#mom got mad at me today
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#i really hate conflicts#mom got mad at me today#and it doesn’t happen a lot#so i feel a bit weird about it#she was clearly still upset when she went to bed#I don’t think I really did anything particularly wrong but oh well#anyway#some coworkers told me they get cuteness aggression towards me#i guess i’ll take it as a compliment bc how am I even supposed to react to that#I’m not like offended or anything#it was just odd because i was never told that before#tbd later
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wonderful
#there is a ranboo that goes withthis but i didn't like how he was looking imma restart from scratch tmrw😭😭#ctubbo#michael beloved#ctubbo fanart#Guys you have no idea what i went through today like it wa fucking crazy i need to share this#so i went to the mall after school right and im going home at like 8 on the train with my friend bc i was supposed to be picked up ay her#stop right but then im told to just go to my stop and take the bus and im like ok sure but the problem is my phone is on SEVEN PERCENT and w#hen i get to the stop my moms like u have money for the bus right and im like ueah and i check and i have NO MONEY#BUT I DIDNT TELL HER ANUTHING BC I DIDNT WANT HER TI GET MAD BC I KNEW SHE WOUDKNT WANT ME TO WALK ALL THE WAY HOME AT NIGHT (FOURTY BLOCKS#So im like ok im getting on the bus now my phone is on four percent i have to WALK HOME allll that way and there's this crazy ass upward hi#ll that's like ten blocks long ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD but like my mom thinks im on the bus so im trying to speed walk as fast as i can and i#RAWDOGGED it too because MU PHONE WAS GOING TO IDE!!!!#I made it home at two percent U guys i was so proud of myself thank u for listening#IM SO MAD IT WOUKDVE BEEN OKAY IF I WASNT IN A RUSH And also if i had music uggghhh Whatever#I bought this really cute skirt at garage hold on let me find it#lexi pleated skort color Navy blue ITS SOOOO CUTE got some new leg warmers too yesss....#I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSIT APP i woukdve been able to attach my apple pay and buy the stupid ticket if my phonewasnnt#too dead to do al that...#Guys always make sure u carry cash with yiu goodbye
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heh
#vent#tw panic attack#so um#tw ed#today we had this community dinner thing in out neighbourhood#my grandpa was one of the organisers so i had to go there to eat#but as soon as i went there people kept pinpointing how much weight I'd lost#and it js . i couldnt take it and ran away#my dad got SUPER mad#mom too#but i had a really bad panic attack and i js . idk#its fine now#but i js couldnt stop shaking there and it was all really um overwhelming#i didnt want . anyone to see#they already think i have this superiority complex or something cuz i dont talk yo anyone#i dont i js dont know how to talk to peole in general plus they make me feel like shit too as is evident from the panic attack#and i ended up not eating not anything for dinner#i did have some rice in the afternoon i think so i did eat today#maybe ill make something later but im really tired
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my friend cancelled on going to a concert w me last minute when i paid for HIS ticket do i kms
#he called me and said he couldnt make it bc its his moms bday and theyre going out...mf we made these plans a month ago#u didnt remember ur moms bday????#i feel like hes lying or hes genuinely stupid#i made him send me the money bc i was mad but now i dont even wanna go like#and now its too late to sell it for anything close to what i got it for#i also dont have any other friends who like metal so im stuck here#i dont think im gonna talk to him bc its always me inviting him out and not the other way and he STILL cancels#like hes going to a babymetal concert in 2 weeks and did he offer me to come along?? NO!!! but for this i reached out and asked before +#before i bought the tickets#its not fair#idk i dont mind going to concerts alone ive gone to a couple alone this year im just mad bc i thought i was gonna have fun today
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the new girl at one of my favorite bakeries called me pretty this morning and it literally melted all my stress away 🥺
#kai.rambles#i was feeling sad bc my grandma is in the hospital and when i went to visit her they wouldn’t let me pass bc my license is expired#which okay ik that’s my fault but i took my passport with me just in case and the guy straight up told me that it wasn’t a valid form of id#and im like yeah tf it is ITS A PASSPORT and he said no#and while i was waiting for my mom to come down to the lobby an old lady came in and he turned her away for the same thing#and dudeee okay you turn me away fine fuck off but an old ladyyy??? at that age they don’t pay attention to that just let her pass#and then he argued with another woman bc she brought a flower arrangement and it had water so he couldn’t allow it HELLOOO??!?#so i had to leave and went to go get breakfast for my mom at least bc she stayed the night and i was supposed to stay the day#and when i came back to give her the food she told me that the nurse that was with my grandma asked what happened bc she wasn’t expecting#my mom to return and when my mom told her she immediately got so angry bc that same guy#didn’t allow her and a couple other nurses to bring in a cake for one of the residents#who’s birthday is today and they had a full on argument this morning#so it was all in all awful and now my mom has been there for more than 20 hours until later tonight when my aunt goes over :(#anyway this turned into a whole rant im sorry but im so mad bc i know for a FACT that a passport is a valid form of id#and he was just being a fkn dick#but the girl called me pretty and it took some stress off and she really liked my blush#and i liked hers so we had a little makeup 101 exchange and it was so nice at least 🥺#and i have a couple cute asks to answer that have made my day as well so i’ll get to those in a few 🥰
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#mom asks me to register for a visa waiver for their visit to japan#so i registered it#but after 4 tries all of them got.... terminated??#i even ask my friends who have went to japan with the same waivers and theyre like wtf is terminated???#so i told my mom hey try sending the request from there and see if it works#and she got realll mad and starts cutting me off and pulling all the usual angry mom cards#pissing me off#if i knew what was wrong with my submission i wouldnt be terminated 4 times#it literally just asks me scan of my passport theres no reason they should decline it#really killing todays vibe#and i just woke up too#fuckkkk
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if i project on her hard enough i'll get a cane :]
#critical role#cr3#laudna#laudna cr#cr laudna#i NEED to go to a doctor#cause if my pain can be helped with physical therapy that would be nice...#idk. i'm figuring out this chronic pain stuff -_-#never realized i had it cause i was raised to just not ever talk abt my pain ever so#and i still have that guilt of feeling like i'm faking it eugh#anyway in good news i used my knee brace today and it helped ! nothing fancy but my leg wasn't throbbing in pain by the end of the day !#like it still hurt but WOW. who fuckin knew.#i really want to try and get a cane. it'd make my walk to work so much easier#and it'd mean i can go on walks with my friend TwT#but i don't think my mom would ever get me a cane if i ask or would get mad if i got one wah...#ok i shut up now :)
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god i fucking hate my dad
#he came home today from a bike trip he went on and he's been arguing with me about honeybee the whole fucking day#he keeps saying just let her out let her run around! every time i put her in her pen to nap#and he refuses to stop her from biting him#and he got mad at her for playing with his socks when she'd just been playing with mine and he threw them on the floor of the living room#which first of all stop being such a fucking slob#and second of all what the fuck did you expect to happen? it's a soft new toy on the floor where she spends most of her time. where all her#toys are. very similar to the two soft items she's allowed to play with (my socks)#she's fucking 3 months old she doesn't understand the difference between my socks and his socks#and i keep telling him i know what im doing i was doing all the research while he went to buttfuck nowhere on his midlife crisis motorcycle#but he just wont fucking listen to me#and hes like oh youre at that age where you think youre right about everything and are so stubborn like fuck you actually#first of all im stubborn about this because its a living breathing puppy and his actions will affect her behaviour as an adult#and bc i know what im fucking doing. ive been an animal person my entire life. i did all the research. i did this exact same thing with#parrots for five years.#and hes like you cant just put her in her pen every time shes being a dog like no i fucking dont. i only put her in her pen when it's time#for a nap and she's getting overtired. you can't just let her run around until she collapses bc for one she never fucking will#second that's only going to make her energy threshold higher and then she'll be absolutely impossible to handle#and i told him that and that i read that on like every professional dog training source i read#and he said that might be true or might not be#like it fucking is bitch omfg#and then he tried to one up me like um i actually raised you guys for a long time i know what im doing#like a child is not a fucking dog. also my mom raised us lets be fucking serious. and look how well adjusted i turned out#and he told me to relax and calm down like i wasnt even arguing with him but i sure as hell will now#like dont tell me to fucking relax. when has telling anyone to relax ever made anything better. especially a teenager. especially a (for#simplicity's sake) woman.#and i told him dont tell me to relax and he got all pissy and stormed off#like literally fuck you#im my fathers daughter. im just as stubborn as he is.#rambles
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i don't understand why plants are a basic gift like this feels like smth you should only give someone if you know they're actively looking to get it (and then you should also get a specific type they may be looking for) or if they're already known as someone who likes plants. if i move out on my own and you get me a plant as a housewarming gift i will send you home with it immediately
#wow thank you for giving me... extra work and bugs...#dgmw i get WHY people like it. it's the fact that it's considered a BASIC gift that's driving me mad#bc it feels like a very specific gift to give only to someone who is already interested in it. do you get what i mean here??#extra bad when someone has cats. my mom got flowers for her bday from multiple ppl and our cat obviously started eating them#also weird to me that the other basic adult gift is a bottle of wine. like smth you give someone that you *don't* know well#what if they don't like it. what if they don't drink. how do you give someone a gift that's reliant on taste in any way#i am so confused by the custom of gift giving!!!!! i don't get it!!!!!!! 😭😭😭 none of it makes sense#all of its rules seem to be counterintuitive to any piece of logic i hold i swear.#sorry for being extra autistic today idk what's going on but it is what it is
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#1st my sister was passive aggressive bc i was boiling pasta when she wanted to make her dinner#so she slammed stuff nd chopped veggies aggressively#nd i felt my heart rate spike nd my body go tense nd i always get clumsy nd drop things nd hurt myself when i get that way#but they think i deserve feeling awful bc of mistakes in the past so i cant ask them to stop#i've been walking around w lots of heavy things nd im barely keeping it together#nd i got so mad bc she wouldnt stop so i started slamming the cabinets nd then left when i was done#then my mom nd other sister got home nd i just wanted to ask my mom smth#when i open my door my other sister goes 'omfg already?'#'immediately when we get home i never get a break. it's almost disgusting'#i just got so.. i realized how pathetic nd childish i am so i just went into my room#but then apparently my sister said to mom that *i* was the only one being passive aggressive#so she comes in to talk when i was having my dinner so i said that i plz just wnna eat my dinner#she didnt know nd she's never cared but i wanted to hurt myself so badly i was struggling not to#but then she started screaming at me for being childish nd passive aggressive nd that i never do anything#she left my room. she still talks to my sisters so i know it's onlg me shes sick of#idk.. today is bad bc i cant talk to her nd i dont have ANYONE else to talk to im all alone#and now i barely even wanna go outside my room bc apparently my family thinks i wnna mess w them just for going to the bathroom lmao#i hate myself so much. im so pathetic. im 25yrs old living at home being a burden#nd im just a pathetic nd childish person. i 'need' to talk nd vent nd rant nd#like if i buy some things i have these need to like do a mini haul or if i get books from the library#i wnna show my mom what books i got#it's so childish. i do feel bad for my mom to have to deal w me nd my annoying personality#why cant i jusy be normal. no wonder why i can never keep friends or my family doesnt wnna talk to me. everything abt me fkn sucks#anyway im just feeling so bad and so alone bc my moms mad at me so now i have no one to talk to
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#red vs blue#rvb director#rvb carolina#rvb allison#shitty comics#my dad did this to me once. when i was little my dream was to be in the military so he got his hands on an mre and told me to eat it#i was like 6 and that shit was so ass i cried for days and i was mad at my dad#he bought me ice cream cuz my mom was like wtf bro thats too cruel. and i was still mad. i took the ice cream and still was >:(#the frown lines on my face today probably came from that#do NOT let your parents on ebay#my rbf is a result of this cruel and painful childhood
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Talking to my brainwashed family members is going to be. So painful, no matter which way this election goes. Hoping your stepdad keeps his mouth shut
i hope the same to you friend :') it's really hard to ignore any part of the election when it's in your house with you, and god it sucks trying to deal with family members who don't seem to care if the person in charge of the country wants you dead
#This sucks ass!!!#So far he hasn't said anything other than his usual base level of total bullshit but who knows if that'll change tomorrow#Was trying to talk to my mom about a coworker or something today and he started going on about how his dad got his leg cut off or something#I don't think that happened but it's impossible to have a conversation without him having to say how something worse happened to him#It don't matter what the conversations about or whether or not what he's saying is relevant or even coherent#When I was last sick he got mad bc he was jealous of me getting attention and said about himself: 'i throw up every day'#No you??? Don't??????? What??????????? What??????#It's like living with a piece of roadkill that someone hooked up to chatgpt and is puppeting around to make it say random nonsense
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today sucked the life out of me ya Allah
#nothing particularly happened#well actually multiple things happened but none of them are that big of a deal im just tired#yesterday the ppt file for my presentation corrupted as i was finishing it :') didn't have autosave on :'))#had to redo the entire thing from scratch. i was working on it all week too for god's sake#finished by like 4am today and i had to be up by 8 for uni so i barely slept#the presentation was fine i think given i had to do everything again last minute but ik the original version was better#my blood pressure was through the roof the entire day for some reason. felt my pulse in my head for the whole day#fitting because our pbl case this week was about hypertension😭#called my dad to make sure he went to get his meds renewed...#i'm really worried about him he refused to go to the doctor again aslan but i sat him down and we had a long talk about it#alhamdulillah he agreed to go. only for them not to have his diabetes meds in stock💀 bas ya3ni it's good that he went anyway#my mom is a different story she's so stubborn i swear#had an argument with her today about letting me work again to lift a bit of the workload off her since money is still so tight#and she got pissed at me#so now im tired unrested have a migraine and my mom is mad at me what a day bgad#ya Allah
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Personal...
#just got racially profiled at my local post office while trying to buy money orders for my rent#i go there every month and deal with the same postal clerks#and they know this is my rent money#for some reason this was the day they decided to treat me like i was trying to commit fraud#i was so upset#there were three of them#all asian#which really hurt and confused me#two of them know me#i've been going to that post office for almost six years now#those clerks know me#but today they treated me like dirt#i'm so mad and sad#i need a stiff drink#i want to cry#but i'm a grown woman#I don't know why i'm telling the internet#my mom lives all the way in new york so she can't come give me a hug and calm me down#it sucks to be reminded that people will lie TO you and ON you because they don't like that you're black and can afford what they can't
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Today, my brother, after swearing off mountain bikes for many years after he took a particularly bad tumble as a kid, finally returned to the mountain bike. He could be quoted as saying “man this is really easy” and “move over I’m passing you y’all are so slow” and “see ya suckers” before braking way too hard and eating shit halfway down a mountain. As I type this he is in the hospital with two fractures in his arm ✌️
#mads posts#this is the exact same thing that happened the first time minus a broken arm btw#I should say I also took that turn way too fast and NEARLY ate shit I’m just more graceful than him so I can’t really poke fun#I WILL however say that my dad; AFTER seeing what happened to my brother#fell off his bike and banged the shit out of his arm + face (helmet was on) and he is going to the clinic tomorrow#so he and my brother went to the hospital ahead of me and my mom who had to return the bikes#on the bus ride to the hotel I could be quoted as saying ‘we’re the last two standing mom’ and ‘good thing neither of us got injured lol’#and then immediately getting a nosebleed#so#that happened today
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Why am I like- forgetting my tags for my blog? Like the tagging system. I switched acct on tumblr app bc post limit bullshit ykyk? I’m gonna pretend that’s why /hj
#sepiasys.txt#Unrelated; stomach is complaining. I *think* it’s hunger—which makes sense. But also maybe I’m digesting stuff.#Also regarding who I is; Influence from cat perhaps? But I got off call with mom. I feel like I should be one of the less anxious ones. I#say that because I can actually make eye contact. Usually we don’t really need to look people in the eye. But if I can look at our roommate#directly; then that’s significant. Yes we have to deal with a weird mix of possible limerence (that we’re actively trying not to spiral) and#apathy and stuff. Anyways I kinda wanna get food but I know it’ll still feel kinda awkward. Also I don’t really know what to get anyway.#I mean I guess I can make a shitty sandwich? Not feelin up to it. Also don’t rlly wanna make the easy microwave breakfast burrito; and dont#wanna get one of the sweet treats. Maybe I could get a drink; nobody is really drinking the pineapple+aloe (or whatever) drink much. I kinda#like it; so I wouldn’t mind it. It’s akin to the more *sweet* pineapple side than bitter but that’s not a horrible thing. It’s not sickening#I lowkey wonder what roommate’s work schedule is gonne become; he won’t have Saturdays off anymore I think. He also doesn’t seem to have to#work today. It’s nice to know a fairly regular schedule for him so I know when I have access to Elden Ring or his comp.#Plus I’m more comfortable with myself when he’s not around. Thinking about what to eat again /lh#ANYWAYS yeah regarding who I feel like? HOW I feel like? Fairly calm. chill. ‘serious’. /shrug#I know for a fact I have to have resting bitch face rn which is hilarious to think of. But I don’t think I’m mad about anything.#Stealing from a list of names I had before; I’m gonna pretend that I fit any of em. Ren. So whatever the fuck I am right now? Ren /lh#Ren feels like a green name. Probably. *Looks at this one image of various colors of sepia we have*#*Sees ‘Join or Die’ green sepia* that’s pretty rad /pf#Anyways. I wonder if there’s multiple of us that actually act/feel similarly. What if I can act like this and it’s not me but someone else?
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