having a romp or he’s also feeding on her.

Behind closed doors or a tent flap Star is a cuddle bug, just wanting to lounge about and enjoy Ria’s warmth, her smell, the sound of her heart beating in her chest. Feel her smooth skin against his.

Absolutely loves to be read to while snuggled between her thighs. He’s the type to wrap his arms around them to hold her close.

Loooves Ria’s nails for head scratches.

Sometimes when they’re in a new town goes to try and get them matching camp clothes.

Will bring her random gifts if he sees something she likes. Mostly will probably draw for her.

[mythrae]

interesting thing I noticed yesterday:

When you play as the Dark Urge and cut off Gale’s hand, Lae’zel approves 🧍🏼‍♀️

[coyoxxtl]

So I think I've come around to liking Lae'zel more after having her in my party, since she has a legitimately interesting character arc and her more inhumane and cruel attitude often comes off as being a consequence of her cultural background in a way that feels less off putting than Astarion (who says similar things but his more selfish mentality feels a lot more off putting compared to Lae'zel's genuine loyalty, and i think part of that is I REALLY like characters who are absolutely dedicated to their own personal code to massive extremes, like Samara in Mass Effect or a Vengeance Oath Paladin Tav) also considering my idea for her post game storyline being about maybe her becoming a githzerai and a similar idea I've had for Azula, and their superficial similarities, 'girlboss realizes the folly of worldly power and becomes a monk' is a strangely recurring story motif for me, so i mind want to make characters for that

she also vibes with a good-aligned tav better than astarion does, she doesn’t seem to disapprove of good natured decisions (not for the sake of being good natured) like, if the choice makes you look like a pussy then she’ll disapprove, but that’s where her line is. astarion just seems like he goes out of his way to be a dick and disapproves of the most lukewarm decent choices in the game just for the sake of it. both me and my roommate almost always have lae’zel in our parties and so far we just played good-aligned tavs (romanced her several times as a good tav too) and we barely ever have astarion around.

you can also blame all that on her being so young. she’s the youngest member in the party (22) so like, her behavior can also come off as a young person trying to look capable and competent compared to her (mostly older) allies. she faces a lot of chances for growth and maturity if you guide her that direction. idk i just think she’s neat :3

[avocado-writing]

BG3 companions reacting to Tav calling them mommy/daddy?

huehehehehe >:) writing as if you shout it out in the middle of sex without meaning to - minors DNI.

Astarion

Surprised but super into it? Not necessarily because he likes being called daddy but because he can see how much it turns you on.

“Oh? Do you like it when daddy slides his cock into you, darling?”

You go glassy-eyed immediately and he continues to murmur against your skin as he fucks you, aren’t you doing well for daddy? you want to cum around daddy’s cock, hmm?

You do. Harder than you have in weeks.

Afterwards you apologise that you sort of sprung that on him out of nowhere. He smiles and says it was a wonderful little secret for you to share with him.

“You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?” “Absolutely not, darling. Now let daddy give you a kiss. 😌”

Gale

Fucking flabbergasted lmao. Stops mid-thrust

He has never considered himself a “daddy”…

When you see how baffled he is, you clamp your hands over your mouth. You are mortified.

“I am so, so sorry, Gale…” “No, no, love, it’s fine… but maybe… maybe ‘sir’? Not ‘daddy’?”

Your face splits into a devilish smile. “Oh, I can do that… sir.”

His cock hardens even further and he gets to work fucking you again, with gusto…

Karlach

Grins so so so wide

If you try to cover your face in embarrassment, she pulls your hands away so she can make eye contact.

“Aww, you want mummy to take care of you, darling? Make sure you cum?”

All you can do is nod. She fucks you with such vigour that you think you might be about to pass out.

Afterwards she gives you lots of cuddles and checks that you’re okay with how rough she was (you are. A lot.)

Is definitely happy for you to call her that in bed again…

Shadowheart

Is surprised… but interested.

Gives another thrust of her hips, encouraging you to repeat it, letting you be a little writing mess beneath her.

Will keep prompting you. “Call me that again.” “Mummy…” “Again.” “Mummy…!”

Is a bit smug afterwards, when you’re lying there blissed out of your mind from having cum a lot.

“You know, you could have just told me you wanted to use some pet names, rather than letting it slip out in flagrante delicto…”

Laughs when you’re all flustered, using healing magic to soothe any bruises she’s given you. ❤️

Wyll

Another one not super keen on it, and will tell you so.

He just doesn’t find it particularly sexy? He wants sex to be a sweet and intimate thing and well… if you’re going to use names then…

”can you call me your blade? or the blade of frontiers?”

You apologise for springing the ‘daddy’ on him out of nowhere, but when you begin to whisper about him being your 'brave blade' he gets back into it quickly.

Grab onto his horns while telling him to drive his sword home… he’s putty in your hands.

Both have a healthy discussion about what kinks you are and aren’t into the next day. We LOVE a respectful king 👑

Lae’zel

”What? I am not your mother.” “I know Lae’zel, it’s uhh, a sex thing.” “Oh. Why?”

You then have to explain that it’s sort of about respect and domination. A compliment to someone who’s rocked your world.

She smiles enthusiastically and begins to fuck you again properly. Fucks you so hard that your body aches afterwards.

Pillow talk after: “you may call me that again. I enjoy hearing that you know how well I pleasure you.” “Mmm, thank you for that, Lae’zel.” “You are welcome.”

I think it gets brought up in camp because you didn’t realise how loud you shouted it. Your face is on fire for the whole day. Lae’zel just looks pleased with herself.

Halsin

All the blood goes straight to his cock, if that’s even possible when he’s already inside you. He’s harder than he’s ever been in his life before.

He’s been called many things in bed before, but hearing that? From you?

Fucks you with an enthusiasm he didn’t realise he was capable of. You moan and cry out and keep chanting “daddy, daddy, daddy” and he cums so much that it drips out your used little hole all down your legs.

He apologises for his over enthusiasm and checks that you’re alright. You grin and kiss him, and promise to start using that word more…

Minthara

She just smiles, I think, and you know she has you wrapped around her little finger.

She fucks you with what borders on violence, so much force that you actually pass out because you came so hard.

So worth it though.

You wake up in her arms and she’s still grinning, stroking your hair.

”Mummy’s very pleased with you.” This is the only acknowledgment she ever gives of it, but if you bring up the name again in bed, she gives a repeat performance 😌

[hijackalx]

FEMALE BG3 CHARACTERS EATING OUT F!READER +18

characters included: karlach, shadowheart, lae’zel, minthara

MALE BG3 CHARACTERS

SHADOWHEART

okay i LOVE the idea of overeager inexperienced shadowheart like it’s SO hot……

she’s a little aggressive and all over the place but she DOES NOT CARE 😹😹

she also gives me selfish vibes, so if she’s eating you out she’s doing it solely for her OWN enjoyment LMAO

loves to tell you to hold still or to be quiet, that way when you slip up she can degrade you

“shut up, you sound like a whore” or “squirming already? how pathetic” she is MEAN

will also knead your tits the whole time. not softly either— it will make you gasp and that’s exactly why she does it 😹😹

prefers to have your hands bound above your head so you can’t touch her. she likes seeing how frustrated you get when you can’t pull on her hair/move closer when she teases

will spit on it. and she will hold eye contact with you while you watch as it drips from her mouth onto your pussy

gets SO wet from eating you out

she will reach between her legs every once in a while to touch herself because she gets so worked up

sometimes she’ll get too distracted in her own pleasure and just start whimpering/panting into your pussy

if she doesn’t already finish before you then she’ll IMMEDIATELY want you to return the favor

KARLACH

she aims to PLEASE

you WILL be having a life changing orgasm every time. no 3 second O’s over here baby 😹😹

she can tell when you’re close and adjusts her pace to make you hold off for just a littleee longer (a lot longer)

wishes she could live in between your legs. obsessed with the way you smell and taste so much

likes when you start telling her what to do— she is more than happy to do what you want because of how badly she wants to watch you come apart

grab her by the horns and move her where you want and she’ll moan

will dig her nails (claws?) into your thighs occasionally, not because she wants to hurt you but because she gets so into it

if she leaves marks she’ll make sure to kiss them better 💗

the more of a reaction you give her the more her tail thrashes around excitedly. it has a mind of its own honestly 😹😹

speaks almost exclusively in praise and reassurance. “you’re being so patient for me”, “don’t worry— mama’s gonna take good care of you”

LOVES having your thighs over her shoulders and against her head/ears. also likes that she can feel every involuntary twitch and tremor of your legs on her back

lowkey likes when she can still smell you on her top lip afterwards LMAO 😹😹

MINTHARA

you would think she’d be aggressive and mean but i think she’s lowkey pretty sensual? still very stern though. very much giving mommy dom vibes

EXPERIENCED. she knows what she’s doing and you can tell

will make you BEG !!!!!!

teases you with her tongue until you are whimpering and crying for her. needs to see you fully submit before she gives you what you want

you need to be aware of how lucky you are that she wants to do this. she doesn’t give head to just anyone

will always encourage you to be loud. if she notices that you’re suppressing your voice she’ll pull away— she needs to be able to hear you otherwise she feels like it’s not worth it 😹😹

can be really sweet in subtle ways. will kiss your pussy/inner thighs occasionally or absentmindedly run her thumb over your skin

also if you reach out to hold her hand she’ll give it to you without hesitation

her tone when she talks to you is almost condescending. she thinks it’s kind of pathetic how badly you need her. but she loves it

“your eagerness to give in to me is pitiful”, “you’re a greedy little thing”

sometimes she’ll hum/groan into your pussy with her low, raspy voice and it’s so 😩

will kiss you while/after you come so you taste yourself. with LOTS of tongue

LAE’ZEL

y’all are not going to want to hear this but i get pillow princess vibes from lae’zel LMFAO

i think she defaults to the receiving end so her eating you out is something you have to initiate. she WILL do it though

she has the most perfect, pouty lips for eating pussy. they’re so soft and plump 🥵

LOVES when u pull her hair. she tries to hold back her moans but if you do it enough she’ll eventually give up lol

a glutton for praise— she needs the reassurance that she’s doing a good job. she can’t stand the thought of not being perfect at something 😹😹

will want you to hold your thighs up towards your stomach so you’re as spread open as possible lol. that way she can tease your hole easier. also she just thinks it’s hot

loves the way your thighs look in that position. will run her hands over them a lot. usually pretty roughly

likes to use her fingers while she eats you out too. just overall really handsy

REALLY possessive over your body, but especially your pussy. she seriously worships it

doesn’t really talk a lot, mostly just groaning/growly type noises. will occasionally say something like “you’re mine” or “you belong to me”

gets sooo excited when she can tell you’re about to cum lmao she watches you SO intently with her big doe eyes. she has no idea how cute she looks (don’t tell her or she’ll get flustered 😹😹)

smugly waits for you to tell her how amazing it was afterwards

[sacred-algae]

One of my favorite things about BG3 is that the main 7 so perfectly encapsulate how the average DnD party interacts with each other.

And not only that but you can tell a lot about what their players would be like!

Shadowheart was made by the edgy bisexual “good Christian girl” who’s discovering herself in college for the first time away from her family. She’s falling out of her faith and her friends are waiting for her to crack. She thinks playing DnD is so rebellious of her. She WILL become emo after this is over

Halsin was made by the secret nudist in attempts to live vicariously through his character but has now revealed ✨things✨ about himself, and is totally unaware of it but everybody else knows it and just love that he’s having a good time

Lae’zel was made by a dude (probably straight and cis) who just wants to play as a hot fantasy chick

Gale was made by the most nerdy autistic boy who just wants somebody to date. Anybody. He’s really not picky.

Wyll was probably made by a trans man with. Idk why but he was. He doesn’t even have trans vibes to me but his player does

Karlach was made by a lesbian with mommy issues who’s never played DnD before, didn’t know if she’d like it, but got dragged into it by her friends who “know she’ll like it” and they were 100% right (and she and Shadowheart’s player WILL end up dating)

And Astarion was made by a gay person who is infamous for torturing every single character they create. They kept his character under wraps during creation but then announced on the first day of the campaign that this would be their, quote, “magnum opus of fruity traumatized characters”

[happysparklingshadows]

𝙱𝙶𝟹 𝙻𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚜 ✿ 𝙿𝚕𝚞𝚜-𝚂𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍 𝙼𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚢! 𝚃𝚊𝚟

Note: some spoilers for Act 2 and Act 3 of the game. Some mentions of smut but mostly fluff.

Lae’zel

-When Lae’zel first met you, she didn’t notice your body too much outside of usefulness. At first, she had her sword your throat, and then when you fought together, she noticed your swiftness and cunning. Once she could be around you more, she started to notice. Women where she is from don't come so curvy or lush by any means. She is fascinated by the way your body curves and jiggles. The big breasts and hips were very new to her, and at first, she rejected the fact she liked such an alien look on a person. I mean, it’s ridiculous? But like most people who reject what they want the most, she couldn’t help but obsess with your body. She wanted to conquer this obsession before it distracted her. 

-Lae’zel isn’t one to be gently parented; she is firm and doesn’t listen to things that don’t make her stand at attention. Mommy Tav, I feel they need to be stern in some ways with her. A firm “No, Lae’zel.” is like a commander's word to her if it comes from you, but you must have earned that right to speak to her like that.

-She isn’t one for open affection or love. It was ingrained in her that it is weak and needless for a warrior. She at first finds that helping people without benefit to yourself is aimless and indulgence of your time. It annoyed her and made her eyes roll often behind your back when you talked to these random helpless creatures running around. But slowly, over time, especially after she turns her back on Vlaakith, she noticed the strength underneath all your fussing and helpfulness. You wanted to help people because you could. You did it just because you could, and you wanted to, and you would kill anyone who got in your way. The way you smiled with bright eyes at a child were the same eyes that happily killed goblins that caused their pain, and you would be damned if you wouldn’t make them happy and safe. Lae’zel grows to understand this mothering energy from you. She thought the way people of this plane were disgusting for how they reproduced and thought it odd how needy people were for their parents, but she learns why it was so hard to leave such a warm embrace.

-Lae’zel doesn’t mean to be mean, and she doesn’t understand sometimes when her words cut more than usual. She was raised to cut others with words like blades, so when your eyes flash with surprise and hurt when she says something, it makes her feel horrible. She would never admit guilt, but she does try her best. She is annoyed by herself for hurting you and even more annoyed that she cares about you. 

-The annoyance doesn’t last long, though. It almost melted as your hands touched Lae’zel’s shoulder softly when she did well in battle, or the way you smiled at her when she talked about her studies in crèche K'liir, or the way you always seemed to have food for her to eat on the road. She wasn’t dense enough not to notice how you care about her, even when she is being mean and doesn’t know how to feel about it. It confused her, and it made her feel nervous. 

-Lae’zel is swift with claiming you. She knew she wanted to taste you and be your lay, but she couldn’t handle the possessiveness that overcame her at the thought someone else could have you. Your sweet hands touch someone else, soothing them as they do her? How soft you were was for her alone. She isn’t very soft in many ways but feels soft with you. 

-Lae’zel is beyond protective over you. Her hand is on her sword if someone speaks to you in a tone she doesn’t like. She would have their eyes dug out with her thumbs if she thought you would look at her with those warm eyes and be pleased with her. 

-Lae’zel realizes being with you that she has had a hunger her whole life. A hunger for acceptance and unconditional love, she chased it from Valakath since the time she hatched. She found it with you. With her head in the crook of your neck and soft body pressed against her lean body, she feels a warmth that has thawed more parts of herself than any accomplishment for Valakath could. 

-She doesn’t like most of the food she is given. No fault of your own, but it isn’t what she is used to expecting. But she loves apple pies and spiced meats, and her eyes sparkle when she sees you near the hearth cooking. Her ears quirked up as she heard the hissing meat in the pan. She intensely stares you down before hovering over your cooking. She is like a cat who likes to be in your way. She just wants to observe and be a part of it, even if she isn’t doing anything but watching you.

-She gives a sharp “chk” when you kiss her bandaged wound you dressed, and she moves away from you when you do that. She doesn’t like how it makes her feel so weak at how good it feels. You just chuckle, knowing at this point of your relationship that she isn’t rejecting you, and say, “Well, when it heals faster, you will not be so against it, my champion.”. And after that point, she would expect you to bandage her wounds and kiss them each time.

-Lae’zel needs guidance and patience, as well as a teacher. She needs someone to educate her on this plane and how to act in certain situations on this plane that doesn’t end with bloodshed. But she needs someone who doesn’t hate her for being reckless and violent that she is. 

-Lae’zel takes some time to learn how to love and be loved, but for a soft mothering person, that isn’t very hard to be patient with her. She learns from example the easiest, and that love is as warm and fulfilling as killing, if not more so. 

-Lae’zel was beyond happy when Xan was hatched, and she couldn’t think of someone better than the source of her joy to co-parent with her. Lae’zel gives off avoidant Midwest dad vibes that are really focused on teaching Xan to fight and giving him the discipline to achieve anything he longs for. It eases her that Xan doesn’t have to be beaten into a ridged warrior like she did because he is loved like the children of Faerün. With kisses and hugs, soothing words for laughing, and tickles for cheekiness. In a different life, she would have scoffed and killed you for treating a gith with such tenderness to ruin his resolve at such a young age, but now with you at an inn together. She can only bring herself to chuckle at the scene of Xan wiggling in giggles on your lap, happily content with her family. 

-Lae’zel would one day be laughing with the two of you, Xan giggling in your lap, and realize she was where she was always meant to be with you, and Xan giggling over the most minor thing that wasn’t even funny. It wasn’t becoming the strongest warrior to make her happy, but having a family she could protect was all she needed. 

Karlach

-When Karlach first met you, she saw you. If you aren’t used to someone openly hitting on you, now you do. There is a whistle when you bend down or jump; her tone always becomes soft, and the words “baby” become your new name, and she openly stares at your breasts when you speak (no cleavage needed). Karlach doesn’t care because she can handle a whole lot of woman happily. Just wait until she can get her hands on you. 

-Karlach is a partner who needs to be gently parented, but she is so sweet that it is used sparingly. Karlach sometimes needs a sharp look to stop talking in front of some people or someone to talk her out of violence gently. Karlach is a sweetheart, but she has a temper that sometimes needs to be chilled, and your soft hands rubbing on their biceps are just that. 

-Karlach starts daggers into the knocked-out Drow as you softly rub her biceps, “Baby, calm down. You’re going to burn the whole place down. Baby, breathe slowly, deeply.” And she looks down at you, her eyes melt as soon as she sees your worried face and closes them. She takes deep breaths to calm her temper down; she needs to chill out, or she will burn down this whole place. 

-When Karlach can touch you, she loves to rest her head on your stomach. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath of you in. Her hands constantly touch you, finding safety on your waist or shoulder. Her lips kiss the back of your neck when you read, her heat being felt close behind you. 

-Karlach NEEDS some soft tender care and knows it. She unironically purrs when you put your hand on her cheek; she leans in your hand always. Karlach is very much someone who loves when you baby her and is always so grateful about it. 

-Karlach is a munch in so many ways, she will eat whatever you place infront of her, and it is the most delicious meal she has ever tasted. Karlach always hovers over you when you cook, always ready to be a helper in the kitchen out of curiosity and love. Karlach relates food with love because of her mother, and I feel like in Act 3, after stopping by the graveyard, you are on a mission to find Karlach Sr. Cookbook. 

-Karlach would cry happy tears when you found a stew her mom wrote, and she sobbed when she ate her mom's cooking in a good way. She missed her mom a lot, and not having the heart her mother gave her made her feel this emptiness. And she is forever grateful to have known you, loved you. She would softly pull you into her lap and hold you close, crying and eating. 

-Karlach REFUSES for you to leave camp without her and doesn’t let you carry heavy things anymore. Did you get camping supplies? A gunpowder barrel? Mama k got it. 

-Lowkey is possessive and clingy with you once you say, “Karlach, I’m yours.”. Karlach has you move your things into her tent and sleeps with her big arms wrapped around you tightly. She doesn’t like the idea that someone else could have you even when she couldn’t touch you, but she was being fair. Now she can touch you. There is no question you are hers, and she is yours. 

-Karlach loves to suck on your nipples and just suckle on you. It feels so comfortable and pleasing to her. She likes the heat of your breasts and the way the breast touches her cheek. She likes to see and have them in front of her, but she doesn’t pay attention to much else. She loves how they hang on your ribs and bounce with each step of your body. She usually, on tiring days, just curls up to your chest and rests her head.

Shadowheart 

-Shadowheart was so frantic and scared when she first saw you that she didn’t think much about you, but she noticed your protective nature as you focused on getting her out. She almost felt uncomfortable when your caring hand helped her off the ground when she fell. When you both were safely on the ground of the beach, she noticed when you walked over to her that your body had a sway to it. An almost unconscious sensual from the way your hips perk softly as you stride towards her. But also, how strong you seemed in the moment and how determined you looked had a heat run through her. She blushes and keeps it to herself. She decided to travel with you since you saved her and because she didn’t mind seeing the back of you for a while. 

-Shadowheart is similar to Lae’zel in that she pushes her feelings aside and denies them. She noticed how you took care of people and liked to comfort people, and she saw how you smiled when everyone praised your food. She keeps herself quiet for the most part, but she does thaw her heart to your seemingly endless warmth. 

-She realized she was denying her feelings once she opened up about her past and earliest memory. You actively listened and softly touched her forearm when she finished; all you said was, “Thank you for sharing with me. I promise that I will help with whatever I can for you.”

-Of course, she falls for you. It was hard. But she would be hard to get, and she wanted you to prove yourself more. She was waiting for you to make a mistake. 

-But there was none. You were no hypocrite and were this caring and nurturing to your friends. You were a person wrapped up in goodness and light and beauty. 

-Shadowheart's defenses crumbled, and she quickly told you her feelings when she learned more about herself. Something for her that didn’t cause pain or suffering. Something good. 

-Shadowheart eyes melt when you come close to her. 

-Shadowheart would benefit from gentle parenting but is so stubborn that you have to be occasionally firm with her. She likes to be talked to softly, and how you look at her like a precious gem. But a little pain of rejection or shame doesn’t hurt her at all.

-Shadowheart, at night, always cuddles into your back. She sighs contently when her head rests on your pillow. She could bury her face in your back for decades if she could. Her hand resting on top of her beloved hips and pulls you in closer to her body. Shadowheart loves to hold and be held.

-Shadowheart's favorite thing to do is be buried in between your plush thighs, having her ears silenced to the world with your flesh wrapping around her head. It was warm and welcoming, with your beautiful sighs of pleasure. 

-Shadowheart confides in you a lot after you two become official. You are the first person she goes to for advice to help her think clearer about a situation, even with her disillusionment of Shar, which was talked about with you. She is typically secretive and calculates what to expose about herself, so getting her to talk to you about her feelings is very big. 

-Shadowheart finds out that she does have a soft side, and you comfortably reside there. She looks at you with her big blue eyes melting when you speak to her. She doesn’t care if this makes her reject Shar. If she wants a life with you, she will do it. She could do anything to have a quiet and peaceful life with the woman she loves and be healed some more by the unconditional love she has found. 

Minthara

-Minthara has daddy energy, and she likes that you compliment her with the mommy energy you give off. She, however, is not one to be guided or nurtured but loves to be babied (in Drow terms) when she gets the chance.

-Minthara knew that she would have you when you walked into her chamber. She felt a low hum in her body when she noticed the way your body carried itself. The breasts, the arms, the stomach, the hips, the legs, Hmm. But she didn’t have many plans for you, not until you proved yourself to her with blood. She was thrilled to find out that under the soft, innocent look, there was a murder underneath. She felt some kind of pride knowing she found someone to fight alongside her that was actually worthy. She was smitten even if she wouldn’t admit it. 

-Minthara sees weakness or softness in any light besides malice. Weakness needs to be beaten out of a person until they are strong. She wasn’t blind to how you seemed sweet and caring and how your eyes seemed coquettish under her gaze. She didn’t know how to feel about this seemingly powerful but weak leader helping her on her mission for the absolute. She would peek into your mind when you weren’t noticing and could tell you were this caring and murderous. 

-Obviously, she grows soft towards you with time. Even when she tried to kill you, she wanted it to be mercifully quick and painless. She couldn’t have your warm eyes on her. She does want to be known by you, and she wants to hold and caress you. You made the world quiet, from gods and her self-doubt. Your tender cuddle at night after a fuck, the delicate rubbing of her back as she lays on your breasts, it was everything she had ever craved from any god. 

-Minthara doesn’t like surface food at all, and she doesn’t make any comments when she is given food. She does watch from a distance as you cook the group their dinner, and she says a “thank you” when you hand her her portion. She eats all of it for strength and has been trying to get used to the plainness. To her, everything tastes like oatmeal and soulless. 

-Her heart almost dropped when she noticed you walking up to her with a bottle of Underdark wine and a wheel of cheese from her rival house's family. She doesn’t know what to say when you happily explain that you had killed a horde of rich drows and then found this and that it made you think about her, handing over the items. She feels herself blush and stares at you. She puts the items down in her tent and drags you off to be claimed again by her. 

-Minthara knew she loved you at Moonrise and surely knew when you saved her from Moonrise. Her eyes melted as soon as she felt your figure again. She didn’t even allow herself to hope that you would come, and yet you did. You did with a fierce protective energy as you escorted her out of the castle and killed the guards that kept her. 

-Minthara, like Karlach, is possessive and clingy with you once you two become official. She doesn’t like the idea that someone else would get to know this tender and sweet person. She would kill someone over weirdly looking at you. Minthara hovers over you wherever you go and is your plus one in everything. She would scoff and laugh at the mention of you leaving camp without her, and it’s not going to happen. 

-Minthara would have a breeding kink so hard with you once she is settled in with you. Minthara would know very early on that she couldn’t imagine a life for herself now without you, and she wanted to keep you beside her forever. She wanted to have a family and continue her bloodline as a noblewoman should, but she wanted you to carry her baby. Trust and believe that Minthara will find some magic device to get you pregnant after you finish the Netherbrain

-Lowkey knew she would marry you and keep you with her for the rest of her life. She quickly knew you were wife material for her and acted like you were already married. 

-Minthara doesn’t listen to you even when your tone is strong and demanding, like a mother's. She has enormous dom-daddy energy, and she will not take commands from her sub (except in the bedroom; she is a consent queen).  

-“Minthara, stop.” You say as you watch her tower over a dwarf with her poisoned knife to his throat. She doesn’t react at all as she puts the fear of the gods into the poor man, “Minthara!” You hiss to her as you start to walk away. Minthara doesn’t listen to you and slices the dwarf's neck, but she quickly drops him to get beside you. You give her a soft glare, and she glares back as playfully as she can muster. 

-Don’t get me wrong, Minthara has mommy issues and she does use you as some kind of new mothering figure. She lays in your breasts at night for safety and comfort, she holds your soft skin with adoration now that she loves you-knows you.

-Minthara likes to grab your hardened nipple sometimes to surprise you and have you make that breathy moan of shock. She likes to pull you in closer with a hand firmly planted in your ass; she pulls you into an intense kiss. She likes to have control over you and to have you writhing with pleasure because of her.

[galesleftboob]

i finished my lae'zel romance (two different endings) and my GOD, it was the right decision to romance her

anyone have fanfic recs of raising the egg with lae'zel pls need

[littlejuicebox]

Dadstarion prompt - Astarion responsible for watching Gale and something happens that makes Tav mad! Nothing serious but you know how kids draw on the walls and stuff? Something silly and cute like that!

Stuck

This prompt is very cute! Thanks for all the submissions, I will be working through several of them when I have time. You guys all had great ideas!

Summary: The twins are here, and Papastarion is primarily on Gale duty. He's trying his best, but balancing a family and work is proving to be very difficult, indeed. Can be read as a OneShot but it’s also part of my Dadstarion series.

Tags/Warnings: fluff, dadstarion, parenting, children, very mild angst with comfort, lmk if you see anything else

Word count: 1.9K

-----

Astarion is exhausted. 

In comparison to the twins, the first month with newborn Gale had been a breeze. But two wailing infants had both the silver-haired elf and his little love on edge constantly. The pair of babes seemed to egg one another on, greeting one shrill cry with another; an hour of silence was an absolute luxury nowadays. 

The family were in the midst of one precious modicum of silence now, and his drained wife had quickly snatched the opportunity to rest in their bedchambers. The poor woman always had a newborn attached to her breast or a toddler wrapped around her leg, it seemed. Astarion stepped in where he could, but unfortunately he did not have the anatomy necessary to help with certain parts of parenting. So daddy was primarily on Gale duty nowadays.

Gale had also been struggling, in his own way. The change in his parents' attention had caused the previous ball of sunlight to turn surly. This had been anticipated, of course, and his parents knew this adjustment would take time. But catering to three needy children and a wife still recovering from childbirth had Astarion at his wits end. Trancing is certainly an efficient form of regaining energy, but even he could only go so long on a deficit.

The father hears a knock at the front door, just as he’s placing a plate of breakfast in front of his eldest. The silver-haired boy is eyeing the food, his nose wrinkled in displeasure, always the spitting image of his father in his mannerisms.

“Daddy, what’s that green stuff on my eggs?” He asks, his tone tipping up into a whine. 

“Chives, Gale,” Astarion responds, perhaps a smidge too harshly, wiping his hands on a towel as he exits the kitchen and crosses the foyer to the front door, “You like chives, little prince, you always eat your eggs like this when mommy makes them.”

The three year old eyes the eggs suspiciously and then quickly swipes them under the table as his father walks away. Their mutt, Apple, eagerly snatches up the offering with her sticky pink tongue. 

Astarion swings the front door open and dramatically sighs with relief, “The reinforcements are finally here. Thank the gods. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to see you two.” 

Shadowheart and Lae’zel stand in the entryway, unloading their bags. 

“Good to see you, too, Astarion. Our travels were fine, thanks for asking,” The cleric responds, rolling her eyes at the retired rogue. Gale comes running out of the kitchen to greet the two women, instantly wrapping himself around Shadowheart’s limbs with a babbled, excited greeting. Apart from Uncle Gale, Auntie Shadowheart was easily his favorite of his parents’ friends. 

“I would like to be clear that I am only here because Shadowheart has forced me along,” Lae’zel states, assessing the elven man coolly, “You look terrible. I’ve never seen your hair like this before.” 

Astarion is about to retort when a sharp wail echoes throughout the foyer, followed by a nearly identical one from the second twin. 

“Let’s go see if we can help Tav,” Shadowheart beckons Lae’zel, already heading toward the master bedchambers,  “Gale, we have a gift for you from your Uncle Gale. It’s in the front pocket of my bag, Astarion.” 

The older elf bends down and retrieves a small package addressed to the three year old in the wizard’s tidy script. The little boy grins as he opens the gift from his namesake, revealing a pot full of some sticky, stretchy, slimy substance. Gale tries and fails to open it, so his father bends down to assist, examining the gift with distaste. 

Leave it to the Wizard of Waterdeep to send such a messy, disgusting gift.

Gale pulls the gelatinous thing out of the small jar and giggles at the sensation of the viscous putty. As the little boy smashes the substance through his hands, it changes color in front of his eyes and he oohs in surprise. 

Well, at least this will keep him occupied, Astarion thinks. He needs to get some work done. Pascal, his steward, had been on him about the revisions for that contract and the purchase order for the winery since last week. 

The older man scoops his son up and makes his way toward his office, hoping that with Shadowheart and Lae’zel here to assist with the twins, he will be able to complete the bare minimum of his task list today. Though, admittedly, he cannot wait to see how his little viper of a friend handles the babes; he’s sure there will be a story or two from Tav later on.

*

Astarion is re-reading the contract in front of him for a third time. He’s so tired that it’s difficult to focus. He messily scratches out another line of text and writes an edit above it, speaking to himself under his breath, trying to keep the words coming out in the correct order as he scrawls across the page. 

Is this exhaustion truly how humans feel all the time? It’s absolutely horrid. How do they get anything done? 

Gale emits a shocked cry from the sofa, ripping the older elf’s attention from his work to find the source of his son’s distress.

No. Oh no, no, no.

Gale’s head is completely covered in the sticky slime. The substance is wrapped around his curls, pulling his hair up in chunks. 

The contract is abandoned as Astarion rushes to his son and examines the damage. The little boy is pulling anxiously at the putty as he begins to wail in distress, which is only causing the slime to further spread across his hair.

“Papa, it’s stuck!” He shrieks, his hands flailing and fumbling around, trying to rip the toy from his head. Tears are streaking his face as he continues to fight against the toy.

“Stop, Gale!” The older elf exclaims, barely holding on to the final shreds of his patience as he grabs his son's two tiny hands between one of his own, “Hold on, let me see.” 

Shit. This definitely isn’t good. 

Astarion groans when he realizes he has to tell his wife what happened. Facing her wrath was almost as terrifying as facing the Netherbrain, and his gut sank with dread as he scooped the child up, hair still caked in slime, and walked in the direction of the bedchamber. 

*

“I still cannot believe this, Astarion,” You hiss at your husband under your breath as Shadowheart trims the ends of Gale’s silver curls in your kitchen and Lae’zel entertains him with stories of their travels. Most of the putty came out with generous applications of oil, followed by a bath for the three year old, but the final bits ultimately had to be cut.

You are holding one twin in your arms, Astarion is holding the other. The two of you are an endless bobbing and swaying duo, trying desperately to keep the infants from breaking into another fit. 

“Can we please give it a rest, darling? Blame our wizard friend for sending that ridiculous toy to our three year old!” Astarion responds through a belabored, weary sigh as he gently pats the back of the infant in his arms, “I’ve already apologized; I should have been watching Gale but twins or not, business continues on. We can’t stop working entirely, we do need money, you know. And we need to start interviewing for nannies while Shadowheart and Lae’zel are here.” 

You sigh. You’re both exhausted and doing the best you can. You know this. But this is not how you’d envisioned Gale’s first haircut. Watching the fine silver curls of your eldest fall to the floor, caked with slime, causes you to tear up and you quickly blink the wetness away.

You know it’s mostly the hormones. But it’s also the inexplicable guilt of your first baby no longer being your only baby, despite the happiness you feel about the twins arrival and Gale’s general exuberance at being an older brother. 

“All done!” Shadowheart exclaims as she ruffles the child’s hair, and the little boy grins and turns to look at the both of you with those adorable green eyes, searching for your approval.

“Very handsome, Gale,” Astarion compliments, “I think we might look even more alike now, if that’s even possible.”

Papa is good. He knows the quickest way to soothe any worries is to make sure Gale feels like he and his father are just alike. He absolutely adores his father and constantly mirrors everything about him.

“I agree,” You continue, moving forward to press a kiss onto the crown of the three-year-old’s head, “You look just like daddy now, my little love. What do you say to your Aunties?”

“Thank you Auntie ‘Heart and Auntie Lazy!” Gale exclaims, hopping off the stool he was perched upon and running to pet Apple, where she’s resting under the kitchen table, gnawing on a ball. You, Astarion, and Shadowheart all stifle giggles as Lae’zel’s mouth drops open in offense at being called lazy.

*

Later that night, you two are in bed, basking in another rare moment of silence. You’d read Gale his bedtime story while Astarion sat between the two rocking bassinets and kept the twins in constant sway, lulling them to sleep after they ate. 

“I knew this was going to be hard,” You sigh as you settle yourself in the crook of your husband’s arm, “But gods, Astarion, it really feels impossible.” 

Astarion presses a kiss onto your forehead, “Yes, darling. It does. But what have you always told me about doing impossible things?”

“That we’ve done the impossible things before, and this shouldn’t be any different.” You respond with another sigh as your husband brings his hand up to run his fingers through your hair.

He nods and yawns, “And for some of those impossible things, we required help, little love. Just like now.” 

You understand his meaning. You were struggling with the concept of hiring someone else to help you with the children; it somehow felt a slight to your pride and simultaneously made you nervous to have a complete stranger responsible for your offspring. Who could love and protect them more than you and Astarion? No one. 

But Shadowheart and Lae’zel being here undoubtedly made the day easier. Having them for a few weeks was going to be a blessing, indeed. You could already see it. 

Astarion was right. You two had the means to hire help, and your entire family was suffering without it. You’re about to tell him you know he’s right, but the poor father of three has already drifted into a trance, snoring loudly in his exhaustion.

You chuckle and place a small kiss to his cheek before settling beside him.

Shadowheart and Lae’zel take the first shift, allowing you several straight hours of sleep for the first time in over a month.

It truly does take a village to raise a child. It seems it takes a small army to raise three, at least for now. But your merry band of misfits has never shied away from a challenge. This isn’t any different.

And how lucky you are to have them all in your life, so willing to lend a hand whenever and wherever they are needed. Family is not always blood. Sometimes it is just the dangerous vampire, strange alien and secretive half-elf you meet after a terrible crash, instead.

Fate spins along as it should, though you aren’t always privy to the destination.

And isn’t that exciting? 

[robotbeetle]

I asked my sister (who knows nothing about bg3) if she would smash or pass on the bg3 companions. Her responses were so good so i thought id share

Wyll - Pass, he’s seems like he’s too focused on being a hero that he forgets to be a person.

Shadowheart - Smash but leave very quickly afterwards. She’s giving condescending girl boss. Looks like she has either mommy or daddy issues

Gale - …smash? Hes giving dilf but it seems like he has to try very hard to put the D in dilf

Lae’zel - pass, she has crazy in those eye. She seems like a girly girl but when she’s someone’s girlfriend she looks like she can be a bit much… like lavender brown from harry potter

Astarion - smash I suppose. Hes sort of giving chasimatic on the outside but angsty inside. His angsty part would make him pathetic but his whiny parts would be his most endearing. Would a good twink in the right context. Like a greek hero that keeps getting women and goddesses to fall for him. (Goes on to compare him to odysseus)

Karlach - shes giving herbo, shes very energetic shes very cheery. Pass, she seems like she would be a lot in bed. She seems like the type of person who loves giving hugs but is too aggressive with it.

[bg3womenconfessions]

Shadowheart is so cute and pretty and bratty I want every woman at camp to run an absolute train on her. I want her sandwiched between Aylin and Isobel while they DP her, I want her on her knees calling Jaheira mommy, I want her bent over Minthara’s lap and spanked, I want Lae’zel to hatefuck her from behind and pull her braid hard, I want her writhing on Karlach’s strap as Karlach strokes her hair and calls her a good girl. Why did god make her favourite princess so perfect and fuckable.

[aghostwithnoname]

BG3 Characters and their Cabins in Percy Jackson & The Olympians

Since my latest fandom obsession (BG3) happens to overlap with a renewed interest in one of my oldest fandoms (Percy Jackson), here’s all the cabins I think the companions would be in:

Astarion: Hermes, no question here. god of thieves, travelers, merchants, and dramatic hoes, he’d absolutely betray you and yet you’d love him for it, also can understand that “fuck the gods” mentality

Karlach: Hephaestus, a laid back, good soul who is also good with her hands. Understands what it’s like to be dicked around with by the gods, could absolutely fix your car and bench press you at the same time

Shadowheart: Artemis (adopted), she’s a moon child (repressed wolf girl) staying wild and also a disney princess with all the forest creature BFFs, 11/10 would kill you for looking at her wrong (yes Isobel and Aylin are with her - it’s a very sapphic time)

Halsin: Dionysus (so that’s why the wine makes him do weird shit) Free love and bacchanals baby! also a bro to all the satyrs, don’t piss him off

Wyll: Zeus, bc he’s my special boi and clearly the Most Heroic of all Heroes, he’s the Narrative’s Favorite and horribly cursed bc of it, also his go to power is Eldritch Blast which is close enough to lightning, you know he’d disappoint his father for being an upstanding citizen in every reality

Minthara: Nemesis. aggressive about the fact she only just got a cabin. always judging you, definitely has mommy issues

Gale: Athena, annoying know-it-all, never shuts up about his mom the same way he never shuts up about Mystra (there's something Freudian to unpack there)

Lae’zel: Ares, does not know the meaning of the term “peaceful resolution”, gradually warms up to you like a rescued Tasmanian devil

Jaheira: Demeter, clearly the hot mom friend of the group who could snap your neck and you’d thank her for it, she makes all the flowers grow

Minsc: Tyche, goddess of chance. This bitch does not know what he’s doing on a day to day basis and he does not care. will he bring chaos or peace? Who knows? Only Boo!

Dark Urge: Hades (this is self-explanatory)